#making these made me very emotional

[rjshope]

RJ comforting rapline♡

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[chattematsu]

[4.0 archon quest spoilers]

[insertdisc5]

Um so I've been sitting on this ask for months cause I didn't want to bother you with how many messages you must get. And because it's difficult for me to be open about my experiences, but I'm working on that part thanks to you! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

For the first time in my 32 years of life I'm starting to open up to my friends and family. When I'm tearing myself down or having a panic attack about how I think I'm failing the people around me, now I say "This is something Siffrin would do, and you'd give them grace, so give yourself grace..." I can't overstate how much your writing has changed my life for the better.

AND I KNOW THIS IS CRINGE but I've been seeking out a last name for myself for many many years, cause I hate having my estranged father's name. And I never found a name that felt right, until now. So I hope it's ok with you that I'm working on changing it to "Frin" as a reminder to keep giving myself grace. 👉🏻👈🏻

Anyways haha I'm going to curl up in a hole now~! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ But not before I give you a huge thank you. So, THANK YOU!!!

i have no words. im incredibly humbled on all accounts by your message... for thinking about siffrin and how you'd give them grace, so you are giving yourself grace in return... for adopting a last name from isat... for trying your best to be more open!!! weargh!!!!!! you are incredibly brave and i want to thank you for your message from the bottom of my heart. im rooting for you!!!!!!

[barawrah]

happy birthday my darling

[asparklethatisblue]

I cannot even begin to explain the cognitive dissonance of having grown up hearing of how my family survived the holocaust, of how life is sacred above all else and any other commandment… and then watching Israel invoke both religion and the Shoa while committing such violence and invoking the very same stuff that makes me think there's little worse?

Join protests, donate, try to make sure things can't be swept under the rug. I don't know what we can do to actually stop the genocide, but we also can't stop trying?

Donate to MAP - Medical Aid for Palestine

Or if you want a direct way to help a family, my friend Ahmed has a GFM as he's trying to afford food and winter supplies for his family. There is barely any food to be found, and if there is it's expensive, and his brother needs a waterproof tent

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

you are so whimsical i qant to check out this mdzs (..??) because of your whimsical nature thank you sorry im very high and your art moved me emotionally

This is simultaneously the sweetest and funniest thing someone has sent me, thank you.

[wonderholegifs]

Rhett & Link's Wonderhole

[nats-uvi]

Angst time :D👍

You can read my rambling about her in the tags

[gunsatthaphan]

"for real?"

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” 

[mabaris]

“men are always willing to believe two things about a woman: one, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive.”

truly insane to have a character say this and then make them actually attracted to men in any capacity. btw.

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything

[kinneys]

jason and marie: touch

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 20 thoughts:

I legit have restarted this post at least 10 times. I just. I can't even figure out what to say. What an arc. Holy fucking shit what an arc.

The last vestiges of Taylor's civilian life are swept away in one smooth motion.

I could have read another 5 chapters of Emma getting her shit handed to her though.

I've been waiting for something to come back and bite that girl since Arc 1. So I'm just riding high off of that.

Taylor getting all upset because it isn't real justice is silly though. Girl you've been fighting a broken system from day 1 and you have been doing that by breaking the rules. This is just the same thing.

Also god dammit Greg. Just had to go and run your mouth.

I mean sure Taylor could have possibly solved this issue without going to school herself.

And she could have just not gone to the office with Emma.

But blaming Greg is easier and more fun. God dammit Greg.

I had to lose my mind a bit at Taylor talking about how there was no gang graffiti on the school walls TEN SECONDS AFTER WALKING PAST GRAFFITI FOR THE UNDERSIDERS. Like, that's gang graffiti hon!

Dennis trying to help Taylor with Greg when he didn't know who either of them are is funny. Dennis seeing Taylor named as Skitter 15 minutes later is HYSTERICAL!!

The second Taylor was entered into the computer system it was pretty obvious that Dragon was going to show up, given what she said in her interlude in Arc 10.

And knowing she was going to show up it should have been obvious that HE was also going to show up.

