#seriously i’m in such a bad place rn. and MAYBE it’ll all work out in the end but it’s not rly entirely up to me

[dipyronegirl]

my classmates judging me in the gc cause i keep skipping class and not studying and my colleagues from work upset with me cause i’m slacking and my mom mad at me for not having all the answers. and then, get this, there’s LAUNDRY

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About vi

You and Colson grapple with being “just friends.”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1871

| i | ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

Hi friend

You were in the studio working on editing one of your songs when you got the text. You hated it, but you smiled automatically when his name popped onto your screen.

Hi friend

The past few days had been weird, but necessary. Colson ended up staying at Pete’s apartment the next night too, so you had plenty of time to figure out how “friends” worked. Unsurprisingly, you hated it. But it was the only way to keep Colson close to you, so you’d take it.

I’m bored

I thought you were friend?

Haha

But seriously you should entertain me

As friends

I’m in the studio rn

U can take a break

What would we do if I took a break?

You tried really hard not to flirt, but it came so naturally. But maybe if you convinced yourselves that you were just friends, it would happen. Because that’s how things work.

Lunch?

I’m hungry

I thought you were bored?

That joke is lame

:)

Will u pls go out to lunch with me

As friends

Hmmmmm

I suppose I could think about it

You sighed, saving the audio project and shutting the computer down. You hadn’t eaten all day and spending time with Colson wasn’t the worst way to spend your lunch break.

Y/N I will find you and drag you out of that studio

You don’t even know where I am

Where do you wanna go?

I could find out…

Whatever u want

Mediterranean? There’s a cute place right by me I’ve been wanting to check out.

You sent him the address, asking him to meet you in 10 minutes.

It’s a date

Wait

No

Not a date

Like I’ll see you then

You laughed as the texts came through your phone, shaking your head. You headed out of the building, walking towards the small restaurant. You weren’t exactly dressed in “lunch clothes,” because you had expected to stay in the studio all day, but you would survive.

You got in line at the blue painted restaurant, thankful that it wasn’t too long. You waited a few minutes before a familiar voice spoke from your side. “Now what’s a pretty girl like you doing all by herself?”

You smiled, turning to Colson. “Waiting for her friend to show up.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smirk on his face. “I hope your friend is as hot as you are.” He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, “not even close.”

Luckily Colson understood you were joking and he laughed with you. “How have you been?” He asked, “did they catch the guy breaking into apartments?”

“I’ve been good, working.” You nodded, “yeah, they caught him. He broke into this police officer’s place while he was home.”

Colson huffed in amusement, “talk about bad luck.”

“Right? I mean, I’m glad they caught him but, I mean, what are the odds?” You moved forward in the line, reaching the hostess stand.

“Two please.” Colson asked, flashing the girl a smile. You bit your tongue to hide the scowl that almost instinctively came to your face.

The hostess was young and no doubt attractive. She batted her eyelashes towards the tall man, not even acknowledging you. “What’s the name?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as Colson answered, wondering why she would need his name if she was taking you to the table. “And what’s the number?” She asked sweetly. If you were drinking water you would have spit it out.

Colson blushed slightly as you stood in shock. “Um-I’m.” He looked at you as if to say “I’m here with someone” but then he must’ve realized that he wasn’t technically on a date. “You’re lovely, but I’m not interested.” He muttered out, an awkward look on his face.

You were trying your hardest not to look pissed off, because if you looked pissed off then the lie you and Colson have been telling each other about being just friends would be exposed.

The girl looked you over, eyes raking up and down you with a disgusted look on her face. You felt very self-conscious suddenly, your head turning towards the floor in embarrassment. Colson noticed and cleared his throat, “our table?”

The girl didn’t speak a word as she grabbed two menus and led you to the table. “Your waiter will be with you shortly.” She spit out, anger on her face. Your heart was beating very fast, but you couldn’t tell if it was from anger or sadness.

Colson eyed you from across the table as you played with the hair tie on your wrist. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You spoke too fast to convince him, your quiet demeanor also giving you away.

He sighed, his foot kicking yours lightly and pulling your focus up to him. “Okay, you just seem a little uncomfortable.”

You huffed, “yeah, well, having girls look at me like I’m the scum of the earth does that to a person.”

He frowned, “You know she has, like, nothing on you, right?”

A small blush found your cheeks, and you looked down at your hands again. “You can’t say stuff like that.” You muttered.

“What? Friends say that stuff to each other! I’m trying to make you feel better.” His smile told you he knew what he had done, but he didn’t care.

You sighed, “yeah but you can’t say that to me.”

Colson gaped dramatically, “why not?”

“Because it’s different coming from you.” You laughed. “Why didn’t you give her your number?” You asked, curious for his answer.

He shrugged, “wasn’t interested. Guess I have high expectations.”

You rolled your eyes, “it’s not because I’m here, right?”

Colson let out a sigh, “N-“

He started to speak but was interrupted by the waiter at your table, “Welcome to Shuka, my name is Oliver, I’ll be your server today. Can I get you guys started with something to drink?”

“I’ll get a water, please.” You said, smiling at the man. Colson raised an eyebrow at you. “I have to go back to work after this.”

He chuckled, scanning the menu, “can I get a Nitro?” Oliver nodded, sending you both smiles before heading back to the kitchen.

You sent Colson a look, expecting him to continue your previous conversation. Instead, he continued to read through the menu. “Do you know what you want? I’m thinking about the Shak-Shakshu-.” He tried to pronounce the name of the dish but was failing.

You giggled, finding the dish on the menu, “Shakshuka.” You told him, “and I haven’t even looked.” You scanned through the menu in your hands, reading the names of the various dishes. Colson took to studying you, a small smile on his face.

“It’s not because you’re here. It’s because I’m genuinely not interested in anyone else.” He said out of the blue. Confusion flashed across your face before you understood what he was referring to. You took in a breath, trying to figure out how to respond. “I know I shouldn’t tell you that, but I just think you needed to know.”

You smiled to yourself, “I don’t mind, I just- it makes it harder to convince myself this isn’t a date.”

Colson nodded, “this is not a date. We are just two friends having a friendly lunch. As friends.” He was trying to convince himself too.

“Right. Friendly friends. Two people who are just friends.” You said, exaggerating the word “friends”. Awkwardness hung in the air for a few moments before you both started laughing.

You fell into the familiar pattern of conversation that seemed to come naturally to you both. When your meals arrived, you were both very excited. “Can I try some of yours?” You asked, sending him the most convincing puppy dog eyes you could muster. He chuckled, placing some of the poached egg onto his fork and moving it towards you. You rolled your eyes at the cliché but smiled anyways, letting him feed you. Your eyes widened in shock “that’s so good!”

He nodded, swallowing his food. “My turn.” He said, reaching over and plucking up a falafel from your plate with his fork. Once he finished eating he smiled at you, “you have excellent taste. You’re picking the restaurants every time now.”

You raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on your face. “So we’re going to have more of these friend lunches?” You asked.

“Duh. We’re friends. This is what friends do.”

You giggled, “I don’t hear about you and Pete going out for lunch together.”

The man chuckled, eyes closing for a moment. “If it’ll make you feel better I’ll take Pete to lunch one of these days.” That made you giggle even harder, shaking your head.

 Neither of you finished your meals, packing them into to-go boxes to eat later. When Oliver brought the check over, you were very flustered. Colson automatically reached to pay but you grabbed his wrist, “we’re on separate checks.” You told the server. Oliver nodded, moving to fix it until Colson spoke up.

“I got it, it’s not a problem.” You sent him a look. “I asked you to lunch, I pay.”

“Friends let their friends pay for themselves.” You muttered, moving your hand from his wrist.

He rolled his eyes, “you can pay next time.” Smiling smugly, he handed his credit card to Oliver, who was very confused. “Relax. I’m just being nice.”

You sighed, pouting slightly. “It’s already hard enough and then you make it worse by flirting and paying and- ugh.” You cut yourself off, frustrated.

Colson clenched his jaw, letting out a hard breath through his nose. “I know, I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly easy for me either.” You nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed at your small outburst. “We can do this.” He said, confidently. If only you could feel as confident as he sounded.

Once Oliver came back with the card and receipts, you both left the restaurant. You hadn’t noticed the cameras as you walked down the street with Colson, the conversation returning to light banter and jokes, but they noticed you.

Colson walked you all the way back to the studio you were working at, insisting on going with you all the way inside. “I just wanna see where you work.” He claimed, but you insisted it was just like every other studio.

You got into the elevator to ride up to the fourth floor, where your space was. Colson stepped in with you, a smile on his face. You sighed, pressing the button and waiting for the elevator to close.

“Hey Y/N?” He spoke as the doors began to shut. You looked up to him, eyebrow raised in question. The doors closed and instead of responding, Colson leaned down, pressing his lips to yours.

You kissed him back, hands cupping his face. You heard the elevator beep as you passed the second floor, and then the third floor. He pulled away, smile on his face.

You took in a deep breath, “I thought you…”

“Fuck it.” He muttered, standing up straight. You smiled, biting your lip. “But we’re not hiding this from Pete. We’re just… testing the waters.”

You hummed in agreement as the elevator doors opened, stepping into the hallway and leading him to your studio.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Stray Kids Reaction: S/o Has a Migraine and Can’t Sleep

A/n: I had a super bad headache last night so I just came up with this. Sry for the lack of og content! I’m working on a big request rn! (btw this is not edited so sorry for mistakes)

Warnings: maybe a couple curse words? nudity? idk its chill

Bangchan:

You had been prone to get migraines every now and then. As a result, you often didn’t sleep very well. Tonight was just one of those nights. It was a particularly bad one. You wanted to scream it hurt so much, but Chan was sleeping peacefully beside you. This was the third time this month. You didn’t want to wake him up again.

Slowly, you got out of bed. It seemed every movement only made the pain worse. You started to get dizzy. Bracing yourself against your closet, you sighed and rubbed your temples. “Chan...” You felt terrible about waking him up, but you needed help. “Channie...babe?” You said a little louder. He shot up in bed.

“I'm up. I'm up.” He looked around the dark room until he saw you by the closet. He rubbed his eyes and jumped out of bed. “Is it your head, baby?” He asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You nodded and Chan gave you a tired smile. 

Carefully he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. Your head dropped onto his shoulder as you tried to ignore the sharp pain coming from the top of your head. Chan carried you into the bathroom and closed the door with his foot. He carefully set you on the counter and the flicked on the lights. “Ahh!” You yelped, clutching your head.

“Sorry! Sorry! I forgot!” Chan said, flipping the light switch back off. Chan turned the shower all the way to hot and let the steam fill up the room. He kissed your cheek before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The mirror fogged with steam and the pressure in your head started to subside little by little.

Chan softly knocked on the door before entering again. By now steam was setting into the room like a mist. Sweat beaded on both your foreheads and the glass Chan held in his hand. Your boyfriend came to stand between your legs, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh. 

“Drink some water, baby girl.” You took the glass, his hand staying nearby in case you dropped it. After you drank all the water, you leaned your head against Chan’s shoulder letting him rub your back. 

“I’m so sorry that it hurts, Y/n.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head.

Minho:

Work had been seriously stressing you out lately. So much so that Minho went to sleep before you did. You were doing your best to work through the splitting headache you had but it was impossible. Deciding to give up, you trudged to bed. However, laying down only seemed to make it worse. 

Minho was sleeping soundly beside you, completely oblivious to your pain. You did your best to fall asleep. But it felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to the side of your skull. “Minho,” You said shaking your boyfriend. “Minho, please wake up.” You said clutching your head in pain. He groaned and rolled over, sleepily glaring at you.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“My head is killing me. Fuck...It hurts so much I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” You said trying not to cry. Minho looked around, brows furrowing and then back at you.

“Well....what do you want me to do about it?” I sighed and slapped his shoulder, making him yelp. “Okay! Okay! Sheesh.” Minho stumbled out of your shared bed and shuffled sleepily down the hall. He came back a few minutes later with a bag of frozen peas and water. 

“Peas?”

“Sorry, we were out of brussels sprouts.” He said helping you hold the freezing bag to your head. He watched you drink the water and lazily rubbed your thigh as he sat next to you. You knew he didn’t mean to be rude. He was just sleepy. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up,”

“Don’t apologize.” He said, taking your hand in his. Minho felt the back of your neck, only to pull away at the temperature. He gently took the bag of peas from you and transferred it, pushing your hair out of the way. “I don’t like seeing you in pain.” Minho leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours. Your boyfriend sat with you half asleep until the migraine finally went away.

Changbin:

You were very stressed. Stressed was an understatement. There wasn’t a word for how much pressure you were under. You had been pushing it all down and just telling yourself it would all be over soon. However, it had started to affect your sleep. You would get these splitting headaches anytime you lied down. 

Changbin lounged across your couch scrolling through his phone, probably ordering the food you had talked about earlier. “I can pay for it this time, Bin.” You said running a hand through your hair. Your boyfriend shook his head, throwing his phone on the couch.

