#send in blurbs! i love them

[dwntwn-strnlo]

ASK imagine coloring in matts tattoos ( anonymous )

★ blurb!

. . .

"sit still!" you laugh, pulling the red marker away from matts skin. "how can mez put permanent art on your body when you squirm so much!"

he giggles, smiling at you. "because mez doesn't make me all jittery." he runs his free hand soothingly up and down your back, wanting to pull you closer as you sit on his legs, but he restrains.

playfully rolling your eyes, you lean back down to his arm, and continue coloring in the light house. he flinches again the second it makes contact with your skin. "matt!" you tease through gritted teeth. "stop it before i hurt you!"

matt laughs, defensively pulling his head back, "im ticklish!"

"god youre such a pain." you smile, continuing to color his arm, filling it with every color possible.

[mariahcarreyyy]

Totally not thinking about coming home to lando and max passed out and you throw one of their shirts on and landos hand immediately grabbing one of your tits, totally not thinking it (this is what happens when I run out of melatonin gummies)

no yeah and im also totally not thinking about being sandwiched between them both after a long night out. your back pressed against lando's chest and max's chest against yours, his massive arms wrapping around you both. your eyes burn from the lack of sleep and just as they flutter shut, lando's hand sneaks inside the non-existent space where ur tits r being squished against max.

"lan?" you whisper as to not wake up the dutch.

the curly-haired boy only grumbles incoherently in his sleep, and you swallow thickly when he starts unconsiously kneading at your tits. arching your back slightly into his touch because they'd been in a bra the entire day and theyre sore and its so fucking relieving when lando massages them.

also totally not thinking about max parting your thighs with his knee while hes still asleep— because cmon its a comfortable sleeping position —with lan's thumb lazily rubbing circles on your nipple. Or how you'd start grinding on max's bare thighs till it put you asleep, like a weird ass horny lullaby.

[cozyjae]

traveling with nct 127 🏝

dream version

going to madrid with taeil...let’s you take the lead on where to go, will vibe anywhere, loves learning bits of spanish, lets you wear his leather jacket, carries around any of your shopping bags for you, keeps track of your passport and all of your tickets and important documents, somehow always knows where he’s going, holds your hand while he navigates through crowds, planned dates where he plays off the amount of effort he put into them, candle lit dinners, takes a lot of sunset pictures, always very cheesy but you love it.

going to athens with johnny... his camera is always around his neck, pausing you too many times to take a picture (and the occasionally sneaky candid), both of you wearing matching ‘i love greece’ tourist shirts that he insisted on buying at the airport gift shop and then begged you to wear, taking outfit of the day pictures, renting bikes to ride around town, afternoon picnicking, his arm around your shoulder as you walk the illuminated streets at night, asking an older tourist couple to take a photo of you at the parthenon, both of you smile widely as they take one and johnny asks for one more, quickly pressing his lips softly against your cheek.

going to paris with taeyong... his newfound determination to speak french, practicing french phrases on his phone in the morning in a low raspy voice, munching on expensive macaroons, visiting all the typical touristy places like the louvre & versailles, having 1,000 new photos on your camera roll, taeyong deleting pictures to take more of you, hotel balconies, warm baths together in the fancy hotel bathroom, fancy new perfumes, giggles in fancy restaurants, giggles everywhere, walking together to see the effile tower at night.

going to tokyo with yuta.. hiking until you complain but the reward for reaching the top of the mountain is kisses, feeding and petting wild deer, spending a lot of time outdoors, happiness while speaking japanese, watching old anime reruns at the hotel and staying up too late, going to a cat cafe and staying too long there playing with the kitties, buying too many souvenirs considering it’s his home country, going to local markets, buying street vendor onigiri and dango, visiting niche earring shops, he’s just always laughing.

going to london with doyoung... him making you take aesthetic photos of him, being really prepared, always checks the weather before he leaves the hotel, cheeks flush and he gets very red from one beer, leaning against your shoulder and cuddling you in the taxi home, wants to buy every single person he knows a souvenir, watching the buskers at night, likes keeping your hand in his always, gets stressed easily and then you relax him with kisses, will sing in the shower, will sing you to sleep if you ask nicely, quietly will request to be the little spoon. 

going to sicily with jaehyun... wine tasting, sun dresses, golden rings, making pasta at a small local restaruant together, he of course makes it a competition of who’s pasta is better, taking a ferry tour and making you do the titanic pose in front of other tourists, buys way too much gelato, touring museums and always taking cliche tourist photos, blazers, firm grips around your waist, you trying to pay attention to the tour guides but you’re too distracted by his gaze that’s only focused on you.

going to hawaii with jungwoo.. confident english, wearing lais, hiking waterfall trails to exercise but then going directly back to the resort and drinking a lot of smoothies, being obsessed with room service, a lot of playing around in the ocean, drinking from coconuts, he’s amazed at the smallest things, especially all the wildlife, peaceful and relaxing, gets shy when you look at him for too long, his face is slightly burnt, follows you around happily, buys a lot of hawaiian shirts, wants you to wear one, you probably will  do just to make him giggle.

going to vancouver with mark... giving you the personal mark lee childhood tour (your favorite) of vancouver, loud laughs along the streets at night, making him laugh too hard as he folds his body into yours, wide eyes paying attention to you always, thumb rubbing over your hand asking where you want to go, freaking out when it hits him he’s actually at his childhood home with you, taking you to all the places he used to eat at, letting you decide what you want to do, is always down for anything, he breaks out into laughter randomly, his excuse is just that he’s so happy, you roll your eyes but you secretly love it, will keep a hand on your thigh when sitting anywhere, his hands are always warm and always find their way to you, buys too much maple syrup to bring back for your friends. 

going to nyc with donghyuck... going to times square and making you take pictures with the pikachu and hello kitty mascots in the streets, wanting to try on the funniest and weirdest outfits you pick for each other in vintage stores, embarrassing you in public and him not caring that you’re embarrassed and will absolutely continue, makes weird faces at you from across a store, buys too much street vender food and candy, museum dates, gets very excited over fossils, you have a full blown photoshoot on a roof top bar with your fancy mixed drinks, is always excited, swings your interlocked hands back and forth and hums, he never gets tired and just wants to spend time with you always. 

