#serena was also deeply interesting to me

[typingwithmyhandstied]

On a random note, my favorite dynamic in ADSOM is probably Alucard and Kell or Maxim and Kell or Holland and Kell or Rhy and Kell. Wait, or Lila and Alucard or Rhy and Lila.

[mindibindi]

Sometimes Things Just Work Out

Re-watching season 24 of SVU and some shippy themes emerged post-"Blood Out" that I haven't seen commented on, at least on here. So as we all know, Blood Out (24.12) gives us this telling moment:

The VERY NEXT EPISODE, "Intersection" (24.13) opens with a pretty extended proposal scene for what is just the teaser. The couple is played by two very appealing actors who get to establish their history and exchange cute banter, and there are some definite Bensler undertones:

New York is also Elliot and Olivia's city, bringing them together the first time around to fight crime and reuniting them more recently. Their entire relationship has taken place within the city limits. Without it, Elliot might still be back in Italy (or Queens) with Kathy and Olivia would be a single mom with a solid career and 5-star therapy routine. You might think the comparison is a stretch....UNTIL Josh with the cute topknot turns to his wisecracking gf and says she taught him the most important lesson of his life, which is:

Josh proposes, Emma joyfully accepts. But in the car ride home, there is a touch of sadness to their happy moment as Emma invokes her recently deceased sister. In EO terms, this loss could be said to reflect the shadow of Serena Benson, who never got to watch her daughter marry, settle down and have a family with the love of her life. Emma also worries about losing her engagement ring, which she of course does, when disaster quite literally hits them.

I won't go into the crime, which is horrific, but Emma and Josh's reactions are also reflective of Olivia and Elliot. Olivia meets with Emma a couple of times, noting that they seem to love each other very much and assuring Emma that she and Josh will get through this trauma. At their second meet, they discuss the fact that Josh has ghosted Emma and SVU, which...I dunno about anyone else, but that sounds pretty fucking Elliot Stabler to me. Speaking about the loss of Emma's sister, Olivia fills in the blanks with this:

...which is interesting. It implies that Olivia has used that enormous, unhealed wound of Elliot's departure to dwarf and diminish subsequent traumas and, in particular, her assault at the hands of William Lewis. Much like she used her mother's neglect and ultimate abandonment to shield her from feeling the impact of the many professional and personal wounds she experienced during her tenure as Elliot's partner. By using these deep personal wounds, inflicted by the two people most important to her, most loved and formative, she can shield herself from incoming hurts that are less personal, less predictable and less familiar. If so, if holding onto those familiar, formative wounds acts for Olivia as some kind of strange protection, that simultaneously honours those she loves most, then that would explain her resistance to letting go of the hurt Elliot caused when he walked away. Hence, her not being ready for a relationship after two plus decades.

While Emma refuses to give in to the trauma of her attack, Josh, much like Elliot falls into self-pity and self-blame, distancing himself from his fiance:

This whole ep gives "Paternity" vibes, since the couple are hit in much the same way that Olivia and Kathy were, triggering Elliot's chronic catholic guilt. And as the case continues, there's a whole web of marital affairs, because we're working on a theme here. Another EO parallel emerges with Bruno's marriage breakup. After visiting his ex, it's revealed that he drunk-dialled her, only not really cos he wasn't drunk. You know, kind of like Elliot showing up drugged to Olivia's apartment to spill his long withheld, deeply smitten guts. Bruno knows the fault is his and holds out hope for a reconciliation, to which, Liv gives a qualified maybe:

So...Olivia believes in love when it's new and fresh, even believes love can survive massive trauma. Buuuuut she isn't quite so sure of how to change directions on a love that has been heading in one direction for a long time.

The case concludes with a tense confrontation between a cheating wife and her rapist husband: bitter accusations and droll comments ensue. But the happy couple from the beginning survive their trauma and vow to protect one another from then on. The lost engagement ring is returned to Emma (analogous perhaps to the compass necklace that will no doubt return to Olivia at some meaningful point in time). It is at this point that Liv tells them:

Well. That's quite the pivot.

Oh, but wait, Benson ain't done being hopeful about mending fractured relationships yet. Because then she turns to Bruno, who admits that (like Elliot) he wasn't unfaithful (to Olivia). He was just unreachable, unavailable, avoidant. It wasn't a lack of feeling. It was just a lack of action, a lack of courage. Olivia's reply echoes the hope Bruno expressed earlier:

All of this is highly suggestive of Liv either consciously or unconsciously working through what happened at the end of "Blood Out" with Elliot, her questioning her words to him and mulling over his reply. It reflects EO's recent history of fracture and hesitant attempts at mending, despite their counter-productive coping strategies. That last line certainly suggests that she wants to be won back by the love of her life, even if she isn't too sure how to let go of the hurt she's used as a shield for ten plus years. Her changing comments throughout the episode suggest she does believe in love, she believes it can survive the worst traumas imaginable. She has absolute conviction in the possibility, the right even, of victims, survivors and even detectives she barely knows to pursue love and healing, reconciliation and fulfillment. The question is whether she believes in that possibility as strongly for herself and Elliot Stabler.

[raeflora]

which of blair's love interests do you think she actually loved/was in love with? i know she said multiple times that she loved louis but did she? cause she was so prepared to leave him at the end of season 4 and the only thing they really had in common was a painting😭

hi again!! this is such a good question omg 🫶🏻🫶🏻 so I'm gonna break it down by love interest so it's hopefully easier to read

nate: I think she loved nate in a young way like a first love thing. it wasn't real adult love but she loved the idea of him and being mrs nate archibald but once they got older it obviously didn't work out. I do think she loved him but wasn't necessarily in love with him, but she thought that it was the same thing

chuck: obviously she was deeply and truly in love with him!! I think she realised she loved him in the summer between s1 and s2, and that's why she wants him to say he loves her in 2x01 bc she knows she loves him now. I don't think she fell in love with him instantly like he did with her, rather she realised during the summer that her feelings for him were different than her feelings for nate and she knew it was really being in love. also despite her whole "I'm not in love with you the way you need me to be" nonsense in s5 she clearly was always in love with chuck more than anyone else, and she only said that bc she was so lost in herself

marcus: loved the idea of a title but not him

carter: a l'il fling of no consequence

jack: obviously not

louis: I don't think she truly loved him, as u said she was ready to leave him at the end of s4 and again during s5. I do think she loved him in a similar way to nate in the sense that she loved the idea of him and what he represents, and the sparkly fun of being a princess but she's not in love with him. she tells chuck she doesn't love louis like she loves him, and she tells serena in 5x13 that she's sure she'll grow to love louis so it's clear she was never really in love with him and just loved the fairytale fantasy

dan: she canonically wasn't in love with him. I've talked about this before but she didn't even love him like nate or louis, she just wanted security and nothing serious so she didn't love him in any way at all

[coldblooded-angel]

Another incoming long ask about Challengers! Really digging how this love triangle shows the nuances of all three's needs/wants/jealousies/passions.

Like Art wouldn't feel left out if he knew Patrick and Tashi talked about him while having sex or that they are deeply concerned with him quitting the sport altogether. Art doesn't acknowledge that Patrick pulled the chair closer or visited him before Tashi at Stanford. He doesn't see from our eyes how Tashi might sleep with Patrick but chooses to stay with Art and only threatens to leave Art cuz without their shared love of tennis then the relationship is truly dead (tennis is how they met after all and what made them happy). It's twisted but Patrick and Tashi do care for Art despite the cheating stuff bc Art was always supposed to be included. College Art is surprised Tashi is still dating Patrick, meanwhile Tashi and Patrick are rooting for Art because as much as all three are lovers they were admirers of each other's skills.