“Nonsense. I’m paying. Come here, baby. You look really stressed. Lie down for a minute.” You shook your head. You knew if you lied down, the pain which was already starting to throb against your skull would get worse. “Y/n, I’m gonna make you lie down if you don’t come over here.” Again you shook your head and turned, trying to find something to occupy your tired mind and body.

Changbin sighed and pushed himself off the sofa. He wrapped you in his arms and dragged you down onto the couch, your head laying on the cushions. He backed away when you cried out in pain. “Changbin, I told you I didn’t want to lie down!” You said clutching your head. 

“Baby, I’m sorry! What’s wrong?” You shook your head, pain throbbing.

“It’s nothing. It’ll pass....eventually.”

“No, you’re hurting. Tell me what I can do.”

You tried to push past the swelling and throbbing. “Umm....uh...in my bedroom. The nightstand- in the drawer there is a little glass bottle. It’s brown and green.” Changbin nodded and got off the couch. 

You could hear him rummaging through the drawer looking for one of the bottles of essential oils you had. The doorbell rang, making you cry out from the sound. “I’ve got it, baby! Hold on!” Changbin said rushing to the door. Quietly he thanked the delivery guy and placed the food on the table.

“Is this why you haven’t been sleeping?” He asked handing me the bottle of peppermint oil. Nodding, I opened it and rubbed some of the oil on my temples. The pain started to fade away very slowly. Changbin wrapped and arm around me, pulling me into his chest. “Baby, you’ve got to tell me when you’re hurting so I can help.”

Hyunjin:

Today was not your day. Nothing seemed to be going right. On top of all that you were beginning to worry about money problems. There wasn’t enough in your savings to start paying off your student loans and no matter how much your boyfriend tried you wouldn’t let him pay for the entire rent of your shared apartment. 

Your shifts were getting cut back all week so you were struggling to come up with the money for rent, let alone something for Hyunjin’s birthday at the end of the week. Your boyfriend was still at rehearsal, giving you time to look at your finances without him offering to pay every eight seconds. Your brain was pulsing against your skull. 

You gave up after the pain started making words float off the bank statement you were reading. You switched off all the lights and rubbed your temples. The pain was only getting worse. Not having the energy to walk to your bedroom you just laid down on the cool wood floor in your living room. 

“Y/n? Hey, gorgeous! I’m home!” Hyunjin called out. The sound of his keys dropping in the dish made you clutch your head and whimper. You heard him walk over to the kitchen table and sigh when he saw the papers. “Babe, I told you not to worry about all this....Y/n?” He called out again.

“Y/N!” He yelped seeing you on the floor.

“Ahh...Jinnie...please be quiet. My head...” He nodded and carefully lowered himself onto the floor, laying on his stomach. “Hyunjin, what are you doing?” You said rubbing your eyes. Another sharp pain erupted from the top of your head, making you wince. 

“I don’t really know how to help...so I’m just being here if you need me.” 

If you didn’t feel so horrible you would kiss him. Gently he stroked your hair and sat against the couch. His arms wrapped around you pulling you into his lap, apologizing profusely when you whimpered in pain. “Thank you, baby.” You whispered into his chest.

“Please let me pay for the rent, gorgeous. I don’t want you hurting like this.” He kissed your forehead when you nodded the tiniest bit.

Jisung:

This had not been your week. Everything seemed to be going wrong and fighting with your mom was the last straw. Jisung was set to be at the studio until late so you just cried. And maybe screamed...a little. You just let it all out until your entire body hurt from crying. It wasn’t the healthiest option, but it was healthier than keeping it all in.

The sound of the lock turning from the front door sent you shooting up from the couch and wiping your tears. A splitting pain shot through your head, making you wince, but you smiled seeing your boyfriend come home early. “Jisung, I didn’t expect you to come home for like...another four hours.”

“I missed you baby.” He said kissing your forehead. You tried to hide how much it hurt and quickly pecked his lips. After having dinner together and getting ready for bed, the pain in your head just kept getting worst. Jisung quickly fell asleep, but you lay tossing and turning next to him.

You stared up at the ceiling hours later, listening to the snores coming from your boyfriend beside you. Every way you turned hurt and the pain was so much that you wanted to cry. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Jisung asked drowsily after you gave up and sat against the backboard, clutching your head.

“Ji, it hurts...” 

He sat up, still half asleep, and wiped a few straggling tears. “What hurts, baby? What is it?” He tried to blink the heaviness away from his eyes. His tired eyes softened seeing you in pain.

“My head. It hurts so bad.” Without saying another word, Jisung got up from his side of the bed and walked around to yours. Gently he picked you up in his arms and carried you to the bathroom. Not bothering to turn on the lights your boyfriend carefully and sleepily set you on the counter, placing a kiss on your cheek. 

He turned on the shower, steam filling the room. With slow tired movements, he helped you undress before doing so himself. Tenderly Jisung carried you under the hot water and let you stand there, hands braced against the cold tile. His arms wrapped around your waist and he buried his face in your neck.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He muttered against your skin. 

The hot water was helping relieve the pressure in your brain, easing some of the pain. Jisung placed sleepy kisses on your shoulder, rubbing slow patterns on your stomach as the steaming water fell over you both. After a while, you turned around and buried your face in his neck. 

He stayed under the water with you until the pain had subsided.

Felix:

Sweat dripped down your neck. It felt like a thousand shards of glass were pressing against your brain. Felix was sleeping deeply beside you, laying on his stomach. His skin was cool to the touch compared to how hot your forehead felt. You couldn’t sleep. Every time you tried to get comfortable your head seemed to hurt even more. 

“Fuck...” You whispered clutching your head. 

You rested your head on Felix’s shoulder, letting his cool skin press against your head. It only helped a little bit, but you just focused on listening to your boyfriend’s slow breathing. Your hand pressed against his bare back, letting the coolness try and calm you. 

He stirred when he felt you wince. “Y/n, darling, what’s wrong?” He asked his deep voice slurring. He rolled over and you sat up in bed. He pulled you down onto his chest, his fingers gently stroking your hair. “Why aren’t you sleeping, baby?”

You winced feeling another jab of pain. “My head hurts too much.” His movement stopped and he moved his hand away, choosing to place it on your shoulder instead. “Felix, it hurts.” 

He nodded and carefully got out of bed, resting you against the headboard, “I know, darling.” He whispered. “I’ll be right back.” You watched your boyfriend walk out into the hall. A few seconds later you heard the thermostat kick in, making the room cooler. He returned with a glass of water, a wet cloth, and a pill bottle. 

“Here, take this.” He said handing you two pills and the glass of water. While you swallowed the medicine, he gently pressed the cloth to your head, pulling you into his lap. You rested your head against his shoulder, letting the cold cloth soothe the pain. “Drink the whole thing, darling. It will help.” 

Nodding you tipped the glass a little further, hearing the chunks of ice clink against the side of the cup. Felix moved the cloth to the back of your neck. Another sharp pain in your forehead made you wince. You pressed the cold glass to your skin and sighed. “Thank you, Lix.” You muttered before drinking more of the water. He gave you a sleepy smile and pulled you close.

“No problem at all, Y/n.”

Seungmin:

Seungmin knew that you tended to get migraines when you were stressed. It had happened ever since you were in high school. You could practically feel a headache coming on. It wasn’t too late at night, but you would usually have been asleep at this time. 

Knowing it was going to get worse any second, you went to the bathroom and checked for the medicine you needed. When you reached for the bottle you found it empty. Sharp pain in your temples made you brace yourself against the sink. “Oh, shit...”You whispered feeling sick to your stomach. Without your meds, the migraine would only get worse. 

The pain got exponentially worse, sending you to lean over the toilet, wrenching the contents of your stomach. You reached for your phone, dialing your boyfriend’s number.

“Y/n, hi! I’m just leaving JYP. What’s up, cutie?” Seungmin answered happily.

“Um...I’m having a little bit of an issue.” Another throbbing sensation pulsed throughout your skull. “Min can you pick me up some meds. I’m out and I need them.”

“Yeah, of course. Hold tight. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Seungmin hung up the phone. You flushed the toilet and tried to clean yourself up. The pain was getting worse and worse. Dragging yourself to the kitchen, you grabbed the first bag you saw in the freezer, holding it to your head.

“Y/n?” Seungmin called out into the dark apartment. 

“In the kitchen, babe.” The sound of Seungmin’s footsteps echoed through the space. You felt sure arms wrap around your stomach. Turning your head, you were met with his lips on yours. 

“I’ve got meds and I picked up coffee on the way.” He whispered pecking your lips again. “Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew with extra ice just for you.” You cupped his cheek, mustering up a smile. 

“Thank you so much, Min.” He handed you the coffee and the meds knowing you would feel better after having both.

“Always, Y/n. Anytime you need me.”

Jeongin:

Of course, you had to get a migraine right now. The one-time Jeongin was staying over. Carefully you got up from the bed, not wanting to wake your boyfriend. While you were no stranger to migraines and headaches, you hadn’t had one in a significant amount of time.

Tiptoeing into your bathroom you opened the medicine cabinet. You didn’t bother turning on the light knowing it would just make the pain worse. Your tired hands searched through the cabinet only to find that you were out of the pills you needed. 

A cry escaped your lips as the pain jumped higher. Quickly you covered your mouth, hoping that the sound didn’t wake Jeongin. Clutching your head, you grabbed a washcloth and dowsed it in cold water. Folding it, you placed it over your forehead and slid down the bathroom wall. 

Slow tears escaped as the pain spiked at random times. You let your body fall onto the floor and you curled your knees into your chest, holding the cold cloth to your head. The cool tile pressed against your cheek, easing the pain only a little bit.

“Y/n?” You heard Jeongin call softly. “Y/n, where are you? Are you okay, honey?” You winced, feeling another spike in pain.

“I’m in here, Innie.” You said weakly. You heard footsteps pad across the carpet of your bedroom until you saw the shadow of his figure from under the door. He politely knocked on the door. “You can come in, babe.” He opened the door, looking around before he found you on the floor.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” He said crouching on the floor and pushing a few pieces of wet hair out of your face. He immediately retracted his hand when you winced. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“No, Innie. It’s not your fault.” He relaxed and sat against the wall reaching for your hand. “I just get really bad migraines sometimes. I didn’t want to wake you.” He rubbed his thumb across your skin.

“Y/n you can always wake me up if you need me.” Carefully, he pulled me into his lap and didn’t even shy away when the other side of the cold washcloth pressed against his neck. “What can I do to help?”

“I’m out of the medicine I need. Could you run to the pharmacy and get some?” He nodded and slowly got up before taking the empty bottle and leaving the apartment. About twenty minutes later he came back and gave you the pills. Jeongin sat with you in his lap as the both of you waited for your pain to go away.

Requests are open my lovelies!! Just send an ask! <3

Masterlist

Also for more good fics check out @poeticallyspaghetti​

Her Masterlist

[alpacaparkaseok]

Mine

5. Draw me like one of your French girls

Genre: Min Yoongi x oc

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3.3k

At this point, I’m seriously considering commissioning my own fanart.

It all started the next morning at our first press release. Somebody had the bright idea to show me some fanart that’s been rolling in the past few weeks of a certain k-pop rapper and I. Not gonna lie...we look good together.

Too good.

Then again, everything about Min Yoongi has seemed pretty good since I woke up to a couple more texts from him this morning. I passed out after his late-night/early morning apology, but he sent another text not long after.

4:32 MYG: So does this mean I’m forgiven? Bong-cha made it sound like you enjoy holding grudges.

9:02 MYG: Morning. I hope everything goes well with you today...is it alright if I keep texting you?

9:02 MYG: Just so I can keep tabs on everything. I don’t want this to get too out of hand for you.

Obviously the poor man is just as worried about all of this as I am. I couldn’t help but give a sleepy chuckle when I woke up to his messages.

So far, I’ve done a wonderful job of ignoring how nice it felt to wake up to a good morning text.

I’ve also done a great job at keeping calm and breezing past any weird questions from the current press conference I’m in. That is, until a Korean reporter (I have a hunch they’re from Dispatch) pipes up not only with a question, but with visual aids!

“Cara, do you mind if I ask you a question? Would you like a translator?”

Reminding myself to be gracious and kind, I shake my head. “Go ahead. I should be alright without a translator, thank you.”

The reporter nods, shuffling forward until they pull a paper out of their file in hand. She gives me a sickly smile, passing the paper up to our security guard who does me the honor of bringing it right to my outstretched palm.

“This is one of the newest renderings, I was just wondering how you have been feeling about this entire situation?”

I already guessed what this was going to be about, but the picture in my hand confirms it.

It’s fanart.

To be honest, it’s very well done. It’s a watercolor, the artist placed us walking along a rainy sidewalk. Hand in hand, Yoongi’s gummy smile on full display while I look down at my toes.

Sebastian whistles beside me, clearly as in awe of the artwork as I am. Before me the reporter still wears her smile, waiting for a response. I pass the paper down the line, allowing Rhea to get a chance to admire the fanart.

Maybe it’s the boost of confidence I received upon reading Yoongi’s text this morning that has me grinning back at the reporter with a saccharine smile.

“Did you draw this? It’s very well done.”

Not everyone can understand Korean in this press conference, but the few that do start chuckling. The reporter blanches for a moment, smile faltering.

