#when your role is the family mediator and therapist

[firewolf111]

Projecting onto Roman time!

Janus: Are you okay?

Roman: I'm fine.

Janus: You know, for some reason, I do believe you.

Roman: *growing frustrated* Well, what do you want me to say?

Janus: The truth.

Roman: *chuckling* That's ironic coming from you.

Janus: *sighs* I didn't come here to fight, so if you could just-

Roman: Just what? Huh? You know what?! *throws hands up in the air* Fine. You want the truth?!

Janus: Yes. That isn't what I asked for.

Roman: The truth is that it doesn't matter whether or not I'm okay.

Janus: Yes, it does. I'm not sure why-

Roman: No, it doesn't. Don't you get it?! I have to be okay. I don't have a choice! I'm supposed to be their hero. Everyone thinks I'm so strong, well I'm not. I'm a weak coward. But the one thing being a coward has taught me is how to avoid my problems. How to just *snaps fingers* turn off my emotions. Place a glass screen between them and me. How to feel them without feeling them, like knowing something in the back of your mind without being aware of it

Janus: Because that sounds sooo healthy.

Roman: It's not. I know it's not. But I have no choice. I have to be their hero. I don't know how not to be. They never taught me how not to. It's all I ever was. It's all they ever expected from me. Whether they know it's what they expect or not, it has become my role. And if I don't do it, who will? Who will keep them safe? So what if it hurts? Life hurts. They hurt as well. They have their own problems, and I can help them with it. I have to. It's who I am.

Janus: *extremely concerned* Roman-

Roman: *continuing without notice* It's who I have to be. For them. I have to stay strong, even if I'm not. And I'm not. I'm really not. But I'm good at pretending. I saw they needed a hero, so I took that role. I didn't even realize I had taken the role at first. And now, now that I realize, it's my whole identity. It's the person I've become, the only value I have. It's all they know me as. And that's okay, because they need a hero.

Janus: That isn't okay. Listen-

Roman: I can be that hero. Their problems are worse, right? That's why they unintentionally forced me into this role. Because I dont have any major problems. So, who cares if I don't know how to fight for myself? I can fight for them. I'm their hero. I have to be.

Roman: *leaning on the wall, panting* It's who I am. It's my point of existence.

Janus: ... Oh, sweetheart. What have we done to you?

[jupitersdoll]

Possible Career Paths for the Sun Signs🌞

As I explained in my second Astro Observations post, the sign and house your sun is in can tell you where you naturally shine best. Working in a career where you stand out naturally can benefit you in many ways because when work does not feel like work, you have more room to thrive.

Sun in Aries/1H - Management, Military, Self-Employed Entrepreneur, Acting*, Modeling.

Sun in Taurus/2H - Banking, Finance, Singing*, Chef, Real Estate.

Sun in Gemini/3H - Writer, Radio/Podcast, Middle Education Teacher (ages 7-14), Athlete*, Entertainment Critic

Sun in Cancer/4H* - Family trade (Nepotism), Early Education Teacher (ages newborn to 7), Interior Decoration, Family Therapist, Historian

Sun in Leo/5H - Entertainer, Relationship Therapist/Dating Coach, Film Director/Producer, Youth Advocate, Late Education Teacher (ages 14-18)

Sun in Virgo/6H - Healthcare, Social Work, Human Resources, Comedian, Politician

Sun in Libra/7H - Lawyer, Mediator, At-Home work, Visual Artist*, Business Owner

Sun in Scorpio/8H* - Insurance Agent, Funeral Services, Sex Therapist, Addiction Counselor, Acting*

Sun in Sagittarius/9H - Theology, Post-Grade School Education (ages 18 and over), Travel Agent, Life Coach, Blogger

Sun in Capricorn/10H* - Business Leadership (ex: C-Suite), Family Trade (self-starting), Board Member, Politics, Entertainment Executive

Sun in Aquarius/11H* - Socialite/Influencer, Entertainer, Entrepreneur (with others), Humanitarian, Project Manager

Sun in Pisces/12H* - Psychologist, Executor, Jail/Prison Employee, Artist*, Occult Worker

Notes: 

Actors, Singers, and Artists are usually found in all houses, but the work they go towards depends on the house they’re in. For example, Actors in Leo/5H tend to go for lighthearted roles like Will Smith, while Actors in Scorpio/8H tend to have darker-themed roles like Nicole Kidman.

Sun in Aquarius/11H can usually succeed in whatever career they venture into if they have passion for it because the 11H rules over hopes and dreams. It’s why most celebrities have 11H Sun.

Sun in Cancer/4H, Scorpio/8H, and Pisces/12H tend to have more mysterious or behind-the-scenes careers because the Sun prefers the attention to be on their work rather than on the person themselves.

Sun in Gemini/3H is good with athletics because the 3H is a social house along with 7H and 11H. Also, most professional athletes or athletic employees learn multiple languages to tend to their teams, which are made up of people from different cultures.

Sun in Capricorn/10H careers usually take time which is why the careers I listed are mostly leadership positions. These natives are ambitious so not being in charge is not a good direction for their sun energy.

Follow for more Astrology and Intuitive Content, readings are available! 💛

Tagged: @222-justfornow-333 @nummer626 @bcjkxs @starry-sky01 @mercurydombaby

[flightfoot]

Thank you for creating a space for me to safely share my thoughts about PJO! Hermes. I really appreciate it and please let me know if I need to stop sharing. I'll understand. I would not want you to be uncomfy. Thanks again. Ok, here we go.

I think Hermes' dynamic amongst the Olympians and minor deities is that of a mediator (based off his diplomacy domain). Not to mention, he works for his family in a sense.

When you're working for your family, you have two roles (family member and employee). Over the years, for Hermes, it's become more employee than family (in the other gods' eyes). Hermes still very much views them as family with an important duty to serve them but the others don't see it the same.

Hermes keeps putting out fires. Even in situations he's not directly involved in. He keeps the peace between Demeter and Hades (over Persephone), Zeus and Hera (over kingdom and marriage), Zeus and Poseidon (domain/power conflicts), and his rowdy siblings with each other and their father respectively. That's not even including the issues with the minor gods either.

His job is to be the calming and cheerful presence that looks on the bright side as a way to help others with their concerns and worries. With Dionysus (god connected to mental health and another cheerful presence) banished to camp and Iris' most recent retirement, he now has his hands full. He's taking on more messenger duties and trying to be a mediator (+ family therapist).

Hermes struggles with asking for time off to recharge because if he does he's not failing some CEO he doesn't know; he's failing his family. The world. How can he justify a break with stakes that high?

He's not even sure who he is anymore because he's so busy taking on everybody else's problems in addition to his own. He feels like he's inadvertently absorbing pieces of others' personalities into himself. That he's wearing so many hats and doing so much that he can't really take a moment to process and reflect on himself.

It's neglecting his kids. It's ultimately ruining his remaining relationships and his health. He just can't stop. Why?

Because he's scared that if he stops working, he'll lose all of his value in other beings' eyes. Who would love him if he was no longer of service? What if someone(s) got hurt or became distressed? They had another meaningless war because he couldn't cool tempers? He can't lose his family, there all he has. Except he doesn't really have any does he? His workaholism driving them away.

He loves what he does, but he could use a nap. He's exhausted and emotionally drained but their smiles are worth it right? He can neglect his inner child and relationships outside of work for the greater good right?

His family is slowing becoming his job completely. No longer family. Except Hermes is a bit oblivious to that part.

He lies through his teeth that he's fine. Using socially acceptable lies as a way to calm tensions and work on patching up relationships. "You look great in that dress, Hera." No not really (in truth). Manipulating and managing schedules like a personal assistant.

