#september is looking UP! finally smh

[fernsproutxx]

My fnaf lore.

anywhooo… here it goes! just to note; i have written down what happens in the security breach era, but it enters more into au territory tbh, so that will probably be a secondary reblog to this post later, since i have still to add ruin into the mix.

but without much further ado, enjoy reading my lore interpretation of this franchise (i focus mostly in satisfying narrative than being accurate)

William Afton, born on the 2nd of November in 1939 as an only child, lived in England with his parents. He was a smart child who got placed in bad circumstances by no fault of his. He was born susceptible to mental illness, afraid about his head, but the abuse from his Father after he made it back from war in 1945 shaped William terribly (If you wanna know how I picture William’s childhood, it’s pretty much just like in “His Empire of Dirt” please for the love of god read that fic it’s so good i can’t even-)

Everyone is the victim of a victim.

William moved to the USA [Hurricane, Utah] in 1958, pursuing better studies for a major in engineering and a minor in business. But also at the same time to get as far away as he could from his abusive Father. He got a part-time job at a local restaurant too.

He meets Henry Emily (born on 25/Apr/1946) in college in September of 1964, and William finds himself intrigued about how his new colleague’s mind works, even seeing a little of himself in him. William is captivated by him, his ideas, and his being.

He grows attached to Henry, as for that period Henry is the only constant in William’s life, due to him having no one to rely on when he moved alone to another country.

Without noticing, William becomes obsessed with Henry, writing in stacks of journals. Envy and admiration blind him when bearing witness to the seemingly good childhood Henry had, unlike him.

Straight William doesn’t exist, his brain just really said no homo, so he has internalized homophobia smh. Henry is straight in this, and he’s completely oblivious to William’s feelings. So it’s pretty much a one-sided thing but that one side is in denial.

Henry found William odd, unnerving, and rude at first but soon got accustomed to his presence. In the end, he felt good that finally someone intently listened to his uncommon ideas instead of saying how his projects and dreams wouldn’t get him anywhere. Having a close friend felt good for once.

Later on, William, like the jealous and obsessive bastard he is, just wants to be equal to Henry. They’re very competitive, like at first they’re just competitive in a friendly manner but as time goes on, that same competitiveness begins to corrupt William.

In November of 1965 in the middle of one of their class lessons, both of them brainstormed about opening a franchise together, Fazbear Entertainment.

Henry brought it up first as a joke, as all things usually did between the two. This time though, William enhanced the idea further than expected. He followed the lead and threw even more things into the mix. Things like how both could incorporate robotics with entertainment and how William could take care of the financial side of things.

It started as a joke, but then William dig deeper, and soon enough, Henry’s joke became something more.

While both were still finishing their studies they began the first project for their growing franchise, Fredbear’s Family Diner, as well as making the blueprints for its respective animatronics.

In May of 1968, months before their graduation both William and Henry walked around the campus. William catches a glimpse of a young ballerina at the auditorium, Cecily Schmidt (born on 29/May/1944). Henry mocks him about how dumbfounded he looked by the ballerina as if he’s never seen a woman before (lmao).

Later William would find himself at the back of the auditorium every time Cecily performed, marveling about her fluent and intricate movements, imagining one of his creations moving in that same hypnotic way.

One day William was caught off guard by Cecily, and she told him how she had seen him watching her since the beginning. William was surprised she had even noticed him since she seemed so deep into her choreography that Cecily used to always dance with her eyes closed.

They talked for a while, and Cecily found William quite charming. From then on they would always talk when she finished her practice sessions. William learns that Cecily suffers from Cystic Fibrosis and that it might cut short her dancing career.

Around July of 1968, William began to show interest in the theatrical (he even learned how to play the banjo, like terrifyingly good at it xd). He got so invested in acting that he decided he wanted to perform in Fredbear’s, so he alone came up with the idea of building the animatronics to double as wearable costumes (this was also to save some money). That’s how the spring-lock suit blueprints came to be.

It’s graduation night (16/Dec/1968) and everyone gets drunk as fuck. Henry drags William to a party at someone’s frat house where they don’t even know the host.

William was just watching Henry from afar while leaning against the wall as he drank a beer, then another, and another, and…

He doesn’t remember what happened that night. When William wakes up he's completely wasted on the floor in the master bedroom, as if he had rolled off the bed and the fall didn't wake him up. He was completely alone though, and the room was trashed.

He also wasn’t the only person that had passed out too (there were more knocked out persons in the living room and one with their head inside a toilet kekw).

On the 23rd of January 1969, William finds out Cecily is pregnant and she keeps saying that the kid is his which he blatantly denies, until she brings up the prom night. The night he doesn’t remember. He still denies it even when knowing she might be right.

Around February of the same year, Henry announces that he’s marrying Isabella Barnett (born on 31/Jan/1946 (if you know you know)). William then proposed to Cecily out of spite of Henry having a wife, and since she was already pregnant with his son he just took the chance like the competitive bastard he grew to be.

Michael is born on the 16th of August 1969 (n i c e), and William has a lingering hatred towards him but decides to put it aside for once. Henry had a child with Bella a little over a year later, and they named her Charlotte Emily (born on 7/Jun/1970).

William starts to slowly fall in love with Cecily in 1972, and they have another child, Elizabeth (whom they nickname Abby) born on the 11th of August 1973. Later on the 23rd of September 1976, they decided to adopt a boy, Evan (born on 13/May/1975).

In 1979, Fazbear Entertainment was founded and Fredbear's Family Diner was built as well as the spring-lock animatronics. Audiotapes were recorded as a means of training employees. One day while wearing the Springbonnie suit the locks fail, impaling William, but he survives despite being left scarred.

The spring-lock animatronics are retired from their wearable mode until further notice, so they instead start using regular mascot suits as they now can afford them due to Fredbear’s Family Diner being a fairly great success ever since its opening. After a while they decide to add more members to the cast besides the golden duo; Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy. The classics.

And for once life was good. But good things don’t last forever. Cecily’s illness strikes harder in July of 1980.

Then why did William have the Funtime animatronics even when he hadn’t shown any signs of bloodlust¿ Well, to achieve immortality still BUT not for him. Guess who did end up falling in love despite not being for the right reasons at first~ fuckin William the bitch, he fell in love with Cecily and then she got sick af, but since he can’t make a cure he rather find a way around and cheat death for someone he ended up loving as one does. William experimented with animals first and while it gave positive results it didn’t get enough of what he needed so he debated on murdering children.

Between Cecily being at the hospital and William neck deep into his experiment and work, there was no one else to take care of the Afton children. Michael refused to call Uncle Henry for help, and he wouldn’t have admitted it but looking after his siblings as if he’s a parent, even if he definitely shouldn’t have had to because he’s barely a teenager, gave him a sense of normalcy because he knew that at least they weren’t being that neglected.

Cecily died from Cystic Fibrosis on the 3rd of November 1980. Michael takes it out on his brother because you know how anger is part of grief¿ Yeah…

Abby died to Circus Baby on the 11th of April 1982. Evan saw it happen from afar. This didn’t help in the slightest with Michael’s grief, and with kids being dumb in general, the bullying towards Evan gets worse. Michael just wanted to be loved just like how Father loved his brother, to have his attention.

After losing Abby, William goes apeshit (lmao), and he kills Charlotte Emily on the night of the 7th of June 1982 at a friend's party at Fredbear’s out of jealousy while wishing to make Henry feel the same way he does so they're equal. Michael loses his best friend. A little later Isabella divorces Henry due to their child being murdered, she would later pass away (29/Oct/1984) in a car crash without knowing who killed her daughter.

Around July of 1982, to make sure his youngest child, Evan, doesn’t go near any animatronic unlike his sister, William gives him a Fredbear plush with a modulated speaker and camera to monitor him at all times. He would constantly instill that the animatronics were dangerous monsters and remind him of “what he saw” when speaking at Evan through the plush, settling a new fear in him in hopes of keeping his child as far away as possible from the machines.

Evan is bullied by his older brother Michael on his birthday and forces him inside Fredbear’s mouth. Due to Evan’s tears and pushing when trying to get out, the moisture and jerky movements caused the jaw spring-locks to go back into their default position, closed.

On the 13th of May 1983, Fredbear bites Evan's head on his 8th birthday, leaving him in a coma.

“Can you hear me? I don’t know if you can hear me …I’m sorry.”

You’re broken. We are still your friends. Do you still believe that? I’m still here. I will put you back together.

Evan dies a week later due to his injury. Everything goes into an even steeper downhill.

Michael was only 13 years old when all this unfolded, and began to suffer from AvPD (avoidant personality disorder). This disorder began to develop from William’s emotional neglect and got worse after the rejection he received from others after the bite of ‘83, especially from his friend group and classmates, practically becoming an outsider.

As a punishment for what he did, in June of 1983, William tested the illusion discs with Michael by tormenting him all night with the nightmare animatronics (this is also why Michael knows how to draw nightmare fredbear in the survival logbook). Michael underwent severe sleep deprivation to the point where he even hallucinated hospital objects in his room from when he never left Evan’s bedside before passing away. If he wasn’t trying to doze off whenever he could, Mike was in a constant state of paranoia throughout the daytime.

On his first night, Michael almost didn’t make it, since right as Foxy jumped him the alarm clock blared out, leaving him with a scratch on his chin from Foxy’s hook. When telling William about it he just gaslighted him into thinking it was simply nightmares and not real for the entire week. Micheal cried for the first time since his brother died.

William did like Cecily, Evan, and Abby, he just hates Michael and blames him for everything, so their deaths add to the reason why he went apeshit, as he starts murdering children out of madness and spite towards Michael (He wanted to murder him but knew that he would get pinpointed by the police too fast). The first missing children incident happened on the 26th of June 1985. They get stuffed inside the classic animatronics plus Fredbear, and William discovers remnant. Fredbear’s Family Diner closes down in July of the same year after the backlash.

One day in November of 1985, William simply came back home to another empty bedroom. His only son had moved out to live on his own, away from anything related to his Father.

Despite not having received any prior disclosure about this, William didn’t have any reaction whatsoever and went back to his experiments without comments.

Around January of 1986, William goes on the run from Henry after they both get released from their conviction due to the lack of evidence, Henry finally realizes that William killed those kids and most likely also murdered Charlotte.

After moving out, Michael gets a small house in a social suburb where all neighbors know each other, and a job that deals with repairs and heavy machinery, nothing crazy. In April of 1986, he also meets a guy named Jeremy Fitzgerald and begins a discreet relationship with him.

In September of the same year, Fazbear Entertainment, now in the solo ownership of Henry, opens a new location, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza (fnaf 2).

Michael receives a letter from his Father telling him about the sister location. On one of his shifts he gets a hold of the illusion disc that was removed from Funtime Freddy and takes it with him (this will be important later).

He was 17 when he died on the 5th of October 1986, his vital organs getting scooped and replaced by Ennard, worn as a rotting suit. After regaining control of his body Michael isolates himself, ignoring all the worried calls from Jeremy. He never got the chance to go to college and grow up like everyone else. He was just a kid when he died.

Michael suffers from Eisoptrophobia. The fear of seeing oneself in the mirror; is a very infrequent specific phobia. Many believe that this fear occurs in response to several factors such as superstition, poor self-image, or the result of a traumatic event. In his case, Michael is terrified of his reflection due to the likeness he shares with his Father and fears that he's just like him, a murderer. At first, he would simply cover them up with a towel or something but after getting scooped his phobia just gets worse, and he straight up just breaks all mirrors with his fist if he ever catches a glimpse.

The beginning of his phobia takes place after the bite of ‘83 when he sees his reflection. His tangled hair was greasy from the lack of a shower since he refused to leave Evan’s side. Then he saw how it curled around his neck and the dry blood that was still stuck to his hair. In a panic he started to cut it, snipping everything away. Michael refused to let his hair grow out like that, not wanting to remind himself of that day anymore, and he's not had his hair long ever since.

That’s why my Mike has short hair, and after getting scooped he gets a long wig since he doesn’t even bother to look in the mirror. Funnily enough, his facial features resemble even more those of his Father after the scoop, showing just how William already looked dead as time went by, way before actually dying.

After moving out of his Father’s house his AvPD symptoms seemed to alleviate a lot. That’s how he began to open up and be social with his neighbors and even start a relationship with Jeremy.

But you know how life tends to suddenly drag you even deeper when things barely begin to look in a positive light? Yeah, he got scooped right after “tasting the honey on his lips” of a promising future. Basically, the AvPD hit Michael like a truck in the worst way possible after getting tricked by Ennard.

Later Mike makes his mission to find his Father and make him pay for what he’s done.

Around November of 1987, William sneaks inside Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza restaurant and takes away several parts from the classic ones, making them look severely withered. Tries to make a remnant but it’s not enough with just spare parts.

In desperate need of more remnant, William goes on another killing spree, and the second missing children incident takes place. They get stuffed in the tampered toy animatronics.