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

My OC is a middle aged grizzled woman in the Wild West who’s hunting down the outlaws that caused the death of her husband and son. She meets a woman working at a bawdy house and begrudgingly lets her join her on the journey. A classic they help each other out and possibly find love on the way

Cheers and claps all around for these rough and tumble cowpokes!!!

[littlemissthunderstorms]

send fluff/domestic requests!! or love confession ones!

[bluebellhairpin]

I would love to have a horror/crime podcast but each episode is a made-up crime. Like all the stories are fake, but they're being told as if they really happened.

[adoringhaikyuu]

hii could i request more ushijima headcanons or fluff?

hi! i have a couple requests that include ushijima so those will be on the way eventually! but in the future specific scenarios are really helpful for requests <3

[owuwi]

okay so i have too many ideas and i've been writing about THREE different characters but i suddenly just... lost every ounce of inspiration i had so i'd appreciate if you could send any thoughts/requests 😭😭

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[jasntodds]

Does anyone, maybe, wanna send me some smut/nsfw concepts, please?? I’m writing a thing™️ but I have no ideas for that bit of it help lmao

[harrysonlylover]

Insatiable*

A mini filthy blurb.

WC: 1.1k

Warnings: unprotected sex, riding.

Harry is ascending to heaven, he’s sure of that.

He must be one of the lucky ones who were chosen to be blessed in their lifetime. He can’t quite remember what good deed he did to deserve this—but he’s not letting her get away.

His ears were ringing and he felt dizzy, almost lost himself for a hot minute before remembering to keep his eyes on her. It would be a shame to close them.

His eyes couldn’t get enough of staring at her perfect body, right in front of him.

“So fucking beautiful.” He panted, his hands frantically roaming her skin.

She only responded with a soft whine, trying to keep up and ignore the cramping in her legs. She needed his cock, needed to ride him, no matter how tiring. She wanted to show him that she’s his good girl and that she can work for his cock to earn it.

It was hitting her sweet spongy spot, daring her to fall against Harry’s chest and beg him to fuck her.

But no, she bounced like a good girl on his creamy cock that was shining with a mix of their juices. She felt like their lower bodies were on fire—the heat bubbling up in her core was euphoric.

“Pretty girl showing daddy how much she loves his cock.” He praised her, moving a few hair strands from her face, before patting her head.

Damn right, she loved it.

The sound of skin slapping and her soft whines had him rolling his eyes. But again—he couldn’t keep his eyes away for too long. Her breasts were in his face, jiggling with every bounce, begging him to knead them and have a taste.

He untied her hair allowing it to cascade down her back. He adored her hair and loved giving her head scratches but most importantly he craved pulling it while he thrusted into her from behind.

“Gonna light me up with how warm your pussy is baby.” His raspy voice wasn’t helping her neediness, after all, she was in desperate need of his cock.

“N—need it.” She managed to confess through ragged breathing. The view he had may be sinful but hers is sending her straight to hell.

He was laid back against the headboard, a hint of a grin spread across his pretty face. His beard was still covered in her cum from when he worshipped her earlier.

His hair, so messy from the tugging yet still curly. She couldn’t help but glance down at his chest, a line of sweat trailing down to his chiseled abs that contracted under the dim light.

Not only can she feel how wet and messy they are but she can also hear it. In fact, his pelvis was already coated.

His pupils were blown and his lips were slightly parted in awe. He raked his eyes quickly from where they were connected, watching her sink on his length, to her gorgeous face and chest.

But—he can’t quite forget the setup he made. He placed a tall mirror behind them, so he can glance at it and get a good view of her back and ass that was red.

“Is that all you got princess, hmm? Thought you were my good girl.” He landed a harsh slap on her already sensitive cheeks.

“I—am.” He swore that she almost cried right there and then. He knows how uncomfortable the position must be and still—she fastened her pace.

“Shhhh baby, just take my cock. It’ll help your greedy cunt to rest.” He mocked, not forgetting to degrade her for her sigh of relief once he pushed inside—it was like her cunt needed his cock to survive.

His hands roamed her back which arched when he purposely thrusted all of a sudden. Her head rolled backward as she clenched on his swollen cock. She was his fucking sex goddess.

He couldn’t stop exploring her back as his ears listened to her beautiful whines and whimpers. He initially mocked her, asking her if she was ovulating—but maybe her pussy is just made for his cock.

He could tell that she was starting to get tired, her forehead dropped against his as she panted and held eye contact with him. His hand rested on her ass, rubbing over the red skin.

“Poor bunny, got tired already?” She nodded quickly, slowing down her pace.

“Then I should make use of this hole, right?” His deep voice went straight to her core as she whispered ‘please Daddy.”

He really felt like passing out from how good she felt, so warm and wet. Just for him.

He dug his heels into the mattress and placed his hands on her bruised hips before grinning at her and thrusting inside her.

“Need to do everything for you.” His thrusts were rough, and she could feel him in her stomach. “Always have to fuck this cunt or else you’ll drool like a puppy in heat.” The degrading went through her brain, making her moan like crazy.

