#seriously guys lets stop excusing this because we hate aaron | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ackerpreach · 3 years

Text

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could. She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared.

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN)

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her??? He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.

Like seriously??? What is this???

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for.

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa.

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that? Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way. Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO! All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship.

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this.

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way.

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy.

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR.

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that???

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below. I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place... It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga.

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all got thrown out of the window...

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’)

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to. I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative.

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

#rivamika #snk leaks #snk 139 leaks #levimika #mikalevi

250 notes · View notes

willowbird · 4 years

Note

can we get an Aaron POV of him beating the abuslute shit out of Jack in the locker room. i’m talking about slamming this boys head into the locker beating, he need kevin, matt and nicky to get aaron to stop and even then he still struggling to get more in till andrew comes into his vision. show me that same aaron from that secne in thanksgiving!!!

I am so SO sorry it's taken me so long to answer this!! Work was getting hectic and I was working on something else BUT now I'm for sure gonna get through the rest of these asks ^.^

Aaron losing his shit on Jack, huh? Well, we can sure do that ^.^

I changed a few things from your prompt just because as I was sitting down to write it made the most sense to me that if Aaron was gonna go after Jack it probably wouldn’t be about Andrew or Neil. Neil and Andrew take care of themselves, more or less, and if they can’t then they’ve got each other. Not that Aaron wouldn’t beat the ever-living shit out of Jack for doing or saying something to Andrew, but he just probably wouldn’t have to -- if only because Andrew doesn’t care enough about Jack to be affected by him.

Nicky on the other hand...? Well, I’m a bit soft for the twins being protective of Nicky.

Warning for violence, depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts, triggering language. Take care of yourselves.

----

“Jesus fucking Christ. That was the most pathetic excuse of teamwork I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life, and this is my sixth year coaching this fucks-forsaken team.” Coach Wymack had just spent the last twenty minutes ripping all of them brand new assholes. They were all tired, they were all angry, and they were all ready for this day to be fucking over, but it wasn’t over until the Coach had had his say, so here they were -- sitting in the locker room, getting chewed out again.

Not that they didn’t deserve it. Aaron knew they did.

It had been a brutal fucking loss. The Foxes trashed by some half-cocked team from Alabama. Even with Andrew actively trying to block the goal, there was only so much he could do when the other team’s offense kept breaking through their defensive line to swarm the goal. Matt was off the court with an injury, which meant the only backliners they had were Aaron, Nicky, and Keith -- the freshman backliner who still couldn’t figure out how to fucking pass to a moving target.

Aaron cared less about the loss than he did about the cause for it, and not for the same reasons as half the rest of the team.

Nicky had been all thumbs and no energy tonight, but that hadn’t been a surprise -- not to Aaron or any of the rest of the monsters. Nicky had been off for a few days, his usual chatty, chipper demeanor whittled down to strained smiles and shrugs in a way that the rest of the team had never seen before. Well, most of the rest of the team. Aaron had seen this before. Andrew had too. Neil and Kevin hadn’t witnessed it directly, but by now the other two “monsters” knew Nicky well enough to know this other side of him existed even if they hadn’t seen it.

So yeah, he’d gone into this game knowing it was going to suck -- knowing that they might lose. Maybe that had been their mistake. He, Andrew, Kevin, and Neil had been distracted -- torn between concern for Nicky and the need to cover for him. The freshmen had been a nightmare about it and what the fuck even was teamwork. At halftime, the commentators had called it one of the worst performances by the Foxes in three years.

Yeah.

But at least it was fucking over, right?

“Now get showered up and get the fuck outta my sight. I don’t want to see a single one of you fuckers until tomorrow -- yeah, that’s right, we’re having Saturday fucking practice thanks to that sorry excuse of a game you pissed all over tonight.” Coach glared at all of them in turn. “By tomorrow I expect Nolan and Fisk to get their heads out of each other’s ass and Hemmick?” The big man’s gaze landed on Aaron’s cousin and he felt himself go stiff. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Andrew stand up from where he was leaning against the lockers.

“Learn how to be a little less fucking useless. I don’t know what the fuck has been up with you the past few days but get it figure the fuck out. You hear me?”

The first pulse of genuine rage ignited in Aaron’s veins. His hands curled into fists and his vision narrowed. Nicky’s quiet, tightly muttered, “Yes Coach,” was partially drowned out by the dull roar in his ears.

Anything he might have said or done was stymied, however, by Andrew, who slammed his fist against the lockers, drawing everyone’s attention away from Nicky and onto him.

“Coach, I think we need to chat.” By whatever magic Andrew had over everyone that made everyone automatically take him more seriously than anyone else, he had Coach’s attention, just like that. The man snorted then jerked his head toward the door.

“Fine, but make it quick. I need to try and block out what just happened.”

Coach and Andrew left the room. For a minute, there was a tense, weighty silence, then someone whined and someone else bitched and normalcy returned -- well, normal for a really shitty fucking day anyway. The women split off to their changing room to shower and get ready, and several of the guys did the same.

Nicky remained seated, staring blankly down at his hands, shoulders slumped in utter defeat. That anger curled in Aaron again -- not at Nicky and not at the fucking game, but at Coach and the team for being so fucking stupid, and at himself for not knowing what the fuck to do about any of it. Nicky’s depression was an open secret among their group. It was something they all knew of but never talked about. This was probably the worst episode he’d had in years and Aaron just felt... fucking powerless.

When they’d noticed it, they’d closed ranks around Nicky as a group and shut out the rest of the team in a way they hadn’t done since the cousins’ freshman year. None of them were soft enough to take care of Nicky in the way he probably needed, but Andrew drove Nicky to Reddin Thursday morning and Aaron and Neil joined forces in helping Kevin hold his fucking tongue during practices when Nicky struggled to keep up with the rest of them.

It was not gentle support, but it was all they had to offer.

It just... wasn’t fucking enough.

“Jesus, Hemmick, are you fucking crying?” Aaron jerked out of his thoughts at the sound of Jack Nolan’s sharp, mocking voice. It was edged with a cruelty that went beyond the typical assholishness of the Foxes.

“What, forgot how to fucking talk too? Wow, you really are useless aren’t you?” Jack continued when Nicky only flinched at his ridicule and didn’t rebuke him like he usually would.

“Hey, Jack, leave him the fuck alone. You didn’t do so great out there yourself tonight so why don’t you worry about yourself,” Matt barked from where he’d been sitting through Coach’s dress-down. He was wearing his jersey but since he hadn’t played tonight there was no need for him to have to peel gear off or shower.

“Whatever.” Jack rolled his eyes like a petulant fucking teenager, but the look he shot Nicky was all cold predator. “Why don’t you do us all a favor and just go kill yourself?”

Even over the exclamation of Matt’s reprimand, Aaron still heard Nicky’s breath hitch. He remembered, vividly, the night two years ago when he and Nicky had been drinking and he’d asked him ‘How the fuck did make it through? We were fucking assholes, we are assholes, and you still stayed.’ He remembered not expecting the answer he got. He remembered Nicky looking down into his drink and saying, ‘I almost didn’t. Probably the only reason I didn’t try to off myself again was knowing that if I did, you two would go to my parents and I... I couldn’t let that happen. Didn’t care about me, but I could care about you. Caring about you guys kept me alive.’

He remembered the sick feeling in his stomach and the way that knowledge cut through his buzz, striking him sober with one fucking word: again.

Aaron did not make the decision to grab Jack, or if he did it was overwhelmed by the roar of the monster under his skin as it surged suddenly up from whatever dark place it had been lurking since that violent, bloody night last November. All he knew was that one moment he was standing there, and the next he had his hands on something that needed to shut the fuck up.

He only vaguely registered the shouts around him as he dug his fingers into Jack’s shirt and whirled him around. Then the only thing that existed was the feeling of flesh and bone and the slick of blood against his knuckles as he drove his fists into every soft part of the body in front of him as hard as he fucking could. Jacks hands scrabbled ineffectually at Aaron’s shoulders, then his face, trying to hit him or grab his hair or push him off, but for all that Aaron was a small man he was a fucking backliner for a reason and he threw every single ounce of his muscle into shoving Jack into the lockers.

A second later he was on him again, taking a fistful of his hair so he could slam his head into the lockers until the fucker’s knees buckled and he went down.

All he could hear was the rumble of rage in his veins. There was no thought, no goal, no understanding -- not of anything but the raw, unfiltered hate pouring out of him as he followed Jack to the ground. Distantly, he knew there was shouting or screaming -- that there were words being thrown at him and hands desperately trying to haul him back. He felt the fingers curling around his biceps and tugging on his shoulders. But his wrath was far too powerful and each time someone got a grip he was able to wrench free and use that momentum to land another hit.

At one point a solid arm wound around his waist and hauled him up and away. A sound like a feral animal ripped from his throat as Aaron thrashed wildly, trying to throw himself back onto Jack. The man had stopped moving at this point but there was a wet, raspy sound coming from him that still spoke of life and maybe Aaron hadn’t consciously decided to keep going until it stopped, but the drive was there all the same.

The rest of the room was hazy around the edges, people were blurs of sound and color. The only thing in focus was the wheezing form of Jack fucking Nolan on the floor, and Aaron fought viciously to get back to him, jerking at the arms holding him back, kicking and trying to lash out with all his strength.

Until something blocked his view. And it took a minute for Aaron to recognize what it was. To recognize who it was.

“A-Aaron. Aaron. Stop. Please. It’s o-okay. It’s okay. I’m okay. S-stop...”

The rest of the world snapped back into focus at the sound of Nicky’s gasped, broken words. Aaron stopped fighting so suddenly that he and everyone trying to hold him back stumbled. There were three of them, he realized -- Matt, Kevin, and Dan. Neil and Andrew were flanking Nicky, the three of them blocking his view of Jack’s prone, gasping form but not actually trying to stop him from killing him.

Nicky was crying, his eyes wide and his hands trembling as he held them out in front of Aaron, pleading him to stop.

Aaron took a few more heavy breaths and realized he’d been panting. He looked from Nicky to Andrew’s cool, appraising stare, then to Neil’s similar expression before finally glancing beyond them to the mess that might have once been Jack Nolan. When he dragged his gaze back to Nicky, all he said was, “He shouldn’t have opened his fucking mouth.”

Nicky made a strangled sound, something between a sob and a laugh. Then he did something he almost never did and launched forward, wrapping his arms around Aaron in a tight hug. In a reflex that Aaron didn’t even know he had, his arms snapped around his cousin and he hugged him back just as fiercely.

As Nicky sobbed onto his shoulder, Aaron looked over his hunched form and met his brother’s gaze. There weren’t words that could translate the look they shared just then, but if he had to label it, it might have been something like understanding.

#aftg #aftg fanfic #tw: violence #tw: depression #tw: mentions of suicidal thoughts #tw: triggering language #pov aaron minyard #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #protective aaron minyard #asks #100 followers #anonymous #my writing

295 notes · View notes

womenstan · 3 years

Text

I See You When You Run From The Light (within your eyes) - Chapter 3

Ao3 Title : The end of the line Chapter :

When he woke up, the first thing Robbe felt was warmth. It was all-enveloping, seeping through his every muscle. He felt so relaxed and at peace that he found himself wishing he’d never have to get out of bed. Just lay there forever wrapped up in the covers that were hugging him close. He snuggled a little deeper, trying to get a hold of the covers to bring them closer to his body, only to lay his hand on something far too hard to be silk.

Robbe’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he tried patting the surface, trying to understand what was thrown over his stomach, but feeling far too lazy to open up his eyes and be attacked by the sun rays.

“Why are you feeling up my arm?” A voice chuckled, deep, next to his ear.

Robbe startled, opening both his eyes at once, only to lay his eyes on the blonde body next to him. Sander, of course . He’d forgotten they’d both gone back to his place after the party last night, Sander insisting until Robbe caved under his adorable mimics.

Laughing, Robbe switched to softly caressing Sander’s arms, making him smile softly. “Royal secret. If I told you, they’d have to kill you.” He said, trying to sound serious, but ending up barely containing his laughter.

Sander snorted, playing along. “They? Do you have body guards then?”

“Oh yes, only the best ones in the whole country. From the King’s own personal army!”

Sander smirked, in that way that told you he was about to crack a joke he was particularly proud of. He lifted his hand up, bringing it on Robbe’s biceps, “Good, there’s no way you’d be able to defend yourself with such small arms anyways.”

Robbe scoffed indignantly, swatting Sander’s hand away. “Me? Small arms? I’ll show you small arms”, Robbe said, before launching himself on top of Sander, trying to immobilize him. Sander laughed, pushing back. They kept pushing at each other for a while until Robbe decided to show off a little.

In one swift motion, he got one leg over Sander’s hips, effectively straddling him and preventing him from moving away. Sander let out a small gasp of surprise and Robbe used that momentary confusion as an opportunity to grab both his wrists and pin them down to the mattress.

Chest heaving, Robbe smiled, lowering himself over Sander, pressing his arms further into the covers. Sander was panting too, even more so than Robbe was.

“Still think I’m too weak to defend myself?” Robbe teased, proudly.

While Robbe had been expecting more teasing, Sander’s face softened and he relaxed his body under Robbe’s. “I think you’re perfect.”

The fondness in Sander’s voice took Robbe by surprise and, for a moment, he wasn’t sure how to respond. If it’d been anyone else… but it wasn’t. This was Sander and he was like this, always affectionate and saying things like this without realizing what they sounded like.

So, Robbe laughed, brushing the remark aside with a soft ‘idiot’, which only made Sander’s smile widden. He rolled off of him, laying back on the bed and sighing deeply.

“I don’t want to get up, like, ever.” Turning his head towards Sander, he added, “Can we just stay here forever?”

Much to Robbe’s confusion, Sander shook his head. “No way”

Getting up on one elbow and turning his whole body towards Sander, Robbe asked, “What? Why not?”

Sander didn’t answer at first, throwing his feet off the bed and onto the floor. He got up and turned towards Robbe expectantly. When he didn’t hear any sound coming from Robbe, Sander threw his hands up in exasperation, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“ Because , Robin, I’m going to make you the best breakfast you’ve ever had”

Robbe hesitated, chuckling slightly in case it’d been a joke, but Sander seemed dead serious, extending an arm towards Robbe.

“Allez, come”

Robbe sighed, putting his hand in Sander’s and letting himself be tugged up. “Sander…”

Robbe’s whining didn’t deter Sander however, as he led them to the kitchen.

“Ok, get me a pan, some bread and, hm… Ah! Cheese” Sander said, dropping Robbe’s hand in favour of feeling around on the counter to find the stove.

Robbe squinted his eyes at him, slightly worried this wasn’t going to end well. “Sander… Can you even… Like, since you can’t…?”

Sander turned towards Robbe. “Since I can’t see? I’m twenty years old, Robbe, I’ve used a stove before. Don’t worry, just get me the ingredients, you’ll see.”

Still uncertain, Robbe walked slowly towards the cabinets, bringing one over to Sander.

“Ok, I’m going to trust you Sander, but if you burn down the apartment, I’m telling Milan it was your fault” Robbe added, only half-jokingly.

Sander waved him off, before starting the stove.

After a while, Robbe caught onto what Sander was making him.

“Croques? Really? Is that even breakfast food?”

Sander tutted him disapprovingly. “Robbe, everything can be breakfast food if you eat it at breakfast.”

“I don’t think that’s how this works Sander, but whatever you say…” Robbe teased, sitting up on the counter next to where Sander was cooking.

Sander sighed, reaching for a knife and cutting the first croque in half. He took it in his left hand, reaching it out to Robbe. “Stop complaining and try this”

“I’m not even com-” Robbe began, before being interrupted by Sander quite literally shoving the croque into his mouth. He made a noise of complaint, but bit into it anyway, determined to scold Sander immediately after.

Only, as soon as he began to chew, Robbe felt his taste buds explode with joy. The flavour was perfect, the crispiness impeccable, every single bite into the food felt like a whole experience of its own. Robbe couldn’t help but let out a very satisfied hum, making Sander’s face beam with pride.

“Good, right?” He said, clearly already aware of the answer.

Robbe finished swallowing his bite before he answered, sounding bewildered. “Good? Sander, I’m convinced this is the best croque ever made”

Sander blushed a little under the compliment, dipping his head downwards. “I mean, I told you I wasn’t going to fuck this up”

Robbe smiled, extending his arm to ruffle Sander’s hair fondly. “I know, I’m sorry for doubting you. My mind is truly blown right now. I’m going to force you to come over every day to make me breakfast from now on”

Sander only raised his head, softly letting out a “Anytime”.

----------------------------------------

The rest of his weekend passed by in a happy blur, his time spent between joking around with Sander and catching up on his homework. But, as all things do, monday eventually came around the corner, and with it came university.

In all fairness, this time, something else was exceeding his dread of having to go to class: the thought of seeing Noor.

She’d been texting him all weekend, but he’d managed to ignore her easily enough by staying busy. In school though, it would be a lot harder to avoid her.

The worst thing was that he knew he’d promised Sander he would break up with Noor. And it made sense: all they did lately was argue and get mad at each other. So, the problem wasn’t that Robbe didn’t think they should break up, but rather that he would do literally anything to avoid confrontation.

He hated it more than anything else. He didn’t want to hurt Noor, although he supposed ignoring all of her messages and calls was probably also hurting her. If he’d listen to himself, he would simply fire her a breakup text to get it over with, but he wasn’t that shitty.

So, while he was trying to gather the courage to walk up to her and get this over with, his plan was to avoid seeing her at all cost. The good thing about them being together for a while was that he pretty much knew her schedule by now, so he could try to take alternate paths to his classes or hang-out in different spots during his breaks.

It wasn’t exactly convenient, but it wouldn’t be for long anyway. Robbe was going to break up with Noor soon enough and then everything would go back to usual. Or, well, almost everything.

At least, that’s what he told himself Monday, as he had to take a five minutes long detour to get to his first class just so he wouldn’t run into Noor, who had a class next to him.

Coincidentally, it’s also what he told himself Tuesday. He was going to hang out with the guys in the cafeteria for lunch, as they had a common break. Only, as he’d made his way towards the cafeteria, he’d seen Noor exiting the girl’s bathroom and walking in the same direction. He’d quickly fired a text to the boys with a dumb excuse about having forgotten a textbook at home and ran the other way. He ate outside.

On Wednesday, Robbe had been determined to do it. He’d even drafted a little ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech the night before. So, he was ready, right? Except, he’d barely made two steps in Noor’s direction before he was stopped by Yasmina who needed him now , and ‘ no, Robbe, it can’t wait ’.

Turns out one of her friends was into Aaron - which, really? Aaron? - and they needed Robbe to subtly figure out if Aaron could be interested too.

“Yasmina, it’s Aaron . As long as she’s got two eyes and a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure he’ll be up for it.” Robbe sighed, trying not to appear as aggravated as he was. Seriously, did she need to have such a shit timing?

That led him to Thursday, at which point Robbe was almost convinced the universe was against this break up. He’d waited for her before his first class, but to no avail, as she didn’t even show up.

They had one break in common that day, around 1pm, but Thursday afternoons were reserved to hang out with Sander, and Robbe was not about to cancel on him just so he could break up with Noor. So, Robbe decided it would have to wait until friday, as he threw his bag over his shoulder and made his way towards the library where he knew Sander was waiting.

Robbe stopped at the tiny student coffee shop on his campus, ordering for both Sander and him. While he waited in line, he quickly shot Sander a text message to let him know he was done with his class and on his way to him, smiling dumbly at Sander’s answering ‘:D’.

He’d been so busy between school, first trying to avoid Noor, and then trying to find her, that he’d barely had time to text Sander since the weekend, let alone see him. He was glad they could still honour their Thursday tradition, just the two of them hanging out without having to worry about anything - or anyone - else.

The barista handed Robbe the two cups and Robbe hurried to the table where he knew Sander would already be sitting, all of his books and material spread over the table. Sander would probably be hunched over some paper, drawing, that concentrated look on his face. He would slightly stick his tongue out, sitting in between his teeth, his eyebrows furrowed and his hair falling in front of his face. Robbe had to admit it was quite the sight.

At first, Robbe had wondered how Sander could be an artist, seeing as he was blind. He’d always just assumed blind people had no way to draw, since they couldn’t see the paper, the colours or the drawing itself. Sander had simply snorted at that, before patiently explaining his method to Robbe.

He used mostly textured art, like pastel or paint. He’d draw with one hand, alternating between tracing the surface of whatever he wanted drawn and the surface of the paper with the other one. Robbe’s curiosity had pushed him to ask for a demonstration, and Sander had gladly obliged.

It was a fascinating process, and the respect and appreciation Robbe already had for Sander’s talent grew tenfold in the space of a single drawing. He’d just looked at Sander, moving seamlessly across the paper and found himself speechless. The only thought that came to him was that Sander was clearly in his element, that he belonged to the arts.

Still now, every time he’d had the privilege of catching Sander drawing, he’d been overwhelmed with this feeling of pride and warmth, watching entire worlds take form on the blank pages under Sander’s touch.

Sometimes, Robbe found himself thinking that Sander had the ability to make everything he touched turn into art. From the dull beige paper cup of coffee that could rival Albert Anker’s Coffee Drinking once it was held in between Sander’s fingers, to Robbe’s own pale skin that shined bright pink under Sander’s soft strokes.

Or the way he was stroking his hand through his hair right as Robbe walked up to him, pulling it back off of his forehead. That was true art.

Robbe shook the thought out of his head as he scraped back the chair next to Sander and sat down, slowly pushing Sander’s coffee to his hand.

“Robin! Finally!” Sander exclaimed enthusiastically, making Robbe chuckle.

“Missed me?” Robbe teased, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Obviously,” Sander answered, sending him a beaming smile

Robbe laughed, getting his books out of his bag and carefully placing them next to Sander’s stuff on the table.

“What are you drawing?” He asked Sander, trying to peek into his open sketchbook.

Sander smirked, closing his sketchbook before Robbe could properly distinguish the shapes.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, huh?” He teased, making Robbe drop his head to the side in fond exasperation.

“Yes,” Robbe sighed, “I would like to.” He tried to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t help the smile slowly etching its way up his face.

“How badly?” Sander asked, his growing smile indicating he had a joke ready to go.

Robbe rolled his eyes, sighing loudly. “As bad as-”

“Robbe fucking Izjermans!”

Oh . Oh no .

Robbe whipped his head towards the voice, while Sander visibly startled on his chair, dropping his smile instantly.

Robbe mentally groaned when he saw he’d been right about who this voice belonged to. From the library’s entrance, Noor was storming his way, a visible scowl on her face.

