#seriously its been forever since ive done one of these

[vaguesxrrow]

Heyy! Love your writing! Now that we got bisexual buck, I was hoping you could do buck from 911 x male!Reader, who is a Korean model?? I don't know, maybe they'll meet because of chimney but I will let you decide what you wanna do with it!

hii thanks sm for the request, it's been a while since ive written for 911. and tysm for your patience in getting this done - it's been like 10 days so oopsss 😅

buck / male korean model reader

a/n: background is that reader is friends with chimney and works as a model, but other than that there's nothing else specific

wc: 1335

tags: male reader, korean reader

what happens when you fly from korea to help the 118 shoot photos for the firefighter calendar?

"GUYS!" chim yelled, bursting through the walls of the changing room.

eddie flinched, muttering an exasperated 'mierda' as he picked up the shirt he dropped. ravi shrieked, covering it up with a deep cough. buck, who had been busy tugging on his shoes, fell flat on the ground with a resonant 'thud'.

"seriously, chim?" he said, rubbing his hip.

"my famous model friend is coming here!" chimney announced, oblivious to everyone's consternation. "he's from korea. his name's [name], and his team and him are gonna be doing the firefighter calendar photoshoot with us, and also a few photos for his personal project," he relayed, reading from his phone.

"wait a sec, when was this decided?" buck asked. "i don't know how i feel about an outsider coming to pose with our precious engines."

eddie rolled his eyes fondly and clapped buck across the shoulder. "buck up, buck. i think it's cool!"

ravi chimed in. "yeah, me too. when's he flying in?"

"tomorrow!" chim said chipperly.

eddie whistled. "that him?" he said, clicking on the profile picture. "he is one fine specimen of a man. i get why he's a model."

"buck, you should totally tap that," ravi agreed.

buck scowled. "he's hot, but not, like..." he groaned at his teammates' unconvinced looks. "okay, fine! he's hot. but he's not even a firefighter!"

⌦ --

you looked in awe at the firehouse, and its multiple engines and trucks parked out front, gleaming. maybe there was cleansing in the flame, you mused, as you marveled at how spotless everything was.

"it's so... clean," you told your photographer, lily. she murmured in agreement.

a laugh sounded. "yeah, that's cause we have a few clean freaks in the house," chimney said, ambling over to you. he gave you a hug, patting you on the back. "long time no see, man!"

"yeah, it's been forever, right? someone hasn't visited in a while," you teased.

chimney shrugged. "gotta take care of my family, you know?" he wiggled his fingers, showing off his wedding ring. "happily cuffed down now. what about you? found a hot guy that's struck your fancy?"

you shook your head in half bemusement, half wishfulness. "nope. not yet."

"ooh, what's this about a hot guy, chim? cause you've got one right here." a man gestured to himself up and down. his grey eyes sparkled as he grinned boyishly, clearly amused at his own joke. he had a birthmark on his temples, with ashy blonde hair, and god, wouldn't you like to run your hands through it-

"that's buck, ignore him," chimney said, shoving buck gently as he approached.

"hey!" he - buck - protested, turning to you. "definitely don't - oh wow.." his eyes scanned you up and down "i'm buck."

you smirked. "hi, buck. i'm [name]."

"no, yeah, i know," he breathed, then cleared his throat when chimney snorted, seeming to catch himself. "so, uh, you're here for the photoshoot!"

"i am," you affirmed. "thanks for having me." you smiled sincerely. it genuinely was cool to be here, in a firehouse with all its american glory.

"happy to have you here, brother," chimney said. "especially buck over here."

not so subtly, buck kicked him in the shin and chimney yelped.

⌦ --

cameras flashed, shutters clicking rapidly. you stood against the firetruck, a fireproof jacket draped over your bare shoulders, revealing your equally bare abdomen. the trousers you had on were baggy. you definitely looked nothing like a real firefighter in your impractical (and incomplete) getup, but you were excited anyway. secretly, you hoped you'd be able to try on the helmets.

"why are they going so fast?" buck questioned, disgruntled.

you laughed. "it's just how they do it. more shots means more good pictures."

"easy for you to say," he grumbled. his eyes swept over your body, not for the first time. "all your shots must be good."

"you calling me hot, evan?" you challenged.

"i think you know the answer to that."

you resisted the urge to respond with another flirtatious comment as your photographer instructed you off the set. she approached you, studying the photos in her camera intently. lily had been your photographer since forever, and you trusted that her work would be amazing as always. despite this, though, you became breathless at the sight of the first picture. buck was the focus of this one, the camera being more angles towards him than it was to you. he was wearing the unreasonably tight LAFD shirt, with the firefighter pants that were a size up than what he usually wore (as he had complained).

he looked perfect, you thought. his head was tilted back in a half laugh, and his bicep muscles were prominent from the way he had his hands poised on the back of his waist.

"it's really good, lily," you said.

"really?" she asked. "i was asking what you thought of getting rid of this one."

"oh." you flushed. "um. i'd kind of like to keep it. even if you don't use it."

she looked at you inquisitively. "sure..." she said. "well, why don't you go take a break, and we'll do another set of photos in 20 minutes?"

you nodded in affirmation, shooting her a thumbs up as you walked away to where you saw buck, chimney, and hen conversing, sipping from coffee cups.

"hey," you greeted as you walked up to them, a bit hesitantly. "mind if i join?"

hen smiled at you, maybe a bit too widely. "of course not!"

"no more photos you gotta pose for, supermodel?" chim teased.

you chuckled, ribbing him playfully in the side. "nah, 20 minute break."

"well, have you had a tour of the firehouse yet?" hen asked.

"unfortunately not."

"me!" buck blurted. "i mean, uh, i'd be happy to show you around."

"awh," you said. "thanks."

hen and chim exchanged knowing looks. "you go do that, buck." hen shooed him away.

"come on, [name]." buck took you by the hand. "time for the grand tour."

honestly, you would've given up the grand tour if it meant getting to hold evan buckley's hand for the rest of your life. it was as if your fingers had been molded perfectly for each other. his rough, calloused palms contrasted your soft ones. they juxtaposed each other, you noticed, looking down at your joined hands.

buck led you through the firehouse. annoyingly (pleasingly), he kept hold of your hand throughout the whole tour. it was only when you climbed the stairs and reached the communal bedroom that he let go to hold open the door for you, and you thought you might swoon then and there.

"leading me to your bedroom already? that's very forward," you joked.

buck chuckled, ducking his head in a way that made you want to tilt his chin right back up again. "if you ask my teammates, they'll be sure to tell you i usually bring people to the fire engines themselves, not the rooms."

you raised your eyebrows in surprise. "and when do you plan on... bringing me somewhere?" as you spoke, you inched closer and closer to him, almost unconsciously, as if there was some magnetic force between you.

buck's breath hitched audibly. "i wasn't... i mean, i wasn't sure if you were interested in me the way i'm interested in you."

"i am."

his eyes darted to your lips, then back up to meet your intense gaze. "then can i...?"

you leaned forward, just enough for your lips to brush. "yeah," you whispered.

buck surged forward to kiss you. your hands came up to his forearms, as his settled on your waist. he was so close, that you thought it might send your heart into overdrive, but at the same time it felt your heart may shatter if he didn't get closer.

when you pulled apart, both of you were breathless, and had a slightly dazed look about you.

"we should go out for coffee," buck said. "i mean, if you want to."

"evan," you laughed. "of course i want to.”

[thedeafprophet]

#1 and #7 for the art asks? (from @neathyingenue btw ;D)

1.When did you start creating art?

I would argue that everyone, always, and forever is making art in their own invidual unique ways. while we may have certain perspectives on various art forms, i think to create is simply part of being human.

....if u wanna know when i started drawing i would say maybe around 13/14 was when i frist started sketching? I was never one of those kids who's been 'drawing since they could hold a pencil' or whatever. I never really had any natural inflication towards drawing - as a younger kid i spent more of my creative time building structures out of popsicle sticks and whatever else i got my hands on.

When i was in my preteens/early teens, i mostly started trying to draw because my friends at the time were all doing it and i felt left out 😅😅 it was a bit of an uphill climb starting from a place with less experience and no natural talent for it.

I sorta clawed my way up from there, trying and failing since then. The real skill of an artist isn't drawing in my mind; its continuing to work at it even when you feel like it sucks.

I only really have my digital art saved back to when i was 18, but i started doing it a bit before then. And it was only in the last few years that I really feel like ive gotten a handle on how I draw, where i've ever felt solidly good about things i create, even if i still struggle with self esteem. Its funny what having a muse, so to speak, in your own characters will do for your art.

hmm. this. turned into a ramble. apologies lmao

All that is too say: For awhile and with determination to not back down from it.

7. Who are some artists that have inspired you?

So when I was 13 I was like, really really into Skyrim. Like. A lot lmao. (And one of the first things i really tried learning how to draw was my skyrim character. )

Anyway, the point of this is that my biggest art influence when i was a kid was Kayla Marquez/thewickwheat on tumblr, who used to do a lot of skyrim oc art, and was very inspirational for me learning how to draw. I feel you can probably still see remenants of that past in the way i draw now. I still seriously recommend checking her stuff out, her character design and linework is phenomoinal to me to this day.

I would say one of my current inspirations, of which im sure is no surprise, is J.C Leyendecker. Specifically in the way he draws clothing. While we obviously have quite different styles, i found our form when it comes to cloothing folds to feel somewhat similar, so i find using his stuff to be very inspirational when it comes to how i approach clothes now, especially suits and shirts.

Beyond that its like... so many artists. Honestly i'd need a whole seperate ramble of a poss just for that alone, and i've already rambled. I have hundreds of photos done by various artists i like saved and sorted across different artstyles on my computer to look at and Be Inspired By. I would say now adays i take a lot of inspiration from Edwardian and Victorian era paintings in general, as im drawing the topics of those contents quite a lot.

Ask Game From Here!

[uninformedartist]

That anon has a pretty good point. Fandoms have been making the kinkiest, most transgressive and perverted shit for decades and will continue to do so. That’s just fandom. But it feels like Viv and the others want to be part of their own fandom.

Obv they’re allowed to enjoy and be proud of their own show, but there’s a reason you don’t see other show runners openly making and promoting fetishy content of their own property, unless that property is itself pornographic in nature.

Like, there’s nothing wrong with making erotica. But you gotta kind of own the fact that this is what you’re doing. Viv wants people to take her show(s) seriously and get invested in the themes and personal journeys of these characters. But she also wants to advertise these same characters as sex objects and sell sexy sexy merch of them. Idk, I just think selling sexy merch of a character you identified as a victim of s*xual abuse is a bad look.

Idk how she can’t see that?

Yeah, we can't blame fandom culture for doing that because it comes with the fandom territory, been done since forever and a fandom is full of individuals good and bad it is what it is. Viv definitely wants to be part of her own fandom, seeing how she interacts like a fan with her fans, liking and even making fanart of her own characters. Not saying thats all bad but believe there should be a level of separation from a professional standpoint because Viv's fandom is unsavoury for the most part. I look at Dana Terrace, she does the same as what I mentioned but still keeps her distance from her fandom for professional reasons, to not make a parasocial relationship with fans good or bad ones and also to prevent being lumped together with the... unsavoury side of her fandom, they're yuck. You're so right, Viv basically wants to have her cake and eat it too, have fetishising fanart/premoting it/having staff do the same but still want to have a show with sensitive themes, characters with trauma etc.

You cannot have both, its disingenuous and inappropriate and just plain wrong but she sees nothing wrong with it. Its profitable and fandom loves it and thus they also see nothing wrong with it and will shut down anyone who may be a victim speaking out how they feel about this or anyone else. Its ultimately a weird parasocial relationship Viv has with her fans that works well in her favor when it comes to backlash, accountability and criticism.

Also going back to Viv and staff making such fanart/merch or whatever that are fetishising in nature about their shows . Ive seen always in the past show runners or staff that did this faced serious backlash and ridicule. Happened with Rebecca Sugar (yes it was not of her show property but Viv has drawn "unsavoury" art of other shows and got no backlash she's still going strong) and thinking off the top of my head staff members of the rise the TMNT got caught drawing show styled p*rn. But so far nothing with Viv's show, yes its raunchy but not straight up sexual in nature plus the serious themes it contains.

Comes really down to the fandom at large calling it out and not agreeing with it. But Viv has cultivated the perfect hive mind fandom, nothing she does or says is wrong to them and thats unlike other fandoms. Taking the SU fandom who yes watched the show but were critical and didn't praise Rebecca like some god who can do no wrong (there is the other part of the SU fandom but talking about the SU fandom in general). Thats not what's happening with Viv so she's getting away with doing all this.

Also I say unsavoury but mean other egregious words.

[dojunie]

IVE BEEN WANTING TO GREET YOU A WELCOME BACKK!! 🤸🏻‍♀️😭 I WASNT REALLY SURE IF I SHOULD MSG, COZ THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST OF MY ENTIRE TUMBLR CARRER 🫢😭 BUT YAURSS 😭✊🏼 I JUST STARTED FOLLOWING YOUR ACCOUNT A MONTH AGO?? 😭 AND MISDIAL FUCKING ATE.‼️‼️ IT ISNT EVEN FINISHED, YET THE CHAPTERS IVE READ IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KNOW ITS A MASTERPIECE FR 😭✊🏼 BRO I WAS LITERALLY READING IT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, AND GURL WHEN I TELL YOU I COULD NOT STOP READING.BLOODSHOT EYES GLUED TO MY SCREEN, CHARGING MY PHONE AND LAYING ON ONE SIDE TILL IT REACHES A CERTAIN AMNT OF PERCENTAGE SO I COUKD TURN AROUND KNOWING I COULDNT WAIT AND PAUSE READING TYPE THANG 😭 SAFE TO SAY I DID NOT GET SLEEP 😭 I DEADASS FINISHED THOSE 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE GO, AND I SWORE TO MYSELF ID KEEP CHAPTER 3 FOR WHEN U UPDATE SO ID HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP ME SANE. I LIED. I COULDNT HELP IT BRAH, YOUR WRITING JUST TEWW GOODD. I READ THE LAST CHAPTER IN SCHOOL, AND AFTER I FINISHED I WAS LITERALLY STUNNED BRO. LIKE WHADAFAK, I SAT THERE LONGING (😂😭) LIKE REAL NOT FAKE. I WAS GLUED TO MY SEAT JUST WISHING AND PRAYING FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER 😭✊🏼 I WAS DEADASS DYING WAITING FOR THE NEXT UPDATE BRO. AND I WAS EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED WHEN I REALIZED YOU LAST UPDATED ON DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR⁉️⁉️ BRO I CRIED. I PRAYED, AND I CRIED 😭. I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE ABANDONED STORIES OR ABANDONED BLOGS 😭🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️ BUT BRO I LOVE GOD FR I LOVE THE UNIVERSE THEY BE WATCHING MY BACK COZ LITERALLY NOT EVEN A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER YOU CAME WITH AN UPDATE‼️ YAHEY😭🤸🏻‍♀️✨🧚🏻‍♂️ TALK ABT PERFECT TIMINGG‼️ BUT YAURS IK DIS WAS A LONG MSG 🤣 COULDNT CONTAIN MYSELF FR 😭✊🏼 BUT I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW, TAKE YOUR TIME WITH SETTLING IN, UPDATING, AND EVERYTHANG. YOU HAVE A LOT GOING ON WITH JOB HUNTING, SCHOOL, AND MOVING!! DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO UPDATE, TAKE YOUR TIME!! (Please update misdal soon 🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️😭🤣 ‼️half jks‼️🤣) BUT YAURS TAKE YOUR TIME AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST 🫶🏻 LOVE YOUSSS ✨🧚🏻‍♂️🤸🏻‍♀️🫶🏻 STAY SAFES AND HEALTHY IN THE MEANWHILEE 😋🫶🏻🫶🏻😭 (sorry if I didn’t really make sense, English isn’t my first language 😭🙏🏼🫶🏻)

idk i think im in love w u

definitely need to put this under a read more bc i have been SCREAMING!!!!!!! OVER THIS ASK FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS!!!!!!! when i tell you im going to print out this message and stick it to the wall in front of my desk so i can see it every time i sit down to write najkdajdjsklajd nckdsn i love this ask i love u i love this ask i love you!!!!!!!!! im so happy the lil stories i write about kpop boys grabbed u hard enough to make u stay up on a school night, dying phone and all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i was writing ch4 and starting ch5 i was thinking of this message like 'i cant let colorful anon down i have to get this shit out BEFORE 2024!!!!!!!!" AND SO BE IT IT SHALL BE DONE

its crazy to think that its Literally been an entire year since the last update and people are still so invested........... like im cryin a little yall are seriously the realest

i love u im not kidding this is my favorite ask of all time. i almost dont want to answer it so it can stay in my ask box forever but u clearly went all out in writing this so i simply cannot allow the world to not see your work of art

screenshotting to make it my wallpaper as we speak

i am dubbing you colorful anon, pls come back whenever you want even if its just to leave an emoji in my inbox when ch 4 drops

im going to staple this message to every wall of my house i am so honored to be ur first ask

going to OPEN the misdial google doc and write some more for YEW!!!!!!! CAUSE U DESERVE IT!!!! MUAH MUAH KISSES I AM TUCKING U INTO BED LOVINGLY!!!!!!!!!!

[koqabear]

What'd you think about chasing the feeling (as in the sing itself)

UGH I LOVE IT. i think it's so interesting how txt is able to just tap into every genre ever and execute it so well?? like each of their title tracks has something so new and unique to offer, and they're such diverse artist with unique voices and looove their music sm idk 😭😭

i started yapping so bad i had to put a read more 😭

another thing i always love to pick at and dissect is the way they change their tones and vocal techniques when they sing different genres?? like yes, i know it's something you're supposed to do if you want to execute a song right but like. some artists just dont... do it as much. but it's even more satisfying bc they've said it themselves that they do it purposefully!! like when they talked abt tinnitus or.. i think it was sugar rush? they mentioned that they like to experiment with different ways and styles when singing their lines, and they even take inspiration off each other when they're in the studio recording!!

