#self worth issues ???

[firewolf111]

Projecting onto Roman time!

Janus: Are you okay?

Roman: I'm fine.

Janus: You know, for some reason, I do believe you.

Roman: *growing frustrated* Well, what do you want me to say?

Janus: The truth.

Roman: *chuckling* That's ironic coming from you.

Janus: *sighs* I didn't come here to fight, so if you could just-

Roman: Just what? Huh? You know what?! *throws hands up in the air* Fine. You want the truth?!

Janus: Yes. That isn't what I asked for.

Roman: The truth is that it doesn't matter whether or not I'm okay.

Janus: Yes, it does. I'm not sure why-

Roman: No, it doesn't. Don't you get it?! I have to be okay. I don't have a choice! I'm supposed to be their hero. Everyone thinks I'm so strong, well I'm not. I'm a weak coward. But the one thing being a coward has taught me is how to avoid my problems. How to just *snaps fingers* turn off my emotions. Place a glass screen between them and me. How to feel them without feeling them, like knowing something in the back of your mind without being aware of it

Janus: Because that sounds sooo healthy.

Roman: It's not. I know it's not. But I have no choice. I have to be their hero. I don't know how not to be. They never taught me how not to. It's all I ever was. It's all they ever expected from me. Whether they know it's what they expect or not, it has become my role. And if I don't do it, who will? Who will keep them safe? So what if it hurts? Life hurts. They hurt as well. They have their own problems, and I can help them with it. I have to. It's who I am.

Janus: *extremely concerned* Roman-

Roman: *continuing without notice* It's who I have to be. For them. I have to stay strong, even if I'm not. And I'm not. I'm really not. But I'm good at pretending. I saw they needed a hero, so I took that role. I didn't even realize I had taken the role at first. And now, now that I realize, it's my whole identity. It's the person I've become, the only value I have. It's all they know me as. And that's okay, because they need a hero.

Janus: That isn't okay. Listen-

Roman: I can be that hero. Their problems are worse, right? That's why they unintentionally forced me into this role. Because I dont have any major problems. So, who cares if I don't know how to fight for myself? I can fight for them. I'm their hero. I have to be.

Roman: *leaning on the wall, panting* It's who I am. It's my point of existence.

Janus: ... Oh, sweetheart. What have we done to you?

[whumpster-dumpster]

"Please, just leave me! It's not worth the risk, I'm not worth --"

"You should know by now, I'm always coming back for you."

[dreamgirljune]

i want to learn to look at myself the way i've come to look at the world. i get my breath taken away at the ever-constant, ever-changing sky. feel tears well in my eyes at the distant sound of children's laughter. but i can barely muster a smile at my own reflection. i have learned to love this world. to take the awful and the awe-inspiring and hold it close to my heart. one day, i will find space there for me too. i will wipe my own tears. tuck myself into bed. believe the good things about myself. smile at my reflection and mean it. i will hold myself in my arms, like the crying child i tried so hard not to be, and wonder: how could i have ever wanted to leave you?

[whumperofworlds]

Whumpee feels like they don't belong to the team, so without anyone knowing, they leave the team.

Unfortunately, Whumper took the chance to kidnap them and use them as bait for their team, and Whumpee protests that the team didn't care and the plan won't work.

To their surprise and horror, the team did come, all of them worried over Whumpee's disappearance. But they're going to fall in the trap Whumper set up for them.

