#sending all of my telepathic love to this woman. she deserves and needs it

[antlerdeer]

streamer i like just got dumped and i'm watching her stream telling ppl what happened and god it reminds me so much of the circumstances of the breakup i went through and still spend the majority of my time sobbing about and i'm crying with her you know and i hope she heals and gets better

[enterprisetrampstamp]

Request: TOS Spock and Bones being an adorable married couple while aboard the Enterprise!

"All I'm saying is, you could've warned me," Bones was complaining, before the fabric of his uniform pants had even touched the plastic of the bench across the table from his Captain.

Jim, his focus directed at the PADD containing the paperwork that Yeoman Rand would be coming to fetch in less than five minutes, hummed a neutral acknowledgement and trusted his Chief Medical Officer to continue his diatribe with only that minimum of prompting.

"A chance to prepare--" Bones's fork flicked through the air-- "A chance to brace myself. Pretty sure that after everything you've put me through over the years, Jimmy, I deserved one."

"Almost certainly," Jim agreed, dashing off another signature with the rubber tip of his stylus.

"Good of you to admit it. Spock didn't!"

"What didn't I do, Doctor?" Spock asked, and-- unlike when Bones had sat down-- Jim looked up to shoot his Number One a crooked grin of welcome. (It wasn't about Spock, specifically-- it was about that, that warm feeling of vicarious happiness he got at seeing his two best friends oh-so-casually brush their fingers against each other in a gentle "Good morning" kiss.)

Bones rolled his eyes; Spock raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't admit I deserved a bit of warning before you dumped an entire crop of fresh-faced, bushy-tailed morons in my lap." Bones stabbed at his eggs vindictively, his expression sour. "Do you know how much work--"

Oh, that's what this was about? The new nurses and interns who'd joined the crew at their last pit stop?

"They're not morons," Jim told him, amused, as hebturned back to scrolling through his PADD. "And you did have warning, Bones; you had to sign off on all of them."

"I was told that I was offering my opinion on their placement on other ships!" Bones threw his hands wide, his left hand smacking into Spock's chest unapologetically. "Not mine!"

Spock gently removed Bones's hand from his personal space, and Jim sighed. "At the time, you were," he said dryly. "But several of your nurses have resigned their commissions recently, and this mission has been turning out a lot differently than we anticipated at the start; you could always use some additional hands in surgery--"

"Like I would trust these fools with a scalpel--!"

"They aren't even fresh out of the Academy, Bones," Jim reminded him. "Every one of them has at least a year of prior experience in a hospital and performed admirably--" he looked up, eyebrows raised. "At least, according to your own assessment."

"Have they yet shown themselves to be unsatisfactory?" Spock asked, calmly cutting to the center of Bones's ranting, and Bones scowled as he buttered his toast.

"They're fine," he said, shortly. "But not a one of them is prepared for the differences between traditional hospital practices and those of a starship, Jim. On another ship--" he waved a hand. "They'd have time to ease into things. But here? On the Enterprise? They need their hands held, Jim, and Chris, Geoff, and I only have so many hands to go around."

Spock looked to be considering this point deeply, so Jim left him to it for the moment, glancing guiltily at the chronometer on the far wall of the mess and resuming the race to finish his paperwork. It's not that Bones was wrong, in Jim's opinion; it was just that they didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. The CMO and the indomitable Nurse Chapel would simply have to ride herd on the new kids until they either shaped up or washed out-- no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"You believe they are likely to freeze the first time they're placed under pressure," Spock surmised.

Bones-- when Jim glanced up into the silence of hesitation-- pulled a face and shook his head. "All hospitals are, by definition, life or death situations; they've already proven they can handle 'pressure'," he said. "But basic xenobiology credits don't do justice to the realities of practicing your craft on biological systems you barely understand-- present company included-- with diseases no one's ever seen before and half the equipment you would have wanted. It's their imaginations I'm worried about, Mr. Spock."

"Then perhaps it is their imagination you should focus on training, Doctor."

"There are a couple security officers trying to put an improv comedy club together," Jim suggested, hiding his grin by ducking his head further towards the PADD as he dashed off another signature, and a bit of toasted crust bounced off of his temple after Bones threw it at him. "That was assault of a commanding officer, I'll have you know."

"Shove it, Jim. The grown ups are actually brainstorming solutions over here."

"Of course," Jim agreed, smoothly, and pretended that "brainstorming" was the only reason Bones had laid his hand over Spock's when Spock placed it palm up on the table.

"Sims, maybe?" Bones murmured. "I could write something up, if you'd be willing to code it. No right answers, only better ones; see what they come up with."

"It would be my pleasure, Doctor."

A beat, a shit-eating grin in his periphery, and Spock repeated, sharply-- "Doctor."

"My virgin ears and I are glad Bones kept that one telepathic," Jim said, hiding his own shit eating grin behind his cup of coffee as he took a sip, and Bones laughed.

"Not in front of the Captain, Mr. Spock, or whatever will appear on your next performance review?"

Spock sighed. "You have a singularly frustrating personality, Doctor."

"You're one to talk. You know, Jim, he uses cinnamon toothpaste?"

"Perish the thought." Jim signed another dotted line, his feeling of foreboding growing as he scrolled further and further down towards the next. Janice was going to be here in--

"Your yeoman has just walked into the mess, Captain," Spock told him.

"And she's a woman on a mission," Bones added, eith a thread of laughter lacing through his tone. "A tactical retreat may be in order, Jim boy."

Captain James Tiberius Kirk did not turn to look over his shoulder, because that would be a sign of weakness. "Buy me five minutes," he said, his tone just shy of an order. "I'll speed read."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Bones demanded, but Spock-- bless those pointed ears of his-- was already rising to his feet.

"Accompany me, Doctor," he requested.

And, with a sigh, Bones took a few quick bites of his toast and then rose to his feet, wiping his fingers on a napkin as he trailed behind Spock. Jim paused his reading only long enough to watch them intercept Janice--

What they said couldn't be heard from across the room, but Bones's right hand found the small of Spock's back, his wedding ring glinting under the light as he waved the other about enthusiastically, and his exuberance combined with Spock's quiet intensity commanded Janice's attention quite completely. By the time she'd wormed her way free, Jim was outting the last flourishing signature on the paperwork, and he handed the PADD over to her with his most charming smile.

"Thank you, Yeoman."

"No, Captain," she said, with a smile that was far too shark-like for the sweetness of her tone. "Thank you." And then-- laughing-- she was gone.

Bones looked smug, and Spock's eyes glittered with Vulcan amusement, and suddenly, Jim was feeling much less charitable towards the man's ears.

"Gentlemen," he said suspiciously. "May I ask what price I've just paid for those five minutes?"

"You know, Yeoman Rand has a lot of friends on the ship, in all kinds of departments," Bones said, as he tucked into his remaining eggs. "Including Security."

"She's a popular woman," Jim agreed, slowly.

"Ensigns Martinez and Harper will be most grateful to hear of your interest in joining their improvisational comedy group, Captain."

Jim stared at Spock. "No."

Bones smiled. "Oh, yes."

"No!"

"His idea," Bones said, jerking his thumb at Spock.

"I was under the impression you had been looking for a method of engendering further goodwill between yourself and the crew," he said, with a perfect Vulcan poker face.

"Wouldn't do to back out on a promise now, Captain," Bones told him cheerfully. "Say, they still encourage audience participation st these things, don't they?"

"A staple of the genre, Doctor."

"My," Bones said, smiling into the horror dawning across Jim's face. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I never miss a show."

Spock hummed as he returned to his own breakfast. "I believe I shall have to miss every show, for fear that you would volunteer me for a sketch."

"Well." Bones wiped his mouth on a napkin, blue eyes twinkling. "Even so, Mr. Spock. I'll see you at lunch."

Spock bid him a pleasant morning shift, and-- with a brush of their fingertips-- Bones was gone.

"You didn't really promise Janice that I'd be doing improv comedy, did you?" Jim asked, weakly. "I'll forgive you for the implication if you simply admit--"

"No, Captain, I did not." But the way he said it...

Jim closed his eyes. "Spock. Did Dr. McCoy promise it?"

"Yes, Captain, he did."

"I know you love him, Spock, but I'd like your permission to ship him back to Earth--"

"Negative."

"He'll be happy there," Jim promised. "I'll set him up on a nice farmstead in Georgia--"

"I don't believe that the life of a farmer would especially agree with me."

"I'm not planning on sending you."

Spock raised an eyebrow, and Jim sighed, relenting. "I suppose you would follow him, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, Captain."

"Of course," Jim agreed, with a ghost of a smile breaking through his glum mood. It was nice, seeing his two best friends in love--

Even when they ganged up on him.

[dxppercxdxver]

mst for the fandom thingy (I already know your onions I just want to see your Official Ranking) <3

oh oh oh!!!! yes yes thank you for this

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): mike nelson!!! that man occupies at Least 80% of my brain space At all times. funky little theater bisexual with a strong himbo flavor and four adopted children what’s Not to love

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): joel robinson obviously. he is just a weird little guy who built some kids and is probably stoned all the time and is definitely transed gendered like. he is So Shaped oh my God

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): gpc!! she doesn’t get a lot of screentime but when she Does get it she has so many zingers?? pre reboot she vibes as joel’s like. teenage daughter and post reboot i Love her music like her song in killer fish is just a Bop i adore her so much. also? girlboss (affectionate)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): TORGO. weird pizza delivery satyr of my nightmares come Here you awful beast i adore you

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): pearl forrester. yes clayton is great. yes frank is great. but Pearl. pearl is a festering raccoon of a woman done up in eighties clothing who is absolutely and completely unhinged and owns it in a way i have seen Very Few female villains do. also she managed to get observer to work for her?? she took one of an ancient species of omniscient telepaths started calling him Brain Guy and now he’s just pathetic. girlboss (derogatory)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): crow And servo. together. please dear god the prankers deserve to become the pranked. they need to get Spooked get Taunted get One Upped they need it for their egos please let me at them

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): i mean. the problem is. all the villains are Incredibly Lovable? so there’s not an obvious choice for superhell-ification here. maybe pre-rename gpc. or forrester just bc he Would canonically go to superhell for homosexual crimes with frank

thank you for this my love <3

[gongju-juice]

7. Once Upon a Southern Night

Still Stuck in 1863

Warnings: Language, Mentions of a miscarriage, all of the usual

That night, you had the strangest, most desirable nightmare of your entire life.

You were barefoot,  laying in a bed of flowers wearing a long black dress and white apron. By your side, he was there. But instead of his brilliant red eyes, they were the peaceful color of a bluish gray. On his stomach rested his top hat and he was dressed in the finest clothes; clothes no regular person should have been lounging around in.

“P-Preston?”

He turned on his side and looked up at you, his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on your flat middle. Bending down, he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Yes, dear. I’m here.”

“I. . .” you looked around the clearing. It was early in the afternoon, the golden rays peeking through the oak trees above you. In the distance, rows of cotton stood out against the brown field. “Is this. . .a dream. . .or a memory?”

“Neither,” he murmured. “This is a vision. We are talking together in real-time while you are asleep. Everything around us is what home used to look like.”

“How. . .is this possible?”

He caressed your face with his other hand, gazing into your eyes like he was a moth drawn to a light. 

“This is what life should’ve been like. Your mom and the aunties should have been making clothes for the baby, and I should’ve been preparing our home in Pensacola. Instead, I was dragged out to war for what would be the final time I’d ever see you.”

You shook your head, sitting up in the bed of dandelions. “Home? I would be a slave if that would’ve come to fruition. You would’ve married Abigail, and I’d be your negro mistress sleeping in the shack outside with our biracial children.”

He grimaced at his former fiance’s name. No matter what he said, the truth would always be the same. Your love was never equal, he owned you. His family owned you from the moment you were born. You were not his lover. You were his slave.

“I would’ve bought your freedom. Mother could not really force me to marry that woman. I wouldn’t have put up with it—not in a million years. I wanted to dress you in the finest clothes, drape you in jewels. At one time, you wouldn’t have hesitated to believe me.”

He gently pushed you back down to the earth and hovered over your middle before placing a series of kisses on your covered navel.

“We were going to name her Sarah,” he said with a sad note of laughter. “If she was a girl. And if he was a boy—”

“Clyde,” you whispered. “Oh, Preston—Preston, I remember it all. Everything!”

He took you in his heart, and you heard his wild heartbeat clear and strong. The flood of memories was overwhelming, and all you could do was sob in his chest. You remembered catching lightning bugs in the twilight, him secretly teaching you how to read under the stairs. You remembered making love in his bedroom—how the other slaves on the plantation resented his favoritism. 

You remembered missing your periods three consecutive months in a row. You remembered his face as you told him, how he lifted you in his arms. You remembered when Major Whitlock arrived and took him away, how he left you with only a little picture of him in a tiny locket.

You remembered his furious mother, and how she incurred her wrath on you any chance she got. You remembered when she knocked you unconscious, blood spilling between your legs when she told you her plans. You remembered your mother’s cold hands and the pain—

How you cried. How you wished for him to come and take your pain away. And your vengeful mother. She spoke nonsense in your ear as you were dying on her straw mattress. She chanted in the candle dim light of your cabin, and the next thing you knew—

You were being tickled in your adopted mother’s arms. 

“Do you know?” you choked. “Do you know what your mother did to me?”

His eyes lowered, hands falling to clasp your wrists. “I didn’t find out until twenty years later. . .when I could finally stand to be near a human without wanting to rip their throat out.”

“Did you know. . .that she killed our baby? That she wanted to send me up to Charleston so Abigail and her folks wouldn’t know?”

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he turned away. As he did, a butterfly rose from a lonesome bluebell.

“If I would have been there, I wouldn’t have let that happen,” he growled. “And it’s all Jasper Whitlock’s fault. If he wouldn’t have dragged me out to—”

“No,” you said, “you wanted to go to war. You wanted to bring honor to your family and  keep slaves from being free so you could bathe in your money. Don’t act like the victim, Preston. Don’t act like I don’t remember how cruel you were when the abolitionists showed up in Mobile.”

He shook his head, whirling back around to face your tear-stained face. “It was a different time, Y/N, Why does that excuse work for Jasper and not for me? It was my right—”

“And you still think it is!” you snapped. “You think you’re entitled to me because of the past, because of a flawed love we used to share. Jasper has acknowledged things have changed, and he’s changed with time. But you—you’re still stuck in 1863.”

“No!” he shouted ferociously, and suddenly his eyes flickered from river blue to blazing red. “I lost the life I should’ve had! He stole that from me! He deserves to pay, to feel every ounce of suffering I felt all those years.”

“Has he not suffered as I have?” you cried. “He was a slave to Maria, just like I was a slave to you!”

His eyes closed, and he struggled to regain his composure. You saw through the illusion quickly. He must’ve enlisted the powers of a witch to fabricate this false reality. Your love for Preston was real, but your fear of him was even stronger. You gave yourself to him out of necessity. To refuse your master. . .it was not something a black woman did and got away to tell the story.

“It doesn’t matter how you feel,” he said after a while. “I will make you love me again as you did once before. You’ll see—once I destroy Jasper and all of his family, you will have nobody else but me.”

The dream evaporated and suddenly you were in the middle of the living room, your family and guests all standing over you as she gasped violently.

“Y/N!” Jasper called, holding you in your arms as you came to. Your mother was about to inject an IV needle into your vein while Carlisle tried to determine the cause of your sudden collapse.

“Mom? Jas? I—” you tried to sit up but you were promptly held in place.

“Just breathe, darlin’,” Jasper instructed. “I’ll move you in a minute. It’s okay, I got you.”

You attempted to weakly lift up your hand to his cold face. And that’s when you knew. Nothing or no one could ever separate you from him. Jasper was the only man you loved; the only man you needed. If he was the light, you were his shadow. If you were the night, he was the star that made it brighter.

“Y/N, this is really important,” your sister said, bending down on her knees to get closer to you. “What happened while you were gone?” Behind her Zacarias stood looking very concerned, his hand on her shoulder.

You shook your head, trying to find a way to say the words. “It was him, and we were. . .back in the past.”

Jasper’s jaw clenched and he looked towards the ceiling. If he were human, you could tell he would be crying by now. 

“He’s got a witch on his side,” Zacarias confirmed, crossing his arms. “And whoever it is, they must be good. It’s hard to make telepathic communications for more than a few moments at a time, especially from such a far distance.”

“Then what can we do?” Peter asked, looking at the Cullens in desperation. “These witches. . .we’ve never faced anything like them before. And the newborn armies will still be coming on top of that.”

Ava massaged the palm of your hand comfortingly, slowly, your energy began to come back. But Jasper still would not let you move.

“Witches are not infallible. It looks like he’s only got one on his side—maybe two if he’s lucky. As long as they’re at a far enough distance, well protected by the armies, they can do much damage to any specific target. The concentration that’s needed for combat is ridiculously difficult, and they can only focus on a few people at once. But that’s why Zach and I are here. We can hold off their attacks while you guys take care of the armies.”

Jasper finally spoke up, shifting you so that you were held firmly in his embrace. “We’ve got just a week-and-a-half to get in tip-top shape and make things right. I don’t care what I have to do, Ava, I won’t let Y/N get hurt. I would die if it meant her freedom, and if it that’s what it takes to end this all, then don’t hesitate to sacrifice me for the greatest cause—”

“No!” you objected. “If you die, I’m dying with you! I don’t want to be in this world without you, Jasper. It wouldn’t even be a life anymore! Please don’t say that, please don’t leave me alone!”

Carlisle kindly ushered the guests to the door, and left the two of you alone in the house.

“Your happiness is my only priority. And if you want to be with him. . .then you should,” he whispered painfully. “I deserve to pay for the suffering and heart I’ve caused others. I could’ve sent Preston away with the others when we were leaving that fateful night. He didn’t have to die, as I did.”

“You didn’t die,” you insisted. “It was the first stage of your metamorphosis. He died that night. He could never get over what he’d lost then and even now. That’s not your fault. He could choose to be happy, but yet he only desires the suffering over others. He told me he didn’t care about my happiness but you—”

You didn’t have to finish your statement, the both of you knew in your hearts. 

“I love you so much, baby!” you sobbed, clinging onto his shirt desperately. “I don’t want him, or any of the life we had before. You are my now, and you are my future.”

He buried his face into your shoulder, rocking you on the cold living room floor. 

“And I love you too, darlin’. I love you so much.”

The truth is guys, I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been so depressed lately. This world is so evil, and I just feel like how can I post when they are literally people protesting in the streets, people dying, and the world in chaos??

Anyway, fanfiction is an escape these days. It always had been, now moreso than ever. I know I’m just an amateur, but if I can make someone forget their worries for even five minutes, I’m honored.

Stay safe, mah bois.

Part Five    Part Six   Part Eight

[imagine-loki]

Gifted

Title: Gifted (Sequel to Giftless)

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 34/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

You spent the next two days researching in the library nearly nonstop. Frigga, Sif, and even Thor were with you and Loki as you poured endlessly through books. Thor wasn’t much help with research. His job was mostly to bring you food, carry books, and wrap blankets around people when they fell asleep at the big table you were all working at. You were the only one who didn’t dare fall asleep working, your practice of stubbornly staying awake for days during emergency season came in handy. At least it did until Frigga had enough of you not sleeping.  She summoned a vial of potion and poured it into your tea in front of you.  You couldn’t go against the queen’s wishes.

“We all need to get some rest,” Frigga announced. “Enjoy your last couple of days here,” she bid you with a familiar mischievous glint in her eyes when Loki caught you falling asleep at the table. She held up the vial of potion she had dumped in your tea. Loki chuckled at her mischief. “The scholars and I will continue researching while you are gone, but you must do your duty and leave the library and actually be seen by the people. The research will continue without you and I will personally send word when we find out something,” she promised. 

“Thank you, Mother,” Loki said. He helped you to your feet and wrapped an arm around you to keep you there. “Come along, darling. You have not slept in two days. Do not even pretend you think that I had not noticed,” he chuckled. He stopped a moment later. “Shit,” he murmured. You looked up at him confused.

“Language, darling,” Frigga scolded lightly, but had a laugh in her voice. You turned to face her where she was holding up a second empty vial.

“Mother…” Loki groaned exasperated, but you heard his laughter too.  Frigga wanted to make sure you all got sleep.  

Thor came over to you a moment later. He already had Sif draped over one of his shoulders, fast asleep. “Mother, you could have made this a bit easier,” Thor laughed. He wouldn’t be able to carry all three of you to bed. Frigga laughed again and a moment later a portal opened in front of you, leading directly to the family wing.

“I think you can make it that far, dear,” Frigga commented lightly. Thor looked between you and Loki. He picked up Loki under his free arm. Loki protested that he was perfectly fine to walk and that Thor should take care of you instead. “Your soulbond is perfectly fine,” Frigga told him gently. She had come up next to you and linked her arm with yours. She led you through the portal, dragging you with her. You stumbled, your brain foggy, but managed to stay on your feet, until you made it to your suite’s door. Thor set Loki on his feet next to you. “Get some sleep, children,” Frigga bid all of you.

There were mumbles of ‘Yes, Mother’ from everyone and a head nod from you. Somehow you and  Loki both managed to make it to bed before you passed out. 

You laughed the next morning when you realized you had passed out on top of the covers with the clothes you had been wearing for the last two days straight still on.

/I’m getting a shower/ you announced once you had detangled yourselves from the heap you had landed in the night before. /We haven’t left the library in two days and I know I’m gross…/ you headed straight for the bathroom without waiting for his reply.

When you came back from your shower, using magic to dry your hair as you reentered the bedroom, you saw a shy-looking woman sitting on your bed. It only took you a moment to recognize her as Loki. Loki could change into a woman at will as he was gender fluid. You had seen him do it before. But even female, she was still your Loki. She just had longer raven hair, a more shapely build, and of course breasts. You nearly laughed, but stopped just in time when you saw Loki’s nervous expression. She was unsure of your reaction. The last time she had done this when you had seen was on her birthday two years ago when she had swapped genders of everyone in the tower, except you and a couple others she held in high enough esteem not to prank. She had included herself that day because she said it sounded like fun.

So you gave her a smile. /Morning, love/ you leaned down to give her a kiss, which shocked her even more. /Need me to do your hair?/ you asked, like nothing had changed, because really, it hadn’t. Loki looked up at you, surprised by your reaction. You just summoned the hairbrush and sat next to her on the bed, so you could start brushing out her hair.

“You are not…put off… by this?” Loki asked. Her voice was more musical, lighter pitched, but still with the same sexy accent. 