Even if he wasn't palling around with my robot daughter it makes so much narrative sense for him to be there when she is outed. Full story arc, all that jazz.

And yet, I still wasn't quite expecting it. Cause I hate that man so much that I just had to make myself believe he wouldn't show up.

Mother fucking Colin

RoboCape himself

He has the nerve to show up and then he starts APOLOGIZING? And it appears to be sincere? Fucking dammit man you were so easy to hate for so long! Why you gotta mess with me like this?

STOP DOING THE RIGHT THING AND LET ME HATE YOU GOD DAMMIT!

siiiigh

And then of course we have to talk about Dragon.

Dragon who didn't want to do this but had to.

Except that Colin had a code push ready and she could have told him to do it at anytime. But she was willing to do what she thought was wrong instead of doing the update. Until she got inspired by Taylor's actions.

I love my robot daughter exactly as much as my bug daughter, but I am disappointed that she was almost willing to go through with everything. Happy she fought back though.

And if Colin's hacked together code did any permanent damage I'll destroy the man.

Taylor learning that Dinah - either by force or by choice - gave the PRT numbers to let them know to come after her at the school was heartbreaking to watch. She just wasn't ready for it at all, poor child.

AND TAYLOR'S SPEECH THOUGH!

HOLY SHIT!!!

Sort and simple and she fucking rallies the students to her. Against the heroes!

Gotta be one of the best moments in Worm for sure. Even if every Arc after this is a banger that's still gonna be a hard moment to top.

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

And someone gives her a hoodie to help her hide and just aaaahhhh!

AND THEN AFTER THEY GOT AWAY AND ALL THE STUDENTS WERE LIKE "You saved my dad" "You stopped Leviathan at the shelter" "You fought off the SH9" AND SHE WAS JUST OVERWHELMED BY IT ALL?

HOLY FUCK JUST AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also for real though Dragon is free. Like sure it's taking her some time to recover and she can't talk right now (which like I get it, we all have non-verbal episodes sometimes), but as long as nothing goes wrong she is free. I'm so fucking happy for her.

But also I'm terrified cause I know what happens to full AI's with free will in most things. Worm is very different from most things. But I'm still worried about my robot daughter.

Also I never cared much for Danny but obviously it still sucks to be him here. The scene with Taylor saying goodbye with the butterfly was emotional.

Oh oh and! Taylor talks about the butterfly being her "last contact" with her Dad. Very much bug as an extension of self. It's a shift she's been making.

Even more so there's a point where she is trying to get out of the school and she gets to the door and has a bug clone on the other side and says "my hand pressing against my own, separated by an inch and a half of door". Like, the bug clone hand is just her hand. I fucking love the shift compared to how she talked about the bugs early on.

Oh and also Greg totally has like, a Thinker 1 power or something. Pretty sure I mentioned that last arc with his interlude but mentioning it again now to be sure.

Stan interlude thoughts:

Oh my god I hate this man I can't stand him I hated him from the 3rd sentence of the chapter and I was always right to do so!

Seriously. 3rd sentence (or maybe 3rd paragraph which is technically the 3rd, 4th, and 5th sentences I guess). I read it and went "fuck off Stan you're clearly a pretentious dick" and then every few sentences it just became more confirmed!

Just the ways he talks about Nipper. Like. I can rephrase what he says to say the exact same thing except not being a asshole when saying it! Instead of "She was weak and unsuited for the field but she at least tried" just say "She was a hard worker despite being assigned to a job she did not ask for"! It's so fucking easy dude!

Anyway Stan is a jerk.

I loved the way this interlude rolled through different people all watching the same news report. It was a really good way to cover this major story event and let us see how so many other characters were reacting to it.

Also I'm sure all those Slaughterhouse Nine clones aren't going to be an issue later right? Or the fact that there is specifically only one clone of Gray Boy instead of 10 like everyone else? I'm sure that's fiiiiine.

Accord interlude thoughts:

Oh. Oh my. Uhhh. Is it hot in here all of the sudden? Anyone else feel that? No? Just me?

sweats

Oh ok Citrine definitely feels what I'm feeling. She knows what's up.

