#seeking. something. always

[technically-human]

i loved seeing the moment of stone realising he was going to stick with robotnik (─‿‿─) could we see the moment ROBOTNIK realises stone is here for good?

Robotnik isn't used to people being happy to see him

[just-null]

Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!

Mentioning an unfamiliar name

yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..

I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.

[liloslittlethings]

louis finding liam to give him a hug

(via Honda Civic Commercial behind the scenes part 1)

[feroluce]

There were a ton of parts I loved about 3.3, but this one became a strong favorite, even for how brief it was 💕

When you find Caenis after the sky begins to burn, you have the choice to Choose Violence

Hyacine was a good girl who taught me the value of forgiveness. But unfortunately I am an awful student *cocks gun* ajfkdlsjafkldj

Which I was already so pleased that that was an option, but then! If you actually pick it!

PHAINON AND THE TRAILBLAZER LITERALLY LOOK TO DAN HENG FOR PERMISSION TO KILL EKSJJSKWJE

There is no discussion of this beforehand! No warning! No "what if we run into Caenis later," none of that! Phainon and the trailblazer are just that much in sync!

And there is something so hilarious and adorable in that, that Phainon has been getting buddy-buddy with the trailblazer ever since they met, and he watched them and how they defer to Dan Heng, and just decided like oh, ok! me too!! :D

And Dan Heng! He really just saw the way Phainon and the trailblazer run around together, and realized oh god there's two of them now. Like he really just adopted Phainon as Dumbass #3 and rolled with it. Phainon came up and happily handed Dan Heng the other end of his leash and Dan Heng just sighed and took it. How dare these three be so cute. 💕

(And then Dan Heng didn't even tell them no! He just told them not right now! I love him when he's greenlighting violence smshksjsjd)

[messiahzzz]

it’s been almost a year now… is the bg3 fandom finally ready to talk about how gale’s “hubris” is the sole product of actively feeding his insecurities further and straight up denying him help & guidance when he was at his lowest and needed it most. it’s not one of his core traits and never was. he isn’t some closeted power hungry monster that is just waiting to be enabled. what he wants is admiration, recognition and acceptance. which is also what he sought from mystra before the orb disaster happened. he had no desire whatsoever to become a god himself or challenge her rule, he simply wanted to be seen as sufficient in her eyes (“to serve her better”). to be as equal as he could possibly be in a relationship with a literal deity. he has a deep passion for magic and knowledge that affects almost all areas of his life and enjoys the display thereof. he wants to be the smartest person in the room and enjoys when his work is recognized. he may be perceived as arrogant when it comes to his skill, but he IS NOT hubristic. it truly takes so little for him to be wholly content.

[pali-and-proud]

Every character in Cb is actually experiencing such profound levels of loneliness and isolation but for completely different reasons. It might be all your friends preparing for college and excitedly planning out trips and discussing majors, and it might be struggling with befriending kids your age, and it might be with feeling ignored and unseen with your own parents, and it might be with your wife's passing, and it might be being isolated from your siblings and unsure how to reconnect, and it might be being hospital-bound and away from your son, and it might be whatever tf is happening with the goth one. punko oh punko you and your ability to make me want to hug every person you draw

[s0fter-sin]

still thinking about gaz doing ghost’s skincare

even when they’re on base and the worst of the all-encompassing exhaustion is held at bay, he knows ghost doesn’t have the energy to spare to do any kind of in depth routine; knows as much as it makes him feel good to feel soft and clean and cared for, he won’t be able to keep up with it by himself

gaz just didn't expect how good it would feel to do it for him

how accomplished he'd feel when he figured out the right combination of products to soothe ghost's sensitive neglected skin without him breaking out or getting even more dehydrated, the best moisturiser for his scars, researching no-wash products so he doesn't have to get up once they've started; all ghost has to do is lay back and let gaz work

it's an honour, not only to be trusted enough with ghost's - with simon's - face but also to watch him lose every ounce of tension in his body

they usually - and how amazing that they have a usual, that this has become a routine - end up with ghost's head in his lap, a soft pillow beneath his head so he can just rest. it's not uncommon for him to fall asleep entirely as gaz follows his steps

bottles of cleansers and serums and moisturisers all bought just for him, each one dutifully researched with ghost's skin type in mind, all stored in a black leather bag moulded into a skull bc gaz found it browsing one day and thought it was too perfect. ghost doesn't even know what they all do, just knows how blissful it is to feel the gentle pressure of gaz's fingers massaging his face; following the contours of scars that haven't pulled or flared since they started doing this

gaz never tells him about the rollers he could use instead, the applicators that are technically better for his skin bc it would mean he'd know that gaz uses his hands just for him; that he can feel how much he craves his touch and knows he enjoys it just as much, if not more than the actual results

gaz just tells him that a thorough massage after everything is applied is necessary for all the products to marry up and sink properly into his skin and spends the next half hour smiling down at his superior as he lets go of all his pain and trusts him to keep him afloat