“N-no, but if you could answer the question-”

I’m sure I look very disappointed as I look down at her. She definitely works for dispatch; she practically reeks of it. Maybe that’s what gives me the boldness I need as I realize that I’m not even her direct target; Yoongi is.

Yoongi’s nice. I don’t think she is.

“Oh, everything is going fine. Honestly, I should get in touch with this artist. They’re very talented.”

The reporter’s eyebrows flick up, sensing a new method of attack. “Were you thinking of commissioning your own?”

“Honestly, I might consider it. Maybe it’ll make my aunts quit hounding me every Thanksgiving about my love life.”

With that, the paper is handed back to the security guard, but the reporter motions for him to keep it. Confused, he hands it back to me. I turn it over so I don’t get caught staring at it during the conference. That’s the last thing Yoongi or I need right now.

As the reporter takes her seat again, I can’t help but feel a little triumphant. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

🌙

12:22 ME: I never said you were forgiven, did I?

As soon as we get out of the press conference we are ushered into a van which takes us to another interview. I figure that now is as good a time as any to text Yoongi back, seeing that this morning I woke up late and was too flustered to come up with a response.

“Who are you texting?” Sebastian asks. “Is it your friend that always calls you?”

I consider lying to him for a moment, but realize that it might actually be nice for him to know. He can keep me from being unrealistic when I start to fangirl.

He may also help me to keep that promise I silently made a while ago: to not go so easy on Yoongi. Right now, it’s proving harder than expected to dislike him.

“Nosy.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “You’re grinning at your phone like an idiot, that only happens when you get texts from me.”

“Ha! Right. It’s a secret...kind of. Don’t tell anyone.”

“I’ll try my best not to.”

Taking an unnecessarily big breath, I spill my secret that I’ve kept for approximately 12 hours.

“It’s Yoongi.” When there’s no immediate reaction from him, I backpedal. “Also known as Suga?”

Before Sebastian can respond the ping of my phone pulls my attention away.

12:26 MYG: Oh good, you responded. I was getting worried you were actually mad. So is it alright if I keep texting you? I don’t want to mess with your schedule.

“You’re smiling again.”

I look up to see an annoyed Sebastian Stan. He’s not very good at sharing attention, and it would appear that Yoongi is no exception.

“How strange, I didn’t realize.”

12:27 ME: That’s fine.

12:27 ME: But I am mad!!

12:28 MYG: Hahaha sure

“Cara, we’re here.” Sebastian says as he clambers out of the car. I follow after him, pocketing my phone.

There’s a few cameras outside waiting for us, but we’re able to make it inside the building without too much fuss. Once we make it into the room where we’re supposed to have one of our interviews, Sebastian pulls a paper out of his back pocket.

“What’s that?”

He smirks at me, unfolding the paper. It’s the fanart from earlier. I didn’t even realize that he’d pocketed it.

“Tell Suga I say hi, at least.” He poses with the papers just below his chin, giving the best puppy dog eyes he can muster up. It’s rather convincing, if I’m being honest.

“You weirdo,” I mumble as I snap a photo. I’m quick to send it off to Yoongi, captioning it.

12:37 ME: Sebastian says hello.

Our interviewer is just about to come into the room when I receive a response. Not having the self-restraint to put my phone away, I quickly take a look. Sebastian peers over my shoulder, curious as well.

12:40 MYG: Winter Soldier!!!

12:41 MYG: Hi. Did he draw that?

I cackle, quickly translating the message. Sebastian looks appalled. “I have better things to do than draw fanart!”

“Yeah, like write fanfiction, right?”

He grins at me. “Obviously.”

12:42 ME: No, but he says he’s writing fanfiction.

12:42 ME: We’re about to start an interview rn but I’ll tell him to send you his rough draft later. 😏

Interviews pass, and it isn’t until I’m finishing up dinner that my phone pings with another message from Yoongi. I nearly impale Sebastian with my fork as I lunge for my charging phone; he’d come into my hotel room to eat dinner with me.

“Watch it!” Sebastian grunts, shoveling food into his mouth at an alarming rate. We were promised lunch by Rhea earlier but it ended up just being a small snack as she was whisked away by a long-lost friend. The two of us managed to control our hunger for as long as possible, but Sebastian wasted no time calling up some food for us before we even got back to the hotel.

We barely beat the delivery boy here. He wasn’t all that surprised that we were American. Sebastian had tried out some very choppy Cantonese. What did end up surprising him was that he was delivering a meal to the Winter Soldier. I was able to sneak into my room undetected while the boy’s eyes were bugging out as Sebastian signed his hat.

“Sorry,” I mumble around my food.

9:12 MYG: I’m still waiting for the rough draft.

I translate the message to Sebastian, who cackles and promises to get started on it as soon as possible.

9:14 ME: Sorry, Sebastian said he’s still trying to write it. I’ll let you know when it’s ready!

9:15 MYG: That’s alright. I’ll be patient.

9:15 MYG: I saw a clip from your press conference today.

My stomach lurches as I realize what clip it was that he probably saw. Does he think I’m some crazy fangirl now? I mean, I might be. But he doesn’t need to know that.

9:18 ME: I didn’t get you in trouble, did I?

Sebastian notices my change in expression and shoots me a worried look. “Everything alright?” I shrug.

“Yeah...I just hope I didn’t get him in trouble with what I said at the press conference today. I think that reporter was trying to go against him somehow.”

“He’s a big boy. Did he say anything about it?”

I look back down at the messages even though I already know what he said. My stomach lurches again as I see the three little dots at the bottom of the screen.

“No, not really. He just said he saw a clip or something. He’s typing right now, though.”

9:20 MYG: I thought I was the worrier. No, you didn’t. How was the rest of your day?

“What’d he say?” Sebastian grabs our cartons of food, tossing them into the wastebasket.

“He’s just…”

“Are you blushing?!” My friend stares at me from across the room, eyes wide. “No way! You like him!”

“No! No I don’t!”

“Yes you do, don’t lie to me! You’re so into him!” Sebastians hurries back over grinning wide. “Wow, he must be a good texter.”

That really is helping my blush. “Nooo, he’s not. He’s just nice. That’s it. It’s just fun having someone nice to talk to, you know? He feels really bad about everything and - Sebastian quit it - and it’s just sweet of him to care. That’s it.”

Sebastian stops looking at me with his puppy dog eyes and leans back in his chair, a contemplative look overtaking his features. “I thought I was nice to talk to.”

I pause for a second, breath getting caught in my throat. “Y-you are. I didn’t mean it like that.”

He shakes his head, giving me an award-winning smile. “No, I know. Aren’t you going to respond?”

“Oh! Yeah!” I focus on my phone again. There’s an uneasy feeling rising in me at Sebastian’s comment, but I brush it off for now. He’s always been bad at sharing his friends. He’s the same with Anthony Mackey, I’ve seen it up close.

9:25 ME: True, I’ll let you worry. My day was good, just finished up dinner. How was yours?

“There, I-” I look up proudly only to find Sebastian’s chair empty and the door clicking shut. “...I did it.”

MYG: It was great. Got lots of work done.

MYG: Have you decided if you’re going to come to the festival or not? Also, Bong-cha says hi.

ME: Wow, she can’t even tell me herself. No respect. No, I honestly didn’t even think about it today...but I’m pretty sure we’re all going either way.

MYG: Haha she’s not happy with your comment.

MYG: She’s reading over my shoulder, I promise I’m not reading our conversation out loud. Is your director making you go?

I just miss the chance to respond as my phone lights up with an incoming call.

“Bong-cha, quit reading my conversations you little weirdo.”

“Hey, how’s it going with you? I’m great, thanks for asking.”

“Are you still in the room with everyone?”

“No, just left. You should see Yoongi right now, though.”

“Why?”

“He looks like a kid in a candy store every time he gets a text from you. It’s adorable.”

“Yah!”

My friend’s cackle soars through the phone, and I swat at the air as though I could somehow get her to stop.

“Please tell me you guys are coming to the festival.” Bong-cha’s sudden change in tone has me pausing, chewing on my lip.

“We are. Why?”

“Come stay with me!” Bong-cha shouts. I jump up, a grin already working its way onto my face. “It’ll be just like old times. And, I was looking at the schedule you sent me...there’s a couple of nights where you’re done relatively early. We could go do something fun!”

I sigh, rubbing my temples. My phone is buzzing with incoming texts, but I ignore them for now. “Yeah, that’ll be fun. I’m not sure if I can come stay with you-”

“C’mon,” Bong-cha whines. “I never get to see you anymore. We’ll make it work! Oh, I’ve gotta go, Tae brought Yeontan. But let me know!”

With that, Bong-cha cuts the line and leaves me on the other side caught between excitement at seeing my friend and dread at having to come face to face with Yoongi. Texting is one thing; but actually spending time with him?

“Just be his friend,” I mumble to myself. Settling down, I attack my food once more. The space where Sebastian sat before makes me furrow my brows.

What’s going on with him? I mean sure, we’re really good friends. But we still see each other constantly, why would he be so possessive?

It’s probably all just in my head. My phone light up with the texts I received a couple of minutes ago while I was still on the phone, and this time I physically cannot restrain the smile that comes through as I realize Yoongi is still texting me.

MYG: Really no pressure about the festival. I know Bong-cha really wants to see you, but please don’t feel like you have to come and hang out with us.

MYG: We’re not even that cool, anyways.

MYG: Are you just hanging out with Sebastian tonight??

I stare down at my phone for a moment, the smile being wiped from my face. Plopping down heavily on my bed, I close my eyes and power off my phone.

Yoongi is nice. So nice, apparently, that I can’t even tell now if he’s trying to get me to stay away. The fact is simple: he’s a nice man who has a reputation to uphold and is trying to keep everyone happy. That includes me.

He’s nice for texting me and trying to make sure I’m doing alright. Any decent human being would do that. But there’s also the fact that I’m new to this game in the spotlight and I know that I’m not going to be able to keep my feelings out of this.

I take a moment to breathe, forcing myself to push away the impending panic that sets in. This is no way to live, and I know that I’m only setting myself up for heartbreak when someday I don’t wake up to a good morning text from Yoongi.

It’s only been one day of communicating and I can already feel myself getting too attached.

Powering on my phone again, I flinch at the new texts.

9:17 MYG: Bong-cha just told me her evil plan. 😩 Did she tell you about it on the phone?

9:31 MYG: Sorry if you’re busy! Just text me back when you can. Let me know about your plans for the festival, too.

Even though I’m itching to text him back and waste away the rest of the night talking to him, there’s another more pressing matter I have to face. Quickly getting up and leaving my phone there in order to fight the temptation, I grab my room key and head a few rooms down. A quiet knock and a few seconds later and Sebastian is opening up his door.

He looks down at me warily, and I feel almost like we had a fight because of the way he’s looking at me. Emitting a loud sigh, he shakes it off and grins down at me in a way that makes me question if I even saw the previous expression at all.

“Hey,” I mumble out weakly. Moving past him into his room, he follows silently behind me.

“Hey…?”

Without another word I land face first onto his bed, the action pulling a laugh from him. Good. His laugh reminds me that this is real. This friendship is real, and Sebastian for all his annoying teasing, is a true friend.

Bong-cha is miles away and busy. She’s also biased. So Sebastian is the next best thing.

“I’m freaking out,” the pillow muffles my words but I know he hears me loud and clear. The mattress dips on one side as Sebastian settles onto it, and a moment later a hesitant hand begins kneading the flesh at my shoulders. I let out a satisfied sigh.

“What’s going on?” His tone is gentle, and the sound of it nearly tugs some tears out of my eyes.

“I’m pathetic, Sebastian.” I clutch his pillow and bury my face farther into it. “I’m so pathetic! I’ve literally never met the man before in my life, and I’ve spent the last 24 hours sending a few texts back and forth and I already feel like I’d jump off a cliff for him!”

Sebstian’s hands pause in their kneading for a fraction of a second before continuing on. “I told you you liked him.”

I turn to look at him, and again I catch that wary gaze before he drops it. “Really? ‘I told you so’? Rude. I need help, Sebastian. It’s never going to happen, he’s just being nice, and I just need to be cordial and get through this. Right?”

He nods, contemplating a bit. “Sure. He seems like a great guy. But at the end of the day, the two of you are just caught up in a weird media frenzy and that’s it. Is that what you want me to say?”

“I guess.” I huff, flipping onto my back as I stare up at the ceiling. “Why do I like him though? Am I just desperate?”

Sebastian stands up and laughs. “No way. If you were desperate you would be falling for me, not some inconvenient, crazy famous kpop star.”

Somehow his words make me laugh, the feeling easing the panic a bit. “You’re right, I guess.”

🌙

I end up passing out in Sebastian’s room only to wake up at 3 am and find myself a little too close for comfort to my co-star. Gently untangling myself from his mess of arms and legs, I sneak out of his room and back to my own.

Half-asleep and looking the part, I groan at my reflection in the mirror as I try to brush my teeth. Pointing at my reflection with my toothbrush, I give myself a pep talk.

“You are not pathetic,” pause to spit, “you’re not desperate,” rinse out the brush, “you’re just friendly. You’re practicing making new friends, and Yoongi as well as all of BTS are a part of that. That’s it.”