You smiled. /Of course not. Don’t forget I’ve seen you like this before/ you reminded her.

“Yes, but that was a joke, a trick…”

/You’re still you/ was your reply. /Hold still. I have to be more careful with your hair this morning/ Loki’s longer hair did take more work, but you managed, and even highlighted the magenta-red streak in her hair by using it to frame that side of her face.

“Mother expects us at breakfast this morning,” Loki hedged around the question she really wanted to ask.

/Naturally/ you replied dryly.

“Do you want me to change back?” The words were hesitant, afraid.  She really couldn’t seem to accept that you loved her just the same, no matter what form she took.  You had a feeling that Odin was behind her fear, as per usual. 

/After all that time I spent on your hair?/ you replied indignantly, with laughter and fun in your telepathic voice. 

Loki finally laughed, finally relaxed. “How did I ever deserve you?” she asked, pulling you into a hug.

/I love you too/ you replied with a smile. /Am I going to have to be prepared to fight the court to defend your honor?/ you asked. You weren’t going to let them make fun of Loki for this. Not when she was obviously uncomfortable.  Not even if it was Odin trying to hurt her. 

She snorted. “Hardly. They are quite used to my antics,” she replied with a grin.

/So I’ve heard. Though this will make the ball more interesting tonight/ you laughed. You stood and offered Loki your hand and pulled her to her feet when she accepted. She was still taller than you, though a few inches shorter than usual. Asgardians ran tall, and Jotuns ran even taller. You had gotten used to the height difference. You linked your arm with hers and you walked to breakfast together. The servants greeted us as 'princesses’ when you passed. They really were used to Loki’s antics, or quirks. You didn’t think this really counted as an antic, more a part of who your Loki was.

Thor looked up when you entered. You stiffened at his initial glance, ready to fight him over Loki’s choice for the day. Instead, Thor jumped to his feet and jovially came over to you. He took your hand and bowed over it to kiss your knuckles, then did the same to Loki. “Good morning, Sisters,” he greeted you extra jovially. You smiled and relaxed. You should have known that Thor would be nothing but supportive. Thor offered each of you a hand in formal escort position. You both laughed when you placed our hands on his. He walked you to the table and pulled out your chairs for you. You saw the glimpse of pure joy in Loki’s eyes at being accepted.

You spent the morning training with daggers in the practice court with Sif and her warriors. If they were surprised to see Loki join them as a female, no one commented. After that, you caught an early showing of the theater troupe’s version of Superhero Musical. You weren’t going to be able to go to the showing that evening because of the ball, but Loki wanted the troupe to know that you appreciated their hard work, so you saw it again. Loki’s voice was fantastic when she sang along that day. It was a joy to hear her. 

You went to the spa that afternoon. Loki wanted to get her nails done and had been hesitant to go alone, even in female form. So you gladly went with her so she could get the experience.

Loki was getting nervous when you were getting ready for dinner that night. You figured Odin was not nearly as supportive as everyone else seemed to be and Loki was afraid of appearing before her adopted father. You didn’t blame her, but still wanted to stab Odin for upsetting your Loki. 

You were momentarily distracted by the gorgeous black and green dress Loki had summoned to wear that night. It easily outshown your own blue and gold dress. You didn’t mind.  She was the proper princess after all.  You helped her settled her tiara perfectly once she was dressed and her hair done.  She was absolutely stunning when she was completely ready. You didn’t mind taking a back burner to her at all.

Loki hesitated when you got to the hall for dinner. /Stand tall, darling/ you repeated Loki’s own words back to her. /They are just jealous/ Loki laughed, straightened her spine and gave you a small smile before the two of you entered the dining hall. You saw Odin’s scowl of disapproval, but if Loki saw it, you couldn’t tell. She didn’t give any indication that she had. Odin didn’t say anything, so you didn’t have to hurt him. This worked out well.   You really didn’t want to get smited for trying to kill him.  Thor was as adorable as ever and insisted on pulling out Loki’s chair for her. You stuck your tongue out at him when he realized you had seated yourself before he could seat you.

“You are incorrigible, little sister,” Thor grumbled at you and you laughed in reply. Dinner was bearable, though Odin wouldn’t look at you the entire night. That was fine. You had your own fun.

You were sad that the next day was your last day on Asgard. You had to get home before your birthday. Also Tony was sure to be worrying by then.  He was so going to kill you, when he learned how Balder had hurt you. That was a problem for another day.

After dinner came the ball. It was a huge event filled with formal dancing. You hung to the sidelines, letting Loki dance with the various men of the court. She was having so much fun and you didn’t want to ruin it for her. Even Thor danced, though he lacked Loki’s grace. Sif seemed to be having fun as well. A few brave men of the court asked you to dance and you accepted. You knew the court dances from Loki, and now knew why he had known the female as well as the male parts of the dances so well.

Loki came to you for the last dance of the evening and offered you a hand. “May I have this dance?” she asked. You raised a brow, but took her hand. She led you right out to the middle of the dance floor and took the male’s position for the waltz. You smiled and took your own position as per usual. 

/You don’t mind leading this one?/ you asked, concerned she wouldn’t be happy with the arrangement. 

“I would prefer to dance with my lady. I have had your fun tonight. Besides, it will entertain everyone,” she replied in a whisper in your ear. You grinned. Of course she would be concerned about being fun and mischievous. The music started and you twirled around the room in graceful steps, your dresses twirling around you, just adding to the grace and beauty of the moment. People around you stopped dancing just to watch. You should have been nervous, or embarrassed, but it was so much fun that you just didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion.

The entire room applauded for you when the dance ended.  You both curtsied deeply to them in reply, and in thanks for their applause and praise.

You walked back to your suite that night arm in arm, both giggling. Thor and Sif were right behind you. “Did you have a good day, little sister?” Thor asked Loki as you walked.

“I did,” Loki replied, only a little stiffly, as if still expecting Thor to tease her.

“Tomorrow is the last day of your visit, is it not?” Sif asked. 

We both nodded. “I must return Kathryn to her home before her birthday,” Loki explained. “Plus her family will be worrying by now. We had not anticipated being gone for so long,”

You bid them goodnight when you reached their suite and headed down the hall to your own. You found a vial of Frigga’s potion on the coffee table waiting for you. You sighed and glared at it. “Mother has found out that you do not like it when I spell you to sleep. She is willing to be the 'bad guy’ so you do not get upset with me,” Loki explained gently. You sighed and used magic to change into your pajamas before you took the potion. Your pajamas may or may not have been a tunic stolen from Loki’s closet. Both he and Frigga were right that you needed the potion. You needed to not dream. That didn’t make you like it any better.  But Balder could and would attack you if he could find his way into your dreams. 

Loki didn’t change back to male before you went to bed. You curled up with her anyway. Her heartbeat was the same in either form.  You settled to sleep, safe in your Loki’s arms. 

Loki was back to normal the next morning. “Thank you,” he greeted you once you had opened your eyes.

/For?/

“Yesterday. For being supportive,” he replied with a vulnerability you weren’t used to from him.

/I love you. All of you/ you reminded him gently. He kissed you thoroughly in reply.

That day was a lot more subdued. You spent the entire day with Thor, Sif, and Frigga. Neither of you really wanted to leave, but you didn’t have a choice. You said our goodbyes the following morning. Frigga promised to continue the research on how to strip this power from you as well as on finding out what Balder’s plans were. You promised you would be back to visit and reminded them that they were always welcome to come visit you too.

You and Loki opened the portal back home together and waved goodbye one last time before you left Asgard.

[ktrivia]

All Men Dream

Bucky x Reader

Summary:

Reader is enhanced with the powers to enter dreams. She originally entered Captain America's dreams just to see if she could, but kept returning to them because she loved spending time in the 1940s ease of life in his idyllic versions of the time. But what happens when the good Captain figures out something is amiss?

Author’s Notes:

If you would like to be tagged in this story (I’m so excited that people actually want to read this) please send me a message!

Also let me know what you think of this chapter! I always love getting comments, suggestions, and theories!

Chapter 3

Bucky’s POV

               What woke me up was not another nightmare, but the sun. I blinked awake with squinted eyes as sunlight poured through the gap in the drapes that I never closed. There was no reason to close them, I woke up before sun rise everyday anyway. Slight confusion filled me as I pondered having slept all night, but it was overridden by the feeling of restfulness. Stretching my arms above my head, I enjoyed the sensation of being well-rested, but I still couldn’t figure out why.

               I tried to remember what I dreamed about, and Central Park filled my head. I had looked at ponds full of lily pads, walked around in awe of the greenery, eating a hot dog from a food stand, briefly looked for Y/N-

               My thoughts cut of as Y/N reached my consciousness and the nightmare from before the park rushed me. Why was she there? Why had she helped me? Or at least what I could only assume was helping. As much as Steve believed this woman had evil intentions, something in me was disagreeing with his assessment. While I still didn’t like the idea of someone entering my mind, there was something else to this story than I knew. All I knew was that I needed to talk to her.

               Turning over, I looked at the clock next to my bed and saw it was 9am. I jumped up and bolted from my room, knowing Steve and Natasha were probably already in the interrogation room. As I turned down the hallway to the kitchen, I spotted them at the table talking and eating breakfast. Slowing my stride, I contemplated what to tell them as I approached. The two noticed me about the same time. Steve had a small smile on his face as he placed the newspaper he’d been skimming down.

               “Wow, this must be a new record for you sleep wise. Came to get you for our run this morning and you were still out. Did you just wake up?” Steve asked.

               “Uh yeah. I had a good dream for once.” I explained as I went to the kitchen to get my normal cereal.

               “What’d you dream about Barnes?” Natasha questioned in between bites of bacon.

               “Central Park from the 40s,” I replied while looking at Steve for a reaction to the setting of the dream. His face scrunched a little.

               “Huh. I had a dream about that a week ago. Ate a mean hot dog from a guy selling them there.” He responded. So, Y/N had really taken me to a setting from one of Steve’s dreams. That confirmed she had gone into both of our heads, but not didn’t answer the question of why. I sat down at the table with my bowl of cereal and began eating. Cereal had gotten so much better since I was a kid. Artificial flavoring was a damn godsend. After taking a couple bites I spoke.

               “So, what’s the plan with dream girl?”

               “That’s what we were just talking about,” Natasha said. “Got any ideas?”

               “Yeah. Let me talk to her.” I replied calmly. Steve’s expression immediately switched to one of surprise and even Natasha reacted by raising an eyebrow at my declaration.

               “Buck, are you sure that’s a good idea? She goes into people’s minds every night without their permission.” Steve asked softly.

               “I’m not asleep and so far, I’m the only one who has been any semblance of ‘nice’ to her,” I explained while using finger quotes around the word nice. “She’ll be expecting the two of you to walk in, but I’ll be a surprise and hopefully catch her off guard.” And hopefully get her to tell me the real reason she’d been in my dream. Nat and Steve looked at each other and had another one of their stupid telepathic conversations. I didn’t know when they became able to have these silent conversations, but they annoyed the hell out of me.

               “Ok,” Steve said before added a quick addition to it. “But we have to be in the viewing room at all times that you’re in there.” I huffed at the overprotectiveness but knew why he was treating the situation this way. If I had told him Y/N had been in my dream, he would have her sent to The Raft immediately with some horrific way to keep her from entering anyone’s dreams. I wasn’t sure if she deserved that treatment yet, but if she did, I’d be the first one to sign the paperwork.

________________________________________________________________

Reader’s POV

               The night, or at least what I assumed was the night, dragged on. After I woke up from Bucky’s dream I hadn’t been able to fall asleep again. Most of the reason for that was my fear of accidentally jumping into another Avenger’s dream. Bucky in his near catatonic state may be slightly forgiving if he remembered his dream when he woke up, but others probably would not be. My shoulders had begun to hurt hours ago from being bound to the chair and my legs kept falling asleep from the lack of movement. My ass hurt too which was just the icing on the cake. My throat had dried out hours ago and swallowing became a struggle. Stomach rumblings had been the only sound for a while but they stopped a couple hours ago.

               I considered who would even realize I was missing. My parents didn’t call often, and we had spoken a few days prior, so they wouldn’t be trying to contact me. My few friends were out of town to avoid the hot New York summer. Maybe my boss would notice, but he’d probably just fire me before questioning where I was. Really the only living thing concerned about where I was would be Meatball, but that was probably just because he was hungry. Shit. I really hope that brown ball of fluff breaks the rules and eats something on the counter.

               I jumped in the chair when the door swung open. Moving so suddenly caused my aching muscles to scream as they performed any bit of motion. A groan escaped me as I tried to relax in the chair slightly. In the doorway stood Bucky Barnes. A blank expression covered his face, and while I could read others well, I couldn’t figure out what the man was thinking. He shut the door behind him and made his way to stand in front of me, then crouch down to my eye level.

               “I’ve disabled the microphones in here, but it won’t take long for the others to figure out how to fix them, so answer quick. Why were you in my head last night?” He questioned in a softer than usual voice. The slight kindness from yesterday was gone, and I feared my actions from the night before were not being perceived well. On the other hand, I wondered why he didn’t tell the others about me being in his head.

               “It’s like I told you. I fell asleep last night, and I must have been thinking about you right before, so I accidentally ended up in your dream. It wasn’t on purpose I swear.” I explained again.

               “Why were you thinking about me?”

               “I’m locked in this room alone. I was running through everyone I’d met, and you were the nicest, so it must have left a decent enough imprint to send me to your dream.” I tried to explain. Blue eyes changed slightly into what I could only interpret as a contemplative expression.

               “Why did you change the nightmare? Why not let it continue and just jump out of the dream when you could?”

               “You were scared. Really, really terrified. I hate seeing anyone look that way. So, when you agreed to let me untie you from that chair, I knew I had to do something to make it better.” I paused for a moment before speaking again. “We all have to deal with enough horrors in our waking lives. We shouldn’t have to experience them in our dreams too.”

               Bucky stayed silent for what felt like hours, but really could only have been minutes. He opened his mouth to ask another question but shut it quickly.

               “Hey Buck, the microphones were off for a minute there. You ok?” Steve’s voice asked while echoing through the room.

               “All good,” Bucky replied. With a quick warning glance to me, he started a new line of questioning.

               “Who do you work for?”

               “No one. At least no super villains. I literally work, as in a nine to five job, for a dick named Greg, but that’s marketing work and he doesn’t even pay me enough for that.” I snapped my mouth shut when I realized I had begun rambling. Bucky’s lips quirked a little before he continued.

               “Why were you in Steve’s dreams?”

               “The 40s, at least the way they were in his dreams, were really fun. I liked going to eat at an ice cream parlor or go dancing. It was a completely different world than the one I experience every day and I wanted to see it more. It’s like a Disney movie in his head.” Bucky let out a quiet laugh before composing himself again.

               “He does like Disney movies a lot but that’s a different conversation,” He explained while looked pointedly at the glass like he was looking at Steve. “Why did you go into his dream in the first place?”

               “I had been in some famous people’s dreams before, so I knew distance didn’t matter, but I didn’t know if him being a super person would keep me from being there. Originally, it was just a personal test to see if I could get in there, but I liked them, and I kept going back.”

               “And you realize if we find out you’re lying, there will be hell to pay?” He questioned with a cold look.

               “Yes,” I replied immediately. “I promise I’m not lying. I don’t know how to prove that but I’m not.” Bucky was silent again as he seemed to ponder something.

               “Can you bring someone with you when you dream walk, as you call it?” His question took me aback and it was a moment before I spoke again.

               “I’ve never tried it. I don’t think I could bring someone with me, but I could possibly enter two people’s consciousnesses at once.” My mind began racing with the possibilities of being in two people’s minds. Would they enter a joint dream space? Or would it form a strain on me as I existed in two different minds? Bucky asked another question, interrupting my train of thought.

               “Does the person have to be literally sleeping or will just unconscious work?”

               “Uh, they can be just unconscious,” I answered while still focusing on his previous question.

               “Why do you know they can be unconscious and not sleeping in the normal way?” Bucky asked. His voice had taken on a sharper tone and I realized my answer came off with nefarious connotations.

               “It wasn’t a bad reason! My brother was in the hospital after he got hit by a car when we were kids. Thy had him sedated for a couple days to help him heal and I would go hang out in his head to keep him company.”

               “Does your family know about this ability?”

               “No. My brother and parents wrote his dreams off as a side effect of the concussion he had.”

               Bucky nodded once, stood there for a moment longer, and then left the room. As the door shut behind him, my hope of going home after this ordeal quickly drained. I didn’t know what decision he’d made, but I was worried. After ten minutes of tense silence, the door opened again. Bucky stood there, and I could see Steve behind him with a strained expression.

               “You’re going to go into my head, but someone else is coming with me.”

Tag list (Please message me if you would like to be added to it):

@paradisiacalsparks @cals-cigarette @searchingforbucky @mavelfanatic @some-person-somewhere @marvel-th @unfortunately-im-awake @jessicakimba @fandom-addict-aesthetics @simplysaying @spnsquirrel @bxrnsfeyson @magnolialikes @buckyinantarctica @fluffymadamina 

[ijustreallylovezebras]

The Smell Of Books - Part Ten

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader

Summary: The reader works in a bookshop as a co-owner. Loki begins to work in the store after moving permanently to Midgard. They find love between the pages of second hand books

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing, shouting, etc

A/N: sorry again for the long break before posting this part - but I hope you like it!!! Please remember to like, reblog, send asks and let me know what you think!! I kinda really like this part so please let me know!! As I said in a previous post, my tag lists have been wiped and started from scratch, please refer to the tag post I made before asking to be tagged!!

One of my favourite places to be was Ron’s coffee shop. It was a local cafe, an individual one similar to mine and Eva’s bookshop meaning that it was oftentimes rather empty, save for the locals.

The street on which mine and Ron’s shops resided was full of local independents like ours - there was Toby’s Record Shop, the Stevenson’s family bakery and Phil’s newsagents on the corner, to name a few of the stores I frequented on an almost daily basis.

And it was not uncommon for all of us store holders to bump into each other in Ron’s cafe. It was a favourite for anyone who had visited and Ron never forgot a face - he would ask customers he had met merely once about their life story, kids, husbands, wives, school. And people shared because Ron was that kind of person. And, if someone seemed down or having a hard time then Ron was quick to offer them an extra slab of cake or one of his coffee experiments by way of cheering them up.

It was Ron’s overwhelming friendliness that had attracted me to buying my little store on River Street.   

I sat at my favourite table in Ron’s cafe, a chai latte between my hands and a slice of coffee cake in front of me. I had brought a book, as I always did, but I had yet to open it, my mind preoccupied with other things.

Eva things, to be exact.

And Loki. Always Loki.

“You going to tell me what’s wrong or am I going to have to guess?” Ron asked, easing himself into the seat opposite me. I gave him a smile that I knew I couldn’t keep my exhaustion out of and shook my head, letting out a long breath.

“I’m fine, Ron,” I promised. “Just tired from all the shop admin.” Ron reached his wrinkled hand across the table and grabbed one of mine.

“I know when you’re not fine, Y/N,” he confided. “It’s in your eyes.” 

“Then my eyes are lying because I’m fine,” I insisted.

“Is Loki giving you grief?” He inquired. I looked at him for a moment, hesitating before answering.

“Not in the way you would think,” I paused. “Or hope,” I added with a laugh. Ron’s eyes crinkled with the smile I had grown to know so well over the years.

“You love him?” 

“Love is a strong word.” I countered.

“And yet...” Ron trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

“And yet,” I conceded. Ron nodded sagely.

“I suspected as much,” he looked at me hard for another few minutes before shaking his head again. “But that’s not what’s bothering you,” he decided.

“What gave it away?” I laughed.

“Because that’s never been the most important thing to you, has it?” Ron blinked a couple of times, clearly expecting me to cut in but I remained in silence, not wanting to admit anything that may make what was on my mind clear. “What’s going on with Eva?” 

Tears sprung to my eyes at his gentle tone and I turned my gaze to the table to try and hide my expression from the kind old man.

“Are you telepathic or something?” I laughed tearfully, bringing one hand up to cover my mouth. My eyes fell shut and I prayed to every God I knew - Thor and Loki excluded, they didn’t need to know what was going on - for my tears to remain unshed.

“I’ve seen a lot, Y/N, I’m old. I know when you’re hurting,” Ron confided, his tone was gentle and supporting and I wanted to hug him. 

“I don’t know how you do it, Ron,” I finally said.

“Do what?” Ron’s brow was creased in confusion.

“Get everyone to tell you their secrets,” Ron laughed openly at that.

His laughter was all the encouragement I needed to tell him what was going on. I confided about Loki’s first day, the books we’d shared, the notes we’d exchanged, the argument we had had. The argument itself seemed trivial in heindsight, yet at the time it had appeared to be the worst thing in the world. I got on to talking to Loki only yesterday and finding the hidden note in Eva’s room.

“What did he say in the note?” Ron asked, seemingly entranced by the tale.

“I don’t know - I haven’t read it yet,” I admitted. “I’ve been too scared - once I read it, that makes all of this real. I’ll have to talk to Eva, then to Loki and... I’m kind of content living in peace and obliviousness,” I told him. Ron shook his head disapprovingly, though the smile on his face was somewhat affectionate.

“You deserve better than content, Y/N. Whatever has been said in Loki’s note is clearly important - to him and, probably, to you. And even, at a stretch, to Eva.”

“How on Earth would it be important to Eva?” I asked incredulously.

“Because it seems to me that she’s scared of loosing you.”

“Eva?” I paused in the doorway to her room. I lent against the frame in my pyjamas.

“Yeah?” Eva asked, sat on her bed and pulling on some socks - how she wore socks to bed I would never understand.

“I have to talk to you,” Eva looked up, concern etched onto her features.

“Is something wrong?” I paused, debating whether or not to go through with it. I nodded hesitantly.

“Yeah - there is, actually,” I held up the piece of paper clutched in my hand. “Why did you have this?” Eva glanced up.

“What’s that?”

“A note that Loki wrote to me,” Eva froze at those words. “He put it in a book he was returning ages ago - and you took it,”

“Did you go into my room?” She asked instead.

“That’s not the point right now.” I argued, desperate to keep on track.

“No - did you go through my stuff?” Eva insisted, standing from her bed so she was face to face with me, a wounded expression on her face.

“Loki told me that he left me a note - I knew you had to have taken it. I didn’t go through anything. I picked it up from your desk,” I huffed in frustration. “Why did you take it?”

“Because he’s not good for you!” She finally busted out. I stared at her.

“I’m not a kid, Eva,” I hissed.

