#sees her as square! you know what i DONT do? make posts about how artists should stop drawing him square

[sapphicdib]

.

[haeroniel-doliet]

Hnghhh why does it require e f f o r t and p a t i e n c e and p r a c t i c e to get good at art????? I need to be good immediately and things i want to see appear at a snap of my fingers.......

Read more for what became an accidental full rant about why ive yet to post anything besides that one thing idkkkk

Aka im TRYING to be good and practice little by little but its BORING and difficult to not get immediate reward.... Also because for whatever reason i really dont wanna watch tutorials so im tryna be all self taught kinda and im OBVIOUSLY making a lot of mistakes like its part of the process but its FRUSTRATING

Basically im on my 6th??? Idk restart attempt at the same fennec portrait and its. Okay. Its at a point where im like nice as long as i suffer over the details here itll be decent ish. Probably.

But its not REWARDING.....

I know i want to do screencaps and character and face studies to get to the point of good art i wish i could be but .... I also just wanna draw like fun fic scenes and silly doodles of characters like some of the cool artists i follow do but i CANT because im not GOOD ENOUGH yet. ;(((((((

Yea i could post sketches or whatver i manage in a night but like who the fuck wants to follow that? Nah... I just idk. I DONT KNOW i dont know what my art goals are (i do, but DO I??)

My brain also obviously doesnt work very well visually which is GREAT so like, any original work its a lot like 'i'll know its right when i see it' but getting next to no other direction and you just gotta be like right. Okay uhhh my anatomy skills are stunted from when i was like 16?? Perspective?? Detail?? WHATS THE COLOR SCHEME

Never mind that i just... Dont understand the program or brushes that well idk why. Krita should be good and im too stressed to experiment different softwares.... BLEGH

i just. Part of me aches to go back to traditional for a bit but i just, dont have the means to make the scale of work i want ro produce with traditional materials yknow?? Maybe i should try just sketching scanning and then lining on computer again idk. At least for some of these face things.

Ok so my GOAL is to always have a very recognizable face. Like. I guess i cant hold myself to photorealism standards because hahahhah id die! But like, i want the face to be looked at and go ah yes! Its that guy! That actress! My friend! Me! Whoever! But like, recognizable. Because i know i CAN thats what i do! Thats all ive been good at !!!!

And like yeah i could hone that, yknow? Work on face studies and mini portraits of all my favourite actors and scenes and shit. Cool right?? Yeahh that could be sickaroni macaroni. People like faces they can recognize and good refined work. I can do that

But i want to be MORE

Id love love love to make like. Scenic paintings. Concept art level atmosphere and color and light and presence and as tory telling yknow?? Id like to substitute the literally colorless fog inside my head into vivid scenes. Id like to try and take the fics that in my head are set in ??? Space with some movement here and there and just idk emotions? Into fleshed out SCENES with backdrops and accurate anatomy and WEIGHT and like, everything incredible that i admire in true art.

But thats hard, yknow? I havent really ever done backgrounds and what i have have been so flat. I dont KNOW how to do that (here i would be willing to have a teacher i think but. Im tired. I cant even seek out a short term therapist for myself how am i gonna find the kind of teacher i want?? Because of course i want them to teach me how to achieve whata inside my dreams and not what they know how to do ykno)

Yeah so i want to try and paint screencaps in the meantime. See if i cant struggle my way to fit this putty of skill into a square box. Like i think i can paint. Digitally? Somewhat idk?? Maybe if i just. Keep trying itll work out?? Start with simpler ones and build up to complexity??

But also. If im juat trying to get myself to love art again, why am i trying to throw myself in the deep end of struggling with something im not good at?? Shouldnt i be just refining what i already know? Like. A character! Standing. Maybe in a cooler pose if going crazy. Refining basic anatomy. How does fabric work? How does hair work? Can i make expressions seem realistic?

Next step, could i make a picture of someone without direct reference?? Like. Could i draw maybe a wee dinluke holding eachother or whatever and like. Just. Do it?? Without doing a version of photoshopping two pics of the actors through art together. Idk.

Also NONE of this makes sense to anyone outside my head and im SORRY

Like i dont even have a resolution at the end here!!! Im just FRUSTRATED!!!

I wanna draw, i wanna have results and success and rewarding experiences. But i also want ro challenge myself and do super complex shit and like really push myself to learn impressive difficult shit and be proud of down the line.

Im so tired. I cant even feel ok drawing without having someone on call with me to alleviate the immense pressure of frustration and anxiety and stress and struggle!!

I just. Wanna enjoy it

Okay fine i need to find a show or smth to 'watch'

And tomorrow? I might whip out a sketchbook thats been last used 8 years ago and. Ignore everything in it hahhaha its bad

But no im gonna. Im gonna draw scenes. With minimal reference

I might make a face collage i definitely wanna for pascal and mar camel

But im gonna put PENCIL to PAPER and get to the roots of MY HAND CAN DRAW just give her a chance, and get your brain outta the game.

Ok so fuck me this rant has to end here or ill never stop

If you read this (i dont expect ANYONE to have) send me like a message or whatever lol imma need to ask if youre ok <3

[bjdconfessions]

Loooong List Ahead!