Zeus knows that he controls Hermes. He's no threat. Hermes is even being treated a bit more like a minor god with his cabin being disrespected at camp. Being pulled into work constantly by Zeus.

"Work it harder, better, faster, stronger. Our work is never over." - Daft Punk.

Yeah this fits, from what we see of Hermes, he seems to just be viewed and used as an employee by his family, not so much as a person. He's pretty jaded to how corrupt and unchangeable they are, pretty self-aware, but he also still clings to hope when Percy suggests that gods can change. I can see him trying to keep things civil from the inside, trying to help everyone and stop any major conflicts from erupting, and burning himself out in the process.

[fan-clan-fun]

Hello! I love this blog and always come to it for inspiration!

Right now my current fan project takes place in a post apocalyptic future where cats are going through their own Stone Age and using tools, very simple like clay bowls, antler and stone knives, learning to control and use fire, etc.. (I wanted to get rid of humans as the idea of sentient humans owning sentient cats doesn’t sit well with me) Instead of Clans they’re called Guards, and they each protect a small place of power within their territory from outsiders, relations between guards are actually pretty good and they allow cats to move Guards when necessary and encourage friendships and rivalries between cats.

Their leadership is loosely based on British Monarchy, with a ‘King and Queen’ (called Commander and Consort) and a ‘parliament’ of skilled cats who advise the commander (usually the Commander ends up picking his mentor and his parents perhaps some friends but his choices have to be approved by the Oracle so they don’t choose untrained or unliked cats) they do have a ‘Deputy’ but they are now called ‘Second’, Seconds are usually the oldest most promising heir from the Commander and consort, or a cat the Oracle and Advisors (elders) choose.

I tried to base the culture heavily on succession and mentorship, passing knowledge down, so it’s considered an honor to be given the same or similar suffix as your mentor. Cats are also apprenticed differently, becoming apprentices at 3 moons, early into training is just going over the code, games that teach them skills, and when they reach 7 moons they choose which guild they want to join (they can change their mind whenever but it’s uncommon)

The Guards are larger than Clans in general and have unique ranks, Guardians are warriors, a focus on fighting and hunting, regularly do patrols, switch amongst the territory camps to help protect them, especially camps that may not have a lot of fighters. Next are Crafters, cooking falls into crafting, but they also make satchels, knives, rudimentary traps, toys, as well as den maintenance. Then I have Ambassadors, I condensed them with one of the healer positions, ‘Speaker’ as they essentially do the same thing, Ambassadors are outside relations and Speakers were inside relations, but now they’re basically the guard therapists that also mediates with other Guards and groups. Mentors are pretty self explanatory, while every cat should get the chance to experience the bond between mentor and apprentice, these cats spend a lot of time with the young cats before 7 moons and pick their mentors according to personality and desired skill. My personal favorite are my Keepers, they keep track of history and familial relations, they’re essentially Perma-queens with a huge role in keeping bloodlines clear and recording history, they’re rarely storytellers but often parents. Lastly I have a sort of unique rank for each guard, usually something to do with the unique dangers each territory presents, (ie Mount Guard has an ‘Avalancher’ who after mountain slides they take a count of all the cats and go out searching for those missing)

I hope this isn’t too long, I got really excited seeing you pop up on my notifications again, I might send another ask going over healers or some of the unique customs the Guard cats practice.

I'm so sorry this took me so long to answer, truth is I've been answering most of these on mobile, so the longest ones have taken me a lot longer to get to, thank you for your patience in that!

I'm always curious how people plan on going about settings with cats and tools, as it's something that could be very interesting. Ultimately it requires a liiiittle suspension of disbelief, but I find sometimes that can be more fun.

Some of these concepts I've actually used or considered using myself before, so I am perhaps a bit biased when I say I enjoy them. I'm curious, do the commander and their consort often fulfill certain roles? Is it exclusively to produce kits for the next generation of leadership? Or is it more of a partnership than that?

I do have some clarifying curiosities, are the Guards the replacements for Clans? Or are there both?

So many fun different roles, and I like that you call them guilds. Once upon a time I wanted to do something similar, with a bunch of different ranks, each with their own little group of suffixes to denote their rank/guild, and when you apprenticed, you chose which guild to join. Seems like you could make it work well with your system.

I also think apprenticing that young, as long as they aren't fighting, makes sense. The bigger kits would likely require extra effort to keep busy, as they are pretty large at that point, so adding a few moons of education in camp before going out makes perfect sense.

Thanks for sending this in! Sounds like you have thought this all out pretty well, keep working hard and having fun!

[kindheart525]

One of the worst parts of Triple Threat’s hospital stay, among all the…other stuff, was the homesickness she felt. She missed her family even more than she did when she was away at school. So she’d been looking forward to family therapy for days, when she could finally see her parents again.

“It’s not the same without you around, T! I can’t be the only one tip-tapping around the house!”

Her parents didn’t hide how much they missed her, but they kept the conversation lighthearted to start. 

“Well, hopefully it won’t be too long!”

TT did her best to match their cheer, but it made her sad to think about when she was still in the thick of her treatment.

“It’d better not, I’ve been aching to see my grandfilly!”

Her grandmare, Jive Honey, was also here to see her! As she lovingly squished her cheeks in the way only a grandmare could, TT couldn’t help but feel better.

“Why don’t you sit down? Make yourselves comfortable.”

The family therapist guided the four ponies to some seats. TT sat down first, then her mom, and her dad and Nana decided to stand next to Sweetie’s chair so they could be closer together.

“How is everypony feeling today?”

TT wasn’t sure how honest she wanted to be, she had a lot of conflicting feelings that would be hard to unpack. But before she could even attempt to do that, her mom was the first to answer.

“Not a day goes by where we don’t miss you a ton! Sometimes I want to find those ponies who made you feel like you had to do this to yourself and give them a good talking-to about how mean they’ve been.”

Sweetie was getting right into it, and honestly Triple Threat was a bit shaken by her manner. It also didn’t seem like she was getting the point; she’d forgotten half of her castmates’ and casting directors’ names by now so the individuals weren’t really her concern right now.

Tender Taps was used to his wife being oblivious or tactless on occasion, so he offered his daughter some comfort himself. 

“Well, what matters is that you’re safe and getting better.”

“I’m working on it, Daddy.”

TT gripped his hoof in hers, looking between him and the therapist for affirmation.

“I just can’t believe this happened!”

Sweetie kept going on. 

“I know how much it stings to have ponies poke fun at you. I thought I’d never see the end of it until I finally got my cutie mark. But were a few pokes and jabs enough to do this? To drive you to quit school and make yourself sick?”

“Now I’m not sure it works quite like that—“

“Being a blank flank isn’t the same, Mom.”

TT snarked in reply before her grandmare could defend her. Something about her mom’s attitude was really ticking her off.

“And it wasn’t a few pokes and jabs. They were making me the butt of the joke in every production all because of my weight!”

“Everypony gets bad roles sometimes, don’t they? Especially when they’re just starting out like you!”

Sweetie was really trying to be comforting, but as she went on it was clear she just wasn’t.

“You’re the most talented filly we know, if you’d just stuck it out a little longer the good roles were sure to come.”

The therapist knew very well that this young mare was coming from a family with unresolved tensions as she watched all this unfold, so she did what she was trained to do and tried to mediate.

“Triple Threat, how does this make you feel?”

The sheer ignorance of her mom’s statement was about as big a slap in the face as all the “bad roles” TT got. It made her feel even worse than she felt coming into this meeting, but now she was angry. She practically ignored her therapist as she shot back:

“You’ve clearly never been told not to shoot too high. You don’t know what it’s like to be left out by your castmates at every turn or cast as a damn farting warthog!”