He was feral with his pounding, she knew that she’d be sore for days to come. But she also knew that he would kiss her pussy to ease the pain.

She already came twice, almost came for the third time from riding him but she couldn’t continue. With his current rough force, she won’t last long.

He was so raw and primal—his tongue nipped at her skin, just anywhere. She could feel his rapid heartbeats, the thickness of his swollen length pulsing inside her as he fucked her repeatedly.

And god—don’t even ask her about his naked body, how his thighs and pelvis would look right now, all wet and coated from her juices. If she wasn’t already wrecked—he’d ask her to clean it up with her tongue.

“Cum inside me.” She begged as she held his face in her hands.

“Yeah? Is that what you want? My hot load inside of your cunt?” He teased, giving her deep slow thrusts.

“Yes—Daddy.”

“Hmm, maybe that’ll tame your pussy.” He pulled her hair roughly, and the sting of her scalp combined with his creamy cock was enough to tip her over the edge.

She trembled on his length, nails digging into his skin as she moaned his name like a mantra. His orgasm followed hers in a few seconds, unable to resist the clenching and pulsing of her warm pussy.

His hot cum painted her walls white, prompting them to moan louder as they kissed. The feeling of his cum deep inside her was like nothing else.

“My baby, so good for me.” He held her against his chest, as he pressed kisses to her face.

Sweat adorned their bodies and the smell of sex filled the room. He rubbed soothing patterns on her back before whispering to remind her of the bubble bath they had to take.

She simply replied by leaving a peck on his lips, and moving herself again on his sensitive cock.

An insatiable little devil. ——————————————————

Kindly reblog if you liked it!

Taglist: @babegoals @hotnhardrrry @mattiehattuck1

[20-th-centurygirl]

nsfw alphabet

jude bellingham x reader

masterlist navigation

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

king of aftercare idc what anyone says. i think he loves showering with you in general bc it's soo intimate to him so he's always showering with you and helping you wash your hair :( he's also super touchy at the best of times but especially after sex he literally cannot take his hands off you.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

cannot decide if he's an ass or boobs man i think he's abit of both tbh. he loves resting his hands on your waist literally all the time. loves your thighs! always has a hand resting on your thigh when you're sitting down and loves leaving little bite marks and hickies on them 🤭 i also think he loves a lil belly pouch? idk how to explain it but i just think he absolutely adores a girl with curves.

on him i think his arms or thighs. he goes feral when he catches you staring at his biceps and always flexes them cause he knows it has you drooling. loves his thighs cause he knows how much you love riding them 😁😁

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves finishing in you. it just feels so intimate to him that you both trust eachother enough and it makes him feel so much closer to you.also loves finishing on your boobs or stomach then scooping his cum up with his fingers and making you lick it off 😋😋

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he loves middle of the night sex. it's always so much more intense and intimate and jude's always a little whinier

i also feel like he secretly wants you to take control but is too worried to ask. he's so dominant in every aspect of his life and i think sometimes he just wants his girl to take care of him :(

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he knows what he's doing but i also don't think he's super experienced? he doesn't seem the type to have loads of one night stands tbh. he's experienced but it still took him some time to figure out what was good for you

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

he's a man so ofc he loves abit of doggy but i also think he loves missionary. as basic as it is, it makes him feel closer to you and makes the whole experience more intimate for him. he's also not gonna say no to having you on top 🤭

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

honestly i think it depends. sometimes neither of you can stop giggling for no actual reason? one of you will let out a moan then both of you just burst out laughing.

but i think he's also super serious at times because he's always so busy and he wants to make the most out of time with his girl. he wants to savour every moment with you so stays super serious.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i think he keeps everything neat but not nare

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

so so intimate! i think he has a filthy mouth but he can't for the life of him be any level of degrading because he feels mean (he doesn't give a fuck about how mean he is when he's teasing though 🤭) so his comments are more praise.

i think he secretly loves that super cheesy romantic music rose petals and candles sex more than he'd ever admit. he doesn't get to spend alot of time with you so when he has you all to himself and a chance to show you just how much you mean to him you best believe he's gonna take it.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

loves facetiming you to get himself off when you're away. he doesn't usually do it at home bc you're there. but the real magic is mutual masturbation bc i think he's super into that 🤭🤭 (@judeswhore 's blurb on this is 10/10 btw) loves having you next to him with one leg over his touching himself. there's just something about it that sends him into overdrive.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise kink!! giving and receiving jude loveeesss praise. constantly telling you that you're his good girl and how well you're doing 🫠 but he also loves receiving praise. goes feral when you call him your good boy. will literally beg you to tell him how good he feels when he's fucking you

also has a raging size kink. he's massive and loves how small you look compared to him. has a thing for fucking you infront of a mirror so he gets to see the size difference between you both.

i also think he loves a risk. he is literally up for fucking you whenever wherever even if there's a chance of you being caught. i'm talking having a quickie in your childhood bedroom while your parents/siblings are literally downstairs. tells you to be a good girl and stay quiet or he'll stop. sometimes makes you suck on his fingers so you stay quiet 🤭

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

i think he loves your bedroom the most. as basic as it is, there's no interruptions and he can completely focus on you. however he does love to tease you in public just to hear you beg him to take you home so he can finish what he started.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

anything. literally something as simple as you putting on lip gloss or wearing something tight has his going wild.

n= no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that's gonna hurt you. i don't think he'd be into super degrading talk. like maybe a little bit but nothing too far.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i think he's 50/50. he loves to tease you and he knows he can do that when he's going down on you.

