#tisaf

[nerevarswritingstuff]

Live reaction to me reading the teaser edits to tisaf

HAHAHAHAHA

I'M GLAD YOU’RE ENJOYING THEM

It's been a slow grind but so worth it

I can't wait for y'all to see the finished product

[444names]

genword series: kartaran predef

Aa Aaf Aap Aat Aauneĭ Aaĺoĭf Ae Aeĭm Aeĭs Aif Aifisaĭf Aim Akaś Akia Ako Alaĭ Ao Aof Aototia Apam Apeof Api Apoa Apuĭsuĭs Asakaa Asesaĭe Asifuĭn Asikao Asio Asuf Ataaĭs Atiu At́opia Aĭe Aĭo Aĭoaś Aĭos Aĭsam Aĭsias Aśiis Aśof Ea Eaĭ Eesiip Ekisu Ekiśoaf Ekuś Eĭkalaf Eĭo Faa Fana Fataĭkpii Fekaĭn Feĭta Fiaś Fisaĭ Fiśakaś Foas Foaś Fośkooĭ Futaś Haka Hasa Hasposi Hat́ak Haĭ Haĭu Hius Hoek Hosokoĭo Hosuo Hotaĭs Hot́uof Huam Hutouĭ Huĭtuaĭn Ia Ias Iato Iaĭ Iaĭeĭaf Iaĭs Iaĭtuĭm Ifao Ihan Iis Iiń Ikau Ikeo Ikeń Iku Io Ioĭ Ipasika Ipoe Isakuaĭ Itaotio Itetoĭm Itoĭsa Ituaĭ Kaaf Kaeĭ Kakiś Kao Kaotioĭf Kasaś Kasetaak Katuptososaf Kau Kauf Kaĭ Kaĭs Kaĭtata Kaśoĭf Keeĭf Ketuaf Keĭlaĭ Keśaas Kipfe Kiptosihaĭoĭ Kiseĭm Kist́uos Kitas Kiśaoĭ Kiśikaf Koon Kopiusioĭs Kopo Kosak Kosiuĭsaĭf Koĭtaka Koĭtiń Kuo Kuĭkhos Oa Oasoon Oat́es Oaĭtitian Oaś Ohuf Oi Okan Okeas Okeĭkaĭuĭ Oof Ooĭ Opauf Oraan Osekif Osoo Osopo Osuro Osuĭkif Otaahae Otakutaoĭ Otatapaĭm Otuhaf Oĭa Oĭki Oĭran Oĭsao Oĭseĭtokaoś Oĭu Ośapusaos Paa Pakakisaĭof Pao Papaf Pasat Pasaĭ Pase Patestata Patis Patoo Patoĭsoso Paĭkuĭos Paĭsis Paĭś Paśpatafaa Pea Pelkaoĭ Petam Peu Peĭotikasu Peĭpafas Peĭtaaś Peĭto Piaĭ Piaĭn Pieś Pio Pioĭm Pispaoĭn Pitaas Pitoĭ Poa Poman Poof Posaĭs Posihof Potif Potin Pot́uem Poĭ Poĭa Poĭskasaĭkof Pufin Pukpoś Pusi Pusteĭhas Putuus Saa Saaf Saeĭ Safas Sakhafeĭf Sako Salus Sao Saof Saon Saos Saoś Sapiĺetaa Satoka Satotataf Satuuf Sau Saĭ Saĭe Saśes Senos Seoĭkitaĭf Seĭ Seĭf Seĭo Siatas Siaĭ Siklaotaĭ Sioĭ Sisoo Sit́oaf Soa Soef Soem Soeĭ Sokaot́eĭut́ Sokań Sokuś Soof Soos Sootateeh Sooś Sosakho Sosin Sosioĭ Sosta Sotaĭteo Sotoĭpekputus Soura Soĭ Soĭa Soĭlka Soĭoń Soĭsa Sośae Sośaĭ Sua Suas Sukhoaf Supiko Sutiaś Sutok Suus Suĭkus Suĭotiu Suĭs Suĭsue Suĺiś Taan Taataoĭ Taaĭn Taaś Tae Taka Takef Takhektoa Takitikeĭka Talo Tapoo Tapoput Tarok Tart́osaĭ Tasa Tasataaś Taskuh Tasofum Tasua Tataś Tatotistim Tatpokaĭs Tatua Tatus Tau Taukakeĭ Tausasoko Taĭe Taĭf Taĭke Taĭpaĭs Taĭs Taĭstaa Taĭuf Taĭń Tekhaĭpaĭtak Tektioseĭe Teo Tepie Teposet Teĭet́aĭpef Tiak Tiaĭm Tikeĭs Tiku Tikuĭk Tiokaĭos Tion Tipa Tipas Tipuĭa Tirat Tisaf Tisośaĭ Titaos Titiś Titototaas Titoĭ Toa Toasisoli Toatat Toaĭsiotof Toef Tofias Tohos Tokikim Tokoas Tokpuĭs Tokteśe Tokuoĭ Toos Toosusoo Topaĭ Tosekiiń Toskas Totau Totpiaĭs Tous Toĭ Toĭas Toĭo Toĭtoĭs Toĭu Tośka Tua Tukaoń Tusaĭkoś Tutakan Tutosoka Tuĭ Tuĭktosut Tuĭo Tuĭpaĭs Tuĭsoĭa Tuĭu Tuĭus Tuśpoĭkipapen T́aat́eoĭ T́aaĭ T́ae T́asi T́atau T́atosaf T́at́atuos T́aĭ T́aĭka T́aĭrsoapen T́eaĭ T́ekeĭpoak T́iesoo T́ikas T́istuuĭtos T́iśi T́oa T́oaĭ T́oktan T́oon T́oos T́otipias T́otou T́oĭtakik T́oĺa T́uaĭtoseĭn T́unak T́uo T́uokaaĭ Ua Uaś Uesim Ufaostahas Ufesaaś Ukiotoĭ Uo Uof Uos Usi Utaĭs Uus Uĭeĭ Uĭsitaom Uśas Śaĭsataaĭp Śesafaĭa Śeĭs Śia Śoa Śuĭkaĭf

[chocolatequeennk]

You said in the comments on AO3 that part of your reason for making the Master's death permanent in the Timelessness timeline was a dislike for Missy. Was it her self-cest with Simm!Master that was off-putting or just something else that can be traced to Moffat?

Actually, that wasn’t part of the reason. Eliminating Missy (and any other future regenerations of the Master) is a side benefit, not the reason for changing the storyline. 

My reason for redoing the specials, including End of Time, stemmed from the Doctor being in a completely different mental place in my series than he was in canon.

The specials (in canon) are essentially the story of the Doctor going mad from grief. He has once again lost everyone. Instead of finding someone to help him heal, he isolates himself. The end result is a Doctor who thinks he can force Time to obey him, and who would actually say those things to Wilf about how much more important he is. 

I strongly believe that he needed to regenerate, not just because of the radiation but also for his mental health.

My Doctor is in the exact opposite place. Instead of losing his entire family, he has a bigger family than he’s ever had before. He’s not going to make the kind of choices the canon Doctor made that led to him being so bad off mentally that he needed a completely fresh start.

And I’d written in the whole idea of Rose being able to sense those timelines that were particularly important to them personally. With that, I had an organic way to change the structure of the specials by having her find the ring and insist that they get rid of it. 

To answer your question about Missy, I absolutely despised her intro story with the Cybermen. I found it creepy and extremely disturbing. (The idea that all those dead people are now Cybermen was just... Including the Brig? Probably other friends of the Doctor? No thanks.)

I also objected to the line that she changed her name because she couldn’t be called The Master now. It was classic Moffat sexism and I’m not here for that. 

And my dislike of Missy is why I stopped watching after S8. Spoilers made it clear that she’d be a major part of S9, and I was not interested.

[chocolatequeennk]

Im re reading the being to timelessness series and im on time is still a flying and im so mad i didnt notice all the foreshadowing that their bond was gonna get messed with sooner!! like i totally missed it on the first read through but NOW im like "oh god ALL OF THAT WAS FORESHADOWING" anyways i just wanted to say u did a superb job on that. Usually i can pick up on foreshadowing even if i can tell exactly what is being foreshadowed. Ur such a good writer thanks for the amazing stories!!

Yes! There is so much foreshadowing in TISAF. (And FANA, but Bad Wolf!Rose is less of a stunner than the Master breaking the bond, so...)

I almost feel like I overdid the foreshadowing, but I know that’s because I knew what it was all building towards. I knew those lines (or the whole last part of chapter 30) were foreshadowing when I wrote them.

Thank you!

[chocolatequeennk]

Without the Doctor's severed hand, "The Lazarus Experiment" is arguably a red herring in TISAF. In the show, The Master funded the experiment that produced the youth device, because it's what let him turn his usual laser screwdriver into an instant-aging weapon when combined with the Doctor's biological code. But without access to the Doctor's code, what's his motive for funding Lazarus's experiment (and for that matter, getting the Doctor and Rose invited to the demonstration)?

Lazarus’ company is also what gives him his in with the Jones family, and thus a connection to the Doctor. That’s the angle I focused on in TISAF.

1) The Master knew that a machine that would “change what it means to be human” would get the Doctor’s attention;

2) He made sure the Doctor’s companion’s sister worked for the company;

3) He weaponised the whole incident to convince Francine to hate the Doctor (or try to, in TISAF);

4) Specifically in TISAF, he got a lot of enjoyment out of putting the Doctor and Rose’s names on the guest list.

He likes pulling strings, and it was a way for him to do that.

[chocolatequeennk]

I had one last TISAF ask: what would the Master have done to come to power if the Doctor hadn't deposed Harriet Jones? Do you think he would've found a way to force her out of office in the eighteen months between his arrival on Earth (before the Sycorax invasion) and his election as Prime Minister?