Why was it that when Robbe was trying to find her, she was nowhere to be found, but as soon as he’d wanted a moment of peace, she suddenly showed up? What had Robbe done to get such bad karma?

“Noor,” Robbe sighed, “What are you doing here?”

Noor raised an eyebrow, coming to a halt in front of Robbe, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“What do you think I’m doing here? You’ve been ignoring all of my texts and I couldn’t find you anywhere!” Noor half-screamed, earning them a few dirty looks from nearby students.

Before Robbe could answer, Sander scoffed loudly.

“What? You got a problem?” Noor asked him, clearly offended by his reaction.

Sander sighed, bracing himself on the table as he got up to properly face Noor.

“Look, I get that you’re pissed, but Robbe dumped you. He doesn’t owe you anything.” Sander said, keeping his voice levelled, although Robbe could hear the hidden layer of frustration.

It took Robbe’s brain a few seconds to properly realize what Sander had just said, and when he did, it was already too late.

Noor made a surprised noise in the back of her throat, halfway through anger and disbelief.

“Dumped me? What the hell are you talking about?” Noor said, chuckling humourlessly. “Don’t mistake your dreams for reality, Anders.”

Robbe stood up at once, feeling all the blood drain from his face.

“Noor, come on, let’s talk in private.”

Robbe made a move to step towards Noor, but Sander’s arm shot up in front of him, barely missing his face by a few centimeters.

“Robbe didn’t break up with you?” Sander asked, turned in the general direction Noor was in.

Robbe didn’t know what hurt more, the anger in Sander’s voice or the look of pure disappointment on his face.

“Sander, look,” Robbe began, desperately trying to diffuse the whole situation.

Noor’s laugh cut him off, loud and obnoxious, clearly meant to irritate Sander. It seemed to work wonders, as Sander’s jaw clenched in response.

“I don’t know what kind of fucked up fantasies you’ve got going on in your head, Sander, but this is the real world. I guess you might be too crazy to understand what that is.” Noor spit out.

The words hit Sander the same way a punch would have. He stumbled a little backwards, dropping his arm. He turned around, hastily threw all of his stuff inside his bag in a jumble, picked his bag up and walked away without a word.

“Sander!” Robbe yelled, cringing at the desperation he could hear in his own voice. “Sander, wait!”

Robbe started putting his papers back into his own bag, determined to run after Sander, but Noor’s fingers settled around his arm, pulling him back softly.

“Come on, Robbe. Let him be, he’s not good for you anyway.” Noor said, smiling as if Robbe’s world wasn’t falling apart in front of him.

Robbe gave a sharp tug on his arm, freeing himself from Noor’s hold. He shook his head at her, feeling rage boiling up inside of him and threatening to overflow.

“You know what, Noor? We’re through. Over, done, finished!” Robbe yelled, too angry to find it in himself to care that the entire library was witness to their spectacle.

Robbe threw his bag over his shoulder and stormed towards the entrance, where Sander’s back had disappeared barely a few seconds ago.

“What the fuck, Robbe? Do you not love me anymore?” Noor asked, her voice high-pitched and frail.

Robbe sighed, turning back around to face her one last time.

“You’re cruel, Noor. You’re just cruel.” He said, voice tired.

He didn’t wait around to hear her try to convince him he was wrong and that Sander had somehow manipulated him, instead choosing to take off after Sander.

Robbe’s heart was beating so fast that he feared it might fly straight out of his chest. His mind was immediately going to the worst scenarios, telling him Sander would never forgive him, that it was over, that there was no point going after him... But Robbe knew better than that.

He knew that Sander was probably the best thing in his life right now and that he wasn’t going to let him walk away.

So, out he ran, the heavy library doors shutting behind him with a loud ‘thump’ .

Robbe looked around frantically, trying to spot a patch of blond hair in the sparse crowd of students, but to no avail. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging a little at the strands in frustration.

That’s when he heard a loud crash coming from the boys’ washroom, and something clicked inside his head. He ran towards the room, which warranted him a couple side-looks, but his attention was focused on one sole thing: getting to Sander.

Inside, there didn’t appear to be anyone. All the stalls seemed closed, and the general area was empty. As Robbe stepped further in, he heard a small sniffling sound that broke his heart at once.

He put his bag down against the wall and walked along the stalls, softly pushing the doors open. When he reached the third to last one of the row, the door didn’t open, locked from the inside.

Robbe sighed softly. “Sander?”

The sniffling stopped.

“Sander, please. I just want to explain.”

Nothing but silence.

Robbe leaned his forehead on the door with a small thud.

“I’m sorry, Sander. I really am. I… I should have told you,” Robbe began, unsuccessfully trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “I did mean to break up with her.”

A scof came from the stall, turning into a sob halfway through, and Robbe wondered if there was any piece of his heart left to shatter.

“Sander…” Robbe whispered, worry seeping through his tone. “I’m not lying. I spent the week looking for her too. I couldn’t do it over text, that’s just… I’m not an asshole. Or, trying not to be.” Robbe explains, “I broke up with her just now. What she said to you…” Letting out a frustrated sigh, Robbe shakes his head at the memory. “She’s so horrible. I’m so sorry Sander”

“Don’t be.” Sander’s voice came from the stall, muffled. “She’s right,” He laughed, but it was a bitter sound.

“Sander, no. She isn’t.” Robbe said, a little destabilized at Sander’s sudden lack of self-confidence.

He heard Sander breathe in deeply inside the stall, and Robbe prepared himself for the worst.

“I’m fucking crazy, Robbe, ok? I’m bipolar.” Sander yelled, but he didn’t sound angry. All Robbe could hear was pain, and fear. Just so much fear. “So, yeah, she’s right. She’s right and you should probably go before I fuck up your life too.”

The silence that hung between them after Sander’s declaration was heavy. Robbe felt suffocated under the weight, and he could only begin to try to imagine how Sander was feeling.

“Sander,” He said, keeping his voice low but firm. “Let me in.”

Time stood still as Robbe waited for Sander to make a decision. Seconds passed by, maybe even minutes, Robbe wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, forehead against the door.

Slowly, he stepped back, prepared to argue his way into the stall, when he heard the lock slide open. The door didn’t budge, but Robbe wasn’t mistaken. This was Sander’s way of letting him in, both literally and figuratively.

Robbe took a deep breath, slowly pushing the door open. Sander was leaning on the opposite wall, head hung low and turned away from Robbe, in an attempt to hide his distress.

Robbe slowly closed the door behind him, locking it, before turning back to Sander. The stall wasn’t big and with the two of them, the space was definitely cramped. Robbe took that to his advantage, merely raising his arms to be able to graze Sander’s shoulders.

Sander stiffened, but didn’t move away. Robbe took that as an encouragement and, little by little, wrapped his arms around Sander’s now-trembling form. As soon as Sander’s chest collided with Robbe’s, Robbe felt Sander’s entire body give up on him.

Sander hid his face in Robbe’s shoulder, body limp in Robbe’s arms. As for Robbe, he had one arm caressing Sander’s back in large, circular motions, while the other was stroking his hair softly. He could feel Sander shake through his sobs, but Robbe ignored the urge to make him stop crying.

Sander needed to let it out, and Robbe would be there for him, even if it killed him to see Sander suffering.

Robbe whispered a steady stream of ‘it’s ok’, ‘I’m here’ and ‘let it out’ into Sander’s ear, and slowly but surely, Sander relaxed against him and his sobbing subdued.

When Robbe felt like Sander had calmed back down, he took his chance.

“Sander, you’re not crazy.” Robbe started, making Sander snort humorlessly. “You’re not. Having bipolar doesn’t make you crazy, Sander. And it’s definitely not going to make me go away.”

Robbe tugged Sander back, just enough to look at him as he said, “You’re not some kind of monster, Sander, and you sure as hell aren’t ruining my life. You’re like, the best person in my life right now.”

Sander’s eyes glistened with tears that threatened to fall, but the corner of his lips lifted up a little at that.

“I don’t care what happened between you and Britt, and I care even less about what Noor thinks of you. I know you, and I know that you’re an amazing, caring and talented person that I want in my life for as long as you want to be.” Robbe said, all at once, like the words were spilling out of his mouth the same way Sander’s tears were spilling out of his eyes. Out of his control, filled to the brim with emotions, but, oh, so liberating.

Sander stayed silent, a thunderstorm of emotions hidden in the quiet. Robbe was suddenly glad Sander couldn’t see him, because he was pretty sure his face looked like an open book, and he wasn’t ready to confront what was written on it yet.

He didn’t know why exactly, couldn’t pinpoint what it was about this moment specifically, about Sander’s stare, but it felt like something had shifted between them. Like there would be a before this, and an after this.

Robbe smiled at Sander, stroking his hair one last time before unwrapping his arms from around him.

Sander laughed, wiping at his wet cheeks in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we had this conversation in the school’s bathroom.”

Robbe chuckled, shaking his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sander. I have all of my heart-to-hearts in school bathrooms!”

Sander raised an eyebrow, a teasing look on his face. “The empty paper toilet dispensers and the vague urine smells really do it for you, huh?”

Robbe tried to suppress his smile, keeping his tone serious. “Oh, yeah. Big time!”

Sander wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Robbe responded by giving him a light push on the arm. They made their way out of the washroom, while Robbe avoided the stares of curious students wondering what all the fuss had been about (and probably questioning the tear streaks on both of their faces…).

When they reached the front doors, Robbe hesitated a moment, holding Sander back with a hand to his forearm. Sander stopped, turning back in Robbe’s direction.

“Do you maybe wanna go hang out at my flat?” Robbe asked, cringing at how fast his heartbeat had gotten at the simple sentence. He never got anxious when he asked the boys to hang around, although he hadn’t done so in a long time. So, why was it that whenever he had to ask Sander to hang out, Robbe’s hands got clammy and his heartbeat increased tenfold?

Sander just snorted in response, which only served to make Robbe even more apprehensive.

“You scared me! Of course, I do.” Sander said, now smiling brightly at Robbe.

Robbe wanted to be a little mad at Sander making fun of his hesitation, but he couldn’t help but beam in response, a comfortable warmth settling in his stomach.

They walked to the flatshare, arms locked at the crook of their elbows (if anyone asked, Robbe would say it was to guide Sander, despite them both knowing that Sander didn’t actually need it).

It was a sunny day, and it would have been too warm for Sander’s leather jacket had there not been a chilly breeze flowing through the air. Robbe wasn’t much of a fan of warm days, but when he saw the way the sunlight hit Sander’s face, perfectly illuminating his side profile of a golden hue, he figured he’d like them a lot more from now on.

Robbe couldn’t make himself look away from Sander’s face, intoxicated by the way it looked under the daylight. From the curve of his nose, to the way his eyes glistened, everything about Sander’s face had Robbe in a trance-like state.

He did eventually turn away, after he’d stumbled over a crack in the pavement and Sander had made fun of him, asking ‘who’s the blind one, huh?’ Sander had only been teasing, but Robbe figured it might be smarter for them to have at least a pair of eyes on the road.

Once they reached the apartment, Robbe didn’t even have to unlock the door to know that everyone was home. The sounds of cheers and laughter came through the door and resonated all the way to the staircase, warming Robbe’s heart instantly.

He barely had time to open the door and usher Sander in, before he was attacked by a swarm of bodies.

“Milan, you’re kind of crushing me” Robbe croaked out, the strength of Milan’s hug pressing all of his internal organs together painfully.

Milan loosened his arms immediately and stepped back, an apologetic smile on his face.

“So, what? Robbe gets all the love and I get none?” Sander asked, with a small (irresistible) pouth.

“Sander! Of course you do, come here!” Milan exclaimed, practically jumping in Sander’s arms. Zoë followed suit immediately, eyeing Senne, who just shrugged before joining in. Robbe laughed, moving to take his shoes off before they could attack him again.

“Come on guys, don’t suffocate him to death!” Robbe said, which got him a snort from Sander in response.

“You’re just jealous Robin,” Sander said, winking. The group hug slowly dissolved, as Milan let out a ‘ooooh burn!’ that made Robbe shake his head, amused.

“Sure, I am. It’s not like I’ve hugged you a thousand times before already” Robbe teased, while everyone returned to whatever they were doing in the kitchen.

Sander bent down to untie his shoes, shaking his head. “See, that’s precisely it. I’ve got you addicted”

Robbe laughed, sending a small ‘you wished’ Sander’s way, seemingly unaffected, despite his heart that skipped a beat in fear at Sander’s words.

They navigated to Robbe’s room, where Sander immediately laid down on the bed in a star shape.

Robbe went to his desk and took his books out of his bag, while Sander groaned in the background.

“Sander? You ok there?” Robbe asked, stifling a laugh, his back to Sander.

Sander sighed, hard. “Yeah, but I hope you realize that I’m never leaving your bed again. I’ve melted into the mattress.”

Robbe threw him a glance, seeing Sander had somehow snaked his way under the cover.

“Suit yourself, just don’t steal all the blankets,” Robbe answered, to which Sander scoffed.

“I would never do that! I’ll have you know that I’m a perfect blanket gentleman.”

Robbe hummed, sitting down to start working on his essay. He was quickly bored though, and with Sander in his room, Robbe didn’t really feel like slaving away doing homework. He turned to face Sander, only to find him fast asleep, his mouth open and squished against the pillow.

Robbe chuckled under his breath, getting up to take a closer look. Once he got within reach of Sander, he slowly caressed his hair. The gesture made Sander frown a little, before he buried himself closer to the pillow, sighing happily.

Robbe smiled fondly, before moving away and to the end of the bed. He still didn’t feel like working on his homework, so he grabbed his controller and decided to game until Sander woke up from his impromptu nap.

After his third loss in a row, Robbe threw his controller aside and figured he was too out of it to keep playing. Looking at his phone, he saw that Sander had been out for a little over thirty minutes, so Robbe figured he might as well join him.

Taking his hoodie off, he walked to the other side of the bed in his shirt and jeans. He laid down next to Sander, who had turned to face Robbe’s way at some point in the past half hour.

When he was awake, Sander’s face always transpired a panoply of emotions. Even his eyes would glisten, darken and light up in the span of a single conversation. Robbe had always thought that blind people’s eyes wouldn’t hold much emotions, but he was clearly wrong. There were more emotions in a single one of Sander’s pupils than there was in most people’s entire face.

Robbe was pretty sure that’s what made him so fascinated with Sander’s face (because, let’s admit it, he was absolutely obsessed with it). He’d read somewhere that eyes were the window to someone’s soul, and while he was more inclined to think it was pure bullshit at first, since he’d met Sander, he’d come to understand the meaning of those words.

Robbe brushed a strand of hair that had fallen over Sander’s face, softly, trying his best not to disturb Sander’s peaceful sleep. Robbe didn’t know how to describe the swelling that overtook his chest as he watched Sander’s body raise and fall with each breath he took. He’d never felt this before, this peaceful yet gut-wrenching feeling that was filling up his heart.

There were a lot of feelings that Robbe had never felt before he’d met Sander. He didn’t know what it was about Sander that provoked those strong, undecipherable feelings that swallowed Robbe whole, but… He would be lying if he said he hated them. Whatever was causing this, Robbe didn’t mind. He liked Sander and he liked feeling like this, giddy in a way alcohol could never provide, yet rested in a way no amount of sleep could bring about.

He rested his hand in between his body and Sander’s, laying his head down on the pillow. He could feel Sander’s hot breath hit his cheeks from how close they were laying, but it didn’t annoy him. On the contrary, it made Robbe feel safe, content even, as he slowly drifted in and off of sleep.

His state of semi-slumber was interrupted when he felt Sander stirring awake next to him. Sander’s hand stretched and fell down on Robbe’s chest, which made Sander startle.

“Robbe?” He asked, voice still full of sleep.

Robbe hummed in answer.

“What did I just hit?” Sander questioned, his eyebrows furrowing as he felt around Robbe’s chest for clues.

“Chest” Robbe answered, chuckling at the concentrated look on Sander’s face.

“Ahhhh, all good then. Sorry for that,” Sander said, giving Robbe’s chest one last apologetic pat before rising to sit up. Robbe followed.

“Hey, what time is it?” Sander asked, sounding a little stressed all of a sudden.

Robbe looked around for his phone, finding it near his desk. “Hmmm, just about four, why?”

Sander rose to his feet so fast that Robbe feared he might fall down when he started swaying. “Shit! I have to be back home by four thirty to babysit, I’m so sorry. I promised my mom and-”

Robbe interrupted Sander, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Sander, it’s chill. Don’t worry”

Sander nodded, but didn’t seem convinced, as he chewed on his lips. He mumbled something under his breath, too low for Robbe to hear.

“What?” Robbe prodded, curious.

Sander sighed, running a hand over his face. “I can’t believe I spent our time together sleeping. I’m so sorry, Robbe.”

Robbe sighed as well, but a little more tenderly. “Sander, I swear it’s fine. I slept too. Besides, we can always hang out tomorrow, once we’re done with classes, right?”

That suggestion seemed to enchant Sander, whose eyes immediately lit up. He snapped his fingers as if he’d just had an illumination, a smile spreading on his face.

"What? You look like you’ve just had a moment of genius.” Robbe teased.

“Even better! I’m going out with friends from uni tomorrow night.” Sander said, excitedly.

Robbe couldn’t help but feel his face fall at that. “Oh. Ok, I get it”

Sander shook his head. “No! No, you don’t. I meant to ask you this earlier, but forgot…” He took a breath, as if steeling himself. “Would you want to meet them? Tomorrow?”

Robbe was stunned into silence, staring at Sander, his mouth hanging open. Sander wanted to present him to his actual friends? He wanted to include Robbe in other parts of his life?

“How is that even a question? Of course I do!” Robbe said, getting just as excited about the idea as Sander.

“Yeah?” Sander added, his smile ever growing.

“Yes!” Robbe said, adding, “Since when do you even have other friends?”

Sander stuck his tongue out at Robbe. “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Robin.”

“Thank you, I think so too”

Sander grabbed his stuff after that, promising he’d send Robbe the address as soon as he’d be home. Robbe suggested walking Sander to the tram, but Sander declined, insisting he could get there on his own.

When Sander was gone, Robbe closed the door and leaned his back against it, slowly sliding to the floor. He was going to meet Sander’s actual friends. He was going to meet Sander’s actual friends! Fuck! Why had he accepted the invitation? This was such a bad idea, they were probably going to hate him and-

Groaning, Robbe lowered his head on his knees.

“Woah, there. Someone’s having a crisis,” Milan said, to which Robbe only grunted in answer.

“Come on, Robbe. What’s on your mind?” Milan asked, sitting down next to him.

“Sander invited me to meet his other university friends tomorrow night.” Robbe sighed.

Milan blinked at him, confused. “And?”

“And, I said yes!” Robbe half-screamed, exasperated by his own actions.

Milan chuckled, looking just as puzzled. “How is that a bad thing? It’s good that he wants you to meet them!”

Robbe groaned at Milan’s incomprehension. “They’re gonna hate me Milan! They’re probably all cool art kids and I’m…” He gestured vaguely towards himself, “not!”

Milan sighed, patting Robbe’s back sympathetically. “Come on, Robbe. You’re smart, interesting and super cute! There’s no way they won’t fall in love with you the second they see you.”

Robbe threw a glance Milan’s way, “Thanks Milan.”

Milan nodded, “Good luck! You’ll be great,” He said, getting up and walking away.

Robbe’s worries were far from gone, but he was glad that Milan thought so highly of him. If all else failed, he knew he’d always have the flatshare to fall back on. That was a constant Robbe was so grateful to have in his life, he didn’t think he could ever find words to express it properly.

------------------

The next day passed by so slowly that it felt painful. It’s like time had decided to mock him, by prolonging his suffering.

Robbe hadn’t registered a single word from his lectures, spending the hours looking back and forth at the clock, so much so that he feared he might end up with a torticollis by the end of the day. If the end of the day ever came, that is.

The second his last lecture of the afternoon was dismissed, Robbe had pounced on the door, practically running all the way back to his flat.

Sander had, as promised, texted him the address the night before. They were meeting at a local bar, nothing too fancy, but Robbe’s usual ‘jogging and sweater’ school attire would probably be too lowkey.

Robbe tried rummaging through his closet, throwing about half of it out before giving up.

“Milan! Milan!” He screamed, hoping Milan would be willing to help.

A second later, he popped his head into the room.

“You called for me?” He asked.

“Yes. Milan, can I please borrow something of yours for tonight? Everything I own is just… wrong” Robbe sighed, pleading Milan with his eyes.

Milan seemed to mull it over, before he threw the door wide open. “Of course you can! Come with, I’ll turn this pumpkin into a prince!”

Robbe laughed, following Milan around the house. “I’m pretty sure the pumpkin gets turned into a coach, not a prince.”

Milan stopped dead in his tracks, turning back to Robbe with a warning finger.

“Do you want my help or not?”

Robbe nodded vehemently.

“Then don’t question my Disney knowledge, Robbe! Flatmates rule #35!”

Robbe raised his hands in surrender, laughing, before Milan started back towards his own room, Robbe on his heels.

Milan did deliver on his promise, after all. Robbe was dressed in a nice long-sleeved shirt with fitted jeans, nothing too flashy, but classy enough to look like he’d put an effort into his outfit (which he, or rather Milan, had).

The bar wasn’t far from Robbe’s home, so he decided to simply walk there. He figured he could shake his nerves out on the way there, and, hopefully, be a little calmer once he’d reach his destination.

The breeze was nice, flowing through his curls. He had been smart enough to bring a jacket, in case the night grew colder as it got later. Despite the atmosphere and his precautions, Robbe couldn’t help the hammering of his heart against his ribcage. He felt even worse than he had that one time in second grade when he’d been called out in class to make a presentation about a book he’d never bothered to read.

Soon enough, he reached the bar, which seemed to be busy with customers. Robbe closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. He tried to tell himself that everything would go smoothly, that Sander’s friends would like him, and that he’d get out of this alive and with his pride intact. If the shaking in his hands was anything to go by, he wasn’t very good at convincing himself.

He sighed, shaking his hands out, before walking into the bar. A radio was playing in the background, just barely covering the noise of the chatter. Robbe walked a little further in, immediately spotting Sander in the corner, sitting at a table with three other people.

Robbe took another deep breath for good luck, and made his way to their table. All three pairs of (functional) eyes were staring at him as he walked, more curious than austere, which reassured Robbe a little.

A blonde guy was the first to signal Robbe’s arrival. “This must be the famous Robbe!”

“Yeah, hi!” Robbe said, nodding in everyone’s direction.

Sander’s whole body whipped towards Robbe when he spoke. “Robbe! You’re here! Sit, sit,”

Sander fumbled with the chair next to him, making space for Robbe to sit next to him. Robbe thanked him, sitting down, trying not to be too unsettled by the looks Sander’s friends kept throwing each other.