but i think he has a super sensitive dick 🙂 like the moment you have him in your mouth he's trying desperately not to just fall apart and cum instantly.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

also depends. after a bad game (him and refs never get along) he's super fast and rough but super clingy and affectionate after. but otherwise he's super slow and romantic and loves taking his time with you. sometimes you literally have to beg him to be rougher with you 🤭

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a quickie before he goes to training! he'll literally bend you over the kitchen worktops and make your head spin then kiss your neck, give you this really cocky smirk and tell you to be good and he'll do a proper job when he gets home.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes yes yes! he's always down to try new things bc he wants to make sure you're having the best sex of your life. i think he's into risks bc he loves the thrill but he doesn't really take any public risks because the chance of you being caught is super high and he doesn't want to cause you any embarrassment

s= stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he runs around for 90 mins, he's got good stamina and you're usually warn out way before him " c'mon baby. you gonna be a good girl and give me one more?"

t= toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

loves using them 🤭 i genuinely think he loves buying new ones he sees to try them out on both of you and you sometimes get new ones that you see too 🤭 just for a second imagine using a vibrator on him.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

biggest tease ever. he loveeess to drag everything out and mocks you a little bit when you get overstimulated 🤭

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud. he's not afraid to let you know how good you're making him feel by moaning, whining, whimpering and all that 😋

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

loves loves loves lingerie. like seeing you in pretty little matching sets literally drives him insane. he loves surprising you with new really expensive sets ( i'm talking agent provocateur stuff). he buys you some when he's away on international break and asks you to model them for him which always ends in the best phone sex ever

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

we've seen enough evidence, he's massive 🤭

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

the man is literally never satisfied. he's so completely obsessed with you and he just can't ever get enough.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he won't fall asleep until he knows you're 1000% okay and comfortable. once he knows you're doing okay and relaxed then he can sleep.

[harrysfolklore]

Could you do an insta blurb with Anna Paul as a face claim? <33

never give up - ln4

my first lando blurb !! i was really excited to write for him so let me know your thoughts about this or send requests !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and 4,836 others

yourinstagram starting the job of my dreams tomorrow 😭😭😭😭 see you soon bahrain 🏁

view all 190 comments

username1 omg congratulations ma friend !! ♥︎ by author

username2 all of those years of watching race cars finally paid off ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram now i’m going to be making tiktoks for them HOW IS LIFE REAL

username3 PLEASE FEED US WITH GOOD CONTENT

↳ yourinstagram your wish is my command 🫡🫡🫡

maxverstappen1 Please don’t make us do any kind of dance… ♥︎ by author

↳ maxfan1 HES ALREADY COMPLAINING HELP

↳ yourinstagram you don’t make that decision sir

username3 i believe in the f1 fan to working to f1 pipeline now

oscarpiastri Hello new best friend ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram HI BESTIEEEEE

↳ oscarfan1 counting on the oscar content

landonorris Welcome abroad 🥰 ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan1 whats with that emoji landoeeee

↳ yourinstagram i’m readyyyy

liked by yourinstagram, pierregasly and 338,504 others

lando.jpg touchdown in bahrain. @yourinstagram forced me to try matcha (awful experience)

view all 1,368 comments

landofan1 HE REMEMBERED THIS ACCOUT WE CHEER

oscarpiastri You’re a matcha girl at heart

↳ yourinstagram you’re so right my dearest pastry

↳ oscarfan1 LOVE THEM

landofan2 not lando being a matcha hater 😭

landofan3 yn in the last picture she’s so cuuuute

username1 lando posting a picture of yn 👀 i bet they’re dating

↳ landofan1 you must be new here lando posts literally everyone

maxverstappen1 I spot a Redbull jacket, thank you for picking favorites already @yourinstagram

↳ yourinstagram don’t flatter yourself okay. and tell checo i need both of you for rapid fire questions asap

↳ charles_leclerc I’m getting her ferrari red stuff soon

↳ lando.jpg she’s papaya heart, sorry losers

↳ username2 HEEELP😭

username3 looks like all the drivers get along with yn it’s so fun to see

georgerussell63 Why did you steal YN I needed to run something by her

↳ yourinstagram if by that you mean you need to know which one of your memes is going viral rn, check your messages

↳ username4 PLEASEEEEE 😭

username5 this comment section feels like a gc with all of them and i love it

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 20,736 others

yourinstagram tifosi for jeddah. let’s gooo @/charles_leclerc, @/olliebearman ❤️ and sending big hugs to mr smooth operator @/carlossainz55, hope you recover sooooonnn

view all 466 comments

username1 SLAYYYY

charlesfan1 YAAS YN IS ON OUR SIDEEE

username2 such a cool jacket omg ♥︎ by author

scuderiaferrari We’re all Tifosi at heart 🙌

↳ yourinstagram love you ferrari admin

landofan1 i know lando won’t be happy

olliebearman Love you 🫶🫶🫶 ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 AWEEEE OLLIE

iamrebeccad 😍 ♥︎ by author

alexandrasaintmleux Ferrari girls >>> 🥰 ♥︎ by author

↳ charlesfan1 i love the ferrari wags sm

landofan2 lando complaining in 3..2..1

landonorris It’s always tifosi or gives you wings but never papaya

↳ oscarpiastri Ouch

↳ yourinstagram top cry babies of the grid: the mclaren boys

↳ landofan1 😭😭😭😭😭

↳ danielricciardo Can you blame them? They’re like 7 ♥︎ by author, georgerussell63, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55

↳ landonorris Can’t hear the haters

maxverstappen1 And who got double podium?