[chawliekin]

and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…

[charleemoon]

thinking about abigail's propensity for manipulation, but rather than it being inherent the way hannibal wanted it to be, it was learned. abigail manipulated the people around her because that was all she knew how to do. every social interaction she had was luring, under the guise of her father. a man who would kill every beautiful brown haired girl that's walked this earth to feel a fleeting sense of control. to stop his little girl from growing up. love was always cruel, and so she is cruel too. home was a slaughterhouse, and you'll make yourself meek enough to not be killed. carry the knife so it won't be used cut your throat. anything to survive

and it comes with an ugliness, and a joy. to live beyond, to come out stronger. killing out of necessity. you feel dirty in that revel. you want to be understood in it. you want to feel freed.

"killing somebody, even if you have to do it, it feels that bad?"

"its the ugliest thing in the world."

will has the capacity to understand her, but can only see the innocent parts of himself in her. he refuses her that peace, that companionship. he fears himself in her, and wants to bestow, maintain her false purity. he wants to believe in the guilty thing she portrays herself as, the same way he wants to believe his own innocence. he knows they're both lying, but he can't stomach it. can't bear to get to know her the way he denies himself his truth

hannibal sees her capacity for darkness and wishes to foster it, the same as will. in his need for connection, his desire to be seen, he disregards her guilt. she guts boyle because she is scared, because it is all she knows how to do. abigail survives, hannibal thrives. they want for different things, but have known the world's endless cruelty all the same.

abigail sees fragments of hobbs in them both, and seeks the worst parts of him in their love. hannibal, his control, his violence, his beauty and touch. blood on her hands as she pants, waiting for him to tell her what to do. something that feels tender, safe, yet horrifyingly close to death. knowing your father is your creator, and one day will destroy you. laying too close to the head of the beast, because it feels kind, knowing he has not bitten down. knowing he wants to, but whatever it is you mean to him keeps you alive. it's almost like love

will, the guise of a loving hand. the father who kissed her head, who took her hunting, who made her breakfast. the man hobbs wanted to be, to preserve himself as. and more importantly, preserving her. a daughter, an idol of goodness that cannot grow or change, cannot be ruined or soiled. especially not by his own darkness. he fears killing her, he fears losing her more. he is angered by her betrayals, frightened by his need to keep her. he's loving right up until the moment he wasn't.

if hannibal's the father that cuts her throat, will is the one who holds it until she dies. she is understood by neither

[unpretty]

I’m really in to predator/prey, especially if the prey is a virgin, but I hate when the prey is like barely legal or doesn’t know what sex is in the first place. Makes it feel kinda scummy. It borders on to ddlg which isn’t personally my thing. I think my specific fantasy would be smart, capable prey (who just happens to be a virgin) trying to escape from their predator who wants them BADLY and is willing to do whatever it takes to get the pounce on them, whether it’s by manipulation or outsmarting them. Basically what if the end goal of Carmen Sandiego was finding her so that you could have sex. As you can see this is a very specific kink which I’ve only found 2 fics that are in this wheelbarrow, one being a transformers fic and because of that I’m now sort of into wireplay but that’s a whole other bag of cats entirely.

i feel like the virginity has to be what makes this so specific but then again i don't know enough about primal predator/prey stuff to know if youthful innocence is usually a part of it

[ptieuca]

[pokimoko]

haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by

[speedlimit15]

keep seeing posts from both americans and europeans suggesting that they personally are less susceptible to cult ideology than The Average American and its just like. You realize this mindset is specifically part of what makes you vulnerable right. Also that post comparing being in a cult to using meth is maybe the worst analogy you could possibly construct and any arguments contained within it are completely useless because the way people encounter and become addicted to and continue to use drugs works fundamentally differently than the way people encounter and are inducted into cults. You silly geese

[burningcheese-merchant]

I notice that you give Shadowspice alot of shit because of how it's based off of shallow fujoshi stereotypes and how they would be miserable with eachother if you regarded there canon personalities (which is lowkey valid), but that makes me surprised you like burningcheese because you do remember that burning spice tore off cheesy's wings, threw her off a cliff, kept her wounded in a prison for sadisms sake and threated to destroy all she ever treasured before the queen turned the tables and have him his rightful beating.