With Tashi she has a love/hate with both boys. She loves what they can do for her, loves watching good fucking tennis, enjoys the makeout in the room where she leads them to kiss for her entertainment (also cuz she peeped the boy bestie attraction). She also hates that their drive can't match hers even when she's out for the count while they're still in the game. Can only imagine how big of a star Tashi would've been if not for her injury or even if she was a guy therefore having more chances at playing against Patrick and Art in true competitive form. For Art, losing isn't that big of a deal cuz in the end he still married Tashi despite not winning the initial game for her. For Patrick, losing isn't that big of a deal if it's Art who is his opponent playing for keeps. For Tashi, though, losing is a big tragic deal cuz she was a game changer and now it's probably the racist bitch or others like her that she beat out standing in the spot Tashi should've been in. Tashi loves the innocence of Patrick and Art when it comes to playing tennis in its purest form but hates that they don't see the importance of making this sport as big as Michael Jordan did basketball or Serena Williams for tennis, they are supposed to raise the bar and set a new standard and instead Tashi's boys are having a pity party rather than sticking to the plan Tashi was planting seeds to harvest.

Then we have Patrick who wants to keep both Tashi and Art, but both are separate from him as they chose college and it's the same college both are attending. Patrick teases Art and never says how much he loves Art but he shows in his actions. He coaches Art and that's why he can clash with Tashi who technically replaces coaching Art, which is why they butt heads in the car about "letting Art win" and how to do it. Patrick sees himself, worst and best traits, in Tashi and Art. Tashi is the more competitive side while Art is the fun side. Tashi challenges Patrick, seducing him only for him to seduce her later down the line, again a power struggle that's more like a game for them. Art reminds Patrick of being silly, he can't be mad or frowned up at Art, even when calling out Art actively trying to breakup Tashi and Patrick. To Patrick, Tashi crossed the line of cheating Art out of a win, but Patrick never thinks Art crossed the line by - as Tashi put it - "being a bad friend". Patrick likes when Art is sneaky and playing unfair, he tolerates and gets excited about it.

And it's interesting to me that Tashi and Patrick are so headstrong but rely on Art to be there. Patrick misses playing with Art. Tashi recovered with Art by her side. They know Art can be just as manipulative as them, is not as competitive as them, yet Art is the one living their dreams of playing good tennis since Patrick is broke and Tashi is forever injured. Art never had the heart they did but somehow he is considered the best, but tennis isn't fun if he doesn't have both Tashi and Patrick watching him/playing against him cuz they're the only ones that mattered.

Listen friend idk what else you want me to say except your brain is so big and this take is literally 10/10. You’re so right !!! This is exactly why the throuple works because they all need each other and the couples (for example, Art and Tashi’s marriage) doesn’t work if the third isn’t there. It falls flat because it’s incomplete.

[celltheory]

i know this is a me problem but i cannot get super invested in challengers because i do not care about either of those men at all...josh o'connor used to be so special to me...and now...still cannot articulate why i find men so boring and/or offputting. used to feel like i was ~protesting too much~ iykwim but now...i don't know. the ratio of fandom's investment in men vs. women is so tiring but is def not going to change and there are reasons why that's true that i understand. but i just...ugh.

tennis at its peak to me was serena/caro/angie/maria/vika/venus/etc and all the contrasting and weird dynamics that were SO different from each other. you can add aga in there too. and it was interesting because of the expectations of how they were meant to act vs. how they did. and now i really dislike them both and am disappointed/angry about a lot of their views, but the chrissie/martina rivalry was so INSANE. like that documentary haunts me and the book about them is like...wow. and the men's versions just do not hit the same for me. like roger/rafa is so boring and i think if i had been paying attention during the peak of it, i'd be more interested in it? but it's so...blah. i think maria/serena tensions are insaaane and for so many reasons and i think it's partially understandable, partially a shame that their rivalry and careers get reduced to these very simplistic tropes that i think are deeply unfair to both of them. like people think maria is one thing and she really is not? and flattening her is shit for so many reasons...god. anyway. i don't know what my point is. i know that a WTA movie wouldn't hit the same way as challengers. and i know it's also just not a movie for me. because the whole ot3 never really works. writing the fic for it was like ok. do i care about him being pathetic? and the answer is no!

rafa/novak is actually kind of interesting to me ngl i miss that account....the history was like damn ok! rn i'm def more lenient of caring about ~shit people or i guess being interested. like obviously not the most vile people like zverev is just so horrible to me i cannot. and then there's more opinion based ones like rublev drives me bonkers because the babygirlism of him is disgusting to me and i think...whatever. this isn't my point. this was supposed to be a post about how i wish i could get invested in f1 but i cannot. the pathway of like...nba fandom (a select few, imo most steph/klay which was like...not really for me but now that they're seperated and watched the wnba game sitting apart...well i am interested!) to f1 fandom to the motorsports thing which i do NOT get is so baffling to me.

hockey is like...the one sport i know the most about and have loved for the longest period of time but i just...i am not built to be romantic about sports or like...oh my god these men hugged. wow. what does it MEAN. like i don't get any of it. i've tried reading the articles and the books and i just find it so embarrassing. and boring! and obvious? unless it gets turned into something that i do not really think exists but it sounds smart. i don't know. like team dynamics etc are so interesting to me but i also think they're so segmental. and contextual that i get sooo bored of like...the reading into it. and then i feel bad because people act like you should be murdered if you read into it with women. but i get that because women's sports already has so many existing relationships that it's not as fun to play pretend because it's a lot easier to forget about male athlete's rl partners etc than like...the fact that mpp is marrying laura stacey. like dartmouth's laura stacey. can you believe that? i still cannot tbh. i don't know! i have no point. sometimes i feel like i am hanging onto fandom and i really should not because i feel like such a drag. the new tennis rpf fics has actually been so good because it isn't boring m/m pairings with no tension. SORRY! but like damn...is this growth? idk. i don't even have anything to bring to the table rn...

also back to challengers the only positive emotion i've had about it in a while was comparing that trio to ben affleck/jlo/matt damon. now that is interesting.

it is baffling to me that qinwen/iga has been the pairing that's hit the most out of every wta pairing i've randomly decided to try. aryna/paula does not interest me at all i'm so sorry. the emma/qinwen was v good and i think the edge of it is what i like. too far but not really at all. unless you're like...rpf should be illegal. which i obviously don't feel that way but i def experience a lot of internal shame about it. i miss writing but i think the unfinished twu fic that will never become anything makes me not want to start writing anything that isn't a one shot that taps out by 10k for sure.

[pokenoire]

I mainly wanted to say that your tumblr blog is like a breath of fresh air as someone who saw a lot of the pokemon character shipping wars when I first got into the fandom around 2015. I'm also an amourshipper, it was my first ship and the way I got into fandom, but I genuinely love seeing other ships also get love, multishipping is so fun and just freeing, like why choose when you can just enjoy both!

Also do you had any amourshipping headcanons?

