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KINKTOBER DAY 1 - Grooming: Shunsui Kyoraku x Reader
Summary: Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork. A surefire way for Shunsui's headache to appear. But before it grabs a hold of him, maybe visiting you, a hair stylist in the World of the Living, would give him a much needed reprieve. Also, his hair was in need of a trim anyways.
TW: MDNI! NSFW. Shinigami Shunsui Kyoraku (Post TYBW) with human Reader. I tried to make Reader a bit of a tsundere. Oral sex (fem receiving).
Word count: 2030
Read on AO3 here.
This is a two-parter, with the second part falling under Face Sitting.
Head Captain Kyoraku hung his head and sighed. Paperwork was so cumbersome, there was too many on his desk, too many to read and too many to sign. Damn… how does Nanao do all of this, he thought to himself, slightly regretting giving her time off.
Another sigh echoed the room as he tried to concentrate at the task at hand. Paper after paper, sighs followed by grumbles and muttering from reading strange contracts and requests. Shunsui recognized the familiar pain that was flaring in his skull.
He leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes to try and minimize the approaching headache. It was then, it hit him like a strike of lightning, a brilliant idea on how to get this headache to go away.
Not one to be too irresponsible, he left a message with Lieutenant Okikiba that he’d back shortly.
To see Mr. Kyoraku at your salon was certainly a surprise. You didn’t quite know the man, but he enjoyed your company after you first gave his curly brown hair a simple trim. He came in one day, as you were closing, then would randomly visit you. Sometimes this was when you were already busy with a client, waiting around until you were free, other times it was right when you were closing. The relationship you had was… interesting. You couldn’t deny the immediate attraction to him as he was so handsome, but he also came across as silly that you couldn’t help but laugh at some of his antics and comments.
At the same time, the randomness annoyed you to a degree, so you gave him your number. What shocked you was that it was almost as if he had never heard of a cellphone number before. He stared at the slip of paper with confusion across his face. You remembered that night as you had burst into laughter, and he followed up with, “you have a beautiful laugh” and a dashing smile.
And now, here he was again, showing up when you had just finished with a client, making his way to a seat.
“Mr. Kyoraku! It’s nice to see you, but you need to remember to book an appointment with me.” You laughed as you brushed any remaining cut pieces of hair off your client, paying no mind to him. You attended to your client, as Mr. Kyoraku sat in his seat, his head down.
Once the client left, you were alone in your shop. You had been visited by Mr. Kyoraku several times now, and he would pay a hefty amount for being alone. It startled you the first time, but he said he wanted your complete and undivided attention, and he would pay extra for that.
Which was why he was here, again. How many years has it been since this came to be? But this visit was a bit different, the air was a bit tense. You proceeded to close up shop as Mr. Kyoraku asked you about your day. You focused on sweeping the floor, then looked at him from the mirror in front of you.
“Mr. Kyoraku! What happened?” You gasped, turning around to face him. He wore an eye patch, and an evident scar ran behind it to his ear.
“Oh this? You should have seen the other guy.” He laughed, trying to ease your worry, but without thinking, you held his face as you lightly traced the scar. The worry never faded from your face.
“You’ve always been so sweet to me, my dear.” Mr. Kyoraku said, cupping your hand to his face. He looked at you with his one eye and gave you a tender smile. “I’m alright, you really shouldn’t worry about an old man like me.” You frowned and knew he wouldn’t say much about himself, so you clicked your tongue and pulled him out of his seat.
“So can I assume you’re here for the usual?” You asked, preparing your tools to cut his hair.
He hummed in appreciation, as you draped the hair cutting cape over him. He undid his ponytail, and you began to lightly tussle his locks, “well your hair is super healthy! I hope it wasn’t a hassle to take care of as you recovered from your eye injury, sir.” You asked, politely.
“My dear, you can call me Shunsui.” He smiled at you through the mirror. You blushed at the lack of formality but nodded along. You could sense he was a bit self-conscious, but he had no reason to be. For some reason though, you felt that even if you said that to him, it wouldn’t detract from his insecurity.
You proceeded to trim the ends of his hairs to the shape he preferred. You were no nonsense in your approach, which he had told you before was what he preferred. He could sense your methodical approach, and as he had to move his head up and down, saw how focused you were on him and his hair.
It was… nice being cared for this way.
Then you quickly brushed him and led him to the sinks to wash his hair. “Could you… give me a longer massage today?” Shunsui asked, with a sheepish smile on his face.
“Oh of course, let me just clean your hair first, and I promise to give you the best scalp massage ever!” You exclaimed, wanting to make him feel better.
You carefully lathered and rinsed his hair. The long, brown tresses flowed softly along the sink, your nimble fingers gently detangling his hair. Your fingers made his way to his scalp, and you softly massaged his scalp. Shunsui sank deeper into his chair and let out a content sigh, “that’s great, just what I needed.” He murmured, a large smile gracing his face.
“If you want Mr. Kyo- I mean Shunsui, after I dry your hair, I can give you a back massage. I can see your back muscles are quite tense too.” You asked, noticing the way he was still tense in his chair. He gave you a sincere smile, “I’d love that.”
Once Shunsui’s hair had dried, and he placed his hair in a ponytail again, you led him to one of your spare esthetician rooms where you would give skincare treatments to a few of your clients. The bed doubled as a massage bed, so you instructed him to lay down on it.
Shunsui proceeded to take off his dress shirt, earning a flustered noise from you, “hold on! Let me leave the room.” Shunsui laughed, “it’s alright. We don’t have to be so modest with each other.” Giving you a wink.
“You just like teasing me.” You pouted, as you pushed him on to the bed. It did startle you to see how muscular he was, with mattering of chest hair, but you tried to be professional.
Tried being the operative word.
You placed the cover on top of him and began to feel out his back, noticing where tension was placed across his muscles. You also noticed the faint, timeworn scars across his back.
“You know, Shunsui, we’ve known each other for years… but you never told me what you do.”
“Is that so?” Shunsui replied, with a slight air of indifference, “why don’t you take a guess as to what I do?”
You hummed to yourself, trying to piece together what you knew about him coupled with the scars across his body and eye injury.
“An archery teacher?” You asked, thinking it was a bit of an odd job, but one you could see him do.
Shunsui gave a low chuckle, “no, bows aren’t my weapon of choice.”
Interesting you thought to yourself.
“A kendo teacher perhaps?” As you kneaded a particularly tense muscle of his. Shunsui inhaled sharply from the instant pain, but then relaxed.
“No, but you’re getting slightly warmer.”
Slightly warmer? You questioned. “Have you been working this job for long time?”
Shunsui let out another deep, muffled laugh, “you have no idea.”
“Something to do with the military?” You stopped, peering down at him. Shunsui looked up at you and gave you a lazy smile.
“Close enough.”
Confusion ran through your face, but you were done with his massage. Shunsui sat up on the table, rolling his shoulders and flexing his neck. He let out a loud groan of satisfaction from the relief he felt, “you had no idea how much I needed that.”
But you stared at him with a puzzled look on his face, trying to still figure out his career. Shunsui couldn’t help but laugh at your expression. “You look cute with that look on your face” he chuckled, poking your face.
This earned him another pout from you, “I’m not cute! I’m a grown woman.” This earned another laugh from him.
“You’re both cute and beautiful, how about that?” Shunsui explained, calling your name.
You crossed your arms, pretending to be hurt and mad at what he said, “you have to apologize, you know.” You huffed. Shunsui stared and then gave you a sly smile, cupping your face in his large hand.
“I think I know what to do so you can accept my apology.” Shunsui said, his face hovering close to yours. You closed your eyes as you felt his lips on yours, his hand holding your chin. You could feel the familiar tingles flowing through your body, as the kiss deepened.
He pulled away from you, a lazy, yet satisfied smile crossing his lips. Without a word, he lifted you with ease, putting you back on to the massage table.
“I think you need to take somethings off, if I’m supposed to give you a proper massage.” Shunsui said, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. You quickly shimmied off your bottoms and underwear, then spread your legs wide for him.
“See what I mean, you truly are both cute and beautiful.” Shunsui said in his teasing tone. Your pussy was bare for him to see, not quite wet enough to his liking, but it was a start. He kissed you again, as one of his hands traveled down, cupping your pussy. His large thumb gently rubbed against your clit, earning a gasp from you.
“That’s it,” Shunsui said, pulling his face away from you. He felt the growing slickness from you and kissed his way down your body, giving your nipples some quick bites and sucks. Soon he was hunched over the table, with your legs on his shoulders, as he was face-to-face with your wet pussy.
Shunsui let a long swipe against your wet folds. He groaned at your taste, suckling on your clit as one of his fingers entered you.
You were seeing stars, loudly moaning at how intense Shunsui was with your pussy. His thick finger was already so full for you, then he added two more, earning a deep groan from you. Your orgasm was approaching, as you threaded your fingers in Shunsui’s curls. His large nose rubbed along your slick pussy as he lapped away, savouring your taste.
You shrieked as your orgasm came, your pussy drenching his face with your wetness. Your face was flushed as you laid on the massage bed, watching Shunsui sit up and straighten himself out. A lazy, smug smile appeared on Shunsui face as he watched you in satisfaction, trying to ride out the remnants of your orgasm.
Shunsui pulled you up, kissing your forehead as your body began to calm down. Your pussy throbbed from what had just happened, but you wanted more of it, and more of him.
“If you’re free the rest of the evening, why don’t you come back to my place, Shunsui?” You asked, spreading your bare legs again as if to entice him.
Another lazy grin graced Shunsui’s face, “I thought you’d never ask.”
As he helped you finish the remaining tasks to close your salon, the headache he had and the boring paperwork, were a distant memory to him. A memory soon to be replaced by the sounds of your moans, the feel of your pussy and mouth around his cock, and your flushed body next to his.
TBC in face sitting.
Thanks for reading!!
#bleach#kyoraku shunsui#shunsui kyoraku#kyoraku shunsui x reader#shunsui x reader#bleach smut#bleach x reader#kinktober#a writes#bleach shunsui#bleach kyoraku#kyoraku smut#shunsui smut#bleach fanfiction#bleach writings#kyoraku x reader#shunsui x you#kyoraku x you#captain kyoraku#kinktober 2024
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Everything I Lost But Found In You
summary: Shinji reflects on everything he lost and gained from Aizen’s betrayal.
warnings: fluff, slice of life, post TYBW, pre-CFYOW, Sen is a tsundere, slightly suggestive content
a/n: I’ve been working on this OC since 2008 and I’m so excited to share her with you guys! The first chapter is short and sweet but I promise the next ones will be longer!
Masterlist//Next Chapter
Everything
Shinji leaned against the wooden railing of his office of the 5th Division headquarters, the air infused with the sweet scent of fresh cherry blossoms, flowing gently through his hair as his wife worked diligently behind him on his paperwork that was now a week late.
As he started to contemplate the twists of fate that had brought them together, warm memories of their earlier days resurfaced to the forefront of his mind. Just as he was starting to get lost in his thoughts the sound of his wife getting to her feet drew him back to his reality. Sen stretches behind him and lets out a huff, as she stood from his pile of unattended documents at his desk, drawing his eye to the undeniable curve of her belly that marked her heavily pregnant form with a smile.