Most burningcheese fanart I have seen depicts burning spice as hulking and towering and smiling down at golden cheese freaking as if that isn't basic straight ship stuff, I'm not going to cry about "abuser x victim" or how your a "proshipper" but a decent chunk of the Fandom portrayal of burningcheese ignores golden cheese's dominance and how powerful she is and I'm invested in how you think golden cheese will get romantic with the dude who tried to take everything from her with sadistic glee, all of that aside have a good day.

Turned out long as fuck lol my bad

Gonna start by saying I appreciate you being polite/civil. Ngl I started reading the first sentence and immediately assumed it was a ShadowSp1ce fan come to start shit or something lol. I'm glad that's not the case. As unhappy as that ship makes me, I'm really not out to get anyone who likes it. You do you, it's not my business. I mean it when I say I'd rather never speak of ShadowSp1ce again if I don't have to. I'm a happier person without it in my thoughts. Again I ask "where is the memory gun from Gravity Falls when you need it" lmao

To address your other concerns. No I did not forget what Burning Spice did to Golden Cheese lol. That's a pretty important scene in the story, I don't really have a say in the matter. But really, what he did is just what villains do. It's horrible, but not out of the ordinary for someone like that. It shouldn't be downplayed or dismissed but I also don't think it needs to be blown as far out of proportion as I've seen so many do. Video game villain. There are far worse ones than Burning Spice, who have done far worse things. Promise.

Maybe it's just my luck, but I've never really seen anyone portray BurningCheese the way you describe. Not on here, at least. I just see Burning Spice simping really hard for the golden goddess and smiling when she steps on him lol. Or them just being genuinely happy together. Plenty of angst, sure. But nothing I would really say is out of character (that I recall off the top of my head). I don't doubt that such shallow, stereotypical portrayals exist, and I lament that they do. I myself don't subscribe to that. Yes, he hurt her, but she doesn't take it (or anything he says or does) lying down. She gets up and fights back. And that's what he loves about her most of all. She fights back. To make her the meek, doe-eyed little church mouse secretary to Spice's domineering CEO or whatever the fuck in service of some puddle-deep hetero-flavored gooner shit à la 50 Shades is boring and flanderization. Burning Spice is tough but so is Golden Cheese. They are equals in every way. Let them kick each other's asses. Spice would never love a person who couldn't stand up to him anyway. Who isn't strong, physically and mentally. Which is what she is and always should be.

But my MAIN canon. The canon I operate on. The one my little fankid critters exist in. THAT romance goes like this:

As for how I ascribe romance to them... Let me start by saying that I ship them in multiple ways, through multiple lenses. I ship BurningCheese where it's a toxic one-sided crush/obsession on Spice's part (and his behavior is condemned ofc), because exploring that kind of darkness within a fictional setting is interesting to me. I ship BurningCheese where Golden Cheese gives in to despair, same as Burning Spice once did, and corrupts, and they become a villain couple (got a big fic in mind for that lol. That will be fun to write eventually). In a similar vein to that is the AU I've been playing around with on here where Spice is basically her pet serial killer and brings her severed heads and other things as tokens of affection (he is absolutely fucking deranged in this AU), and because she herself is... kind of a broken person in this story, she starts responding to these attempts to stroke her ego and win her favor, leading her down a rabbit hole of guilt and shame and denial and unhealthy attachment, where she eventually ends up as insane for him as he is for her (I know it sounds crazy, but... it's fun in a dark and disturbing way lol). I ship BurningCheese in that time travel AU (that I'm still cooking btw! That will be real fic! I'm working on it with a friend of mine!) where Golden meets Spice while he's still the Herald of Change, with all of the trials and tribulations that brings. I ship BurningCheese as a standard forbidden love affair, where she's good and he's bad and neither is willing to change for the other, but are willing to set aside those differences to be together, even if only for a time and away from prying eyes and judgment. I like them all sorts of ways, because I just like them, you know? I like how they click. How they complement and contrast with each other. They're both very alike and very different. They have a lot to give each other and a lot they can do together. And they're soulmates, that's canon, they are canon (at least in some way), whether anyone likes it or not. So I win no matter what lol