[angeart]

hhau vex arc part I bonus: mating marks, vexes, and not being enough

a small ramble [860 words] about that one time kane talked to grian about mating marks. this is early on, once grian is growing more comfortable in the vex commune, enough to tentatively spend time with others, but far from him feeling understood or accepted. back when kane still doesn’t understand a thing about avians. (he’s trying. in his own ways.) 

the topic of mating marks comes up because, well, grian has one! he has a bite from scar, and now thanks to nico and kane (and them having matching marks from each other), he understands what it really is. and once they learn he has one too— well. that shows that scar really means it with his little avian! he's serious about him! but... it bothers kane.

and he speaks up about it, mostly just baffled. he's not trying to be mean or anything!

he makes a thoughtless comment to grian—when scar isn't around—about how he wouldn't want to not have a mating mark if his partner had one. he just finds it weird! placing a lot of importance on that level of trust that lets you bite and be bitten.

he continues digging the hole underneath grian's feet by asking, "is it unrequited or something?" he doesn't understand it at all, and in his confusion, struggling with the idea itself, he tacks on: "i'd think my mate doesn't love me if he didn't want to mark me."

because that's how it works with vexes! the bite marks are mutual, and intimate, and they play into their instincts, both ways! kane considers them integral for a mated vex pair, and some other vexes around echo this sentiment.

scar has a feather earring from grian, which is an avian mating ritual, but it's one that doesn't translate to other vexes. they have no idea about things like that! it doesn't make sense to them!

so when grian stammers that he gave scar a feather, nobody takes it seriously. kane doesn't get the gravity of that action at all, and anyway, scar isn't an avian!

kane insists that a feather isn't going to cut it with a vex. he tries to encourage grian to just bite, his advice coming from a place of good intentions. he's seen scar and grian interact plenty by now—including that one time grian jumped in harm's way to defend scar—and he really wants this to work out for them! he's well-meaning!

but grian can't do that. (regardless of some memories we're not going to mention here <3) he doesn't have fangs to smoothly pierce skin and leave a mark like that; doesn't even have the drive, doesn't want to hurt scar in any way.

he stresses about it plenty, though. it worms its way inside his head and now he's Worried about being a failure and a bad partner! because— well, he will always fail scar in this regard, won't he? (that's a thought that terrifies him to no end.)

he can't give him a mating mark. he'll never satisfy that instinct.

scar is honestly perfectly happy with how things are; he treasures the feather immensely and understands what it means. but grian's mind still spirals about this, nitpicks and pokes and prods until it feels wretched and awful.

because sure, scar is happy enough with the feather, but isn't that just a compromise? his vex instincts are a separate thing, and this doesn't touch them at all. it doesn't satisfy them.

and scar's doing so much for grian and his avian instincts! he tries to get high places for them, and helps making nests. he's careful around his wings, and on a rare occasion, preens them with so much gentle care. he tries to coo back when grian makes bird noises, even if it's a bit silly and awkward. basically, he caters to grian's instincts at every step, and... scar needs vex things, doesn't he?

he needs vex things, and grian can't bridge that gap and provide.

no matter how many avian things scar gives him, grian can't give anything back.

grian doesn't really know how to articulate all this. he just gets very upset and stressed, thinking he's doing things wrong, and scar will always be left with some innate longing for more.

but, even though scar spent time learning more deeply about his vex side at the commune, these things were never something he's needed. he went his whole life not knowing anything about vexes. now he knows, and he still wants to be just scar, first and foremost.

of course grian and scar settle this, eventually. they have a broken mess of a talk, and then a couple more, just to really drive the point home. scar understands the avian mating ritual for what it is, the way grian understands what the bite mark on his neck is. and it's enough! they don't need anything more! scar can't exactly give grian a feather either, so what?

as long as the two of them know what they have and are happy with it, who cares what the others think?

there’s one point in particular that scar makes, when grian expresses worrying about not being enough for scar’s vex instincts. softly, he reminds him that he gave grian that mark long before he had any idea it was a vex ritual. 

it was a them thing first and foremost, before it was anything else.

(and he’d like a bruised ring from a hickey just as much as a bite. he’s a smitten fool.)

[addictedtodissociation]

im such a shitty person i don't deserve anything

[forgetmesunflower]

Smoked Scotch

“Well, that hurts my feelings a little, but I can't say I don't understand. My appearance was a rare occurrence back then.” “I apologize. I happen to know a lot of people,” he said eventually. She smiled. “I'm beginning to learn that.” ‘Back then,’ she had said. ── Someone familiar joins Jason at the bar.