The restaurant gets shut down. But one employee didn’t get the memo.

The bite of 1987 happens on the 6th day after being moved to the dayshift. Jeremy was looking for Michael all over the state but he suffered terrible consequences because of it.

When hearing about this Michael takes the job under the fake alias Fritz Smith and uses the illusion disc to pass as a normal person (who tf would employ an ourple person), but is fired the next day for tampering with the animatronics as well as his rotting odor.

Also, even though he only worked one shift, in one of his many close calls due to the animatronics being extremely aggressive, his illusion disc stopped working properly.

He also obtained his old reliable flashlight in that location, and it has never left his side since then (that shit is so big and heavy that you could kill someone with it fr).

Then the withered animatronics were reconditioned and put in a new location in 1993 (fnaf 1).

The reason Michael uses the name Mike Schmidt is bc it’s his Mother’s last name, Michael is a momma’s boy. BC MAN HIS FATHER HATES HIM SO HE JUST SPENT ALL THE TIME WITH HIS MOM EVEN AFTER HE HAD HIS SIBLINGS BUT THEN SHE DIES AND BC OF HOW MUCH IT AFFECTED HIM HE STARTS TO BULLY EVAN- FU C K.

Anyways, even after his illusion disc broke he somehow managed to get the job as a rotting corpse lmao, but Michael is fired again a week later for the same reasons as before and the place closes down.

On the 8th of February 1993, William breaks in and decides to take down the animatronics for good. However, he gets cornered by several vengeful spirits, getting spring-locked in an attempt to scare them away with the same suit he used to murder them.

The agony of his death fused his soul into this animatronic. He couldn’t move, barely able to twitch in this state. It exhausted him greatly when he tried. Just slouched over the wall, in a puddle of his dried blood.

His body spasms, wincing at the agony. He wasn’t numb. He could still feel metal in his flesh digging deeper with every movement. He groaned when trying to call out, but it sounded wheezy, filled with static from the voice box inside him. He couldn’t scream for help, despite doing his best. His body shuddered in anger, eyes flashing flickering light into the dark room he was in.

Henry visits his local to check on his failed animatronics one last time before it’s done for good but finds the classics destroyed and leading to the side room, finding William’s body inside the Spring Bonnie suit.

At first glance, Henry thought that he was dead but upon closer inspection, he noticed the flickering eyes a rasping breathing. Somehow William was still alive, but unable to move.

Henry thought this fate was well deserved. After all, he firmly believed— no, knew that William was responsible for all the murders, of Charlotte, despite nothing being proved in court.

So, with one last glance at someone he thought he once knew, he closed the door to the side room, leaving William to rot in his agony.

In later days Henry ordered the side room to be sealed off behind a fake wall.

Micheal spends the next decades looking for his Father and picking a liking to exploring abandoned places, learning the inner workings of his Father's animatronics in his spare time, which was easy since he's dealt with machinery before, and also hiding in the shadows.

[Zeitgeist Ammonium AU timeline starts here :D]

Fnaf 3 takes place in October of 2023. Michael gets a job at Fazbear's Frights, even though he hates the whole concept of an attraction based on a real tragedy. The manager even included Michael in the attraction as a security guard due to his unsettling appearance. He hated that too.

Anyways, blah blah… the ourple boy commits arson and patricide, and fnaf 6 takes placeon the 31st of January 2025. Michael pities that he once considered Henry as family.

Cassidy tortures William for eternity.

[ethanjhake]

OK! It's been another year! and boy has it been a lot afhdkahfak

In January I asked a girl out who I had a crush on, and in July we got engaged. And then in September we got married afkhkajfakjsl

I got to visit Chicago with a friend and see half•alive perform in the House Of Blues, eat some Chicago style pizza, visit lake Michigan, experience The Bean™, and scramble to find a hotel that wasn't over booked ajfhakda. I was able to spend a few days in Michigan to meet the in-laws, eat hibachi, visit their church, and try Tim Horton's.

In the span of about a month, me and my wife went through premarital counseling, planned a whole wedding, moved into a new apartment, dressed to the nines, said our vows and took the leap, and got to spend a couple days at a lakehouse retreat in Arkansas. And now we live at our own place trying to start our artist/writer careers.

I fought in ArtFight (and won) with a total of twelve attacks. I completed nine prompts for Inktober, which was for me a study of the art of Ari Gibson in Hollow Knight, but couldn't make it through the rest of the prompts, smh.  I did a #sixfanarts challenge as well and had some fun with that.

In March I quite me full time job in place of a part time, to free myself up to work on my personal projects like Songs of the Fallen (my webcomic in pre-production) and finally get my art career off the ground. And speaking of which—I also started a Ko-Fi and opened commissions up again! Check it out!

Over all, so much has happened, and there's still so much more to come! I'm really thankful for this year and all I was able to do and experience. The future can look grim in many ways, but I know God has plans for good and not evil, so we can be ready for whatever comes.

Thank you all for following along, it's been a ride lol, and I hope to see you all in the new year! Cheers!🎉

[obabayangu]

Trust Issues

September 15th, 2023

Y'all. I'm probably in the most scariest place of my life right now. I'm in a place where I have no idea what's next for me in life, and I hate that for me. I like having some idea of where we going next in life or at least know what we doing right now. I don't even know if I'm coming or going, literally!! I am completely in the dark this time, knowing NOTHING! Chile, I'm in the boat. And I think that this is exactly how God wants it.

See, I have a habit of tryna "figure God out". So I've spent the last few weeks tryna figure God out to the point where I was unhealthily obsessing over the vision and now God has called everything to a screeching HAULT! I don't like speaking vaguely so lemme give you a quick excerpt of my life right now:

For those that don't know, I currently reside in the DMV. Living in Maryland, working in DC, and falling in love with Virginia. I'm a native North Carolinian and up and decided to move to DC a few months after I graduated from college because I believed that God called me here. Moved here, feel like I learned why God called me here rather quickly, but then also identified that this move was only a season for me. That I were to be in the DMV for only a season. Y'all. IT'S GOING ON YEAR 5! 🙃 Once upon a time, I was really really homesick and made sure that God knew this every moment of everyday and was so hellbent on moving back to NC. But, I believe that that is not in God's plan for me anymore. Which is cool. But ya'll, I am RET to GO! Somewhere, anywhere. I've been battling back and forth over the past few months about where to go next and chile, I have truly exhausted myself! And that's only my RESIDENCY. Now let's talk about my career.

For those that don't know, I am an educator. Been doing this since college and it's truly all I know. I love the babies of all different colors, shapes, & sizes! I've learned a LOT about myself in my career field over the past years. I've learned what I like, what I don't like, my strengths, weaknesses, allat good stuff. And once upon a time, working in a high school with at risk inner city teens of color was like MARRIAGE to me hunny! It was THEE goal. I just knew if I were ever blessed with the opportunity to do so that I could call my mama and tell her "we made it!". Well guess what ya'll, I'm working, in a high school, with at risk inner city, teens, of color......and I'm ready to quit yesterday 🤗. It's just so fascinating to see me finally reach these life long goals of mine, or have the opportunity to explore them, and it is NOT all that I caked it out to be. I am so shooketh that this grass isn't greener on the other side. Ya'll, I just knew that if I moved to NC and worked in a high school with Bebe's children, that I'd be living my best life with Lil Duval. And AIN'T chile, smh 😭

So where does this leave me? Somewhere, shooketh, and scared, fr. Cause I legit DON'T know what's next for me. What are you supposed to do when you've finally obtained all that you've been working for and it's not satisfying like you'd thought it'd be. Ya'll, God has truly shaken everything in my life. I have no idea where I'll end up next, or if I'm even leaving anywhere. I'm to the point now where I don't even know if I even wanna pursue EDUCATION anymore. Like y’all, education is my LIFE! Working with kids is my LIFE! And now we looking at a whole possible career change? That is WILD! Like this is something that I know and love and have a passion for, at least I thought and now I’m completely stuck! It truly is scary ya'll. I hate this for me lol. And it's giving, I'm in the boat 🌚🛶

In Matthew 8, I think it's verse 24ish (girl, you know I aint no Bible scholar 🤣)

Jesus got into a boat with his disciples, a storm came through, boat got real shooketh, disciples started freaking OUT and JC was SLEEP 😒 smh! The disciples woke Jesus up to let him know they bout to die and JC had a slight tude because he was awoken out of his sleep. But he was like "I know ya'll ain't wake me up over no foolishness! I know you bed NOT be scared. Scared for WHAT? Yeen got no faith smh 🤦🏾‍♂️ " So then JC stopped the storm, gave the disciples some side eye, and resumed his nap.

Now, when I first read this I was like "Um, JESUS 🙋🏾‍♀️ yes, Jesus..hey, 😊👋🏾um...EXCUSE ME 🗣️🗣️ What you mean why my man's and em' freaking out? Don't you see this here boat is about to fall apart? Don't you see we all about to DIE? I know you see this storm, you ain't that sleepy!" and Holy Spirit called me out and showed me something so small in the text. "....Jesus got into the boat with the disciples". Ya'll. YA'LL! Did you peep that? Did you pick up what Holy put down? Jesus was already IN the boat when the storm came! Yet, the disciples were still freaking out. And I said to myself "Oh well that's because at this time, they had no idea who Jesus was. They had no idea of where he came from and the POWER that he possessed." And then I had the nerve to say "If that were me, oh I'd definitely be cooling. All I need to know is that Jesus is in the boat, and I wouldn't dare be freaking out. Cause I know Jesus! They just didn't know Jesus at the time, that's all". And then everything hit like the matrix. Holy Spirit said to me "Um Aeriel...ain't YOU in this boat?

🤔 And aren't you currently freaking out? 🤔 Then act like YOU know Jesus please! And act like he’s in your boat👌🏾" And I said Oh snap! You RIGHT. While the unknown is transpiring in my life, I've been tryna worry about it so much NOT realizing that if Jesus is in my boat, and if I got a one up on these disciples and I actually know who Jesus is, then can I start acting like I know he's gonna handle the scary waves and storms in my life? Y'all, it's to the point now where God has literally been dousing me in his peace each in everyday. He won't even ALLOW me to stress and freak out over my next moves in life right now. I'm talking about me knowing that my lease is ending VERY soon so I have to figure out what I’m gonna do and me showing up to work each and every day receiving more & more confirmation that this job is no longer fitting for me, I want to stress about it ALL!! I want to want to be frustrated and try to figure out how we gone fix all of this & plan and brainstorm with God but he literally won't allow me. I can't feel anything but God's peace right now. It’s insane! And here's the icing. With all this peace, it forces me to rest and relax and enjoy life now. So it's like dang, well I guess I just gotta trust God with the course of my life! But I wanna be discontent over my life so badly y’all 😂 I much rather help show God where WE can move to next and obsess over figuring out what career path WE can pursue but he simply will not let me 🙄 I am so numb to the idea of obsessing and instead am thriving and relishing in God's peace. It's truly incredible. Gone head and get after it!

[pancakehouse]

REUNITED WITH MY DOGS TODAY!!!! IF ANYONE CARES!!!!!!!!!!!

[boa-h]

【Draco Malfoy】 The Boy On The Apple Tree

*i am back and ready to attack

*can’t believe my first HP fic is about him smh

*i was gonna write more but then my motivation was like nah so i just stopped there

You met Draco Malfoy during mid-august, when the green apples on your apple tree were slowly growing ripe.

You two were still kids back then, about eleven years old. Your mansions were right next to each other, and he saw the apples on your tree.

The blond boy carefully climbed up the tall tree, but never noticed you watching him from your window. As he was finally about to reach his first apple, he saw you. Who was staring at him with great curiosity.

Startled, he lost his grip on the branch, you grabbed onto the back of his collar at the last second, saving the young master from the Malfoy family from breaking a bone.

“Why were you staring at me like that?! You almost made me fall! My father will hear about this!!” He yelled.

“You’re the one who climbed on my apple tree.” You tilted your head, confused on why he was blaming you.

The boy’s pale face then turned red from anger and embarrassment. “You…!”

“Were you hoping to find some apples here to eat?” You asked, picking off the nearest apple by your hand, “This tree grew well, it’s a shame that it only produces sour, green apples.” You handed him the apple.

Draco took a large bite, his face immediately scrunched up at the sourness, but it seems like he doesn’t want to admit how sour the apple is. “It’s not sour at all.” He said, “But you, why are you staring out the window anyways?”

“What else should I do other than staring out the windows?” You sighed.

“Maybe you should be in Diagon Alley to buy your supplies for the upcoming school year! You’re eleven, right?”

“How did you know?” You were quite shocked.

“I guessed.” He seems to be proud of himself.

You were left speechless, and after a while, you sighed again, “I’m not going to Hogwarts…”

“Oh… WHAT?!” He shouted, “What do you mean? Did you not get the acceptance letter? You’re not a squib, are you?”