She turned to him, a mix of frustration and affection in her eyes as she started to chide him for letting paperwork pile up so much over the past week.
“I swear the older you get the lazier you get Shinji.” She said with a frown though he could tell from the mischievous shine in her eye that the jab wasn’t serious.
“You can’t keep relying on me to forge your signature, Shinji. I won’t always be here to bail you out, especially when Asahi gets here!” she scolded, but her voice lacking any real bite to it as she rubbed at her swollen stomach. He couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he came back into the office space, stepping closer to her and attempting to steal a kiss to her cheek as he gently rubbed her stomach, placing a warm calloused hand over her much smaller one.
“You shouldn’t stress so much. It’s not good for him,” he teased, knowing she wouldn’t let him off the hook entirely. “Besides I said I’d take care of it when we got back, it’s not my fault you decided to start doin’ it before we leave.” he added, knowing how excited she was to see her friends and their kid again even if it was just to watch Chad’s boxing match over at Ichigo and Orihime’s.
Sen smiled at his affectionate antics but swatted him away playfully, “That’s because I knew you wouldn’t do it.” she waved him off as she continued. “Now go and find Atsushi, we gotta leave soon and she’s probably off training with Ichika so I’m sure she’ll need to get cleaned up before we go.”
“Go on, get moving, or we’ll be late!” she urged, her tone light but stern as she waddled past him towards their shared home. “So cold.” Shinji’s expression fell into a mock pout at her dismissal. “At least I know Atsushi loves me,” he quipped back at her retreating form. As Sen walked toward their home to get ready for their trip to the Human World, he continued to admire her form with a smile, hand resting in his cheek as he leaned in the railing of his office once again.
How the hell had he gotten so lucky in life?
The haunting memories of Aizen’s betrayal weighed heavy on him, even to this day, but amidst all the loss, there was a flicker of light, his love for Sen and the family they’ve come to make together never failed to ease his dread over what had come to pass.
He recalled the very first moment their paths crossed back in the tea scented walls of her father Kisuke’s peculiar shop, the warmth he felt the first time she had called him by his first name, their first date that she, to this day, still refused to acknowledge as their first actual date, their first fight, fueled solely by Shinji’s jealousy, over her spending more time with Kensei than him, the first time Sen patched up his wounds and chastised him for not letting her help him in the first place. Their first “I love yous” even though neither of them said it directly, they both knew the implications of what they had said meant to the other.
It was in those moments that he began to understand the depth of her feelings, she loved him, just as fiercely and unconditionally as she loved her family and he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t love her just as strong back then even if he hadn’t known it yet.
#SoundCloud#bleach x oc#shinji x reader#shinji x oc#shinji hirako#bleach shinji#bleach fanfiction#bleach fanfic#kisuke urahara
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Its funny, Yoruichi x Ichigo is the fandoms favorite crack ship for Ichigo particularly lol. What's your thoughts on this? Why do you think people like this ship and do you think it could happen if Ichigo became close to her like everyone likes to think?
I'd dispute that and say that fandom's favorite crackship for Ichigo is GrimmIchi, but I'll admit it really depends on what segment of fandom we're talking about, because GrimmIchi is the purview of transformative yaoi fangirls, while YoruIchi is the purview of curative horny hetmen who now mostly use AI to make porn of her while generally giving him a harem. (IchiBambi is also weirdly popular for some reason despite them never meeting.)
Why do the curative horny hetmen create YoruIchi porn? Well, that's an onion of a question.
The first and most important reason is because Ichigo is the main character, so he is automatically the main focus and fixation of the bulk of the curative audience. Now while Ichigo definitely does have a personality, it gets deemphasized enough over the course of the series that he can reliably function as a self-insert for the average guy, who is both the main creator and consumer of porn of Yoruichi. (As an aside, this is also a primary driver of UraYoru porn, which mainly revolves around Kisuke being perceived as "cool" and "a baller" despite being a nerd, rather than any kind of misapprehension of romance between them.) So, Ichigo is settled on first and foremost because he's the most obvious male to include in M/F porn. Obviously, Yoruichi is the real main focus.
The second reason is because "hot for teacher" is an extremely common trope and fantasy all by itself, and Yoruichi's canonical "teasing" of Ichigo forms a convenient onboarding point for imagining she might have some kind of interest in him, even though that's absolutely not what it actually signified. Picking Ichigo specifically caters to this better than any other male character would.
The third reason is because only slightly less common as a fantasy is the idea of taking a powerful woman and "putting her in place" through sexual prowess. YoruIchi porn usually has an air of "putting that uppity bitch in her proper place" rather than being tender or affectionate or whatever else. It's almost always explicitly sexual rather than sensual. Considering Yoruichi effortlessly disabled Ichigo during SS Arc, and in TYBW endlessly berates him, picking him imbues works with this element of powerplay and one-upmanship.
The fourth reason is because most of this art, coming from the West, has weird racial tensions behind it, given Yoruichi's ambiguously "exotic" appearance. Light-skinned anime characters are generally treated by Western audiences as white, even if they are known to be Japanese, rather than as Asian. Dark-skinned anime characters are generally treated by Western audiences as black, even if they are more accurately described as ambiguously brown. It isn't really hard to see that the "BWC" phenomenon is generally being appealed to, and for what audience.
[Future me editing in here: another reason is the Bleach equivalent of when Asuka or Rei is discussed, and someone answers Misato. Yoruichi is the most plausible stand-in for Misato, to Rukia and Orihime's Asuka and Rei, not that any of them actually fit those archetypes well. She's the "cultured" choice.]
So, basically, YoruIchi porn is thinly-veiled self-insert wish-fulfillment. (And so is most UraYoru porn.)
Now, at about this point, you're probably thinking, "Okay, but what about stuff that isn't porn?" and it is true that there is some art and fic of them that doesn't necessarily revolve around sexual conquest and/or titillation, and which exists for reasons other than the above, although it isn't that common.
Most of that work is also wish-fulfillment, just of a different nature. It tends to fixate more upon the idea of Yoruichi as a "mature" woman (as opposed to Rukia, Orihime, Riruka, and to some extent Nelliel) while also not carrying the pseudo-incestuous undertones of Ikumi, who overtly presented herself as like Ichigo's big sister he never had, and who nonetheless comes across as motherly toward him because she's actually a mom. Yoruichi doesn't have that same issue and is therefore a less "weird" older woman for Ichigo to be attracted to, yet one he actually kind of interacted with substantively unlike, say, Rangiku. Rangiku also lacks the "hot for teacher" element, as would Retsu, Kūkaku would actually be incestuous, and so on. (Ostensibly people like the idea of Ichigo with Bambietta and/or Candice as an enemies-to-lovers kind of thing? And because it's a mostly blank slate, they can do whatever they want.)
So, basically, Yoruichi is the "cleanest" option for putting Ichigo with an older woman he actually has some known interaction with. It's simply expediency by process of elimination.
In both cases, pretty much none of this ever has anything to do with what Yoruichi would think was attractive, appealing, supportive, sexy, and so on, and is almost always and forever to do with what the creator thinks would be aesthetically appealing. This is generally true of almost all Yoruichi ships, but I'll come back to that later.
So, is there some way it could it work out between them?
Not in canon. There is no possible canonical or pseudo-canonical telling of events where Yoruichi would have any interest in Ichigo. I'm phrasing it as an absolute because in my understanding there is no way Yoruichi would ever show any actual attraction toward Ichigo. He's too young, he's too naive, he's too foolish, and he generally just gets on her nerves... exactly like Yūshirō. In fact, she derisively makes the comparison herself in chapter 629:
If she sees him as anything in canon besides as a project to be babysat, she sees him as an annoying younger brother. I don't really think I need to explain that no matter how much "closer" they became platonically, she would never have any interest in him romantically.
So, to reemphasize: anything with YoruIchi within or near canon is ridiculous and out of character and is purely for the sake of the creator or audience.
Now, do there exist alternate universes where Yoruichi could find some (older) version of Ichigo appealing, say if they were much closer in age? Like, a human verse where she's 27 and he's 23 or 24? Yeah, sure, that's possible. I can readily imagine a version of Ichigo that could appeal to a version of Yoruichi, under other circumstances. That Ichigo would probably have to be a mixture of Ichigo at his most mature (circa FKT) and at his most confident (early Bleach) in terms of personality in order to get her attention.
Here's the problem though: Kūkaku exists, and she already is that without all the extra baggage.
To return to my point on Yoruichi ships in general, they generally exist to service the creator/audience, or their actual fave. As I have laid out here, YoruIchi mostly exists to facilitate fantasies which Ichigo is standing-in to enable. UraYoru generally treats Yoruichi as Kisuke's prize and accessory that he regularly gets to fuck as a reward for being so awesome. YoruSoi broadly treats Yoruichi as Soifon's prize for showing such "piety" and "faith" toward her "idol", which she "deserves" because "she loves Yoruichi so much" (in an ironic reprise of how most IchiHime that I have seen, regards Ichigo as Orihime's prize for "loving him so much").
Because you've happened to catch me on a day where I've taken my meds and I am very actively and continually choosing violence (I'm listening to "Set The World Afire" by Megadeth on loop as I write this), I'm going to go over the other two a little more before proceeding onto my final argument.
The entire "Yoruichi and Kisuke are childhood friends (to lovers)" construct is a misunderstanding that comes from a failure to understand the nuances of Japanese-to-English translation, to appreciate that Shinigami do not experience time and growth as humans do, and to appreciate that characters are often vague and imprecise in their speech, if not outright lying.
When Kubo answered in Klub Outside recently that Aizen was aware of Kisuke even before Kisuke and Yoruichi met, the correct solution to that was not to assume that Aizen met Kisuke in the Muppet Babies playpen, it was to realize that "very young" for a Shinigami can extend out to their 100th to 150th birthday, or even more. Shinigami appear to categorize periods of their life by relevance to their current existence, not strictly by chronology, and this is likely a function of their nonlinear aging. Time in the strictest sense is less important than the major events in their lives, and takes on a relative nature, which has a long history in Japan anyway. You might consider this as like the "11 lives" concept. Yoruichi met Kisuke a few "lifetimes" ago, a time which she now considers "very young" in her life. That's all.
With the childhood friends angle thrown out, we come to the idea that Kisuke and Yoruichi are in fact good friends, which I dispute. As I think much of this blog serves as testament to, people are generally not particularly interested in figuring out who Yoruichi is, why, and why she does what she does, let alone what she may have been up to. They're not interested in analyzing what is known, because if they were, I would not be discovering and presenting a lot of these things for the first time—they would be well known already. So, when people fill in Yoruichi for UraYoru, they fill her in in such a way as to accommodate and coddle Kisuke, their actual blorbo.
I find that disrespectful to her in the extreme.
I will also tell you that YoruSoi is the exact same thing, simply lesbian as opposed to het. The actual blorbo is Soifon, and she is "awarded" Yoruichi for her troubles in the exact same way.