I've been in this fandom on YouTube and on Deviantart since 2007, I thought it was so peaceful compared to the current shipping fights, Of course I was a person who rarely looked at ship comments, since I wasn't interested. I have had contact with many if not multi-shippers, they were respectful and seemed to make fanart of everything (Poke, Advanced, Pearl, Negai...even Amourshipping and Yumeshippers or Canon X OC), I think it helped me to be neutral in that sense...

Oh I just love them so much, I have so many different headcanons I consider them as multi verses (UAs) both what I wrote in 2013-2018 and what I did in this fandom in 2019-2023.

Well, let's take it one step at a time. In 2013, I started watching XY and joined the fandom on Deepy. I watched absolutely everything other than AMVs...uh I looked at FanFiction FF net (I used page translation to read on my first phone) and saw that there were many other different things, I chose some ships to write about... specifically (Amourshipping/Mirroramourshipping) being the main ones from my pre-teen era the second one I chose to write about was, Palleshipping (I thought I had to have a separate account for everything so... I kind of did something like "I was a Palleshipper") which wasn't very cool, but I apologize because I was a kid and didn't know that, I didn't need to go THAT FAR, and could have posted this on my main (2014-2015) I started reading Shinsato, before I saw some things but...it was just hitting some random site lol, I just ignored it. Sapphirepearlshipping IS THE NEXT WHO I CHOOSE WRITE 😭🩷🤎🧡🥰

But reading it all and rewatching it I know I'm neutral to the palettes on screen. I also got to write Gary X Serena lol I just didn't see it happening in the show but it was fun to make this conflict of feelings so you could say it's my fanon (this was probably the beginning of my bi Ash Ketchum headcanon)

When I was younger I didn't know about the things that PokémonRangerboyguy did, but...I remember watching his own videos with Fancyfashionshipping (Dawn X Serena with Lost in you style) so it began + my wlw Serena agenda and Dawn lesbian even more deeply (despite knowing Sana x Serena and Miette X Serena...I was more neutral towards them too and saw them as friends/BFF)

I admit that in my new rewatch... I was more in favor of Serena X Aria imo...

Now, let's go to part 2, wlw SatoSere this is something that I simply, ONLY found out about entering the miraculous fandom, they usually have a VERY strong headcanon wlw ship or mlm ship or male/fem genderswap...male Marinette/ trans Marinette/ transfem Adrien/ fem Adrien Agreste etc. I just took this and did the same for SatoSere (I already wrote Adrien X Marin and Marinette X Adrianne (which helped me to do Amourdreamshipping) crosdessering Ash in fem Ash slash SatoSere...many things I couldn't finish or start in 2016-2017 because at the time I didn't have time (in high school I tried teacher training and it took up all my time 😭🫠 so I deleted all the stories I was working on)

Now, the third part is that I REALLY LIKED MIRRIOR ASH HE SO CUTE AND HOLY SHIT IT TOOK MY MIND ✨⭐ I DID SO MUCH THINGS WITH HIM THAT I CAN'T SAY one blog without becoming bigger than it already is 😭 but one universe in particular is that he is AUTISTIC (before I was diagnosed with autism) so this is my favorite. ❤️🫠

Ok sorry I talk too much...

Male Serena my BELEVOLED I never had a chance to write Male/Boy Serena because I NEVER COULD COME UP WITH A GOOD NAME FOR HIM Ç.Ç

[rahleeyah]

1.0 anon here. You encouraged me to keep checking in with my thoughts as I go.

Just started "Prodigy" (s3e13) and kinda swooned when Benson says "I speak a little Spanish and French. I can Mirandize in three others."

Love me a strong, brave, smart, skilled female lead character who's also got damage and baggage. YES. (Also love that they most likely gave Benson these language skills bc Mariska's got 'em. I hope we get to hear her use them eventually).

And unrelated, but in the previous episode (set in Dec 2001, aired Jan 2002) Cragen mentions "the attacks" in passing and it was kind of stunning that a show about NYPD cops let THAT be the so-far-only treatment of 9/11. I mean, The West Wing interrupted their whole episode flow to air a completely OOC script to allow their characters to process adjacent topics with a bunch of high school students, for a quasi public therapy process...

I know everyone had artistic decisions to make and it wouldn't have worked to make SVU swerve off track and become a terrorism show, but surely (1) SVU detectives would've at least known some of the cops who died in the towers, (2) even if they didn't they'd be traumatized and deeply saddened by all of it, (3) like just about everyone in NYC and the country at that point, they'd be talking and thinking about it??

Maybe this is just the difference between shooting and airing schedules and "the attacks" will have more visibility in coming episodes?

Oh I am very excited about this thank you lol

I find it interesting that while we do hear Liv speak a little Spanish in 1.0 we don't hear her speak Italian until 2.0, and Mariska was fluent in Italian the whole time, having spent time there growing up. But yes!!!! Love that they incorporated that into Olivia's character and I love too the insight it gives maybe not just into Olivia but into her mother; was Serena the one pushing Olivia to learn different languages? Did Serena want her to learn French and Italian, did Serena have books in those languages on the shelves at home, was it important to Serena that her dark haired little fae child be educated, be cultured, be sophisticated? Was Olivia ever enough of those things to make her mother happy?

Iirc the shows don't ever address a personal connection between our mains and 9/11 with the exception of the late reveal that Tucker worked the cleanup and got cancer from it. And personally, I'm kinda glad that they didn't, bc I don't think the show has the skill to handle that topic well. The national conversation about police, and religion, and war and the state, was so deeply, deeply toxic post 9/11 that I shudder to think what a police procedural might have done in that moment in time. Sorkin is a playwright and a man whose work has always had a sharply (white) liberal political bent, and he presented a one hour bottle episode homily that was moving, true, but also deeply informed by his personal beliefs. His audience wasn't lowest common denominator middle America; a lot of middle America hated tww. Some people resent the episode in question, think it's patronizing or over simplifying. L&O was supposed to be for Everyman. Gently teaching middle America about the concept of consent and shyly saying "maybe solitary confinement is bad actually", but even then doing it carefully. Presenting issues as conversations between characters who take up opposing sides, instead of preaching one view point (in 1.0; later when 💡 came on board the show became more preachy). At the time of the attacks SVU didn't have an especially political bent, and given how high tensions were, how emotionally raw the city of New York was, given that everyone involved in making the show lived in NYC (tww was filmed mostly in LA and DC) and how many layers there were to people's feelings.... that's a really delicate line to walk, and the ramifications of doing it badly would be a show killer. Sometimes no response is better than a bad response.

So while I'm interested in the idea of how Liv and Elliot felt as cops working in Manhattan during 9/11, I am glad we don't have Dick Wolf's personal take on it entered in the record, and can instead save this for personal musing, fic, meta and the like. There is a lot to unpack there.

[royal1asset-if]

💖 SPARKLING HEART - are they a subtle or a showy lover? (all ROs!)

Sorry if my reply took so long :)

Me: Allright gang next up on the ask(Looks at paper) are you subtle or a showy lover and addendum in what way you show your love?