You shook your head, “I have health problems, I can’t go. I can barely walk out of my house, I mean, I can, but my house-elf wouldn’t let me, upon my parent’s orders.”

“That’s awful.” He frowned, picking another apple and handing it to you, as if trying to comfort you. “I’ll tell my father about this.”

You chuckled at his childish words, taking a bite of the apple. Sourness spread in your mouth, and you scrunched up your face, just like he did.

Time was like a monster with wings, the month flew by, faster than it normally was.

Draco would often climb your apple tree, taking a few apples every time he comes, and he no longer scrunch up his face while eating them.

You allowed him to take as many apples as he liked, but in return, he would have to talk to you for an hour each apple. It was a deal.

When September came, it was time for him to leave and start school. You hoped for him to find more friends, whereas you, you will be sitting in your room, doing homeschool.

The apples on your tree rotted and fell off the branch one by one. Then the first snow of the year came… and then it was Christmas… then it was spring… and finally, summer.

The second day Draco returned from Hogwarts, he climbed up your tree again.

“Good morning, Draco.” You smiled at him, opening your windows.

“Excited to see me?” Says the excited one.

“Sorry, the apples aren’t ripe yet…” You apologized, looking at the small, whitish-green fruits that’s growing on the tree.

“That’s not important right now! I have to tell you everything that happened this year.” The immature boy shushed you and sat up straighter than before.

From there on, he started his story, and it continued until it was lunch time.

“Do you want to stay for lunch? I can tell my house-elf to make you some.” You suggested.

“I can’t,” He says, “My father will kill me if I don’t return for any of the meals without telling him beforehand.”

“That’s too bad, but take this.” You took the basket of cookies that was on your nightstand, prepared just for him, “I baked it on my own and put a spell on it so it won’t get soggy that fast. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them.”

He looked at the basket and put it on your windowsill before climbing down the tree. You looked down in disappointment, does he not like cookies? Just as you were about to take it away, you heard him clear his throat.

“Wingardium leviosa.” He pointed his wand at the basket, and it floated down towards him.

You chuckled, “Stop trying to show off.”

“I can teach you if you’d like. If you ask nicely, of course.” The boy raised his head high.

And then from that day and on, Draco would come over and teach you everything he learned as a first-year in Hogwarts.

It was very hot that summer, just like the young boy’s fiery heart.

A few years went by, and everything remained the same, or at least it seems like everything’s the same.

A lot of the spells you know were taught by Draco, and you would always listen to his amazing stories at Hogwarts, it goes on for hours. He still sat on that branch of the apple tree, and you still sat by the window.

Under the dusk, both of your faces are a bit red. Is it because of the sunset? Or was it because of the seed called love budding inside your hearts?

The first time he came inside your room was when you were fifteen. He had gotten back from school again, and he came to find you like he always does.

“Did you know, we had a school ball this year.” He said, “We also had this tournament, but that’s not what's important right now. I mean, will you dance with me? I didn’t bring any music but will you? I wished you were there, so you could be my dance partner, but you weren’t, so mind if we dance now?” He asked, speaking a bit fast.

“I don’t know how to dance, Draco.” You said, but still moved away so he can come in.

“It doesn’t matter, I can teach you.” He replied, jumping into your window.

Then you realized how tall he was, almost a head taller than you. He put your left hand on his shoulder and held on to your right hand and waist, telling you instructions on how to move your feet. You could smell the scent of green apples on him when you two danced the night away. He didn’t bring any music, but at least you knew a few spells that would make the violin in your room play on its own.

It was your first dance you ever danced in your life, also taking your first kiss away, along with his. The moon watched over you two, it wasn’t as bright as the sun, but at this moment, it only shines on you and him.

After that year, Draco barely comes back anymore. Sure, he would write letters, but he always asks for you to never write back. You didn’t know what happened, but looking at the dark mist engulfing the Malfoy mansion, you knew whatever is happening can’t be good.

You didn’t bother to try to find him, because your body is weak, and if something really happened, you would only be a burden to him. The only thing you could do is pray for him to be safe.

And he was, sort of. It was midnight when he came knocking on your window again. He was full of dirt and bruises, he looks like he aged a lot, he looks tired.

“What happened, Draco?” You asked softly.

He didn’t speak for a while, but instead he hugged you tight, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You suddenly feel a wet sensation. You didn’t say anything either, hugging him back and comforting him.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… He was back, I had to…” He cried.

“There’s no need to be sorry, Draco.” You said.

“Please, love me.”

“I love you still, I always do.”

[evenstarfalls]

Vengeful Vengeful Vengeful Vengeful Vengeful part 2: revelation

Of course she's a business major (derogatory)

Never sell yourself cheap wtf

Yes babygirl find him and fuck him up

Taking back my joke last post about playing Marcella in an adaptation

DOMINIC <3<3<3

4:30 am alarm god i could never

Motorcycle omg what if they formed a biker gang I'd like to see victor on a motorcycle that would be funny

into the belly of the beast

FINALLY OMG ELI EVER I MISSED HIM SO MUCH HOW ARE U BABES DOING TERRIBLY I HOPE

The hunting dog and the Hunter aww🥰

my poor poor boy i hate haverty so much

VICTOR HALLUCINATIONS BEGIN I CANT

cutting out his heart...this part is just terrible. i think vengeful may be an unadaptable book tbh. so much of it is in their brains. then again i thought a wrinkle in time was unadaptable but disney tried! twice! and...i was right smh. they should've asked me

FUCK pastor john cardale. gave eli so much trauma

fuck haverty

fuck john cardale

thanks stell

"and so the angel trades hell for purgatory" bit melodramatic

i forgot his name is eliot again

"you killed thirty-nine people" the truer number was closer to fifty BITCH DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH

RIP Patrick and Lisa I barely knew y'all but i loved y'all

manipulative bastard <3

imaginary victor :))

so many! unanswered! questions! so is victorious coming out next september or when? i'd guess september 2023, just over a decade after vicious. THAT'S SO LONG THOUGH THIS WAIT IS HURTING ME MORE THAN VICTOR EVER COULD

"electrokinetic teen" is that someone from ExtraOrdinary or am i making stuff up. i need to get my hands on it but someone checked it out from the library I COULD STRANGLE THEM FOR KEEPING IT FROM ME and i'm gonna be gone from like the 29th to early august they'd better return it tO THE LIBRARY SOON I

omg evervale meet cute!! people don't say meet cute anymore do they idt they do

"Family is best in small doses" felt

angieee baby i missed you so much

awww victor is such a cutie pie 🥺

I Need Victorious

Two in the morning, classes starting the next day, but sleep still eluded him felt.

getting into pseudoscience 🤩 eli is such a Christian

OH OH OH HE KNOWSSSS VICTOR IS ALIVEEEE

AND HE WANTS VICTOR'S DEATH TO BE HIS i really think i'm funny don't i. i am.

fuck dr haverty

fuck dr haverty

look it's probably not good or normal that i am like this abt fictional evil people!! but like, they're not real. it's not like it's bad. it's just a red flag, which i'm fine with tbh. god i love this book. i missed victor he was barely in this part but still. got to spend some quality time with eliot cardale i CAN'T CALL HIM THAT SERIOUSLY

[siarven]

I think I followed you for the tma fanfic but stayed for the vibes 😎

do you have a favorite moth?

Awww 🥺🥰 Thank you so much?? I am so glad :'333

And yes!!! I have a lot of favourite moths, but the one I think of first is the cecropia moth :DDD I wanna pet its head very gently :'3 (I wouldn't but it looks so FLUFFY!)

THE LIL FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'3333333

I have also just now learned that they're native to north america so I guess next time I visit I am going on a moth discovery trip!?!?! >:0000 [image source/article]

Look at them ,,,, AAAAA :'3333 the colours!!!! the contrast!!! the floof!!! I love them so much!! Nature is amazing!! my brain cell sadly hasn't booted up completely yet or you'd get more moth rambles (in general, about others too),,, just know i love them A Normal Amount (Fairly sure the upper one is a male and the video has a female moth, the males have larger antennae :D)

There are also a huge number of other fantastic moths I love A Normal Amount, but this is always the first one I think of :D They make me very happy :'3

Regarding the fanfic, I promise it isn't dead even if it looks fairly dead sldkfdlf ,,, I just had something of a writing crisis(TM) in September and October (caused mainly by wip novel), then rewrote said wip novel for Nanowrimo in November (fifth draft babyyyy) and edited out nanowrimo-induced typos and stuff in December. It's in beta phase now, once again. Plan was to binge-write Moth Song after finishing Dream's Shadow v5,,, obviously that didn't happen!

What happened instead was 3 months' worth of uni stress because I had also made the fantastic (derogatory) executive decision to join four (4) huge uni film projects that ended up all being due roughly at the same time (now! :'D) and sadly they're also all too cool to resist (I should have put two of them back, but there wasn't really anyone else to help out and ahh. #Do it for the portfolio 💪😤). One day I will once again have a brain cell left to make words with. (I did write a tiny bit here and there but idk if it's any good xD Can't believe I stopped in the chapter I wrote this whole dang fic for smh)

Buuuut in theory I should have survived most of them sometime next week. Also it's camp nanowrimo once again so I'll at least write 10k this month, hopefully more :D The plan is still to write it like I would write a novel and finally get some backlog for once so I don't have these huge hiatuses every time uni eats me alive v_v Wish me luck lmao

Anyways, just gotta survive and finish everything and then I can have some mental space again xD

I hope you have a lovely day and thank you so much :'3 Do you have a favourite moth? :DDDD

[code-otome-game]

Completed otome games, my thoughts, along with my fav characters (last updated: August 22nd 2021)

1. Code Realize - August 2021

Saint-Germain instantly caught my eye, along with Lupin ofc. I was curious about Impey but my friend who lent me her collection of otome games said he was shit. Code Realize was my reintroduction to otome games, and plummeted me into otome hell once more. As soon as I saw Herlock Sholmes, I wanted him as a route, and loved his Future Blessings route.

Saint Germain was my absolute favourite, and his route hurt me in all the right ways. His VA was amazing at conveying the emotion behind certain scenes.

2. Café Enchanté - August 2021

After completing Code Realize, I felt a little lost and didn't know what game to play next. I figured after the pain of some of the stuff in Code Realize, I'd go for something I thought would be a little more fun and a little lighter. Cafe Enchante was next on my list. I was instantly drawn to Misyr and Il, with Il being my first route. I absolutely loved Il, and was traumatized from having my fav boy be the one who was hurt the most again. Although, Misyr is definitely a top contender for most hurt fav as well...

3. Piofiore - August 2021

I continued on with Piofiore right after Cafe Enchante, and instantly knew I was interested in Dante and Yang. I went with Dante first, and was absolutely enamored by him. I was absolutely heartbroken to find out that I didn't get his best ending at first, and contemplated not playing the game for a while. But I decided against it and carried on, using a guide this time. I didn't think anyone else would surpass him in my mind, but boy was I wrong. I quickly fell in love with Yang once I started his route, and his route was the first to make me feel butterflies again in years since I played my last otome game.

However, after playing through all the routes and getting to the finale, I absolutely fell in love with Henri, and I'm honestly shocked that Nicola has left such an impression on me considering I didn't think much of him right after his route. Now it's hard *not* to think about him. But overall, I love all the men pretty equally. I'm super excited for 1926.

4. Collar x Malice - August 2021

I was definitely curious about this one and was tempted to start it multiple times when choosing which game to play next, however I put it off because I didn't like the protagonist being a cop.

The characters are honestly all super loveable, and I think I love them all a bit more equally then I do the Piofiore guys. I was surprised Saeki wasn't a route, until while I was playing Kei or Shiraishi's route when my friend spoiled he was Adonis' leader.

I fell in love with all the characters quite gradually through their stories, with the exception of Shiraishi. I knew he'd be the one I was the most curious and interested in. I was so excited when I finally unlocked his route, and I absolutely loved every single bit of the early half of it. His comments and interactions were hilarious, he was adorable *and* hot.... and he loves cats. What the hell more could I want from a guy? He makes me want to introduce him to my own cats and also makes me want to do mundane and sweet things with him just because he's so sweet and I love him.

I was absolutely heartbroken at his "best" ending, and thinking about his tragic ending hurts my heart. I legitimately only want the best for this man- I only want him to be happy and healthy and not confined to some stupid prison or Adonis...

It also feels strange, but I think I love him best *before* he got a little soft with the protagonist? His quick retorts and harsh comments were hilarious and I loved that so much about him, so I was a bit sad when he grew a bit soft later on.

At the time of writing these past 4 entries, CxM is the latest game I've played, so Shiraishi's story is still super fresh in my mind. I was as obsessed with most of the other men mentioned above as I am with him right now. I'm sure the following entries will contain more love-ramblings like this as I complete more games and add them to the list.

5. Amnesia: Memories - August/September 2021

Toma! Toma! Toma!!!