I actually personally find YoruSoi even more absurd, to be honest. First, because the misunderstandings that created UraYoru are simpler to understand, second because YoruSoi overwhelmingly only exists in the anime, but third and foremost because YoruSoi is presented as this great triumph of sapphism in response to the icky heteronormativity of UraYoru, and yet it somehow exists in the face of the now well-known LGTBQIA+ meme, "historians will say they were just very good friends".
That is exactly how people treat Yoruichi and Kūkaku, without a single hint of irony or self-awareness, even as they proclaim how "obviously" gay Yoruichi and Soifon are for one another.
Now, people are free to ship what they like, but I want to be fully clear that I am immovably of the opinion that both those two ships exist exclusively to benefit Kisuke and Soifon, and always twist Yoruichi to suit what they think would accommodate those two most. They do not exist, and have never existed, for even a measure of Yoruichi's sake. She is an object within them.
She is also an object within YoruIchi, as already documented, and we come to the sixth and final reason why it exists: because people can correctly surmise that she belongs with a Shiba, but they do not have the courage or honesty to admit which one and accept that that equation doesn't include a penis.
Wrong Shiba.
(Much like Renji is clearly far more fascinated with Kuchiki Byakuya than he is Kuchiki Rukia. Wrong Kuchiki.)
As I have previously written:
But this is the truth: we have an incredibly sensual, sexual love poem by an incredibly sensual, sexy, powerful (brown) woman, which is clearly directed at her “best friend”, who is also an incredibly sensual, sexy, powerful woman. And that really brings us back to this post. WLW content from Japan is about cute fluffy innocence, not the intense female “When you’re both TOPS” energy that Yoruichi and Kūkaku radiate together (which I will again note was also present in CFYOW). Japan still isn’t ready for that today. It sure as hell wasn’t ready for it in 2005. And yet there it is nonetheless.
The world is simply not ready to accept YoruKū. This is especially hilarious in a world where CaitVi is currently running wild to rave acclaim.
(To be super clear here for the sake of nuance that nobody cares about: it is not "if you don't ship what I ship, you are wrong and bad", it is "if you ship these things I feel that you lack respect for Yoruichi and thus your ship is invalid and illegitimate in my eyes", and yes, there is a distinction.)
Basically, as far I'm concerned, only cowards ship YoruIchi. I'll be waiting at the adult table for them when they grow up and develop a taste for more than chicken nuggets and hotdogs with ketchup on them.
#Out Of Character#Long Post#Asks#anonymous#Meta#Link: NIGHT SKY#Adult Themes TW#[ I'm sure something in this is controversial to somebody ]#[ and I am just beyond giving a fuck ]#[ people know where the unfollow button is ]
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Hello! May I request a Shunsui x female reader that takes place before tybw where the reader and shunsui are betrothed but for what ever reason reader dosent want to and therefore dosent particularly like shunsui until finally they start being attracted to one another and they have a spicy night together?
A/n: Hi @mizugami!! Firstly, I'm sorry for the delay. I was prioritizing the other requests because they were quicker to make than a scenario like this one and that's why I ended up taking a long time. I hope you like it ❤️
Tw: Nsfw content below
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Everything seemed to have happened so suddenly that you still wondered if you really wanted that. You liked him, but for some reason you feel like you still didn't know much about him to move forward with it. He, on the other hand, was more extroverted and had an easier time showing his emotions and didn't hide that he loved you, and you don't doubt in any way that he loved you. You thought about a second chance and spending some time with him to try to get closer to him too and also to see if your relationship with him improved.
One night, you were returning after he took you to dinner and now you were walking back home. He and you talked about different subjects or each other's events, he liked talking to you and you also couldn't hide the fact that despite him sounding stupid most of the time because of his silly personality, he still maintained a good posture around you and managed to be serious. In the last few days you felt very close to him and that made you a little more confident and what also revived the feeling you wanted to feel for him. You seemed to still be pondering these thoughts but his hand holding yours was what diverted you from them and brought you back.
"Are you okay Y/n? You seem a little distracted"He said, stopping a little on the way and looking at you "Yes, I'm fine" You said a little nervously after his eyes were on yours and his hand felt so warm holding yours "Are you sure dear?" He insisted "Yes, don't worry" You smiled
He smiled back and you both keep walking until you got home, where you entered in bedroom and sighed tiredly as you removed his flowery kimono from around your shoulders that he had once given you because of the cold night air. His chivalry was a quality, the one that stood out most to you.
"Do you want some?" He asked you after entering the room with a bottle of sake "Yes" You agreed
He poured both glasses and handed one to you, he always used to offer you some even though he knew that you often refused because you were afraid of getting drunk, he knew that and that's why he only used to serve you once and only serve the next drink if you allowed him.
"It was a good night" You said, sitting on the small ottoman in the corner of the room while he sat on the edge of the bed, facing you "I think I should leave my position as captain to someone elseso that I can have free time to spend the whole day with you" He smiled at the idea "Even if you did, you wouldn't enjoy that time because both your lieutenant and the head captain would kill you for it" You added before taking some more of the drink and he laughed "Yes, you may be right, but it would still be a good idea" "I also like spending time with you, this week it was difficult being togetherand I think that's keeping us apart…" you let out a sigh, bringing the glass to your lips again "Do you feel insecure about something?" He looked at you, making you stutter a little at the sudden change in his expression "No…I mean" You fumbled a little with your words but he got up and knelt in front of you holding your hands "You can talk, I will listen to everything you have to say and help you"He seemed understanding and that only warmed your heart even more "Things will only be resolved if we talk" "Yes, I know, it's just…I think this was a little sudden, it's not that I don't like you, I love your way and the things you showed me and..." "Do you need time to reorganize your feelings? I'll give it"
You looked at him in silence for a moment, reflecting. You weren't lying when you said that you liked his presence and everything about him, despite how suddenly it was, he didn't stop revealing his character and showing all his qualities and imperfections. Being his subordinate in the eighth division also taught you many things and you had also known him for years but you were no longer just friends, you two had a relationship.
"I can give you time, as much as you want" He said
His chivalry was what you admired most, maybe you should really give him an opportunity and forget about time and doubts after all you promised to be for each other in everything. You looked up and looked at him, his eyes always sparkled when he looked at you and you had to admit that it turned you on a little. You initially didn't feel like you could be attracted to him but after these recent events things ended up changing a little, especially for the way he looked at you.
"You know, I think…I think I don't need time, I need you" You said and he frowned a little giving a slight smile "Of me ?" "Yes, maybe I should trust more in us and in what we have done throughout this time" You said decidedly "I see, and are you really decided? It's because I don't want to do anything that you don't want or don't feel good about" He said, revealing once again his chivalry and respect for you "Yes, I'm decided. I want it and I want it now" You placed the glass on the side table and leaned over it as he was on his knees in front of you "If you say so, dear, I won't refuse but show you that it's worth it" He said in a hoarse and whispery voice next to you
His breath against your lips, his eyes possessing yours and making you shiver, deep down you knew that no one would look at you in that unique way like he did. Unique in everything, especially his gaze. He brushed his lips with yours and kissed you slowly while you tried to make sure you didn't fall off the ottoman with all that softness. When you separated, he extended a hand to you and you held his, standing up and looking at him. The moonlight outside coming in through the window and lighting up his face.
"I promise to take care of you" He whispered, moving a strand of hair behind your ear "Thank you" You whispered back feeling your heart lighter
He returned his attention to your lips again and kissed you once more but this time there was flame and desire, his hands running down your back, taking off the dress you were wearing to go out. He could look at you dressed like that for hours without getting tired and still give you a ton of compliments.
You felt your exposed skin shiver as the dress fell right at your feet, you removed his clothes, sliding them over his shoulders without leaving his lips. His proximity, his lips, his hands removing the rest of his clothes, everything about him was leaving you asking for more. He picked you up and took you to the bed, laying on top of you, your hands held his shoulders while he lowered his lips to your neck and kissed you. Everything seemed hotter now than before, his body so close to yours and your breathing heavy because of him, he could take any woman's breath away despite them taking him for an idiot.
He went down to your breasts where he sucked your skin and your fingers started running through his wavy brown hair. His hands touched were caressing them, he kept his lips in the middle leaving a few kisses while one of his hands slid down holding the hem of your panties and that was when your legs shook slightly. He got up and knelt between your legs, looking from your chest rising and falling to your flushed face and your shining eyes. You removed the last missing piece and threw it aside with the others clothes, opening your legs and revealing your wet slit to him and seeing the desire in his eyes increase.
"You look so beautiful now Y/n-chan" He said, starting to leave kisses on the inside of your thighs, scratching your skin lightly with his stubble
You moaned when he reached your bud, sucking and pulling it lightly between his teeth, you squirmed feeling such a good sensation running through you and leaving you crazy and lost in his lips tasting your flesh. Your fingers grabbed his hair, relieving the heat in your folds caused by the excitement and his tongue passing through the middle and increasing the viscosity oozing out of you. The butterflies in your stomach only increased with the proximity of the orgasm you were feeling, your thighs tightened around him as he continued sucking on your clit and giving you wet kisses around it.
"I'm close…I-I'm so close" You whimpered feeling your empty insides tightening and your legs closing around his head in the middle of them
His tongue took care of licking every droplet that came out of you until there was no more left, he licked his lips looking at you and getting up. Your eyes followed his and you could feel your body burn in that tension as you watched him removing his pants.
"Come here, love" He said, sitting on the mattress and patting his thigh ordering you to sit on his lap
You lifted up just enough to see him in front of you with one hand on his thigh and the other touching himrself while he looked at you, that excited you and made you even more eager to take him. You placed one knee on either side of him and held his shoulders while maintaining eye contact with him, he couldn't deny that your gaze were seducing him.
"You have such beautiful eyes, my dear Y/n" He whispered to your lips before kissing you "And your such a gentleman, Captain Kyoraku" You said between the kiss "Thank you for---" His sentence was interrupted when he released a small moan as you sit down on his dick. "recognize it" He gave a smile and you kissed his neck while running your hands along his back marking it with your nails "You're welcome, my love" You whispered close to his ear and gave him a light bite on his earlobe
He grabbed your hips as you slowly rode him making him sigh heavily against the curve of your neck, you brought a hand to his face to hold it and kiss his lips. You tighted him inside you more and more as you rode him faster, one of his hands around your waist keeping you close to him and the other on the back of your neck, deepening his lips against yours. You were becoming panting and all your moans were muffled, your panting breathing colliding with his and your fingers digging into his shoulders. You broke away from his lips to let out a whimper when he brought his hand to the middle of your legs, brushing his fingertips against your bud, sending goosebumps down your spine.
"Come to me, my beautiful petal" He said in a hoarse and breathy voice next to his ear. "I know you're close"
You held his forearm while his fingers increased the circular movements while you rode him and at the same time feeling your insides tightening around him, which led him to release some moans and long sighs. You arched your back and tilted your head, releasing yourself on top of him and feeling him fill you shortly after, now with both hands on your waist and his lips kissing your breasts. You had never felt so good as at that moment, everything seemed blurry and spinning, you were tired and shaking. Besides being a charming man, he was sinful and that led you there, but you didn't regret it one bit. He attracted you more than you thought and said.