“I’m not saying that you are-”

“Then let me make my own fucking decisions!” I shouted.

“Not if it’s going to get you hurt!” She insisted.

“I’m a grown fucking woman, Eva.”

“And yet you don’t seem to know better than to become the whore of an arsehole who tried to take over the world!” She screamed. I stared at her and took a couple of steps back.

“Fuck you,” I spat, turning away.

“Where are you going?” She asked, following me out into the hallway, watching me grab my coat from the rack, taking my keys from the side table by the door.

“Away from you!” I screamed, slamming the door on my way out.

I rushed down the stairs into the empty shop, ensuring I locked it on my way out. I paused as I got outside and rested my back against the door, taking deep breaths as I slid down the wood coming to the realisation that I had nowhere to go.

It was a long shot to come here, I knew as much. I had never been before and, chances were, no one who I knew would answer the door. 

But it was the one place I could think of.

I pressed the intercom button and waited for a response, shivering in the cool summer’s evening. The intercom crackled to life.

“Hello?”

“Hi - my name’s Y/N Y/L/N? I’m a... friend of Loki’s?” I offered unsurely.

“A friend?” He inquired after a long pause.

“Well, he um, he works for me?” I suggested.

“Oh - the bookshop girl. Thor told us about you. Let me buzz you in,” two seconds later the gates to the Avenger’s compound opened.

I walked up the long drive and the door was open already, a figure standing in the light.

“Y/N?” It was Loki - dressed more casually than I had ever seen him before. “I didn’t realise Stark was being serious,” he admitted.

“Sorry,” I whispered, dropping my gaze to the floor.

“Are you - are you okay?” He asked. When I looked up at him the concern in his eyes was clear.

“I - I didn’t know where else to go,” it was then that the first sob of the evening ripped out of my throat. Loki didn’t hesitate before closing the gap between us and hugging me as tight as he could manage.

[lexiecarver]

Bloodlust Pt.1- Vampire!Crowley

Pairing: Crowley x Reader :)

Word Count: 3,819

A/N: Sorry this part is so long. My muse just kept going. I did this for a ton of challenges. This was written for @spnfanficpond’s writing challenge with the prompt, “Not everybody is out to kill you.” “Says the guy who kidnapped me!” This was also written for Miami’s Gods and Monsters challenge, @moonlitskinwalker. Happy b-day hun, hope you like the story. The prompt was Vampire Crowley and “Here I was thinking you were just a pretty face.” This was also written for @supernaturalpromptchallenge with the prompt, curse. This was also written for @whispersandwhiskerburn’s Angels' 750 Follower Celebration Challenge with the prompt, “I’m all about the service darlin’.”- Sons of Anarchy. I bolded the prompts used. Angst and fluff with smut in part 2. Enjoy.:)  Also on AO3    Part 2

Crowley closed his eyes against the screams.  His previous victims haunted his mind. Their faces, their screams, their pleas for mercy. It was too much. Some days it’s harder than others. He really didn’t want to be a monster anymore but the bloodlust was so strong. He was craving blood every second of the day. His hands shook as he grabbed his coffee mug. He was weak without the blood but he refused to be a monster. One week sober from blood, he should get a medal. He could get by with just a taste here and there but the memories never left him. It would be so easy to just drain any of the women in the club, sink his teeth in and close his eyes as the memories, the pain, the knowledge of the evil he is all go away with the high. In those moments, nothing mattered as pleasure and power just coursed through his body. But he was tired of that life. Tired of hiding behind the blood. He wanted to be better, to show his mother that he didn’t deserve this curse. That he could be a man worthy of love for a woman. The only question was whether he fully believed it himself. He had spent hundreds of years of solitude never thinking he had anything to offer except death.

Your friends nearly pulled you through the doors of “Hell”. You’d never been to a strip club before and with a name like Hell you understandably felt a little hesitant. Not to mention that you were wearing a gorgeous black lace and silk dress. A bit too fashionable for a strip club. But you preferred to look your best no matter what. Clubwear wasn’t your cup of tea. Your friends figured since you were all single, you’d have some fun with hot guys as you watched them take their clothes off. You were more of a relationship kinda gal so it was awkward for you to objectify men like that. But you didn’t feel like having a philosophical discussion about men and relationship with your friends. What you wouldn’t do for friendship. All eyes were on you naturally. You stuck out like a sore thumb, your innocence obvious due to the blush on your face. You looked down at the floor as your friends picked a seat close to the stage. You ignored everyone’s eyes. Had you looked up, you would have seen a club full of hungry black eyes staring at you, warning you of the kinds of employees here. You groaned internally at being this close to the stage but put on a smile on for your friends.

The second that you entered the club Crowley’s eyes glowing red, the vampire curse flowing through him. Crowley was the first vampire ever in existence, turned by a curse, hence the red eyes. His employees, all whom he sired, had black eyes. Crowley sniffed the air and smelled you even from all the way over there. You smelled like freesia and beach. It was such a comforting, beautiful smell. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He knew right then and there that you were meant for him. He had heard that vampire had mates but he was sure after all the things he’d done, he would never get one. Screams of his victims echoed in his head, the blood pumping through him. He could feel the hunger growing.

“Drink her like you did all of us. Let her make you feel better. It’s been a week but you can’t stay away. Feed on her. Kill her.”

The voices were merciless today. He growled loudly as he fought to gain control over himself. He hoped that you would be the one to save him from this hell.

His bestie Dean knocked on his office door. Crowley ushered him in. Dean looked at his master. He looked wrecked and tired and his eyes were still glowing red.

“Are you okay, boss? I heard you growl from backstage and wanted to check.”

“Such a good friend Dean. I- I’m having a bad day.”

Dean knew exactly what Crowley meant. He offered his arm to him but Crowley waved him off. Smiling back at him fondly. Crowley grabbed his hand.

“I’ll be fine, Dean. I’m several hundred years old. One bad day is not going to get me down. I just think I found my mate in this club. She brought on the bloodlust. I’ll be fine, trust me.”

Dean looked unsure but nodded and left the boss to his thoughts.

The second Dean left, Crowley’s attention turned to you. His eyes looked you up and down groaning when he saw how the dress hugged all your curves deliciously. His tongue darted out as he licked his lips. He inched out of his office not wanting to be too obvious. He moved off to the side of the stage across from you with two tables between you. A waitress immediately came over to him, curtseying. He ordered Craig and within a minute the waitress gave him his drink. His eyes never left yours. He took in your blush, your discomfort at being here, the warm smile that lit your face and your sparkling eyes. He closed his eyes and replaced the haunting memories with those of you smiling. He imagined it was because of him. Slowly he opened his eyes looking at the stage.

“Welcome to Hell, ladies. My name is Brady, I do hope you stay awhile. We have the finest examples of men you have ever seen but careful, they do bite though not hard. For your viewing pleasure, I’d like to introduce you to the famous Winchester brothers, Dean and Sam. Enjoy.”

Your mouth hung open when you saw them come out. They were beyond gorgeous and their eyes were black, black as sin itself. That had to be an effect of the lights right? Dean was eye fucking you as he rode up and down the pole. He tore off his shirt and you sighed. Sam did the same thing and you gripped the chair. Both brothers had six packs and deliciously prominent muscles. Imagine the power in their arms. The power their thrusts would deliver. Fuck. OK, so you started to see the appeal of strip clubs. Their smiles got hungrier as they stared at you and your friends. Dean winked at you and Sam gave you such an intense look, you thought he’d throw you against the wall and fuck you right then and there. You were like a deer in the headlights.  You couldn’t bring yourself to look away. You gulped loudly still clutching the table in front of you. It was all too much. Weren’t they just supposed to dance? And not eye fuck you? Your friends encouraged them and started screaming and asking them to come over. You had a bad feeling with the looks you were getting.

Crowley was not happy with the way his boys were looking at you. He saw Dean smell the air. He was smelling you. You were Crowley’s, not Dean’s. He should have told Dean you were his when he showed up in his office but Crowley never thought he’d like you, too. Dean was dangerous, he had no self-control even in all the years Crowley had tried to teach him it. Dean was all impulse. He might very well kill you trying to turn you and Sam was no better. He could smell your fear. You were a smart girl to be afraid. He also smelled your arousal, which he was none too happy about. He would have to protect you from them and this world. But you were normal, human. You knew nothing about monsters. You blushed coming in here. He had to tread carefully with you. He wasn’t losing his only chance at a normal life, at love because he went too fast. He would prove his mother wrong with how much he could love you and maybe she would turn him back and he could love you properly and if not, then he would cherish eternity with you. A part of him knew that everything he touched, everything he did, turned into something horrible and it would be better to erase your memory and send you off … but he couldn’t do that. He needed you even if it damned you both.

The second Dean and Sam were finished with their number they leapt off the stage to your table. Dean’s eyes bored down on you with Sam at his side smirking.

“Look at the scared little mouse. Don’t worry honey I won’t harm you. Come in the back and I’ll give you a private dance. I’m all about the service, darlin’.”

His warm breath ghosted on your chest as he lowered his face to yours, his arms on the back of the chair. Crowley came up to you both flashing red eyes and instantly Dean backed off choosing your friend instead.  

“That woman is my mate!”

Dean and Sam’s eyes went wide. Dean looked down and gulped. Sam stared at you.

“Forgive me sir. I didn’t know,” Dean said telepathically.

“Now you do,” Crowley growled.

Dean and Sam bowed their heads respectfully to Crowley. Your friends were all too happy to go in the back with Sam and Dean. Everyone loved the Winchesters except you. There was something off about them, about this whole place. Your friends were beyond excited, willingly accompanying the boys through the velvet ropes. You tried to tell them you were concerned but they were hearing none of it. Dean was disappointed he wouldn’t get to taste you but he knew better than to get in bad with the boss. Mates were rare, He was happy his boss finally found his even if he really wished you could be his. Dean walked off holding your bestie’s hand.

“Don’t you dare kill them, Dean. Drink them a little, tease them, sure, but don’t kill them like last night. Make sure you bring them home none the wiser. I’m serious, Dean!”

Dean was planning to have a little more fun than just a quick bite and a tease.

“I’m your sire. You will obey me, boy.”

Dean’s eyes flashed black with anger at being spoken to in this way.

“Fine,” he grumbled

Now that he knew your friends would be safe, his attention turned back to you. Surprisingly he saw you bolt out of the chair and glare at him. You kept a fighting stance unsure of what was going on here but ready for a fight.

“I have no idea what kind of club this is but I’m done. I’m waiting for my friends in the coffee shop across the street. And I didn’t need saving. I wasn’t going anywhere with that man. I could have taken him.”

Crowley’s eyebrows went up. The scared dove was actually a firecracker. He smiled at you sizing you up.

“I see. Well, as the owner of Hell. I do humbly apologize for anything my boys did. They can be quite intense but I assure you, you are quite safe to wait here. I will personally make sure that no one bothers you, honey.”

“Y/N.”

“Excuse me, dear?”

“My name. You can call me that as opposed to honey. You have to earn that term.”

Crowley smirked back at you.

“Crowley.”

“Well, Crowley, thank you for the apology but I don’t know you and I have no idea whether I’m safer with you or outside in a café. What do you think? Well, lit-café or seedy club?”

“My club is not seedy.”

“Aren’t all strip clubs seedy?”

“It’s late, dear, and it’s dark. Let me walk you over to the -.”

“I like you, Crowley. I really do. If we’d met somewhere else aside from here I’d be all over you. Older, suave, sassy, protective. You’re catnip to me. Totally my type but if you’ll excuse me, I really do need caffeine, so -.”

Crowley froze. You admitted liking him but didn’t like his occupation. He was a vampire, not really a club owner. This was all just a cover. Would that change anything? He didn’t really want to let you go. He had a lot of enemies and it was late. To get across the street, you’d have to walk in the alleyway. A lot of things happened in that alleyway but if he said no now, he would seem like a major creep.  And you would be afraid of him or fight him. He would lose you for sure. But you may get attacked if he let you go. Swallowing he looked into your eyes seeing the same steely determination he usually had. He stepped back reluctantly and let you leave.

“Watch her. Stay by her, that’s an order”, he telepathically told his vampire bouncers. They nodded.

“I could walk with you,” he pleaded from behind you.

You smiled before turning around. “Insistent, aren’t you? I’ll see you soon enough when I pick up my friends. And I think an establishment needs the owner present during business hours. Don’t cha think?”

He smiled at your sassiness. He loved your fierceness and your ability to sass him every minute. You were catnip to him. You pulled up the collar on your coat, the wind whipping your hair. You walked fast not liking the alleyway, not liking the whole night really except for Crowley. You were brought here by your friends and they ditched you for men. “Great girls’ night out, “ you muttered under your breath. You felt eyes on you but ignored it, nearly running to the crosswalk but you didn’t make it. A figure emerged from the shadows waving his hand and pinning you to the wall.

“Well. Well, what do we have here?”

Lucifer smelled your neck before licking it and then cautiously biting you. You screamed trying desperately to move. One of the bouncers was held back by Lucifer, the other exploded with a snap of his fingers. This was exactly what Crowley was afraid of. Lucifer’s eyes turned red with bloodlust as he started back at you.

“And here I was thinking it would be a boring night. No wonder Crowley nearly begged you to let him escort you. You smell delicious and look fantastic. I can’t wait to feel you. You will make a gorgeous little trophy wife.”

In a blink of an eye, he cut his wrist and forced it against your lips. His eyes glowed as his influence took over forcing you to drink. You tried harder to move. Crowley dove down from the rooftops falling on Lucifer. The hold he had on you faltered.

“Ouch. That hurt. You’ve come to save your mate. How cute but your weak, old man. You haven’t feed in a week. You really think you can defeat me? With what steely determination? How chilling!”

Crowley growled fiercely. His eyes glowing red and his fangs descended. Your breathing was slower, you felt dizzy and slowly lifted your hand to your neck noticing blood on it. You wiped your lips and saw more blood, his blood. You tried to throw it all up but nothing came out. You started to panic. Crowley knew he needed to get you to safety and now.  Lucifer pushed him off.

“You’re always taking all the good things for yourself. You have the club and such a clever little way to get blood and what do I have? I have to survive on scraps? No, I don’t think so. This one’s mine. Oh, spoiler alert, she already drank my blood. Whoops.”

Lucifer laughed maniacally as he looked at Crowley’s tortured face. Your vision was getting spotty but you saw them both with red eyes. You looked back at your hand; your head was bobbing from side to side. Your eyes suddenly becoming very heavy. Crowley mind-melded with Dean who instantly saw what was happening. He lifted his head from your friend’s neck putting everyone to sleep and locking the door. He grabbed Sam and they ran out of the club. Crowley was out of practice fighting or rather he didn’t wish to access that part of himself. That darkness was difficult to shut down if he opened it. He tried his best but Lucifer was gaining the upper-hand until Dean came up behind him and jammed a wooden stake in his heart.

“You should really pay attention to your surroundings, Lucifer, and less on winning,” Dean said as he twisted the stake in Lucifer’s heart.

Lucifer whirled around in a fury ready to kill Dean when he suddenly crumbled bit by bit screaming, leaving only ashes in his place. You were finding it hard to breathe, not really sure what you were seeing. Sam ran over to you holding your head up and looked into your eyes. His eyes held only concern for you and no malice or lust as before. He gently placed you against the wall looking down at your neck. He looked back at Crowley who ran over. Sam held your neck up while Crowley licked the wound sucking out some of Lucifer’s claim on you. The wound closed and you collapsed in their arms. Sam carefully placed you in Crowley’s arms.

“Thank you both.”

“Anytime, Crowley.” Sam offered.

“You care for her, don’t you.”

Crowley doesn’t say anything. He just looks down at you smiling.

“It’s about time, Crowley, “ Dean says smirking as he and Sam go back into the club.

“We’ll take her friends back. Have a good night, boss,“ Sam added.

Crowley kisses your forehead as he teleports back to his mansion, carefully placing you on the bed. He didn’t want any of this. This was why he should have just left you alone but he couldn’t. You were hurt because of him. What was he going to say when you woke up? And would you see the man behind the monster?

*       *        *       *       *         *         *          *        *       *       *      *       *       *       *      

You groaned feeling very soft sheets under you. Your arms shot out and you stretched, arching your back. Slowly you opened your eyes and were met with the worried eyes of Crowley. You were confused about how you got here and then you remembered the attack. He wasn’t human and now you were in his lair. Crowley felt your fear and sighed deeply.

“Not everybody is out to kill you.”

“Says the guy who kidnapped me!”

“You would have preferred that I left you there in the alleyway?”

“You’re a vampire, aren’t you?”

“Here I was thinking you were just a pretty face.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Let’s cut the bs here. You, Dean and Sam, are all vampires and you saved me from another one.”

“Yes, actually I told you not to go but you had to have your cup of coffee.”

“How male of you. Blaming the woman for getting attacked.  How about you for making such messed up enemies. What kind of person knows someone like that? And why didn’t you say -.”

“I’m a vampire who is completely in love with you at first sight and I want to keep you safe, so stop being stubborn. My enemy is outside so stay here and be my mate.”

You blinked back at him.

“Yeah, I don’t think that would have worked.”

“You’re in love with me?”

“You’re my mate. I am positive about that. You smell like heaven to me. I know it’s a lot to take in. Vampires exist and we have mates. Want me to prove it to you?”

“Can you?”

“Yes, I can.

You moved closer to the headboard groaning a bit. Crowley was at your side in a second holding you down.

“Lucifer is very powerful and I’m afraid he bonded with you before I could stop him. I couldn’t fully sever the bond. Your body needs rest. Don’t move one bit. I will take care of you. May I touch you?”

You were taken back by his question. He had saved your life after all and now he was asking if it was okay to touch you? You were still frightened by what vampires were capable of. You saw Lucifer blow someone up before your very eyes. And to think you were bonded to him now. You wanted more than anything to be at home and for all of this to be just a bad dream. But it wasn’t and Crowley saved you. You felt safe with him even if he was a vampire. He smiled down at you as he gingerly took your hand in his. His touch was so gentle, you sighed at the feeling of his flesh on yours. Crowley closed his eyes and spoke to you in his mind.

“You are my true mate, you will be able to see the things I’ve done but I caution you, I’ve done bad things. I have been a monster but I hope maybe I don’t have to be anymore. I want to change and become a better man. I want you to know who I am.”

You gulped when you looked into his eyes seeing such love there. You closed your eyes as you suddenly saw everything that he had done. You saw his victims and his own mother cursing him. He wasn’t lying when he said he was a monster. You felt his loneliness and pain. You felt his struggle with his bloodlust. Then you saw today from his eyes, felt his feeling for you, felt his connection to you and you knew you were really safe. You squeezed his hand and gestured to the bed. Crowley walked around the bed, careful to not come too close. You moved over a tad to give him more room, groaning again. His eyes flashed red before turning to you.

“The only real way to sever the bond is -.”

“To mate with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Crowley smiled back at you and shook his head.

“There is nothing I want more than to claim you and keep you safe but you need to be sure. There is no going back after this. I don’t think you can make a decision that will affect the rest of your life in two hours. Rest here. I will come back in the morning and if you still want to mate with me then, I will do so.”

You smiled back at him.

“How gentlemanly of you.”

He kissed the back of your head and teleported to the vampire council meeting.  He felt you fall asleep and knew that you were safe there. His bodyguards and the warding wouldn’t let anyone in to cause you any harm. He sat on his throne as the vampires told him the issues of the day.

[karamelsecretsanta]

Karamel Fanfic: As long as you are safe

Author: @emarasmoak

Rating: General Audiences

Characters’ tags: Kara Danvers, Mon-El, Imra Ardeen, Querl Dox, Winn Schott

Additional tags: Karamel Secret Santa 2017, KSS 2017, Karamel fanfic, Karamel endgame, Angst, Legion of Super-Heroes

Fic summary: Mon-El has been able to keep focused on the mission, but this may change once Brainiac meets Kara. Written after 3x09.

Notes: This fic is a gift for @chriswoodfandom and part of the 2017 Karamel Secret Santa Exchange

Merry Christmas, darling!!! I love your blob and your endless fangirling about Mon-El, Karamel and Chris Wood!! (3 of my favourite things in the world). This is a multi-chapter story and I’m working on it.

Also I want to send a million thanks to my wonderful beta, @kbcountry37-blog. She is the best! All mistakes are only mine.

Chapter 1: Brainiac’s move

Chapter summary: Brainiac asks Kara out on a date in Mon-El’s presence. Mon-El’s POV.

———————————————————————–

We have just finished the debrief after our return from Fort Rozz and I hear Brainiac talk to Kara.

“Our records mentioned your strength and your intelligence, but I see that they do not properly reflect your beauty and grace. I have heard Mon-El talk about your eyes often but I was not aware that your hair could shine like that. Watching you fight was exciting. I find you very attractive.” Said Querl.

I can see Kara glancing at me with a pained expression when Querl mentions me, but she then looks back at him with an akward smile.

“Err… thanks, I guess.” Kara says.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?” Querl asks her.

“What?” Kara responds.

“What?“ I say. It seems that Kara and I have spoken at the same time.

“Dinner. With me. Isn’t this the appropriate social convention when someone has a romantic interest in a woman in this century?” Querl asks.

Kara blushes, and opens her mouth to respond to Querl and I suddenly find myself talking before she can say a word. "You can’t.“ I declare.

"I can’t?" Querl asks as he looks back at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

"They can’t?" asks Winn with very wide eyes.

Damn Brainiac. Is he doing this to irritate me? It is working. Annoying jerk.

I can hear Imra’s voice inside my head. "What are you doing, Mon-El?”

I can feel Kara’s eyes on me and I try to ignore everyone else while I speak to Querl. “You can’t. We have to work on our ship. We need to repair it. Remember?" I ask him with a pointed expression.

"You can keep on working on that on your own. Aren’t you a qualified engineer?" Querl challenges me.

He knows perfectly well that the ship is not that broken and that we could fix it if we wanted to. I cross my arms and I try to give him my best "this is an order” face. "I am. But I need to pick your brain on the therian pump. Isn’t superior intelligence your superpower, Brainy? We have go to the ship right now.“ I say. 

My face is a scowl and I can sense Imra’s voice. She is almost face palming. "Both of you! Stop whatever this stupid game is. Grief, I work with children" Imra says in our heads.

"Okay. I will follow your orders as our supreme leader.” I can hear amusement in his voice. “Kara, I still want to have dinner with you whenever possible. Maybe tomorrow?” Querl says.

“Sure. Make it tomorrow.” Kara says with exasperation in her voice.