Oh, definitely. He’s a master manipulator. It wouldn’t have been hard for him to stir up sentiment against her. 

In my other series, Glimpses of a Different Life, Harriet Jones stays in power. In that story, the plan is that they’ll never meet the Master. 

[chocolatequeennk]

Another ask, this one pertaining to TISAF: I have to say I like your Francine Jones better than the show Francine. I feel she's more likable when you have Rose there to alleviate Francine's suspicions about the Doctor to the point that the bit where her slapping the Doctor would've been OOC. And the additional side effect of her only betraying Martha's friends because the Master forced her hand, rather than it being something she did quite willingly.

I agree! I mean, I know the Doctor really botched his introduction to Francine (way to appear suspicious, Doctor!) but I still think they took her from 0 to 60 way too fast. 

I liked having Rose there to smooth over those mistakes the Doctor made, allowing me to change the course of their interactions. I never (hopefully) make changes that come out of nowhere, so to change how Francine saw them, I had to change those initial encounters. Even if I feel like the script writers really overdid things.

[chocolatequeennk]

I just reread the wedding scene in TISAF and it’s one of my favorite scenes ever. It’s so happy and romantic and perfect. And it just got me thinking. What have been some of your favorite romantic scenes to write in the series?

Oh, what a fun question!! Like I said on Thursday night when you sent me this, I’m going to cheat a bit. I’ll do the top five romantic scenes in this post, then later today and tomorrow, I’ll do two separate lists of the top moments the Doctor and Rose said or did something to show they love the other. Romance is one thing... the long-term commitment to keep love going is another.

The Top Five Romantic Moments in Being to Timelessness

To Make Much of Time, chapter 28 (In which the Doctor and Rose bond)

[The Doctor] shifted so they were standing side by side holding hands again, clasped palm to palm with their fingers laced together. The Medusa Cascade was invisible, but Rose could still see the possibilities swirling in the air.

His fingers tightened in hers, and she glanced up at his face. How long are you going to stay with me?

Rose’s heart sped up. This was him, asking. She felt her own timeline and saw only one path forward. There was no universe in which she wouldn’t want the Doctor. Forever, she told him, never more sure of anything in her life.

The word carried the weight of authority, and they both shivered as it settled into their timelines, forming the provisional bond that would begin to tie their minds together.

To Make Much of Time, chapter 40 (In which the Doctor proposes)

“Right now, we’re in a geosynchronous orbit. And that—” [the Doctor] pointed to the cloud-obscured planet—“is London. Specifically, London on the fourth of March, 2005. In about two hours, a weary old Time Lord will take the hand of an extraordinary shopgirl who will remind him that there is still some good left in the universe.”

Rose looked up at him. “And a London shopgirl who’s convinced she’s never gonna do anything else will be rescued by an alien who shows her that the universe is so much bigger than she’d imagined.”

...

The Doctor ... had the box open and the ring out before Rose could fully form her protest. Her mouth fell open, and she took the ring from him.

“You’ve already promised yourself to me according to Gallifreyan customs. I want to make the same promise to you in the way you grew up expecting.” Rose’s gaze flitted up to meet his. “Marry me?”

Time is Still A-Flying, chapter 6 (The Doctor and Rose’s wedding)

[The Doctor] placed his hands on her temples, and Rose mirrored him. This is the last time we’ll need to be touching to go into each other’s minds, he told her. Last chance to change your mind—there’s no going back after this.

Don’t want to go back. I just want to go forward, with you, forever.

The Doctor’s hands trembled on her temples. I love you, he told her fervently.

...

The words came easily to Rose. I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

She could feel his deep joy and a pleasure that went far beyond happiness, and then he said, Now, Rose.

With the TARDIS’ help, she pressed into the telepathic centre of his mind, feeling him do the same thing in hers. The awareness of him that their bond had given her flared and deepened. She knew more than how he was feeling or what he was thinking; she knew him.

Yes. Oh, Rose. You are my forever.

Taking Time, chapter 4 (Their third anniversary, following a year of healing after the Master)

They dropped over the edge of the cliff, and Rose’s giggle turned into a gasp. The sun was low on the horizon over the azure waters of the Barcelonian sea. Wispy clouds had moved in during the late afternoon and now caught the pink and purple rays of the setting sun.

But the Doctor was more interested in how the shifting colours danced over Rose’s features. Her blonde hair caught the pink light of the sun, making it look like rose gold. He reached out and brushed a strand out of her face, and she turned to look up at him.

My pink and yellow Rose, he said as he leaned down to kiss her. Happy anniversary.

Rose sighed when he caught her lower lip between his. Happy anniversary, Doctor.

Forever and Never Apart, chapter 22 (Just. Very romantic.)

“You said you weren’t ready for me to regenerate yet. And I thought… You loved the old me; you’ve told me that before. So… would it really be so bad if I regenerated?”

Oh. She hadn’t really been thinking when she’d said that—she certainly hadn’t been thinking about how the words would sound to the Doctor.

...

That’s not what I meant, Doctor, she told him. I loved you then and I love you now. I’ve even loved the younger versions of you we’ve met. I’ll love every you in the future, I promise.

Then why…

She reached out and took his hand, keeping her touch delicate as she stroked his fingers. These are the hands that touched me the first time we made love. She ran her finger over his eyebrow. These are the eyes that looked into mine when we said our wedding vows.

“Rose…”

His raspy whisper brought tears to her eyes. “And that’s the voice that told me you loved me for the first time,” she concluded. “I’ll love every you, Doctor, because every Doctor is you. But there have been so many of those first moments shared with this you, and I’m not ready to let go of that yet.”

Thanks again for the ask! I had a lot of fun with this post, and I’m looking forward to the next two.

[chocolatequeennk]

Time is Still A-Flying, recap

This is part two of my recap posts as we get ready for Forever and Never Apart on Tuesday. You can read the To Make Much of Time recap here.

Time is Still A-Flying

Ten x Rose, series 3 with Rose. Rated Teen.

AO3 | FF.net | Teaspoon | Tumblr

Summary: With a bond and a promise of forever, the Doctor and Rose have managed to escape the trap set for them in Torchwood. But Time is not yet done with them. The Master is still in London and Election Day draws ever closer. He’s tried to separate them once; will they survive a second attempt? Part 3 of Being to Timelessness; sequel to To Make Much of Time (AO3 | FF.net | Teaspoon)

From chapter 4:

“I’ve been wondering something, Doctor,” Rose said. “How come the huon particles in me didn’t… buzz or whatever like Donna’s did?”

The Doctor poured more wine for both them, then settled back against the hearth again. “Well, yours are actually part of your biology,” he explained. “The part of the TARDIS she left behind in you.”

“Right…”

“Think about it this way. You’ve got iron running through your entire body, in your blood. But when someone holds a magnet up to you, do you notice?”

“I do now.”

The Doctor laughed and tickled Rose. “Before you changed, cheeky minx.”

“So, it’s like the difference between the iron in my blood and wearing jewellery with iron in it? Donna was just… wearing huon particles like an accessory.”

“Exactly!”

Rose having huon particles in her body like this is something that will come up again later. Stay tuned...

From chapter 6:

“Rose, when I met you, I was broken and alone. From the moment I took your hand in that basement—oh, such a long time ago—you helped fill up the loneliness and teach me how to live again.

“Falling in love with you was as inevitable as it was unexpected. I was…” His voice faltered, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “I was terrified by how much I needed you in my life. One fragile human, holding the hearts of the last Time Lord. What would happen when I lost you?

“I tried to run, and I tried to send you away. Today, I promise I won’t do either ever again. As our hands are now bound together by cloth, so also will our lives by joined by Time. Your future is my future, from now until forever.”

Rose blinked back a few more tears, then swallowed and smiled up at him. Until she’d listened to him, she’d still been unsure of what to say, but now the words came easily.

“Doctor, when I met you, I was lost. My life was nothing more than work, chips, and evenings at the pub. I knew I wanted more, but everyone around me said it was impossible. Then you took my hand and pulled me into your mad life, and I’ve never looked back—not even when you tried to send me away.”

She raised an eyebrow, and the Doctor smiled sheepishly.

“From our very first date, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life travelling with you. Then I fell in love with you, and I wanted to spend forever with you… travelling was an added bonus.

“I promised you forever before we knew how close to the truth that was.” She paused for a moment, then said, “Doctor, I’m never gonna willingly leave you—you’re stuck with me.”

“Stuck with you, Rose Tyler?” the Doctor said, his voice rough. “That’s not so bad.”

[...]

He placed his hands on her temples, and Rose mirrored him. This is the last time we’ll need to be touching to go into each other’s minds, he told her. Last chance to change your mind—there’s no going back after this.

Don’t want to go back. I just want to go forward, with you, forever.

The Doctor’s hands trembled on her temples. I love you, he told her fervently, then took a deep breath to get control over his emotions. Completing a marriage bond requires a third telepathic presence. Normally this would be the officiant, but the TARDIS will facilitate for us.

The presence of the TARDIS strengthened until Rose felt like the time ship was holding both her mind and the Doctor’s safely in her hands.

That’s it exactly, Rose.

Rose felt the Doctor weaving his mind around hers, and she followed his example, as best as she could. He and the TARDIS helped when she wasn’t sure what to do, guiding her until she knew, intuitively, that there was only one step remaining.

The Doctor hovered over the telepathic centre of her mind, and with the TARDIS’ help, Rose found the matching place in his. She looked to him, waiting for a cue as to what to do next, and to her surprise, a third set of vows followed.

I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

The words came easily to Rose. I take you as my bond mate, sharing my life, my mind, and all I am with you. I promise never to lie to you, and to be true to our bond through regeneration after regeneration, until we are finally parted by death.