So when I finally settle down into my cold and very empty bed, I don’t feel very guilty sending Yoongi a late-night text. He never texted me again after the last one I saw, and I easily brush off the feeling of disappointment and replace it with relief.

3:13 ME: Yeah, we’re going. No, I have no idea what the evil plan is. Do we need to come up with a counter-plan? And sorry I never responded...I was busy annoying Sebastian and left my phone in my room. Good morning! This is payback for your late texts last night!

I fall asleep easily after that, double checking that my phone is on silent before snuggling deep down into my pillows.

Honestly, what do I even have to worry about? Everything is going great with promotions, the movie is finished and should be well received, and in a couple of days I’ll get to go see Bong-cha and make new friends!

Into the silence, I can’t help but laugh. I’m not dumb enough to believe that everything will go as planned.

Especially not as my dreams take over and the only thing I can dream of is a man in a black suit, turning around to greet me over and over again. I can never quite see his face, but somehow I know him.

Even in my unconscious state, I lie to myself and say that it’s not Min Yoongi.

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Taglist is open! Ready to head to Seoul next time?

taglist: @taylorroe3 @eusticenatalie @agustneeds @oceandeep​ @prdshobi​

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 08 + 09.11.20 lbs

08.11.20

lmaoooooooo i really love the ice cold way siya operates in. truly a raisinghania sib!

“siya chal sakti hai!!!” behen, iss ghar mein tumhare dimaag ki alaava sab kuch chalta hai.

dadi trying to cheer raja band baja hua beta up with his favt. chole bhature. he doesn't seem like the kind who'd eat that kinda food, but ok.

CHOLE BHATURE ARE NOT CHEERING HIM UP. MATLAB MAAMLA SERIOUS HAIIIIII.

lmao he's literally twisting and turning in place like kids do when they have a tantrum. i mean, i like it. it shows a more human side to the character, ki just how much anguish and helplessness he's feeling.

dadi like babe, you can't control everything in life, stop being such a bloody control freak ki things not going your way turn you like this.

blah blah anguished rant on how he lost something so important to him.

dadi giving cliche ~~~if it's meant to be yours, it'll come back to you~~~ advice. which is kinda working on him. huh. all kindsa out of sorts behaviour.

“jab tuney kisi ke saath galat nahi kiya hai, toh tere saath galat kyun hoga?” uh okkkkkkkkkkk, that's not how life works. bad shit happens to good ppl all the time. also, he's done lotsa galat shit ok. what did riddhima do for this fucker to paralyse her huh?????? YEH SAB USSI KA NATEEJA HAI. BHUGAT AB.

carbs therapy. BEST HAI. ALWAYS WORKS. IT'S SCIENCE, BITCHES.

dadi saying why don't you talk to riddhima about your issues, and lol he's whining about she dgaf about him coz she left him alone last night when he asked her not to.

dadi left praying ki hey bhagwaan these two fucks’ relationship is in your hands now, this is beyond human interference.

kabir being informed of new developments and accusation of kidnapping ragini is being heaped on siya. BASED ON WHAT EVIDENCE YOU STUPID TWIT??????? THAT SHE CAN WALK??????? SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

“mujhe usse vansh ke aage expose karna hoga.” LMAO BITCH EXPOSE YOURSELF FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

“tum kya mujhe expose karogi? expose toh main tumhe karungi!” YES SIYAAAAAAAAA FUCK  HER UPPPPPPPPPP

NOICE. WE LOVE A FIERCEASS SISTER WHO’S READY TO KILL FOR HER SIBLINGS. ESP. WHEN IT’S THE SCARY BIG BROTHER WHO’S EVERYONE’S PROTECTOR.

siya saying she just miraculously got cured a few days ago, and was waiting to surprise everyone. sounds sus, but whatever.

but also what kinda terrribleasssssss physiotherapist is riddhima that she didn’t even identify her patient’s progress?????

LMAO SIYA POL KHOLING OF VANSH BHAIYYA SAYING HE MADE HER DO ALL THE SHADY MASK SHIT. “TO KEEP RIDDHIMA SAFE”. haaaan behen, khooooob safe rakha tumne, baar baar behosh karke. pehle se hi iska dimaag nahi chalta, now you’ve managed to give her some kinda degenerative brain disease.

i love how vansh didn’t bother to ask siya how she stopped riddhima’s plans and knocked her out multiple times if she’s in a wheelchair. there’s literally only one person in a wheelchair in this house?!?!?!!!!!! wouldn’t riddhima KNOW who the person in the mask is???? god vansh. you’re such a dumbass.

lellllllllllllllllllllllllll i am livingggggggggg for siya reading riddhima to filth with a knife in her hand THIS IS THE BEST SCENE OF THIS SHOW YET. esp in her small, child-like voice, it’s fucking amazing.

riddhima admitted to being a spy, AND SIYA RECORDED IT ALSO. OMFG SHE’S MY NEW FAVE CHARACTER I LOVE HER THE MOST.

i wish vansh was the person he is to siya, instead of the fucker he actually is. she literally thinks the worldddddddddddd of him. ugh, i am so soft for this relationshippppppp.

but i also wanna know what the ishani/siya relationship is like? we hardlyyyyyy see them interact. like, we even see aryan push her wheelchair around sometimes, but ishani neverrrrrrr interacts with siya. why????

ugh riddhima managed to convince her that she really cares for vansh and is trying to do the right thing. she’s literally asking her to kill her rn if she doesn’t trust her. baby sis you’re farrrrrrrrr too trusting.

“mera dimaag tumpe trust karne se rok raha hai, riddhima, par jiss dil ne tumhe bhaabi bola haina, woh tumhe ek mauka dena chahta hai. ek aakhri mauka. iss baar mera bharosa mat todna. 24 ghante hai tumhare paas. apni taqdeer badal sako toh badal lo warna yeh audio main vansh bhaiyya ko suna doongi.” SERIOUSLY, WHERE WERE THEY HIDING THIS MOST SAYAANI CHARACTER OF THE SHOW TILLLLLL NOW????????!

riddhima has a condition for siya too. i think i know what it is.

omg vansh IS COLLAR PAKADKE YELLING AT ANGRE IN THE WORST WAYYYYYYY POSSIBLE. god vansh, you’re honestly the fucking worstttttttttttttttttttt. angre you need to take up work with someone else, istg, you don’t deserve this shit. kabir treats his sidekick so much better. yet another point in the kitty for kabir >>>>>> vansh.

seriously, why would you wanna blindfold this dude when he’s in THIS mood????? save it for the bedroom, sis.

empty wheelchair dekh ke he’s yelling at everrrrrrrryone ki how could they leave siya alone somewhere. god. i can’t imagine having to live with such a toxic personality.

everyone in the house is soooooo happy for siya. like, aryan’s not beaming as much as the others, but he does look kinda pleased. BECAUSE SIYA IS BEST CHARACTERRRRRRR OF THIS SHOW EVERYONE LOVESSSS HERRRRR.

oh my heart, i am so softttttttt for sibling shit like this. he’s hugging her with suchhhhhhhhhhhh fierceeee affection, i’m crying happy tearsssssss.

heart eyes for riddhima who supposedly cured her. pls. she did nothing. jo bhi karna tha, siya ne khud kiya hai. iss ridhimma manhoos ko jasoosi se kab fursat mili to do PT with siya and cure her???

siya being gracious and giving credit though. ugh, honestly, this show and this family don’t deserve siya.

lmao she’s saying vansh brought riddhima in though, so actually allll the credit goes to bhaiyya for intimidating this poor woman into treating his sister against her will.

THE AFFECTION. THE SHEER MAGNITUDE OF HIS LOVE FOR HERRRR. I CRIEEE. THIS IS THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS TO ME IN THIS GODFORSAKEN SHOW.

anupriya giving some fakeass congrats. i hope siya tells vansh that she was the one who pushed her down the stairs a while back. aur kuch nahi toh just for that vansh is gonna kill her dead.

riddhima and vansh still all tense and sad about the ragini thing. OUFF JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT YOU FUCKS.

I LOVE HER. I FUCKING LOVE HER. BEST RAISINGHANIA HAI YEH.

———————————————————————

09.11.20

riddhima back at kabir’s to try and find ragini. ughhhhhhhhh i’m just so done with this nonsense. we already KNOW that kabir and anupriya still have her based on the precap from like 2, 3 days ago.

lol kabir is so pissed at riddhima and her dimaag chalaana. a mood we ALL share.

kabir trying to turn riddhima against siya and riddhima’s like NOOOO SHE COULD NEVER, “USKI AANKHEIN USKI AWAAAZ SAAF SAAF KEH RAHI THI KI WOH SACH BOL RAHI HAI!” uh huh, yeah, like kabir’s are rn????? and vansh’s were before he paralysed you? just a suggestion i’m throwing out there: is it possible that perhaps, just maybe, you’re just very fucking stupid, riddhima, and tend to trust people too easily????

OUFF I’M SO BORED WITH THIS SCENE. we already know from the precap that ragini will knock down a vase but riddhima will never find out what caused it and kabir will make some lame excuse she’ll believe. FWDING TO NEXT.

JESUS CHRISTTTTTTTT, SIYA IS JUST WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE RANDOMLY LISTENING TO THAT AUDIO CLIP OF RIDDHIMA’S CONFESSION. AND SHE WALKS RIGHT INTO VANSH, WHO’S LIKE HUH, WHAT’S THAT RIDDHIMA IS SAYING?????

siya brushes it off saying its exercise stuff for her PT. sure. uh huh.

OH MY HEART HE GOT HER HEEEEEEELS, WHICH SHE’S ALWAYSSSSSSS WANTED. THIS BHAIYYA-BABY RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA TAKE ME DOWN GODDAMNITTTT. ITNE DIN BAAAAAAAAAAAD ITNI ACHCHI SIBLING FEELS MILI HAI ITV SEEEEEEE.

bhaiyya knows baby enough ki she’s hiding something from himmm. oh noeeeeeeeeeee.

damn, siya a real one. didn’t give out riddhima’s secret coz she wants to give her a fair chance. again, this show does not deserve this character. she’s too good for it.

she says she just believes in him and knows he’ll find whoever murdered mom. 

SOFT. SO SOFT. MY HEART IS SO FULL WHENEVER THESE TWO SHOW LOVE TO EACH OTHERRRRR.

idhar ragini ki marammat shuru. y’all are just exhausting me with this bs. isse maarna hai toh maaro already. ainvayi mein time waste.

oh dangggggggg, ragini batting for riddhima. saying i know she’ll fuck y’all up. dang, we love the sisterhood feels of this episode!

“aap ke liye SPECIAL INTEZAAM kiya hai maine.” said with the most polite customer service obsequiousness. I LOVE THIS PSYCHOPATH THE MOSTTTTTTTTTT.

ragini warning them that once vansh finds out everything, they’re as good as dead. wow, spunky!!!! dude i like her as a female lead better than stupid fucking riddhima. 

“hmmmmmm, you’re right. lekin usse batayega kaun???” honestly, why do i love his deranged ass so much????

anyway mishra has been delegated the task of stashing her somewhere else i guess. so it’s settled that mishra knows he’s not working for the CBI or whatever and is just a hired goon.

dadi is organizing YET ANOTHER POOJA. lordddddd.

this riddhima and her dumbass mandir jaana excuse that she uses constantly.

“bhagwaan tum jaisi bahu sab ko de!” OMFG DADI PLS, GOD FORBID. ISSE ACHCHA AAPKE BETE KUNWAARE MARR JAAYE!

ugh dadi your bloody pota needs a fucking therapist, it isn’t in riddhima’s hands to fix his 1001 mental issues.

great, mangalsutra almost broke. foreshadowing.

ughhhhh mummy managed to steal the memory card from aryan. FUCKING IDIOT I THOUGHT YOU HAD PUT IT IN THE BLOODY BANK ALREADY, BUT NO. HE WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO IT AND TALKING ABOUT IT LOUDDDDDDDDLY ON THE PHONE. jesusssss, why he so fuckinggggg stupid????

oh now vansh is exclaiming GREATTTTTTT JOB ANGREEEE as if he didn’t tell him to GTFO, THE VERY SIGHT OF YOU DISGUSTS ME yesterday. fuck, i really hate vansh as anything but a brother to siya.

aaaaaaand riddhima was standing behind him and he turned around and in a veryyyyyyy contrived move got his watch caught in her mangalsutra and broke it.

sis freaking about THE APSHAGUN!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s like arre nahi achcha shagun hai, angre got the cctv footage now i’ll know who kidnapped ragini! and sis is like OH GOD NO THE BAD LUCK IS STARTING ALREADY I’M SO DEADDDDDDD

“toh main tumhe kho dungi.”

lmao his face. literally the white guy blinking meme.

god she’s having a freakout about how their shaadi and rishta is in khatra. BITCH THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MS AND INSTEAD THE MOUNTAIN OF LIES YOU ARE SITTING ON AND YOUR EK DARJAN KE INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES AS INDIVIDUALS.