Serena: Me, I want to go first(Raising her hand)

Me: Allright( Giving her the signal)

Serena: I'm a showy lover and how I show it?, well I show it better by being a passionate lover, especially in bed( Winking at everyone)

Amelia: Me too am a showy lover and I show it by taking good care of my beloved.(Blushing)

Dustin: I'm a showy lover and to prove it I will always ask my beloved if they are alright or I will always carry them.( Flexing his arms)

Elric: Aye me too am a showy lover, I show it by always making my +1 laugh and giving them surprises.(Pointing his thumb to his chest)

Luna: Me neither of that and I want my partner to be the one doing all of those things( crossing her arms)

Serena: C'mon Looney, you have to loosen up( Chuckling)

Luna: Bite me(Daring Serena)

Serena: Hahaha, don't tempt me Looney( Grinning at Luna)

Luna: Your a lunatic(Shaking her head)

Serena: That's what I'm Looney, madly and deeply in love.( Smirking)

Conrad: Wait hold a moment there's types on how to show one's love?( Surprised)

Me: Yes there is Conrad( As expected of Conrad)

Serena: Yeah Conrad, why you just think saying I love you is enough?( Raising her eyebrow)

Conrad: Well if that's the case, then I think I'm a showy lover also, the way I show it is just giving them gifts and that's it(

Elric: Wow Conrad, I'm a surprised but I think that's not enough, you also need to tell how you love them by writing a love letter to them or reciting a poem, you knows things like that.. (Giving advice)

Conrad: I see, looks like have to do much research on this matter(Putting his hand under his chin)

Me: Well that's it fo-(Someone gripped my hand)

Serena: Not so fast Author, you have to answer the ask too( Grinning at me)

Luna: I agree with Serena on this one( Looking at me with interest)

Me: Now wait a minute( Trying to break from Serena's grip)

Amelia: Please Author, you always ask us questions, just this once pretty please( Giving sad puppy eyes)

Me: Fine, you can let me go now Serena( Looking at Serena)

Serena: Now that's what I like to hear(Letting go of my hand)

Me: I'm both subtle and showy, in what way well subtle by giving surprises and showy by cooking food or taking care of my partner.(Admitting defeat to them)

Elric: Now let's hear some stories of romance stories from the Author( Coaxing the others to back him up)

Me: See ya folks thats all( Cutting off the broadcast)

[smallblueblondie]

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you are genuinely interested in learning and aren't asking in bad faith!

A lot of the links I drew are outlined in the original post, but I'll go over a few more clearly. Keep in mind I'm speaking as a white us-american enby and Black Trans Women or just WOC overall could offer you even stronger and more eloquent insight. I'll use this as an opportunity to add onto my original post and add some insight some of the reblogs gave me!

1) Womanhood defined by Beauty. Radfems and Terfs often define what makes a woman a "real woman" by what she looks like, either at a first glance or deeper down. I unfortunately don't have the screenshot myself but there's been many terfs listing how to "clock" trans women using phrenology and beauty standards. The idea that big noses, dark skin, large hands, thick body hair, are all masculine and "ugly" features so therefore if a woman has those, she mus be secretly trans. A lot of the features they list line up with features common in women of color (specifically black women are often targeted), intersex women, and just women who don't naturally look like pretty pale porcelain dolls.

2) Victims of transvestigation. Most often I see this in the infamous trans in sports debate where terfs will try and accuse athletes who are "too good" at being trans women (which in itself is also misogyny, why are women these frail helpless flowers in their minds?), and often they demand Testosterone testing be done and that these women "prove" they're real women. More often than not they're accusing black and latina women of being trans because they don't fit the beauty standard or perform "better" than what they think a real (white) woman could do. Serena Williams is one I see often accused of being a "man with a mans body and a mans face and man hips and man man man" but there's tons of CIS black female athletes accused of maleness because of their blackness.

3) Denying Black Femininity. Black women are often accused of being men and masculine regardless of it's by terfs or conservatives as an exercise of racism. They're told they're "hulking, too strong, manish, ugly." They're denied their right to be feminine because the beauty standard is skinny hairless white women. Another example is the countless conservatives who accused Michelle Obama of being secretly a man out of nothing but her blackness. Terfs often see this and mimic it, because

4) They learn from their friends. Notoriously radfems have no issue rubbing elbows with Nazi's, white power groups, violent xenophobes, and other deeply racists folks in exchange for their agreeing to further target trans people as well as people of color. Even if a terf isn't outwardly racist, they don't see racism as a real problem. Only misogyny is the real oppression, and racism is a frivolous afterthought at best. Most notably is UK based terfs working with their conservative party to further both racist and transphobic movements. Terfs have no problem siding with neo-nazis as long as they can burn trans people alongside people of color.

5) The roots of radical feminism itself are based in bioessentialism and gender essentialism based on white, European, colonialist ideas of gender. Female and Male only. Women are pathetic and weak and helpless and can only cook clean and birth babies, they're too fragile and mousy for anything else. Men are uncontrollable beasts, slaves to their libido and hormones who have no emotion besides horny or angry, and they do all the "real work" for the world. But terfs tack on "girl power" to all that without removing any of the gender roles, any of the sexism, any of the white european gender roles of it all. Many nonwhite cultures have historically had more than one gender, room for trans folks, gender roles completely different from female baby machine and male labor machine. They insist these white european colonial gender roles are biological facts and every other (nonwhite) culture's view on gender is deranged transgender fakeness. Or that trans people are the real racists for having nonwhite gender ideas.

These are the main points I have seen myself and the main ways terfs/radfems uphold, empower, and further white supremacy through their ideology. If anyone has more feel free to add on, I'm personally muting notifications on this post for my own sanity because despite having a lot to say, I dislike conflict strongly. And with tumblr smacking anyone speaking out against transphobia or terfism with the ban hammer, I was a little nervous about this post suddenly gaining so much traction again.

Please never stop ignoring that white supremacy is a huge core element of radfem/terf ideology.

Like yes they hyperenforce gender roles and stereotypes on all cis women, but it is primarily women of color that they target and accuse of being predatory and "not real women" when they're targeting cis women.

The metrics of "real woman vs trans woman" that terfs love to share are almost all just white eurocentric beauty standards. Small nose, thin fine hair, little/no body hair, petite but somehow curvy, hell I've even seen a post saying skin lightness is a determiner.

Terf/radfem circles are racist at their core. You cannot separate radical feminism from it's violently white supremacist roots. You can't have "anti-racist radical feminism", that's a fucking oxymoron. There is a very clean path from terfs to tradfems/tradwifes, to just straight up conservative republican women.

Yes yes always, terfs are super misogynistic. They hurt all women by forcing them back into the little impossible painful boxes that they claim they're fighting. But one of their biggest targets other than trans women is black women. Not to mention ignoring, discrediting, or just straight up trying to erase all the hard work that black trans women did for queer rights.

Radical feminism is very much transphobic, homophobic, and misogynistic. I'm not saying stop addressing it as such. Don't ever do addressing it as such!

But racial feminism is white supremacy in a coat of pink paint. Please never forget that when talking about how it hurts us all.

[zeroar]

So I watched this video...

And the essayist suggests a major part of it is due to the fairly positive representation of a queer couple in Sailor Moon in the form of Sailors Uranus and Neptune. (That's only part of it, very good video, I just want to write out my thoughts in a word-vomit style while drinking some coffee so here we are)...

I think it's a little more than that though. Now, I'm fond of being overly reductive sometimes and saying something like "Sailor Moon made me gay" (and I'm using "gay" in its umbrella queer sense here).

But, whether someone can be turned gay aside (which, for the record, I come down somewhere around they basically can't unless they're bisexual), it wasn't the positive representation of Uranus and Neptune that did it. It was Season 1 of Sailor Moon.