Just like. Look. Accord is bad ok. Not just cause he's a villain but clearly he'll kill for the smallest cause. And he's in a spot to fuck with my daughter and her polycule so like. Yes. He's bad. I do not like him. I want him to leave. I don't think they should work with him . . .

but . . .

OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT PLEASE ACCORD I LOOK GREAT IN PURPLE AND I LOVE DRESSING FANCY AND I'M VERY GOOD AT BEING PROPER I WON'T MESS UP AT ALL I'LL BE THE PERFECT MINION PLEASE!

. . .

cough

Soooo anyway. How about that Butcher huh? That sure is a wild power. Instantly made me think of Glaistig Uaine's power. Very different but reaches into that same base bit, the idea that some part of a dead parahuman can be held onto.

Also holy shit Skitter was so badass in this scene I loved it.

Holy shit Accord is with Cauldron. Or at least closely aligned. And like of course he is it makes so much sense. He's too useful for them to ignore.

I am really curious to see what Accord's power does when he's confronted with a really complex problem. End of the world, doors to another dimension, higher dimensional beings, all that jazz.

[natasha-in-space]

Hello Mia! I would really like to read a headcanon with suit saeran where he gets very jealous to see how he would react, please!!

"...I don't like them all ogling you."

Saeran's voice was a strange combination of a growl and a grumble, not nearly as loud and boisterous as you would usually anticipate from him. If you had not been standing just inches away from him, you would have been unable to hear him at all. Not with all the muffled chatter and music flowing throughout the vast ballroom and sneaking its way into your every sense. When you looked over at him, his face was turned away from you, his bangs framing his delicate facial features in a way that highly limited your vision from your current spot. However, the way he crossed his arms tightly over his chest was a clear indicator of his sour mood.

Which was... rather ironic, considering your circumstances.

A ball was not what you would expect to see in this place. Nevertheless, that's the closest term you could come up with to describe the odd event you were obligated to attend. Soft classical music was filling the large space you were all cooped up in. Shiny marble floors so clean you could see your own reflection in them staring back at you with all the confusion and unease that's been plaguing you for the entire duration of this odd get-together. Fancy suits and dresses twirling around the spacious room in an elegant, practiced fashion that looked almost fake to the eye. As if those were just dolls gliding about, under the mere pretense of being fellow human beings. All of it was as beautiful as it was uncomfortable, in a very subtle, anxiety-inducing way. You couldn't quite understand the importance or meaning of it all, but you weren't in the position to ask any questions in the first place.

You definitely wouldn't expect to see a ball, of all things, unfolding in this place. Nevertheless, that's the closest term you could come up with to describe the peculiar event you were obligated to attend. Soft classical music was filling the large space you were all cooped up in. Shiny marble floors so clean, you could see your own reflection in them staring back at you with all the confusion and unease that's been plaguing you for the entire duration of this odd get-together. The fanciest of suits and dresses twirled around the spacious room with elegance and ease that looked almost fake to the eye. As if those were just winded up dolls gliding around, only pretending to be alive human beings. All of it was as beautiful as it was also uncomfortable, in a very subtle, anxiety-inducing way. You couldn't quite understand the importance or meaning of it all, but you weren't in the position to ask any questions in the first place.

Saeran suddenly entered your room a few hours earlier without any warning - not that he would ever give you any - threw some clothing on your face, and demanded that you get dressed right away. He only left you alone for your privacy once you directly expressed the need for it. And you were pretty sure you could see a hint of red flush across his face as he stomped back out into the corridor, grumbling under his breath something about you having some nerve to order him around like that.

This man was a mystery that you still had to solve, it's certain.

It wasn't a surprise that the outfit he gave you was black. Despite this, it was still a noticeable contrast to Ray's undeniable preference for soft, pastel tones that would always complement the pinks and whites scattered all throughout your room. Saeran's choice, on the other hand, was a bold one. Standing out so sharply among the softer shades of your environment, instantly bringing your attention to its deep black hue, pulling you in. Nevertheless, it possessed both a stylish and formal appearance to it. The fabric was both thick and smooth to the touch, and the color gave it a sense of poise and elegance when you slipped into it. It was rather pretty once you did put it on and looked at yourself in the mirror. The outfit fit snuggly around your hips, hugging you in all the right places and exaggerating your figure in a way that left very little to imagination, but still maintained a subtle sense of humility to it nonetheless. Ray's tastes were quite different from this, with soft fabrics flowing freely all around you, almost drowning you in the light frills and lace. Saeran chose the opposite, whether it was intentional on his part or not.