”tum jaanti ho riddhima, tumahra ek ek aansoon mere liye kitna keemti hain? aisa lagta hai jaise mere dil ke ek tukde ko tod ke alag kar diya ho.”

OH YEAH????? DIDN’T FEEL ANYTHINGGGGG WHEN YOU PARALYSED HER HUH????????? IT’S GONNA BE A LONGASSSSS TIME BEFORE I GET OVER THAT, BITCH BOY.

yeah yeah ok this is a nice moment and all. WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS DUDE, HUH?????? WHY’D YOU HAVE TO RUIN ALLLLLLLLLL THE GOOD WILL YOU BUILT UP BY KARWA CHAUTH IN ONEEEEEEE MOMENTTTTTTT?????? fuck, i hate you tellywood men and the shit they put my stupid heart through.

only bappa ki aarti shall fix things now. based on the promo and BTS i’ve seen, things about to get reallllllly realllllllly bad but............ lol let’s wait and watch.

ragini managed to sneak mishra’s phone outta his pocket. SEE????? SO ENTERPRISING!!!!!! I LIKE HER SO MUCH MORE THAN RIDDHIMA. GOD VANSH, THIS IS THE GIRL YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. SHE’S REALLY THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

she’s callllllllllling vanshhhh. BUT AARTI KI WAJAAH SE HE CAN’T HEAR THE PHONEEEEEE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

here, have some dhaarmik #couple goals to take the edge off the anxiety till the next episode.

———————————————————————

precap: omfg ragini got through to riddhima and she almost told her that kabir is behind kidnapping her, but kabir got to her and attacked her from the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOUBLE OMFG SIYA OVERHEARD MUMMY ON THE PHONE BRAGGING ABOUT KILLING THEIR MOM AND CALLS VANSH TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT!!!!! LIKE SHE TOLD HIM THE NAME ALL CLEARLY AND THAT SHE HEARD IT FIRSTHAND!!!!!!!! VANSH SEEMS TO BE GIVING NO REACTION THO????????????

TELL ME THAT BOTH THESE PHONE CALLS WERE NOT MADE ON SOME FUCKING GHATIYA NETWORK LIKE IDEA AND THE REQUIRED PPL HEAR EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO!!!!!!!! (high hopes, i know. 😔😔😔)

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Liam

Rio: Erm, hi, what the actual fuck

Liam: how can I help you

Rio: Okay no, do not try to be cute with me right now

Rio: How do you even know my sister

Rio: do you

Liam: we’re both taken, ain’t we, and your sister wouldn’t like me being cute with anyone else rn

Liam: it’s a long story, I dunno why you’d wanna hear it from me instead of her

Rio: Believe me, I am trying to contact her

Rio: Do you really think this is appropriate?

Liam: you’re gonna tell me why you don’t think it is, that’s why you’re here

Liam: not my pov, yeah though

Rio: I’m here to ask you what you’re doing and why, both of which you’ve avoided answering so yeah, that’s not worrying AT ALL

Liam: you can see what’s happening and as she’s your sister I assumed you’d see why anyone would think it’s worth doing

Rio: You realise how that makes you sound, yeah

Rio: So you’ve just hit up a random girl who’s two years younger than you because you think she’s fit

Liam: you’re twisting it to make me sound like that bc you’ve already decided how this convo is gonna go, like I said

Liam: I didn’t know anything about her when we first started talking but am I mad she ended up being fit, no

Rio: If you had anything to say for yourself then I wouldn’t have to fill in the blanks

Rio: You aren’t exactly making it sound like you’re anything but guilty

Rio: Did you start talking to her or her to you?

Liam: [a screenshot of her post on the ARG thread and your reply because of course you have that]

Liam: guilty of what, having a common interest

Rio: Aren’t those places anonymous

Rio: So, what, she’s just giving out her info to anyone on the internet?

Rio: Great

Liam: she’s smarter than that

Rio: She’s my sister, I know what she’s like

Rio: Just say what you mean and what happened, it shouldn’t be difficult if you have nothing to hide

Liam: then you know she made we work for knowing more about her and I did

Rio: And you like her, do you

Liam: why are you phrasing it like I shouldn’t, she’s incredible

Rio: I’m not

Rio: that’s twisting it

Rio: but you’re an older lad, she’s never had a boyfriend

Rio: I just don’t think this is ideal for her first experience

Liam: what’s better about a lad from her year, I’ll look after her

Rio: It isn’t really about the age, it’s about experience

Liam: I dunno what Lex has told you but it sounds like she’s lying

Rio: I know Lex too

Liam: it didn’t work with her, maybe she’s still annoyed about it

Rio: She hasn’t said anything against you, FYI

Liam: she’s your mate, you wouldn’t really say if she had

Rio: It’s not about Lexie anyway

Rio: I still don’t understand how you and Edie started talking, outside of the forum thing

Liam: how we are, we found out who each other was and moved it here

Rio: Right…

Rio: And you have things in common, that’s more than how it seems

Rio: Can you like, not break her heart

Rio: Because then we will have a problem

Liam: we won’t ever have a problem

Rio: I know she looks and acts mature, but she’s not

Rio: well, she’s still just a kid, you know what I mean

Liam: she’s not a kid, but she 👀 at the world how they do, sometimes, not having that in common is why I wouldn’t hurt her

Rio: Does that not put you off?

Liam: it’s not a - it’s a +

Rio: She doesn’t need a protector, that isn’t your job

Liam: it’s not your job to tell me what she needs, I know it’s not me

Rio: What do you think she needs?

Liam: I’m not gonna out her like that

Rio: What does that even mean

Liam: my thoughts are coming from what she’s said to me, maybe it’s private or maybe you already know, but if you don’t, I’m not betraying her trust

Rio: If there’s something wrong or she’s in trouble you need to tell me

Liam: she’s not, and there’s nothing wrong, she could just be happier

Rio: Well couldn’t everyone

Liam: everyone don’t get the chance

Rio: I’m not going to rail on you if you think you can make her happy

Rio: that’s sweet and I’m not a massive bitch

Rio: I’m just a little shocked

Liam: me too when it ended up being her, it’s a massive thread

Rio: I’m not trying to out her, or anything like that and if you say anything about her it’s over for you

Rio: but have you considered she searched you out specifically?

Rio: She’s really smart

Liam: why me

Rio: Come on, Liam

Rio: She clearly thinks you’re amazing, and she’s not the only one interested

Liam: she was as surprised

Rio: Okay, if you’re sure

Rio: You don’t know anything about what’s been happening to Lexie, do you?

Liam: I’m camping with my dad, what’s happening with Lexie

Rio: Edie hasn’t mentioned anything?

Liam: what’s it gotta do with Edie

Rio: Hopefully nothing, don’t worry

Liam: you’re seriously not gonna fill in the blanks

Rio: Ha, the level we are not at there yet

Rio: I believe you, so the Lexie stuff is clearly unrelated to this, you don’t need to know

Liam: she did message me asking questions that made no sense, so if she thinks I did something I wanna know

Rio: Someone did do something, she’ll work it out

Rio: it isn’t my information to spread around, that doesn’t seem sensible

Liam: if she’s spreading round it’s me, it’s uncool of you to not give me any info at all

Rio: She isn’t

Rio: she’s looking at all eventualities and you are her ex, that’s how your name came up, she hasn’t told people it was you, by any means

Liam: the timing is funny, I get a new girlfriend and she’s trying to make me look bad

Rio: I can see that

Rio: but there’s been videos, things left at her house

Rio: I don’t think it was you, I’m not saying that, but she’s shown me

Rio: What would that mean, she’d done it herself? idk, also sounds funny

Rio: it’s clearly just an unrelated weirdo and the timing is a coincidence

Liam: she should be more careful what she posts, if some random has found her house

Rio: It must be someone else from her real life

Rio: even peripherally

Rio: I don’t know, but you’re fine, she’s not talking shit about you

Rio: even if she’s a little salty, she’s not going to stoop that low, truly

Liam: I don’t think she’s still hung up on me or something, my ego’s not crazy big

Rio: She liked you, but it was a while ago now

Rio: and she isn’t going to say or do anything to hurt my sister in front of me, or behind my back if she knows what’s good so

Liam: she came across happy for us in my comments, but I never could read her

Rio: No?

Rio: well, reading her isn’t your priority now, right

Liam: it’ll make me sound like a dick if I admit it wasn’t ever enough of a priority for me, but you clearly respect honesty

Rio: It’s okay, you weren’t well-suited, it’s not a crime

Rio: it would be more problematic if you were still trying to make things work now

Rio: sorry, I should say I never thought you were a match, and I’ve told her so I’m not being two-faced by dropping that here

Liam: I shouldn’t have done it

Rio: I don’t blame you

Rio: neither does Lex, I’m sure

Liam: would she forgive me if I can find out who’s doing this to her, it’s not the same, but I helped Edie with some lads in her dms, I might be able to

Rio: You did?

Rio: I didn’t even know

Rio: but then, she hadn’t mentioned you until today’s announcement so, I guess that’s an us thing

Rio: I mean, yeah, I’m sure she’d be really grateful for that; you really think you can?

Liam: I can try, Edie’s busy getting ready for a show and it’s fucking boring here

Rio: Is it just you and your dad?

Liam: yeah

Rio: I feel for you

Liam: we got off on the wrong foot at the start and I’m not trying to go back to there, I wanna be clear that, like, this has been quick and I know how it looks

Rio: I appreciate that

Rio: I’m also not trying to start anything here, it isn’t personal with regards to you, it only was because she’s my little sister

Rio: But if you like her and she likes you, then this is fine

Liam: she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met and I know loads of people

Rio: She is

Rio: She’s special, even if I’m biased

Liam: I’ve told her she can do better but she don’t believe me

Rio: If she wants you, then I support her

Rio: It’s not about ideals, or some other in-theory notion like that

Liam: it was about the view you had of me that you got from somewhere, apparently not Lexie

Rio: You said yourself, it looks suspect

Rio: she hadn’t mentioned you until this and I had no idea you knew each other

Liam: but if it was only that you wouldn’t be throwing out lines about experience like there’s something you wanna say about me specifically

Rio: Do I need to spell that out?

Rio: I just meant she’s 14 and hasn’t had a boyfriend before, you’re 16 and have had girlfriends… that’s all I was saying

Rio: if that was your intention, I wouldn’t want that for her

Rio: but you’ve made it clear it’s more than that

Liam: no I’ve not, if there were any girls between her and your sister the Lexie thing wouldn’t be as weird as it is

Rio: Oh, sorry, I just assumed

Liam: I still don’t think she’s doing it herself it’s just the timing that’s making me ??!

Rio: You don’t think it’s Edie, do you?

Rio: I didn’t want to say before because I’m sure she’d be furious at me for even suggesting that but

Liam: even if I could think of a why, she wouldn’t have had time, with setting the show up and this ARG we’re making, that’s the shit I know about, there’s gonna be loads of surprises she’s sorted for when I get back too

Rio: I am not going to pretend I remember what ARG stands for but that’s a relief

Rio: I really do not want to come at her with that energy

Rio: You guys are sweet, it’s nice to see

Liam: you should come to see her perform, Lex too if she wants

Rio: When is it? She never tells me anything

Liam: [the date and the place]

Liam: she wasn’t gonna go but I’ve never seen her on stage

Rio: Typical, I was meant to be in London then

Rio: I’ll see if we can swap and be here instead

Liam: there’ll be others if not

Rio: She’s not going to invite me herself, at least this time I can say you did

Liam: cool, throw me under the bus, that’s fine 😏

Rio: it’s the honeymoon phase, she isn’t going to get mad at you 😉

Liam: 🥺 will work

Rio: I don’t want to hear about your tactics, thank you

Liam: don’t worry, it ain’t what I’m gonna really do

Rio: I should hope not!

Rio: would not be the move to tell me about it

Liam: I probably shouldn’t have talked to you this long, if she don’t tell you things

Rio: She doesn’t NOT tell me things

Liam: no massive secrets implied by me for a second time

Rio: It’s a part of growing up, right

Rio: you don’t tell your parents everything either

Liam: how I grew up isn’t the standard, I dunno

Rio: It must’ve made you all close

Liam: we still didn’t tell our parents anything, must be universal

Rio: I think so

Rio: what they don’t know, eh

Liam: yeah

Rio: Well, I’ll let you get back to not loving camping then

Liam: and I’ll let you get back to trying to contact Edie

Rio: I’ll see her at home

Rio: Can’t avoid me forever

Liam: I couldn’t bring her, next time 📴👋

Rio: It’s a bit soon for sleepovers, honey

Rio: Nice try though

Rio: Thanks for talking to me, eventually 😏

Rio: See you around 😊

Liam: it's a yearly tradition, no need to go back to that way of thinking about me

Rio: I’m just joking, your dads there too, I know

Rio: it’s your birthday, right?

Rio: Happy Birthday for the actual day

Liam: I didn't realise you knew when my birthday was

Rio: I remember it being sometime in the summer, we have been in the same classes forever, that’s not weird, right

Liam: you remember my name on the list of all the kids getting that shared happy birthday cheer in final assembly before school ended, you mean

Rio: Hey, my birthday is in December so you’ll get no sympathy from me, all anyone cares about is their own presents 🎅

Liam: 💔 sorry

Rio: No need, I still find a way to get spoilt

Rio: Are you doing anything when you get back?

