#seems painfully obvious
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Can I talk about how I've been called by at least 4 separate people today, all unknown numbers but with one thing in common: asking for someone I wasn't.
And not just "oops wrong number hehe".
No.
Twas four different people calling a different number which each got forwarded to my fucking number. So, based on what these people have called me for, I am now all of these people:
The emergency responders
The hospital
Jerry
The roman catholic division of a hospital
#sir i am the farthest thing from a roman catholic division#would you like me to do my little gay dance#transgender#bisexual#seems painfully obvious
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merlin (immortal) giving arthur (pendragon) the only blade that could kill him
#they make me SICK#i hate them so much#if arthur had found out about his magic earlier and took it poorly…he’d be the only person able to kill him#merlin handing over the sword as a symbol of his utter trust in arthur#god imagine arthur finding out (au everyone lives) and being torn between wanting to cast the sword away but also wanting to keep it on him#he hates the weight of merlins life that now seems attached to the blade#he doesnt want it#but he cant cast it away bc what if someone gets their hands on it?? then merlins life is in their hands#he is BAFFLED that merlin would give HIM - uther pendragons son - the only thing that could kill him#he asks after days of fitful sleep and consideration and merlin is just like#‘its /you/ arthur.’ he says like its painfully obvious#NCJGSKSNSDIBSKSB TEYH MKAE ME VIOELTNT#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#excalibur#immortal merlin#merthur#im just thinking of percabeth when percy tells annabeth where his mortal point is and she is the ONLY person who knows#and she has to carry that tidbit of information around like its not the heaviest burden shes ever carried - more so than the sky#that one quote 'love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to'#idk you get it#arthur and annabeth being the only people who can destroy the one they love#merlin and percy having unwavering trust and faith in their other half that they place their life in their hands#literally#sorry im done
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Renegade Nell - s01e08 "Not Some Cheap Trick"
#renegade nell#renegadenelledit#sofia is just... 100% in her fake it till you make it era#the whole season she just seems so out of her depth#she tries to take whatever power#whatever control she can get#but it's always so painfully obvious she's not in her element#i was almost rooting for her to get more evil#just so i could finally see her in control of her own situation#(also: her obsession with nell the whole season? gay)
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Are -
Are we just accepting Pimfah's "crush" on Sailom at face value?
Because I keep seeing that in the tags, but at the end of Dangerous Romance Ep 5, I'm sitting here looking at a girl who's 1000x smarter than Kanghan (sorry, baby), who's the only person other than his grandma who we've seen be interested in supporting Kanghan moving in any kind of positive and improvement direction, who's repeatedly noticed Kanghan being weirdly focused on Sailom for at least an episode and a half, who has shown zero personal interest in Sailom prior to this other than to ask him to be her tutor so that Kanghan didn't stroke out in front of her eyes over Sailom working as an escort to earn money, and who above all has seen how jealous and possessive Kanghan is over Sailom and how that's activated by anyone else showing interest in Sailom - whether that's a client handfeeding Sailom or Pimfah, herself, trying to poach Sailom as a tutor.
Maybe I'll be proved wrong next ep, but at no point did I actually believe Pimfah was doing anything other than trying to manipulate Kanghan into admitting and possibly taking action on his stupidly embarrassingly obvious crush on Sailom (rather than continue the script that I bet their dads have set out of Kanghan and Pimfah eventually getting married).
#this -#this seems painfully obvious to me?#maybe i've missed something?#pimfah (dr)#kanghan krittin#sailom homchan#kanghansailom#dangerous romance#loveblogging ep 5
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really really love playing dolls with ocs in the brainzone and going thru interactions and further development coming from that i love when it feels like you just naturally found out more about a person anyway
#talkys#i KNEW he didn't realize the effect things had on him. but also damn i didnt know either!!!!#a smarter person wouldve set this up from the beginning since now it seems sooo painfully obvious writing wise. but we didnt knowww!#ok work now for real
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And also, I saw a (presumably) American Jew get in a fight with an Israeli because the Israeli expressed... uncharitable thoughts toward Palestinians. This came from a place of frustration and resentment that non Israelis simply won't understand on a visceral level.
But the American Jew decried the Israeli as "not living up to Jewish values." I hope everyone realizes that half of Israelis are completely secular. Their Jewish identity has nothing to do with religious beliefs or practices.