She could feel his deep joy and a pleasure that went far beyond happiness, and then he said, Now, Rose.

With the TARDIS’ help, she pressed into the telepathic centre of his mind, feeling him do the same thing in hers. The awareness of him that their bond had given her flared and deepened. She knew more than how he was feeling or what he was thinking; she knew him.

Yes. Oh, Rose. You are my forever.

This is one of the biggest differences between TISAF and most S3 rewrites. Typically, the Doctor and Rose spend series three working through the remaining issues keeping them apart, and the story ends with them fully committed to each other in a romantic relationship. But since I wrote that into an S2 rewrite (and also, my headcanon is that most of that happened in S2 even in canon), in my S3 rewrite, they’re together right from the beginning. It makes a big difference several times in how things play out, not the least of which is the way it completely eliminates Martha’s crush on the Doctor. Having an actual wedding wasn’t necessary for those changes, but I really wanted to go whole hog and have them married throughout this whole story.

From chapter 9:

The Master paused the streaming radio on his laptop.

[...]

So, the Doctor and Rose had met Martha Jones. It was time to put his next piece into play.

He picked up his phone and dialled a familiar number. “Lady Thaw?” he said when the woman picked up. “Harold Saxon here. I wondered if Miss Jones had given you a final guest list for tomorrow’s gala event.”

When Lady Thaw told him that no, she didn’t expect the list until the morning, his politician’s smile spread across his face. “Then I wonder if it would be possible to have you add two more names to the list when you see it—as a personal favour to me. An old school friend of mine will be in town tomorrow with his wife, and I know they’d be fascinated with Professor Lazarus’ work.”

Lady Thaw was always willing to oblige Mr. Saxon in anything he wished, of course. “Excellent. Their names are the Doctor and Rose Tyler. No, not Doctor Tyler. His wife is Rose Tyler, but he is just the Doctor.” The Master’s smile turned sharklike. “It’s an old nickname that’s stuck, I’m afraid. You should hear what he calls me.”

The whole notion of the Master in the background of S3, pulling all the strings, was really fun to play with. Having him put the Doctor and Rose’s names on the invitation list for Lazarus’ gala just gave the story a little twist.

From chapter 14:

[The Doctor] ground his teeth, and pain exploded behind his right eye, through the temple area, and down into the jaw. “Because I deserve to be punished! I destroyed two races, Rose, on top of the dozens of civilisations the War had already damaged irreparably. Nothing can undo that.”

Rose was quiet for a several minutes. The Doctor could tell she was deep in thought, but his own mind was too frazzled for him to be able to pick up on her train of thought

When she finally spoke, she said the last thing he’d expected her to say. “You’re right.”

“What?” Rose wasn’t supposed to agree with his self-condemnation. She was the one who always tried to get him to see the good in himself.

“You’re right,” she repeated. “Nothing can undo it. Your planet is gone, and your people with it.”

The Doctor flinched away from her, curling himself into the corner of the couch. Hearing the harsh truth from her lips prodded at the ache lodged in his chest that he’d been trying to ignore since he’d ended the War. “Rose, please…” he whispered.

But she was relentless. “I can’t imagine what it must have felt like, to look at the destruction both sides were causing and know it was a choice between the end of the War, or the end of the universe.”

The memory of that moment was still crystal clear in the Doctor’s mind, however. He’d felt the timelines converging for months—years even—until there had been only two possible endings to the War.

He’d tried so hard to find another way. His eighth incarnation had fought on the front lines, becoming a warrior instead of the Doctor he’d claimed to be. But when the Daleks broke through the sky trenches and Arcadia fell, he’d known there was no other way. Breaking into the archives was easy. Using the Moment… was not.

His eyes grew hot, and the Doctor felt a tear streak down his face. He wiped it away impatiently, but another followed, and another, until sobs shook his body.

Rose reached for him then, and despite his hurt confusion, he let her guide him until they were both lying down on the couch. She offered the comfort then that she’d withheld earlier, and he sank into the solace their bond provided, leaning on her strength.

His tears slowed gradually, and as they did, he realised Rose was whispering words of comfort and apology as she rubbed his back. He pulled back enough to look at her face, noticing the damp spot his tears had left on her shirt as he did so.

Rose was biting her lip and there were tears in her own eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, answering his unspoken question. “But I just thought… had you ever let yourself grieve, Doctor?”

A sharp retort sprung to his lips—of course he’d grieved. But his scratchy eyes and sore throat gave him pause. Had he ever allowed himself the release of tears?

She nodded. “That’s what I thought. An’ it’s not good to just hold all that in for so long. It was time to let it go, Doctor.”

This scene is so important. One of the reasons I ship the Doctor and Rose so hard is because I truly believe they are better together than they are apart. A big part of that for the Doctor is the way Rose helps him deal with his grief and guilt over the end of the Time War. She fell in love with him when he was still scarred and grieving, but that doesn’t mean she wants him to stay that way. 

From chapter 18:

Rose looked over his shoulder at the empty platform where Dalek Caan had been controlling the hybrids. “He’s falling through Time, Doctor. And he won’t escape unscathed.”

“Emergency temporal shift,” the Doctor told her. “It’s a rubbish way to travel, really—who knows where he’ll end up, or what it’ll do to him?”

Rose nodded absently. “It won’t be just his body this time though, Doctor,” she said. “It’s gonna tear his mind apart.”

The Doctor repressed a shiver. He could feel the timelines flowing around them, and he knew Dalek Caan had reminded Rose of something she’d seen when she was Bad Wolf. With an effort, he held back his questions—he didn’t really want to know how the last Dalek would play into their lives.

This gets back to the notion, established in that scene at the very end of TMMOT, that Rose’s time sense is occasionally more acute than the Doctor’s. There are key moments in their life together that she will feel more strongly when they happen. It’s a plot device I’ve tried not to overuse, but it’s something that makes a lot of sense to me since she literally saw all of time when she was Bad Wolf. And this is the first time it’s really used in the story.

From chapter 21:

The Doctor didn’t say a word as he sent the TARDIS into the Vortex. Rose tamped down her own building anger as best as she could; at least one of them should remain calm.

[...]

“And what’s your excuse for that stunt in the cathedral?” he asked, his voice biting.

“You said you needed to get Lazarus into the bell tower.”

“But I didn’t say I wanted you to act as bait!”

Rose took a deep breath and blew it out her nose. “Did you have another plan to get him up there?” she asked calmly.

The Doctor paced in front of their bed in his black trousers and unbuttoned dress shirt. “No,” he admitted finally, running his hand through his hair. 

[...]

“You promised you wouldn’t send me away again. Didn’t you mean it?”

His anger faded, and he ran his hands wearily over his face. “Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Rose walked towards him slowly until they were standing face to face, about three feet apart. “What’s this really about, Doctor?”

His hands dropped to his sides, and he sagged in defeat. “I just want to keep you safe.”

“We stick together as much as possible to keep each other safe, don’t we?” Rose watched his face, and when she thought he was softening, she reached for his hand. “And we don’t just stand aside watching when people are in trouble; we help.”

“I know,” he groaned, “but if you were hurt…”

“Says the man I’ve found unconscious three times this week,” Rose retorted. “Are you going to stop running into dangerous situations?”

He sighed. “No.”

“Then you can’t expect me to.”

“Expect, no,” he agreed. “Wish for…”

Rose chuckled wryly. “I know the feeling.”

The Doctor nodded, and she thought she’d finally made her point. He took her hand, and she went willingly into his arms, breathing in the comforting honey scent of his skin.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear.

Rose pressed a kiss to his collarbone. “You’re forgiven.” She rested her cheek against his chest, considering her next words. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said.

“I always feel safest when I’m with you.” His surprise rippled across their bond, and Rose tightened her arms around his waist. “Always,” she repeated firmly.

“But… why? How?” he asked. “I don’t try to find trouble, but somehow it seems like almost every trip ends in danger. How could you possibly feel safe with me?”

Rose took a half step back so she could look him in the eye. “Because you’re brilliant. When we’re in those situations, I know that if we’re going to get out of it, it’ll probably be because you figured out the magic secret that’ll solve everything.”

“Only if you haven’t figured it out first,” the Doctor interjected. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Rose—you’re brilliant too.”

“About time you noticed,” Rose said cheekily. “I’ve been saving your life since day one, and don’t you forget it.”

A small smile finally crept across his face. “How could I? A pink and yellow girl swings into my life on a chain, taking out the bad guys and sweeping me off my feet in one move. That’s not something I’ll ever forget.”

Rose undid the Doctor’s cufflinks and slid the shirt off his shoulders. “I also feel safe when I’m with you because… because you love me,” she said quietly. “I know you’ll always protect me if you can.” She tossed the shirt onto the bed, then pulled his vest over his head and threw that into the laundry. “Don’t you feel safe with me for the same reason?”

“Of course I do,” he said, his sincerity and conviction easing the little doubt she’d had.

Rose hung the Doctor’s shirt up in the wardrobe, then walked back to him and turned her back to him. He silently unzipped her dress, and that was soon hanging up as well.

“Then are you going to yell at me the next time I follow you into something dangerous?” Rose asked.

“No,” he promised.

It was part of his wedding vows, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. He’ll always hate watching Rose run into danger, and this will probably cause tension in their relationship occasionally for their entire lives. But this time, Rose really needed to lay it all out for him--why it wasn’t right for him to act like that, how hypocritical it is, and how wrong he is overall. 

From chapter 28:

John led Rose around the floor, loving the effortless way she moved. She smiled up at him, the beautiful, teasing smile that meant she had something up her sleeve.

“Do you remember how you asked me to dance, the very first time?” she asked in answer to his raised eyebrow.

He groaned, and a flush crept up the back of his neck. “That was not one of my better moments.”