It wasn't just a positive queer relationship in whatever season Uranus and Neptune came in (they were portrayed as cousins so until I went to the Internet to learn the truth there was nothing there for me even ignoring it was a later season), and it wasn't even the bisexual wonder girl that is Usagi/Serena who freely adored and went lovestruck over competent and beautiful women. With Mamoru/Darien kidnapped/brainwashed for half the first season anyway (and also inexplicably much older than he was in the manga), the relationship between her and Rei was so much more interesting and one where the characters could actually speak to each other, but it wasn't even thinking that Serena should be with Raye...

Aside: if you don't think Usagi is bi then I don't know what to tell you. Yes, Mamoru is her true love or whatever, but the girl's main characteristic is how freely and deeply she loves. She was interested in Sailor V way before she was interested in Tuxedo Kamen / Tuxedo Mask. (I'm half-joking because there's no explicit canonization of Usagi being bi—AFAIK—but I really cannot imagine her being any other way. I just see her as a bi girl in a heterosexual relationship).

Even beyond all that, the series Sailor Moon was possibly the first series I saw which treated women/girls as people and portrayed women favorably, let alone portrayed queer relationships and queer characters favorably (which was not done in the original American edit of the first season).

The women of Sailor Moon could be boy-crazy and ditzy, but they could also be heroic and self-sacrificing, studious, strong, smart, cool, collected... and yes, they were all beautiful. Even Zoisite—who I only later found out was a man—was gorgeous.

Sailor Moon loves women, and there's not much gayer than loving women.

Specifically, in the society of toxic masculinity / hegemonic masculinity / "the patriarchy", valuing women as people goes directly against how women get portrayed. It's not that valuing women is inherently anti-cishet, it's that the concept of being cis and heterosexual itself has gotten wrapped up in the toxicity so anything that rejects that norm is gay.

I'm not saying anything new here, though academic sources tend to default to "queer" instead of "gay", so I'll switch to that umbrella term now.

Valuing women as people is queer in the same way that the Addams Family is queer. Morticia and Gomez's relationship is a queer relationship in that it is a rejection of the patriarchy and a rejection of the cishet norms of hating your spouse and treating them as a burden you're saddled with.

There's a common sentiment in analyzing cishet men's relationships with women of saying something along the lines of, "do straight guys even like women? You guys can be gay. You don't have to pursue women romantically if you don't like them" and beyond what individual cis and heterosexual men may think about women, it is 100% true that the patriarchy and hegemonic masculinity don't like women.

At least part of the fear of "AI" is that hegemonic masculinity would lead to a conclusion of rejecting women in favor of love-bots. This only makes sense if the people doing the rejecting don't actually like women and just see them as objects, but that's what hegemonic masculinity teaches.

So yes, whether you're a cis man or something else entirely, loving women is queer. And Sailor Moon loves women.

It probably doesn't stand up to modern sensibilities, but my pre-teen mind only ever saw how incredible it was to be a bishoujo senshi when I was watching. The "camera" definitely highlighted how beautiful the women were (especially in their transformation scenes) but it only ever felt glorifying and exultant, and it did not feel exploitative or creepy.

With the exception of comic characters (Melvin/Umino, Chad/Yuichiro, Rei's grandfather, etc.), ALL of the characters were slender and long-limbed. That came off as simply the style of the show and not something about sexualizing the characters. Loads of issues with the lack of body diversity, but it was always so firmly celebrating these characters (who were all women/girls).

And, loving women is queer.

I honestly don't know how I would have turned out without having Sailor Moon in my life. Especially, so many incredible fanfiction stories that were even better than the series (though loads of exploitative and misogynistic ones too, which was always such a shock to stumble across).

Growing up in the 1990s, I was in social settings where the default was to be openly derisive and misogynistic towards women. (It's probably still broadly that way, I just am able to curate who I'm around now in a way you can't growing up). But having the example of positive women character representations (and also seeing how pretty people can be, both inside and out) was such a solace to child-Me. I'm grateful for having that representation even if it wasn't the queer representation I needed, it was the positive women representation I was desperate for back then.

Anyway, as much as I love the idea of Rei/Usagi, my favorite stories kept Usagi with Mamoru and had Rei with Minako. I get that Minako gets characterized as a Usagi clone/replacement (which is ironic), so it may seem that I'm just filling in, but in-text, Usagi and Mamoru are basically always together / in love with each other romantically and I never really questioned that so seeing so many incredible Reinako stories made that couple pretty solid in my head. I'm honestly not opposed to Usagi being in a poly relationship, but those fanfiction stories tended to be more lemons than character exploration.

TL;DR: Why are magical girls so gay? Because they portray women positively and that's extremely, extremely gay (in the sense that it is aligned against hegemonic masculinity and the patriarchy).

[andydreamzzzz]

My first and only ever post on Lindsey Way

I believe in second chances, and I think that for public figures, second chances lie in the celebrity’s real attempt to evolve and become better people. In this life, we will make mistakes, we will be too angry and say the wrong thing, we will bully others and have blind spots for people we love. None of us will be perfect, and the pain we feel from our own faults and failures as people trying to grow and be better is not fun or easy. So I can imagine how much of it is multiplied, to what I’m sure is an incomprehensible degree, when fame and mental illnesses are involved.

The ‘Lindsey issue’ feels dark, because it is. It’s not a matter of.. Wow, misogyny is being used against her. It’s more like being able to notice distinctive patterns of lies and strange behavior enough to be deeply concerned by them. There is so much crap in Lindsey’s past that is questionable: her troubling beef with fans (I means, she was fighting with children lol), an inability to keep friendships, the plagiarism accusations and so on that speak loudly of her character. But I’m surprised that more people don’t bring up the post she made about being ‘cursed’ by Luscious Jackson or @luscioiusjckson on twitter, more often. It is the one post which convinced me personally that the lens through which she views the world is fucked.

In it, she complains about the envy she feels for her husband’s fame. She victimizes herself, as she often does, by creating the narrative that this is her fault. Her fault for being an evil, greedy fan and so now her punishment is to be hounded by evil, greedy fans who will only show up for her husband instead of her brilliance.  Her gift is to be brilliant, but her curse is to be erased by a faceless mob who used to be like her. It’s a great story to be honest, it sounds like a fairytale. A Beauty and the Beast like lesson of yearlong curses, the evils of arrogance and the sacrifices we make for love.

But alas, that’s not really what’s happening here, instead the protagonist is envious, and wishes for a ‘cleaner’ fame to satisfy her envy.  Can you imagine Gerard seeing that, and Lindsey being like: it’s not about YOU, it’s about the fans. Sure.. they’re YOUR fans, BUT they’re the ones who hate me, and want to ruin me. Why must you, my love, be so famous?

How could Gerard feel? …How are her words not to be taken in any other way than manipulative and mean spirited?  It’s not a plea for independence, it’s a declaration of resentment wrapped in a martyrdom costume (Bloom anyways? Anyone?) Do you want an example of two powerful partners who support each other without envy? Search interviews of Serena Williams and her husband Alexis Ohanian (who is the founder of Reddit.) It’s not only possible, but NORMAL to love the success of your partner and to feel inspired by them.

So yes, I believe in second chances.. and a part of me does hope she meets her potential as an artist and as a person with the capability to inspire. However, I also know that giving into envy is a seedless endeavor and even though it happened a few years ago, the fact that she felt righteous in posting such a senseless rattle the same month the band broke up is...insane. I’ll be interested in seeing her upcoming art exhibit even though her last Instagram post is already about victimhood. She’s been such a consistent victim that I don’t know if she’ll gain the sudden sense of self-awareness needed to see past her own needs and be better person.