↳ yourinstagram you’re so annoying omg

↳ maxfan1 HEEEELP

liked by yourinstagram, landofan1 and 58,624 others

f1gossip Lando Norris enjoys Australia with mystery woman ahead of the Grand Prix this weekend

view all 409 comments

landofan1 HEEELP

landofan2 my brother in christ that’s yn

username1 mystery woman 😂😂 @/yourinstagram

landofan3 iconic duo

landofan4 i’m going to say what everyone is thinking: i ship them

↳ landofan1 HEEEELP

username2 we need the teaaaaaaa

yourinstagram i wonder who could that be ♥︎ landonorris

↳ username1 so mysterious

yourinstagram why does this look like i’m showing you receipts of something shady that you did @landonorris

↳ landonorris You look so done with my lies lol

↳ landofan2 WHAT ARE YALL DOING HERE

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 49,846 others

yourinstagram AND THAT'S A WIN FOR THE SMOOTH OPERATOR AFTER THE OPERATION ‼️ congratulations carlitosss, don't let the papaya fool you, i was rooting for you

view all 422 comments

username1 LETS GOOO

username2 this is such a cool picture ♥︎ by author

mclaren Our papaya heart just broke 💔

↳ yourinstagram NOOOOO

scuderiaferrari FORZA FERRARI ❤️

↳ yourinstagram YAAAS

username3 she really has the coolest job in the world

landofan1 lando finally made her wear papaya 😭 ♥︎ by author

landonorris I was in the podium too, you know?

↳ charles_leclerc Me too

↳ yourinstagram did you win?

↳ landofan2 CLOCK THEM

iamrebeccad 😍😍😍 ♥︎ by author

lilyzneimer Beautyyy

↳ yourinstagram PICTURE CREDITS TO BABY LILY !!

carlossainz55 The smooth operation 💪 ♥︎ by author

↳ landonorris I'm getting my apendix removed

↳ yourinstagram DO NOT

liked by yourinstagram, danielricciardo and 689,462 others

landonorris australia was nice :)

view all 3,045 comments

landofan1 BABYYYYY

landofan2 LANDOOOO THE LAST PIC

username1 yn what are you doing here

carlossainz55 Why don't you post a picture of my win?

↳ landofan1 😭😭😭

↳ yourinstagram bc i'm prettier ♥︎ by author

oscarpiastri Australia: the best country in the world

↳ yourinstagram you're australia's treasure 👐

landofan3 POSTING YN??? ON MAIN??

↳ landofan1 bestiesss

↳ landofan2 i had to double check this was actually his main

username2 he's in love with yn

georgerussell33 crushcrushcrush

↳ username1 he's so strange

yourinstagram i like being each other's personal photographers

↳ landofan1 SOOOO YN TOOK LANDO'S PICS

↳ landofan3 they're in love

liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri and 632,099 others

landonorris i didn't get that podium but i did get you some spam

view all 3,102 comments

landofan1 BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

username1 when will lando nowins ends

landofan2 YN AGAIN?????

mclaren 🧡

danielricciardo Is this a YN fan account? ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram IT SO IS RIGHT

↳ landonorris Can't hear the haters

username2 it's so obvious that those two are in a relationship

↳ landofan1 don't be weird they're friends and yn kinda works for them

↳ landofan2 to be fair yn doesn't really work for the drivers, she works for the f1 pr team

carlossainz55 👀

↳ landofan1 WHAT DO YOU KNOW

yourinstagram thank you for the night walk and the pic buddyyyy ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan1 NOT BUDDY HELP

↳ username1 even i felt hurt by that friendzone

↳ landofan2 lando was found crying

liked by olliebearman, landonorris and 58,264 others

yourinstagram one moth living the dream life while having the dream job 🥺 let’s go shangai 🇨🇳

view all 501 comments

username1 im so jealous rn

username2 teach me your ways

lewishamilton 🖤 ♥︎ by author

maxfan1 REDBULL JACKET SLAY

landofan1 lando crying over the redbull gear soon

username3 traveling the world befriending the drivers and getting free merch this is really THE DREAM ♥︎ by author

lilyzneimer 💙 the bestttt!

↳ yourinstagram i literally lysm baby lily

↳ oscarpiastri Stop stealing my girlfriend from me thank you

↳ yourinstagram the mclaren boys being cry babies, exhibit B

alex_albon Why am I missing from the third pic?

↳ georgerussell63 We we’re gossiping about you ♥︎ by author, oscarpiastri, landonorris, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1

↳ yourinstagram exactly

username4 how does it feel to live my dream

maxverstappen1 Great great jacket

↳ landonorris i’m burning it

↳ landofan1 HEEEELP 😭

landonorris Best season so far 🫶🫶🫶 ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan2 LANDOOOOOO????

↳ landofan3 he’s down bad awe

liked by landonorris, yourinstagram and 159,635 others

mclaren A very special guest joins the papaya garage today 🧡 #MiamiGP

tagged: yourinstagram

view all 7,937 comments

landofan1 AHHHHH

username1 WAG vibes

landofan2 since when does lando have access to the mclaren acc

username2 she looks amazing

lilyzneimer 🫶🫶🫶

↳ mclaren Our other fave 🙌

↳ landofan2 mclaren hyping their wags up so trueeeee

redbullracing Give her back

↳ username1 the girls are fighting

↳ mclaren Never

landonorris 😍😍😍😍 ♥︎ by yourinstagram

↳ landofan1 CONTROL IT

↳ landofan2 JUST KISS HER YOU FOOL

yourinstagram GO PAPAYA BOYS 🧡🧡

↳ landonorris boy*

↳ oscarpiastri Cry cry cry

↳ landofan3 IM YELLING 😭😭😭

liked by yourinstagram, danielricciardo and 3,122,342 others

landonorris WWE FUCKING DID IT. P1 🏆

view all 49,687 comments

landofan1 IM STILL SOBBING WTF

landofan2 HE DID IT LITTLE LANDO NORRIS DID ITTTT

oscarpiastri Well done man 👏👏👏 ♥︎ by author

alex_albon Congrats!!! 💪👏 ♥︎ by author

mclaren PROUD 🧡🧡🧡

username1 this man is going to party like an animal tonight

landofan3 whoever or whatever put a fire on his ass to win THANK YOU

maxverstappen1 You had a great motivation to win. Congrats 👏 ♥︎ by author

↳ username2 HUUUUUH

lewishamilton WELL DONE ♥︎ by author

yourinstagram IM STILL CRYING 😭😭😭

↳ maxverstappen1 Because now you’ll have to go out with him? THIS COMMENT IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE

