#They also probably don’t mention it in fear of seeming crazy
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
pavlov-sdog · 5 days ago
Text
Many posts lately have got me thinking about how Bell mentions struggling with remembering things at the beginning of the campaign and then basically never mentioning it again.
Each time they do they’re quickly brushed off, even when its not just something small or reasonable to forget. When talking to Park after fractured jaw, Park says that Bell supposedly spent hours decrypting the dossier, yet they have absolutely no memory of it. 
While we don’t see much of it, it wouldn’t be a shock that memory issues effect Bell a lot, we just don’t hear much about it. Imagine being so confused about losing so many hours worth of your memory and your colleagues and even most trusted friend just tell you to take a nap, maybe you need more coffee, oh don’t be so silly how could you possibly forget? Bell probably just gets to a point they avoid mentioning it knowing they’ll just be brushed off. They’re left to question their sanity and how much else they could’ve possibly forgotten with no support system. Also probably half the things Bell ‘forgot’ are things that never happened in the first place, the team is just lying to them, making it even harder.
58 notes · View notes
adieutristana · 13 days ago
Text
love languages; arcane women x fem! reader
Tumblr media
heeeyyy guys... my birthday is in exactly 6 days (the 16th) just thought you should know
summary: headcanons of how arcane characters express all five love languages.
characters included: jinx, vi, mel, sevika, maddie, lest.
tags/warnings: fluff, slight hurt/comfort, mentions of poor mental health, smoking mention, maaaaybe the slightest bit suggestive?, just a lot of fluff
men and minors dni.
jinx;
✧.* words of affirmation; jinx is not good with words, she never has been. trying to rationalize her feelings with words seems next to impossible for the girl, but she’ll still try. at first, it starts with little compliments in passing. “you’re so beautiful, toots…” she’ll whisper, or, “you make things a lot less boring around here.” but over time, it’ll grow into jinx assuring you how much she loves you. that you make her happy, because she sees how happy it makes you to hear that.
“i love you a lot, sugar, don’t forget that!” she’d say, a goofy grin on her face. “y’know how to make a girl happy, that’s for sure.”
✧.* quality time; quality time is probably one of jinx’s strongest love languages, next to gift giving. she wants to include you in absolutely everything she does. whether that be dragging you along to run errands (for bomb supplies or stolen goods) with her, watching her tinker, tagging walls in the undercity together, or simply enjoying each others’ presence while eating, jinx loves it. she loves every second she gets with you, it helps keep her grounded. the voices grow quieter, her demeanor visibly shifts, and you can see little hints of powder coming out.
✧.* physical touch; jinx is extremely touch-starved at the beginning of your relationship. not only that, but she’s a bit fearful of touch. you do have to ease her into being okay with the idea of being touched with light squeezes on the shoulder, hugs that seem too short, and soft kisses to her hands. but over time, jinx grows to love physical touch. kissing your shoulders, neck, forehead, temples, anywhere. falling asleep on top of you. placing you in her lap no matter how tall you are. jinx grows to love the proximity.
✧.* acts of service; jinx likes to try and do favors for you, but she kind of… messes them up? unintentionally, of course. but if you ask her to run errands for her, you’ll have to be very specific about you want because she might accidentally pick up the wrong thing, and also specify that you’d like her to pay for it. she also may want to cook for you, but jinx should not be trusted in a kitchen. overall, jinx does enjoy trying to do little acts of service for you! but in her own way.
✧.* gift giving; gift giving is probably jinx’s strongest love language. she hand makes all of her bombs and gadgets, so naturally, she’d hand make gifts for her girlfriend! she’ll make you crude stick-figure drawings of the two of you with little hearts around them, smoke bombs in your favorite colors, and charm necklaces out of scrap metal. putting her time and energy into making things for you is jinx’s ultimate showcase of her love. she prides herself on her creations!
“look! i made this!” jinx would beam, dropping a piece of jewelry into your lap. a charm bracelet filled with little trinkets she crafted and a matching necklace. “isn’t it neat?! do you like it?”
vi;
✧.* words of affirmation; although vi isn’t always the best with words, she does truly value words of affirmation. to her, actions speak louder than words, but words can do a hell of a job, too. she’ll tell you again and again just how much she loves you. complimenting you, using one of her millions of pet names for you, letting you know how crazy she is for you.
“i can’t go a second without thinking about you, cupcake. you know that? don’t ever think that you’re not important to me, because truth be told, i’m crazy about you. i always will be.”
✧.* quality time; vi loves any moment she gets with you. whether that be time spent laughing over cheesy jokes in the last drop, playfully sparring with you, or naps curled into each other, vi can’t get enough. she’d show up at your door unannounced, asking if she can come in because she misses you despite seeing you the day prior (and the day before that.) she does enjoy her alone time as well, so she won’t be attached to you at the hip necessarily, but vi does enjoy her time with you. she’s at her happiest when she’s with her girlfriend.
✧.* physical touch; vi is a sucker for physical touch. it’s probably her strongest love language. vi always has to be touching you somehow- it’s both her love for you and her protective nature. an arm around you, hand resting firmly on your waist. snaking her arms around you from behind with a hum. kisses peppered all over your face as she drinks in the sound of your giggles. putting her hand atop yours when sat together. pressing you flush against her chest during late night cuddles. sleeping with her face in the crook of your neck and using her calloused fingers to draw little shapes into your bare back or arms. it’s all just so addictive to vi.
“hm…” vi would hum, using the pad of her thumbs to trace little stars and hearts into the skin of your lower back. laying her head on your shoulder, pink locks tickling your neck. “you’re so soft. so warm.”
✧.* acts of service; vi does everything she can to make your life easier. she’d slip your shoes on for you and buy all of your groceries and carry you out of bed every morning just to save the hassle if you’d allow her, but she settles for making you meals and doing little favors for you. i think vi can actually cook fairly well- she did have to look after powder for so many years. she’ll make you breakfast at least twice a week, she’ll put away your laundry after a particularly long day, and run errands for you. she’ll always return with a cheesy grin on her face. vi enjoys it, she both feels useful and gets to see her girl happy. it’s a win-win.
✧.* gift giving; i honestly can’t see vi caring much for gift giving. but if she does, she’d give you things she knows can be practical in daily life. household supplies, food ingredients, and replacements for broken appliances. it’s not that she doesn’t see the point in gift-giving, it’s just that vi doesn’t want to be wasteful- mostly due to her upbringing. she doesn’t see the use for having more than she needs, so she’d probably apply that same logic to giving gifts.
mel;
✧.* words of affirmation; mel is so good when it comes to communication, and by extension, words of affirmation. the councilwoman is always telling you how important you are to her, how beautiful you are, how happy you make her. the fact that she can’t imagine a life without you. you are her sun, her sky, her galaxy. mel knows exactly how to use her words to make you feel loved.
“i waited all day to see you, dearest…” mel would whisper, her soft hand tracing your cheek and coming up to cup it. running the pad of her thumb across your cheek so gently. “the council can be so dull. i couldn’t take my mind off of you, truth be told. you just motivate me to keep going- you’ll always be waiting for me.”
✧.* quality time; mel doesn’t necessarily have much time to spare. being caught up with the council, her own family affairs, and being something of a socialite, mel is frequently busy. but that makes the time she does get alone with you so much more valuable. she’ll have you by her side while doing last-minute paperwork, drag out mornings so she can get just a few more minutes with you, clinging to any little moment she gets. mel also enjoys including you where she can, so she’ll take you to galas and meetings that’ll allow guests.
✧.* physical touch; mel cannot get enough of physical touch. she has the restraint of a warrior, otherwise she would be touching you somehow 24/7. she loves to loop your arm around hers, elbows linked, she loves to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or interlace your fingers. she loves kissing- probably her favorite form of physical touch. there’s very little mel loves more than your lips on hers, her lips on your temples, her lips trailing up your arm to meet your shoulder, then up your neck and to your lips. leaving a trail of glittering lipstick the whole way. she craves the proximity, the warmth, the companionship. she also loves sharing a bed with you. she doesn’t mind being the big or little spoon, as long as she gets to be close to you somehow. clinging to you or vice versa while sleeping makes mel melt.
✧.* acts of service; mel tries to help you with things around the house and run errands for you, but she’s usually the one who needs favors. that’s not to say that she won’t fold your laundry if you ask her to or help you wash your hair, but she’s usually caught up with what she has to do and what she needs help with. when it comes to acts of service, mel is usually on the receiving end.
✧.* gift giving; gods help you, mel will spoil you rotten with gifts. it’s not only because she’s incredibly wealthy and luxury goods won’t put a dent in her account, but just because she loves seeing your expression when she presents you with something she knows you’ve been looking at. she gives the best gifts and goes above and beyond. if you mentioned needing a hair dryer, she’ll get you one- as well as a bunch of different diffusers, different types of brushes or combs, and hair treatments. if you’re walking down a street and stare at something in a shop window for a little too long, mel takes a mental note. the next time you see each other, she has the item you were looking at in her hands. jewelry, knick-knacks, sweets, and new clothing are her favorite things to gift you.
“mel, you really didn’t have to.” you’d whisper, holding a pair of brand-new golden hoop earrings, in the shape of stars. “nonsense. you had your eyes on them, so you naturally had to have them.”
sevika;
✧.* words of affirmation; sevika is not good with words. she’s not good at being vulnerable. so words of affirmation are definitely something that she struggles with. she’ll comfort you, she’ll reassure you, and she’ll be a shoulder for you to cry on, but talking about her own feelings is just… difficult for sevika. regardless, she’ll try.
“look. i don’t do this… i don’t know how to.” sevika would whisper, looking… somewhere. not at you, it’s clear that she’s nervous. “i love you. i love you a lot.”
✧.* quality time; sevika loves her quality time with you. yes, she’s a busy woman, but she’ll still do her best to involve you in everything she can. running errands for silco, filling out piles of paperwork, late night games at the casino, etc. even if it’s something as simple as a smoke break outside, sevika wants you to be by her side (unless you have problems with that, then she doesn’t mind). she’ll do the same for you, of course. she wants to be involved however she can be, so even if you’re doing something as mundane as picking up a prescription, sevika wants to be there with you!
✧.* physical touch; sevika was very touch-starved before she met you. no time nor desire for relationships, the only companionship she had coming from zaun’s brothel. so now, she’ll rest your head on her shoulder, sit you on her lap, squeeze your shoulder in reassurance, have a hand on your thigh… sevika craves that contact. now that she has it, she has you, she can’t get enough of touching you one way or the other.
“hey, babe? i’ve got a shit ton of paperwork to fill out.” sevika would call out to you. it’s clear that she’s annoyed, so why is she calling on you? “come sit in my lap. make it more bearable.”
✧.* acts of service; sevika’s strongest love language. her name means ‘servant of god,’ after all. fiercely loyal to silco for years, and now fiercely loyal to you. she will do absolutely anything she can to make things easier, to make you happy. she’ll clean for you, zip up your clothes, braid your hair when you don’t feel like it, clasp necklaces, run grocery trips when you’re too tired to do it yourself, the whole nine yards. sevika likes to feel needed, so the second you mention needing to do something, she’s on it. you could say you had food that needed taking out of the oven, and she’d bolt to get it for you- despite the fact that you didn’t technically ask her to do anything.
✧.* gift-giving; i think that like vi, sevika wouldn’t be crazy about gift-giving and would prefer practical gifts. however, when she does give you gifts, they’re usually custom. handmade by herself or a professional in zaun. this way, sevika feels like it’s more personal, more intimate, unique to you. she at one point gifted you a custom leather bracelet with intricate engravings, and has also given you carefully crafted tote bags when she notices your own are getting worn down.
maddie;
✧.* words of affirmation; i feel like maddie would be pretty good at words of affirmation! she’s open about her feelings and her love for you. she likes to be a comforting presence for you, so words of affirmation come naturally to her. sometimes she goes a little overboard and can be a bit too forthcoming with her feelings, but it all comes from a place of love.
“i love you a lot, you know that?” maddie would ask, her lips pursing. “sometimes too much, i think. i’d keep you here to keep you out of harm’s way forever if i could.”
✧.* quality time; maddie just doesn’t have much time to spare, unfortunately. being an enforcer is time-consuming as is, but being a junior officer means hours of training, volunteering, and education. maddie can’t give you much of her time, but when she can, she makes it worth it! she’ll take you all around piltover and tell you what kinds of things she’s done in what spots, let you do (what you can with) her hair, and use her brand-new, shiny camera to take lots of photos with you. making those memories and saving them in photo form is important to maddie, seeing as she doesn’t get many opportunities to do this kind of thing. i think she’d be the type to keep a photo of you in her wallet for when she goes on dangerous missions.
✧.* physical touch; maddie loves physical touch! she’s very playful and lively, very spontaneous. she likes to keep you on your toes. giggling while snuggling you, tickling your sides, wrapping her arms around you from behind to purposely startle you. she’ll tease you, pepper kisses all over your face… maddie just finds you adorable and can’t help herself when it comes to physical affection.
“behind you! oh, sorry, did i scare you?” maddie would ask with a giggle. “aw, you’re just so cute. i can’t not hug you.”
✧.* acts of service; as an enforcer, the majority of maddie’s life is service already. she enjoys being able to help you! however, she needs to be asked to do things, as she doesn’t want to take the initiative and accidentally mess things up. as long as you actually verbalize what you need- little favors and help, maddie will gladly be of service to you. she just doesn’t want to overstep and doesn’t want to accidentally do something that does she opposite of helping you.
✧.* gift giving; maddie enjoys giving you gifts, but they’re all bought and rather small because of her time constraints. they are thoughtful, though, and with each gift comes a very sweet card! written in neat penmanship, both sides of the card covered in her adoration for you. maddie would likely give you things like jewelry, candles, sweets, blankets, and weather-appropriate clothing.
lest;
✧.* words of affirmation; lest is great when it comes to words of affirmation. half of her job is speaking to clients and putting their nerves to rest. so doing the same to her girlfriend comes naturally to lest. her voice is always so soothing, her tone soft and sweet. it’s a talent of lest’s, always knowing exactly what to say at exactly what moment.
“don’t forget that i love you,” she’d purr, her lips close to your ear and soft eyes slipping shut. “i miss you each day i’m away from you, only hope to be with you sooner each passing second. i treasure moments like this, where you’re right here.”
✧.* quality time; lest unfortunately doesn’t have much time to spare, but her schedule is more flexible than someone like mel’s or maddie’s. if she really wants the time off, she can take it, and sometimes she does just that. you’d be surprised to see lest home so soon, but she’d just assure you that everything at work was taken care of, her clients and coworkers would be just fine. you were more important. much of what lest enjoys doing with you is in silence and relaxing together. she enjoys being able to curl up next to you with a book, or doing her nightly self-maintenance by your side.
“stay here with me, hm? i’m almost finished reading this… you help me focus.”
✧.* physical touch; lest loves and values physical touch with you. she prefers to be gentle and soft with you as she can take her time, truly savor and enjoy her time with you. but she’ll tell you exactly what she wants. whether she wants you to hold her, whether she wants to cradle your face and kiss you, hold your hands in hers, she’s very upfront and clear. lest adores the proximity, and she very often (literally) is purring while she’s curled up with her head in your lap. it’s endearing.
✧.* acts of service; lest’s entire job is made up of acts of service. so this does translate into your relationship. she loves taking care of you more than anything. let her detangle your hair after washing it, let her give you a warm bath, let her lay you on your lap and whisper sweet nothings to you as you’re pulled into sleep. let her adorn you with her own jewelry and paint your nails. lest enjoys being able to help you relax and unwind, especially after particularly taxing days. knowing that she can have that effect on you makes lest feel both needed, and significant.
✧.* gift giving; lest is very good at giving gifts. she knows some of the finest craftsmen in piltover, and she’s always able to give you something completely unique to you. most of the time it’s some kind of incense, fragrance, or jewelry, as is fitting for lest. scarves made by the same people who crafted hers, and earrings by some of the most experienced metal smiths. but she also is the type of person to buy everything you touch at the store simply because she saw that you were interested in it. that is if you let her, of course.
694 notes · View notes
leaawrites · 4 months ago
Text
Please Please Please (OB3)
Ollie Bearman x fem!reader
Summary: The internet can be a cruel place, especially when no one knows your boyfriend is taken, and rumors seem to be loved by the f1 community.
Warnings: allegations of cheating, cursing, crying, alcohol,
Wordcount: 1.5k
Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series
Tumblr media
“Holy shit.”
Y/n looked from the dance floor to her friend, who was sitting opposite of the table they were all gathered around in a club way too fancy for a simple night out. She was just filming a video of her other friend, Kasey, dancing with her boyfriend; liking to capture any moment of life possibly.
“What?” Y/n asked, stop recording in case something terrible has happened. You never knew who would see those videos one day.
She watched Lily, the one who spoke first, look up at her, her eyes filled with guilt. A guilt she could see was growing into pity by the second. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows together, looking at the other two around her to find answer in them, but she didn’t. It was all just a single feeling. Pity.
“What happened?” She asked again, fear and panic creeping up her spine.
Lily turned her phone around, showing her the screen in front of her. There was a photo of someone who looked like her boyfriend, dancing with another girl. Tears threatened to leave her eyes, the make up on her face scolding her for crying over something so stupid.
She didn’t even know if it was him
It could just be a friend of his he hadn’t introduced her to yet. (she couldn’t really blame him, he knew her friends barely too. They were only dating for about 3 months now and with his job as a future F1 driver, the media went crazy over him at the moment.)
He promised her, he would always be there for her.
Kasey stumbled over to the table, clutching her boyfriends hand and giggling. The alcohol in her blood rushing her heartbeat to a new high. She bent down, leaving a kiss on Y/n’s cheek, who was still sitting as if she was paralyzed.
Sinking down on the chair next top her, she said, “I saw you filming. Thank you for being the best friend anyone could wish for. Ollie’s really lucky to have you.” Her voice still boomed over the others, but the music was a bit quieter than on the dance floor. They all heard her, loud and clear.