“I don’t know,” she drawled. “When the gorgeous man who’s just saved your entire neighbourhood walks up to you, holds out his hand, asks you to dance, and then adds, ‘I’ve got the moves, but I wouldn’t want to boast,’ it makes an impression.”

Even two years later, John couldn’t fathom what had made him say something so audacious. “I suppose you did agree to dance with me, even after that ridiculous comment.”

Rose’s fingers played with the hair curling at the nape of his neck. “Well, to be honest, I’d been watching you for a while, hoping you might say something.”

John nearly stopped in the middle of the dance floor. “You what?” he said, his voice embarrassingly close to a squeak.

The natural pink in her cheeks deepened a little. “Yeah… I don’t know if you remember, but I was there that day—the day of the accident at the factory. I watched you and Captain Jack get everyone out before the fumes were too dangerous, and then take the chemicals into that abandoned hospital. We could hear the explosion where we waited, down by the river, and until the two of you showed up, we didn’t know if you were safe. You were… incredible, John.”

John gaped down at his Rose. “Well, as long as we’re sharing secrets,” he said, “I saw you that day too. Helping that boy who was looking for his mummy? You were so kind and gentle with him. So I found out your name and then wrangled an introduction that evening so I could dance with you.”

Rose ducked closer to him and hid her blushing face against his chest. John’s arms tightened around her, heedless of the raised eyebrows their embrace was garnering. He bent his head so his lips were nearly touching her ear and whispered, “I fell in love with you the moment you took my hand.”

The hand he held flexed, and he felt her sigh. “So did I.”

Perhaps this isn’t crucial to the overall plot, but the Human Nature arc is my favourite part of this whole story and I had to share something from it. I love this snippet from the dance, before the Family interrupts their romantic happiness. It was so much fun coming up with an AU version of their “how we met” story that the TARDIS could have given them. 

From chapter 30:

Timothy looked at the Doctor and Rose, and something in his gaze made the hairs stand up on the back of the Doctor’s neck. “The Doctor and Rose Tyler,” he said in a distant voice. “Together, you burn at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe. Even when the Wolf is silenced, your story will not be over.” His gaze sharpened. “You are… forever.”

The couple shared a startled glance. Neither of them had ever told anyone else about that word. “Timothy, you are brilliant,” the Doctor said sincerely. Rose gave him a hug, then joined Martha inside. “You’ll like this bit,” the Doctor told Tim, wishing he could see the look on the lad’s face when the ship dematerialised.

Rose watched the Doctor as he took the TARDIS into the vortex. The faint lines around his eyes and mouth and the tension in his body matched the anxiety he was projecting over the bond, and once he threw the dematerialisation lever, she took his hand and encouraged him to sit with her in the jump seat.

“What do you think Tim meant, about me being silenced?” she asked.

He sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. “I honestly don’t have a clue, Rose,” he told her. “Last night, before I faced the Family, he asked if I could hear you, howling for your mate. I told him the truth—I can always hear you.”

Rose pulled her sonic out of her pocket and after adjusting the settings, pointed it at the Doctor to dry him off. “Do you think something’s going to happen, and you won’t be able to?”

“Not possible,” the Doctor said flatly. “If even changing species couldn’t get rid of our bond, nothing can.”

Oh, Doctor. You should know better than to declare something so definitively.

From chapter 32:

[The Doctor] followed her into their room and turned down the covers while she fumbled through undressing as though she’d been up for two full, busy days. “How long have you felt like this, Rose?” he asked when she slowly pulled a nightgown over her head.

“Hmmm? Felt like what?” she asked as she crawled under the covers.

Real concern knit his brow then, but Rose was asleep before he could clarify the question. He fingered his sonic screwdriver and eventually did the most basic scan possible. It cleared the worst of his fears, and reassured that she wasn’t suffering from some fatal disease, he was able to strip out of his own clothes and stretch out beside her.

Normally, even in her sleep Rose would sense him joining her in bed and curl up against him, but tonight, she didn’t move. Wanting her to rest, the Doctor contented himself with taking her hand.

He sighed as he stared at up the boring ceiling. Stuck on Earth yet again, and judging by the information he had, it looked like they’d be here for a few months. Even though the transcript and photos didn’t confirm that the TARDIS found them, the Doctor had no doubt that the plan worked. Or would work. He rubbed at his forehead; tenses in time travel could be a real headache.

And all that would only be a minor inconvenience if it wasn’t becoming apparent that Rose was ill. The Doctor’s big Time Lord brain could occasionally be a curse, rather than a blessing, and tonight was one of those times, as he lay awake and pondered all the alien diseases she might have.

[...]

Rose groaned and rolled over when the sunlight hit her face, pulling the duvet over her head. She’d been asleep for… eight hours, she figured, but she felt like she hadn’t slept a wink.

“Rose?” the Doctor said. “How are you feeling, love?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a lorry,” Rose grumbled. “Lemme sleep.”

To her displeasure, he pulled the duvet out of her fingers and down over her face. “I wish I could, Rose, but I’m getting worried about how tired you are. I’d like to do some scans with the sonic, if that’s all right with you.”

[...]

The Doctor glanced at the sonic screwdriver, and his eyes widened. “Oh. Well. Oh. I guess that does make some sense.”

“What? What makes sense?” She peered over the Doctor’s shoulder, but couldn’t make heads nor tails of the results. “It’s decade lag, isn’t it?”

“In a manner of speaking,” the Doctor said, typically vague. “It’s the TARDIS.”

“What do you mean, it’s the TARDIS? She isn’t here.”

“And that’s the problem,” the Doctor agreed. “You and her… I have a feeling you’re more connected than she’s ever let on.”

Rose rubbed at her forehead. “Please, Doctor, just explain it to me. I’m too tired to follow your cryptic rambling today.” She felt badly when his shoulders slumped, but he was making her nervous and she just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Well. Remember when we met Donna? Or rather, why we met Donna?”

Almost a year had passed, but Rose quickly figured out what he meant. “You mean, the… hu— huon particles?”

“That’s right. Yours came from the heart of the TARDIS, and as long as you’re somewhat close to her, she helps hold them in stasis. When you aren’t together…”

Rose’s mouth went dry. “Doctor! You told Donna huon particles were deadly!”

“Oh no, love.”

The Doctor sent a wave of reassurance over the bond. After Rose relaxed, she realised the Doctor would have been much more upset if her life were at stake.

“Okay, so what is it then?”

“Huon particles take a tremendous amount of energy to maintain. When we’re at home, or at least close to her, the TARDIS lends you some of her energy. Without her…”

“I’m having to do all the work myself,” Rose finished. She sank back into her pillows. “So does that mean I’ll be tied to the TARDIS for the rest of my life? Not that I ever plan to leave, but what would happen if we were separated somehow?”

The Doctor nodded soberly. “I think we’re about to find out exactly what would happen.”

There are lots of reasons I decided to do this. The first is that it’s always a good idea to add a cost when you give a character extra-human power or knowledge. It keeps you from just using the power willy-nilly.

More specific to the story, I wanted a Rose-centric story for 1969. And I wanted a Rose-centric story where her personality would lead her to make a mistake. You know Rose Tyler. Do you think she’s going to listen to medical advice and take it easy for three whole months? No. She pushes herself past her endurance and ends up very sick with the flu... in 1969, before anti-viral meds. And with no access to the TARDIS.

From chapter 41:

[The Doctor] took a deep breath through his nose and tried to get himself under control. “Master, just calm down. Just look at what you’re doing. Just stop. If you could see yourself—”

“Oh, do excuse me,” the Master said to the television cameramen who were still filming. “Little bit of personal business. Back in a minute.” He looked at the guards holding the Doctor down. “Let him go.”

They shoved the Doctor down onto the floor. He pushed himself up and looked at the Master. “It’s that sound. The sound in your head. What if I could help?”

“Oh, how to shut him up?” The Master rolled his eyes and mimed talking with his hand. “I know!” He grinned widely and gestured to someone in the back of the room.

The Doctor heard a brief scuffle, and that combined with the sudden anger from Rose told him exactly what had happened. He tried to reach for her when she was pushed to the front of the room, but the guards grabbed his hands and held them behind his back.

“Did you really think I would let Rose Tyler go free?” The Master shook his head and tsked. “It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other, if you could misjudge me so badly. I’ve got your bond mate, Doctor. Your little human-Time Lord hybrid.” He twirled his laser screwdriver between his fingers. “If I remember correctly, you aren’t positive she’ll be able to regenerate. And—again, if memory serves—you aren’t too keen to find out.” His smile disappeared and he pointed the screwdriver at Rose. “Have you changed your mind?”

The Doctor seethed with rage, but he couldn’t do anything but shake his head. He wouldn’t risk Rose’s life.

The Master laughed. “Look at what Earth’s defender has been reduced to. Cowering on the floor, paralysed out of fear for his bond mate’s life.”

The look Rose gave the Doctor now was the same trusting, confident look he’d seen on her face when they’d stood in 10 Downing Street, faced with the choice to save the world at the possible cost of her life. It was a look which said she trusted him to do the right thing, to make the best choice.

He drew in a deep breath. When he’d developed his backup plan, he’d really hoped Rose would leave with Martha. Sentencing himself to a year in the gracious hospitality of the Master was one thing—leaving Rose in his hands for 366 days was entirely another.

So, Rose was on the Valiant during the Year That Never Was. Hmmm... 

From chapter 43:

“Can we skip the ‘previously on the Master and Rose’ bit and move on to today’s episode?” Rose asked impatiently.

Amusement lit the Master’s eyes. “As I was saying, I’ve been unable to break your bond. Your telepathic bond.”

He pulled a thin silver choker out of the box and attached it around Rose’s neck.

“Jewellery, Harry?” Rose asked. “I think my husband might get upset if I accept gifts like this from another man.”