BUT OK I HAVE A POINT TO THIS. THE POINT IS that their different voices just shine SO WELL in this title track. like you can seriously pick the little techniques that they like to do so clearly, their singing styles, the difference between gyu's airy and delicate voice in contrast to yeonjun's forward voice 🤤 OMG I LOVE when yeonjun sings like that, his enunciation is so interesting, especially because he has a lot of lines where he sings with a bit legato and then he suddenly adds accents to words !!! just wheewwww 😖(its been way too long since ive done anything music related so if im not making sense just. please go easy on me.)

the song as a whole is also just perfect !! one thing i will forever be obsessed with is the use of synths ! it makes the instrumental so pretty and compliments the whole new wave vibe they're going for, i seriously didn't expect them to go in this direction for this comeback, and i think that's what makes it so much more satisfying ‼️ the buildup in the prechorus is SOO GOOD. the instrumental rlly aids to it with the little like... buildup... fuck i forgot what it's called exactly but then when there's that little snare(?) and it leads to the most GODLY LAYERED HARMONY. i am so obsessed with layered harmonies, seriously. (red velvet is my sanctuary)

and ofc.... taehyun's high note.... his voice is just so mesmerizing im forever gonna be obsessed with it. it sounds so clear and is just pleasing to the ears, seriously. and the little "ooh" that he does after ??? MAN. I LOVE HIM IDK. IDK I LOVED THE SONG I NEED TO SHUT UP IM SORRYALDKGHS this was just supposed to be a few words idk how i got this far 😞

[taelovesjohnny]

Muted ( The Outsider) Chapter 11 The Devils House

millile's PoV

This house is so angry now. Ever since ally told the whole gang that it was dally who raped me, everybody has been so uptight, and i think the only one that really likes dally right now is Johnny. i think he wouldv'e been a good dude, but he raped me so, thats a big game changer, for sure. i was sitting on the couch, reading a book, something i rarley do. its just to get my mind off of the maddness. i think the boys thought that just because they know who raped me, will get me to open my mouth. i got big news, its never gonna happen!

" hey baby, wanna go with me, skinny dippin'?" two-bit joked. and though it was meant for me to get mad, and start yelling, soda beat me to it.

" what the hell, two-bit!!! shes my sister!!!! lay off!!" 

" Soda's right, if she dont wanna go out with you, thats final, sorry dude." steve butted in on our conversation.

" im never letting my sister date a foolless drunk, thats for sure, even if he's a buddy." this time it was ponyboy.

" smart ass i can date anyone i want. just watch me." two-bit grinned, as he came over to me. " may i have you, my lady?" 

i closed my book. oh this is gonna be fun. i gave two-bit my hand, and he yanked me up. he put his hands on my waist and started to lean in. two-bit was one of my bestie's. besides soda, two-bit was the next highest on my list. we knew eachother like an open book. he started kissing me roughly on my jaw bone. just then i heard the door slam. i looked over two-bit's shoulder to see dallas winston, staring at me with cold eyes. All the boys stood where they were, dumbfounded at what two-bit was doing. this was the most fun i was having in like forever. 

" i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you." two-bit was going mad. he knew i wanted to lighten things up, so before he started he gave me his " i'll do this if you let me, and i will not hurt you, but ill go to the extreme" look. and boy was he going to the extreme. his beer soaked breath soaked my face, as he leaned down and kissed me on the lips. The whole gang started yelling at that point.

" Bro that was seriously not cool!!" steve shouted.

i kissed back. and i kept kissing back.

" Millie, please dont do this, you dont want to go out with that bafoone." i looked at who said it, we all did, the boy who said it, was not  Sodapop, or Steve, or even Darry, It was Dallas. Dallas winston.

Dallas, pov.

I just came into the curtis house, hopefully to find a beer and make up for some of the shit that i have done to half of this gang. I went in with some very high hopes. but when i saw everybody looking in a direction that was not the direction of the tv i knew something was amiss. 

two-bit and Millie were kissing. I got kinda jealous, i mean. wait what. no. i did not just say that. i hadn't heard the girl talk since ive been with the gang. i think thats crazy, a girl like her, ought to have a ton to say.

she looked at me, those eyes impaled my thoughts. she looked at me with, i dont even know, was it savage, fear, anger, i dont know, but it sent me crazy. two-bit lingered at her face for one moment, and then kissed her on the lips, steve shouted something. and then she kissed back. wow.

" Millie, please dont do this, you dont want to go out with that bafoone" I was shocked i said that, in front of the whole gang, but its true, i might have developed some feelings for her, ever since the first day i saw her. i thought she was beutiful. the whole gang looked at me.

" what, i'm pretty sure, you guys were all thinking it." i said, trying to cover up my story.

they did not look impressed. so i sat on the couch, and looked up at two-bit and millie. and smiled reclessely.

[vigilantaes]

name:   andy

pronouns:  she / he / they. whatever vibes i give u

preference  of  communication:  discord but i'm slow and busy to reply LOL my bad. its the adhd

name  of  most  active muse(s):   cass! im probably moving my wonder woman to a sideblog here tho cuz i miss her. also looking into another character to go w/ scoob's sandra... stay tuned.

experience/how  long  (months/years?):  like my whole ass life.... i think i literally started rping on wizard101. tumblr wise tho i belieevveee 2015ish? give or take

platforms  you’ve  used:  besdies online mmo games, i started more serious literary rp on devi.antart. got on tumblr a few years later and thats my fave to this day. not a fan of discord rp

best  experience:  man there were so many... obligatory best experience being meeting my fiance on here or whatever. imma be honest i wouldnt have mentioned this if kat didnt also almost forget and put it on her's GEHSUIEGSJKHDG but my best muses were probably when me and her were writing shin.obu and ka.nae from demon slayer. still am obsessed w/ those portrayals. probably my peak. had an insanely popular tsu.yu from b.nha blog that was also a fun time mostly

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers:  uhhh don't treat our rp stuff like we're in a dedicated 8 year long relationship or something because i do not take this website seriously whatsoever. also dupes who take out their dupe anxiety on/around me is the worst thing ever... especially bc i love dupes so so bad but ive had a long string of them starting shit w/ my friends just cuz they were jealous of something. we're alll just a bunch of nerds writing collaborative fanfiction its not that deep.

fluff,  angst,  or  smut:  i like all three! preference for fluff and angst but i'll plot out smut. never really wrote much of it myself but i'm open to that depending on the occasion. if i had to choose one i guess angst cuz im the best at writing that but i get bored of just one thing all the time.

plots  or  memes:  memes because my attention span is garbage and im sadly too busy to full on plot with people. i do loooovee plots but its also kinda difficult since it has a lot to do with if you and the other person vibe or not u_u would love to plot more tho

long  or  short  replies: i'll be honest. i love long so bad but it takes forever to write so i prefer like 70% short stuff and 30% long stuff. i don't like dialogue for more than goofing around. short for me is like 2-4 paragraphs and long is 5+, for reference.

best  time  to  write:  when my mentally ill brain allows me to focus/fixate long enough to do so AND im not being bombarded w/ ppl needing my help or job stuff. the woes of being a techy...

are  you  like  your  muse(s): in a few ways (like aesthetic) but not really, i've had other characters that i act way more like in the past. love her so bad tho she's definitely one of my fave character types to write even if i dont act much ilke her

tagged by @leopardblow ♥ ♥ ♥ tagging whoever hasn't done it! idk i haven't been on LOL

[captainaikus]

✨Chapter 2✨ part 1

IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS I CANT BELIEVE ITS ALMOST BEEN A WEEK IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AS SOON AS IT CAME OUT BUT LIFE GOT IN THE WAY BUT IM HERE NOW BELLE!!!

OH HO HO WE’RE STARTING WITH THE LETTER??? YESSS I COULDNT WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE WROTE. *reads the first metaphor and starts sobbing* it’s a diary. ITS A DIARY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP THROUGH HER EYES IM SOBBING RN. I honestly love the idea that Oliver doesn’t have the best relationship with his family. Adds more spice yknow? WAIT WAIT WAIT. HES READING THIS??? THIS IS HIS POV??? ASDHJHHFJJFFHHHFFF THIS IS AMAZING. Also I love how hurtful the readers love is portrayed in the diary. Making him read your years worth of heartache gives a chance for him to reflect on his actions. Oliver having Viking ancestry??? That’s a yes from me!!!! Not him already unconsciously planning a date to take you to see the northern lights and only being able to imagine your face. BOY YOU ARE DOWN SO BAD. WAKE UP ALREADY. NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE DREAM RELATIONSHIP. BELLE LOVE PLS. You’re killing me rn *sobs*. That scene with her framing abt their future relationship and his hand hosting over here whilst giving him a back hug was written so well I can literally feel it happening adhkhdhkgfjhgf ugh. God reading the diary entries was so painful. I can practically hear the riding and falling octaves of hurt and desperation and hollowness and acceptance. *cries* BELES IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET HOW CAN I GO ON LIKE THIS???!!? *proceeds to keep reading* NO BUT HIM REALIZING HOW HES MORE THAN JUST A SCUMBAG IN SOMEONE EYES SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING RN BELLE. I really do this that he doesn’t view himself as highly as his ego on the field does. Aside from soccer, I feel like Oliver would have a few self worry issues. You’re making me think abt his character more and this isn’t even an analysts post asfkjgfggiij. I love how you’re exploring him as a person through his relationship with the reader. It’s really hard and tricky to develop a character using a relationship they have with someone else but you’ve done a fantastic job with it love!!! Oh timeskip?? I love your dialogue writing so much, you really make y/n have a personality and Oliver doesn’t just have the 2 traits of soccer and playboy. Uh oh not the mother call. You really know you’ve messed up royally bad of you get a video call from mom with the look. Rip Oliver you will forever be remembered in our memories. WE LOVE MOM IN THIS HOUSEHOLD FINALLY SOMEONE TALKING SOME SENSE INTO THIS MAN SERIOUSLY QUIT BEING AN ASS OLIVER I SAY THIS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR HEART. I love how the loneliness slowly creeps up on him in the little things tho. The extra groceries the empty bedroom the lack of the faucet running in the morning just ugh yes I love it all. I wanna bet that he hasn’t had a girl over or even thought abt having one over since she left cage she’s all he can think abt. I’m right aren’t I? Yup I was right. FINALLY. ITS ABT DANG TIME. NOW PRESS THE CALL BUTTON OLIVER OR SO HELP ME-. Noooooo not the voicemails. This is a risky so freaking sad to read. He’s hurting so bad but I’m still kinda mad at him so like ugh. THE GASP I LET OUT WHEN I READ THAT HES GETTING A TATTOO FOR YOU *SCREAMETHS* I’m still grinning like a crazy person asdjjfgjkhghh. Maybe not the best emotional decision while drunk Oli BUT THE SYMBOLISM THE SYMBOLIDM IS WHATS GOT ME GRINNING LIKE A FOOL. Belle you’ve got me loving all the angsty stuff *cries*. wait what. did. did I read that right???????? 6 years????? 6???? Six??????? ITS BEEN 6 YEARS SINCE THEYVE LAST SEEN EACH OTHER IM-. *wheezes and continues to furiously scroll* Oliver don’t you dare lie to yourself and say it was a drink regret we all know it wasn’t. The time skip was well place though. Unexpected but understandable. It was really needed and they’ve both grown separately which is what I was really hoping for. But see. Since the time skip was so early. I know there’s gonna be a LOT of drama upcoming. And I for one cannot wait!!! Sobs not him carrying your diary with him in his bag everywhere he goes like a lost wayward lover. That’s so mystical and romantic. Never through I’d use those two words to deserve Oliver of all people but your writing is just that good.

- ✨ anon

✨Chapter 2✨ part 2 Note: I cant believe it made me divide my ask into 2 parts tumblr do better smh That’s so mystical and romantic. Never through I’d use those two words to deserve Oliver of all people but your writing is just that good. CRIES KNOWING HE PROBABLY THOUGHT HE SAW A GLIMPSE OF YOU BUT IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE EVERY TIME AND HE WAS LEFT SO HEARTBROKEN AND SAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERY TIME. OOF. Big oof. 6 years and no women huh? You messed up big time bud. Thank your wife Belle that’s she’s kind enough to give you a (probably) happy ending with this fic (I hope). NOT HIM SLOWLY ADOPTING YOUR MANNERISMS AND HABITS AS THE YEARS WENT BY. Seriously you pulled out all the heartache stops for this chapter Belle. Prediction. Why do I think the chapters gonna end with them meeting again? Cries. Yes. Wallow in despair and mistakes Oliver. It’ll be much help in your character development. Oliver honey. You can’t do this to me. Pls I cant take the pathetic heartache. And the strangers wondering what’s got him looking so sad too??? Stan me now why don’t you? UGH BELLE THIS US SO FREAKING GOOD!!!! Shout out to Sendou for being a true friend. I wonder if his relationship will Oliver will be developed a little later on too? Maybe. No. No no no. Ohhhhhhh my God. NOOOOOOOOO IM SCREAMING RN BITING MY PILLOW I SO DID NOT THINK YOU WERE GONNA GO THIS ROUTE BUT I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I JUST ASFJHFGJFFHGDFGFFGGG SHES HERE ISNT SHE???? SHE WANTED TO SHIW THEIR DAUGHTER HER DADDY AND SEE HIM TOO UGH I AM BELLE YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. “Staring into the camera wondering if you were watching him” BOY SHES IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. Not me slowly losing my mind over this new development don’t mind me asdfjkgggjjj. Ohhhh okay so my prediction for her being in the stands and having their daughter watch the game intentionally was false BUT I MIGHT STILL BE RIGHT ABT THE CLIFFHANGER ENDING LETS SEE. Pshhhhhhhhh Oliver bring bad with kids is actually so hilarious to me. God having a daughter makes so much more sense now with the context of cutting off contact and the little details. You could have predicted but it was a very low chance you did that part so well girl!!!! ASTJFDHKIFFJKUFFGJJUFDFFFF NOT THE OLDER SISTER!!!!!!!???? WILL SHE LET THEM MEET OR NO??????!!!!! AHHHHH I CANT TAKE THIS. AND I WAS RIGHT ABT THE NANES BEING SIMILAR I DIDNT MENTION IT BUT I HAD AN INKLING. LIVI = OLIVIA = OLIVER????? Yessssss give me the parental relationship development and parent-child similarities. I literally speed read the rest of it cause oh my God I couldn’t stop myself. I loved this chapter so much. His resolve to win you back over??? FREAKING TOOK 6 YEARS AND A SECRET DAUGHTER BUT WE’RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!! Everything abt this chapter was amazing and I loved it so much seriously you did an amazing job with this!!!! The formatting and borders look fantastic btw!!! I cannot wait for the next chapter but pls pls pls ake your time and don’t overwork yourself sweetheart!!!! And again I’m sorry for the late response and lack of interactions. Life got busy and I’ve been occupied mentally with friendship stuff. Sighs. Anyways. IM GLAD TO BE BACK NOW THO!!!! I wanna catch up!!! How are you love? How’s break been? And uni? Are you feeling better? I hope you are!!! And that you get all the writing inspiration and kudos on ao3 (unfortunately I can’t spam the kudos button or I would have) and much interactions on your blog!!!! ALSO. Question. But would you prefer me writing the reviews for the chapters on your blog or in the comments section of the fic on ao3? *sending many virtual hugs* - ✨ anon

FINALLY. the much awaited reply - I really loved reading every min of this and now I'm gonna talk about every small detail of it so it's gonna be a long ask. So yeah lets dive right into it ! We did start off with her diary. And YES. the story is a dual perspective one so there is developments on Oliver's side as well. The idea of him having viking ancestry came from vinland saga for me as well as the study of vikings - most of them came from the nordic belt so there was a possibility of that and honestly... viking! Oliver? *fans face* Now the whole thing abt the back hug and that scene? That was out of a dream I had a couple of months back that I was talking to blue about. I just love the whole narrative where you're hating him and loving him at the same time ToT

And yes! so one of the issues with Oliver's character (i'm not sure if you're reading the manga or not -) but even as a football player, he does have more addition to his personality than his nature and looks; adults took away his future from him. He wanted to be a striker but because of his coach, he had to give up that dream and become a defender instead. Another thing I like is making (y/n) have a personality as well as strong dialogues. One of the issues with fanfic writing is that the reader is also a if not the main protagonist of the story. Some of the (y/n)s out there (and I'm not saying this to stir anything up) are too soft spoken or give in too easily. Some authors mention that the reader is stubborn either through description or dialogues but they don't show it or show the reader being too dependent on someone. And honestly, I'm glad you brought out the point that the way I characterize people has more to do with stuff that really counts as a personality including Oliver since he has just been restrained to football and being a playboy -smh. Since my stories have less of smut and more of plot, there has to be character development and since I like seeing people blossom, might as well do it with the characters right? and in this case, its to do with time. he does get lonely - and there's an explanation for that in the story. So the story about the tattoo... I was planning on getting an arm tattoo done for him. like a fawn over the shoulder and then adding stuff to it... but Oliver doesn't strike as the type to get tattoos. So he got one on the ankle and...yeah no I'm not giving spoilers for further chapters just yet. |>.<| Ik the time skip seems big... but yeah. 6 years - I can't believe I fell for Oliver, then again. he's practically the only sane one in there and maybe Bachira... or else everyone is either depressed or feral. not in between literally.

6 years and Oliver hasn't had women. And ofc my story has a happy ending! - 'hurt me and put me back together' is my motto atp I'm glad that you're enjoying the angst starry - cause that's where most of my character development is. And there's more drama in the next chapter. So... did no one notice that Oliver didn't pull out? *laughing* well... yes. we did have a daughter. Oliver is actually terrible with babies. I'm happy to hear that i pulled it off well T.T Well... chapter 3 is packing. I already have a title ready And its fine! honestly- its good to take a break from tumblr once in a while So here's my update - I managed to put on weight during my break. 3 kgs/ 7 pounds consistently working out at the gym and uni... is exhausting. but we're working and I also bought a lot of books during break (chainsawman as one of them) and another one that I'm really engrossed in atm, Anything is fine Starry!! I'm keeping tumblr active in case someone wants to tell me something anonymous or discussions for character development. and I saw your comment on my fic on ao3 - i wanna say that I really appreciate it cause that was one of the first comments that fic ever got and I'm happy about it (gonna respond to it soon as well) *sending bear hugs*

Starry his collarbones are catching me off guard -

[starsambrosia]

Tw mentions of sa/abuse/trauma

I was talking with Uncle Zeus tonight...5am

I asked if he wanted me to write something or go to bed, he wants me to write before bed.

Ooh boy, yknow im partially scared about being open here since ive gone so long being sorta super abused for opening my mouth about this, but i lost a lot to get here yknow.

Im not some dumbass pretending or role-playing, i lost family, friends, a girl i thought i loved more than anything, my religon crumbled before my eyes, ive been abused, assulted, forced into some nasty shit. All because i opened my mouth about this.

