#self-inflicted dismemberment

[lemonerix]

I was thinking about the nations' healing abilities and ik they've definitely lost a limb or two in their lifetimes.

headcanon below the cut (cw: dismemberment and decomposition talk)

there's three types of injury that can befall a nation:

an attack on the actual landmass/people = long lasting injuries, wounds eventually heal but will take a long time, and can manifest as a sickness sometimes

an attack on the personification's physical body by another personification = heals relatively quick, but has long lasting effects, and permanent scars, self inflicted wounds also belong to this category

an attack on the personification's physical body by regular humans = short term injuries, no scars, no lasting effects

resurrection is a normal occurrence too, as long as a nation is a nation, they'll be fine.

dismembered country body parts tend to decompose faster than normal, so it's best to bury it or burn it to keep diseases at bay.

the acceleration of decomposition is probably because of the nations' special property that keeps living things that's in close proximity to them most of the time semi immortal, so when a limb disconnects from the body, it essentially makes up for the time it wasn't aging.

[fantasy-relax]

Sweet alpha Dangerous Omega

Part 1 Part 3. Part 4

Warning : mention of suicidal thoughts and self harm.

Cassandra Dimitrescu, the most fearsome of Lady Dimitrescu's three daughters, a hopeless sadist, who inflicted unimaginable tortures without any remorse, a hunter whose prey never escaped unharmed, a cruel and merciless monster whose subgender was a mystery.

Some said that she was an alpha, an example of why it was unnatural for a woman to have this subgender, they ended up crazy so it was a mercy that they died during the presentation.

Others said she was a beta, a damaged woman who simply had the fortune to be chosen by the Dark God.

Those who worked in the castle said that Lady Cassandra was an omega, whoever heard tremendous idiocy laughed out loud. The fact that someone like her had the sweetest and most submissive of subgenders was something impossible, hilarious even to think about;  It was the theory that was said in a bar purely as a joke.

But it was the absolute truth.  Cassandra don't hide her subgender , people just don't believe it

The new maids doubted the fact, taking it as a joke that was told to the newbies, but it was undeniable that under the aroma of blood was the aroma of chocolate, roses and the distinguishable universal touch that identified the omegas.

Despite the obvious evidence, there was no shortage of excuses, they said that the smell of chocolate was due to the youngest's taste for sweets, who often hugged her sisters, and that the smell of roses was the matriarch's mark of protection.

Only when the week of heat arrived did they accept the truth.

If they arrived.

Cassandra's period of heat was once every three months and lasted a whole week, the brunette was very easy to make angry but the days before her heat was much worse, for the slightest mistake a maid received corporal punishment and if Daniela or Bela, gave her the slightest complaint Cassandra will gladly make an example of what happened if they messed with her family.

The week it happened was the calm before the storm, the entire family slept in the brunette's room, with the head maid delivering the food personally.

When it was over was when the staff had to be careful because the sadistic daughter went from whiping , bruises and superficial cuts to breaking bones, dismemberment and any torture she wanted.

A nightmare.

The only ones who were safe were the omega maids in charge of cleaning the room.  The omegas in the castle were few, a dozen at most who had decided to go to work in the castle ironically for protection, mostly adults or close to old age.

Cassandra did not scare them or bother them when they worked, at most she rolled her eyes when they looked at her without hiding the compassion and pity in her eyes, even when they had the nerve to release comfort pheromones the brunette only growled at them and walked away.

No shouting or threats.

She just leave.

Because of this the beta and omega maids tended to be on bad terms.

Most betas did not understand or refused to understand a universal fact:

-An omega's heat period was a blessing with company and a curse without it-

It was horrible;  It was screaming for affection and love, it was being trapped in a contradiction because you were looking for the warmth that would save you from the abominable winter that was inside your chest at the same time that you wanted caresses that would calm the hell burning on your skin;  Your emotions were amplified, transforming a tear into a cry that destroyed your throat.

For an omega who had already reached maturity to be without a partner was something non-existent; those who lived in a castle had a mate inside or outside of it.  While biology leaned more towards an alpha, it was not unusual for a beta to manage to court an omega and go through heat with her.  If they performed their tasks perfectly they were allowed to return home during heat, otherwise or by their own decision they were given suppressants to avoid this.

Every omega who has had the misfortune of spending a period of heat without a mate and without suppressants knew well that it was one of the worst tortures you could subject them to.

And Lady Cassandra has spent them alone. For who knows how many years.

Because of this, while the human side of the maids could hate and fear the hunter, the animal part of their conscience cried for her and instinctively tried to console her, a consolation that the brunette repudiated but did not respond with violence.

-------------—-----------------------------

Cassandra was curled up in her mother's lap, who was gently caressing her head while her sisters hugged her from the sides. The three of them released pheromones to calm her down. However, it was in vain. The brunette made grunts of pain and frustration. Her pheromones had an acidic smell, barely a day had passed since she had returned to the castle and she could no longer bear the demands of her stupid omega.

"Missing, the nest is incomplete!"

"We have clothes from our entire pack!"

On her bed was a mix of blankets and pillows from her sisters, a shawl from her mother, the cleanest fabric from her Uncle Moreau, her uncle Karl's coat, a sweater from her Aunt Donna along with a dress from Angie and one of (grandmother) Miranda's togas.

"Not of the alpha who courted us! Alpha did her part we must answer!"

"That pathetic alpha has nothing to give us!"

"She gave us a bed full of trophies from her victories!"

"Prey we can hunt blindfolded and with one hand behind our back!"

"She brought us fresh meat from our favorite animal!"

"She didn't even know we like venison and the food was simple!"

"She pleased us despite her fatigue!"

" Not completely! "

"Because we leave! "

"That cabin is falling apart!"

"And alpha is there alone! She should be here where we can take care of her! Where she can pamper us and finish the mating!

"I'm not going to mate with her!"

"I want a mate! I want that alpha!"

"We are fine like this!"

"NO!"

Cassandra hugged herself, her grunts were transforming to soft whimpers.

"My brave little wolf, you're okay, mom is here"

"You're strong Cass and it will pass."

"I love you Cassie, you're not alone."

I don't want my mother!  I don't want my older sister!  I don't want my little sister!  I WANT MY ALPHA!

"Cassandra stop!"

Alcina held the hands of her daughter who had begun to scratch herself frantically while she burst into sobs that broke her heart.  Daniela had been kicked off the bed before Bela could restrain the brunette.  Cassandra was so hysterical that she didn't even try to transform into her swarm, however a few flies came out of her body fluttering aimlessly.

Daniela got up quickly, looking helplessly at the state her sister was in, purring as loudly as she could, she approached her, hugging her stomach.

"Mother, Cass has never been like this before."  The eldest daughter commented with surprise, her sister's condition was worsening, it seemed that her reason was fading, how she wished that the suppressants would work but due to her mutation, the effect of the medications was short because her body adapted or burned them with speed.

"Maybe we should bring her what she wants." Bela looked from her to the matriarch who quickly understood what she was referring to.

Alcina was about to veto the idea but the heartbreaking cry of her daughter silenced her complaint.  She was no longer moving frantically, but her whole body was shaking and her crying did not stop. The lady got up and her daughters quickly settled in. Bela hugged Cassandra from behind, purring softly but maintaining her grip for fear that she would hurt herself again. Daniela continued hugging her sister's stomach without stopping the noise coming from her chest.

"I'll be back soon my loves" With a sigh Alcina started towards the cabin of a pathetic alpha.

-------------—-----------------------------

How long have you been like this?

Minutes, hours or days?

You did not know.

It was cold and your whole body hurt, yet you didn't have any energy to move.  You were just waiting for the Lycan or beast to break through your traps and end your suffering.

"We did everything right, we gave her a nest"

"Very small, she couldn't even stretch her legs"

"We show our skill when hunting to give her fresh meat"

"Without enough spices to give it flavor or vegetables to give it more nutrition"

"We fulfilled her wishes"

"If we had done it she would have stayed"

"....Did we fail?"

"As usual"

There was a dying animal nearby, someone should put it out of its misery, its afflicted cry echoed in your head.

Oh.

It was you.

-------------------------------------------

The image Lady Dimitrescu expected to see was of a perverted alpha committing unseemly acts with the clothing her beloved daughter had left behind.

In her place she found a woman despondent in a ruined bed, Cassandra's lingering scent now was accompanied by one that caused her inner beta to frown in maternal concern that she vehemently suppressed.

-------------------------------------------

There was someone at the door.  You looked askance at who would be your executioner, Lady Alcina Dimitrescu.  Maybe she would have heard about you and come to kill you to make a special wine with your blood.

At least that's what you'd be good for.

Noticing how she couldn't enter due to her immense height, you decided to help her, standing on trembling legs without letting go of the omega's shirt, you went to her.

-------------------------------------------

How strange, Alcina thought that she would have to exercise self-control to not kill you for taking advantage of her dear daughter, now having you in front of her she has to exercise self-control to avoid hugging you and giving you comfort.

Your face was pale, your lips were blue from the cold, your eyes were sunken and every piece of exposed skin was covered by scars, you could barely stand, the smell of dry and fresh blood reached the vampire's nose.  Even so, you kept your arms around Cassandra's shirt as if it were the raft that held you in the middle of a turbulent sea.

Alcina snorted, you were a peasant, without money or prestige you were not worthy of being Cassandra's companion.  However, her beta accepted you as a candidate, you knew her pup for just two days and her absence had left you on the verge of death.

That kind of devotion was worth more than hundreds of bags of gold.

Grabbing you by the neck and keeping you away from her body, Acina carried you to her home.

She rolled her eyes at the nod of approval that her beta gave when she saw how you held the shirt tightly.

----------------------------------------

You kept your face hidden in the omega's clothes, wanting to memorize the scent even after death.

You didn't notice when you arrived at the castle, you only raised your head as you entered a particular hallway, there was a scent that you recognized well.

The Omega.

Had she been captured?  Or had her family sold her after finding out what you had done with her?

No matter the reason you had to rescue her, you moved frantically but the woman did not give up her grip on you and she continued moving towards the room where the smell was stronger.

Misery and loneliness, the girl had been calling for you while you were drowning in your own pity.

Pathetic.

You continued trying to free yourself, growling with all the aggression you had, your alpha was determined to fight and you were willing to sacrifice yourself to give the omega a chance to escape.

The door to the room opened and a swarm covered your vision.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Bela watched with curiosity as Cassandra went from being distressed to a state of alert in just a moment.  Her sister looked at the door with curiosity and longing for a few seconds before letting out a happy chirp to transform into her swarm as soon as it opened.

Hmm, she no longer had a doubt, Cassandra was completely immersed in her instincts, the animal side of her was the one in control, something that while it was common for them, it had been decades since she had seen Cassandra act like that.

When her mother released you Cassandra quickly transported you to her nest, placing herself on top of you purring contently as she rubbed herself all over your body, confusion covered your face but you responded with your own purr.

Interesting.

-------------------------------------------

Oh okay.  It seems that the Omega you saved is none other than one of the Dimitrescu.

She is out of your reach.

But...Then why did she is acting like this?

"Forget about that, we must do our duty"

True, the poor thing had a bad time being away from you, it was your duty to give her comfort, affection and pleasure.

You won't fail this time.

-------------—-----------------------------

"Mine, mine, mine"

Finally she would have a mate, one who was hardworking, persevering, capable of violence and gentleness.

Her sweet alpha would be hers forever and no one, not even herself, would stop it.

[venusararara]

OK babes let's talk about what Gatherine does when she has a bratty/noncompliant captive ♡

Gatherine is unlikely to keep a captive like this alive for long in the first place, but she IS likely to be extra hard on them for the duration of their life (1-2 days). She's liable to keep you if you start behaving after she starts the torture, though. She will probably forgive you.

TW for torture themes

☆ she usually begins with tearing all of your piercings out, in order of how painful she thinks it'll be.

☆ she also inflicts new piercings sometimes! Her go-tos are septum, genital, and nipple piercings. She will not allow them to heal.

☆ then she strips you nude and turns the A/C way, WAY down.

☆ she also only feeds you cold foods and drinks, at least until you lose your appetite.

☆ 43 degrees Fahrenheit if you're a mortal, 37 if you're a monster, and 30 if you're an angel.

☆ low temps are based on the lowest survivable temperature Dawsin suggests for each species, valhallia runs around 60 degrees and the surface runs around 97 degrees. Infernum runs around 132 degrees, so she doesn't have to turn down the A/C on the off chance she has a demon victim.

☆ she wears a cute winter coat when she comes to torture you, though.

☆ then begins vivisection and early dismemberment.

☆ puts past victim's cigarettes out on your open wounds.

☆ biting.

☆ cutting fingers and toes off with hedge clippers.

☆ cuts the spaces between your ribs, webbing between your fingers and toes.

☆ fingers your wounds, deepening them.

☆ blowtorches your ears/domewings.