Liam: my ma'd be 💔 if I don't

Rio: Duh, I meant with Edie or your friends though

Liam: can't let my parents have all the fun

Rio: Definitely not

Liam: you know Edie, I won’t be bored even when summer’s been and gone

Rio: That’s true

Rio: for 😁 and 😬

Liam: you added the 😬 not me

Rio: that is exclusive to my big sister role, for sure

Rio: it’d be rude if you were

Liam: I used to get loads of 😬 off my own big sister, she’d have called it a + too

Rio: that’s our job

Rio: guinea pig and middle man

Rio: You must miss her even more, on special occasions

Liam: it’s easier to find ways not to on special occasions, mates buy you rounds, think nothing of keeping the party going for a couple of days, I miss her more after, when shit’s meant to go back to normal

Rio: No, that makes sense actually, when you say it like that

Rio: it’s the everyday, little things, they affect you more

Liam: she’d be 18 and too cool to 🥳 with me, but yeah, later on, that’s when she should be around, to tell me what she did on her 16th was better

Rio: It’s fucked she didn’t get to her 18th, it really is

Rio: I’m sure it would have been epic and you’d happily take that 🥈

Rio: Still, make sure you have a good day, yeah?

Rio: 16 is a biggie too

Liam: I will, I’ll be with Edie

Rio: 😊🧡

[peeterparkr]

Fluffy Haz?! Maybe cheering the reader up on a bad day? Thank you!

idk why I want domestic haz rn and maybe this is bad bt asda 

You walked into your apartment, your hair soaking and your sneakers dirty and wet. You put down the now ripped umbrella on the stand, it had been of no use after a wind caught it and decided to rip it apart. You weren’t sure why you had kept it.  If there was a competition to the worst day in your life, today was certainly one of the runner ups. From the first minute you had woken up, it had been bad. Your alarm hadn’t gone off, and you had burnt your toast, you hadn’t had time to comb your hair, so by now it was tangled, wet and horrible. Your boss had been rude and someone had bumped into you and spilt their hot coffee on your white t-shirt. Add to all of this, your phone charger had ripped, too. 

“Baby, you’re home?” Haz asked from the kitchen. Finally, something good. 

You sighed as you made your way over to your boyfriend, you had texted him earlier about the shitty day you were having. But as soon as you walked in you realized he was taking out bowls and trays. Great, you’d have yo clean up his mess, too. Giving him a key to your place seemed to be counterproductive today. 

But he had a plan, and you saw all the ingredients. 

“Hi,” you greeted him from the doorway. 

He finally looked up at you, and widened his eyes. “Oh my god...” He asked as he ran over to you. You leaned your head against his chest without even having the force to hug him. “You’re soaking wet, what happened?

“Life,” you answered with a soft chuckle. He pulled you closer into his chest, ignoring the fact you were sopping.

“I’m sorry, love,” he kissed the top of your head. “I... I was going to attempt to bake you cookies, it was supposed to be a surprise to make you feel better.” 

You smiled. “Having you here is already making me feel better,” you admitted as you kissed him. 

“Go take a shower and I’ll take care of the rest, okay?”He suggested. You gave him one last kiss before heading to your shower. 

The shower did help but you had to be quick to run over to Harrison, who was still struggling with the recipe. 

“Okay, I need help,” he laughed. 

You walked over and hugged him. “That’s way too much sugar for 16 cookies.” 

“I read wrong... It said 3 quarters, and I.... poured in 3 cups,” he giggled. “Also, I don’t know how your oven works.” 

You grinned as you kissed his cheek. Maybe your day had been awful, but having him here was sure making it feel better. Even if it was a mess. 

You set the temperature of your oven and then walked over back to him. 

“Okay, so now... um, I’ll take all of this sugar and,” he laughed. “I’m sorry, I’m trying, I’m trying...I think I fixed the sugar, but now, it’s... 4 cups of flour?” 

You furrowed your eyebrows. “That doesn’t sound right,” you teased, as he kissed your cheek. 

“Shh, I’m the chef here,” he told you with confidence, as he wiggled his eyebrows. 

“I... Just don’t want anything to be like in friends, okay? I don’t want a beef trifle,” you giggled. 

He laughed. “Alright, who’s the one with a very successful youtube video on pancakes, me or you?” 

You rolled your eyes. “You.” 

“Then, let me do this, princess,” he giggled. You sat on the counter watching him struggle. Sure it had been a bad day but at least you weren’t as lost as your boyfriend. 

“Where did you even get the recipe?” You asked, eating chocolate chips from the bag. 

“Hey, those are for the cookies... but uh, Pinterest,” he answered embarrassedly. You jumped to hug him from behind, laughing. 

“Pinterest?” You chuckled as he was now assembling the cookies. “Those look... funny.” 

“Shh, they’ll be okay, they’ll be okay,” he grinned as he threw some flour playfully at you, making you jump back. 

“Harrison!” You laughed. 

“Whoops,” and he finally placed the tray in the oven. 

“If those come out wrong it’ll be my fault,” you said as you walked out of the kitchen to sit down at your couch. “Because of this cursed day,” you grimaced. 

“Hey, it’s okay, baby,” he smiled following you, he sat down pulling into a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist, looking into your eyes with those amazing deep blue ones he’s got. “At least a witch found you interesting enough to curse you.” 

You closed your eyes, throwing your head back with a laughter. “Seriously?” 

“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” he rubbed your back. “But you know what they say, the sun will come out, tomorrow.” 

“Bring it on, Annie,” you nuzzled into him. “Hm, I guess it’s not that bad, I have you here.” 

And you stayed there, quietly hugging each other. He hummed as he ran his hands through your hair. 

You didn’t know how much time had passed until a burnt smell hit your noses. 

“Shit!” You both yelled as you ran to the oven, to find the darkened and burnt cookies. At that point, you couldn’t help but laugh. Both of you on the floor, blaming the cursed day. 

“Yes, and so what if they came out wrong? I was smart enough to buy some from the bakery,”he said with a smirk, stnading up and looking for his bag. 

“Really?” Your eyes lit up. 

“Yes! Which...”He stopped, to laugh. 

“What?” 

“Which I think I forgot at the store,” he confessed laughing. “This day is cursed.” 

You grinned as you walked over. “It’s alright, I like the taste of your lips better than the cookies.” 

“Bless this cursed day, then.” 

sleepover || send me stuff

[xeunoais]

Left With a Broken Heart

(A/N- so i finished it. i’m sad:(. i love connor and i think that writing this about him broke my heart because he is too good of a man to every do anything like this. so please when you read this, just imagine connors evil twin. thank you. and please remember, feedback is highly appreciated! enjoy❤️)

Summary: Connor and Y/N were the bestest of friends. She started to catch feelings and she thought he did too. Until a new girl came around.

warning: i cried. you’ll probably cry.

-

His hair was a mess but it still looked amazing and so so soft. His ocean blue eyes were just the type I could get lost in forever and never complain about. Beautifully chiseled jawline, soft looking pink lips, that I so badly wanted to know what they would feel like against mine. It was seriously no wonder how I had a crush on, Connor Brashier. Not only one of the most popular guys on campus, but also my best friend.

There was just something about him, the way he moved, the way he spoke, the way he looked at me, that captivated me. Pushed me into a deep, never ending hole of feelings for him. We were actually table partners in most classes.

We just messed around for the first week. He made lessons for me so much more bearable. But he did still make me nervous. I had gotten good at hiding it so that way he didn’t know. I at least hope he didn’t know about it.

We always could so easily fall into conversations, he would always ask me for answers on stuff he didn’t know because he got sidetracked and missed the answers. Whenever he would fall asleep during lessons, I would poke his cheek with the end of my pencil to wake him up. That was of course, after I admired his beautiful sleeping profile for a bit.

I remember one day him whispering to me about the professers new perm looked like burnt ramen. I laughed so loudly that she glared at the both of us. I honestly couldn’t have been happier about that situation because I had a bad day and he knew just what to do to make me laugh. I would have even cared if I had gotten in trouble for it or not.

This guy really had me wrapped around his finger. Every time we talked, our hands lightly brushed against each other, he would whisper something in my ear, I completely fell for him all over again each time. But I knew deep down, that he didn’t feel the same towards me. Until maybe he did start catching feelings.

I was studying in the library. I didn’t notice he came in at first because I was so zoned in on my text books until I saw a hand wave in front of my face.

“For you,” he said holding out a cup of iced coffee from the cafe. I instantly smiled and thanked him before I took a sip. He stayed with me that day. Just watching me do my work or playing on his phone waiting on me to finish. I won’t ever know why he did that. What made him stay with me. I’m not complaining though. I wouldn’t ever complain about his company. He knows that.

As I working that day I couldn’t shake off the feeling of eyes on me. I looked up and saw his beautiful eyes that I will forever be in love with, staring right back into mine. My heart nearly stopped in that exact moment.

“Con?” I asked softly, breaking him out of his trance.

“Oh, uh, sorry.” He apologized, scratching at the bzck of his neck. I found that moment incredibly adorable. But when I finished, you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the cheek, near my lips as you said goodbye. I went into my dorm that day lost in my thoughts. My first thought was you were just being nice and a good best friend. That you didn’t mean anything. But then I also had that hope that maybe, just maybe, you liked me too.

-

A week had passed. And all it took was a new girl. I was absent for a couple days because I was down with the flu. I was so excited to get back to class and see him again because the entire time we hadn’t talked or seen each other. I didn’t think anything of it until the day I returned.

There was a new girl in my seat. And he was sitting next to her. I had never seen this girl before. She had perfectly straight blonde hair, hazel eyes, perfectly straight white teeth. She had on the skirt that she hiked up her thigh just to show more skin, with a button up top tucked into it. She was most definitely more pretty than I will ever be.

I hesitantly walked over to the two of them. He was laughing so hard at something she had just told him, and he didn’t even see me coming. All of the sudden I froze. He kissed her. He fucking kissed her. I couldn’t move. Everything stopped. Before I knew it, tears began swelling up in my eyes and thats when he saw me standing there.

I looked at him and scoffed. I couldn’t do anything but just shake my head then walk out. As I walked away I heard him and a couple others calling out to me. I just kept walking. I left campus that day. And I went to the place I met him at. I sat there for hours apon hours just thinking about everything. I actually thought that he liked me back.

I know I should’ve saw this coming. I know it. But I never thought it would’ve caused this much damage. Now that I think about it. We didn’t text that week probably because of her. He completely cut me off the second she came into the picture. I was heartbroken for two reasons. The fact he had a girlfriend and the fact that I lost my best friend of two years to a girl that he met a week ago.

-

After five months of me ignoring everything that had to do with him, we finally spoke again. He caught me in the library studying. His hands were in his hoodie pocket and he had his hood up. He wasn’t the same guy I knew. This wasn’t the same Connor. The sparkle in his eyes was gone, his lips were pale, and his cheeks were slightly sunken in. He had the look of pure sadness on his face.

For a split second I caught myself feeling bad and wanting to just hold him and make him feel better. When he got close enough, he said my name. I used to love the way my name rolling off his tounge sounded but thats not the same anymore.

The first he said was that he was sorry. I just stared blankly at him for a bit. I took in everything about him until all of my feelings came rushing back. He broke my heart and all he had to say was sorry? I asked him what he wanted, and then he said it. The words I had been waiting to hear for a long time.

“I want you to give me another chance.”

At that moment I just stared into his dull, yet still mesmerizing eyes. I thought about everything for a minute. All of the memories. Starting from the day we met and stole my heart to the day he ripped into two and didn’t even care.

“Connor,” I said softly. “believe me, I really liked you. You were more than just a crush to me though. You were my best friend. But honestly after everything, I liked it better when we didn’t know each other. And I have way more common sense then to let you in again. I have way more self respect than to let you toy with my feelings and break me again. I’m sorry Connor. I want to give you another chance, I really do. But i’m scared to trust you. I’m really fucking scared. Because I know it’ll end up the same way again. You’ll meet someone new when I’m not around and I will be thrown of to the sideline again. After what you did, I cannot trust you anymore. And I don’t wanna get hurt again. And don’t think that this was okay. Taht coming back her to me just because you had no one to use anymore. Because I am not fucking dumb enough to fall for that bullshit. I’m not dumb enough to to let you use me again.”

Then I grabbed all of my things and I left without another word. Leaving him behind with whatever it was we were in the past. And it was at the moment that I felt okay again. That I had put my heart back together and I was happy. Connor Brashier will always be someone I loved but he will not be a person I will allow myself to love ever again.

-

THE END

(A/N: I actually hated writing this because I cannot even imagine Connor ever doing this to anyone! UGHHH IM A MESS RN😭 someone cheer me up plz)

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[shut-up-im-jay]

PEEPS THERE IS MORE

WHAT ARE. THE. FUCKING. REPRESENTATION. OF. PAIN. IN. ART.