My first experience with ✨ the cage ✨. I went with Ikki at first, got his normal ending (thaT SHIT WAS SO SAD WTF ;-;) and then went back with a walkthrough for his good ending. But... his route was kinda underwhelming tbh. I liked it as I played it, but looking back now... it really was quite underwhelming. So was Shin's route, who I played after Toma. I was interested in who the culprit was, and was shocked with the reveal tbh. Buuut after playing Toma's route... it was understandable. Although I really wish that Shin's route had more affection in it... it felt more like a mystery with a little bit of romance rather then an otome game.

I played Toma's route after Ikki's, and omfg... Toma was truly an unexpected fav. Hated his good ending tho, idfk why you would be ok with just returning to normal after all of that... but whatever. I would willingly go in that cage I s2g. I LOVED his eyes too! When he gets dark and super possessive, those eyes are just... UGH. Yes please. ❤

I skipped the entirety of Kent's route because I really just don't give a fuck about him. Hes absolutely not my type. I felt bad skipping it, but... in the end I don't really care.

Ukyo was also an unexpected fav- I wad super curious about his route and suspected that all of the "interesting" and bad stuff that I had heard about would happen during his route buuuut... nope. Nothing of the sort. He was so damn sweet, but I will say that uh... insane side of him is kinda hot too. 👀 but omg, the fact that he's a photographer AND so damn dedicated to you and sweet is just... ugh. My heart. Ukyo and Toma definitely became my favs for this game, and I think this is the first time where my first route didn't end up being one of my favourites.

I love how sharp Toma is as well! That he knows so much about you and can easily find out things and such... but also- I really like how dedicated and caring Ukyo is. He's so protective and adorable! I really did feel bad for him during his route. I haven't gotten his normal ending yet, but the title of it is so fucking sad and I don't know if I even wanna go for it.

"Do you know Ukyo?"

6. Bustafellows - September 2021

Honestly, when I started playing Bustafellows I didnt expect to like many characters, if any at all. None of them were particularly appealing to me, at least visually... however, as I played the game, I was drawn to Shu and Mozu, as I found Shu to be the most attractive one of the bunch, and Mozu was interesting to me as a coroner. However, the first character I ended up with was... Crow. I was honestly a little surprised, but didn't care too much. I didn't know who I wanted to go with first, and honestly, as the common route progressed... I found myself liking Crow more.

Crow was the one I liked the least out of everyone, at least visually at first. I really didn't like his hair lmao. But as I read the common route, he really grew on me, and I couldn't help but be sweet to him, so ofc I ended up with his route first... and god, I really love him. He's so stupid and adorable. Like seriously.

I went with whoever the game would give me after Crow, and it gave me Helvetica. With Crow, I really loved his character, but didn't care much for his story. It was the opposite for Helvetica. I enjoyed his story a ton, but not his character. I then carried on with Shu, who I loved entirely. Both his character and story was really really good, and his bad ending... phew. Damn dude.

Mozu came after, and I honestly have mixed feelings about his route. I feel like there really needed to be more romance between him and the MC, but the end of his route where he finds his sister is.... oof. I literally went "thats rough buddy" in my head lmao. I felt so bad for him.

I liked Limbo a lot more then I thought I would as well! He was super adorable and sweet, and the story was pretty good too, so I really enjoyed his route. But overall, I believe Shu and Crow are my favs this time around. I can't believe I didn't like Mozu as much as I thought I would! But I feel like I would have liked him a shitton more if there was more to his route then there was.... smh.

Nightshade - September 2021

I almost immediately jumped right into Nightshade, although with doubts of enjoying it in my mind, as I wasnt in the mood for a historical japan setting. However! I loved the characters, and the story! By the end of it, I was thoroughly angry with the antagonists for hurting my BOYS like that...

The first one I went for was Kuroyuki, who I LOVED. I felt a little bit confused throughout his route, but I still quite enjoyed it. A sweet yandere. Babey boy. I love him.

Next was Chojiro, and oooohhhhh boy.... yeah. That was a little rough. BUT I feel like the story was very well suited for him!!! After that I went with Goemon, who was SO SWEET. For a moment, the "plot twist" had me, but then I realized there was no way he was wasn't trying to trick his old clan/the council.

Hanzo was second last, and definitely an unexpected fav! I didnt find him very attractive at first, but seeing him more and more throughout the routes had him growing on me. And I LOVED him! But... I don't like Ieyasu's treatment towards the end of the route; ordering Hanzo to kill the MC after making us thoroughly believe he was a kind man in every other route.... sigh. But I'm happy that he was able to take just the MC's sash instead of her head. I do like that he also told Hanzo to "go get a wife and come back" hehe.

GOD that scene in the cave with Hanzo where youre both naked... YES. And his hair when its wet!!! Hes so adorable AND hot at the same time???? I love Hanzo. Tbh, I love all of them.

Gekka was the last one I did, but I wish I reversed Hanzo/Gekka's positions. Cause I really, *really* didnt like ending on such a sad ending.... dear god. I really thought I got the bad end or something for a hot minute there. Then Gekka comes in! Ahhhh, honestly I didn't like him much at all at first which is why I saved him for last, but his route.... FUCK man. His route was heart wrenching. And he's so damn sweet. I still don't understand how/why he doesn't try to kill the MC in the other routes after the "protection" "curse" is lifted but whatever. Still, the ending... dear god. And all of their graves being dug up... the box of everyone's hair... jesus christ that was morbid. Even that made me mad. I didnt care much for the blonde haired kid who died first, but everyone else after that had such a good part to the story...but I wonder why Kuroyuki lived in every route?

Either way, Nightshade was a lot better then I thought it would be! I loved it!!! I honestly might go back soon and replay Kuroyuki's route now that I know whats going on and I know the characters.... also wanna replay Hanzo's route! Babey ❤

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Rumor Has It {2}

Chris Evans x Famous Reader Uriah “Riah” Tyler

Warning: Nah.

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: Inspired by a video seen of Chris and his co-star Ana De Armas on their press tour for Knives Out at TIFF where she kept touching his chest and face standing about five inches apart.

 Note: Woooow, this was not meant for a part two, but by reception and request here it is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was September, in most parts of the US that meant fall was steadily approaching. In California, it meant a possible six-week extension of summer temps. You felt hotter than usual as if it were actually ninety-nine degrees. You could feel your heart racing as if you’d run a marathon; you could also feel tingles in your belly. Those tingles intensified and traveled through your body. Only Chris could give you those tingles.

   Slowly, you opened your eyes to the blinding Southern California sun beaming in through the window. Squinting you used your hand to shield your eyes. Gasping you arched your back off the bed and felt the telltale sign of your impending orgasm. Your toes curled, and you looked down your body to the bulge underneath the covers. Slowly you lifted the material and stared into the incredible blue eyes of your husband he smiled taking his lips from your core. “Good morning, Kitten.” It was the nickname for you he only used during sinful moments like these. You couldn’t stop your moans. You clamped your thighs closed entrapping his head between them. He wasn’t having it, he pried them open and pressed them to the mattress and went for his no-mercy approach. You were so close—so damn close. Squeezing your eyes shut you chased the promise of release, every few seconds you thought you were there.

   From a distance, you heard loud ringing that wouldn’t stop. It was becoming so distracting that your release got further and further. Finally, the ringing took over everything. Groaning you thrashed in the bed until finally, you jumped up. You looked frantically around the bright room to find you were alone. You looked underneath the covers, but he wasn’t there. Feeling completely frustrated you dropped back into the bed. The only thing that was real was the ringing. You looked ahead across the room to the TV and saw an incoming call. When you looked over to the clock on the bedside table it read two o'clock.

You hated the damn video call high tech equipment that Chris had installed. Looking around the bed for the keyboard to answer the damn thing you quickly got annoyed because it was nowhere in sight. You screamed out in the room and kicked off all the blankets. When you leaned to the edge you saw it on the floor. Once you grasped it you tapped the answer key before you slammed your back to the headboard. When you looked up there was the devil himself. He looked great, perfectly groomed hair and beard, a white polo shirt with one of the buttons at the top unbuttoned and from what you could see dark plaid trousers. Even now, angry with him he got the butterflies in your gut started and your lady bits clenching.

   “Uriah, what the hell I’ve been calling you for almost twelve hours!”

  Those were his first words. Not “Hi honey, I miss you,” or “Let me explain.” You got angry all over again.

   “Excuse me?! Fuck you, Chris. What the hell is right.”

   Chris closed his eyes and sighed as he pinched his nose bridge.

   “No, we are not flying past this first issue which is you not picking up your phone or calling me. You know our rule,” Chris chastised.

   “Don’t throw the rule in my face. I did call you.” He slid to the edge of his seat then and rested his elbows on his knees. You could see the space between his legs where you knew his manhood was and the bulge there made you lick your lips. Rolling your eyes, you hit your head back onto the headboard. Even angry at him, you still wanted him.

   “And left me some crack shit message. I call you back, and you don’t answer. That has been the case for twelve hours Uriah. I didn’t know if you were hurt, or worse. I couldn’t reach you. I’ve asked you to stop doing that.” He only used your full name when he was pissed. You didn’t care if he was pissed. You were pissed!

  “Don’t try to change the subject here, Chris. What the fuck! What is that video?”

   Again, Chris sighed out as if he were deeply annoyed. You almost flew off the handle, lurching forward like he was right before you, you tilted your head to the side. “What Chris? What the fuck are you annoyed with? I know it ain’t me. I’m the only one who should be annoyed right now. Are you fucking kidding me, Evans!”

   He sat there not speaking, just looking at you with his mouth rested on his fist. He always did this when he was waiting for you to finish. It wasn’t a respectful thing like he wanted to be sure you were done speaking before he spoke. No, it was a thing he did when he felt you were going irate for nothing and he was waiting for you to realize it. It always made you angrier, and he knew it. Then you saw his eyes were looking below your eyes. Glancing down you realized you had nothing on, but the flat sheet carelessly tossed across your lap.

   “Helllllooo! Focus,” you shouted while clapping out each syllable before you drew the sheet to cover yourself. He didn’t get to see the goodies; he didn’t deserve it.

   “Just like it’s not okay for me to disrespect you, it’s not cool for you to do it either.”

   “Yet you still disrespect me.”

   “How Uriah? What did I do?”

   “Everybody and their mama saw that video Chris. What did you do?”

   He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off instead, “You’re a married man Chris. Mar-ried!” Again, you stretched each syllable of the word.

   “I think I know that Uriah.” You could hear his rising annoyance. He was usually good at keeping his temper when you argued, but four times out of ten he got just as hot as you especially when you pressed his buttons. Being married you knew all the buttons to press.

   “Do you really? Your actions don’t say it. Why is this woman touching your chest and face Chris? Why? Is there something you need to share with the rest of the class? For the life of me, I don’t know why this woman is touching my husband so intimately!”

   “It was nothing.” Rolling your eyes at the classic response, you leaned your head back on the headboard. You wanted to throw the keyboard into the screen hoping somehow it could teleport through and hit him right in his face.

   “God, I’m tired of saying this every time you see some clearly underhanded video or picture of me with a coworker. It’s nothing; it’s never been anything!”

   He knew you hated him shouting at you. Nothing riled you up more than a man shouting at you. You didn’t know if it brought you back to when you were younger in previous relationships, or maybe you just hated to feel talked down to. “Don’t fucking shout at me!”

   He leaned back and looked up into the ceiling of his room, another sign he was close to flipping out. “If this were me, would you be cool?” He didn’t respond, so you continued. “If there was some video of my costar or modeling partner touching my chest and face, would you be cool?” You saw the tight clench of his jaw and the flare of his nose. You knew the answer already, but you needed him to switch perspectives. He rubbed his face and brought his elbows back to his knees and stared at you.

   “That’s different, and you know it. You have breasts; if a man is touching your chest he is touching your breasts.” You rolled your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. You’d had a headache since seeing that video, and it was getting worse. You felt the prickle of unshed tears but refused to let them fall.

“You stood there and let her touch you. Where are the lines, Chris? Where are the boundaries? When I did the press tour for Blue Earth you told me you didn’t like Gerald’s hand placement on my mid-back, a mid-back. What did I say? I said okay, consider it done. The next photo op it was solved, it’s remained solved. We’ve had this conversation three times now Chris. Nothing has changed. If you’re not setting these boundaries for these women, there is none. You are fair game. If you’re not setting the boundaries then our marriage is shit.” You didn’t look at him while you spoke. You looked at your toes; you knew if you looked up and into those ocean blue eyes you’d crumble and cry. The silence stretched longer, and your anxiety rose.

   “You said you trusted me.”

   They weren’t the words you wanted to hear, and since they weren’t the dam broke, and you felt the hot stream of tears roll down your cheeks. You did your best to keep your face as low as possible. “Should I Chris?” Your voice betrayed you; the pain was evident. You hated it. You heard Chris release a rush of breath.