Slow burn. Very, very slow. Post-canon, after Dark Enchantress has already been defeated and order restored to the world. There's nothing left for the Beasts to really do anymore, Burning Spice included (they are not resealed in my canon, they all remain free indefinitely). They can't go out and cause chaos without their Ancients coming and curbstomping them immediately. But... Burning Spice likes that Golden Cheese does that, so he manages to forge an agreement: if she indulges him and spars with him a few times a month, he'll stay out of trouble. And she agrees, for everyone else's sake. She certainly doesn't want to be around him any longer than she has to.

They grow a little closer through these fights of theirs, albeit unwillingly on Golden's part. They bicker and banter while they exchange blows, and afterwards while they tend to their own wounds. Do you really have a choice, when you end up stuck with someone in such a way?

Burning Spice is in love with her. Always has been. But his love is selfish, toxic. He's more attached to his idea of her than the real her, because he doesn't truly know her, despite his insistance plus their soul bond. Golden Cheese hates him and considers him a menace to society, and indulges his whims purely to protect and serve the public. So long as he's focused on her, he can't hurt anyone else.

He hits on her all the time. She rebuffs him all the time. He doesn't necessarily mind; as much as he'd love it if she returned his feelings, he's content with her refusal as well. He likes her bite, her wit, her anger. And he has her, at least in some way. Has her attention. Has their battles. That's enough for him

Slow burn redemption arc on top of the romance. Really, Burning Spice's redemption is mostly an accident. Golden Cheese wasn't trying to fix him (at first) and he was never looking to be fixed. They both believed he was damned and he didn't care, and that was that. And it really was, for a while. But eventually, gradually, he started to... mellow out. Enough that he started becoming a little more approachable, in her estimation. Thus they grow closer still, which in turn makes him mellow out more.

He starts opening up a little bit, here and there. Bits and pieces about himself. His past. General personality things. She does the same in turn. She starts to recognize him as more than just a heartless monster. He starts to acknowledge things he'd otherwise leave buried forever. There's some sort of trust and understanding forming.

Spice gains a measure of clarity. Not quite remorse, but... regret? Is it regret? Is he really able to say he regrets anything about his life? Has he gotten that soft? That pathetic?

... He regrets how he treated her. That much comes to be true. And he apologizes to her. It's not much, he's no good at apologies, but he's at least sincere. It's shocking to her. She takes it to heart, despite not really forgiving him (she will not do so for a long time still). It marks a little turning point in their relationship.

She lets him into her life and world a bit more. She relaxes a bit more around him and vice versa. They're not even so strict about their scheduled duels anymore; sometimes he comes by just because he wants to see her, and she obliges. He's still an asshole but less of one. She's still begrudging but less so. It's clear something has begun to change within him. She's not sure what it is, but it's there. And it's... meaningful, at least to her. Because she never thought she'd see it

Don't want to get too deep into it because I want to talk abt it more later. But there's at least one suicide attempt by Spice bc he's gotten really depressed (more than he already was) and Golden stops him, and in doing so realizes that she's come to genuinely care about him as a person and doesn't want him gone, even despite his misdeeds. Another big turning point, especially on her part

They become genuine friends. Bit of a weird friendship, he's still a bad guy, but even so. She's honest about enjoying his company. She talks to him like she does everyone else. And he likes it. He likes that she's so casual now. That they're so used to each other now. It's pleasant

The more he spends time with her and gets to know her, the deeper in love he falls. But no longer is it that corrosive sentiment it once was. With time, it evolves into a healthy affection and respect for her. He's still smitten as always and forever, but in a more normal way lol

The more time she spends with him and gets to know him, the more she comes to see that... He's really not so bad, underneath all of his... issues. He's intelligent. Thoughtful. Creative, even (ironic). He's very handsome. He makes her laugh. He keeps her on her toes. He's not so different from her, in some ways. With all of that, and what he's willingly revealed to her about his life, she believes that... he can be fixed. He can get better. Somewhere within the dark chasm of his soul is man with some worth. There's something worth salvaging inside of him. One little ray of light, flickering in the dark. He can change, if he wants to. She truly believes that now.