Y/n started picking at her nails at the mention of his name, the phone still in her hands. Looking down on it, she felt a tear slip past her eye and down on the screen. His profile facing her, not looking at her. He was looking at her. The girl he was so close with. It couldn’t be him. It couldn’t. He would never do something like this, right? He would never hurt her like this. This wasn’t him. It couldn’t be.
“What’s wrong, love?” Kasey asked, sensing the strange behavior of her friend. Y/n’s body collapsed into her arms, tears streaming down her face. She put the phone on the table, clear for everyone to see.
Please, please, please, don’t let it be him.
“That motherfucker,” Kasey cursed him, watching the screen, sobering up rather quickly now that the anger flooded her veins instead. “Who does he think he is? A red bull driver? No, he’s with Haas.”
Lily took her phone back, dialing his number, ready to call in case Y/n wanted to. Kasey rubbed the girl’s arm in comfort, looking at her boyfriend to tell him to get the car ready outside the club. She wanted to go home, so much was clear.
“It’s probably just his British nicety shining through,” Lily tried to make him seem innocent. She knew how shitty it was, but she also knew that the internet lied about most things. Y/n didn’t know the truth, she shouldn’t be too quick to assume anything.
The group was hesitant about Ollie from the beginning, wanting to protect Y/n from future heartbreak or problems like these. The internet and how people felt bigger through it. Putting their opinion higher than anyone else’s, because there no one truly knew them. They knew she would get hate for dating him, they knew he had the ability to make her feel like the most worthless person to ever exist. But she loved him and so they watched the tale unfold with suspicion.
“You wanna go home?” Kasey cooed, making the girl nod and wipe her eyes.
With her head low, she walked as quick as she could, avoiding the crowd like she was a fallen soldier. Holding back the evidence of failing in fear of seeming weak.
Ollie made sure they were staying between them, not showing her off to the public and seemingly being single to the fans, just in case they would ruin what they had. As it seems, he could do it all by himself.
" I need to talk to him,” she mumbled as the stumbled out of the club, holding on to Lily’s hand in fear of tripping in her state. The girl only handed her her phone, the number already ready.
Excusing herself to a more secluded place, Y/n walked over to the other side of the small parking lot beneath a street light so that they could still see her. Kasey explained to her boyfriend what she was doing.
Y/n took a deep breath before exhaling and waiting for a second until her voice seemed stable enough to talk to him. It rang three times before he finally picked up. The music in the background fading as he answered and walked further away to hear her more clearly.
“Lily?” he asked.
Right, she thought, it wasn’t her phone.
“Is everything alright? Is Y/n okay?” he continued asking, sounding slightly panicked.
“I’m fine,” the girl answered.
“Y/n?” Ollie asked, surprised to hear his girlfriend’s voice on the other side of the line. “What is going on? Do you need my help? Did your phone die again?”
“No, uhm, I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” she said, her voice wavering and eventually breaking.
“Hold up, let me get out of here so I can listen to you properly.” Y/n waited, legs trembling, while the music was completely gone after a door closed on Ollie’s side. “What is it? Did you cry? You sound like it. Did you hurt yourself or anything?”
“If you don’t want me, you should say it before I fall even more for you, you know?” She said, tears falling again.
“What?” Ollie was shocked. She imagined his eyebrows creasing together, his eyes filling with panic, his heartbeat picking up. She wanted him to hurt when she did too. It were his own actions in the end after all. “I don’t understand what you mean? Not wanting you? How could you even say something like that? Of course I want you.”
“Do you also want her?” It was now or never, and if she had to get the truth out of him, she might as well make it quick.
“What? Who?” he asked again. Confused. Trying to wrap his head around where she got the feeling from that they weren’t serious.
“The girl in the photos from tonight?” she continued talking. “I saw them, OK? You don’t have to lie anymore. Please, Ollie, please tell me the truth. Please.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said honestly.
“Lily showed me photos of you in the club tonight with a girl. You seemed cozy. Close.” She bit her lip from crying even more. Now that the words left her mouth, they felt more real too. More threatening.
“What did she look like? What did I look like?” He had to make sure she trusted him and that was by showing her that whatever she saw, wasn’t real.
“You looked normal?” she said, confused as to what he wanted the answers for. “White shirt, brown hair. I don’t know, Ollie, I don’t know what she looked like, I couldn’t look at her.” She started sobbing again, hand over her mouth to stifle the pathetic sounds coming from her. “I just couldn’t have it be real. I couldn’t.”
“It’s not,” he said, assuring her. His heart broke at the mere thought of hurting her. Hiding her was his way of protecting her, but maybe it wasn’t the best way to do it. Maybe that only made it worse. “What you saw, it was not real. I know what you’re talking about, I know about the pictures. Arthur showed them to me a few seconds before you called. I wanted to call you, I really did. You were just the first one to do so.”
“It wasn’t you?” she asked to make sure. A burden falling from her heart at the relief of not losing him like this.
“It’s not me,” he said. After a moment of silence he added, “I’ll pick you up, okay? We’ll get home and talk about everything, alright?”
“Yes.” she nodded even though he couldn’t see her. Smiling at the knowing of the truth. “I love you, Ollie.”
“I love you too.”
488 notes · View notes
kittyscupcakeandbunny · 1 year ago
Text
CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI
[HYBRID AU]
18 +
PART 6
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Take Me Home
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Hybrid Bunny, Hoseok/Assistant medical.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, medical experiments, medical procedures and curse words, suicide attempt (not detailed only mentioned).
Word count: 12k
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.
SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
< previously Final >
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. .
Hybrids lived between us in our human society for a decade already, it was nothing new our society’s view of them had changed dramatically over this years. It wasn't something that stared out positively, at first many people thought the hybrids were some kind of alien and not so surprisingly feared them to the core. it was more of a understanding that was needed in order for us to change our view of the unknown. I was one of the few people who decided to fallow this path, i knew it wouldn't be easy but i had Jin beside me and he played a big part into the reason i became a doctor of special beings. I loved every part of my job as a doctor at the clinic. For years nothing has ever shocked me ever since i began my own work here, having spent almost my whole life working with Jin we grew up together here. No one could understand me better than him.
Shocked? That was an understatement.
To say the least i could nearly put any thought into sense. My mind seemed to still be under process after he spilled the most outrageous thing he could to me, i could feel my entire body run cold under his stare. I was hoping this was some kind of joke of his, the moment couldn't be more perfect for it - right? - but the more i searched in his eyes the more worried i became, there was no shade of entertainment on his features and it hit me like a brick in the head, he was completely serious about this.
Mouth opening and closing repeatedly as no words came out of my lips.
What was there to say?
He just claimed that the impossible had happened.
As much as i would like to believe in him, the situation just didn't make any sense. Many studies had shown how hybrids couldn't impregnate a human, one would think that as hybrids that would be a false affirmation since they were "half humans" but although they had human DNA their bodies the cell's structure that differed them to us were well… completely ‘different’, with both DNAs in their genes their animal genes "treated" the human genes almost like 'pollution' once in contact with another's "pure" human genes. Once a hybrids human DNA is a genetic modification of our DNA, for a hybrid and say a "pure" human to be able to conceive another being it was like mixing oil and water, they simply don’t mix together. I remember being disgusted at one class in medical university were that topic was first brought to me - the thought of humans searching for such possibility mean some people wanted to have such relations with the hybrids and all i could think about was the negative side of that - it was said that many exams and tests were done with hybrids to make sure they could be increased in number but after many years of research the hybrids simply didn't responded to any tests with humans, we simply didn't catch their radar to say the least.
The informations about the very first hybrid was also something no one knew about it, we just knew they are here now and have been for years already.
I had my conclusion in that moment that Jin was completely out of his mind and probably lying about this.
I could feel Jin's hands slowly began to let go of my shoulders sliding them down, he looked down before taking a step back.
- what? - I breathless said, almost not recognizing my own voice.
- I know is crazy but... - he nervously said, running his hand through his hair.
- Crazy? Jin do you have any idea what you are implying here? - i ask him completely staggered.
- I know but.... - he sighted - i found records for old experiments done...
- Jin why didn't you told me before? Why would you wait so long and just spill everything over me now out of all time? - i could feel myself getting heated, none of this was making sense and things had just gotten more complicated now.
- I'm sorry y/n.... I heard what you and Yoongi were talking about and... - his words brought heat to my face, embarrassed I looked anywhere but him - to be honest I've been noticing how you both were acting and I knew something was up.
- Jin, shit I don't even know what to tell you.
Here i thought i was being smarter when he knew everything all along, i was beginning to wonder if anyone else had notice anything going on with me and Yoongi and that thought brought Hoseok into my mind. I knew he’s been very skeptical about Yoongi and it made me question if it could’ve been because he knew about us.
- Is okay, y/n… i know what kind of person you are and i trust you wouldn’t do anything that could compromise the hybrids safety - he replied softly - I'm happy Yoongi has you by his side actually.
- Why would you be okay, though? I just broke the protocols, i.. i don’t know what I'm supposed to do to be honest Jin - i finally tell him.
- i can let this slide this time specially since i don’t have any right to judge you, when my father went against the rules I couldn't do anything to stop him before and I didn't even knew Yoongi was my... - he sighted - I didn't even knew I had a brother.
I looked up to meet his eyes feeling as the weight of the world went down over my shoulders, we both have been through so much in this past week and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Jin must’ve been through all by himself. Finding out you have a brother who’s not even human and how your own father went overboard bad towards him for years torturing him, i can’t imagine which was worst to him and as his friend i couldn’t help but feel somewhat bad for not knowing to support him.
- Oh Jin, - i reached to hold his hand, holding it tightly before continuing - I understand you and i know you must feel like shit now but you should've told me that, you know you can always talk to me.
- I was planning on it and it definitely wasn't going to be like this but, you guys were getting intimate there and Namjoon just texted me saying he's coming to help with Yoongi - he explained softly - I thought you wouldn't want to have him find out like that.
Once he was done explaining i was the one feeling completely dumb, of course Namjoon would be coming soon. I should've thought about it before making any more decisions that could affect both Yoongi and me, my emotions got the best of me in the heat of the moment. I was once again blaming myself for being well… human, in some way i felt so weak when it came to Yoongi it was so unfair honestly how such a being like him ended up having so much power over me. I had tried so hard ever since i first meet him, it was unethical to let such feelings as “love” rise for a hybrid in a place where i was supposed to care for him, professionally.
But the heart wants what it wants, the most irrational and innocent thing a human can do is “love” and to love and be loved are things some can only experience once in a life time, some get to love and some get to be loved. To have both is a treasure.
It felt crazy to me but i no longer wanted to hide my feelings for i had no bad intentions, so unfair how my heart choose Yoongi to love.
Now this entire situation with Jin and Yoongi, I couldn't figure out what i was supposed to do.
- God this is crazy - I leaned on the wall, a long sight leaving me lips.
Nothing was making any sense anymore, I couldn't believe anything Jin was saying and i just couldn't find the background for it to make any sense in my mind. Amidst that i found the courage to ask the thing that was almost burning my head in confusion.
- how are you two... related?
Jin gave me a knowing look before taking his place beside me on the wall, after a long breath he looked up at the ceiling before talking.
- My mom once fell in love with a hybrid too.
His mom?
Jin never talked about her, i only knew what everyone else knew at the clinic. That she had left a long time ago when he was very young so he grew up with his dad, having no contact what so ever with his mom afterwards.
- Oh. I thought you didn't knew her very well, you said she left when you were younger right? - i asked.
- Yeah, but recently I've been doing some research on Yoongis case since i needed to collect proof that my dad was taking advantage of his powers at the clinic and to finally take my father away from the clinic - a sight left his lips.
I was surprised to hear that he would be taking legal action against his father, no matter what he did he was still his dad after all. I couldn't say i wasn't happy about it thought, if we keep letting things like this slip out it will only grow bigger and end in the most unfortunate ways.
- Jin... - i looked at him from my side, this whole time he seemed to be doing fine but now that i took a good look over his features, i could see the tiredness at the lines of his face the eye bags begging to form.
- I know but this has to be done, he needs to pay for what he did to my brother.
- Well I can't argue with that - i looked at the wall in front of me, the emptiness of it and no traces of color did nothing to help my overthinking - is that why you've been trying to help Yoongi this whole time?
- Yeah... I was searching for old documents since everything started years ago we had no updated data of treatment or what so ever of him and I found ... my mother's diary - he paused for a moment before a small smile filled his face turning to look at me - her story reminded me of you two. She meet a black mamba hybrid who was brought here for recovery and he hated everything and everyone too... except her.
- Well that does ring a bell or two… - I shyly looked away for a moment. Thinking of Yoongi and it seemed the grumpiness runs in the family.
- I'm sure you must be wondering how this was even possible - he said, i nodded at him finally the one million question - trust me i too have no idea.
- What? But how do you know he truly is your brother?
- I have the documents of her pregnancy with him, all the exams she took at that time… everything leads to him - he said, a dark cloud surrounding his soft features this time - she was part of the research about hybrids and humans being able to reproduce and... she succeeded, with no one knowing.
Once again i was punched with shock right in the gut, completely dumbfounded. For years I studied the same theory at university and years complimented by my colleagues how assertive my assignments on the impossibility of humans and hybrids reproducing for today, i be proven wrong.
- I couldn't find anything on the research though, it seems everything about how she was able to have Yoongi disappeared - Jin continued, i could already feel the engines on my head burst open as i took in every words coming from his mouth - i found some of my fathers old records it says that after some time she couldn't bear the child anymore and had some problems with the pregnancy and due to that she had to give birth to him too soon.
- I see, so regardless of the impossible being possible she did end up having complications to bear a hybrid - i said, the engines in my head no longer bursted open but begin to work out.
- Yes, he had to be put in a incubator - as he said that he furrowed his eyebrows a clouded expression on his tired features - I remember when i was younger she came home sick and for months she didn’t even left her bed, in that time she never told me anything but it seemed my father only found out about my brother when she was rushed to the emergency that time. When she couldn't hide anymore.
- So she was doing this and no one knew about it? - i asked shocked - it makes no sense, how could hide such thing?
- It wasn’t for long actually, a normal pregnancy would take almost a year but, she mentioned in her diary how it seemed to be moving faster then a normal human pregnancy i’m certain it was due to the hybrids advanced genes and after three months the complications begin to grow and she couldn't hide anything anymore.
Complications would be bound to happen, from years of research on that matter nothing was positive from the begging of a hybrid pregnancy and many complications were reported after the tests. We were not made to carry a hybrid being, our human bodies can only afford to give much and a hybrid requires more then a human body can offer. It goes beyond anything we know.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter how many tests and research we do, we still know very little about them.
- What happened to Yoongis father?
- He was... put down after my father found out. It truly was a miracle that mom got Yoongi and it doesn't make any sense but I have a few theories - he said, making me smile at him. That was the Jin i knew, always having a few cards under his sleeve - I have to do some research to be sure thought.
- I see.... Oh my god Jin, how have you been going through all of this alone?
- I don't know I was just hopeful. I have a brother who doesn't seem to like me much but is okay - he just brushed it off.
- That’s not true, Jin I'm sure he likes you deep down he's just .... - i paused, mind finally putting thoughts of the snake hybrid together - he feels a bit threatened, i think it might be because of me.
- Oh, that's why? I understand he must feel that way specifically since you're human and not a hybrid like him, he must duel between his feelings and instincts as you’re different then him.
I nerves once thought about it like that, I had been so caught up on my own thoughts and emotions I didn’t even thought for a moment how that situation could be affecting Yoongi. Of course things wouldn’t be exactly easy for him, he had a completely different perspective of our relationship then i did. But all I did was judge based on his hybrid personality i didn’t think for a moment he would be so considerate of me for I’m just human.
- is unusual for it to happen like that? - Jin muttered, pausing for a second as if noticing what he said - for like both sides?
- I know, we are away from being normal - i gave him a slight nudge on his side, trying to ease the tension.
- I just wanted you to know that it had happen before - he confessed.
- What exactly?
- Hybrids and humans - he said - Yoongi is proof that is okay if hybrids and humans love each other. After all they deserve it too right?
- I'm just... I don't know Jin, I've been told my whole life it wasn't normal it feels weird now but, I...i love him.
- I'm glad you feel this way about him, he never got the chance to meet mom so I'm truly happy you are the one taking care of him.
- yeah, they do.
His words brought a comfort to my heart i knew i was needing, I’ve been feeling so guilty over my feelings for Yoongi even now that i knew he felt the same way about me. Everything felt so different, like something so far away from reality it certainly does not feel like a normal day and I was sure it wouldn’t even from years from now.
Especially when you spend half your life learning about this beings and grow a career to help them, everything seemed impossible at first that a possibility was never once considered, but now even as i was in the eye of the hurricane i still couldn't believe that it was happening.
- Also, Namjoon will be here soon so you should go back in and calm Yoongi - Jin said, leaning away from the wall to stand in front of me watching me with a apologetic face - I'm afraid you guys can't go farther than a few kisses for a while.
- Shit Jin! - i exclaimed, cheeks burning in heat as i hit him in the shoulder many times - How much did you heard!?
- Don't worry. You perverted girl, he is my brother I couldn't watch that - he made a disgusted face - you should be thanking me, I was the one who turned everything off before anyone else could see it.
- Yah... oh god this is so weird now - i held my temples, trying to calm myself from more embarrassment as he just stood there laughing - but I'll go check on him.
- Maybe we should give him suppressants for a while.... - Jin contemplated.
- Yeah....
- We should talk about this later in particular - he mentioned.
- Yes, also shouldn’t we tell Namjoon? - asked him, just now i realized how Namjoon has literally been out of everything this whole time from the beginning and made me feel bad about it.
- I guess so since... I've some things in mind, it will be weird if he only finds out later - he continues.
- Yeah, wait what things? - i asked.
- I'll explain to you when we get to talk alone later.
- Oh god there's more.... - I mumble - Don't leave me out again thought!
- I won’t.
- Will you come in with me? - I sighted, looking over Yoongis door room - since... brothers?
- Oh no, for the sake of my eyes i won’t - he said lifting up his hands in defeat.
- Ya! I wasn’t- you little... - I immediately stoped as he only chuckled over my embarrassment - wait here and don’t let Namjoon enter before i make sure Yoongi is.. you know what.