Once she let out this curse, everypony knew it was getting real.

“You have no problem making sure everypony sees your talent. And you clearly have no problem giving your opinions on things you clearly know nothing about!”

“I know more than you think! Right after I had you, my body—“

“—Is HALF my size!”

With this, Triple Threat buried her face in her hooves and resisted the urge to scream. 

As this roast between mother and daughter went on, Tender could hardly quell them. He looked to his mother, silently pleading for her to have a solution. And luckily she did.

“How about we go outside for awhile and give TT some time to visit with Tendy?”

She looked to the therapist.

“Is that allowed?”

The therapist, in turn, looked to her patient.

“If you are okay with it.”

“Yes, please, just get out of here!”

TT cried out, refusing to make eye contact with her mother.

Sweetie was about to protest but it was no use, she had already said more than enough. So she followed her mother-in-law out of the therapist’s office, leaving her daughter still grappling with all the insecurities she passed down to her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Lead a Horse to Water Next: Half-Pity

Sweetie Belle’s cutie mark by Dropple-RD

[chelseaxtaylor]

[cis female and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [CHELSEA TAYLOR]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [KATIE DOUGLAS]. You must be the [ TWENTY ONE] year old [COLLEGE STUDENT AND BARISTA AT DRIFTWOOD COFFEE SHOP]. Word is you’re [PERCEPTIVE ] but can also be a bit [CONDESCENDING] and your favorite song is [BLINDFOLDED BY AGAINST THE CURRENT]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it! ( @aurorabayaesthetic )

S T A T I S T I C S

GENERAL

NAME: Chelsea Taylor

AGE: 21

HEIGHT: 5'0

BIRTHDAY: January 8th

OCCUPATION: Barista at Driftwood Coffee Shop & (Psychology) student

TIME IN AURORA BAY: About three years (though traveled home in between and has been back for a year)

PERSONALITY

MBTI: INFJ

ENNEAGRAM: 9w8

TEMPERAMENT: Melancholic

ZODIAC: Capricon Sun, Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Rising

B I O G R A P H Y

( TW: Mental Illness, Death (parental), Suicide, Emotional Abuse/Neglect )

Adapting to chaos was a skill that developed far to quickly for Chelsea. Between her parents relationship and resigning to the role of couple's therapist before she could even walk, to never fully unpacking since it was only a matter of time her father decided it was time for a "fresh start", she never quite comprehended what it meant to stand on solid ground. Instead, she became the "glue" to keep everyone around her from crumbling apart. Mediating each conflict, pointing out the gray and the "other side" to ensure that everyone was feeling heard and understood, all while she and her needs would fade to the background. and most importantly learning to bury any of her own emotions that often arose. There was no room for her to fall apart. Not when her brothers were getting in trouble in school at least once a week, or when she had to be the one to stay up with her father all night to make sure they both saw the sun in the morning. In many ways, Chelsea became more of a "parent" to her father than he was to her. By middle school, she grew accustomed to keeping track of his appointments, meetings, making sure he was taking care of himself. After so long of overexerting herself for her father, she couldn't help but feel a growing resentment fester towards the other members of her family. How could her brothers act like nothing was wrong and instead be so caught up in their own lives that they could be so apathetic to their father struggling? How could her mother walk out on him when he was at his lowest, only to come and go as she pleased and at her own convenience, oblivious to the wounds she'd tear open in the process that were just starting to heal in her absence? Yet with all of her anger, it hadn't occurred to her that another question she should have been asking was "how could her own father mistake his child for a therapist, and place the impossible weight of his own well being and safety on her shoulders?" To this day, Chelsea hadn't let herself direct more than the tiniest bit of frustration towards her father, and she'd still jump to his defense any time someone would point out the uneven dynamics. After all, if she wasn't there to take care of him, who would? It was a surprise to no one when she decided to major in psychology. Even outside of any familial dynamics, she was the designated "therapist" friend and always had a drive to help and understand others. It wouldn't be a strange sight to see Chelsea in the library at an ungodly hour, enthralled as she read through psychology journals detailing various studies and findings. She moved to Aurora Bay for college, originally residing in the dorms. She was still in regular contact with her father, more worried about him than her own studies most nights. ( TW: Death / Suicide ) At the start of her sophomore year, she got a call in the middle of the night from her older brother, urging Chelsea to come home since the previous night, their father had took his life. She took leave of absence from school, only to return the next semester because diving headfirst in her studies felt more manageable than confronting grief and all of it's complexities in the face. Chelsea hadn't even told anyone in town why she left so suddenly and returned as though not a day had past - she just continued on as though nothing was out of the ordinary, doing everything in her power push through her own emotions.

P E R S O N A L I T Y / M I S C

Chelsea is very much the "I will offer advice, but don't expect me to practice what I preach" kind of person. In fact, she may often come across as condescending since she tries to convey herself as someone who has it "all together" and forgets to let that facade slip just enough to prevent it from sounding like she's thinking she's above those who have yet to see the "red flags" of a situation/behavior/person. She may give off the illusion that she's very open. Although she is soft spoken in nature, she welcomes striking up a conversation with a stranger, and is even more eager to opt out of small talk and jump right into "tell me about your deepest fears". In many ways, however, Chelsea sees herself more of a mirror than anything. A listening ear and someone to reflect back one's own thoughts as they work through conflicts within their lives, but offering little substance about herself as a person. It often creates a strange dynamic where people come to the realization that Chelsea knows so much about them, yet they barely know her. However, once someone manages to break down her walls and defenses, she'll often ping pong between the urge to run for the hills and cling on for dear life to the one person who makes her feel understood. After so long of putting her own self on the back burner, so much so that she feels like a stranger in her own skin at times, she has a deep yearning for be seen, yet it equally terrifies her.

W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S

Childhood Friends - Chelsea is very tightlipped when it pertains to anything relating to her past/family, so it could be interesting for her to have someone who has seen her through her ups and downs and been a sort of confidant throughout it. Kind of like the one person Chelsea never fully managed to push away no matter how hard she may have tried. Ex's ( romantic or platonic ) - Let's just say Chelsea felt very called out when Conan Gray said "I cut people out like tags on my clothing. I end up all alone but I still keep hoping" Stargazers - Kind of a "two lost people finding each other" vibes. Maybe they both are late night regulars at "all night diner" and they've grown comfortable in each other's silence as they decompress after long days. Family Members - She has one younger (npc) and older brother. She's pretty close with her younger brother, but her and her older brother have a pretty tense relationship since he and their father were constantly butting heads while Chelsea was the one left to pick up the pieces (mainly to put her father "back together" ) afterwards. I'd also be open to any extended family connections though! Classmates / study buddies

[ina-nis]

I don’t remember where exactly I read it but a few days ago I saw a post or article talking about socialization and your usual advice, etc... and something was striking for me, and I noticed that was one of the common elements in all my issues with disconnection.

Yes, absolutely, I have peers and friends in several communities and I still consider these relationships superficial at best. I don’t have any close friends or close family anymore, or anyone I can trust. I see my roommates, family, doctors, therapist and any other people I see/seen regularly from a distance, the respect is mutual, but there’s not any deep connection whatsoever.

All these people exist in their contained spaces and, very, very rarely, things do bleed elsewhere.

One of the issues I’ve hit my head against the most when trying to approach people and keep a close relationship with them was the fact that I feel like I could not “seep” into their lives.

For example, I always dealt with them prioritizing their careers/jobs - understandably so, there’s bills to pay, food to buy and whatever else that costs money - and when they did have time, they were too tired to socialize. But, they did socialize with people already in their lives, their families, their partners, their friends who live nearer, and so on... so I was left with whatever else they had, with whatever energy they still had and, or course, it was not much.