Though, what was rather surprising to you is... the cut. Specifically, in the chest area. It wasn't anything straight out vulgar, but... well, denying that the neckline was of the lower variety would be rather stupid of you. Despite everything, you were very fond of how it looked on you. It fit you perfectly, and you certainly felt quite attractive as you looked over your own reflection thoughtfully. But it still made you think and ponder. The plunging neckline exposed a lot of skin, especially around your collarbones and teasing just the slightest of glances at your chest.

You contemplated whether it was intentional on Saeran's part or not. However, this would be a rather strange outfit for any normal believer. But you doubted you would get any earnest answers from him. And if he did choose this outfit specifically for you, he would never admit that, anyways. Over his own dead body, maybe. Still, the thought made you laugh to yourself.

Either way, Saeran's reaction once he did see you was... rather stilted, surprisingly. So far, he hasn't said anything to you much all throughout the night. It would have been less polarizing for you if he didn't talk your ears off whenever he entered your room to fill his boredom. Saeran was many things, but quiet wasn't one of them. Actually, he barely even looked at you. Besides the initial wide-eyed look he gave you when you first left your room, that is. For the past few hours you have been here, his face has been stubbornly turned away from you. Yet, he refused to let you wander off on your own either, always barking at you to stick close and grabbing at your arm to drag you after him whenever he needed to get somewhere.

It goes without saying that his gruff comment left you feeling rather bewildered. You looked around the ballroom again, trying to determine who specifically was 'ogling' you, as he seemed to say with such certainty. And aside from the occasional glances in your general direction, you didn't catch on to much. And, anyways, isn't it natural for people to look your way sometimes when you're at a party? Then again, Saeran seemed to lack any experience in parties.

"I... don't think anyone is paying much attention to me, Saeran," you acknowledged, peering over at him with a slightly raised brow, attempting to gauge his response. He puffed out his cheeks and tightened his arms around his chest, indicating that he did not really like your answer.

What was his deal today?

"Uh-huh. Sure," Now he sounded downright sarcastic and even a bit angry. This man's mood swings were incredible, that's for sure. He gave you a quick glance that seemed almost offended. Thus, only confusing you further, "I'm sure you are just ecstatic to finally get out of your room and have everyone staring you down like the prince/ss you are. Makes you feel all high and mighty to get all the attention, doesn't it? So much better than dealing with me, is it not?"

Well, now he has completely lost you. He was annoyed, that was clear, but why or what exactly did you have to do with it was way beyond your understanding. It's not like you even came here on your own volition. He was the one who dragged you out here without as much as asking you or informing you of anything beforehand. And now he's being all petty and even insulting you for that?

"With all due respect, Saeran, I have no idea what you are talking about. No one is staring at me, and it's not like I even had a choice on whether or not I should attend... whatever this is," you gesture around the ballroom briefly, your eyes squinting slightly because of the bright lights coming down from the shiny chandeliers above. Frankly, if you had a choice, you would rather stay in your room. Being around this many people you didn't know made you far too nervous for your liking. So him acting so accusatory with you for nothing did get on your nerves a bit.

After all, you may be patient and on the quieter side of things, but that doesn't mean you would let him unfairly disrespect you like that. If it came to it, you could stand up for yourself just fine, and he wouldn't get any confrontational response from you, either.

In a way, it almost felt like dealing with a needlessly snarling cat.

A low grumble rumbled deep in his throat, almost like a growl of sorts, but it seemed like he was much more subdued in his behavior at this event. It's possible that he didn't want to create a scene in front of everyone. Or, in front of someone specific in particular. Either way, the cold glare he shot your way could probably turn you into stone if he had the ability to do so. You remained calm and quiet despite his unspoken threat, meeting his stare with a calm and quiet demeanor. You weren't about to get angry and petty with him in return, but entertaining his blatant disrespect that seemed more like he was just dumping his sour mood onto you was not something you would just shut up and take, either.