"Are you okay, love?" He raised his gaze from the valley of your breasts to your half-closed eyes "Yeah…just a little tired"You said while combing the hair that stuck to the sweat on his forehead to the side
You saw softness and affection in his eyes at that moment, you could no longer say that you weren't attracted to him after what he gave you. That had been too good between the two of you. You leaned over him and kissed his lips again and rested your head on his chest.
"Let me take care of the rest for you" He withdrew from you and just hugged your body close to his again and placed a few kisses on the top of your head, running his fingers over your skin "I love you" You said in a low voice before closing your eyes and starting to sleep, with your head against his chest
He looked at you, smiling, watching you fall asleep and kissed your forehead.
"Me too, my dear Y/n-chan"He whispered
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Finally getting around to sharing my latest sewing project!
My boyfriend - John - and I started rewatching Bleach some and are in the middle of TYBW and, in doing so, I was reminded of just how much I love Urahara Kisuke as a character. It also made me remember how much I wanted that haori he wears, only to then realize I know how to sew now and have adult money with which to buy materials at the fabric store where I work and can find said materials I like best. So I did that! It was a lot of trial and error to learn how to make it cuz I hadn't made anything like it before, but it was so worth it! It's genuinely so warm, but not, like, super heavy. I really like just wearing it around the house and I've worn it out as well.
To be clear; I wasn't necessarily trying to make a cosplay. I jsut happened to have the cane (dressed as Kisuke for Halloween once over a decade ago and just still had it), I happened to have the hat, and I unironically use the fan at my Joann Fabrics job cuz air conditioning is for losers, apparently. Having that stuff was more of a bonus for when I shared some pictures. I also have a black cat, but she's being a brat and won't sit still for a picture.
Anyway, John has talked about possibly cosplaying Shinji and me as Urahara in the future, but I dunno. Guess we'll see. We do have a couples cosplay we're planning for Bleach, but I'mma hold onto that for a while. ;)
#Bleach#Urahara Kisuke#Kisuke Urahara#sewing project#haori#handmade clothing#so sorry for any of my face that you can see#I cannot take a good photo to save my life#also sorry the lighting is so bad#the lighting in this house is not ideal#also wtf is going on with the Tumblr app?#I tried to make this post like 3 times#and every time got an error message#had to move to the desktop for it#like what?
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If you could pick just six Bleach characters for the story to focus on, who would they be?
Not sure how anyone could ask me this and think the answer was not going to be the Six Hearts crew, but the answer is, in fact, the Six Hearts crew.
For the most part, I really like Bleach the way it is. I am not a beefer with canon. At least for the first half to two-thirds of it, I find that Bleach has just about an optimal mix of main character focus to interesting side character ratio. I like that it sprawls. I like that a lot of side characters have really rich and interesting back stories that the main narrative gives you little bites of, but leaves the rest to the imagination and/or filler materials. I like stories that give you a lot of space to write fanfiction.
Now, the back half of the Winter War and nearly all of the TYBW did, in my opinion, sprawl too much. The Fake Karakura Town arc used up all my patience with the pillar fights and I spent the rest of it going "get back to Hueco Mundo, already." I definitely would have liked the TYBW to focus more on the core group of characters.
On the whole, though, I like that core the way it is. To be honest, it wouldn't be Bleach in any other way.
Ichigo is the heart of Bleach. His struggles are the themes of the narrative. He is not an everyman character. He is someone who cares so much about the world that he wants to save everyone, but at the same time, he understands and fears the weight of that obligation. His ability to empathize with his enemies-- his inability not to-- is what sets him apart from every other shounen protagonist.
Sometimes I see fanfic where someone else gets stabbed and given shinigami powers other than Ichigo and it's always worse. The only character I accept being swapped in for him is Orihime, and, frankly, that only works in a fanfiction, meta-narrative context, primarily because you need a much better depth of character to be a really good love interest, and I don't think Ichigo has what it takes. Orihime does, though! All of the forces in Bleach pull Ichigo toward the path of battle, but Orihime's stalwart pacifism and unwavering belief in him are the strings that tie him to the world, that keep him human.
I suppose you could swap out one of Ichigo's other school friends for some other member of the Six Hearts crew and probably have it still be okay, but I wouldn't, because their existing dynamic is perfect to me. Uryuu is Ichigo's Classic Shounen foil, but he legitimately challenges him constantly and forces him to think critically about what he's doing. Chad is so full of love and heart and birds land on him like a Disney princess. He is there to balance everyone else's manic energy, except that he's only marginally more thoughtful than the rest of them, so he does not interfere with the general air of stupidity. A lot of people wish Tatsuki had gotten powers. While I don't love the way she is sort of left hanging, I am not sure that she would improve the dynamic. Perhaps it's because she isn't given powers, but she always seems to represent fear to me, the sort of bad-side of attachments that prevents the sorts of leaps of faith the other characters are so inclined towards. The Six Hearts crew being made up of objectively smart people who make absolutely idiotic decisions based on their hearts is the crux of Bleach, and I think Tatsuki brings sort of a rational energy that really dampens the mood.
Rukia is Rukia. Rukia is The Character of All Time. Rukia is the catalyst that sets all else in motion. The other reason that I don't really like Bleach main character swaps is because the decision to illegally give all her powers to some kid she just met, using a maneuver that she probably read in the appendix of a textbook somewhere and involves stabbing him is not a thing most people would do. It is a thing Rukia would do. The way Rukia trains Ichigo and the things she expects from him and the things she expects from herself and from Soul Society are fundamental to the narrative. Rukia stays.
There are many people that would argue for swapping Renji out of the core cast, but I think, for the sake of Rukia's character, it is absolutely essential that there's another shinigami character along for the ride. Rukia is friends with the Karakura kids, but she is not one of them. She is not a teen. She is an undead adult who has deep ties to Soul Society and the Gotei. The culmination of her character arc all ties to Soul Society: becoming vice-captain and then captain, making bankai, earning her brother's acceptance, reconciling with her childhood friend/love interest. Several of the anime filler arcs have her living in Ichigo's closet again and hanging out with the kids, and I think her character suffers for that.
Anyway, thinking over other shinigami characters, there's no one I would pick over Renji. He fits right into the rest of the crew, both powers and personality-wise. He's cool and strong and good-looking, but he's also a simp for Rukia, and Rukia deserves that. Also, he's a high-ranking Gotei officer, which is often convenient for plot purposes. Most importantly, he is my chief blorbo and I love him, the end.
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AND NOW, Time for Another Pikes Check-In Update Thingamajig!!!
Basically this is just where I post current interests/events in life to see if other people are currently sharing the same interest, or if people just wanna catch up on things.
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:
What I'm Watching
Seasonal anime: Summer season's just starting so of the ones that caught my interest at the moment are the following
Might see if Helck is good when it airs
I'm getting tempted to reactivate my Netflix account for My Happy Marriage but ehhh maybe when Beastars airs again. I do like stories where characters go through absolute shit but get better lives and heal from their experiences
Undead Murder Farce: I really like the character designs, and I love the snark of the protagonists. Hopefully it's like Appare Ranman but with Victorian England instead of 1910s-1930s America
Jujustu Kaisen season 2: Sucks that the airing schedule seems to be whack (first 5 episodes will be normal, but then it's gonna be on hiatus until like. October) but I love the OP, ED, character interactions, and the Digimon joke.
Bleach TYBW: Bleach was my choice of shounen as a youth and it's got me in an iron grip of nostalgia. Is the writing terrible at times? Yes! Do I still love it? Yes...for certain characters nowadays
Apparently Nier Automata's making a comeback? Hope so. It was hinting at big stuff when it last got hiatus'ed
MAL says Dungeon Meshi is gonna air this season but I doubt that
I'm also gonna watch the new Superman cartoon since a friend's letting me borrow another friend's Max account (I COULD technically reactive my account, but I hate how WB cut most of their projects & library for tax write-offs). And I'm 2 episodes away from finishing Iruma season 3, so once I'm done with that, it's onto Saiki K to watch during my lunch breaks when there isn't a seasonal anime to watch. ...Though I'm kinda wondering if I should swap it for Nanbaka now... Eh I already had the poll, so might as well stick to the poll until I finish Big O
What I'm Playing:
Just finished the 2nd labyrinth of Persona Q. I'm not really looking forward to replaying the 3rd labyrinth since it's horror themed. (Plus this was around the time I actually had to start playing with a guide because of a few FOE puzzles. Gonna be distracting to do so as I play). That being said I love that this combines EO dungeon exploration with Persona combat. Makes me wonder if I should try to get back to EO4 or see if I should get EO3 on modern consoles
Other potential interests: Ghost Trick (got the special edition right when I was in the middle of my Persona Q replay), 999 on Vita (solves the issue of not being able to play the updated version at work), possibly get back to Personas 2-5 (after I read the manga for the first game; keep forgetting to do that), maybe explore my Steam library since I have a few games there now thanks to the summer sale, maybe get back to playing Fantasy Life until I get to Al Majiik (though I forgot how tedious it is to grind for jobs). Just man. While I'm sad there's no FEMC for the P3 remake, I'm still super excited for it
Though with that being said it feels weird to buy games I already own just on different consoles. It'd be one thing if there were remakes/reboots, but nah. I just have Nier on both PS4 and Steam now. Game collecting's a weird hobby, but one I enjoy nonetheless
Other Stuff:
Anxiety spiked a bit today after seeing discourse start to pop up here again & cringing at past mistakes I've made, hence the checkup post you see now
While I'm cool with my job, I don't like how it consumes so much of my free time/energy. If I can get paid enough to work 4 days without me having to do 10 hour work days, that'd be pretty neat
Barbie movie's in a few weeks oh boy
Another con's happening at the end of the month, but it will be like 3 hours away. Gonna go with a friend then but hopefully my car sickness doesn't kill me.
Then the next con I definitely want to go to is in September
And after that I'm gonna see Hadestown with another friend
Not sure what to do for a Halloween shindig with friends. And it might be the brainrot talking but I kinda wanna go as Shinjiro from Persona 3? Though I also want my coworkers to recognize my costume, so I might need to start looking for Vampire Hunter D attire now.
THUS ENDS THE CHECKUP!
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Hello! Little update~
I reached 1k followers on here, thank you so much everyone!! When I opened Bleach 2022 requests I was around 420 (haha) mark and it’s incredible to see the growth now, I truly appreciate it! ;w;
Things got busy for me for so I apologize for another gap break of the Bleach requests. Unfortunately, the gap will extend; I have to work on some personal art for a passion project(s) at the moment but I’ll still try to weave in the remaining requests if I can! 。゚(゚´ω`゚)゚。 As of now I have 7 Bleach requests left! If the break is still ongoing, I most likely will work on them when TYBW season 2 airs.
Thank you everyone again for the huge milestone and for all the support! 💕
kayomin
#kayomin#update#2023#my twitter is linked so feel free to stop by for any updates!#possibly will have pics of me in cosplay for anime expo this year oop#other than art i also post wips of art :D
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Shunsui Birthday Blurb
Okay so this is the first time I’m writing something like this. If you have any tips for me to get better, please let me know in the comments or message me. I want to get better at writing in the story sense just so I can write some nice things for myself. (Like I love the black reader tags with all my heart and soul but I really need some fluff right now 😅 So if I get better at this, I’ll start writing some fluff soon).