The IDF does not consult the Shulkhan Arukh before making military decisions. The Israeli government is not pondering what the Great Sages of the Talmudic era would think of every law they pass. I'm sorry but for millions of Israelis they don't care. Your invoking Tikkun Olam or Pikuach Nefesh or this or that or the third thing won't sway many Israelis.
They don't live their lives by the Torah, and you come across as incredibly preachy and corny when you try to lecture them about how they're not "upholding Jewish values," when they, in this example, don't give Life unparalleled primacy. That's one of your values, and that's awesome, and most Rabbis would agree it is a core value of Judaism, but Israelis are not failing to be Good Jews when they don't live their lives by this or any other value.
Israel is a real country with real concerns, full of real people who need practical solutions to everyday problems. We as Americans probably are more religious than non-Orthodox Israelis on the whole, because religious thought and practice is a more necessary component of a Jewish identity here. You need to define yourself against the gentile majority. That's not the case in Israel. And religious Israelis often simply can't afford to have this demure affectation of nonviolence.
I don't know it just rubbed me the wrong way, to see an Israeli declare they didn't care about Palestinians going hungry, clearly from a place of pain, and to see Americans wag their fingers and say "Ugh you're being such a bad Jew!"
#hmm is it my place to comment on this? Doubtful!#and it's painfully obvious what this is about iykyk but oh well#like for a lot of Diaspora Jews it seems the main takeaway of the Gaza war#Is that it's making them look bad and not that Israelis are trying to get the hostages back and not be massacred by Hamas?
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Ough I need to avoid my TAZ shelf when I'm tired, because reminding myself that The Adventure Zine and the graphic novels are right next to each other and how painful some of the differences between them are legitimately gives me a migraine. That and my eyes are weird so looking at comics for too long just does that anyways but I digress
#gods it hurts. like i can see the dates these are all printed and i can see the dates the original episodes were posted#and it's like. maybe it was accidental and maybe the vision for his character just happened to change naturally around that time. but.#it feels so painfully obvious when the changes to how Jocasta specifically is drawn were made and why (for part of it at least)#no idea where some of the really fucked up 'unintentional' implications came from but it's obvious SOMETHING changed#cuz man. like maybe it's JUST ME but it really just feels idk. icky. gross. makes my skin crawl.#maybe it's just cause these are close to tropes that I've had to become extremely aware of in other media cuz of how it depicts ppl like me#but like. i can't look at the two next to each other without feeling like legitimately icked out even though it's just a comic#idk. just don't really have anyone i can vent to that seems to take my feelings seriously because it's 'just a drawing you're overreacting'#other than my girlfriend who has very kindly listened to me get some of those frustrations out but at this point she's heard it all already#so there's like. nobody i trust to actually listen to why it makes me feel bad without judging me for being 'too negative' about a dumb GN#vent#tw taz gn#tag gn trigger warning
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To take a sleeping tablet or to not take a sleeping tablet, that is the question
#txt#im so frustrated and angry tonight#i probably dont need it but im at that point of emotional processes with the break up#plus i havent had weed in 2 weeks#plus i have no friends#my 'best friend'hasnt made an effort to come see me#i said i dont want to go out but whats stopping her from just coming to see me for a bit#***** presumably#dont want to admit that shes going down that path again but it seems painfully obvious#ive done so fucking much for her all through my teen years and 20s and she cant even give me a crumb of affection or friendship#when im going through one of the hardest times of my life#ive alwayalwaysalways been there for her this is like a knife to my heart#im not doing well at all#cant even complain to my ex because hes my ex so the fuck man#too many people doing wrong by their children and it pisses me ofg#im so mad about so many things tonight