I don’t know why, but there’s been a lot of negativity lately. So.. here’s an idea: I compiled a list of advice for people in the community  (NO its not cocky or any of that troll nonsense xD) it’s just some stuff I think would help better us?

1) If you don’t like someone, or you have THE BEEF, unfollow and block them. Don’t associate with them. Just ignore them. Don’t shittalk them or spread rumours about them. Just block and ignore. Alternatively, you could confront them and discuss THE BEEF in a mature, civilised manner. We aren’t animals. Also, if you just follow someone you dont like only to spy on them, shame on you. Stop. Get a life and stop being petty. You aren’t James Bond, and you’re spying on someone who fuckin plays with dolls like you do.

2) If you see someone you don’t like at a meet, again, ignore them. Or just get over and done with the pleasantries, and THEN ignore them. Don’t gossip or shittalk or anything like that. You’re meeting for your dolls, not for the desperate house wives gossip sesh.

3) If you’re a parent of kids who are too young to understand the fragility of dolls, Its advisable to hire a sitter or someone to look after them if you’ve got a doll meet. If you cant and you MUST bring them with, please ensure they’re well behaved or entertained. Not everyone likes kids, not everyone will like YOUR kids, and that’s okay. If someone asks if you can tell your child to not touch their dolls, please comply. “But her fingers are clean!” “But he’s very gentle~” yes, that may be true, but not everyone is comfortable with others- especially kids- touching their dolls. No matter how well behaved you perceive your own children to be, please respect the wishes of the other doll owners. Not your doll, not your decision.

4) If a parent has their kid at a meet and said kid wants to touch the doll, but you’re not down for it, just say no. But be polite. You dont have to be an asshole just because it’s a child. Children are worthy of your respect. If they keep nagging, give a firmer no, and if it persists, tell their parents. Parents of those kids, refer to (3). Not everyone likes kids, but its still good to be tolerant of them. You dont even be to humour them.

5) Some people like to shag their dolls. That’s..  okay.  To those who don’t like it, block those who do. To those who do like it, keep it sanitary. That’s just for your own health though. You dont need resin splinters in your hoo-ha.

6) Some people have… controversial dolls or contraversial themes in their stories. That’s okay.  Our dolls can be beautiful and romanticized, or they can be a reflection of our selves and the real world issues we face. But, if it bothers you, ask the owners to put trigger warnings.  Owners, if someone asks you to put a trigger warning, don’t be an asshole about it.

7) Buyers, please be patient. Like you, sellers have lives to live. Give them up to 3 days to respond before you send another message. Also, please be sure about if you actually want to buy something. It’s best to not waste their time  (which I’m guilty of. Sorry doll owner I messed around!).

8) sellers, please respond to buyers as soon as you can. You’ll come to an arrangement sooner, and make your sale quicker. Also, once you’ve received payment, please send out items as soon as you can. It’ll stop you from being blacklisted as a scammer or being a potential buyer - beware target.

9) This kinda goes without saying, but if you want to call someone out as a scammer, its best to gather all your info and evidence, then make a conviction. You dont wanna say soandso scammed you without any proof.

10) If you’re pro-artist, refer to  (1), especially if you don’t want to see that content. If someone does slip past, try educate them civilly. I know a lot of pro-artist get a bad rap for bullying, but if we are civil we might be able to educate each other. I know it’s hard, especially when some prorecasts don’t budge in their stance, but then there’s no changing it and you shouldn’t let it upset you. (I know. Easier said than done).

11) Pro-recasts. I know you guys like cheaper dolls, or they help get you through your anxiety, but please know that they are very harmful to artists. I know sometimes we can’t help it (I downloaded a cracked version of Life is Strange. Sorry square enix  <\3), but please do go back to support the artists, if even with just an outfit or something. (I’ve bought all my installements of Final Fantasy. None cracked!) Please be sure to tag them as recasts and don’t post in artist-only places. Also don’t hide the fact that you own a recast or pretend your recast is legit. It proves your guilty conscience and shows you know you did something wrong.

12) don’t be nasty to Noobs. If their faceup looks like a preschoolers crayon and macaroni art project, but they’re proud of it, do NOT get them down. We all started somewhere. No one is instantly perfect at faceups. No one ever will be. Art is like humans- constantly improving to a state of perfection, except we can’t reach it. There’s always room for improvement. If you must judge a faceup, please do so nicely with constructive criticism. “The brows are a little wonky. Is it a character quirk? If not, maybe redo the left for a more curious look, or the right for more relaxed.” Be more willing to help. If they don’t know how to improve, help them, or send them a link.

13) Noobs- if you don’t want criticisms, SAY SO. But you need to know your faceups aren’t perfect (see12). You cant expect everyone to love them immediately. Accept some criticism. Ask about what you can fix. And please do your research before you spam confession blogs with questions. That’ll just get you backlash. Also, not everyone will love your first faceup. So don’t open commissions after two tries at an SD.  if you’re confident in your work, only then should you take commisions.

I think that about covers it. If you wanna add stuff or disagree or whatever do it. Its just my opinion lmao. This kinda feels more like a ramble than a confession so here:

I love the smell of resin and the cracking sound of a new dolls’ joints. It’s like ASMR to me and so therapeutic.

[j-t-k-moved]

I decided to redo my Trollsona cause there's stuff I wanted to add and fix. I also added more detail (as best as I could) and more stuff to describe my personality better.