☆ she may amputate your legs, though unlikely because she's not a massive fan of full-on amputating a limb. She wants you to be able to be self-sufficient if you learn to behave so she can keep you forever. It's not like she doesn't like you anymore.

☆ likes to go for bloodless torture like beatings and whatnot, but she's aware that those are considered less effective than the threat of losing a body part or being burned.

☆ last is solitary confinement.

☆ she turns off all of the lights and leaves you naked and cold.

☆ she stops visiting and feeding you.

☆ she will not appear again until you're completely silent for more than 12 hours, as she is checking to see if you're dead or not.

☆ might give you a sip of water if she likes you.

☆ if this all fails, she'll make you fight her for your life.

☆ she gets a knife, you don't.

☆ she'll play with you for a minute, giving you some hope that you'll win, before she rips it away and genuinely kills you.

☆ she gets bored pretty quick and guts you within 5 minutes of starting the "fight", it's pretty clear who the victor will be though (since you haven't eaten in a while).

☆ Gatherine will preserve one of your smaller body parts in a jar as something to remember you by.

[canned-and-carbonated-emotions]

So chimps are absolute fucking menaces right? We can all fundamentally agree on that? Hell, I don't think I would call them menaces cuz that term holds at least a sprinkle of endearment.

No, they are straight fucking villains. Just absolute evil guys. Their flavor of pettiness is acts of terrorism.

Y'know what their favorite act of revenge is? Dismemberment. Wanna know how they resolve conflict? Dismemberment. How do they express their feelings? Dismemberment.

They'll see their bro get a sweet treat, and once they realize they don't also get a sweet treat, their jealousy changes the chemistry in their brain and they go from a super intelligent and emotionally complex creature with a deep sense of self awareness, to a fucking wasp with hands that hold the power of a thousand speeding trains, focused on the sole desire to destroy.

They are also CALCULATED with the way they attack. They consciously pick out the areas on your body to maime based on the criteria of what will cause the most physical AND emotional pain.

They don't wanna kill you and move on. No. They want you to HURT. They wanna inflict straight ouchies.

Now, is this chimp slander? No, of course not. Chimps are fucking cool. They're so smart with complex societal structures that they experience and feel a variety of deep emotions. They're not mindless killing machines.

This whole rant is just to remind to to stay the fuck away from chimps. Like at all costs. There are dozens of other primates out there that aren't going to perform a live autopsy on someone over a birthday cake (which actually happened btw, look up "St. James David Chimpanzee attack")

Chimpanzees are wild animals with free will, and while I don't think any primate or intelligent creature should be held in captivity, chimps DEFINETLY shouldn't be kept in captivity, cuz they have free will and they like to use it for violence. Plus, they're sentient and emotionally intelligent and don't deserve to be put in little prisons for the satisfaction of their naked cousins.

He's a good guy, but he would eat your fucking face :)

[toxictoad]

(This is about my OC so feel free to ignore this)

Dawn is a secret clone of Anakin Skywalker

Palpatine created him after the rise of the Empire (Because psychologically tormenting Vader is the only fun he has)

I'm thinking that Vader actually likes him as a kid because his head is just so genuinely fucked up in his early years in the Empire that he can sort of pretend that Dawn is his kid. He never says it out loud because of the constant surveillance but he calls him "Luke" in his head (Granted, not even his head is safe from Palpy but like neither of them say anything because Vader is in denial and Palpy is playing the long game of "What is the maximum emotional pain I can inflict on this man")

Dawn has the fast aging thing like the Fett clones but I imagine that he ages normally from ~20 physical years on because I said so. He doesn't have a name at first and I'm torn between giving him some serial number (I'm thinking some fucked up reference like A-66 or something similar) or just having everyone call him "boy" and similar not-names.

I think as Vader sees him growing up so fast he goes from projecting his lost baby onto him to fucking HATING Dawn because he's becoming more and more like Anakin and if I know anything about Darth Vader it's that he hates himself (There will definitely be an arm getting cut off at some point because the only thing better than self-hatred is self-hatred + dismemberment)

I have no idea what I want Dawn's role in the Empire to be. I kind of want him to be a pseudo-inquisitor who's basically an assassin who takes out rebels. It's sort of cringey but I'm thinking that they nickname him "The Empire's Wrath" Or something of the sort.

It would be Palpy reminding Vader that he can be replaced (I'm thinking that he has backup clones and that maybe Dawn isn't even the first one which would be SO angsty because then Vader has repeatedly projected his dead child onto these clones and they all ended up dying UGH it's so SAD)

Basically Dawn exists to make Anakin suffer for the rest of his miserable life no matter what.

BUT as for Dawn himself he's just the saddest fucker ever. The thing is that he doesn't KNOW that he's a clone of Darth Vader.

So from his perspective it's like this; He is a child who grows up on Star Destroyers. Vader is kinda nice to him but the Emperor is the regular torture-happy asshat he always is. He learns how to be a fun-sized Sith and how to kill people good. THEN Vader just starts fucking hating him for no apparent reason and CUTS HIS ARM OFF. So he gets a wicked mechno-arm but everything still sucks, and he gets sent out to kill people and it's like "Well this might as well happen"

Dawn isn't as powerful as Anakin or Vader but he's still pretty fuckin good. He isn't as impulsive or as emotional as Anakin because he mostly just shuts down when faced with any significant amount of feelings (Trauma response yay) and he obviously has a different force signature. In my head he's like a blue giant star while Anakin is a supernova and Vader is like a black hole.

And THEN the Empire falls (I want Dawn to be on the second Death Star and escape somehow, but I'm not sure exactly how). I think he's going to end up on Endor and see his first sunrise and that's how he names himself. I will also make him "borrow" a starfighter to do adventures with.

I need some force ghosts to show up and give him hints to put together that he's a clone of Vader, but that could happen at any point after this.

I'm kinda stuck here because it could go in so many different directions: Do I want him to go on a solo journey of self-actualization and have him see a shit ton of force ghosts and learn about Anakin and become a weird kind-of-Jedi? Do I want him to end up with Luke and Leia and become their weird ex-murdery Dad/Uncle/Brother? Do I want him to get in with the Mandolorians and fuck around there and have Bo-Katan freak out? DO I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING?

Anyway I really like Dawn he's one of my favorite OCs right now. Also I have a scene in mind where Anakin's force ghost appears to him and Dawn is like "Damn I'm kinda hot tho" but I had no place to put that in this post.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Television - Marquee Moon

Punk was barely learning to crawl when Television decided to transcend the genre. Marquee Moon takes elements of the punk rock sound and twists it into something more elaborate. With twin guitar parts hard panned left and right, and the lead playing trill heavy spiraling licks it feels like most of these songs are twisting around themselves with the steady bassline as the only constant. It's not just a delightful record it also spawned the entire post punk genre and I think that's pretty neat.

Hole - Live Through This

It is absurd that I have to say this but, Courtney Love did not kill Kurt Cobain. I'm not gonna argue about this. Live Through This is an album that is preoccupied with violence against women. Whether physical, sexual, emotion, or self inflicted Courtney Love is very aware of how society imflicts harm on women who do not 'behave'. Several of the songs deal directly with rape such as Asking For It. Jennifer's Body is textually about murder and dismemberment which I take metaphorically as being about how women's bodies are commodified and enjoyed piecemeal by men. If Love is making an overall point its that society hold women to very specific standards and even when you try to rebel against them they are atill everywhere, inescapable even in your own head. The fact that Hole have softened their sound from their debut really helps get this point across. Rather than pure anger Love transitions between angry highs and depressive lows and deals some real emotional damage with her delivery. The absolute desperation on Doll Parts, a song about the beginning of hers and Cobain's relationship when she wasn't sure if he liked her, is already fucking brutal and then you consider that she lost him only a week before the album dropped.

The Allman Brothers - At Fillmore East

When a band does a twenty minute live rendition of a song with crazy improvisations and dynamic and tempo changes and shit that activates my serotonin receptors. The Allman Brothers are already a pretty great bluesy jam band in the studio, but live? They don't hold anything back. The longer the improv the more they move away from the rock territory into just blues and jazz. At Fillmore East was the peak of their career and when Duane Allman died just a little after this album's release they never played it quite as bluesy again.

The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers

I think that this is a really good album except that maybe they should have significantly rethought Brown Sugar. Maybe a raucous blues rock song about a slave owner raping his slaves should not have been a song they wrote. Other than that grotesque misstep it is easily one of the Stones' best albums. Can't You Hear Me Knocking is a monster blues jam and both Wild Horses and Dead Flowers show off their strength at writing country songs. Sticky Fingers lacks a bit of the oomph that their last two albums had, the big rockers get out of the way early and the major hit is a country ballad. But it definitely has the most Americana of any of the Stones other records from the time period. Dead Flowers is one of my favorite Stones songs just because I love Jagger's American accent, it's so fun.

De La Soul - 3 Feet High And Rising

They changed the game with this one. De La Soul probably managed to single handedly create alternative hip hop by taking a goofier upbeat tone, mixing in some of the first skits in hip hop history, and using copious sampling to create psychedelic influenced beats. The end result was something so tonally dissonant to mainstream hip hop that they got labeled hippies by the press. The beats are so bright and bouncy and every song is catchy. Honestly at this point when I hear Peg by Steely Dan I always think it's gonna be Eye Know by De La Soul. They own that sample in my mind. This is definitely a record that would spawn imitators, if you heard people having this much fun you'd have to be crazy not to wanna be a part of it.

The Clash - s/t

The Clash injected something into the punk scene with their debut. A bit of reggae influence, a distinct rawness, and an attitude that was more extreme than their US contemporaries. A lot of what was happening in the states already showed signs of moving in an artsier direction and The Clash were an innoculation against that. This is probably one of the most important albums ever made. They created a path forward for bands that had a political statement but not a college music degree.

Led Zeppelin - s/t

What? They ranked this one above Zeppelin II? I dont understand. This is a strictly inferior album. Its fun and all but this album is a band still finding their sound. The guitarwork is still too Yardbirdsy and the vocals are aimless. There are a few good heavy jams like Communication Breakdown and Good Times Bad Times, but honestly it isn't as solid as Zeppelin II, III, or IV.

[kellanved-ammanas]

The Gunslinger

Summary: Engie's finished making his fancy new mechanical hand. Now all he's gotta do is get ready to attach it to himself.

Upon seeing more stuff reminding me of the fanon idea that Engie cut his own hand off in order to equip the gunslinger I was filled with a sudden mighty need to write that happening. Strong enough that I wrote during my end of the year break from creating stuff. I didn't have a mighty need to edit it though which is why it's going up now. Also, Spy got added in as bonus at the end just for fun because I ship it and because someone needed to at least lightly scold Engie for this.

Probably unnecessary given teh summary and author's note but CONTENT WARNING for self-inflicted dismemberment and breaking bones.

~

Perhaps waiting for Medic to return to base before doing this in case things went bad would be wise. Assuming Medic wouldn’t stop him anyway, which was possible because Medic was far from a normal medical practitioner, but uncertain and thus Engie would rather do it by himself. Besides, if things ended up going too, too badly, he’d turned Respawn on so it’d be fine regardless. Though, likely, that would mean having to redo the whole thing which wouldn’t be fun. He was fairly confident he knew what he was doing well enough that that safety measure wouldn’t have to come into play though so onward he would forge.

His work bench, raised to a comfortable height, already had everything he would need laid out on it. He double checked it anyway though before making sure his workshop’s door was locked as well – the last thing he needed or wanted was someone coming in on him in the middle of this. Upon returning to the table, he was tempted to triple or even quadruple check everything but… that would just be delaying and the sooner he got this part done with, the better.

He wasn’t quite as drunk as he’d hoped to be, just barely a step beyond tipsy really, but he also didn’t want to risk becoming too drunk to do things properly. So before he could sober up any more than he already unfortunately was, he grabbed the leather belt from off the table and wrapped it around his arm, just below his elbow, making sure it was as tight as he could physically make it. Immediately uncomfortable but not painful, perhaps due to the alcohol.

After waiting for a few minutes for the tingling numbness to set into his hand in hopes of that acting as additional pain relief, he leaned over the table and laid his arm down on it. Next, with his free hand, he picked up the saw. He’d have used Medic’s bone saw but alas Medic had brought it with him when leaving base. It was the strongest and sharpest saw he could find though so hopefully it would do. Holding it tight, he placed it against his flesh, a few inches off from his wrist and…

No, he needed something to bite. No amount of inebriation short of being full anesthetized – an impossibility for obvious reasons given his desire to do this by himself – would make this a pain free operation. The slight tremor of his hand caused the saw to clatter against the metal workbench as he placed it back down. A thin cut where the saw blade had touched his flesh oozed a couple drops of blood. Between the alcohol and the numbness, he couldn’t feel it at all, a good sign, hopefully.