Uh oh. I know this tone. Kara is angry. Probably at me.

“Yes, she is.“ Imra states in my head.

Querl looks at me again and winks. What is he up to? Brainiac smiles at Kara and leaves. I start moving towards the exit after him and then I hear her voice.

"Mon-El, wait." Kara says. 

She has put her hand on my elbow and I feel powerless.

"I need to talk you for a second. Alone.” Kara says.

I open my mouth to say "No”. 

“Please?” Kara asks.

“Mon-El, don’t!“ Imra says telepathically.

Kara's eyes have always been my Kryptonite. "Of course. Do you want to talk somewhere else?” I ask her.

“Sure. The training room will do.” Kara states.

Imra gives me a warning in my head. “Remember that I cannot help you unless we are in the same room.“ 

“I know." I reply. I can feel Imra’s worry while I leave with Kara.

I enter the room after her, and she ensures that the window blinds and the doors are closed. Then she turns around and looks at me.

"What was that?” Kara asks.

Crap.

“What was what?” I reply.

She scoffs, "I can’t believe it.“ She says.

Yep, she is very angry with me now.

"What?" I say. I try to look like I don’t know what she is talking about, but I’m well aware that it won’t work.

"Stop this. You don’t get to act as if I am anyone else. You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” Kara says.

I do. But I still hope that if I fake ignorance she will let this go. 

“No, I don’t.” I reply.

She huffs and gets closer to me. Rao, help me. I just want to kiss her so bad.

“You forget that I know you, and this is not the first time that I have seen this display of macho jealousy. It doesn’t look good on you, Mon-El.” Kara tells me.

“Jealousy? Pffft. No. Querl…” I say.

“Mon-El, please” Kara says. She looks at me with sadness in her eyes. "Please don’t do this. Not to me. I don’t understand you. I’m so confused. I need you to be honest with me. Please, Mon-El. What is going on with you?“ 

It breaks my heart that I can’t be honest. I hesitate. Rao, I hate this. I feel a pain in my chest and I look into her eyes. I can see unshed tears and I feel the need to hug her. I want to touch her face. I need to kiss her. She looks at my lips and I look at hers. I can feel her body so close to mine. My heart is stammering in my chest. I shouldn’t kiss her. Our breaths are mingling now. Our foreheads are almost touching and I can see turmoil in her eyes. My hand starts to move towards her face. 

I have to leave immediately. I move away from her. I cannot look at her, or I will kiss her and damned be the world. "I’m sorry, Kara. I have to go now.” I tell her.

“But…” she says.

At this point I’m almost running out of the room, and I feel like a coward.

I go to the ship, and I find Imra waiting for me in the Legion common room. I start to pace around the big table. 

“It didn’t go well, did it?” Imra asks me.

“You know that I hate when you enter my mind without my permission, Imra.” I tell her.

“Should I remind you that I have your permission to do it whenever I feel that it is necessary to keep you focused on the plan? Your plan. Your orders. And we both know that you were about to tell everything to Kara. And I didn’t even need to enter your mind to know it. It is obvious.” Imra states.

I stop near her and scratch my face. "I’m sorry, Imra. You are right. And I know that you are trying to help. It’s just… I couldn’t control my emotions. I shouldn’t have let Querl’s words to mess me up.“ I say.

"Yeah, I wonder what he is up to. He likes his games. And I accept your apology.” Imra replies.

“Thank you, Imra. I mean it.” I say. She nods and I sit down defeated in the chair closer to her. "I know that he can’t help behaving as an obnoxious jerk sometimes, but right now I have an intense desire to punch him in the face.“ 

"Yeah, I know the feeling. He has that effect on people.” Imra replies.

We both laugh and she then briefly touches my hand. "Are you okay? I can feel that you are having several conflicting emotions inside you.“ Imra states.

I scoff. That is the understatement of the year. I still feel an intense desire to go to the DEO, find Kara and kiss her senseless. I am upset because I can’t. I am so worried since her first fight with Reign. I swear to Rao that I thought that our records were wrong and that she was going to die. I have been so scared since that moment. Without Imra’s help I would have been unable to remain calm and focused on the mission.

I avoid Imra’s gaze. "Kara wanted to know what was going on with me. I lied to her again. I hate myself. I’m not being honest with her, and I’m hurting her.” I say.

“I know how you feel, Mon-El. Believe me, I know. I am the one that is helping you control your emotions, remember? You were the one who asked me to do it. And I still don’t like it. Kara should know the truth.” Imra tells me.

“You don’t know her, Imra. She would not care about her safety. It’s just the way she is.” I state.

“Even if we explain to her that her life is the key for the future of the world? That her survival is the only thing that can stop the spread of the darkness? That maybe that would prevent the World Killers from murdering Garth?” Imra says.

I look at Imra and I see one single tear in her face. I take her hand. Garth’s death was difficult for everyone, but I was the only one who could understand her pain about losing the love of her life forever.

We stay in silence for a minute, and then I talk again. "I know Kara. She will say that she will find another way, and she will try. In the end, it may not be sufficient. When the moment comes, she will not put her safety above others and everything will be lost. She can be a bit stubborn, you know.“ I explain to Imra.

"Then she reminds me of someone. Mon-El, you should at least tell her that we are not married and that you never stopped loving her. She feels the same about you. You deserve to be together. This situation is hurting both of you.” Imra says.

“I can’t. She knows me better than anyone else. If we get back together, she will find out that I have to die to protect her. She will try to stop me. She will risk everything to save me.” I state.

“She needs you. You need her. Even if you can only be together for a short period of time. Both of you are suffering so much. I sense the endless love each of you have for the other, and it’s overwhelming, Mon-El.” Imra says.

I say nothing, and then Imra sighs. "Mon-El.“ She whispers and I look at her. "If I could have Garth back in my arms for just one minute, I would take it. It would be worth it. I’m sure that it would be the same for you. For both of you.”

“That’s because you are stronger than me, Imra. I am a coward and I have always been. If I get to have Kara in my arms again I may not have the courage to give up my life when the moment comes.” I say.

“You are wrong. You are one of the bravest people that I have ever known, Mon-El. Your love for her is your strength. You need to talk to her.” Imra says.

“I won’t, Imra. I know that you want to help, but this is the right thing to do.” I tell her.

Imra looks at me with a sad smile in her face and says nothing. We have had this conversation so many times. We have discussed this repeatedly as a team and at the end the decision is always the same. This is my call, as the Legion leader and the person who knows Kara. She leaves me alone.

I sigh and I take the necklace out of my shirt. I need to feel it in my hands so it can give me some strength. Kara was right. We were so many years apart and she was always with me. I kept her in my heart and I worked hard to become the man that she believed that I could be. I feel shame because I’m lying to her again. I need to remember that she was the one who taught me that a hero has to do whatever it takes to protect citizens above else. I have to save the world from Reign’s destruction. I promise myself that I will be strong. I can do this, as long as she is safe.

I only wish that I could kiss her just once before my death.

———————————————————————–

Chapter end Notes: I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter and story. Specially @chriswoodfandom

[phantomdarksgirl]

[dusts off blog]

what up

I just finished reading BOTH The Hollow Earth trilogy and its sequel, The Orion Chronicles and my brain won’t shut up, so I’m gonna make this post.

Without going into spoilers, Hollow Earth was FANTASTIC. It’s been a while since I’ve had a book captivate me as much as the premise and plot of that trilogy have, which is why I was spurred to read The Orion Chronicles. I just wanted more adventures with Matt and Em and wasn’t quite ready to pick up another universe just yet.

The Orion Chronicles books were good, and I do still recommend them, but...man I just have THOUGHTS so spoilers ahead this is gonna be a long one.

The tone shift from Hollow Earth to Orion Chronicles makes sense to me. Matt and Em are 17 now. They’re more mature, growing up. Fine.  But I felt like the writing itself suffered from the change of publishers.  The style itself felt the same, but the pacing was all over the place, especially, I felt, in the third book.  There were places in the third book that were inconsistent from an editing standpoint, and passages I had to read twice because I was confused at omitted details that needed to be inferred.  I never had to do that with the first trilogy. Omitted details were easily inferred and not confusing to the narrative when done so.

I felt some crucial scenes and arguments we should have seen play out were just...glossed over. Like Em and Zach’s breakup and Em’s decision to stay with Matt instead of be bound to Zach. The overall premise of these books I felt was a wonderful expansion of the universe created in Hollow Earth, but I found its execution lacking, unfortunately.

And ESPECIALLY when it came to poor Zach.  There were times I was more interested in seeing the story from his perspective, to be honest, and we barely got anything until the third book. And even then I just have so many QUESTIONS that went unanswered.

Like....okay here’s a list

- How long has Zach been working for Orion? Did he join to find his mother? DId he know his mother was working for Orion before or AFTER joining? Was his decision to infiltrate the Carmarilla BECAUSE his mom was there?

- Was Zach always working for Cecilia during his infiltration? What was his in for this job? How did he climb the ranks so fast in a matter of months? Wasn’t Cecilia running the Carmarilla??

- When did Zach’s Animare powers start manifesting? You want me to believe in the 4 years between these series that he didn’t AT LEAST tell the twins about these powers? The ONLY OTHER PEOPLE in the world who are exactly like him? He wouldn’t be comfortable telling them or exploring those abilites with them? The entire first series they kept big secrets from the adults. Wouldn’t this just be another one?

- IS Zach even a hybrid? Sebina isn’t a guardian by definition. Tbh it’s not even clear what she really is since we never see her grow wings like Luca. If he’s not the product of a Guardian and an Animare, what IS he?

- If Vaughn is actually Zach’s dad, what the FUCK is Simon in relation to him? How did he come into the picture? Did Vaughn not raise him because of his Orion work? Did Simon KNOW Zach wasn’t his? I could swear Zach was described as looking like Simon in the first trilogy but I can’t remember clearly.

- Was his internship at the MOMA just his cover for his Orion work? I’m guessing so, but that wasn’t really cleared up.

- Did he ACTUALLY send Em’s portrait back or was it just a return to sender type deal? idk man that’s a nitpicky one but whatever.

- Where did Luca even TAKE them at the end of the book? Is he acting like Zach is his son too? Is Zach staying with Sebina now?

- Zach and Em were together for FOUR YEARS and you want me to believe now that they were just in lust that whole time? When Em mentioned she would break the Animare/Guardian child rules for him? I get she’s young and maybe blinded a little...but you REALLY want me to believe she was just in lust with Zach after everything they’ve been through? And she’s gonna be with Remy now instead?

This is ON TOP OF the fact that they spent three books building up Em’s longing for Zach and mentioning Zach’s hurt in the few chapters we get with him, ONLY for him to just...basically not acknowledge Em, WHO IS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE IN FRONT OF HIM I MIGHT ADD, or even talk to her.  There was no reunion or resolution of their conflict despite 3 books of build-up and I’m MAD ABOUT IT. The one time these two characters are in the same room and you’re telling me they don’t even have an awkward “hey glad you’re okay” moment? It felt so out of character for Zach, and it was difficult to understand his motives beyond getting close to his mother again.

And his whole hybrid-ness felt...not exactly shoe-horned in, but not quite thought out either.  I’m hoping more books are coming (hopefully written from Zach’s perspective!) that might shed light on this, but for now I’m just confused as to what his mother is as well as what he is.  And I’m bothered he was attached to his mother in the final scene we see him in when the only woman he ever loved (as mentioned in the book) was literally dead and brought back before his eyes.

I’m just confused and disappointed by Zach’s character arc. He’s the only main character from the first trilogy that feels like he got pushed to the wayside. The adults like Simon, Sandie, Jeannie, and Renard I can understand...but Zach deserved so much better imo. I was waiting for an awkward and heartfelt conversation between him and Em that never happened.

Again, I attribute some of this to the change in publishers.  While Hollow Earth had 2 years between the release of books, Orion Chronicles had 2 years between book 1 and book 3. That’s TIGHT deadlines imo, which would explain why things felt rushed or unpolished.

And it just makes me wonder what this series could have been if they had been given the time to edit and polish more thoroughly.  There were even places where lore they established in the first trilogy got ret-conned or ignored in the second, and while those details may be minor and forgotten over the period of writing (I get it that authors forget details sometimes), it still took away my enjoyment of the story on top of everything else.

Here are more questions not related to Zach:

- Renard and Jeannie BOTH left the islands at one point in the plot. Why were the islands still fine before Em, a descendent of Albion, showed up?

- Remy was able to save Em but not the Moor? Could he only conjure enough music to save one of them? Was the Moor’s head wound too severe to be saved? Why did he suffer NO repercussions from literally bringing someone back from the dead when he was nosebleeding over easier conjurations earlier?

- How does the reviving process work? Can Em not be out of range of Remy anymore or she’ll die again? The zombies he animated dropped dead when the music stopped. Where does the process bring a soul back vs an empty husk/zombie? Can it only be fresh corpses, I assume? (WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO THE MOOR TBH)

- How did Orion know Luca was going to attack the abbey and the headquarters? Did Zach warn them ahead of time, or did they just use the tracking device? Is the damage he did reversible? (For a series talking about hiding the supernatural this certainly seemed out in the open and blatant. Actually...most everything Luca did was :T)

- IS Caravaggio bound in the cage Zach created for him? Is Zach powerful enough to do that? As a Guardian/Animare hybrid (we assume), that might be possible, but again...it’s unclear if he just put Caravaggio in a painting or if he’s actually bound this time.

- Is Matt gay or bi? That’s a nitpicky one but man I gotta know. I was so excited when he was into dudes. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

- Speaking of Matt, where the FUCK did Lizzy come from? How did they meet? How did she come to the Abbey? Was she found by the Council? How are Animare and Guardians paired prior to their binding ritual? We never hear Matt telepath with her. She felt like a very one-note character that was shoved in for plot and never expanded on again. How long had she been with Matt and Em?

- Could the twins not join Orion if they were bound to guardians? Why did Matt feel it was a trap to be bound when he’s seen Guardians and Animare be apart before? (Like Sandie and Renard or Simon and Mara)

- What happened to Henrietta de Court? I assume she was arrested, but [shrugs]. We can infer Tanan died from the valerian root poisoning, but I wonder about her.

- How were the Watchers not bound to Hollow Earth by the monks of Era Mina? Is the Second Kingdom just like...another Hollow Earth or something?

- Matt’s eyes were a result of ‘time travel gone awry’...but why did it affect him and not Em? Both of them did about the same amount of time traveling in the first series. I would have been less skeptical about it if it was a result of unbinding Malcolm after the time travel, or like...even an incident after the first trilogy of Matt being reckless, but having it just be a time travel incident was vague and unsatisfying to me.

Overall, would I still recommend these books? Sure. I just wish the second trilogy was more polished like the first one felt, is all.

Zach Butler deserved better I will die on this hill. WHERE’S MY ZACH TRILOGY (or at least a book tbh)

(I definitely DO recommend the Hollow Earth trilogy though. I thought it was wonderful.)

[ael-xander]

The Darkening and the Lightening

Chapter Seven

Outside the cavern, Ilām province

Stephen looked to the Master, his hands covered with Ael’s blood. “We have to do something. I can’t let her die, Master.”

“I know, Stephen. We will do what we can to help her.” The Master placed two fingers over the heart area, sending healing energy into Ael’s body. “I’m not as versed at healing as the Ancient One or even Ael herself. But I’m good enough to provide this for her.” She offers a vial. “Stephen, I need to know if Ael means anything to you. This woman isn’t just a healer, you know that, right?”

Stephen nodded, his gaze never leaving Ael’s face. “She’s an empath. Technically, telempathic, touch telepath but limited. Something about her calls to me, Master. Being near her, I see things in new ways. She doesn’t take life for granted, Master. Something I did way too often in my past, something she saw.”

The Master nodded. “She knew you back then, that explains much about her. So she knew the old you, now you as the Master of New York. So many changes you’ve been through, Stephen. But what about her? What do you share? Do you truly care for her, Stephen? Or is this another one of those fleeting romances for you?”

Stephen bowed his head. He made no pretence of enjoying women before his accident or after his time as a sorcerer. “This is different, Master. The others, I loved, but there was always a feeling of the love not being fully there for both of us at the deepest level. Ael, since I met her at the party, seeing her talk to her godson, she reached something deep inside of me, Master.” He looked up into the Master’s eyes. “What do you need me to say, Master? Look at me, look into me. I’m falling for her. The others I just loved, no time. This isn’t the same.”

The Master nodded her head. “Take the vial, Stephen. She needs to take this. It will remove the poison. There will be weakness, Stephen. That can be remedied with rest. Her emotional wellbeing is a different matter.” The Master laid two fingers on Ael’s forehead and whispered softly. “Poor Ael, so much sorrow for a healer as gifted as her. Be good to her, Stephen.”

The Master left them, as Ael opened her eyes. “Stephen? How? Why? We have to go. The authorities. Home in Ilām, we can rest.” She reached up, touching his cheek, a soft smile on her face. “I’m sorry for this. It’s why I didn’t want you here. I meant to get out in time.”

“Well, we’re here now. I’ll get us back to the. Sanctum.” He picked up her pack and his, putting it on his back, then helped her to stand. “Hold onto me, Ael, my darling.” With a burst of power, he opened a portal, helping her walk into the Sanctum. “Wong, we’re back. I need your help. Ael’s been hurt.”

“I’m fine. Just weak. Very weak.” She stepped forward, her knees giving out. “Oh crap. Not good.” Ael grabbed the banner next to the stairs. “I’m worse than I thought.” She pulled open her shirt, seeing no mark where she shoved the dagger into her heart. “Well, that’s unusual.”

Stephen handed her the vial. “The Master said for you to take this.” She eyed it and sighed. Taking it from his hand, she opened it and quickly swallowed the contents, making coughing noises. “Nasty, crappy. Why can’t people learn to flavour this shite better? Why? I do it all the time!”

Stephen threw his head back and laughed. She shot him an evil look. “Tell me you like the nasty tasting shite.” He shook his head and swept her up in his arms. “No, Ael, I don’t, but you looked like a pouting ten year old. A gorgeous ten year old. Let me get you into bed, so you can rest.”

She laid her head against his chest. “Stephen? I’m sorry. No one deserves to deal with one daeva much less more. Why did you come?”

Stephen brought her into his suite, placing her on his bed. “You called out to the magic community. However, the Master noticed it had my signature tied to it. She came to me and told me. I wouldn’t have let you be alone much longer anyway, Ael.” He stroked her cheek. “You and I have much unfinished business to talk about from the other night. But not right now. Right now, you need to recover.”

He turned to leave, but Ael grabbed his arm, holding it tight. “Don’t leave, please. I..I don’t want to be alone. I can’t say I’m promising more than my presence, but I would like you here, please, Stephen.”

“I’ll stay, Ael. Let me ask Wong to bring up some food and tea for us. Anything particular you like?” He looked into her green eyes, watching her for signs of running. There were none.

“Any tea is good. Something light for food. Maybe toast or soup. But honestly, if there are potstickers, I’d love Wong for life,” Ael sighed, pulling off her shirt, revealing a black sports bra. “They are the gods gift to the universe.”

Stephen stared at the naked skin of her stomach and across the top of her chest. “Let me ask Wong.” He turned quickly, rushing out of the suite, the look of confusion on Ael’s face, haunting him. He paused, turning and walked to the door. “It’s not you, Ael. It’s me, you are beautiful. You’re injured and right now, I want nothing more than to touch you.”

She looked down. “Oh. I’m sorry. Do you have a shirt I can borrow then?” He went to a dresser and removed a well worn t-shirt, handing it to her. She slid it on. “Thank you. Better?”

“Yes, mostly. Get comfortable. I’ll get us some food.” He bent down, kissing her lips softly. “Ael, we will need to talk about what this is between us.”

“Yes, I think we have to.” She blushed and caressed his cheek before leaning forward, kissing his jaw. “There are things you have to know about me. Like the fact I’ve never dated before. Now go. Food.”

He looked at her, his head tilted. “You’ve never dated?”

“It’s a long story, Stephen. Go get us food and drink. Then I’ll explain about my Gram.” Ael sighed, undoing her pants. “Please?”

Stephen rushed to comply. Ael opening up was a rare thing, this he was sure. Plus, as much as he wanted to see her undress, he didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t ready for, though his body was more than willing. Once downstairs, he spoke to Wong. Together, they put together a quick meal for Ael and Stephen. “Thanks, Wong. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Starve, Stephen. You’d starve.” The man laughed. “Agreed, my friend.” He then headed back upstairs, where once he entered the suite, he saw Ael standing at one of his bookcases, looking at one of the books.

“You’re back. I hope you don’t mind me looking at the books.” She held out a copy of Mazuri’s Magical Herbs. “I’ve not seen a first edition like this before.”

Stephen nodded toward the small sitting area. “Come and eat some potstickers and tea. Wong says the potstickers are the best you’ll have anywhere.”

Ael slowly moved to the sitting area. “Thanks be to Master Wong. I adore potstickers. They’re what I lived on when I was in China and Japan for months helping out a few clients.” She picked up a plate and using a pair of chopsticks, grabbed a potsticker. Tasting it, she hummed happily. “Okay, so I need to beg Wong to either be my chef once a month or learn his recipe. This is divine.”

Stephen laughed and encouraged her to drink some of the healing tea that he and Wong put together for her and him. They talked about small things. Finally, Stephen asked. “What did you mean you never dated?”

“I dated once. I was seventeen. He was joining the army and wanted me to go with him. That was my first time having sex.” Ael looked past Stephen’s shoulder, her face clouded in memories. “That night, I was adamant to Gram, told her I was leaving with him. Gram used her ability, took me to see him.” She shook her head. “He was screwing one of my friends. Since then, I have never dated. One night stands? Yes. Go out with male friends? Yes. But to date, get romantic? No, I’ve not dated, Stephen.”

Stephen’s fists clenched in anger, but he controlled his voice. “So, we’ll date. Go slow. I promise, Ael. You don’t have to worry on me.”

Ael lifted a brow, putting out a hand. “Don’t promise what you can’t keep, Stephen. Remember, I’ve known you at the hospital. You were always a ladies’ man. I doubt you’ve changed much, even as a sorcerer.” She sipped her tea. “We’ll try this dating thing, but Stephen, I’m not expecting words of love and devotion. I don’t think I’ve believed in that since my parents died.”

Ael stood up, walked away from Stephen. “If there’s love in this world anymore, the only people who have it are my friends, Reed and Sue. I doubt I’ll ever see anything like that. Not with my past, not with what my Gram did, not with me as her agent.”