- Wouldn't interrupt the love birds, you don’t have to worry.
At that i gave him once last slap on the head before turning on my heel back to Yoongis room.
I had to take a few breathes before entering the room, i had no idea how i would go from now. Things were not what they used to, i still had to process all about the new information Jin just dumped over me - Yoongi being Jin's brother. That didn't change my feelings for him though, but it brought some clarity to my thoughts and it made me realize that Jin was just trying to be there for Yoongi and despite all he still considered him his family.
I desperately wanted him to know everything but it didnt felt like it was my place to let him know Jin was his brother, that he has a family. The more I questioned that the more convinced I was that now wouldn’t be the best time to tell him, especially with everything that happened between Yoongi and his father. For now i would let that slide so Jin can be the one to tell him the truth, my only concern in that moment was how am i supposed to tell Yoongi the grumpy snake hybrid we cannot mate?
With a long sigh i entered the room, the door never felt heavier then now and i didn't know if it was all in my head but his room didn't felt as warm as usual.
- why did it took you so long...? - his voice was low and groggy sounding drunk almost.
I had to swallow hard, my body immediately responded to his presence feeling the heat embrace ever centimeter of skin under my clothes, heart racing the closer I got to him as my eyes took in his figured lying lazily over the mess of covers. It clearly did not look like that before and I felt the realization hit me in a big wave of heat. Oh, damn he was making that nest again.
- sorry, i didn't mean to... - i said, carefully approaching the hybrid.
- Hum... - he slowly sit straight at the edge of the bed, chest exposed by his opened shirt his face was slightly red, lips swollen and he looked me up with lazy eyes.
Something about his heat made him look so dreamy it was hard to concentrate on anything else when he looked like that, I tried my best to stay focused on the matter at hands which was to make him take the suppressants and cut off the mating process quickly and efficiently but, i find out that would be more difficult now that i have him in front of me then a few seconds ago before entering the room.
I continued to swallow hard, heart rate gone loose like a mad horse on an empty field. He looked so heavenly now I wanted to eat him whole, my eyes couldn't stop running to every corner of his exposed skin and his beautiful scales. The small coat of sweat over him made his skin shine even more, it was unreal how enchanting he looked. How unfair.
i didn’t know how much time i had until Namjoon got here so i kept a good distance between me and him. I'm afraid if i took another step he won't make it any easier to me - not that I would mind and that was exactly why I needed that space.
Another hard swallow from me the second he turned his head slightly to the side, eyes staring at me curiously up and down. A frown formed on his face when he realized i wasn't moving any closer, by now i was sure he knew something was going on.
- if you have something to tell me... - he began, eyes staring down at the floor between sounding almost desperate as he looked up in my eyes - come closer and do it, I can't stand you being this far away from me.
I could feel my breath burning inside my chest at his words, the second his eyes moved back to mine i was already making my way towards him. That was honestly all it took from him to have me completely at his mercy, I felt deep in myself how much I couldn’t also stay away from him. Sitting beside him carefully, I felt my body heat up even more wanting so bad to just let myself go and let his arms embrace me into his body, i nervously looked at his hands on his lap biting hard on my bottom lip as if that would bring any relief to my nervous self.
- what is it? Do you… not love me anymore? - he said, almost running out of breath on his words.
I instantly moved closer to him, taking his hands into mine.
- how could you say that…. - i assure him, breathlessly as he stole my words - I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have feelings for you, Yoongi.
- Then what is it? - he asked, face slowly softening as I called his name.
- Things have gotten a bit complicated... - i tell him, he turned completely to face me worried growing on his soft features.
- Why? That Jin director won't let you be with me? - anger showed clear over his soft features, chest moving up and down faster as he spat the words showing his clear discomfort by the other male.
If i didn’t knew they were brothers i would have view this situation differently but, now that i know everything i couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction which gain me a confused look from the snake hybrid.
- Actually... he doesn't mind at all - i tell him, seeing as how his face changed so fast at my words he looked even more confused now and it made me chuckled again.
- He doesn't? - he mumbles, blinking confused.
- Jin just wanted to let me know that...
- I don’t care what he said.
He didnt let me finished, interrupting me mid sentence. Hands holding my wrists he moved so fast i bearly had any chance to properly process what he was doing until it was too late, my hands were held above my head and he pined me down on the bed straddling my waist.
I could feel his fast breathing over my lips and just like before his skin burned over mine, i immediately felt my body gave in his touch knowingly and in complete defeat - i knew I shouldn't have gotten closer to him.
Namjoon could get here anytime now and stoping a hybrid in heat wasn't easy especially when you were caged under him and every cell in your body longes for his touch, so painfully desperate for him.
- wait... Yoongi? - i tried to call out for him but no effect at all.
I know trying to stop him would be harder even more as my will to stop him was also compromised, as he looked down at me with so much desire and wet lips brushing so closely over mine.
- I need you... - he mumbled, leaning down on my neck.
No. Not the neck.
But he knew already all my weak spot’s which made it all worse and so good at the same time, I immediately felt my body shake underneath his at the feeling of his warm wet tongue over the skin of my neck.
He groaned in pleasure holding my wrists tighter, it was getting more and more difficult to resist.
- Wait please, yoongi - i call out again, this time he stopped his movements looking back into my eyes.
- What? Did i made you uncomfortable? - he said, apologetic.
- No it's just... Namjoon is coming and he'll be here anytime soon - i explained - we can't do this now.
- I understand... but this is not something i can control y/n, you should've thought about this before coming here and bitting me - he said, letting go of my wrists.
- I know, i know... - I carefully held his face caressing his cheek with my thumbs - I'm sorry... i don't meant to hurt your feelings, i want this just as much as you do but...
- The others don't understand... - he whispers.
- They don’t.
- What do we do now.... - he murmured over my lips - how are you gonna take responsibility for doing this to me?
If it wasnt for the smirk on his lips and the playfulness in his voice, I would think he was serious in that moment but i knew it was the opposite and as much as i wanted to comply to his wishes we couldn't do nothing for now.
Not knowing if we would ever get that chance, I simply pushed my lips over his kissing him desperately as if his lips were water and I've been locked away without a single drop of it. My thirst for him was eternal.
- make sure i pay you back - i tell him, chest rising up and down against each other.
- I will.... - he promised.
He got up from above me holding a hand out for me to get up, once i did he closed his other arm around me waist. Making me look up into his eyes, he stared into mine nervously almost as if he had been caught on a lie.
I just giggled at his reaction.
- please don't tell me you'll make me suffer more by going on heat alone - he pleaded.
- What if i do? - i playfully teased, earning a serious look from him as i made my way towards the small cabinet with medical supplies.
I wouldn’t let him go through it knowing how painful it could be, for now he would be under a small dose of suppressants until we know what to do.
- if you do... - he said fallowing behind me - I'll take you now....
For the second time he had spin me around completely taken me by surprise, holding my body tightly against his. I couldn't tell before but now it seemed his heat was getting more intense as if he wasn’t before, his usual dark eyes had a more yellow color around it, his cheeks were red and his fangs were more noticeable this time.
I could tell he was getting on the edge of losing from his finger tips tightening on my waist painfully, it could be really difficult if it gets too intense.
- no matter who enters this room... - he whispered over my lips - I'll make you mine.
- I won't do anything to hurt you - I whisper back, it seemed to be enough to wake him up from the trance.
He smiled softly eyes closing slowly and opening, he was breathing through his mouth a few drops of sweat sliding down the sides off his head to his neck. Yoongi has been holding his heat for days now, i couldn’t even imagine how uncomfortable this must feel for him and it made me feel bad for starting this but the situation calls for a pause now.
Feeling his fingers slowly lessen the grip on my waist letting go of me, I turned around to get him the suppressants quickly preparing a small dose of suppressant on a syringe before turning back to him.
- this will work faster so you don’t have to suffer tonight - i explain.
- Ok... - he took off his shirt completely before I even ask, for a moment I thought he was only being helpful but the sly smirk on his lips told me otherwise
He was doing it on purpose to provoke me, knowing very well how on the edge I was.
- And you were afraid of me teasing - I mumbled, he chuckled as i inserted the needle into his arm.
- Is good to know you're affected by me - he said, I quickly disposed of the syringe before turning back to him.
- How could i not? You...
Before i can finish the door is burst opened by a nervous Namjoon and a confused Jin fallowing right behind him.
- y/n are you okay? - Namjoon rushed to me - sorry i left so quickly.
I looked over to Jin who gave me a small smile then at Namjoon who shares his stare between me and the hybrid.
- she's fine.. i didn't eat her - he said to the male, double sense dripping from his lips through his smirk as he began to dress into his shirt.
My cheeks immediately went hot a low chuckle coming from Jin which he quickly tried to cover up by looking away, the situation was somewhat different now heaving the brothers in the same room sharing the same joke.
It made me feel at ease.
- I'm fine, Yoongi is on suppressant so he didn't do anything - i tell Namjoon, earning another chuckle from Jin.
- Ok that's good, Jin told me the mating process was canceled - Namjoon said.
- Yeah, we figured is better since is what the hybrids feel more comfortable with - i tell him - don't worry Joon we’ll fill you with all the details later, right Jin?
- What? Oh, yeah, oh yes later - jin said nervously.
I only stared at him shaking my head side to side.
[…]
It felt like i was living a movie ever since i meet the snake hybrid, how could i imagine all the events that would be fallowing the moment i decided to get myself between Yoongi and the clinic. I couldn't believe everything even after we left Yoongis room so he could rest, he needed to adapt to the suppressant before we moved him back to his room so as soon as we made sure everything was fine we left to carry on our different activities. Not only he needed to adapt but i knew this would take some time before i can begin to process it, now more then every we needed to be aware of the decisions we make in this process. It did not only involve Yoongis safety but the entire clinic.
At the same time i wanted for Jin to make his father pay for his mistakes, i fear he would try to do something and make things more complicated.
Whatever may happen i was sure to be there for Jin, we still needed to sort everything out as soon as possible.
Namjoon was the most confused between us all, after all Jin had the most impact on him right after we left Yoongis room he turned to Namjoon with the more serious expression on his face as if he was on a mission.
- we have import things to discuss later.- he said with a hand on his shoulder, and the most dramatic look on his features.
- Alright...? - Namjoon was so puzzled he could bearly say anything after he left. - is everything okay with him?
- He's good… see ya?
- see ya.
I knew things were set for drama later on, but now i could tell a weight seemed to heave left Jin's shoulder - mine too now that i was sure he wasn’t bother by my feelings for Yoongi, especially since they are brothers. I was happy he was the one to know about us first, we seemed to share the same thoughts and stand together on the same page when it came to Yoongi. Jin being his only family now i was happy for him, Yoongi wasn’t alone anymore.
Things were bound to happen and secrets can't stay hidden forever, but we had each other and we have the same goal in mind.
Save Yoongi.
Not knowing my day would star with such events in the morning, i didn’t assigned much appointments for today since i would be focusing on Yoongis treatments and his mating process but now that it was all canceled the plans had changed and my schedule was more clear today, i had to make sure a day before today for any case Yoongi may need my assistance but since he was on suppressants from now i would only have to go with his normal appointments now. I found myself completely bored a few hours later after checking on my patients.
After noon i was going back to check on Yoongi when i felt my phone vibrating on my pocket assuming to be Jin and chuckling since i was right ''meeting. My office.'' It read and i could almost picture his teasing smile on his face while sending this.
Truth is ever since the situation with Yoongi was set to our care we have been so stressed and on the edge with it all, one after the other, all the worst cases possible were just being dumped on us and i knew it wasn’t going to be any easy from that point, now that Jin has opened up about his father i knew why he was so distant this whole time and so eager to get things done.
Just like me he too was going through a hard time but now that we finally talked about everything all that worry and fear seemed to be gone, i could feel how much lighter his humor seemed to be and i too felt more comfortable despite my worries for Yoongi.
I was making my way to the elevator to meet up with him when the the alarm went off and all the halls were lighted by the red color and my whole body immediately moved in alert. This was a red coded situation and different from the tiger hybrid accident last week, this one was emergency alert. Not thinking twice as i rushed through the corridors hearing the voice on the speakers requested assistance on the main entrance of the clinic - was there a hybrid making an escape? Not just any hybrid but a red code one?
Today gotta be my lucky day, right after lunch someone tried to escape? The situation couldn’t call for a better moment and i worried for all the other hybrids safety and the timing couldn’t be more perfect as it just so happened to be when the hybrids were coming back from the canteen.
Once I finally got there i was ready to assist with anything but, i found myself watching a scene that for my disappointment was exactly what i was praying wouldn’t happen.
A few doctors circle around the main entrance not moving clearly unsure of what to do as the coded red hybrid held one of our patients by the neck, rushing through the people around i stood in front of the scene feeling a breath close on my throat at the sight of the bunny hybrid i was treating being held by the neck on his knees.
For a moment I thought that this couldn’t be a hybrid who stood there holding Jungkook, i was skeptical as he didn’t show any characteristic of an animal until he looked up in my direction looking straight into my eyes. He didn’t have human eyes, they were bright orange his pupils closed on a thin line sharp enough to bring a chill to my spine. The light shined better over his face making known the golden color of what i knew very well were scales, he was a snake hybrid.
The painful groan from jungkook on the floor immediately woke up the rage inside me, if he wanted to hurt me it was fine but to go after one of my patients it was something else and before i could even think for a second I was already walking towards them, ignoring the few rushed warnings of the people around me.
Making my way towards the snake hybrid i never felt so angry before, being with Yoongi certainly raised my confidence with his kind.
Once i was one step away from the hybrid, looking straight into his sharp snake eyes he smirked at me. Tilting his head to the side as he licked his bottom lip, analyzing my face.
- let go of him - I demanded, anger spitting the words from my lips.
- I don’t want to...
This time i closed the distance.
- you don’t have a say in this, i can wait all day if i must - I demanded again, never even blinking away from his eyes - now be a good boy and let go of my patient.
This time his smile faded completely from his face into a bitter look and he slowly let go of jungkook, who almost fell on the floor over his face. I carefully lowered myself to help jungkook up holding his hands, his neck was red from the tight grip of the snake hybrid and he had tears on his eyes.
- are you okay? - i asked him. He nodded only and I quickly rushing him towards one of the doctors standing there.
- You're not like them... - the hybrid in front of me mumbles, making me turn back to him watching as his orange eyes looked me up and down before stoping over my neck.
I nervously swallowed, i know hybrids have much higher senses and from the look on his snake eyes i was sure by now he too knew about Yoongis bite on my skin still covered by a badge. Heat fallow up my face, knowing from experience he could probably smell Yoongis scent all over me and i prayed he wouldn’t say anything about it in front of every one.
- i don’t know what you mean by that - i tell him, trying my best to sound stern - now will you come with me to your room so i can get you treated or... do you want to go sedated?
He chuckled.
- lead the way doctor - he said, teasingly.
At his words the people around us seemed to have calmed down and soon one of the doctors came to my side with the hybrids documents and a collar to put on him, he looked at me worriedly but i only smiled trying to easy out the tension brought by the snake hybrid, i made sure to take the collar from him and quickly turned back to put on the hybrid.
Anger no longer seemed to be running on my system and i felt nervous once again, but i tried my best to keep my composure while closing the collar around his neck.
Closer now to him i could tell that different from Yoongi, this hybrids scales went higher up his neck stoping right under his ear, his blonde hair was bright almost white and i could pick a citrus scent on him.
I was curious to know what kind of snake hybrid he was.
- i can smell this is not your first time doctor - the snake hybrid insinuates, careful with his choice of words.
- It is not, fortunately for you I'm the one they call when hybrids like you don't have manners - i reply, which makes him smirk even more.
- Lucky me - he mumble, eyes looking up and down at me as he licked his bottom lip showing his sharp fangs.
I didn’t needed to question that he was sure a poisonous snake hybrid, I fear that differently then Yoongis bite his would actually be deadly.
Lucky me.
We didn't know if he would behave until he is all set on his room so me and another doctor were quickly to bring him there, we had to make sure to do this fast to ensure the other hybrids safety. I was glad he didn’t try make another scene but i still held my guard up, walking behind the hybrid as the other doctor took the front guiding us to his room.
Once in his room he was quick to walk up to the bed at the center of the room, sitting on the edge of it i fallowed behind o take the collar from him.
Stoping in front of him as the doctor responsible for him prepared his medication, i focused on carefully tacking the silver collar from his neck. His scales were much different then Yoongis, his had a more yellow and golden sparkle to it which made it look like he was covered in gold in contrast with his almost white hair.
With the collar off his neck he quickly held my wrist stoping me from moving away, he looked up at me, pupils fuller this time, only a small bit of orange around his full pupil told me he was calmer now, he brought my wrist up to his nose closing his eyes as he smelled.
- i smell another hybrids scent on you... - he whispered amused, the smirk never leaving his lips as he watched me - i never seen a human mate with us before..
I took my wrist from his hold harshly, feeling the heat creeping back to my face. Turning on my heel i walked back to assist the doctor, listening the snake hybrid chuckling behind me.
- what do we have? - i asked the doctor, trying to brush the emotions off my nerves.
- he is a piton snake hybrid, red coded but not by poisonous…. - he said.
- i can tell… - I murmured taking the documents from him as he prepared a sedative for the hybrid.
Usually the code red is attributed to a hybrid for one of two reasons, he is a predator which does demand a different approach before we can proceed with any further treatment or he has a history of misbehavior mostly being attempted escape or attempt to harm others, usually they only attempt in harmful behaviors.
I wasn’t surprised to find in his file that hes been assigned to our clinic for treatment after trying to kill one of the doctors on his past clinic, the list goes on and i wasn’t sure what to do.
Name: jp01301095 Male Species: Snake/Piton
Code: Red. (Destructive behaviors)
Date of admission: 13062016
Current status: to be treated for aggressive behavior and attempt to suicide.
Resume: Patient jp01301095 has shown no sign of improvement on past treatments, has been unable to socialize with his kind and the doctors responsible for his treatment. Patient didn’t show any symptoms of recovery, due to his destructive behaviors against others he is required to be isolated from anyone and to be excluded from mating process.