Turning away, he scanned his workshop for something suitable. … Ah, a rag. Not the cleanest thing in the world but it had been washed recently and with half the team away on contract missions they hadn’t been in active battle lately so it wasn’t actively covered in machine grease either. He grabbed it, stuffed it in his mouth – it tasted exactly how one would expect it to – and set up again.

This time he didn’t let himself hesitate for even a moment before pressing the saw into his forearm. Naturally it cut through his flesh without issue. Painful but nothing he couldn’t handle. The bone however, that hurt a lot more. He almost stopped but… if he did there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to finish and that just wouldn’t do. So, biting down on the rag, he continued sawing, his movements sharp and forceful.

Forcing himself to focus on the sawing motion instead of the searing pain in his right arm, he counted the motions. One… two… one… two… like sawing through a plank of wood. … A particularly tough plank of wood that oozed blood and set his arm screaming for him to stop and yank away from the saw.

His vision blurred as his eyes watered. He couldn’t blink it away fast enough. He was going to throw up or scream or both.

He stopped. The saw clattered loudly as he dropped it on the table. He spat out the rag allowing him to pant for breath as he sunk down to sit on the floor before his quivering knees gave out beneath him. Forcing himself to breath deep and steady he held his arm out and away until he felt a bit steadier, a bit less like he was going go vomit, before looking at it.

The belt was doing its job as a tourniquet fairly well; there was plenty of blood oozing from the injury and running down his arm to drip off his fingers to the floor but not enough for to be an immediate cause for worry. It also allowed him to see how deep he’d managed to saw which… wasn’t very. Turns out bone was a lot harder to saw through than he’d anticipated. In his defense he’d never had to saw through bone before.

Groaning, he looked up at the ceiling. How the fuck was he going to do this? His pain tolerance was high, especially after dying and going through Respawn as many times as he had, but there were limits to what he could stand and even more so, limits to what he could inflict on himself. There was just no way he could keep it up for long enough to get all the way through the bone.

He could build a machine to do it for him. Then all he’d have to do was strap himself to it. It’d be a simple build but… would take time to make, at least a day or two. And having already started, the pain in his arm would make it take even longer. What other choice did he have though? …

Well, the main problem was how hard it was to saw through the bone, right? If he broke it at the right spot, that wouldn’t be a problem anymore now would it?

With a groan, he forced himself to his feet. The longer he thought about this, the harder it would be to get himself to do it. First though, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey he’d been drinking out of earlier and took another long drink from it. Cheap and strong, it burned like a bitch and tasted awful but was a welcome distraction. Tempting as it was to down the whole thing and thus likely drown his consciousness as well, he forced himself to put it down when there was still a fourth of the bottle left. He’d finish it after this operation was complete.

Head swimming either from alcohol, pain and blood loss or both, he stumbled around to the other side of his work bench. Lucky for him, the new vise he’d just got in a couple weeks ago was big enough to slot his arm into. He lined it up so that the cut he’d already made was just outside the vise’s metal mouth, his hand and wrist on the other side.

He grasped the crank and started turning it. The vise closed on his wrist and forearm. First just secure, then tight, then painful, then very painful. Gritting his teeth, he kept turning and turning until… snap. Somehow he heard it a split second before he felt it. He barely held back a scream, biting down on his lip instead hard enough to draw blood. The coppery taste of it flooding his mouth brought him back to himself enough to started rapidly turning the crank the other way.

As soon as he could, he took his arm out. Every little movement sent jagged spikes of pain through his entire arm that no amount of numbness or alcohol could do much to relieve. Despite that, his instinct was to clutch it close, protect it from further arm. Fighting that instinct with deep breaths, he laid out his arm on the table again instead. Thinking being unwise right now, he grabbed the saw and started sawing again.

Much easier physically but harder psychologically. He hadn’t gotten to where he was today through being mentally weak though so he pressed on. Sawing and sawing and sawing until… the blade’s teeth hit the blood covered metal table underneath, scrapping horrible against it.

Dropping it, uncaring as it clattered against the table, he stepped back, leaving his hand behind on the table. He lifted his arm to look at his new stump. It was not as clean an amputation as he’d have liked, it wasn’t straight and the bone break was jagged and uneven but he could make do with this.

But, even if thanks to the makeshift tourniquet, it did not gush as much blood as a severed limb usually would, it was still quite a lot. Enough to be worried about. He needed to bandage it sooner rather than later.

He only took one step towards heading around to the other side of the workbench where he’d left the medical supplies before his legs gave out though. As much as the whiskey had burned going down, it burned even more as it came back up. Even as darkness ate at the edges of his vision, he did his best to keep it off himself. Perhaps alcohol had been a poor choice of pain relief and prevention, especially since it hadn’t seemed to do a whole lot towards that effort. … Something to think about for next time. Because if he couldn’t stop this bleeding in time, he’d die and Respawn, likely with his hand back. Ugh! He’d been so close! But he didn’t have the strength fight the pull of unconsciousness eating at his mind and it hurt too much for him to really want to either.

~

The pounding of his head, once set in, made it impossible to just roll over and go back to sleep. He tried to anyway, earning a sharp stab of pain in his right arm that had him jerking the rest of the way awake.

He opened his eyes and lifted his hand to look at it. It was gone. Replacing it was a bloodstained bandage. … It had worked! His hand was gone and he hadn’t died in the process of removing it. Now all he had to do was wait for it to heal a little bit and attach his new mechanical hand. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long before...

“You’re awake.”

Engie flinched, snapping his head to the side to see Spy standing up from a chair by the unlit fireplace on the other side of the room. Spy’s room actually. Which explained why the bed Engie lay on was so soft and luxurious. In hindsight not too surprising given the bandage and the fact that he’d survived when the last thing he remembered was passing out in a puddle of his own vomit. Still not an ideal situation to be in though.

The pounding in his head pulsed in time with the throbbing in his arm as he carefully sat up to lean back against the headboard. He’d have like to stand but… didn’t quite dare yet. “Aren’t you supposed to be off on a mission?”

Spy had strode over to stand by the bedside as he’d struggled to sit up and now looked down at him, his expression unreadable under the mask. “I got back earlier today.”

“And broke into my workshop,” Engie interrupted before he could say anything more. He wasn’t exactly mad about it, especially given the circumstances, but he wasn’t particularly pleased that that was apparently one of the first things Spy had done upon returning to base.

“Yes. I knocked but you did not answer and well, as that is unlike you, I grew worried and decided to invite myself in. Good thing I did too else I’m sure you would’ve bled to death. Now would you like to explain why exactly you cut your hand off?” Spy’s tone had remained neutral right up until that last sentence at which point he sounded almost a little angry. Which was perhaps fair given how it must look.

Engie shifted to sit up a bit straighter. “I’m replacing it. I built myself a new hand that should make it easier to work on my machines.” He wouldn’t have to carry around a wrench everywhere he went anymore.

“What if I hadn’t come along and you had died in this attempt?”

“I turned Respawn on.”

“It’s not supposed to be on so what if Miss Pauling had caught that it was on and turned it back off?”

Engie hadn’t thought of that but the chances were low, Miss Pauling was too busy for that. “Are you accusing me of being secretly suicidal or something?”

“Non. If you were, you’d go about it differently. I am however accusing you of being careless of your health and safety.”

“We all are. Killing folk ain’t exactly the safest of professions even with the fancy-smancy Respawn room bringing us back when we die.”

“Yes, but… this is extreme. Are you okay, Laborer?”

The seemingly genuine concern in Spy’s voice was surprising to say the least. Engie had suspected for a while now that Spy cared more about everyone on the team than he like to pretend but he hadn’t expected it to be this much. Given that, he couldn’t in good conscious follow his initial instinct to lie and say he was fine. After all, even he had to admit that cutting off one’s own hand with a saw blade wasn’t something someone who was truly fine would do. So instead he shrugged, letting himself sag against the headboard. “Could use some water and painkillers, preferably strong ones.”

Spy didn’t seemed satisfied, hanging around for a beat or two longer before turning to go over to the other side of the room. What he did over there, Engie couldn’t see and didn’t care enough to figure out. But he returned a short time later it was with a glass of water and a mysterious pill.

Instinctively, Engie reached for it first with his right hand before remembering it was no longer there. Instead, he took first the pill, not caring what it was, dry swallowing it before taking the water. After chugging the whole glass, he maybe even felt a little better. “More?” he asked as he handed the now empty glass back.

Spy sighed as he accepted it and left. This time when he returned it was with a whole pitcher of water which he left on the bedside table as he handed the refilled glass back to Engie.

“Thanks.”

“We’re not done talking about how bad an idea cutting your own hand off is.”

“I know. Later though?”

“Yes, fine, later. It’s probably about time to change the bandages anyway.”

“Thanks for that too… you know, helping out and stuff, ‘preciate it.” Even if getting caught at this was not ideal, it was still better than going through Respawn and thus having to restart – or possibly dying if someone had turned it back off. And having someone to help with the bandages and whatnot was a bigger boon than he ever would’ve hoped for.

“Don’t mention it. And I mean that literally, don’t tell anyone about this.” Ah, good ol’ Spy, continuing to not want anyone to know how much he cared. Well Engie now knew for sure and he was going to treasure that knowledge.

“You got it. This whole thing will be our little secret.” No one else needed to know about it until he had the hand properly attached. That way no one else would have cause for any real concern and would perhaps even assume he’d lost the hand in an accident.

[seijorhi]

SHAKE

Choso x female reader

a Valentine’s Day Collab

tw: murder, blood, dismemberment, stalking, yandere themes

The message from your friend said you’d be wearing a red dress. Choso counts four women, all wearing varying shades of red, three of those being dresses. Fitting, he supposes, considering this human holiday of yours.

Ultimately, the descriptor is unnecessary. Choso could pick your face in any crowd.

You glance up at his arrival, that expression – that hesitant, hopeful smile – searing its way through him. It falters, slightly, when you get a good look at him, and your lips part. “Oh– Sorry, I’m waiting for someone and I thought you were–”

He cuts you off by speaking your name, a short smile of his own to put you at ease. You’re not quick enough to completely mask the confusion that flashes across your face, but to your credit, you do try.

“Ah, you must be Jin, right? Sorry, I– my friend said you’d be–”

“Choso,” he corrects.

“P-pardon?”

He pulls out the seat across from yours. Sits. “My name is Choso. It’s good to meet you, I’ve been looking forward to this for a while.” 

You blink at him, the words clearly taking a moment or two to process. He doesn’t blame you for the hesitance, for your confusion – no doubt his name, his appearance, the cursed nature of his spirit that’ll never truly feel right to you, it all goes against the image you’ve created in your head, perhaps even what your friend told you to expect.

But Choso’s come to know you better than you know yourself. Those gears tick over behind your eyes, your mouth opening and closing, you flounder for words and then–

“You’re… my blind date? Mikako said…” you swallow, shaking the thought free. “I must’ve gotten mixed up, I’m sorry.”

Choso’s lips quirk upwards. That’s four times now you’ve apologised. 

“You look beautiful.”

Your smile warms a touch with the compliment, and Choso treasures the sight. “Thank you. So, um… you work with Mikako? In accounts?”

“Mm.”

The waiter comes by with a wine list, and the menu’s already set – Choso pays it no mind. He cares no more about the food than he does the odd looks from the couples seated around you. 

Which, judging from the slightly forced nature of your expression, cannot be said for you.

“So um, Choso,” you draw out the syllables of his name, “tell me about yourself. Mikako mentioned that you’re into photography?”

Photography, huh? No. His ‘hobbies’ as such are not so mundane, and definitely not dinner time conversation. 

He could tell you about his desire to slaughter the sorcerer who delighted in toying with his human mother and tried to manipulate him into killing his younger brother. He could tell you about his cursed techniques, and the blood mark that extends across the bridge of his nose – the one you’re trying valiantly not to look at – and what it does. 

Choso could tell you that aside from the world of curses and jujutsu sorcerers, he spends his time consumed by thoughts of you, and with every moment he can spare, he keeps you safe, watching, following from a distance. It’s how he knew of this date of yours, where you were meeting, what you’d be wearing. Who you were supposed to be meeting with. 

He could tell you what he did to the man, this… Jin. How dispatching him quickly was a mercy, yet Choso couldn’t quite bring himself to make it painless. 

“Please– please! Whatever you want– you can take my wallet, you-you want my watch? Take it, it’s yours!”

He’s shaking, clumsy fingers fumbling for the gold strap as Choso advances. The blood that oozes from the self inflicted wound glides through the air, spinning into razor-sharp discs that circle his hand. 

“Please, what do you want?!” the man begs, the front of his pants darkening, pissing himself in fear. 

Choso could make this clean. He could make it quick. The grudge he holds with the human is not a personal one – he’s simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

…  Interested in dating the wrong woman.

Choso’s resolve hardens. 

The first blood chakram severs his right arm.

The second rips through his thigh. He’ll bleed out before any help can come. 

A third forms around his fingers. He keeps it there for a heartbeat, listening as the man chokes and gurgles, the pitiful whimpering as blood drains from his body.