Her full post:

[evenstarfalls]

Like all things with this series, it's...complicated.

Serena Clarke is unique (among the main characters, at least) in just how miserable her powers make her. I mean, all of the EOs are pretty miserable. But with Serena, it's her power itself that makes her so miserable: the world no longer engages with her, but simply gives up. She can't actually have relationships or connections with people, because they no longer act like people with her. We don't have a whole lot of context for Serena before she died, but what we do get definitely suggests that she was a force of will. "Serena had always been strong, always ready to fight for something she wanted." she had friends and persued guys. I'd infer she was very extroverted and type-A. Pretty much exactly the type of person that just floating through life, unable to actively engage with others, would be hell for. No wonder she grew to hate herself. A big part of what brings the EOs back, what makes them different is their will, and the strength of that was waht fueled her more than anything else. Victor and Eli were the ones that cracked the code to becoming EOs, but Serena is the truest manifestation of what it is to be an EO: to have the strength to bend the world itself to your will. And so it's that power itself that's her undoing, that fucks her up so badly.

But of course, she's still a terrible person. What makes Villains interesting is how ubiquitous villainy is, and even if she's not the worst—pretty much everyone has higher kill counts—she's one of the most frightening and most disturbing. Mind control is one of the most fucked up powers in general. Controlling people, robbing them of their consent, forcing them to do things...it's deeply disturbing. And she's a victim of her powers, too! She wants to escape them, she might get rid of them entirely if she had the wherewithal. But it's still upsetting, and it goes back to her. And she definitely participates in the violence of the series and uses them to hurt people. She intentionally chose to use them to hurt Sydeny and Eli. Eli did try to kill her. That was definitely a thing that happened. He's horrible too , which goes back to this being a series about people committing acts of violence against each other. But Serena forcing him to be with her is a whole seven-layer dip of fucked up and awful. Not to mention Sydney, who was a) a child, b) her sister, c) a rare innocent in this mess (at the time) and d) he sister yeah like her fucking baby sister can you tell i'm not over it. And yes, she didn't end up killing her little sister (the bar is on the FLOOR guys) but the fact that she had every intention of doing so is so deeply screwed up. Which also goes to show how badly her thinking had been poisoned, by the combination of Eli and her powers that she so frequently loathed.

I do dislike her—strongly, albeit far less so than when I started writing this. She's deeply fucked up in a way that's particularly uncomfortable to me, and honestly yeah. A lot of it is personal preference and favoritism which, they're fictional characters. I'll feel how I want. But she's SUCH an interesting character, and she says a lot about the story and world as a whole. And I love that for her.

TLDR: god she's fucked up

how does everyone actually feel about Serena Clarke?

[the-sympathetic-villain]

Lullaby of Woe

AO3

Angst Prompt - "Of all the times to tell me, why now?" - Any pairing From @crazydemigod666 on Tumblr

@crazydemigod666 Psst you sent this ask to my main but I don’t really post my writing there, so I’m posting it here. Hope you don’t mind ;) Also, though very different in tone, this actually reminded me of your own Jolly Sailor Bold as I was writing it in a lot of ways lol so I hope you enjoy!

---

Description: Feeling unwanted, Patton climbs up to the deck of their ship to get some fresh air when the voice of a siren comes calling.

Also, there's a song in this one. I modified the lyrics, but the song is "Lullaby of Woe" - Ashley Serena and you can listen to it here if you'd like.

Word Count: 2104

Pairings: Logicality

Characters: Patton, Logan

Warnings: Major Character Death (Ambiguous, honestly its entirely up to how you interpret it), Angst with an ambiguous ending, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of neglect, Mentions of cheating, Past toxic relationship, Mentions of food insecurity, Touch starvation, Hypnosis-like trance, Brief Suicidal ideation, Crying, (Let me know if I need to add anything!)

---

    Patton had a problem.

    The crew hadn't been able to look him in the eye for over a fortnight, even though he could feel the pity in his stares as he milled about the deck without purpose. At any other point in his life, he would have been deeply ashamed, but he was nearly too tired to care now. The captain had notified him that his rations had been cut. He'd been told it was a temporary measure, but Patton knew better. The captain was starving him off the ship.

    The wind nipped at his arms as Patton nimbly topped the ladder to the upper deck. Moonlight pooled on the polished wood, lighting his way as he strode through the darkness. He moved confidently, though he felt himself nearly stumbling and losing his footing with the sharp rocking of the ship. The weakness was getting to him. He knew he shouldn’t be up in the open air as the boat rocked in the wind. One swift wind could blow him overboard and he'd be gone forever, but he couldn’t bear another minute of listening to the crew's whispers.

    His heart was broken enough already. He'd thought the captain loved him. When they met, Patton’s body and soul had felt like fire. In a flurry of passion, Patton had dropped his comfortable life to follow the man he'd loved across the sea and it had been the thrilling journey of his life. Flowing from adventure to adventure, the pure excitement and adrenaline had lit up his world and blinded him to the fire that had begun to eat him up inside.

    Only now, as Patton staggered to the bow of ship, did he realize how much he'd withered away to make way for the man who claimer to love him. Mere embers of the previous flame remained in Patton’s heart as the captain drifted into the arms of new lovers, his loyalty already fickle and fading before Patton was even gone.

    Patton sucked in a sob as he lurched forward, nearly tumbling over the ship's railing as a sudden wave jarred the ship. His white knuckles gripped the wood on instinct as he sunk to his knees. A soundless cry escaped him as he collapsed to the floor and tears flowed freely down his face in silent grief.

    The pain in his chest was nearly unbearable as Patton lost himself staring into the black water of the sea below, mesmerized by the swirling vortexes as he desperately pushed away darker thoughts. He had no idea how long he sat there, silently sobbing as the moon moved across the sky, but it seemed like only moments before an unnerving melody floated through the air.

    Fishes asleep among the weeds,

    Patton’s head shot up at the sound the unfamiliar voice echoing eerily across the open deck. His knees curled to his chest as his eyes darted through the darkness, searching for the source of the voice.

    Waves all a swaying in the breeze,

    “Who’s there?”

    Patton shivered as he raised his head to get a better view of the deck below. Unable to spot anyone, he cautiously reached up to the railing to pull himself upright and listen to the voice continue.

    But one soul lies anxious, wide awake,

    Fearing no manner of ghouls nor wraiths.

    Patton jumped, spinning on his toes as the last line finished directly behind his ear. His shoulders spun clumsily as he stumbled away from the bow of the ship, landing on the ground with a thud as he turned to stare at the beast balancing on the bowsprit of the ship.

    The creature stood on two feet and Patton could nearly have mistaken him for a man a man, if not for the pallid color of his skin and haunting blue glow of his eyes. The specter glided forward with an unearthly grace, balancing on the narrow bow of the ship as it rocked chaotically in the wind.

    “Do not scream.” The man purred as he dropped silently on the deck. “Lest you condemn the rest of your friends to share your fate.”

    A grimace curled on Patton’s lips at the statement and he resigned himself to quietly edging closer the railing behind him.

    “Oh, not friends then.”

    The beast cooed under his breath as he leaned forward to loom over Patton.  Adrenaline rushed through his veins as the creature slowly kneeled in front of him and raised a hand to his face. Patton flinched as cold fingers brushed along his jaw and guided his chin up until he was staring into the ice-cold eyes of the man above him.