You dont belive me? Check divination, ask Zeus yourself, i dont care anymore because what else can be done to me. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And i know why he wants me to speak, i was so afraid so anxious to join pagan group or talk on here so scared to be flamed or outcast.

What can you do to me that the ones i loved most havent already done. Nothing. Whats some online dramma if it means i can finally open my mouth and express the things ive seen and felt.

It's been 6 years now since Apollo appeared to me, when i was a devout christian in training to be a prophet of "god"

Do you know how long i ran frome this??? Do you have any idea how long i fought them how many other pantheons i ran to and was booted out of, how many times Loki downright pushed me back to the greek pantheon, essentially saying "yeah this isnt my kid"

So much doubt and fear so much pain.

For the people who fake it, why? Why. This is hell this hurts this aches this has brought me unimaginable pain. I wanted so bad to just be normal to just be literally a normal ass dude.

I have lived in constant torture for so long. Day and night nothing but violation and suffering. I am a shell of what i was. And i have to heal so, so much, and i will never be the same. And even with all of that, im happier now...than i ever was christian.

I actually feel loved by them, supported, cared for. I feel bad i fought them for so long about this, i feel guilty that for so many years i shut them off saying it was hubris while they constantly patiently guided me over and over and over proving again and again that it was true and i couldnt run forever.

Its ok

Im scared, but thats ok

I'll be ok. People are entitled to their belifes and i know mine is controversial i know i might not be taken as seriously even though i dedicated so much time so so much time meditating, learning divination, channleing, banishments, hellenism as a whole as well as greek mythos and even teaching, reiki healing, greek cultural studies and history i put forth so much time and effort and study because i doubt I'm who they say i am and i fear so much that i am lying that one day Zeus will smite me for my audacity.

But, they havent.

Instead I'm embraced, met with love, care, encouragement, they get exasperated when i try to fall back to being a follower, they chastize me for it, i cant worship i cant do shit that followers can i am outcast from pagan groups because im looked at as a fraud or a scammer or an idiot when ive dedicated so much time to studying and learning just desprately trying to understand why im like this.

And yknow what

Thats fine

Everyone has their path, everyone has a right to belive, and I've met other demigods, ive seen them and ive done divination and theyr legit.

And anyways this is my blog i should be able to say whatever i want

If i can say stupid bullshit 24/7 why cant i actually express what i genuinely belive and hold very close to myself.

I pledged myself, mind, body, and soul to Lord Zeus, King of the gods.

If he sees fault in my actions he has and will punish me. I am more and more confident every day in who exactly i am.

And ive been through too much bullshit to stay silent any longer.

Thats my ted talk

[ess-presso]

hi ess! <3 im back🕺

ur so right the universe ships wolfstar. i also saw regulus when stargazing but he was too far away from sirius to be in the picture💔 one day reg, one day.

ALSO happy late lily evans day <3 cant believe i missed her bday. rip lily u wouldve loved taylor swift❤️

tay time! mr perfectly fine, message in a bottle, & last kiss <3

chat time!

i dont think i could force myself to sit through dwd, ive learned enough abt it via osmosis and thats enough for me tbh.

THEY SERIOUSLY DO TAKE PICS OF TREES AND CLOUDS!! it baffles me. like sure maybe the clouds looked particularly nice and i understand that canada has some big ass trees but be fr. also i swear someone was taking a pic of a fucking pigeon once.

ur so right id also lose my mind over a red sock in my laundry. i think thatd be the final straw for me.

i think i have to agree ben barnes' smile in podg is very sirius. dorian gray IS sirius in the same way paul from dune is reg. no joke i almost called paul regulus to my dad the other day. not my finest moment❤️

godspeed on ur exam, u got this💪 drunk procrastinators never lose.

I DID SEE THAT VIDEO OF THE PERSON BITING THE TERRYS ORANGE!! i swear ive never been so mad before. also toblerone def is an essential drunk snack for sure.

that moment sounds so sweet, and it was raining too????? thats literally perfect. no matter how hard i could try i know liv would never dance to jazz w me. definitely considering revoking her best friend status right about now. but its fine because i know shed dance w me to taylor and 1d so that makes up for it <3

geoguessr can be so hard sometimes especially when its in america. like i swear unless its a city with signs i can never get it. like how am i supposed to know that this big ass field was kentucky and not fucking iowa.

L best friends for the win!!!!!! but ur right they lucked out too cause we're incredibly cool so good for them<3

maybe one day my negative rizz will pay off but ur right. until then i'll kick back with my wine & books & fanfics cause thats all i need in life. & damn cursing victoria to fail her exams, u know what thats so valid she deserves it.

likeafunerall's art is SO GOOD. so good. im obsessed with her character designs theyre just so perfect. and omg yes u should totally put them up on ur wall itll look so good. AND YES I SAW THE SOLDIER POET KING ART!!! its so good i cant. likeafunerall never misses.

I SAW THAT APPLETV AD YESTERDAY! i was freaking out like i swear appletv is doing this on purpose.

work song is simply so good. id KILL to see hozier live and for him to perform that song.

if i talk to caesar ill let u know. he was stabbed ~23 times so id say thats on par with a jesus style betrayal (esp since brutus was his close friend) rip julius i do hope u got a lil kiss before they maimed u<3

is alex turner psychic??? thats so funny.

omg not the famous 1975 concert featuring taylor swift.....id be utterly heartbroken. and right?? harry canada exists too u know..... i had tickets to love on tour before covid but then it was cancelled and then he fully REMOVED THE SHOW when he started touring again and now the closest one is in america. sorry harry but i dont love u enough to go to america.

dressing in red and gold is so gryffindor of u. i wear a lot of green so that tracks ig.

dw cruel summer will forever be my fav scream-at-the-top-of-ur-lungs song. its just perfect. dbm simply isnt that kind of song.

omg only ch2 of cr.... i am praying for u . but dont worry its SO good. like yes its heartbreaking but so worth it. i honestly miss the earlier chapters everything was so simple </3

rome is definitely the city of piss and gladiators. i guess not much has changed since antiquity !!

when people are blocking the hall and im just done with them i usually take it upon myself to barrel through them or give them dirty looks (sorry people but i have places to be MOVEW PLEASE)

two middle names is so cool u have options. u can change it up whenever u want u know.

UNCLE MOONY :((((((((

winter <3 and yes i hate when people call it fall. like autumn is such a pretty word. fall is literally so lame . so many people call it fall here and i hate it. its autumn!!!!!!! >:(

good luck on ur chem exam !! telepathically sending all my academic energy to u rn. dont forget to channel the patron saint of academic achievement, remus lupin. AND FUCK PHYSICS!!!!!

coins are so cool. i have one from Iran from 1950 that i got in my change from kfc and its so cool. and a paddington coin??? omg thats so cute.

unicorns and phoenixes are so cool fr. & u know who to call if u ever get bit by a basilisk!

bookstore dates are ideal fr. but only if the other person likes books (but also red flag if they dont......i am not wasting my time on someone who doesnt like books)

stealing money from the bank in monopoly is so real. i used to bribe the banker whenever i got desperate and it never ended well. and yes learn chess!! its so fun and it makes u feel smart.

yes van gogh recreations! she is so cool tbh. now if only i inherited even an ounce of her artistic ability and maybe id be satisfied. and cafe terrace at night is just so pretty. so peaceful and serene. i can imagine quiet jazz playing in the street while u look up at the stars. its so pretty.

OH NOOO sorry abt ur bio exam☹️ (<-girl what the hell is that i justwanted to use an emoji.....anyways) hope ur chem exam goes better!! & bakery + taylor is very good combo. proven to cure all ails.

and omg ur so right. picking out books for each other and then annotating them??? that is SO CUTE!!!!! SO CUTE! u get me.

hozier is completely in my bones too he lives there. i wanna get a hozier tattoo someday too he consumes me fr.

i love being a sports anti!! (badminton ur on thin fucking ice. )

yes proud italian over here🇮🇹💪 i love pasta sm. and omg portuguese?? thats so cool. ive always wanted to visit portugal. ive never actually had portuguese food & i really wanna try it now.

reg is SUCH a black cat. & james absolutely sings horribly in the shower and everyone is so tired of him. sirius prob does too but remus secretly loves it <3 jily night owl-early bird has my heart fr. also the james never getting hungover hc is so funny like Yes. he would get blackout drunk and then wake up at the asscrack of dawn the next day for quidditch practice, thank u.

dorlene forever. sorry peter but those women are gay. and idk how to feel abt reg/remus. ig if its written well its not bad but it feels almost wrong. at least their ship name (moonwater i think) is kinda cute.

i agree the patronuses are quite slytherin but def also ravenclaw (i have gotten ravenclaw multiple times when i take the test so ig thats my secondary house)

luna <3 shes just so cool and i love her funky sense of style.

yes dairy queen is ice cream! but also burgers and stuff too. but theyre known for their ice cream which is so good. if u ever visit north america i recommend.

omg barrs cream soda!!!! ive had that before from a lil british food shop i found & it was so good. better than canadian cream soda for sure.

q review:

this is me trying is so real. burnt out gifted kid syndrome hits like a truck.

omg a black swan that is so cool!! mysterious and shit fr.

my tears ricochet is such a good choice (& cruel summer) it hits every damn time.

ooo shapeshifting very good choice. just think of all the places u could get into by shapeshifting, celeb a-list parties?? the oscars?? buckingham palace?? ur set for life.

messy is so valid & i hate losing socks so mcuh like actually where the fuck did they go.

omg SMARTIES!!!!! i love smarties so much. they dont have them in america and i pity them. jaffa cakes are so good too.

shakespeare is such a good choice hes so cool. to meet The genius himself would be a dream.

work song FOREVERRRR

i love these hype songs. excellent hype vibes.

SNOW!! i love making snowmen sm. its actually snowing here as i type. idk what happened to the 10degree weather but yeah.

lady macbeth and macbeth !!!!! i love this. and omg i was OBSESSED with it in 2017 like OBSESSED. lemme try and guess who's who here.....u have said lu was taller than u so were u georgie? hoping im right.

answering qs:

fuck marlene, marry lily, kill pandora. i love pandora so much but i cant pass up an opportunity with marlene. sorry pandora <3

fuck reg, marry evan, kill barty. i think im too similar to reg to wanna marry him (although he is very wealthy.....) & evan seems like good marriage material so. also killing barty bc its funny.

what i like to spend my money on: mostly clothes and jewelry. and candles sometimes. omg and books how could i forget!!

inside joke with liv: we've got this dumb little handshake we've had since literally forever that we call the bunnyfish (long story, idek how to begin explaining it) im the bunny shes the fish. ive been trying to convince her to get matching bunny and fish tattoos FOREVER but to no success. ill get there someday!!

weird fear: maybe more of an irrational fear but i cannot lean against car doors while theyre moving cause what if it opens and i fall out on to the road and die. like what if. it plagues my life fr.

weirdest dare ive ever done: tbh i cant even remember. i usually pick truth cause my friends can be EVIL and i will not subject myself to their dares. they're never creative enough with their truth questions so its always something dumb like "darkest secret" or "who do u like"

worst impulse buy: luckily nothing huge, but i impulse buy random shit like nail polish or lipstick all the time. i have yet to buy something i fully regret but im sure the day will come!

fav quote ever: AHH okay this is such a good question. my absolute fav is from anne carson's an oresteia:

“Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

something about someone wanting to take care of u even when ur at ur worst just KILLS ME. RIPS me apart.

9. fav quote from a fic: this is a basic answer but i really love that line in atyd about james having an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it. just <3 yes. i love that man so much. theres also a bunch of lines in just lovers by zar that are taken from little women that just kill me every time i read.

10. ever met a celeb: ive never spoken to any but i DID walk past seth rogen like a month ago. and i saw john mulaney with olivia munn over this past summer too it was jarring.

11. fav snack: theres this snack mix i love called humpty dumpty party mix and its SO good. (the cheese one specifically) its got mini pretzels and doritos and puffy cheetos and crunchy cheetos and these little cheesy hoop things in it and its delicious.

12. crush on anyone: (dw ur good i dont mind!) not atm! i think my standards are too high bc of fictional characters and celebs so people irl always pale in comparison. like if ur not james potter or lily evans or sirius black im not wasting my time its simple.

13. who knows me best: definitely liv. she is as much a part of me as i am of her and we can read each others minds. also my dad, im almost a carbon copy of him cause we have the same interests and sense of humour .

14. lover vs getaway car: lover. the hopeless romantic in me had to. i love getaway car but its gonna have to be lover <3

15. all time favourite moment: visiting italy and greece was a dream come true cause ive always wanted to visit since i was a little kid. since it was a school trip i was with my friends and liv ofc and i had the time of my life. seeing the parthenon irl and the colosseum in rome changed the trajectory of my life fr.

16. fav moment with liv: ive got many but one specific one thats really special to me was when i came out to her & fine line by harry styles was playing & she almost crashed the car cause she was crying (WITH HAPPINESS LOL) it was very funny. that song has a special place in my heart bc of that <3 i also love when we go for late night drives and blast music. or when when we go to the beach at sunset with a bottle of wine>>>

17. r(egg) vs r(edge): im a r(redge) truther idc. i know his name is rEGulus but i am Not calling him r(egg) it sounds like EGG!!!!! r(edge) forever.

18. languages: sadly english is the only one i fluently speak. i know some italian but im not fluent (i blame my dad, whos literally from italy but didnt fucking teach me his language. wtf man) i also know some spanish and very very minimal french. i can read basic norwegian as well(i was obsessed with SKAM in 2015 so i had to learn some) BUT in terms of reading, i can read ancient greek and a bit of latin. also aurebesh which is a writing system from star wars (massive fucking nerd alert)

qs for u!

fuck marry kill evan reg barty

fuck marry kill pandora lily marlene

how many languages do u speak?

fav gemstone/crystal/stone?

have u watched the new last of us show? (if u havent u should its SO good)

sea, forest, or mountains?

what was ur dream job when u were a kid?

whats a topic u could talk for hours about?

celeb crush(es)?

spotify or apple music? (or other if u dont use these)

fav constellation?

fav memory with lu?

whats one food u have always wanted to try?

thats all for now! if u see this before u take ur exam GOOD LUCK!!!! u got this. if u see this after i hope it went well. either way remus would be proud <3

-bee

bee beee beeeeeee !!!! <33333

“too far away from sirius to be in the picture.” fuck fuck fuck this is the cause of my DEATH. i died and this is why. (pls one day catch them in a pic together. one of us shall do this. new mission.)

I KNOW HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MILF EVER <33333 (did you see theinvisiblemuseum’s fanart of lily ???? it’s so fucking good ???) & you’re right she would’ve so loved taylor swift (can imagine her dancing to lover with james)

tay tay <333

mr perfectly fine - JEGULUS - this song is fucking jegulus after they break up and regulus is all ‘you promised. you promised. you promised’ ‘Mr. "Leaves me all alone, " I fall apart// It takes everything in me just to get up each day’ IT’S LITERALLY HIMMMM. he left and regulus fucking shattered this is the TRUTH.

message in a bottle - JEGULUS - i’m thinking a celebrity au jegulus where they like date secretly or james is a fanboy then gets famous and reg writes a track for James’s movie (??? fic idea alert) AND I’M SO YES. THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE IS SUCH A REGULUS THING TO DO , TOO . (mr rab in a locket)

last kiss - JEGULUS / WOLFSTAR - this matches perfectly for both of them - except more wolfstar because in canon i think reg would’ve definitely known that they’d have a last kiss. and remus was the one who would’ve trusted him and all that shit. (and hello?? remus would so fuckin dance for sirius this is canon?? and wear his clothes after he’s in azkaban . )

fic rec for u (did i forget last time ?? i will not do this again , ‘tis a crime) - pink lemonade by moonysbookshelff (ft jegulus wolfstar rosekiller , with ace evan , and a happy ending , and also it’s a celeb au!!)

chatting !!!!

no because i’ve heard far too much of harry’s englishman accent when he’s yelling in some speech to sit through 2hrs of that shit.

“kids look this is a souvenir pic i took many years ago from my trip to london , the city of fashion & vibes.” “that’s a fucking pigeon mom.” (not a fucking pigeon why the fucking pigeon. no please no.)

but tbh pink is my favourite colour …. but i have too many shirts and trousers that i’d lose my mind to see as pink. so no thanks , no red socks today!!

YES OMG !!! podg ben barnes = sirius & dune tim = regulus !!!! this is canon major fucking canon !!!!!!!!! (it’s the smile and the facial expressions.) AND CALLING PAUL REGULUS THAT’S A CLOSE ONE . they might’ve found out the depths of your insanity then !!

yes yes godspeed but i did medium well on it. like everyone’s yapping on about the last q on the exam which they got like ‘4.35’ and i got 190 so idk. that’s like 2 marks i lost right then and there!!!

that lady should be arrested for war crimes. it was madness i tell you, MADNESS.

taylor and 1D over jazz , but you gotta try the jazz thing at least once. at least. it feels surreal, i’m telling you. this liz sounds so fucking cool high five to us dude we won the lottery of best friends.

wdym you didn’t know it was kentucky??? was there not a fucking colonel sanders standing right there ??? COLONEL SANDERS FOR THE WIN (i love kfc!) . this what i’m saying all fields look the same i can’t fuckin differentiate.

L & E // L & B —- > best motherfucking friends you will ever find ever. got the ‘married by 40’ pact with my dude too.

wine & books & fanfic > actual romantic satisfaction. alwaysssss. (i do not like her anymore. she’s consdescending as fuck. what the fuck do u mean ‘can’t believe u dk what a processor blah blah computer shit thingy is ??’ BITCH CAN U TELL ME WHAT A FUCKING KETONE IS ???? i thought not.)

i’m so obsessed with likeafuneralls art. she’s drawn the first art of xenophilius lovegood i’ve ever seen and looking at it i was like ‘damn now i understand how pandora got locked down.’ ALRIGHT OKAY THEY’LL GO UP ON MY WALLS NOW. (you’re literally so right likeafunerall literally never misses her art is fucking ETHEREAL.)

IK IK THEY ARE . ESPECIALLY THE TIMMY AND GARY OLDMAN THING I WAS LIKE ‘SIRIUS AND REG SIRIUSANDREG.’ this like when andrew and ben barnes met (have u seen that photo pls say yes it’s life changing as fuck.)

me too i really want to go to a fuckin hozier concert i rlly think my life would be changed. like it would be.

on a slightly related note- have u seen the jesusxjudas edits??? they’re fr making me all emotional like damn jesus knew and he was all ‘fine I sacrifice myself if u kiss me u lil bitch’ . & yes i hope brutus gave him a little eye contact at the very least. like something intense.