He heard the tears in her voice, but felt stuck in his chair. Stephen wanted to hold her, yet, he knew if he touched her, she’d reject him. “What did your Gram do to you, Ael?”

Ael turned, eyes wet with tears. “She made me kill my parents, Stephen. My parents who loved me like there were nothing more important in this universe. She told me to heal my mom using my dad as a power source. I’m a murderer, Stephen.”

Prologue   Chapter One:    Chapter Two:     Chapter Three:     Chapter Four:     Chapter Five:     Chapter Six:     Chapter Seven:     Chapter Eight:     Chapter Nine:    Chapter Ten:     Chapter Eleven:   Chapter Twelve:     Chapter Thirteen:   Chapter Fourteen:     Chapter Fifteen:    Chapter Sixteen:  Chapter Seventeen:    Chapter Eighteen:    Chapter Nineteen:     Chapter Twenty:     Chapter Twenty-one:

[paigenotblank]

A Brief Glimpse of the Future

Written for Nine Month and two of the prompts @doctorroseprompts:

The Ninth Doctor’s thoughts after Rose said no to travelling with him

Nine runs into an older Rose who is already married to him in the future. How does he react?

Pairing: Nine x Rose, Ten x Rose

Rating: Teen (to be safe)

AO3  TS

The Doctor trudged out of the TARDIS, pulled his collar up, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Head down, he made his way toward the Estriellian marketplace. He was trying his hardest to forget about the blonde girl that had turned down his offer to travel earlier. Don’t need anyone me, ‘specially not some stupid little ape who can’t even see what an idiot her boyfriend is. Better off alone. M’ life’s dangerous. Don’t have time to be worryin’ about anyone else anyway.

He reached a stall that had potentially useful looking parts. The scowl on his face kept everyone away, even the proprietor, while he browsed. He had just picked up a Trax’il'er stabilizing coil, when he was hit by wave of lust and a blurry vision of a woman performing a very explicit act on his person. His knees wobbled and he dropped the part to grab the table for support. He heard the purr of a woman’s voice in his head. {You’re back early. Couldn’t stay away?} He looked around in a panic. His mental shields weren’t where they should have been since the end of the Time War. Obviously, a telepath was taking advantage and amusing herself with him. He heard a giggle ring through his mind and felt a rush of anger. Oh, no she doesn’t. Ain’t gonna let anyone toy with me.

{Doctor? Is everything okay?}

His hearts skipped a beat. Hope spread briefly in his chest as he realized whoever it was knew him. Could someone else have… But then doubts started flooding his mind. No. I’d feel anyone else and I...whoever it is clearly entered my mind and found my name. An’ I’ll not let ‘em get away with that.

{Doctor, you’re scarin’ me. What’s wrong? Is Jenny okay?}

He stormed from the stall and looked around. All he saw was a sea of people shopping and bustling about. Nobody was paying him any attention.

He felt a faint trail of worry and followed it toward the large fountain in the town center. His eyes scanned the crowd. Each person his gaze fell upon was quickly sized up and discarded as the culprit. And then he saw them - an impossible blonde speaking with a red-head. He stood frozen as his jaw dropped and blood rushed past his ears.

Rose glanced up and spotted a face she never thought she’d ever see again in person.

“You!”

She slowly got to her feet.

Donna put her hand on Rose’s arm. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She glanced at her distractedly before moving towards the Doctor.

“Who’s that then?”

“That’s the Doctor.”

“Another one? What's it, like, the Martian version of John?”

Rose shook her head, eyes never leaving the Doctor. “No, I mean he’s the Doctor. Our Doctor.” She looked at Donna. “Remember how I told you he could change?”

Donna gasped and turned toward the unfamiliar version of her friend. “What happened, Doctor?” Donna glanced around. “Where’s Jenny? Did something happen to her?”

“Who’s Jenny? An’ who’re you?”

Rose ignored him as she reassured Donna. “He hasn’t regenerated. He’s...an earlier Doctor. He’s the Doctor I first met.”

Donna looked him up and down. “I swear, Blondie, your taste in aliens…”

Rose returned her attention back to the Doctor, and asked softly, “What’re you doing here?”

“Me? What am I doing here? What’re you doing here?”

Rose raised her eyebrow at his tone. “Had a little shopping to do, an’ this is one of my favorite markets.”

He glared at her. “Bit far from London wouldn’t you say? And a few millennia off. Who brought you here?”

“You did.”

“Impossible. I left you back on Earth with your idiot boyfriend.”

“Wh...what?”

“You turned me down not even an hour ago!” Rose covered her mouth in horror as understanding of when he was dawned.  “An’ now I find you at the first stop I make, half a galaxy away and 2400 years later.” He looked at her suspiciously. “What’re you playing at?”

Donna growled, “Oi, Spaceman. Is that how you talk to your wife?”

“Wife?” The blood drained from his face and he looked incredulously from Rose to Donna and back to Rose.

Donna rung her hands and cast an apologetic look at Rose. She mouthed, “Sorry.”

Rose stepped closer to the Doctor. She tentatively reached over their bond sending love and calm. {Doctor...}

He shuddered at her gentle telepathy. “You...you’re the telepath from earlier?”

A fiery blush heated Rose’s cheeks. “Sorry, thought you were my...erm, the Doctor in my timeline. An’ I...if I had known...it’s just you both feel the same in my mind.”

“But...I don’t understand.”

“God, Doctor. I never imagined you didn’t come right back. You never said.”

“Huh?”

Rose smiled at the Doctor. “When you asked me to come with you.”

“But-”

“You forgot to tell me she travels in time. You were gone only a second before you rematerialized and asked me again.”

His expression hardened. “I never go back and ask a second time.”

Rose cupped the Doctor’s face. “You did for me...will for me. An’ for what it’s worth, I regretted saying ‘no’ immediately. I didn’t need to know she traveled in time, I just needed the wakeup of you disappearin’ on me.”

He closed his eyes against the bright love that shone from hers.

She moved her fingers to brush through the Doctor’s short cropped hair. “Made me realize I never wanted to be without you again.” He leaned into her soft caress and opened his eyes slowly.

His hearts pounded in his chest and he felt a sinking in his stomach. “Rose, you can’t...I’ve done-”

Rose silenced him with a soft, quick kiss. “I know what you’ve done. An’ I love you...love all that you are.”

He took a steadying breath. “But-”

“No. No, buts. I know it’s a lot to take in, an’ I know you think you don’t deserve…”

“I don’t.”

“It gets easier, Doctor. There’re people who want to help you, jus’ have to let ‘em in.”

He stepped back and crossed his arms. “An’ I suppose you’re one of ‘em?”

Rose nodded. “I’m not the only one though. You’ve touched so many lives…”

“Mum, look what we-” Jenny pulled to a stop when she noticed Rose and the young Doctor speaking. She tilted her head as she considered him. “Dad?”

The Doctor stuttered, “D...Dad?”

““Blimey, there’s the dad-shock again.” The older Doctor strolled up and frowned. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Donna smirked and tilted her head toward his younger self. “Same man is right.”

Rose and the older Doctor both turned to their friend and admonished, “Donna!”

“Right, I’ll just be sitting on that bench over there while you deal with…” She gestured between Jenny, Rose, and the two Doctors. “...this.”

The younger Doctor was gawking at Jenny. “It’s...it’s not possible!”

Jenny asked, “What’s not?”

The younger Doctor looked from her to Rose. “She...she can’t be our daughter.” Rose pursed her lips. “You two are the same age!”

The older Doctor piped in, “Oh! Right. Progeneration machine. As you can see they, er, grow them very quickly on Messaline...She popped out this age. Really, she’s only 25 days old.”

Jenny huffed. “Dad, would you stop telling people that! I have all the knowledge of any other 19 year old.”

“But none of the experience. Ha, listen to me, I’m your old man and a genius.”

Rose noticed her first Doctor getting agitated, and she drew him away from her bickering family.

“Sorry, I know this must all be a bit overwhelming.” Rose took his hand and laced their fingers together.

He took a deep breath. “You look nearly the same age as when I left you.”

Rose smiled sadly. “I didn’t have as much time with you, this you, as I’d hoped.”

“Please tell me it was at least a good death? I didn’t…”

Rose laughed. “You didn’t trip over a brick or anything.”

His eyes widened. “Not the first time you’ve suggested that.” She smiled her special tongue touched grin for him. His eyes were drawn helplessly to her lips.

He cleared his throat. “Right…”

Rose squeezed his hand. “You died saving someone you loved.”

“You?”

Rose glanced at him through her lashes. “You think you might love me?”

The Doctor glowered at her, but she caught a slight twitching at the corners of his lips, and she smiled brightly.

“Blimey, Rose. Do I always look this daft when you’re flirting with me?”

She turned to her husband. “Hush you or it’ll be a while before you can find out again.”

She returned her attention to her first Doctor. “Yes. It was me. An’ I...I was so upset with you for changin’ when it happened that...I never did say ‘thank you.’”

“You don’t have to thank-” She pressed her finger to his lips.

“Please. Let me.” She took a deep breath and continued, “Thank you, Doctor. Thank you for always takin’ care of me, thank you for showin’ me that there was a better way of livin’, an’ thank you for going back and asking again even though you normally don’t.”

He opened his mouth but no words came out.

“I love you. My Doctor. Always.” Rose stood on her toes and kissed him. This man who would one day be her husband and who in this body had kissed her only once. A kiss that had never been more than a hazy memory for her. She pulled away and licked her lips. Savoring the crisp new memory as much as his taste.

He suddenly grabbed her around the waist and kissed her hard. Tongue slipping past surprised lips. It was a kiss of fear and hope, of greeting and parting, of past and future. It was a kiss of love. When they broke away, Rose was breathing heavily. The Doctor rested his forehead against hers.

“Go find me, Doctor.”

The Doctor released Rose and stepped away from her. His hands twitched and he took a few more steps back so as to not immediately pull her back into his arms. He could do no more than nod his head in agreement.

The older Doctor sidled up to Rose and put his arm around her shoulder. He kissed her head and looked at his past self. “It does get better. I know you expected Gallifrey to die with you. But it lives on in the people we saved and our hearts and…” He glanced at Jenny. “...our daughter.”

The younger Doctor stood there overcome by emotion. “Right.” He steeled himself and turned.

Rose called out after him. “Doctor!”

He glanced back at her.

“I just wanted to say...you and I, we were fantastic.”

He grinned widely. “I can’t wait.”

[lady-thor-foster]

Run To You // Sam Wilson x Reader P3

Pairing: Sam Wilson x POC Reader Word Count: 2k+ Warning: fluff, language, angst, abuse mentions, violence (justice) , FEELINGS

Summary: Andrew finally gets what he deserves. Steve makes a mistake. Healing from psychological trauma is always a lot easier said than done, but your newfound family makes sure you know you’re not alone. 

A/N: Holy hell! You guys are absolutely fantastic with your feedback! I can’t believe you like this so much!  This is probably going to end up have way more than 4 parts lmao. I cannae be stopped.

Inspiration: “In Repair” ~ John Mayer

“Too many corners in my mind, So much to do to set my heart right. Oh, it’s taking so long, I could be wrong, I could be ready. Oh, but if I take my heart’s advice, I should assume it’s still unsteady. I am in repair…I’m not together but I’m getting there…”

PREVIOUS CHAPTER // NEXT CHAPTER

Andrew got the surprise of his life when two Avengers showed up at his front door. He’d never felt so lucky or terrified.

“Can I help you gentlemen?”

“We’re here for [Y/N]’s things,” Bucky all but snarled. Andrew dropped his façade immediately.

“Is she fucking both of you too? You should probably get yourselves checked she’s always been a who—.” Andrew didn’t have a chance to finish his vile sentence before Bucky sucker punched him square in the jaw. Stumbling backwards in shock, Andrew balled up his fists to retaliate but the murderous glint in not just Bucky’s eyes made him reconsider.

“What the hell was that for, you fucking psycho?!” he screamed. Bucky moved to punch him again but Steve stepped in, grabbing the appalling man by the throat and slamming him into the wall.

“Listen here and listen well, asshole,” Steve hissed, “You’re not to ever call [Y/N] or any other woman that word again. In fact, you’re not allowed to even breath in [Y/N]’s general fucking direction. If she gets so much as a papercut in your vicinity I will hunt you down and put you in the ground myself. I won’t even need a metal arm to do it. Is that clear?” Andrew didn’t even have the dignity to keep from wetting himself out of fear. Steve released the atrocious man with disgust.

“Where are [Y/N]’s belongings?” Bucky demanded. Andrew pointed to a pile of three messily packed boxes next to the front door.  Steve and Bucky grabbed them hastily, not wanting to stand in the same room as this cowardly reject of man any longer than necessary. On the way out the door, Bucky turned around and leveled Andrew with his gaze.

“You better pray I don’t ever hear your name again or I’ll find you and show you exactly how HYDRA turned me into the Winter Soldier.” Andrew’s eyes widened in absolute terror as he wet himself even further; Bucky rolled his eyes in revulsion and stalked out of the house. Absolutely pathetic, he thought to himself.

You woke up exceptionally warm. Your face was smushed into a familiar broad chest which made breathing just a tad difficult. Sam had always been a full body snuggler and last night was no exception.

“Oof, Sammy!” you whined into his chest while simultaneously trying to separate your limbs from his.

“Wha-What?” Sam mumbled, still half asleep, “[Y/N], what’s wrong?” Your determined movements pulled him into consciousness.

“I can’t breathe!” you complained.

“Oh shit. Sorry, Tink,” he laughed. Rolling your eyes, you rubbed feeling back into your aching limbs. You’d never get used to just how heavy he was.

This was the first time Sam had woken up next to you in his own room. He always loved how adorable you looked with sleep mussed hair and a cranky disposition. You disappeared into the bathroom. Despite everything that transpired yesterday, last night was the best night’s sleep he could ever remember having. A plume of hope flared in his chest at the idea of being able to wake up next to you for the rest of his life. He shook that thought from his head immediately; you weren’t his. You were never his.

You still couldn’t bring yourself to meet your reflection. Seeing your hands clearly for the first time terrified the hell out of you. You turned your back on the mirror; some things you just weren’t ready for yet. Peeling off your shirt, you forced yourself to look at the finger shaped bruised that angrily decorated your harms. Anger boiled inside of you. How dare he?! How dare he think himself so mighty that you were a plaything for him to toss around? Looking down at your protruding ribs, your anger melted into shame. How dare you allow yourself to become this way just to please someone else? Hot tears spilled from your eyes as you wrenched your shirt back on. How would anyone be able to love you now?

A soft knock came at the door. Sam groaned inwardly; he had hoped he’d get you all to himself just for a little while longer. Apparently life had other plans. Pushing himself to leave the warmth and comfort of his bed, he stalked grumpily to answer the door. It was a a bit of a shock to find Natasha and Wanda standing on the other side.

“Uh…hey... What’s up?” Natasha revealed a small bundle of clothing, she’d been concealing behind her back. Wanda held up hair supplies. Sam couldn’t help but grin at them, one of these days he’d finally be used to the never ending kindness of his teammates.

“Is she here?” Natasha whispered gently. Sam nodded and stepped backwards, allowing the women to enter his room. You heard faint voices and poked your head out of the bathroom in curiosity.

“Hey, Tink?” Sam called. Rolling your eyes, you stepped back into the room.  Gesturing to the unfamiliar women, Sam introduced you.

“Nat, Wanda, this is [Y/N]. Or as I like to call her: TinkerBell.”

“Saaaaaam,” you whined, “you know how much I hate that nickname.”

“I can’t help it; you’re as cute as a Disney fairy.” You rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue; you would never admit it but you actually really loved it when Sam called you that. It was something sweet shared just between the two of you. Both Wanda and Natasha snorted at the two of you. Suddenly you remembered your manners.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! It’s really lovely to meet the both of you! I promise I’m not usually this rude. Life has a way of demanding my full attention 10 minutes after I wake up,” you babbled.

Natasha waved your apologies away, “It’s perfectly okay. You should see Bucky or Barton in the morning. They’re real assholes before coffee.” You giggled.

“You laugh but she’s being completely serious, Tink. I’d face a thousand Chitauri armies before I faced Barton or Barnes without coffee in the morning,” Sam said.

“So,” Wanda interjected, “Nat and I thought you might be in dire need of some fresh clothes and maybe a hairbrush or two?”

Their sudden kindness stunned the hell out of you. Truth be told, you weren’t sure how the other Avengers would take to your presence on the Compound, especially after they found out what you’d been through. You’d never tell Sam, but you were absolutely terrified that Earth’s Mightiest Heroes would turn you away to deal with your own problems. Your self-worth had dwindled so much that you wouldn’t have even blamed them if they did. You were overwhelmed with their unprecedented compassion that you couldn’t help but burst into tears. That wasn’t the reaction anyone was expecting.

“Hey, hey sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Wanda rushed to you, doing her best to soothe you with her soft words. Natasha and Sam were close behind. Wanda wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with her touch so used her powers to send feelings of calm to you. The pain of your broken psyche was so severe that her gentle attempt to soothe you had no effect. Her eyes widened in shock; there’s only been one other person whose pain was so horrific that Wanda’s first attempts to soothe them failed. Bucky.

The exquisitely mammoth pain you carried around was enough to nearly bring Wanda to her knees. She was impressed you even had the strength to still stand upright. Wanda was no stranger to pain herself; she understood the mask you wore. She didn’t need her powers to see through you were now and who you had the capacity to be. The two of you had just met but Wanda already loved you. You were hers now; no one else would hurt you so long as she loved you.

“Nat,” Wanda pushed into the older woman’s mind while Sam pulled you into a bear hug. Natasha’s eyes narrowed at the mental intrusion.

“Yes?” she pushed back.

“She’s just like Bucky. I tried to calm her down and it didn’t work,” Wanda admitted ashamedly. Natasha’s eyes narrowed even further. It took every ounce of self-control she could muster not to leave the Compound, hunt down that abomination of a man and rip him to shreds. It was one thing to be abused and trained into a weapon for use; it took a special kind of civilian monster to do this just because they could.

“She’s under our protection. No matter what the cost.” Natasha pushed into Wanda’s mind. She didn’t have to be a telepath to know Wanda felt the same. No one else would hurt you as long as they had a say about it. Never again.

Sam and the women were more than understanding through your outburst. It was such a foreign feeling, having someone look at you with care instead of malice in their eyes. You kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. You kept waiting for the tables to turn.

Natasha and Wanda were right about how good a fresh change of clothes would feel on your battered body. They even managed to scare up cleansing conditioner and helped you return some life to your once bouncy curls. Two pairs of gentle fingers gently massaged your scalp, carefully working out the knots and kinks of your thick hair. The three of you bonded easily over everything; you found yourself becoming enamored with them. Two strong and fierce women that life snatched nearly everything from stood before you just as loving and empathetic as you could have ever dreamed. It gave you hope. You weren’t together yet, you probably wouldn’t be for a long time but with the love and care of your newfound family, you’d get there.

Sam stood in the doorway of the kitchen watched contentedly as Natasha and Wanda coaxed you into eating. Seeing two of the women he had become so fond of caring for the one he loved most in the world was a sight to behold. He wasn’t sure what he did to deserve this kind of love in his life but he damn sure wouldn’t question it. He was so enraptured with the sight he almost didn’t notice when Bucky and Steve walked up behind him.

“Hey Sam,” they greeted him. He grinned in response. Steve beckoned them to the living room. Sam and Bucky followed close behind and made themselves comfortable in nearby chairs.

“What’s up, Steve?” asked Sam.

“We’ve retrieved all of her belongings,” Steve said firmly. Sam looked back and forth between Steve and Bucky. He wasn’t sure how to properly react to the fact that his teammates had stepped up in such a monumental way. His shoulders sagged as he exhaled in relief.

“You—you don’t know what this means to me guys. Thank you, seriously.”

“She won’t ever have to worry about him bothering her or anyone else again,” Bucky growled.

“Wait—you didn’t…?”

“No,” Steve reassured Sam, “but you don’t know just how close I came. How anyone could treat someone they claimed to love with such abhorrence is beyond me.”

“He doesn’t deserve to live,” Bucky stated. His metal fist clenched and unclenched as he fought to keep his rage under control.

“We don’t get to make that choice, Buck.”

“But he—!”

“No!” Steve half shouted. Your head snapped up at the sound of Steve’s raised voice. Cowering into yourself, you pushed away the soup Nat and Wanda had spent the last 30 minutes trying to convince you to eat. Suddenly the prospect of food was no longer appealing. Wanda pulled you into a gentle hug and pressed a soft kiss into your hair. Patting your shoulder gently, Natasha stood up from the table and stalked into the living room where the men were currently residing.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about in here but that girl in there is terrified for her life and she doesn’t need you three assholes going and making things worse for her. You make one more wrong move and I will end you myself, is that clear?” she hissed venomously.

“I’m sorry for shouting, you’re right. She doesn’t deserve this, she deserves so much more.”

“It’s not me you need to apologize to, Rogers.” Nodding, Steve took steadying breath. He couldn’t believe he allowed himself to lose his temper like that with you in the next room. Natasha was right; he owed you an apology. Standing up and straightening his slacks, he made his way to the kitchen humbly.

“[Y/N]?” he called. Wanda’s grip around you tightened at Steve’s cautious approach. You lifted your head from her shoulder to meet his sorrowful gaze.

“Hello, Captain,” you murmured. He winced at your distinctly formal greeting. He owed you so much more than a simple apology.

“Call me Steve, please,” he implored you. You gave him a small smile at his request.

“I need to apologize for my actions, [Y/N]. I should not have lost my temper like that; I should have been more considerate of your feelings. I am sincerely sorry and if you would allow me to, I would be more than happy to make it up to you.”

Steve’s genuine apology was absolutely foreign to you. You’d been so conditioned by Andrew that you were half expecting Steve to force you apologize for making him yell. Logically you knew it wasn’t your fault and there was no reason for you to apologize but there’s nothing logical about an abused psyche.

“…make it up to me? Why would you want to make it up to me?” you asked. Both Steve and Wanda’s eyes widened in sheer confusion. Just when they thought their hearts couldn’t break for you anymore, you go and prove them wrong.

“That’s what you do when you apologize to someone,” Wanda said into your hair, “you apologize with your actions as well as your words.”

“Oh.” It only took one word for Steve and the rest of the Avengers to realize they had their work cut out for them when it came to helping you undo all the damage Andrew had done to you. Just one word.