Choso sends it slicing through the man’s throat. 

He could tell you these things, but he doubts you’d appreciate them. Instead, he shrugs, “I’d rather hear about you.”

“Oh, there’s not really much to tell, I’m kind of boring,” you laugh.

Choso begs to disagree.

Despite that, he lets you talk, tell him things about you he already knows. The wine comes, and then entrees. You eat and carry the conversation, more out of discomfort, he thinks, than any genuine desire to share.

That’s okay, he’ll take what he can get. With you, Choso wants to be greedy.

And then your purse vibrates. 

You wait a few minutes, thinking you’re being subtle and shoot him an apologetic smile as you slip it from the back of your seat and onto your arm, “Bathroom,” you say.

But it’s when you return, your fragile, human heart racing like a hummingbird’s, and that strained smile is altogether gone that he knows this little game of his is up. 

“I’m sorry, my uh… there’s an issue with my apartment, I’ve– I’ve got to go, but it was nice meeting you, really.”

You truly are a terrible liar. 

His hand snaps out to seize your wrist before you can so much as turn. 

“You should stay,” he tells you, exerting just a fraction of his considerable strength when you attempt to tug it free. Your eyes go wide, an instinctual sort of fear taking hold as cursed energy all but bleeds from his person. 

Blind to it you may be, it poisons the air around you.

“We aren’t finished with our date yet.”

[wibblewomble]

Ranking Ajins by Death Toll

Oh but count them I did.

Have you ever wanted a comprehensive list of Ajin deaths? Well, here is one anyways!

The list is based on manga events as I actually haven't seen the anime 😬

The ranking only includes Ajins (AKA revivable characters) because otherwise the list would be…even longer than it is and 90% of it would be no-name characters. They also MUST make an appearance (so ruling out mentioned Ajins, like the Chinese Ajin with 2,000+ deaths).

Without further ado, AJIN CHARACTERS RANKED FROM MOST TO LEAST DEATHS!

...under the cut (I’m sorry, it is very long)...

🚨CW for Ajin typical shenanigans (death, mutilation, suicide, the like)🚨

Ranking by onscreen/shown deaths

Satou (44 deaths)

Kei Nagai (35 deaths)

Kou Nakano (15 deaths)

Koji Tanaka (9 deaths) TIE

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths) TIE

Takahashi (6 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (4 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (1 death) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (1 death) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (1 death) TIE

Ranking by estimations

Koji Tanaka (5,892 deaths)

Satou (692 deaths)

Kei Nagai (347 deaths)

Kou Nakano (215 deaths)

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths)

Takahashi (7 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (5 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)TIE

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (2 deaths) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death)

Everyone gets +1 to account for their first death in the estimation rankings (except Satou, Kei, Kou, Izumi, Shinya, and Ms. Tachibana because their first deaths were shown and already counted in the initial ranking)

Ajin’s with too little information to estimate (at least one death)

Takeshi Kotobuki

Jun Suzuki

Dr. Smith

Jim

Satou detractor (with the glasses)

Satou collaborator (with the glasses)

✨Honorable mention✨

Kai (by technicality)

Let’s go into some more detail about each death and estimation calculations.

Deaths are listed chronologically by manga appearance. “S” means it was self-inflicted with intention. They have to be the ones to cause the fatal blow (aside from one exception, being Izumi throwing herself in front of a car). Assisted suicide, like Tanaka stabbing Satou as a demonstration, does not count as self-inflicted.

Koji Tanaka

Gunshot to head (chpt 1)

Crushed by hydraulic press (chpt 2)

Stabbed with rods (chpt 3)

Neurological experiments (assumed) (chpt 3)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 3)

Collision trauma (used as a crash test dummy) (chpt 14)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 37)

Assumed reset (shoulder wound from Satou is gone) (chpt 43) S

+1 for first death (implied in chpt 13).

+1 assumed reset after being accidentally shot by Satou in chapter 41. His shoulder wound is gone and he (or the rest of the gang for that matter) probably wouldn’t wait for it to heal.

+1 assumed reset at some point after chapter 56. His leg wound—where he got stabbed by the minister's goons—disappears. Could have been forgotten about, could be he’s still walking around with it, but I think they would want to be in top shape when fighting Satou, so I’m counting it as a reset.

+5,880 for deaths while in captivity. Some were already included, but it pales in comparison to the total count. Tanaka was probably subject to experiments everyday. Let’s assume 3 deaths per hour (accounting for setup time and various death methods), 8 hours in a working day, and 245 working days in a year (Japanese work duration from Google). Which means in 10 years that’s 5,880 deaths. This is a very VERY general approximation, not taking into account probable overtime, lengthier experiments resulting in slower deaths, or extremely fast causes of death like getting shot. Regardless, with 10 years of captivity, Tanaka’s death toll is certainly the highest.

Tanaka’s total estimated deaths: 9 + 5,883 = 5,892

1 suicide, 2 estimated suicides

Satou

Stabbed by Tanaka (chpt 6)

Gunshot to head (chpt 9) S

Shot multiple times by Kei (chpt 10)

Stabbed and tossed around by Kei's IBM (chpt 11)

Shot by Tanaka (accidentally) (chpt 15)

Plane crash (chpt 19) S

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 21) S

Diced by wood-chipper (chpt 35) S

Caught in explosion (chpt 36) S

Gunshot to head (chpt38) S

Gunshot to head by Kuroki (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head (chpt 38) S

Gunshot to head (chpt 40) S

Impaled by own IBM (chpt 40) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm) (chpt 42) S

Jumped off Forge Safety building (chpt 42) S

Gunshot to head by gang members (chpt 47) FIRST DEATH

Decapitation by Takahashi's IBM (chpt 52)

Gunshot to head (assumed) (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Gunshot to head (chpt 54) S

Blown up by C4 (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (after intended suicide detonation) (chpt 55)

Gunshot to head (chpt 57) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 60) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 61) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 62) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest (chpt 71) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm, assumed) (chpt 71) S

Head trauma/snapped neck from falling from heli after being shot by Manabe (chpt 76)

+40 for deaths from organ harvesting. Satou trades 10 livers, 10 kidneys, and 10 hearts for guns in chapter 8 so that’s at least 10 deaths. I don't think he would ask Tanaka to help given him being freshly released from lab experiments. Nekozawa calls him “a valued client”, it’s implied he’s done this before. Satou needed guns to save Tanaka, but aside from that we don’t know how many times he’s done this. Let’s just add another 30 deaths on top of the 10.

+540 for deaths from repeat killings by SAT. I imagine the SAT encounter until Satou’s recovery was quite fast and lasted at most 5 minutes. Killing Satou at a rate of 2 shots per second means 600 deaths in 5 minutes. Let’s subtract 60 (half a minute of deaths) to account for moments when SAT was distracted by Takahashi’s sniping.

+15 for deaths from fighting with SAT offscreen. Satou is a power house. He takes out at least 5 people for every death of his own. Slapping on an estimated extra 15 deaths from this fight since he was still tuckered out by the end.

+3 for deaths from fighting gang members (chapter 47). Though unarmed against a group of 100+ men, Satou would probably make quick work of these guys since they seem mostly untrained. Slapping on an estimated extra 3 deaths.

+50 for deaths from fighting Iruma Air Base soldiers (chapter 55-57). I’ve had enough of this dude. Let’s just add 50 more for his fight against the army base soldiers since they are highly trained, killing him without restraint, and there are a lot of them. Satou is also visibly weary by the end of it.

Satou total estimated deaths: 44 + 648 = 693

22 suicides, at least 40 estimated suicides

Kei Nagai

Hit by a truck (severed in half yikes) (chpt 1)

Strangled (chpt 2)

Slit throat (chpt 3) S

Bike crash (chpt 6) S

Stab to chest (after torture and dismemberment) (chpt 7)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 8)

Drowned (chpt 12)

Stabbed in the throat (chpt 17) S

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 22)

Assumed reset (head wound from car crash is gone) (chpt 22) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence, yeah buckos i'm counting these) (chpt 31)

Assumed reset (hand wound is gone) (chpt  33) S

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Gunshot to head by Kou (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head (chpt 39) S

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 40)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 41)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa/Kou (after severing both arms) (chpt 42)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 42)

Fell off Forge Safety building (after being shot) (chpt 43)

Hypoxia (chpt 49) FIRST DEATH

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (assumed, to heal fingers) (chpt 57) S

Gunshot to head (after poped eardrums) (chpt 60) S

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 61)

Plane crash and explosion caused by Satou (chpt 70)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 72)

Impaled by own hostile IBM (chpt 72)

Gunshot to head (chpt 77) S

Gunshot to head (missing an arm and impaled on a rod) (chpt  78) S

HIT BY A TRUCK LMAO DUMBASS (chpt 83)

+240 for deaths while in captivity. Using the same metrics as Tanaka, in 10 days Kei died 240 times. Again, this is a very general approximation.

+72 for drowning deaths while adrift for a week (chapter 14). The stages of drowning take between 10-12 minutes. But let's be generous and say Kei either lucked out with calmer waters or manages to stay afloat for longer. So he drowns at a rate of 1 death per hour. Let’s also say Kei was confused and his estimation of being adrift for a week was off (downing consecutively will do that to a man), and he was only in the water for 3 days. I also don’t think he would be floating around for a week, especially if he didn’t make it out of Tokyo Bay.

Kei total estimated deaths: 35 + 312 = 347

15 suicides

Kou Nakano

Jumped out a window (chpt 15) S

Electrocution (chpt 16) S

Bled out (after falling from aparment building, stabbed in the stomach, run over by Tosaki) (chpt 16) S...ish...I’m counting as 0.5

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 16)

Jumped off a cliff (chpt 17) S

Assumed reset (leg wounds from Kei are gone) (chpt 17)

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 25)

Hanging (chpt 26) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Kei (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Kei/Hirasawa (assumed) (chpt 41)

Fell off Forge Safety building (semi-accidental) (chpt 42) S, another 0.5

Head trauma (could also be eventual starvation/dehydration) (chpt 43) FIRST DEATH

+200 for deaths from hanging. We are doing a lot of assuming, so let’s continue that trend. Let’s say Kou would only hang himself for 5 hours a day after training and before bed. Let’s also say they had approximately two weeks of training. To account for extra training, rest time, and Kou generally not feeling up for dying on repeat, we’ll assume out of the two weeks, Kou only used 10 days. Where am I getting these numbers? My gut tells me so (source: trust me bro).

Short drop hanging takes 10-20 minutes for complete brain death. Let's take the middle road and say 15 minutes. So on average, 4 deaths per hour. 4 x 5 x 10 = 200 deaths.

Kou total estimated deaths: 15 + 200 = 215

5 suicides, 200 estimated suicides

Kou and Satou were really hard to estimate for, but we powered through lads.

Izumi Shimomura

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 4)

Head trauma (chpt 27)

Untreated illness/STD (chpt 27) FIRST DEATH

Fell off a building with Satou's IBM (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Bled out (after losing an arm fighting Tanaka) (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Tosaki (assumed) (chpt 41)

Hit by car (chpt 56) S

Shot in the throat (chpt 56)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 78)

I’m assuming Izumi didn’t die after Tosaki hired her since she wasn’t being researched nor was it likely she needed to die for Tosaki as a bodyguard.

Izumi total estimated deaths: 9

1 suicide

Takahashi

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 66)

Takahashi total estimated deaths: 6 + 1 = 7

Masumi Okuyama

Carbon dioxide poisoning (chpt 32) S

Electrocution (chpt 32) S

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Improvised explosive device (chpt 58) S

Okuyama total estimated deaths: 4 + 1 = 5

3 suicides

Shinya Nakamura

Motorcycle crash (accidental beheading) (chpt 9.5) FIRST DEATH

Gunshot to head (chpt 9.5)

Shinya total estimated deaths: 2

Reiji Akiyama

Bled out (after being harpooned and fighting Tanaka's IBM) (chpt 15)

Akiyama total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag)

Bled out (shot in spleen by Tanaka) (chpt 15)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs)

Sliced in half after pushed off building by Izumi (chpt 63)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Himeko Tachibana

Satou's plane crash (chpt 65) FIRST DEATH

Total estimated deaths: 1

Kai

Gunshot through throat by Satou (chpt 72)

Total estimated deaths: 1

[daddyissuesyo]

Monsta X Yandere Headcanons

tw: implied sexual content, non-sexual consent violation, murder, suicide, emotional and physical abuse, harm/endangerment, severed ties with family, vulgarity

seriously guys this is intense

Shownu: The Protector

- you pique his attention and he asks you out, seemingly normal

- becomes obsessed after the first date and captures you on the second

- avoids physical harm unless absolutely "necessary" to keep you in line. manipulates you until feeling as though you failed him.