AI-less Whumptober: Day 10 - Self worth issues | Pushing away a loved one | “You don't need to earn this.”

Rating: Teen Words: 2.1k, 1/1 Relationships: Jason Todd & Kate Kane

[sweet7simple]

Hi

Sooo dratchrod thoughts on Rodimus secretly waiting for Drift and ratchet to realize what a nuisance he is and that he’s too much and he’s just waiting until they tire of him and leave?

Ah, but Rodimus is smart. Not smart in the ways Megatron and Ultra Magnus sometimes wishes he was, but he's smart when it comes to knowing what bots want. So, yeah, Ratchet and Drift might not be planning on keeping him, but he's going to make it damn hard for them to let him go.

He can just not be a nuisance. Easy. It's so easy. He's going to be perfect for them and they'll never know he's a little bit too much. Or, they'll forget he's a little bit too much since they kind of already know him. What he's getting at is that he change! He can be the partner they want.

He knows the right way to touch them, the right thing to say. He knows when to back off and sleep in his own hab suite during their off-shift and he knows when to crawl into their circuit slab and stay. He's watching them closer than a hungry turbo fox watched a skittish cyber bunny.

The moment they look or sound like they're tired of him, he's ready to bail. He's not going to stick around and scrounge off the meager, reluctant remains of their affection for him. But they're not going to get tired of him because he's doing everything right, see?

He's making all the pretty sounds they like to hear in the berth He tops when they want to bottom, he bottoms when they want to top, and he tugs their wires when they're in the mood and he bares his spark when they ask to play with it (and that's fine. They're so gentle with the scarred core of his being. It makes him want to be even better for them when they kiss the warped parts of his spark chamber. They say they love him, all he has to do is make sure they don't fall out of love with him).

He's helping them foam down and dry off in the wash racks. He's polishing their armor while they sing his praises. He's trading ship chores with Swerve to get the spiced energon that makes Ratchet vent softly and go soft in the optics like he's remembering some distant, wonderful memory. He's putting Drift on the geology teams for away missions so that he can collect crystals that resonate with him and he's sitting there, listening to Drift go off about the supposed properties of each one even though they're all just rocks to Rodimus.

He's being so good. He's on his best behavior. He's doing fine, thanks for asking, not tired at all of feeling like he's speeding down the galaxy's flimsiest bridge over the deepest pit in existence. It's not like he has panic attacks any time he makes Ratchet mad or Drift gets upset with him because he's Rodimus and he still frags up when it comes to being a (co) captain and a friend and a lover. It's not like he sometimes spirals when he's in his own hab suite, practically vibrating out of his armor because he wants them so bad, but he can't go to them. He stayed over their last off-shift together and they're going to want time to themselves now and they can't know how needy he is.

He's being so good. They won't leave if he's good.

He doesn't have to be too much. He can be just right for them. Watch. It's easy.

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Whumpril 2024 - Day 9 - Self-Doubt

Rex is still @cyberwhumper's boy and Vic still belongs to @bxtterflystxtches !! Vic also still has self-worth issues, oops c: This takes place in a fun little military au we have going on!

TWs: self-depreciation, self-worth issues, gun mention, military setting, nightmares, near death experiences referenced, magical exhaustion/overload mentioned

Click click click

They were at it again. Rex and Mariano were doing weapon maintenance. Victory's jaw tensed, looking back at his own gun. It didn't matter, he could still see them. He could see Mariano say something. He could see Rex laugh.

That made something in his gut twist.

It didn't matter. Mariano was Rex's spotter, they needed to do weapon maintenance together. He knew that. It didn't mean anything.

Click click click

It could mean everything. His own hands slowed and his eyes drifted back to the pair as he watched Mariano take the sniper rifle from Rex--Rex's baby, and start disassembling and reassembling it.