“Your bond mate,” the Master said, irritation flashing in his eyes when she refused yet again to use the term in front of him, “won’t know any better. Not really.”

Rose straightened up and looked at the monitor. “What are you going to do to him?” she asked.

Concern flared over the bond. Rose tried to calm the Doctor with a promise that nothing was happening that was any worse than what she’d experienced so far, but that wasn’t a very reassuring thought.

“I don’t plan to do anything… to him.”

Rose wanted to hide her fear from the Doctor, but she knew he felt it. His own worry screamed at her over the bond, and she saw his hands clench into fists.

“As I was saying, I’ve discovered your bond is impossible to break. I can’t force him out of your mind, nor you out of his. But the bond makes you both stronger, and I really can’t have that.”

Despite the insolent tone she used to irritate the Master, Rose was becoming more scared by the minute. She looked at the television and tried to memorise every inch of the Doctor’s features.

I love you, she told him, hoping with every fibre of her being that this wouldn’t be her last chance to say it.

“What do you plan to do about it?” Rose asked.

The Master’s eyes glittered. “Oh, I was so hoping you would ask. Do you see this?” he asked, holding up a small remote. “This is the remote to the device I just placed on your neck—oh, and by the way, there’s an explosive wired into the latch, so don’t even think about taking it off, unless you want to lose your head.” He tilted his head. “I really don’t know if it’s possible to regenerate after being blown to bits.”

I love you, too, Rose.

Some of the tightness around her chest eased with the Doctor’s words, and she rolled her eyes at the Master. “And what does the blessed device do?” she asked. “You’re worse than all the villains on telly,” she told him matter-of-factly. “Nattering on about your plans, blah blah blah.”

“It’s a personal telepathic dampening field. And if I press this button—”

The Master pressed the red button, and Rose’s eyes slammed shut as pain seared through her mind. The bond was gone. Screams filled the room, but she ignored them as she frantically looked for the Doctor. She found the space where he should be in her mind, but instead of pulsing with the Doctor’s presence, it was dark—like a burned out lightbulb.

Her eyes flew to the CCTV to make sure the Doctor was still alive, and that was when she realised the diabolical genius of the Master’s plan. The Doctor was shouting and pounding on the walls, trying to get away from his prison. The sound was muted, but she could see him saying her name over and over.

He thought the Master had killed her.

I really love this whole story arc. The Master would do something truly heinous. Breaking the bond--making both of them feel the pain of a broken bond, and making the Doctor think she was dead--was the worst thing I could think of. The Doctor and Rose both come out of this year with PTSD related to this.

From chapter 46:

Francine pressed her lips together, but she couldn’t restrain a strangled sob. Rose reached for her slowly, pushing her hands down and knocking the gun to the floor.

Martha shoved past the Doctor to reach her mum, and Rose let her take over comforting Francine.

The Doctor released a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, and his knees went weak for a moment. He suspected he would be even more protective of Rose than usual for a while, until he got past the constant fear of losing her again. Rose smiled up at him, and he nodded slightly.

“You still haven’t answered the question,” the Master pointed out, interrupting their silent conversation. “What happens to me?”

The Doctor left the bridge. “I’m sure UNIT has a nice cell someplace where they can keep you, until your regenerations run out.” He crossed his arms and stared at the Master. “Their headquarters are located in the Tower of London, after all.”

“You’re just going to… lock me up?” the Master stammered, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

“What did you expect, Master?” the Doctor snapped. “An open hand and a welcome onto my ship, when you killed my wife?” He took a deep breath. “I won’t let you die when you’re the only other Gallifreyan in existence, but that doesn’t mean I have to let you be part of our life.”

The Master smirked. “That’s the only thing keeping you from doing it, isn’t it, Doctor?” He tipped his head back insolently. “You would kill me yourself for what I did to your precious Rose, if it wasn’t for the fact of my genetic code.”

“Oi, all you did was give me a fancy bit of jewellery,” Rose retorted. “Quit trying to rile the Doctor up.”

The Master’s gaze flickered over to Rose, and the Doctor bit back a laugh at the consternation in his eyes. He still didn’t speak, though, and the Master’s taunt lingered in the air between them, despite Rose’s attempt to dispel the tension.

Would he kill the Master, if it wouldn’t leave him once again the last of the Time Lords from Gallifrey? All the bitterness he’d kept locked down for the last year swirled through him, and there was a large part of him that wanted to kill the Master anyway.

Rose took his hand, and he jumped a little—it had been a long time since she’d been able to sneak up on him like that. But her hand in his gave him strength, just like it always did. He shook his head. “That’s not the way I do things.”

The gunshot took them all by surprise. The Doctor looked towards the sound and saw Lucy Saxon, pale, frightened, and angry, holding the gun Francine had discarded. His head swivelled in the opposite direction, just in time to watch the Master slump onto the deck.

“Put it down,” Jack ordered Lucy.

The Doctor walked over to the Master and knelt at his side. The Master’s face contorted in pain, his mouth working as he gasped for breath. “Always the women.”

“I didn’t see her,” the Doctor said truthfully.

“Are you happy now, Doctor?” The Master grunted. “You can watch me die, and you didn’t have to pull the trigger yourself.”

The Doctor frowned down at him, a little disturbed by how accurate that was. “You’re not dying,” he said curtly. “Don’t be stupid. It’s only a bullet. Just regenerate.”

Victory shone in the Master’s eyes. “No.”

Rose knelt down beside him. “Don’t you remember what I told you, Master?” The Master looked at her, but his eyes refused to focus. “It doesn’t need to be like this. You could come with us, and maybe eventually the Doctor could find a way to get the drums to stop.”

The Doctor bit back a protest. He did not want the Master anywhere near his TARDIS or his Rose.

But the Master didn’t seem inclined to take her up on the offer, anyway. “I didn’t want to spend the rest of my lives tied to you before; what makes you think I’ve changed my mind?”

“It’s only the two of you left, though,” Rose argued. “He’s got me, but the two of you have known each other for so long.”

The Master’s lips twisted into a pained, vindictive smile. “How about that? I win.” He grunted, and swallowed hard. “Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?” He drew one last rasping breath, then his eyes closed.

The Doctor stared down at the limp body in his arms. There was a time when the Master had been one of his closest friends, when his death would have sent him into shattering grief. Even a year ago, he would have been devastated to find another Time Lord, only to lose him again. But with Rose beside him and yet not in his head, the only thing the Doctor could think was that the person responsible for all the pain and anguish of the last five months was dead.

This is part one of the change in the Master’s arc. The idea that the Doctor would be broken up over losing him when he and Rose were still suffering the effects of what he’d done--because their bond isn’t back yet--just felt really... unlikely to me. I know they were great friends before, but if your best friend from high school kidnapped your spouse and made you think they were dead for three months, I think that would probably destroy what was left of your affection for them.

From chapter 47:

[Rose] tugged the Doctor down onto the couch beside her and handed him the sonic. “Take it off, Doctor,” she begged. “Please… I need…”

“Yes,” he whispered. “So do I.” He adjusted the setting and pointed the device at Rose. “Let’s see what kind of lock we’re dealing with first,” he said, scanning the collar. His face brightened when he saw the results. “Oh, that’s simple,” he said, his nimble fingers turning the controls.

The Doctor held the screwdriver up, then looked seriously at Rose. “Are you ready, love? This will probably be a little overwhelming—like getting your sight back after being blind for five months.”

Rose nodded her head quickly and took the Doctor’s free hand. “Don’t care. I’ll deal with it if it is.”

He nodded, then thumbed the control on the sonic. The lock popped open, and the Doctor dropped his tool to pull the collar off of her.

Rose’s head swam under the onslaught of thoughts and emotions sweeping over her. The TARDIS was humming joyfully, happy to have her Wolf and her Thief back where they belonged.

And the Doctor…

Their bond snapped back to life the moment the collar was removed, and she could feel every bit of love, and relief, and elation he felt at being reunited with her. His pain and anger over their forced separation were almost as potent, but Rose carefully directed his focus to the positive.

A strangled sob from the Doctor was the only warning she had before he hauled her into his arms and then stretched out on the couch with her lying beside him. A moment later, she felt a hesitant knocking in her mind, and Rose had to fight her own anger when she realised he was asking permission to enter. It was a purely symbolic gesture, but she hated the idea that he would doubt she wanted him.

Concentrating on the bond, she deepened their connection, letting her mind rest against his as closely as he held her physically. After five months without him, it felt slightly unnatural, like slipping into shoes that hadn’t been worn in a long time. But the relief from the emptiness they’d both felt so keenly more than made up for any temporary discomfort. Rose held him close, both physically and telepathically, and projected as much love and welcome as she could over the bond. The worst of the ache faded gradually, and they both sighed in relief at the realisation that they were truly together again.

When the swirl of emotions settled somewhat, Rose’s head was resting on the Doctor’s shoulder and his fingers were tangled in her hair. She tilted her head back and pressed a kiss to his Adam’s apple, followed by one to his jawline.

The Doctor hummed his approval, then shifted and tilted his head so her next kiss could reach his lips. Rose smiled at the silent request and ran a hand through his hair as she kissed him gently.

Together again at last.

From chapter 47:

She rarely paid much attention to her connection to the ship, usually taking it for granted, but today, she closed her eyes and focused on the gold thread that linked them. The image of a wolf howling came to mind, and Rose hummed her agreement.

“We are the Bad Wolf,” she whispered, then opened her eyes when the Doctor sucked in a breath. “What?”

He rubbed at his forehead. “I’ll never be fully comfortable with that,” he admitted. “Not that you have a closer connection with our ship than I do—that I honestly love. But the memory of what you did to bond with her, of what it did to you…”

Rose propped herself up on her elbow. “Is there anything of me in the TARDIS?” she wondered. “Like, she left the huon particles in me—is there anything of Rose in her? Or does this all go one way?”