   “I don’t know Uriah, should you?” Your heart sank. Glancing up to the screen, he sat there silent and still with his hands rested under his chin looking into the camera. His expression softened. Just then there was a knock at the door on his end, then a woman’s voice. “All right Chris we’re ready to move. We have thirty minutes to get there. Ready?” He looked to you on the screen, and you scoffed before you wiped your cheeks.

  “Why did you ask me to marry you and then do it if you still wanted to live like a bachelor? Why do this whole song and dance? You know what? I’m so glad I decided to hold off on kids. You do whatever you want Evans, I’ll be sure to do the same.” You ended the call, and the video feed then threw the keyboard as it shattered you sunk your head to your lap and cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And just like that, we have another series. SMH.

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy 

[enchantechante]

I messaged you part one 10/26. Here's a resolution, two weeks later. It was a rough couple weeks and we ultimately broke up. I never asked her to be my girlfriend. I mourn that. I believed this could've been a life changing experience. The first month September let me know love can be found again. October? Nah. We made it through last week despite the elephant in the room. This past Sunday we decided to talk Tuesday, election night, which isn't great timing in retrospect lol. I arrived and we were both a bit off. While watching election results come in, I told her I was going for a walk. Went to a local store to get flowers. Gave them to her. Told her although we have issues I think they can be resolved and until then I'm here for her. She thanked me took a pic for her snapchat story and continued to be distant. I told her I'm uncomfortable, love her, but leaving because it doesn't seem we're in the same place emotionally anymore. Wednesday I sent an admittedly angry text about how I'm fighting against a desire to walk away. She called said it was over. We've talked a couple times but the last time this morning/afternoon 11/6. For several hours. Starting at 8 am. One of those type of conversation smh. It ranges from insecure to loving to what do we do to I don't even know. She was over it. I thought we could work it out. I insisted she block me. I've been feeling disconnected for weeks. I'm still looking for that connection from her. I needed a clean break or else I'd keep looking for that from her cuz I'm not strong enough to walk away and not look back. She made some jokes, some were funny. After a certain point I got frustrated. In the convo today I told her several times I loved her but the last words I said were fuck you. She got off the phone and blocked me. I'm devastated I spoke such ugly words to her as a final statement, but any honest assessment knows that I love you was said several times. But it's done either way. Not entirely happy about it. But it is what it is. Just an update for ya. Crammed two weeks in one post lol. Thoughts? I feel there are some highs and lows in my end. Would like to know what you think

@goodmorningbae-tv

[madzilla84]

update

Did anyone ask for one? No. Does anyone want it? Probably not … I guess there’s still some small part of me that misses having a Livejournal.

In general, things have been - better. I started going outside a bit more from late-ish July, but honestly I don’t know if I started feeling better because I started going out, or if I started going out because I was feeling better…? A mystery. But mood tracking app - surely a reliable source of mental health info lmao - seems to agree:

(woohoo, only ‘significant burden’! i think that’s about the best you could hope for in 2020. and this was a few weeks ago, and I feel better now than I did then, so.)

I’ve been off work for the last 3 weeks - nothing wrong, just 2 weeks of scheduled annual leave, which I needed very much (I think part of why I was feeling bad was because I hadn’t had a break since February), and last week I had a week of jury duty. The break was much needed and I can feel the difference.

I started exercising again in July, and ugggggggh ok fine I admit I do feel better because of it. I’m never gonna be a gym bunny, I’ll probably never *love* it but I can’t deny the benefits. I go 3 times a week which is enough for me. (Though I only went twice last week and this week - last week I was pretty wrecked after court each day and this week I am focussing on being lazy.) Going outside again was strange at first, like the previous 4 months hadn’t happened, but it didn’t take long to feel (mostly) normal again.

I’ve also had a couple of social things, which has been nice - one lunch out at an outdoor restaurant, and one bbq at a friend’s house. (She moved in recently at the end of my street; while I was sitting in her living room I could look out of the window at my own flat. Weird!) I’ve been thinking a lot about Dan’s tweet about who he realised he wants in his life after lockdown, and it’s just. Interesting.

I’m DELIGHTED it’s September and the start of the best months, the -embers and -obers; it’s still pretty warm and mostly sunny here but it’s really nice, the bite’s gone out of the warmth. Not long now until it Gs the FO entirely. \o/ I’m still playing Animal Crossing every day, (unlike some people, smh poor abandoned Pickle). 

Jury duty last week was fascinating. I didn’t even know if I’d get picked - they call more than twice as many people as they need in case anyone can’t do it for whatever reason (if one of the lawyers is a family friend or something), but I did end up being chosen. (No. 12!!) We were the first post-covid jury, and the first socially distanced one. 

I *can* talk about the case now it’s over, but I don’t think I will, because the subject matter could be pretty triggering, but it was often a tough week given the nature of it. Having said that, something about it was very satisfying. It was fascinating to see how the courts and lawyers worked, and the whole process, and it was good to work with the other jurors. (Days on end of talking to actual humans was actually pretty good, for the most part.) We were all just thrown together, and we had differences of opinion of course, but it was still a good experience to work with them. It felt good to be part of something like that, something that mattered, and to feel like a part of the community in such a real way. I can be quite good at putting aside emotion to look at the letter of the law, which in a case like this can be very challenging; some of the other jurors struggled with it a great deal. (This isn’t to blow my own trumpet or anything; many would argue it was *me* who had the problem, in much the same way they often say lawyers are heartless, which isn’t true most of the time)

The case ended up being dismissed as the jury couldn’t reach a consensus - we got slated on social media (which of course I didn’t look at during the case, I caught up after), but we all stuck to our convictions and I know it was right; there’s a lot the public didn’t know or understand. As tough a case as it was, I’m glad I got to do it, it was a privilege in many ways. (But, I wouldn’t mind if it was a long time until I had to do it again, you know? lol.)

We had our phones taken from 9-5 while we were working - it’s the law - and I thought it was gonna be the worst after being glued to it constantly, but it was actually quite nice lmao. Not that I didn’t end up glued to it again once the case was over.

Fandom-wise, I have - finally - ended up taking a step back from the phandom a little bit in the last month or two. I want to talk about that a bit because it’s a complicated topic, and I see a lot of concerning posts - mainly on Twitter - that if you don’t maintain a certain level of dedication, if you join another fandom or get into something else or aren’t sufficiently devoted and supportive you - aren’t a true fan? Or something? Lots of posts along the lines of, ‘all these people getting into kpop/tv show/whatever, smh, don’t think we won’t remember when dan’s project drops and you all come running back’. It’s just a bit - weird? Like, it’s *perfectly normal* if people get into other stuff while dnp are cooking whatever they’re cooking (or not cooking, or whatever)? Or just move on, but still enjoy D&P? 

I’m not, like, dramatically leaving the fandom or anything. Hell, I haven’t *left* the fandom at all, I’m still here every day, it’s - more of a mental shift. Because prior to July/August-ish this year I really wasn’t in a good place with it. I wrote a thing earlier this year about struggling with writing, and belonging while not being a content creator, and other things … the issue is that, as I tend to do with my fandoms, I get too overinvested. And sometimes, that’s okay - whatever gets you through the night and all that - but in this case, I wasn’t enjoying it any more. Some parts I was - I’ve made the best friends I’ve ever had in a fandom here, and I really like seeing everyone on here - but in general, I was spending a lot of my time feeling anxious, resentful, worried, angry and frustrated. I spent a lot of last year and almost all of this one waiting for Godot; hating the “new normal” and desperately waiting for - something that’s never going to come. I just couldn’t deal with it; probably for reasons bigger than just D&P but that’s how it manifested. I got more and more frustrated by the content we were getting because it wasn’t what I’d hoped, and I hated feeling like that. It took up way too much of my thoughts and every day was just waiting, and wondering, and worrying. And I got so, so sick of it.

So, where am I now? Well, it was inevitable really, but I just started to - let go, a bit. I didn’t throw my hands up and go, ’bah, screw these guys!’, my mental focus just shifted (for my own good), and I started focussing on other things. Other fandoms. Games and hobbies I can distract myself with. I’ll admit it wouldn’t necessarily have been my *choice*, you know? But reality is what it is and I’m - relieved, really, that I’m not unnecessarily tormenting myself about it any more. It took me a long time to reach this place - too long, really - and, for now at least, it’s kind of nice. I can just enjoy things if/when they pop up without the accompanying sadness and anger about how everything is changed, about what has ended and what I’ve “lost”. (And it’s not 100%, by the way; it’s still there, just - quiet, now.) I can look at, I dunno, someone’s gifs of Dan or whatever, and just smile about it rather than feeling that grief. (Or, feel it, but not to the exclusion of everything else.) It’s - nicer.

And it isn’t at *all* that I don’t care any more, I still love them, of course I do, and will continue to follow them and watch everything they do. I’m not going anywhere. I still have notifs on, though they don’t quite send my heart into my throat like they did. ;) In a way it’s helping me love them more, because now when I watch them I enjoy it more, appreciating the fun and the bants without laser-focussing on my own anger and sadness. I’m still attending our little daily phannie watch-alongs, where we watch a couple of eps of DAPG and an anime. I’m still on phandom tumblr/twitter on the daily. It just - has a slightly smaller portion of my brain and mental energy now.

It was a step I needed to take, but also one I’m not sure I could have *chosen* to take, not without deliberately leaving and cutting it all off completely? And I didn’t want to do that. I’d hoped I’d get to this place earlier than this - some 20 months after the fact - but better late than never, I suppose.

(Also, disclaimer - fandom and the human heart are funny things, and I fully accept I can and probably will be sucked completely back in at any time.)

Anyway! SEE YOU AT THE QUIZ :D

[betterpathoflyfe]

Uni Spring Cleaning - 9/10/20

Alright, so I need to get my assignments, tasks, (life) etc. in order (a sort of spring cleaning, if you will). And, since that’s gonna result in a large to-do list, I figured I’d create a blogpost out of it (you see that? Consistency.). That being said, this is what needs to get done tomorrow (since I don’t have classes on Fridays) and this weekend/this coming week:

Homework Assignments:

PSY-333 --> COMPLETED REQUIRED ASSIGNMENTS

send a topic + references of research that has investigated same issue (due Monday) --> completed (9/11) (topic: measuring burnout in educators)

optional: look over articles (if time permits)

PSY-260 --> COMPLETED REQUIRED ASSIGNMENTS

group work (answer the questions in advance) (due Monday) --> completed (9/11)

figure out the function of behavior --> access to things/activities (with spending) + escape/avoidance from an unpleasant stimuli (kind of b/c he’s avoiding saving)

figure out what behavior I want to change that I can measure!! (due Monday) --> completed (9/11) (I’m going to stick with increasing exercise rates, which will have a domino effect on other aspects of my mental)

optional: review the videos (if time permits)

REA-310 --> COMPLETED ASSIGNMENTS

look at revised schedule --> completed (9/11)

add to calendar: final exam is on Monday, Dec. 14th from 4:15-6:15PM via Blackboard --> completed (9/11)

PSY-363

resubmit answers for article (due tomorrow) --> completed (9/11)

read and annotate the rest of the article (due Tuesday)

Answer Q: which participants do not improve?

also look at Stroop data (Table 3 --> how do we know cognition has changed in said direction?)

begin summary paper (due Thursday)

quiz 2 (on chapter 3) in week 2 folder (due Thursday)

PSY-305 --> COMPLETED ASSIGNMENTS

answer discussion post (due tomorrow) --> completed (9/11)

read articles and handouts (take notes where I see fit) (due Wednesday) --> completed (9/11) (I was today years old when I found out that psychology grad programs could care less about extracurriculars...smh)

look at powerpoint from week 2 --> completed (9/11)

Chapter Notes:

PSY-333: Chapter 2 (online textbook)

PSY-260: Chapters 1-3

REA-310: Unit 2 (3 if time permits)

don’t forget about note-sheets on Blackboard

PSY-363: Chapter 3

Psych Club Related:

draft email for panel discussion --> completed (9/13)

email treasurer the finance book (if he doesn’t have it already) --> completed (9/13)

reach out to participant about panel discussion

did we ever get on to the BSU president

look back at the email advisor sent to the other representatives

send mass email to the panelists about it

learn how to create an email list --> completed (9/13)

create invoice for Student Activities IOT get reimbursed for yoga night --> completed (9/13)

learn how to record a BlueJeans session --> completed (9/13)

look up virtual gift cards --> completed (9/13)

ask advisor who runs the supsychdept social media rn? --> completed (9/13)

come up with a few more questions for September’s panel discussion

figure out deadlines for submitting advertising to the Portal/Text Alerts for meeting agenda --> completed (9/13) (for the text alerts, 1 week in advance; for flyer, just needs approval)

reach out to VP concerning second meeting

look into those virtual games --> completed (9/13)

create a general meeting powerpoint (after next e-board meeting)

meeting agenda next week

notify them of my switch to remote learning

discuss emails that have been received thus far

general meetings

won’t be too many, more so events

discuss the opportunity of having virtual meeting and  in-person meeting on another day if E-board members still want to get out of their dorms

update on SGA meeting?