    “Relax.”

    Patton felt the tension in his body disappear as the dulcet tones of the man's voice lulled him into complacency. His vision blurred as he tried to stay focused on the man’s face, but as he was pulled to his feet, only one thought rang out in his mind.

    He's…pretty.

    The beast's calming voice continued to fill the air with a lilting melody as he smiled crowded Patton against the railing.

    Don’t dare let him tremble,

    For the witcher, heartless and cold,

    Paid in coin of gold,

    He comes and goes and he'll leave not behind,

    Subtle chills tingled across Patton’s skin at the man's power. He knew fear should be gripping his heart, but he couldn’t help but his starstruck smile as the man lips curled into a sharp-toothed grin.

    but heartache and woe,

    Deep, deep woe.

    Patton’s breath caught in his throat as his waist caught the railing. His balance wavered as the momentum nearly sent him tumbling into the dark water below, but an iron grip caught his collar.

    Deep, deep woe.

    The man’s deep voice resonated against Patton’s chest and he finished its last note, drawing Patton’s attention back to his mesmerizing eyes.

    “Are you afraid?”

    Patton sucked on his lip as he stared into the icy look of the man’s eyes. His heart slowed as the air shifted blinked his shock up at the man in front of him.

    “Please, I'll do anythi—”

    “Young one, be at peace. Fearing me is a waste of your energy.”

    A raspy breath escaped Patton’s parted lips as the beast's hand passed over his jaw to curl around the back of his neck. Instinctively, he started to flinch away, but the monster caught him.

    “Why do you allow yourself to wither, human?”

    Patton sucked on his lip as his skin tingled like wildfire from the man’s icy touch. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but it'd been a long time since he'd been touched with such gentleness. The sense of danger radiating off the man in front of him should have made him quiver with fear, but instead he felt himself leaning into the unfamiliar comfort with a quiet sob.

    “Hush now. You no longer need to suffer.”

    Scaled fingers slipped through Patton’s hair as the pale beast comforted him. The walls which he’d built around his heart came crashing down and his feelings escaped him in a subdued mourning.

    “That’s all you really wanted. Isn’t it? To be needed?”

    Patton’s grip tightened on the man's flowing silk shirt as a soft whisper escaped him. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

    “I've been watching you since your ship left the port nearly a full moon ago. The effort you extend to for the benefit of the others aboard this vessel is nothing less than commendable.” The beast’s breath passed through Patton’s hair like a soft wind as his fingertips brushed Patton’s cheek. “You are not simply a weight to the man who scorns your love.”

    The man’s soothing voice resonated from his chest as Patton timidly tipped his head up to him.

    “W-who are you?”

    “My name is of no consequence,” The man’s whispered, though he seemed to immediately correct himself as he noted Patton’s disappointment. “Though you may call me Logan, if your heart desires.”

    “Logan—” Patton breathed as he lifted his head. “—you've been watching me?”

    “With deep interest, my dearest. You are too delectable to be wasted on someone who does not appreciate you.” Logan’s sharp-toothed grin grew wider as his thumb brushed Patton’s cheek. “Your scent is absolutely dizzying.”

    “T-that can't be true.”

    “Oh?” The siren's pale fingers trailed down Patton’s jaw, letting out a melodic chuckle as Patton sighed at the touch. “And why is that, my lovely?”

    Patton’s face twisted in disgust and he started to pull away. “I'm—I'm not—”

    Logan’s hands caught Patton’s waist, eliciting a gasp as he effortlessly lifted Patton and placed him on the railing of the rocking ship. He moved forward, standing between  Patton’s legs as his piercing, blue eyes locked onto Patton.

    “Not what, darling?”

    “N-not special.” Patton whispered quietly, suddenly entranced by the mesmerizing glimmer in Logan’s eyes.

    “It truly is a crime that any man was able to convince you of that.”

    Patton blinked in disbelief as the siren curled a finger under his chin, lifting his gaze. “What?”

    “Your soul leaves a sweet scent in the air that only a fool would neglect to savor.” Logan whispered, sending pleasant chills down Patton’s spine as his other hand slipped around Patton’s waist. “My dearest, you are a gift to this world that has kept my eye for thrice the time it's taken for the dark moon to turn bright in the sky.”

    “If—If you've been watching me—” Patton started after a moment of silence, shaking as he reached up to grip Logan’s wrist. “Then, of all times to tell me, why now?”

    The siren was silent as his piercing eyes bore into Patton, sending a heated wave of adrenaline through him as another wave crashed against the side of the ship. Logan’s grip tightened on Patton’s waist as sea's mist filled the air.

    “I think you know why I have approached you.”

    “Y-you're a siren.” Patton whispered as he nervously clung to the railing.

    “Come away with me, darling.”

    “They—” Patton swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned his head away from the dangerous look in Logan’s eyes. “The sailors say that those who are taken away by sirens are never heard from again.”

    Logan remained quiet for a moment before raising a hand to wipe the tears from Patton’s cheek. “You will not be missed by the men on this ship.”

    Patton sucked in a breath as though he'd been struck in the stomach. “I—I know, but—”

    “Hush, now. Do not be afraid.” Logan whispered as tears brimmed in Patton’s eyes. “Do you have loved ones on the land?”

    “No,” Patton breathed as an emptiness filled his chest. “I am alone.”

    “Then what do you live for, dearest?”

    Patton started to shake as tears streamed down his face. “I—I don’t know anymore.”

    “Then tell me, my love.” Logan whispered as he curled a finger around Patton’s chin to lift his head up. “What risk is there in leaving with me?”

    “I'm not ready to die."

    Logan's sharp teeth glistened in the moonlight as he leaned into Patton’s ear. “Who said anything about dying?”

    Patton blinked, still in disbelief as he sputtered out a response. “Are you going to hurt me?”

    “Will you take the risk to find out?”

    Patton sucked in a breath as he stared into Logan’s blue eyes. His heart pounded in his chest as he balanced on the railing of the ship, teetering above the dark waters above.

    “O-okay.”

    Logan leaned in closer with a knowing grin. “You have to tell me what you want, love.”

    “Take me away, p-please.”

    Logan's unearthly grin widened as Patton curled into his chest. “As you wish, darling.”

    A hum started deep in Logan's chest, soothing Patton’s uneven breathing as he continued his song.

      The waves are silent for the night,

      All matter turned in as daylight dies,

      But one soul lies anxious wide awake,

      My dear darling Patton, shut your eyes,

      Lie still, lie silent, utter no cries.

    The world around Patton seemed became blurry as the siren’s song lulled him into a deep trance. His skin tingled with a pleasant vibration as the soft sound of Logan’s voice filled his ears. Deep in a stupor, he barely noticed as they dropped into the dark waters below. The moonlight faded as they disappeared beneath the surface, but Logan’s voice still echoed beautifully in his mind.

    Beware of the man who covets your soul,

    He'll chop you and slice you,

    Cut and he'll dice you,

    Eat you up whole,

    Eat you whole,

    All while he sings to you,

    he lullaby of deep, deep woe.