“One way, and one time only,” the Doctor said firmly. “I see the ideas lurking in your mind, Rose Tyler, but please remember, merging with the TARDIS killed you once.”

Timelines shimmered around Rose. The Doctor was wrong. It wasn’t merging with the TARDIS that had killed her; it was taking in the Vortex. If one could be done without the other…

So, would it spoil too much to tell you this relates directly to what Rose does to save them on the Crucible in Forever and Never Apart?

From chapter 47/48:

When the flames had engulfed the Master’s body, the Doctor turned silently and they started to leave.

They’d only taken two steps away from the pyre when Rose stopped. The timelines were flowing around this moment so heavily they almost hummed. She remembered what the Doctor had said about key moments of her life resonating more because of her time as Bad Wolf, and she pulled her hand away from his and followed her instincts around to the other side of the pyre.

“What are you doing, Rose?”

“Doesn’t it seem odd to you, Doctor, that barely five minutes after you told him you knew better than to think he would ever purposely end his life, the Master did exactly that?”

“It was about finally beating me. He wanted to leave me alone,” the Doctor said, his earlier bitterness back.

Rose shook her head as she scanned the ground for… something. “Blowing up the rockets and making the Earth burn would have beaten you, too. He only chose to die when it was obvious he’d lost. It makes me wonder if he had a back-up plan in place.” She spotted something glinting on the ground and picked it up. “I wonder what this is.”

The Doctor came around to join her, and his eyes widened when he saw the ornate silver ring she held. “That’s a resurrection ring,” he said.

“Like in Harry Potter?”

“Sort of.” The Doctor took it and held it up to the firelight. “I thought those were only a myth. They should only be a myth.”

Rose looked at the circular Gallifreyan on the bezel of the ring. “And what does this definitely-not-a-myth do?”

“You leave an imprint on the ring of your identity, and it can be used to… well, not technically bring you back to life… more like create a clone of you, but one that shares all your memories and experiences.”

“It’s a horcrux,” Rose said flatly.

“Well… in a manner of speaking… yes.”

[...]

While Rose took a shower after breakfast, the Doctor moved the TARDIS so they were parked with a supernova just outside the doors. He’d promised her they’d dispose of the Master’s ring, and honestly, after the year they’d just been through, he was just as anxious to make sure his old enemy couldn’t come back.

Once they were in orbit around the dying star, he pushed the doors open and leaned against the doorjamb. He stared out at the stars and watched time swirl and eddy around them. Galaxies born, planets dying, stars going supernova—it was all driven by Time, the force that held the universe together and let it fall apart. The Time War had damaged the Web of Time extensively, but frayed as it was, this much remained.

The Master’s paradox had left ripples in the timelines that would take months or even years to smooth out. The ripples threw his time senses off, but something tugged at him, something about this supernova.

Unable to stand not knowing, he pushed off from the door and walked back to the console. “Why did you pick this supernova, old girl?” he muttered as he checked the coordinates. His eyebrows went up when he made the connection, but Rose appeared before he could say anything to the TARDIS.

She took his hand. “Ready?”

The Doctor pointed to the open doors. “Mount Doom awaits,” he told her. Rose laughed, and a smile tugged at the Doctor’s lips as he followed her to the door.

He pulled the ring out of his pocket and handed it to her. “I think you should have the honour. You were the one who found it, after all.”

Rose hefted the silver ring in her hand, then pitched it out into the mass of gaseous clouds. “Good riddance to bad rubbish,” she muttered as they watched it spin through the vacuum of space.

The Doctor stared, transfixed, as several timelines suddenly disappeared. He could only see shadowy glimpses of them—of a mad Master turning everyone into his clone, of something coming back that should remain lost, of his own painful regeneration—but what he saw was enough to make him grateful that Rose had found the ring.

Yes, I just undid End of Time. The Master will not come back, and without the Master, Rassilon and the Time Lords don’t have the connection of the drums to follow to bring Gallifrey back. 

The specials are getting a pretty major overhaul, actually. They’re really the story of a man going mad with grief, and that’s not who the Doctor is in this series. They don’t fit any longer. And isn’t that a wonderful thing?

[chocolatequeennk]

The Master vs Rose

This is an outtake from Time is Still A-Flying. Originally, the Master was going to try to turn Rose against the Doctor while the bond was broken. It’s an interesting idea, but it never really panned out for me as a writer, and in the end, I really prefer the idea that he quickly got bored with her and just left her in solitary confinement.

I do love Rose’s description of how the broken bond feels, though.

“Your Doctor won’t talk to me,” the Master told Rose one day, about a month after he’d fitted her with the telepathic dampening field. “He hasn’t said a word to me since the day after I blocked your bond.”

“Not the outcome you’d hoped for, Harry?” Rose drawled.

In answer, the skin tightened around the Master’s mouth.

“You know, if it bothers you that much, you could easily fix it,” Rose suggested, pointing to the collar around her neck.

“I haven’t asked,” he said. “How did it feel for you to lose the bond? I know what it would be like for a true Time Lord, but I have no idea how a hybrid like yourself would react.”

Rose knew he was needling her, knew he was trying to get a reaction from her because he’d been unable to get one from the Doctor, but the hated feeling of helplessness welled up inside her and she lashed out anyway.

“What do you want to hear, Harry? That it feels like you’ve carved out part of my brain with a hot poker? That even though it’s been a month, I still wake up every morning expecting him to be there? That I would give anything if I could actually feel how much he’s hurting, instead of just knowing it must be similar to how I feel?”

She was breathing heavily by the time she finished that little speech, an the Master beamed at her. “Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” he agreed. He leaned closer. “You know, this is all really the Doctor’s fault,” he said conversationally. “If he hadn’t brought you here, I would never have been able to do this.”

“Because you’d never put a collar like this on the Doctor, would you?” Rose guessed. “No way would you cut the Doctor off from your own reach—it has nothing to do with caring more about how losing his telepathy would affect him, you just don’t want to lose him yourself.” She eyed the other Time Lord. “You’re a bit obsessed,” she told him frankly.

The Master rolled his eyes. “Yes, please spare me your pathetic human psychoanalysis. As I was saying, you really can’t blame me for taking advantage of a weakness that was practically handed to me. The Doctor should have known what I would do, and he still brought you here.”

Rose bit back a smile. Is he actually trying to get me to blame the Doctor for this? Am I supposed to then turn my sympathies towards him, because at least… at least what, at least the Master didn’t bring me within reach of a psychopath?

“Is this the part where you tell me that if you’d been in the Doctor’s position, you would have taken better care of me?”

“Is this the part where you tell me that if you’d been in the Doctor’s position, you would have taken better care of me?”

Rose wanted to swallow her own words back into her mouth, but judging by the Master’s smile, he didn’t plan to punish her for them. “In fact, it is.” The door opened and a guard with a box in hand walked in and quickly scooped up the few personal items she had in the room. “Come with me, Rose Tyler.”

It was the first time she’d left her room in almost eight months, and seeing other parts of the ship almost left Rose feeling overstimulated. It was clearly the night cycle, which she guessed made sense—he couldn’t afford to let anyone else catch a glimpse of her, because if the Doctor found out she wasn’t actually dead, his entire plan would fall apart.

The Master led the way down a few corridors before opening another door. Rose blinked when she peered inside; the room was far more posh than anything else she’d seen on the Valiant. A carpeted floor, soft lighting, and what looked to be a very comfortable bed covered in a plush duvet and pillows.

“What’s this?”

“This is your new room. I want you to see that I’m not all bad. The situation between the Doctor and me is long-standing and complex, but I am capable of treating other people with dignity and respect.”

Rose started to ask where his dignity and respect had been when he had forced her to give up her wedding ring, or teased her with video of the Doctor suffering from shock. Then she looked at the room and decided to keep those thoughts to herself.

“There’s even a bathtub in the adjacent en suite,” the Master  pointed out, pushing the door open.

“Thank you,” Rose managed to say without choking.

He shrugged. “You’re going to be here for some time, but that doesn’t mean you need to be uncomfortable.”

Rose watched him leave, and had the sinking feeling that life was about to get much, much worse.

[chocolatequeennk]

Thank you

There’s something in my stats on ff.net that’s puzzled me for a while, and today it finally clicked for me and I’m feeling 1) incredibly dense, and 2) incredibly grateful. 

Time is Still A-Flying has eight more chapters than To Make Much of Time, but even if it has more visitors in a month than TMMOT, it almost never has more hits. Even this month, when I edited something in TISAF, putting it back on the front page, TMMOT still has more hits. 

And--here’s the dense part--I couldn’t figure out why. Mathematically, it doesn’t add up.

Today I realised that To Make Much of Time is a fic people reread. It’s apparently a fic a lot of people reread, on a regular basis. I’ve had individuals tell me they reread it frequently, and I’m always surprised and grateful. Apparently, I’m so surprised by it that I couldn’t look at obvious numerical evidence and realise that you’re not alone. 

Thank you everyone, so much. The Timelessness ‘verse as a whole is very special to me, and TMMOT itself has a unique place in my heart. That’s where I figured out what Bad Wolf!Rose looked like to me, how to handle the telepathy and how to write a bond, and how to show the Doctor and Rose as flawed individuals who have a healthy relationship. To know that you’ve embraced the story that means so much to me just...

I don’t have a way to thank every person who reads the story on an archive, but I know many of you loyal readers follow me here. So thank you. Thank you so much.

[chocolatequeennk]

So I noticed you write a lot of stories that change canon.... I've been thinking about writing a fic but I'm kinda nervous... and just wondered if you have tips for someone who wanted to write something like that? Anything new writers should know before I change something big? I don't want to make readers mad or anything! :o

That’s an excellent question, Nonny! I wrote a post about this last fall when I was working on Time is Still A-Flying, but I have a lot of thoughts on this topic.