It was fluid, and smooth, and deliberate, like everything else the kid did. He made it look effortless. He made it look as easy as breathing. Just like his magic. He could summon plasma that rivaled the sun, clean and pure and brilliant, without so much as a stutter. He could jog miles and miles casually, before morning formation. He could handle Big Dog's big gun as effortlessly as the man himself did.

Click click click

Mariano was good. Good enough to be the wolf's eyes on the field, good enough to be a war mage, to bear those scars from training. He was barely nineteen. Victory's jaw ached.

His hands were scarred, too. Maybe not as deep or as dark, but he had them. His arms still bore the marks of blade training, and torch training. He wondered if they'd ever fade--the dreams sure hadn't. He could still feel Luis' careful touch as clearly as if he'd just left the training room. The hand that slid along his back as he knelt over the metal table, eighteen and furious and terrified.

Click click click

Luis' voice never felt that far away, either, as Mariano's low voice drifted through the open air. Luis had more of a lilt to his voice, he was more emotive overall, but Victory could still hear the similarities. It leached into his nightmares, that calm, even voice of Mariano's and his impassive dark eyes boring into Vic's very soul as his magic shorted and overwhelmed him, as he underwent a nearly-lethal internal meltdown.

Mariano watched him, in those dreams. He watched Victory Montez die on the bloodied training room floor with hardly a whisper of concern. He judged him as he faded, lightning still crackling hot at his fingertips and vision blurry. He watched as Victory Montez washed out of the war mage program, and began to wash out of life itself.

He watched as Victory proved to everyone that he'd never be enough.

The kid was watching him now, Victory realized with a start. Rex was, too. Both of them had stopped what they were doing, and it took a moment longer for Victory to realize that the shitty light bulb above his head was flickering. Face burning, he waved a hand dismissively and started packing his own things away.

The weight of their eyes was just too much to bear. He felt his chest aching, felt the crackle of his own magic racing around in his blood. He couldn't be Mariano. Not as he was, anyway.

He just needed to train more, is all. A few more hours at the shooting range. Going on more runs.

He could be good.

He could be brilliant, even.

He would show everyone just how brilliant he could be.

@lektricwhump @cyberwhumper @bxtterflystxtches @inscrutable-shadow @honeybees-125 @whumperofworlds

[minimindi]

Microfic May Day 17: worthy

@microficmay

[firewolf111]

Roman is sitting in his room, working on a project while reading comments. A shadowy figure creeps in the corner, watching and whispering insecurities, unnoticed, as it had been for a while. This time, it reveals itself.

???: Hello, Creativity.

Roman: *jumping up and turning to face the figure, sword summoned in his hand* Who are you?!

???: Oh my dear, who I am is unimportant. What matters is who you are.

Roman: What do you mean?

???: I mean that I've been... keeping an eye on you for a while now.

Roman: You've been stalking me?!

???: I guess that's one way you could refer to it, if you wish. I prefer... gathering information.

Roman: I'm pretty sure that's what stalking is.

???: The specifics are irrelevant. Much like you.

Roman: What?

???: Oh, you sweet little dear. Haven't you noticed. They don't need you, much less want you. You are worthless to them. To everyone, I'm afraid.

Roman: *sputtering* What?! No, I'm not.

???: Are you sure~

Roman: *opening and closing his mouth* I mean... surely...of course they...

???: You don't sound so sure of yourself. I think you know how little you are worth. You know the truth. Stop lying to yourself. You are nothing.

Roman: That's....That's not true!

???: Isn't it?

Roman: ...I...

???: Exactly. You are worthless. You are useless. You have no point of existing. Your existence is meaningless. You are nothing but a burden. Do them a favor, and leave.

???: *outstretches his hand* Let me take away your pain. Let me take it all away. They would be better without you anyway.

And Roman believes him. He's been telling himself the same things for a while. He was all that and more. He was a mistake.