So she starts making an effort to help him along. Starts pushing for him to interact with others. Do good deeds. Participate in society, in life. He tries to push back but ultimately gives in, if only to appease her. She's the only person he tolerates still, everyone else can keel over and die for all he cares. Just because he's not actively hurting anyone doesn't mean he cares about them.

But... it works, little by little. This war of attrition she wages. Of course she can't force him to change; he has to want that for himself. But she can at least show him the merit in doing so. And she does. Slowly, begrudgingly, he starts to actually talk to people. Hang around them. Do things of his own accord, not just to make her happy. He does not say so, but he's learning to enjoy and appreciate life again

That's when she falls for him. It was already in motion for a while, but it's watching him improve and become more of the man she thinks exists deep down inside that does her in for good. Of course she's embarrassed. She grapples with the moral implications. But in the end, she can't help herself. He's charmed her. He won.

They're happy together. They marry. He is gladly accepted by the GCK as their king, for they have embraced him by then. They have those two kiddos. He's forged new, genuine friendships with the other Ancients plus a few other people, and rebuilt the old ones he had with the other Beasts. He's... not a hero, no. He never will be again. But he's abandoned his evil ways. He's made peace with himself. He's been reintegrated into society. He's happy. They're happy.

No one approves of them besides Pure Vanilla. Throughout all of this, Spice has been regarded with fear, hatred and suspicion. (He doesn't really care much, to hell with what others think of him.) Though he's improved and some have relaxed around him, for many it's not enough, her friends included. They worry for her safety, for her sanity. She vouches for him, his character and their relationship. Only PV is on her side from the start; he's overjoyed for her, for him, for them. He's happy he's changed, as PV always hoped all the Beasts would. He wishes them well. He hopes for a similar happy future for himself and Shadow Milk. Everyone else comes around eventually, some sooner than others. (Smoked Cheese excluded. They will never be cool)

It's important to note that I came up with this for them because I enjoy exploring morality and redemption and forgiveness, and what that might look like for certain characters. Even if he's become a better man, does Burning Spice really deserve the happy ending he got? Does it undo anything he did? Does a man like that really deserve forgiveness?

The way Burning Spice would answer those questions is... no. No, he doesn't. He's done too much. The blood on his hands will never wash out. Golden Cheese can only forgive him for what he did to her specifically, not for what he did to the world. And he knows he isn't worthy either way. Should he ever die... well, he's certainly not going to Heaven, that's for sure. So he makes peace with it the best he can and just tries to be better. He can't change the past. All he can do is try to make it a decent present. He's not perfect, no. There are some things you'll never get back after living such a cursed life. The Herald of Change is long gone; perhaps he never truly existed in the first place. He can only be Burning Spice, with the weight of all his sins bearing down on his shoulders, and try. Try to do better. For his wife. For his children. For his comrades. For his people. There's nothing else he CAN do. He can never truly fix what he did. He has to live with that forever. But he's still managed to find happiness even with it, and that makes it bearable. And it's all thanks to her, in the end. Her and the kids. They make it all worthwhile.

I'm sorry I wrote a Bible lol. And also probably derailed at least once. I just hope I answered your questions well enough. This is ultimately how Merchant thinks Golden Cheese will get romantic with Burning Spice. The end

[crystalpallette]

I still can't believe they killed him like that

[elodieunderglass]

Do you have more Moby Dick: Modern Translation chapters anywhere that certain interested parties (me and everyone with taste) could read?

In reference to this translation of Moby Dick into insufferable modern idiom, in which Ishmael is suddenly shown up in a startling light as a person we’ve actually met and knew well but didn’t really like:

I’m sorry, I haven’t written any more of that! After chapter 1’s mad rush of energy, the book tackles more tricky, boring and unfunny content, including passages that are just uncomfortably problematic in any time; and, like, entire chapters about listening to a church sermon.

A line translation (and that is mostly a very faithful line translation! The only thing I regret not doing was perfectly capturing the fart joke!) apparently has a lot of educational value, and helps to reframe the whole novel. That’s worthy work! But i simply wouldn’t want to do a line translation on the next few chapters. My brain is picking daisies instead, already. I would say: “sorry, I’m abridging this for my own mental health. You’re eligible for a free refund.” In which case the educational value is negligible (you can just read the plot summary online. There’s a really big whale in it.)

Anyone else who wants to take a stab at it (FROM HELL’S HEART) would be welcome and I’ll gladly promote your efforts. It’s just. I am going

🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼

- come here let me measure your head