So of course my inspiration comes from the fact that Bleach, one of my fave anime shows from when I was a kid, returns and I get to see the love of my life Shunsui again.
You know it’s funny. When I was a kid, I always liked Shunsui. He was funny and laidback and him and Jushiro were the best friend dynamic I always loved. But I also thought he was super cool and really intuitive because he was really good and looking deeper into situations and because of how he presented himself outwardly, people would think he’s assuming and he would use that to his advantage. BUT he was still a captain and was mentored by Yamamoto so everyone new there was something special about him. And he was always like a teddy bear to me because he did show a lot of care and considerations to others as time went on.
And now that I’m older, that just morphed into him turning into my man my man my man because well…. HE’S GREAT! I don’t know what to tell you.
Now with TYBW coming back, we get to see more of his character and how he thinks because he was made soutaicho. I also want to do like my own head cannon deep dives into his character because he’s really just an overall interesting character. That’s what these little blurbs are for. It’s going to be out of order because TYBW is ongoing and I’m able to keep up with it easier than the old series (which I’m rewatching right now) if that makes sense.
Also I am going to write in his perspective. If there is any instance where I accidentally mess that up in the writing, please let me know.
And I’m going to be mainly basing this off the anime, I am going to read/re-read TYBW and update these when I have the chance and time but right everything is anime based.
But yeah. Sorry for being long winded. Here’s my writing below under the read more button. I hope you guys like it too.
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TYBW Ep 1: The Blood Warfare
Warnings: Anime spoilers but other than that none. Again if I missed
something let me know! 🙏🏾
Something’s off with the air today but what? I don’t know.
I’m sitting and drinking some sake looking out the window from my office. Well, more like nursing it really. I haven’t drank much of it because today just doesn’t feel right to me.
On the Karakura side of things, everything seems fine. The usual hollow appears, we send Soul Reapers to handle the problem. But if push comes to show, we have them and, most importantly, him on our side to help.
Ichigo Kurosaki and his friends, Orihime Inoue, Yasutora Sado, and Uryu Ishida.
He’s one interesting child alright. He’s got us out of tighter spots with dealing with everything that’s happened.
So much has happened since Rukia has met.
It feels like it was just yesterday that he ran in here with his friends to save her from execution and then everything happened so fast.
Aizen, Tousen, and Gin, to a major extent, were revealed as traitors. The Bounts emerged again along with Ran’Thao and ultimately became extinct. The arrancars and thus Aizen returning. The Fullbringers. Kisuke returning to clear his name and the downfall of Aizen’s plan.
We’re lucky to have him help. It’s unfortunate he’s so young. Not just in soul years (?) but just in general human years as well.
I have a feeling that fate is not done with Jim’s and his friends yet but we’ll have his back. Besides knowing him, he’ll want to help even willing to risk his life in the process.
But something weird is going on here. Whole communities in the Rukon district have been disappearing without a trace. The latest incident being in Sabitsura, the West 64 District in Rukon Ikkaku and Yumichika, the 3rd and 5th seat of Squad 11 are there now helping with the investigation.
I wonder if they’ll find something in this dis—
“Hm?”
Someone’s spiritual pressure disappeared just now. I have a bad felling about this—
Someone else’s spiritual pressure is gone…
…..It was Lieutenant Sasakibe’s. I knew something was wrong with today.
It’s only a matter of time before Old Man Yama calls the captains together again.
“Captain Kyoraku.” Nanao’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“Oh, Nanao. Haha. Looks like you found me. What is it?”
She furrowed her brows and I can see the worry and stress in her face.
After a brief pause, she finally tells me, “Soutaicho Yamamoto has called for an emergency Captains’ meeting and has asked for all Captains to report to him immediately.”
I stand up and put on my Sugegasa hat to get ready to head to Old Man Yama and the others.
“Okay. I’ll head over immediately.”
Walking out the door and heading to the meeting place, I can’t help but wonder.
How bad is this going to be?
I should’ve known that peace in the Seireitei would be fleeting and would only last for so long.
With a deep sigh, I said to myself, “I guess it’s time to go back to work.”
#shunsui kyoraku#bleach#bleach tybw#shunsui bleach#Shunsui Kyoraku writing#writing#fanfic#bleach fic#anime#anime fic#me#my writing#anime spoilers#bleach imagines
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BLEACH THOUGHTS !!!! 🎤
EJJJJJ WHAT UP BABY ! ? ! ? ! ugh i’m so glad ur here bc we can revive of ej + sosa bleach podcast the tumblr edition 🙂↕️ this brings back old memories <3 bleach tybw cour 3 spoilers below ‼️‼️
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because speaking of old memories, gosh, watching this episode felt so….refreshing in a way? literally like a breath of fresh air or going to one of ur favorite places after not having been there in a long time; this is exactly how it felt to return and revisit kubo’s masterful work 🙂↕️
after watching today’s episode i realize how desperate i am for a refresher of some sort like i feel almost lost because i haven’t watched any bleach content in a long time— and its been a year and some change since cour 2 and its like i’m skydiving out of a plane, i need to get acclimated with the story and the characters again, just a tad 😭😭 but one thing is for sure i am really glad they spent the first half of the episode recapping us from what happened last cour by showing us the senjumaru’s bankai + yhwach v. ichibei again, very much helpful ! and seeing uryū’s battle prowess and his style of fighting was just SOOO amazing and he looks so cool and i remembered i love him😭😭😭 glad he got his time to shine and i hope he gets more time since tybw has already been adding in extra scenes and details
now let’s talk abt that OPENING AND ENDING SEQUENCE ! absolutely phenomenal idk who was in charge of that but i hope that person or people have icy cold pillows to sleep on tonight 🙂↕️ the monochrome palette with bright colored eyes that pop out against an otherwise dull shot was just so cool to look at !! seeing everyone in the op and ending themes just made me miss everyone like how it really has been too long :((
need to make a separate paragraph for ichigo because…….ichigo. nuff said. (i miss my boyfie so much but i can’t string the words together rn bc im half asleep and im still trying to process my excitement)
and AIZEEENNNNNN OMG i already said it in disc but his 5 seconds total screen time throughout that whole episode was one of the best parts as well like I WAS SILENTLY (S)CREAMING MY MAN IS COMING SOOOO SOON! the way they’re building up the anticipation oh my days the pacing is pretty good so far ! think i mentioned this to u as well in disc except i can’t remember but SHUNSUI !!!! ive been think abt him quite often leading up to today’s premiere seeing his few seconds on my screen was also exhilarating
oh…and those two shots of juushiro…………..no i’m not well like UGHHHH i know that’s gonna be so emotional when they get to it, i just know i may cry bc i was sooo so so sad when i read it 💔💔 but enough of my yap fest, please please tell me what ur thoughts are 😝
#*☆゚. destinies cross ── asks.#i love having a bleach brain rot <3#<- it was ESSENTIAL and imperative that i brought back this tag#it’s sos iconic
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Commentary below the cut!! <3
Wahahahaaaa I loveeeee the premise of this fic so much. I mean, the beach and the ocean, ALWAYS, but specifically its setting after and with attention to the Hell chapter. The anxiety that looms over everything and especially the way it digs at other, persistent post-TYBW elements (namely lifespans in the additional context of now potentially re-emerging as a creature of Hell) is the tastiest thing in the WORLD to me. And I love the way you write Hitsugaya attempting to contend with all of this and feeling alone in that. He can’t be, not really, but his concerns are particular and that sense of isolation ratchets up in this balmy beach setting so, so well. Even though thick humid air and ocean waves can conjure feelings of placidity I think they work equally well in pointing toward the restive qualities of air pushing down, the enormity of an ocean. This kind of thing is my favorite thing IN THE WORLD, and with my FAVORITE CHARACTERS?? What a pure delight.
I copy-pasted a bunch of lines and scenes into a sticky note as I read, so I’ll just go through those chronologically. This might be a bit scattered:
- I love Hitsugaya trying to discern whether Hinamori feels any of the same unease, but also feels her as a calming presence.
- Also, everything about this line: He’d struggled in a similar way with the peace, always hypervigilant of a new threat that could appear after the war against the Quincy. He wishes he’d never lost that feeling, then maybe he wouldn’t feel as though he were struggling to stay afloat. Especially the notion of wishing he’d never lost the feeling, because I can see where he’s coming from, it makes sense, but it is so, so sad, because we’ve had the opportunity to SEE him at peace and happy in the epilogue and it’s heartbreaking to see him look back on that with some regret, in the face of new information, or an impending new threat.
- But the beach trip isn’t without its unassailable charm, in spite of this darkness! Ikkaku’s gleaming head as he swims laps in the ocean, LOL. And I am obsessed with Hitsugaya’s “Enjoy, I guess” to Ichika. Simple but perfect. The cadence.
- It’s then he feels how tired he is. It’s not lethargy from the heat, it’s something deeper. Something that was the result of holding back too much, and maybe, as she waits for him to elaborate, it’s time she knew about it. Gah, the physical toll of vibrating into the anxiety dimension alone, holding things in that cannot, actually, persist that way—cannot be held in such a manner. And there’s so many impossible layers to why this is so hard. It is literally existential, and a huge cosmological deal for all shinigami of this class, which is terrifying it itself but for them particularly, I think, because of what it means to be at risk of being the next thing that destroys everyone they care about and everything that work so hard for and believe in. I think even without the element of Hell, Soul Society does a lot of swallowing itself and being the executor of its own hardships—wittingly and unwittingly. And in that sense, Hell is such a slap in the face because in addition to the politics of Soul Society being kind of a mess, its as though that mess is basically fated, as though no amount of fixing is going to upend anything. And the immediacy of these existential questions also feels very distinct for Hitsugaya, because he knows there’s a countdown clock on him, even if he DOESN’T end up dying in battle a lot sooner.
In the manga the “shortened lifespan” thing is mentioned in like, literally half a line, and I have never stopped thinking about it after I first read it. Because on one hand, yeah, I buy that there’s no way all 9999 terrible things that happen to Hitsugaya and Matsumoto (and Kensei and Rose) in TYBW would have no lasting consequences. I get it. But on the other, 9999 terrible things happened to them, and now they also have to carry this? Help. All told, shinigami seem pretty willing to die if that’s what it takes, but so much of Bleach is characters each learning—really learning—how to value life, and I feel like this element makes that process feel jolting and electric to the touch. I really love the way this fic weaves all these elements together and starts making something of them. I want to read 9999 more fics about this.
[The next few bullet points are just going to be me dying over and over again, as a forewarning. XDDD]
- I love the briefest glimmer of a mention that Hitsugaya’s matured form bankai is not something he thinks is pleasant. Like, it hurts, it is exhausting. He’ll do it anyway, whenever required, and it’s not a thought he lingers on here. But he has it, and it’s there. And that coupled with his sense that he’s probably not going to make it to that age naturally? HELP. Especially that image of a window of possibility narrowing and narrowing. I love it so much, also I am in agony. It takes me back to his line about dying on an ice field that you referenced most recently at the end of one of your earlier HitsuHina week pieces. It’s such a dire sentiment but made all the more harrowing by the fact that I really don’t think he’s being overdramatic. It’s not an empty worry by any stretch.