Sorry I’m overly excited rn

I love this. And I’m sorry but I’ll tag peeps here too bc it’s really interesting, tell me if you want more in the future or if you want me to stop tagging me lmao

@whumpthisway @whumpster-dumpster @untilthepainstarts @ashintheairlikesnow 

Let’s dive into it.

SOO how does art represent pain and how does it allow us, spectators, to feel it and why do we represent it in art?

Art and stuff, when I use the word it’ll be about every representation of it, paint, fanfic, writing, films, series.... everything.

first of all, maybe when we experience art we aren’t just communicating with the author and the characters but also with the other readers somehow. Like there is a community behind any form of art

heroïc pain, comical pain and the experiment of pain in stories about real people --> restitution of sensation of pain, (recent phenomenon apparently)  are the three main thing we’re gonna talk about here

What is a hero and what is its link to pain?

stoïc heroes are the ‘best’, those who take pride in toughening up, very often a mannly trait, there is historically a superior power in play. They’re heroic bc they fight till the end knowing that they can’t do anything (see La chanson de Roland, the agony of Charlemagne’s nephew, it’s apparently a really good agony/whump thing)

Action is superior to affection when you’re a hero (martyrs hello, we’re talking about st Sebastian, our true gay icon, I love him)

------ Tbh this is basically the base for whump, but not the cool part. We want our whumpee to go further. The strength is cool but I don’t just want this, I mainly wanna feel the pain and no one is that hero. It’s often more the tipping point that gives me whumperflies --------

Philoctet here. Who is the guy? Heroic af, but he is an ass. So anyway he is wounded and he has an ulcer and yeah that’s why he screams and smells and his friends just let him to die on an island (lmao) bc he has invincible weapons so they just go away with it (savage)

So he is the metaphor of a patient isolated in their pain, that’s cool. Also there is a caretaker in the story. True antic whump peeps.

-----------Now comical pain(?)  (not whump related here)

Can we really laugh about pain? we’re talking about the ripping a bandage kind of comical pain in caricature. How can some kind of pain affect us while other makes us ‘laugh’ or at least be amused...

We then laugh more about the idea of humiliation, for example in comical theater, laughing at the pain as punishment for the ‘bad’ characters. Also laughing makes people superior, so when we laugh together it binds us together, and then pain can be bounding but anyway that’s not the point.

The real question is: how the fuck do we have an insensibility to pain when there is a comical situation?

let’s talk about someone who falls and it’s funny cause they slipped on a banana peel or smtg. bc there is a social convention in the funny situation. Also pain isn’t really obvious, it’s often ambiguous and we can’t really have empathy so yeah, we maybe don’t relate that much? and also small kids don’t seem to find it funny apparently bc they’re not really aware of the comical situation. 

I think that this kind of things would be more interesting to do it as a psychological/social study on why we find things funny related to culture and our background, more than our relation to pain

------------ Now, the historically modern kind of pain tale, the one more related to whump, when the goal really is to describe the pain, often trying to get the spectator to relate.

The body has a new place in art. Historically the soul was really the center of art while nowadays we are more in a somatic art, the body is the focus.

Cenesthesia is the internal perception, the general sensibility we have toward our internal feelings. And it’s a general tendency now, Hunger, K.Hamsun, Nausea, Sartres, they focus on those internal feelings. Another great book: ‘La doulou’, Alphonse Daudet (he suffered from syphilis) and he described in a diary all the pain he was feeling, and he tried to be really accurate. Again, great writing material ig. 

Léon Werth: The white house is an auto-fiction, basically the story of a guy that has an ear infection and his surgery then the fever. The whole story is about post-op sensations. Interestingly enough, the character doesn’t even have a name, the whole story is only to describe the pain, and the main character is really interested in his own pain. He uses GREAT analogies tbh, like there is an industry in his ear and everything, that’s.... that’s good shit. But like, he isn’t bad about it, he is just weirdly okay with it? he only describes things as he feels them, he has some kind of dissociation from his pain. 

This is basically one of the example of pain descriptions in modern art, when the person in pain becomes the spectator of its pain

Dolor y gloria, Pedro Almodovar --> good PTSD shit, how emotional pain becomes physical pain. Two narratives at the same time: the main character with chronic pains as an adult, but then there is the other story: how, as a child, MC was influenced by his past

on an unrelated note, the teacher just said that main character and his mum are hot lmao that’s bi energy af

Well now she’s dissecting a cinematic scene and it’s not really interesting so I’ll try to express what I took out of this. 

Seriously, it wasn’t as cool as I expected it to be, I thought she was going to focus more on how we relate to pain. That’s unfortunate, bc I’d love to have an external pov on whump. The actual psychological effect of seeing pain, and why it’s truly appealing to us. Why the fuck do we enjoy it.

It was more of a dive in the representation of pain in different arts. Some good whump references in it I guess. But nothing really psychological and it’s kinda a shame tbh.

Oh but some cool things maybe(?), some interviews of neurologists:

WHAT IS PAIN AND HOW DOES IT INTERACT WITH THE MEDICAL WORLD?

(also there are people specializing on pain out there which is fucking rad and metal lmao)

Scientific pov: Pain is an experience. Sensorial, emotional and physical. the pain isn’t really localized in a part of your brain. Sure, things are processed in the thalamus but it’s a very large zone already, there are so many ways to feel pain, and so many structures in our brain, it’s almost as complex as memory(!)

-The facial expression of pain and why it’s ambiguous? How to see the pain? There are literal descriptions of non-verbal cues, and how to detect pain (there are even photo stocks of facial pain expressions lmao to try and educate our brains). And often, the more you’re affected, the more you’re ambiguous in the way of expressing it. 

Frowning is one of the first ways of expressing pain, muscles have a kind of order in the way they react.

Our anatomy teacher now: words of pain. As doctors, it’s often unclear how to understand the levels of pain based on patient expressions. So we have precise forms to help, but we need patients to be really educated to have enough vocabulary. Unfortunately sometimes as we already stated, pain can be anesthetic in a way, and hard to describe, and trying to fix the pain in time is near impossible. We would even need to do a linguistic study on pain and stuff to make sure we can be precise (and write more whumpy things lmao)

Here, a take on pain as an alarm system. Dramatic consequences ensue when there are lesions of nerves, so it is obviously a very useful and protecting tool. But then what about neuropathic and chronical pains? They’re basically when in a house, the alarm goes off all the time for no reason. And then the definition of a protecting system is really wrong

What are the bias medical professionals have? The more a patient says he’s in pain, and the less they’re believed (it’s almost an auto protecting factor: we shut down our empathy and it conducts us to underestimates the pain, and this is terrible bc the more you’re in pain, the less you’re going to be actually taking care of!) 

The logic and chaos of pain: either persistence of a physical issue or malfunctioning of nervous systems In a western, there is a tendency to have pain representation when an arrow gets in the flesh, then when it’s extracted, but we mostly won’t even blink when the character just isn’t in pain anymore bc we have that representation of pain being linked to trauma. (whumpers, I think there is where we have something to say: we actually understand the role of pain after the trauma)

And knowing that pain is linked to something is a very relieving factor for most patients. Thus the known placebo effect: if we actually say to patients that there is a cause to their pain, they almost always have better results with pain management! 

Placebo also works the other way around peeps, if you think that smtg is going to be painful, oh boi. It’s gonna hurt like hell. Like more than it should... you get the hint

The human mind is fascinating 

[someobscurereference]

im very into the 3H hype now as well, but i have missed your FE14 talk more than i can say lmfao! any plot ideas/headcanons/other concepts that have been nagging you lately and that you want to share? (i know i just specified fe14, but 3H is also fine !) if not though thats okay, and i hope you have a nice day! :D

Aw, I missed it too, anon! That was the downside of closing my ask box. I was assured I wouldn’t see any spoilers before I wanted to, but I was sorry to put a hard pause on any cool questions anyone had to ask. I don’t normally have any HCs that I get on my own (since they’re usually tied into the plot of any given fic I’d wanna write and usually not a “this is how I Always with a capital A think about X”), but let’s see about upcoming plots! I’ve left you guys hanging for a little while now.

Mafia AU

Firstly, I’m probably going to be actively working on Mafia AU with @kimium again in the next few days. Holy cow, seriously, she has the patience of a saint with this AU. I could not ask for a more understanding person to be writing that with, because I have not been looking at the Mafia AU or really much writing at all in Forever. Granted, I was very busy with real life stuff and final projects/work as my study abroad was coming to a close, but I probably would have been understandably annoyed if I had to be partnered with myself for that too because I have been So Bad. Like, Very Bad about writing! So thank you, @kimium, for your kindness. You deserve a reward. Seriously.

(Did anyone notice that I wrote less fic when I was in Japan? I sure did! I felt bad about it, but while I loved being there and all my classes and friends, I really had no energy or time for anything that didn’t immediately pertain to university life in some way. My hobbies all got put on a big hold while I was over there. But I’m back now! And am working on making more time for myself for creative outlets!)

Spooky FE14 Fic

Also, I have another FE14 Spooky Horror Fic that’s on the way! With all the FE ships you know I love to write! Probably… somewhere between ½ to ¾ths done? Including blocking for future scenes, I’m at about 37K word count right now. That will go up as I take the blocking and turn it into actual dialogue and narration and stuff, lol. It’ll still be a while before I’m done though. I’ve had this thing sitting in my drafts for literal months and haven’t been able to work on it in a while. But I want to very badly!

I’m trying hard to make this spooky fic different from my previous fics. I don’t want to spoil too much, but I am actively trying to make sure I have a few different dynamics than who I paired up in Dark Things Grew (which you should check out if you like spooky stuff!) and also more getting together than established relationship. Also more, like, having real flaws in relationships and as people? But we’ll see how that works out, haha. It’s my first time writing a lot of things, so it’s a little new to me too. And spooky in the “oh no, what if people don’t it when characters are, like, realistically an asshole?” But I want to to be good! And I think you’ll like it! Or at least some will, haha.

FE3H

I sat down trying to write some FE14 stuff earlier, but I think the 3H bug really bit me because when I tried to write, something just wasn’t clicking right. And I just kept thinking about some of my 3H faves?? So I guess I’m halfway through a short-ish Caspar/Linhardt fic now, lol. (I also have a half-written Raphael/Ignatz in my drafts too, but I don’t know if I like it or not, so we’ll see if I ever come back to it. I’m thinking of that one as a warm-up.)

But it’s been literally a minimum of 2 years since I’ve written something that wasn’t for FE14, so getting to know new characters again is interesting. Normally I like to scan wikis and consume literally everything about a character before I write them so I write them as accurately as possible, but 3H is so new that a lot of that info is really scarce rn! So I’m nervous! But trying!

Also, because you asked about various things and I feel bad just naming upcoming, unfinished fics:

A Few Fic Ideas I Think About Often And Actually Have In A File On My Laptop Titled “FE Fics to Write” (much more on the real list)

Chef/Baker AU Owain! (I also talk to @kimium about this often. But also I know nothing about baking or cooking at all so like??? We’ll see if I ever get this one done, haha.)

AU where Owain (and maybe the others, but this is more Owain focus) is an Android but nobody knows it except him. (Slowburn Leo/Owain/Niles? And also maybe Nina and Forrest are there?? This one is also a little vague but it Haunts me)

I wanna write a fic like this one where Inigo made a deal and the price of Severa and Owain living was their memories except this time around it’s more of the aftermath and a little more magic is involved. Also, Owain/Inigo established relationship but Owain forgot. Also, Owain hates Inigo.

On that same line, I want to write a fic that takes place during the “Owain and Inigo Do Not Get Along” time period of their lives. I always write them as established friendship. But they legit were Not Friends in Awakening for a good part of their friendship. They would die for each other but also shove each other’s faces in the dirt if they could. I want to write that. Also maybe with hate romance.

Established Leo/Nlies Modern AU where Owain is their neighbor/someone they know who they sleep with on the regular. Owain thinks it’s all casual. Is it??? *Eye emoji*Insecure Owain? (maybe tied in with the above? maybe something else? mentioned in another fic I’m writing and I want to explore it more. He so easily has breakdowns in canon when Felicia and Severa call him weird.)

Can u tell I love Owain

Anyway, those are some of my top fic ideas and fic that I’m actively working on atm! I hope they seem appealing to you or anyone else reading this, lol. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things as I go! Definitely always feel free to hit me up with more FE questions anytime though! (Awakening, Fates, 3 Houses–it’s all on the table again!)

Thanks for asking!