Warning: Long ass post ahead.

  Name: Scmare Ttieer  [Seh-mare Tear] (Origin of name is unknown)

Age: 7.85 Alternian Sweeps [17 Human Earth Years]

Gender: Bigender [She/Her/He/Him]

Status: Alive

Blood Colour: Sapphire (Blue Blood, Landdweller)

Lusus: I don't fully know what it is. It's a strange creature that doesn't resemble any Alternian creatures. [See Picture: 7]

Theme: Space

Symbol: [See picture: 9]

Weapon: Double Ended Scythe [See picture: 8]  (Weapon is around 4 feet long, rarely ever used)

Power: Aura reading, The ability to perceive energy fields surrounding people, places and things. If I focus hard enough on person/object I can see colours surrounding their body. These colours can mean multiple things, from how they’re feeling to if that person is inherently evil or good.

Typing Quirk: Capitalizes letters that are in my first name (Except when actually typing my name). When useing the word 'neutral' I cap the whole thing. Uses & in place of the word 'and'

Speaking Quirk: Very quiet around people I don't know or when I'm feeling negative emotions. Very loud when around people I'm comfortable with or when feeling positive emotions.

Troll Tag: dysfunctionalCosmos

Quote: "id rather StAy NEUTRAL on thE SituAtion. lEss ChAnCE of a ConfRontAtion."

Hive: A very simple Hive, even if a bit futuristic looking. Made of a white metal, the whole hive in a circular shape. An observatory located right in the middle of the building on the roof. Used for my interest in studying space. Doors open by touching a surface near them (like touch screen)

Respiteblock: Messy room with clothes and tools on the floor. Posters of movies and videogames on the walls, along with some of my shitty drawings. Husktop located on a desk in the back of the room. Recuperacoon is located in a far right corner by a window.

Interests: Fiduspawn, Singing, Reading, Drawing, Crafting, Astronomy, Video Games, Cooking and Dancing  

Dislikes: Confrontation, Needles, Large groups of people, Loud noises, Heights, Myself

Bad Habits: Biting my lip until it bleeds, Chewing on matches, Biting my nails,

Hemoloyalty: I do not treat trolls of lower blood caste any different than I would treat a troll of a high blood caste. Though, I do understand my place on the hemospectrum and that unless I want to get culled I need to show some amount of respect to highbloods. Describes it as being neutral, even though I don't approve of the way low bloods are viewed.  

Clothing: Black tank top coated in small white specs representing stars, my symbol located on the front of my shirt. Sapphire blue button up short sleeve shirt (usually unbuttoned). Black mid-thigh shorts with ankle high black boots.

Hair: Short thick black hair [See Picture: 6]

Horns: (Horns are 1 foot long) [See Picture: 2]

Teeth/Mouth: [See Picture: 3] Bottom fangs are long and poke out a bit

Eyes: Not fully my blood colour yet [See Picture: 5] 

Ears: [See Picture: 4]

Skin: Pale grey [See Picture: 4]

Face: Round in shape. Scar across the bridge of my nose. Square thick glasses covering my eyes. Only make up being some black eye liner. [See Picture: 5]

Body: Chubby, thicker for my height. Around 198 pounds. No tattoos or other body modifications.

Mutations: None 

Height: 5'6 [Not including horns]

Ancestor: Anwara Tteeir

Dancestor: Urania Ttieer

Quadrants: [Self insert shipping list for me]

God Tier: Rogue Of Life

=============================================================

Skills:  

Knowledge: 7/10 Conceptualization Power: 6/10 Motivation: 4/10 Will to Act: 4/10 Agility: 2/10 Power Control: 10/10 Swordsmanship: 7/10 Hand-to-Hand Combat: 5/10 Long Range Accuracy: 0/10 Offense: 5/10 Defense: 5/10 Social Skills: 3/10

=============================================================Basic Personality Questions: Link To The Questions

1. Are you a leader or a follower?

i'M MoRE of A followER. i don't SEE MySElf AS A good lEAdER.

 2.  What's your faveourite colour?

dARk bluE & REd

 3. Are you more intoverted or extroverted?

ExtRovERtEd. vERy ExtRovERtEd.

 4. Do you tend to argue or avoid conflict?

i Avoid ConfliCt MoRE oftEn thAn not, but At tiMES i gEt into SMAll ARguMEntS.

 5. Are you a listener or a talker?

liStEnER. i ENjoy liStEnEing to pEoplE tAlk moRE thAn ACtuAlly tAlking MySElf.

 6. How long is you attention span

it dEpEndS on whAt i'M doing. if itS SomEthing i likE i'll foCuS on it moRE but if i dont likE it i tEnd to loSE intERESt vERy EASy.

  7. Do you laugh a lot? What's funny to you?

itS vERy EASy to MAkE ME lAugh so yEs & A lot of thingS ARE funny to ME. My SEnSE of humoR iS wERid...

  8. Are you more Athletic, Artistic, or Intellectual?

i would hAvE to SAy ArtiStiC.

 9. What would you do if someone attacked you for no reason?

wEll i would bE foRCEd to dEfEnd MySElf thEn. i would MAkE A AttEMpt to rEAson with thEM but thAt doESn't AlwAyS woRk.