There’s two stages of canon divergence, I think. There’s your point of departure--where does your story turn away from the canon storyline? And then there are the changes you make after that point. I’m guessing you’re talking more about the latter, so I’m going to focus on that. I’ll use examples from my own stories because I know why I made the choices I did.

Each change you make should affect the characters in some way. So your original point of departure sets them off in a different direction than canon took them, and the things they experience on this new path change them as people. Because they are different people, the next time your story intersects with canon, they might make different choices, which then give them more different experiences that change them even more. 

Basically, what I’m saying is that your version of the characters shouldn’t be constricted by what the canon version did. If what happened in canon doesn’t fit anymore, change it. Don’t go making big changes just because, without character motivation to back it up, but give your characters the freedom to be who they are now, not who they would have been if your entire story hadn’t happened. 

One example from Time is Not A-Flying is the Doctor’s demeanour when they meet the Daleks. The canon Doctor is, frankly, suicidal at this point. He’s lost Rose and he was already struggling to go on, and now he’s found out that he lost her for nothing. The Daleks survived, while he lost everything. 

That’s not true in an S3 rewrite with Rose. Rose is standing right beside him as he talks to the Daleks in Central Park. He’s not going to offer himself up as a sacrifice like he does in canon; it just doesn’t fit with who he is now. And yet, he needed to say something to get the Daleks to focus on him and hopefully leave the rest of the humans alone. 

“All right, so it’s my turn!” he shouted over the din. “What can I do to get you to stop attacking these people?”

The Dalek hovering over the group looked down on him, and the Doctor could almost feel its glee. “I will be the destroyer of our greatest enemy.”

“Well,” the Doctor drawled, shoving his hands into his pockets, “could we maybe discuss other options? Because frankly, I’d rather not die. Besides,” he added, “do you want to live in a world without me? I mean, what would the Daleks be without an arch enemy?”

It took me a long time to figure this scene out, because it’s so essential to the plot. But I wouldn’t leave it the way it was, and I’ve gotten lots of positive feedback on that change, because readers agree that the difference in situation lends itself to that change.

But... There are some changes I’m planning that I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about. I definitely understand where you’re coming from, Nonny. I’ve gone to @lastbluetardis, @rudennotgingr and @skyler10fic all on various occasions, asking them if they think people would hate me if I changed this thing.

For instance, I’m working on The Doctor’s Daughter segment of Forever and Never Apart right now, and a lot of the major conversations in this story are being rewritten with Rose instead of Donna. I know there will be people who feel like I’m pushing Donna to the side, and I’m nervous about the reaction that’s going to get. 

But I have to remember, this isn’t about which companion is more important. Certainly, in the canon-verse, all the companions were equally important to the Doctor when they travelled with them. In my universe, though, Rose is not a companion. She is his wife, and that does make her more important to him than anyone else he’s ever travelled with. 

It also means that conversations about their family should be between the Doctor and Rose, rather than Donna. Donna has her opinions on things and they get voiced frequently, but it makes much more sense for Rose to be the one who helps the Doctor accept Jenny as his daughter, rather than Donna. Again, it’s what makes the most sense for who the characters are now and the situation they’re in.

So, I have one final piece of advice. When you make a big change and you aren’t sure if people will like it, own it. Don’t start by apologising, or letting people see that you’re nervous. Present it like you are absolutely confident this is the best choice for this story. Most readers will be guided by your attitude. If you act like this change was questionable, they will question it. If you act like it’s the most logical choice, they will accept it.  

[chocolatequeennk]

@perfectlyrose 1) Thank you! I'm quite proud of this one. 2) You should catch up, because it's way worse when you've got the full build-up. But remember...

[chocolatequeennk]

Forever Reclaimed (Redux)

Nancy’s note: This is a remix of chapter 46 and 47 of Time is Still A-Flying. At some point during writing and editing, @lastbluetardis and I started talking about how the end of the story would have been different the Doctor hadn’t gone into the final confrontation with the Master knowing that Rose was alive. I gave Ashley the okay to write it, since 1) she’s one of my betas, and 2) she’s almost as familiar with the series as I am. 

She finished it today, and I loved it so much I have to share it with all of you. 

Ten x Rose, teen. Angst. Lots of angst. But then hurt/comfort.

Come on, reverse it. Please reverse it. Please…

The Doctor begged for the universe to listen, to give him back his wife, his bond mate, his best friend.

Timelines snapped back into place, with the last 366 days having been archived, for lack of a better term. All of it erased.

And yet the aching, clawing emptiness in his mind hadn’t been erased.

“No!” he shouted, grabbing at his head as he tried connecting once again to Rose. The only result was a searing, radiating pain that would’ve driven him to his knees if he hadn’t already been there. “No, no, NO!”

“The wife still dead then?”

The Master, though still pale and shaken from these latest turns of events, smiled smugly.

A hot chill of rage prickled down the Doctor’s spine as harsh and dissonant curse words spilled from his tongue.

“Ooh, did you pick up that language from your wife?” the Master taunted. “She really was quite feisty, I must admit. Too bad she had to die.”

“I want my wife,” he said through clenched teeth. “Where is she? I want to see my wife.”

“Doc.” The Doctor’s time senses grated, and between the empty wrongness in his head, he felt as though he could vomit if Jack came any closer. “Doc, you don’t want…”

“The hell I don’t,” the Doctor snarled. He turned away from his friend and turned to glare at the Master, still demanding to be given Rose’s body—his entire being recoiled at that word—and he was too focused on the Master to realize Lucy Saxon had disappeared from the room.

oOoOo

Rose paced the length of her room, still feeling dizzy and sick to her stomach. Timelines had shifted, disappeared, and reappeared so rapidly it had made her ill, and Rose wasn’t confident that she wouldn’t be sick again.

Something must have happened. The Doctor must have reversed the paradox after all, just like she knew he would. Now to wait until she was let out of her bloody cell, and she could find the Doctor and they could get rid of this bloody collar.

The door opened suddenly, revealing the ashen face of Lucy, who looked more clear-eyed than she had in the last six months.

“Come with me,” Lucy ordered.

Rose followed immediately, wanting to find the Doctor. She was led down corridors she hadn’t walked in a year, but she recognized she was being led to the deck of the ship. As they grew closer, Rose could hear voices, and she strained to pick out the Doctor’s, but for once, he wasn’t speaking.

“We kill him.”

“We execute him.”

There was no doubt about who they were talking about, and while she wouldn’t be particularly sad to see the Master dead, Rose didn’t want any of the Jones’s to fall to his level and dirty their conscious on behalf of someone like the Harry.

She pushed her legs faster towards the flight deck, waiting for the Doctor to stop them, to tell them they’re better than that. But nothing was forthcoming.

“Go on, do it!” the Master goaded. “Not even going to stay to watch, Doctor? Or would you like the honors? Eh? Death for a death?”

Rose’s heart sped up when she heard his voice for the first time in five months, spitting out curse words in Gallifreyan at the Master.

She rushed past Lucy and into the deck. Francine Jones had a gun in her hand, and had it trained on the Master, who was sitting on the floor, his eyes bright and as mad as ever.

The Doctor was turned away from her, away from the whole scene happening in front of them. Her heart broke when she realized he wasn’t going to stop Francine from killing the Master.

“Francine, you don’t want to do this,” Rose said calmly, walking towards the hysterical woman.

All heads whirled to face her, including the Doctor. She was vaguely aware that people were calling her name, but she didn’t pay them any attention. She met eyes with her bond mate, and she so desperately wanted to run to him and hold him tight, but first…

“Put the gun down, yeah?” Rose said. “You’re better than this. You’re better than him.”

“But all those things, they still happened because of him.” Francine’s voice wavered. “I saw them.”

Rose heard the Master goading Francine from behind her, but she refused to pay him any attention.

“You’re better than him,” Rose repeated, reaching out to lower the gun in Francine’s hands.

The hysterical woman dropped the gun, and now that Rose was satisfied that none of the Jones’s were in immediate danger of becoming murderers, she turned to her bond mate.

His face was pale and his eyes were blank, and he hadn’t said a thing or moved a muscle since she first glanced at him. She walked up to him carefully, as one might approach a spooked animal, and still the Doctor said nothing. He was beginning to scare her, and Rose was reminded back to the Master telling her of the neurotransmitter that Time Lords had to help them cope with shock. Was he going into shock?

“Doctor,” she whispered, reaching out to touch his hand. “Doctor, it’s me.”

She slipped her fingers through his, and exhaled in relief when he tightened his fingers around hers. She stepped closer and raised the hand not ensconced in his to trace her fingers across his face. His face was so thin and gaunt.

“It’s me,” she said, tears clogging her voice as he still said nothing. “Doctor, it’s me.”

A gunshot interrupted them, and Rose felt the Doctor jump as his hand tightened painfully around hers.

Rose wheeled around and saw the Master collapse on the floor, blood staining his shirt red, as Lucy stood holding a gun in her hand.

She spun back around to face the Master.

“Always the women,” he grunted. “Are you happy now, Doctor? You can watch me die, and you didn’t have to pull the trigger yourself.”

“Leave him alone, Harry,” Rose spat. “Just regenerate.”

Manic brightness widened his eyes as he said, “How about that? I win. Last of the Time Lords, Doctor. How does it feel?”

“He’s not the last, because he’ll always have me!” Rose snarled, despite knowing there was a difference between a Time Lord from Gallifrey, and a Time Lord like her, a hybrid, a mutant… Rose bit her lip as she tried to forcibly close off the memories of all the time the Master had called her that.