↳ landofan1 MAX WTF WE ALL SAW THAT

yourinstagram CONGRATULATIONS LAN 🧡🧡🧡 ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan2 when the camera focused on her after lando crossed the line 😩😩 my delusional ass is living

↳ username1 these two will be a thing before the season ends

↳ landonorris My good luck charm ❤️

↳ landofan3 LANDO DONT DO THIS TO ME

liked by landofan1, landofan2 and 16,936 others

f1gossip Lando Norris get cozy with mysterious woman after Miami GP win

view all 209 comments

landofan1 OMFGGGG

landofan2 CAUGHT IN 4K

username1 who is thissssss

landofan3 IF THIS IS NOT YN I DONT WANT IT

username2 wbk he’s always wildinggggg

landofan4 guys i think this is yn???? she posted stories celebrating with lando

↳ landofan1 omg i don’t want to be delusional

↳ landofan2 AND REMEMBER MAX DELETED COMMENT ????

landofan5 can somebody from the grid spill the beans about his

↳ landofan1 george where are you ?????

liked by yourinstagram, pierregasly and 1,390,180 others

landonorris I’ll remember this forever. Thank you everyone ❤️

view all 10,252 comments

landofan1 AHHHH

landofan2 THE SECOND PIC HELLO????

mclaren We always believed in you 🧡

landofan3 THATS LITERALLY YN IN THE SECOND PIC

oscarpiastri I bet this was your favorite weekend ever ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan1 WHAT DO YOU KNOW

georgerussell63 You finally convinced her?

↳ landonorris And did

↳ landofan2 WTF LET ME IN???? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

landofan4 LANYN IS REAL 😭😭😭😭

username1 yn is no better than me i would also fall for lando norris

landofan5 SEE YN WAS THE GIRL WITH HIM IN MIAMI

lewishamilton Did I miss something?

↳ georgerussell63 If you only checked your phone

↳ username2 HEEEELP

landofan6 SO THIS IS SO YN 😭 i really hope they’re together

maxverstappen1 Two things you had been waiting for: the win and the girl ♥︎ by author

↳ maxfan1 MAX HAS NO FILTER I CANT

↳ landofan1 SO THEY’RE TOGETHER

↳ landonorris 🥰

yourinstagram 🧡 ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 THATS ALL??? GIRL ADRESS THE RUMORS

↳ landofan1 GIVE US SOMETHING

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 76,398 others

yourinstagram imola, monaco, montreal 🤍

view all 503 comments

username1 forever jealous of your life

landofan1 A LOT OF LANDO HERE OMGGG

username2 the second pic, is she dating anyone? 👀

↳ landofan2 lando so true

georgerussell63 You're welcome for the Hello Kitty face mask ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 OF COURSE george would have hello kitty face masks

↳ yourinstagram thank u georgie

landofan3 this is basically a lando appreciation post ♥︎ by author

username3 i sense a soft launch

landofan4 landoyn is sooooo alive

mclaren Our favorite 🧡

lilyzneimer 🤩 ♥︎ by author

oscarpiastri Thank you for the tiktok tips?

↳ yourinstagram you think those were for free? you owe me dinner

maxverstappen1 Why there is no Redbull on this collage?

↳ yourinstagram you and checo have been pissing me off lately

↳ maxfan1 HEEEEELP

scuderiaferrari Some red in sight ❤️

↳ yourinstagram as it should

landonorris so pretty 😍 ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram you talking about yourself?

↳ landonorris nope 😍

↳ landofan1 STOOOOOOOP THIS

liked by daniel3.jpg, yourinstagram and 348,922 others

lando.jpg happy :)

view all 5,039 comments

landofan1 AHHHHHH

landofan2 I JUMPED FROM MY SPOT

username1 wbk they're together

oscaspiastri Cuties

oscarpiastri Lily wrote the previous comment, not me

↳ oscarfan1 HEEEEELP

↳ yourisntagram this is why she's my favorite

landofan3 THIS REALLY CONFIRMS THEY'RE TOGETHER

username3 what if they're not together and everyone is just clowning 😭😭

carlossainz55 I've been replaced

↳ landofan1 HEEEELP

↳ landofan2 CARLANDO FOREVER

yourinstagram 🧡 ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 stop it with the orange hearts SAY SOMETHING

liked by landonorris, olliebearman and 103,827 others

yourinstagram paps hard launched us before i could do it, but here’s our official instagram debut i guess 🧡

view all 2,099 comments

username1 AHHH FINALLY

username2 you've come a long way girl, from fan to working for f1 to dating a driver ♥︎ by author

landofan1 I KNEW ITTT I KNEW ITT

georgerussell63 We had been plotting this since you first met, btw ♥︎ by landonorris, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1

↳ yourinstagram nosy bitches !!