 10 . Any fears?

A fEw likE, nEEdlES and A SmAll fEAR of thE dARk.

 11. What would happen if your greatest fear manifested itself?

i....honEStly wouldn't know how to dEAl with it.

  12. Do you make desicions based on emotions or logic?

i hAtE to AdMit it but EmotionS SEEM to ContRol A lot of whAt i do.

=============================================================

Backstory Questions:

1. What is your earliest memory?

My EARliESt MEMoRy wAS whEn i wAS ChoSEn by My luSuS AS A gRub.

 2. Embarrasing Story - Go!

i oNCE tRiEd to intRoduCE MySElf to AnothER tRoll whEn i wAS youngER but i tRippEd ovER My own fEEt & lAndEd fACE fiRSt in fRont of thEm...

3. Tell the story of a scar you have

thE SCAR on My noSE cAME fRoM thE fiRSt Robot i EvER built. it wAS vERy AgRESSivE & punChEd ME So hARd in thE noSE thAt it MAdE A lARgE gASh. i wAS Still pRoud of My CREAtion though.

4. Has someone close to you died?

no onE CloSE to ME hAS diEd yEt, thAnkfully

   5. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?  

i CAn't think of Anything vERy iMpoRtAnt thAt hAS hAppEnEd to ME yEt. i dont think i'vE livEd long Enough. ==============================================

 Opinion and Interest Questions:

1. How do you feel about where you stand on the Hemospectrum?

honEStly i wiSh i Could foRm A bEttER opinion on it & ChooSE A SidE.

2. When you look at somone, how much does their blood colour have to do with your opionion of them?

it hAS no AffECt on whAt i think of thE pERSon. i judgE by ACtionS.

3. Do you like to read? If so, what genre?

i likE to REAd SomEtiMES. fAntASy iS MAinly whAt i go foR but MyStERy iS prEtty good too.

4. What about TV/Moives. What genre do you like?

i dont whAtCh MoivES or tv ShowS offtEn but whEn i do i go foR hoRRoR & RomAnCES

5. Do you believe in magic?

yES i do! i'vE SEEn MAgiC bEFoRE

 6. What is your greatest fear?

thAt EvERyonE i CARE About will lEAvE ME...

 7. How religious are you?

not vERy, i CAn't pRovE or diSpRovE Any REligionS so i pREfER to StAy NEUTRAL About it.

 8. Do you believe in soulmates/true love?

yES i bEliEvE EvERyonE hAS A SoulMAtE, EvEn thE woRST of pEoplE.

 9. What would you die (or otherwise go to extremes) for?

pEoplE i CARE About.

10. What do you believe makes a successful life?

wEll....living it thE wAy you wAnt to i SuppoSE.

11. Would you rather talk to someone over Trollian or face to face?

tRolliAN, it'S MuCh EASiER bECAuSE you hAvE MoRE timE to think About whAt you ARE sAying & thERES lESS StRESS.

 12. Do you know how to dance?

i likE to dAnCE but i wouldn't SAy i know how to SinCE i'M not good At it.

 13. What type of music do you like?

i don't hAvE A fAvouRitE typE, i likE All kindS of MuSiC.

 14. Hobbies?

wRiting, dAnCing, CRAFting...And SoMEtiMES i Sing.

  15. What's your most treasured possession? Why?  

i hAvE thESE bluE & SilvER MEtAL bRAClEtS i wEAR, i liKE the jingling Sound thEy MAkE.

=============================================================

A day in the life of Scmare Ttieer

1. You've got nothing to do. Who do you talk to?

pRobAbly My MoiRAil, oR SoMEonE ElSE CloSE to ME.

2. The sun is already high in the sky and you're still awake. What do you do to entertain yourself?

thiS hAppEnS A lot ACtuAlly, i uSuAlly plAy A vidEo gAME to pASS tiME.

3. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

i wAkE up, wASh off, tRAin A bit thEn juSt pASS tiME by doing ACtiviES i likE. & it dEpEndS on whAt thE diSRuption iS.

 4. Would you leap at the call to adventure, or would you have to be dragged along?

dRAggEd. advEntuRE iSn't My thing.

5. It's raining and the power is out, how do you spend the day?

i would REAd oR woRk on SoME CRAfting pRojECtS. MAybE pRACtiCE dRAwing.

  6.  Favourite food?  

i'M vERy fond of thE huMAn food, MAShEd potAtoES

=============================================================

Self Image Questions:  

1. What is your greatest strength?

My ACtuAl StREngth. oR MAybE how i CAn SEE thE bRight SidE of thingS.

 2. Greatest Weakness

how Shy i CAn bE.

3. What three words would you use to best describe your personality?

Shy, NEUTRAL, kind?

4. Do you think you're attractive?

not REAlly no

 5. Name two things you like about yourself. Two things you don't?

i likE My EyES & My hAiR, but i diSlikE My body & how Shy i CAn bE.

=============================================================

Backstory: Link to backstory cause this post doesn't need to be longer

[ddcassiere]

That’s exactly what happened

Jesus surrounded by tits - cheap chinese acrylic on cheap chinese A4 paper - Porto, April 2018

During my 2017-2019 busking, hitchiking, gigging, world tour, I couldnt help but painting most of my mornings away. 