- reckless, unconditional love

- you can't help but reciprocate a little; he's just so caring & attentive

- vanilla sex, because he loves you

- funds EVERYTHING you could possibly want: fluffy comforters and a massive mattress, personal maids, deluxe coffee maker, stuffed animals that he doesn't let you name, etc.

- you thought your dynamic was normal until you caught him dragging the limp body of the postman that accidentally saw you changing into a shed

- from that day forth you feared him, yet didn't stop loving him

- "you are my entire world. my everything. we need each other. forever and then some."

- will not kill you unless he convinces himself others will and death by his hands is the better option

Minhyuk: The Deluded

- i n f a n t i l i z e r

- pities you, oh so much

- thinks you are a helpless baby in dire need of rescuing

- treats you like a porcelain doll & refuses to let you make even the smallest decision for yourself

- convinced you are just as infatuated and dependent on him as he is you

- on good days, he will draw bubble baths, play card games with you, and play G rated movies, pausing every minute to explain what happened

- on bad days, he will yell at you, bind your limbs, and carve his name into your flesh

- simply doesn't understand your disobedience and grief and takes it out on you, hoping to "knock sense into you"

- unlike many yandere archetypes, he enjoys parading you about like an accessory. has friends come over to admire you

- "i know it's too much for you to understand, but you need my care. where is this behavior coming from? don't you love me?"

- you'll kill yourself before he can, driven to the point of insanity

Kihyun: The Jealous

- no pets. no friends. no contact with the outside world aside from media he approves.

- shelters you like mother gothel

- insists you cut off all male contacts, even family (if you are lgbtq, it's best not to reveal this to him because then you won't even be able to speak to female family members)

- doesn't hesitate to murder any man you won't cut off. forces you to watch.

- comforts you afterward in a sick way

- you have to PLEAD to go anywhere

- if he allows it, you must wear a face covering and stay by his side

- tends to be rough in bed; he lets loose all his pent-up frustrations on you

- isn't COMPLETELY out of touch with his humanity; treats you well on birthdays and holidays and even permits a supervised phone call with your mother

- "you overwhelm me. you fill me with so much joy and so much rage. you'll never know the effect you have on me, sweetheart."

- inevitable murder-suicide in the end. i give it no more than 5 years.

Hyungwon: The Sadist

- it's all a game of cat and mouse to him; he kidnapped you while you slept after stalking for quite some time

- keeps you in chains in his basement

- decorates his home with your missing posters like a real sicko

- will torture the living shit out of you with no remorse. inflicting fractures, head trauma, slicing you open, digit dismemberment, drowning, strappado

- gets off on your fear more than your pain

- unlike the others, he recognizes when you're suffering; he just doesn't care

- destroys your self-worth and self-esteem by berating and insulting you. it's your fault you can't tell he means "I love you"

- sex entails bondage, degradation, and cruel laughter. incorporates pet names like: "bunny," "little lamb," "kitty," etc.

- may get bored of you and seek out a new victim, leaving you inexplicably desperate for his attention (which is all part of his game)

- always comes back to you after he's maimed and fucked who knows how many people. and you let him every time, holding out hope that he'll stay

- "you're never going to escape me. i hope you know that."

- would rather almost kill you and keep reviving you. you're in it for the long haul.

Jooheon: The Two-faced

- like shownu, things begin typically

- gradually shows his hand over time, but you're blinded by your feelings for him (he's a very good faux boyfriend)

- waits until your most vulnerable moment to attack

- strict and often overbearing; will beat you black and blue to the point of unconsciousness

- will actually apologize, but he doesn't stop

- tries to keep things around that you enjoy and allow domestic hobbies (congratulates your accomplishments but doesn't want to fuel your ego too much because then you'll leave him)

- struggles with internal conflict over how to treat you. wishes he could be more lenient but can't bring himself to

- allows you to have family and friends over while he's present

- very good at acting normal, it's scary. will flash you a psycho smile after they leave.

- "i'm sorry things have to be this way. if only you could see... i really do love you."

- kills himself in the end due to guilt

Changkyun: The Unhinged

- yes, yandere are psychotic, but changkyun is another level

- if you try to escape or resist him, he just stares at you with round eyes, slowly growing a grin that turns into a crazy laughing fit

- protects you from outside forces, unaware that he's the greatest danger in your life

- only upside is he takes you out on the town

- slaps across the face. sometimes at random, just to let you know he's in control

- you live on eggshells, unsure if he's in a loving or violent mood

- a strange dichotomy of worshipping you and craving your attention, yet feeling like you should be the one begging for him

- fucks hard and often, but can't look at you after

- owns an industrial freezer and locks you in there until you collapse from hypothermia III

- "w-were you trying to escape? FUCK no. what don't you understand, hon? you're my fucking property."

- will stab you repeatedly in the end, smiling with tears streaming down his face

Would anyone be interested in me developing these characters/storylines further?

[bluebellhairpin]

The Arcana - Cuddles

A/N: Muriel’s route is gonna w r e c k me. - Nemo

Masterlist  

Asra Alzanar

hOMIE, you know how lethargic Asra can get, okay, don’t be surprised if ya’ll end up lounging around all day.

Faust joins. It’s fantastic until she slides around your legs “Jeez Faust, you’re gonna get kicked! You’re cold!” so she ends up sunbathing on the nearby windowsill instead. 

Asra is sooooooo lazy when it comes to days spent cuddling with you. And clingy. If you want anything you need to get it yourself, and only after you pry Asra’s arms and legs off you. If you can manage, you could probably get away with piggy-backing them around while you do the one (1) thing you needed to get out of bed for. 

Asra keeps their face smooshed into your neck. Sometimes you wonder if they’ve suffocated, but then those lazy, half-lidded eyes look up at you and you know “It’s all good. This is where I belong.”

Kisses. All of them. Everywhere. You know those lazy, open-mouthed, morning ones? Yeah, those are Asra’s specialty. 

───────✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰✧.｡:✱───────

Julian/Ilya Devorak 

Guess who the little spoon is! It's not hard! It’s him! Julian! He lives for being the little spoon okay! 

Around you, he falls asleep fast. You’re often stuck under with this dead weight called ‘Julian’ for hours. Bring a book. Or fall asleep too. Whatever you’re into. His record was five hours. All your limbs had fallen asleep after. The pins and needles were the worst. 

When he isn’t sleeping while cuddling you, he’s talking. He doesn’t stop. He can blab to you about safe dismemberment and leeches until the sun rises. (”Sweetie, I know you love cutting off limbs and stuff, but it’s 3 in the morning and I’d like to sleep a little before I work later.”) 

Hah. If you think he’s only about sleeping, and talking when you cuddle, you’re wrong. He gets a bit touchy-feeley too. (It’s Lucio’s influence. It’s rubbed off on him. It’s bad.) Hands go everywhere. So do his lips. 

He’s dealt with self-inflicted suffering for a while, but this makes him think maybe his isn't that bad. You don’t even have to say anything. He knows he doesn’t want to die without being near you one last time.

───────✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰✧.｡:✱───────

Muriel

He’s not used to this (Muriel.exe had stopped working), but oh boy, does he love it anyway.

Inanna! Like Muriel, she’s a heater. It can get pretty hot on Muriels bed, and quickly, so sometimes she get’s kicked off, but other times Muriel feels sorry for her and goes away for a moment to check on the chickens. The he comes back and puts his cold feet on you.

Like mentioned, he runs hot. You don’t like wearing lost of clothes to cuddle with him, and that can make him a red hot mess (”what do you mean you’re only wearing a shirt??”) but eventually he gets used to it and he absolutely loves the fact that he can feel the heat and softness of your skin on his in such an innocent way. 

He’s a big spoon, but only if you cradle his head against your chest while he wraps himself around your torso/legs. He likes listening to your heartbeat. 

He’s not huge on PDA, so when you get to cuddle, he shows it all then. Everything he does shows his love, and gosh it’s so nice. 

───────✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰✧.｡:✱───────

Count Lucio/Montag Morgasson 

Why would you agree to this? You think he can sit still that long?? Huh??? Did you???? He can’t????? I thought you knew that?????? 

Because someone has a short attention span (*cough*lucio*cough*) things can get a bit f r i s k y, but if you’re not in the mood just shove him away. Despite the whining and puppy-eyes, he recovers fast. With you he can change from a raging beast-monster to a little newborn chick. It’s fantastic. 

He’s expensive. He ravishes and spoils you rotten, when you cuddle is no exception. You want snacks? More pillows? Mercedes?  Melchior? What the hell you want Camio for? It’s yours, and you don’t even have to move!

He’s got this whole ‘big, bad, count lucio’ thing going on, but god help him if you offer your side to snuggle into. He’s a dead man the moment you open your arms. He’s a huge softie. 

He loves being close to you, even at parties he’ll slide up to your side and saunter around giving you a side hug for as long as you’ll allow. Days in be cuddling are his favorite. 

[slashhinginghasher]

Marena Polunochnaya || Midnight Star

MidnightStar!verse masterlist

Closet Space: Jesse x Marena college AU

Name: Marena Polunochnaya

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Nicknames: Masha + whatever nonsense Jesse decides to come up with in the moment.

Birthday: Mid/late autumn, year unknown (she's approximately 23-24 as of the star of Midnight Star)

Birthplace: Northern Ural Mountains, Russia

Current location: As of Midnight Star canon: Southeast USA, in the residence of one Jesse Chromeskull Cromeans.

Appearance

Hair: Black, long, usually a mess and often has at least one (1) leaf or piece of grass in it

Eyes: Light blue

Height: 5′1/2″

Body type: Slender and fine-boned. Muscle tone is there but not obvious. Jesse often thinks of her as a living doll (privately, because she fucking hates it when he does).

Scars: Pretty much a full-body affair. At the start of Midnight Star: web of small scars around her left eye, the word ОБМЕН carved/burned into the side of her neck, scars across her thighs and back from repeated childhood beatings, big ol’ claw marks down her belly from a failed suicide attempt by bear, bullet wound in each shoulder, self-inflicted bite marks on her hands and forearms because my girl does not know how to regulate her emotions. By the end of Midnight Star... more.

Clothing style: When left to her own devices, typically loose-fitting clothing, generally second-hand jeans and whatever t-shirts she can find in the Goodwill bargain bin. This drives Jesse insane and he insists on supplementing her wardrobe with a whole lot of expensive designer stuff that she rarely touches unless he pressures her into it. Pretty much the only thing they readily agree on is lots of black.

(If Marena had the inclination to develop a personal sense of style she’d probably best be classed as something between goth, punk, and techware, but she has a difficult time coming to grips with the idea that she can draw attention without it ending in assault, so she dresses mostly for comfort. Secretly, she kind of likes the outfits Jesse picks out as long as he’s not putting her in lace or one of the deep-cut dresses he loves so much, but she’ll never tell him because one of the cornerstones of their relationship is antagonizing each other as much as possible.)

Weapons/killing style

Before she met Jesse, Marena was basically a melee fighter, using whatever she could get her hands on and often resorting to nails and teeth. Her small size puts her at a disadvantage in a fight, but she’s fast and has a very high pain tolerance - courtesy of her spectacularly shitty childhood - that allows her to take a lot of damage while her opponents wear themselves down.

Chromeskull, of course, would insist on his partner-in-excessive-amounts-of-crime having some elegance and pizazz, so she starts properly training in knife fighting once she becomes his girlfriend. After he buys her a sword, she develops a fascination with dismemberment and beheading, as well as “death by a thousand cuts” type torture (which she mainly uses to practice her precision maneuvering. A girl’s gotta practice her craft, y’know).

She still bites. A lot. She didn’t sharpen her teeth for nothing.

Personality

Marena is a rather prickly and cantankerous person who does not get along well with most others. If we’re being extremely kind and understating, she was... poorly socialized as a child. She automatically assumes that everyone she meets wants and is going to hurt her, both physically and emotionally, so she shoves them away as hard as possible to save herself that pain.

On the other hand, she genuinely does not give a fuck about people’s opinions of her. After all, it doesn’t matter if the person you assume is going to literally torture you thinks you’re awkward. She has a basic understanding of action-consequence in the context of social situations but generally chooses to ignore it. She’s no Billy Lenz, but she has no compunctions about smashing a glass over your head if you try to flirt with her. (She’s been kicked out of... a lot of bars.)

Her sense of humor mostly consists of saying weird things with such an incredibly straight face that you just accept them before doing a mental double-take. Some of her favorites are “We don’t have [extremely common item] in Russia” and telling people that she doesn’t speak English, in English, before returning to the conversation that she is also having in English. She is the sort of person who will get out of a text conversation by telling you, via text, that she lost her phone.

Her only friend was beaten to death in front of her and almost all of her human interactions up until the age of 18 or so started, ended, or otherwise included someone hitting her. She’s bad at feelings. She bites herself when she gets overwhelmed. She casually drops tidbits from her upbringing that make you immediately worry about her mental health. She’s dating a serial killer and is more freaked out by the “dating” part than the “serial killer” part. She’s just trying, okay.