This would be one hell of a patient to treat, the more i read his file the more i became concerned about him. All i could think about was the words “attempt to suicide” on his file, how they never bothered to give him an actual name all made me question if the clinic he was before even cared to treat him correctly, he was the first patient i have heard off that actually tried to harm himself. No matter how many pages of his aggressive behavior towards others i read nothing was making me see him as a threat, I was afraid that just like Yoongi he too was only acting out of fear, looking up at his figure he stared at me smirking i wondered if all wasn’t just a mask he decided to wear to hide what he truly felt.
On his file i notice the dates of all the incidents involving him that, his behavior worsen after his attempt to end his own life. After treating Yoongi and finding out all the mistreatments done to him in this clinic, i was sure this snake hybrid has been gone through the same if not… worse in his past.
I turned to look at him as he stared at us amused and decided on taking matters in my own hands if needed.
- you can ask anything to me... - the hybrid said getting up and walking over to where i was.
It wasn’t like i was some kind of fearless human that i somehow always managed to get in this situations, i just felt more understanding of the hybrids pain then the others and I couldn’t ignore the fact that every time i looked at him, i saw someone who needed help even though he tried to hide it and did very well. He was the victim here but others may not be able to see it as i do, turning to the doctor I smile softly at him.
- call for Namjoon - I whispered to him and he nodded quickly.
I knew he would be the only one after me who could treat this snake hybrid, Namjoon was stronger then me and i knew better then to let myself act any recklessly with this hybrid. He was letting me go now because he wanted, from his files i knew it wouldn’t take a second before he try to hurt me. I needed someone who i could trust to care for him and that was Namjoon.
Once the doctor left i walked up to the hybrid. I knew this was dangerous but i saw what Yoongi did to the other staff and i knew this couldn't go any different if i wasn’t careful.
- well, I'm y/n I'll be taking care of you before we proceed with further treatments - i tell him.
- Please do... - he said, a smirk fallowing.
I took the sedative with me. When we go through traumas our brain tend to mask it as the opposite feelings as a safe mechanism, hybrids were no different then us when it came to that. I could tell he was using a flirting tone and a smile to mask his feelings probably also to provoke a reaction from me since he knows about Yoongi from his scent on me, i questioned if he uses that as a way to get things he wants from people - was it that how he got closer to his past females doctors?
I saw first hand how he can be when acting out on rage, but the more I looked at him now if I didn’t watched before I wouldn’t even believe he was capable of such thing. Right now he looked like a complete different hybrid then the one i read on the file, he wasn’t much taller then me, had a small figure and was covered on a gray uniform from his old facility, his white hair messily covered some of his face, his skin looked so pale it made the scales on his body shine like gold.
When he wasn’t smirking the soft features on his face made him look almost angelic, he was beautiful indeed - was it common for all snake hybrids to be this beautiful?
I quickly brushed off.
- what is your name? - i ask him.
They never once bother to give him a name, clearly no one even treated him kindly before for it. It was noticeable to me they didn’t thought of him for more then an aggressive being, only seeing him for his flaws but never trying to care for his wounds.
- I’m sure you read in the file, is jp01301095…. - he said, nonchalantly.
- yeah, but I’m sure that is not how you actually call yourself - i tell him, approaching softly - I’m asking for your real name.
He looked at me suspiciously certainly i was the only one who ever bothered to ask for his name, i could see how his mask dropped for a very short second before he smirked taking another step closer.
- you can call me Jimin…. - he said, sarcasm dripping his words - did they send me here because i misbehaved?
- Why you think that? - i asked softly, I realized the calmer i sounded the more his pupils dilated - did you do something bad?
- Humm... i hurt someone - he murmured, eyes shining brighter as if remembering exactly what he did - that's why they didn't assign any females as my doctors...
His files did mentioned a few females assistants who were unfortunate on the receiving side of his anger, it made me wonder why he prays on them more then males. Was it a women who inflicted the pain on him? Or was it that he just thought of us as being easier to hurt?
- I see... well nothing I haven't seen before - i tell him. Which brought a cold chuckle from him.
- You have some courage - he walked closer to me - is it because you stink of a snake hybrid? You think hell protect you?
- I can protect myself Jimin - i tell him.
The mention of his name did got a reaction from him as i imagined, for the second time i saw the mask fall for another split second before i took the chance to grab his wrist carefully. He didn’t fight me not did he tried to hurt me from touching him, i was surprised at that not exactly expecting him to let me guide him back to his bed. He sat down watching my every move.
- you are not here to be punished, Jimin… - i decided to call him by his name.
I took the sedative the doctor prepared, all his symptoms were under a red pen marked as dangerous on his file and everything was pointing how Jimin wasn’t physically hurt but mentally. He was unstable and so on for the first appointment he must be asleep, as much as i hate it I can’t do the opposite , he could still try to hurt someone and i was set on changing that behavior of his.
- you are here to be treated and recover - i said.
Turning to him i sat beside him taking his shirt to the side to insert the needle on his shoulder. He didn’t move or said anything while i did it. It was only when i was done that he gave me another sarcastic response.
- are you this sweet with your little snake lover too? - he said, trying to provoke another reaction.
- I'm careful with all my patients - i said, the words I chose are important. Anything could trigger a reaction from him and it was a matter of one wrong choice that could change everything.
- Oh... was he the one who did that? - he pointed at my arm covered by the white badge.
- No, he would never do anything to hurt me - i tell him - maybe you should learn some manners with him.
He scoffed.
I watched closely for his reaction at the mention of him and another hybrid like him, it didn’t seem to after him too much and that is a good thing.
The door opened revealing a worried Namjoon. I walked up to him.
- you really have no will to survive - he said to me.
- Sorry, everyone was scared so i did what i do best - i tell him, handing the file to him - i just sadeted him, he is all yours.
- Wait you won’t help me out? - he asked as i turned to leave, seeing as the hybrid as already falling over the bed due to the sedative any worry I had left in me was gone.
Everything would be fine from now.
- I have enough snake problems to resolve.
[…]
Indeed i had enough problems to resolve, after the alert was out i had to head back to all my patients and make sure they were doing fine - especially Jungkook who could've had end up hurt if i didn't show up.
Me and Namjoon were not the only ones who had assignments to deal after the alert, Jin too was called to assist the others and our meeting had to be moved to another hour later.
I just found out then how Yoongi could get even more grumpy under heat suppressants and nothing seemed to ease that grumpiness of his but i was relived to be with him in that moment regardless of his shitty humor, after the deep dive on the new snake hybrid file and uncover another series of mistreatment to another being like Yoongi my own humor had gone down bad blue and gray.
After bringing Yoongi some food i was impressed at how much he behaved like an old man when he's grumpy.
- did you eat everything? - i asked him.
- Yes boss.... - he mumbled, sucking on the red lollipop i gave him in the hopes the sugar would melt a bit of his grumpy humor. It didn't.
Instead he just looked at me bored while lying lazily on the bed, the covers were all over the floor and some were even scratched in pieces.
- were you fighting with the bed? What a mess - I commented. Hearing a grunt from him, i chuckled at his reaction - if you keep behaving like that...
- What? Will you punish me doctor y/n - he said teasingly, sitting over the edge of the bed were i stood up in front of him.
- Yes i will, i won’t give you any kisses - i tell him turning away to leave.
As I expected not a second later he pulled me back by the arm, i watched as he stared up at me much softer than before. This sly snake.
- I'm sorry... - he said, slowly massaging my wrist - i’m feeling moody because of the meds.
- I know, is okay - i gave in, carefully caressing his long hair.
- You'll still give me kisses, right?
- Of course...
I leaned down pressing our lips together in a soft kiss, feeling his smile grow against my lips tasting the sweet flavor of strawberry lollipop on his tongue. He groaned moving his hands up and down my sides slightly pulling me closer but before things got any deeper I quickly leaned back. Making my leave to carry on my assignments, leaving a now less grumpy snake hybrid behind.
We still needed to discus the matters with Jin and tell Namjoon of all that's been going on the past days, I felt bad for hiding it from him for this long but things were certainly not looking good and sometimes it is better to tell the other when you have things figured out so you don't bleed on them.
Thats what i thought at least, while making my way to get in the elevators after messaging Jin about the meeting.
When he gave me his confirmations I quickly left to head to his office.
I knew things would get better for Yoongi from now on and i was hopeful that Jin would win this one against his father, from now we had agreed on keeping an eye on all the hybrids in the clinic to make sure such thing never happens again.
Once i entered Jin's office Namjoon was already there as they shared a brief conversation. I took the seat beside Namjoon in front of Jin's desk as he looked as us both.
- well was is this all about? - Namjoon asked.
- I don't really know were to start.... - Jin said, looking a bit nervous - a few days ago we were here to discuss how you both would be taking care of Yoongis case and now, I'm here to... kinda fill you in why he won’t be put down anymore.
I know that already, but hearing for the first time right now felt more reassuring. I knew yet it felt like it was finally happening, Yoongi was free.
So on Jin begin to tell Namjoon about everything we have kept from him this whole time, how his father passed the case to him to put yoongi down, the first time we treated him and how he researched the files for Yoongi finding out all about his mistreatments.
He told us about how a few days before the mating process start he found his mothers diary and the documents for Yoongis birth, passing them to Namjoon who had the same reaction as me when i found out.
The entire time Jin was he only one talking, i wasn't sure what to expect once he was done though. As much as i was feeling positive i couldn’t ignore the anxiety i was feeling in that moment, i was hoping Namjoon would understand and maybe help us too but i couldn't force him to do that not was i expecting him to accept all of this at first.
The moment Jin told him about them being brothers our relationship was fallowed right after, Namjoon didn’t looked at me in any moment, his entire attention was still on the papers on his hands but i notice how he reacted at the mentioned of me and Yoongi.
- what? - he then said, looking up at Jin.
I swallowed nervously as Jin looked at me with the same feeling.
- i mean... i don't intend to be rude - he continued - this is the first time i heard of such thing.
- so you don't mind? - i asked.
He turned to look into my eyes.
- it's nothing that bothers me, i mean hybrids should be treated fairly like us not like some kind of savages, right?  - he added - i think if that's how you feel about him, i shouldn't judge you. We are friends too.
I was grateful for his words, so far I've been beating myself up over this matter. I couldn't help but wonder if me and Yooongi could ever have a relationship, we were far from normal and completely opposites to one another. But our feelings were mutual, a spark gluing us together.
For now i knew that my friends were together with me and that was very comforting due to our situation, i still have no idea how I'll ever manage a relationship with a hybrid in the clinic. I was sure it wouldn't be possible to maintain such a secret here and even more intimacy, wasn’t exactly comforting to be intimate with Yoongi at the same place i treated others.
It seems that no matter how many obstacles we go through, things never get easy for me and Yoongi to be together in the end something always separates us.
- is that why the mating process was canceled? - Namjoon asked.
- oh, no - Jin quickly replied - i simply don't want to force Yoongi into that, he clearly doesn't seem comfortable with it.
- i see... what will we be doing now then? - Namjoon putted - with him i mean.
- I intend to set Yoongi for adoption.
- what?
I almost gagged at my own saliva at his statement.
- that's what i wanted to discuss with you - Jin stared at me - i dont't want him to stay here any longer. Yoongi has been so much already or years i think is about time he has his own home but since the protocols for hybrids require an adoption document I'll set him for applications.
- a black mamba snake hybrid... it will be difficult to find good people interested - Namjoon comments.
I knew this would come sooner or later. Some of the hybrids here at the clinic are set for adoption application after their full recover, that is green coded hybrids. I couldn't understand why Jin would want to set Yoongi for adoption especially with him being red coded. He needed special care and time for recover to all his mistreatments, not only that but he certainly needed space to be able to have his heat which we had to interrupt for a while.
- are you planning on adopting him then? - i ask.
- oh… no - he said - i don’t think he would want to come with me and part of the process is that is a mutual thing with both sides, even though we are brothers i… wouldn’t want him to feel obligated to accept me just because of that.
- I understand but if you’re setting him for someone else, don't you think is too soon for this? - i asked Jin.
- i know what you're thinking, that's why i want you to apply for his adoption - he said. I could feel my eyeballs almost sprout open at his words.
- me?!
- it makes sense... - Namjoon muttered and i stared at him stupefied - i mean, he only likes you and you like him. Why not?
- i know this might be sudden y/n given how it has been so far but, i ask you to consider this - Jin said softly, eyes locked with mine
- yes, it is very sudden - i tell him - I'll have to think about this first, this is a lot of responsibility.
- I'll be here once you decide.
It mostly is a lot of responsibility, is not only about me but Yoongis well being as well. I can't make such decisions without thinking about this through, i know that Jin trusts me with this because of the relationship i have build with Yoongi and he being his only family is trying his best to help him but i can't do something that would possibly make Yoongi uncomfortable.
It hasn't been long since we've been together, living with one another is much different, sharing the same house together would be something he's never experienced too. I wasn't sure i would be able to meet his needs with my small apartment, certainly being a doctor at the clinic would help a lot with any medical needs he may have but what else would i be able to offer him?
Truth is I'd give him the world if i could but, i can't.
- well count me in to help guys - Namjoon said - but don't keep me out from now on.
He pointed at Jin.
- sorry bro, won't keep you out anymore - Jin said.
- y/n, don't even think about leaving me with that other Snake hybrid of yours - was his turn to point at me now.
The mention immediately reminds me of the piton snake hybrid who was admitted today, Jimin the piton hybrid's definitely seemed like a case new to me. He didn't seem to respect any boundaries and was a extremely trouble maker, from his files i read today there was many cases highlighted of his doings, doctors being hurt by him and many tries to escape that ended with not only the staff hurt but some of the hybrids.
Not only that but his mental state doesn’t seem the best either, i felt deeply concerned for him.
- what? But he is not my patient? - i tell him. I would gladly take the case if it wasn't for Yoongi, he's been very sensitive to all the smells around, i was afraid that if Jimin gets too close and leave some scent he might go off really bad.
- you mean the new snake hybrid, he’s a piton... - Jin adds - if I'm not wrong he hasn't been assigned to a specific doctor yet, if the situations seems favorable y/n would you mind taking him?
- i don't know, Jin...
- i think it could be good for Yoongi, maybe we can introduce them two and see if they can become friend - Jin continues - i think that it would be good for him.
- I understand Jin but, that is something to be discussed more in the future - i tell him - we need to move slower, Yoongi just started to adapt to a new routine and you are already thinking of putting him into adoption process. He's been through a lot, he might need more time to process all of this. He doesn't even know about you.
- oh, you are right... well then let's keep the in mind for the moment but please - Jin looked at me, a soft expression on his face - do think about what i told about his adoption, I'm sure... you are be the best suited to this.
[…]
A few days have gone ever since Jin mentioned about Yoongis adopting process, I haven't gone a single minute without considering all the pros and cons for that, as Jin asked me. I knew he wanted me to carry on that process but, i wasn't sure about it. We haven’t even told Yoongi about that, since it was still something that needed to be worked on and we were not sure how we would react to it, Jin was taking his time with it. But not only for those reasons, i was assuming he was even more busy this week then ever before. He did carry on the matters with his fathers wrong doings, but nothing much could be done besides making him step down from his position at the clinic so Jin could take his place.
Jin mentioned in a meeting about the situation with his father that, he was afraid that by exposing Yoongi and making known how there was a possibility for humans and hybrids to reproduce together would only cause future troubles for the hybrids and the last thing he wanted was for the hybrids to be put on a lab and be tested on again.
I know he only had good intentions and i trusted he did what he could in the situation he was in, for that reason we decided to delete all traces of his mother relation with the hybrid and her pregnancy. All the documents were destroyed to ensure no harm would be done to any hybrid in the future.
I didn't wanted to but, Jimin was in the end passed down for my care. The piton snake himself made the request for Jin the day after he was set in the clinic, from then i knew there was nothing i could do but at the same time i was glad he was showing good signs.
I decided it would be best to talk about it with Yoongi which only made me more nervous about it.
- he's like me? I doubt - he said that time - i don't really care though.
I was perplexed at his unbothered response at first but then I began to wonder if it was only because of the suppressants he's been taking, whatever reason it was it made possible for me to carry on Jimins treatments more closely.
The piton snake was slowly making process, so far he had no episodes of anger his only problem seemed to be he was just a brat, whenever he could he would bother Jungkook the bunny hybrid and I remember Namjoon mentioning that it was because he was a prey hybrid. Jungkook only acted annoyed at Jimins bickering at him, clearly the bunny hybrid was much bigger then the piton hybrid but I wouldn't want to bet on that matter - although i did saw some colleagues betting on them in the lunch room.
Jimins misbehaving got less serious as the days went by, he decided to be extra annoying to me though. He would always send flirting comments to me whenever he could, trying to be cute the second he realized i was seriously unbothered. It was baffling how much he just throws those comments every now and then never missing a chance, i even set him for heat examination but he came clean. He was just dirty minded but a least i knew he wasnt trying to kill anyone here like he would on his past clinics. He did improved a lot and I was glad he was doing better now, after a few days Jimin has proven to me how even code red hybrids could recover if you just give them some time and space to heal after all they too get mentally exhausted.
Jimin was constantly left on open space with other hybrids at his old clinic which to some hybrids can be very overwhelming since some still fell very territorial, i heard from him how some other hybrids would act out because of it but the clinic never did anything about it.
From then he started to open up more to me about his past, i was right about him being mistreated and that made me even more protective of the small piton hybrid. He wouldn’t talk much about himself and i notice how he would quickly brushed off with a flirty comment whenever the conversation went too serious, i was surprised to discover how much of a soft hybrid he was. But it seemed he didn’t liked when people noticed that side of him.
Little by little i would mention to him if he would like to meet with Yoongi, he would usually make some unserious comments and I understand that he wasn’t ready for that in the moment.
A week has gone by since Jins father has stepped down from his position, i could tell things were changing around the clinic evere since. Jin was giving extra attention to every case to ensure that everything was doing fine. Through that time i notice more people coming to the clinic to apply for Yoongis adoption, i was happy more people seemed to be interested in taking him in but I couldn't ignore the bitter feeling it came with it.