- But that’s coupled with this extremely daring hope—daring that seems to come easily and naturally to Hinamori when she assures him he will not die. She says it with such finality, and I love the conviction of it even as she’s worried about him and wanting to hear what’s going on inside him and wanting him to find some kind of peace or pleasure in this beach trip, too.
- Eventually, she raises her head and steps closer. “Are you scared?”
It hits him in the chest like a stone thrown into glass. For a second, his blood runs tight and cold in his limbs. His heart skips a beat, then clenches. He can feel hairline fractures running through him, threatening to break apart. Momo hadn’t hit the nail on the head, but she knows one facet of what is going on within him. Help help help this description is SO GOOD and Hinamori’s question is SO GOOD and everything about this scene is SO GOOD. Aaaaaaa
- And after all that, to still feel so unsettled about an uncertain future “a future that will likely not be his”—what a terrible feeling, to look at an inexorable storm at the horizon and realize that the only thing worse than it coming and you being there for it is for it to come and for you to NOT be there (or to be part of the storm itself, because this world can twist like that).
When I was gearing up to write this comment I literally had this fic open in a tab for like an hour because I was just like “I love it so much what can I possibly say, how do I say it.” It is just so chock-full of all the things I most want to think about and experience at all times and they are all so beautifully rendered. <3333333 SCREAMING. I ADORE THIS.
On the Shoreline
Hitsuhina Week: Day 6 - Something beautiful / Waves
Prompts: Waves, stars, vacation together
Rating: K/General but with mild themes
Setting: some time after the No Breaths From Hell oneshot
Synopsis: Upon Momo’s suggestion, Toshiro joins her and a group for a break at a seaside town. However, with his mind is heavy with recent revelations, he wonders why they are all there.
AN: Once again, I’m writing something for both @yearoftheotpevent's challenge and Hitsuhina Week.
This really started as one thing and completely transformed into something else! I was intending to do a short piece about Toshiro and Momo taking some time to relax at a beach, but nope, the angst had to get in there and not only make this fic longer, but change the whole story.
Do I think the Shinigami would actual do this after the events of the No Breaths From Hell one shot? Nope, but I wanted to try it out anyway.
In terms of music while listening I can recommend (in no particular order): Recollection 1-3 , World #07 Blues, going home, and compassion by Shiro Sagisu from the BLEACH osts, And She Translated into Sky by Levi Patel (Spotify or YT) , and Skel and Andra by Sigur Ros (Spotify or YT). If I had to recommend when to listen to these songs, I only three I feel strongly about are listening to And She Translated into Sky, Skel, and Andra in the last section of the fic, where Toshiro and Momo are walking on the beach ;)
Hope you all enjoy it!
__________________________________
Toshiro watches the heat sizzle on the horizon. Despite the sweat dripping down his temple, he doesn’t wave the uchiwa with any vigor. Eventually, he glares at the few clouds in the sky, all too far away to block the sun.
“Why did they have to pick a damn beach of all places?” he grumbles.
He tries to ignore the commotion going on inside, where everyone is trying to decide who is going to stay in which room. He should be in there, but it’ll only irritate him further, and for once it wouldn't just be from everyone’s usual antics and pointless arguing.
It had been a two months, but how can they all be acting like this after what happened?
He tilts his head down and waves his fan faster. He knows everyone has their ways of coping with things, but he'd have thought there would still be some discussion about what happened, even if it was only in passing. Why does it feel like he's the only one stuck on the revelations that came?
The door slides open and Rangiku pokes her head out, looking to the left, and then meeting his gaze when she swivels her head to the right. “There you are! What’re you doing out here?”
Toshiro pushes himself off the wall. “Are you all done in there?” he asks dryly.
“Yeah, everything is sorted.” She grins as if all the arguing hadn’t just occurred. “You know it’s cooler inside, right? When did you leave?”
“Doesn’t matter. Which room am I in?”
Rangiku huffs and steps out of the foyer, closing the door behind her. “I get that it’s hot, Captain, but you really need to relax.”
“I only came because they needed someone to supervise all of you.” That’s not entirely true, and she knows it. It had been Momo who invited him, Rangiku and Granny who encouraged him to accept, and Shunsui who had assigned him and Rukia with watching over everyone – all the while grinning and lamenting that it had been over a decade since Toshiro had a proper holiday in the World of the Living.
“It’s lucky we came at the very beginning of summer, there’s more rooms and not a whole lot of people on the beaches around here. You’ll be able to use Hyourinmaru to your heart’s content.”
“For all of you, you mean.”
“Oh, Captain, don’t be so cruel, I know you’ll use it more for yourself than anyone else!” He goes to rebut while she rummages through her short’s pocket, but he stops when pulls out a key and hands it to him. “Besides, I did a good thing for you! Like you requested, you’ll have a room to yourself with aircon.”
Oh, thank goodness.
“It’s between Madarame and Yumichika’s room and Abarai and Kuchiki’s rooms.”
He wilts. As if the heat isn't bad enough.
_________________________________
Walking into the First Division's main hall, he’s reminded of the days during and after the Quincy invasion. Most of the captains had arrived, but the usual chatter and carrying on is absent.
Iba, who stands closest to the entrance, is the only one who acknowledges his arrival. “Captain Hitsugaya,” he says with a nod.
Toshiro does the same in return as he walks past. "Iba"
Kensei, his arms folded tightly over his chest, leans against a wall next to Shinji, who’s gaze is off to the side, lost in thought. Sui Feng paces from one corner of the room to the other, each time passing Isane, who looks flatly at the ground. Lisa stands in another corner, reading one of her books, her face hidden from view.
Kenpachi, surprisingly on time for once, stands near the meeting hall’s closed doors, his back turned. As Toshiro approaches though, he shifts to look down at him. He grunts in greeting, and looks away. It’s somehow both like him and uncharacteristic of him to act in such a way.
Byakuya and Rukia both arrive, and the quiet discussion they’d been having before dies as soon as they enter the hall. Like him, they’re only greeted by Iba and try to find a place to stand. Byakuya glances at Toshiro and gives a nod. He returns the gesture, and watches as Byakuya and Rukia choose stand next to Isane, who barely manages a smile to Rukia. Both look like they want to say something, but neither speaks.
Toshiro chooses his place, standing near the meeting hall’s entrance but away from Kenpachi. He folds his arms into his sleeves and keeps his gaze on the main hall’s entrance.
The air is tense, and the silence quietly rings in Toshiro’s ears. It’s only broken when Rose and then Mayuri arrive.
The latter starts to speak – what he says Toshiro doesn’t pay attention to but it's enough to make Sui Feng stop and say somethign back to him. Their impending argument is interrupted when the meeting hall’s doors finally open.
Shunsui stands on the other side, his usual smile and casual air nowhere to be seen. Everyone files in and takes their place in the hall. Despite the solemnness of their movements, Toshiro can feel the urgency among them.
They need to discuss what happened. They need answers. How do they stop this? How many of their own had they sent to Hell over these centuries? When would their new enemy next strike? What can they do to defend themselves?
What if this conflict doesn't end like the others? What if they die? What is they have to face their own?
_________________________________
“Let’s go get some ice cream.”
Toshiro blinks out of his revere and lifts his head from his propped-up hand. Momo stands beside the table, smiling and holding a straw hat. He hadn’t even sensed her coming into the lobby.
When the small table fan propels back in his direction, sending a welcomed gust of cold air over his face, he remembers to speak. “Aren’t you going shopping with Matsumoto?”
“Yes, but you should come along too. We can grab some ice cream before we go.”
He scoffs. “Forget it.”
Momo puts her hands on her hips. “Honestly, Hitsugaya-kun, you haven’t left this inn once since we got here!”
“We’ve only been here for a day, dummy.”
“Even so! Don’t you want to see what it’s like around here? It’s been a long time since any of us have been to a new location in the World of the Living.” At his blank stare, she sighs and drops the hand holding her hat to her side while the other points to the left. “At least come out and get some ice cream then. There’s a stall down just down the street.” Then, with a rueful smile. “Besides, you know how long it can take Rangiku-san to get ready.”
He almost lets a chuckle out. He rolls his eyes to the ceiling. Even when not looking at her, he can sense Momo’s persistence. She’s always been stubborn, and he’ll never understand why it always came out whenever it involved getting him to go to places he's never been.
He exhales, making a sound between a groan and a sigh. “Fine.”
To his surprise, Momo doesn’t reach out and grab him to drag him outside and down the street. She puts her hat on, waits for him to stand and leads the way out, patient with his slower and sluggish movements. Before leaving the table, Toshiro grabs his uchiwa.
As soon as they step outside, he considers turning back. It’s hotter than this morning, and there isn’t a cloud in sight to cover the sun.
Momo senses his hesitation and gestures towards a stall a short distance away. “It’s just down there.”
Logically, he knows it’s less than a two minute walk to the stall, but did he really want to make the journey?
“I’m pretty sure they have a peppermint flavor.”
That doesn’t really sell him, but he’ll pretend it does. With more irritation than he intends, he grouses, “Let’s just go.”
Thankfully, Momo doesn’t take it personally and giggles. “You really like peppermint, huh?”
“It’s one of the few good flavors for ice cream.”
“Mango and strawberry are good too.”
He only grunts.
Their shoes clack against the pavement, and where possible they stick to the shade of trees and awnings of shops. Save for the few passing cars, the singing of the cicada, and the distant crashing waves, it’s quiet. There are only a few others outside, going about their daily lives.
He fans himself as they walk, but it doesn’t cool him down much. Heat radiates from pavement through to the soles of his shoes, and a sweat is building on his brow. The humans and Momo walk around as if nothing is wrong. How can they stand this heat?
The gust of warm wind certainly doesn’t help matters. It does, however, make him aware of Momo’s hat. On one side of the hat’s band, there’s a cluster of small flowers, coloured different shades of pink and cream, and two short cords a sparkling bead on each end sway to and fro across the brim. It looks like something she would personally pick out, she always had an inclination towards clothes with floral designs on them.
He had picked some of his clothes the week before the trip, but the rest were chosen by Rangiku. He always had an inclination towards darker colours – like the navy blue tank top and grey shorts he wears now - while she always seemed to find the right balance in brighter colours for him. For all of her faults when it came to going nuts on clothes shopping, she always knows what fashionable clothes to buy.
“The others want to go to the beach later,” Momo says. “Are you going to come along? Or is it too hot for you?”
He waves a dismissive hand. “Is Kuchiki going?"
"Yes."
"Then I’ll stay back, she can supervise."
He almost goes back on his word at her saddened frown. “Well, it’s supposed to cooler tomorrow," she says. "You’ll come then, right?”
He can't say 'no'. “Sure.”
Once they’re at the stall, he relishes the chill emanating from the glass display and the cool wind of the fan whirling behind the counter. There’s not too many flavours to choose from, mostly just the popular ones.
Momo pouts. “Ah, it’s a shame they ran out of strawberry.”
He points to the mango flavour. “You could just get that.”