HE IS PSYCHIC. I swear it. i love it.

i was so fuckin heartbroken it was unreal and my heart was a bunch of tosh for like three days. harry thinks only usa exists . like hello??? what abt canada ?? AHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOTS??? ENGLAND ??? LONDON??? MANCHESTER??? I don’t care about u enough to go to the usa for u (i’d only do that for ZAYN.)

we dress like our houses as we should (currently in red pjs because it’s 9:00am and my exam is at 1:30 so i don’t have to leave until like 12:30.)

cruel summer just fuckin hits right yk??? it just does it’s like i ascend to heaven . ( ‘GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL’ is my national anthem fr)

😀😀😀😀 i’m very scared now ! very ! but i shall power through because i am no stranger to pain! yay!

piss & gladiators ong. that’s such a funny sentence though fr ‘piss and gladiators’ .

next time i’ll deck them in their motherfuckin faces. not kidding. was nearly late to my exam because of them. but I’ll just give them detention because as a higher-up , i can do that! so very good!! college student gives the lil bitches in the corridors detention !! more at 7!

yessss i can switch it up. when i get lu to pick me up and i’m taking a lil too long to get ready he just full names me and i’m THERE. but ess is good for me honestly it’s all smooth and stuff.

UNCLE MOONY :((((( (*sobs*)

IT’S AUTUMN. AUTUMN . this is truth. nothing else is true but this. (winter is bae.)

AHHHHH THANK U SM !!!!!! I AM GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING THIS ENERGY OH MY GODDDD. i will challenge mr lupin through myself i will. (fuck physics !!)

just be loyal to dumpydumpster and fawkes will come through !!! (unicorns & phoenixes 5ever!!)

nah this is so real of u don’t waste ur time on non-book lovers book lovers only pls and thank u everyone else fuck off you aren’t good enough.

stealing money from the bank yesssss. hut unfortunately lu is the banker and he’s just as competitive so he will not budge AT. ALL. all right this friday i’m getting lu to teach me that’s it.

cafe terrace at night walk by with your bf/gf and hold their hand and ahhh melttttt . And jazz would so be a part of this experience i agree !!!

I AM ALSO SORRY ABOUT MY BIO EXAM. but i put something down for every q and that’s a fuckin achievement. honestly . the brownie was vv good plus a walk and taylor , solved so many of my problems honestly.

WE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE TO DO THIS WITH ISTG. annotating books with shi like ‘you’d do this’ making me cry and that.

hozier is me. i is him. we are one. imagine having a song written about u by hozier. like i’d straight up keel over and DIE.

Sports suck !! (badminton and sometimes cricket watching me . and also lu. )

AHAHA ITALIAN YESSSS. portugal is fucking amazing . there’s a little church up in portugal (sanctuary of out lady fatima) and it’s my peace place honestly . feeling so much less worry when i’m there. if u go to portugal that is a must!!! AND so is algarve. algarve is also home <333 I miss it now :) THE FOOD IS AMAZING , YESSS!!! you must try pastel de nata !!! (egg custard tarts!!!) i really love them they’re so fucking good.

REG AS A BLACK CAT IS THE ONLY HC THAT MATTERS HONESTLY. I love it so so much. and james as a horrible shower singer ???? canon fr. (i adore jily night owl/early bird so fucking much it’s like a release i adore it so much they had that for a little while at least!) JAMES HAS MAGICAL POWERS FR FR !!!! i wish i had them too damn me with headaches and shit.

yes they’re lesbians if i’ve ever seen them. and moonWATER???? that’s fucking HARSH ??? (i’d read a oneshot maybe. maybe.)

my secondary house is slytherin !!! and oh my god that’s literally so cool i just have the one patronus!!

luna luna luna i’m just as sane as her she gets me fr.

I’m literally so jealous of so many American restaurants. i want dairy queen now damn. if i ever come there i will go to dairy queen and i’m very excited for that.

barrs cream soda is literally bae it’s so good (though it used to be 39p and now it’s 59p ???? rip off asf but i’d still buy it )

i’m an ex-gifted kid now try-hard

IK IT IS MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK

mtr kills me . i’m in a battlefield every time i hear that song fr. (cruel summer is a close second <33)

one second i am timmy tim at the oscars next i am one of the queen’s corgis!!!!! the opportunities are endless

they went into the fucking vacuum of the earth or something where else WHY DOES IT HAPPEN. WHY DO YOU GO. STAY???

smarties and jaffa cakes >>> shitty american chocolate

it would be a dream. I have so many questions and he’s the only one who could ever answer that.

work song. work song. work song.

THEY GET ME ALL BOPPING WHILE I’M GETTING DRESSED AND STUFF.

it’s SNOWING??? lucky asf tell me if it’s enough for a snowman at the very least.

WE THOUGHT WE WERE SO SMART BECAUSE WE KNOW MACBETH BY HEART having studied it and all!! (AND I KNEW YOU’D GUESS THAT. i was it & he was georgie and that’s what was so funny because he’s taller so him wearing a yellow raincoat and with the red balloon and stuff it was so funny. and i was the creepy fucking clown but he was still funnier because imagine a tall blonde georgie like DAMN. )

reviewing q’s -

marlene would treat you right. I just know she would.

marry him for the money!!! marrying evan is a good choice too though (killing barty for the win!!!)

clothes and books and candles and jewellery YESSS GIRL AS YOU SHOULD JAZZ YOURSELF UP.

liv better step up and get that tattoo. you guys are the bunnyfish it’s practically illegal not to get that tattoo.

no same honestly i’m a second away from my death i could be rolling on the ground and die in a few second fr you’re so valid for this.

picking truth forever yessss >>>> (i’ve picked dare but i’m playing with lu so it’s always stuff like ‘i dare u to eat a spoonful of ketchup’ like damb boy you can do better.)

i buy nail polish and lipstick from poundland and primark all the time. literally it’s an addiction because i think buying them for a pound is a good deal . but then i buy like 20 of them and suddenly i’m a hoarder. (special mention to my buys of the royal butter and the toblerone!)

THIS QUOTE. OH MY GOD THIS QUOTE THIS QUOTE . killing me opening me helaing me and killing me. someone loving u like this is all u fucking need fr >>>

james potter has an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match. mskingbean knew what she was doing fr . I LIVE FOR LITTLE WOMEN REFERENCES IN FICS OMG I’M ACTUALLY WRITING ONE AS WE SPEAK.

i’ve never met a celebrity so that’s annoying. wlaking past seth rogen??? so casually??? i’d be screaming and stuff. seeing john mulaney and olivia munn must be jarring actually. i’m jarred rn. like wdym they sit around eating lunch like me??

this sounds so funny ‘humpty dumpty party mix’ dying dead. but also i want to eat it sounds really fucking good and such a range of cuisine in there seriously.

no this is so real of u. I don’t crush on anyone except for fictional characters who real humans will never ever live up to.

ahhhhhhhhh liv knowing you bestttt that’s peak platonic soulmatism!!!! (your dad sounds so cool 2 fr) i get that sm because lu knows me best and that’s honestly peak knowing someone that well .

lover’s my first dance song, but it depends on what mood i’m in. sometimes i need to feel like a criminal, and at that point it’s getaway car. but rn it’s lover. in a very lover mood atm.

AHHHHH OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL AHHHHHHHHH SEEING THE PARTHENON??? I wanna see it too DAMN.

coming out while driving yesssss because they have to keep driving. (And to Harry styles??? double cool??) for me it was lu that figured it out . he was like damn you a bisexual. (obviously more deep but this is very much the gist of it) LONG DRIVES WITH MUSIC AND WINE AND SUNSET OH MY GODDDDDDD . DREAM.

u chose the right answer. like idc as a brit , which is where regulus is from , i say r(edge) so it’s redge. DONE. (although if anyone else says it it doesn’t matter ALL that much. )

listen i watched friends and i think ‘va fa a napoli’ is a swear ??? confirmation pls ??? I TRIED TO LEARN SWEDISH FOR THIS EXACT REASON OMG. because i was obsessed with young royals but i only did one lesson. my brain said no! i did 6 years of french , have a french fluent best friend and still can’t speak it properly. such a pain honestly. (that’s such a cute lil nerdy thing to do tho damn girl u get that excited???? go learn your star wars language YES DO IT!!!) (AHHH U CAN READ ANCIENT GREEK ??? MA’AM THAT’S SO COOL.)

q’s for me —->

fuck evan marry reg kill barty. i am a gold digger. that’s all. and barty because he did stuff to alive and frank and if it comes to choosing i shall bring that up unfortunately .

marry lily fuck marlene kill pandora (sorry pandora sorry u don’t deserve it) lily evans is WIFEY. she is wife she is mother i am hers and she is mine. love her.

My time to shine as a polyglot.

portuguese

gujrati

hindi

urdu

marathi

bsl

i am fluent in all of the above but i also speak punjabi a lil and also know braille english , but apparently that’s not a language so i can’t use it.

4. topaz cool as shit. so topaz , but also obsidian and amethyst (birthstone alert!!)

5. i have not ! however I saw a quote of it on my dash (‘you were my purpose’) so now i will watch it !! very excited for it !!!

6. forest. could be lovely there with picnics and shit. i’ve had a forest picnic and i’ve been fine so forest. not sea because i won’t betray reg , and not mountains because i cannot climb !!!

7. weirdly enough a hairdresser 💀💀💀 wtf was up in my head??? i used to think the cutting and dyeing hair was so cool and i really wanted to do it until i was like 9. then i got some sense knocked into me.

8. cancer 💀💀i did my epq (which is like a dissertation of sorts) on this and i still remember everything and honestly it’s so sad and so much but i could talk about it for ages. BUT ON A HAPPIER NOTE !!! I COULD TALK ABOUT PLATONIC SOULMATISM FOR HOURS !!!!!! HOW A FRIEND LIEK THAT IS SO SO IMPORTANT THAN HAVING A BILLION FRIENDS WHO WON’T EVEN KNOWN YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR !!!!

9. timothée chalamet & louis partridge ( i love timmy for obvious reasons & i could so treat louis better than his grandma ass girlfriend come here bb) ALSO FLORENCE AND ZENDAYA (but I don’t want tom to bite my thumb off for simping after his gf)

10.APPLE MUSIC !!!!! APPLE MUSIC FOREVER AND EVER ARE YOU KIDDING ???? dolby atmos just does somrthing to my ears.

11.canis major !!! very sirius of me but canis major !!! love it and i can tell which star is sirius right away. but draco is a close second !!!

12.well u know about the dancing jazz . so i’ll pick another one (hard to choose damn) i took him with me to a wedding as my date (fake of course because of the family asking do u have a bf yet do u have a bf yet) and he was the white boy there and he was wearing a tux and he was so innocent and everything he ate was so spicy he nearly cried but he powered through and when he came out on the dance floor he DID THE DANCE BETTER THAN ME???? how dare he??????? and he was so nice to all my family who kept calling him ‘gora’ (white boy) even though he fully knew what that meant . like he did all that and he bought a toaster to gift to them as well. it was something else and i will always remember that. BUT ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING COMING UP SOON (start of march) AND I’M TAKING HIM AS MY FAKE DATE AGAIN !!!! hoping he’s built his spice tolerance up , but i shall update u soon on whether he has or not.

13. i really fucking want wingstop. like so badly. I would fly to the us for that shit i just WANT ONE CHOMP ON THAT STUFF. it looks so fucking good and life changing like damn come in my mouth bb. And also birria tacos. i need to try that asap it looks so good i could cry.

q’s for u -

something u could talk about for hours?

worst advice you’ve ever given?

worst advice you’ve ever taken?

if u were a periodic table element which one would u be ?

what’s your undercover spy name ?

do you prefer savoury or sweet?

Who’s your favourite friend (from the tv show)?

3 wishes ??

how long are u surviving in a zombie apocalypse?

favourite stone ?

fave constellation ?

weirdest dream ?

worst dream?

best dream ?

timothée chalamet or ben barnes ?

things u eat at the movies ?

last text you sent?

last text you got ?

phone calls or text messages ?

what greek tragedy hero are u ? (this is a quiz & i got orpheus !)

And what’s your favourite meme ? I must know this?

(beeeeee beeee thank u for being such a lovely human !!! come back soon !!! i will miss u and i’m seeing this before the exam , so i’m chanelling all my remus Lupin energy into this. thank u for the luck , i wish u luck in life <3333 come back soon dont be too long !!! )

[wernher-von-brawny]

Listen, yes… this was one of three movies made under an international production deal between Rankin/Bass, the folks who made the stop-motion Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer special, and Tsuburaya Productions, who made Ultraman.

Saw this as a kid and it has never left my brain.

The monster is ridiculous -- in that fun, slow-motion, kaiju suit way -- but underneath is a metaphor for the passing of the era of the Ernest Hemingway/John Wayne type hero.

A way deeper theme than, say, the King Kong remake from the previous year, and one that's perhaps relevant again, with folks like Trump and Musk, et al. trying to revive the old masculinity and reassert its dominance.

in case you didn't catch it, the title The Last Dinosaur refers to both the monster, and the millionaire industrialist big-game hunter. I was probably 11 when I saw this, and grokking this double entendre wrinkled my prepubescent brain.

Plus, it has a title song sung by Ann Wilson of Heart that slaps 1701% harder than a production like this should ever warrant. Like, Shirley Bassey stopped singing Goldfinger to tell Ann she need not go this hard.

It a glorious mess of a B-movie, dripping in late-70s made-for-TV swagger -- Richard Boone makes a meal of every second onscreen -- and is probably still more entertaining that 85% of what's on YouTube.

Also recommended is the second better-than-it-needed-to-be TV B-movie made by Rankin/Bass-Tsuburaya: The Bermuda Depths, a gothic love story between a young orphan boy, a cursed sea-witch, and their pet giant kaiju turtle.

Again, wrinkled my prepubescent brain, and it's entirely possible I never married because I've been forever pining after Jennie Hannover. I wish I were joking.

Plus, another fantastic opening song, entitled Jennie. Don't know the dude who sang it, but if you asked Siri what a Harlequin romance novel sounds like, this is what she'd play you.

Seriously, this and the previous track are so well done that I have had them in my local music library since the dawn of MP3s. Not enough dollaridoos in the equation for them to appear on Spotify or Tidal, tho. 😢

Burl Ives, Carl Weathers, Connie Sellica -- if you're my age, these names alone may pique your curiosity enough to give it a look. And if you're a Young, then consider it recommended. IDK, maybe you can get a group watch live stream out of it or something, even tho I'm sure someone must have already done that.

This production partnership also made one more movie together, called The Albino Ape. Never seen it, and it doesn't sound like I missed much.

But as for these other two? Like, Denis Villeneuve ain't losing sleep over them, but there's an aesthetic incongruity in the mash-up between American and Japanese TV production that makes them pretty unique in media.

And there's enough really good shit in the raw materials that I could see modern remakes being fucking amazing.

Guillermo del Toro is the obvious choice for the Bermuda Depths, but I'd be fascinated to see what Pedro Almodovar or Bryce Dallas Howard would do with it.

As for The Last Dinosaur, first thought is to have Tarantino write and Roberto Rodriguez direct. Someone who can balance the take-down of toxic masculinity while still capturing the wistful sadness of the passing of a monstrous yet amazing beast that has outlived its time in history.

If not, well, the way AI is going maybe I'll live long enough to just have Stable Diffusion 2030 generate the remake for me.

The Last Dinosaur | 1977 — 極底探険船ポーラーボーラ

[saltandlimes]

Wip list Jan 2018

Wow it’s been a long time since I did one if these! The total anticipated length is next to the fic. Things bolded are top priority.

Kylux

Omega/omega modern au (oneshot)

Post tlj angst (oneshot)

Paranormal investigators au (longish oneshot)

Valentines fic

Thorki

Post TDW/ragnarok fic (2 chapters)

Loki was brought up to be Thor’s advisor/dark!Thor fic (3 chapters)

Pre-canon enchanted forest fic (7 chapters)

Urban fantasy fic (7 chapters)

Super dark Loki (oneshot)

Lovecraftian fic

Original fiction

The honeysuckle tree (thriller, 15 chapters)

North End (1930s crime drama, currently 20k, going to be expanded to 80k)

[dokoni-mo]

Mortal Shenanigans || Khonshu x GN! Reader

summary: you have a night out.