I grew worried about it every day that went by, usually when hybrids begin adopting process the director review the documents of the people who applied and after the review a meeting with the people is set for them and the hybrid to meet each other and ensure things go smoothly for both of them.
I was glad Jin was taking this slowly for everything that Yoongi went through and specially since he still doesn't know about this yet it could make things more difficult. The grumpy snake hybrid was still grumpy from the suppressants and we still needed to discuss about his heat, it would be good for the hybrid to hold that much longer.
I knew it would come to a moment were a meeting would be set for him and i became even more anxious, it was selfish of me to think about it this way but just the thought of Yoongi going away set a pinch to my chest so deep it was enough to drive me insane.
I was done dueling on the matter but I had to tell him about it first, before making any decision i needed to let him know his options. I felt the need to let him know that he wasn’t an accessory but a being who had a life and he could make his own choices.
After much thought i decided to tell him at his lunch, but I couldn't make out any words as i just stood there in front of him as he eat his food quietly.
- you've been too quiet - he mentions.
- ah, yes I'm just thinking about something... - nervously replied.
- is it about me? You seem... weird - he said, putting the bowl down beside him. He brushed his hair to the side, dark eyes staring deep into mine as if trying to make out my thoughts.
- i know that it might be too soon... - i begin, sitting down beside him, ignoring his eyes as i stared at the floor bitting into my lower lip - i wanna know your thoughts on... hum… adoption.
- what do you mean by that? - he asks, i feel him move beside me turning to me completely - you wanna adopt? Is it... like a pet? Or...
He didn't continued realizing by my silence exactly what i meant. I sighted.
- Jin set you for adoption a few days ago.... - I blurted out.
- he... what? - he said - why didnt you tell me before? Why am i only finding out now?
- because i... I wanted to ask you first... - i looked up at him nervously, feeling heat creeping up on my cheeks.
Seeing as his dark eyes shined angrily at mine and his eyebrows furred into a thick line, his hair was still a bit wet from his early bath, i could smell the scent of lavender coming from his skin. He grew the habit of closing only the last four bottoms of his silk shirt, exposing his beautiful skin and the scales on his sides and his neck to my eyes. Yoongi knew exactly what he was doing when he let those bottoms opened, it was on purpose and he made that clear a few days ago during one of his bath.
Even under suppressants i realized his desire was just unstoppable and unfortunately for Jin who usually entered the room right when we were sharing a heated kiss, it was not the best scene to be present.
Maybe it was the fact that so many people showed up for Yoongi that made me finally step up, i knew ever since we shared a bite on his mating room I wouldn’t be able to stay away from him anymore and having to balance our relationship in the clinic wasn't enough not was it possible anymore.
- I’ve been meaning to ask you this but i was so nervous, Yoongi... - i tell him honestly - the truth is... ever since Jin brought this up first I've been thinking about it every day...
- what are you trying to tell me y/n? - he said, leaning closer he held my hand in his. - are you trying to say goodbye?
- i.... - i stopped immediately.
How could i even put this into words to him? I was so nervous my hands were shaking, seeing how he seemed to grow sadder i felt desperate.
- i want to adopt you Yoongi.
At my words his face immediately lightens up, eyes staring into my with much surprise.
- you mean... for real? - he was breathless.
- yes, i wanna take you to my home as mine - i tell him.
He immediately pulled me into his arms and i never been held so tightly by him before, i hugged him back softly caressing his hair.
- I'm all yours then... - he murmured in my neck.
My chest was almost exploding in excitement.
[...]
The morning after…
- here -  i said handing Jin the single paper.
- oh, what is it? - he asked, before taking.
- i thought i should hand it to you personally.... - i tell him - i didn’t wanted to waste any time.
He stared at me suspiciously before reading the paper i gave him, I chuckled at his immediate surprise response eyes opening enough to almost pop out off his head then slowly fading into a knowing smile as he looked up at me.
- what took you so long? - he said.
- overthinking maybe?
We both shared a smile before he put the paper down getting into a more serious mood.
- well then... should we discuss the meeting?
- yes, the sooner the better.
I couldn't even begin to believe it. Yoongi would leave this clinic for the first time in his life and it was going to be with me.
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. .
Next?
Notes: I’m sorry for any grammatical mistakes 😅😅 and the long wait, is not my best but it’s here. I hope you guys like it. See y’all 💖🙏
Taglist is closed!🚫: @yoongiwantsme @effielumiere @danielle143 @dragons-flare @awanderingangel @blue-and-grey-army @crystallizedtime @fairywriter-oracle @rosquilleta @m4gg13-g @unadulteratedlyunique @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @yoongislatinagff @kimsonlyluv @slut-4-yourmom @illnevertrustmyselfagain @bangchanbabygirlx @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @momnomnom @honsoolgloss @kimtaehussy @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe e @catlove83 @tarahardcore @liveyun @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna a @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky @watermelon2319 @mukeovernetflix @lopprhe @acquiescence804 @locket-hrt @prettytaesworld @myspi2010 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @armydgirl l @jaxyy219 @viankiss @shycreationdreamland @the-reas0n-is-y0u @nothingsreal420 @sckalykoko @lucis-noctiana
602 notes · View notes
bubblergoespop · 7 months ago
Text
EA ramble so Spoilers hehehhe (it’s very long and half of it probably doesn’t make sense i’m sorry)
FIRST OF ALL the start of the audio oh em gee he’s such a horny bastard i love it. i need to stop saying that um anyway. tbh i wasn’t even caught off guard that much bc that’s just the kind of thing i expected from a porter audio.
THE SAM CALLL AAWHHH porter’s genuine shock at sam, vincent and lovely leaving the house hurts me because he can’t seem to fathom having the kind of freedom and lack of obligation to make that choice AGH and i love his attitude he’s so silly.
“i am busy with someone very important to me.” kill me now please i can’t take this anymore. this whole audio’s focus was the fact that porter and treasure don’t know each other that well but despite that, porter cares too much about treasure to just up and leave them even at the mention of his house falling apart. it’s crazy how much he cares for treasure already and I LOVE IT wow sure do hope nothing bad happens to this weak defenceless unempowered human….
speaking of unempowered, i LOVE that porter addressed the power imbalance and how that was affecting treasure’s responses to him. i know treasure seemed to be stubborn, straightforward and upfront in porter’s sleep aid audio but i have a feeling that after porter denied “talking” so adamantly, treasure didn’t want to keep pushing him. not just out of care but also a slight hint of fear. not only are they unempowered but they were also completely uninformed before porter and i’m sure they still know little to nothing about the magical world. i can’t blame them for being hesitant to push a vampire, whose abilities they don’t really know the full extent of. saying that, they do still obviously care for porter and i’m so so glad that porter addressed this to ensure that treasure’s fear of giving the “wrong answer” doesn’t hurt their relationship with him.
and on the topic of their relationship, porter’s soft “do we?” after talking about the possibility of wanting to make their relationship long-term and more in depth AAAAAHHHH he’s so cute. and him acknowledging that it’s been a while since he’s had the desire or even the time to get to know someone outside of the solaire house hurts my heart so much. the fact that even after he was “freed” of his maker, he still was too absorbed by the need to appease william that he didn’t have time to live his own life outside of that is so painful to think about and i love it. also he’s just cute when he’s unsure heheh.
ngl i thought porter mentioning treasure’s surname would lead to him revealing his own true surname. but that’s mostly just me being hopeful because it’s still quite soon in his and treasure’s relationship. he doesn’t even know treasure’s surname so i doubt he’s in any place to just drop something so personal, maybe even something that brings up such emotional memories considering even his life before turning wasn’t the best.
porter’s little darling’s hehehe erik loves that term of endearment so much i swear. OH and porter’s repeated mentions of sam, to me, prove that there is something more to sam’s friendship with porter than there seems to have been shown to us. sam himself has already said he has a sort of tolerance for porter’s bullshit, even if it has limits. and now, porter’s mentions of sam throughout a conversation that doesn’t involve him tells me that the pair are closer than they seemed to be. which makes sam leaving the house hurt even more oh my god i can’t believe how porter feels considering maybe the one person in the house he could stand to be around is leaving. and even after trying to make up with vincent, now vincent is leaving too. porter lets pack our bags too and run away together as well please, you deserve everything.
UGH TREASURE MEETING SAM AUDIO WHENNNN??? erik please give sam a chance to reflect the “sam landed you?” comment onto porter with treasure.
AAAGGGHHHHH i can’t wait to see where this relationship goes. i didn’t think this would turn into such a long ramble wow i love this man (he’s fictional) he’s such a cutie (he has no canon appearance) i wanna marry him (he’s nothing but a voice).
116 notes · View notes
jolieblack · 4 months ago
Text
Jolie’s notes on
The Lion’s Mane (Sherlock & co podcast)
Oh, this case made me so happy. 🦁🪼⛴️
Sweet domesticity in Baker Street, then a client ringing the bell bringing a dramatic case… This is another ACD story with quite striking hidden horror. You don’t really think much about the state of the body when you read it, but when you really start thinking about it, it is horrific. And off they go, our heroes, to solve another mystery and right another wrong.
Heroes with a pension plan, of course. Because of course Mariana would have set that up for them all. I love how this show keeps finding modern ways of showing how well Mrs Hudson cares for those two crazy boys.
Heroes who drink tea with marshmallows, too. Sherlock being a big petulant child about those cracked me up.
Loved Maud‘s early reference to tentacles, too. 🦑
Archie being able to sense when people are sad. 🥹
The non-consensual bathroom sharing made me laugh, too, but can people PLEASE just stop making fun of men who sit down to wee? Housewives and cleaning staff all over the world would be so much happier if all men just did.
"It‘s a trolley stuck in a wall." 😂 Trust Jonk to turn absolutely everything into a rant against the rich. 😝
And then they’re off.
Loved this modern version of "Holmes and Watson get on another train for a case", and John waxing poetic about the countryside by night. I have looked out of the window of a night train at the starry sky in the not too distant past myself, so this scene struck a particular chord. But I‘d just love to see more of this reflective, quiet John. He hides him too well usually.
And talking of beautiful, evocative mental images, the moment when Fjara rises out of the sea mist gave me absolute goosebumps. A sight that makes even Sherlock Holmes go "oh my word" must be a sight indeed. And all that with just voices and music. Amazing work.
I also loved how the mythical aspect kinda crept in slowly but unstoppably, and I spent the longest time wondering why Maud had mentioned none of it. In retrospect, of course there was zero reason why she would have. I kinda forgot that Sherlock Holmes stories love playing with our fears of the supernatural, only to supply a completely natural explanation in the end. But that’s quite an achievement in itself! Well played, Joel.
I’m quite happy with the solution as such, too. The original story has always been a little fantastical, that the waters of the British Channel should contain one single organism who could inflict such damage on a human being. But the combination of Lion’s Mane burns, chemical burns, previous fistfight with probably head trauma and quite possibly also a touch of the Martini effect together could totally do it. I’m glad Ian Murdoch survived, btw, I thought he was going to be the third corpse.
I also really appreciated the Lion/Liona throwback to Rache/Rachel in Study in Pink (which seems to confirm to me that we have seen Study in Pink already and it won’t come back).
And the accents! I loooooved the accents. I think they’re a major part of the reason why I listened to this case three or four times before I even managed to pause the flow to take these notes.
Jonk was really taking cringe to a whole new level in his interactions with the locals, though. This is really a part of Watson’s character that they entirely made up for this adaptation and while Paul plays it to perfection, it never sits quite right with me. I’m glad John was his kind and sensitive self with Maud though.
Sherlock wading in rock pools with his trousers rolled up is a mental image that will stay with me for a long while. Check out this lovely art by @noodles-and-tea
"Sexy murderous sea demons?" - "Very, very unlikely." 😂
"We‘re cutting the engine *and* the conversation." & "You are not a priority." 😂
Poor John, nobody wants to hold his hand…
THE JELLYFISH
There’s a reason why the scene with the submarine submersible has inspired a lot of fantastic fanart. I’ll just let these speak for themselves:
Behold the Lion’s Mane by @starfruitsomething
Lion’s Mane by @abstractfrog
The Lion’s Mane Part 3 by @sealbug
The Lion’s Mane by @reibub
Lion’s Mane Comic by @abstractfrog
I’m so glad they went and found Fitzi McPherson in the end, too. I didn’t expect that and it was a lovely touch.
I may also be a tiny bit obsessed with Sherlock competently handling boats. Very happy to see this several times in this story.
All in all, pure enjoyment this time around. Story, atmosphere, humour, acting, straight As all around for the entire team. More, please!
56 notes · View notes
purble-turble · 3 days ago
Note
i can 100% see Nezha and mk's relationship (regardless if it's platonic or romantic) being equally beneficial and detrimental. like there so much they could help each other with but also subconsciously cause serious problematic habits/ thought processes/ coping mechanisums for each other and themselves the biggest thing my brain latched onto was how MK could become Nezha's first truly safe space.
Nezha going what i know and understand about his lore and what we can glean from the little we know in the show's canon, definitely has it rough in the celestial realm. he had a very troubled childhood and is clearly haunted by his past and is being defined by it despite his efforts to grow and prove that he's better now. he can command respect for his strength and power but people still question him as a person, always waiting for him to slip up. what relationships he does have he probably doesn't feel fully safe expressing his real self and thoughts because it poses potential risks. then mk comes into the picture. Nezha's given him a safe place to talk openly and he'd want to offer the same to the prince. even if he can't help directly he knows just having someone to vent to can help. its small stuff at first, little complaints here and there about work and the celestial realm, but slowly nezha starts to open up about more personal stuff. stuff with his family, with other celestials, and about his past. and to his amazement and relief is met with only empathy and understanding from mk, even after learning about the darker stuff MK never judges him. Nezha doesn't have to mask anything about himself around mk, infact he's being encouraged to relax and just be his natural self around him. he's truly safe when its just him and mk, that feeling has to be euphoric for the poor guy used to being on guard constantly even around the people he loves.
but of course, could easily lead to a mutually unhealthy co-dependency. nezha's already been isolated to some degree having never had much of a positive support structure, and mk's slowly isolating himself away from his established support structure. resulting in an echo chamber of two very well-meaning but very mentally ill people.
(i'm so sorry this turned into a short essay I've been waiting three hours to get of shift so i can spill my brains out about this. i have more but I'm going to end it here in fear that i'm being a bit much about these two)
Noo don’t worry about this being long, I absolutely love it!!
You’re so right, Nezha and MK are at the same time a good counterbalance for each other while also being accidentally self-destructive. MK is a chaotic lil gremlin who follows his emotions and worries about consequences later and Nezha (in LMK at least) seems to be trying very hard to come at things logically and approach from a more grounded, duty-based perspective. They both could use a splash of the other’s energy in that manner, so in that way it’s for sure a good thing that they’re getting closer.
Problem is, like you said, these boys are sooooo mentally ill 😂 The feeling that they need to constantly be proving themselves, giving a little more away every time, pushing their own boundaries and suffering in silence because it’s what someone else needs- these are things they might accidentally end up encouraging in each other…. Actually, probably not even accidentally. They see the other working crazy hard and being run ragged physically and probably emotionally too, and they’re like “I am SO proud of you for sacrificing so much!” ..and both of them have never felt so seen as when the other says that to them. It’s validating their worst impulses to just keep going and giving because their own feelings about it are less important than everyone else’s.
Also, the fact that they feel like they can expect to get that praise when they admit to being stressed might even make them be more open about it. Only with each other, though… if they were to mention feeling overworked or burdened to their families, they know already that they would not get the response they were looking for.. but again, even if it means they’re being more open, it’s still not a super good thing that it’s reinforcing destructive behavior. :U
25 notes · View notes
shelbystales · 10 months ago
Text
Best Aid - Part Eight
Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist
Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7
Summary: you are a young doctor in Birmingham. After a crazy incident, Thomas Shelby shows up at your hospital. You don’t know much about the man everyone seems to fear, but you definitely will.
Warning: swearing, mention of torture and panick attack
A/N:  Comment and interact, tell me what you think! it means a looot.
English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
On your next shift, the first thing you did when you arrived at the hospital was go straight to John Doe's room to see if he was still there. 
To your surprise, yes, he was still there. 
He had already undergone jaw surgery the day before, and to an even greater surprise, he was awake. He stared at the room's window as if he was hypnotized.
"Hi," you said, entering the room. "Good to see you awake," you smiled.
He shifted his attention from the window to you but didn't say anything. Well, he couldn't speak, as his mouth was paralyzed on the side of the jaw surgery, and it would probably stay that way for a while. 
His face was much less swollen and deformed then you had remembered.
You approached him to get the medical record and check the progress of his exams. "My name is Y/N; I was the doctor on duty the night you arrived. Do you feel any pain?" He subtly shook his head, and when you asked if you could examine him, he gave a small nod.
During the examination, you proceeded with caution, aware of the potential trauma he might have experienced. The signs of infection from his blood test had decreased, and the wound appeared to be healing well. Other than that, he was healing well.
After completing the examination, you left the room and returned to the trauma center, where you met with the shift residents and assigned tasks.
You started to overthink why Thomas hadn't stolen your patient, but as you created a thousand questions in your head, you just decided to accept the situation and move on with your day. After all, he did comply with your request.
Continuing your rounds, you attended to other patients.
During a break in the staff lounge, Jeremy joined you with his usual big smile. "Hey girl, how are you?" he asked, taking a seat beside you.
"Hey," you smiled back. "I'm good, you?"
"Great. Doctor says my fiancé has prostatitis," he said, relieved.
"Good, some antibiotics should solve it. Might take a while, though." you smiled
"Yeah... no sex for a while… well, at least it's not cancer," he joked.
"Dodged a bullet, huh?" you chuckled.
"Yes, yes. I was worried," he sighed. "Are you really okay? I didn't see you leave last shift."
You sighed, debating how much to share with Jeremy. "It's been a wild ride, Jer. There's this whole situation with the patient, and then late at night, Thomas showed up. It's like a never-ending rollercoaster with him."
Jeremy's smile faded, replaced by genuine concern. "What?" he asked, leaning in slightly.