She shrugs. “Maybe, but I like to have two different flavous when I can. What do you think would go well with mango?”
Toshiro considers, perusing each flavour. Eventually, he points to the best one he can think of.
Momo snorts, her fingers pressing over lips in an attempt to suppress a giggle. She fails miserably at his incredulous look.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…Peach?”
“It’s sweet, so is the mango.”
“But…did you pick it because of that reason or because it reminds you of -- ?” She starts giggling again.
Why are his cheeks burning? No, this won’t do. He’d honestly picked it because he thought the two would work together. “As if I’d picked it for that reason! We’re not children anymore!”
Realising the commotion they’re causing, and sensing the growing queue behind them, Toshiro is quick to order his two scoops of peppermint ice cream in a cup and storms off to the side, waiting for Momo under the shadow of a table’s umbrella.
Trying to ignore the stares of a few of the humans, he takes the small plastic spoon and digs in. He’s pleasantly surprised; it’s one of the better ice creams he’s had, and it’s quite cold. Gradually, with each spoonful, it has the effect of both cooling him and his annoyance down.
Did she really think he chose peach because of her name? Did it remind her of when they were kids and he’d only remember to buy peaches when she was there? That hadn’t happened since they were very young.
Momo joins him almost a minute later, and they set off back to the inn. She takes a spoonful of each scoop, and he’s about to grumble about the fact she went for his suggestion in the end until she cringes.
Her whole face scrunches up and she makes a sounds between a yelp and a gasp. For a second, he fears she’s hurt. "Wha--?"
"It’s really cold!"
Now it’s his turn to hold in a chuckle. He too fails, and he doesn’t do anything to stop it, even as she complains.
“Oooh! You knew, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” he chortles.
“Just because you have a tolerance for the cold!”
“You’re being childish, Hinamori.”
“I could say the same for you, Shiro-chan. You could’ve warned me!”
“That’s ‘Captain Hitsugaya’, Hinamori.”
Feeling he got the last word in, he smirks and slowly eats his ice cream right in front of her. She half glares at him. It’s not long before she lets out a huff, and what little irritation she had leaves her. "It's not a big deal, I'll just have to take smaller bites, and at least it tastes good.”
They continue on the pavement. Despite her bravado before, she still hestiates when she scoops up smaller bits of ice cream and eats them. He smirks, but otherwise doesn't tease her like before.
For the first time since he got here, he feels himself easing a little, and he looks to the source. Momo always has this effect on him at certain moments, where it was just the two of them and no one would be interrupting them. Maybe it’s seeing her this relaxed and content, it makes him want to be the same. Even as they were at the stall and browsing the ice cream flavours, he didn’t feel the usual apprehension to interacting with the person behind the counter – an old habit from his day in Junrinan, he’d realized years ago – because she was there with him.
It's not enough to lighten his mind of the thoughts that weigh him down, but they don’t churn in his head like waves in a stormy sea. He could put into words what has been bothering him. He could tell her right now, and maybe he’d be lighter. Maybe she’d already know and understand, because maybe she is still thinking about these things too.
“Hinamori…” He trails off when she looks over her shoulder at him. Momo walks in front of him in bright and colourful clothes, nothing like the uniform she takes pride in. She cradles the cup of mango and peach ice cream that’s already starting to melt. Her cheeks are flushed – or sunburned, he dreads – and up until now she’d been smiling. The little flowers and cord on her hat flutter in the wind, small and strangely fragile.
He walks past her. “Forget about it.”
She quickly comes in front of him and asks, “What is it?”
It’s rare for her to prod. Had he detected a hint of desperation in her voice? Had she noticed something in him and had been wanting to ask? He wouldn’t put it past her, she and Rangiku both have that uncanny ability to sense when he’s off kilter even when he doesn’t show it.
But now is not the time to tell her.
“Just make sure Matsumoto doesn’t spend too much, she could end up using Division funds.”
He maintains a stoic exterior in the face of her small, unconvincing smile. “Of course.”
_________________________________
A stick of incense had already been lit; someone else had visited Jushiro's gave before him. It won’t be long before it’s completely burnt out.
Toshiro makes his prays while the incense still burns, putting his hands together, closing his eyes, and bowing his head.
But what can he say? No words or sentiments come to mind. Not even hopes or wishes.
He does, however, recall a few memories of Jushiro. The first of when he first met the older captain; his long, white hair was tied back and he looked less pale than when Toshiro last saw him. He remembers the bags under his eyes getting progressively more prominent, and his absence from meetings becoming more frequent. At some point, the hair tie disappeared. His smile and optimism though, that only vanished in dire situations, but they always returned with as much mirth and sincerity as soon as the problem has been resolved.
How sharply those two things stood in contrast to what had transpired at this very spot.
Toshiro recalls with a repressed shiver the Jigoku no Rinki that had floated in the air around the grave just a week ago. A sign that the balance had been tipped, that Hell held enough power to break the peace. And they gave them that power. It was the price they all paid for becoming as strong as they did. This was the price they paid for allowing Aizen to grow as powerful as he did, and for imprisoning him when he was one of the beings keeping the balance from tipping. The irony sickens him.
He opens his eyes. Why is he here? Could Jushiro even hear prayers from where he is?
To think Souls like Jushiro are ending up there, fighting against all of it’s creatures and victims. He had no way of warning them of what they’ve been doing all of these centuries. What had he endured?
He can't keep the other possibility from turning over in his mind, and it makes his stomach churn. What if he isn't fighting against the creatures of Hell, but had become one of them?
Ichigo had told the captains what he'd seen who he'd fought against. Amongst his recollections was Sogyo no Kotowari, but the description he gave was not like the bankai Toshiro knew. It sounded warped and elongated to the point of being unnatural. He’s certain Hell had altered the former captain in more than just his bankai. How much has his appearance changed? Would he recognize Jushiro if saw him?
And not for the first time, Toshiro wonders if he will have to cross blades with him.
_________________________________
“Goodnight, sir,” Rangiku says while leaning on Momo and Hisagi. “Call if you need anything.”
Toshiro, his back turned to her, rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “We’re back at the inn, Matsumoto. Why would I need to call you?”
Rangiku giggles. “I didn’t mean on the phone!”
Momo laughs nervously. “But then he’d wake up everyone else, Rangiku-san.”
Rangiku considers for a moment, her head swaying from one side to the other. “…Oh yeah.”
“You sure drank a lot, huh?” Hisagi says.
“Hey, you drank too!” Rangiku retorts.
He chuckles. “Yeah, but not as much as you!”
Even in the dark, Toshiro can see the flush in his lieutenant and the Ninth Division's cheeks. He knows for Rangiku it's the sake, but for Hisagi it's a guess between the alcohol or from being that close to Rangiku.
Why am I even paying attention to this? Toshiro wonders.
Mercifully, they reach Momo and Rangiku’s room.
“Thank you again for paying for dinner, Captain Hitsugaya,” Hisagi says with a bow of his head.
Momo smiles at Toshiro. “Yes, thank you Hitsu – Captain Hitsugaya.” She waves her free hand. “Goodnight, and sleep well.”
Toshiro gives her a half-hearted wave back and half turns away.
Hisagi opens their door and helps Momo get Rangiku into the room as she groans about having drank too much. He comes out a few seconds later, closing the door behind him and walking into the room just opposite.
Toshiro remains in the hallway after Hisagi shuts his door. Save for a few shuffles in Momo and Rangiku’s room, the faint snoring from Ikkaku and Yumichika’s room down the hall, and the waves crashing in the distance, it’s dead quiet.
He should go to bed, but goes back the way he came, coming down to the ground floor and then out into the back courtyard. There are tables and chairs scattered throughout, some with umbrellas and others not. Beyond them, a railing lines a wooden deck that extends out to give a view of the main beach in the distance. Beneath him, only the streetlights, outdoor lanterns, and neon signs of bars, restaurants, and a convenience store illuminate the town.
He goes to the railing and rests his forearms along the top. The moon is a crescent, and he can still make out the tide crashing and receding. For the first time since he got here, it’s quiet. He’d longed for a moment like this, by himself and in cooler conditions. He thought it would be what he needed, but as he looks out over the town, it doesn’t take long for his mind to wonder. None of the humans here - or anywhere for that matter - truly know what is happening. If they did, how would they react?
His mind recalls the few times he was sent on a mission to the World of the Living, believing he was saving their world and keeping the balance. His subordinates would've felt the same, he imagines. Are they working on the reports he and Rangiku left behind right now? Are the captains and lieutenants still working to try and find out more about Hell? What if Hell is planning an attack? What if he -- ?
He shakes his head, then lets it fall to rest on his arms.
He pivots his mind to what had happened just a few hours ago. With the exception of Rukia and Ichika, they’d all gone to a shokudo for dinner. Rangiku had gotten started early on the sake, encouraging Hisagi, Ikkaku, and Renji to join her. It didn’t take long for the four of them to be carrying on, quibbling one minute then laughing together the next. He sat next to Rindou, who signed to him and the others about the food and what he had done today at the beach and in the town. Opposite them, Momo sat between Nanao and Kiyone, but every now and then she would glance in his direction. When he caught her, she’d either smile and return her focus to either Nanao or Kiyone, or she’d ask him something: ‘What did you order to drink?’, ‘How’s your dinner?’, and ‘Do you need extra ice?’.
It was a light-hearted atmosphere, but far removed from how he felt. Again, he wonders how they can act like this after everything they’d seen and heard. he almost had the urge to scream at them. Why weren't they discussing what they'd learnt? Why weren't they back at the Soul Society doing something about this?
But more than that, as he’d stared into his dinner, and as he glares at his feet now, he wonders why he can’t be like them. He can carry on professionally, continuing with paperwork and scheduling and leading his division, but outside of that…
He’d struggled in a similar way with the peace, always hypervigilant of a new threat that could appear after the war against the Quincy. He wishes he’d never lost that feeling, then maybe he wouldn’t feel as though he were struggling to stay afloat.
With a sigh through his nose, he straightens and walks back to his room. He doesn't plan to go to sleep, he knows he'll just be staring at the ceiling. He'll take Hyourinmaru, go somewhere secluded, and train.
_________________________________
“Why do you persist in coming here every week?”
Toshiro stays placid in the face of Mayuri’s irritation. The Twelfth Division captain hasn’t looked over at him, too focused on the readings a console produces.
Around them, there’s six division members busily doing the same, but two whisper their findings to each other and note them down on clipboards. However, every now and then, each officer glances over in the direction of the two captains. The only Soul who doesn’t is Nemu, who sits next to Akon and watches him as he types things into the system and explains to her what he's doing.
While being led to see Mayuri by Akon just a few minutes ago, Toshiro noticed in other lab rooms how frantic the officers were. They spoke in clipped whispers, and were quick to turn their backs when they realized he was passing by. By comparison, this lab is calm.
Toshiro folds his arms into his sleeves. “Perhaps it would be best if we speak in your office, Kurotsuchi.”
“And why should we do that?”
With a final glance to the others in the room, he says, “I’m checking for any updates on the de-zombification side effects.”