SFW // fluff

word count: 5008

warnings: fluff, cursing, mentions of canon-typical violence, post-canon, mentions of marc, steven and jake (they do not make an appearance), khonshu struggles with human emotion sometimes and gets frustrated a bit easily but we love him for it, established relationship, khonshu also has a really big ego but thats just common knowledge, non-violent usage of knives

disclaimer: i do not have DID myself, so if i wrote anything incorrectly as it pertains to the mentions of marc, steven and jake I apologize, i just tried to stay as close to canon as possible

a/n: wow its been FOREVER since ive written for a different fandom,,, look look ik what yall are thinking: really? the bird man?? well YES the bird man if i can simp for the worst evil dilf in the galaxy i can simp for the bird man too (he's also my comfort character and ive been struggling with some anxiety/more insomnia recently so ffkadfjkdlf i just need this one okay??),, anyways taglist open!! enjoy!!

~~~

Every time you looked at Khonshu, you could only wonder one thing. Why didn't he give himself any hair?

You had been with the god for years now. Long before either Marc, Steven, or Jake was his avatar. You knew him. You knew that he was full of pride. The god took great pride in the "vengeance" he sought on those who have done wrong. He took pride in his Moon Knight; even if he had to jump through some hoops to get one. Khonshu almost never admitted he was wrong. And even more rarely, he would apologize for being wrong. You had to give him the silent treatment for days for him to do that.

Which is why his lack of hair puzzled you greatly.

Although he wasn't very forward about it, you knew Khonshu also took great pride in his appearance. Hell, it ate him up for weeks when Ammit had said that time had not been kind to him. He had tailored his physical form to perfectly fit the description of God of the Moon. He liked to be handsome, in his own weird, oddly specific way. You loved him for it, along with a great deal of many other reasons, but why. Why didn't he include hair?

All the other Gods you had met had hair. Ammit did. Taweret did. So why not him? If he did it right, it might suit him. Something long, with lots of braids and charms. But also kept tidy, to suit how particular he was about things.

You knew he could do it. Have hair, that is. With one wave of a linen-wrapped hand, he could have all the hair in the world if he wanted to. It would look nice. So why not?

These questions were asked over and over inside of your mind that night. It was Sunday, which meant Khonshu relieved Jake of any moon-knighting so that he could spend time with you. While the god was passionate about protecting the travelers of the night, and carrying out his own form of justice, he was moreso passionate about you. He missed you deeply during the leading days to Sunday. He knew of your longing for him as well. So, he took Sundays very seriously.

You were lain on the couch of your flat, your legs resting in the lap of the hawk-headed deity. Khonshu's staff was leaned against the wall next to him, one hand on the side of your thigh whilst the other idly drew patterns into your shin. His skull was pointed at your television, which was displaying some over-the-top reality series you had found on Netflix not long ago. Khonshu grumbled over and over again how such "trash entertainment" was beneath both you and him, but you saw how interested he was in it. You knew it was just more than curiosity when he asked if a new episode had dropped. How he seemed disappointed when you scrolled past it when looking for better things.

Typical Khonshu.

But because his attention was somewhere else, the deity didn't notice how you had been staring at him for the past twenty minutes. You had been taking in every single one of his features, trying your best to picture in your minds eye just what kind of hairstyle would suit him. Even after days of scrolling on Pinterest, you had failed time and time again to find the perfect look for him. It was up to you now to create it. Yet still, you wondered...

"Khon?" you squeaked out, having to clear your throat after not talking for so long.

Not looking away from the TV screen, your bird-headed lover answered you, "Yes, my moonstone?"

"Why don't you have any hair?"

Your question certainly got the god's attention now. Out of all the things he had expected you to say, you could tell that certainly wasn't one of them. It surprised the bird-man enough to rip his gaze away from the TV, and make him stop rubbing those small, loving circles into your leg as he looked down at your inquisitive face.

"Hair?" he asked.

"Yeah, hair." you responded, "All the other gods seemed to have it. Why don't you? And those little string things back there don't count."

It took him a second to answer you, thinking of what to say, "I... have never seen a purpose to have it, I suppose."

You laughed, "You don't need a reason to have hair. You can have it just to look nice."

"Look nice?"

"Yeah, like how some people use it to express themselves. Remember the other day? When we saw that person with the yellow mohawk? That was them expressing themselves."

"Are you suggesting I get a yellow mohawk?"

You laughed again, "No, no! I'm just saying it might look good on you."

The god thought to himself for a moment again, letting out a hmm as you saw the gears beginning to turn inside of his skull.

"I don't think I agree with you, little one." He said.

"Whaaaat?" you groaned, sitting yourself up to get a better look at your lover next to you, your legs still in his lap, "Why not?"

Khonshu leaned the end his beak down to tap against your cheek at your protests, his own way of kissing you to wash away your exasperation, "I am the God of the Night Sky, my little mortal. I have put great effort in to how I look now. Hair would not suit me in the slightest, nor would serve any purpose. Your suggestion is adorable, however, my star."

You half-smiled and rolled your eyes at his comments, not in the mood to give up so quickly.

"Okay but have you even tried having hair before?" you asked, "You can't say it won't suit you until you've tried it."

"I don't need to try it. I just know it wouldn't."

"Well can I see? To make sure? Just like, just something you think would look good."

"It doesn't work like that, little one."

Feeling defeated, you let out a groan as you leaned back against the chair, lying down again as you stretched your hands out behind you. Reaching down to your face, Khonshu used his thin, linen-wrapped fingers to brush the hair away from your eyes, trailing them down to cup your face; his palm taking up nearly the entire expanse of the side of your head. Feeling his comforting touch, you leaned your cheek against it as you looked into the sockets of his skull.

"Your suggestions are always welcome with me, my sweet, but this is one that I cannot accept. I do hope you understand." The deity said to you, rubbing his long thumb lovingly against your smaller cheek.

"I just don't understand why you won't even try." you said, "It sounds like you're just being stubborn again, bird-brain."

"I am not stubborn. I just know what is best."

This warranted another laugh out of you, along with a swift kiss pressed against the hawk-headed god's palm. This was definitely typical Khonshu. You half-expected your schemed conversation to go in such a way, so you found it hard to be angry at the god's lack of adventure. He was never really one to try new things much anyway. Not unless he was given a push. You knew this. After years of being by Khonshu's side, you knew everything about how he operated. Which is why you felt comfortable shifting your scheme from plan A to plan B.

Pressing one more kiss into your lover's palm, you sat up and pivoted on your butt so that your legs were out of the hawk-headed god's lap. Your feet now firmly on the floor, you paused the show on the TV as you pushed yourself up from off of the couch. You could feel Khonshu's gaze on you as you bustled your way over to the doorway of your flat. Taking it off of the hooks, you shrugged on the old coat that Marc had left behind from his last visit onto your shoulders. Bending down, you begun to slip into your shoes as the god on the couch decided to chime in.

"What are you doing, little one?" He asked you, skull tilted slightly to the side.

"Going out." you said, a small smirk on your features.

"Out?" he interrogated, "For what purpose?"

After slipping on both shoes, you stood up straight again as you grabbed your keys off of the hook.

"Well," you said, "I'm not giving up on my suggestion yet. And if you're not willing to show me some hair up on that thick skull of yours, then i'm going out to get the next best thing."

Khonshu was standing now, his staff placed firmly in his hand as he looked to you.

"(Y/N), this is absurd."

You giggled, "No Khon, what's absurd is that I'm about to make myself a traveler of the night, and you're not gonna be there to protect me."

~~~

In order to avoid weird stares from the other people that walked the streets of London, Khonshu and you had agreed long ago to not hold hands in public. No one out there other than you could see him, but they could see you clear as day. It would draw a lot of unnecessary attention to you if you were constantly seen holding hands with nothing. So, for subtlety, and to allow at least some PDA between the two of you, you and Khonshu agreed to hold pinkies instead. Something subtle, but still loving and intimate all the same. It was one of the few things you didn't have to pester the deity so much about until he finally agreed. Silly old bird.

The streets of London at night were almost -- if not just as -- lively as they were in the daytime. In the light of the full moon above, along with accompanying streetlights, you saw how all the people around you seemed to be enjoying themselves as you walked along the sidewalk, pinky held firmly in Khonshu's. There were many younger people out that hour of the night, walking along and laughing with one another like they were the only people in the world. When a group would pass by you, you would see how they payed no mind the tall bird god next to you, phasing through him like it was nothing. Granted, you were the only one that could see him, but it was still amusing nonetheless. Sometimes, the person would turn around briefly to see where the sudden change of temperature in the air came from. Them being unable to see Khonshu, they would just stare by your side with a furrowed brow, making you giggle softly to yourself every time it happened.

Usually, Khonshu would chuckle along with you. However, that evening, he didn't do so. Not even once. Staff held firmly in the hand that wasn't busy with yours, he stared straight ahead without a word as he trudged alongside you. He was grumpy about your little plan. He was throwing another one of his tantrums. You would never call it a tantrum to his face, though. You weren't that mean.

At least he wasn't teleporting around this time, and still wanted to hold your pinky. A change from the other tantrums he threw.

When the fifth drunk person of the night phased through him, he had let out a grumble of disapproval. You saw how he gripped onto his long, tall staff even firmer, and shot a warm smile up at the deity.

"Don't be so grumpy." you said to him, not bothering to keep your voice low so you don't get stares (since most people seemed to be minding their own business, at least for now), "A night out is a nice change of pace anyway. As much as I love and appreciate you setting aside a day for us, you can't keep me cooped up in my flat forever, Khon. We should get out and do more. And that doesn't include riding around with Jake."

The tall bird next to you let out another disapproving rumble, "I prefer to spend Sundays inside with you, (Y/N). I know you are aware of this."

"I am aware of that. But come on, it'll be fun! Just give it a shot. One night out isn't gonna kill you."

"We seem to have differing tastes in fun, little bug."

"Ohhh, I don't think so. Remember all that time we spent together? In Cairo? Before you found Marc in the desert?" you asked teasingly, bumping up against his arm to emphasize your point.

Khonshu let out another hum at this as he recalled all of those old, fond memories, though more pleased-sounding than the last as he leaned down to press the tip of his beak against the side of your cheek, "How could I ever forget?"

You giggled, "Exactly. And that was pretty fun, huh? So trust me when I say this will be fun too."

The god next to you looked down at you without a word. You could practically feel the gears turning in his skull, trying over and over again to come up with some sort of snobbish remark to emphasize his distaste for your little scheme. Try as he might, however, Khonshu could come up with nothing. For months now, you and him had spend Sundays indoors. As much as he did love just having you near him, holding you on the couch as some dumb form of entertainment played out before him, he did have to admit. He was getting a little bored with it. He could tell that you were bored of it too. Even if you had never complained about it before, he could see it in those eyes of yours. It made him feel a little bad. And a walk under his moon did always liven his spirits. He loved seeing the moonlight on your skin, anyhow.

So perhaps you were right about this. Even though going to such lengths to see him with hair was still absurd to him (although he realized that this was probably just some sort of excuse for you to get him and yourself out of the flat), Khonshu found himself not being able to hate the idea of a night out with you. His sweet little mortal. His one true love.

Returning his gaze to the road ahead of the pair of you, Khonshu straightened his posture as he held your pinky tighter, angling his beak to point more upright and poised.

"Very well. But only for tonight, little one." he said.

You let out a laugh as you returned your gaze to the sidewalk, "Fair enough."

Typical Khonshu.

~~~

The shop you had stopped at was one of the ones you used to frequent in your youth. It was a typical children's store; full of games, toys, and sweets to make any child drag their guardian by the wrist in through the doors, whining and begging all the while. It was a quaint little thing, even just from the view from the windows outside. Perfect for any child.

Which is why Khonshu was terribly confused when you had dragged him all the way there. He wasn't a child. He was a god. Had you forgotten?

Because the deity was too big to fit inside without being prone to accidentally knocking something over (but mostly because he claimed he didn't want to deal with such "foolishness"), he resided himself to staying outside. He watched you through the windows of the store, holding on to his staff firmly with hunched, irritated shoulders. You were sure taking your sweet time in there. He knew that you knew exactly what you were doing; making the god of the night sky wait out in the cold, damp streets of London as you perused through the aisles of the small store.

"Just wait out here," you had said to him, "I'll be back in a second."

That was twenty minutes ago now. Khonshu liked to consider himself a patient god. Unlike some of his brothers and sisters, as well as other members of the ennead, he had much more to give when it came to mortal behavior. It was a trait acquired over time, through countless years of worship and praise directed towards him and his moon and stars, as well as all the knights he had taken as his own. Hell, he figured that his patience had to have grown ten-fold over the years, since he had put up with that worm Steven Grant so long without killing him. And when it came to you, he had even more of a fuse to give.

However, Khonshu had never been one to simply sit around in the face of such shenanigans. This whole idea was ludicrous to him. He didn't even want hair.

The god grumbled to himself as the travelers of the night passed by him, laughing and shooting-the-shit amongst themselves without a care in the world.

You were lucky he loved you. Otherwise you would've been put on the short-list to feel his wrath.

After twenty-five minutes had passed, Khonshu had begun to consider going inside the store to fetch you. He knew you hated to be rushed, but right then, he probably hated waiting even more. A reprimand from you would be bliss compared to agonizingly waiting for your return. Khonshu was seriously considering it, weighing his options on an imaginary scale.

As if it was on cue, you had finally exited the shop. The god first noticed the comically large amount of bags that you had hugged close to your chest, held snug inside of the confine your arms. You had situated them all in such a way that they were nestled more-or-less in the crooks of your elbows, so that your hands were free. In your left hand, however, you held a sheer, small white paper bag. The bag was full of what appeared to be some sort of small pastry, and you used your right had to break off pieces of it to fit into your mouth. With a small smile on your face as you chewed, you crossed the street over to the disgruntled bird-man, noticing how his linen-wrapped shoulders were hunched as you found your place in front of him.

"What on earth took you so long, little bug?" The bird-man questioned, softly gesturing to your person with his staff, "And what are all those?"

You breathed out a giggle in response, finishing the bite you had took before you spoke.

"I saw a few cute things that I wanted." You said.

"A few?" Khonshu questioned.

"Yeah a few, things there are cheap! I know the owner so I get a good discount. Don't worry, I got your present too, Khon."

You reached in the small white bag and broke off another piece of the pastry, tilting its opening up at the god of the moon.

"Croissant?" you asked.

Even though Khonshu didn't have eyes, you could tell in his unamused silence that he had looked to you, then the pastry, then back to you again.

"No, thank you." he said.

Letting out another amused giggle, you briefly stood on your tip-toes and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of the god's beak, seeing how he relaxed just a tad at your display of affection.

"Come on, let's find a place for you to open your gift." you said to him, hugging the bags closer to your chest as you took another bite of your snack. Resuming your trudge down the sidewalk, Khonshu lingered behind for a brief moment, staring at the back of your head in silence. Khonshu was never one to be speechless. Everyone that had ever come across him knew this. The god of the night sky was a being of many, seemingly endless words.

But you never failed to leave him scrambling for what to say.

Sighing to himself, Khonshu repositioned his grip on his staff as he followed behind you, his long strides making him quick to meet his place by your side again. He glanced down to your height, watching as you absent-mindedly rummaged through your bag for any remaining bits of the pastry. As if you didn't have a care in the world. Nor as if you were phased in the slightest to have a literal god by your side.

Khonshu reached his hand down to you, giving you a gentle, loving caress to the small of your back.

You were lucky he loved you. But he felt equally as lucky to be loved by you.

~~~

The place you had picked out to settle down and open Khonshu's present was a spot you and Marc liked to visit when he first came to London. When Khonshu wasn't busy making him moon-knight, and he would spare himself a brief moment of relaxation, Marc liked to spend it someplace calm. Somewhere out in nature, where he could just get lost in the scenery around him and forget about his troubles, and ignore the constant squawking of the god over his shoulder. You remembered how many petty arguments you had to break up between the two of them. How many times you had to act as the middle-man when they refused to speak to one another.

They were fond memories of yours, and dumb as they were. Marc, Steven and Jake were your favorite moon knights so far, after all. They were your friends.

The dock was a place that was hard to find and hard to get to, making it the perfect spot for if you wanted to be alone. Having memorized everything about the path down there, it wasn't hard for you to make the journey with so many bags in your grasp. And, with the added help of your bird-ish lover balancing you whenever you needed, the trudge down was a piece of cake. Sure enough, the old, worn-down dock was empty, and the gentle sound of the waves of the harbor lapping against the wood was the only sound hung in the hair. The water was a dark, rich black, with the reflection of the large, shining full moon overhead glistening across its surface. This gave you just enough light to see what you were doing as you made your way to the edge of the dock, sitting down with your legs dangling a few feet above the water's surface.

Your lover sat next to you, setting is staff down behind him so that he could have his full attention on you and your present. Your bags were scattered all around your personal space now, but just far enough away so that they wouldn't interfere. All except one, of course, which held the present you had in store for the god.

"Trust me, Khon," you said, sliding the bag off of your lap and into his, "once you see this, you're gonna wish you had thought of having hair sooner."

The bird gave you a look before lowering his hands down to the bag, gentle and unsure with his movements. You could feel the skepticism pouring off of him, but you just simply looked at him with a smile as he opened the gift.

After some fiddling with the paper of the bag, Khonshu was able to free his gift from its confines. The plastic crinkling around his fingers, the god lifted up a small, square plastic bag. Inside of the bag there seemed to be some sort of dead animal. It was some kind of strange looking brown, stringy, somewhat curly pile of hair, totally synthetic in the way it shone in the light of Khonshu's moon. Upon further inspection, however, Khonshu realized that it wasn't a dead animal.

It was a wig.

The package held in his grasp, Khonshu turned his beak to look down at you again, only to be greeted with your giddy smile back up at him.

"Soooo?" you questioned, "What do you think?"

It took the deity a moment to respond to you.

"My stardust," he said, "it's... I am amused at the lengths you will take to get your way, darling."

You rolled your eyes with a playful scoff, "Khonshu, please! I can tell you don't like it!"

"I am most grateful for any offerings you wish to give me, moonstone. However, this one just seems quite... synthetic."

"Yeah, well duhhh," you said in response, gently taking the package out of the god's hands, "I can't really afford a real wig. Those things can be, like, hundreds of dollars."

Khonshu seemed a bit taken aback by that, "Hundreds?"

"Yeah, hundreds." you said in response, opening up the plastic as it crinkled and crunched in your hands, "I love you, Khon, but I'm not made of money."

The god let out a low hum, "If it is wealth you desire, my sweet, then I shall have Jake obtain it for you. You need only ask, and anything you desire shall be yours."

You giggled at your lover's sentiments, taking the cheap, synthetic wig out of the package and brushing it through with your fingers, "Come on, you know I'm not in to all that. I like just being normal. With my dingy flat and stubborn, bird-brained, god of the moon partner."

Once you felt like you had sufficiently combed through the wig, you lifted it up in front of you, using one of your hands as a make-shift stand so that you could see what it fully looked like. The thing was obviously fake material, with many frayed, jarring locks of hair jutting out in every which way. The item just barely resembled that of a medium-length, layered wolf cut, along with what seemed to be a few locks that were trying to be bangs. Even in the dim light of the moon above, you could tell that even though the wig was fresh out of the package, it had seen better days.

"Look, Khon!" you said, using your other hand in vain attempt to try and smooth some of the hair down, "These hairstyles are super trendy right now. You'll be, like, with the times and all that. Jake is gonna be floored when he sees you."

The god let out another hum, "I agree with you, little one. But I think we disagree on just why he will be floored."

You rolled your eyes playfully at Khonshu's remark, "I don't think it's gonna fit your head, though. Your skull is too fat. Hold on."

Before Khonshu could could protest at the characterization of his skull, he watched as you set the wig down on your lap, keeping it steady as your hands groped around the pockets of the jacket you wore. After checking almost all of the pockets, you let out a quiet aha as you found what you were looking for. Fumbling with the fabric, you pulled out a small, metallic sort of thing. Pushing the button on the side, it was revealed to be one of Marc's emergency knives he had tucked away in his coat for safe keeping. Keeping your hands steady, you angled the knife down at the wig in your lap. Carefully, such that you wouldn't lose your grip and accidentally cut yourself, you begun to cut away at some of the inside bits of the wig. Your jaw was clenched in concentration as Khonshu watched.

"What are you doing now?" he asked, the smallest hint of loving exhaustion in his low, rumbling voice.

"I'm trynna make this bigger," you said, "So that it'll fit your fat head."

The moon god's back stiffened at your words, long, proud beak dipping ever so slightly to one side.