Sander’s right hand came to rest on Robbe’s left shoulder immediately.

“Did you find the place easily? I think it’s pretty close to your place, isn’t it?” Sander asked, with the same considerate tone he took every time he wanted to make sure Robbe was ok.

Robbe figured he could probably sense his nervousness. Hell, anyone in a five mile radius who took one look at him could probably tell he was shitting his pants.

“Yeah, it was fine, don’t worry Sander” Robbe answered, smiling.

Sander smiled as well, more to himself, but Robbe still caught it and it made him feel a little more at ease.

Only a little though, because the same boy from earlier decided to clear his throat at that moment, making both Robbe and Sander turn their head towards him abruptly.

He had both of his eyebrows raised, and a knowing smile floating on his face.

“Sooo, Robbe, what are you studying?”

The night went on pretty similarly. After the initial interrogation, Robbe stayed a bit more silent, observing how Sander interacted with his friends.

At some point, Robbe was listening to a drunken story from one of the girls, Marie, while tapping the fingers of his hand on the table. He hadn’t even noticed the nervous tic, before Sander’s hand came to rest on top of it. Robbe’s eyes were instantly drawn to their overlapping hands.

Sander squeezed once in reassurance, and it made Robbe smile. Even in social situations like these, Sander always had a way of knowing exactly how Robbe was feeling, and exactly how to make him feel better. Robbe squeezed back, before Sander slowly took his hand back.

The night wasn’t much different from Robbe and Sander’s regular nights, in that Sander acted exactly the same way he always had with Robbe. When something really funny made him laugh, he would softly knock his forehead on Robbe’s shoulder, hiding his face as he giggled. When he couldn’t remember where he’d placed his glass, he’d lightly tap Robbe’s hand with his own, a silent signal that Robbe had long learned, and Robbe would silently pass Sander’s glass over to him. And when Sander felt Robbe become too antsy, he’d place his hand on Robbe’s bouncing knee, tapping fingers or shaky hands.

Before knowing Sander, Robbe hadn’t been used to touchy people, but now that he was, he found Sander’s small, mindless gestures calming, in the same familiar way that your childhood beddings or your mama’s hugs appease you.

After a while, the blond guy, Max, sipped the last of his beer, knocking it back against the table.

“So, who wants what? This round’s on me!” Max said, already pushing to get up.

Sander stood up at once, surprising everyone at the table.

“No! I’ll go. It’s my turn with the tab, anyway.” Sander said, sounding sure of himself.

Robbe furrowed his eyebrows, but said nothing when he saw Max sit back down and cheer Sander on. Everyone passed their orders and Sander repeated them once before expertly making his way to the bartender.

“How does he navigate so well everywhere?” Robbe asked out loud, to no one particularly. Max probably assumed the question was directed to him, since he took it upon himself to answer.

“Oh, that? It’s like his little superpower. Bring him somewhere once or twice and he’ll know the place by heart.” Max said, earning a few chuckles from the girls and a curious glance from Robbe.

If Sander was so good with directions, then why did he always let Robbe guide him by the arm? Robbe had never really thought about the fact that Sander could seemingly perfectly get back home by himself, but required Robbe’s assistance in the flatshare or when they went out somewhere.

His thoughts were interrupted by Marie.

“Say, you two are pretty close, huh?” She asked, her smile telling Robbe that her question covered a hidden meaning.

“Yeah, sure, he’s a good friend.” Robbe shrugged, smiling politely.

Marie and the other girl, Anne, exchange an amused look.

“Yeah, I bet you must be really good friends,” Anne added, laughing.

Robbe’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“I don't get the joke” He said, a little annoyed.

Max sighed, like an exasperated parent. “Robbe, haven’t you noticed that Sander is a little…” He looked towards Marie, “touchy?”

Robbe frowned. “Yeah? He’s blind, touch is, like, his way of seeing.”

Max nodded. “Then, why does he only ever touch you ?”

Robbe could feel his features harden. He wasn’t dumb, he could clearly understand what Max was insinuating.

“He doesn’t.” Robbe answered, his tone sharp and severe.

Max smiled, as if he could clearly see through Robbe’s bluff. He held Robbe’s gaze.

“He does, though.”

Robbe thought back to all the times he’d been with Sander and other people. He did accept Milan’s group hugs, but even when he came over to eat at the flatshare, he wouldn’t purposefully brush his hands on Milan’s, Zoë’s or Senne’s. If they went to catch a movie with the boys, Sander would only ever lay his head on Robbe’s shoulder, curling up into his side. Even at Sander’s house, Robbe couldn’t remember Sander being so tactile with his mother or his sister. He always did stuff himself, and if he needed them, he’d call them out loud instead of touching them to get their attention the way he did with Robbe.

And tonight. Sander had kept a free seat next to him for Robbe. He’d touched Robbe, almost constantly in one way or another. But he’d never even accidentally brushed against one of his other friends. He wasn’t cold towards them, and you could see the friendship that was linking them together, but still… No touch.

If Sander was truly that tactile, then wouldn’t his childhood friend, Max, and his other uni friends notice he’s tactile as well?

So, if Sander was only ever tactile with Robbe, then why? Was it funny to him? Did Sander think he could try and see what he could do, how far he could go, before Robbe would catch up?

The befriending, the breakup, the mysterious past with Britt… Everything was making sense, now. Robbe had been played, hard. He didn’t know why, what motive Sander could possibly have to make a fool out of Robbe, but he’d succeeded.

Robbe felt angry, betrayed and ashamed. But most of all, he felt pain. He could sense his heart cracking and falling into tiny pieces, as more and more worries overtake his mind.

Whatever he had left of pride was holding back his tears from rolling down his cheeks. He got up, grabbed his bag and coat.

“I... I have to go.” Robbe told the group of three, hurrying towards the entrance like his life depended on it (and at the moment, he felt like it truly did).

He slammed the door open, stepping outside as the first tear streamed down his face. He tried to wipe it away, but it only got replaced with even more tears. He walked down the small steps and leaned against the wall, his head tilted to the sky.

He was furious. He wanted nothing more than to go back in there, make a scene and demand explanations from Sander. But even more than that, he was humiliated. It wasn’t the first time he’d been made fun of, but this time, it hurt a lot more and a lot deeper. What he felt with Sander…

It’s true what they say, he supposes. Ignorance truly is bliss.

Robbe heard the doorbell of the bar ring, but he didn’t pay attention to it.

“Robbe? Robbe!” a voice shouted from his right.

Sander.

“Fuck off, Sander.” Robbe said, getting ready to walk away, but Sander was quicker in grabbing his arm. Robbe sighed tiredly, too exhausted and hurt to fight. “Let go,”

Sander shook his head firmly.

“No. No, Robbe, come on. I don’t know what they told you, but whatever it was, it’s definitely not what you think.” Sander pleaded.

“I don’t care, Sander. Whatever little game you were playing, I hope you had your fun. I’m out.” Robbe said, trying, unsuccessfully, to shake his arm out of Sander’s grasp. “Let me go, Sander!”

“Robbe, Robbe, listen to me. Please. I wasn’t playing any game, I swear, I can explain. Please.” Sander was practically begging, and Robbe could see tears forming in his eyes. He turned his head away.

“Let go,” was all Robbe said, trying to appear cold and composed.

Sander loosened his grip, and Robbe thought he’d finally listened.

A second later, Sander’s hands were cupping his face. Another second later, and Sander’s lips were on his.

Robbe was frozen in place at first, his brain unable to process everything that was happening.

The warmth from Sander’s hands on Robbe’s cold, wet, cheeks. The warmth of Sander’s mouth against his own. The explosion of heat pooling in his stomach. The explosion in his own brain.

Sander was… Kissing him?

Robbe brought his hands up to Sander’s shoulders, pushing him back. He felt a little bad when he saw Sander stumble backwards, not realizing how hard he had pushed him away.

“Sander… I…” Robbe started, unable to form a single coherent thought.

“I like you, Robbe. A lot. A lot more than other people. So, that’s why. I wasn’t playing you.” Sander said, a sad smile dancing on his lips.

Robbe took a small, tentative step back. He could feel his body shaking, badly, as if the temperature had suddenly dropped well under zero.

“Sander… I don’t… I’m not…” He swallowed painfully, “I don’t like you, not like that .”

The word was said with a bit more venom than Robbe had been shooting for, and he could see the second it hit Sander.

Sander’s face crumpled, as he whispered a small, desperate, “What?”

Robbe tried to breathe in, but even his breathing was shaky. “I’m so sorry, Sander. I’m… I have to go. I just… I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Robbe threw Sander one last apologetic look, turning on his heels and walking away.

The last thing he heard were Sander’s first sobs. His own followed soon after.

As soon as Robbe turned the corner, he let his tears flow freely as he took off in a run. He didn’t even know where he was going, or where he was, but he didn’t care.

His whole world had just fallen apart and the most important person in his life was gone.

#wtfock #wtfock fic #drijzermans #sobbe #I see you when you run from the light (within your eyes)#IT'S HERE KIDS

19 notes · View notes

thejolexgroupchat · 4 years

Text

the one where they met in med school - part twenty-two

siblings and paper rings

Hello everyone!! Thanks so much for all of your support for this fic. We hope you enjoy this next section!

(March 2009)

———

"Alex!" Meredith screeched as she met him in the hallway. "Alex! Answer your damn phone. I've been trying to call you for the past hour. Why weren't you answering my calls?"

"Sorry, Jo and I were in an on-call room, ya know," Alex smirked, a smug glint in his eye.

"Ew, gross," Meredith made a face. "I did not need to know that."

"Well, aren't you happy that I didn't answer your calls while we were—"

"No, no, I'm going to stop you right there because I don't want to hear about the dirty, jailhouse hooker things that you and Jo do in the dark corners of the hospital," Meredith shuddered. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about?”

“What did you want to talk about?” Alex exhaled impatiently.

“I wanted to talk about why your brother showed up at my house this morning while I was in the shower,” Meredith whisper-yelled. “Why didn’t I know you have a brother? And why doesn’t he know where you live?”

“Crap,” Alex paused in the middle of the hallway. “What’s he doing here?”

“I don’t know, but I told him I’d bring him here with me to see you, so he’s hanging out in the lounge right now,” Meredith answered.

The pair walked down to the residents’ lounge quickly. When Alex entered, he saw his brother standing there, talking to Izzie, Lexie, Jackson and Cristina.

“Alex is the oldest, then me, and then Amber,” Aaron took a bite out of the granola bar in his hand. “Amber’s graduating from St. Savior’s in May. She’s… she’s smart like Alex. She could go to college if she wanted to, but she’s like “what’s the point?” you know?” And I don’t know what to tell her. Alex is the doctor in the family. I just move people for a living.”

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Alex chuckled lightly, startling Aaron, whose face lit up upon hearing Alex’s voice.

“Alex!” Aaron grinned and pulled his older brother into a tight hug. “Man you got old.”

“Dude, uh, what are you doing here?” Alex asked again.

“I had to drive to Portland on a job, and since Portland is in the neighborhood...” Aaron shrugged.

“Well, Portland is not in the neighborhood,” Alex shook his head, an amused smile on his face.

“It’s three hours,” Aaron waved dismissively. “I can do three hours in my sleep.”

“Alex, he’s your brother. He’s allowed to come say hi,” Lexie rolled her eyes.

“I’m overdue for a visit,” Aaron explained. “It’s been almost five and a half years.”

“No it has not,” Alex made a face.

“Since you’ve been home?” Aaron raised his eyebrows. “Five and a half years.”

“You haven’t been home in five years?” Izzie gasped.

“Has it been five years?” Meredith looked at Alex expectantly.

“Amber was twelve the last time we saw you. It was that Christmas when you brought Jo home for the first time and mom walked in on you guys having sex because you’d just gotten together the night before,” Aaron chuckled at the memory.

“Glad to see some things never change,” Cristina muttered under her breath. “We walk in on them on a weekly basis around here. They've been going at it like rabbits for the past few weeks.”

“We were not having sex,” Alex protested. “We were… kissing that’s all.”

“Oh yes, kissing with no clothes on. Definitely not having sex,” Aaron quipped sarcastically, garnering a few chuckles from the residents in the room. “Where is Jo by the way? Doesn’t she work here with you?”

“Aaron?”

“Speak of the devil,” Jackson nudged Lexie as Jo stood in the doorway of the lounge.

“Jo?”

“Ah! Aaron?” Jo rushed over and embraced him enthusiastically. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it!” Jo pulled away to get a good look at Aaron. “Look at you. You’re all grown up.”

“Grown up enough to get you to leave my brother for me?” Aaron joked.

“Yikes, I hate to break it to you, but there’s only one Karev that holds the number one spot in my heart,” Jo paused for dramatic effect. “Amber.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughed at his girlfriend. “I think my mom would agree too. I think all of us would agree.”

“He’s right,” Aaron nodded, a smile on his face.

“So, what’s going on?” Jo asked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but, why are you here?”

“Well, I missed you guys,” Aaron tilted his head. “But since you guys are doctors, I thought I’d ask…” Aaron lifted up his shirt. “Should I be worried about this?”

***

When he woke up that morning, Alex did not think he’d be spending the first part of his day trying to locate Dr. Bailey in order to beg her to perform his brother’s umbilical hernia repair pro bono. But there he found himself filling out his brother’s paperwork as Aaron roamed the halls in a hospital gown saying God knows what to all of his coworkers. By the time Alex found Aaron again, he was sitting at a chair behind the nurses station, staring at the scans the Jo had pulled up.

“And that right there is a kidney,” Jo pointed at the screen.

“No way,” Aaron’s lips curved up slightly. “That’s so cool. Sometimes I wish I would’ve gone to school or training of some sort. I’ve always thought that I could’ve been a good firefighter.”

“You’ve still got plenty of time,” Jo encouraged. “You’re young and can do whatever you want.”

“I guess you’re right,” Aaron nodded. “I gotta live through this surgery first.”

“It’s a simple procedure,” Alex explained as he came up beside them. “Dr. Bailey is one of the best and she’s done this countless times. You’re going to be fine.”

“Alright, well I’ve got to go,” Jo straightened and placed a small kiss on Alex’s cheek. “I’m in the pit today with Hunt. Love you!”

“Love you, too,” Alex replied watching as Jo walked away.

“You look stupid,” Aaron made fun of his older brother who glared at him. “I’m serious. You’re watching her walk away like you’re never going to see her again.”

“Shut up,” Alex rolled his eyes. “Let’s get you to your room.”

“Why aren’t you guys, you know, married yet?” Aaron asked when they finally got back to his hospital room.

“Because we’re not,” Alex replied simply.

“That’s not an answer,” Aaron sat down on the bed. “I’m serious. Why haven’t you married her? You guys have been together for over five years. What are you doing? Is this it? Is this all you have to give of yourself?”

“Of course not,” Alex sighed. “Look, we haven’t really told anyone this, but we’re kind of trying for a baby.”

“You’re trying for a what, now?” Aaron’s eyes bulged. “A baby? As in an actual child that’s half you, half her, that you would raise together?”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed out a shaky laugh. “Yeah we are… well, weren’t not exactly trying, just not... preventing anything.”

“That’s great man. I’m happy for you two. I’m glad that you feel ready to take that step,” Aaron patted Alex's shoulder. “That still doesn’t explain why you haven’t popped the question yet. Grandma Lois would kill you if she found out that you were trying to knock your girl up before marrying her.”

“I think I’m going to propose soon. I need to get a ring though, and it has to be perfect… I want to give her everything. She deserves that,” Alex stated quietly.

“You may want to give her everything, but honestly? I don’t think she wants everything,” Aaron looked up at his older brother’s puzzled face. “I think she just wants you. And to be married to you and have kids with you. You’re all she wants and all she really needs. I know you aren’t used to that because of the way we grew up, but Alex, you’re going to keep making excuses for why you can’t propose for the rest of your life as long as you keep thinking that she deserves better than what you can give her.”

“When did you get so smart?” Alex narrowed his eyes. “I swear, the last time I saw you, the only thing on your mind was football and sex.”

“I grew up,” Aaron shrugged, a dimpled smile donning his cheeks. “Just ask her to marry you already. If you want, I’ll go with you to look at rings as soon as they clear me after surgery.”

“I’d like that,” Alex grinned, leaning forward to ruffle Aaron’s hair. “You’re going places, kid.”

***

Two Weeks Later

“Did you hear Nurse Jen got engaged last weekend? She came back from skiing with a massive rock on her hand.”

“Really? That’s like the sixth one in the past two months,” Cristina’s voice was annoyed, Meredith chuckling at her. “I only know because they always make a big deal out of their gloves ripping on the flashy rings their spoiled rich boy fiancé’s buy them.”

Alex rolled his eyes as he shrugged out of his scrub top and grabbed his shirt from his locker. He was used to the pointless gossip the three girls swapped in the locker room, their voices and laughter always echoing out louder than anything else happening in the room.

“Maybe the next one won’t be a nurse but one of our very own residents,” Meredith chucked her scarf at Alex, making him toss the fabric back and stare down the three women with a disgruntled stare. “Don’t give me that look, I think it’s about time you manned up and popped the question to Jo! I mean it feels like just yesterday we were calling her Dracula and now she’s kicking ass and taking names.”

“She’s got a point, Evil Spawn, pretty soon she’s gonna get tired of your shit and realize she’s way too good for you,” Alex met Cristina with a glare, the dark haired woman winking at him in return. “Seriously though, why’re you dragging your feet?”

“Shut up,” Alex grunted, trying to push the conversation aside.

“C'mon, Alex, you guys have been together for a million years and you haven’t even thought about marrying her,” Izzie threw her hands up in exasperation as Cristina and Meredith nodded their heads in agreement. “I'd be getting impatient if I were her. Me and George weren’t even together when we got married. But we loved each other and that was enough. Especially since life is short and you never know how much time you have left.”

“If it’s the commitment you’re afraid of, that’s okay. We’re all messed up and have problems with that, but I have to agree with them, Alex. Time is ticking,” Meredith said, folding her clothes and putting them in the locker. “And if it’s the wedding you’re worried about, you can always borrow my post-it notes.” She chuckled, making the other girls join her in a laughing fit.

“Leave me alone, all three of you. I have thought about marrying her, I’m aware that she could do much better, and I’m not afraid of commitment or the wedding part. I actually want to have a giant wedding, for your information,” Alex scowled before allowing his face to soften a bit. “And I don’t owe you any explanation because this is none of your business, but…” he rummaged around his locker and pulled out a tiny box that made all the women gasp giddily. “I’ve had to keep it here for the past week because she’d find it in the loft, but I’m proposing. Tonight.” He smiled, sitting down and showing them the ring.

“Oh crap!” Cristina’s eyes widened. “You bought an actual diamond engagement ring.”

“No I’m proposing with a paper ring,” Alex deadpanned. “Of course I bought a ring.”

“Alex, this ring is beautiful,” Izzie fawned over it.

“Really? You think she’ll like it?” He looked at it one more time before turning his gaze to the trio standing right behind him.

“I think she’ll love it,” Meredith said.

“Good. All those options at the store made me anxious. I never thought I’d ever go ring shopping, so I’m still a bit insecure about my choice, but I hope you’re right. I hope she loves it,” Alex let out a nervous breath, closing the little box again and putting it back in the back of his locker.

“Dude, grow a pair,” Cristina teased him.

“Shut up,” Alex rolled his eyes, making them laugh as they made their way out of the room.

“Don’t worry, Evil Spawn. Dracula is gonna love it. You did a great job,” Cristina patted his back with a smile on her face as they parted ways.

What did you think of this chapter of the med school fic? Are you just as excited as we are? Let us know what you think in the comments!

40 notes · View notes

peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years

Text

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @saraben00 @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane

~^~

Monday, 14:12

Song: gnash - i hate you, i love you

Lucas tugs absentmindedly at a loose thread on his pillowcase as he waits for the boys. He’s been staring blankly at his laptop screen for a quarter hour already, the only tab open to Jens’s Instagram. Devoid of any new posts but with recent messages that Lucas still hasn’t responded to.

Maybe he’s overreacting, but he physically can’t do it. Not after hearing Jens explain that he’d ditched him for Jana. Without so much as a single warning.

It had taken Lucas over half an hour of waiting like a fool and sending Jens messages before he was able to admit to himself that he’d been stood up. He’d gotten Jens’s urgent apology when he was already halfway home, and at that stage, he’d struggled to care what the excuse was. He was tired of feeling stupid. He was angry.

He still is, but he also misses Jens already.

The tone of an incoming video call stops him from falling into that pit of self-pity, and he answers with probably a little too much enthusiasm. He doesn’t care, though, as Kes and Jayden pop into view on his screen, grinning just as ridiculously, cheering as soon as they can see Lucas. Lucas ducks closer to his screen and examines, noting that they seem to be in Jayden’s room and both have a little more scruff on their chins than when he’d last seen them. Weeks ago, he reminds himself. This is his first time seeing his best friends—the people he used to talk to everyday—in weeks.

“Hi,” he says, giddy, already grinning wider than he has in days.

“Hey,” Jayden leans in to examine him closer, blocking Kes and beaming. “I was hoping I could be like ‘you’ve changed’ but you haven’t even changed your hair, Lucas. It looks like you’ve been frozen in time since you left.”

Lucas snorts as Kes shoves him out of the way. “Shut up, Jayden. You look fucking great, Luc. I missed that pretty face.”

“Funny,” Lucas muses, “I haven’t thought about your’s once since I left.”

Kes squawks, and then he’s leaning forward to take up the frame, pointing a finger at Lucas threateningly. He then turns it towards himself and circles the air in front of his face. “You love this face. Don’t even try to lie to me.”

It is a lie, so Lucas doesn’t bother arguing any further. He’s missed them both more than he’s willing to express, for surety they’ll make fun of him in response. They do, however, still have their own ridiculous grins stuck on their faces, so maybe Lucas is judging them too harshly.

“Are you going to tell me what I’ve been missing then?”

Jayden scoffs. “You’re the only thing that’s missing, man. It’s boring as hell without you.”

Lucas shakes his head. “Come on, you’re seriously trying to tell me you haven’t gotten in any trouble the whole time I was away.”

“Well, no one said that.”

Kes rolls his eyes and offers Lucas a shrug. “There hasn’t been much, man. You’ve only been gone three weeks.”

“I’ve already been gone three whole weeks, you mean,” Lucas raises a brow, even though the realisation sinks in and scares him. He’s only been here a little over three weeks. He hadn’t known Jens for the first one, meaning it has hardly taken any time for Lucas to develop such a strong, ridiculous crush on him.