"Yeah. And I fucking had a panic attack after he told me he would discharge John Doe. But then... he was so kind, helping me through the panic. I just... I don't know. I'm so confused about everything," you confessed.
"He just showed up and wanted to discharge the unconscious, almost dying man?" he asked, and you nodded.
"And as I argued he couldn't, I suddenly couldn't breathe," you shrugged. "I need a break. I told him I didn't want to see him. He just doesn't care."
Jeremy's expression turned from concern to disbelief. "That's insane. He is insane.”
“Just figuring that out now?” you frowned and sighed “But… At the same time, he brought the man in, and I don’t think he did all that to him. Also, he didn't steal my patient… and he was so so gentle to me.”
Jeremy furrowed his brows. “Okay, listen up, I love you. But you've got to figure out what you want from him, Y/N. It's not healthy to be caught in this constant state of confusion. You either want him or not."
“I don’t,” you blurted out.
“Shut up, you don’t. If you didn’t, what he did or didn’t do wouldn’t bother you,” he said, cutting through your protest with a knowing look.
You sighed, realizing Jeremy might be onto something. The conflicting emotions and the chaos Thomas brought into your life were undeniable, and deep down, you questioned your own motives.
“I just can't make sense of it, Jer. He's this enigma, this complicated man who seems to defy any logic i create,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair.
“People like that can be dangerous to get involved with, Y/N. I don’t want to see you getting hurt. Yes, he’s hot as fuck, might fuck you senselless, but we need boundaries to keep ourselves safe sometimes” Jeremy said, genuine concern etched across his face.
“Yeah I know. I just need time to figure things out,” you replied, your mind still swirling with uncertainty.
“Maybe just fuck him and ghost him” He smiled 
“That is definitely not the best option” you chuckled
“Yeah… i just. I want you to get laid. Maybe with someone else. You deserve it. Some dick could make your thoughts clearer” he leaned back as his big smile continued crossing his face
“Yeah, right. As if I have a line of people that want to fuck me”
“Oh girl… you are so oblivious. Let's start with all the male residents! And some nurses… Jesus you have no idea” He said surprised
“I’m gonna go. You forget it, i’m not getting involved with anyone in this hospital” you said
“Okay” he shrugged as you stood up and left
As the day progressed, you found yourself once again immersed in the demanding environment of the hospital.
In the quiet moments between duties, you couldn't help but reflect on Jeremy's words. The need for clarity tugged at you, urging you to confront the feelings you failed to understand.
As you left the hospital that day, the internal conflict within you raged on. Thomas Shelby's presence seemed to evoke a myriad of emotions - confusion, frustration, and an undeniable attraction that left you questioning your own judgment.
When you walked into the lobby of the hotel, you caught sight of Thomas engaged in a serious discussion with his aunt, Polly. The lines on Thomas's face spoke of stress and tension, a departure from his usual composed demeanor.
You stood there, observing from a distance, deciding if you should or not talk to him. Set some things straight. Maybe all you wanted to hear was that he didn’t do anything to the man. Or maybe that he cares about others and that’s the reason he left the man in the hospital care. Or maybe… just maybe… you wanted to hear his husky voice…
As Thomas and Polly concluded their conversation, you observed him preparing to leave the lobby, a sense of urgency evident on his face. Your eyes met, and a shy smile from you prompted a momentary pause, marked by a furrowed brow.
"Can we talk?," you mouthed standind a few feets away from him.
He slightly nodded. Stopping in the middle of the lobby and following you after you started to walk in the direction of the elevators.
As you stepped into the elevator, the atmosphere between you and Thomas was heavy. The air charged with unresolved tension.
The doors closed, enveloping both of you in a temporary cocoon of privacy.
"Alright, Y/N, what's on your mind?" Thomas inquired, his voice low and steady. His posture, rigid yet composed.
You took a deep breath, your gaze fixed on the floor, steeling yourself for the words about to spill out. "I need you to be honest,"
"About?" he replied, his piercing gaze fixed on you. 
"The man," you said, meeting his gaze, searching for any hint of emotion in his stoic posture—a true master of the poker face.
"What about him?" His response, delivered with an air of nonchalance
"Did you do that to him?" you pressed
"I already told you that, eh?" he countered, glancing around the elevator as it announced the floor—the floor to your room.
"You didn't," you asserted, the tension escalating with each passing moment.
"Yeah, I didn't do it," he admitted, his eyes meeting yours briefly before the elevator doors opened. You exited first, and he followed, the charged atmosphere trailing into the corridor and eventually into your hotel room.
In the room, you moved with purpose, entering the kitchen to fetch two glasses of water. Placing them on the dining table, you invited him to sit. 
"How long will this take?" he inquired, his posture a blend of impatience and reservation.
"Do you have somewhere else to be?" you countered, your eyes locked onto his.
"I do" he answered shortly
"If you want to fix this, take a seat," you added, leaning back and crossing your arms, awaiting his response.
Thomas hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on you, weighing the options. After a pause that seemed to stretch on, he finally relented, his movements fluid yet hesitant as he took a seat at the dining table.
You observed him closely, noting the subtle nuances in his posture.
"Why did you bring him to the hospital if you weren't responsible for what happened to him?" you questioned, your voice steady. 
His eyes met yours, a flicker of something unreadable passing through them. "I never said I wasn't responsible. I said I didn't do it," he responded, the words hanging in the space between you like an unspoken challenge.
“Fuck you” you filled your mouth to say those words, and it felt good “What the fuck is that suppossed to mean?”
"He's a friend," he admitted
"Why didn't you just say that from the beginning?" you retorted, frustration evident in your tone.
Thomas's gaze remained steady, a mixture of regret and resolve in his eyes. "There are things that go beyond simple explanations."
"No, no. Some explanations are pretty simple," you shrugged, your frustration simmering beneath the surface.
"Y/N," he began, his Birmingham accent adding a distinct cadence to his words. "If I started spillin' every detail, you'd be tangled in a mess you're better off avoiding. Because then, you would ask me why my friend was like that. And I would have to tell you, since we're bein' honest, that he was kidnapped and tortured for information about me. Because that's what happens to people around me. And you would ask me why, and I tell you, that's business, and me business is a difficult thing to explain" he continued, his voice carrying the weight of a reality that seemed both distant and uncomfortably close.
The room echoed with a heavy silence, the weight of Thomas's revelations settling around you both. You knew exactly what his business was after a few hours googling him, no. A few hours fucking stalking the man.
"I never asked for any of this, Thomas," you finally spoke, your voice a mix of frustration and vulnerability. "I never signed up for a life entangled in your... business."
Thomas leaned back, his eyes fixed on you, acknowledging the truth in your words. "And I never asked you to. But here we are."
"I don't want to end up like your friend," you stated firmly, your voice carrying the weight of your fears and the boundaries you needed to set.
Thomas's eyes, now revealed a hint of regret. "You won't," he replied, his voice softer than before. "I promise."
You sighed, feeling the weight of the situation settling on your shoulders. Taking both hands to your face, you couldn't shake off the stress that had crept into your being.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, his usually stoic demeanor giving way to an unexpected tenderness.
"Stressed," you answered
"Aren't we all?" he remarked, a rare hint of vulnerability in his voice.
"Is your life always like this?" you inquired, curiosity peeking.
"No, it has never been like this," he admitted, taking a sip of the water in front of him. "Could be a glass of whisky, eh?" he suggested, a faint smile playing on his lips.
"I don't remember the last time I drank whisky," you confessed.
"Really?" he raised an eyebrow, glancing around the room. "I think there's a bottle somewhere."
"There's a drink cart in the bedroom," you informed him.
After a brief search, he found the cart and walking into the living room with the bottle in hand he looked at you for approval. "One glass?"
"Sure, why not?" you agreed, welcoming the distraction 
Thomas poured a modest amount of whisky into two glasses, the amber liquid catching the soft glow of the room. As he handed you a glass, his fingers brushed against yours in a fleeting touch, making your heart race wiht excitement. 
As the whisky warmed your insides, Thomas leaned back, the weight of his own burdens evident in the lines of his face. You couldn't help but notice how well he looked, how well dressed he was. If you just saw him crossing the streed, you would never believe that the man in front of you was a fucking gang leader.
The air between you carried a mixture of tension and a strange camaraderie born out of the unexpected intimacy of the moment.
"This is better," Thomas remarked, studying the liquid in his glass after taking a sip.
"You know, this isn't how I imagined our conversation going," you admitted, a wry smile playing on your lips.
Thomas chuckled, the sound rich and resonant. "Nor did I, Y/N."
Ozzy appeared, strolling in from the bedroom and hopping onto the couch, where he promptly settled down for a nap. You couldn't help but smile as you watched him make himself comfortable.
"Do you like cats?" you asked, curious about Thomas's preferences.
"No," he answered bluntly.
"Get out of my room," you joked, eliciting a chuckle from him. "Why not?"
He shrugged. "I just don't."
"Yeah, you look like a dog person."
"I have horses, I don't have a dog."
"Oh, right. Rich people pets," you teased, a playful smile on your face.
Thomas raised an eyebrow at your playful jab. "Horses are not exactly house pets," he remarked, a hint of amusement in his tone.
"Fair point," you conceded, enjoying the banter that seemed to ease the tension. "So, what does Thomas Shelby do for fun? Besides making me insane, of course"
His gaze flickered with a subtle mix of contemplation and amusement. "Fun... hm, let's say I like riding horses, reading, and chess."
"Chess, huh? I bet I can win” you smiled, gaze locked on his
Thomas Shelby leaned back, a mysterious glint in his eyes as he considered your challenge about chess. "You can try," he said, his smirk hinting at a quiet confidence.
The air between you felt lighter. You felt good about it. He could be a good company. 
"What happened?" you asked, meeting his gaze. Thomas frowned slightly, not understanding what you meant. "How did a guy that likes horses and plays chess turn my life upside down? making me feel like I couldn't breathe for days? Made me fear my life. At one point I felt so paranoid that i could swear there was someone was following me down the hospital. Because the Thomas in here now... I like this Thomas."
There was a moment of silence, Thomas's gaze held a mixture of contemplation and a touch of vulnerability you failed to see before.
"I already told you I didn't intend for any of this, Y/N," he began, his voice softer than usual “Believe me if you want, I didn't want you to get caught in it. But then, I woke up and you were already involved”
"I know," you admitted, your voice reflecting a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. "But I don't know how to navigate through this. It's like stepping into a world or a war I never knew existed."
He reached across the table, his hand covering yours in a gesture of reassurance that sent a little jolt through you. "Look, I want you to know that I won't leave you alone in the chaos I've brought. Ok?", You nodded 
His touch, warm and reassuring, sent a subtle thrill through you, awakening a desire you hadn't fully acknowledged since he walked in here tonight. As your eyes locked with his, an unspoken promise hung in the air, and for a brief moment, you found myself teetering on the edge of exploring something deeper with Thomas Shelby.
you cleared your throat, a nervous habit that betrayed the tumultuous thoughts racing through your mind. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" you managed to inquire, hoping to redirect the conversation and temper the rising anticipation. The effects of the whisky were starting to weave their magic, adding a layer of haziness to your judgment.
"I do," he sighed taking his hand from yours and adjusting his suit. "I enjoyed our talk. Are we in a better place?"
"Yeah, just... don't bring me more near-death guys. Please," you chuckled, the sound echoing in the room.
"And who would I take them to?," he replied, a hint of amusement in his eyes.
“I don't know" you shrugged "Government health system is avaible in birmingham"
He chuckled "yes, i have a hospital so that I can send my friends to the public system" he mocked
"Well... can I just ask you to try and be honest? That's all I really need from you. I don't want to fear you” 
"Are you sure the truth won't make you do exactly that?,"
"So far it hasn't, the other way around actualy" you answered
"Fine. That's a challenging thing to ask me, but sure. I can try," he agreed.
"Good," you smiled.
"Have a good night, Y/N," he said, starting to stand up. As he rose, something compelled him to lean down, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head.
"You too," you replied, feeling a strange mix of surprise and comfort. As he headed toward the door, you couldn't help but blurt out, "Wait, why didn’t you steal my patient?"
He stopped in his tracks, turning back to face you. "I couldn’t have him die on me, and… I trust you," he explained, his words hanging in the air. It left you with a complex swirl of emotions.
"Can I ask his name?" you inquired.
"Johnny Dogs. He's not registered, by the way. So, keep it as John Doe. If people start asking too many questions, you tell me," he instructed, and you nodded. His gaze holding yours for a moment longer before he walked out.
With a deep sigh, you sank back into your chair, contemplating the unexpected twists of the day.
The Thomas you saw in here now was the same one you welcomed into your home and that version of Thomas was surprisingly good company. That was the Thomas who drew you in, the one you found yourself attracted to. Yet, how could he embody two entirely different personas simultaneously? one you felt like punching and other you felt like kissing...
At least, he trusted you.
The knowledge of his trust provided a welcome boost to your self-esteem. Despite the whirlwind of confusion and complexity, you couldn't deny the comfort in knowing that, in his own enigmatic way, Thomas Shelby trusted in you.
taglist:
@deanlovescassie @hellstears @randomfanfics02 @literishdegree99 @watersquirtpewpewboomm @hellstears @rito4ka @alexxavicry @atomicsoulcollecto @Violet_19999 @lyarr24 @woofgocows @milkshakelol @knowledgefulbutterfly @watercolorskyy @redhead7799 @star017 @stuckinmylittlebubble @bat-luna-cat @babaohhhriley @scullys—alienpussy @kassieesworld @deepangelstudentsworld @batgurl42 @starlitjellyfish @velenzia @lyarr24 @Sweetiecake180 @musicsweetie21 @lostgirl219 @slaypussypop-21 @nyenye @izzwizz774 @ooldcardigan @kielsegur @nikkialex @1nterstellarcha0s @mariamx1 @swingingmusicalfunnydragon @illuminwtesz @lazyylover
108 notes · View notes
sadnightforus · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MISMATCH  (JSC)
established relationship, boyfriend!sungchan x gn!cold reader
SYNOPSIS: He spent time trying to figure you out. You were not the easiest person to understand, but he tried. His only fear was you abandoning him, all alone in this cold world. 
WORD COUNT: 3.1K
WARNINGS: neglectful behavior from the reader, mentioned of cancer, minor mentioned of Chenle, avoidable cuss words, some tiny argument (probably not that tiny but you get what I mean since it’s not a lot), happy ending so guess it’s all good for us :D
PART OF HEARTBREAK STATION 
A/N: I did not really beta-read this one through. Enjoy.  
SONG USED: SO THAT YOU DO NOT GET UPSET BY TAEK. 
reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!
Tumblr media
 By then, he’s already getting used to waiting for you when the clock strikes past 9 pm, way past your leave hour from work. 
 The anniversary for 2 years is approaching. It’ll be there to remind him of how much time you both had spent together. Being the caring boyfriend he is, he rushed over to your place and used the spare keys you had given him, months after dating, so you both can come and go to each other’s place without having to awkwardly wait for another person at the door. 
 But recently, there has been a problem. A huge one that drives him insane. 
 He can’t honestly recall when exactly it started, but he vividly remembers that you suddenly avoided him, giving him the cold shoulder treatment when pressing you for an answer. Your first excuse was that you were just exhausted, then the college burden, then your work drove you crazy and then you came up with the kind of excuses that he knew were completely untrue and that you were just lying.
 The clock is ticking, telling it’s 9:20 pm but yet you’re still not home. He wanted to call you but you have a habit of putting your phone on silent when you need some time alone. The food is getting colder and he reconsidered heating it when he hears your footsteps into your place.
“You’re back!” He exclaimed happily. You don’t respond to that, just give him a small smile in return. 
“I made dinner for both of us. Just sit down, I’ll feed you. You don’t have to do anything.” 
 You only nod, not doing anything else as you oblige by his orders. He watches you, wondering if you slowly fall out of love with him and that’s why you don’t need him by your side anymore. 
“I can feed myself. Don’t do anything.” You add. “You don’t have to heat up the food, let’s eat it like that.”
 He pulls out your chair so you both can properly be seated and you let him do so. He serves you to his heart's content as you watch him retrieve the food back from the counter. You know you did give him a really hard time these past few months, but you can’t seem to talk about what’s bothering you. One day, one day maybe. 
 He sits down, slowly starts eating at the same time. He avoids your favorite food so that you’ll have it all to yourself, even if he likes it too. 
“How’s class?” He asks, curious. 
“It was okay.” Your voice is quiet, almost going unheard of if not for the comfort of your own place. “What about you?” 
“Professors are being cruel as usual. I don’t have any assignments due for this week. I wish for days like this.” He dramatically wails and you chuckle at his attempts. 
 You grab some pork and place it onto his plate, as you know it’s one of his favorites but you also know he avoids it because he wants you to have it all. 
“I’m not that hungry, we can share this together.” 
 Even if you don’t talk a lot, uncharacteristically quiet from an already quiet and reserved person that you are, he still tries to read what’s on your mind.  
 You continue to have a little talk then and there. He treasures every moment of it but he notices that the sparkle in your eyes that he adores so much has long disappeared, replacing itself with void and almost agonizing pain. But when you blink, it disappears and there’s the glint of happiness in your eyes, back again. 
 He starts having doubts on what really went wrong in this relationship but he pushes the thoughts aside and tries to enjoy any moments left with you. 
 But he knew that he’ll have to confront that topic one day, soon enough. 
Tumblr media
“Happy anniversary, babe.” He whispers happily, looking deep into your eyes as the soft romantic music is playing in the background. 
 For both of your special days, he had made a reservation at a fancy restaurant, 2 months before. His friend, Chenle, the grandson of the said restaurant, used his privileges to move his name into a ‘VIP client’ section so that he’ll be able to do this. Any normal person would’ve to book the reservation 5 months in advance if they plan to do so. 
“Thank you for this.” You mutter, grateful that he went out of his way to make the special day so memorable. 
 He turns flustered as he can see the adoring look in your eyes while you hold eye contact with him, mumbling out countless thank yous and lovely things that he hasn’t heard of in weeks now. 