This was just one example, there’s many.

I noticed and I can see now that there was always something, and the connection would never get far because I’d have to jump through so many hops to, maybe, be able to be there for them. It was not worth it because of how one-sided it always felt.

What really hurts is the fact that, because I don’t really have much going on I guess, it was not interesting enough for others to try to “seep” into my life themselves.

I felt like it was always me who had to take the first step.

I felt like it was always me who had to go there and make it happen.

Because I’m like a blank slate - it’s “easier” when you don’t have a career or a job, or friends, or family, or... anything really. You’re fluid like water, you can do anything, you can change constantly and you can fit with ease.

Obviously, that only made things one-sided.

Perhaps, I’m in this perpetual blank slate due to AvPD and the “cure” would be to become someone like them (and then I would be a blank slate no more).

The disconnection also comes from an unsaid competition against whatever other people have going on in their lives, that I have no chance of winning.

To make matters worse, being a “blank slate” isn’t exactly great after all: there’s not much for people to “seep” into - in my case, it’s a lot virtual and solitary things.

I guess I come with this neon sign saying “I do not need people in my life” that others probably catch on quickly - it’s true, I really don’t need other people - and that all might drive people away too. Either that or being in the role of a helper/therapist/mediator/teacher/parent, which is awful as well.

In the end (I feel like) my gaming buddies will remain gaming buddies, same with the Tumblr mutuals, the writing friends, the artists, the queer people in the local queer org, and so and so...there’s really not a lot I can do, I don’t think.

The relationships will exist perpetually in these enclosed spaces and won’t bleed elsewhere. When that does happen, I learn quickly that people don’t really have the time or energy to dedicate to “new” connections (even if we know each other for years).

You can move your world for them, because your world comes with you, you have no roots anywhere anyway, but they’re unable to do the same for you, you have to fit in their lives, you have to fit in their schedule, you have to be there in whatever way fits their lives best, whenever they have the energy or time.

And you can’t complain.

You can’t ask for more - if it’s so bad for you, you can just leave, meaning... there’s not really much space for you in the way you want.

It’s always the way they want.

If you ask for compromises, if you state your needs, if you disclose how your personality disorder affects you and the way you interact with others, you “need to take that to therapy” and you’re really asking too much, who has the time for that?

Who has the time for you? That’s so selfish of you! What about their needs, what about their compromises and mental illnesses?

You should make time for them, not otherwise. You have a lot of free time anyway, don’t you?

...

How frustrating...

Even though I’ve been putting a lot of effort in have more going on for me, it still happens in isolation. It’s still things that I do in solitude and require little or no money. It’s mostly things online too.

Maybe somewhere in my heart I always try to keep mindful of making space for others, despite it all...

Because to me, the relationships with other people in my life would be a priority. Not a job nor anything else: people.

That’s why I can understand why others do it this way.

And it’s what makes it all the more painful: because I’m not considered for that. I always feel like a backup plan, always feel like a convenience, always feel like an addition to something already established.

I’m never standalone, there’s never someone looking me in the eye and picking me because they want me. There’s always a catch. Of course that rarely happened, and now it never does anyway.

I don’t know what to do, but at least I managed to articulate these feelings better. I hope, maybe, something will come out of it...

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: I'm an ISTP (21F), and I have a bad relationship with my parents, especially my mother (ESXX, 56). As far as I know, all of these problems came from me and my unresolved problems (I've read your explanation, and sadly I'm an immature ISTP and deep in the maw of tertiary function loop and inferior function grip. I'm still working to fix this). Everyday without fail I would always have a fight with my mother. It's a silent fight from me and a shouting one from my mother. That's problem number one.

Problem number two comes from my siblings. My mother is an extrovert who can't shut her mouth to save her life, so when she has family problems and can't resolve it with the person who caused it, she bring the problems to the rest of the family. My father(ISTP 59), my brother(1st child, ISXX 30), my sister(2st daughter, INTJ 28), and my twin (INTP 21F). My father used to just scold me, my brother and my twin straight ignoring all of this and respond to her messages accordingly.

The problem lies in my sister. My sister was treated unfairly by my mother during my childhood (I'm aware of it but can't do anything since I'm the cause of it most of the time) and she ended up insecure about whether my mother loved her or not, since from her point of view all of my mother's love went to me and my twin. The fact that she is supposed to be the last child in my family (me and my twin were unintended pregnancy) worsened it. And all these years, my mother always bring all the problems related to me straight to her, despite her unfair treatment to my sister all this time.

And yesterday my sister literally told me she is envious and angry at me, and I was speechless. My sister is my idol, my role model, someone I aspired to be, just like how I aspired to be my mother once before. I just started to reconnect and rebuild my relationship with her. What should I do? Explain my problem to her when it fix exactly nothing? Change myself which I'm still doing and still stuck at minus zero progress?

This is not a problem that can be solved in a day, nor in just one consultation. But I can't just left my sister hanging on unread messages right after her birthday. I'm bad with words, and my action means nothing to her. And it's not like she would accept anything from the main cause of her headache. I'm sorry for my messy English

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Family relationships are complicated to navigate because of their long history, especially if there is a long history of unresolved and recurring problems. Favoritism is one common recurring problem.

It seems that a major issue in your family is a lack of healthy boundaries, so everyone is getting too much into each other's business. This makes it difficult to know what you are or aren't responsible for, when you should or shouldn't get involved, and whether stepping back or pushing forward would be more appropriate. There are some things you can do to start to unravel the knots in these relationships:

1) Treat each relationship with each family member as distinct and unique. Whatever problem you have with someone, try not to bring other people into it unless absolutely necessary. This helps to isolate the problems so that you can work on them with better focus.

2) With regard to your mother, it sounds like you have a long way to go with her, so it may not be the best place to start. In order for a relationship to have a chance for success, both parties have to be willing to sit down and examine the problems and commit the resources to solving them. It sounds like you've got lots of unresolved emotions about her going on, so you need to work on those first. When you are capable of more objectivity and calm, you can try to find common ground with her from which to begin a path to reconciliation. A therapist might be necessary for mediating the conflicts you have with her.

3) It sounds like your relationship with your sister has some positive aspects to build upon. The first thing you need to do is listen to her, perhaps by asking her to describe and explain her feelings. Second, get the facts of why she feels that way and show her empathy by expressing that you understand her perspective. Third, ask her what, if anything, can be done that would allow her to feel better. Whatever she says from there, consider it carefully and determine the best path forward.

4) Relationships need to have a sense of equality in order to be healthy. When some family members are favored/valued over others, it creates a toxic and hostile social atmosphere. What you need to remember is that every member of the family bears some responsibility for rampant unfairness.

Are you the one directly causing the unfairness by actively favoring some members over others? Stop doing that.

Are you the one perpetuating the unfairness by actively going along with it, dismissing people's complaints about it, or ignoring that it's happening? If so, you need to step up and take responsibility for how you contribute to the problem. Call out the perpetrators and put a stop to their bad behavior, bring justice to the victims, or take a more active and leading role in the family by spotting unfair treatment and promoting fairer treatment.

I think if you value your relationships and pay attention to how people are feeling, there's a lot you can do to ease the tensions. You're an adult, so you should be able to step up and take on a more responsible role, rather than keep feeding the problems. You've shown a willingness to examine the ways in which you contribute to the family's problems, and that's a good step. To resolve relationship problems, you have to bring them out into the open, admit to your shortcomings on the matter, pledge to do better, and put a step-by-step plan into action.