↳ username1 HEEEEELP 😭

mclaren OUR PRAYERS HAD BEEN ANSWERED 🤩🤩🧡

↳ landofan2 the mclaren admin is soooo me

↳ yourinstagram stop mclaren admin im blushing

username3 slayest couple of the paddock already

oscarpiastri What happened to "my job comes first"?

↳ landonorris Mate do you want her to break up with me or something

↳ landofan1 😭😭😭😭

lilyzneimer Papaya girls stick together 💕 ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 queens of mclaren

↳ alexandrasaintmleux :(((

↳ yourinstagram i literally lysm alex

landonorris my girl my girl my girl my girl ❤️ ♥︎ by author

↳ maxverstappen1 We get it

↳ landonorris you're jealous bc she'll never wear redbull anymore

↳ yourinstagram 🥴🥴

liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 1,092,388 others

landonorris Never back down never what? Never give up

view all 15,390 comments

landofan1 YELLING

landofan2 I CANTTTT

username1 i want what they have

olliebearman ❤️

mclaren Our parents 🧡

↳ landofan1 its me im actually the mclaren admin

danielricciardo YN blink twice if you need help

↳ georgerussell63 She just did I'm next to her

↳ landonorris Can't hear the haters

↳ landofan2 😭😭😭

username2 i need yn's manifestation methods

landofan4 THE HAND PLACEMENTS ???? LANDO' SMILE ?????

maxverstappen1 Poor girl

↳ maxfan1 LEAVE HIM ALONEEE

carlossainz55 My biggest condolences @/yourinstagram

↳ landofan1 they grid has one mission today and that is to attack lando

yourinstagram 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 ♥︎ by author

yourinstagtam leave my baby alone assholes @/danielricciardo @/georgerussell63 @/maxverstappen1 @/carlossainz55

↳ carlossainz55 Don't baby him even more

↳ georgerussell63 cAnT hEar ThE hAtErS

↳ landonorris my girl my girl 😍

[the-faceless-bride]

I can't remember where I saw it but I remember reading this blurb about being a 'mukbanger' kinda YouTuber in a world with monsters, where you are in an area where humans aren't very common and so you just eat on camera in hopes a human finds it and feels less lonely like you do, but monsters find it and say something like 'nice costume where did you get it?' And once you say it's not and you are a human nit a monster and now you have a flood of monsters coming to you, and sending you money, sending you monster recipes to try etc. And it got makes me so obsessed with the idea.

I would love see more or maybe even write about this, reader making all these monster recipes and trying them and all these monsters just imagining being in a relationship with them, cooking and eating with them. And also go wild at the size difference because the foods you make are almost the size of your head because monster foods and proportions are so much bigger than humans.

I'm not normal.

[floralcyanide]

ᴜʟᴛʀᴀᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ― ᴀʀᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴀʟᴅsᴏɴ

sugar daddy!art donaldson x afab!sugar baby!reader (nsfw)

a short introduction to you and art's relationship.

⤳ warnings: smut, unprotected sex, mutual orgasm, penetrative sex, age gap (reader is mid 20s)

⤳ word count: 0.4k

⤳ author’s note: I have been struggling to write anything for weeks now and this sorta poured out of me. it's not much but I think I may make this into a blurb series. maybe. idk yet. I'm sorry it's definitely not what y'all wanted or expected. it's not for me either, but I think if I don't do the blurb series, this will be the beginning of my hiatus for now. much love!

masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

Art had ripped off the cute outfit he had picked out for you in a pinch, and it hadn’t even been on for more than ten minutes. Today at practice, he had tentatively braided your hair into two plaits after the rubber band holding your ponytail snapped clean off. Now, he’s gripping them with fervor as he slams into you from behind. Your ass is up in the air with your back arched as perfectly as you can muster despite your sore muscles from earlier. The mix of your pleasure seeping out of you as Art pounds into your welcoming cunt echoes in the room, along with the front of his thighs smacking the backs of yours.

“Just like that,” he leans down to growl in your ear, “Such a good girl for me, hmm? You like me pulling your hair like this?”

You nod, whimpering an incoherent response as you’re delirious from the feeling of Art driving his cock into you. It’s hard to form words at this point. Art chuckles cockily, shoving your face down into the very mattress that he sleeps on every night with his wife. This fact doesn’t slip far from your mind the entire evening or didn’t every evening before this. Tashi, however, didn’t care. As long as you and Art focus on your aspiring tennis career, you can do as you please at the end of the day. Tashi saw herself in you. And after all, there had been an agreement. Art would care for you in numerous ways as long as you played tennis and were coached by him and Tashi. Everything was fine this way and has been for a little while.

Art lands a harsh smack to your right asscheek before gripping it to ground his thoughts, driving himself deeper inside your fluttering walls until he eventually hits your cervix. You elicit a sharp cry at the feeling of unbridled pleasure at the sensation, causing Art to repeat his exact motion over and over until you cum around him, your orgasm washing over you in violent waves. Art finally cums shortly after as the feeling of you losing control underneath him sends him over the edge. You lay on your stomach on the bed, catching your breath as your eyes are heavily shut and unwilling to open. Art runs a hand down your back soothingly, giving you a moment while he pads to the bathroom to retrieve something to clean you up with. 

You still can’t get entirely used to someone taking care of you like this. And for now, you’re going to relish it to its full extent. 

[ddejavvu]

wait your new hotch blurb got me thinking what about they got secretly married and everyone knows that hotch is married they just don’t know it’s to bau!reader because he seemed very genuine in the wanting privacy so (after complaining) they respected that, and maybe one of the team members sees hotch and bau!reader kissing in the hallway of a hotel or something and confront him about cheating on his wife

"How could you cheat on your wife?"

Penelope's harsh, degrading accusation hits Aaron directly in the chest, through the layers of stoicism that he's come to forge over the years of working in criminal investigation and straight to his heart.