“Will you allow me to make it up to you, [Y/N]?” Steve asked softly. You had to give him credit; he was trying. That was more than Andrew had ever done. He stood there in front of you radiating such pure honesty and goodness that you couldn’t help but smile. Pulling yourself from Wanda’s loving arms, you stood up and offered your hand to Steve.

“Tell you what, Steve. You introduce me to Thor and Doctor Banner and convince Mr. Stark to show me his lab and I’ll consider us even,” you said with a grin. Steve’s answering grin was brighter than sunshine.

You weren’t together yet but you were getting there.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER // NEXT CHAPTER 

Tags

@emilyevanston @lancefuckrr @bellamyblakesgun @sweet-honey15 @amour-quinn @wildestdreamsrps @marvel-lucy 

[chocolatequeennk]

Time is Still A-Flying, recap

This is part two of my recap posts as we get ready for Forever and Never Apart on Tuesday. You can read the To Make Much of Time recap here.

Time is Still A-Flying

Ten x Rose, series 3 with Rose. Rated Teen.

AO3 | FF.net | Teaspoon | Tumblr

Summary: With a bond and a promise of forever, the Doctor and Rose have managed to escape the trap set for them in Torchwood. But Time is not yet done with them. The Master is still in London and Election Day draws ever closer. He’s tried to separate them once; will they survive a second attempt? Part 3 of Being to Timelessness; sequel to To Make Much of Time (AO3 | FF.net | Teaspoon)

From chapter 4:

“I’ve been wondering something, Doctor,” Rose said. “How come the huon particles in me didn’t… buzz or whatever like Donna’s did?”

The Doctor poured more wine for both them, then settled back against the hearth again. “Well, yours are actually part of your biology,” he explained. “The part of the TARDIS she left behind in you.”

“Right…”

“Think about it this way. You’ve got iron running through your entire body, in your blood. But when someone holds a magnet up to you, do you notice?”

“I do now.”

The Doctor laughed and tickled Rose. “Before you changed, cheeky minx.”

“So, it’s like the difference between the iron in my blood and wearing jewellery with iron in it? Donna was just… wearing huon particles like an accessory.”

“Exactly!”

Rose having huon particles in her body like this is something that will come up again later. Stay tuned...

From chapter 6:

“Rose, when I met you, I was broken and alone. From the moment I took your hand in that basement—oh, such a long time ago—you helped fill up the loneliness and teach me how to live again.

“Falling in love with you was as inevitable as it was unexpected. I was…” His voice faltered, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “I was terrified by how much I needed you in my life. One fragile human, holding the hearts of the last Time Lord. What would happen when I lost you?

“I tried to run, and I tried to send you away. Today, I promise I won’t do either ever again. As our hands are now bound together by cloth, so also will our lives by joined by Time. Your future is my future, from now until forever.”

Rose blinked back a few more tears, then swallowed and smiled up at him. Until she’d listened to him, she’d still been unsure of what to say, but now the words came easily.

“Doctor, when I met you, I was lost. My life was nothing more than work, chips, and evenings at the pub. I knew I wanted more, but everyone around me said it was impossible. Then you took my hand and pulled me into your mad life, and I’ve never looked back—not even when you tried to send me away.”

She raised an eyebrow, and the Doctor smiled sheepishly.

“From our very first date, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life travelling with you. Then I fell in love with you, and I wanted to spend forever with you… travelling was an added bonus.

“I promised you forever before we knew how close to the truth that was.” She paused for a moment, then said, “Doctor, I’m never gonna willingly leave you—you’re stuck with me.”

“Stuck with you, Rose Tyler?” the Doctor said, his voice rough. “That’s not so bad.”

[...]

He placed his hands on her temples, and Rose mirrored him. This is the last time we’ll need to be touching to go into each other’s minds, he told her. Last chance to change your mind—there’s no going back after this.

Don’t want to go back. I just want to go forward, with you, forever.

The Doctor’s hands trembled on her temples. I love you, he told her fervently, then took a deep breath to get control over his emotions. Completing a marriage bond requires a third telepathic presence. Normally this would be the officiant, but the TARDIS will facilitate for us.

The presence of the TARDIS strengthened until Rose felt like the time ship was holding both her mind and the Doctor’s safely in her hands.

That’s it exactly, Rose.

Rose felt the Doctor weaving his mind around hers, and she followed his example, as best as she could. He and the TARDIS helped when she wasn’t sure what to do, guiding her until she knew, intuitively, that there was only one step remaining.

The Doctor hovered over the telepathic centre of her mind, and with the TARDIS’ help, Rose found the matching place in his. She looked to him, waiting for a cue as to what to do next, and to her surprise, a third set of vows followed.

I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

The words came easily to Rose. I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

She could feel his deep joy and a pleasure that went far beyond happiness, and then he said, Now, Rose.

With the TARDIS’ help, she pressed into the telepathic centre of his mind, feeling him do the same thing in hers. The awareness of him that their bond had given her flared and deepened. She knew more than how he was feeling or what he was thinking; she knew him.

Yes. Oh, Rose. You are my forever.

This is one of the biggest differences between TISAF and most S3 rewrites. Typically, the Doctor and Rose spend series three working through the remaining issues keeping them apart, and the story ends with them fully committed to each other in a romantic relationship. But since I wrote that into an S2 rewrite (and also, my headcanon is that most of that happened in S2 even in canon), in my S3 rewrite, they’re together right from the beginning. It makes a big difference several times in how things play out, not the least of which is the way it completely eliminates Martha’s crush on the Doctor. Having an actual wedding wasn’t necessary for those changes, but I really wanted to go whole hog and have them married throughout this whole story.

From chapter 9:

The Master paused the streaming radio on his laptop.

[...]

So, the Doctor and Rose had met Martha Jones. It was time to put his next piece into play.

He picked up his phone and dialled a familiar number. “Lady Thaw?” he said when the woman picked up. “Harold Saxon here. I wondered if Miss Jones had given you a final guest list for tomorrow’s gala event.”

When Lady Thaw told him that no, she didn’t expect the list until the morning, his politician’s smile spread across his face. “Then I wonder if it would be possible to have you add two more names to the list when you see it—as a personal favour to me. An old school friend of mine will be in town tomorrow with his wife, and I know they’d be fascinated with Professor Lazarus’ work.”

Lady Thaw was always willing to oblige Mr. Saxon in anything he wished, of course. “Excellent. Their names are the Doctor and Rose Tyler. No, not Doctor Tyler. His wife is Rose Tyler, but he is just the Doctor.” The Master’s smile turned sharklike. “It’s an old nickname that’s stuck, I’m afraid. You should hear what he calls me.”

The whole notion of the Master in the background of S3, pulling all the strings, was really fun to play with. Having him put the Doctor and Rose’s names on the invitation list for Lazarus’ gala just gave the story a little twist.

From chapter 14:

[The Doctor] ground his teeth, and pain exploded behind his right eye, through the temple area, and down into the jaw. “Because I deserve to be punished! I destroyed two races, Rose, on top of the dozens of civilisations the War had already damaged irreparably. Nothing can undo that.”

Rose was quiet for a several minutes. The Doctor could tell she was deep in thought, but his own mind was too frazzled for him to be able to pick up on her train of thought

When she finally spoke, she said the last thing he’d expected her to say. “You’re right.”

“What?” Rose wasn’t supposed to agree with his self-condemnation. She was the one who always tried to get him to see the good in himself.

“You’re right,” she repeated. “Nothing can undo it. Your planet is gone, and your people with it.”

The Doctor flinched away from her, curling himself into the corner of the couch. Hearing the harsh truth from her lips prodded at the ache lodged in his chest that he’d been trying to ignore since he’d ended the War. “Rose, please…” he whispered.

But she was relentless. “I can’t imagine what it must have felt like, to look at the destruction both sides were causing and know it was a choice between the end of the War, or the end of the universe.”

The memory of that moment was still crystal clear in the Doctor’s mind, however. He’d felt the timelines converging for months—years even—until there had been only two possible endings to the War.

He’d tried so hard to find another way. His eighth incarnation had fought on the front lines, becoming a warrior instead of the Doctor he’d claimed to be. But when the Daleks broke through the sky trenches and Arcadia fell, he’d known there was no other way. Breaking into the archives was easy. Using the Moment… was not.

His eyes grew hot, and the Doctor felt a tear streak down his face. He wiped it away impatiently, but another followed, and another, until sobs shook his body.

Rose reached for him then, and despite his hurt confusion, he let her guide him until they were both lying down on the couch. She offered the comfort then that she’d withheld earlier, and he sank into the solace their bond provided, leaning on her strength.

His tears slowed gradually, and as they did, he realised Rose was whispering words of comfort and apology as she rubbed his back. He pulled back enough to look at her face, noticing the damp spot his tears had left on her shirt as he did so.

Rose was biting her lip and there were tears in her own eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, answering his unspoken question. “But I just thought… had you ever let yourself grieve, Doctor?”

A sharp retort sprung to his lips—of course he’d grieved. But his scratchy eyes and sore throat gave him pause. Had he ever allowed himself the release of tears?

She nodded. “That’s what I thought. An’ it’s not good to just hold all that in for so long. It was time to let it go, Doctor.”

This scene is so important. One of the reasons I ship the Doctor and Rose so hard is because I truly believe they are better together than they are apart. A big part of that for the Doctor is the way Rose helps him deal with his grief and guilt over the end of the Time War. She fell in love with him when he was still scarred and grieving, but that doesn’t mean she wants him to stay that way. 

From chapter 18:

Rose looked over his shoulder at the empty platform where Dalek Caan had been controlling the hybrids. “He’s falling through Time, Doctor. And he won’t escape unscathed.”

“Emergency temporal shift,” the Doctor told her. “It’s a rubbish way to travel, really—who knows where he’ll end up, or what it’ll do to him?”

Rose nodded absently. “It won’t be just his body this time though, Doctor,” she said. “It’s gonna tear his mind apart.”

The Doctor repressed a shiver. He could feel the timelines flowing around them, and he knew Dalek Caan had reminded Rose of something she’d seen when she was Bad Wolf. With an effort, he held back his questions—he didn’t really want to know how the last Dalek would play into their lives.

This gets back to the notion, established in that scene at the very end of TMMOT, that Rose’s time sense is occasionally more acute than the Doctor’s. There are key moments in their life together that she will feel more strongly when they happen. It’s a plot device I’ve tried not to overuse, but it’s something that makes a lot of sense to me since she literally saw all of time when she was Bad Wolf. And this is the first time it’s really used in the story.

From chapter 21:

The Doctor didn’t say a word as he sent the TARDIS into the Vortex. Rose tamped down her own building anger as best as she could; at least one of them should remain calm.

[...]

“And what’s your excuse for that stunt in the cathedral?” he asked, his voice biting.

“You said you needed to get Lazarus into the bell tower.”

“But I didn’t say I wanted you to act as bait!”

Rose took a deep breath and blew it out her nose. “Did you have another plan to get him up there?” she asked calmly.

The Doctor paced in front of their bed in his black trousers and unbuttoned dress shirt. “No,” he admitted finally, running his hand through his hair. 

[...]

“You promised you wouldn’t send me away again. Didn’t you mean it?”

His anger faded, and he ran his hands wearily over his face. “Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Rose walked towards him slowly until they were standing face to face, about three feet apart. “What’s this really about, Doctor?”

His hands dropped to his sides, and he sagged in defeat. “I just want to keep you safe.”

“We stick together as much as possible to keep each other safe, don’t we?” Rose watched his face, and when she thought he was softening, she reached for his hand. “And we don’t just stand aside watching when people are in trouble; we help.”

“I know,” he groaned, “but if you were hurt…”

“Says the man I’ve found unconscious three times this week,” Rose retorted. “Are you going to stop running into dangerous situations?”

He sighed. “No.”

“Then you can’t expect me to.”

“Expect, no,” he agreed. “Wish for…”

Rose chuckled wryly. “I know the feeling.”

The Doctor nodded, and she thought she’d finally made her point. He took her hand, and she went willingly into his arms, breathing in the comforting honey scent of his skin.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear.

Rose pressed a kiss to his collarbone. “You’re forgiven.” She rested her cheek against his chest, considering her next words. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said.

“I always feel safest when I’m with you.” His surprise rippled across their bond, and Rose tightened her arms around his waist. “Always,” she repeated firmly.

“But… why? How?” he asked. “I don’t try to find trouble, but somehow it seems like almost every trip ends in danger. How could you possibly feel safe with me?”

Rose took a half step back so she could look him in the eye. “Because you’re brilliant. When we’re in those situations, I know that if we’re going to get out of it, it’ll probably be because you figured out the magic secret that’ll solve everything.”

“Only if you haven’t figured it out first,” the Doctor interjected. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Rose—you’re brilliant too.”

“About time you noticed,” Rose said cheekily. “I’ve been saving your life since day one, and don’t you forget it.”

A small smile finally crept across his face. “How could I? A pink and yellow girl swings into my life on a chain, taking out the bad guys and sweeping me off my feet in one move. That’s not something I’ll ever forget.”

Rose undid the Doctor’s cufflinks and slid the shirt off his shoulders. “I also feel safe when I’m with you because… because you love me,” she said quietly. “I know you’ll always protect me if you can.” She tossed the shirt onto the bed, then pulled his vest over his head and threw that into the laundry. “Don’t you feel safe with me for the same reason?”

“Of course I do,” he said, his sincerity and conviction easing the little doubt she’d had.

Rose hung the Doctor’s shirt up in the wardrobe, then walked back to him and turned her back to him. He silently unzipped her dress, and that was soon hanging up as well.

“Then are you going to yell at me the next time I follow you into something dangerous?” Rose asked.

“No,” he promised.

It was part of his wedding vows, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. He’ll always hate watching Rose run into danger, and this will probably cause tension in their relationship occasionally for their entire lives. But this time, Rose really needed to lay it all out for him--why it wasn’t right for him to act like that, how hypocritical it is, and how wrong he is overall. 

From chapter 28:

John led Rose around the floor, loving the effortless way she moved. She smiled up at him, the beautiful, teasing smile that meant she had something up her sleeve.

“Do you remember how you asked me to dance, the very first time?” she asked in answer to his raised eyebrow.

He groaned, and a flush crept up the back of his neck. “That was not one of my better moments.”

“I don’t know,” she drawled. “When the gorgeous man who’s just saved your entire neighbourhood walks up to you, holds out his hand, asks you to dance, and then adds, ‘I’ve got the moves, but I wouldn’t want to boast,’ it makes an impression.”

Even two years later, John couldn’t fathom what had made him say something so audacious. “I suppose you did agree to dance with me, even after that ridiculous comment.”

Rose’s fingers played with the hair curling at the nape of his neck. “Well, to be honest, I’d been watching you for a while, hoping you might say something.”

John nearly stopped in the middle of the dance floor. “You what?” he said, his voice embarrassingly close to a squeak.

The natural pink in her cheeks deepened a little. “Yeah… I don’t know if you remember, but I was there that day—the day of the accident at the factory. I watched you and Captain Jack get everyone out before the fumes were too dangerous, and then take the chemicals into that abandoned hospital. We could hear the explosion where we waited, down by the river, and until the two of you showed up, we didn’t know if you were safe. You were… incredible, John.”

John gaped down at his Rose. “Well, as long as we’re sharing secrets,” he said, “I saw you that day too. Helping that boy who was looking for his mummy? You were so kind and gentle with him. So I found out your name and then wrangled an introduction that evening so I could dance with you.”

Rose ducked closer to him and hid her blushing face against his chest. John’s arms tightened around her, heedless of the raised eyebrows their embrace was garnering. He bent his head so his lips were nearly touching her ear and whispered, “I fell in love with you the moment you took my hand.”

The hand he held flexed, and he felt her sigh. “So did I.”

Perhaps this isn’t crucial to the overall plot, but the Human Nature arc is my favourite part of this whole story and I had to share something from it. I love this snippet from the dance, before the Family interrupts their romantic happiness. It was so much fun coming up with an AU version of their “how we met” story that the TARDIS could have given them. 

From chapter 30:

Timothy looked at the Doctor and Rose, and something in his gaze made the hairs stand up on the back of the Doctor’s neck. “The Doctor and Rose Tyler,” he said in a distant voice. “Together, you burn at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe. Even when the Wolf is silenced, your story will not be over.” His gaze sharpened. “You are… forever.”

The couple shared a startled glance. Neither of them had ever told anyone else about that word. “Timothy, you are brilliant,” the Doctor said sincerely. Rose gave him a hug, then joined Martha inside. “You’ll like this bit,” the Doctor told Tim, wishing he could see the look on the lad’s face when the ship dematerialised.

Rose watched the Doctor as he took the TARDIS into the vortex. The faint lines around his eyes and mouth and the tension in his body matched the anxiety he was projecting over the bond, and once he threw the dematerialisation lever, she took his hand and encouraged him to sit with her in the jump seat.

“What do you think Tim meant, about me being silenced?” she asked.

He sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. “I honestly don’t have a clue, Rose,” he told her. “Last night, before I faced the Family, he asked if I could hear you, howling for your mate. I told him the truth—I can always hear you.”

Rose pulled her sonic out of her pocket and after adjusting the settings, pointed it at the Doctor to dry him off. “Do you think something’s going to happen, and you won’t be able to?”

“Not possible,” the Doctor said flatly. “If even changing species couldn’t get rid of our bond, nothing can.”

Oh, Doctor. You should know better than to declare something so definitively.

From chapter 32:

[The Doctor] followed her into their room and turned down the covers while she fumbled through undressing as though she’d been up for two full, busy days. “How long have you felt like this, Rose?” he asked when she slowly pulled a nightgown over her head.

“Hmmm? Felt like what?” she asked as she crawled under the covers.

Real concern knit his brow then, but Rose was asleep before he could clarify the question. He fingered his sonic screwdriver and eventually did the most basic scan possible. It cleared the worst of his fears, and reassured that she wasn’t suffering from some fatal disease, he was able to strip out of his own clothes and stretch out beside her.

Normally, even in her sleep Rose would sense him joining her in bed and curl up against him, but tonight, she didn’t move. Wanting her to rest, the Doctor contented himself with taking her hand.

He sighed as he stared at up the boring ceiling. Stuck on Earth yet again, and judging by the information he had, it looked like they’d be here for a few months. Even though the transcript and photos didn’t confirm that the TARDIS found them, the Doctor had no doubt that the plan worked. Or would work. He rubbed at his forehead; tenses in time travel could be a real headache.

And all that would only be a minor inconvenience if it wasn’t becoming apparent that Rose was ill. The Doctor’s big Time Lord brain could occasionally be a curse, rather than a blessing, and tonight was one of those times, as he lay awake and pondered all the alien diseases she might have.

[...]

Rose groaned and rolled over when the sunlight hit her face, pulling the duvet over her head. She’d been asleep for… eight hours, she figured, but she felt like she hadn’t slept a wink.

“Rose?” the Doctor said. “How are you feeling, love?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a lorry,” Rose grumbled. “Lemme sleep.”

To her displeasure, he pulled the duvet out of her fingers and down over her face. “I wish I could, Rose, but I’m getting worried about how tired you are. I’d like to do some scans with the sonic, if that’s all right with you.”

[...]

The Doctor glanced at the sonic screwdriver, and his eyes widened. “Oh. Well. Oh. I guess that does make some sense.”

“What? What makes sense?” She peered over the Doctor’s shoulder, but couldn’t make heads nor tails of the results. “It’s decade lag, isn’t it?”

“In a manner of speaking,” the Doctor said, typically vague. “It’s the TARDIS.”

“What do you mean, it’s the TARDIS? She isn’t here.”

“And that’s the problem,” the Doctor agreed. “You and her… I have a feeling you’re more connected than she’s ever let on.”

Rose rubbed at her forehead. “Please, Doctor, just explain it to me. I’m too tired to follow your cryptic rambling today.” She felt badly when his shoulders slumped, but he was making her nervous and she just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Well. Remember when we met Donna? Or rather, why we met Donna?”

Almost a year had passed, but Rose quickly figured out what he meant. “You mean, the… hu— huon particles?”

“That’s right. Yours came from the heart of the TARDIS, and as long as you’re somewhat close to her, she helps hold them in stasis. When you aren’t together…”

Rose’s mouth went dry. “Doctor! You told Donna huon particles were deadly!”

“Oh no, love.”

The Doctor sent a wave of reassurance over the bond. After Rose relaxed, she realised the Doctor would have been much more upset if her life were at stake.

“Okay, so what is it then?”

“Huon particles take a tremendous amount of energy to maintain. When we’re at home, or at least close to her, the TARDIS lends you some of her energy. Without her…”

“I’m having to do all the work myself,” Rose finished. She sank back into her pillows. “So does that mean I’ll be tied to the TARDIS for the rest of my life? Not that I ever plan to leave, but what would happen if we were separated somehow?”

The Doctor nodded soberly. “I think we’re about to find out exactly what would happen.”

There are lots of reasons I decided to do this. The first is that it’s always a good idea to add a cost when you give a character extra-human power or knowledge. It keeps you from just using the power willy-nilly.

More specific to the story, I wanted a Rose-centric story for 1969. And I wanted a Rose-centric story where her personality would lead her to make a mistake. You know Rose Tyler. Do you think she’s going to listen to medical advice and take it easy for three whole months? No. She pushes herself past her endurance and ends up very sick with the flu... in 1969, before anti-viral meds. And with no access to the TARDIS.

From chapter 41:

[The Doctor] took a deep breath through his nose and tried to get himself under control. “Master, just calm down. Just look at what you’re doing. Just stop. If you could see yourself—”

“Oh, do excuse me,” the Master said to the television cameramen who were still filming. “Little bit of personal business. Back in a minute.” He looked at the guards holding the Doctor down. “Let him go.”

They shoved the Doctor down onto the floor. He pushed himself up and looked at the Master. “It’s that sound. The sound in your head. What if I could help?”

“Oh, how to shut him up?” The Master rolled his eyes and mimed talking with his hand. “I know!” He grinned widely and gestured to someone in the back of the room.

The Doctor heard a brief scuffle, and that combined with the sudden anger from Rose told him exactly what had happened. He tried to reach for her when she was pushed to the front of the room, but the guards grabbed his hands and held them behind his back.

“Did you really think I would let Rose Tyler go free?” The Master shook his head and tsked. “It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other, if you could misjudge me so badly. I’ve got your bond mate, Doctor. Your little human-Time Lord hybrid.” He twirled his laser screwdriver between his fingers. “If I remember correctly, you aren’t positive she’ll be able to regenerate. And—again, if memory serves—you aren’t too keen to find out.” His smile disappeared and he pointed the screwdriver at Rose. “Have you changed your mind?”