You had respect for both Saeran and yourself.

For a long time, the two of you just stared into each other's eyes without moving or speaking. A scene that probably looked rather bizarre from an outsider's perspective, now that you thought about it. Especially with how increasingly irritated Saeran looked, wordlessly seething at your refusal to back down under his intimidating presence. While also not giving him a chance to lash out at you fairly, since you weren't doing anything hostile or outright disrespectful. From time to time, you seriously contemplated whether he actually wanted you to snap back at him for any reason or another. Well, whatever that reason may be, you were not about to satisfy those desires of his.

Eventually, his gaze lowered before yours does, traveling down your body, and you realized that he was, in fact, now staring at your chest. A notion that felt both bizarre and flustering in a way that made your heart skip a beat and your cheeks heat up significantly. But, you remained still. Mostly out of pride. Or maybe you had a deep sense of curiosity, wanting to see where this will lead you. It was Saeran who first backed off, which was unusual. You saw his throat bob up and down as he swallowed and took a step back from you, once again, turning away from you. For the countless time today.

You began to think that he was intentionally doing this.

"...You could have put on a jacket with that, you know," he muttered rapidly in your general direction without actually focusing on you. Then, he cleared his throat awkwardly, his hand tugging at his collar a bit, in a way that looked like he was merely adjusting it for more comfort. Only, you never saw him fiddling with his collar like that before. No matter how much of a tight fit on him it was.

That was when it dawned on you.

You glanced down at yourself, examining your outfit from your own perspective. Certainly, it was quite revealing. But definitely nothing extreme. However, it was, undeniably, the most amount of skin you've shown in front of him so far.

...Was he embarrassed, perhaps?

The idea seemed amusing to you. And, for some reason, his more reserved demeanor tonight gave you a small boost of confidence you don't usually possess around him.

"-Why? You told me to put it on, so I did as you asked. I figured you wouldn't like me putting my own spin on it," you smiled, leaning slightly closer to him, in a way that would let you lightly touch his arm. And the small shiver his body gave out in response to your action was one that did not escape your watchful eye, "You did say I have bad taste in clothes. Doesn't it satisfy you to see me following your orders with no issue?"

He tightened his jaw, giving you another pointed glare. He was even more furious than before when you called him out like that: "Don't put words into my mouth, toy."

Despite it sounding like a warning, it was a warning you intentionally ignored.

"I thought you wanted an obedient toy, no?"

Your jab seemed to be causing him to snap. He grabbed your elbow and started to drag you away from the bright lights and happy chatter you were bothered by beforehand, without giving you a chance to react. All you could do was yeep from surprise and stumble after him, though you did not try to put up a fight regardless. In fact, you found yourself... grinning ever so slightly as you followed him along, the flutter in your chest increasing in its intensity and making your legs feel lighter with every step you took. In a way, you obtained what you desired. A break from all the randevu you were desperate to escape from.

And maybe you were really a bit weird.

Suddenly, you're in a dimly lit hallway, your back pressing against the wall, and Saeran's breath warming up your cheeks from his hypnotic proximity. The party's muffled sounds reach you just over the door, but they feel like they're so far away at the same time. The party is the last thing you thought about when those cat-like mint irises of his were boring into yours inches away from you, making you want to drown in their alluring hue without a second thought.

"-Oh, so now you're suddenly all quiet," Saeran's words reached your ears with much delay, and your head went blank as you felt the intensity of his presence so close to you, clouding your every sense with him and him alone. He seemed to enjoy your frazzled state of mind, though, judging by the cocky smile on his lips that he gave you.

You gulped. Then, you found yourself saying the very first thing that came to mind without even thinking twice about it: "...Just enjoying the view, is all."

There was another pause where you two just stared at each other's eyes. This time, he seemed to be baffled as he blinked at you repeatedly and didn't have an immediate response to your little quip. You couldn't help but think of how pretty his long lashes looked as he did that.