All Hotch can manage is a, "What?", and Penelope's eyes dim further.

"Don't do that, Hotch. I saw you. I saw you and Y/N kissing in your office. How could you do that to your wife?"

She looks so crestfallen that Aaron's chest actually aches, so unprepared to see the famously bubbly Penelope Garcia close to tears. Close to tears because of him, no less.

Aaron might have chosen his words more carefully if he hadn't been so startled by Penelope's unusual devastation, but his jumbled brain forgoes its job and his mouth takes over, uttering the thoughtless statement, "That's- that's what she's there for."

And in his mind, it's true, if not the complete truth. You are there for him to kiss, you're there to be kissed and loved and appreciated and cherished, but he's momentarily forgotten that Penelope doesn't know that you and his mystery wife are the same person, and his words so easily warp into possessiveness and disregard.

Her face contorts into a mixture of disgust and rage that could take out a serial killer, and he seriously considers recruiting her as Chief Lecturer of the BAU, "Hotch? How- how could you say that? That your wife is just- just some thing to wait on you while you run off with someone else? You- Aaron, I can't believe you, I thought you were better than that!"

She tries storming away, tears budding in her eyes but Aaron catches her elbow, ignoring the way she flails and squirms at his touch.

"Let go of me!" She tearily demands, but he grabs her by the other arm now, holding both of her shoulders.

"No, Penelope, listen-" He tries, reminding himself to send her to Derek later for a self-defense lesson, because the weak shoves that she's pushing at his chest with do very little.

"No! No, I'm tired of listening to men," She shrieks, "You were supposed to be better than that, Aaron! I trusted you, you were supposed to be the kind of man that I could admire, and- but you're not! You're just like the rest of them, you're some egotistical, possessive, heavy-handed, domineering son of a-!"

"Y/N is my wife." Aaron cuts her off, his voice slightly raised, but not harsh. Never harsh, not to the sniffling mess of ruffles and glitter in his arms that handed him her resume on pink stationary all those years ago.

She falls silent, finally, but her lips still tremble. Aaron squeezes her arms tighter, not rough but comforting, "Y/N is my wife. We married privately late last year. We kept it secret for safety reasons, but I'll admit we didn't need to hide it from all of you. I was not cheating on my wife, I would never-" He thinks momentarily of Haley, of the gut-wrenching sound of her cell phone ringing with a call she wasn't brave enough to answer in front of him, "I would never do that to Y/N."

It's a lot of new information to process, and Aaron grants Penelope all the time she needs to work through it. When her red-stained lips part again she breathes, "You married Y/N?"

"I did." Aaron nods, and though it's not the time to smile, he can't help that a ghostly one flits over his features at the mere thought of the day he'd married you, "I'll show you pictures when we're done here. Penelope, you can trust me. I don't blame you for accusing me- in fact, I'm glad that you did. I'm glad that your loyalty isn't blind. But Y/N is my wife, and that's why I kissed her."

A very wobbly, "Oh." Is all that Penelope can manage, and she sniffles again, staring at his tie rather than his face as he holds her steady in the hallway. He's glad that they've both shown up early for the day, but you're due to return with coffee for the three of you any minute now, and he offers her his pocket square to wipe beneath her eyes.

"You said-" She chokes out sheepishly, voice unsteady as she smears the tears off of her cheeks, "You said you have pictures?"

That's how you find them when you return, seated on the couch in his office peering down at his phone. You have to set the tray you'd been carrying down on Aaron's desktop before you can properly greet either of them, but you're immediately alarmed by the tears streaked over Garcia's cheeks when she stands to face you.

"You-" She starts, not giving you a second to speak, "-are a rat! You got married," She gushes, and Aaron chuckles deeply from beside her, standing and pocketing his phone.

"You got married to our boss, and you told me nothing," She hisses, but slumps so easily into your chest for a hug that you're more than willing to give her.

"I'm sorry, Penny," You gush, squeezing her tight, "We just- we were worried about safety. The more people we told, the more dangerous it would become, so we didn't share it with anyone. But- but we should have told the team, I know."

She sniffles and you draw back to pick up her drink from behind you, sugary and pink and topped with a thick layer of whipped cream, "I got you a drink. Forgive me?"

"Reluctantly," She tries scowling, but she's never been very good at it. She takes the drink from you huffily, jamming the straw inside and taking a drag at the thick liquid. It's barely nine in the morning, far too early for the concoction she's sipping, but she nods after she draws back from the straw.

"This is delicious," She decides, "And you two are traitors, and I'm telling everyone about this."

"You should," Aaron laughs, stepping up behind you to press his shoulder to your own. It's comforting just having him there, and you relax against him as Penelope takes her leave.

"I mean it," She warns, wiping another stray tear from her cheek and sipping at her strawberry drink, "I'm telling everyone. I'm- I'm gonna hire some guy to fly a plane over the city, and the banner is gonna say, 'Y//N Y/L/N and Aaron Hotchner got married without me'."

"That's fair," You nod, not bothering to bite back a grin as she lingers in the doorway of Aaron's office.

"And so help me god," She narrows her eyes at you, once more falling just short of intimidating, "If you try to take some extended-sick-leave time, and I find out you're hiding a pregnancy from me? No amount of frappuccinos in the world will make up for it!"

"Noted," You call out as she leaves, and Aaron's hand comes up to press against the near-indiscernible bulge of your belly before the door even clicks shut.

"She's good." Aaron observes, and you reach for your own non-caffeinated drink with a grin that's hard to drink through.

"Let's tell her about the baby at lunch," You propose, "I think she's more than earned a secret to keep."