[shelterforthelost-and-weary]

// For anyone new (or stuck on mobile) to this specific blog of mine (hi, mun from silent-stalker here) here is a list of the muses I currently have here. Right now it’s only oc’s, though I might be adding certain canon muses later on. 

Bunker - the OG muse for this blog, a Cybertronian war drone that has gained sentience for themselves and still thinks like a unit or hive mind for the most part. Lives on a backwater planet (not Earth) and visits other planets and colonies on occasion.

Vulture - an ex-Decepticon medic and seeker with corrupted memory files and a knack for coming up with extremely personal insults, even when they don’t know who they’re insulting.

Conduit - a very small pre-war empurata victim that managed to get out before he got tossed into some prison; has an outlier ability and is a glorified walking taser. Currently stowing away on merchant ships and turning tricks to fund his criminal lifestyle. (a joke, he’s just nervous and scared of everything)

Burrower - a particularly large insecticon miner who’s entire hive is dead; he lives on Earth at the moment and refuses to be a part of anyone’s war since the Decepticons already cost him his entire family. Actually very sweet.

Specimen 001 - A very old sparkeater that was discovered near a crashed Cybertronian ship, trapped in a frozen ocean. A research team dug it/him out and accidently woke it/him, Specs promptly murdered the team and used their escape pod to return to Cybertron. Can currently be found wandering the Rust Sea and the ruined cities of Cybertron. May also wind up on Earth due to groundbridge mishaps.

(Specs uses any pronouns assigned to it, the team that found it used “it/its” only, as they believed Specs to be completely dead. Specs itself doesn’t really care, but it should be noted that Specs uses he/him from the human language when speaking English.

Further information under the cut, but please be aware that the full bios contain mentions of murder, trauma, abuse, vague descriptions of torture and dismemberment (for science) as well as oppressive gov mentions.

Bunker

Bunker as they now go by, was a weapon forged in Cybertron’s early wars. They were initially created as a mindless drone, an expendable soldier, but during the last meager battles of a long, drawn out war, they went missing. After that war, the drones were all destroyed and smelted down, so that no one else could use them to start another war. (HA)

But they missed one.

Bunker hadn’t gone missing, they had been shot down by friendly fire, and left stranded when the unit panicked and tried to cover their mistake. Thankfully, the drone was fuel efficient despite their size, and could scrape extra energy up by processing raw minerals and using the solar panels in their shoulders, even after they ran out of energon rations.

Eventually, without anyone to give them orders and no one to attack, Bunker developed complete sentience, slowly evolving into a deeply intelligent mech with a craving for knowledge. They’ve managed to gather enough energy to return to Cybertron, but at this point the Decepticon/Autobot war had completely destroyed their home. Athough they are still able to harvest energon and live off of raw minerals, they do not wish to stay on a lifeless planet.

At least where they had been stranded last, they’d had animals and plants to keep them company.

So Bunker returned to their old home. However, they brought with them an old drop ship from the same era they were forged in, turning the drop ship into a humble abode for themselves. They have also managed to get a space bridge working, and are taking their first steps into a world that has mostly remained unknown to them.

Vulture

A black market medic, Vulture is an onyx seeker with two sets of wings, and a black mane/cuff of synthetic “fur” around their neck that’s really just flight insulation they choose to have on the outside of their frame. They joined the Decepticons early in the war, but have since left after watching the faction drop the original cause.

They no longer wanted anything to do with their old faction, have repainted the medic emblems on their primary set of wings - the red cross being the only color on them - and returned their visor back to a dark grey instead of red. They live in a neutral colony, tending to those who can’t afford the clinics or can’t be caught in one for whatever reason.

They present as feminine but use they/them pronouns.

Conduit

A small, horribly nervous young mech that was subjected to empurata after there was a rumor he had helped kill a senator and plotted to kill the rest. Only afterwards did anyone realize that the mech had nothing to do with the murder, and that there was no plot. The senate made up a lie, stating that Conduit’s Outlier ability to momentarily seize up a mech’s neural network and paralyze them made him extremely dangerous and that he had used it to commit criminal acts.

Conduit was able to escape using his ability and lives wherever he can, stowing away on ships and doing odd jobs at docks and colonies in order to eat. He’s very nervous and prone to accidently shocking those that touch or grab at him without warning.

He hates the claws he now has, and hates his single yellow optic, and has developed a bad habit of clawing at himself. He’s covered in the self inflicted scars. He’ll claw at others if they try to stop him from hurting himself, but will immediately seek a medic to help whoever he’s hurt.

Burrower

A large insecticon styled after a pill bug, Burrower was a miner before the war, able to dig up energon, metals and other hard minerals without the use of external equipment. When the war started, his hive was recruited by the Decepticons. Burrower refused to leave, as there was a brood yet to hatch, and his hive thus left him behind.

Unfortunately, the violence of the war saw the mines and the hive destroyed, killing the brood he had stayed for. With a newfound hatred for the war, Burrower decided to use a little known ability of his; launching himself into space like a cannonball. As long as he stayed rolled into a tight ball and used only his sensory antenna, he could travel through space just like this in a sort of hibernation, and has since visited many planets using this skill.

Currently, Burrower has found a home on Earth, and can be found digging tunnels, mining energon and occasionally wading through large bodies of water, usually hunting down clay deposits and gemstones/crystals/shells. He has a built-in refinery and can consume just about anything - stone, metal and even organic matter - and turn it into a brew to fuel himself and others if he so chose to share.

Specimen 001

Found by a Cybertronian research team, trapped deep within a frozen ocean, it was unclear at first what it was exactly. It was Cybertronian, and that was all that was clear to the research team. One of their first finds on this mining colony, whatever it was, Specimen One was their pride and joy - which of course, meant running as many tests as they had the resources for.

This meant many long days at the side of this frozen behemoth of a mech - although “mech” was used as a loose term. At least 50 feet (15 meters) in height, the frame of this mech was broken, falling apart and in baring many, many wounds - both healed and “fresh”. It has four arms, a primary set that had thick cables running along the underside, the large hands boasting wicked claws.

The secondary set were smaller, and curled into a space beneath it’s chest, with a set of smaller clawed hands…well, hand. One had been removed by the research team, justified at the time as the only option to run certain tests.

It had six optics, with one being broken from a past injury, a dangerous set of steel-crunching jaws and a second mandible that could split open to make for a bigger, more painful bite. Throat is coated in barbs or hooks, looking like a garbage disposal to grind up anything it swallowed. It had thick cables coming from it’s back, each ending in a hooked, beak-like clamp. Each of these were equipped with injector needles for paralyzing it’s prey, the cables themselves strong enough to hold an average sized mech down. (discovered later)

There are large vents on either side of it’s helm, only obvious when in use as a thin film covers them otherwise. Was discovered to be an advanced olfactory organs, giving the mech the ability to hunt by scent alone.

And finally, after thawing the mech out, having thought it dead, the research team discovered a crucial piece of information: The mech was still alive, and it was a very big, very old, and very pissed off sparkeater.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: *Updated* Every Time Subaru Dies in Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-

  Editor's Note: Death count has been updated as of 12/28/2020

  Content and Spoiler Warning: This article contains huge spoilers for Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-. It also contains references to death (in various gruesome flavors), violence, and suicide, so reader discretion is strongly advised.

  If you're familiar with the premise of Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World- (aka “Anime Groundhog Day,” hereafter Re:ZERO), then you know that for reasons that yet remain mysterious and that likely involve witchcraft, the hero of the show, Natsuki Subaru, has a pretty rough time after he ends up in a fantasy world with a limited form of reincarnation.

  Every time Subaru dies, the timeline resets from his perspective to an earlier “save point,” allowing him to re-live scenarios and attempt to alter their outcome for the better. The process is far from perfect and often horrendously painful, as only Subaru retains his memories from defunct timelines, and he's unable to communicate the experience of this phenomenon to his friends, allies, and loved ones.

    With that in mind, we here at Crunchyroll have chronicled every time that Subaru expires, passes on, rings down the curtain and joins the choir invisible in the currently published episodes of Re:ZERO, all for the edification of our faithful viewers. Don't fret, folks. No matter how hard Subaru kicks the bucket, he always has another chance to start life in another world from zero.

  Please note that the first dozen demises chronicled here use the time-stamps of the original release of Re:ZERO, rather than the Director's Cut. And now, without further ado, the Many Deaths of Subaru Natsuki, Isekai Fantasy Light Novel Protagonist:

    Death #1: Sliced Up by Elsa Granhiert (beginning about 3:05 minutes into Episode 1B).

    Death #2: Sliced Up by Elsa Granhiert, Again (beginning about 21:40 minutes into Episode 1B).

    Death #3: Stabbed by Street Punks (beginning about 3:20 minutes into Episode 2).

    Death #4: As-Yet-Undefined Death In the Evening Hours (beginning about 23:55 minutes into Episode 4).

    Death #5: Magical Curse + Bonus Bludgeoning by Unknown Assailant (beginning about 22:50 minutes into Episode 5).

    Death #6: Bludgeoned by Rem and Sliced Up by Ram (beginning about 1:15 minutes into Episode 7).

    Death #7: Unlicensed Cliff-Diving (beginning about 23:50 minutes into Episode 7).

    Death #8: Popsicle Impression (beginning about 2:25 minutes into Episode 15).

    Death #9: Freezing Decapitation Double Whammy (beginning about 21:10 minutes into Episode 15).

    Death #10: Frozen Solid & Smashed to Pieces by Puck (beginning about 2:10 minutes into Episode 18).

    Death #11: Magic & Sword Assisted Suicide to End Petelgeuse's Possession (beginning about 21:10 minutes into Episode 23).

    Death #12 from Season 2: Reenacting Romeo & Juliet While Trying to Rescue Rem (beginning about 13:10 minutes into Episode 26).

    Death #13: Sliced Up by Elsa Granhiert, Once More, With Feeling (beginning about 25:20 minutes into Episode 30).

    Death #14: Sliced Up by Elsa Granhiert, Part IV: The Revenge (beginning about 4:35 minutes into Episode 32).

    Death #15: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (beginning about 15:55 minutes into Episode 33).

    Death #16: Self-Inflicted Stab Wound to Escape Satella's Grasp (beginning about 3:00 minutes into Episode 35).

    Death #17: Exsanguination from Countless Bunny Nibbles (beginning about 24:35 minutes into Episode 36).

  They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but that old adage doesn't really take the effects of “Return by Death” into account. Luckily for the viewers, Subaru persists despite the constant threat of death and dismemberment, growing as a person and becoming more nuanced as a character with every incarnation, involuntary or otherwise.

    Special thanks go to Kara Dennison and Kevin Matyi for chronicling the lifes and deaths of poor Natsuki Subaru. If you'd like a little more Re:ZERO in your life, you can always check out the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL Re:ZERO REWATCH where Crunchyroll's writers explored the series. The second season of Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World- is currently streaming on Crunchyroll, and English language versions of the original Re:ZERO light novels are available from Yen Press.

  What's your favorite (or least favorite) manner of Subaru being sent to meet his maker? Which scenes did you find particularly visceral or dramatic? Let us know in the comments section below, and stay safe out there, isekai fantasy light novel fans!

      Paul Chapman is the host of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast and GME! Anime Fun Time.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.

By: Paul Chapman

[bewareofchris]

Help! My plot is stalled!

It’s alright, friends.  We’ve all been there, sitting at a desk or laying in our beds, staring at the screen wondering what in the holy beef jerky has gone wrong because our ability to write has just come to a screeching halt.

We’re uninspired.

We’re unmoved.

We’re incapable of figuring out what happens next.

It’s time like this that our instinct is to grab a machete and start cutting through extraneous characters like a boiled steak knife through Jell-O.  We’re throwing romantic curve balls and car crashes at our protagonist so quickly they don’t have time to recover from one before they’re being traumatized by another.

Sometimes, we think, now is the time to reveal that our beloved Protagonist is actually an alien from another planet who survives by consuming the souls of lap dogs and his insatiable thirst for Pekineses is causing him great distress because the human mate he has chosen for himself has three such delicious morsels.

BUT, never fear my friends.  Here are some ideas to help you get out of that hellish valley of despair and back on track.

Take a break.  Have a snack.  Stretch your limbs.  Go for a walk.  Call a friend who listens to things and explain to them how your story is stupid and you hate it and it won’t move.  You don’t need to let your friend talk at all. Just keep complaining about your story until suddenly you realize what went wrong.

Daydream about what your character would do if you were to suddenly abandon him/her with six kids under the age of 5 at a busy theme park.  Or what he/she would do if they suddenly found themselves trying to talk two very angry kingly types out of starting a civil war because they disagree on which side of their toast to spread butter on.  Put your character in the MOST ridiculous scenario you could possibly imagine.  Make them rationalize their way out of it.  Don’t make it easy.  Six kids under the age of 5 when you’ve never dealt with children is basically hell.  Let your character suffer, and fail, improve and finally win (or at least survive).