Really, can he even call it a crush? The word feels much too tame to describe the force of his feelings, sometimes.

He has to swallow down the sudden anxiety crawling up his throat as Kes says, “Surely you have more exciting things to talk to us about then.”

“Yeah,” Jayden urges. “You get to meet all the new people. Did you find any of the hot girls yet?”

Kes bumps his arm. “Luc doesn’t have to find the hot girls. They come to him. It’s weird as fuck, man.”

“Fuck you,” Lucas retorts, and it’s half-hearted. His chest feels tight, all of a sudden, and there’s a heaviness that sinks into his stomach and takes root. It’s a weight that had slowly began to drift away, as Lucas let himself drift and entertain the possibility of accepting that part of him. Of thinking that part could be known alongside all the rest without changing anything. He’s reminded now, with his best friends of years looking at him, that it’ll never be that easy. “There are plenty of girls that I’m sure you couldn’t get, yeah.”

The boys both ‘oh’ dramatically in response and Lucas rolls his eyes fondly, even as the ache in him does nothing to dissipate. His smile still feels tight, stretched thin, and he feels suddenly helpless. He’d been hoping that seeing them would put him at ease, would make him feel normal, would allow him to stop thinking about his dad, still at work, and his mother, still in Utrecht, and Jens, still being avoided.

He supposes he should have known better.

“You can at least tell us about this new fancy friend group of yours,” Kes says, casual and genuine, and Lucas wishes the simple request didn’t make him feel worse, but it does.

He forces a shrug. “They’re cool.”

“That’s it?” Jayden scoffs. “Come on, tell us who’s the pretty boy you’re always with, at least. We have to know something about our replacements, yeah?”

“They’re definitely not replacements,” Lucas assures. “No one could replace you. I wish I could just come back.”

The boys share a look, and when they turn back to him, they’ve softened. Lucas’s chest only grows tighter, the ache more thorough. He misses them now even more than he had that first week, when he’d been left feeling completely alone, even wishing for the presence of his dad on occasion just to have the company. It hurts twice as much to be reverted back to the stage when he’d had a taste of something different.

“We’d love that, too, Luc,” Kes promises, and Lucas misses him so much he could cry, and he almost does when he goes on to ask, “Are the pretty boys not even treating you right?”

Lucas shrugs, looking back down at that loose thread on his pillow, smoothing his hand over it this time to feel the bump under his fingers. “They’re cool. Some of them do remind me of you guys. Aaron’s kind of the funny one, I guess, and Moyo’s really cool and kind of freaked me out at first. But they’re nice. Then there’s Robbe, he’s the smaller one with the curly hair? He’s sweet. But his boyfriend, Sander, is really cool. He’s studying art.”

He watches them intently over the word ‘boyfriend’, but nothing in their expression changes other than their smiles widening fondly at the mention of art.

“You’ve already found your perfect clique, then,” Jayden teases. “So what part are you? Still the nice face?”

Lucas shakes his head and pulls the thread. “That’s Jens.”

“That’s right,” Kes drawls. “‘Jensrolt’, yeah? You mentioned him before too.”

Lucas nods. “He was the first one of them I met, so.”

“He seems pretty cool. He’s got the chill, Kes-like vibes,” Jayden muses, elbowing his friend, and it’s enough to finally drag another proper smile out of Lucas.

“He does kinda remind me of Kes, actually.”

“What, ‘cause he took pity on you or because he’s hot as fuck?” Kes raises his brows cheekily and Lucas resists the urge to answer honestly by simply saying ‘both’. Instead he focuses on his best friend calling his crush hot as fuck. Which is weird, but not wrong.

But really weird.

“Maybe because he’s full of himself,” Jayden raises his brows at Lucas, exaggeratedly, mocking, and he and Lucas both laugh as Kes tries to shove him off the bed. Lucas watches them wrestle and glances at his phone.

“I think he might be too pretty and too cool for me, actually,” Lucas mumbles.

Kes and Jayden both stop and look at him, and they’ve lost all previous hints of amusement. “What do you mean?” Jayden asks. “Is he being a dick?”

Lucas shrugs again. “I’m probably just overthinking. I was supposed to hang out with him yesterday and he couldn’t make it, that’s all.”

“He couldn’t make it as in he cancelled on you or he stood you up?” Kes prods.

“It wasn’t a date,” Lucas says, too snappish, too petulant. They can both see right through him. “But he stood me up,” he mumbles.

“Fuck that. Like it’s not hard enough to get used to new friends without them being assholes. Did he tell you why?” Jayden asks.

“He was meeting up with his ex-girlfriend.”

“Fuck that. How long were you waiting for him?”

“Like half an hour? Then I gave up and left. He text me to tell me he forgot because she’d asked him to meet up.”

Jayden scoffs as Kes frowns. “It seemed like you two were getting on well before, though. He’s been friendly enough so far, right?”

“Yeah, he’s been cool right from the start and I thought it was great. I’d found friends. And then he completely forgot I existed. And now I wanna come home to you guys.”

“He obviously didn’t completely forget about you,” Jayden attempts to comfort. “Maybe he had something else going on, too.”

“Yeah, Luc. And if he did then he sucks and you can get better friends than that. But you like them, right? The whole group. And you should trust your own judgment. You’re pissed right now but it probably is a genuine mistake and you probably know it.”

Lucas considers this for a moment and begrudgingly admits that he’s probably right. Kes beams and adds, “But for now, we can say fuck him. It’s us time. Did you talk to your dad about coming down another weekend?”

“Not yet,” Lucas says, sinking into the pillow behind him. “Right now I still have a curfew.”

Jayden snorts. Kes elbows him. “Is he there? We could try to talk him around.”

“No, he’s working. As usual.”

“Fuck that,” Jayden repeats. “Man, you’re lucky you have us. Jens is the last straw. If he fucks up, you tell us, and we’re coming over there to steal you back, okay?”

Lucas laughs, and reminds himself that he is lucky.

#van der stoffels #vds #wtfock #skam nl #sink or swim #vds season fic #sos clip

71 notes · View notes

degrassi-fanatic · 4 years

Text

Stay Awhile

As Prentiss steps out of her car, she can already see the clusters of families standing around in the parking lot. Not too far away from them, the children are already dressed in their soccer uniforms, warming up for their game on the field.

Ducking back down to her car, she reaches across the driver’s seat to the passenger side and retrieves two yellow paper bags dotted with white stars; one with a small tag that reads ‘Henry LaMontagne’ and the other ‘Jack Hotchner’. With a bag in each hand, Prentiss uses her foot to kick the door shut behind her.

Although she’s only been standing in the parking lot for a couple of seconds, she can already feel the sun beating down on her sensitive skin; never has she been more grateful for JJ’s constant nagging about sunscreen application. It feels like the hottest day of the summer and she’s sure by the time Reid arrives, he will have read dozen weather reports to back up her claim.

Prentiss maneuvers past numerous trophy wives and bored looking husbands to make her way over to the metal bleachers. As she looks over the tops of their heads, she tries to scan the rows to find any familiar faces.

“Emily!” she hears someone call out.

Near the top of the bleachers, Prentiss spots Will standing up from his seat as he waves to get her attention. She can’t help but notice that there isn’t anyone else up there with him.

Oh no.

It’s not that she hates Will. She doesn’t.

It’s just rather awkward to try and maintain a conversation with a person when you essentially stole their girlfriend from them.

In Will’s defense, he’s never outright called Prentiss a homewrecker. In fact, he’s always so kind and courteous to her; Will invites her and JJ over for dinner with him and Henry, he always asks about her wellbeing when he calls JJ for whatever reason, Will even had Henry bring her a gift for Christmas when he was staying with his mother for the week.

He may not have called Prentiss a homewrecker but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t believe it. It doesn’t mean that the thought isn’t somewhere in deep recesses of his mind.

Usually, Prentiss doesn’t have to stress over talking to Will but that’s only because they always have JJ or Henry there to act as a buffer between the two of them and stop a potential conflict from arising.

Now, however, JJ is nowhere in sight, Henry is out on the field, and Prentiss is a moment away from fleeing the scene.

The only reason she doesn’t is because she doesn’t need Will talking to JJ about how her girlfriend ran like a mad woman before their son’s soccer game.

Prentiss takes in a deep breath as she climbs the steps, making it to the top far quicker than she wanted to. Will motions for her to take a seat next to him with an easy smile. Once she’s sitting, Will bumps shoulders with her good naturedly.

“Hey,” she greets politely as she sets the gift bags down by her feet, “Where’s JJ?”

“JJ forgot to buy the brownies for the potluck after the game.” he answers with a little laugh, “And now she’s probably speeding down the roads to get here in time.”

His slight at JJ’s driving loosens up the knot in her chest but, not by much though.

“What about the others?” she asks, for the lack of anything better to add.

“Aaron and Spencer are getting the Gatorade from the car. Dave’s on the sidelines, helping the kids warm up,” Will informs as he points to a far away figure that Prentiss assumes is Rossi, “Penelope and Derek are running late because they woke up with hangovers from their alcohol binge last night.”

She lets out a chuckle at Garcia and Morgan’s predicament. Why on Earth they decided to go out to bars the night before a children’s soccer game, Prentiss will never know. She’s just glad that she decided to turn down their offer.

As Will picks up a water bottle from the ground, he glances over to the yellow gift bag near Prentiss’s feet.

“What’s that?” he asks curiously before unscrewing the cap of the bottle.

“Um, it’s, uh, it’s a gift,” she says, “For Jack and Henry.”

“That’s so sweet, Emily.” Will practically coos, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

Although Will flashes her what she would consider a sincere smile from anyone else, Prentiss cannot help but wonder if he’s having any of those thoughts about her being a homewrecker right now.

His hands reach for the tops of the gift bag labelled for Henry but before he touches it, he looks up at her.

“May I?” he asks, waiting for permission.

Prentiss nods.

As he pushes past the sheets of colourful tissue to get to the actual gift, Prentiss grows more anxious with every passing second. Her back goes ramrod straight. She begins to rock herself gingerly as she smooths her palms down her thighs.

She watches as Will pulls out the Lego set with gentle fingers.

There’s no real reason why Prentiss had bought it. She had been simply wandering through the mall when she spotted the set displayed in the window of some toy store. From the moment she casted her eyes on it, she felt some inexplicable pull to purchase it. For two weeks it had sat on the floor of her closet until Prentiss could find an excuse to give it to the boy she had in mind.

“My God, Emily.” he breathes out.

Her stomach drops. Her hands stop moving.

“Is it bad?” she questions urgently, “Because I can return it, if it—”

“No, no,” Will interrupts gently, “It’s just that Henry’s been raving about this exact Lego set for the past month.”

“He has?”

“I thought JJ would’ve told you.” he mumbles to himself as he stares at the box, “God, it’s perfect. He’s going to love it.”

He looks up from the gift to give her another one of his grins and a wave of guilt courses through Prentiss.

How could she have ruined this man’s family?

“I’m sorry, Will.” she blurts out.

“Pardon?” he asks as he places the box back into the gift bag.

“I’m sorry for everything,” she explains as she waves her hand between them, “For the whole thing between you, me, and JJ.”

As Will sets the bag back down on the ground, he shoots her a puzzled look. His brows furrowed together, while he’s deep in thought.

“You’re not seriously apologizing for dating your girlfriend, are you?” he asks.

“I, uh, I…” Prentiss stammers as she searches for the right words, “Yes?”

“Listen, Emily,” Will begins to speak as he turns to face her, their knees knocking, “I loved JJ, and I still love her, as the mother of my child. And I know she loves me too because I’m the father of her kid too. We parted on good terms.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about being with her.”

Will grabs her hand between the two of them and gives it a gentle squeeze.

Not for the first time, Prentiss can understand why JJ used to be in love with Will. He’s a good guy. He’s one of the best guys Prentiss knows.

“You don’t think I’m overstepping right now?” she asks, “I mean, I’m at your son’s soccer game.”

“Because he wants you here and so does JJ, and so do I.” he reminds her with another squeeze of her hand before letting it go.

“You do?”

“Course I do,” he reassures with a chuckle, “I have a feeling you’re going to be staying awhile.”

Although her face is no doubt red, she returns Will’s smile with a nod. She’s saved from having to respond by JJ’s sudden arrival. Her hands are full of store bought brownies and her car keys.. The strap of her purse is starting to slide off her shoulder. The only thing taming her hair is a pair of sunglasses perched at the top of her head.

“Hey guys,” she says a little breathless as she sits down beside Prentiss, “I’m not late, am I?”

Both Will and Prentiss shake their heads, their eyes bright with amusement at JJ’s disheveled state.

“They’re still warming up.” he informs her.

“Oh thank god.” JJ lets out as her shoulders finally sag with relief.

Without thinking too hard about it, Prentiss wrestles one of JJ’s hands free from the container of brownies, and does something she never used to do in front of Will; she plants a soft kiss on the back of it.

#criminal minds #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #william lamontagne jr #~fic~

29 notes · View notes

aaronhart93 · 4 years

Text

text || aarotin

Discord text thread featuring: Aaron & @quentindelancret

When: March 7, 2020 and March 8, 2020

Mentions: @cilliankelly @judetaylorhq @romanbeckett @jamisonhq

Description: Quentin and Aaron fight, they make up, then they argue again after Quentin tells him that he sexted someone else

Trigger Warnings: mentions of physical fighting and cheating, drug use

Quentin.

I’m sorry if I was hateful

Aaron.

please come back

or just...don’t leave

Quentin.

I already left

I’m just tired Aaron. It’s a constant battle for you

Aaron.

I mean. Don’t leave me. Us.

Quentin.

I don’t wanna leave you

I just don’t know how much more I can take

Aaron.

I will fix it. Cut them all off.

Quentin.

you know I don’t really want you to do that. I just wish they would stop

move the fuck on already

Aaron.

we can’t control other people baby. And we can let what people say affect us like this

Quentin.

it’s not that easy

Aaron.

no it’s not

you’re right

it’s hard but it’s easier if we get through it together

Quentin.

yeah

except it’s not together, it’s just me

I didn’t even do anything

I’m just so tired of feeling worthless

Aaron.

would I be fighting this hard for someone who is worthless?

Quentin.

I don’t know

I’m pretty worthless

Aaron.

that’s so far from true baby

you make my world go around

Quentin.

maybe we just need a break

Aaron.

we don’t

Quentin.

we don’t? You seem to defend Roman just fine

maybe we’re burnt out

Aaron.

we’re not

Quentin.

okay well. I’m gonna go see my brother and get fucked up. I’ll see you later

Aaron.

I love you, Quentin.

Quentin.

yeah?

Aaron.

so much

and if you wanna fight these guys, I have your back

Quentin.

I’m totally fighting them

Aaron.

then so am I

Quentin.

is Roman okay?

Aaron.

none of us are okay right now

Quentin

well great

Aaron.

we should stop fighting with them

it’s getting no where

Quentin.

apparently lmao

Aaron.

hey

I love you

what are you doing right now

Quentin

I’m just sitting in my car off my face lol. I love you too

Aaron.

LOL

okay just don’t drive

and if you decide to fight them I’m your first call yeah?

Quentin.

of course

Aaron.

okay baby

Quentin.

anyway

that was exciting lol

Aaron.

I mean. I could have lived without it but

Quentin.

yeah? I’m still ready to fight

even though I can hardly move

Aaron.

stoned? Lolll

Quentin.

molly

it’s been a while and I am gone

Aaron.

explains why you’re so horny then

Quentin.

oops

Aaron.

I can take care of that for you

Quentin.

oh yeah? Are you trying to weasel me back into your penthouse monsieur Hart?

Aaron.

so what if I am?

Quentin.

Jesus, you’re too hot you know that?

Aaron.

come over and I’ll show you just how hot I can get

Quentin.

oh yeah? Is that a promise? I thought I shouldn’t come over if I’m fucked up

Aaron.

I’d rather you here actually. I shouldn’t have said that

Quentin.

Roman is gonna come get me and bring me

okay?

Aaron.

yes. Okay

I love you

Quentin.

I love you too. Even when you piss me off I always love you

Aaron.

yeah I always love you when you piss me off too.

Quentin.

hey, you pissed me off first lol

seriously though. I wanna marry you

Aaron.

I wanna marry you too

Quentin.

yeah?

Aaron.

yes

Quentin.

you better mean that because I’m gonna destroy you when I get there

Aaron.

I can’t wait for you to absolutely destroy me

Quentin.

I’m serious Aaron. I might be rolling my ass off but I want you. All of you, raw.

Aaron.

I’ll fill you up baby

the next morning...

Aaron.

hey so. Should we talk

Quentin.

about what baby?

Aaron.

last night

Quentin.

okay sure we can talk

Aaron.

okay

what can I do

to make this better

Quentin.

nothing, everything is fine. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to make a mess

Aaron.

but has their been something that has been bothering you for a while? Like Cody

Quentin.

it doesn’t matter. He’s your ex, and your friend. It’s fine really it’s not your fault

Aaron.

okay. I understand. But I can talk to him and tell him to lay off if you want

Quentin.

Aaron I’m sorry about last night

Aaron.

okay

unsent I’m just so worried it’s going to happen again

it’s okay baby

Quentin.

I talked to Jamison

he texted me

for some reason be thought I was gonna meet him last night? Idk. I never should have done molly again. It’s been since... a while

I’m sorry

Aaron.

you were gonna meet him...? What do you mean

Quentin.

I don’t know that’s what he told me

but I did fucked up with someone else

I’m so sorry

Aaron.

wait what

Quentin.

I messed around with someone else. Sorta

Aaron.

when

Quentin.

last night. After you and Roman went to sleep

Aaron.

you slept in bed with us and left to go hook up with someone else

then what’s it like Quentin

Quentin.

I was just texting them. I left because I was sick and I didn’t want you guys or Des to see me like that

Aaron.

and then you went a fucked them

*and

Quentin.

no I didn’t fuck them

Aaron.

you’re going to need to be more specific, Quentin.

Quentin.

we just messed around over text that’s all

it wasn’t serious

Aaron.

who

Quentin.

Troye

i didn’t mean to

Aaron.

Troye Sivan

Quentin.

yeah. Please don’t hate me

he’s been texting me about flirting and last night I was just so fucked up. I didn’t mean to

Aaron, please. I’m sorry

Aaron... I love YOU

Aaron.

your two beautiful boyfriends were sleeping next to you

Quentin.

I know. I feel so stupid and I didn’t mean to do it Aaron I swear. It’s just, I was so fucked up and it’s not an excuse but he just kept talking dirty to me. I don’t want him I want you and I want Roman

Aaron.

how am I supposed to believe you

you are so fucked in the head, Quentin.

tell Roman.

in the group. Now.

Quentin.

I texted him that we needed to talk but he didn’t reply

Aaron.

he’s going to be crushed

and YOU crushed him

Quentin.

I know, I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry

Please don’t hate me. I’ll do anything to fix this

Aaron.

I don’t know what to say to you, Q

Quentin.

please don’t leave me

Aaron

I don’t know Q

Quentin.

it wasn’t like you think I swear

Aaron.

so what was it

Quentin.

he was sexting me. I was just fucked up and going along with it but it’s like.. it’s Troye. I didn’t think it was serious

I didn’t like.. I didn’t get off to it. Honestly I mostly laughed but I swear there isn’t anything funny about it

Aaron.

why though

Quentin.

idk, he just started texting me

Aaron.

I have his number too ya know

Quentin.

he knows I’m with you. I don’t know Aaron. I wish I could take it back

what are you going to do?

Aaron.

I don’t know

Quentin.

Aaron I don’t want him i swear

I love you

Please tell me how I can fix this. I didn’t mean it

Aaron.

read

Quentin.

Aaron please. I need you

I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.

Aaron, last night I told you I wanted to marry you. I meant that with my whole heart. Troye is a stupid crush and i never would have done that sober. I’m not a cheater and I don’t want that to ever happen again. I’m sorry, I’ll get help. Okay?

Aaron.

you’ll get help?

Quentin.

yeah, I will. I don’t want to lose you and I’ll do anything to make this right

Aaron.

you’ll go to counseling and take medicine?

Quentin.

I’ll do it

Aaron.

I have to think

Quentin.

you have to know I don’t really want him. It was a stupid crush and I was just being so fucking stupid. I just wish I could take it back. I can’t live without you

Aaron.

let me think

Quentin.

okay.

#discord #quentin #text #text: quentin

3 notes · View notes

yarart4ever · 4 years

Text

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HAMILTON ARRIVED ON DISNEY+ A FEW DAYS AGO WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!?????

as you couldn't tell, I am IN LOVE with Hamilton! the musical got me into discovering the musical fandom! sure I was in love with Hairspray and musicals in general but Hamilton was my first actual music obsession!

this is the LIVE SHOW! just recorded professionally! and Imma do my usual review on it! :3

-lol king george's intro at the beginning! XD

-WHO ELSE BOPPED AND GOT EXCITED DURING THE FIRST SONG IN ACT I: ALEXANDER HAMILTON!?

-I like how the crowd is so respectful to the performers and only laughs and claps when necessary!

-the dance choreography! *chefs kiss* perfecto!

-YO! the actors for John Laurens/Philip, Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson and Hercules Mulligan/ Maddison ARE. FINE! they. are. DADDIES! PERIODT!

-okay but like... the actresses for Angelica and Peggy are also pretty fine! like.. UwU WIFEYS!

-Angelica~, (work, work) Eliza~ and PEGGY! the schuyler sisters~! sorry I had to! TvT

-ANGELICA. IS. A QUEEN! PERIODTTTT!!

-lol everything that comes out of King george's mouth is gold! XD

-RIGHT HAND MAN IS A BOP OH MY GOD! (O///o///O)

-aw, Helpless is so wholesome I love it! <3

-okAY BUT SATISFIED IS MY FAVORITE SONG AND IT'S WHAT GOT ME INTO THE HAMILTON FANDOM! I KNOW THE SONG WORD FOR WORD ISTG-

-lmao who else died at raise a glass reprise cuz... XD it got me!

-WAIT FOR IT IS MY SECOND FAVORITE SONG!! (>///o///<) but like show me mother theodosia pls! T^T

-"I'm a general! WEEEE" Charles Lee~ best quote by far!

- the way! John Laurens! looks at Alexander! jesus why does he have to be so attractive!?

-damn Alexander got daddy issues! O_O

-that would be enough almost made me cry what??

-EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S VERY HOT FIGHTING FRENCHMAN!... wait that's not the lyrics..

-damn! dying is easy, but living is harder... that hit different! :'(

-THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!! HOLY THAT SONG SLAPSSSS!!

-oml Hercules Mulligan's solo (O///_///O) and he sticks his tongue out too! he's a aggressive top hottie and I am living for it!!!