(As I write, right now, I am hangover from few glasses of wine I had yesterday with my friends, I hope you accept the randomness of this post. I am 33 and it gets harder in the mornings..)

I had prepared other topics to talk through but I just realized that I would rather write this blogs on feelings of the moment rather than on a detailed plan. And that to me, this principle could be applied to anything. 

It’s not by chance that in one of the songs from Multipolar Vol. 1 I sing:

“..con l’aspettativa di non averti piu’, cara Aspettativa..” - Un Di-Di.

(with the expectation of having you no more, dear expectation)

song here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjYCJLvxe1I

full album here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xksf6hpuLlA&t=5s

At the moment I write this post, I am listening to Johnny Cash. Even though I cant say I have listened to him for more than just 5 years or so, I can tell you that this guy has had as much influence to me as any other huge icons of mine.

On a gloomy day of November 2016, I was resting in bed, having a free day from my then “normal’ job. I was so heavily depressed about not having time for playing that I could no more smile. 

I felt a fucking heavy weight on my chest and I started to consider seriously the idea of killing myself and goodbye everybody, goodbye stupid job, boring days and conversations, my time was dead anyway.

From times to times I would bring the guitar at work and after finishing the shift I would go to the main square of Wroclaw, Poland, open the case, throw in some of my own coins, expose my first album and start to play.

Me as a very happy employee - pic by friendly pic machine in Rome Tiburtina, right before leaving to Wroclaw, August 2015

I cant describe how happy you can be, to do something like that and just earn enough to keep you sheltered and fed. It sends you to space, seriously. You start levitate as you walk back homeward. Butterflies in the stomach. 

I would earn more in a hour than I would earn in the same time doing a shitty job. And the shitty job provided me with a rented apartment that, even though it was cozy, I never had time to actually enjoy, and with money that barely fed me and got me drunk on weekends to forget my shitty fucking boring life. That was it. 

I was earning money enough to keep me alive to go to work. Just like a slave. Just like pretty much everybody.

So I did start thinking it would have been a cool idea to try my life on the street. But I was never serious about that. 

Will I survive? Will I end up cold and hungry on a dark corner of a far away city? Will I this and will I that?..

It takes several kilos of balls to drop everything.. every comfort, every goddamn warm bed and new clothes, every new pair of shoes to follow your forever dreams.

And I didnt think I had those balls back then.

In the previous weeks, before that day laying in bed, I met and hosted few couchsurfers who encouraged me to do it. But that still wasnt enough.

Some calls it law of attraction, some call it fate, I think in my case it’s about planting seeds and wait for them to grow as spring comes through. So when that day I heard “I walk The line’ by Johnny Cash and precisely the first sentence, I felt like I had heard that song for the first time in my life. 

It was an epiphany of my whole being: “I find it very very easy to be true”.

A bit tired after the flight to Tehran - Jan 2017 - Pic by I forgot the name

In my belly I felt something was planted, some kind of flower of hope that would have grown and I just had to be careful enough to protect it from storms. 

Then few days after I had a dream. It was a very long dream and I will try to make it short. I had killed Tom Waits and I was in Jail with Michael Stipe from the R.e.m.

All my friends and colleagues were in jail with me. Nobody seemed to mind about being in jail. They all acted as if it was allright to be in jail.

I woke up earlier than usual and kept writing the dream on my little notebook as I was going to work with the tram. I felt very strange.

The day after I catched a fever. Violent fever that forced me in bed for a week. 

I listened to Johnny Cash again. Then something happened that I wouldnt know how to describe. Because I wasnt fully conscious of what it was by then.

Tow days earlier Leonard Cohen died. Two days after Trump was elected.

This is the amount of tobacco I smoke when I hear new like those - Tbilisi, Georgia, March 2017. 

I can just say that in a half an hour I found myself, as ragged and dirty and feverish I was from a week spent at home, right in front the door of the HR department of my job. Waiting in line to be received.

Then signing my resignation papers. Then going back home like a sleepwalker.

Then booking a flight to Tehran. Then booking a bus to Italy. Then throwing 3/4 of my clothes out the trash bins right outside the block. For the joy of the now very sharply dressed homeless guys.

Then packing. Then drinking an ice cold beer. All in all it took 3 hours to change my life. 

All I hadnt given away from the apartment in Wroclaw. And that was now coming to Italy with me. - Wroclaw old bus station, 2017 - Pic by Katarzyna Peukart

A month later I was a free man (as free as you can be in Iran) playing in Tehran and in Shiraz street Afif Habad. I will come back home in a moment I would say.

Sleepwalking in Rome, going to take my flight to Tehran - Rome 2017, pic by Nicole Simoncelli. 

Ready to leave? Pic by Nicole Simoncelli

But it went on and on. I hitchiked my way back to Europe and it took me two years. I slept out in on benches a couple of time here and there. In Greece, In Chech Republic, in Portugal. I travelled more than 20 countries mostly by autostop, I gigged wherever needed. I washed my clothes everyday in the hostel showers, by hand and by feet, I ate what I could eat and I tried to stay warm. Even though that wasnt always possible.

Playing setar in Esfahan. Creation by Sofya Zeinilava

Now I am tired of writing. I need to come back to my music. I promised a dear artist friend to send her some ambient music for her exhibition in Prague.  And tomorrow is Fat Jesus day so I need to work also on that. And there are so many other projects going on.

