#serious bullshit

[swinging-from-my-cable]

Required for using the birth center: nine hour largely bullshit or self-researchable birth class. Little of value gained. Also required was an extra hour of things already covered by the nine hour class.

Not required or even offered by the birth center: Infant CPR/SFA. Not even a schedule of upcoming Red Cross trainings.

[littlenastieswewhispered]

“buffy ended the show single :)” ok but only because her current love interest just DIED!! (he near quite literally died in her arms! in sacrifice for her!) her last words of the entire series were telling him she loves him and then saying his name in admiration. she isn’t single; she’s a widow.

[bitchthefuck1]

At the end of the day, they're still just little kids making noise outside his office.

[jess-total-mess]

hadestown really does convince you that maybe it’ll turn out different this time. maybe eurydice wont go. maybe hades will let them go. maybe, just maybe, orpheus wont turn around early.

and then she does go. and hades makes them take a test. and doubt creeps in.

[yourlocalabomination]

Time bastard, You got some place else to be?

[thresholdbb]

what's the threshold theory

There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.

If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

love Superbat dynamic of them having a full on domestic in the middle of a fight against this week’s villain, throwing insults and passive aggressive (and less passive) comments between punches, the vibes are truly awful and even the villain is like “hey, maybe we should take a pause on things and I can try to take over the world next week once you’ve made up”

[disgustingtwitches]

Drug dealer bf 141 but stoner!reader? 👀

MDNI

Yesss, all of them would have very different reactions

Ghost- Doesn't want to be around drugs in general, he doesn't touch his work and definitely doesn't touch weed. It makes him disassociate. He feels less in control of his body and mind, he thinks about things he's pushed down for years. Oh, and he hates the smell too. He'll make you smoke outside in a designated smoking robe that you have to keep in the mudroom. He tolerates being around you when you are high, but really doesn't like when other people are high around him. He also hates it because it gives you cottonmouth and he hates dry head.

Soap- Are you kidding me? This man is buying a zip a week for the both of you. Are Russian creams a thing in the UK? Because if it is he's smoking it. He's got you rolling the fattest blunts in the world and he fucking faces it. Notoriously bad at passing the joint because he'll just hold onto it and talk for forever. He put you onto dabs. He has like an actual rig and everything. You'll both be high watching some show on the couch and he'll turn to look at you with bloodshot eyes and those blue ass irises like ʘ‿ʘ and you'll either be scared or die laughing because of his stupid high face.

Gaz- So he loves science right? He also loves cooking (like, actually cooking with food and stuff). This man makes infused butter and milk and whatever else you want to cook with. He prefers not to smell like it, so he'll make it at a friend's place, but yeah! He finds it hilarious when you look at him all glassy eyed, staring at him like he's the hottest thing this side of the milky way. Showed you how to make a gravity bong because it's the most effective way to get high, it takes a smaller amount of weed to get you really high. Supportive boyfriend yay!

Price- He loves seeing you happy and he loves that he can give you the best weed around. He'll let you help harvest the buds, dry it, trim it, cure it, then smoke it! It's a very rewarding process for him, he loves when you get all giggly and stare at him half lidded with those pretty, pretty eyes of yours. Sometimes his shit is so strong you have to breathe manually, reminding yourself to inhale and exhale. He likes shotgunning smoke back and forth between you two while you sit in his lap, kisses getting sloppier and sloppier until his hand moves up your thighs and you melt in his arms.

[aledethanlast]

Neil, on a talk show: ...and that's how Andrew and I spent my birthday in the ER. Again.

Interviewer, joking: wow, dude, why don't you just marry the guy already?

Neil: [Looking to Andrew] I don't know, what's in it for me?

Andrew: Rich male seeking tax break. You?

Neil: Rich male seeking long distance relationship. Residence?

Andrew: Columbia

Neil: New York

Andrew: Denver, secondary in Columbia

Neil: done. Kids?

Andrew: none

Neil: one

Andrew: two cats and a kevin

Kevin: hey?

Neil: agreed, on condition of revisit after five years

Andrew: done. I call pet care, groceries, car maintenance.

Neil: clean, do laundry, deal with Kevin

Kevin: I am right here

Andrew: I can deal with Kevin fine. Cooking?

Neil: taxes. I'm not going in the kitchen.

Andrew: not unless you want another midnight snack, huh?

Neil: if you have a problem with my sleeping habits say so

Andrew: I have a problem with your sleeping habits

Neil: how would you even know, you're always in Columbia

Andrew: maybe those two things are connected

Neil: maybe we should take a break

Andrew: maybe we should call it quits

Neil: I'm taking the car

Andrew: I'm taking the house

Neil: I'm taking Kevin

Kevin: The hell you are. I came with the cats, I go with the cats

Neil, back to the interviewer: well, can't say we didn't try

Interviewer: [laughing his ass off]

[kookyburrowing]

my hottest trait is that im solely invested in codywan bc of its capacity to allow alpha-17 to yell at obi-wan abt how much violence will be inflicted on his person if cody is harmed in any way.

