#seeking emotions

[dxckgrxsonx]

Soft sleepy affectionate Jason Todd is good for the soul:

**

Just standing in the kitchen, half asleep in the early morning, sunlight catching the curve of your mouth on a yawn and a warm, thick pair of arms circling your waist from behind, a forehead pressed into your back.

There’s hardly any sound, the tick of a clock in the background, a soft little exhale into the back of your shirt. Fingers warm and sly sneaking up under your pyjamas in search of skin. Palms splayed over your tummy, a content mumble echoing in the space between sleep and awake; caught in a dream.

Leaning forwards into the counters edge to make a cup of something warm and sweet and being tugged back into place with a tired growl, no real choice other than settling into place and letting Jason hold you close, swaying slightly with how drowsy he is. A quiet, whining grumble of your name when you move again.

Hopping up on the kitchen counter and tugging him in close between your parted knees, his head tucking into the warm space where your shoulder meets your neck. Your fingers sweeping through his tangled hair, down his neck, across his shoulders. Feet locked at the ankle around his hips, not willing to let him pull out of reach.

Sliding back into bed with a warm drink and Jason clinging at your side, legs tangling together when he nudges yours apart with a knee. Playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and listening to him drop back off into sleep, a gentle, quiet slur of “I love you” the last coherent thing you get out of his mouth for the next few hours.

Just…Jason being soft and a little needy and feeling safe enough to trust you to lead whilst he slots into that tired space where you’re only half aware of what’s happening outside your partner being close and warm.

**

[zorosdimples]

when he knows you’ve been repressing your emotions for weeks, so he fucks you until you’re an inconsolable, sobbing mess. he wraps himself around you and rasps in your ear, telling you to let it all out, sweetness. take everything out on me.

[chanrizard]

DominATE World Tour ✧ SEOUL D-2 (240825) ending ment

© OVERHEAT915

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sorry for not having a Year of the Dragon MDZS artwork; Unfortunately, I can only picture Dragon LWJ in this particular flavour.

[rjshope]

RJ comforting rapline♡

[caelanglang]

The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai

[acearchivist359]

the way i knew something was up the second sam broke that door down and the audio immediately got clearer ….

up to that point i though it was muffled because whoever’s phone was in their pocket and we’d just skipped the usual dialling sound [i was too distracted by the whole mr bonzo situation to register the first tape recorder] but the second the door came down and the audio got clearer my first thought was there’s a tape recorder in there . and i can’t believe i was right what the fuck

[aprilblossomgirl]

If you don’t care, then I’ll be the one that does. We’re friends after all, right? Don’t you remember? Here. You know there are lots of holes on the moon's surface, right? Maybe…they are shelters for aliens to hide from danger.

23.5 องศาที่โลกเอียง (2024) Ep.05

[lavender-phoenix-flames]

If all Wens were actually evil, Jiang Cheng would have been dead.

[mauvearts]

Caranthir

<< 4 >>

[lorelei-system]

I hate how they demonized attention-seeking behavior, as if it somehow makes you bad to need attention, especially as a child.

I’ve had fantasies of bad things happening to me and those closest to me, and getting attention, pity, and love because of it, for most of my life. Is this normal? No. Does it mean I am a bad person who actually wants bad things to happen to the people I love? No. Does it make me self-absorbed to crave attention that badly? No.

There’s always a reason that people do things “just for attention”. And it is rarely what people think it is.

I grew up feeling so guilty for doing things for attention, and ended up not getting the attention and help I needed because of that guilt.

Self harm is a good example of something that is often said to be done “just for attention”. And you know what? Yes, I have hurt myself for attention. And nobody understood why I would do something like that to myself.

But when you are so desperate for someone to see you, to hear you, to help you, that you would literally die to get someone to show they care, it makes a lot more sense.

Let’s try to be more understanding about attention-seeking behavior. Let’s see it for what it is: a legitimate call for help. Not a sign of self-centeredness.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

howdy <3 also obligatory Wally being done™️ with barnaby & howdy flirting<3

[canisalbus]

have vasco & machete ever gotten into any big arguments?

.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[furiousgoldfish]

One thing that helped me to stop seeking for approval of others, was realizing how people utilize approval for their own benefit.

There isn't an all-approved system of who gets the approval, and who doesn't, according to all humanity; people are selective with their approval, and a lot of people will give you approval only and specifically if your actions benefit them personally. For instance, your neighbour will approve if you do chores for them, if you spend your time taking care of their needs, if you give them emotional support, and never ask for anything. Because that's their agenda, right, having others do things for them, in return for, well, possibly nothing. Most people will be approving if you're directly benefiting them, and disapprove if you do anything that inconveniences them, or clashes with their beliefs or traditions.