September’s panel discussion (would be in one week, the 25th, 4-6pm)

advertising!!

Email Student Activities for approval

update on yoga night

create a flyer or notify student activities to make one?

update on Kahoot sessions

VP does psych round Qs

see if senator can create Disney round Qs

see if treasurer can create Sport round Qs

discuss virtual gift cards

fundraising update??

“detailed” explanation of Brain Bee Competition

look at the file that was shared to me so that I can cover everything + advisor’s email about what is needed on a general note

movie night idea

daily share (if we have time...don’t want to get too overwhelmed with things that we can do/events that we can have)

Other:

look up recipes to start up meal prep again --> completed (9/11) (I knew how I wanted to meal prep for breakfast and dinner, but was still trying to figure out lunch! I’m going to be doing chicken, rice, and broccoli, need raisins, need eggs)

write France-Merrick scholarship letter + find professional pic (or go on campus to have it taken)

Reminder: if i have a question for a prof, provide the course number in email subject line --> got it! completed (an email today, actually) (9/11)

check out Patdown podcast

listen to Leah’s new episode on podcast --> completed (9/11)

blogpost ideas

experiment we did in PSY-363 (face blindness)

stepping into independence

outfit looks

find picture of myself to print out

clean out phone (pics & apps) --> completed (9/12)

decide on a new workout regime --> completed (9/13) (I’m gonna do the Chloe Ting 2 week shred again, starting...today? Today.)

Work Study funds --> completed (9/12)

THAT’S ABOUT ALL I GOT. It’s not like that’s a lot or anything though, right?

Right...

Let me get ready for bed, pray, and watch a few episodes of Naruto (is that a good order?) before falling asleep lol.

“She knows that God is the only reason she has made it this far”

~ May the Author

[greatell]

I’m glad Jason went with Sam to Alexis place because that is a family issue they should be working on together or at least supporting Alexis. Like you said Monica & Bobby have money so them being fired isn’t that big of a deal. Plus we have missed out on some family moments so I’m expecting to see Jake over for Halloween like when Jason first came home. Lmao even Alexis is like gurl Jason is finally home be with him. I wish Molly or Kristina came around this sl requires all Davis girls.

I was surprised he went. I figured we were in for another second of them together followed immediately by them going their separate ways. But it was nice to see Jason step up for his family even if he looked like he wanted to stab his eyes out the whole time at Alexis place 😂.

It isn’t. Like I get they’ve both worked there for so long and it’s more than a job for them but they both knew this was a possibility once they messed with Wiley’s medical papers. Michael even said GH could shutter its doors and his grandmothers be destitute and they’d be okay as long as Wiley was safe from Nelle. Sam’s not at fault. She’s done plenty of dumb stuff the last couple years but this isn’t one of them. She didn’t know what Valentin would do with her proxy or that he was buying up other shares like Brook Lynn did. And she didn’t give up her shares and warn him of the emergency board meeting like Skye. And even with her proxy he didn’t have controlling interest. Lucy’s 1% gave him that.

The teens were talking about homecoming so Halloween should be soon with it being September on the show. I’ll hold out hope for a Morgan family dress up like a 🤡. And I’m really wishing we got more Davis girls scenes. So much has happened to all of them and they’re all MIA for the other. Sam was arrested, put on trial, and jailed and her family was mostly absent. Alexis nearly died twice and Neil dies and all they can muster up for her for support is Julian?? Smh

[emmyrosee]

His Little Lamb (18+)

OH LORD OKAY- tune me out because this isn’t important but I feel like I should put a tiny warning; this is one of the most messy things I’ve ever written (yes, I know, crazy right?)  because of certain things that are going on in my neck of the woods. HOWEVER, this has also been in the works for about a week and a half non-stop, so there was no way in hell I was not gonna not publish it. I crave validation, what can I say? I’m also incredibly, indescribably sick, so there are certain parts of this that I am very proud of, while others are rushed and messy. This is also written in First Person, which I very rarely do, so please (nicely, I cry easy) tell me how I did with that.

Regardless of my garbage, I hope you enjoy :)

WARNINGS: (I honest to God don’t know what to put here smh) SMUT. SMUTTY SMUTTY SMUT WITH WEIRD TRACES OF FLUFF. DUNCAN’S KINDA A BULLY.  ORAL, MALE RECEIVING, LIKE, A LOT. RIDING DUNCAN, PUBLIC (i think public?) SEX, DON’T READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!

Fratboy!Duncan x Fem!Reader; after a fun night with the legendary Duncan Shepherd, he becomes smitten with you, and you soon learn the truth about the fraternity’s strange system of dating by the hands of The Shepherd.

When I stepped into the warm night of September, walking to a party that I had heard about on campus, I hadn’t expected a domino-like effect, leading me to meet the campus famous fraternity brother, Duncan Shepherd. I had definitely heard of him and his crazy, famous parties from girls around, almost like a modern day, scholarship winning Jay Gatsby.

Of course, no had told me that you don’t challenge this modern Jay Gatsby at anything, unless you’re ready to prove your talents and worth to him.

Especially beer pong, apparently. Or so I’ve learned.

“Yo, I wanna play!” I squealed, plopping down to a tall, handsome brunette on some random couch. A game of beer pong had just wrapped up, and a new set had been put up immediately after.

The man grinned before taking a sip of his drink, “You any good, doll?”

“I’m not too bad- never lost through high school, but I haven’t played since I’ve gotten here.”

“You think you’re good enough to beat Duncan Shepherd?” He asked, brows cocked.

I shrugged, “maybe. Don’t know if he could tolerate losing to a chick though.”

He chuckled, “why don’t you ask him?”

“Where is he?” I asked smugly. The man bit his tongue as his answer, making a shiver shoot down my spine. “Oh my God,” I whispered, blushing from embarrassment. “I-“

“No worries, but you couldn’t beat me a beer pong if you tried, doll,” he sneered, standing up and grabbing the small ping pong ball.

I grinned, relieved at his chilled and lax nature. I grabbed my own ping pong balls, “try me. Loser has to strip.”

“Hope you’ve got a cute bra on,” he purred.

There was not one unimpressed person in the party.

To his amazement, I sunk my last ping pong ball into the last of Duncan’s red solo cups. The crowd went crazy, chanting my name as I stood in just a tank top and pants while Duncan was left in his jeans with a grin.

“Impressive, baby.”

“Thanks, handsome man,” I said, crossing my arms, “but I want my prize.” My eyes traveled to his jeans, smirk on my cheeks.

Licking his teeth, Duncan nodded, “Ight, Ight, it’s only fair.” His hands traveled to his zipper and he teasingly undid it, everyone standing around cheering him on. “Ta-da.” He sang, dropping his jeans around his ankles.

Of course it was a marvelous sight. It was Duncan Shepherd, it had to be

Black, tight underwear left little to the imagination, meaty thighs shameless in their display much like the man that possessed them.

“Alright you damn show horse,” I couldn’t help but tease, walking up to him and wrapping my arms around his neck, “you can stop making the other boys feel bad.”

“That’s my forte, doll.” He snickered. “And if I’m a show horse, I’m desperate to know what that makes you.”

“Wouldn’t I be your Little Lamb, Mr Shepherd?” I asked, pressing my hips against his. His underwear did a poor job of separating us, the surprise friction making me bite my lip.

“Creative,” Duncan said, grinning. His arms wrapped around my waist, “you wanna get outta here? Come back to the house?”

I chuckled, “I feel like you’d be bad for my grades.”

Duncan scoffed, “Nah, I’m harmless. I gotta be. Dean’s always on my ass about shit, gotta stay on my toes.”

I giggled coyly at him, slowly moving my hands down his chest. “I better get back to my dorm,” I said, pouting. “But thank you for the show, Mr Shepherd.”

“Any time, little lamb,” he purred, pushing a strand of hair out of my face. “Want me to walk you back?”

“Sure,” I agreed, “it’s not far from here.” I smiled up at him, pulling away.

“Let me just grab my clothes, doll.” He whispered. He quickly buckled his jeans and slid on his discarded clothes before reaching for my hand and guiding me out of the party.

We walked back to my dorm in comfortable silence, hand in hand underneath the bright street lamps and dazzling stars. Duncan was different from the standard frat boy image- his face was older, the dark stubble on his face contrasting the innocent brightness of his eyes. The firm, protective grasp of his hand in mine was comforting and warm, making a heat wash over my body.

We passed the threshold to get inside my dorm complex, the luxury of having a room on the first floor suddenly seeming like a betrayal to cut our time short.

“Here we are.” I said, letting go of his hand. He sighed gently before jamming his fists in his pockets.

“Yeah,” he said, “I guess we are.”

“Thank you for keeping me safe, Mr Shepherd.”

“Any time, doll,” he said with a smile. He leaned against my doorframe and watched me fumble around with my keypad.

Finally, my room unlocked and I was allowed inside, giving Duncan a kiss goodnight as compensation.

That’s where I thought it would end.

I was quite wrong.

The next morning I had gone out to breakfast with some friends as we walked around campus, some of them more curious about my night with Duncan than I was ready to tell.

“How big was his dick? Word around campus is it’s 8 inches.”

“Did his stubble feel weird on your thighs?”

“No hickeys that I can see, huh? Kinky.”

“You guys,” I scolded, “nothing happened. He walked me home like a gentleman and that was it.”

“Boring,” they crooned.

Despite my assuring that nothing happened, my friends refused to let it go, all day that we were out they demanded to know about the events of the night before.

But Duncan’s true impact on the campus was only cemented in my mind when I met The Shepherd.

A small envelope on my door would be my entrance to his realm, and I was never more curious than when I saw who the letter was made out to.

Little lamb read the crude writing.

Picking up the small, white envelope, my heart pounded in my chest, shaking hands made it difficult to open.

I couldn’t pin point why I was so nervous. Maybe he was angry that I beat him. Maybe he was just trying to ask me out.

Finally, I opened it.

Little lamb,

Interest has been piqued. The Shepherd wishes to speak to you. Tonight. 830.

Be there.

Confused, I slipped the letter into my pocket and swiftly walked into my dorm, disappointed that my roommate wasn’t there to give advice.

I wasn’t even sure if I should go. I had a great time with Duncan, he seemed normal enough for a rich frat boy, but it’s always a stupid idea to go somewhere and have no one know.

I looked at the clock, pissed to see the red lights flashing 5:30. I had to make my decision and make it quick. If I went, god knows what would happen to me, what him and his friends would do.

However, if I didn’t go, he could get relentless, and I’ve learned there’s nothing scarier in a man than rage.

Fuck it, I said to myself, let’s go.

The three hours leading up to me going to meet Duncan flew by in a blur, and I had to dash out the door in order to make it to his frat house on time.

I knocked on the large door, and within seconds, a tall, broad brother peeled through the door, “name?”

“Uh... Y/N?”

“Business?”

“I’m uh, looking for The Shepherd?” I asked, looking back at the note. The man’s eyes widened and he swiftly unlocked the door.

“You must be Duncan’s little lamb.”

I shrugged, “I guess?”

“They’re waiting for you,” he said lowly, stepping out of my way. I nodded at the strangeness and entered the large house. I was impressed and a little freaked out with the decor, the school’s colors shamelessly splayed everywhere. Couches, pillows, pictures of past fraternity brothers hung, judging me for coming here, as if knowing something I didn’t.

“Ah, there’s my little lamb.” Duncan’s familiar voice called as I turned into the room. I nodded despite the strange nickname, “yup. I made it.”

The rest of the brothers clapped and whistled at me, making me blush in embarrassment.

“Welcome to the house, little lamb.” He proudly opened his arms to his house, making his friends all clap and hoot like wild beasts.

I chuckled awkwardly, waiting for the brothers to calm down.

Once they did, Duncan’s attention was refocused on me, sending a shiver down my spine.

“Now then- change into these,” Duncan commanded, tossing a pile of clothes at me.

I caught them, and my jaw dropped at them.

The too-small piled consisted of Duncan’s letterman jacket, the same one he was wearing the night I beat him, and a kilted mini skirt, much, much too short for any sort of imagination.

“D-Do I have to?” I asked, voice trembling.

“Well, if you really wanna roll with the Shepherd, little lamb,” he husked, tipping my chin up with soft fingers, “you gotta prove the pack.”

“H-how?” I quivered.

A smug grin spread across his cheeks, his thumb tracing my lower lip, “you’re gonna put on a little show for us, and in turn, you become one of us. We protect you from the wolves, my pretty little lamb.”

“I... I still don’t understand!” I cried, lips trembling in fright.

Duncan crouched down in front of me, mockingly pouting his lip out, “come on dolly, don’t want that pretty face to cry,” his large thumb swiped under my eye, taking up the tear before brining the salty liquid to his tongue. “I’ll take care of ya, don’t you worry.”