"I do not have a fat head!" he exclaimed, his temper poking through making you giggle again.

"Well, maybe not to you," you said, "But compared to the size of a normal human's head, it's quite fat. Now be quiet so I can focus."

Without another word, Khonshu scoffed and looked away from you out to the moon's reflection on the water's surface, grumbling to himself some nonsense you couldn't understand. Likely in Egyptian. He often did that when he knew you were right, but didn't want to admit it out loud. The bird was just lucky none of his brothers and sisters were around to hear him be reprimanded by a mere mortal. Khonshu loved you greatly, he really did. You were one of the few he had ever been willing to put up with for such a long time.

But he was still a god. He often wondered if you forgot that part.

But he loved you enough to overlook it.

After a little longer of you cutting up the wig to make it fit, you had put down Marc's knife to admire your work. You had done a fairly good job; the wig was now wide enough to where it seemed like it would fit on Khonshu's fat head. The god would never say it out loud in order to preserve his pride, but he thought you did a good job as well. He guessed that you were more serious about this whole ordeal than he had originally thought you had been.

"Okay!" you said, "It's done! Are you ready to try it on?"

The moon deity let another disapproving rumble out from inside his chest, "Do I have to?"

"Yes." you responded matter-of-factly, pushing yourself up onto your feet.

Even whilst sitting down, Khonshu was still a fair amount taller than you were. You had to stand on your tip-toes in order to securely reach the top of his skull. Draping the synthetic mess of hair upon his head, he tried to keep very still so that it wouldn't fall off, and you would have to repeat the process all over (as tempting as discarding the infernal garment into the water below was to him). Once it was properly balanced up there, you used for fingers to try and style it as best you could. You knew he would like it more if it were at least passably good-looking.

Combing the plastic strands with your fingers one last time, you lowered yourself back flat on your feet and took a few steps away, trying to get a good look at your lover with his new head of hair. As you backed away, the god lifted up his beak again to stare ahead at you without a word.

Admittedly, you thought the color you chose did suit him. But, in every other way, it was ridiculous.

You could only go a few seconds without busting out in an amused, hearty laugh.

"Oh my god!" you said in between your giggles, "You look like you ripped the hair right off of some pop-star's head!"

Khonshu grumbled to himself again, "I knew this was a mistake."

Wiping away a few laughing-induced tears from the corners of your eyes, you shook your head, "No, no! It's not... terrible looking! It's just really jarring. I'm used to you being bald."

"There is no need to lie, moonstone."

"I'm not lying! I think it would look good if we got you a real wig!"

Reaching in your back pocket, you pulled out your phone and held it up to the god, using its black reflection as a make-shift mirror for him.

"See?" You asked, "It's not the worst thing in the world. Wish I could take a picture of you, though. To show Jake."

Peering down at his reflection in the tiny screen of your phone, Khonshu remained silent as he studied his reflection. You were right in the sense that him having any sort of hair was, in fact, jarring. His appearance hadn't changed in many hundreds of years, so it was odd to see him with a full head of scraggly, unkempt hair. Looking at himself longer, he decided that he still did not agree with you. Trying to picture himself with a better wig, he found that he didn't like the improvement much more either. He was fine with how he looked. As long as you and him thought he was handsome, he didn't feel any need to change. Hair was more of his sibling's thing, anyway.

"It is not totally dreadful, little one," he said to you, looking back to your face, "but I still do not care for it."

You let out a half-defeated sigh as you slipped your phone back into your pocket, a smile still lingering on your features, "Well, it was still worth a shot. I thought it wasn't that bad. Here, come on. I'll help you take it off."

Eager to rid himself of the itchy synthetic thing on his head, Khonshu leaned himself downwards. Still having to stand on your tip-toes, you slid the wig off of the god's skull, moving to discard of it after it had come loose. Khonshu shook himself off just a tad to get rid of any lingering scratchy-ness left behind by the wig as you set it inside of one of your bags, stretching out his shoulders after having to remain still for so long.

Once you were finished, you took a few steps back over to the god, leaning up to press a quick, warm kiss just underneath his eye socket onto his bony cheek.

"Hey," you said as you took a seat next to him, slipping your smaller hand into his, "Thank you. For at least giving it a shot."

The moon deity peered down at your smaller form, letting out another, but more content, rumble escape his chest.

"As I recall, it was you who so adamantly wanted to go out on this little venture." He said, "And it is my duty to watch over the travelers of the night."

You let out a soft laugh, "I know, but still. You couldn't said no. Been mean about it."

Khonshu unfurled his hand from yours, lifting it up to gently wrap around your plush, warm cheek with his linen-wrapped fingers.

"Never, my stardust. Never to you."

Your cheeks heating up at his touch, you smiled up at the god, nuzzling your cheek into his large palm.

"Does this mean we get to go out more often?" you asked.

Khonshu let out a hum as he leaned his beak down to you, pressing the tip against your cheek as his hand fell away from it, "Don't be overzealous, little scarab."

"Oh come on! You had fun too!"

The moon god tapped his beak against your cheek once more in response, reaching behind him to wield is staff once again. Once it was secure in his grasp, he rose up from his seated position to a stand. Bending over slightly, he offered you his hand for you to mimic his movements.

"Come, little one." He said, "The night grows old, and my moon shall soon disappear. Let us get you home. You need your rest after such an eventful excursion."

Groaning out a long fiiiineeee, you gathered up your bags in your arms again, hugging them tight to your chest. Once you felt like they were secure in your grasp, you folded your hand inside of Khonshu's, having him help you to your feet. When you were steady, the god laced his long, skinny pinky finger alongside yours, pulling your smaller body closer to his as you begun the trudge back to your flat.

"Well I had fun," you said, "And I know you did too. You can't hide it from me."

The moon god softly chuckled, "I love you, foolish mortal."