“I love you.” He smiles, relieved to see that you like it. 
“I love you too.” 
 You’re not very vocal about your feelings. He never pushes you to do so as he knows that you’ll only say it when you want to. 
 But for some reason, he gets the sunken feelings that this will be the last time that he hears it. 
 He flushes you a smile, not knowing if this will be the last big date you both will ever have with one another. Or the last time that he gets to smile at you like that. 
 But either way, he is determined to keep this going as long as it can be. 
“Should we drink red wine?” He asks, wanting the night to be perfect for you. 
“Won’t that be expensive?” You frown, thinking about the panic that will rise once you see the bills. 
“I want tonight to be just about you. Don’t worry about the price.” He grins at you back lovingly, reassuring you that he has more than enough. 
 The night quickly wrapped itself with the only connection that you both would understand, as you had become one with him under the stars that shine so brightly in the universe in the comfort of his place. 
 But even then, he knew that he one day, will have to eventually face how wrecked and cold this relationship is. He pushed the thoughts aside, leaning closer to look at you, in case it’ll be the last time he got to see you this close. You’re already asleep, breathing steady and looking so angelic to him. 
 He kissed the top of your head and mumbled out a quiet goodnight, closing his eyes and feeling his heart is a bit at ease, knowing that you’ll be the first thing he’ll see in the morning when the stream of sun rays hits his eyes. 
Tumblr media
“I have to go, I can’t stay here.” You said, already grabbing your small handbag and attempting to walk out the door. 
“But your birthday ca-” 
“I’m sorry.” You shot him an apologetic look, not sparing another minute to spend with him on your special day before slamming the door shut and he can only watch you leave until he loses sight of you. 
 It’s your birthday today and he wants to make it extra special as it’ll be the second birthday you’ll spend together. Lucky enough that he doesn’t have any classes for today so he has time to perfect your birthday with things he knew you would like. 
 But unfortunately, one text ruined the plan as he could see you celebrating your day so happily just earlier with him, blowing out the candles as he sang a song to create a more melodic atmosphere. 
 He glances at the gift he was planning to give you sadly. He knows that it’s all coming to an end but he is willing to give one more try, just one more try until the string that holds both of you detached itself completely from one another. 
 He starts to rethink about from the very beginning and before it all came down here. You were never a person of many words, he can say many things to charm others. He is more social than you are while you keep to yourself a lot, sometimes it almost feels like you hold onto too many secrets, afraid that the very vulnerable place would be attacked and send you out with even more trust issues. 
 He looks at the necklace you got him for his first birthday, which he still wears because it’s equally as stylish as it is sentimental to him that his partner got him a gift that becomes a part of his life. 
 He is afraid that he will have to take it off one day. Just like how he’ll no longer have you by his side. 
 He breathes heavily, letting streams of tears fall down his cheeks, not caring anymore about keeping his composure because it pains him to think about that day. 
 It pains him that you slowly lose your attention on him, not caring about things he does for you or in general anymore. 
 But he loves you too much for that, so he tries to breathe in with the hot tears pricking in his eyes and makes a mental reminder to not do anything that might destroy this relationship. 
 Just another try, so that he can put his mind at ease before he walks out of your life forever. 
Tumblr media
“Are you kidding me right now, Sungchan?” You yell, furious and both equally as frustrated in your tone. 
“Why have you been sneaking around? Do you think I have the heart of a monk? Of course, I’d be so fucking mad!” He yells back, trying his hardest to not burst into tears right there and then. 
“I told you, I have a reason to go out this late at night!” You try to reason, eyes now tainted by the agonizing pain and unreadable kind of desperation shown in your gaze that he has never seen before. 
“It’s fucking 2 in the morning!” He points out, mad by your action. 
 He has given you so much time to speak but you didn’t. And this is the final straw as he woke up to you just re-entering the bedroom when you both had previously fallen asleep together around 12 am. 
 And that’s why you both are in the situation that you are in now because he decides to confront you instead of letting the matter slide like how he used to. 
“So what?” You sass back and he is slightly confused and both amused that there’s a hidden pain in your tone, rather than ‘not caring’ you’d often use. 
“I’m not a kid. I don’t know what you think I am but I’m not stupid. If you don’t want me anymore, you can just say that to my face.” 
 You look at him, this time with an unreadable expression on your face. He thought he saw your eyes almost brimming into tears but when he blinks, the tears quickly disappear, leaving with a cold empty look to match with the current atmosphere of both the heart and place. 
 You both go radio silent for a bit, you finding yourself extremely speechless from his accusation because the truth is: you need him more than ever. But you don’t want to burden him. No, you don’t want to place that pain onto him anymore.  
“Why did you do that?” He asks, this time, finally letting his tears fall and he doesn’t care if it is weak. All he can think about is that he’ll have to hear the things that he doesn’t want to escape your lips and the apologies that would surely make its way because he’ll never be enough. 
 You contemplate on whether you should say it. You know you’ve been putting him in a tough spot for the last 5 months or so but really, time is never kind and you have to sacrifice your own happiness to say goodbye. 
 You bite your lips, letting the tears fall down, mirroring his expressions. Eyes red and in so much curiosity, laced with an ungodly amount of pain before you speak slowly, trying to muster the courage to sound as stable as you can. 
“My best friend is dying.” 
 With that, you feel your knees going weak and you almost crumble to the ground, if not for the fast reflex that he manages to catch you on time. 
 It all now makes sense why you seem so distant. 
 Your best friend was a part of you, your better other half as you had referred to her as. You occasionally bring her up with a smile on your face when you both happen to have a deep conversation together. But he noticed that he couldn’t seem to bring your friend up because you would dismiss the topic as quickly as the question popped out. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He softly asks, stroking your hair as he allows your tears to soak his shirt. Your muffled sobs did nothing but tug at his heartstrings more than before because he knows that you’d most likely have to give up on your personal time spent with him to stay by your best friend’s side. 
“I- I just don’t want to burden you.” 
“You could never burden me.” 
“I’m just.. afraid- afraid that it’ll be too much to handle for you.” His torn heart absolutely breaks at this claim, why did his precious baby think that your pain doesn't deserve to be shared too? 
“It’ll never be too much when it comes to you.” He mumbles, sincerity shown in every syllable he utters those words out as he averts his eyes to look at your figure with so much love and the need to protect you from the bad things in the world. 
 He lets you cry as long as you want to as he strokes your hair gently, afraid that you might be startled by the not so gentle-touch from him as a way to comfort and letting you embrace yourself in him for as long as you desire. Each tear, breaks him even more as he wonders how long had you been really keeping this up; pretending to be strong, isolating yourself in fear of dragging them along into your sadness. Only then, did he notice that you had lost a significant amount of weight and you appear to be more fragile to him than ever. 
“I don’t know if she’s gonna make it.” You mumble out, clearly intent for him to hear but your voice was so quiet that he almost missed it. He waits for you to continue as you catch your breath before speaking again. 
“She has cancer, they caught it early but I can’t really watch her suffering. I wish I could take all of her pain and let it be transferred to me.”
 The thought made him cry. Your heart is pure and he curses himself for ever thinking that it’s him that you got bored of and even the thought of you finding someone else better crossed his mind on occasion where he let his emotions overtake the best of his senses, when it’s the opposite of his assumption. 
“She’s strong. I know she can overcome it.” 
“I’m just… just really scared. Do you know what she said to me? She said she doesn’t wanna die yet, she hasn’t even fulfilled half of the wishes. She hasn’t…” You shake your head, furiously crying as more hot tears soak the thin fabric of your boyfriend’s shirt. 
“I’ll be here with you at every step.” He whispers and you feel comforted by what he said fully because you know that he will. 
“I’m sorry about the birthday thing. And I’m sorry for my behavior for these past 5 months.” You apologize as you slowly come to realize that you probably made him cry out of doubts. That thought made you feel like an asshole. 
“Don’t blame yourself for that.” He speaks like he can read your mind. “You were very stressed. But you’re so strong, you can get through this.” 
 You let him comfort you and kissing your tears and knowing that now you don’t have to go through the pain alone makes you feel less alienated. And the remaining hours until the sun rises, you both converse in conversations and become more verbal with your love towards him. You feel as if you were seen, understood and taken care of without any fear. 
 And you swear that you’ll never let him go as he promises that he’ll always be by your side until the end of life. 
 Maybe you don’t have to go through it alone. You have him, and it’s all that matters. 
Tumblr media
BONUS 
“Happiness does look good on you, you know.” 
“Is that the first thing you said to me when you woke up, really?” You let out a laugh, surprised by your best friend’s remark. 
 When you received a call from the hospital that your best friend’s surgery was a success, you were excited, thrilled and just so relieved to have your best friend be protected and finally safe and secured from the danger. You quickly called your boyfriend, telling him about the amazing news and he dropped the last 2 lectures of today to take you to where you needed the most. And you swear that you’ll make him your husband someday. 
“Sungchan, stop holding Y/N’s hand. Yuck!” She pretends to make a puking expression, even makes a vomiting noise. 
“I need to tell the world I’m in love. It's not my fault that you have to witness that.” He sasses, clearly finds it better than expected that the girl is fiesta in her own way.. 
“Do it somewhere else, I hate happy couples.” 
And you three share a hearty laugh, 
 And as he looks at you, he thanked the universe that he never gave up and gave one more try to the relationship. 
 He could die from happiness right then and there.
Tumblr media
COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2023
172 notes · View notes
ziploc849 · 1 month ago
Text
Another wall of text on my thoughts for episodes 70-78, I’m gonna make a seperate post for 79 and 80 having listened to them already cause there is just. So much.
I wrote all of these notes after listening to the original episode, not any further, so enjoy my thought process though the last quarter of this season!!!
Ep 70: More death discussions, oh joy!! These are the episodes that make me the most uncomfortable, the ones that talk about the nature of death more than just the fact that it exists. I am curious where these books are coming from, if it’s not just Leitner’s involvement that makes them fucked up. Also Not-Sasha’s laptop having “authentication errors” definitely sounds accurate, even the technology can tell she’s not really her.
Ep 71: Another example of a story with a focus on claustrophobia. Most of the ones we’ve heard by now are from people who are very clearly scared/panicked by the occurance, but Karolina was suuuper chill about it all. Even not being afraid of death, as she mentioned. It feels strange to not be at least a bit perturbed by the idea of your own death, especially in such an untimely way. That’s coming from me though, who absolutely has a fear of death in some capacity, so I’m probably projecting a bit
Ep 72: Basira you better still be alive and not murdered by darkness demons or some shit you’re too cool. Also kindly what the fuck is this episode. I know there’s been some episodes to do with large amounts of meat or body parts, the room in the man upstairs, the teeth in thrown away. A part of me wants to say this is just a story about a crazy fucking murderer, but I am far to familiar with this fucking series by this point to think it’s just that. So seriously what is the fucking deal with all the meat. The link to the Tom Hahn in Killing Floor is interesting though much like Jon I have no clue what it means.
Ep 73: There are officially too many cults and I cannot keep track of them. Once again phobia themes!!! Darkness!!! Plus the idea that a space was much smaller in reality than it seemed while going through it, which sounds at least similar to a lot of the endless/infinite stuff we’ve seen before. I’m a little worried about Basira now, since like Jon mentioned being involved and in the know with these things in the way they are seems to offer some level of safety, at least more than if they’re not part of an official organization. Iirc Natalie was the weird girl who kept unscrewing the lightbulbs in that one episode, and Rayner was mentioned in Fathers Love?? I think??
74: Totally unexpected change of events, something fucked is in the tunnels!!! Never would’ve guessed!!!! Snarkiness aside though, this episode is interesting. Michael being there was confusing at first, but I’d wager a guess the drawings mentioned are fractals, or something similar, and he seems to like things that go on forever and fold in on themselves. The idea of the thing in the tunnels somehow removing and replacing the floor is interesting, I don’t know if we’ve seen things like that happen in places that are not somehow extradimensional or unreal in some way (like the spaces Michael likes so much). The fact that the person is taking files is also concerning, I would hope Jon would check to see if anything important is missing, or what was taken in general. Clues n such. Also we’re finally getting more confirmation that Not-Sasha is up to some sketchy shit!!!! Catch on Jon please god!!
75: Michael Crew what the hell have you become. The mention from Jon about wondering if the books take power from the people reading them instead of the other way around makes sense, but what does that mean for people like crew? People who died because of something to do with the book and are just. Inexplicably back? I can’t remember if there are other examples of something like this or if it’s just that there’s been so many books and so much death that it blends together. Basira really came through bringing the tapes, and it’s a much more satisfying goodbye to her character than just “fuck it I’m done buh bye”
Ep 76: Melanie King my beloved!!! I love that she and Jon are able to, for lack of a better term, infordump together lol. Hearing them literally finish each others sentences in the end talking about the research King was doing gave me a special kind of happiness lol. I do hope she doesn’t get murdered by ghosts in India though. Also she doesn’t recognize Not-Sasha!!!!! She knows she isn’t actual Sasha!!!! And now Jon has a real and true inkling of what’s going on. C’mon Jon you remember Graham from Across the Street, put the pieces together please god.
Ep 77: we have answers on whatever is up with Not-Sasha!! The Not-Them, apparently just one weird creature. Gertrude mentions “The Stranger”, which idk what it means but I know Mary Keay mentioned “The End”. I really don’t know what this could be about, but the way they talk about them like creatures or something is curious. Jon putting pieces together at the end even I hadn’t realized!!! Distortion and Strange Music both had Sasha’s voice. God I already knew the voice actor for Jon is fucking incredible but the panic and horror in his voice as he puts the pieces together of what Not-Sasha is, and what it must’ve done to actual Sasha? Phenomenal. But also I REALLY want Jon to clue the others in on what’s going on. They might not believe him right away and it might take a lot of explanation but there is real logic and evidence in what’s going on, they’ll pick up on that I assume
Ep 78: God the grief in Jon’s voice is awful. VA is too good. But also listening to the statement, hearing such explicit confirmation that the people attacked by the Not-Them are dead, not simply missing or lost, was so hard to hear Jon read. Just realizing that was probably the first time he got proper confirmation of it as well. Also god DAMN it he needs to tell Tim and Martin what the fuck is going on they can HELP. And maybe then he can get help from his friends instead of going through Michael’s fucking doors to escape the now unbound(???) Not-Them. Fucking wild
20 notes · View notes
watermelonsloth · 9 months ago
Text
Things the Naruto Fandom Don’t Talk About Nearly Enough Part 2: Sasori’s Puppet Body
CW: Mentions of self-harm, self-mutilation, body dysmorphia and self-hatred
I’ve already talked a little about this but I’m not ready to shut up about it.
I’m not gonna try explaining the confusing ass science/jutsu/bullshit that would make this remotely possible, but I am gonna mention the sheer amount and density of this redhead’s mental unwellness. I don’t even know where to start.
I guess I’ll start with the fact that it’s implied that Sasori was FIFTEEN when he did this. The idea that he was so young when he had skill to pull something that insane off successfully and he reached the mental breaking point to go through with it is crazy to me. Especially since this wouldn’t be something you’d do on impulse, it would be premeditated.
Building on that, we never get a moment where Sasori just snaps like most of the other antagonists we get a backstory for. Because of that, I’m led to believe that his breakdown was just him sitting in his own worsening mental state until it boiled over. So that leaves the question:
When did this process actually start?
As a (very important) side note, did somebody help Sasori? I’m sure anybody who has gone down the rabbit hole of Sasori’s anatomy has also wondered what in the hell this process would’ve looked like. It couldn’t have been Chiyo’s jutsu to bring a puppet to life. First, Sasori didn’t know that jutsu existed. Second, Sasori’s body has a biological core, he isn’t just possessing a puppet. To maintain that core, did he undergo some sort of surgery??? And if so, wouldn’t that imply that at least one person was there to perform the surgery? Or did Sasori perform the surgery himself without using anesthesia or pain killers? He just stubbornly underwent what was probably a few hours of self-inflicted torture.
Speaking of self-inflicted, the very few people I have seen delve into Sasori changing into his puppet body don’t delve into that fact that this is self-inflicted. Sasori didn’t snap and hurt others (I mean, he did, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now), he snapped hurt himself. I’ve read FMA, I know the silent hell that Alphonse went through living in a non-biological body. And whether he realized the full consequences of transforming his body into a puppet or not at the time, this still seems like a very unnatural/self-harm adjacent thing to do to yourself (at least from my perspective). Especially, again, with how this had to have been premeditated.
So, was it self harm to him? Did he hate himself? Did he hate some part of his body? The entirety of it? Was it out of a fear of death or deterioration like Orochimaru? (If so, how did that impact his relationship with Orochimaru?) Or did he not see it as harmful? Did he think he was fixing himself in some way? Or did he not consider his body a part of the equation at all and it was just a purely practical decision to turn his body into a weapon?
I don’t know which one is worse and I can see any of these aligning with his character.
Previous Next
31 notes · View notes
favcharacterpoll · 1 year ago
Text
ROUND 4 MATCH 32: IANTO VS. NICO
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ianto Jones from Torchwood faces Nico di Angelo from the Riordanverse. Who do you like more?