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I never play Genshin with audio on bc I hate Paimon’s voice and she never stops TALKING
This is not helped by the fact that Genshin fully thinks you are a helpless idiot
#GIRLIE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO OVER EXPLAIN FUCKING EVERYTHING#she’s supposed to be an audience surrogate for the questions they may ask but since she asks the most obvious questions known to man#she just seems like an annoying idiot who never shuts up#her characterization is loose and not well established bc she’ll change her personality depending on what questions ‘need’ to be asked#even though the answers are PAINFULLY OBVIOUS#she then overexplains what has already been explained and recaps what has JUST BEEN TOLD#she doesn’t have fun banter with anyone because it’s the same dynamic every! single! time!#she asks stupid questions. the character explains. she continues to ask stupid questions. traveler makes a snarky remark. she gets offended#sometimes if the character has the personality for it they rile her up and she gets annoyed with them#even though 9 times outta 10 they weren’t actually being that annoying and she had to break character for it to happen#(like why would Paimon give a fuck about immortality and why would she get annoyed that the sentient snake doesn’t want her to be her host?#why would Paimon even want to be a host in the first place??)#i KNOOOOW Genshin is the game where everybody is gimmicky and no one has more than 2 personality traits but it’s frustrating#and also the cutscenes that start out of nowhere just to deliver stupidly obvious information… thanks Paimon I didn’t fucking need it#whyyyyy does every story quest have a cutscene every 5 steps that tells you Exactly What Just Happened even though we HAVE EYES#I was genuinely shocked when I played Yelan’s story quest simply because it was the ONE TIME you weren’t outright told all the information#like. the information was still painfully obvious but Paimon wasn’t screaming it in your ear#Paimon is eternally confused. how does she even breathe without someone telling her exactly how to do it?#snack time#genshin impact#tag rant
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// Trying to play a chess game on my phone and resorting to trial and error as a reminder that I have zero of my muses logic and strategizing skills
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my redbubble will be live soon ! i uploaded 5 designs so it'll show up soon, eventually- maybe ?... I don't know, I don't know much about redbubble, oops
check back again later for links to it ! I have over 200 patterns to upload though so it's gonna take a while for I to have a full collection of my designs- message me if there's some you'd like me to prioritize uploading, I'll deal with those first
#this is taking me as long as it does because my patterns are just a nightmare to prep for print jobs#they have hard non aliased edges; lots of little pixels & unprintable colours like extra vivid blues & all#all sorts of things printers hate and can't reproduce#so I have to heavily edit them by hand; and to boot it's a case per case thing so I can't really automate it#and to boot I have not a single clue what im doing- i only have the vaguest idea of what im supposed to aim for#but no real knowledge here; i dont know shit#I also have to upscale them bc theyre 2048px squares#but for printing shit it's better if they're At Least twice that#I get to tile the patterns for some stuff like scarves n shit tho which makes me SO grateful most of my content is seamless#but still#I also just realized that i have for the third time today forgotten to go look at what margins artists set for their shit#so i'll go do that bc i dont want to be ridiculously cheaper than other people but i also dont wanna risk being unaffordable#but like holy shit it's so painfully obvious i have no idea what im doing im so sorry fhdfgbhdjk#update : seems like people don't really move that far away from the baseline prices#well thats good news#i dont want to edit the percentages for all of my shit#i'm uneasy though#bc i just. hate doing shit with no formal education on the topic whatsoever#i kind of feel like a fraud; figuring that shit on the fly as if i can rewrite the book on how to do this#im basically constantly whinning to my print engineer gothfriend for help/opinions#but im still. not at ease at all
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i just need adhd frank to be a real headcanon and i’m not gonna google it cause i’m gonna get upset that people disagree about it.