Fantasize about beating your characters with a metal pipe.  Imagine their pleas for mercy as they try in vain to remind you that they are fictional constructs and this is not their fault.

Once you’ve cleaned your system of these violent urges toward non-real people, sit back down.  Re-read what you’ve written, if it’s still as bad as you thought it was, here are some actual bits of advice:

Regardless of what Rafiki once said about moving on and forgetting the past, the problem that you are presently experiencing is mostly caused by something that went wrong in the recent events of your story.  Take another look at the latest choices that your main or side characters made and ask yourself if maybe them making A DIFFERENT CHOICE might put your story back to rights.

Take another look at your character and his/her story so far.  Is your character excelling in every facet of his/her life?  Have they faced any obstacles that amounted to more than a mild inconvenience?  Are they generally well-liked?  Respected?  Do they have noticeable faults?  Are these faults presented in a way that allows other people to be annoyed by them?  Have these faults gotten in the character’s way?  If your main character is Too Good and Such Winning or Basically Useless and Always Failing then your story is imbalanced and it can’t move forward because you’re not allowing the protagonist to experience growth and change.

Are there relationships?  Friendships?  Family?  Rivalrys? ROMANCE?  You need relationships of at least 2 different types in a story.  Preferably more.  And they can’t all be the same kind with different names.  And they need to also be developing with your characters.  So Protag makes an unpopular choice with his family but his BFF is loving it and his Romantic Interest thinks it could be good for him.  You have so much material right there!

DO. NOT. MURDER. ANYONE.  Dismemberment is okay if you really want to have to take the time out of your story to focus on the emotional and physical effects that a traumatic event inflicts on your protagonist.

DO NOT MAKE YOUR ROMANTIC INTERESTS HATE EACH OTHER OVER SOMETHING STUPID.  Please.  Please don’t do this.  It’s really just not worth it.  If you make them so angry at one another they’re screaming death threats and then the next day they’re like: I guess we love one another again you cheapen the impact.  If this is a story about overcoming things and growing as people and forgiveness then yes, break them up and get them back together but don’t do it just to have an exciting screaming sequence.  Or do.  I mean, you do you.

Instead of tearing your couple apart, have them get together.  Have them spend a weekend doing silly, childish, amazing things.  Let them smooch, and cuddle, and eat candy together.  Let them waste money they don’t staying overnight in a fancy hotel.

Visit a Significant Character from your Protag’s past because they are in need of comfort and guidance.  Allow them to reminisce about the good old days, and whine about how they don’t feel like they’ll ever be that happy again.  Let your Significant Character hit your Protag with a rolled up newspaper.  STOP BEING A NINNY, PROTAG.  STOP IT IMMEDIATELY.

Give your Protag an unexpected promotion.  You were just a kid that cleaned stables, but we noticed that you’ve got a real way about you that suggests you’re WIZARD MATERIAL.  Build that Protag up, let him feel pride and joy and love.

(And then make the person that promoted him have questionable morals.  Make him vaguely untrustworthy.  Watch your starry-eyed protag battle against a shady man of questionable intentions to see who wins in the end!  But not with the fate of the whole world.  Like the fate of a small village at most.)

Give your Protag the single worst day of his entire life that does not involve physical altercations and/or death.  Maybe he/she pulled a muscle having athletic sex that morning, was distracted by the pain in the shower,got soap in their eyes, limped to the car to find it was out of gas, went to a busy gas station, got coffee that was too cold to enjoy, was late to work, had more work than usual, the pain meds never started working, left his lunch at home, couldn’t buy anything because they ran out of time, had to listen to the Obnoxious Co-Worker next to them complaining about Obnoxious Co Workers Obviously Useless Significant Other for an hour and a half, left work late, forgot about plans to meet up with a friend, got ignored by friend at meet up, comes home and collapses in a pile of self-pity and physical pain and has Significant Other rub their aching pulled muscle and listen to their complaints.

You could do a car wreck, or you could just ruin your Protag’s entire life by having the transmission die in the middle of traffic.

The point I’m trying to get across here is that you have to have a journey that is balanced with ups and downs.  If you’re only going up, or you’re only going down, or you’re not going anywhere at all but straight forward on a 300 mile car trip across a flat surface with no trees, there’s no story there.

You could shoot someone, or you could have your Protagonist do something that injures their relationship with their Best Friend and Confidante.  Then your Protag protests their innocence to the point that it’s obvious they are being Stupid now.  Let them roll around in undeserved pity.  Let nobody else agree with them, and still they refuse to acknowledge they are stupid.  And then let them FINALLY, sort of, a little, admit they were wrong and instead of them offering a half-assed apology and moving on like it never happened, make them work to repair the damage they inflicted.  

Put your Protag in a position where they have to defend a friend/family member or romantic interest in a non-physical way.  Susan from Biology was telling Quentin and Theodore that Protag’s BFF eats his own snot.  And Protag is like OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO GO FIND SUSAN AND SCREAM A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER AT HER.  (or start vicious rumors about her behind her back, and take utterly glee at her humiliation, and then finally think: did I go to far?  I don’t think I went too far.)

DO. NOT. GET. SOMEONE. PREGNANT.  Do you knows what happens when someone’s pregnant?  They end up with a baby.  (Or a miscarriage.)  That pregnancy cannot be handwaved away.  If you’re not here to write about the amazing journey from sex to birth and lifetime of parenting that follows, you are not here to get someone knocked up for the drama.

Sure, let your Protag develop a desperate attraction to someone’s that not the Primary Love Interest but if the Primary Love Interest and Protag already have sexual and romantic tension building between them, maybe let the audience know that this is one of those things where you’re lonely and you want companionship and it’s not really that fair to Someone You Just Met and Now Want to Have Sex With.  Let Primary Love Interest struggle to be supportive.  or let Protag and Primarily Love Interest be mean-spirited little shits and mock the poor Someone You Just Met.

DO. NOT. MURDER. AN. ENTIRE. VILLAGE.  Did a spell go bad?  Did a curse escape?  Did your magical being accidentally create a sixteen foot tall metal horse with a thirst for squirrel hearts?  Remember that wholesale murdering of innocent side characters nobody cares about does effectively nothing for your story.  Don’t kill the entire village.  Let your character freak out because he/she misplaced a curse and ANYONE COULD HAVE IT.  Let them ransack the village developing a reputation as a mad man to find it.  Let him work furiously to develop a cure to the curse and refuse to rest until everyone’s been inoculated against said Curse, and then idk, he finds it on the floor under his work station.  Or, let him realize a curse is missing and he just kind of says nothing while he watches the village to see how effective it is.

SIDE QUESTS, so here me out.  This works best for longer stories and serial type works of fiction, but if your character has only one goal and never any other goals or distractions or purposes or interests you are seriously shooting yourself in the foot.  Don’t focus all your energy on Protag Loves Love Interest.  Protag also has Family Drama.  (Did you hear that Bobert is trying to buy a fucking boat?  A boat!  Why does he need a boat!  He can’t swim.  He’s going to die.  A boat.  A god damn boat.)  Protag has ambitions at work that are being undercut by Evil Boss.  (And anyway, Worst Boss Ever, he just comes over and drops this massive work load on my desk and he smiles at me because the Main Boss is coming tomorrow and my desk will be the only one covered in unfinished work.  What choice do I have?  I can’t quit, I need this promotion, so I stick to it.  I stay late, I work as hard as I can and...)

I know it’s not for everyone but Sex.  Unless your characters are Too Young to have a developed sexuality, that sexuality needs to be in your story.  I mean, if your entire story takes place and Grandma’s funeral, then you probably can skip this one.  But if your story takes place over any length of time, sex and sex-adjacent things need to be brought up.  They don’t need to be graphic.  They don’t need to be gross.  It can be a kiss, or the yearning for a kiss.  It can be a meaningful, flirtatious touch.  It can be the idea of a flirtatious touch.  There can be complaints of a need for flirtatious touches.  To each their own comfort level, but some sense of sexuality and how that is a Driving Urge in your character is also good.

Introduce a Rival.  Go ahead.  Let your uncontested King of Bowling protag meet a New Challenger.  Send them spiral with fear that they may not be top dog anymore.

Force your Protag and Antagonist to form a momentary truce.  Let them come to some understanding of the other that makes their future interactions more difficult.  

Strike your Protag with a Great Unfairness.  They didn’t get the promotion.  They couldn’t pay the bills.  They weren’t selected to be court jester.  They didn’t get to the store on time.  Someone else got to the top of the summit before them and now they’re basically trash to history.

Randomly have your supposed Antagonist turn out to Actually a Decent Guy that you’ve been blaming for all the wrongs in the world because it was convenient and really the actual antagonist can’t be defeated because he/she overpowers you somehow.  But with Actually a Decent Guy and his Surprisingly Nice Friends and you and your friends, you stand a chance.

Push your protagonist into a mud puddle.  Just for shits and giggles, make it so there’s not a dead body in there with him.  Or put one in if you want.  Nothing says ‘happy fun times at plot-stalled high’ like a decomposing corpse where one shouldn’t be.

Break your Protagonists heart, and let there be people that love them.  

Have fun, take your time, embrace the mundane and ridiculous aspects of life.  ALWAYS give your character flaws, and make them aware of them, and let them grow.  That’s the story.  All the other nonsense, the car wrecks and gunshots, and serial killers doesn’t matter in the end.  The reader is looking for Relationships That Matter and Characters that Grow.  Characters that stink of humanity, that reflect something about human beings the reader has met (or the reader themselves).  They want to connect, they want to love your character and they can’t do that if your character is Perfect.  Nobody’s perfect.  Stories stagnate when they can’t grow.  Let your story grow.  Let your characters grow.

[hati-writes]

Harry Potter and the Family who Loved him Year Two

What if Harry Potter had been raised by a family who gave him all the love and support he needed? What would change about the Harry Potter stories if Harry had been raised by the Weasleys rather than the Dursleys?

Part One is here

Link to the story on Ao3 is here

___

The summer after his first year at Hogwarts passed in a happy sunlit blur for Harry and his family. Ginny was highly excited to be going to Hogwarts in September and badgered Ron and Harry with a million questions as to what it would be like. Charlie gave them weekly updates on Norbert’s progress and the twins persuaded Harry and Ron to help them, ahem, “borrow” their dad’s battered muggle car to test that it worked well. They didn’t even crash it! Not that that made any difference to the scolding they all got when they returned home, breathless and delighted with themselves. Mrs Weasley was less than delighted and all four boys ended up de-gnoming the garden and pulling up weeds for hours. Still, it had been worth it they blithely decided.

It took almost two weeks for Harry to notice he wasn’t getting any mail, and even then only because Hermione mentioned in one of her letters to Ron that ‘I was surprised you would be better at replying to letters than Harry, can you tell him to hurry up and write back?’. Mystified Harry checked with his parents, Errol hadn’t brought any mail for him at all, and neither had Hedwig or any other owl.

Mr Weasley was alarmed when this was brought to his attention, being well aware of how difficult it was to interfere with the owl post. He consulted with his eldest son and Bill came home for a week to check up on the status of the house wards. They could find no evidence of tampering, which only made them more suspicious. Worried, Arthur invited over Moody to see if there was any dark magic around. Mrs Weasley threatened her children into behaving for their guest and chased them upstairs while Moody was examining the wards, for fear that the twins would play some sort of prank that would send Moody in a paranoid state and end up with the kitchen demolished or something.

Banished to their bedroom Harry and Ron had been playing chess when they were visited by a house elf. Ron was gobsmacked, Harry had been raised to be polite though and invited Dobby to sit down. This cued tears and self inflicted punishment. The boys did their best to keep him quiet, not wanting to incur their mother’s wrath any further. Dobby eventually revealed he had been stealing Harry’s mail and that Harry was not to go back to Hogwarts. As expected, Harry refused to consider that particular notion.

Dobby wouldn’t give up that easily however and sprinted downstairs, closely followed by Ron and Harry who were just in time to see him shoot a stinging hex at a distracted Mad Eye Moody and vanish. Moody, predictably, reacted like it was an attack from fully trained dark wizards and Harry and Ron leapt for cover as the wall behind them was blown to smithereens.

Moody apologised of course and managed to fix the wall up better than ever , but the damage was done. Ron and Harry were grounded for the rest of the summer. No flying, no visiting the village, no chess and all homework completed. Mrs Weasley even confiscated Harry’s new broom just to be certain there would be no illicit Quidditch games before school, no matter how much Harry begged that he needed to practise, he was on the team! Harry did notice that Ron got quiet whenever Harry mentioned that and resolved to discuss it with Hermionie when he next saw her. The other outcome of Harry and Ron being grounded was the twins getting bored enough to let Ginny play seriously with them. She was much better than anyone had realised actually. Harry was impressed.