---

General Taglist:

@justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowyplaidpurseegg

[cataschism]

general rambling about muses in bnha verses and stuff

i wanna write some of my muses (the shogunate, michel, & wendel namely) in bnha verses ‘cuz of course. i’m me. it won’t so much be a pain of writing their quirks because i’m good at that. obviously. ‘cuz i’m me x2 but writing how i want their characters to be in diff verses like that is gonna be hard fr. 

like for example wendel. i don’t have an oc thing for him yet but he takes place in zakkari and i’s zombie universe, he used to be a part of the military at a quarantined checkpoint area, but got locked outside trying to defeat a horde and prevent it from coming in. after getting locked outside, he starts to lose his marbles, thinking bug and animal bites are infected bites, believing himself to be an infected despite not losing his muscle memory, his aim, or his mind (to an extent). putting this in a bnha setting is pretty difficult, because it’s in his character background and theme to believe he’s the ‘enemy.’ for a kny verse, he’d believe he was a demon, in a zombie verse, he’s a zombie, etc. for bnha, it’s harder to think that. he could think he was a villain, without actually doing any villainy stuff. because in his canon, wendel never bites anyone. never feels the urge to. barely eats, barely drinks water, because he thinks he’s dead. he’d probably try putting himself in some kind of prison because he’s a villain, perhaps getting turned away because obviously he’s not, just pretty mentally ill and very deeply believing in his delusions. in a world like bnha, it’s unlikely (not impossible) that he’d get help for his delusions, so it’d be kinda interesting to test him out as a villain-vigilante mix, more of just a mentally sick guy who thinks he’s evil, but idk what his quirk would be. perhaps sharpshooting, because he was one of the best.

for people like the shogunate, because in genshin i’m roleplaying the puppet that ei used while she was in euthymia, not herself. or her sister. in order to keep true to her character, she very pointedly has to not be an original person, but instead more of like a weapon of the current sovereign. do i make this like, a mewtwo situation where i have her be biologically developed in a lab, made to have a quirk and be strong without a real personality or home to call her own, or is she a clone? i think the shogunate is interesting because she knows she’s not the original, merely the strings to keep inazuma moving. but it’s interesting! i think, even in a bnha verse, she’d still be called ‘the shogunate.’ or ‘the raiden shogun’ and that’d be her pro hero name, and she wouldn’t have anything underneath. ppl’d be like sb: oh what’s your name? shogunate: i’m the shogunate. sb: no like, your real name. shogunate: the raiden shogun. sb: no like... shogunate: i am the shogunate. sb, sweating: ok also obviously her quirk would be lightning related. or very maki from jjk themed, maybe it’s just her sword that has the power. i think it’d be banging if she was the sword, and the person is her quirk. making people, that is. actually, that’s banger. maybe i’ll do that

as for michel, i think it’d be interesting if he had a very charmspeak like quirk. like just got people to really like him. sorta like serena clarke from vicious, who straight up mind controlled people. her power was fairly limitless, so it doesn’t seem fun, but. something to think about. michel’s such a little freak though maybe he should be quirkless just to add onto it

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

Your recent meta on Dan’s flaws is super interesting and well written!!! I did want to pick on one specific point though - I would argue Dan’s warning to Jenny in 1x05 not to let the UES “corrupt” her and then later buddying up with Chuck in 2x05 is less an act of hypocrisy, and more so a reflection of the extent to which Dan himself had been “corrupted” by the UES since that exchange occurred. At the point in time in season 1 that that conversation between Dan and Jenny originally happened, Dan was absolutely still practicing what he preached regarding the UES - given that just a couple episodes before he outright rejected Serena, his supposed dream girl, out of a desire not to get too entangled in the more sordid aspects of “her world”. I genuinely think that if Dan had been in the same situation in early season 1 as he was put in in 2x05, he never would have come around to shadowing Chuck in the first place - he was still way too idealistic. It’s only after spending time among the Upper East Siders that I think his… overton window, if that’s the right term, for acceptable moral behavior begins to shift.

Even before the Georgina stuff, I would argue that as early as 1x12, Dan had started to get used to compromising his integrity just a bit to get what he wanted/for the people he loved. You could tell that Dan was deeply uncomfortable with the way the whole pool party incident was being handled and genuinely did seem to be on the verge of confessing, but finding out it was Serena’s doing ultimately shut him up and, I think, kind of normalized what happened - at least in his own mind. It was just a small thing, but I think this is the point - towards the back half of the first season - when Dan’s whole perception of what is “acceptable” starts to shift (which culminates that season in him outing Asher and eventually teaming up with Blair to scheme against Georgina). I think most telling is the fact that, come season 2, while Dan initially objects to Jenny’s “guerrilla fashion show” and does worry about her choices and safety, he also seems to sort of respect the fact that she did it in the immediate aftermath - which then inspires him to take another swing at cashing out on Chuck’s personal drama for literary success in 2x10. Had it been early season 1, Dan would have been outraged with little room for anything else, but by this point in the show, Dan seems to find it kind of impressive in spite of his initial disapproval.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the meta overall, and I hope this doesn’t come across as too nitpicky - I just genuinely find it fascinating the way Dan changes across the seasons!!! I know season 2 Dan isn’t exactly a fan favorite, but it was an important step in his character development and honestly, just a really interesting time in his life - no longer a wide-eyed idealist like he was in early/mid season 1, but not yet confident and self-possessed like he becomes in season 3.

oooh, this definitely doesn't come across as nitpicky at ALL. i hadn't thought of it this way, but what you're saying makes a LOT of sense, esp re: the gradual evolution of dan's character to the extent that 1x05 dan and 2x05 dan can't really be compared in that way - i think that's an incredibly valid point.

i don't really have much to say except that i definitely get where you're coming from with this! and i now have much to think about. this is genuinely so fascinating to me!

[gossipgirls]

Hi, I’m not sure if I make complete sense, but I always felt that B and S were similar that they used the labels ( Queen B and It Girl “) their world gave to them to hide from their insecurities. Also, who do you think truly knew the real Serena past the “sunshine Barbie” facade? I would say Blair and Eric

blair (she also fell for it at times - she’s the one we got the name “sunshine barbie” from after all - but that was due to her jealousy rather than because she didn’t see serena as a compelx person lol) and eric for sure!

carter baizen is the big one here; this is the basis on which anybody who ships them ships them. i think nate really did see through it all, definitely saw her at her very worst and loved her anyway and tried to break through, but she kept him at a bit of a distance.

and kind of an oddball answer but... chuck. in a twisted way (because when is chuck not twisted). in the first 2 seasons we saw a chuck that was deeply interested in just about every character’s dark side. he LOVED to see people be bad, A) because he felt that was what authenticity was (everyone knew how frivolous and fake their world was, but he always seemed much less willing than his peers to play that particular game, perhaps because his family was the only one that was New Money lol), and B) because it made him feel less alone in his own badness. i wish i could find it, but i read something once that suggested the reason chuck pushed her so much is because before she left, they were a kind of companion to one another; they both drank and did drugs and hooked up with strangers. nate and blair were all tame and prim, chuck and serena were the wild ones. he might have taken comfort in the fact that someone else was in the same boat (i think she took comfort in this too). but then she comes back and suddenly she’s “better” and he feels left behind, perhaps even betrayed, and he very much wants bad serena back. this is, of course, much more selfish than the characters listed above lol and he was almost TOO aware of her complexity and capacity for darkness. but i do feel they were always similar people and that she always took comfort in the fact that nothing would ever be too bad to go to chuck with (like in s1! “dan i understand, but what’s so bad you can’t even tell me?”) and that there would never be any judgment there.