[hawaacassim]

The impact of Social Support Networks on Mental health: An OT Perspective

A social support network is defined as a network of people, friends and family, that we can turn to for both emotional and practical support (Developing Your Support System, 2023). This could range from something as trivial as coming home and complaining to a partner about a busy day at work, to getting support on significant decisions!

Social support networks are crucial regarding mental health, whether it is friends, family or even your community, human are social beings, so developing and forming meaningful connections are important! It is important to have a system of support that you can talk to during a crisis to provide emotional support, comfort or even suggestions that might help. This support encourages healthy life decisions and could mean the difference a life of addiction and a healthy one. (Cherry, 2023). Support systems help individuals deal with stress and can even increase their motivation, for example, if you are trying to quit smoking, having a support system in place to encourage you and make sure you do not relapse can help motivate you to stay clean (Acoba, 2024)

Occupational therapists, along with a plethora of other professionals, such as psychologists and social workers, play a key role in helping those who struggle with mental health issues develop and maintain positive support systems. OTs help people improve or develop the social skills required to meet new people and create a beneficial circle of friends, ones that you can rely on (Gallant, 2022). We can also aid in helping mend strained relationships through techniques such as education, roleplay and psychodrama to play out difficult situations and to teach individuals how to initiate and maintain relationships. (Bortolai & Malfitano, 2023). Social skills are imperative in building a reliable support systems (LUTC, 2023), and maintaining deep and meaningful relationships that on can fall back on in times of need. Having a good support network can is linked to good mental health (Acoba, 2024). Having a positive support system can also affect function, poor social support is linked to poor mental health, leading to depression and loneliness. These conditions significantly impair function, leaving people demotivated to carry out daily activities, it can lead to substance abuse issues and even suicide. (Cherry, 2023)

Before this psychology block, I had not known the true importance of a support system, and what happens when people with mental health issues don’t have a strong net to fall back on during bad days or relapses. Seeing patients who are left at chronic facilities because their families or friends were unable to care for them, looking at files that were thick as textbooks because patients had been left without support or visits for so long that big discharged was nothing but a unattainable dream. It also helped me realize how much OTs can do on this situation, helping patients learn how to develop friendships and even advocating for them, helping them reintegrate into community despite their circumstances.

My experiences on prac as well as the research I had done were both eye openers on just how important OTS, psychologists and social workers are in dealing with poor support systems and their consequences on mental health, as well as how important a support system is for mental health.

REFERENCES

Acoba, E. F. (2024a). Social support and mental health: the mediating role of perceived stress. Frontiers in Psychology, 15. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1330720

Acoba, E. F. (2024b). Social support and mental health: the mediating role of perceived stress. Frontiers in Psychology, 15. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1330720

Bortolai, L. A., & Malfitano, A. P. S. (2023). Social support networks and care for people who use harmful drugs. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(4), 3086. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20043086

Cherry, K. C. (2023, March 3). How social support contributes to psychological health. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/social-support-for-psychological-health-4119970

Developing your support system. (2023, February 21). University at Buffalo School of Social Work - University at Buffalo. https://socialwork.buffalo.edu/resources/self-care-starter-kit/additional-self-care-resources/developing-your-support-system.html#:~:text=Social%20support%20system%20refers%20to,for%20emotional%20and%20practical%20support.

LUTC, L. L. J. (2023, September 22). 12 tips to building a support network. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/12-tips-building-support-network-lloyd-lofton-jr-l-u-t-c-/

[myfitbrain9]

Family Counselling: How Therapy Can Strengthen Your Family Bonds

Family counselling, regularly called circle of relatives therapy, is a form of psychotherapy that aims to improve verbal exchange and solve conflicts within households. It affords a structured surroundings where family participants can explore their problems with the help of a educated therapist. The goal is to decorate family relationships and create a greater harmonious domestic environment.

The Goals of Family Counselling

The number one dreams of family counselling consist of improving verbal exchange, resolving conflicts, and fostering a higher knowledge amongst family members. Therapists paintings to become aware of and address the basis reasons of family troubles, assisting families expand healthier approaches to interact and solve problems collaboratively.

Why is Family Counselling Important?

Benefits of Family Counselling

Family counselling gives numerous benefits. It can help families navigate through crises, enhance overall family dynamics, and give a boost to relationships. By addressing problems like conversation obstacles and unresolved conflicts, own family counselling can cause a extra supportive and know-how family surroundings.

Common Issues Addressed in Family Counselling

Family counselling is effective for a wide range of problems, which includes communication issues, behavioral problems in youngsters, marital conflicts, and coping with sizable life adjustments which includes divorce or the lack of a loved one. It additionally allows families manipulate stress and develop coping strategies for coping with ordinary demanding situations.

How Does Family Counselling Work?

The Process of Family Counselling

Family counselling usually involves more than one sessions where all or some own family individuals take part. The therapist starts offevolved by expertise the own family’s worries and putting therapeutic goals. Each consultation normally includes open discussions, trouble-solving sports, and sporting events designed to enhance own family dynamics.

Techniques Used in Family Counselling

Therapists use numerous techniques in family counselling, together with role-playing, communique abilties training, and cognitive-behavioral techniques. These techniques assist family participants express their feelings, recognize each other’s perspectives, and paintings thru conflicts in a constructive way.

Who Should Consider Family Counselling?

Families Facing Communication Issues

Families experiencing persistent communique problems can greatly advantage from circle of relatives counselling. Issues like common misunderstandings, arguments, or the inability to express emotions efficaciously are common motives why families are seeking therapy. A counsellor can offer techniques to enhance verbal exchange and foster a greater supportive talk.

Families Dealing with Major Life Changes

Significant existence occasions, inclusive of moving to a brand new metropolis, dealing with a extreme contamination, or experiencing a dying in the family, can stress family relationships. Family counselling affords guide at some stage in those times, supporting households adapt to adjustments and preserve a experience of team spirit.

Finding the Right Family Counsellor

Qualities to Look For

When selecting a own family counsellor, it's vital to discover a person who's empathetic, non-judgmental, and experienced in coping with own family dynamics. A excellent therapist must have tremendous listening competencies, the capability to mediate conflicts, and a radical information of family structures.

How to Choose a Counsellor

To find the proper circle of relatives counsellor, start by means of in search of guidelines from trusted resources or looking for licensed experts with a heritage in own family remedy. It’s also beneficial to agenda an preliminary consultation to talk about your family’s desires and examine the counsellor’s method and compatibility along with your own family.

Preparing for Family Counselling

What to Expect in Your First Session

In the first session, the counsellor will normally collect records approximately your family’s historical past and the problems you're dealing with. It’s an possibility for family contributors to proportion their perspectives and set goals for the remedy. Being open and honest throughout this consultation is important for setting up a strong therapeutic courting.

How to Make the Most Out of Your Sessions

To get the maximum out of own family counselling, come organized with specific issues and be willing to take part actively in the sessions. Practice the talents and strategies mentioned at some stage in remedy at domestic and be affected person with the technique, as enhancing own family dynamics takes time and effort.

The Impact of Family Counselling on Family Dynamics

Improving Communication

Family counselling facilitates households increase better communication abilities, permitting contributors to explicit their mind and feelings greater certainly. This leads to greater effective trouble-solving and reduces the chance of misunderstandings and conflicts.

Building Stronger Relationships

Through remedy, households can beef up their relationships by getting to know to empathize with each other’s experiences and views. This elevated knowledge fosters a greater supportive and cohesive circle of relatives unit.