And it was quite easy when she turned back around to her Doctor and found him still frozen in place. She needed to get him to the TARDIS, where he could let his mind and body heal in peace. And hopefully they could get her blasted collar off.

“C’mon,” she said, as she watched the Master’s eyes close. They could come back for his body later, after they sorted out the Doctor’s shock and her collar. “Come with me, my Doctor.”

She took him by the hand and gave his fingers a little squeeze before leading him in the direction she remembered the TARDIS being a year and a day ago.

She saw their beautiful ship, and tears prickled her eyes when she couldn’t feel the ship’s warm, familiar hum in her mind.

The doors swung open as soon as they approached the ship, and Rose patted the ship in thanks, because neither of them had their keys.

Or their sonic screwdrivers.

Rose’s heart plummeted as she realized they couldn’t figure out how to undo her collar without their sonics to tell them exactly what the Master had done to booby-trap the lock.

The lights flickered and the ship chimed, and Rose saw a new sonic rise out of the console.

“Oh, thank you, dear,” Rose murmured, stroking the coral fondly.

She grabbed the new sonic screwdriver and turned to look at the Doctor.

He still hadn’t said anything and he was looking at her with wide, unfocused eyes. His jaw was tense and his eyes were trained on the collar around her neck.

“Doctor,” she whispered, walking up to him. “Doctor, it’s me. It’s me, love. It’s me. I promise, it’s me.”

“You died!” he choked out. His mind reached out for her, as it had been doing ever since he’d seen her step onto the flight deck, and he moaned as pain bloomed crimson behind his eyes. “I felt it! Can still feel it! You died! You’re gone!”

“Not gone,” she whispered, blinking away her tears. She reached up to cradle his cheek in hers, and she could’ve fallen to her knees in relief when he leaned into her touch and brought his hands up to cover hers. She stroked his cheekbone, and was suddenly reminded back to the end of their time in Farringham, and to Tim Latimer. “I’m not gone, just silenced. Only silenced, my Doctor. I’m here, love, I’m here.”

The Doctor choked on air before his arms were around her waist, pulling her as close as she could get, and she could hear his whimpers of pain as she assumed he tried connecting with her.

“Stop that,” she whispered, running her fingers through the soft hairs on the base of his neck. “Don’t hurt yourself, love.”

“You’re not here,” he sobbed, his aching mind ramming up against the emptiness in his mind as he frantically tried to find her half of their bond.

He was shaking in her arms as his tears dampened her neck, and she was torn between comforting him and pulling away so they could get the blasted collar off.

“C’mon, love, help me get this thing off, yeah?” she whispered, turning her head slightly to press her lips to his ear. “Please? I need to feel you. And the TARDIS. It’s so empty in my head, love, please. Help me.”

The Doctor inhaled raggedly and nodded, those two little words breaking through his hazy, incoherent mind. He took the new sonic from her hands and aimed it at the latch of her collar. He worked swiftly and silently, adjusting the settings until Rose felt the collar loosen around her throat.

“Ready?” he whispered. “It might be a bit overwhelming. I’m not… My head it’s… I don’t want to overwhelm you after you’ve been blinded for five months.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said firmly, grabbing the collar and tugging it off of her head.

She was instantly consumed. Her mind was bombarded with all of the Doctor’s anger and agony, and lingering just below was a desperate hope at having Rose back again.

“I’m here,” she murmured, tugging at that hope and deepening it, showing him that she was alive, and they were finally together again. Finally home.

A strangled sob escaped his throat, and it was the only warning Rose had before the Doctor hauled her into his arms and crushed her to him. His mind was a wild, tangled mess that not even Rose could sort through, and her heart ached for her Doctor, who had believed her well and truly dead for the last five months.

I couldn’t feel you when time reversed! He cried. I’d hoped the paradox would… But you weren’t… And I…

The Doctor’s chest heaved against hers as he sobbed in her arms, and Rose could tell the moment his mind started shutting down.

Let’s go to our room, Doctor, Rose suggested, and a telepathic nudge from the TARDIS told her the ship had moved their room closer.

Rose basked in the warm happiness the TARDIS was projecting, a comforting presence amidst the Doctor’s maelstrom of emotions.

Sorry. I’m sorry, he said when he caught that thought. Rose could feel the heaviness and reluctance in his mind just moments before he pulled his mind away from hers.

It’s okay, my Doctor, she soothed, urging him to stay where he was in her mind. Being bonded is to share the good, and the bad. She yearned to deepen their connection as completely as it could go, but she wanted to be laying down first. Let’s send the TARDIS into the Vortex. Then we can take as much time as we need.

They worked quickly and efficiently to send their ship into the Vortex, and Rose winced when she felt how taxing even that simple trip was for the TARDIS.

We’ll take care of you soon, dear, Rose promised.

The ship hummed in understanding, and Rose saw how worried the TARDIS was for the Doctor.

“Bed,” Rose announced, sliding her arm around his waist to steady him as he started swaying on his feet.

Together, they walked to their bedroom, and Rose could’ve cried at seeing the familiar room once more.

She helped the Doctor strip down to his pants, and Rose gladly kicked off her own tracksuit, before she crawled into bed with her Doctor. She rolled into his arms and held him as fiercely as he held her, and she could feel his mind slowing down as he finally gave into the exhaustion and shock of the day.

Sleep, my Doctor, she whispered. She carefully dove deeper into his mind, infusing it with as much love and warmth and reassurance as she could.

He pulled back from her, and blinked blearily at her, fighting his exhaustion. He traced his fingers across the planes of her face, before he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. His lips then moved to her cheeks, then to the tip of her nose, and finally to her lips.

Rose sighed at the contact and she wound her fingers through his hair as their lips met and parted tenderly.

I missed you, my Doctor. I missed you so much, love.

Oh, Rose. I thought you were dead!

I know, she murmured, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears as she felt his remembered agony. But I’m here, love.

Don’t leave me again, he begged, burying his face once more into her neck.

Rose sank her fingers into his hair. I won’t, Doctor. Not ever, she swore as she held onto him, trying to calm his wild emotions. Sleep now, Doctor. You’ve been fighting it for too long. Time to rest.

Rose caught a glimpse at his stubbornness, and she tried to get him to tell her why he was refusing sleep.

The Doctor reluctantly showed her his memories. Well, his memories of his dreams. Dreams where they had made it home and were together again and their bond was fixed… And when he woke up, alone and with an aching, empty mind, it was like he’d lost her all over again.

You’re not alone, my Doctor, Rose said firmly. This isn’t a dream. You’ll wake up, and I promise I’ll still be here. I promise.

Rose could tell the Doctor was still wary of succumbing to sleep, and so she deepened their connection even further, leaving reality behind altogether. She heard him gasp, before he gladly rested his mind as close to hers as it could get.

His negative emotions had quieted, somewhat. They were still there, but they were finally overshadowed by the immense love the Doctor was feeling.

I love you, my Rose, he murmured.

As I love you, my Doctor.

He hummed happily and finally let himself surrender to his exhaustion. His mind grew faint against hers, but the empty space in her mind was no longer empty. He was everywhere, just as he should be, and his mind hummed gently against hers as he fell asleep.

[chocolatequeennk]

So. I wrote the last scene of FANA. It was great. I loved it.

Then I happened to reread the last scene of TISAF. And the conversations are almost identical. Very different emotional tone, but the theme and resolution are the same.

So now I get to write another last scene of FANA.

[chocolatequeennk]

No wonder I’m tired

Yesterday, in the middle of trying to figure out the conclusion to FANA, I stopped to wonder how long I’ve been working on stories in the Timelessness ‘verse, and when my last break was. And this is what I figured out. 

August 2013: Started prelim work on TMMOT. Watching S2, researching regeneration and Time Lord biology, etc. 

September 2013: Started writing TMMOT. It was my holiday writing project when I spent five weeks in the UK. (You aren’t supposed to do Actual Work on Real Books without a work visa, but going a full month without writing was not happening. Hence, fanfic.)

I worked on it steadily until late spring on 2014, when I took a 3 month break from all writing after discovering my books were being pirated. 

PSA: Pirating books discourages authors. If you want more books, don’t steal them.

July 2014: I picked the rough draft back up and planned to finish during Camp NaNo. I think it was actually mid-August when I finished. 

September 2014-July 2015: Edited TMMOT. Published from Nov 14-Aug 15

June 2015: Wrote the rough draft of But Being Spent. Edited this story in August, published Aug-Oct. Also watched S3 to prep for writing TISAF.

July-mid Sept 2015: Wrote TISAF. Started editing in October, published Nov 15-Oct 16.

October 2016: Wrote The Most Wonderful Time of the Year and Hope is Where Forever Begins. Edited TMWTOTY in November to publish it in December. Also watched S4 to prep for FANA.

November 2016: Started writing FANA. My progress slowed down considerably when we were evicted at the end of the month, but I worked on it sporadically (without giving myself a purposeful break) through February of 2017.

December-January 2016: Wrote Taking Time, which was published in January and February. 

March 2017: Finished writing FANA. Began editing it in late April, published May 17-March 18. 

Which means I have not had an actual break from this series since spring of 2014. I’ve had a few weeks here and there where I let a draft rest before I edit, and there was the stretch at the beginning of 2017 where I wasn’t being overly productive for a lot of good reasons, but those aren’t the same as breaks. 

I have lived under a deadline since July 2015. I started back up with the notion that I would publish in November, and I worked hard towards that goal. I’ve been working hard towards goals ever since. 

So yeah. I’m tired. I still want to follow through on all my plans. I love them, theoretically. The idea of sitting down to write them makes me want to cry, because I’m just so tired. 

I have a vague idea in mind of when I’ll begin posting the story following FANA. I’m not telling anyone what that idea is. If I don’t feel up to writing when I need to start working on that draft to make it happen... no one will know but me. 

I just really need a break.