When the time came for the Diagon Alley shop Ron and Harry were thrilled, they’d been itching to get out of the house for weeks now and the prospect of minor freedom was intoxicating. Harry of course knew how to use floo powder properly and, with no desire to incur his parent’s anger yet again, he went straight to Diagon Alley. There they met with Hermione and her parents as well as bumping into Hagrid. The bookstore was overflowing with middle aged witches with stars in their eyes and all the Weasley children eyed the banner proclaiming the author signing with apprehension. They were all too aware of their mother’s infatuation with the blond man, and none of them felt overly inclined to be favourable to him.

Lockhart never noticed Harry in the crowd, another red haired boy in second hand clothes standing with his family. Lucius Malfoy on the other hand was very aware of all of the Weasley’s, and the Potter they thought of as their own. His comments towards Hermione had Harry and his brothers furious, and then when he started on their father...well, if Arthur hadn’t punched Lucius then his children might have!

But there were no further incidents and September first and all the usual chaos of sending children off to school descended upon the Burrow. Even more so that usual, this was the first year that all the children in the house would be leaving! Six children to get up and dressed and fully packed for the eleven o’clock train to Hogwarts. Mrs Weasley had been heard to enthuse about all the relaxation she was going to get now she and Arthur would have the house to themselves. 

Harry and Ron waited for the rest of the family to go through the barrier before following. Or trying to. The barrier was blocked somehow, and they stared in dismay as the clock ticked over past the hour and the train left. Ron’s idea of taking the car was regarded as sheer genius by Harry and the two of them cheerfully set off to fly all the way to Scotland.

They rethought the plan after a few hours of hot, uncomfortable, and hungry driving. Even moreso when the invisibility booster failed and they had to be constantly wary of being spotted by muggles. They managed to get to school without any real incidents though. At least until they crashed into the Whomping Willow. They came out of that incident with several bruises and scratches each, a snapped wand and no car. Exchanging looks they came to the gloomy realisation that their mother was going to kill them, and when they went to the entrance hall and found Snape waiting for them they decided she might not get a chance.

Snape didn’t even say anything to them, just took them to his office, continuing to avoid looking at Harry, and leaving them there. The lack of shouting was somehow even more unnerving than threats of expulsion or dismemberment. Both brothers were convinced they were going to be thrown out. McGonagall shouted enough for two Snapes, and Dumbledore’s disappointment was even worse. The two eventually made their way up to Gryffindor Tower, still feeling as though they had narrowly escaped death or worse to be greeted by a disapproving and annoyed Hermione who thought they’d stolen the car just for  lark or something.

Discovering Lockhart was their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher did not improve their first week. They’d already coped with seeing two red envelopes flying towards them at breakfast, both screeching discordantly at them while the rest of the school looked on and laughed. Harry had tried to hide behind a pile of sausages while Ron had gone brighter red than his hair. At least Hermionie seemed to think they’d been punished enough and was back to being their friend again. But that was small comfort for Harry as Lockhart corralled him outside Herbology, apologising elaborately for not recognising him earlier and assuring him that Lockhart would help his celebrity shine through, that Lockhart would be Harry’s guide and advisor and that he could make it so no one ever mistook Harry Potter for a Weasley ever again. Harry stiffly informed him that he was a Weasley and he didn’t want to be recognised as a celebrity. Lockhart seemed not to hear.

After dealing with Lockhart Harry was even more irritated to find a first year following him around with a camera and constantly calling him Harry Potter. Unsure of how best to deal with either situation he simply did his best to avoid both Colin Creevy and Lockhart. Which was difficult when one was your teacher and the other in your house. He was relieved when Quidditch came around, he’d spoken to Hermionie about Ron seeming upset over Harry being on the team and she’d had a suggestion he wanted to talk to Wood about.

Wood was eager to talk, and Harry’s suggestion made him nod thoughtfully, though he said he’d have to think it over. This was enough for Harry and he was smiling happily as they stepped out onto the pitch. Only to be faced by Draco and the Slytherin team. In the ensuing fight it was revealed just how badly Ron’s wand was broken. Ron, Harry and Hermionie retreated to Hagrid’s hut where Harry plunked his head on the table and declared this had definitely been his worst week of school ever.

School however did slowly improve, Harry and Ron fell into their usual routine of classes, homework, Quidditch practise and relaxing. Lockhart had claimed Harry for detention much to his annoyance and had him answering fan mail for hours on end. The detention was only finished when Harry heard a mysterious voice making threats from within the walls. Concerned he told his twin and his friend but they didn’t have any ideas.

Harry was also becoming worried about Ginny. She was his little sister, he’d known her as long as he could remember and Ginny was usually bright and chatty and full of questions and enjoyment in everything she did. But since coming to school she seemed to have become quiet and sad, withdrawn...almost washed out. Harry shared his worries with Ron, but neither of them were certain how best to help. Ginny denied anything was wrong whenever they pressed her about it.

Finally after Quidditch practise one night Wood held back Harry to talk to him, he admitted it was a good idea, to start to train up reserve players for Gryffindor team and he would let Ron try out for reserve keeper sometime soon. In his excitement to tell his twin the news Harry ran full pelt through the castle, slamming into Filch and getting in trouble yet again. Honestly, he’d been in trouble almost constantly this year, or at least it felt like he had! He did however get invited to a Death Day party by Nearly Headless Nick.

Unforunately the party ended with Harry, Hermionie and Ron standing next to a petrified Mrs Norris and half the school suspecting them of murder. Ron muttered that this seemed par the course for the way this year was heading. At least Dumbledore didn’t seem to think they’d done anything, though Snape seemed more suspicious, wondering aloud why they hadn’t been at the feast. 

Hermionie asked Binns about the Chamber of Secrets and all three of them became convinced Malfoy must be the heir. They began trying to think of a plan to find out the truth, hampered only by the disastrous end to Harry’s Quidditch match against Slytherin. As though he’d needed any extra reason to dislike Lockhart… Colin Creevy’s petrification and Dobby’s clandestine visit made their search for the truth even more important.

The duelling club was an unmitigated disaster, though considering who the host was that wasn’t really a surprise to anyone. Harry was well aware he was a Parselmouth of course, his mother had caught him earnestly trying to convince a grass snake to go and scare the twins after they’d turned Ron’s teddy into a spider. The next morning his dad had sat Harry down and carefully explained that there was nothing wrong with him, but people might get scared if they knew he could speak to snakes so he should only do it in an emergency. Harry deemed it an emergency when the snake seemed about to attack Justin Finch Fletchly and revealed his secret to the whole school.

His brothers and sister knew about it of course, and they stuck by him through the suspicion of the school. Ron never left his side, Percy took to lecturing groups of students on the history of Parseltongue, Ginny showed a flash of her old self and promised to play the worst possible prank on him to distract him (this one worried Harry, Ginny had a fiendish imagination) and the twins tried their level best to turn the whole situation into a joke, loudly proclaiming Harry was the Heir in such over the top ridiculous manner that no one seemed able to take the idea seriously.

Hermione’s idea for catching Draco turned out to be slow and difficult, but on Christmas morning the potion was ready. Mr and Mrs Weasley had practically begged all their children to come home for the holidays, all things considered but truthfully hadn’t been surprised when they’d all decided to stay, all of them were Gryffindors after all, they weren’t the type to run away from danger. Case in point Harry and Ron spent their Christmas afternoon sneaking into the Slytherin common room to question Malfoy. They got no useful information and both boys were only barely able to retrain themselves from getting into a fight when Malfoy began insulting their father. Only the failure of the Polyjuice kept Harry from punching Malfoy as hard as he could.

Ginny’s prank became obvious on Valentines day. Harry swore he would never forgive his younger sister as he tried his best to flee from the dwarf chasing behind him. Ginny leaned against the wall as he struggled, smirking and looking more like herself than she had in weeks. Harry’s bag ripped, throwing all his equipment everywhere, including the strange diary he’d found in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. Harry didn’t notice Ginny’s face turning white as she stared at the book, too preoccupied as he was by trying to gather his things and dealing with the laughter of everyone nearby.

That night Harry tried writing in the diary and soon had more answers about the heir of Slytherin than he might have wanted. Shaken and unsure, he and his brother discussed with Hermione how best to ask Hagrid about it. However, the diary was stolen away again before they could question it further, and by someone in Gryffindor tower at that! They grew ever more concerned and resolved they had to talk to Hagrid, no matter how awkward it might be. They decided to wait until after the Quidditch match that was upcoming. Ron had been training as reserve keeper since Christmas and was thrilled to be more of a part of the games, even if he wouldn’t be playing in this match. But before they could even kick off, the match was cancelled and Ron and Harry had to deal with the sudden loss of Hermione to petrification.

They snuck out to see Hagrid. But that ended with Hagrid arrested and Dumbledore pushed out of the school. All they were left with was a cryptic clue. Harry knew about Ron’s fear of spiders of course, he’d been there when the eight year old Fred had screamed at Ron in anger and Ron’s teddy had squirmed and warped until it was a spider half the size of the five year old. It had turned back after a few minutes of course, an eight year old’s accidental magic wasn’t that powerful really, but the damage had been done. Ron had thrown the teddy into the fireplace and hated spiders ever since.

But for Hermione Ron would face his deep seated terror of spiders. Once the spiders had been found he and Harry snuck out that very night and went deep into the Forbidden Forest. They met Aragog and barely escaped from him, only saved by the old and battered car they’d crashed into the Whomping WIllow months previously. No answers had been found in the forest and Harry and Ron returned to their beds dispirited and worried.

Harry realised that Moaning Myrtle had the key to the whole mystery and he and Ron snuck off to talk to her. After a brief detour by Hermione’s hospital room where they learned what sort of monster they were up against, they had all the answers they needed and were on their way to the teachers lounge when the announcement was made. Hiding in a cloak closet, listening as the teachers discussed what had happened. Both Harry and Ron felt as though they had suffered a physical blow when it was revealed who exactly had been taken by the monster.

Harry returned to the common room, feeling like his heart had shrivelled up into stone, how and Ron and him not noticed? Why hadn’t they taken better care of their little sister. He sat with his brothers, none of them saying much as they all tried not to contemplate the awfulness of reality. Harry felt the first pangs of real, true grief tug at him, and it was a relief when Ron and he decided to go and speak to Lockhart. Any task, any distraction was worth it right now.

Lockhart turned out to be a fraud and, reckless with grief and fear, Ron and Harry decided to go and fetch Ginny on their own. If there was even the slimmest chance their sister was still alive then they had to find her and bring her home safely. They found the entrance and, taking Lockhart with them, went down to battle a Basilisk and save their sister.

The fight was hard, Ron was separated from Harry. Lockhart tried to use Ron’s wand, broken during their crash landing at the Whomping Willow and ended up wiping his own memories. Harry continued on alone. Parseltongue got him through the doors to face the shadow of Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle who insisted on addressing him as Harry Potter, no matter how tersely Harry corrected him as to his surname. Tom Riddle who took Harry’s wand as he tried to lift up his younger sister to carry her to safety. Tom Riddle who revealed his true name as Lord Voldemort and brought forth the Basilisk. Harry barely survived the fight with Slytherin’s monster but with the help of Fawkes and the sorting hat, he overcame the diary and the beast both, driving the Basilisk fang deep into the pages of the slim volume and watching the ink pool and splash. Behind him Ginny woke up with a gasp.

Ginny was crying and apologising, trying to explain how she’d wanted to come and talk to her brothers, but that she felt like she’d betrayed Harry. Because Harry was her brother and she knew that was all he ever wanted to be, but Tom had become obsessed when she’d let slip about Harry’s past and Ginny had felt as though she’d betrayed her brother by revealing his original surname. The guilt had stopped her coming to her family for help until she was too far under Tom’s control. Harry hugged her and told her it was alright, he didn’t blame her at all, he was just relieved she was safe. Then Fawkes guided Ginny, Harry, Ron and the befuddled Lockhart out of the Basilisk’s lair and to the safety of Dumbledore and their parents.

The Weasley’s cried and hugged all their children close, half scolding, half praising them. Harry and Ron told Dumbledore their story and Ginny tearfully confessed to her part when Dumbledore asked how Voldemort had enchanted a Hogwarts student. Dumbledore asked Harry to stay behind after everyone else left, but Ron insisted on staying with his twin and Harry nodded when Dumbledore looked at him questioningly. Dumbledore explained about the sword, and the true meaning of courage.

Moments later Lucius arrived. Harry and Ron both instantly recognised Dobby and in a single glance they formed a plan, Dobby may have got them into a lot of trouble over the year, but he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Ron ran ahead to slow down Lucius as Harry quickly took the diary back and stuffed it inside a sock. A few minutes later Dobby had been freed and Ron and Harry ran down to the Feast, laughing and happy again. The year had been full of trouble, but everything was made right again as Hagrid came back, and Hermione ran over to hug them both, and all their brothers were over the moon to have their whole family safe and well again. Gryffindor won and Harry thought his face would tear he was smiling so hard. All was right in the world once more.

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