Posing with the clear blue sky of the smiley city of Tehran on the fucking I forgot the name of the bridge. Tabiat I think, yes I googled it and its Tabiat- Pic by Fatemeh A. - Tehran 2017

Johnny Cash still plays here in my flat in Italy. And I feel he is planting more seeds in me, and that I strongly feel the hitch to come back on the road.

And I feel things are changing inside of me. But I dont plan. 

Well I do, but in the end, if there is something I learned from these two years on the road, is that it’s not me that decides, but the music. As it has always been and as it will always be. Amen and see you next friday with “Naked Songs”

.Love, Courage and Joy to each and every one.

D.

[adamaminuddin]

hello, remember yesterday i told you about my imagination of us being at some green city in Europe i dont mean it like the United Nations punya green initiative on some eco friendly crap no no hahaha, what i meant was us being in some city *take Vienna for instance* remember that city? from Before Sunrise? haha yeah like that! 😊 we’re in that city and we stayed just outside Vienna at some blue lake surrounded by hills and so many trees 😄💛 god that must be a perfect setting of a holiday now ain’t it? hehe and then in the morning we’d stroll down Vienna’s square and buy fruits and you wear this colorfully amazing sundress and you wear this really big and wonderful hat like the one i edited in my snapchat post tu hahahah and then we stroll together on the gardens of Vienna and the small pathways that lead us to these bistros and then we take a hike on the hills and have picnic atop the hills and i play some country music and you danced to it and then we walk back to our small hotel and then i read a book on the balcony and you’d just roam around being an artist that you are haha 🙂💙 and then we watch an orchestra together at night i wear a tuxedo and you wear a very elegant dress and then we walk back after seeing the ensemble play and then we’d just drink grape juice while looking at Jasmine and her friends and then we make out lol i meant it romantically heheh 💜😎 you know that’s how i imagined our holiday would be u know at these cities hehe 😙💚 you know, i want to do it with you, all of it. and if the slightest of opportunities start crawling to us we’ll go okay sayang we'll go, and i promise you, you will have the time of your life with me. just five years intan, five years to go and then after we both got our degrees insha allah who knows, we might be able to start whatever beautiful future we planned to do together ♥️ just five years. with you, no words can describe how happy i am thinking about it. you’re gonna start your AS today and i am super proud of you no matter what sayang, super proud. u have tried your best studying as much as you can and i hope you can answer all the questions well. cause after that, it’s zoo time 🙂🙂❤️ of all the times i keep walking ahead of you, you stood by me. of all the times i kept hurting you, you stayed patient with the idiot that is me. honestly i could not put into words just how much i am eternally grateful to have you as my sidekick, my partner, my lover. thank you for being my girlfriend, thank you for staying put with me, thank you for all the things you’ve done to help me become a better person. if we keep going on like what we have been working on right now, i swear to god if i dont marry you, i dont think there’d be anyone else to make me feel what you make me feel sayang. i love you almost indefinitely sayang, i do. and i will not leave you okay, no matter how often you think of me leaving you. we belong together, forever. i belong to you, im yours, and i will be yours in the next 100 years sayang. you make me so happy, and i will spend my life every single day trying to make you as happy as you did to me. alas, this love letter is for you Intan. all of it, is my imagination with you. because darling, when the time comes, we will travel the world, and we’ll travel the world with our beautiful kids, with a happy heart, and still madly in love with one another ♥️💛 just wait, cause 8 years from now probably, you’d be walking around with me with a big fat ring on your finger, and that solidifies it, the endgame. you will be mine, forever. 🕊

[nurseyydex]

consider this: SMH & one direction

i just wanna talk about smh and 1d ok im so sorry this wasnt supposed to be this long i have no control 

dex grew up with sisters (let me have this he has a bunch of sisters ok) so not only was he completely unable to escape one direction he was not allowed to get away with any sort of ‘bands that have mainly young female fanbases are not real music’ misogyny that lots of teen boys and adult males have 

so he likes 1d he doesnt advertise but he had to listen to them a lot so he knows their entire discography and what they have some good songs ok bro 

so yeah they find their way into his workout playlists so fucking what man they’re fucking hype songs 

his fave is niall bc hes chill and just wants to drink beer and play his guitar and listen to dad rock and he’s irish (dex is irish and is grandma loves niall bc she’s irish and what a sweet young lad) he’s not like die hard niall stan but he knows all of the 1d discourse from his sisters debating (im willing to listen to other opinions my back up is louis bc hes a punk) 

he save up one year (and got help from his fam) to get tickets for his sisters to see a wwa concert as a birthday/christmas/every holiday present bc theyre expensive and they dont have a lot of money 

his mom technically bought the tickets he just helped pay for them and the girls surprised him with a ticket for him to come with (mama poindexter: well i cant let them go alone who’s gonna watch them you have to go make sure they dont get arrested for doing something stupid) dex played it cool but it was such a fun concert and so fun to hang out with his sisters tooo

nursey now is a goddamn hipster u cant tell me he isnt into a bunch of british alternative bands and bc of his brit music phase he knew about one direction from the very start at the x factor stage (he definitely mentions this all the goddamn time when they start becoming popular but he chills out through the years)