Some of conservative people save their approval only for those who fit the narrow definition of how they believe people should be; and there's not any space for diversity. You can't be openly mentally ill, or homosexual, or nonconforming to traditional roles of what people should be and do. Sometimes you also have to be a certain race and nationality, or even a certain gender to be approved of; it's not something you have any control over, not something you can do to deserve to be good enough in their eyes. And if you don't happen to fall into the small group of people who check those boxes, you better put your head down and shut up about anything you think or feel, because these people don't believe you should have a voice. So there's no sense in seeking their approval, they should be categorized as enemies. But sometimes these people are your parents, so you're naturally inclined to want their approval despite it being both bad for you, and unreachable.

Then there's also rigorously religious people, who save their approval only for the agenda of the religion; you can have the approval if you're following their religion in the way they feel is 'correct', or if you're willing to convert. Anything else, you're disapproved of, you're sorted into the box of 'sinners'. Sometimes these people are in a religious cult, and want you to join. Sometimes their judgment comes from what they've been taught by leaders who only had their own benefit in mind.

Predators will have endless approval for you, as long as you're willing to be violated by them whenever they feel like they can get away with it. Especially devastating for children who don't yet realize they're being violated at all, and who'll do anything for a bit of that approval.

I've met people who approved of me for the things I least liked about myself, and had the least control of; my politeness, my eagerness to fawn and please them, my fear of disappointing them, my silence when I wasn't feeling okay. I would be disapproved as soon as I tried to breach out; if I spoke out my feelings, disapproval, if I attempted to prioritize my own needs, disapproval. It's an easy way to control a person who is sensitive to rejection and perceives disapproval as rejection. It means causing pain to someone when they don't do as you wish.

And the thing is when you're abused and starved for approval, sometimes you're ready to fit other people's agenda just to get a little glimpse of it. You're ready to please people endlessly, maybe to join a religion or a political group, you're ready to believe their ideals, tolerate a predator or an abuser, because then they'll smile at you, tell you that you're doing good, praise you, make you feel like you belong for a second. Sometimes we're not even aware we're doing so much for just so little, and we're not aware that the ideals we're following are not in our benefit, are not something we should support at all. That we'll come out on the other side traumatized, with them not being affected at all, or caring about the mountains of effort and sacrifice we put into that relationship.

One thing that is almost never approved in society is being open about things people don't want to think about, or talk about. What happens in abusive families, what is done to children who are left alone with sadistic, manipulative adults who believe they have the right to hurt and control any child they had, how often are children exposed to pedophiles or even sexually abused by their own family members, what are the consequences of that for the child, what difficulties they face later in life. There's nothing bad in discussing this; in fact, having it out in the open gives people a chance to condemn child abuse, to turn against child abusers and predators, to predict where future abuse could occur and prevent it, to help children be more safe. But it's uncomfortable to accept the problem of abuse in their own community, so people will disapprove anyone even attempting it.

The system of approval is not universal, you'll have people approve and disapprove different things on you regardless of what you do and how you do it, but if you think about why they're doing it, it becomes clear what their agenda and intentions are. They're trying to build a world where they want to live in, (or keep up an illusion of it) and sometimes, it's not a world that you want to live in. These are not people who know how it is to be you, or how much it takes to live your life. They don't know or understand what you've been trough, they're looking at you only in the manner of how they could shape you to be what they want. Their approval is not for your own benefit. It's for theirs.

So you can do it to them too. You can decide what is good and what isn't, because you have an understanding of your own life, better than anyone else has, and you can see what in the world you want, and what your own agenda is. You can disapprove of people who try to stand in your way, or who would keep you in pain and silence just to have their illusions untouched. You can tell them you have no interest in helping their agenda because it only furthers the amount of suffering on earth.

And if they act like your opinion doesn't have a value, or you 'haven't lived long enough to have a correct opinion', then they'll never hold you on equal ground. Notice they never come up with that stuff when your opinion is the same as theirs, only when it differs, then you're not smart enough to speak. It's senseless to argue with people who look down on you for speaking out, without ever engaging with your argument, without being willing to see things from your perspective for even a second, especially after you've indulged with theirs. Them looking down on you doesn't mean you're wrong. It means they're not willing to hear you out.

Once you establish your own values and morals that you want to pursue, you can live your life according to them, and then you can approve of yourself. If you know what traits are important to you, and you have them, and you live according to them, you can evaluate yourself, and figure that you're okay. Other people can disagree, but without a significant insight in your life, your goals and your struggles, their opinions hold no weight. It's likely their disapproval comes from you not fitting perfectly into their agenda, rather than you failing at anything personally. You can decide you're good enough. Your evaluation is more important than theirs.

[mustbolt]

Casey and I are playing hide and seek, but you can't tell dad you saw us - or it'll ruin the game.