You shot him up a smile, "I love you too, bird-brain. Even though you're bald."

~~~

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

You should make a tier list based on who you think is most likely the mastermind out of all the characters in v3

ANON I AM SO GLAD YOU SENT THIS ASK. I did this just last night unprompted so HERE

For some elaboration:

All dead characters (minus one exception) aren't on this scale because They'd all be under "literally no way" anyways and it'd get crowded (frankly, it'd also take forever to draw)

Himiko, Keebo, Kaito, and Maki shouldn't really even be on the scale? I don't think any of them have even the slightest bit of a chance of being the mastermind. They're on here for completion's sake though.

Shuichi is JUST BARELY on my suspicious list. I'm 95% certain he's not, but I'm constantly thinking about that one flashback of his where he says "I want to die in here with everyone else." I've always assumed that he wasn't the only one who thought that, and that was something they all thought, but maybe it was Shuichi alone? And he orchestrated this whole thing and forgot? (MAJOR DOUBT. but he's gotta be on the list somewhere)

Tsumugi is suspicious as always for meta reasons. I Genuinely can't believe how popular she is for what she's done in the game so far, she HAS to be evil in some way. Ive seen a very concerning sprite of her all over the place and it makes me nervous. Though in the end, I think it's probably mostly my anxiety? She's probably fine? I don't know??

if Junko's the mastermind AGAIN I'll lose my shit. I genuinely don't think she will be, especially since there's been so few references to the previous games so far, but I think its only fair that I have to consider her. I seriously can't imagine how this would play out.

Kokichi's the obvious choice, right? They're clearly setting him up as a major antagonist and problem at the end of ch4. Thematically, it could work. Genuinely though, I think it's very unlikely that Kokichi is the mastermind. It's NEVER the antagonist, it's way too obvious of a choice. I honestly think he's just that fucked up on his own and is taking advantage of the situation best he can.

Listen. Okay. I KNOW it's a major plot point in chapter 1 that Rantaro ISN'T the mastermind, and that he died 4 chapters ago, but I think there's a chance that he's still alive? And he WAS the mastermind but got his memory wiped like the rest of the students there? I have a very elaborate theory about the ultimate hunt which you can find here: (LINK), but in short I think Rantaro was leading the Ultimate Hunt and when these 15 ultimates were caught, he "caught" himself too (since he is an ultimate too, the Ultimate Hunter, I think) and put himself and everyone else in this killing game. Maybe he was put in as a warden but his memories were accidentally wiped by the incompetent monokubs? Or maybe he wanted to "die with everyone else" too. I don't really know. All I know is, if he IS still alive I will never recover from it. And this theory could potentially still work if he's still dead with monokuma/the monokubs taking over.

Aside from all this, I think there's a good chance that there is no mastermind this time around? It's actually my main theory currently. Nobody in the cast that's still alive is really suspicious to me (yes, that includes Kokichi) and the only one who's suspicious and dead is Rantaro. I Don't think they're gonna bring Junko back AGAIN. And that leaves nothing left. I think there's a possibility that there is no "outside world," that since the Gopher Project failed, the world outside is a ruined wasteland with very few survivors left. Monokuma and the Monokubs are running on their own with very advanced AI without a mastermind to control them. That's why Gonta could never find any bugs, and why the truth of the outside world was so devastating to him.

Or maybe not. I have NO idea!

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

i don't know how you can seriously ask me a question like that bc i think that after you, the person who's the most unhinged about this fic is me. i agree that it very much does contain some of the best writing you've ever done, and also i'm completely shocked to find out that you were 17 when you first started writing it because that first chapter definitely does not feel like a 17yo wrote it, i would never guess. hell, i've writing fic since like 13-4 and all my writing from age 17-8 is so whiny and bad and annoying there's a reason why i moved to ao3 and left everything else to rot on ffnet forever.

here's a list of scenes that i've reread the most, in no particular order and for no reason whatsoeve

[warning for on fire spoilers below]

the first chapter

it just. never fails to gut punch me. you're thrown into this scene so abruptly and sharply, with no backstories or preparations whatsoever, and yet somehow you can picture it all perfectly and you can feel exactly whats going on and the severity and intensity of it all. "he's been hurt" - those words, just echoing over and over, setting this horrible sense of dread and urgency. the encounter with remus confirms even further that something is very very wrong, this unusual sense of estrangement between them, and it all twists into a knot and sinks in your gut, setting such an intense fear there. 10/10. absolutely would reread again.

the cruciatus scene

this one is just. ohmyohmyohmyohmy where do i even start. the entire motif of love as violence and violence as love is very very prevalent all throughout the fic, but this is where it absolutely explodes. and honestly, ive been sort of,,, waiting (hoping??) for it, ever since the foreshadowing with what the healer told them, and yet seeing it all laid out in action in front of your eyes is just...... actual chills. shivers down my spine every time i read it. and the fact that its..... ohmygod i cant even talk about this normally without getting all hyped up like im on illegally obtained adderall and 7 energy drinks or something. the metaphor, the fact that its james putting the gun in his hand and telling him shoot me, asking sirius to do it to help him its just....... one of my all time fav lyrics is from a song called dirty by grandson and it goes "Do you have enough love in your heart / To go and get your hands dirty?" and i think anybody can show love in a tender way, in form of warm words and kisses and care, but to love someone so strongly you are willing to turn yourself into a monster for them, you are willing to do the (literally!) unforgivable is the kind of insane love people write books about. okay, you love him - but do you love him enough to hurt him? do you love him enough to take the shot when he's the one putting the gun into your hands? (not even to start talking about the other side of things, the fact that james, even in his not-fully-yet-himself state just naturally trusts sirius enough, trusts him so much with the force of a years old instinct, to give him that power and that authority is just...... bye dont talk to me). and at first sirius doesnt want to, he calls james insane and an idiot for even suggesting it - even when he does let the hypothetical thought cross his mind, he doesn't think it will work because you have to mean it in order to do it and how could he ever mean it, how could he ever want to hurt james? but love and hate are just two sides of the same coin, like tenderness and violence, and its like this metaphor with the pendulum clock, where one side is hate and the other is love - if youre in the middle, maintaining balance, it will be very hard to sway the pendulum into one of the edges, but if youre already at the very edge, it only takes a second for you to tip over to the other extreme. thats why most people get murdered by someone they know, thats why most women are murdered statistically by their partners - because its much easier to drive yourself into murderous insanity by jealousy or frustration when you deeply care for a person, rather than hurt someone you don't know at all. and james keeps pushing, he keeps talking to him, and pressing all the bleeding wounds, reopning them fresh until sirius finally reaches that tipping point and all hell breaks lose - until he's screaming his throat dry with the cruciatus until james can barely take it anymore and is begging him to stop. until he slumps forward, limp and lifeless. and all of that is suddenly gone, replaced by this cold dread, the pendulum back in its original position. sirius' wand drops to the floor. and we get this very very dramatic and emotional scene of him rushing over to hold his lifeless body, all panicked and on the verge of losing it entirely and barely breathing himself, just begging over and over no, no, no, please, please wake up, don't you dare, don't you dare leave me, not again; and then once he does wake up, after sirius has already circled through all five stages of grief at least a dozen times and already ran through all the possible scenarios and possibilities of ending his life that he hasn't tried yet, with this sudden jolt up and gulp of air - it's james. it's james james, his james, james from before, and it's crazy how sirius, and all the readers present in the room, we can all tell that that is it immediately. just from one look, one word,--

(lmao apparently there's a characters per block limit on tumblr and ive reached it ahahahahaha i never even knew it existed and ive been on tumblr for over a decade) -- that little spark in his eyes that was missing this entire time, this sharp edge to his tone when he says "sirius," like sirius hasn't heard his name being called in years. and its all just. the big bang. like people say "anti climatic" about things - so this is the opposite of it, it is climatic. its like if reading was sex, then this would be the orgasm. i'm gone. bye. extinct. ended by this chapter. unreal.

THE Smut Scene

i was going to have at least 5 different scenes here but i got ridiculously carried away with the previous one ajkshfsg so. just because i can not skip it, ever. a honorary mention of that one smut scene that lives in my head rent free from chapter 15. i love absolutely everything about it, i love how you can't tell apart where the love ends and the violence begins - or maybe it doesn't, maybe its just different shades of that same passion. the way sirius is so upset and frustrated and he wants it so badly but he wont, refuses to, just to see james suffer until he is literally begging for it - just touch me already, please, i missed you, i need you - all the words sirius yearns to hear, just not like this, not in this context, not as a dirty little secret once more. he's so hurt and in so much pain and none of it is even acknowledged because to james he's just "acting like a baby" and so when it finally snaps in him, it snaps fully, and he just shoves himself inside with no warning-- and the pain is there but its not enough to drown the desire, and its all just mixing together in this messed up mix of "what the fuck--" and "dont ruin it by talking" and the "you have no idea how much i miss you" together with "shit slow down you fucking sadist" because it's all there - the pain and the hurt and the love and the passion until you literally can not tell them apart - there is no concept of consent or kink negotiation with these two like there would be with any other sex scene, there isn't even a warning for dubious consent or anything like that bc it doesnt work like that with them, all those stupid rules apply to regular mortals in regular mortal relationships and their regular boring mortal sex - but james and sirius are part of each other's souls, its irrelevant when it comes to them. and its all so insane and overwhelming when its sirius trying to physically hurt him (by giving james what he actually wants, giving it brutally but giving it regardless), and all he gets in response to that violence is just james saying i love you, and then he's crying, he's the one who was meant to hurt james but he's the one who ends up crying - and when james sees that he has all the right in the world to make fun of him (bc who the hell cries during sex? thats just embarassing and pathetic come on), but he doesn't, instead he leans into the tender side of it even more, hes encouraging him, (yes, you feel so good, keep going, just like that) (i'm yours, you feel amazing) and it's all just---- its too much for my little heart to bear.

i think you severely underestimate me saying that i'm just as unhinged about this fic because i am, i could write novels about it, and i swear to you on my firstborn's life that if you ever finish it (even if its in 8 more years, we are in no rush here), im gonna get it bookbound into a beautiful beautiful cover and annotate the hell out of it and send you a copy. i need to be able to hold it and be able to draw hearts around my fav lines and see the stains that my tears leave when i reach the most emotional parts.

[in a flirty voice] hey wanna be insane and talk about On Fire all day long together

you are playing a dangerous game dani i am sooo unhinged about that fic. it's my magnum opus. my brain child. my baby. it contains some of the finest writing i've ever done and i love the way the story evolved along with my characters over the years. for a long time before i was really active on tumblr/fandom again, writing that fic was my only real connection to the hp world (other than rereading the books themselves); i started the first chapter when i was around 17 ... and i'm 25 now lol.

i'm not the kind of person who outlines stories, i kind of just sit down and write and let my brain take things where they want to go. so when i wrote that first chapter all those years ago, i still hadn't worked out a lot of later plot points, like what sirius did to cause the fallout between him and james, james' relationship with lily, etc. i like to think that this story was as much of a wild ride for me as for the readers because i literally did not know what to expect until i sat down to write it.

also i adore the themes of love and violence the story touches on. i wanted to make readers think about love as a destructive force, love with carnivorous teeth, love that burns everything in its path. love as a kind of devotion that borders on religion. all-consuming, devastating, and uncontrollable. the kind of love written about in wuthering heights, macbeth, anna karenina. love tinged with obsession and lust. love resembling psychological torment.

i just think sirius and james, with their natural codependency, and this intrinsic idea that they're each other's soulmates, make the perfect pairing for a story like that. i wanted to know: what would it take to break down a relationship between two characters who would die for each other? how deep the wound, how sharp the blade? i wanted readers to be both horrified and unable to look away from all of it, to be made to feel uncomfortable but still root for james and sirius to be together at the end.

people always say: write the story you want to read. on fire, but we can't feel a thing is that story for me. it contains elements of all my favourite books growing up, the exact characterisations of james and sirius that i hold most dear, and honestly i'm still surprised that my brain was able to come up with something like it. i don't know that it ever will again, tbh :')

[austarus]

HR Wells x Reader - Reversal of Denouement

*A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner.

**Please don’t forget to comment, like, and reblog. It means a lot to content creators of all kinds!

***I’d also like to thank @grimtamlain-writes​ for being my beta reader.

Word Count: 8251

MASTERLIST

A low groan left HR's lips. His body felt numb, his chest ached - tingled as his heart beats steadily. Is it beating? The darkness of his eyelids eased the stinging coming from his mind – it wasn’t so bright. The headache formed there. His body screamed at him as the novelist made the slightest of movement. His left shoulder in particular had protested in desperate agony. He couldn’t move it very much, the area succumbed to restraints of some sort. HR’s throat felt raw as his body throbbed, the blood coursing meticulously through his blood vessels. The sound of a soft voice greeted his ears, but his eyes refused to open.

"I... you, HR... even if... see it." The voice was so familiar, so gentle. So sweet. "Should... better." A drop of water hit his numbed hand, static still prominent there from the little movement his body had done. “I wish…” The dark-haired doppelganger could only understand fragments of what the speaker was saying. He felt a pressure on his hand, tender skin holding onto his before something tickled his forehead. Feather-light. What was it? Who was it? A few moments passed and he heard nothing, the novelist only assumed that the voice’s owner had left. He didn’t want to be alone right now though, not with the darkness.

It had become unbearable.

Since... Since when did…? How...? Oh. Right. Savitar... Am I dead? Is this where spirits wait for their turn to pass into their designated afterlife? Have I really...? Events from earlier resurfaced to his mind, his senses coming together. Right, had to protect Iris. For Barry – it was my fault Savitar had gotten to her. My big mouth. Even if Barry didn't really see me as a helpful friend. At least... At least I proved Savitar wrong, who ironically is a version of Barry. That's hella twisted. He huffed out a breath before venturing back into the calmness of sleep. Maybe a little more rest will help?

***

HR cracked an eye open: this time, harsh filtered light had greeted him. The novelist grunted in pain, adjusting himself slightly to assess where he was. What day was it? What was the time? How long have I  been here? A yawn left his lips this time, his throat and mouth as dry as a desert.

“Well look who finally decided to wake up?” HR’s eyes met Cisco’s, who stood with a tablet in hand. “How’s sleeping beauty feeling?”

The Wells doppelganger cleared his throat. “Like I’ve gotten assaulted by an Amtrack bus, and not the good kinds.” HR’s baby blue eyes scanned the room, landing on the flower vase that was set on a table near him. Blue forget-me-knots and pink hydrangeas stood proudly in their vases, nurtured well. HR felt his heart swell, his eyes not daring to leave the delicate petals that accented the med bay in better tones. Cisco handed him a cup of water to which HR downed it immediately.

“Amtrack does trains.”

“Not on my Earth, Francisco.” The author couldn’t help but ask, his eyes lingering on the flowers once more. “Did Tracy bring those?”

Cisco pursed his lips, an odd look present on his face. He wanted to tell HR, but… “No. Um, she didn’t.” Tracy had been visiting, though it had become some sort of a nuisance to all her complaining at this point. She hadn’t even known HR for that long, anyway.

“Oh?” His shoulders dropped subtly in disappointment. “They’re beautiful, I was just wondering and…”

“Let’s just say, a special someone’s been… dropping by and bringing a new flower each day. That’s all you’re getting from me, Aurora.” Cisco reasoned with the Wells doppelganger. The mechanical genius knew, but it wasn’t his place to say. It killed him, but… “I wouldn’t move around too much, if I were you. You’ve got a fractured shoulder and that chest wound. I’ve been told to relay the message that you’re to be on strict bed rest until that shoulder further heals.” HR lowered his gaze to see the cross-body sling. He clenched his slinged hand and unclenched it to bring some feeling into the limb.

“What about my chest?”

“Miraculously, that’s been healing really well since day one.” Cisco kept the talk real, showing the injured doppelganger the schematics and pictures. “You got lucky that it missed your heart by a centimeter.” A stab wound like that should have… I wonder if she knows that I know.

HR blinked at the seriousness in his injury, the looming idea of death from his decision. “How long was I out?”

“A week and a half.”

“What?” HR’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I-”

“HR!” Tracy’s sudden voice pierced the room, stunning Cisco and triggering an ache in HR’s head. The grad scientists shuffled over to him, both forgetting that Cisco was in the room. “HR, my love, how are you? Are you feeling okay? Is there any pain?” He continued checking his friend’s vitals and adjusting dosages to the IV and morphine administered – as per your request. The room was growing ever louder with HR and Tracy. Tracy embraced him, minding his injuries as she continued to fuss over him. It made the Wells writer smile, yet… his heart didn’t swell as much as it used to.

Odd.

Cisco sent you a quick text while the two were preoccupied, but you were already at the Labs. You stopped just outside the entrance, the wall and dimly light hallway obscuring you from who remained in the med bay. They wouldn’t be able to see you from where you stood.  A shaky breath left you as you clutched the Freesia flower in hand. Your heart shriveled in your chest as you backtracked. Hearing his voice is enough. After all, with Tracy around you couldn’t be near him – those dirty and hateful looks she’d send you. Best to keep my distance, I guess. You couldn’t help but sneak a peek at him though, the man who had unknowingly captured your heart and would never reciprocate your love. You pushed down the lump in your throat. Hastily, you sent Cisco a text to check on the flowers. Silently, you trailed away from the med bay and to the upper levels of STAR Labs. I wonder if he liked the flowers. Standing at such altitude with the wind blowing lightly had calmed you a bit. Looking down at the flower, you gripped it tightly before you began to pick off the petals one by one. The little moments you had with the goofy novelist surfaced to the forefront of your mind with each petal you held. Your little curious escapades. The little talks. The nights you’d visit him when Tracy wasn’t around.

“He loves me, he loves me not,” You murmured, a stray tear trickled down your cheek. The freesia symbolizes unconditional love and honor. “He loves me, he loves me not,” Your voice cracked as more tears fell. “He loves me, he loves me not…”

***

A frown presented itself on HR’s lips as he tilted his head to crack his neck. The crack relieved him tremendously. It didn’t make sense. The novelist mused to himself, setting aside the current chapter draft he was working on. The voice I heard was… different. It didn’t sound like Tracy’s. HR couldn’t get that voice out of his mind – the tenderness that was laced in the tone of that voice. Nothing like the slight shrill in Tracy’s. He eyed the flowers once more that day, their presence was prominent. If Tracy hadn’t brought those, then who had?

The team had helped situate HR in his room in order to vacate the med bay should another imminent event occur. He had overheard Cisco tell Wally that you were preoccupied with something in Star City – a bit of disappointment twinged inside him. HR had taken up doing bits of physical therapy for the rest of his body without moving his shoulder as much. His shoulder and arm remained in a crossbody sling. The flowers sat on his bedside counter; he tended to them as best as he could with the limited movement he had. Tracy protested that they don’t need to be around, but the novelist was vehement on keeping the plants. HR won’t deny the fact that he had gotten annoyed several times with her around when he needed thinking space for his writing. He couldn’t write with noise and nonsensical chatter, especially if it’s mainly coming from someone who doesn’t want to really listen to his input. She’d go on and on about her scientific research and such, but wouldn’t hear a word from HR regarding his writing. The longer the novelist was confined to his room for rest, the more he had time to think – to contemplate. Yes, he liked Tracy, but… it just seemed that she didn’t really see HR. She does all the talking; she doesn’t really ask about how I feel about things or ask me about my life, even things about Earth-19… It’s like she doesn’t see me for anything other than a pretty face. It’s not even my face that Tracy sees, just Randolph’s. Was I too quick to jump at the first person who showed interest in me? Had I rushed into ‘forever’ with her?

He tabled those thoughts for now. HR reached for his laptop; one hand opened it to start it up. While the device loaded, he grabbed his black-clear glasses and set them on his face. If anyone saw him as such, they wouldn’t be able to tell the physical difference between him and his handsome, yet grumpy doppelganger. Except for the eyebrow scar, but that was obscured by the glasses. HR did a couple of searches with a concentrated look. Surely, it was the person with that… angel-like voice.

“Hydrangeas,” HR whispered as his eyes skimmed over the text that had popped up. “The hydrangea represents gratitude, grace and beauty. It also radiates abundance because of the lavish number of flowers and the generous round shape. Its colors symbolize love, harmony and peace.” The Wells doppelganger scrolled further. “Pink hydrangeas symbolize heartfelt emotions.” Interesting. HR continued his research, glancing at the other flower type that resting in the vase. “Forget-me-nots symbolize true love and respect. When you give someone these tiny blooms, it represents a promise that you will always remember them and will keep them in your thoughts. They are also considered a symbol of fidelity and faithfulness.” A particular link caught his eye, he clicked on it. The novelist read to himself the text once more, “Based on Christian lore, the story about forget-me-nots is that God was walking in the Garden of Eden. He saw a blue flower and asked it its name. The flower was a shy flower and whispered that he had forgotten his name. God renamed the flower as forget-me-not saying that He will not forget the flower.”

HR swallowed thickly; contrary to popular belief around here, he wasn’t stupid. Sure, he wasn’t a science-based genius, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t an expert on other aspects of life and had basic common sense. The author was emotionally intelligent and intact with the world around him. These flowers weren’t picked out on accident. But who would do that? Who doesn’t want me to forget about them? The dark-haired man shook his head slightly as he shut his laptop. A surge of sadness welled inside him at the notion of ‘being forgotten’. Who had he done that to? He’d get to the bottom of this mystery in due time. Right now, I need to jog my memory on what I was writing. A hand found a rough draft paper, his eyes scanned over the words he had typed out. His brows creased as the written notes he’d made on the paper as well. (Y/N) … I had… What had I been writing about again? The novelist read each line, each note he had made no drafts and scratch paper.

The hairs at the back of his neck stood up as realization hit him the more he had read on. The drafts, the notes, all of it – the little novel he had been writing regarding his adventures. But this particular part of his story – the ‘angel’ in his story. The one who stuck by him since coming here, the one who had given him a safe space… And the one he hadn’t seen since waking up. How could he forget? HR lowered the paper; his eyes became half-lidded as guilt shot through him. Before Barry had gone to the future and gotten hints of Tracy with her Speed Bazooka, HR had been working on his book. A book that he had pushed off to stick with Tracy and help in any way that he can to make the speed weapon possible. He had gotten distracted from doing the things he loves. A few conjectures arose in his mind as he slipped his glasses off, one arm end pressed to his lips. His heart hammered into his chest; you were among the last faces he had seen before passing out that night.

The irony. How could I forget that (Y/N) was the ‘angel’ in my story?

***

“Look at you, up and at ‘em.” Cisco strolled into the lounge with a cheeky grin. The mechanical genius didn’t take HR for granted anymore, not with the stunt he pulled. No, Cisco willingly checked up on him – not just for you, but for himself. HR had truly become one of his close friends in the end, especially with all the advice about Gypsy. “What are you cooking up this time?”

“Just an omelet with a side of bacon and toast, Francisco,” HR turned to the mechanical engineer who continued to tinker away at the schematics to get Barry out of the Speedforce. He offered Cisco some with a gesture only for the scientist to politely decline. “I haven’t seen (Y/N) anywhere. Um, is she also…?”

“Oh, you know how she’s like. Either up in the vents or chilling in her birds’ nest on the roof. And on that note, our resident hummingbird has become quite the firecracker.”

HR raised an eyebrow at his friend. “How so?”

“She punched Savitar square in the face then decked him multiple times over when Barry brought him in. Harry had to be the one to pull her away – well, more like carry her away kicking and screaming bloody murder at him. It sounded badass; wish I had been there to see it.”

The Wells doppelganger gritted his teeth at the mental image of Harry carrying you – touching you. The thought ruffled his feathers for some reason.  HR expertly masked his irritation, turning the stove off and assembling the food on his plate. “Why?”

“Because he hurt you, HR.”

“…”

“He almost killed you.” And that was unforgivable, especially to her. “We almost lost you. She almost lost you.”

A rough sigh escaped HR as Cisco had sent him a knowing look before exiting the STAR Labs lounge. The Earth-19 man chewed on the inside of his cheek. Only a fool would misunderstand Cisco’s subtle intentions. HR knew what he had to do – he’d been reflecting on his time here, thinking about the people around him, about the relationships he’s formed. The novelist glanced outside – the sun shined, the birds chirped, and the trees rustled with the wind. 

And the world continues to move on.

***

“When are you going to tell him?”