hes been to at least one concert for every tour (he even got tickets to the madison square garden show) - he went to every concert with his sister but it was his idea to go and she was just there to keep an eye on him

also a big reason he got into the band was zayn like heres a pakistani muslim boy who’s super talented with these white dudes and that representation is super important (i also hc nursey as muslim or at least partially but zayn is a brown muslim boy killing it so yeah its awesome) 

but nurseys fave tho is harry especially when harry is a total hoe with long hair and jewelry and those red carpet looks like nursey is in love but also in awe bc those sparkly boots and that floral suit like those are iconic Looks™ and nursey loves it bc gender isnt real and he loves hoe looks (zayn is like 1.5 tho bc nursey is in love)

nursey tries to serenade dex with little things one day when they’re chilling by the pond on the grass and dex punches him bc nursey is making him emo even when he knows dex doesnt have emotions (in public in front of people who can see him cry)

bitty likes them they’re no beyonce but theyre fun and attractive and yeah hes gonna have some fun dancing to them he isn’t really up with all the drama and disc*urse until the boys have 1d nights and they watch this is us and the concert dvds bc he learns a lot 

he loves 2013 era harry and all the time liam (that boy is thicc and bitty 100% does not swoon)

holster like come tf on holster loves them he unironically and passionately loves one direction completely unashamed he does not care for your opinions and no one makes fun of him bc he’s a 6′4 fucking big ass hockey player who could drop kick u across campus if he wanted to

he claims he doesnt have a fave but he would die for all of them 

his fave rotates seasonally and he has a different fave for each era 

he went to the tmh tour and he’s gone to every tour since - he goes with his sisters bc its a bonding topic for them he sits at the edge of the floor or at the end of a row on the sides bc hes so tall he feels so bad and he tries to stay out of the way of the little girls behind him but hes nice to them and talks to them and so they like him even if hes a giant

but really he and his sisters are so close bc they have a lot of similar interests and they talk about pop culture stuff and its hard to keep intouch when hes away so much but they have group chats about 1d and tv shows and stuff so its so nice for them to keep up a strong bonding time 

ransom is a britney bitch and holster dragged him into 1d. he’s in it for the memes and the drama really. (he likes the songs and thinks its fun but he wouldnt have been a fan and gone to concerts if it wasnt for holtz)

holster takes him to the wwa concert and they have a blast 

holster also drags his ass to see this is us opening night (they both cry)

chowder just loves everyone and he doesnt understand why people hate 1d (or other pop artists with majority young female fan bases that ppl hate bc misogyny) when theyre so fun he’s not an active /fan/ until smh has team bonding nights involving one direction jam sessions and concert dvd watching and drunk history

on such 1d nights they put on one of the dvds and it accidentally turns into a drinking game (mainly drinking bc this part of my god did u see that !!! THAT NOTE CHANGE !!!! and ZAYN WHY !!!! and other painful parts) and some of them *cough* nursey dex and holster *cough* get possibly the most drunk they ever get bc of this 

theres loud awful drunk singing along and some sobbing (this is definitely not based off of any sort of personal experience whatsoever nope never done this before) 

after the movie when everyone is so drunk they talk about 1d history which is how the veterans teach the others about the exciting drama and disc*urse  

lardo is a bad bitch who is tough as fuck and manages a division I mens hockey team and every single one of them is afraid of her. AND she would not let any bro tease her for liking one direction bc why the fuck not. 

she has plenty of their songs thrown in arting playlists and in pump up playlists 

and she knows theres nothing better to cheer holster up when he’s having a rough day than a 1d dance sesh 

dont forget where you belong is the first song on her team bonding playlist bc its a love song to ur bandmates which transfers very well to love songs to ur teammates 

shitty unapologetically loves 1d and boy bands and girl bands and he supports all things that young girls love but are not taken seriously bc girls like them 

he’s written at least 3 papers/projects on the misogyny surrounding young girls and their interests and involvement in fandom and also boybands (he tries to fight all guys who disrespect girls’ interests and the power of teenage girls)

he’ll randomly show up to a 1d night bc obvi he’s in that gc and he’s ready to party and express emotions and dance and talk drama 

he loves harry bc “THAT FLOW MAN!!! HIS FLOW IS SO SICK!!!”

he cried when harry posted the pic of the hair he chopped off and cried when he saw the another man shoot where harry was defying all sorts of societal norms it was beautiful and his flow is still so nice even this short its ok it’ll grow back better than before

one friday night the lax bros sneak over to try to prank the haus and peak in the window and see half of the hockey team in the living room drunk off their ass singing loudly to a one direction concert on the tv - holster and nursey jumping around attempting to dance along, ransom clinging to bitty on the floor crying about a ‘hiatus’, bitty soothing ransom, dex forgetting about the drink in his one hand to drink rum from the bottle, shitty naked (not surprising) and slow dancing with a life sized cut-out of harry styles with tears streaming down his face (more surprising), and chowder lying on the couch singing through mouthfuls of pie 

they walk back to the lax bro house without executing the prank and they never mention it again

[mavwrekmarketing]

Image: Kathy Willens, File/AP PHOTO

Just as it was starting to seem like no one would agree to perform at Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration Jan. 20, it was announced that the Rockettes would be dancing at the event.