[water-pokemon-appreciator]

People naturally have blue hair? sounds fake. whats next? people with naturally RED hair???

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Paul/Chani battle couple falling in love while fighting side by side in a guerrilla war for national liberation felt like a gift to me personally for many reasons but mostly because comrades-to-lovers is SUCH a specific vibe and putting Paul Atreides into that dynamic is so so so so funny

[proxythe]

if my close friends decided to prank my sister by pretending her crush wanted to meet her alone while they SECRETLY RECORDED her taking her top off and then she ended up dead because of it ALONG WITH HER TWIN… i don’t think i would just scare them a bit for youtube. i think it would be genuine deaths happening on that mountain in that lodge by my hands. u don’t even need to bring a creature into it lol

real older siblings get it…

[wimbledonstrawberry]

Holger unfollowing Carlos for like 5 minutes and then following him back is the most Holger thing to do

[variksel]

anyway hi guys hannibal never really ever cared about abigail really, he only saw her as a tool to use to manipulate will further ("feeling paternal, will?" "we're her fathers now" being him immideatly catching how will felt about killing abbys dad and the guilt and fear will felt about it and wanting to immideatly capitalize on it) yes he did want to try to get the same murderer insticts to unlock in abby as him but he was never nearly as invested in her as he was in will he never really cared about her beyond being a tool to hurt will (as evidenced as him killing her as soon as will betrayed hannibal) Also in terms of wills relationship to abby the picture he had of abigail and his relationship to her was never based in any kind of reality, not even any kind of potential one. abby never had any kind of relationship to will beyond them both admitting to the other that killing felt good (both cases which were instigated by hannibal btw) and he was never a real figure in her life, always just the unsettling fbi agent that visited her a few times but he was never anywhere near being a real father figure and she never felt a connection to him. also honestly the only reason will had those daydreams about him as abbys dad was because he felt like he adopted hobbs' life and role the second he killed him do you guys see it he adopted hobbs' life when he killed him do you guys see. the three of them never had a chance of being a family and it was all set up by hannibal, it was all a lie and a manipulation Anyway how many aura points did i lose by hannibalposting in 2024

[postpendulum]

Some deformed jumbled mess of whatever this idea is has been rattling around in my adhd riddled brain for weeks now and I'm finally forcing myself to write it down, it is barely fleshed out in the slightest (hence, "deformed") and only the main idea is in my brain right now so I'm basically making it up as I write this so, apologies.

The Fenton parents (for whatever reason) decide that Gotham is the perfect place to spend their summer vacation, and while their there through some

💫Wacky Shananagans💫

Danny ends up meeting (omg your never gonna guess this, it's so out of this world for me, who only has one dpxdc post so far and it's this ship as well, it's so wacky and wild, blow your brains out pew pew pew)

DAMIAN!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥‼‼‼‼💥💥💥💥💀💀💀💀💀:O

What the what!?!?!??!?,! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT????? I AINT MEVER DUN DIS BEFORE!!!!!!!!

Anyway basically they have a summer romance because idk mwa mwa kissy noises gay gay homosexual gay and whathajaga

And then idk I had this that that like, I saw someone say once somethen like "damn tho the most unrealistic thing about this show is that nobody at that damn school thought Danny was hot💀" and I thought like, "damn bitch that true tho." So like idk, I thought like, I'm pretty sure its psychological fact or whatever (this gonna be damn embarrassing if that isnt true tho cuss ona my possible options ideas plans whatever for college is psychology💀) that confidants makes people more attractive, so like, ig like Danny builds confidence over the summer with you know, getting a boyfriend, Damian not taking any of that whatever bullshit idk ahjaobznaja or maybe just ghost aura shit whatever idfk whatever you want.

Basically when he goes home at back to school after summer break is over people suddenly realize "oh shit wait whys he kinda hot tho," and the fuckers like randos, maybe a-listers, whoever's just a buncha people like flirting tryna shoot their shot whatever, but then Danny's just like, thinking about how much he loves his boyfriend and how much he can't wait to see him in person again and what not. I also like to think Danny probably didn't even tell anyone at school he got a boyfriend, like maybe he even forgot to tell Sam and Tucker because he was to busy being fucking lovestruck, I mean I doubt that would actually happening and it's more likely that he'd constantly be gushing to them about Damian rather then not and I actually like that idea a lot better now that I thing about it that other one was more of a funny little side thought idk. But yeah nobody knows besides like Sam Tucker and Jazz, so yeah.

On o think that's it for me I'm done good night y'all *cue mic drop*