Conclusion

Family counselling is a treasured tool for enhancing circle of relatives relationships and resolving conflicts. By providing a established surroundings for communication and trouble-fixing, it facilitates families cope with and overcome their troubles. Whether handling ordinary challenges or foremost existence modifications, own family counselling can cause stronger, extra harmonious relationships and a healthier own family dynamic.

[family-therapy-today]

Understanding Family Therapy and Its Benefits

Family relationships are central to our emotional well-being and personal development. When family dynamics become strained, it can impact every aspect of our lives. Family therapy offers a way to address these issues collectively, promoting healthier interactions and stronger bonds. This article explores what family therapy is, its benefits, and how it can improve family relations, based on insights from current psychology and "Psychology Today." 

What is Family Therapy? 

Family therapy is a type of psychotherapy that addresses issues affecting the health and functioning of a family unit. It involves multiple family members and focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and fostering a supportive family environment. 

Key Approaches in Family Therapy 

Structural Family Therapy (SFT): 

Focus: Examines family structures and hierarchies to improve interactions and boundaries. 

Ideal For: Families with unclear roles and boundaries, where children might assume adult responsibilities or parents struggle with authority. 

Systemic Family Therapy: 

Focus: Views the family as a system where each member's behaviour affects the whole. 

Ideal For: Addressing issues like communication problems, repetitive negative behaviours, and intergenerational conflicts. 

Strategic Family Therapy: 

Focus: Uses strategic planning and problem-solving techniques to address specific issues. 

Ideal For: Families dealing with crises or conflicts that need targeted interventions. 

Narrative Family Therapy: 

Focus: Helps family members rewrite their personal and collective stories to create more positive and empowering narratives. 

Ideal For: Families where past events and stories negatively impact current relationships. 

Benefits of Family Therapy 

Family therapy offers numerous benefits, including: 

Improved Communication: 

Active Listening: Therapists teach active listening skills, helping family members understand each other better. 

Clear Expression: Family members learn to express their thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully. 

Conflict Resolution: 

Mediation Skills: Therapists act as mediators, helping families navigate and resolve conflicts. 

Problem-Solving Techniques: Families are equipped with strategies to address and manage future conflicts constructively. 

Strengthened Bonds: 

Shared Activities: Therapy often includes activities that promote bonding and positive interactions. 

Increased Empathy: Family members develop a deeper understanding and empathy for each other's experiences and perspectives. 

Healthy Boundaries: 

Role Clarification: Therapy helps clarify roles and responsibilities within the family. 

Boundary Setting: Families learn to set and respect healthy boundaries, enhancing individual and collective well-being. 

Coping with Life Changes: 

Transition Support: Family therapy can assist families in navigating significant life changes such as divorce, relocation, or the loss of a loved one. 

Resilience Building: Families build resilience, learning to support each other through challenges. 

Finding a Family Therapist 

Finding the right family therapist is crucial for effective therapy. Here are some tips: 

Research Credentials: Ensure the therapist is licensed and has specific training in family therapy. 

Check Experience: Look for a therapist with experience addressing the issues your family faces. 

Initial Consultation: Use the initial consultation to assess the therapist’s approach and see if it aligns with your family’s needs. 

Conclusion 

Family therapy offers a valuable opportunity to address and resolve issues affecting family dynamics. By improving communication, fostering healthy boundaries, and strengthening bonds, family therapy can lead to a more harmonious and supportive family environment.

Key Takeaways 

Family therapy addresses issues affecting the health and functioning of the family unit. 

Different approaches in family therapy, such as SFT, systemic, strategic, and narrative therapy, offer unique benefits. 

Benefits of family therapy include improved communication, conflict resolution, strengthened bonds, healthy boundaries, and coping with life changes. 

Personal experiences highlight the transformative impact of family therapy. 

Finding the right therapist involves checking credentials, experience, and ensuring their approach aligns with your family’s needs. 

FAQs 

What issues can family therapy address?

Family therapy can address a wide range of issues, including communication problems, conflict resolution, parenting challenges, and coping with life changes. 

How long does family therapy typically last?

The duration varies depending on the family's needs and goals. It can range from a few sessions to several months. 

Is family therapy covered by insurance?

Many insurance plans cover family therapy. Check with your provider to understand your coverage. 

Can family therapy be done online?

Yes, many therapists offer online family therapy sessions, which can be convenient for busy families. 

How do we know if family therapy is working?

Indicators of progress include improved communication, reduced conflict, and a stronger sense of unity and support within the family. 

[divorcelawyerscanada]

Divorce Lawyers Navigating the Path to a New Beginning

Divorce is a challenging and emotional process, often accompanied by a host of complex legal issues. Divorce lawyers, also known as family law attorneys, are professionals with expertise in guiding individuals through this intricate journey. In this article, we will explore the essential role of divorce lawyers, their responsibilities, and why their services are invaluable during this pivotal life transition.

The Role of Divorce Lawyers

Divorce lawyers serve as legal advocates, advisors, and mediators for individuals seeking to end their marriages. Their primary roles include:

a. Legal Representation: Divorce lawyers provide legal counsel and representation to their clients, ensuring that their rights and interests are protected throughout the divorce proceedings.

b. Negotiation and Settlement: They work to negotiate fair and amicable divorce settlements, addressing issues such as asset division, spousal support, child custody, and child support.

c. Mediation: Lawyers may facilitate mediation sessions, helping spouses come to a mutually agreeable resolution without resorting to lengthy and contentious court battles.

d. Court Advocacy: In cases where negotiations fail or when disputes cannot be resolved through mediation, divorce lawyers represent their clients in court, presenting evidence, and arguments to persuade the judge to issue a divorce decree.

Expertise and Skills

Divorce lawyers possess a range of skills and expertise:

a. Legal Knowledge: They are well-versed in family law, including divorce statutes, regulations, and precedents, enabling them to navigate the legal system effectively.

b. Communication: Effective communication skills are essential for negotiating with opposing counsel, discussing terms with clients, and presenting cases in court.

c. Empathy and Sensitivity: Divorce lawyers must be empathetic and sensitive to the emotional strain on their clients, providing support and guidance during a challenging time.

d. Problem Solving: They need strong problem-solving skills to find creative solutions to complex divorce-related issues, especially when dividing assets and determining custody arrangements.

e. Legal Research: Thorough research is necessary to build a strong case, identify relevant legal precedents, and argue effectively in court.

The Importance of Divorce Lawyers

Divorce lawyers play a crucial role in ensuring a fair and equitable resolution of divorce-related matters:

a. Protecting Your Rights: They safeguard your legal rights and ensure that you are not taken advantage of during the divorce process.

b. Reducing Stress: Divorce is inherently stressful, but experienced lawyers can help alleviate some of that stress by managing the legal aspects of the case.

c. Ensuring Legal Compliance: Lawyers ensure that all divorce agreements and court orders comply with state laws and regulations, protecting you from potential legal pitfalls.

d. Advocating for Children: When children are involved, divorce lawyers advocate for their best interests in matters related to custody, visitation, and child support.

e. Financial Fairness: They work to secure a fair division of marital assets and debts, protecting your financial future.

Collaboration with Other Professionals

Divorce lawyers often collaborate with other professionals to provide comprehensive support to their clients:

a. Mediators: Mediators can help divorcing couples reach mutually acceptable agreements, reducing the need for litigation.

b. Financial Advisors: Financial experts can assist in evaluating assets, debts, and retirement accounts, helping to ensure a fair distribution.

c. Therapists and Counselors: Mental health professionals can offer emotional support and counseling to clients dealing with the emotional toll of divorce.