“W-Why me?”

“What can I say? Got me interested.” He licked his teeth under his grin, standing back up, “Alright boys. Let’s give her some privacy to change, I’ll be back in five to check on you, little lamb.”

The boys all left, Duncan even winking at me as he closed the door.

As anxious and tense as I was, I did as I was told and began to undress, the fright in my chest making it hard to breathe.

This was a mistake.

I just knew.

Duncan’s letterman jacket taunted me like a predator to its prey, the much-too-tiny-skirt to match is just as rude to my self esteem.

I contemplated leaving, just walking out with not a word. I had no reason to be here, I flirted with him for a night and now I’m his ‘little lamb?’

So weird.

Of course, this conclusion and idea to leave had blossomed as I had already slid on Duncan’s jacket and the miniskirt, not sure how I looked due to the lack of mirrors. Probably to save girls from having to look at themselves, the shame in my chest would’ve been cemented if I had seen my lack of rational thought.

I jumped as the door slowly opened, Duncan’s familiar face filling the frame.

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered, sinful smirk on his face, “you’re gonna be quite the show, baby.”

“You still haven’t told me what this is about...” I said, pulling his jacket around me to shield me a little.

Duncan threw his arms out, “what’s there to say? Every brother gets his name and his chick. I’m the Shepherd, you’re my little lamb. Michael’s the devil, his girl would be his angel. Get it?”

“I could do without the theatrics, Duncan.” I said, a lace of anger in my voice. He shrugged and called his friends back in, the catcalls from them rang in my ears like a gong to remind me just how vulnerable I am to their smitten eyes.

“Are you wearing your panties, baby girl?” Duncan asked, rubbing his stubbled chin.

“Yes?” I answered. The shakiness in my voice gave away my confusion as to why I would have to remove them.

Duncan clicked his tongue, “no no, thats not gonna fly. They’re gonna have to come off, baby.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he lowered his voice, “tradition. Off. Now.”

After a brief moment of pause, I tenderly pulled my underwear over my knees and down my legs, tossing them aside neglected.

“Good,” he purred. “Touch yourself.”

I froze, “w-what?”

“Touch. Yourself.” He commanded again, just as stern as the previous time.

I looked between the men encircling me, heart beating faster and full of embarrassment and in a weird way, arousal.

The heat resonation off of my core betrayed her, and I bit my lip anxiously.

“I...can’t do it in front of people-“

“You’re dripping, doll.” One of his friends piped, “the skirt doesn’t hide it, in case you were wondering.”

“Awww,” Duncan cooed, smirking smugly at the embarrassed girl before him, “someone must like all this attention, huh you little slut?”

I looked up at him, like a deer in headlights, opening my mouth to speak but no words come out.

Crouching down in front of me, Duncan gently grabbed my wrist and guided it down to my heat, long fingers gently pressing my own to my clit. My jaw dropped as delicious pressure circled tightly on my sensitive bud.

“That’s a good girl,” Duncan whispered, “keep going, little lamb.” He stood up, slowly sliding off his leather jacket and tossing it to the side, keeping his eyes locked on me like a predator to his prey. “Put a finger in there, baby girl. I want you nice and wet for me.”

I obeyed, much to my own confusion, and I slowly pushed a finger inside, eyes rolling back in my head as they found the spongy wall inside of me.

The men encircling me had begun to palm themselves at the sight, but Duncan stood as still as he could, watching my show with no sympathy.

As I started to become erratic to the touches to my clit, I couldn’t help but began to sweat in Duncan’s letterman, skirt becoming damp with my fluids. I was almost disappointed in myself, hoeing around in front of these complete strangers for a status that in 5 years won’t even matter.

But right now, being ‘Duncan Shepherd’s Little Lamb?’

That’s all that matters to me.

“Ahh!” I screamed, tossing my head back in pleasure, “p-please! C-can I cum?”

In mock sympathy, Duncan tilted his head, “naw, can my little lamb not take a little fingering?” He straightened his neck, “don’t you dare cum on those pretty little fingers, doll.”

“But-“

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

Alongside the chuckling from Duncan’s friends, their own cocks straining against their jeans, I merely mewled at myself, sliding my fingers hesitantly out of my dripping heat. “N-now what?”

He took a condom out of his shallow denim pocket and grinned, “now’s the real show, little lamb,” he sat on the large couch, thighs spread wide as he pat his left muscle, “hop on.”

I couldn’t move. I was so stunned that I was actually here, let alone about to let Duncan ram himself inside of me while horny yes-men watch.

Slowly, I began to crawl over to Duncan, other men whistling at the exposure of my slick thighs and red cunt peaking from under my skirt.

I pulled myself onto Duncan’s lap, legs spread wide and open over his. He smiled down at me smugly and grabbed my hips tightly. “You ready for me baby?”

“Y-yes.” I whispered, tilting my head away from his gaze. I was snapped back to him when his soft lips attacked my neck, biting and sucking roughly. His hand left my hips as he began to undo his jeans, tent bigger now that I was so close to him.

He slid his hard member out, “Alright boys. You know the drill.”

One by one, jeans and pants were dropped, cocks being strained against boxers.

“Ready, Shepherd,” the crowd said, grabbing their cocks and teasing them.

Face completely red from embarrassment, I merely listened to the sounds of skin slapping skin, hands laying on Duncan’s chest as if to ask to wake up from this dream.

But this wasn’t a dream.

And I made the choice to stay with him.

Instead, Duncan gently adjusted me to sit on his length, sliding it inside with no hesitation.

“AH!” I cried, screwing my eyes shut and throwing my head back. The stretch of Duncan inside me was indescribably delicious, and I hated myself for liking it. Duncan gripped my hips again, slowly setting a pace for me to bounce on.

“Oh, and one more thing, little lamb,” he husked, licking the bite that he just created on my neck. “You’re the last to cum.”

“No! I-I can’t hold that!” I whined, bouncing harder, “please!”

A hard, commanding hand came down on my ass and I arched her back with a loud moan. “Don’t be a brat, little lamb,” Duncan growled, roughly grasping my jaw. “You’re not gonna like me if I’m mad.”

“Y-yes sir,” I whimpered, slowly getting back to my original pace on his lap.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “keep going, baby girl.”

“Yo, Duncan,” one of his friends interrupted, “can I get some of that?”

Duncan looked over my shoulder at someone, although I wasn’t sure who was asking.

“Yes,” came Duncan’s answer, “let’s make this more interesting.” He gently pat my ass to make me get off, but everything was so tense I couldn’t move. The lack of release and the thick air in the room were absolutely the cause. “Come on doll,” he commanded, slapping my ass hard again, “move it.”

“Where?”

“Next to me. Hands and knees.” He commanded.

Numbly, as if to know what was coming, I obeyed, arching my back like a cat and waited for the pressure between my hips to return.

Which it did, of course.

I bit her lip in awkward pleasure as Duncan slid into me, new position making it harder to predict his next move.

“Jim,” his husky voice called from behind me, “you’re up. Come ‘ere.”

One of Duncan’s frat brothers, a tall, handsome brunette apparently named Jim looked down at me sweetly, almost sorry for me, stroking my bottom lip comfortingly.

“Are you ready for me, beautiful?”

Despite the quick, hard thrusts of Duncan’s hips and the poorly made ponytail in his hand, I nodded, parting my lips slightly to welcome Jim’s hard, flushed member past. In tandem with Duncan’s thrusts and pace, I took his cock deeper and deeper down my throat, shaky hand gripping what I couldn’t manage. Jim groaned in sweet arousal, grabbing the back of my head gently to help me slightly with my bobbing.

He was strangely ginger with his touches, contrasting with the rough forcing from Duncan.

But we had to move on.

Once I laid my tongue flat against Jim’s head, hollowing my cheeks to finally break him in order to find my own release, I knew it was over for him. “O-Oh fuck, that’s it babe- I’m gonna cum,” Jim groaned, tugging my hair. He stayed true to his promise, spilling his seed down my throat. I swallowed it greedily, heat coating the back of my throat like honey. What else could I do?

The other brothers who participated, quite literally, came and left.

After Jim came Derek, a lanky blonde who was not nearly as gentle as Jim.

Then Seth, brunette hockey player that I knew from around campus.

Then Michael, another tall blonde that looked at me with even less sympathy than Derek.

Then Andy.

Brad.

Brendan.

Josh.

James.

Evan.

Dominic.

Finally came Matt, who instead of making me swallow, gave me a facial, sticking to my eyelashes and heated cheeks, smirking as he did.

I genuinely didn’t know which she appreciated more- the facials because I could merely wipe him off or the constant stickiness of various boys down my raw, aching throat. The ordeal had been over, and finally I could be with Duncan alone.

My hips and pussy hurt like nothing I’d ever felt before, secretly hating Duncan for keeping his promise of a show. His constant and relentless pounding had my entire existence molded around him, so close to that delicious brink of stars.

Tired and overstimulated, I choked back a sob when Duncan finally whispered “cum for me, my brave, strong little lamb.”

Everything in me snapped, I don’t know what came over me. Once I was given the chance, my thighs collapsed, arms gave out and it was only then that I cried from a mix of pain and pleasure from my abused walls.

Duncan followed, spilling his hot cum inside his condom before slowly pulling out and throwing it away, his own walking shaky. “Come here, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up,” he whispered, gently picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom. I wanted to protest and tell him I could walk, but my everything fucking hurt. He set me down on the cool countertop, making me arch and whimper against the contrast to the overheating of my body. It felt really good, the cool granite on my thighs, but it would feel even better if my body hadn’t been so stimulated just seconds before.

Duncan smiled and gingerly dabbed me with a warm, comforting washcloth, cleaning me rather poorly of sweat, jizz and my tear tracks.

“I didn’t think they’d ask,” he admitted, earning a exhausted glare from me. “You really did impress us.”

I said nothing.

He sighed, “I get that you’re pissed at me. I don’t blame you.”

“I’m not pissed,” I said, voice breaking. “I’m in pain and tired from it.”

He tilted his head adorably, like a small puppy and I nearly forgot just how much I’d endured to see him like that.

“Your clothes are fucked,” I tried to joke, voice gone from the maltreatment of my throat.

Duncan chuckled, “that’s not my worry right now.” He handed me a small Dixie cup full of mouthwash, “here. Stay the night. I’ll get you home once you can walk again.”

I nodded, gratefully taking the minty mouthwash from him. I swished it around until it was a pure froth, spitting it and whatever else came up back into the sink.

“Here, I’ll get you some clothes,” Duncan said, leaving the bathroom to only return moments later with a black shirt and boxers, “may be a little big, but it’ll work, right?”

I nodded, sliding on the roomy clothes. They smelt like him, that kinda helped the recovery.

“Let me be the first to say congratulations, little lamb,” Duncan whispered, gently picking my exhausted body up again and carrying me to his room, “you’re one of us now. Top of the food chain, baby.”

I weakly smiled, hand caressing his stubbled cheek, “I can’t wait for you to show me what you can do when it’s just us, Show Horse.”

I felt the tent in his pants grow again.

Taglist💕~ Thank you for your support, baby!

@sojournmichael

@rosegoldrichie

@avesatanormalpeoplescareme

@peachesandfern

[smallcowplant]

50 OC Questions

I was tagged a bunch to do this a few weeks ago (the only person I can remember tagging me in particular is @simsiekat, tho). I was kinda at a loss, because as much as I wanted to do it, spoilerssss! But I decided that there was no harm in doing it for one of TSS’s side-characters, Miss Layla Rabadia! 

Answers are under the cut!

How old is your character? 34

When is your character’s birthday? September 24th

What is your character’s zodiac sign? Libra

What is your character’s ethnicity? Indian (specifically has roots in Gujurat)

Does your character have any nicknames? Her mother calls her Bachcha. Her little nieces and nephews call her Li-la. 

Do they have a job? If so what is it? She’s the (new) Forensic Pathologist/Medical Examiner for the city of Point Haven. 

Where does your character live? In a loft in the center of Upper Point Haven. 

Who does your character live with? Her four cats.

What environment did your character grow up in? (strict, loving, cold etc.) Strict, but very loving. The eldest of five children, she was surrounded by family constantly, and her parents expected nothing but the best from her. They encouraged her to put school and her future first, and were endlessly proud of her achievements.

What are your character’s favorite food? Sushi!

What is your character’s favorite drink? She loves tea. All kinds of tea. But especially rose/floral teas. She has a very low caffeine tolerance, so black teas/coffee aren’t really her jam. If we’re talking alcohol, she really only likes extremely sugary drinks/frozen margaritas. 

What is your character’s favorite color? PINK! Especially pastel/light pink. 

Does your character believe in any clichés? She’s a hopeless romantic and believes wholeheartedly in soulmates/the concept of ”one true love”. 

What is your character’s sexuality? Lesbian!