- what comes next was totally foreshadowing for when Trump becomes president. like, "when your people say they hate you, don't come crawling back to me"! like yo! foreshadowing or what??

-aw dear theodosia! my third favorite song! you know, ever since I heard this I wanted to name my child theodosia so that I could sing her this song as a lullaby.

-NO!!! JOHN LAURENS MY HUSBAND!!! T^T </3 I knew he was gonna die anyway cause I've listened to the sundtrack many times but still! and Alexander was so happy singing about his son and then he hears about John's death I'm- :'( I almost cried again during that song... you can probably tell that I love John Laurens..

-NON STOP THO!! LIKE WHAT!?! THIS SONG WAS AWESOME IN THE SOUNDTRACK AND IT'S MORE AWESOME NOW THAT I'M SEEING IT AND SINGING ALONG!! (>///O///<)

~~intermission~~

-okay okay, act II! I'm ready!! give. me. that. tea!

-THOMAS JEFFERSON! HOLY SH!T HE'S HOT!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!

-OH! AND HE DOES THE KISS!! excuse me while I faint of fangirling...

-aw, poor Maddison is sick. lol corona?? I'm telling y'all they knew what was gonna happen in 2020! like even John wanted to help end black slavery and then there was that george floyd situation now and just... foreshadowing all over! :T

-HOLY CRAP YO THERE'S AN ACTUAL RAP BATTLE!! XD WHAAAATT??? like Jefferson and Hamilton got them mics, they be all up in each other's face roasting each other like bro!

-"turn around, bend over I'll show you where my shoe fits!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! GET ROASTED JEFFERSON BAM WHAT??

- lmao why the fnck do they have an grown a$$ man playing a 9 year old?? XD

-okay, I love the sister dynamic for Angelica and Eliza! they're so cute! and I like how no one questions that even though their races are different they're still related. and it bothers me that people nitpick about that. like leave them alone, they are sisters! periodt!

-oh no it's say no to this... I hate this song... I can't believe Hamilton had an affair with someone he doesn't even know! who cares if she's hot?? you're MARRIED!

-and wait... ain't that the actress who played Peggy in the last act?? sheesh no wonder she's so attractive!

-look at this dude saying "lord show me how to say no to this, I don't know how to say no to this"! LIKE BOI! just say no! tf?? it doesn't matter if she's a fncking model! if I was married to a kind hearted, gentle and just generally an amazing person Like Eliza, and a woman pulled me in their bed and said "stay~" I would've been like "HAHA nope! peace out my guy, I'm already taken thank you very much and they do it to me better than you ever did! periodt!" and I would leave. it's that easy!

-"and her bodies screaming hell yes" BOI IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR D!CK IN YOUR PANTS AND GO HOME ALEXANDER I SWEAR TO FnCKING ALLAH......

-and he fncked up... that's it... I'm done!! Deuses! *gives peace sign and leaves*

-no one else was in the room? okay we getting hype now! XP

-damn Aaron Burr is a great dancer! XD

-oh sh!t oh sh!t there's another rap battle! same people too... everyone take cover! seriously this is not a drill!

-damn! okay did not hear this yet?? uhm so.... Hamilton snapped. and not the good type of snapped too... the moment he was given a opportunity to speak he literally shouted "YOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND!" and when I tell you I shook....

-"daddy's callin'.." oKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW WRONG DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU??

-lol when Burr came on stage and started singing, Jefferson was so confused he was like "bruh the hell did you come from??" and I died! XD

-oh sh!t Burr and Jefferson are joining forces- LOOK OUT EVERYONE AS THEY BRING THE THUNDER!

-YO THE RAPPING IN THIS SONG IS LIKE WOWZAH! LIKE BARS BRO! :D LIKE FnCKING M&M IS QUAKING!

-"sir, I don't know what you heard but WHATEVER IT IS.... Jefferson started it.." LMFAO ALEX I SWEAR TO GOD XD

-one last time oh no I'm scared this song is gonna make me cry isn't it??

-YEP I WAS RIGHT! I'M CRYING NOW! GREAT!

-George Washington's voice is so powerful oh my lord... and oop! he's crying too! also great! :'D

-my hEART T^T-

-King George Istg STOP! XD

-also yay, I like how they used a woman for the guard/right hand man to the king! as a feminist... I approve UwU

-who else flinched when the king started laughing........ because I did....

-"sit down John you FAT MOTHER FnCKER!" oop... was not expecting that!

-NO ALEX DON'T TELL THEM THEY'RE JOINING FORCES YOU'RE DEAD IF YOU TELL THEM THAT- aaaaaaaand you told them... smart.. real smart -_-

-okay but Thomas' reaction was even more funny on screen then in the sound track X'D

-welp... now Burr's gonna tell everybody.. oh wait no.. ALONG with Jefferson and Maddison... good job, Alexander..

-holy sh!t the reynolds pamphlet! he actually wrote it down?? I mean I knew this happened but STILL! WHAT THE FnCK, HAMILTON?!?

-Jefferson is getting to hype for this I swear XD

-OH CRAP ANGELICA IS HERE!

-"all the way from London? DAYUM!" that's me!

-damn, work it, King George! XP

-YEAH DAMN RIGHT HIS POOR WIFE ELIZA DIDN'T DESERVE THIS! >:(

-aw man, Burn hit's different! especially when you catch your ex cheating on you. if that ever happens, LISTEN TO THIS SONG! trust me!

-I feel so bad for her.. :(

-Philip saying "the scholars say I got the same virtuosity and brains as my pops, the ladies say that's not where the resemblance stops~" MADE ME DIE! LIKE ON THE SPOT! NO JOKE!

-the ladies are getting hype for Philip and honestly I CAN SEE WHY! HE'S A DADDY! DUNNO! UwU

-OOF! BEEF!

-he got shot AGAIN!?!

-he dies AGAIN!?!

-WHY DOES THIS HANDSOME BOI KEEP DYING?? LET HIM LIVE BRO!! T^T

-poor Eliza...

-oh god please no not it's quiet uptown! Imma cry again!

-oop... and now I'm crying again... ain't that fun! :'D

-the way they held hands at the end! T^T be still my heart!

-DAYUM! Hamilton chose JEFFERSON over Burr! oof, that's gotta sting!

-"you know what we can change that, you know why?" me: why? "because I'm the president.." me: *blushes and sweats*.... uh.. ahem... welp, that's enough convincing for me you got it sir! I am so sorry... TvT

-oh no they about to duel! oh sh!t oh sh!t! I'm scared!

-lol A. Ham! XD I'm sorry I just find that so funny! HAM! AHA do I look like a Christmas meal to you?? lmao

-he's... HE'S AIMING HIS PISTOL AT THE SKY! BURR HOLD UP DON'T SHOOT DON'T-

-... he shot Hamilton...

-seriously Burr??

-Eliza has been through many heartbreaks right now..

-oh this is my 5th favorite song. who lives who dies, who tells your story... I'm gonna cry again, aren't I?

-yep! definitely just cried! that song always hits home for me..

I love this musical so much! no words can describe how much it means to me. so I suggest you listen to the soundtrack yourself, if you haven't and tell me how you feel about it. c:

#I feel a rollercoaster of emotions #i criiii #who lives who dies who tells your story #hamilton #hamilton the musical #they added hamilton to disney+#we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes #alexander hamilton #the schuyler sisters #i'm in love with musicals #musical #musical fangirl #extreme fangirling #who else thinks that Thomas Jefferson is hot??#who else thinks John Laurens is hot??#who else thinks Hercules Mulligan is hot??#the revoltuion #dear theodosia #musical fandom

3 notes · View notes

haveanotherkpopblog · 5 years

Text

The Greatest Prank

Inspired by @noona-clock‘s “Day6 in Hogwarts Houses”

Pairing: Kang Younghyun x You

Genre: AU

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: None

Masterlist

“الأسد لا يستدير عندما ينبح كلب صغير” An African proverb that translates to, “The lion does not turn around when a small dog barks.” And as pettiness goes, feuds are one of the pettiest things thought up by humans. Whether we look at the Hatfields and McCoys, Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, or Elizabeth I, Queen of England and Mary, Queen of Scots. Feuds are ridiculous and a waste of precious time.

Now, it’s no secret that Slytherins and Gryffindors have had a feud for Merlin knows how long, over Merlin knows what. Whatever the issue was, it’s long since been forgotten, but the feud continues on. As it has for the last few centuries, spreading unwanted and unwarranted hate everywhere.

Of course, there are those who don’t let such trivial things dictate their lives. They’re the people who move forward and strive towards what they want in the world. Those who don’t have the time nor the patience to dabble in such nonsense. Dickery is only good, never.

You were one of those people. Stature wasn’t something you dwelled on: rich, poor, muggleborn, pureblood, Gryffindor, Slytherin; none of that mattered to you. What mattered was how useful they could be to you. If they wanted to help you achieve your goals, great; if they didn’t, they’d best stay out of your way. All you could afford to focus on in this world was yourself. That was the sad, cold, hard truth.

And right now, you were in need of a certain Gryffindor’s help. Which Gryffindor to be exact? That would be one of Gryffindor’s legendary pranksters, Kang Younghyun. There wasn’t anyone he wouldn’t prank, it didn’t matter what they’d done. He was, as he liked to say, always down for a good prank. Who did you want pranked?

A certain Ravenclaw, Mark Tuan to be exact, had decided to hex your homework, making it throw insults left and right at Professor Sprout. She didn’t appreciate it and decided detention was the best course of action. You’d never done anything to Mark, so now you were on a mission to exact revenge. You could have asked one of your fellow Slytherins for help, but they could take things to an unnecessary extreme. And your house didn’t need anymore bad rep.

That was how you ended up waiting outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, waiting for the class to let out. You watched closely as the students filed out, all of them idly chatting away. Once you caught sight of Younghyun, you grabbed his robes and swung him away from the mass of students. He let out a yelp, slightly dazed. He stood in front of you, blinking rapidly.

When he saw you, or more like he saw your robes, he frowned. “What do you want?” he asked, crossing his arms. You rolled your eyes, you did not have time for this stupid “all Slytherins are bad” crap. You had a goal, and a limited time frame.

“One, if you ever refer to me like that again, I’ll rip your throat out and use your blood as low-cost hair dye. Two, I need your help,” you told him. You heard a chortle off from the side. Jaehyung and Dowoon were watching from the other side of the hallway. Bloody tossers. Younghyun quirked a brow, unamused. “I need your expertise in the field of pranking.” He chuckled.

“And why should I help you?” he inquired. You bit back a smirk. Playing hard to get, a classic, but there was a good reason you were in Slytherin. You knew how to get your way. You sighed.

“You’re right, you probably couldn’t help me,” you said shaking your head. “Jae is the better prankster.” You glanced over at Jae, shooting him a wink. “Well, thanks anyway. Ta-ta.” You waggled your fingers and turned on your heel.

You hadn’t taken two steps when he gripped your wrist and pulled you back to him. Your body was flush against his as he glared down at you. You stared up at him through your lashes, an unamused expression on your face. You swallowed thickly at his unwavering glare. You raised your eyebrows.

“I’ll help you.” You smirked.

“I had a feeling you’d see things my way,” you said. You glanced over at Jae and Dowoon, both of whom were staring at you with interest. “Meet me in the library. I don’t need your boyfriends bugging us, and if they do, I’ll hex them.” He let your wrist go, half smirking.

“Lead the way princess.”

“So, out of curiosity, who are we pranking?” he asked as you looked over the scroll of pranks he’d given you.

“Mark Tuan,” you replied.

“Mark Tuan? He’s a cool dude, what’d he do to get on your bad side? Did he look in your general direction?” he snickered. You ignored him, rolling your eyes. “I’m only teasing. But really, what’d he do? Did he stand up to you, or did he do better than you in charms?”

“Are you always such a condescending arse, or am I just special?” you spat. Merlin if he wasn’t so bloody cute, you’d slap him silly.

“Don’t all Slytherins think they’re special?” he shot back. You rolled your eyes, ignoring him again. “So, like what you see? Those are some of our best.” You threw the scroll back at him, unimpressed by the listed pranks.

“Pathetic.” He scoffed, leaning back in his chair.

“Excuse me, Princess. You asked for my help, and now you’re calling me pathetic.”

“Not you, you’re ‘pranks’,” you corrected.

“My mistake. The point is, you asked for my help. I gave it. What exactly do you want?” he inquired.

“How much do you know about muggle schools, Younghyun?”

“Young K.”

“Pardon?”

“My name is Young K.” You rolled your eyes. Why, in Merlin’s name, did all the hot guys have to be such snobbish, self-depicting plonkers?

“Alright, Young K, how much do you know about muggle schools?” you repeated. He shrugged. “Well, muggle schools have a weird tradition you’d like. Thirteenth years, or seniors as they’re called in America, have an end of the year prank. It’s different every year and not all of them are good, but there have been some bloody brilliant ones.”

“Oh really? Do share these ‘bloody brilliant’ pranks you know so much about,” he said sarcastically. While his words held venom, you could see the interest in his eyes. He was leaning forward slightly, eyes trained on you.

“Well, there’s one in particular I’ll share, since you asked so nicely,” you bit. “The American seniors of one school, had decided to grease up three pigs and let them loose in the school. But, before they did, they painted three numbers on them: one, two, and four.” Young K was staring at you with a huge grin. You had to bite back a grin as he stared at you in awe. He glanced down at your robes, and his smile dropped. He cleared his throat, looking away. You scratched the back of your neck, looking down at your lap.

“Yeah, well--um, what’s your point?” he asked, trying to make his voice sound indifferent.

“The point is, I need something great like that,” you replied. You eyes turned cold as you stared at Young K. “I want him to be humiliated.”

“Not gonna lie, that was kinda hot,” he told you truthfully. You blinked. “That’s one. Two, isn’t that a bit extreme? What could he have done to deserve your wrath?”

“That, Young K, isn’t your concern. I was told you had no problem pranking anyone about anything. Why is it suddenly a problem? Why am I any different from any of your other customers?”

“Because you Slytherins have a tendency of going overboard.” You scoffed.

“Are you serious? ‘You Slytherins’? Merlin, you’re a twat.”

“Did you seriously just call me a twat?”

“Doesn’t matter. The point is you’re supposed to be helping me. No questions asked. Mark’s getting what’s coming towards him,” you said. You pulled out a roll of parchment, scribbling away ideas and calculations. “I’ve reached a conclusion.”

“And what would that be princess? What has your almighty, Slytherin highness, concluded?”

“You are such an arse. Quit judging me on my house. Do you know what it takes to be a Slytherin?” you asked fuming.

“Hm, is it hating and discriminating against anyone who isn’t pureblood? Is it to be evil and bent on world domination? Or perhaps it’s to bully everyone you see because they’re worthless peasants compared to you?” His insults hurt. Everyone liked to think Gryffindors were these righteous heroes, but they could be the biggest jerks there were. You turned your head, refusing to let him see the tears in your eyes. You blinked them back angrily.

“No,” you replied simply, turning your head back towards him. “Being a Slytherin means you know what you want, and you fight for it. I want justice for one of the many wrongs I’ve endured. I want to learn, so I study. I want to succeed, so I do my work. I want to be accepted, so I ignore ignorant, toxic, house stereotypes. You think I’m harsh? What do your statements say about you?”

He opened his mouth to argue, but the look on your face made him stop. He thought about what you said. He went quiet, staring at the table. The only movement you saw was the occasional flicker of his eyes. You were slightly worried you’d broke him when he spoke up again.

“You’re right.”

“Huh?”

“You’re right,” he repeated. He sighed, glancing at you sideways. “You haven’t given me any reason to be cruel to you, but, because of your house, I was rude and disrespectful. You just wanted my help, and I was completely out of line. I’m sorry.” You stared at him, completely amazed. You nodded your head, mouth slightly hanging open. You guessed chivalry wasn’t dead. “What did Mark do?” You glanced down at your hands.

“He enchanted my homework to spew insults, thus I have detention for a month,” you replied, clicking your tongue. “And before you ask why, I don’t know. I guess it’s just my house. I tried being better than my stereotype, but look at me. I’ve turned into the monster I fought so hard to avoid becoming.” You shook your head, leaning back into the chair.

“I’m so sorry about what Mark did, but I’m kind of glad he did it,” Young K told you. You quirked a brow. “Only because I got to know you.” You laughed. He joined you.

“Now that that chick flick moment has passed, let’s discuss business,” you said smiling. Young K nodded.

“Instead of humiliating him, let’s make him regret messing with you.” You tilted your head, intrigued. He held up a scroll of parchment.

“A prank?”

“Not just any prank, the greatest prank in the history of pranks,” he told you. You chuckled, shaking your head. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” He shot you a wink, pulling out a quill.

You both hunched over the table and began planning probably one of the greatest pranks ever. It was nice having someone on your side for once, and when his hand brushed across yours, butterflies erupted in your stomach. You ignored them though. That was a situation for another day.

#haveanotherkpopblog post #day6 #day6 au #day6 hogwarts au #day6 young k #day6 younghyun #day6 kang younghyun #day6 fics #young k #younghyun #young k au #young k fics #younghyun fics #younghyun au

37 notes · View notes

bubblieywubbliey · 5 years

Text

Evan x Fem!Reader (SMUT) - Practice

The reader is Evan’s best friend and grew up with Zoe and Connor as she lives next door to him. Evan is crushing hard on Zoe and you’re struggling with your crush liking the girl you dated (You used to date Zoe and Evan doesn't know, you guys are still friends). The reader isn’t a virgin (You dated Connor as well as Zoe, both of whom you'd had sex with during the course of the relationship.) so she offers to teach him how to kiss and things… escalate. You are also still insecure about your body and have self-harm scars on your thighs. There is a lot of fluff/story setup at the beginning, so I’ll mark where that stops and smut begins!

I wrote this for me personally originally so it’s very specific to me... Feel free to make requests for anything you’d like! I’m really into DEH at the moment so any ship you like, I’m down to write! I’ll write LGBT fics, any smut with kinks, whatever you fancy! There will be a sequel continuing this!

Warning: References to Self Harm, Smut, Swearing

You turn to look at your best friend Evan Hansen. He was rambling to you, Jared and Connor while you ate lunch, about what his therapist told him about managing his anxiety.

“And she said d-don’t worry about your hands getting sweaty, or they’ll be sweaty and even when you try to dry them it will get worse and the way to d-distract yourself is to imagine everyone naked, but then I get really u-uncomfortable because I think everyone’s naked and then I tried it when I was talking to Zoe and I got a b-b-bon- you know a-”

“Evan!” You interrupt him as he starts to spiral out of control. He inhaled and turned to face you.

“Y-yeah?” He flashed a nervous smile at you and you reached out to touch the top of his hand, he jumped but let it stay there. You looked him in the eyes and smiled softly.

“Calm down, okay? I’m sure she didn’t notice, you left straight away right?” You patted his arm before letting go and retracting it, still smiling.

“Y-yes! I, um well I actually r-ran away.” He corrected you, blushing. “She’s just so… so…” You flinched internally as he was lost for words to describe her, how perfect she was. It hurt, you knew it shouldn’t but it did. “I know she says we’re friends but I don’t really know how to talk to her without you guys there and she’s so beautiful…”

“Dude, that’s my sister you’re talking about getting a boner for!” Connor seemed to register what was being discussed and thumped the table. “Seriously dude just ask her out already so I can stop wanting to punch you!” Conner huffed and sunk down in his chair a little more and sulked.

“S-sorry!” Evan stuttered and blushed even more than before. You punched Connor in the arm.

“Listen, Evan, if you really want to ask Zoe out I could come over tonight and give you some pointers?’ You still cringed at the idea of Evan - YOUR Evan asking your other best friend AND ex-girlfriend out. “I could tell you the kind of stuff she likes?”

“R-Really? That would be great Y/N!” the bell rang, Evan grinned and jumped up from his seat, kissing you hurriedly on the cheek and running away excitedly. You froze in your seat as his lips touched your cheek and felt a stirring in the depths of your stomach. At this moment you were truly grateful you weren’t a guy or there may have been some issues downstairs.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Jared poked you gently in the shoulder to check. “The bell went, we need to go..” you jumped at the contact.

“Yeah.” You sighed and got up and the three of you started walking to your next class.

“You struggling with Evan liking Zoe?” Connor asked, seemingly gentle and understanding for an unprecedented moment.

“W-what? No! I-I could care less about who Evan likes! I don’t care at all, not a bit!” You stuttered and tripped through the sentence, startled by Connor’s perceptive question.

“ I think the lady doth protest too much!” Jared quipped as you threw a nasty glare in his direction as he began to laugh. “Wow, Evan huh? Didn’t see that coming! He’s such a dork, the guy can’t even string a proper sentence together!”

“Jared! Leave me alone! This is bullying!” You shoved him gently and he pushed you back.

“I’m just sayin’ you’re hot! You could have picked pretty much any guy in the school! But you picked the socially awkward guy who has an unachievable crush on his best friend’s ex-girlfriend?”

“Sshh! He’s doesn’t know we dated! And I-I didn’t choose it! I haven’t! I don’t like Evan that way! I’m not even hot, I don’t know what you mean by that.” You struggled to lie to Jared since you knew him so well.

“Sure, Y/N. Sure. That’s why you and Connor used to fuck every night.” Jared chuckled while Connor sniggered behind the pair of you.

“Shut up! I do not have a crush on Evan Hansen!” You yelled, getting strange looks from passers-by. “Dumbasses.”

You arrived at Evan’s house, nervous about what you had planned to say to Evan. You knocked on the door gingerly and watched as Evan’s face appeared behind the now open door.

“Hey! T-thanks for this again. You r-really didn’t have to.” Evan smiled and opened the door, hugging you lightly before allowing you into the house.

“No problem! Anything for you, Evan.” You smiled, sitting down on the couch. “So, how can I help? I could tell you about the kind of romantic moves have worked on her in the past? She dated Aaron Jones last year and he only ever wanted to make out and fuck so she broke up with him so I would do something sensitive that doesn’t have any expectations tied to it?”

“M-make out? I’ve, um I-I-” He stuttered again, you could see him starting to panic.

“Whoa, okay don’t worry about that yet! I was thinking of something slightly subtle. Maybe a double date in the park, there’s less pressure for it to be a date-date?” You suggested gently as Evan began to calm down.

“Y-yeah. That could work, I’ll ask her tomorrow. Could you come? As my double date, uh bring whoever you like? B-but not Aaron James!” His eyes widened at the idea.

“I, um I don’t think that’s a good idea Ev, ask Jared or Connor? I have a lot of work to get done over the next couple of weeks..” You excused yourself and Evan’s face fell.

“I understand, o-of course I’ll ask Jared.”