Conclusion

Divorce lawyers serve as vital advocates for individuals navigating the complex process of ending a marriage. Visit webpage divorcelawyers.ca offer legal expertise, guidance, and representation during a time of emotional upheaval and uncertainty. With their knowledge of family law and their commitment to protecting their clients' rights, divorce lawyers help ensure that the divorce process proceeds as smoothly and fairly as possible, allowing individuals to move forward with their lives and start anew. When facing divorce, seeking the assistance of a qualified and compassionate divorce lawyer is a wise step toward a brighter future.

[legalassistance]

My Spouse Just Asked For A Divorce In California. What Do I Do?

Introduction

Going through a divorce can be an incredibly challenging and emotional experience. When your spouse asks for a divorce in California, it's important to understand your rights, options, and the steps you need to take. In this article, we will guide you through the process and provide valuable information on finding a divorce attorney in San Jose, CA, to help you navigate this difficult time. If you're looking for affordable and reliable legal assistance, visit affordableandexpresslegal.com to find expert divorce attorneys who can provide you with the guidance you need.

Hiring a Divorce Attorney in San Jose, CA

When facing a divorce, it's crucial to have a knowledgeable and experienced divorce attorney by your side. A divorce attorney will protect your rights, provide legal advice, and ensure that your best interests are represented throughout the process. Their expertise in California divorce laws will be invaluable as you navigate property division, child custody, spousal support, and other critical matters.

Finding the Right Divorce Attorney

Finding the right divorce attorney in San Jose, CA, is essential for a smooth divorce process. Here are some steps you can take to find a reputable attorney who will meet your needs:

Research Online: Start by searching for divorce attorneys in San Jose, CA, online. Look for highly rated professionals with positive reviews from previous clients.

Ask for Recommendations: Seek recommendations from friends, family, or colleagues who have been through a divorce. They may provide valuable insights and refer you to trustworthy attorneys.

Schedule Consultations: Once you have a list of potential attorneys, schedule consultations to discuss your case. This will help you evaluate their expertise, communication style, and compatibility with your needs.

Consider Experience: Choose an attorney who specializes in family law and has significant experience in handling divorce cases in California.

Remember, finding the right attorney is crucial, as they will guide you through the legal process and advocate for your rights.

What to Do When Your Spouse Asks for a Divorce in California

1. Stay Calm and Seek Emotional Support

Receiving the news of your spouse's desire for a divorce can be overwhelming and emotional. It's important to stay calm and composed during this time. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support. Having a strong support system can provide you with the guidance and comfort you need.

2. Understand Your Legal Rights

Educating yourself about your legal rights in a divorce is essential. In California, divorce laws follow the principle of "no-fault" divorce, meaning you don't need to prove that either party is at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. Familiarize yourself with key aspects such as property division, child custody, child support, and spousal support.

3. Gather Financial Information

Financial matters play a significant role in divorce proceedings. Start gathering all relevant financial documents, including bank statements, tax returns, property deeds, and investment records. This information will be crucial when determining the division of assets and calculating spousal and child support.

4. Prioritize the Children

If you have children, their well-being should be a top priority. Focus on maintaining open and honest communication with your spouse regarding child custody and visitation arrangements. Consider the children's best interests when discussing these matters.

5. Consider Mediation or Collaboration

In California, alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation or collaboration can be effective in reaching mutually agreeable settlements. These methods can save time, money, and reduce the emotional toll of a court battle. Discuss these options with your attorney to see if they are suitable for your situation.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can I file for divorce in California if my spouse asked for a divorce?

Yes, you can file for divorce in California regardless of whether your spouse asked for it or not. California is a "no-fault" divorce state, meaning that you don't need to prove fault to obtain a divorce. You can initiate the process by filing a petition for divorce with the appropriate court.

2. How long does the divorce process take in California?

The duration of the divorce process in California can vary depending on various factors, including the complexity of the case, the court's schedule, and whether the spouses can reach agreements outside of court. On average, the process takes around six months from the time of filing to the finalization of the divorce.

3. Can I represent myself in a divorce case in California?

While it is possible to represent yourself in a divorce case, it is generally not recommended. Divorce proceedings can be complex, and having an experienced attorney by your side can help ensure that your rights are protected and that you receive a fair settlement.

4. How is property divided in a California divorce?

California follows the principle of community property, which means that assets and debts acquired during the marriage are generally divided equally between the spouses. However, the court may consider factors such as each spouse's earning capacity, contributions to the marriage, and the best interests of any children involved when making property division decisions.

5. What if my spouse refuses to cooperate during the divorce process?

If your spouse refuses to cooperate during the divorce process, it can make the proceedings more challenging. In such cases, your attorney can guide you on the appropriate legal steps to take, including seeking court intervention and enforcing court orders.

6. How can I ensure the best outcome for my divorce case?

To ensure the best outcome for your divorce case, it is crucial to work closely with an experienced divorce attorney in San Jose, CA. They will help you navigate the complexities of the legal process, protect your rights, and advocate for your best interests.

Conclusion

When your spouse asks for a divorce in California, it's essential to take the right steps to protect your rights and secure a fair settlement. Hiring a divorce lawyers in San Jose, CA, will provide you with the necessary legal guidance and support throughout the process. Remember to reach out to affordableandexpresslegal.com for affordable and reliable legal assistance. Take control of your situation and begin building a new chapter in your life.

Reference URL :- My Spouse Just Asked For A Divorce In California. What Do I Do?

[myerssetb]

"Unraveling the Mystery of Teenage Love: Navigating Romance in the Digital Age"

As a teenager, you are in a period of life where you are exploring and discovering the world around you. This includes exploring romantic relationships, which can be exciting, confusing, and even overwhelming. With the rise of technology, social media, and dating apps, it can be challenging to navigate teenage love in the digital age. In this blog, we will unravel the mystery of teenage love and provide tips for navigating romance in the modern world.

Firstly, it's important to understand the generation Z perspective on love. Unlike previous generations, Generation Z places a higher value on emotional connection and authenticity in their relationships. This is reflected in the rise of terms like "situationships" and "textual chemistry." However, it's important to recognize that online communication is not a substitute for real-life connection. While it may seem easier to connect with someone online, it's crucial to invest time and effort in building meaningful connections face-to-face.

One study conducted by Santos et al (2016). explored the experience of love among Brazilian teenagers. The study found that teenagers often experienced love as intense and passionate, and that their experiences were shaped by cultural and societal norms surrounding romantic relationships. The authors also noted that love during adolescence can play an important role in shaping one's identity and sense of self.

As a teenager, it's essential to know your side in a relationship. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of being in a relationship and lose sight of your values and boundaries. Take time to reflect on what you want and what you don't want in a relationship. Communication is key, so don't be afraid to have honest conversations with your partner about your expectations and boundaries.

Navigating teenage love can be challenging, and it's normal to experience struggles along the way. Whether it's dealing with rejection, heartbreak, or jealousy, it's important to know that you are not alone. It's okay to reach out for support from trusted friends, family members, or even a therapist. Remember that you are still growing and learning, and every experience is an opportunity for growth.

Throughout your teenage years, you will undoubtedly have your fair share of romantic experiences. These experiences may be positive, negative, or somewhere in between. Some relationships may be short-lived, while others may last longer. You may experience your first love, your first heartbreak, or even your first breakup. Whatever your experiences may be, it's important to remember that they are all part of your journey and can teach you valuable lessons.

It's also important to understand that not all relationships are meant to last forever. As a teenager, you may feel pressure to find your "soulmate" or have a perfect fairy-tale romance. However, the reality is that not all relationships are meant to last, and that's okay. It's normal to have different priorities and goals as you grow and develop as an individual. If a relationship is no longer fulfilling or healthy, it's important to have the courage to end it respectfully and move on. Remember that the end of a relationship is not a reflection of your worth, and that there are plenty of opportunities for love and connection in the future.