Ianto Propaganda:
"He is just the sweetest man and he sacrificed himself for the good of the world"
"VOTE IANTO I actually don’t agree with his propaganda it really belittles his character makes his death seem more intentional than it was no he was a complex character who died tragically attempting to save the world he’s not that sweet and he wasn’t trying to be a martyr very woobie!Ianto wording there but yes he is a very beloved character because he’s a bitch and drives cars into bodies of water"
"ianto literally has a physical shrine in cardiff that's been there for so long it's a landmark on google maps"
"He looks good in a suit and makes FANTASTIC coffee"
Nico Propaganda:
"autism"
"YOU KNOW WHAT. if autism isn't enough to compel you to VOTE NICO then i will write this.
ok so he's gay & european (like the legally blonde song) and also a goth. we love our goths here on tumblr right?!
first i need to provide you a visual. please imagine a small italian boy. now imagine that small italian boy going through a time machine hotel casino in vegas, some wack crazy traumatic incidents, becoming an alt/emo kid and being so fucking powerful that even gods show a little more respect to him than others...
nico has gone through literal hell TWICE !! one time it was VOLUNTARY !! and all the while he was probably experiencing said hell in its most terrifying form. this shows us his mental resilience and selflessness are incredibly strong traits of his and that maybe he should stop being a reckless bitch but whatever !!!!!!
tumblrinas listen up... nico was the first canon lgbt+ character created by rick riordan in the chb chronicles (i am not counting all the other gods, goddesses, minor deities and other figures of greco-roman myth). he was the trailblazer. his story didn't end in tragedy, but he found friendship and love and family, which in this age of upsetting "bury your gays" media is still quite hopeful to read!!
nico has a sunshine bf who would literally walk through hell with him!! i'm not kidding. this actually happened. i'm sure he's definitely cheering from the sidelines somewhere... please do not let will solace down!!
did i mention nico's the son of hades, god of the underworld?? this means his powers include, but are not limited to, being able to communicate with spirits via mcdonalds happy meals, wielding a sword that rends souls asunder, turning people into ghosts, re-animating skeletons, shadow traveling and being able to read other people's death auras.
these powers and his terrifyingly grumpy personality (in earlier books) have created a reputation famous among the demigods and deities. also he literally summons an entire skeleton army and rises from the fucking underworld with his father, stepmother and step-grandmother (all gods) (how does this work) in tow, inspiring FEAR and PANIC among the enemy lines.
and if that's not enough, he's friends with lizard people, his signature items of clothing are a BIG AVIATOR JACKET + SKULL RING = VERY GOOD CHARACTER DESIGN and his hair canonically smells like rain on stone. just so you know
VOTE NICO VOTE NICO VOTE NICO !!!!!!!!!!!"
49 notes · View notes
secretlythepits · 7 months ago
Text
The Bigger Person
I was writing my frustrations in my journal yesterday and saw how ridiculous they would seem to someone outside of my head. My 16 year old has picked arguments with me for 5 days in a row, stupid arguments when I am being nice. How dare I ask him what time his basketball game is so I can support him! How dare I ask him what electives he would prefer when I meet with his school to change his schedule because he wants to drop out of a program he’s in. Stuff like that. He is a Taurus and argumentative by nature. We go through these spats every few months, but right now I don’t have the bandwidth. He doesn’t understand the gravity of his dad’s cancer yet, but I do and that stress has me on edge. I get that he’s in puberty, but I’m in perimenopause (which is literally 20 x worse than puberty, pms, pregnancy, and postpartum combined). What I wrote was:
Why do I have to be the bigger person?
I have begged him to stop initiating these petty arguments, because it takes a lot of energy for me to deal with them or even ignore them, but he just gives me the self-centered teen attitude of not caring in return. Drives me crazy!
Why do I have to be the bigger person?
Because I am the mom. Because I am the adult. Because he is going through puberty. Because he probably has feelings and fears about his dad that he isn’t able to express yet.
But what about me?
Then my husband comes home to discuss a home improvement project with me. I stop what I’m doing and give him my full attention. I say some innocuous thought and he jumps down my throat. Apparently I didn’t follow a script in his head about this discussion. I mentioned something he thinks is irrelevant—how dare I? It was very black and white with him being completely unreasonable and rude and me being nice and innocent. I usually wouldn’t say that and am good at accountability, but this was a case of misplaced anger. He did not enjoy me pointing out that possibility.
Why do I have to be the bigger person?
Because he has stage 4 cancer, of course.
Later I thought about how he gets fixated and angry about things that used to roll off his back. I thought about how he sometimes doesn’t follow a logical path. I thought about how he can be so surly these days. Is it old age? Is it stress coming out sideways? (But is seems like something else.) Is it a symptom of his spinal lesion?
That last thought is new frightening, but also fills me with compassion because of all the people in the world, I understand how excruciating it is when your brain feels hijacked and you’re unable to see the world the way everyone else does.
So, suck it up, buttercup. Be the bigger person!
Except—
Isn’t this always what happens to women? Isn’t there always a myriad of very good reasons other people have to justify their splattering their inner turmoil all over everyone else, but never a time when a woman get to peace out because they have been pushed beyond their limits? Aren’t we always expected to be the bigger person? Doesn’t that, in some way, make us smaller?
I resent the hell out of this.
But I can’t say that out loud because then I’m what? A monster covered in other people’s vomit?
14 notes · View notes
colossal-red · 1 year ago
Text
Crafty Fox
TW: A smidgen of fear, overall tame I believe
WC: 670-ish maybe
—————————————————————
Day #1
Date: November 16th
Charlie told me before leaving the last house that making something called a ‘Journal’ might be a good distraction for me as I move onto my next house… personally I don’t see the appeal but I don’t have much else to do in between staying alive. He gave me this leather-bound book that had some pretty good craftsmanship, never would have expected that of the joker.
Anyway... today was a new day, for a new start.
After a treacherous journey of stowing away in a human car, as they call it, I eventually found myself in a new house… it seems simple enough, one bedroom, kitchen, living room, two bathrooms, and an attic that didn’t seem very lived in… perhaps this human had moved in recently, it doesn’t matter to me…
I need to be careful this time… if I’m seen I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it too a new home. I’ve been working on something that might allow me to traverse the house with ease… but that’s a pretty big might hehe…
I’d stick around and write more, imaginary audience… but I really need to get a layout of the house.
Til later, I guess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shit shit shit shit.
The human came back suddenly, they’d left the house earlier presumably to do some shopping and now they’re here… I’ve huddled down in a cabinet… but I haven’t a clue how long this hiding spot will last…
He seems to be busy thankfully… not checking this cabinet… sadly there wasn’t anything good in this place. Only a strangely sugary cube thing… it’s soft and squishy, maybe it’d make a good pillow of some kind… if it doesn’t get too sticky…
Fuck it got a sticky mess in my fur, great.
Update once I think it’s safe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alright I’ve settled down again.
I’m back in the attic, these vents are surprisingly easy to navigate through… I’ve found myself a nice cardboard box I could set up in, and have taken the sticky cube back up… I’ve seen a few of these before but they’re hard to get, they don’t exactly get left out.
Anyway, the kitchen… it’s a basic kitchen, a fridge set up next to three counters with an Island in the middle; Not to mention the microwave resting on the counter farthest from the fridge and the stove beside that on the other wall.
Below I’ll draw a picture for… myself, jeez you’d think I was going crazy with thinking anyone other than myself would read this.
Tumblr media
Tomorrow I’m going to check out the humans bedroom… I don’t think I’ll be spending that much time there but it’s still important. Maybe I can borrow some of the fabric from that sweater of his to make a blanket… I get the feeling this winter is going to be cold as fuck.
Besides with how bright that yellow is he kinda deserves to get a hole in it y’know?
It’s hard to keep my eyes open… so I’m going to end this off with a checklist for tomorrow, good night Fundy.
P.S. oddly comforting to read my own name being spoken good night too… anyway.
———————————————————————
Authors Note: Andddd Cut!
Heya everyone!
Colossal-Red here, it’s… been a while to say the least XD
I’m sorry for having been on hiatus recently, and I know y’all have probably been wanting new content for my au’s…
Sadly I still don’t have all that much time to write, I really really really wanted to write something though so I mustered up the time to write this short journal entry :3
However with the lil amount of time I might have to continue this series… I won’t be able to complete or continue any of the other au’s, such as SRBF, TinyHunt, Tubbee, The Mark, Etc…
I do hope to return to those au’s at some point… but as of now it’d be impossible.
So… I can only hope this post will satisfy y’all’s hunger for some of my writing if anyone missed me xd
Until tomorrow… maybe.
Also- @kayla-crazy-stuffs @poprockpanda @brick-a-doodle-do tell the rest of the family like Squishy as well cuz I can’t find their @ xd
17 notes · View notes
weiner-enjoyer · 1 year ago
Text
ofmd s2 literary analysis, mostly so i dont die of gay disease. obviously, spoilers for our flag means death season 2
okay so im going to start with the gravy basket because.???? there has to be some kind of metaphor im missing. but regardless, most of it was pretty up front. ed hates himself, he chooses to live, he changes. but theres some smaller details i find important. for one, he’s under the immediate impression that he hates hornighost, but hornighost feeds him and takes care of him anyway. he helps him. if hornighost is ed, then we can assume that ed is taking this time to take care of himself - with or without anyone else’s help. was he doing a great job at it? not at all. but he displays this self help when he establishes his boundaries with stede. not to mention, death is a huge main theme in this series. obviously he didn’t die, but he had a choice to. he was faced with “fix your problems, or die.” and he chose to fix them; he chose change, but change of his own accord, not death’s. he has control.
i also want to talk about ed saying “you’re not a fucking mermaid”. which seems really obvious, and it is. but the whole mermaid vision was to show that stede is here, whether he likes it or not. and whether he likes it or not, he takes that help. and it helps him. but he’s just started this whole self help journey, and he doesn’t want to accept he’s not strong enough to do it himself. so he’s telling stede to back tf off. and also obviously their divorce or wtv
okay so the bunny. ed is confiding in this random ass bunny. the bunny stays put, but it is also quite visibly shaking. ed has control now, but he isn’t ready to deal with the feedback he would get from a person. humans are unpredictable, and they aren’t always good at receiving emotions. ed also doesn’t want to use feedback to get better, because he’s so convinced he’s always right (or he chooses to think that to avoid how he absolutely knows he’s wrong.) and so theres this bunny. and then the bunny fucking dies, and then he eats that bunny. which is crazy, but he immediately talks to stede after eating it. he lost a safe zone, and then he got out of his safe zone and fixed a problem; the main reason he chose to live
and then theres the lesbians (i forgot their names, im so sorry). love those guys, my favorite plot device so far. this one is pretty obvious as well. but they’re just so immature. like. oh my god. and it’s fun at first. at first, both stede and ed love them, but both of them realize how unstable it is. they’re not even afraid to become that, because they know they’re better than that. but. there’s a but. the lesbian’s way of life was easy. if you don’t have to deal with the problems, you can live and die childish, probably from gangrene after your girlfriend stabbed you. and stede and ed immediate relate themselves to the lesbians, and then they completely defy that relation by doing the mature thing. i kinda forgot to say this, but the lesbians are a symbol of ed’s past life too. they act like how ed acts when he meets his old pirate friends; immature and reckless. when ed leaves that scene, he leaves that part of him behind.
okay so then we have the robes. im almost done, i promise. the robes are fancy. the robes are rich. the robes are cursed. they protect stede in every way except that everyone around him fears the robe. the robes are super cash money. unfortunately, stede no longer likes being cash cash money bags, so he gets rid of the suit. most of it. because he really does wear fine things well. but the robes are a past life for stede, and he willingly gets rid of them. he’s not even that mad about it. the same can be said for the lesbians; when stede leaves the robes, he leaves that part of him behind. he does it for his shipmates, but it helps him too
okay okay okay now izzy. so it’s less an analysis and more of a question. of course, izzy has been suffering a lot. like a lot. and he deserves that. wholeheartedly. he was doing relatively well with the suffering too, at first, and then he decided “fuck all that. im going to get drunk off my ass and pretend that ed didnt almost kill me, because i’m too immature.” this behavior is not healthy and im almost positive he’ll eventually come back to hating ed and try to kill him. but even with all of this, how is he going to do as a captain? we now have two other former captains on board, albeit fairly weak captains, but they pose a threat to izzy’s power. and probably his emotional state. is he going to govern the ship like before, or is he going to be emotional like he was in the beginning? he had to have learned that it could get him betrayed, but he seems intelligent in the robe situation
i hope this makes sense
15 notes · View notes
imtooscaredforthis · 2 years ago
Text
Entrapment
Chapter Seventeen: Interview
Tumblr media
Mentions of: Survivor’s Guilt, Sleep Deprivation. Murder, Paranoia, and lots of Anger
A/N: Yeah, our dear reader isn’t very happy…
Tags: @mama-miya @vandeaad @the-fandoms-georgie @moonshineinasippycup @froegis
You’ve barely slept since what happened at Mama Lucy’s. Too guilty and scared to do so. Every time you shut your eyes, you saw all the blood and their bodies…and their faces. You had nightmares of Jesse calling out to you, begging and asking you, why, why, did you do this?
It’s your fault, after all. You hung up on him. If you hadn’t done so, maybe they would be alive tonight. Maybe it would be you dead instead of them. Maybe Jesse could’ve graduated and made his parents proud and maybe Lucia could’ve raised Nate until he was old enough to be on his own, rather than having to bury her at such a young age.
Ghostface hasn’t called you since then, but every time you hear the phone ring, you jump and run over to answer it. You saw what happened when you didn’t, and you don’t want anymore of your friends getting hurt.
But then, there was also a small voice in the back of your head. The one that pushed you, that drove you. Your ambition.
It told you it’s not your fault. He would’ve killed them anyways, he just wanted to torture you. To get under your skin and make you break under guilt and fear. But you’re not going to let him see you break. You’re going to achieve your dreams, get the hell out of Roseville and go to Miami, but first, you’re going to make him pay.
And while you felt guilty for thinking such horrible thoughts about Jesse and Lucy, for being so selfish, you also feel thankful. Your ambition and grit is one of the few things that kept you going, and it kept you from breaking down completely, no matter how much what happened at Lucy’s had destroyed you.
It was the only thing to get you out of bed, when you were called into work just five days after what happened. Two of those days were from the weekend, so in reality, you only got three days off. Even though you just witnessed a double homicide.
You can’t say that you’re surprised though. Jamison is awfully stingy and you’re just a temp. You have horrible benefits.
So, you managed to go to work that morning and keep it together…mostly. Despite trying to cover it up with makeup, the dark rings around your eyes were still visible, and your clothes and hair were slightly ruffled from putting everything on in a rush.
The moment you walked inside, you could feel eyes on you. Everyone was staring, and you could even hear people murmuring about you, acting like you weren’t there.
Taking a breath, you ignored it, heading over to the breakroom to grab some coffee. You could use some coffee after yet another sleepless night. As you entered the breakroom, you spotted Jed and Rachel standing there.
“Hi guys.” You greeted, ignoring their stares. You focused on the coffee maker instead, pressing a few buttons and putting your mug underneath.
“_______, are you okay? We didn’t expect you to be back so soon.” Rachel admitted, heavy concern in her voice.
“I’m managing. I already have enough stuff going on right now, and the last thing I need is to be fired.” You told them, taking a sip from your coffee.
Working would be a welcome distraction from all the shit going on in your head. If you spent one more day home alone, you’d probably drive yourself crazy, if you hadn’t already.
“______, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry about what happened. And there’s no pressure to this, but Rachel and I would like to do an interview-”
“Jed!“ Rachel snapped, shutting him up. “Now’s not the time.”
“No, it’s fine. I’d like to talk about it, actually.” You told her. She seemed surprised at that. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I think talking about it could helpt.” You shrugged.
“Okay. I just….I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it. So, I’m sorry, but I think you’ll have to do the interview with Jed for now.” She confessed, before walking out.
You watched as she left before looking back at Jed. She seemed more shaken up about this than you were. “Is she okay?”
“I think so. She’s just upset because she was pretty close with Lucia. Apparently, they went to High school together.” He told you.
You felt some guilt pang inside of you, biting the inside of your cheek. Just another consequence of your stupid selfish actions.
“We don’t have to do this today. I’m sorry, you just got back and I saw an opportunity and got ahead of myself. It was inconsiderate, and we can wait for as long as you need-”
“No, no, I’m okay. I want to do this. I need to.” You reassured him.
“Whatever you say. I’ll go get the conference room set up.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jed asked for what felt like the hundredth time. “Yes, I told you, I’m fine.”
“Okay, I was just making sure. If you want to stop or feel uncomfortable or anything, just say the word and we’ll stop, okay?” You nodded at his words.
“Alright, you ready?”
“Ready.” With that, Jed pressed play on the recorder, starting the tape. “So, tell me about that night.”
“Well, It seemed pretty normal at first and I was going in for my shift, like any other night. But then I started noticing things. The closed sign was flipped even though it was way too early, and the restaurant seemed like it was half cleaned. I called out to see if anyone was there but no one said anything. It was like the place was just abandoned. But then, I walked into the kitchen and I saw- I saw-”
You felt yourself get choked up, the words lodged in your throat. “What did you see?”
“I saw the blood. There was so much blood and the scent of it..it made me sick. And then I saw Lucia, dead, on the floor. She had been stabbed repeatedly, and she wasn’t moving. Then I heard a groaning and gurgling sound, and it was Jesse. His throat was being slit, and I watched as he died, watched the life drain from his eyes, and I saw him do it.”
Jed took notes rapidly, keeping up with your words with ease. He adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat. “Who’s him?”
“Ghostface. It was Ghostface. It was dark so I couldn’t see him. All I saw was the mask, and the glint of his knife. I was frozen and in shock. I just stood in place and watched it as it happened, taking it all in. I was scared at how easily he could kill. How a human could do it with little to no emotion. He did it so easily it was like muscle memory and he- he enjoyed it. I just- I don’t know. The next thing I knew, he was gone. I found Nate, he was hurt pretty bad, and was bleeding a lot, but he was alive, and that’s all that mattered. I called 911 and they rushed him to the hospital, and, yeah.”
“Did he say anything to you?” You shook your head. “It was like he disappeared into thin air. One second he was there, the next he was gone.”
“And how do you feel about losing these people that you were close with? About him taking them from you?”
“I feel horrible. Jesse and Lucia were such kind people and they were like family to me. They didn't deserve that. No one does. But I’m grateful to be alive, too. And I’m also…I’m also mad. Clearly, if a killer could get away with something like this, then the police aren’t doing enough. They need to do more, enforce the curfew, patrol around areas where he’s been. Make some sort of effort to find out who’s doing this. Honestly, I have little faith in them. And if they won’t do something about this- then- then I will. I’ll find out who this murderer is, and I’ll catch him and make sure that bastard gets the electric chair.”
Jed stopped the tape, staring at you. Yeah, you may have gotten a bit too carried away and let a bit too much anger out.
You took a couple deep breaths, calming yourself. “Sorry, was that too much?”
“No, it was perfect.”
46 notes · View notes