”Y/N! I did it! I asked Zoe out! She said yes! I’m going with Jared and his mystery boyfriend? Do you know who it is?” You looked up at Evan and smiled.

“Great Evan! I’m so glad you were able to do that... Not sure who his boyfriend is!” You shrugged and Evan smiled back before looking anxious again, you touched his arm and you knew he was still worrying about Aaron James and his adventurous tongue. “Hey, don’t spiral again…”

“I-I haven’t kissed a-anyone b-before! What if I’m b-bad at it? This is a bad idea maybe I should just leave Zoe she’s probably happy being just friends and I’m gonna ruin it and I don't know how kissing works and what if I bite her and then she hates me forever? What then? I just really wish someone could just t-teach me how! How do people know? Oh, w-wait I wasn’t asking YOU to teach me, that would be weird, right? That would be weird, right?” Evan’s breathing continued to get heavier and heavier. You knew he was very much asking now.

“Ev, I’d be happy to teach you, if you really want me to… Then you’d know what to do after the date. She usually kisses after the first date so you’ll be prepared?”

“O-oh I mean t-“ He stuttered in surprise.

“It’s fine! You don’t have to!” You backtracked.

“N-n-no! I would, I’d appreciate that. That would be really helpful. Really, um, really great..” He trailed off, you looked away and so did he.

“Okay then… Is your house okay?”

“Y-Yeah, my mom’s at college tonight.”

“Cool..”

“Cool…” You looked awkwardly at each other.

“It won’t even be like your first kiss because it’s not with someone you’re attracted to! So it’s just practice for the real one.”

“Y-Yeah! Not to say that you a-aren’t attractive you are! And funny and kind! I don’t want you to think that I think you’re ugly or something because… I definitely… D-don’t think that.” He finished awkwardly and you laughed softly and picked up your tray.

“I’ll be over at about 6.” Was your parting message before dropping your tray off and heading to jazz band.

When you arrived at jazz band you spoke sat next to Zoe as she practised on her guitar.

“Hey, Zo! I, I heard you and Evan are going on a date tomorrow..?” Zoe paused and looked up at you.

“Yeah! He finally asked me out, in all honesty, I don’t really think of him that was but he’s my friend and I want to give him a chance, you know? Maybe I can least give him his first kiss! There’s no other girl in the school who he’ll ever build up the courage to kiss, he’ll be waiting until college otherwise!” She smiled at you and your heart ached for Evan. Maybe it was weird, giving him pointers on a girl who was very clearly not interested in him, but you wanted to be closer to him, to be supportive of him. He was sweet and kind and handsome, the likelihood was high that Zoe would grow to care about him in a romantic way. Smiling at Zoe you nodded, wishing her luck on the date.

You brushed your teeth as soon as you got home from band practice after school. Eating a mint and picking out your nicest bra (who knows how far the kissing would go? Maybe you could teach him some other things too…) you put on a skirt with a skirt tucked in, before changing your mind and putting on jeans and a t-shirt, then finally picking a skirt with fishnet tights underneath along with a shirt and jumper. Sighing at the exhausting decision-making process, you headed to Evan’s house.

You arrived at 6 pm on the dot and knocked. He opened the door and hugged you in his awkward way and let you in. You sat down on the sofa in his living room and patted the spot next to you. The smell of aftershave was a little overwhelming and you chuckled to yourself as you noticed an empty packet of mints on the coffee table.

“Come on, I won’t bite.” You beckoned him to sit again and he shuffled over to you, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He sat gingerly on the edge of the seat and looked at you.

“Okay, this is going to be fine okay? If you want we can watch TV for a bit so you can get comfortable again?”

“T-That would be great!” Evan’s shoulders dropped a little as he realised he wouldn’t have to kiss you just yet. You weren’t sure if it was disappointment or relief.

“Feel like watching Heathers? I found a bootleg online! I know how you feel about those but we did pay to go and watch it twice…”

“U-Um sure,” Evan replied smiling. You switched the TV to show YouTube and entered brought up the video.

30 minutes into the show you decided the anticipation had gone on for far too long and he seemed relaxed enough. “Evan I’m going to kiss you now.” You warned him and his eyes went completely wide. You leaned across and put your hand on the side of his face and pressed your lips to his. He was completely still during the kiss and placed an apprehensive hand on your waist before pulling away.

“Wow… Um, t-thanks! I didn’t know kissing was that… that nice. I, um I-I, wow.” He blinked heavily and turned back to the musical and you sighed before replying and placing your feet on his lap to continue watching.

“Yeah… Just, try to be a little more comfortable? Don’t just accept the kiss, be involved in it! Why don’t we take a little break, huh?” You finished your sentence as he began to stress out again.

“O-Okay.” He mumbled.

About ten minutes later Evan began to look uncomfortable. You realised why pretty quickly, it was the scene in the movie where Veronica sang Dead Girl Walking. The actors were grinding and kissing stage and Veronica was wearing a skirt and a bra while JD was shirtless. You had to admit you were getting a little hot under the collar watching them. Evan gingerly removed your feet from his lap and asked you quietly, eyes flashing from you to the TV in front of him. “C-could we try that again?”

“Of course, if you’re sure?” You asked and he nodded.

You pulled yourself onto his lap and he jumped a little, sitting up a little straighter and you smiled before leaning in and connected your lips to his once again. You took a moment to appreciate the softness of his lips, the warmth coming from them. His hands wave around a little as he tried to figure out what to do with them during the significantly more passionate kiss. You gripped his shirt at the shoulders and pressed yourself closer to him while you made out for a few minutes. He finally places one hand on your waist and another behind your neck, you rubbed your tongue across his bottom lip and he gasped, you took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, both of you breathing more and more heavily as you slid your hands up and down his chest. “Evan..” you moaned out and began to kiss his neck softly.

“Y/N..” He gasped, rubbing your back gently. “Y-Y/N! S-Stop!” He pushed you off him shakily. He crossed his legs. “T-Thanks. That was… helpful.. wow. U-Um I need to go to the toilet.” Evan got up quickly with his back to you and ran towards the staircase.

*smut starts here*

“Evan!” You called out and he turned his head to you. “Come here..” you sighed sympathetically. He kept his back towards you as he moved in your direction, trying his best to hide what was clearly a boner. “It’s okay, you know? It’s natural. You’ve never experienced that kind of intimacy before!”

“I-I didn’t mean to! I just couldn’t control it because the kissing was getting so intense and you’re so pretty plus I don’t really, um, touch… y-you know… that very often so when I got excited h-he got excited too I’m really sorry!” He rambled before trailing off. An idea struck you and you stood up and made him turn towards you. His boner was very evident and you sniggered slightly to yourself.

“It’s okay…” You laughed, blushing at his compliment and kissed him again. He jumped back a little as your thigh brushed against his crotch.

“Y-Y/N..” You reached down between the two of you and began to unbutton his pants. “What are you…” He breathed as you began to palm him. He took a half step backwards but moved no further, allowing your hand to remain in its current location.

“It’s all part of the lesson Ev, only if you’re okay with it though. We can stick to kissing if you’d like, that’s completely okay.” You looked him in the eyes, pausing your ministrations.

“C-Can you teach me, um, how to- you know, do… that stuff? I want to be good for Zoe, i-if we go that far. I’m s-scared I won’t… well last. Connor always talks about it like it’s so easy! And I k-know you have experience in that… area.”

“Of course Ev, if you really want that. We’ll stick to the basics okay? If you wanna know a secret, Connor was terrible at sex, to begin with! He learnt over time and so will you… If you want that. We can stop whenever you want, we’ll go slowly?” He nodded nervously and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “If you ever want to stop, let me know okay? Just shout…” You looked over at the baseball glove on the mantle, “Shout ‘glove’ okay?” He nodded at you as you kissed him again, still palming him against the outside of his khakis.

“Y/N... Oh my... If you’re not careful I won’t learn... anything today..” He mumbled into the kiss.

“What did you say?” You chuckled, he seemed to be relaxing a little.

“U-um, nothing! W-What did you say because I didn’t say anything at all I think that was yo- oh god! God!” He cried out as you slipped your hands inside his khakis and pulled his dick out. It was… unexpectedly large. You crouched down and licked gently up the side and his legs wobbled, he reached out a hand to grab the arm of the sofa. “H-Holy s-shit…” His eyes closed as you began to blow his 7-inch dick. “Y-Y/N, stop, stop I can’t hold it, glove!” He cried out and you pulled off him with a pop and looked up smiling.

“You okay?” Evan looked away momentarily, all his nerves overcoming him once again. You stood up and hugged him, pulling back you smiled. “Do you want to stop?” He smiled and shook his head.

“N-No I’m enjoying it, I just felt really nervous because I‘ve never h-had you know a b-blowjob and so I feel really awkward, I-I don’t know what to do, like where do I put my hands? Do I m-move or let you do all the work because that seems mean and I d-don’t want you to think I’m using you because you’re my best friend Y/N and I want you to feel valued. M-Maybe we should just stop, I feel like I-I’m taking advantage of you!” He began to spiral again and you stood up to face him.

“We can stop if you want to, but if we do this- well if I teach you how to do this, it’s not using me, not if I enjoy it too okay? It’s okay for you to enjoy it, casual sex is very normal okay?”

“C-casual s... I, um okay, I’m sorry I’m just panicking a little.”

“We can take a break whenever you need okay? We don’t even have to go all the way, alright?” He pulled his boxers back up the little way you had pushed them down and buttoned his trousers.

“A-Alright…” He replied, breathing heavily and you pulled him into a hug. He hugged you back, gripping your shirt tightly. After a few minutes of the hug, his breathing calmed and he let go. “Okay..”

“So, I’m just gonna kiss you now, since you seem completely comfortable with that. Remember to be natural, and it’s fine to enjoy it!” He nodded and placed his hands gingerly on your waist, fiddling with the hem of your shirt now. His eyes flashed from your eyes to your breasts, before looking away guiltily.

You chuckled again and pulled him into a kiss, ever so often straying to his jawline and neck until he became accustomed to that, you sucked roughly on his neck and he moaned out, not able to hold it in. “S-Sorry, I’ll be… shit… Be quieter…” he apologised, and you looked up at him, a little shocked.

“E-Evan… I like it. Really, be as vocal as you like.” You smile at him and he let out a breath.

“Okay, um, okay, we can, um, wecankeepgoingifyoulike.” The words tumbled out of his mouth and you chuckled slightly.

“Pardon?”

“I-I said we could c-continue if you becauseIwasreallyenjoyingthat.”

“Hmm. Okay.” You placed his hands on your waist and kissed him again softly. “You’re so.. god...” You muttered into his neck before hesitating and pulling away, he laughed a little, nose crinkling that way it always did when he found something amusing. You blushed and he smiled at you, thumbs starting to rub your waist.

“So, so what now?”

“Depends, do you feel ready to go any further? We can stop here if you want.” You reminded him.

“No!” He blurted out before one hand flew from your waist to his mouth, eyes wide. He removed his hand and spoke again. “S-Sorry. Do you want to stop? I don’t want to take, y’know advantage or anything.” He gestured towards

“No. Ev, it’s fine, you aren’t taking advantage of me, you’re allowed to enjoy it.” You reassured him, placing his hands back onto your waist and connecting your lips to his again. He whimpered softly when you slid a hand under his shirt to rub his chest. You deepened the kiss, slipping your tongue into his mouth, easily dominating the kiss, he gingerly slid a hand up and down your waist and you began to unbutton your shirt.

“Um, o-okay, wowwe’rereallydoingthiswowokay,” he mumbled to himself and you took one of his hands off your waist and gently held it. You kissed down his neck, the hand that wasn’t holding his was rubbing collarbone under his polo shirt. His other hand is now on your shoulder.

“Hey, you can touch me you know, here.” You let go of him and pulled your arms out of the sleeves and threw your shirt to the ground. He gasped at the sight of you covered breasts.

"Wow." He breathed out, you pulled his hands up to touch them and he groaned a little. "U-um is this good?" He asked quietly, rubbing his thumbs over your clothed nipples.

"Mmh..." You muttered out, he stared at you, your eyes were closed as you enjoyed the sensation. You reached back to undo the bra and he stopped you.

"I-Is it okay if you um, if you leave it on for now? I don't... I don't think I could actually handle that." He glanced away from you, embarrassed.

"No problem Ev, in all honesty, Zoe isn't the biggest fan of that kind of stimulation anyway so there isn't much point learning about that."

"Huh? Did she tell you that?"

You blushed, not wanting to share your past relationship with Zoe with him just yet, fearing some kind of disgust or negative reaction. "Y-Yeah, I guess we share that kind of stuff with each other..." You cringed internally at the mediocre excuse but he seemed to accept it readily.

"O-Okay. So, should I take my shirt off?" He asked, you nodded, his expression became slightly anxious again and so you pulled the shirt over his head, giving him a small smile to reassure him. You kissed him again, running your hands over his chest before pushing him down onto the sofa and straddling his thighs. You glanced over him, slightly lost for words at his beauty. His chest was surprisingly covered with hairs and freckles dusted his shoulders. Stretch marks littered his hips and he noticed you looking at them and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see your reaction.

"Ev, you're so perfect." You leaned forward and mumbled into his ear before kissing his neck softly. He turned slightly red and stuttered out a reply.

"I-I'm really not..." You pulled back, giving him a stern glare. Leaning forward you kissed up and down his jaw to punctuate your next sentence

"You are. Evan Hansen. You are beautiful. You know that right? I mean you're so handsome and sweet, and the kindest person I know. Remember that. Okay?" You both blushed at your outburst and he nodded subtly. You nodded back and kissed his neck slowly, leaving a couple of hickeys while he gasped out, eyes wide at the sensation. His hands ran up and down your back as he moaned out your name.

"Y/N... God that feels so good." You smiled into his neck, realising he was becoming more comfortable around you. He pulled your face back up gently to kiss him again and he then began to kiss down your neck, your head lolled back in pleasure as he slid his hands just under the hem of your skirt, rubbing your thighs through the holes in your fishnets.

"E-Evan!" You gasped out as he found your sweet spot, sucking it gently, you ground down onto his hips and he gasped into your neck, his forehead pressed against your chin as he groaned softly. “Jesus… I thought you’d never done this before?” You asked in disbelief as he slid a hand up to the hemline of your tights, even closer to where you needed him almost desperately.

“Is this okay?” He whispered into your neck as he hooked his fingers into the waistband. You exhaled a soft reply.

“Oh my god, yes.” He pulled your tights down at the top, you could feel his hands shaking while he did it, he continued to kiss your neck as he pulled your tights further down. “Evan…” you gasped out again and your breathing intensified. “Holy shit you haven’t even touched me yet.” You mumbled to yourself.

“Huh?” he paused, not hearing your comment.

“N-Nothing… Can we hurry up a little?” Evan nodded at you, eyes wide with excitement.

“Please, I’m um, I’m feeling much more, more comfortable. You, youmakemefeelreallysafe.”

“I’m glad you feel comfortable with me Ev, I feel safe with you too.” You replied, letting him take off your tights, following them with your skirt. Now just in your shirt, you kissed his neck again and unbuttoned his jeans. He inhaled suddenly as your hand brushed against his bulge. You stood up, now clad in only your bra and panties. He stood up too and kicked his khakis off his feet before you pulled him back into an embrace, kissing his neck again and running your hands up and down his arms and back before reaching down to hold his butt. He gulped as you reached into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down over his ass. The rush of cold air took him by surprise and grabbed your hands, stopping you.

“Are you okay Evan?” He shrugged and replied to you.

“I’m worried… That I won’t be good enough for you, that you won’t enjoy it, or that I’ll… C-cum too early, I don’t exactly have any practice with, holding out- for very long. Is there a… a way to get you closer first? I… I want you t-to get something out of this too.” Your best friend looked away nervously, one of his common ticks that shone through when he began to let his anxiety take control.

“Of course, I mean I know it’s what Zoe tends to enjoy more than penetration- so, so she’s told me. That's the kind of stuff us girls talk about... Yep...” you trailed off once again. Evan nodded, blushing a little before apprehensively kissing you again. This time it was softly, pulling away he grinned at you, his nose crinkling up again. He kissed you again, slowly pressing soft kisses to your lips and around your jaw.

“Is, is this okay?" He muttered as he reached around to unclip your bra. His fingers ghosting over the strap, waiting for a reply.

"Y-yes fuck, just do it. I don't wanna keep waiting." Your whole body was tingling with excitement as he attempted to unclip your bra, he managed the task with little to no trouble and you took your arms out of the straps, looking up at him and smiling. You felt relief rush over you at having the layer removed, before a sense of nervousness spread through your chest, your heart beating faster as Evan glanced towards your chest and back to your face, attempting to gauge his reaction. Even though you were experienced, you were still insecure.

"Is it okay? I know they're not that big and Zoe's are nicer but-"

"N-No!" Evan interrupted you, eyes wide. "Um, they're- you. You're beautiful. But specifically... they... are beautiful. Really." He fumbled awkwardly with your fingers and tried to be reassuring. You weren't sure if you believed him but you nodded anyway. His fingers, which were previously resting on your hips, had travelled up to rest on the sides of your ribcage, where he apprehensively looked at your breasts. You pushed him down onto the bed and straddled him once again, feeling his hardness pressing against the inside of your thigh. Your mind raced as you ground down on him gently. He looked down at your waist briefly and you pulled his gaze back to you, directing him away from your scars. You kissed him, being slightly rougher as you grew impatient, wanting to just fuck him already. He closed his eyes, whimpering at the friction you provided.

"S-Shit..." he mumbled and you held back a chuckle, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. You took his hands from your waist, sitting up straight so they were opposite him and placed them onto your breasts and his eyes flew open. "Jesus!" He gasped out, attempting to move his hands away but you held them there.

"Ev, you don't have to just stare, you can touch. If you want to, no one’s forcing you.” You explained to you and he gently squeezed them and your eyes half-closed and he rubbed his fingers over the buds of them and stared at them in awe. Suddenly he leaned forward and took one nipple into his open mouth, rolling his tongue across the tip. You moaned out softly and he looked up at you, seemingly nervous about your response to his actions.

“Is that, um, good?” He asked, releasing you.

“God Evan don’t stop...” You panted out, head lolling back. He placed his mouth back on your chest and rubbed the other side gently, he anxiously wiggles his tongue against your flesh, watching you as you moaned out softly. He let go suddenly and you looked down at him.

“Okay, you’re a natural! That was, that was... really good Ev.” You were breathing heavily and he scoffed lightly, holding back a smile. “Can we… head up to your room? It’s a little weird doing it down here with all the pictures of your mum…”

“Y-Yeah, of course, I get that, totally, definitely we can go upstairs. To the room… That I sleep in, to my bedroom.” Evan rambled once again and blushed gently. You took him by the hand and led him.

You stood up and grabbed your clothes, then the pair of you walked into his bedroom hand in hand, you climbed under the covers and he copied you. Kissing you again, he rubbed tiny circles on the small of your back. You reached underneath the covers and attempted to remove his boxers and he pushed them away.

“Um, How do I say this? I want to, um, you know we talked about teaching me to um- you know what it’s fine whatever you want to do is completely fine with me!”

“Evan, it’s about you learning, so yes it’s about mutual pleasure but there’s no point to this if you don’t tell me what you want too, okay?” He nodded silently and you gave him a stern look.

“Um, I mean, can you teach me how to… howtofingeryou?”

“Oh, sure…” A million thoughts raced through your head on how to hide these scars from him. Evan pulled the duvet back and got distracted once again by your breasts. You smiled at his vague innocence and chuckled slightly. Evan inhaled deeply and looked back up at you. He kissed you again, before migrating down to your breasts, licking and sucking gently while you gasped out, he couldn’t help but continue, almost addicted to the sound of your whimpers and moans. “Jesus Evan, that feels so-uh! So fucking good…”

Before you knew it Evan had, with a burst of confidence brought on by your praise, pulled your panties off and kissed you, this time it was more passionate, he stopped observing your body with awe. Before you knew it Evan was kissing your stomach on his way to your thighs.

“Wait, Evan-” You tried to stop him, but it was too late, his head was between your thighs and he was frozen on the spot.

“Y/N…” He gasped out, you could hear the pity in his voice and you hated it.

“Evan, don’t please, I didn’t want you to see… They’re old scars, I don’t feel that way anymore, not much, never that badly.” You tried to pull your knees up to your chest, to cover your scars but Evan held your legs there, at first you flinched as he kissed each one of your scars gently, then you relaxed in his grip and he made no further comments on the subject. You couldn’t have asked for more from this boy, you really were fucked. Doing this with him was a bad idea, it meant much more to you than to him, no matter how much you lied to yourself, but fuck, if you weren’t going to do it anyway.

“Evan, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“I’m your best friend, it’s my job to care about you!” He protested and looked away, struggling to take the compliment. “Okay, can you tell me what to do? I’m, I guess I’m just not really sure what to do now…”

“Well that’s why we’re here isn’t it?”

“...Si..Senorita! Um, sorry. I got nervous again.” Evan blushed and looked up at you from between your legs.

“Okay um, so, god I’ve never really explained this before, just, rub around the outside a little bit? I’m pretty… well, I’m pretty wet already, so you can probably slide one finger in straight away..?” You stuttered while you tried to explain what to do. Zoe wasn’t a virgin when you dated and Connor never asked any questions, you assumed he had learnt from porn?

“Okay…” You looked down just as Evan touched your entrance with a finger apprehensively and you whimpered under your breath, internally begging him to speed up, although he didn’t mean to he was teasing you mercilessly and you could hardly bear the tension. He rubbed his forefinger against you gently and you couldn’t help but moan out. He drew his hand away sharply and looked up at you.

“Is everything okay?”

“Jesus Evan, it’s fine, just… felt really good. Don’t stop now okay?” You told him and he nodded, returning to his ministrations. “H-Holy shit…” You muttered under your breath as he slid a finger gently inside of you.

“Is this okay?” He paused.

“God, keep going Evan.” You gasped out, clutching softly at the sheets with one hand. He pumped his middle finger in and out of you gently, easing it through every time, he treated you as though you were made of glass. This was very different from sex with Connor or Zoe, which was quick and rough and mind blowing. He was so cautious, gentle, he focused on your pleasure. Not to say you didn’t get off with Connor or Zoe respectively, you always did, but this was in a very different way. You felt extra pressure suddenly, realising that Evan had slid his forefinger in alongside the middle one, you barely held back your gasp. Having easily slid in the second, Evan entered you with a third, his ring finger. You moaned out and panted gently, feeling him stretch you slightly with his fingers.

“I-If you, oh god, okay- If you want you can- uh- you can use your mouth too, only if your com-comfortable though- Jesus, Evan!” You managed to stutter out as he thrust his fingers into you.