So Teenage Love can be a mystery, but it doesn't have to be. By understanding the generation Z perspective on love, knowing your side, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate romantic relationships in the digital age. Remember to embrace your journey and prioritize your well-being above all else. Happy exploring!

Reference:

Lopez, F. G., & Gormley, B. (2016). Perceived partner responsiveness mediates the association between attachment anxiety and relationship satisfaction: A daily diary study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33(1), 64-85.

Lambert, N. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2016). Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior. Emotion, 16(2), 220-224.

[liftwellnes]

Is There A Such Thing As A Good Divorce?

Interestingly, the number one Google search term in the month of January is ‘divorce.’ In our practice, inquiries for couples counseling and separation mediation nearly quadruples during this first month of the year. Let’s face it, the dissolution of a marriage is always an upsetting event, marked by disappointment and loss of dreams and expectations. When children are involved, worry and concern for their wellbeing and adjustment add to the distress. Divorce is as much an emotional process as it is a legal process. Financial, emotional and practical challenges posed require time, energy and alterations in responsibilities. Yet, divorce does not have to be purely negative. For some of our clients, divorce serves an important function in freeing individuals to form more satisfying and stable relationships in the future. It is HOW we approach these changes and transitions that determines the outcome of a divorce. With support and guidance, a therapist can help navigate all these changes to help you and your family have a positive outcome.

In the beginning stages of a divorce, sometimes called the announcement phase, intentions are revealed, and you begin to tell others. There can be great relief, yet also distress and upheaval too. Sometimes, couples are intimidated and try to put it all back together. In the separation phase, an actual physical separation occurs. Decisions must be made. If you are in the formal divorce phase and it is legally concluded, one or both must leave the house and it is a good time to redefine boundaries. Reframing the transition as a reorganization and not a dismantling process can help with perspective. New family structure starts to form and with the creation of new rules, new roles and new traditions a sense of stability can be developed. In the aftermath of a divorce, one or both have moved forward and are establishing new family structures, requiring flexibility and negotiation within the relationships to successfully move forward.

No child dreams of having divorced parents. Divorce almost always breaks up a household and its routines. Divorce can distract parents, and children temporarily may not get their needs in the way they once did. Children may feel they need to pick sides or experience a sense of loss or worry for the other parent. Children may be scared, angry, confused or disappointed in one or both parent. The stress of the split and perhaps having to adjust to change of household can heighten anxiety, increase irritability and may exhibit behavior problems or difficulty sleeping. The good news is that many of the effects of divorce on children are short lived and resolve in a year or two. Untreated, other issues may be longer lasting and could play out later in attitudes toward romantic relationships. Children need assurance during this time they are loved by both parents if possible. They also need to be spared any conversations that are really for adults or where one parent might denigrate the other. It is not the actual divorce that harms the child, it is the child seeing parents fight and experience hostility towards one another. It can be terribly challenging to refrain from doing these things. To achieve a good divorce; engage a qualified therapist to use as a sounding board. You will receive encouragement and guidance on the best practices to navigate divorce for you, your children, and your family.

Article contributed by LIFT clinical therapist, Tara Trivers Gans, LMFTA

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[adviceformefromme]

I’m currently on a weight loss transformation journey and I’m struggling with trying to not see myself as the ugly fat friend. For as long as I can remember I’ve felt invisible. Do you have any tips on how to stop neglecting myself🥺

Steps for weight loss / body confidence level up: 1. Be prepared to put in the work, you have to really commit to yourself, to growing you, to pushing yourself to do one thing to move you forward every single day. Once you get into momentum, you will be on a role. 2. Mirror work, start looking in the mirror and learning to accept and love what you see, going from ‘I'm worthless' to ‘I love me, I'm amazing' might be too much of a big jump so spending time when you get out the shower repeating ‘i am learning to love the body i am in’ chant this to yourself. 3. Instead of focusing on all the weight you want to loose, break it down. Can you loose x amount in one week? Can I not eat x food for one day/ one week? Focus on small achievable goals and over time you'll succeed. Progress is defined by what you do each day. When you do any exercise/ movements, start whispering to yourself words of motivation. As your body moves, and you repeat / chant words of empowerment, they infiltrate your energy and subconscious mind. Words such as ‘i am enough, i am worthy’, as simple as they are, they have the power to heal your life. if you stuck with these two words, and literally repeated them as you move your body for even 5 mins you would start to mentally feel different. 4. Prayer, this is a big one - whoever you believe in God / Universe / Allah, ask for help in shifting these beliefs, pray for release of this negativity. The answers, the help will come, and it will show up in different ways, it might be through a new friend that inspires you, or a book that appears when you go to the story, a film you watch that changes your perspective. more on that.. 5. I recommend watching 'I am pretty’ with Rebel Wilson, she mentally shifts out of thinking she is fat and ugly to thinking she is the hottest thing on earth, and see how the universe responds to her. It's not about how you look it's about how you feel. 6. Remove all toxic / low vibe energy from your life, this could look like friends you don’t feel confident around, family members, social media accounts, literally remove everything that's not empowering you. Create space, distance yourself. Your level up will require time and effort, do you really want to waste precious energy hanging out with women who don’t elevate you? This is also about self respect. Stepping into the empowered woman that you are. Respect your time, your energy. Let go of anything and anyone that doesn’t mirror the life you want to live. 7. Create a vision. Write down the emotions you want to feel as the new you, how do you feel when you look in the mirror? When you walk down the street? When you are with your man? When you are with your friends? Get crystal clear on this vision. Focus on feeling these emotions in the now. Youtube guided visualisation meditations, learn about scripting as a tool to manifest, writing out your dreams. 8. Create time each morning for your level up. This doesn't have to be a task, this should be something special for you. Where you light your favourite candle, pull out your journal, write words of love to yourself, write your dreams, focus on your future vision, do a little mediation, sip your favourite hot drink, slowly. If you can’t do this each morning, maybe try a Sunday, at least once a week. Read books on people who have paved the path for you, women who have overcome weight-loss, body image struggles. Learn from these people and use them to inspire you. 9. Start watching empowering videos on youtube, find a mentor, Someone in real life or on social (this can be someone who's teachings resonate with you and you learn from them). 10. Literally draw a cup, with pen and paper and write all the things that fill you with joy. Focus your energy on these things in the cup. Your cup of love is your guidance. it can be anything, long baths, swimming, watching films on x topic, whatever you love, write it in your cup and start pouring your energy into those things. 11. Get familiar with the broken record that's replaying the same sentences in your mind over and over again ‘i'm worthless, i'm stupid, i'm unwanted, i'm fat, etc etc’ this is just an untrained mind running wild. You need to take back control. You need to see these thoughts for what they are, just thoughts. They are not the truth. Once you’re aware of your stories, the broken record, you’ll know when it starts playing without falling into the trap of the stories. 12. Mediation. I can’t preach enough about how much this will change your life, even 5 mins per day using an app or guided or just in silence. Meditation stills your mind with practise. And with the stillness, space is created. With this space you can start to notice throughout the day when old stories come up, it gives you the choice to choose better thoughts because your mind is no longer on auto pilot. 13. Find healers, reiki healers, inner child healers, therapists, eft (emotional freedom tapping). Attend sound baths, go to meditation centres. Completely drown yourself in self growth and level up. 14. Spend time in nature. Get out of your phone. Nature is going to help you reconnect to your true essence, nature is wild, it’s beautiful, its delicate, rugged, powerful, gentle. Mother nature is our healer on earth. Spending time on long walks, hikes, at the beach, even in the park with the phone in the pocket just looking up at the sky.