The Doctor seethed with rage, but he couldn’t do anything but shake his head. He wouldn’t risk Rose’s life.

The Master laughed. “Look at what Earth’s defender has been reduced to. Cowering on the floor, paralysed out of fear for his bond mate’s life.”

The look Rose gave the Doctor now was the same trusting, confident look he’d seen on her face when they’d stood in 10 Downing Street, faced with the choice to save the world at the possible cost of her life. It was a look which said she trusted him to do the right thing, to make the best choice.

He drew in a deep breath. When he’d developed his backup plan, he’d really hoped Rose would leave with Martha. Sentencing himself to a year in the gracious hospitality of the Master was one thing—leaving Rose in his hands for 366 days was entirely another.

So, Rose was on the Valiant during the Year That Never Was. Hmmm... 

From chapter 43:

“Can we skip the ‘previously on the Master and Rose’ bit and move on to today’s episode?” Rose asked impatiently.

Amusement lit the Master’s eyes. “As I was saying, I’ve been unable to break your bond. Your telepathic bond.”

He pulled a thin silver choker out of the box and attached it around Rose’s neck.

“Jewellery, Harry?” Rose asked. “I think my husband might get upset if I accept gifts like this from another man.”

“Your bond mate,” the Master said, irritation flashing in his eyes when she refused yet again to use the term in front of him, “won’t know any better. Not really.”

Rose straightened up and looked at the monitor. “What are you going to do to him?” she asked.

Concern flared over the bond. Rose tried to calm the Doctor with a promise that nothing was happening that was any worse than what she’d experienced so far, but that wasn’t a very reassuring thought.

“I don’t plan to do anything… to him.”

Rose wanted to hide her fear from the Doctor, but she knew he felt it. His own worry screamed at her over the bond, and she saw his hands clench into fists.

“As I was saying, I’ve discovered your bond is impossible to break. I can’t force him out of your mind, nor you out of his. But the bond makes you both stronger, and I really can’t have that.”

Despite the insolent tone she used to irritate the Master, Rose was becoming more scared by the minute. She looked at the television and tried to memorise every inch of the Doctor’s features.

I love you, she told him, hoping with every fibre of her being that this wouldn’t be her last chance to say it.

“What do you plan to do about it?” Rose asked.

The Master’s eyes glittered. “Oh, I was so hoping you would ask. Do you see this?” he asked, holding up a small remote. “This is the remote to the device I just placed on your neck—oh, and by the way, there’s an explosive wired into the latch, so don’t even think about taking it off, unless you want to lose your head.” He tilted his head. “I really don’t know if it’s possible to regenerate after being blown to bits.”

I love you, too, Rose.

Some of the tightness around her chest eased with the Doctor’s words, and she rolled her eyes at the Master. “And what does the blessed device do?” she asked. “You’re worse than all the villains on telly,” she told him matter-of-factly. “Nattering on about your plans, blah blah blah.”

“It’s a personal telepathic dampening field. And if I press this button—”

The Master pressed the red button, and Rose’s eyes slammed shut as pain seared through her mind. The bond was gone. Screams filled the room, but she ignored them as she frantically looked for the Doctor. She found the space where he should be in her mind, but instead of pulsing with the Doctor’s presence, it was dark—like a burned out lightbulb.

Her eyes flew to the CCTV to make sure the Doctor was still alive, and that was when she realised the diabolical genius of the Master’s plan. The Doctor was shouting and pounding on the walls, trying to get away from his prison. The sound was muted, but she could see him saying her name over and over.

He thought the Master had killed her.

I really love this whole story arc. The Master would do something truly heinous. Breaking the bond--making both of them feel the pain of a broken bond, and making the Doctor think she was dead--was the worst thing I could think of. The Doctor and Rose both come out of this year with PTSD related to this.

From chapter 46:

Francine pressed her lips together, but she couldn’t restrain a strangled sob. Rose reached for her slowly, pushing her hands down and knocking the gun to the floor.

Martha shoved past the Doctor to reach her mum, and Rose let her take over comforting Francine.

The Doctor released a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, and his knees went weak for a moment. He suspected he would be even more protective of Rose than usual for a while, until he got past the constant fear of losing her again. Rose smiled up at him, and he nodded slightly.

“You still haven’t answered the question,” the Master pointed out, interrupting their silent conversation. “What happens to me?”

The Doctor left the bridge. “I’m sure UNIT has a nice cell someplace where they can keep you, until your regenerations run out.” He crossed his arms and stared at the Master. “Their headquarters are located in the Tower of London, after all.”

“You’re just going to… lock me up?” the Master stammered, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

“What did you expect, Master?” the Doctor snapped. “An open hand and a welcome onto my ship, when you killed my wife?” He took a deep breath. “I won’t let you die when you’re the only other Gallifreyan in existence, but that doesn’t mean I have to let you be part of our life.”

The Master smirked. “That’s the only thing keeping you from doing it, isn’t it, Doctor?” He tipped his head back insolently. “You would kill me yourself for what I did to your precious Rose, if it wasn’t for the fact of my genetic code.”

“Oi, all you did was give me a fancy bit of jewellery,” Rose retorted. “Quit trying to rile the Doctor up.”

The Master’s gaze flickered over to Rose, and the Doctor bit back a laugh at the consternation in his eyes. He still didn’t speak, though, and the Master’s taunt lingered in the air between them, despite Rose’s attempt to dispel the tension.

Would he kill the Master, if it wouldn’t leave him once again the last of the Time Lords from Gallifrey? All the bitterness he’d kept locked down for the last year swirled through him, and there was a large part of him that wanted to kill the Master anyway.

Rose took his hand, and he jumped a little—it had been a long time since she’d been able to sneak up on him like that. But her hand in his gave him strength, just like it always did. He shook his head. “That’s not the way I do things.”

The gunshot took them all by surprise. The Doctor looked towards the sound and saw Lucy Saxon, pale, frightened, and angry, holding the gun Francine had discarded. His head swivelled in the opposite direction, just in time to watch the Master slump onto the deck.

“Put it down,” Jack ordered Lucy.

The Doctor walked over to the Master and knelt at his side. The Master’s face contorted in pain, his mouth working as he gasped for breath. “Always the women.”

“I didn’t see her,” the Doctor said truthfully.

“Are you happy now, Doctor?” The Master grunted. “You can watch me die, and you didn’t have to pull the trigger yourself.”

The Doctor frowned down at him, a little disturbed by how accurate that was. “You’re not dying,” he said curtly. “Don’t be stupid. It’s only a bullet. Just regenerate.”

Victory shone in the Master’s eyes. “No.”

Rose knelt down beside him. “Don’t you remember what I told you, Master?” The Master looked at her, but his eyes refused to focus. “It doesn’t need to be like this. You could come with us, and maybe eventually the Doctor could find a way to get the drums to stop.”

The Doctor bit back a protest. He did not want the Master anywhere near his TARDIS or his Rose.

But the Master didn’t seem inclined to take her up on the offer, anyway. “I didn’t want to spend the rest of my lives tied to you before; what makes you think I’ve changed my mind?”

“It’s only the two of you left, though,” Rose argued. “He’s got me, but the two of you have known each other for so long.”

The Master’s lips twisted into a pained, vindictive smile. “How about that? I win.” He grunted, and swallowed hard. “Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?” He drew one last rasping breath, then his eyes closed.

The Doctor stared down at the limp body in his arms. There was a time when the Master had been one of his closest friends, when his death would have sent him into shattering grief. Even a year ago, he would have been devastated to find another Time Lord, only to lose him again. But with Rose beside him and yet not in his head, the only thing the Doctor could think was that the person responsible for all the pain and anguish of the last five months was dead.

This is part one of the change in the Master’s arc. The idea that the Doctor would be broken up over losing him when he and Rose were still suffering the effects of what he’d done--because their bond isn’t back yet--just felt really... unlikely to me. I know they were great friends before, but if your best friend from high school kidnapped your spouse and made you think they were dead for three months, I think that would probably destroy what was left of your affection for them.

From chapter 47:

[Rose] tugged the Doctor down onto the couch beside her and handed him the sonic. “Take it off, Doctor,” she begged. “Please… I need…”

“Yes,” he whispered. “So do I.” He adjusted the setting and pointed the device at Rose. “Let’s see what kind of lock we’re dealing with first,” he said, scanning the collar. His face brightened when he saw the results. “Oh, that’s simple,” he said, his nimble fingers turning the controls.

The Doctor held the screwdriver up, then looked seriously at Rose. “Are you ready, love? This will probably be a little overwhelming—like getting your sight back after being blind for five months.”

Rose nodded her head quickly and took the Doctor’s free hand. “Don’t care. I’ll deal with it if it is.”

He nodded, then thumbed the control on the sonic. The lock popped open, and the Doctor dropped his tool to pull the collar off of her.

Rose’s head swam under the onslaught of thoughts and emotions sweeping over her. The TARDIS was humming joyfully, happy to have her Wolf and her Thief back where they belonged.

And the Doctor…

Their bond snapped back to life the moment the collar was removed, and she could feel every bit of love, and relief, and elation he felt at being reunited with her. His pain and anger over their forced separation were almost as potent, but Rose carefully directed his focus to the positive.

A strangled sob from the Doctor was the only warning she had before he hauled her into his arms and then stretched out on the couch with her lying beside him. A moment later, she felt a hesitant knocking in her mind, and Rose had to fight her own anger when she realised he was asking permission to enter. It was a purely symbolic gesture, but she hated the idea that he would doubt she wanted him.

Concentrating on the bond, she deepened their connection, letting her mind rest against his as closely as he held her physically. After five months without him, it felt slightly unnatural, like slipping into shoes that hadn’t been worn in a long time. But the relief from the emptiness they’d both felt so keenly more than made up for any temporary discomfort. Rose held him close, both physically and telepathically, and projected as much love and welcome as she could over the bond. The worst of the ache faded gradually, and they both sighed in relief at the realisation that they were truly together again.

When the swirl of emotions settled somewhat, Rose’s head was resting on the Doctor’s shoulder and his fingers were tangled in her hair. She tilted her head back and pressed a kiss to his Adam’s apple, followed by one to his jawline.

The Doctor hummed his approval, then shifted and tilted his head so her next kiss could reach his lips. Rose smiled at the silent request and ran a hand through his hair as she kissed him gently.

Together again at last.

From chapter 47:

She rarely paid much attention to her connection to the ship, usually taking it for granted, but today, she closed her eyes and focused on the gold thread that linked them. The image of a wolf howling came to mind, and Rose hummed her agreement.

“We are the Bad Wolf,” she whispered, then opened her eyes when the Doctor sucked in a breath. “What?”

He rubbed at his forehead. “I’ll never be fully comfortable with that,” he admitted. “Not that you have a closer connection with our ship than I do—that I honestly love. But the memory of what you did to bond with her, of what it did to you…”

Rose propped herself up on her elbow. “Is there anything of me in the TARDIS?” she wondered. “Like, she left the huon particles in me—is there anything of Rose in her? Or does this all go one way?”

“One way, and one time only,” the Doctor said firmly. “I see the ideas lurking in your mind, Rose Tyler, but please remember, merging with the TARDIS killed you once.”

Timelines shimmered around Rose. The Doctor was wrong. It wasn’t merging with the TARDIS that had killed her; it was taking in the Vortex. If one could be done without the other…

So, would it spoil too much to tell you this relates directly to what Rose does to save them on the Crucible in Forever and Never Apart?

From chapter 47/48:

When the flames had engulfed the Master’s body, the Doctor turned silently and they started to leave.

They’d only taken two steps away from the pyre when Rose stopped. The timelines were flowing around this moment so heavily they almost hummed. She remembered what the Doctor had said about key moments of her life resonating more because of her time as Bad Wolf, and she pulled her hand away from his and followed her instincts around to the other side of the pyre.

“What are you doing, Rose?”

“Doesn’t it seem odd to you, Doctor, that barely five minutes after you told him you knew better than to think he would ever purposely end his life, the Master did exactly that?”

“It was about finally beating me. He wanted to leave me alone,” the Doctor said, his earlier bitterness back.

Rose shook her head as she scanned the ground for… something. “Blowing up the rockets and making the Earth burn would have beaten you, too. He only chose to die when it was obvious he’d lost. It makes me wonder if he had a back-up plan in place.” She spotted something glinting on the ground and picked it up. “I wonder what this is.”

The Doctor came around to join her, and his eyes widened when he saw the ornate silver ring she held. “That’s a resurrection ring,” he said.

“Like in Harry Potter?”

“Sort of.” The Doctor took it and held it up to the firelight. “I thought those were only a myth. They should only be a myth.”

Rose looked at the circular Gallifreyan on the bezel of the ring. “And what does this definitely-not-a-myth do?”

“You leave an imprint on the ring of your identity, and it can be used to… well, not technically bring you back to life… more like create a clone of you, but one that shares all your memories and experiences.”

“It’s a horcrux,” Rose said flatly.

“Well… in a manner of speaking… yes.”

[...]

While Rose took a shower after breakfast, the Doctor moved the TARDIS so they were parked with a supernova just outside the doors. He’d promised her they’d dispose of the Master’s ring, and honestly, after the year they’d just been through, he was just as anxious to make sure his old enemy couldn’t come back.

Once they were in orbit around the dying star, he pushed the doors open and leaned against the doorjamb. He stared out at the stars and watched time swirl and eddy around them. Galaxies born, planets dying, stars going supernova—it was all driven by Time, the force that held the universe together and let it fall apart. The Time War had damaged the Web of Time extensively, but frayed as it was, this much remained.

The Master’s paradox had left ripples in the timelines that would take months or even years to smooth out. The ripples threw his time senses off, but something tugged at him, something about this supernova.

Unable to stand not knowing, he pushed off from the door and walked back to the console. “Why did you pick this supernova, old girl?” he muttered as he checked the coordinates. His eyebrows went up when he made the connection, but Rose appeared before he could say anything to the TARDIS.

She took his hand. “Ready?”

The Doctor pointed to the open doors. “Mount Doom awaits,” he told her. Rose laughed, and a smile tugged at the Doctor’s lips as he followed her to the door.

He pulled the ring out of his pocket and handed it to her. “I think you should have the honour. You were the one who found it, after all.”

Rose hefted the silver ring in her hand, then pitched it out into the mass of gaseous clouds. “Good riddance to bad rubbish,” she muttered as they watched it spin through the vacuum of space.

The Doctor stared, transfixed, as several timelines suddenly disappeared. He could only see shadowy glimpses of them—of a mad Master turning everyone into his clone, of something coming back that should remain lost, of his own painful regeneration—but what he saw was enough to make him grateful that Rose had found the ring.

Yes, I just undid End of Time. The Master will not come back, and without the Master, Rassilon and the Time Lords don’t have the connection of the drums to follow to bring Gallifrey back. 

The specials are getting a pretty major overhaul, actually. They’re really the story of a man going mad with grief, and that’s not who the Doctor is in this series. They don’t fit any longer. And isn’t that a wonderful thing?

[poppyssupergirl]

Love (and Other Feelings Like It)

A thank you to @brinshannara for the beta, you great <3

This is J’onn centered, SuperCorp sap. And you can read it on AO3

The first thing J’onn felt was panic, pure, unadulterated panic. Even before Kara’s head shot up to grin at the heartbeat she could hear through the door, J’onn felt the anxiety wafting from the hallway.

“Lena!”

He’d felt a lot of emotional whiplash in his life, but this was something else. J’onn grimaced as he felt the headache begin. The relief he felt from her was short-lived though, the anxiety already tumbling back into place as she stepped into the apartment.

J’onn was impressed, the only tell to her nerves was the whitening of her knuckles around her purse strap.

James’ reaction was not surprising, you didn’t need telepathy to tell that he wasn’t exactly pleased. However, the panic, anger, betrayal, worry, determination… the dichotomy of his feelings, that surprised J’onn. The amount this man felt seemed borderline painful.

But he stood and nodded at Ms. Luthor, “Ms. Luthor, welcome to the club.”

The first of Ms. Luthor’s anxiety slipped away. J’onn nodded, perhaps James finally had enough proof.

Winn’s overwhelming emotion was excitement, as always. J’onn tried his best not to roll his eyes as Winn nearly leapt over the couch to introduce himself. There was worry in the back of his mind, but there was science in the front of it and Winn didn’t hold back his questions.

“Hi! I’m Winn, Winn Schott, we met at the gala where you made that anti-plasma bomb, could I ask you how you came up with the idea? It was brilliant! And the coupling reactor you had was incredible! That’s at least a couple of years ahead of anything I’ve ever seen before! I’ve got some schematics actually, I was wondering-“

Kara laughed. J’onn did his best not grimace at the blast of affection that wrapped through Lena’s mind. He hadn’t felt anything like that since Alex finally rectified her situation with Detective Sawyer…

“Winn, let her sit down at least!”

Oh god.

J’onn must have groaned out loud, Alex’s hand landed on his arm and he felt her instinct to pull her gun. He shook his head and patted her shoulder as he stood. This was going to make his life a whole hell of a lot harder.

“Hank Henshaw. Ms. Luthor, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Her handshake was firm and J’onn found nothing but worry and thoughts of sunshine in the top layers of her mind.

Well, at least he could take Lena Luthor off the watch list.

“Ms. Luthor.” Alex nodded at her and J’onn felt her slight apprehension, but she followed J’onn’s lead and added, “It’s nice to see you again.”

He felt a bloom of appreciation flood his chest. He knew Alex had her reservations about the Luthor, could feel her worry and disbelief, even with all of Kara’s trust. But she would try and he watched as the same flash of appreciation slipped over Kara’s face.

At least he didn’t need telepathy to read her.

Detective Sawyer opened the bathroom door and stopped. He felt her unease, not that he could blame her at all. She had put Ms. Luthor in handcuffs, for the job or not, that was awkward.

“Uh, Lena, you’ve already met Maggie Sawyer from the NCPD…” Kara did her best not to glare at Maggie. J’onn almost sighed again; she wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

“Ah! Ms. Luthor, sorry about before.” Maggie wiped her hands on her jeans and stepped forward to hold out her hand. “The job and all.”

J’onn felt the hurt on Lena, felt the doubt creep back in. Good lord, no wonder she’d taken to Kara so quickly. This woman needed some sunshine in her life.

“Of course.” Lena’s reply was… courteous, professional. Very briefly, J’onn thought about hiring her as a consultant to train his new recruits. Too bad he could never pay her enough.

Detective Sawyer grinned and J’onn matched her smile before she could even get her words out, “Y’know, just can’t help myself when cuffing a pretty lady.”

He withheld his laughter, the shock in the room dissipated with Kara and Alex’s twin cries of:

“Maggie!”

And just like that, all the tension in the air disappeared. Trust a detective to read a room. Maybe he could tempt her away from the NCPD.

Lena’s emotions were rather comical; it was like watching one of those human sitcoms. She slipped from distrust and hurt to surprise and amusement. Humans normally ate popcorn when they watched a show; J’onn felt it would be an appropriate time for popcorn.

Alex’s embarrassment slipped over him from behind and honestly, J’onn would never tire of that feeling. It always washed away to, there, that mix of pride and giddiness that only the detective could bring out in her.

“What? Don’t tell me any of you wouldn't do the same, given the chance!” A chorus of groans followed her words and the detective, armed with a shit-eating grin, only dug herself in deeper. She leaned into Lena’s space and stage whispered, “You’re kind of an icon in the lesbian community, what with the big ‘L’ on your building.”

Panic, but a different kind of panic, J’onn suspected, swirled through Lena’s mind. He nearly applauded the detective though, what a thorough way to lift the mood in the room. He’d need to ask Vasquez to start the paperwork for her transfer to the DEO.

A shame that she couldn’t see Alex like this, she’d never let her fellow agent live this down. He wondered briefly how her night was going. She’d requested the night off a few months back, but only confided to J’onn that she’d be proposing to her long-time girlfriend a week ago. No wonder he kept feeling apprehension scorch through her randomly at the DEO.

“Oh! Good! You brought wine!” Alex stood and clapped her hands together, pulling J’onn from his thoughts. “If Maggie’s going to be like this, then I think I’ll have a glass.”

Detective Sawyer scoffed and J’onn couldn’t miss the amusement and love that flooded off her. “C’mon, babe, you love my gay jokes!”

Alex sighed as she relieved Lena of the bottle, “Whatever you say, Mags.” Her eyes narrowed and J’onn felt what he could only describe as hunger jolt through her, “Holy shit. You can come back anytime, Lena, anytime.”

A waft of pleasure drifted from Lena at Alex’s careless pat of her shoulder. J’onn could get used to these game nights.

He really didn’t understand the point of this game. The rules said to match the red cards to the green card’s description, however most of the time it was the red card furthest from the green card’s description which won.

Humans.

He laid down his cards in forfeit of this game. He’d dulled his senses to try and make the game fair, but he needed to check in with their surroundings and the DEO.

Love, appreciation, happiness, not the worst emotions to come back to at all, but they still blindsided J’onn. He looked over at Lena as she watched Kara.

‘…wouldn’t look through the cards. She’s competitive but she’d never… again? No, she wouldn’t… but her glasses do slip every now and again…’

So, the Luthor knew. But there was quite obviously no malice in her thoughts. Perhaps… perhaps she could be good for Kara.

Kara still smarted from her fallout with Mon-El. Which was the main reason they hadn’t postponed this game night to wait for Vasquez and, while J’onn was not surprised nor saddened by the Daxamite’s retreat from Kara, he was worried for her.

She didn’t always make the best decisions for herself.

He turned from the cacophony of emotions and picked up his phone. Perhaps he’d send a quick message to Susan as well. Although, if what he remembered of Anne was correct, she may not have access to her phone until well into tomorrow.

James left first, an emergency at Catco.

Maggie and Alex followed not too long after. Their excuse really wasn’t even worth repeating, with a glass of exceptionally expensive red wine in Alex’s system and two in Maggie’s, they weren’t getting any work done tonight.

Winn and Lena talked for some time about particle displacers. Their ideas were exceptionally on point and J’onn mourned again the staggering paycheck this woman would deserve.

She was finally relaxed though. The glass of wine she’d nursed most of the night probably helped with that, but the easy conversation well within her comfort zone seemed to ease her as well.

Kara wandered around the living room, she’d already brushed off everyone’s offers of assistance multiple times. She seemed happy, content to listen to Lena and Winn’s chatter. J’onn threw in his two cents every now and again, mostly on better materials, but he was equally content as his ‘Space Daughter’ to let the ambiance of their conversation wash through him.