“Okay, I’ll try it?” Evan replied, nervous, he wasn’t sure if he would be any good at that, and you seemed to be enjoying what he was already doing and what if he didn’t like the taste? No. This was about learning, trying new things, now was no time to let his anxiety get the best of him. He leaned in and licked the tiny nub above your entrance. You cried out, your legs flailing slightly. Evan jumped in surprise. You must be sensitive there, he started treating the tiny nub like he did your breasts, giving it tiny licks and sucking on it with gusto.

He decided he liked the taste.

You reached down and tangled your fingers in his hair and he groaned out, directly onto your clit and began to thrust his fingers into you even faster, you gripping onto his hair for dear life.

“Holy, Holy shit! Okay, okay you need to st-stop…” You pushed his head away gently and Evan looked up at you, pouting subtly.

“But you didn’t finish?” He asked, confused.

“I don’t want to cum yet, then what happens to you?” You replied, breathless.

“Well, I guess, nothing? I want you to, well I want you to cum and I don’t think I’m gonna last very long, no siree.” He rambled and you pulled him up so he was half-straddling you.

“I’m nearly there, I’ll direct you okay? Do you have any condoms up here?” You asked. “I’m on the pill but you know, for safety?” Evan nodded nervously.

“Mom keeps some in the bathroom, ‘just in case I ever bring a girl over’.” He chuckled at the idea before giving you a quick kiss and getting off you to go to the bathroom. You lay there silently shocked, that kiss wasn’t just practice. That was him, kissing you, not as part of making out, just a kiss. He walked back into the room and you snapped out of your daze and leaned up on your elbows.

“Okay, do you know how to put a condom on?” Evan nodded, pinching the tip and rolling it over himself after removing his boxers. He climbed onto the bed and straddled you again. You lay in the missionary position at the end of the bed so he could reach you easily and Evan aligned his cock with your entrance.

“Are you ready?” He asked, nervous about hurting you. He had heard that sex could be painful when the guy was on the bigger side and from what he had concluded, he was.

“Mmh hmm. Just take your time okay? Don’t be afraid to cum first, you can always finish me off afterwards.” You reminded him and he nodded. You felt a large pressure at your entrance and then a stretching sensation.

“Shit, oh my god, shit, oh my GOD!” Evan cried out, he finally filled you all the way, he length was certainly impressive, a little larger than Connor’s, you’d never had anything of that size inside you so you managed to gasp out a request.

“C-Can you just wait a second?” Your question came out as more of a whimper as the burning sensation that came with the stretching began to fade as your body adjusted.

“Um, shit, okay yeah,” Evan replied, leaning over you slightly and gasping. He tried to steady his breathing a little, calming down.

“Okay, you can move, just, slowly? I know it’s hard but- it’s cliche but I’ve quite literally never had anything this big inside me…” You trailed off and Evan tried to suppress a smile at the idea of being bigger than anything you’d ever had. He ever so gently pulled back, only halfway before pushing back all the way in. You inhaled sharply, a shockwave of pleasure running through you as he hit something deep inside of you. He pulled back again, this time too far and his dick slid out of you completely.

“Shit. Sorry.” He muttered, pushing back into you, filling the emptiness that overtook you so suddenly, your back arched as his pelvic bone brushed against your clit and you moaned. He repeated the thrusting at the same angle and you gasped again. He consistently thrust in and out of you at the same angle, his eyes closed tight shut as he held on to his orgasm as long as he possibly could. You reached down and grabbed his hips, stopping him.

“Evan, the first lesson of sex, don’t stick with the same position, it can get boring... Try other angles too, you can even be a little rough with your thrusts if you like, just let loose a little, it doesn’t have to be so structured, yeah?”

“O-Okay. I can do that, let go, just let go. That’s not hard. Here we go, okay.” He mumbled to himself. He began thrusting again, his thrusts began becoming a little more erratic and you could tell he was nearing his orgasm, he was going to cum before you and he would never forgive himself. You reached down and began to rub your clit, the knot getting tighter and tighter in your stomach. Evan began thrusting harder, you gasped as he hit a new place inside of you, arching your back and moaning his name breathlessly. Suddenly he pulled out and essentially rolled you over onto your front, so he could access you from behind. He wrapped his hands around your waist and thrust again. At this point, it was less of thrusting and more of a merciless pounding as he chased both his and your orgasm.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much..” He panted over and over again as he neared his orgasm, shifting your position one more time back to missionary, he latched onto one of your nipples while you continued to rub your clit. Pumping in and out of you he moaned out, whimpering and making what you could only describe as a kind of desperate sobbing as he attempted to hold out for you. He began pounding you even harder, the bed shaking as he filled out, gasping, you felt even more pleasure was over you and he pulled away from your chest to look at your face as you tightened around him, your orgasm finally washing over you. His thrusts became stronger and you felt the collision of your pelvic bones, you knew that would leave a bruise.

“Y/n…”

“Ev…” you gasped out as your body spasmed around him but he continued thrusting, giving you no chance to recover and edging you towards your second orgasm.

“Y/N! Oh my god ohmygod ohmygod I can’t hold it.”

“L-let go, Evan!” You cried out, your second orgasm hitting you as he jackhammered in and out of you, gasping your name alongside a string of ‘thank you’s.

“Evan!”

“Thank you, I love you!” Evan let out the garbled sentence and you both collapsed on the bed, spent. In that moment where he pulled out of you, you registered what he’d said.

“You what?” You panted out. Turning to face him.

“I-I just meant that you’re my best friend and I, um I love you.”

“Oh okay, because I, um I love you too, you dork.” You replied. Well if this wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d ever done. You had just had sex with your best friend who you’re in love with, so that he could practice having sex for a date with your ex-girlfriend and other best friend. And then you said you loved each other. What a fucking mess.

Evan didn’t reply, he only turned took the condom off and flopped back down onto the bed to face the ceiling. Out of the corner of your eye you see him move his arm towards your hand, before stopping halfway, changing his mind. You closed the gap and interlocked your fingers with him. After a while he broke the silence.

“So who else knows?” He asked quietly. You turned your head towards him.

“Knows what?” He gestured towards your exposed scars. You sat up and pulled the duvet over the both of you, insecurities flooding you once again.

“One minute. I need to go and pee.” You didn’t answer his question and instead pulled on a t-shirt that was draped over his desk chair. You ran into the bathroom, breathing heavily, you sat on the toilet and peed before sitting down on the floor next to the sink. A few minutes later you heard a knock on the door, just as the tears began to fall.

“Y/N? Can I come in?” You heard the nervous tapping of his foot and figured he was getting really anxious about you.

“Y-Yes…” You replied quietly, . Evan opened the door, clad only in his boxers and saw you on the floor. He dropped to his knees and hugged you.

“I-I’m sorry, I should never have asked you to do this, you regret it now, god I’m really sorry, that was really selfish an-”

‘-Evan!” You interrupted him. “I don’t regret it, I could never regret it, you, I mean. The only people who know are Connor and Zoe, I was having a pretty rough time a couple of years back, me and Zoe had just broken up, Connor wasn’t talking to me so neither was Jared… It was a bad time for me.”

“Wait broken up? You Zoe dated?” Evan’s jaw dropped, everything made sense now. This was all kind of fucked up wasn’t it?

“Yeah… I guess this is me coming out. I’m bisexual… I, um I totally get it if that’s weird for you or something, I didn’t really want you to know.” You finished and looked away. He leaned across and kissed you, a million thoughts racing through his mind, what if you rejected him? What would he say to Zoe? How had he been so obsessed with her for so long with you around? What did this mean to you, if anything? You interrupt his train of thought by wrapping your hands around his neck, kissing him back softly.

“That doesn’t change a thing… I don’t know what’s happened tonight but, I like you, a lot, hell, I love you. I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that it’s too much pressure, you don’t have to say anything obviouslyididn’twann-”

“Oh my god Evan, stop, I love you too. I mean it. You. If you’ll have me, I’d like to be your girlfriend? Or, we don’t have to classify it yet. We can just be, together.”

“No, I- I want to be your boyfriend, I want you to be my girlfriend. If you want to be?”

“Of course I want to be! That’s what I just said to you, dummy!” You retorted, kissing him again. “I guess you won’t need to practice for Zoe anymore then?” You snigger.

“I figured I could, we could practice, for us.” He mumbled.

“I like that idea.” You smiled at him and stood up, pulling him off the ground too. You held his hand and as you were walking down the corridor you heard a shout.

“Evan? Sweetie! I’m home!”

“Shit!” Evan muttered and you both ran to the bedroom, you threw on your skirt and put your bra and shirt back on while Evan pulled his khakis and polo shirt back on. “Okay Mom! I’ll be down in a minute, I’m, um, just finishing up studying!”

“Evan! I can’t find my underwear. I think I left it downstairs!” You whisper shouted to him.

“Fuck, okay, my Mom knows you’re here tonight anyway so just go downstairs and try to look in the living room for them.”

——-//———

So please let me know if you liked this and if you want me to write more!! :)

#deh #dear evan hansen #x reader #dear evan hansen x reader #evan hansen x reader smut #smut #evan hansen #evan hansen x reader #x reader smut #connor murphy #zoe murphy #jared kleinman #deh x reader #smutfic #fanfiction

157 notes · View notes

girlbookwrm · 6 years

Text

It’s here! At last! THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin and @pegasuschick here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages.

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission.

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back.

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c.

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk.

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay.

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY?

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #mcu #Captain America: The Winter Soldier

113 notes · View notes

nickireadstfc · 7 years

Text

The King’s Men, Chapter 10 – [Andreil Intensifies]

In which Mission Fix the Twinyards finally kicks off, Nicky values the important things in life (ice cream), Andreil have a Consent Talk, and oh, also the Foxes rule. Natch.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The King’s Men.

After the game is before the game, so the team kicks off this chapter by sorting through the aforementioned applications for new recruits. This goes well by pretty much everyone but Kevin, whose Exy Elitism is making him kind of a little bitch.

Kevin insisted Wymack put out a second request, to which Wymack demanded Kevin be a little more accepting of strikers who hadn’t been raised to be champions.

Exy-actly.

No offense, but chill, my man.

Neil didn’t have the experience or insight to argue with Kevin, but he quietly clung to one of the choices he’d made and refused to let it go.

Okay, but do we ever find out who Neil recruited?

I need to know this for reasons.

REASONS.

Abby stepped in when the argument got too loud and banished Wymack and Kevin to opposite ends of the locker room.

Bahahahahaha. Love me some good Fox mom moments.

In other news – Mission Fix the Twinyards has finally commenced!

Apparently, all is takes to get them to cooperate is to have them shout emotional murder confessions in each other’s faces. Who would have thought.

“One of these days I want you to tell me how you roped Katelyn into it.”

“I asked,” Neil said.

“There goes that ‘asked’ thing again,” Matt said. “Does it mean something different where you come from?”

“Most of the time, yes,” Neil said.

The unexpected honesty startled a laugh from Matt.

Same.

Also, a laughing Matt is a wonderful Matt. In this household, we like all our Foxes laughing and happy, thank you very much.

However, of course, one counselling session isn’t enough to fix years and years of Twin Teen Trauma (even if it’s with Betsy and her magical cocoa powers), so the brothers still aren’t exactly BFFs, as the kids say.

Wymack looked from one to the other. “Is this going to be an ongoing thing? I need tot know how to plan around you.”

“No,” Andrew said.

Aaron flicked him an irritated look. “Yes.”

BahAHAHA.

Wonderful.

In a rare occurrence, the Foxes get a night off, which everyone takes as an excuse to kick back and relax.

In Kevin and Neil’s case, this means marathoning Exy games and taking notes like fucking nerds.

Nicky, once again, manages to be my fictional voice in this universe:

“It’s Friday night and this is how you’re entertaining yourselves? Give me a break! Think about something else for a while, would you? Like ice cream.”

SAME, MY DUDE.

Nicky, in a brave attempt to distract Neil’s nerdy ass (as we all know, all hope is lost on Kevin), tries to convince him to go to the store with him, which of course – works?

Neil looked at Andrew and thought about Nicky’s worried appeal last fall, the warning that one day Exy wouldn��t be enough on its own. (…) Neil built his life around Exy after his mother dies because he needed something to live for, but Neil wasn’t alone anymore.

BITCH I’M CRYING.

I am SHOOKETH.

And all of this over ice cream.

The food of gods, my guys. The food of gods.

Also: Nicky apparently isn’t on Andrew’s insurance policy anymore and doesn’t have the keys to the new car either? Which means Andrew didn’t just give Neil permission to use his car, but gave it only to him?? What kind of gay FUCKERY????

I can’t believe I’m really out here having feelings about car policies. What the fuck has this book done to me.

Speaking of gay shit!

You thought we were done with a little angsty kissy-kissy on the rooftop?

SHIT NO.

THERE IS MORE.

“Question,” Neil said, “when you said you don’t like being touched, is it because you don’t like it at all or because you don’t trust anyone else enough to let them touch you?”

HELL yes, this is what I am about.

Give me that sweet sweet consent talk.

“It doesn’t matter to a man who doesn’t swing,” Andrew clarified.

Neil shrugged. “I don’t because I’ve never been allowed to. The only thing I could think about growing up was surviving.”

Hell yeah again for Neil not having a Gay Freakout over this <33

Only like, a General Life Anxiety Freakout, but when does he ever not have that one.

Maybe this was why this was in that gray area of what was acceptable. It didn’t matter that Andrew was a would-be sociopath or a man; the idea of Andrew was so intertwined with the idea of Neil’s safety that this too was a means of self-preservation.

That’s… kind of poetic, actually.

Damn, Josten.

“I trust you.”

“You shouln’t.”

“Says the man who stopped.”

Ohhhhhhhh, you clever boy, you.

I LOVE this.

Please know that I am giggling gleefully, almost manically, during this entire exchange.

“So are you completely off-limits or are there any safe zones?”

“What are you hoping for, coordinates?”

“I’m hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them,” Neil said, “but I’m open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker.”

Bless these boys and their sass at all times.

Also DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS CONSENT TALK I DON’T THINK I DID.

Seriously, this is so, so important and so, so wonderful.

“I’m still waiting for a yes or no I actually believe,” Andrew returned.

“Yes.”

BITCH, YES.

“It’s fine if you hate me,” Neil said.

It was the truth, if a bit of an understatement. So long as Andrew was only physically attracted to Neil, this was safe to experiment with. Neil’s death wouldn’t be more than a faint inconvenience to Andrew.

My boy…

Yeah right. A faint inconvenience, my entire fucking ass.

“Good,” Andrew said, “because I do [hate you].”

Again – yeah right, my entire fucking ass.

“Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

And the next part I’m sparing you all because this is, frankly, unholy.

I want to quote everything.

I want to quote nothing, and let us all treasure the absolute gloriousness of the following makeout session in peace.

Because honestly – I read a lot, and I read a lot that has kissing in it, and this is still one of the best, most real, most heartfelt-without-being-tacky descriptions of kissing I’ve ever read. All the kudos to you, Nora.

I am way, way too invested in this pair by now. Holy shit.

All good gay things come to an end, though, and eventually Nicky comes back, diverting the good gay things with ice cream and horror movies.

But – our boys don’t quite walk away from their, ahem, encounter quite as unscathed as they’d like:

Andrew had stayed by the door after letting Nicky in. Thinking that Andrew needed space and time to regroup the same way Neil did almost wrecked Neil’s attempts to get his neutral façade back together.

This is the most beautiful shit I’ve read all chapter, what the fuck.

Any time we see indicators of Andrew not being an Emotionless Void With Arm Bandages, I gain +5 years to my life expectancy.

Phew. We survived the gay shit once again, folks. What’s next?

Oh yeah.

SPORTSBALL.

More specifically, Neil and Kevin have an argument about whether to be a Technical Mastermind Player, The Very Best, Like No One Ever Was, or whether to be an Intuitive, Impulsive Heat Of The Moment Player, Because Fuck You Kevin.

Basically, Kevin wants to bone the perfect game, while Neil wants to bone the suspenseful game.

Oh, guys.

(Watch me revive year old memes at all times, watch me.)

In related Sportsball News – the Foxes have their first death match coming up!

And apparently they’re… Crushing it?

When the Foxes hit the court February 9th, no one was expecting the fight they brought to it. (…) The sportscasters were shaking their heads in amazement.

“I’m not entirely sure who we’re looking at now or what they did with last year’s Foxes, but they’ve completely blown me away.”

BITCH, ME TOO.

Also hah, we almost made it exactly to the date again – three days late, but this is still such a nice touch to be reading this in almost real time.

“This is the kind of synchrony you’d expect from top-notch schools. A few weeks ago we all laughed when freshman Neil Josten said the Foxes were raring for a rematch with the Ravens. No one’s laughing now.”

Hell fucking YEAH for my children. I am such a proud soccer mom.

Exy mom. Whatever.

The seniors exchanged a long look, exhausted and triumphant. (…) The girls came to Palmetto State University knowing it’d take work to salvage that sour reputation and knowing Wymack was their only ally. (…) Despite every loss and every roadblock, they’d made it, and now they were finally getting the nod they deserved.

Uhm, YOU GUYS IMMA CRY.

Honestly, this bit right there just got to me. These three fought so hard, wading through patriarchal bullshit every day of their lives and going on still, and now they finally fucking made it, and we get to see them as a unit, standing proud.

More love towards our Fox girls always, y’all.

TREASURE THEM WITH ME.

(Also, did I mention I’ll be cosplaying these three ladies with two friends of mine at a con here in Germany next month? With full jerseys? And did I mention I’m hella excited? And does that heighten my feelings over this bit hardcore right now??

Absolutely.)

Back to the death match – hey, remember last book when Andrew actually gave a shit about Exy for 0.2 seconds and pulled some really sweet stunts?

Apparently, our boy has decided to up his Giving A Shit game to 0.3 seconds now, because I manages to give Neil a goal shot by – hold on – making Nicky take a red card for fucking flooring a dude, taking the penalty shot, deflecting it like an absolute badass, and clearing the ball all the way up the long ass court.

Holy shit, my dude. Do I want to see what you’re like when you give 0.4 shits, or even one (1) entire shit?

Unbelievable.

Also, there is a description in there of Neil running “like his father was on his heels”, and if that isn’t the funniest, most unexpected bit of gallows humour I’ve seen in this chapter I don’t even know.

[As the match went on] Andrew stopped every shot on goal and bounced a couple rebounds off the strikers’ helmets just to rile them further.

Andrew, I love you.

And of course, what happens as soon as Andrew moves so much as a little finger?

The buzzer sounded on an eight-three win. They’d dominated their first death match and were on to round three for the first time ever.

HECK FUCKIN’ YEEAAAAAHHHHHH.

Sadly, even though he may give a tiny bit more of a shit on the court, as soon as the game is over Andrew is back to being his angsty self. Shame.

Petition for their final game to be the one that finally gets through to Andrew, please.

However, Nicky more than makes up for his mood.

“Can you believe it?” he asked, amazed. “We are such hot shit sometimes!”

Nicky, never change. <3

When they go back to Wymack And Abby’s for a mandatory team celebration, there is another bit of Quality Nicky Content that had me in absolute hysterics:

Matt commandeered the sound system in the other room. Nicky and Allison argued with all of his choices and each other, but they didn’t sound serious so Neil didn’t intervene.

I cannot, cannot stress how much I love this.

PARTY DJS NICKY AND ALLISON. GIVE ME THEM SWEET FANARTS NOW.

Brb, making a playlist instantly.

Neil, sadly, isn’t super hyped about choosing the latest bops, and goes in search of his boyfriend instead, who he finds sitting on a car gazing into nothingness – as one does when one is Gay, Angsty and Dramatic.

“We won,” Neil said. (…) “Would it kill you to let something in?”

“It almost did last time,” Andrew said.

YIKES.

Hope your foot tastes good, Neil, because you just put it real nicely in your mouth.

“You sound like a wind-up doll with only one topic,” Andrew said. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“If I talk about something else, will you talk to me?”

Andrew quirked a brow at him. “Can you talk about something else?”

Oh, burn.

One last thing before we go –

Halfway across the lawn his phone went off. Neil was annoyed enough to answer tonight’s “28” in his inbox with an “Enough”.

No one responded.

Seriously guys, what the happ is fuckening.

If you like what I do here and you want me to continue writing fun things for you, why not buy me a coffee? Every lil bit helps, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!

#tfc #aftg #the foxhole court #all for the game #andreil #tkm #the king's men #nora sakavic #nicki reads tfc #sorry for the delay y'all #uni life is stressful rn but hopefully the worst is over soon #also we're more than halfway through by now???? what the heckie?????#where has the time gone #ANYWAYS hope y'all like it #drop me a line if you did #byeeeeeeee

124 notes · View notes

aozorasoann · 7 years

Text

"The thing about being protective”

@lheonce Here’s your gift for the Baguette Secret Santa! I hope you like it! J’ai utilisé mon interprétation des personnages pour plusieurs choses, surtout Katelyn, donc j’espère que ça te conviendra ^^’

Synopsis : “The twins are spending time together and Katelyn can’t help but think about their relationship”

No one exactly knew how it had happened except for the twins themselves, but somehow, Andrew had started teaching Aaron how to drive. They didn't know who had the idea, how Andrew decided it was acceptable to let Aaron drive his Maserati or even that Aaron wanted to learn, but the fact was that now, every sunday and wednesday, the twins took a few hours to themselves during which Andrew drove Aaron somewhere and taught him how to drive. No one knew how the lessons were going or even if Andrew could be a decent teacher despite his, let's say, unusual ways of communicating, but the twins' relationship didn't seem to have changed much in any way despite the lessons, so one did have to assume that they could be going worse.

Katelyn would even, if someone had asked her, admit that it seemed that the lessons were going very well, for Aaron seemed in a pretty good mood everytime he came back from them, not that she ever pointed it out. She liked her boyfriend happy and if that meant not talking about the way he and his brother tentatively tried to mend their fractured relationship, well, she wasn't exactly happy about it but she was a patient and tactful person and she could wait for the right moment.

She would have said that it was sweet of Andrew to teach him if she had never met Andrew Minyard, but she also knew that most of Andrew's bark and bite had to do with how overprotective he was of his people. Still definitely not sweet though. But once again, if connecting with his jerk of a brother was the reason the love of her life was so... she wouldn't say happy, but content, satisfied in a way, well then who was she to complain?

It was Sunday, so she was actually waiting for him to finish one of these lessons when the thing happened for the first time. Aaron was joining her in the dorms to study - unfortunately nothing more, her roommates had refused to leave the room empty - and she had been waiting in the hallway, hoping that maybe they could find someplace where they would, at least, not be disturbed by very loud and nosy roommates who never seemed able to leave her and her relationship alone.

