#sensory stimuli

[vizthedatum]

I have both autistic meltdowns and panic attacks. I’ve been listening to a lot of late-diagnosed autistics talking about how they thought those were one and the same.

I did too, and I didn’t understand why many strategies didn’t help my meltdowns (which I thought were panic attacks).

—

Tangentially, you know what I hate? I hate that people judge me so hard for having a public or even semi-private meltdown.

I meltdown after prolonged exposure to things that are sensory or emotionally draining - including not being properly heard or accommodated. These are often building up to a volcanic-like pressure within me.

I also have trauma and PTSD-related panic attacks (which are more sudden at onset).

—

I HATE that no matter how much I try to take care of myself or show that I’m doing what I can do… that people see me meltdown and lose trust in me.

[fraternum-momentum]

btw my brother GRILLED me for having baby sensory videos in the bg while i draw like whats wrong with having funky little guys dancing in the bg ??????????

[choccomonke]

[aestherians]

I just had the oddest experience. I was brushing my teeth, looking in the mirror, when suddenly, for a split second, my face seemed different. Not like a hallucination (or p-shift, good gods), more like... I stopped noticing the traits that didn't look like my fictotype. Like a visual sensory shift. A perception shift. I only perceived our visual similarities and somehow blocked out our differences. Like I said, it was over in less than a second. But it was there, clear as day.

[elfpylon]

just finished season 1 of Pantheon and holy Fucking shit is it good. It’s barely anything like what I expected.

Deep, really unsettling, and really fucking cool because I am laugh-crying with joy at how SICK the digital U.I. battle scenes are with the interspersed visual representation of the code and actual logic processing of uploaded human minds brute force attacking each other like oh my god oh my god oh my god. The Concepts. The C O N C E P T S.

anyways I cried a lot time for season 2.

[mamawasatesttube]

wheres that panel of bart fantasizing about pushing kon into a wood chipper. thats me rn

[mirrorofliterature]

I'm pushing my neurodivergent agenda for perciver tonight wbu

.

Neither Oliver nor Percy are particularly big fans of parties: they can be bearable, sometimes, even fun in the company of friends, but this one is sure to be crowded, and loud, and altogether a little bit overwhelming.

Celebrating together in the privacy and comfort of their dorm is much more their style.

[windcarvedlyre]

Increasingly tempted to make some sort of Komaeda autism meta since I keep discussing his diagnoses with people and like the autistic Komaeda HC (comorbid with, not instead of FTD). I relate a lot to the symptoms he has that overlap with my own nonsense, but I'm looking through the ICD-11 criteria right now and I think he actually doesn't meet a bunch of them. It'd be fun to do a point-by-point analysis at some point.

[actualbird]

life's not been good lately. ive been beset by a cacophony of Ails (constant fatigue and exhaustion to the point of being bedridden for most of the day, constant nausea, headaches, shoulder (???) aches, skin rashes (why???? ;-;), irritability, did i mention the exhaustion....) but im like 99% sure it's all just caused by stress so theres rlly nothing much i can do but wait til life gets Less Stressful.

still, it's heavily debilitating. like, here is list of things overwhelming me to tears just this morning

eating breakfast (it's so hard. it's so hard to eat. i know i must, but it's so difficult)

drinking water (it makes me wanna throw up for some reason)

noises and sounds (the house phone rang awhile ago and my heart rate kicked up so panicked as if i was being chased by an axe murderer. my sister spoke to me awhile ago and i wanted to burst into tears because even verbal conversation feels like an insurmountable task rn)

notifs from Everywhere (discord, here, my work grp chats, twitter, my tumblr inbox oh god im so sorry about my inbox so many asks are piling up and im not ignoring you guys i promise im just gonna break down if i try to even read what you guys are sending in)

standing (it makes me lightheaded and dizzy and makes me wanna throw up) (sidenote: wow a lot of things make me wanna throw up these days JS;FKDNS;DKF)

sleeping (I FIGURED THIS SHOULD BE EASY, GIVEN HOW EXHAUSTED I AM, BUT IT'S NOT. IM BAD AT SLEEPING NOW, WHY????? i lay in bed and my breathing is so quick like there is Something Hunting Me Down and it takes me hours to finally sleep and when i Do sleep it's not even Good, i still feel like CRAP)

touch (nobody touch me oh god i will scream. the only exception to this is my cat because he is very soft)

in summary: world overwhelming. help. i hate this. it's been like this for over a week. i want to hide under a blanket or perhaps a burrow in the ground. i want to be like this

[scooplery]

i wish the adults in my life hadn't pigeonholed me as an "old soul" or however my aunt put it so young bc man. i am really Really delayed in a lot of ways that were just. ignored. when i was young enough to actually get any extra support for it. nobody holds my hand and gently walks me thru stuff anymore. you have to really fend for yourself as an adult :/

[pileofpawns]

i have heart conditions so there’s about a 30% chance wearing over the ear/noise cancelling headphones will force me to listen to my loud-ass, way-too-fast heartbeat

[avephelis]

*hand raise* um quastion does anyone have suggestion for not getting absolutely exhausted by 7pm it is getting inconvenient

[inverttheory]

naturally i have become hopelessly dependent on the string of pearls .

[porcelainfreak-zacrucian]

Today we learned that evil showers are not for me

[shodansbabygirl]

They should invent an intestine you can't feel

[earlgreydyke]

i just learned that my chronic migraines and headaches that have stumped doctors for my entire life and for which i have had mri’s and ultrasounds and blood tests and been on so many medications might just be related to my autism and sensory problems and masking??? this is unreal and is both such a relief and so infuriating