[rorykillmore]

talk about some stuff youre excited for in the upcoming plots! like, what you hope will happen with your characters and how they and their relationships develop and stuff...

okay this time i’ll SERIOUSLY answer an ask of yours,

so firstly there’s camille who always seems to get wrapped up in mld plots! i’m excited for this one in particular though just because we’ve spent so long developing hers and felix’s development, and having her have to face all this... stuff felix has been doing behind everyone’s backs while she’s believed he could become a better person will be. THE WORST but also kind of the best, we all love our angst plots,

i know we also talked about maybe taking their relationship in the direction of romance and i’m excited for that too?? since we haven’t really gotten to write a ship together yet, and since this one promises to be uh. a mess in SO many ways. i think it’ll be really sad and interesting to see how both of them handle coming so close to a relationship and then having everything fall apart, especially since that’s like. not the first time it’s happened to either of them!

but yeah this is all kind of interpersonal stuff but i’m definitely looking forward to seeing how both the build up and the fallout goes for both of them... camille has yet to master the art of “coping with someone she loves doing really bad shit” so we’ll see if she can work through it this time,

also i still kind of want to do some kind of... journey plot with nightcloud??  which i’ll probably see who else wants to get in on (giz mentioned wanting more to do with sunbird, so they might throw him at this). i just was always really a sucker for the “group of cats have to go on a Quest of some kind” plots the erins would do in warriors from time to time and i think denny’s setting could just be especially fun for that. i haven’t really nailed down the details yet except that it’d be fun to do it somewhere in the southwest, but yeah

i also know giz was considering reapping tigerstar (tigerclaw) from an earlier canonpoint and i still think that would be SO interesting and i’d be really pumped to explore nightcloud’s reaction to that too...

and then for siobhan, we might finally be reviving and resolving an old plot of hers pretty soon! it kinda fell by the wayside a couple of times for a variety of reasons, but since the asp’s mouth cavern location in port royal conveniently works pretty well for siobhan trying to get her soul back, fate had the idea that rocket would find out about it and lead them on a good old fashioned pirate adventure. i’m not sure where all that’s gonna go yet, but i really like the idea of just doing a little plot that... gives her and rocket some closure, after all this time

and i’m basically like, always planning stuff for villanelle, but i’m trying to think what major things she has coming up that i’m looking forward to -- obviously anti-GRACE stuff! i’d definitely like to plot more with the whole team, really, and maybe find some more serious shit for them to get into. like... once felix is exposed as an ally of GRACE’s, maybe they’ll get wrapped up in the fallout of that or have to step things up or something? idk. eventually i should post in their plot thread and see where people wanna take things

and also speaking of the felix thing, that’s another thing i’m looking forward to with villanelle too!! we’ve already talked a little bit about how a fun extra layer of it is that felix and villanelle actually get along, but (especially now that she has firsthand evidence of what GRACE did to ruby) villanelle’s gonna try to kill him anyway. and then the conflict of ruby having to stop her (and not realizing the truth about felix at the time) is just... i dunno where that will go, but it seems really JUICY and kind of painful for everyone involved, so. that’s always great!

after that... i guess we’ll see where things land?? depending on a number of factors villanelle might be KIND of in a bad place by the end of the summer but, just how her dynamics and relationships develop by then could affect that and what she gets up to as well, so we’ll see what happens. i also am kind of pumped to have her move into the new gated community and maybe snag her a couple of wacky roommates somehow,

trish is still just a claim but plotwise coming up i’m definitely interested in getting her involved with the vigilante scene/the drama going down in chicago rn and seeing where that leads. i’ve mentioned before that her plot stuff probably depends on how Dark she’s willing to get but, we haven’t really done a plot yet where people have to deal with a rogue vigilante, so that’s a fun possibility. she and moon might also get involved with some kind of prophecy plot further down the line, but fate and i are still working out the details of that

and i guess god forbid if i end up apping rosalie... idk, i just feel like twilight has so many cool concepts behind its bad execution that there’s probably a lot of fun stuff i could get her involved with if i set my mind to it. a lot of fun, DECONSTRUCTIVE plots, even. like... given her history and her general feelings about being a vampire i doubt she’d ever intentionally turn someone, but also, with twilight vampires, it can actually happen really easily accidentally, so. that’s always one possibility. who wants to sparkle!,

this is just a general note but i also think that some of the tournament prizes right now could make for some really fun/disastrous plots, like someone using the truth serum to make someone admit something terrible?? or the polyjuice potion for a plot where someone impersonates someone else... idk those are just vaguely formed ideas but i threw them in here just because

[rose-of-pollux]

And yet another MFU blurb

Written for today’s short affair prompt at Section VII.

Summary: In which Napoleon is ready to go overboard when planning the redecoration of their apartment; thankfully, Illya is there to bring him back down to Earth.

Notes: this is very light slash; gen version is on dreamwidth.

Not cross-posting this because I’m just too lazy rn.

Considering that Napoleon paid for the apartment that the two of them shared, Illya had resolved to let Napoleon do whatever he wanted to with the place.  Nevertheless, that didn’t mean he wasn’t making his own opinions as, out of the blue, Napoleon poured over furniture catalogues and home décor magazines.

Illya looked around at their current furnishings.  They didn’t seem to be that worn, yet Napoleon had the tendency to discard perfectly useful things and replace them with new ones, as his wealth allowed him to be a bit extravagant.  Early in their association, Illya had successfully convinced Napoleon to give away or donate his older items rather than simply discard them—he hoped that would still be the case here.

“You are redoing the flat?” he asked, after a moment.

“Just the living room,” Napoleon said.  “I’m trying to make it as aesthetically pleasing as possible.”

“What will happen to all of this?”

“It already has a good home ready, don’t you worry; George is moving to a new place closer to the office for a shorter commute, but his new place is unfurnished.  It’ll be good for Sergei, too—with all the clawing that Baba Yaga has done on some of this stuff, Sergei will still have his ma’s scent on all this.”

The Egyptian mau meowed at the mention of her son, and Illya nodded in approval, and glanced at the pages Napoleon had left open on the various catalogues.

“I’m noticing a preference for a blue-gray furniture set,” Illya observed.

“You’d be right,” Napoleon said, thoughtfully resting the top of his pencil on the dimple on his chin. “The current beige and brown motif we’ve got going on here isn’t bad, but since we’ve got the chance for something completely new, I say we go for it—blue-gray with white walls would brighten this place up a lot.”

“It could work,” Illya agreed.

“I’m sure of it,” Napoleon said.  “But we would need a bit of green to balance the blue and white.  So I started thinking…”  He held up a page with two small tables.  “We get these tables and put a jade sculpture on each one.”

Illya gave his partner a long look.

“…You had me until you mentioned the jade sculptures.”

“…Seriously?”

“Napoleon, we do not need jade sculptures!” Illya exclaimed.  “Even if you can afford it—and I do not doubt that you can—there are far better uses for that money!  But I do believe you know that; I sense you are getting carried away in your eagerness to awaken your inner interior designer.  Just remember that we are not kings, and, therefore, we do not need to live like them.”

“Well, it seems a shame to get replicas…”

“If you wish for greenery, there are plenty of decorative plants,” Illya pointed out.

“…That could work,” Napoleon said.  “But we’d have to find some way to keep them watered while we’re off on missions.”

“There are some beautiful-quality false plants—unless you truly are opposed to all replicas.”

“Replica plants don’t sound as bad as replica sculptures,” Napoleon mused.

“Oh, Napoleon, you haven’t changed at all—still possessing every bit of American decadence that you’ve had since the day I met you.  Exactly what are you trying to prove, and to who?”

“What do you mean?”

“I understand spending money on gourmet food—even if it does seem overpriced, it is still high quality and nourishing,” Illya said.  “And while I do think jewelry is unnecessary, I understand wanting some trinkets in the family, or gold items in the event of a loss of the power of currency. But antique jade sculptures?”

“Okay, maybe I did go a bit overboard with that,” Napoleon admitted.  “I guess I was kind of inspired by that ancient Egyptian Pharaoh from the museum—all those treasures.  And I started thinking that it would be nice to amass a small legacy like that—a thousand years from now, people would be able to look back on Napoleon Solo and how he preserved priceless artifacts.”

“Somehow, I doubt that is what the Pharaoh would want to be known for,” Illya said.  “He would want to be remembered for his accomplishments in life, not his treasure trove in death.  And I think you would get far less satisfaction from being remembered as a collector of fine art than you would from being remembered as someone who saved countless lives and endeavored tirelessly to prevent global war from breaking out.  That, Napoleon, is truly a legacy to be proud of.”

“…I didn’t think of it that way…” Napoleon said, blinking.  “But, you know what?  You’re right.”  He smiled. “I’m lucky to have you.”

“You certainly are,” Illya said, kissing his partner fondly.  “Now, then, how about I help you find a catalogue to order those plants for that greenery you want?”

Napoleon’s smile widened to a grin as he rested his forehead on top of Illya’s.

“Maybe later,” he said. “There’s something else that requires my attention at this particular moment.”

Illya grinned and kissed him again.

[shego1142]

Life Update part I actually managed to clean the house a bit be proud

Hey peeps!

Long time no life update!

Okay so I don’t fully remember what the last update was about so I may repeat some stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First and foremost,

The Rat Situation/Home Stuff

We still have rats, of course, because rats aren’t really a problem that go away on their own, no matter how uninhabitable you make their (and your own) environment.

Good news though, Burger King has absolutely stepped up his rat catching game tenfold.

In the past two weeks he’s caught at least 20 or so. Like, he’s seriously a beast.

I kind of think his improved hunting miigghhtt be because there’s a a smol little orange girl kitty who is wandering around here and he’s trying to impress her (or show her up)

She’s also helping us with the rats too, so kudos to her! I’ve named her Creamsicle and I plan on capturing her and taking her to a no-kill shelter ASAP, but she’s very shy rn so I’m currently building trust. In the interim she has a nice warm home under our house and plenty of food and water. ^__^

Even Better Good News I’ve been talking to extended family member after extended family member in a real life version of crowdsourcing and we can finally get an exterminator/humane trapper up in here!!!

It’ll still take a while because we need to clean but!!! Freedom is in our sights!! Rat freedom! ^___^ this is like a good ending to The Judge’s House.

Bad news just to keep you on your feet, out stove kind of exploded last night.

Well okay it didn’t really explode explode, but damn was it scary anyway.

It made an extremely loud sound and blew fire up from the one stove eye that was on and then the fire went out and it started hissing gas

We turned it off and then turned off the main gas line in total and well, this is what the gas lines leading up to the stove eyes look like:

Yea they’re all four broken like that. Idk how or why but they seem to be made out of aluminium? For what ever reason? And they’ve just broken in half. Yes this is a terrifying discovery :/

We are looking at some “new” stove options, there’s a lot of Renovations going on around our neighborhood and a lot of peeps who want to just get rid of their old stoves for cheap or even free

So we might be able to find something nice and affordable. ^_^

(Also we aren’t sure how long the gas lines to that stove have been leaking so I’ll keep you peeps updated on if our health improves any lol)

Alright so Next Up is

Health

Or idk, lack there of.

So, big deal, I’ve finally and officially been diagnosed with Tachycardia!

Which is one of the many things I’ve been saying all along!

I have supraventrical Tachycardia, meaning the top part of my heart beats 3 times for every one time the bottom part beats. They are also looking to see if I also have POTS, which is very likely because it seems to be postural

I’m on Digoxin now and it’s been somewhat mildly improving my dizziness, so yay!

In even more exciting news, I finally finally finally have an appointment to see a bone/joint doctor.

So we can figure out why my joints dislocate like crazy. (Idk if it’s EDS or not but we will know soon I hope)

And hopefully this will help me get to a place where I can get medical treatment and maybe even recover some.

Meanwhile I might make a separate post about the idea of retroactive disability, which should absolutely be a thing that exists and goes along with my socialist ideals but I’ll make that later so shhhhh

Otherwise health stuff has been frustrating for me lately, both of my ears have severe inner ear infections and I think I have a mild flu, despite having gotten my flu shot for the year -_-

And of course I had my period twice this month (that’s also something I’m going to talk about in a different post bc it’s a little tmi) which means nearly 3 weeks of feeling like a hibernating bear and sleeping almost 24/7

Which btw is why I haven’t been on much

Creativity

Okay so like I said in a previous post, I am absolutely making a poster for Markiplier’s charity livestream (December 1st, 10 am PST)

And I’m actually really excited about making it. I’ve been practising sketching peeps and practising the human form for a few months so I’m kind of ready to make it.

Plus it’s just nice to have something to work towards ^__^

Also, I think I might make a Minecraft playthrough.

So the short version of a long story here is that while I’ve played Minecraft for years I’ve never finished the game.

And that’s not for a lack of being able to, I could have done it at anytime... but I’ve never felt ready.

And now I think I’d love to record it, because why not?

The End Poem is actually really special and meaningful to me and I think I’d like to experience it for the first time first hand (I’ve read it before but like I said I’ve never gotten to it myself) with you peeps.

Idk if I want it to go up on YouTube or not but perhaps?

Anyway let me know if you want me to make a Single Person Vanilla Minecraft let’s play I guess?

It might not be anything new but it would at the least be my own...

And finally

Cleaning

So I enlisted some help in my extended family members and we went wild with cleaning my grandma’s house.

We stuck to the kitchen and living room but we had it nearly spotless by the time she woke up, her being none the wiser to what we were doing

And I mean, my left knee was completely dislocated the entire time, and my back and hips hurt like crazy now

But I am honestly really proud of myself for forcing myself to do it.

Okay well I think that’s all of the major life updates for the time being!

Here’s an obligatory pic of my Burger Man

And you can kind of see my grandma’s arms in the background, lol. Honestly if you had told me a few years back that she’d willingly have a cat sleeping on her bed I’d have laughed, but BK is a charmer if there ever were one. ^__^