What is your character’s gender identity? Female.

Is your character Type A or Type B? More aligned with Type A, but not as overzealous/aggressive. 

Is your character introverted or extroverted? An...Extroverted Introvert.

What is your character’s favorite woohoo position? Switch/verse? Depends on the person/situation!

Is your character a pet person? If so what is their favorite animal? Absolutely. And she loves cats. All kind of cats. In another life, she would work in a rehabilitation center for big cats. Her four cats are her whole world.

Does your character have a best friend? Other than her cats? Pssh. I kid, I kid. She’s actually very sociable and has a wide circle of friends and acquaintances (she’s also that person who somehow manages to have an amicable relationship with all her exes). Her best friend Amy works across the country, but they text nearly every day/videochat often. 

What is/was your character’s favorite school subject? Science/Math!

Is/was your character a high, mid or low achiever in school? High achiever from the jump.

Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? If so, what would be/what was their major? She has gone through rigorous amounts of schooling, including an undergraduate major in human biology that preceded medical school, and five years in pathology residence.

What are your character’s political beliefs? (if they have them) Aligns herself with Left/Democrat U.S. politics. 

What is one thing your character wants to do before they die? Travel to India (she’s third generation and was born and raised in America), fall in love and get married, adopt several children, and go to Disneyland (and Disneyworld. And Universal Studios.).

Does your character have a favorite TV show (cable) and/or movie? She likes home makeover/wedding shows...and documentaries about other countries/cultures. Also any cute show about puppies/kittens/animals in general that is on Animal Planet at any given time. Her favorite movie is like....9 to 5. Or The Santa Clause. Or The Aristocats. 

Is your character a Netflix viewer? If so what are their top 3 shows? Queer Eye, Gilmore Girls and The Great British Baking Show. 100%.

Does your character like books? If so what’s their favorite one? She loves books, but she doesn’t really find a lot of time to read. She really likes YA/Fantasy. She also really likes Lang Leav’s poetry! 

Does your character enjoy video games, if so what is their favorite one and do they play on PC or console? She plays a LOT of cutesy games on her phone, think Neko Atsume, Candy Crush, Gardenscapes and Clawbert---and she’s one of those people who has no qualms at all about spending her real life $$ on them. Smh. She also really likes Animal Crossing. 

What is your character’s personal style? Preppy-cute. She loves pastel blouses, pretty skirts, dainty jewelry, and anything with flowers on it. 

Does your character have a lucky charm? Do her cats count? Because....them.

Is your character religious? Not heavily, but she does respect and honor a lot of the traditions and beliefs of Hinduism. 

What kind of music does your character listen to and who is their     favorite artist? Ehhh, pop/soft indie. Is that a genre? Think Regina Spektor, Ellie Goulding, and Tove Lo.

Is your character a festive person? If so what’s their favorite holiday? Almost...obnoxiously festive and LOVES Christmas. She starts decorating in November, gets professional Christmas photos with her cats, and actually enjoys repetitive Christmas music.

What is your character’s favorite type of weather? She loves bright, sunny days. (And snow around Christmastime.)

Does your character prefer to start fights or finish them? Neither. She’s a very nonconfrontational person and doesn’t care to enter into situations where she has to verbally spar with someone. She does have an uncanny ability to diffuse most situations, though.

Does your character have a dream job? Her current job is definitely her dream job!

Does your character have any siblings? Yes, four younger siblings. Three boys and one girl. 

Does your character get along with their family? She does. There were mixed reactions when she came out in her early twenties (mostly from her aunts and cousins), but her parents weren’t the least bit surprised. She’s very close to her younger siblings (they’re all in a family group chat), and loves being an aunt to her nieces and nephews.

What is your character's favorite hobby? Dancing around with her cats in her loft, making smoothies from Pinterest recipe boards, filling bullet journals/making journal flip-throughs on YouTube.

What does your character look for in a romantic partner? Good cuddler, likes cats, has a sense of humor, isn’t turned off by her job, someone who is looking for something serious/long-term. She’s also on the taller side (5′’8′), and she kinda has a thing for shorter girls. 

What is a secret about your character? She tells everyone that she’s good with the amount of cats she has, but she secretly really wants another one. This is not actually a secret, because nobody honestly believes her, but she thinks it’s a secret. 

What is a wish your character has? To fall in love.

What is a flaw your character has? She has a habit of overworking herself, pushing herself to the point where she’s sometimes incredibly strung-out and exhausted. 

How do others generally perceive your character? Incredibly professional and polite, sometimes annoyingly cheerful, kind to a fault.

Does your character have a greatest achievement? If so what is it? Completing her schooling and finally being able to do the job she loves.

If they have one, what is your character’s greatest regret? Not coming out earlier. 

Does your character have a favorite emoji? 😹😻🙀

Does your character use Instagram? If so what’s their @? Her main Insta is just @laylarabadia, and she posts mortician/forensic pathologist memes, aesthetic pics of her tea/smoothies, TONS of pictures/videos of her cats doing things, and the occasional selfie. She also definitely has Insta’s dedicated to each of her cats. 

What is the last text your character sent (and who did they text)? Since TSS isn’t live yet, none! 

[migleefulmoments]

I don't think anything of what the cc fandom posts anymore is "continued optimism". It looks like sheer terror that they're losing their game. Abby is in pure desperation mode, trying to rally the troops because she can see Darren's life is turning out to be nothing like she predicted. She can no longer validate that Darren NEEDS her, he keeps going against her. They're losing their grip. This isn't optimism, it's because everything Darren is doing equals Abby losing control of the narrative.

I agree with that they were in panic mode since the wedding but the 72 hours or so after Hollywood was announced they were euphoric that this was proof that Darren would be coming out soon.  That has worn off already and they are back to their normal crap but for a few days, they were giddy. They were even speaking about a divorce in very near future.

I am going on record, I like AW and I like her a lot.  She is team D, I really have no doubt and everything she is showing is that she is on his side and around to protect him often and frequently. 

Yes she is giving us the illusion that she and PBB are besties that love to take intimate photos together but in reality she is showcasing exactly who M is, how much she lacks chemistry with D, some really not so pretty moments behind the scenes btwn D&M (there was some golden footage from European trip number 1 includng that video from the fireworks where E is all snuggled into her man and D&M look like virtual strangers), she flew to that island to babysit, and she announced the business family honeymoon.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. 

AW is team d. She is a hard working, extremely successful men’s stylist with a pretty impressive client list at this point.  And while she would absolutely have loyalty toward D, as she built her career styling him, she should not be this involved. A friend just reminded me that her other client, FW is currently promoting the J/udy Ga/rland movie.  That is something AW usually would accompany her clients to, she follows D everywhere.  yet no one questions why instead of being with FW she spent 2 days in a row with PBB.

I think she and d are working together and i believe she provides d with comfort. She babysits M, she works as a buffer, and unlike so many other enablers, she has D’s back.  She is smart, she knows how to play M and her stans.  On the surface she looks like she might almost be in love with M (seriously she has way more chemistry with her than D), but it is all a mirage, done for show. And if you look behind a lot of what she posts, it is harmful to m/iarren.  

I know I have repeated the same think a lot over the past 48 hours, but I am so scared to allow myself to believe that change is ahead. And i got burned with ACS because I BELIEVED with my entire being this was the beginning of change and then everything escalated to full on disaster.  But I still think no one got burned more than D&C because I am fairly certain they thought change was ahead as well.(Again the narcissism just has to rear it’s ugly head). 

But I cannot stop myself from being optimistic and it is not just the RM partnership.  It is the totality of the circumstances. It is watching the past 7 months since the sham mockery.  It is seeing how they past 7 months were designed solely to promote her, not D, and done mainly using people only seen by fandom (her employees/friends, SK, PBB’s team).  She got the massive exposure and the press from the “wedding” and some RCs as the “wife” but not much more and has now been relegated to mainly being promoted by the aforementioned. And that is only seen by fandom. Add, for the past several months, D himself has hardly tried.  A random good pic here and there, but otherwise he orchestrated group honeymoons, barely touched her even when kissing, the jerk, bitch glare, the back turn.  D has gained nothing until now. He certainly did not do this for a show he sold 3 years ago that is being written by, like them or not, Hwood novices.   I hardly think he needed a wife to score the TB commercial. And SA doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who cares who d’s partner is, it was just a great collaboration.

And here we are, September, D is filming R/oyalties and we get the announcement that he is collaborating with RM again, not just as the star, but exec producer of a show that largely involves, based on early press, LGBT+ themes.  And I have to HOPE.

The stage is set.  D “married” her.  He has been set up to take the blame as well as his team, thereby absolving RM.  And it would make a lot of sense for RM to now step in and play the “hero.”  We know the truth. D and C know the truth.  But RM has the power to smooth what is going to be a difficult narrative to navigate. And it is a win for D&C and a win for RM.  The m/iarrens are going to be devastated, as they are so invested in being right and D being straight (No we aren’t)(again the narcissism and her soul-crushing need to be right-is this about Darren or Abby?).  And even if we just get a separation it will all be questioned. Because M is the only thing that makes him straight (not true, Darren identifying as straight is what makes him straight).  Everything else points at the opposite.  Add the press has not helped him at all on his path to come out, so it is going to be difficult to navigate.  Having the “king of television” in his corner speaks volumes.

And then there is his horrific, abusive, incompetent team. And they haven’t just fucked with him, it seems with their no queer article they fucked with RM.(Huh? What?) I really hope they live to regret it.

Karma is a bitch.. May she rear her ugly head and finally give these people what they deserve. If i am sitting here a year from now and nothing has changed, I will be heartbroken for him.  And wonder if maybe he did choose career.  I just can’t believe that is who he is. I think he is a fighter and everything he has ever shown confirms that (DELUSION-ville) thought even if there was some confusion when the fraud in NOLA first occurred.  

Here is hoping nonnie.  Here is hoping.

I think a major decision like this was made together.

Read the book when it comes out in Oct 1. I thought c references RM. now I’m near positive.

And Hwood itself was initially announced in February.  I immediately thought this was the project RM was cooking up (curious if FW and CF join the cast).  But then there was silence for months,

And the first 8 months of 2019 were a complete shitshow that included that absolute fiasco in NOLA, excessive PBB promo, ads, ads, ads, TB, and SK.  Not a single one of which were worthy of D’s time and attention.  And to all onlookers, we were dazed and confused.  utterly and completely and not sure what to think or believe.

But putting the pieces together prior to last nights announcement, logically and rationally looking at everything, it seems to me that finally D was tying up loose ends.  While I do think D himself was dazed and confused in the first few weeks after that fraud occurred, it has been clear to me that starting with the work family group honeymoon (I think of all the arrows to m/iarren that have been shot, this might be my favorite) something shifted.  How anyone can not see that that woman was being way over promoted is beyond me (Because “promotion isn’t a thing, Abby”). But clearly the 1st 8 months of 2019 were devoted to giving her everything and anything she ever wanted.  Add in SK, the biggest enablers, that are being rewarded, first by raising an obnoxious amount of cash, and now with R/oyalties with D’s writers being his partners in the business. All of these things are massive pay out.

And last night we get this announcement from D.

notes-from-nowhere

do you want to know what I find very intriguing in all of this? The fact that all of that has been said in this topic pretty much sums up what we have said in the last 15 months if not more.

The latest news only uncovers the thread that keep all of “out theories” together. Of course something might be wrong, misplaced or misunderstood but the big picture is there for all to see (No, you don’t say?).

I do think it is too soon for me to fully embrace the idea that finally things are on the right path but well, please, excuse me for my optimism after a year and a half of struggle.

I’m going to root for D to have back his life and to finally be free to make his own choices. I hope this career advancement (or for better wording: this career extension) will give him what he wants and the power to just be his fully self and spread his wings.

I will watch what’s unfold in front of my eyes with interest from now on and a reneview wave of hope. 

I do trust D is going to take the best decision ever among those available to him. My only fear is that those options may not be the one I hope for him but all I can do right now is wait and see. Hope for the best and expect the worst. Is the wiser thing I can do

ajw720

@notes-from-nowhere it’s impossible to not be skeptical. I didn’t see that “wedding” a 1000 miles away. (SMH) I care way too much (a me problem). I felt like my heart broke that day and I need to take care of me and be cautious. But I’m leaning this is good and I do think the public evidence to date supports this.

This is what euphoria looks like in cc fandom.  

It’s interesting that she convinced herself this is Darren coming out when she thought he would come out during Hedwig based on this:

He and C were very relaxed, joking at interviews when G/lee was ending, both in France at the same time, the C/ol-Fur joke, the repeated telling of mandate.  Everything seemed to point to a positive resolution.  C even scheduled his book tour to be finished the day prior to d’s last performance. and then D was nominated for an emmy and everything seemed to shift and spun out of control and here we are, 4 years later.

She “rationally analyzes” the data and comes to the conclusion he’s coming out rather than understanding he’s just living his life.