Some of the renowned dancers and other allies have started to post online about not wanting to perform for a man who has openly objectified women and has been accused of sexual assault.

In response, the Rockettes’ union, the American Guild of Variety Artists, was reportedly forcing all full-time Rockettes to perform at the inauguration, saying that boycotting the event would be “invalid.”

“It is a job, and all of you should consider it an honor, no matter who is being sworn in,” an email sent to the Rockettes by the American Guild of Variety Artists read.

Then, the Madison Square Garden Company, which produces the Rockettes shows, released a statement late this morning explaining that only those who choose to perform may do so.

.@MSG says “it is always their choice” in new statement on #Rockettes performing at Trump inauguration https://t.co/6CjiuSCFAG http://pic.twitter.com/gbDIrROqbW

Jackie Strause (@jackiedstrause) December 23, 2016

Mikyl Cordova of the MSG Company sent a statement to Mashable to further clarify.

“Women are never compelled to perform whether for regular performances or inaugurationswe had more Rockettes request to participate than there were spots,” she said.

SEE ALSO: ‘P*ssy grabbing’ threats are now a thing in Trump’s America

The change in stance might have been brought about by the increased attention to outspoken Rockettes voicing their protest to work the event on social media.

Rockette Phoebe Pearl wrote an Instagram post expressing her disdain about being forced to perform at Trump’s inauguration.

Image: PHOEBE PEARL/INSTAGRAMSCREENSHOT VIAnypost

Her post reads:

I usually dont use social media to make a political stand but I feel overwhelmed with emotion. Finding out that it has been decided for us that Rockettes will be performing at the Presidential inauguration makes me feel embarrassed and disappointed. The women I work with are intelligent and are full of love and the decision of performing for a man that stands for everything were against is appalling. I am speaking for just myself but please know that after we found out this news, we have been performing with tears in our eyes and heavy hearts #notmypresident

While Pearl says she is only speaking for herself, she implies that many of her fellow Rockettes feel similarly.

A former Rockette wrote an open letter, tweeted out by Ani Maeme, about how devastated she was to hear that Rockettes are being forced to perform.

@jenstatsky More details from former Rockette and contact info for Producers #Inauguration2017#January20th#SwampMonster#Rockettes http://pic.twitter.com/G05ydQmsr5

Animaeme (@animaeme) December 23, 2016

“The Rockettes are not just leggy, happy showgirls. They are dedicated, highly-trained, ridiculously hardworking WOMEN. I love what they stand for,” the former Rockette wrote. “And for them to be paraded in front of a man who has demonstrated a complete lack of respect for women (and has been accused of even worse), flies in the face of everything the women of The Rockettes actually are.”

She continued by urging those in support of the Rockettes to contact the Madison Square Garden Company and the AGVA.

Many who believe the Rockettes shouldn’t have to perform shared their thoughts on social media.

Hey @RadioCity, Don’t force the Rockettes to perform when they despise even the mention of Trump’s name. Don’t do it. #inauguration

steven pasquale (@StevePasquale) December 23, 2016

As a performer in SAG-AFTRA & Equity, I place faith in my union to support me if my work place is unsafe. #AGVA, do your part w/ @Rockettes.

happy sparksidays (@kyliesparks) December 23, 2016

By saying that all full timers are required to perform at the inauguration, the AGVA is suggesting that their employment will be terminated if they do not comply.

However, MSG’s statement means that the social media outrage against this situation was actually productive, since the full time Rockettes are now no longer required to perform at the inauguration. It also presents a new twist: that many of the Rockettes are willing to perform for Trump.

You can read the full email that BroadwayWorld released from “a high-ranking member” of the American Guild of Variety Artists’ administration sent to the Rockettes below:

We have received an email from a Rockette expressing concern about getting “involved in a dangerous political climate” but I must remind you that you are all employees, and as a company, Mr. Dolan obviously wants the Rockettes to be represented at our country’s Presidential inauguration, as they were in 2001 & 2005. Any talk of boycotting this event is invalid, I’m afraid.

We have been made aware of what is going on Facebook and other social media, however, this does not change anything unless Radio City has a change of heart. The ranting of the public is just that, ranting. Everyone has a right to an opinion, but this does not change your employment status for those who are full time.

This has nothing to do with anyone’s political leanings (including AGVA’s), it has to do with your best performance for your employer, period. I will reiterate that if Hillary Clinton was the President-elect, nothing would be different, and there would probably be those who would not want to be involved because of her. It is a job, and all of you should consider it an honor, no matter who is being sworn in. The election is over and this country will not survive if it remains divided.

Everyone is entitled to her own political beliefs, but there is no room for this in the workplace.

If you are not full time, you do not have to sign up to do this work. If you are full time, you are obligated. Doing the best performance to reflect an American Institution which has been here for over 90 years is your job. I hope this pulls into focus the bottom line on this work.

Mashable has reached out to the American Guild of Variety Artists for further comment.

UPDATE: Dec. 23, 2016, 3:05 p.m. EST This post was updated to include a quote from a Madison Square Garden Company spokesperson.

BONUS: Ridiculous Fox anchor to Teen Vogue writer: ‘stick to the thigh-high boots’

Read more: http://ift.tt/2i2RFwy

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