Winn’s phone dinged from his pocket and his eye widened at the text, excitement, anxiety, pleasure… probably the girlfriend J’onn mused.

“Oh crap, sorry, Kara, Lena, I’ve got a date!” J’onn congratulated himself silently. “It was awesome talking with you, Lena! Bye, Kara! See ya, J’onn!”

He left in a rush of fluttering feelings and made it out the door before Kara spotted his jacket. “Winn!” She turned back to J’onn and Lena and flashed a smile that sent another wave of affection spiraling off the CEO. “That guy, be right back!”

The warmth of affection stayed in Lena’s chest as her gaze lingered on the door.

“Kara’s not a very patient person.” J’onn pulled his arm from the back of the couch and tilted his head at Lena. “She tends to jump into any relationship that’s easy for her, even if it’s not good for her. She craves affection.”

Confusion rolled off the Luthor and J’onn raised his hand to stop her words. “While neither she nor her sister are telepaths,” He called up the power that always sat in his chest, turning his eyes a striking red. “I am.”

Fear.

“So, while I would love to hire you to train my recruits on proper emotional regulation on the job, I don’t suggest that kind of limiting in the home. It tends to be toxic.” He stood and stretched to the side. “I see how you feel about her, and you’re correct, if you wait, she just might notice you. But how many failed relationships do you want her to go through before that?”

Confusion, worry, fear, apprehension… hope.

“I can see how you would treat her.” He reached for his jacket and slung it over his shoulders before looking the woman in the eyes. “Just know that I consider her a daughter and you’ll have much worse that Alex Danvers to deal with if you hurt her.”

Hope, hope, hope.

J’onn smiled, “Though I can see that’s nowhere in your mind.” He heard Kara’s hand on the opposite side of the door. “Don’t wait too long, Lena. I have a feeling you won’t regret asking.”

The door opened and Kara looked at him in confusion. “Won’t regret what?”

“I’m sure your CEO friend would love to tell you. Goodnight, Kara.”

He turned down the hallway, the thoughts and feelings of the apartment’s inhabitants filtering through the walls. One held a mother and her child, watching cartoons, another, an elderly couple reading in the light of their bedside lamps; a brother and a sister, a man and his dog, a lady and a staggering number of plants, a family of five… a young CEO and an alien.

Love wrapped around this apartment and J’onn let it permeate his very bones. Maybe he’d go flying.

J’onn walked into the control room six days later. A bouquet of sweet peas and hydrangeas waited on the center console. J’onn very pointedly didn’t smile.

“Sir, those are compliments of Lena Luthor. The morning guard brought them this morning, there don’t seem to be any suspicious compounds and the lab has gon-”

Apprehension, worry. “Thank you Agent Hawthorn. I assure you they’re perfectly safe.” J’onn turned to the woman, she was a new recruit, a good one too. “Also, Supergirl flies in and out of this building daily, there’s a fan club camped outside almost constantly, I think Ms. Luthor knew our location long before she sent these. If she was going to try anything, she already would have.”

Agent Hawthorn snapped to attention, embarrassment sliding from her mind, “Of course, sir.”

J’onn nodded and she turned to leave. Vasquez sidled up beside him. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. J’onn rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes, you weren’t the only one having a good night. No, Ms. Luthor doesn’t need to be on the watch list anymore and no, I have nothing else to say on the matter.”

Vasquez bit her lip and saluted. J’onn didn’t know where she’d learned to salute sarcastically, but she’d learned it well. “Tell Anne I say ‘hi’.”

“Of course, sir.”

Happiness. Love. The chatter of minds at work. J’onn turned to the screens and folded his arms behind his back. Minds at work….

“Mr. Schott, I know you aren’t using DEO equipment for games.”

A squeak came from behind J’onn and only Vasquez caught his smile.

[saralaurensmagalona]

Breathe, baby, breathe... A Thorki fanfiction by Magalona

Hello everyone ! Been busy for a while, here is chapter 8 ! Enjoy !

Chapter 8

Loki had been in a blank for several minutes before his heart finally came back to a normal rhythm. It had felt like a crazy machine-gun and a coming asthma crisis was showing its ugly head.

He had grabbed his medicine and willed himself back to full control. It had felt almost impossible.

His first reaction had been to think about Thor, to phone him. But he was afraid now of staying in his own room. It was soiled, now. Degraded. He didn't feel safe in it anymore.

The fact that someone, anyone, could have taken a picture of him and Thor while… Who ? WHO ?! Who could do such an utter, disgustingly intrusive thing ? Who could send it like that as if it was so casual ? Who could act this way and hope not to get caught ever ?

Loki felt lonely and vulnerable. As raped as he used to be when Tony had abused him.

And Thor was the only redeeming thing in his mind.

He grabbed his laptop, terrified that anyone could see it. It was absurd as mails could be so easily tracked down. He didn't care, he didn't think. He needed Thor, that was the only thing for sure.

He had driven like a madman though he was in a residential area. He almost hit Mrs. Bachman's crazy dog. The woman was a hag but her dog was fun. This rang an alarm bell in Loki's head that he was going insane and dangerous. He had to get things back under control or do something he would always regret...

Arrived at Thor's door, he scared Mrs. Odinson who thought he was having a panic attack right on her doorstep (which he was actually). She screamed her son's name and Thor came in seconds, grabbed Loki and made him sit on the sofa. Looking in Loki's eyes, he knew they needed to be alone. He calmly asked to his mom to leave, that he would deal with Loki himself. Mother and son communicated on an almost telepathic level. She knew it was bad but that Thor would make it alright.

And if he couldn't, he would be sensible enough to call her for help.

Yet, the sight of Loki, looking tinier and fragile as ever in her son's big arms was not very reassuring.

****

It appeared Thor had received exactly the same photo. He had tried to trace back the mail only to be lost in a dead alley of false accounts and phony computers. Thor wanted to crash the bloody device. To hunt and kill the perverse peeping tom that turned his brave and dignified Loki into a terrified pile of hysterical jell-o.

His love. His bleeding, terrified heart who'd been through so much already and was now back into hell head first.

“Thor, I am so sorry, so sorry...” Loki babbled pacing Thor's bedroom up and down. “So sorry to drag you into all this, you don't deserve this. But who ? Who the hell did this ?! I was sure everything was locked up and now... How could anyone …? Oh god ! Oh God ! It's my goddamn fault !”

Thor had to grab him and pull him to his chest as he used to each time Loki was nervous or worried or in need of a hug. Loki was badly breathing and if Thor was not taking back control of the situation it would be back to the hospital for Loki. But even in this firm and protective embrace, Loki was still raving and ranting like a madman and shaking like a leave.

“I can't” He whined. “I can't do this anymore ! I just can't ! You should run away, Thor, you should leave me. I won't mind ! I'll deal with it but, please, I'm a wreck and don't get involved more than you already are, I'll destroy you ! I'll drag you down ! That's not what I want, but it is going to happen ! I will and I ...”

“LOKI, I LOVE YOU AND SHUT UP JUST FOR ONE SECOND !”

That did shut Loki up. He remained there, mouth opened and eyes huge, almost panting and wheezing. Thor was really sorry for raising his voice in such a time but he had no time to loose and major damage control to do.

He grabbed the pale face in his both hands and looked straight in the big green lights. He wanted his point to be crystal clear.

“I love you, you hear me ? I'm not expecting you to love me back and I'm okay with it. And it's okay if you don't or won't. But I still love you and I am certainly not going to run away like a coward.”

He was real close to Loki's face almost to the point of kissing him but he wouldn't do it before Loki understood how serious he was.

“We're in it together, we'll face it together. Do you know why it was sent ? The real reason besides freaking us out like crazy ? “

Loki shook his head to a negative response.

“They want to make us part. I've already seen that happened to a girlfriend of mine and her own girl lover. They spy on us, find us disgusting and try to terrorize us 'for our own good'” Thor made the quotation marks with his hands. “So that we fit back 'into the right tracks'” He mimicked the marks again and then grabbed Loki's neck in a more gentle gesture. “I love you. I am staying with you. I will fuck your brains out right here and now if necessary and then fuck you again until the whole neighborhood hear us and see us rutting like animals and you coming like a space rocket.”

Loki went red. The idea of public sex and “coming like a space rocket” was a brutal erotic change from his total despair. It both aroused and scandalized him.

“So.” Thor continued in a calmer tone. “I am not going to leave you. Not now. Whoever send that crap would be so happy if I did. It would show them they were right about us. We stick together, baby. Now, more than ever.”

They let a minute of silence pass by. Loki felt as if he could breathe again. He could breathe forever with Thor's warm hands on his neck. He closed his eyes and Thor took advantage to give him a very sharp and demanding kiss.

Loki could finally sigh out of relief and safety in Thor's arms.

“Feeling better, baby ?” asked Thor, while still holding Loki on his chest and gently rocking him.

“Mmh-mmh.” Loki nodded.

Loki felt again Thor's heart on his. Its soft and deep rhythm, once again, soothing Loki's own. He felt heavy and drained out on Thor's shoulder, his head resting on his boyfriend, his anchor, his lover... They remained silent and content in each other's embrace.

Thor thought Loki might have dozed off when he heard words spoken so low they were almost inaudible.

“I love you, too...” Loki murmured. “I do...”

Minutes later, Mrs. Odinson spotted her son carrying his boyfriend up the stairs like a groom, his bride.

Seconds only after they locked themselves in the room, (she was displeased hearing the click of the lock) she heard a characteristic sound. The regular bumping of a headboard, indicating to all asunder that her eldest son was indulging himself into bedroom “activities” with his boyfriend. In her house, right in the middle of the day, while she was still present and just before her other children came back from school. She didn't know which one of these big no-nos infuriated her the most.

Yet, hearing a faint aerial moan that didn't come from her son's mouth and knowing what was going on for them both, she chose to say nothing.

Because, right here and now, that probably what they needed.

****

They had remained naked in bed until they heard Thor's younger brothers joyous chatting down the hall. Usually, hearing his brothers coming home from school was a happy sound to Thor. Now it was just remembering him that there was a real world outside his bedroom and that it was beckoning. A frigging bore.

Loki had to wake up and they had to get dressed. They couldn't allow any of Thor's under aged siblings to see his naked boyfriend. The Odinson's house was a rather open-minded one but there was definitely limits where minors were concerned.

Plus, Thor and Loki had to have a conversation with Thor's parents. And it wasn't going to be agreeable...

A few minutes later, after greetings the kids, helping them to cookies and milk with Thor's Mom, Mr. Odinson was back from the office. He was a little surprise to see Loki so late in the evening. He had just left Loki's Dad and told Loki so, smiling. He realized that his wife, son and son's boyfriend looked paled and worried and that Loki didn't want to talk about his dad at all...

The four of them waited until each boy settled in their respective rooms (Thor had his own but his siblings were divided into two bedrooms), doing their homework or playing games, and had the conversation.

Thor was red and Loki even redder when they had to show the picture to Otto...

They felt raped.

Otto considered it without a word and muttered a curse under his breath.

“This is bad, boys.” He finally said. “Judging from the angle the picture was taken, that person was very close to Loki's window. Enough to have a very clear view. It could even be a drone...”

“Maybe.” Loki added. “But the tree under my window is rather large and easy to climb. I've thought about it. He could have hid in the higher branches without the neighbors or us seeing or hearing anything. A drone would have been spotted...”

“Either way.” Said Mrs. Odinson. “This is a highly dangerous person and we should call the police !”

Loki blanched.

“No ! Please ! We can't”

“Loki...” Mr. Odinson started.

“NO !” Loki brutally cut, desperate. “You don't know how these people are ! If they knew... You don't know my family !”

Mr. and Mrs. Odinson gave Loki a look that clearly meant they had a perfect picture of who his parents were.

“Loki...” Pursued Mrs. Odinson. “Believe me, we don't want our son's privacy and yours exposed like this but... This is a crime ! You are both in danger ! What if...”

“NO ! NO ! NO !!!” Loki screamed and held his head with both hands.

The police. The officers smirking and making disgusting comments on Loki and Thor together. Laughing at him and Thor and their parents. Spitting at everything that was good and pure in his life, everything that was Thor and him...

“Please...” He softly begged. His breath was becoming ragged again. He couldn't bear it anymore...

Thor, tears in his eyes, came to him and held him.

“Please, Mom...” Thor said. “We need to think. We cannot go to the police like that... At least, not before Loki and I had talked to Loki's parents.”

Loki raised his head and looked at Thor with monstrous eyes.

“You cannot...” He breathed.

Thor held his head in his own hands, the same way he did earlier in the afternoon.

“Baby, we need to file a claim ASAP. But we need to tell your parents first. I don't want them to know about us like this, right in front of the cops and seeing the picture unprepared. We need to get out of the closet, baby, we cannot hide anymore, even if we wanted to...”

Loki was literally falling apart.

“They'll throw me out.” He murmured. “They couldn't stand the shame of having a gay son... They'll ruin your parents for good measure.”

“Not that I wouldn't be glad to be back in Houston...” Shrugged Otto. Freya nodded. This little incident had cut their enthusiasm for the place.

“Baby...” Thor started.

“They'll cast me out... And college hasn't even started yet ...” Loki was ashamed to sound so whiny. But it was the entire truth. Larry and Nathalie would throw him out of the house the minute he would have pronounced the G-word and he would be left to care for himself all alone.

“Look, dearie,” Freya interrupted. “If this came to happen, you would be welcome into this family. It is not the first time we would have helped someone in this situation.”

Indeed, when one of Thor's classmates turned out to be gay and had tried to tell his parents only to be thrown out of his own house, Freya and Otto had taken him in for a while. The boy's grandfather had then intervened, publicly disowned the shameful parents and taken the boy  in New York to live with him.

Loki was surprised but it wasn't really reassuring.

“Baby, look, let's wait a bit, okay ? Until we graduate and go to college. There is only a month left. Until then, we'll find a way and be careful. You good ?”

Loki agreed. He knew they were buying time but it was better than to go right here and now publicly and ruin everything. He nodded. This was only running away.

But the alternative sounded even worse than a stalker harassing them.

Otto and Freya remained silent but shared a grim look that clearly expressed what they felt.

*****

Loki had spent hours examining the picture. It had been taken one of these afternoons when the house was empty. It was very bright, meaning that the weather had been very good this day. Yet it didn't help about the moment it was taken for the sun had been up and shiny for a long while. As they were naked, Loki had no indication about what they were wearing that day that could have helped. A rather fresh bruise the shape of a pear on Thor's thigh, the result of an accidental blow during training, indicated yet that the photo was fairly recent, maybe a week old. The bruise had just started fading.

But apart from that, there was no clue whatsoever...

A drone, Freya Odinson had suggested. It sounded too much like a spy novel to Loki. He was quite sure, judging from the picture, that the perpetrator had taken it from the big branch, close to his window. Loki had climbed that tree so many times, when he was younger, he knew all the good places to hide there and see everything. He used that same branch to spy on his brothers when his room used to be theirs before his parents built an extension to the house.

Loki had not so many suspects. He was quite sure him and Thor had been extra careful. Thor might have enemies. He was popular, he was very much liked, he was kind, fun and talented. He could have attracted jealousy. Loki laid his money on someone on the football team. Except that none would have been bright enough to come to all this trouble... The harassing part, however... But how could have they planned the computer blurring ? Loki snorted. He wasn't sure they even knew how to type correctly...

Concerning Loki ? Could it be that he had “enemies” ?

In the tiny, puny world of the rich neighborhood kids, compared to his brothers, or even to Tony or Thor, Loki didn't weigh much. He was the “weird one,” “the nerd”, the haughty little genius no one appreciated nor liked. As Loki had had a Gothic period, he had been rumored to be a satanist during middle school. It hadn't helped making him a better reputation.

Yes, despised, he was. Feared ? Maybe. Detested enough to be bullied ? Probably. But to elaborate such a complicated plan ? Loki's worst opponents used to prefer the “direct approach,” punching him in a discreet location. Or, defeat him publicly in some scholar competition for the ones who actually had a brain. Which was the only tactic Loki had some respect for. But stalking ? None of the more intelligent ones had a taste for this undignified kind of things. Loki had to grant them that. They had the means and the nous but not the evil. The others might have said evil and the means but certainly not the nous...

So none was fitting the profile. It had to be someone with tools and sufficient gray cells, time on his hands and money. Loki had a tendency to agree with Thor. It wasn't someone who had a grudge either with Thor or Loki. Whoever he (or she, it definitely could be a she...) was, he (or she) hated them both and wanted them apart, or ruined or whatever...

Actually there was someone who perfectly fitted the profile.

Yet, in remembrance of whatever they had together, Loki couldn't bear it the idea that he could be him. He hoped against all hopes that this person wasn't that vile, that hateful to do something so disgusting...

Loki thought for a while, then took a deep breath and dialed Tony's number.

*****

They were in Loki's room, standing against each other. There had been much yelling but they had finally calmed down. Tony was massaging his temples. He looked seriously distressed and outraged at the accusation but Loki wasn't sure of anything anymore.

“For the last time, Loki, IT. WASN'T. ME ! You really think I could be such a goddamn coward ?!”

Loki gave him a significant look.

“Okay, okay...” Conceded Tony. “I am a coward for many reasons, I admit it. But not for this Loki, I swear !”

Loki glared at him.

“I swear ! Yes, I regret what I did to you, what I did to my girl... I lost you both and I have to live with that. But this ?! What would be the purpose of this ?!”

Loki shrugged.

“I don't know, take a pick ! Revenge against me, against Thor, against us both ? Trying to get Thor to dump me and then  playing the white knight in his shiny armor to win me back...”

Tony made a weird expression Loki immediately recognized.

“You thought about it...”

“Yes.” Tony quickly said. “Yes, I admit I thought about ways to send Johnny Football Hero away so I could have a chance to have you back. But not this, Loki, I swear ! And anyway, I abandoned any plans quite fast... I mean... You and him ? Joined at the hip practically. There is not one shred of a chance for me concerning you.”

He opened his hands as a gesture of good faith.

“It's true, Loki. I am not doing an 'I-am-a-different-person' crap on you. I am being sincere for once. I might be capable of many nasty things but this ?” He pointed towards the infamous photo. “This is pure shit. I don't want to be part of anything like this. I have my pride ! At least, give me that.”

Loki pondered this for a bit and then nodded. Something in Tony's tone was unusual. Something that sounded like the truth. He chose then to believe Tony.

“Look.” Tony said again rising up. “As a proof of my good faith, let me do this for you. I will chase down that mail and found where it had been sent and even written. You know I have the capacities for it...”

That was right, Tony's father had made a fortune working with the army and other high-level services.

“Okay...” Loki softly said. “Anything you can learn.”

Tony sighed and looked at Loki straight in the eyes. It had a feeling of definite goodbyes.

“You know, I really tried...”

“Tony, please...”

“No seriously... If Johnny and you, you don't... well...”

“Get out, Tony !”

Loki ushered him out without real anger and they parted on good terms.

*****

One week passed. Only three left before graduation and the final announcement. Loki was rehearsing it, trying to find the right approach to say to your mom and dad that you like to screw boys.

It would be a hell raiser...

Loki was dallying, trying to avoid the truth. Praying that the creep had forgotten about them both. Hoping against all hope that it would come to an end in itself.

As if.

Yet nothing had happened and still no news from Tony. It was straining. Like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The worst being that, despite all their determination not to change anything in their lives, Loki and Thor were less carefree and seeing each other less often, less privately. Maybe, the fact of the big season match didn't help. Thor was totally immersed in it. He had given a sad little smile of apology to Loki across the field during training. Loki had smiled back. He missed Thor badly but he understood.

He felt lonely now, though. And fed up, big time.

Every time something good happened to him, lo and behold, it was ruined by fate or humankind. He was sick and tired of it. He felt like a terrified rabbit waiting for the hunter to show up and shoot and probably, that was what the stalker hoped him to be.

He wanted to stop waiting like a martyr for the next blow. He wanted to take action and strike back. His only hope was Tony. Only he could give him a clue.

In the meanwhile he was sad and lonely.

One night, he was browsing for a research paper, his heart heavy when he heard a rattling on the window. He almost had a heart attack, thinking that the stalker had finally climbed the tree to  invade his bedroom.

It was Thor, standing on the big branch like Robin Hood on Maid Marian's balcony, grinning like a fool his usual dashing smile.

Loki opened his window, both wanting to kiss or smash the fool.

“What are you doing here ? You'll be spotted for a thief !”

“Am I not a thief ? I have come to steal a kiss !”

“Stop joking, you idiot !” Loki was angry saying that but his heart was fluttering just the same.

Nonetheless, he kissed his lover while trying not to make him lose his balance.

“Three weeks left, my love, and we're out of all of this...” Thor murmured.

“Three weeks left...” Nodded Loki. “I love you.”

And then Thor disappeared in a rustling of leaves. As discreet as an evening breeze. Loki felt better than he had in ages.

Despite the vague feeling of being observed... Except that there was no one around.

*****

The following morning was a sunday and nothing new occurred. Loki was wondering how he was going to spend the day and whether Thor could be free from training.

He was idly looking at the view from his mother's living room when his phone rang. He had hoped for Thor but it was Tony. Loki grimaced, he was not ready for that yet. He answered. He had to.

“Tony ?”

“Listen, Loki.” Tony's muffled voice came. “I managed to track it down. It wasn't easy at all, the bastard's a tricky one but I used unusual means so ...”

Loki rolled his eyes. Trust Tony Stark to show off and not to care about wasted time.

“Anyways, long story short, I found something... And it's not good...”

Loki was about to ask question when an angry voice shouted from up the stairs.

“Loki ! Come here right now !”

His father. He was in his office and his yelling unabled Loki to understand what was being said.

“Tony, I gotta go ! Talk to you later !” Loki was furious to reject Tony like that but he couldn't hear and deal with his father in the same time. While he was jumping up the stairs, he still heard Tony's voice.

“Loki ! Wait ! The mail ! It's from your home ! It came from your place !”

Loki had no time to ask Tony what he was talking about.

He was standing in his father's office, Larry Laufeyson was holding his laptop, his face violet with rage, his eyes bulging, almost ready to crack and break down. Loki turned instantly into stone, seeing the screen.

“What the fuck is this fucking shit !?” Screamed his father at the top of his lungs.

On the screen was the photograph of him and Thor and Loki couldn't help in this utter disaster to think that Thor was indeed handsome. Everything was lost anyway, so why not indulge in Thor's image one last time ?

Above the picture was the flashing, blood-red caption...

FAGGOTS. FAGGOTS. FAGGOTS.