He had been coming from the stairs, a soft smile on his lips the moment he saw her, when Eliza, one of the girls next door, opened her door laughing, a boy Katelyn didn't know behing her. Whatever they had intended to do, they froze the moment they saw Aaron. Eliza had seen him a few times probably, since she lived next to Katelyn, but the guy clearly never had and, almost immeditaly, blurted out "Man, isn't that the guy who murdered someone?"

To his credit, Aaron barely reacted. He didn't roll his eyes or flip the guy off like he might have wanted to, he didn't freeze like he would have almost a year ago, he kept walking with a frown but didn't dignify it with an answer.

Katelyn, however? She wanted to kill the guy.

Who did he think he was? He didn't know Aaron, he didn't know Andrew, he didn't know whatever had happened that awful day, he had no right to judge or be afraid like his voice implied. He had no right to hurt her boyfriend like that.

"Excuse you?" she said icily.

The guy seemed to suddenly realize she was there and maybe he saw inside her head for one second because he took a step back. He was frowning.

"Sorry," he said "I just didn't know he'd be there. I mean, I didn't follow the thing, but..."

"Well then you don't have any opinion worth sharing," she interrupted him while taking Aaron's arm. "And we're leaving."

She might have dragged her boyfriend behind her for a few steps before the anger abated enough for her to think straight again. Aaron was silent, but when she turned toward him, he was smirking.

"That was cute."

"Shut up," she grumbled.

He slowly took her hand away from his arm and kept it in his own, delicately. Maybe too delicately for what she had felt she would have used them for if they had stayed there even one more second.

"Not that I don't enjoy seeing you defending me, pumpkin juice, but you don't have to listen to them. I've dealed with much worse than that when it was still fresh news."

He had meant to reassure her, but she just felt worse, and that bottomless anger, that thing that she had felt then threatened to come back again. She wanted to destroy them, all those who had dared to pass judgement on him without having walked in his shoes. She breathed deeply and felt the poison recede a little. Aaron had probably seen her face because he was now holding her hand in both of his, concern present in his eyes. She forced a pout.

"Pumpkin juice? Seriously? Didn't we already have a discussion about that?"

"You talked, I decided I liked it and elected to ignore you."

She huffed in mock outrage and let him laugh at her before she admitted she had no idea where they should be going.

While they walked, looking for a place to stop, she couldn't help but wonder about the thing, the anger. She had felt it swallow her whole, maybe if she hadn't left she would have fought. Maybe she would have hurt the guy and not regretted it. She had to wonder, even for just one second, if it was the way Andrew felt when he saw her.

She never exactly forgot about it, but it came back to her when she was searching for him and knocked on his dorm room. She wasn't surprised to have Matt Boyd open the door and even less surprised at the smile he gave her. What she had done to deserve such a nice welcome every time he saw her, she didn't know, but it probably had nothing to do with how she had kicked his ass in the last team party's drinking contest.

"Hello Katelyn, you were looking for Aaron?" She nodded and Matt shook his head. "He is not here right now, went out something like one hour ago. 'said Andrew needed him for something. But he should be back soon."

Behind him, Nicky appeared and added: "You want to wait for him here? I made coffee. We both forgot about it so it's kind of disgusting, to be honest, but hey, coffee is coffee."

She laughed and politely refused. While they could be nice people, they were also very interested in her relationship. A lot more than even her nosiest roommates, who could harass her every day while Aaron never said a word about his relationships to anyone. And while she wouldn't mind entertaining them with a few stories (like the time they had fought for something dumb and she had changed his contact name to "fucking dumbass", she would have left out the sweet things he had done to beg for forgiveness, though, these belonged to her and only her), she also knew that despite Matt's claims, if he had gone to help Andrew with something, it might actually take him more than an hour or two before coming back. She would rather start her homework than wait for hours with her boyfriend's cousin and roommate.

There were actually a few instances in which she had realized how much her boyfriend loved his brother. They were small things, things he could deny if he wanted to pretend he hated him, but they happened nonetheless. The twins loved each other, no matter how self-destructive they acted about it. It was a fact Katelyn might have accepted before they did themselves. There were some times, especially around the trial, when she remembered Aaron saying – and probably sometimes pretending - that Andrew needed him for something and leaving her with a few apologies. He might have never noticed the times his excuses were flimsy at best and Katelyn never told him. She never asked, half because she didn't want to embarrass him and half because she didn't want to get between the brothers. Andrew had been clear enough about what would happen to her if she did.

But when she thought about it, most of the time, she wondered if the two brothers didn't simply need to know that the other was safe. Safe and close. She hoped they could learn to let go of the other, or their future life wouldn't be easy. Not that it would be even without that, she feared these boys could never have an easy life.

A few days after failing to find her boyfriend in his room, she was the lucky secret witness of a rare scene. When she realized how hard it was to catch Neil Josten and Andrew during their alone time, she had to wonder if it was extreme good luck or extreme bad luck that had made her go to the stadium that day.

Truth being said, she was there to get something for Aaron. He had forgotten his gloves. The cold winter wind had reminded him soon enough, but since Katelyn didn't have class while he did at the moment, he had asked her if she could and "Please Pumpkin juice? I will rub your shoulders!" and "You don't need to make impossible promises if you want me to do things, dummy, we both know you can barely reach my shoulders." and that was as good as a yes.

She hadn't expected to see Palmetto's Oddest Couple there but the terror that had seized her at the moment had obliterated every other feeling. She had pretty awful memories of the last time these two alone had been with her. Her first reaction had been to hide in the next room, hoping that they did not see her. A few secondes later, Andrew's bored voice had said a few words and she had tensed before realizing they were addressed to Neil. "You're an idiot."

Neil groaned. "It's just a bruise."

"A bruise or bruised ribs. Remind me why you wouldn't let Abby look at you."

"You know why."

"That's still incredibly stupid of you, Mr. I'll be Court one day. I know Kevin already had a talk with you about hiding your injuries."

"It's nothing, I swear!"

"This isn't nothing."

Neil snorted at that and there was a little bit of annoyance in Andrew's voice when he started talking again.

"You know what I meant. Keep your smart comments to yourself."

"You know you like it. But fine, I'll let Abby take a look. Now, I'll give you your hand back but only if you let me stand up."

"Try to walk without almost dying, for a change."

They kept bickering until they had left, a banter with sweet undertones that reminded her that yes, these two had a relationship, as weird and private as it was and - oh my god were they holding hands? Well of course they were, they were a couple weren't they?

She felt a little ashamed to realize how much she had expected the unusual couple to do nothing classically refered to as couple-y, but maybe it was just that they never did this kind of thing in front of others. Andrew was a private person, Aaron was too, but with the way Neil talked and sassed everyone who looked at him the wrong way, she had expected something else from him, grand gestures, public displays of affection... Yet she couldn't imagine Andrew agreeing with that so maybe it was the reason.

She decided to stop thinking about it. Her boyfriend's brother's love life wasn't anything she should find interest in, so why was she suddenly so obsessed? Maybe it was the same kind of fascination one had with the way dangerous animals lived? As long as you weren't running for your life, they just looked like fierce creatures with interesting habits.

Yet, the exchange she had witnessed sticked with her. Andrew had a point in that every injury Neil got could should be professionally examined, but the fact that he took the time to make sure Neil was or wasn't alright before convincing him to go and see the team nurse spoke of a care she should have already associated with him. After all, it wasn't the first time she had seen - heard - whatever - him be protective. It might just have been the first time there wasn't any violence involved with the protection.

But more than that, she thought about the way Neil had acted. Teasing, yes, a little annoyed as if his lover? Boyfriend? was acting like an overconcerned mother hen, but soon enough, he had been calm and placating. Which, well, fair enough, placating Andrew was always a priority she would say, but it was quite obvious that Neil had agreed to go and see the team nurse so quickly for Andrew's sake and not because he agreed with him.

It reminded her of the way she acted around Aaron when he came back bruised from training. She knew it was nothing, she knew they had a nurse, she even knew Aaron could take care of himself - obviously, he was acing the same courses she was taking - but she couldn't help but worry. She wanted to help. It was a feeling she had come to associate with her boyfriend everytime she saw him. She wanted to protect him in a way, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. She, Katelyn, fierce cheeleader yes but one of the most ordinary person in that damn school, wanted to protect her backliner of a boyfriend, who had already gone through so much shit that his skin had basically turned to steel.

Sometimes, she had seen Neil's eyes turn to ice when one dared throw a derogative word towards Andrew, even though the man himself didn't seem to give a flying fuck about the way others saw him. Better to be feared than loved might have been the Minyard way, but it clearly wasn't something their significant other agreed with. And the ones who loved them had one thing in common: they desperately wanted to protect these people who could probably look after themselves.

Probably. The thing resurfaced a few weeks later. She had said goodbye to Aaron, who had accompanied her to her class because it was on the way to these famous driving lessons that seemed to make him so content, and had left. Then, one of these jerks that are unfortunately everywhere – a guy named Claus who she had barely ever talked to but who loved to give her his opinion even when she clearly wasn't interested - said so loudly that it was obvious he wanted her to hear: "I still don't get how that guy didn't end up in prison."

Slowly, she had turned towards him and she had felt the venom, the poison take control of her veins. That violent need to protect posessed her. "He was protecting his brother, you asshole, how dare you say something like that."

"Yeah, right. Pretty sure the freak was enjoying it anyway."

Well, looked like she was going to tear him a new asshole.

The biggest miracle that happened that day might have been the fact that the guy didn't even get a black eye. She got in his face, ready to throw him to the ground - some would have said she probably couldn't do it, she didn't have the strength, but she was actually pretty sure she could have taken him. (Being a cheerleader takes a lot more strength than people think.) But she stopped at putting a finger in his face.

"Oh no, mister, you don't get to say that. You need to learn how to shut your trap before someone shuts it for you. I'm enclined to destroy your jaw right now and you would deserve it."

"Come on, you can't..."

"I can and I will! You don't get to insult my boyfriend like that. Are you saying that if you saw someone hurting a person you love you wouldn't help them? If so you are despicable, much more despicable than my Aaron could ever be. And then you try to pretend that someone could actually enjoy... you are digusting, be glad I'm the one who heard you, I'll stop at a warning for this time. Next time I'll punch you I swear, and I know two people who would have done worse if they had heard you. Believe-me, if they had decided to kill you, I would have watched."

"Why are you defending him? You hate him! Is it because he's your boytoy's brother, 'cause come on Kate, you know the guy is crazy!"

"Disliking and being disliked by someone does not stop you from being a fucking decent person, you piece of shit!" She spat. "But I wouldn't be surprised if the concept seemed totally alien to you."

She had to stop there, because the teacher had just arrived and was watching the scene with the tired eyes of someone who had had far too many similar moments in their life.

"Am I interrupting something?" he said in a dry voice implying that he didn't care as long as it didn't disturb their class.

"No, not really. We were done." Katelyn answered, still glaring at the douchebag.

He clearly thought it wasn't worth missing class for and didn't add anything, so she ended up sitting down, silently forcing herself to calm down her anger, seething, thinking it was a good thing Aaron had not witnessed that. In fact, she was so focused on biting her tongue that she didn't check the hallway or see blonde hair walking away.

Aaron could not have had, in fact, witnessed the scene, as he was now standing in front of the Maserati, anxiously waiting for his brother who had never made a habit of being late for these lessons.

Finally, he saw Andrew coming closer, expressionless as always. Yet, in that weird way that only those who really knew him could notice, he looked a little thoughtful.

Nonchalantly, he threw his keys at his brother, who caught them, fumbling a little bit but never dropping them.

"We'll make it short today." said Andrew.

"Got somewhere to be?"

"I don't. You might. Someone will need to check on you soon."

"What?"

He didn't get any answer and wasn't that surprised, getting an answer with words out of Andrew had been deemed impossible by pretty much anyone that wasn't Neil Josten. Aaron quickly forgot about it, only remembering a few hours later, when Andrew made him stop early and dropped him of in front of the building where Katelyn had her classes.

When she came out, she had seemed a little distressed and just mentioned some people were being assholes about him. He didn't ask to know more, he had waited for a while and during that time, far too many people had already thrown jokes about what had happened earlier at him, but he had to wonder about the odds of Andrew hearing Katelyn fiercely defending both of them.

"Someone will need to check on you soon." Andrew had said. He had a little smile, wondering at the fact that Andrew now thought of Katelyn as someone. Someone important enough for Aaron that he would sacrifice their precious bonding time to let her check on him.

(Here's a secret no one has to know: no one convinced Andrew to start teaching Aaron how to drive. Both of them may have needed that time together and neither of them would have freely admitted it, but when Andrew had thrown the keys at his brother while saying "Time for you to stop being useless around a car", they had both known what this was really about.)

What had just happened wasn't exactly trust or even a tentative friendship. But it was some kind of acceptance. It was Andrew accepting that Katelyn was important for his brother and that she actually found him - both of them - worth defending. It was accepting that, maybe, he could let her protect him sometimes, instead of doing it all on his own.

And right now, for Aaron, it was more than enough.

#aftg #the foxhole court #Aaron Minyard #Katelyn #kaaron #Andrew Minyard #andreil #(in the background but still there)

128 notes · View notes

robronsecretsanta · 7 years

Text

Fanfic: Making a List

to @thisdamndesire, love from your secret santa

“Please be my date to the Christmas party.” Robert all but begged Leyla, under the pretence of handing her some files.

“You know I’m already going with Ross.”

“Yes but I’m desperate. I need a date. Don’t make me ask my sister again.”

“I like your sister. She told me all sorts of interesting things about you at the barbeque last summer.”

“What did she tell you? Wait. Never mind. That’s exactly why I can’t ask my sister. Be my date please? I’ll make it worth your while.”

Leyla sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Ok I have two questions for you. One,” she said and stuck one finger in the air, “Why do you need a date to the office Christmas party so badly? And two, ” another finger joined the first “Why don’t you ask Aaron?”

“What? Why would I ask Aaron?” Robert asked, hoping Leyla didn’t notice the hint of panic in his voice.

“Because you’ve been in love with him since your first day?”

“That’s not true. That’s crazy.”

Leyla raised an eyebrow at him in response.

“And even if I was in love with him, which I’m not, it wouldn’t matter because he’s dating that rugby player in the too tight t shirt that he brought to the barbecue.”

“No he’s not.”

“What? I saw him kiss the guy over a hamburger.”

“Yeah but they split up.”

“How do you know?”

“He told me. I talk to him. Ask him about his fit rugby player boyfriend.”

“Oh are we talking about his crush on Aaron again?” Vanessa asked, rolling her chair over to Leyla’s desk. “You should ask him out. He likes you too.”

“What? How do you know? Has he said anything?”

“He doesn’t need to. You two are the least subtle people on this planet.”

“Yeah the constant flirting. It’s the worst kept secret in this building”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The heart eyes.” Leyla started, looking at Vanessa for help.

“The excuses to go see each other. Bad ones at that.” Vanessa added.

“Oh yes. Any normal person would just pick up the phone or send an email but you two always go see each other.” Leyla jumped in and Robert felt his cheeks burn.

“And the coffee runs. You never ask us if we want coffee when you get some from that place across the street.”

“That’s because the girl who works there always gets his order wrong! And she’s always quick to help me.”

“Quick to help you out of your clothes more like.” Finn said, dropping a file on Leyla’s desk. “She asked me if you were single the other day. She’s in love with you.”

“You know it’s rude to listen in on other people’s conversations, don’t you?”

“My desk is right behind you. I couldn’t not listen if I tried.”

“Right… what did you tell her?”

“That you’re gay.”

“I’m not gay, I’m bi.”

“I know that. But she doesn’t have to know that.” Finn sighed and walked back to his desk. “Just ask him out. Do us all a favour.”

“Does everyone here know all the details of my love life?” Robert asked and was met with an unimpressed “Yes.” from all three of his co-workers.

“Robert… hey… sorry am I interrupting something?” Aaron asked, walking over to Robert who hadn’t noticed him come in.

“No, no it’s f-fine.” Robert stammered.

“We were just talking about dates for the Christmas party. Who are you bringing?” Leyla asked Aaron. “That fit guy you brought to the barbecue last summer?”

“Ed? No we broke up. I don’t think I’m actually going to the party.” Aaron said with a shrug.

“Oh come on, you have to go.” Leyla said. “Finn is bringing his hot doctor boyfriend and Ness is bringing her new girl. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah but it’s not really my style is it? All fancy suits and all. I’m more of a jeans and hoodie kind of guy. ”

“I bet you don’t look half bad in a suit.” Robert said, smiling at him and holding his gaze maybe a little too long.

“Alright. I’ll think about it.” Aaron promised after beat and cleared his throat. “I uh… was wondering if you could give me a hand with the numbers for the Williams account. I’ve been at it all morning and my head is spinning.”

“Sure. No problem.” Robert said quickly and followed Aaron to the floor he worked on.

“So… are you bringing a hot date to the party?” Aaron asked after a while. “That girl you were with last summer. She was nice.”

“Yeah? You think so?” Robert asked and laughed. “That was my sister Victoria. And she’s almost 6 months pregnant now. Her answer to pretty much everything right now is No. Come back when I can see my feet again.”

Aaron laughed.

“So you’re going to be uncle Robert?”

“Yeah. God help that kid.”

They made small talk for a while as they worked together. Aaron obviously didn’t need any help but neither of them mentioned that.

“I uh… should get back to my desk.” Robert said when they were done. “See you at the party?”

Aaron nodded.

“Yeah I think so.”

“Good. See you Friday then.”

“Yeah. See you Friday.”

———

“There you are! We were beginning to think you weren’t coming anymore!” Leyla said, obviously a little tipsy already when Robert arrived at the party, about an hour later than planned.

“Yeah. Car trouble. Had to find a garage to come pick up my car and then a taxi to get me here.” Robert explained, taking the drink Leyla handed him.

“At least you can get drunk with the rest of us now.” She said and laughed.

Robert downed the drink and looked around, hoping to see Aaron.

“I saw him talking to Tom earlier.” Leyla said, knowing exactly who Robert was looking for. Suddenly she wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed his cheek.

“What did you do that for?”

She smiled and pushed something into his hand.

“Tradition. Go find your man.”

Robert looked down at his hand and saw a tiny plastic branch of mistletoe. He laughed and shook his head and decided to go say hi to some people and try not to make it too obvious he was looking for Aaron.

In the end he found him near the drinks table, after cursing whoever had been in charge of the decorations for the night. He’d never seen so much mistletoe in his life. Or known how many of his female co-workers wanted to kiss him.

“Hey… I was beginning to think you stood me up.” Aaron said when he saw Robert.

“No chance. I love a good party.” Robert replied, allowing himself to stare at Aaron for a second. He really did look great in a suit.

“Well then you’re in the wrong place. The DJ is awful. I’ve been here an hour and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard Mariah Carey at least five times.” Aaron told him and made a face when the first bars of All I Want For Christmas blasted from the speakers. “Make that six.”

Robert laughed.

“Do you want to get some air? I saw a balcony on my way over here.”

Aaron nodded and followed Robert outside.

“Peace and quiet at last.”

“Not a fan of Christmas music then?”

“Not 6 times in a row. Where did they find this guy?”

“He’s a mate of mine.” Robert said and laughed when Aaron choked on his beer.

“Seriously?”

“No. I’m just messing with you. I think he’s the boss’ nephew or something.”

“Another one for my pro leaving list then. Bad taste in music and nepotism.” Aaron said laughingly and took another swig from his drink.

“Wait. You’re leaving?”

Aaron shrugged.

“Thinking about it. Don’t tell any of that lot in there though.”

“Why? I mean… why are you leaving?” Robert asked, not liking the prospect of not seeing Aaron at work every day.

“I don’t know. This office work… it’s not really my thing. I only applied because I was desperate… and they hired me because they were desperate. That was almost 4 years ago.”

“But you’re good at your job.”

“I suppose so. But I just never planned on staying this long.”

“So why did you then?”

“It pays the bills… And it’s close enough to my flat and my family all live in the area. And it was as far away from my ex as I could get at the time.”

“Bad break up?” Robert asked. “I’ve had my fair share of those. Usually thought my own fault though.”

“More like… awkward? He was my first boyfriend. A little older than me, he helped me come out and be ok with who I am… but we just…”

“Fell out of love?” Robert guessed.

“Sort of.” Aaron nodded.

They sat in silence for a while, just staring at the city lights.

“What else is on your list then?” Robert asked. “It’s close to home and your family, it pays the bills… what else?”

“I actually do have a list. An actual list.” Aaron said and took his wallet out of his pocket and took out a paper napkin. “See for yourself.”

Robert took the paper napkin and unfolded it.

“Leave y/n. Y. Hate this job!!!” He looked at Aaron who laughed.

“I had a bad day when I started the list.”

Robert nodded and kept reading.

“Uncle Cain garage?”

“My uncle owns a garage. I used to work there as a mechanic. Before I moved away.”

“You want to go back there?”

“Not really. But he could maybe help me get a job as a mechanic somewhere around here.”

“Right.” Robert said and turned his attention back to the note. “Boring. So Boring. Clients Suck. Boring. Stupid clients. Gossip. Homophobes. Racists. Boring.”

“I’m not an office guy. And I heard some whispers after I brought my ex to the summer thing.” Aaron explained. “About neither of us looking gay. And some stuff I’m not even going to repeat.”

Robert nodded. He had a pretty good idea what Aaron had heard, and who’d said it.

“Ok, so, let’s move on to your reasons to stay. Close to Liv?”

“My sister. Half-sister. She lives with my step mum near here.”

“Ok. Close to home. Close to Mum. Good Pay. Easy. Nice Co-workers.” Robert read and paused when he saw his own name on the list. Underlined and an exclamation mark next to it. “I’m a reason to stay?”

Aaron bit his lip and looked at his shoes.

“Yeah.” He admitted softly.

“What if I told you I’d really miss you if you left?” Robert asked, waiting for Aaron to look back up.

“That… would definitely make it onto the reasons to stay list.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Aaron said and leaned in for a kiss.

“Wait.” Robert said, putting a hand on Aaron’s chest to stop him and searching his pockets with the other.

“I’m sorry… Did… I read the moment wrong?” Aaron asked, confused.

“Got it!” Robert said and pulled the little plastic branch of mistletoe Leyla had given him earlier out of his pocket. He twirled it around between his fingers. “It’s tradition and all that isn’t it? Best do it properly.”

Aaron smiled and watched Robert lift the plastic plant above their heads.

“Merry Christmas.” Robert said and softly kissed Aaron.

#robron fanfiction #aaron x robert #robron #emmerdale

55 notes · View notes