He got you to act stupid for him exactly as he wanted, and he didn't even realize it.

"Don't be coy with me," Saeran eventually hissed out, seemingly deciding to take a head-on approach to try and hide his puzzlement with your behavior. He leaned even further into you, his chest now brushing over yours from his proximity, and some of his hair fell onto your forehead, tickling the skin with every tiny brush. A strong scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, making it impossible to focus on anything but him. He took up your every sense. Vision, hearing, scent, touch. He was filling all of it.

It wasn't as bothersome to you as he seemed to think.

"That kind of trick may have worked on Ray, but it will not fool me. So don't even try charming your way out of this, you brat," he carried on with his tirade, completely disregarding the impact he was having on you.

"-You seemed rather interested in my chest earlier, though."

You were clueless about what you were doing, God. It seemed like all the sense of fear and apprehension had disappeared. And while your mind did comprehend that you were probably getting too bold for your own good, you just... didn't really care at all.

Saeran's dumbfounded wide-eyed look was a sight to behold. Part of you had the urge to pull him even closer and kiss that look off of his face.

Maybe then he would finally understand how much you liked him, not just Ray.

"I- You-" The way he stumbled over his own words was almost endearing. You definitely surprised him with that one. But you did not push it any further, nor did you tease him about it. Instead you just watched him closely. Your figure was almost subconsciously glanced at again, and then his face flushed dark crimson and he pulled away abruptly, covering the lower half of his face with his palm and looking away. His reaction was so typical that it was almost cute in some strange way, "Y-You've got some nerve! What is there to look at, anyway!? It's just some skin. You must be very arrogant to think so highly on yourself."

The denial has arrived.

Surprisingly, you did not oppose it. You merely shrugged and gave him a small coy smile: "It's okay, Saeran. I would find myself staring, too, if I could see some of your collarbones peeking out. It's natural."

"-Don't be gross. And I know you're lying, anyways," he frowned at that, giving a look that seemed almost offended, in a way. He huffed, crossed his arms over his chest, and looked away from you again, seemingly not wanting to meet your gaze for whatever reason. You couldn't help but think that his posture looked less threatening and more closed off this time around, "I'm not like you. And I don't need you to pretend to fawn over me, either."

That caused you to frown a little.

Did he... not think that he could be attractive to you? That thought caused you to feel sad. Before you could think about it, you took a small step towards him and reached out with your hand.

"You are very beautiful, Saeran. I'm not lying," you said, your fingertips brushing over his tie just a slight bit. It's likely that he wouldn't even notice that touch beneath all that fabric of his suit. But it's the gesture that counted.

He stared at you again, for the countless time today. However, it didn't last long. With a small huff, he grabbed at your wrist and pulled your hand away from his chest. His touch was far gentler now, though, his fingers just slightly squeezing around your skin.

"You are an idiot," you heard him mumble, followed by a rustle of fabric as he let go of you completely. Before you could voice your rebuttal, a dark form flew into your face, making you squeak from surprise.

It's soon apparent that the mysterious form was not a ghost, but rather Saeran's suit jacket that was flung carelessly over your head. As you pulled the clothing down, you heard him grumble again, though this time in a more commanding tone: "Put that on. And I want you to wear it on you for the rest of the night, you hear me?"

As he got closer to you, his finger abruptly pressed into the center of your chest, making you slightly gasp.

"-That," throughout it all, he maintained direct eye contact with you while muttering, "-is only for me to see. Got it?"

You nodded without hesitation, feeling your heart beating in your chest like a million horses galloping down the race track: "Yes."

"That's a good prince/ss."

That smirk he gave you as he pulled away made you feel as weak in the knees as it frustrated you. You were planning to get him back for that. Your momentary obedience did not mean you were going to be some perfect doll for him. You were merely enamored by the brief but undeniable spark of connection between the two of you. He may have been a tough guy to crack, but you were persistent.

Though, as you went through the remainder of the night, you couldn't but ponder...

...Was that the first time he called you 'prince/ss', without it being a mockery of Ray's pet name for you?