“…” You tensed at the abrupt voice. You snapped your head up, eyes darting to find Cisco approaching you with pocketed hands in his gray-black jacket. He wore a Bulbasaur shirt. The clouds surged by with the intensity of the breeze. Your hair blew over your shoulders slightly. Tilting your head, you turned back to watch the city. Days had passed and you refused to see HR, content on what Cisco had been telling you. He’d been recovering tremendously well, but… you didn’t really want to hear about what he and Tracy were up to. It wounded you. “Tell who, what?”

“You know exactly who I’m talking about, Ms. I’m-going-to-put-my-feelings-in-a-box.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ohohohoho, no. I am tired of the love eyes, the lingering gazes, the pining. It ends.” Your best friend came to sit down next to you with that frustrated look on his face. “I know you have powers.” Your heart stopped in your chest at his accusation. “I know you used your powers to heal HR.” You bit down on your lip, not wanting to validate his statement. Cisco saw “I analyzed the wounds, looked at his healing at a microscopic level. I’m not Caitlin, but even I can pick up a few things. His cells were excelled to heal, but there were residues of your genetic markers at the wound point. You stitched his wounds together, cell-by-cell. My point is: why didn’t you say anything? Your powers are a-”

“-A curse.”

“What?”

“They’re a curse.” You threw a hard look at Cisco, making sure your hands wouldn’t touch him. “I can’t be playing God, Cisco. And… it’s unpredictable, volatile. I could either heal the life in my hands or take it away. I could rip someone ‘cell-by-cell’, Cisco. There’s no ‘in between’, not this time. He got lucky with my powers. He got lucky I didn’t make things 100% irreversible.”

“But why didn’t you say anything?” Cisco eyed the gloves you wore; it wasn’t the season for leather gloves.

“Because I didn’t want to give anyone false hope.”

“You don’t want to give yourself false hope, you mean.”

“…I can’t even heal a plant, Cisco. No matter how hard I tried, it wilted further. It’s a curse.”

“That’s not guaranteed every time, you know. It takes practice – discipline to get your powers to work with you instead of for you.” He nudged your shoulder with his, turning his gaze to the flock of birds drifting through the wind. “You know, he broke up with Tracy.”

“Ok?”

“Happened a week ago. She didn’t take it well and let me tell you. Tracy Brand was livid – the rage and yelling were off the charts. I think she has Harry beat. I knew it wasn’t going to last anyway, it was too superficial to begin with.”

“Uh huh.” You tried to sound uninterested, but deep down you were relieved. You heard a little ring in your ear. You wondered…

“She’s gone, won’t be coming here anymore.

“Ok.”

“So, go make your move.”

You turned abruptly to face him. “Cisco, have you thought that maybe HR doesn’t want to dive into a relationship right away? That… maybe he needs space to focus on himself?” All were things you had contemplated for yourself before.

“And what better way to do that than with a new roommate.”

“Excuse me?”

“Surprise, you’re getting a temporary roommate while we fully fix up things around the labs. I volunteered you since you have the space and the patience to deal with HR.” Your blood froze in your veins.

“Francisco Ramon, I am going to-”

“-Thank me, you’re going to thank me.” He had already breached away before you had the chance to strangle him. Heat rushed to your cheeks at the idea of HR living with you, even if it was a temporary living arrangement. You scolded your heart for beating loudly in your chest. One hand gripped tightly to your other. An audible sigh escaped you as your mind played with the idea.

Shit, what am I going to do?

***Day 1***

Cisco blew out an exhausted breath, setting down another box on top of a box in the guest room. You and the mechanical genius had been breaching back and forth with HR’s things as said novelist was crippled. His arm would take about another four weeks to heal. About 20 percent of shoulder fractures are displaced and may require some type of manipulation to restore normal anatomy. Occasionally the rotator cuff muscles are injured or torn at the same time as the fracture. Fortunately for HR, his rotator cuff muscles weren’t as damaged. This can further complicate the treatment. Therefore, in that time, HR would just be handling the lighter stuff, bless his heart. The novelist entered the room with his black backpack slung over his functioning shoulder – it was the last thing that he could carry.

“I think there’s one more box left,” HR pointed with his thumb towards his back direction, the breach closing behind him.

“I’ll go get it, not a problem. Why don’t you two get started on unpacking, huh?” HR shrugged with one shoulder and stepped away to set his bag down by the bed. Cisco threw a cheeky look your way when HR had his back turned, his eyebrows wiggling. ‘Have fun love birds,’ the scientist had mouthed at you. You flicked him off with a deadpanned look. Instantly you dropped it when the Wells doppelganger turned as Cisco snickered before he breached away. He gave you a confused look, but you waved it off.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For allowing me to stay obviously. And for all the help since I’m, well, a bit tangled up at the moment.”

He was referring to the cross-body sling that clung onto him like a spider. HR rubbed the back of his neck, and you didn’t miss the way his bicep flexed at the motion in that gray short-sleeve shirt. Calm the fuck down, it’s just a toned muscle. You’ve seen things like that before.  The puppy-like smile HR sent you had your cheeks warming up. The gentle smile that made your heart melt all over again. You cleared your throat as you reached for a box. “It’s no big deal, HR.” Undoing the tape seal with scissors, you opened the box- and the first thing you see are a pair of handcuffs accompanied by a silky black blindfold.

“What’s in the box?”

A little noise left you as you shut the flaps of the box, trying to seal it again. The flaps remained downward in the box. “Nope, nothing. Just some clothes here. I’m going to get that one box from the living room.” You had backtracked right into the door, your nose throbbed in response at the collision. “Ow,” you muttered to yourself, rubbing the skin.

“You ok?”

“I’m fine,” your response was quick, but not rude. A deep chuckle made its way to your ears as you scrambled out the room, your heart hammering in your chest. Your thoughts scolded you for being so awkward and flustered around him. Be cool, just chill out… The man you’re hopelessly in love with is just living with you temporarily, it’s not like anything will amount from this. You picked up the last box in the living room, hoping that just clothes would be in here and not anymore kink toys. I mean… I have toys, too. AW SHIT, I HAVE TO HIDE THEM!

HR’s eyes never left you as you made your panicked exit. He let out a little breath before shuffling over to the box you had been attending to. Immediately, he face-palmed hard when he had opened it with one hand. His face felt impossibly hot at what you had seen. She must think I’m an idiot or something. His mind thought back to when you helped him shop for some new clothes then it had gotten ruined from a meta. His hand fell away from his face, the image of your kind grin imprinted in his mind. I am an idiot, though. A fool.

Once Cisco returned, you three continued unpacking HR’s things for the time he’d spend here. The labs were still in ‘piss-poor’ shape according to Cisco and that he’ll need to consult with Harry and Wally regarding repairs.

“HR, how are you showering?”

“Um, like a normal person?” A dumbfounded look crossed HR’s features as he set the plate of sandwiches down. The novelist had knitted his eyebrows at Cisco. He had taken up to experimenting in the kitchen when he wasn’t writing. The tea and coffee were still brewing in your kitchen.

“No, I mean with how your shoulder is injured,” Cisco snuck an evil look at you, you returned it with a glare, “must be hard handling it alone.” You knew exactly where this dumbass wanted to take this conversation, so you stayed silent as to not get caught in the crossfire.

HR thought to himself for a moment. “Just a bit, but I’ve gotten used to the mild discomforts and pain. I can mostly reach everything thanks to my long limbs. But I think the nice thing is that it’s an internal issue, not an external one. An external injury or wound would require me to really have help with showering that way the area doesn’t get infected or irritated with the contents of soaps.” A laugh fell from his lips, but his mind wondered what his friend was playing at while you were around.

“I’m just saying, if you ever need a hand well,” Cisco trailed off with a smirk, chomping on his third sandwich.

Oh, I see. Devious, but a futile effort. “I’ll make sure you’re the first one I ask for help,” HR teased with a smirk of his own for Cisco to drop his in disgust. A cough escaped you, which had HR’s eyes land on you. Your eyes met for a moment before you deviated your gaze. HR felt hypnotized for a moment. Hm… The engineer quickly recovered from HR’s snide remark.

“Alright kids, I’ll be going now. The labs require some diligent work that I, a capable and distinguished engineer, could only do.”

“Yet, we still have the occasional security issues,” You sipped your tea once the snarky comment was out. HR stifled a chuckle, but you heard it. The corners of your mouth lifted slightly at the notion.

“Hey, that’s not fair. They always come up with something new to invade our space by.” Cisco pointed a finger at you, mocking a hurtful expression on his face. It dropped into a sneaky smile. “Make good choices and always use protection, you two!” He breached away before you could throw your cup at him.

***Multiple Days Pass***

Through his time here, you noticed HR fueled to write what’s on his mind in the guest room. You could only assume that he continued his adventure story. Sometimes he would venture out for some coffee or take a walk to give his creativity a break. Keeping that in mind, you gave HR the space he needed as well as all noises to a minimum. You knew he liked the quiet atmosphere to pour his heart and soul into words as he did research for a scene. Pulling your jacket on, you compiled a list of groceries before you stepped out of your apartment. Locking the door, you headed out to the store picking up a few necessities as well as some snacks for HR. Like Harry, the novelist can easily lose himself in his task – which meant that he tended to forget about eating and such. You found a bag of Jitters coffee beans, adding it to your cart of items. Buying some snacks and fruit, you’d leave a note in the kitchen of the snacks when he emerged from his writing cave.

On the way back, you stopped by at Iris’ studio to check up on her. A few groceries for her as well were in hand. Cecile and you did your best to visit Iris. But you can’t deny that you blamed her to a certain extent. Had she spoken up once she had left Savitar’s place disguised as HR, HR wouldn’t have been hurt that night on Infantino Street. Surely, she could have contacted her father or Cisco or something. The transition could have been smoother. HR wouldn’t have been… The journalist was faring; she pushed through the pain and as Barry had told her ‘to keep living’. So, Iris did. She hadn’t been herself since Barry went into the Speedforce – she pushed too much, the smile wouldn’t reach her eyes sometimes. You sympathized; she lost the love of her life. But you almost had too.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine, just… taking it one day at a time.” You nodded at her response, a small smile on your face. “How are things with you and HR? I heard of the temporary living conditions.”

“It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m in my bubble and he’s in his doing his writing.”

“Right. Nothing going on whatsoever?”

“Iris.”

Iris set her cup of hot chocolate down and raised both hands in mock defeat. “We all saw it. We all see it.”

“See what?”

“How smitten you are for him.”

“I’m not-”

“-Don’t say you’re not. If you weren’t you, Harry wouldn’t have to pry you off Savitar before you clawed his eyes out.”

“…” You just looked into your tea, the honey that settled at the bottom. Iris placed a sympathetic hand on your shoulder, but you didn’t look at her.

“The heart will want what it wants, (Y/N). Pushing your feelings into a box and denying it out loud won’t change things.”

“I know.”

And my heart wants him, over and over again. Even if he can’t see me.

***

HR tapped his pencil against the desk at a steady pace. His mind wouldn’t focus on the words in front of him, on the scene he wanted to set. Instead, it kept drifting further from it. Further towards you: your eyes, your smile, the kindness that you held; the serenity that your existence held as the world continued to turn and chaos had unfolded at each turn. HR didn’t see much of you while he was here, the novelist missed your company. You were here, but you weren’t really here. You were either in your room or at the balcony with a book or on the couch with your Switch. He didn’t want to bother you, but… sometimes HR just wanted to sit beside you and pull you close to talk. To hold you in his arms and ask you about your day, to understand what you were thinking. HR cracked his back in a stretch from where he sat on his bed, being mindful of his injured shoulder. It didn’t hurt as it had originally done a few weeks back. The Wells doppelganger noticed that you were careful to avoid touching him or him touching you. Not even a hug that you used to graciously give him. You were especially guarded with your hands. A rough sigh left him as he threw his pencil down. The frustration was setting in, he was getting nowhere. You consumed his thoughts. HR wondered if you were revolted by him but doesn’t verbalize his thoughts to you. He didn’t think you’d give him your truthful answer. Maybe she is revolted by me. She did find the cuffs and the blindfold… No, she knew about the cuff stage thing well before that.

The sound of the front door greeted his ears followed by the soft tune of music. A frown made its way onto his face. Might as well take a break. HR stretched once more when he fully stood up, a little noise of relief left his lips. He cracked his back once more before smelling himself. For safe measure, the novelist sprayed a bit of cologne on himself and turned off the candle he had on. He mentally noted to take a shower after dinner since his last was yesterday. He liked the feeling of being clean, to be honest. HR carded a hand through his hair. I need a haircut soon, too. Yeesh, I feel like I’m letting myself go. Once I’m all healed it’s back to proper cuts and the labs’ recreation room. He wanted to go back to lifting weights and doing yoga for body stability purposes – especially now because of his shoulder. HR rested a hand on his chest, the wound had healed completely, but a scar remained. Upon entering the kitchen, he saw the groceries on the table and heard you whisper along with the lyrics. The music was set to a low level that your whispers were audible enough. He watched you sway a bit with the tune.

So please don't break my heart

Don't tear me apart

I know how it starts

Trust me I've been broken before

Don't break me again

I am delicate

Please don't break my heart

Trust me I've been broken before

The guitar tune pulled at his heart, feeling the raw emotion behind the lyrics. He eyed you for a moment. HR cleared his throat to make his presence known, he knew you didn’t like to be snuck up on. However, a little gasp left you from where you were. “You went out shopping?”

You looked up from where you crouched to put away the cereal. “Uh yeah, we were running low on some stuff.” You shut the cabinet and went to the other items you had bought. The music continued to delicately play.

“Need any help?”

“Um, sure. Uh, just set these into the cabinet on the left.” Normal, be normal. He’s not going to eat you or anything. Distance is good. Distance keeps you safe. You didn’t meet his eyes, the eyes that’d pull you in and never let you out – your heart shook with him here and the song that played. You were hoping HR wouldn’t come out while you prepped dinner to have a sort of peace of mind. The next song played before you could stop it-

My last made me feel like I would never try again

But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt

Come closer, I'll give you all my love

If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything

“I like this song,” HR started as he was finishing up with putting his side of the groceries away. Another guitar-like song that brought out the soft feelings of love and rejection. HR mused to himself if fate had planned this out. If this was some sort of sign or a cruel joke… You had stopped yourself from clicking the button to skip the song at his comment. You don’t know what possessed you to let him indulge in another song that you’ve cried to late at night. “Hey, I can cook dinner tonight. I have something I’ve been wanting to try. I’m not that crippled so I can manage with a few cookware.” HR chuckled to himself, a goofy grin on his face. Your heart leapt in your chest; his grin caused a small smile to pull at your lips. “You can wash up first?”

You swallowed thickly, your eyes meeting his icy blues. You felt your cheeks warm up slightly as the nerves crawled up your spine. “Oh, ok. Cool, yeah. Can’t wait to see what you cook up.” You nodded, ducking your head away and shuffling out of the kitchen with that shy smile on your face. You missed the longing look he had sent you as you fastened your steps to head to your room.

God I love that smile. What goes on in that little head of yours? We used to be so close… before Tracy came into the picture. HR pulled out the spices and the chicken breast. He shook his head and proceeded to prep the food with his one useful hand. I need to consult Francisco.

***

“We need to talk,” HR’s voice broke the silence in the side lab of the Cortex. He had breached to the labs using the Breach Extrapolator after he had showered and such. His damp hair was pushed back in HR’s normal style.

“About what?” Cisco raised a concerned eyebrow at the writer, stopping what he had been doing.

“(Y/N).”

A nervous laugh left Cisco as he went back to attempting to make the necessary modifications to the Speed Bazooka. Tracy was reluctant to help the mechanical engineer after the breakup. “What about (Y/N)?” Cisco put down his screwdriver. “Did you do something weird to her?”

“What? No! I- we used to be closer. We always talked, we’d hang out after a long day here at the labs.”

“Uh huh.”

“And, maybe it’s just me, but things have changed.”

“How so?” Cisco was wondering what conclusion HR was leading himself to.

“Things changed when Tracy came into the picture.”

Cisco made a little ‘o’ with his mouth with a little nod before closing it. He pushed a rough sigh past his lips, he was getting really tired of this puppy love game. “Why do you think that?”

“Francisco, she flinches when I get close – almost when I touch her… Does she hate me?”

“I think you and I know the answer to that one. But I think the real question should be: Why do you care so much? Why does it bother you? Do you love her, HR?”

The novelist tensed a bit. “…” HR pursed his lips as Cisco walked around the table that the speed weapon was mounted on. Blueprints were scattered on one table while the glass board held variables and equations he could not decipher. “What?”

“I said what I said,” the mechanical genius smoothly responded. One look at HR and Cisco knew that he was baffled by his forward words. But they needed to be said. “Now run along and use that head of yours to think about what your heart wants. Barry isn’t going to get himself out of the Speedforce.”

***

Cisco’s words mulled through HR’s mind as he breached back to your apartment’s living room.  Only the lamp light on the side table was on. HR’s eyes landed on you, who laid on the couch with the book you had been reading on the back ledge of the couch. The novelist took off his shoes and set down his bag. He had detoured to the bookstore, looking for the next installment of your current book. The Wells doppelganger had assumed you didn’t buy it yet as it was vacant from your bookshelf. The gentle giant stepped silently closer to you; the dim light cast over you like a glow. There were slight bags under your eyes. She hasn’t been sleeping well lately. Spotting a large and fluffy blanket near, HR grabs it and lays it on top of you. He remembered you mentioned to him prior that you easily get cold, especially at night. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, HR contemplated something before his body moved impulsively. The novelist placed a gentle kiss on your forehead; his lips lingered for a few more seconds. Pulling back, HR watched your chest rise and fall.  He turned the light off and stumbled over to his room with his phone light guiding him. He knew what he was going to write. Cisco’s question pestered him enough though.

Do you love her, HR?

HR took one look out his door before shutting it, his heart squeezed tightly in his chest as he whispered, “Goodnight, my angel.” Only the shadows that lingered were a witness to the fondness laced in those simple words.

***

You woke up with a start, you hand instantly smacking right into your chest. Heavy breaths left you as your nerves were in overdrive. Cold sweat beaded your skin as you gasp for air. It was another night terror – the same one for a few weeks now; a new way in which you caused HR’s death. Swallowing thickly, you screw your eyes tightly shut and whisper the mantra that calmed you down. After a few minutes, you started to regain control of your breathing – the thoughts that ravaged your mind finally ceased like the tides subsiding after a tsunami. You blinked languidly, hating nights like these. They weren’t rare, but they weren’t an uncommon occurrence. Deciding that you needed to step out for some air, you did so with the intent of getting a glass of water from the kitchen. Your fingers found the lights for the dimmers in your room, setting it to its lowest setting for you to see yourself out.

Cracking the door open, you were instantly met with the scene of HR passed out on the couch again. He’s been doing that for around two weeks now, the couch his new base of operations. His mouth was slightly open as little snores escaped him. A lovestruck smile crossed your features at the sight. Papers were littered around him, on the ground, and on the tables. Must be the manuscript he’s working on for his final draft. I hope I can read it at some point. Coming back from the kitchen with the water in hand you couldn’t help but stop to admire the sight. You noticed the glasses still perched on his face. Moving as silent as a ninja, you inched closer to pull off the glasses from his face. They’ll break if he keeps them on while he sleeps. Then he won’t see for shit when reading things. You nibbled on your bottom lip as your eyes drifted to the papers. One peek won’t hurt anyone. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Seating yourself on the ground, you leaned your back against the foundation of the couch. You were opposite to where HR’s upper body was. If there were any telltale signs of him waking, you’d hightail out before he could fully wake up and process what you were doing. Picking up a small stack, you started sifting through them. Your mind became engrossed with the words – the beginnings of the story he had spun about his adventures as to how he came to Earth-1. Then… mentions of an angel eluded you. It couldn’t be Tracy, could it? I know they broke up, but… on the other hand, it doesn’t mean that he can’t say that she was his angel at the time. Like a character development thing leading to their break up?? Well fuck, I don’t even think he’d mention such a personal thing in his book. I know I wouldn’t… would I? I don’t know. A little smile danced at your lips while you read on about the synonymous things regarding Team Flash that you failed to notice HR rouse from sleep.

“Do you like it?” Lethargy intertwined his words. A stunned noise left you as you clutched the papers. You turned to see HR rubbing his eyes before gazing at you.

I could get lost in those eyes if I stared too long.

“Uh, yeah, its- it’s really good,” you stuttered, setting the papers down in your lap. Embarrassment of getting caught gripped you. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I don’t mind you taking a peek. I don’t have anything to be ashamed of in it.” HR shifted his lithe body to sit next to you on the ground.

“Oh.”

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“No.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“It’s not that important, I’ll be ok.”

“If you say so,” HR’s shoulders sagged slightly. “I’m here if you want to talk.” You nodded at him, whispering a little thank you. HR ran a hand over his knee, he took a glimpse at you who stared at the papers. He noticed what chapter you hand been reading – the angel was making an appearance in the story. The hair at the back of his neck stood while you thumbed the words on the paper back in forth, just lost in your mind. Your hair was messy from sleep, the bags under your eyes were still there. It killed him how you wouldn’t confide in him anymore. But he didn’t push you. You would open up to him if you wanted to or not, even if he wanted you to do so as so his mind can be at ease with knowing what’s going on with you. Cisco’s question sprang up in his mind once more before he licked his lips, his eyes watching you. “I do.”

You gave HR a strange look. I do, what?

“Tracy wasn’t her.” Realization struck HR the more you whispered with him.

“Huh??”

“I heard this voice before I woke up.” The novelist fully turned to you with intense eyes, the enlightenment in them – the fire that burned brightly. “The tenderness in it could rival any tasteful delight in the multiverse.”

“A voice?”

“Mm, it made me think that only a heavenly deity would have such a voice.” You remained silent as he spoke. “I never got to hear that voice since my coma… until now?”

You tensed at what he was insinuating. “Now?”

“How could I forget?”

“I-I don’t understand.”

“How could I forget about you?” The baritone huskiness in his voice made you melt with the way he said those words. You swallowed, trying to calm the butterflies that raged in the pit of your stomach. “The flowers that were left – beautiful, delicate, yet meaningful. You left those after visiting me.”

“…”

She didn’t deny it. “But you never visited when I was awake because of Tracy.”

“She hates me.”

“And I was too blind to see that until I broke up with her, she threw quite a fit.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because you must have loved her so much that it would be hard to let go.” She was your angel, after all.

“She didn’t even know me. Truly know me.”

“… Did she hurt you?”

“Slightly, but the bruise is gone.” You and he were silent for a moment. Only the sound of a distant car horn was heard from the streets. “You didn’t deny it.”

“Deny what?”

“The flowers, the visit…” HR licked his lips as a rough breath left him. His nerves were climbing, but he needed to do this. “Cisco told me what you did to Savitar when you saw him. How angry you were that Harry had to pry you off him – I was so angry.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t know then… but I know now.”

“And?”

“Tracy was never the one written in my story – she didn’t care. She didn’t see me for anything other than a pretty face obsessed with coffee. You did.” HR tucked your hair behind your ear, carefully gauging your reaction. He saw how you tried not to flinch away from him. “Do you hate me?” He asked as he retracted a hand from you, happy that he was at least getting through to you.

“Never could I feel such a way towards you.” You hesitated for a moment before testing the waters. You started to explain, “I- the night you were stabbed by Savitar I… I just broke. I pushed Tracy away, I had Barry rush you back to the labs. You were dying, unconscious on the gurney and… I got to work trying to resuscitate you. I had Cisco take care of Tracy while I worked, I needed space to think clearly, but I couldn’t. When- when the others were preoccupied with Iris’ appearance, I used these powers.” It was now or never. “I was desperate. Your life was hanging by a thread- I didn’t think it was going to work, but nothing else was working. You were bleeding so much. But I had to try. I…” Your glassy eyes locked back on his, your hands pulled close to your body. HR understood now why you never tried touching him. Why you are avoiding getting too close. “Cisco found out, he confronted me. But these powers, life isn’t guaranteed. They’re volatile, unprecedented – regardless of how I feel in the moment the balance can tip between giving a life and taking one.” There was a tightness in your chest as your voice cracked, “I’m cursed, I could hurt you.” I’m dangerous.

“I don’t think you will.”

“You don’t know that!”

“But I do,” HR reached a hand out to hold yours. Tension filled your heart as panic started to settle. “You wouldn’t let yourself hurt me. It would pain you too much.” HR squeezed your slightly shaky hand, his other hand still bound by the cross-sling. “My life is in your hands.”

“How can you trust me so much?”

“Because love cannot be built without a foundation of trust.” He placed a sweet kiss on the knuckles of your hand. “And understanding.” He took the other and kissed it, baby blue eyes shifted back to yours with such intense emotion. The adoration that filled the author to the brim for you. Just for you. Only you. The one who saw him for everything and anything that he is. His safe space – the one other thing he wanted to be for you as well. He wanted to eliminate any fears that resided in your heart, the pain and doubt that remained.

“Do you hate me?”

HR cupped your cheek tenderly as he leaned close, your heart wanted to stop as blood rushed to your cheeks and ears. Your half-lidded eyes shut slowly as his lips skimmed over your own. “Never in my life, angel,” the novelist whispered as he captured your lips in a tender and sentimental kiss.

Never in my life could I hate the one who my heart has yearned for.