He stretches out his arm, ready to take the mysterious figure's hand. He almost does, until a notification pops up on the screen beside him. It's a new comment that appears up at the top of the feed he was scrolling through. He gives it a brief glance before it immediately draws him in.

"This video was so well timed. I've been having a terrible week. I was really struggling. But then this video came out and I feel so much better. You always talk about serious topics in a lighthearted way that's so easy to understand and relate to. It has seriously helped me through some tough times. Thanks man, keep up the great videos. And props to Roman for the vid idea ;). Have a great day! <3"

It makes him freeze. Even though he knows the commenter meant it as a joke when they thanked him, made obvious by the winking face, it still was kinda true. It was his job to come up with video ideas. The very video ideas that helped the commenter out.

He stands and stares at the comment for a second before he pulls back his arm and tucks it at his side. He looks back at the figure.

Roman: You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I am all those things you've said. And maybe the others would be better without me. *He glances back at the screen.*

Roman: But if I can make a difference, even to one person, I think I can justify my existence.

[monstersandmaw]

I'm literally in love with your chronic sad boi drow but i have a feeling that if our tav's were in the same room, my tav (tiefling barbarian) would bully him 😭

He'd definitely let himself get bullied 😭.

Kaerlyn only really develops a backbone when someone else (other than him) is being picked on or threatened (tiefling kids in the grovel, a goblin in a cage, even gnolls under mind control). But when it's him, sadly, he'll let people just walk all over him and trample him into the dirt. He's got very low self-esteem, and almost no sense of self-worth. If he's doing things for people, he's useful and valued, but he sees nothing of inherent value in himself worth standing up for. 😭

I kind of headcanon that Halsin rolls his eyes when he sees it start happening and literally picks Kaerlyn up by the scruff of his neck like a wet puppy and hauls him away before he can let himself get hurt or taken advantage of.

[whumpster-dumpster]

I see your Royal Whumpees and I applaud them but see also: Royal Caretaker, giving Whumpee all the luxuries of royal treatment while they heal, and Whumpee finally considering the idea that they may be worthy of good things (while also trying not to let themself hope, wondering if it's all just a manipulation or a fantasy and they'll be kicked to the curb as soon as they can stand)

[royjamieprompts]

Roy/Jamie prompt: Roy making Jamie call himself an ugly ugly boy with bad hair actually embeds itself into his mind and has him thinking the worst of himself. So when Roy makes the first move and says he actually wants to be with Jamie, Jamie has a full-blown panic attack and asks Roy why, why does he want to be with him when he's ugly? Roy's sick with guilt when he realizes how deeply he's hurt the man he's in love with. He's gonna do everything in his power to undo the damage and make Jamie realize how gorgeous he really is, inside and out.

Jamie is extremely confident about many things, but he does sometimes get too much in his head. He respects Roy's opinion enough that this really messes with him.

(This reminds me too that I saw someone ask somewhere if he got the walnut mist look because of Roy saying this 🤔)

[rosehipandroots]

“The San Francisco therapist kept telling me I shouldn’t be terrified of creative experimentation. “I don’t know what’s going to come out of me,” I told her. “It has to be perfect. It has to be irreproachable in every way.” “Why?” she said. “To make up for it,” I said. “To make up for the fact that it’s me.” ― Suzanne Rivecca

thinkin bout this lately

aka CAN I PLEASE JUST WRITE FOR FUCKS SAKE

[ricihh]

STUDRACO DAY!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

Rating: E

Fandom: Brawl Stars

Relationship: Draco/Stu

Main Tags: Oneshot, Smut, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Robot Sex, Aftercare, Self-Esteem Issues, Reassuring of Feelings, Robot/Human Relationship

Warnings: None!

Summary: Sometimes, when the weight of many years as a stuntman takes its toll on Stu, all he needs is a little care and love.

Luckily for him, Draco is there to provide what he needs.