#shameless#adhd headcanon#i mean it's painfully obvious#the way any minor thing he disagrees with#starts an infodump episode for him#and people have no idea what he's on about#because it's so jumpy#the way he thinks#like things don't seem to have a coherent connection#UNLESS#you're neurdivergent like him#then you understand#because i do that too#or i did before i realised that's not a trait most people like#anyway#and then there's the addiction#and executive dysfunction#gallaghers are neurodivergent#they have neurodivergent genetics#lip being a genius for one#but being unable to stay in college#and they remind me a bit of the neurodivergent side of my family (my dad's)#but yeah someone knew what they were doing when they wrote this show
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Why do I feel guilty for being happy? Like I am happiest sitting in the trunk of the car at the lake alone reading and listening to music and watching movies and just being alone in the van and then I have to like force myself to get back in the drivers seat and go home to be alone at home like even if I did the same stuff in my bedroom it wouldn't make me happy the same way. I feel so bad for this change I feel like I'm avoiding my mom when I'm not it's just like memories of dad and friends I don't talk to anymore and like yeah it's just a lot easier to sit in the car and be happy so why do I feel so bad when I'm happy driving around
#i love my mom I love my bedroom I love my dog I love my house I love my yard and my neighbors but why did he have to die down the street#like dude#it's literally the closer I get to my house the worse this fucking black cloud is over my head#i just want to get away from it and the twenty minutes to drive to the lake seems to be just enough for me to get away from it all and just#live in the moment#and it's perfect. it's fucking perfect. but then I have to get up and go home cause I can't sit in the car forever#and I used to sit in the driveway at the old house parked for an hour after I got home#but now we've got real neighbors and no trees surrounding the yard we're so painfully visable to everyone I just want to sit outside but#also hide from the world at the same time and that's why I miss New England and trees surrounding my bedroom and climbing out my window to#smoke on a little wooden stool I made in eighth grade and I miss that old house so much and I can never go back and they cut all the trees#down anyways#the trees that watched me cry when I walked home from school and jump rope and laugh and smoke cigs with my best friend at the time and now#the trees are gone#it feels like a piece of me is still with that house in New Hampshire even though new people live there and maybe there's a part of my dad#there too that I'm not getting back#i can see him so clearly in my brain sitting at his desk in that house#i can see it clearer than I can see him anywhere in the new house he isn't with us he is in New Hampshire he isn't here it's so painfully#obvious that he isn't here anymore and it just hurts I don't wanna think about the house I just want to sit at the lake and cry in the trunk#like I'm doing rn cause fuck I made the tears happen thinking about New Hampshire and growing up and changing and death and my dad#it's just really hard to deal with sometimes and I had a great day today but I'm still ending it by crying
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got berated the other day bc i didnt wanna talk to a guy which led to the most uncomfortable small talk ive ever experienced with said guy
#racing!#context is he is my best friends brother. they both talk to each other a lot and i talk tk her a lot#i dont talk to her brother bc he used to treat me like shit and also hes got a painfully obvious crush on me that i dont wanna feed into#he doesnt initiate conversations w me bc of the aforementioned crush + to his credit he does feel bad about how he treated me before#unfortunately the two of them are basically glued together for the forseeable future so i have to talk to him fairly regularly#friend seems to be encouraging the crush bc she thinks its cute but its genuinely making me super uncomfortable#however. i dont wanna seem like a raging asshole by telling her that#for a while i avoided him by visiting later at nighf after hes gone to bed but that doesnt work anymore bc he stsys up all fucking night#i dont know how to tell him im not interested without seeming like an inconsiderate asshole
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#ok so me think kylian coming was very very useless#one he doesn't seem to fit in with the squad#and it's painfully obvious they're starting to grow distance#also I think Vini and kylian have this insane obsession with getting goals#yesterday they were both standing on the LW for no reason while Jude was trying to play the ball#and not the dick ride but I feel like jude will end up being tired of playing in the mid field#he's not getting in goals
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truly in rhe worst headspace feeling out of my mind rn cause i socialized with people for an action and so many tjingd came up
#1 its really hard to be like 1 out of 2 fat people in a group of 25 like i did not miss this part of being fat when i was skinny lol#2 im just painfully boring to talk to i feel like i dont really know how to emote with my voice and so everything just sounds really flat#3 i dont really get a majority of jokes people make or i just dont find them funny and its really painful being the only person in the car n#not laughing or trying to pretend to laugh but its just an obvious fake laugh like i dont get jokes or references or i dont know enough abou#about life to know when things are funny or how to relate to them enough to know what the average reaction should be#so that comes back to point 2 where its just fucking boring as hell to talk to me because everything you tell me i jusr react with 'oh' or#if its a mundane thing i over react because im thinking thats how the average person would react to it but then i just sound strange#4 my ocd was going wild todau because i have intrusive thoughts about 'what if i believe (immoral thing)'#which really doesnt help me at an action for palestine because well im just questioning how i eben feel about it eben tho i know how i feel#anout it (positively$#like i just feel like everything i do is wrong#i feel so out of place in every situation no matter where i am#my body is too big and i just cant relate to the average person it seems like#my body isnt too big but when youre in a group where youre like one of the only bigger people ueah thats how it feels#and in a really cramped car#covid resllt ruined my social ability to relate to others and stuff i feel like im just a boring ugly ball of nothig basically that people#have to interact with#i#also i should clarify no ones body is too big or too small or too much of anytjing#also feel like i need to clarify yes the intrusive thoughts about immoral things and things that go against my moral code are intrusive they#arent real
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