Now Mayuri whips around to him, his headpiece almost hitting the back of Akon’s head; neither his lieutenant or Nemu flinch. “And it’s as I’ve said: we’re still investigating all avenues.” The Twelfth Division Captain thrusts a hand to his console. “As is, we have more urgent matters at hand. Hell has made itself known, and we have been tasked with investigating how the Jigoku no Rinki was able to appear here, among other things. As a captain of Gotei Thirteen, you must say this take precedence, correct?”
Toshiro withholds a glare, because of course Mayuri is right. He should leave it there, just thank him for his time and go, but he’s lost his patience. “It’s been over ten years,” he whispers.
“And you rarely asked me about progress in those years,” Mayuri retorts, choosing to not lower his voice in return. “Suddenly, you’re in here every week and disrupting our work as a result.”
“It’s not my intention, Kurotsuchi.”
“Then explain yourself, if you would be so kind.” His voice is almost venomous, but Toshiro doesn’t back down.
He closes the gap between them and keeps his voice quiet. “The last progress you made was over three years ago, and it got shelved when the last solution failed to produce any results. As far as I’m aware, you haven’t explored any other options since, or if you have, you have not made me or Matsumoto aware of them.”
“Are you questioning my rigor? Are you not grateful anymore that I saved you and your lieutenant?”
“You know I am. If not for you, we would’ve died there and then. I am simply asking why you haven’t --”
“Then leave it be! How dare you make demands when I have done that much for you!”
“Matsumoto doesn’t have much longer left to live!”
Mayuri’s annoyance alleviates somewhat, his frown deepening and turning into one of confusion. After a pause, he speaks more quietly. “It’s not her you’re concerned for though, is it, Captain?”
That catches Toshiro off guard, and he grunts in surprise. Of course he’s concerned for Rangiku, and up until now he’d had little regard for his own life being shortened. He’d willingly take the price it paid, for better or worse.
Since Hell had made itself known, however, he’d been on edge. He’d let the anxiety he kept pushing down and simmering away get the better of him. If he dies in combat now, the Soul Society would have no choice but to perform a Konso Reisai twelve years after his passing. Could they find a way to return the balance by then? He would've once unequivocally said ‘yes’, but after everything that happened, from betrayals in their own ranks to the return of the Quincy, he didn’t know anymore. If they had given Hell so much power without realizing all of these years, just how long would it take to restore the balance between all the worlds?
He has no doubt Mayuri is investigating all of this, trying to determine the best course of action for Shunsui and the rest of the Gotei Thirteen. But when would it happen? What if it took too long? What will become of him and Rangiku?
“Master Mayuri.”
Both captains look towards Nemu. The young Soul appears as neutral as her voice had been, but her hand is fisted into the sleeve of Akon’s uniform. The Twelfth Division lieutenant’s attention had also been diverted away from the console, and he looks between his captain and Toshiro, waiting for someone to speak.
Mayuri huffs, his anger cooling a fraction. “By my estimates, you and Lieutenant Matsumoto have well over a hundred and fifty years left. We have time to find a remedy and restore your lost lifespan.” He levels Toshiro with a hardened gaze. “If you continue to come here for any reason other than findings towards any of our research on Hell, I will have no choice but to report this to the Captain-Commander. Are we clear?”
To Toshiro’s bewilderment, he actually waits for his answer. He has no choice, and withholding a cringe, he nods.
Satisfied, Mayuri turns away and waves a hand towards the lab’s entrance. “Akon, escort him out of the division.”
“Yes, sir.”
Toshiro remains rooted to the spot for a moment longer. It’s useless, he knows, but he somehow hopes Mayuri will change his mind, will give him even an inkling into anything he’s found.
After a beat, he follows Akon out. Neither say anything as they walk down the corridors.
It’s not her you’re concerned for though, is it, Captain?
How had he known? Did Mayuri have the same fears? That he will perish sooner rather than later, and he too could be forced into Hell if they do not find a solution to restoring the balance between all the worlds? It’s hard to imagine someone like him worrying about such things.
But then, he did have Nemu, and for all of his faults and failings, he was treating this Nemu better than the last.
Toshiro shakes his head. Everything seems wrong. Because if Mayuri Kurotsuchi of all people can understand what he’s going through, then the world has surely gone mad.
He knows as soon as he leaves here, he’ll go train. It’s the best way to deal with the pent-up emotions. It's the only way he can think of deal with their current predicament when they lack any answers.
_________________________________
Ichika’s laughter comes through the walls. Despite the fact it was the reason for his rude awakening, Toshiro’s oddly relieved to hear it. He’d seen her in the aftermath of Hell’s invasion of the World of Living; she was pale and quiet, clinging to Renji so tight her knuckles were white. She also hadn’t bothered him with spontaneous visits to the Tenth Division office since the incident.
Regardless, after two weeks, she was running around and causing mischief like always – at least according to Ikkaku and Renji. Children have that ability to bounce back, even in times of uncertainty. He remembers when he could do it, but it is a trait that has slowly faded over time.
Toshiro groans as he sits up. A tiny sliver of daylight piercing his room through the curtains. He checks his denreishikai; it’s just after eight in the morning. He’s usually up with the sun, but being on this holiday in this God forsaken heat continues to make him sluggish.
He rises from his bed and goes to the wind to draw the curtains back. At least the clouds are back today. He has a view of the biggest beach in the area, and judging from the gleam one person’s head gives off, he guesses it’s Ikkaku doing laps in the ocean; Yumichika probably isn’t far from him, likely being one of the people sitting under a beach umbrella.
If they’re already there, then the others are likely not far behind. As if on cue, he hears Renji and Ichika leaving their room, excitedly chattering about going down to the beach. As they pass his room, Rukia comments on her husband’s clothing – “Did you pick that shirt? And what does ‘Sun’s out, guns out’ mean?” – but Toshiro doesn’t hear the rest over Ichika’s laughter.
He glances at the bag Hyourinmaru is hidden away in. He briefly recalls his training from last night - not that he was able to do much without drawing unwanted attention from locals. He'd practiced his zanjutsu in a forested area on the other side of town, and had returned to inn in the early hours of the morning. At least it had tired him out enough to make him fall asleep.
With a long exhale, he focuses back on today. If he’s going to use his zanpakuto while at the beach, he’ll have to be discreet about it; and he has no doubt the others will be clamoring for him to make shaved-ice.
He goes to the bathroom, which is several degrees warmer than his room. After showering and getting changed into a shirt and a pair of board shorts, there’s a knock on his door.
“Captain, are you awake yet?” Rangiku asks in a singsong tone.
Toshiro sighs. All of this cheerfulness is too much after just waking up. “Yeah.”
She opens the door, but she’s not alone.
“We’ve got your breakfast here, Hitsugaya-kun.” Momo holds out a plastic bag and takeaway coffee cup. “I just chose what I thought you’d might like, I hope that’s okay.”
Rangiku enters his room, but stops only a few steps in. “Captain, it’s freezing in here!” she complains, rubbing her bare arms. “How do you stand it?”
“It’s hot,” is all he says as comes over to them. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”
“We figured you could do with a sleep in,” Rangiku says. “It’s so rare that it happens, and you’re on a break, you’re supposed to do things like that.”
“I’m supposed to be supervising over all of you.”
“Supervising,” Rangiku says under breath with a sigh. “Honestly, Captain.”
“So is Captain Kuchiki,” Momo says at the same time. “Honestly, Hitsugaya-kun, it’s okay to relax even when you’ve been assigned to watch over us.”
He shakes his head. “In any event, what’s happening today? I assume you’re all going down to the beach?”
_________________________________
Toshiro watches Granny hanging the washing. He’d tried to help her, but she’d waved him off and told him to go rest inside.
“You hardly ever get a break these days,” she said. “You’re such a hard worker, but you should rest more often.”
He'd made a pot of tea, and by the time she’s done it’ll be cool enough for her to drink. He'd also set up a bowl of amanatto and placed it next to the clay cups on the tray.
As he waits, he fiddles with one of his old spinning tops. He’d dug it out from the closet, buried behind futon mattresses and other things from his childhood. He still doesn’t understand why Granny keeps most of it, she’s always been a practical person who hates clutter.
He slowly wraps the cord around the top of the toy, but never releases it. He holds it loosely in his fingers, but his gaze remains on Granny. She bends down to her basket and pulls out another sheet to hang. In isolation, it's a peaceful image.
Her life rarely changes. She still goes to the same stalls and shops for food and household supplies. She still drinks the same tea blends, washes the same clothes and linens, and wakes up and goes to sleep at the same times every day.
Her life is simpe and despite it’s repetitiveness, it’s unplanned. Things are just the way they are, and they work for her.
For the first time in decades, he wishes he could return to that life. Even with all the negatives that came with it, compared to life he leads now, it’s peaceful and far less complicated.
He planned things to a fault, he should’ve known it would be his downfall one day; or at least, lead to disappointment when something came and ruined everything. Of course the peace couldn’t last, something had to disrupt it. Life is never the same, it's never consistent. How long had he expected it to go on for?
But that was the thing. He never made plans for the peace, he had simply lived in it. It was almost like his life before he became a captain, only with more responsibilities he could handle.
Granny turns to him after hanging up the last of the washing. Her smile widens when she spots the teapot and bowl of amanatto. He can’t help but smile back despite the growing heaviness within him.
He doesn't plan to tell her about Hell yet. He won’t break this peace for her.
_________________________________
It’s far too hot, even under the shade.
Toshiro lies his head and torso over the picnic table, a cup half filled with melting shaved ice in one hand and a spoon in the other. The shelter above and around him is made of wood and obstructs the view of onlookers that weren’t on the beach. Combined with having so few humans around, it allows him to discreetly use his zanpakuto to make shaved ice in one of it's corner.
Rangiku had gone out and bought bottles of syrup, paper cups, and wooden spoons from a nearby convenience store. All of it is stored in a freezer bag along with a bucket of the ice he’d conjured up five minutes ago. Hyournmaru lies out of sight in his own bag, but the cold flowing form the blade brushes along the floor of the shelter, cooling his feet and ankles. He considered himself a glorified placeholder for the table, and so long as he is here, no humans would come along and accidentally spot his weapon.
With some effort, he raises himself to take another spoonful of slushy ice and munches on it. He watches the group on the beach, all doing various things. Ikkaku and Hisagi race each other, doing several laps in the ocean. If it weren’t for the heat bearing down on him above and the hot sand between the shade and the ocean, he’d be doing laps himself.
He slides his gaze over to Kazui and Ichigo, both wading into the water while Orihime collected seashells along the shoreline ; they’d taken the train to come down for the day. Orihime finds a shell that makes her grin and she jogs to the Abarai family. Ichika makes a sandcastle with Rukia, giggling when Renji comes up behind her with a wreath of seaweed and tickles her with it before draping it over one of the walls. It’s then Orihime gets their attention and hands them a few seashells to decorate another wall.
Further up the beach, Nanao walks up to Rangiku, who sunbathes on a towel. She lectures Rangiku about something -- likely the fact she's sunbathing in the first place -- and his lieutenant squints up at her in response. Yumichika, relaxing under an umbrella, makes a comment which makes Rangiku snap at him and Nanao wearily rolls her head to one side.
Rindo, Momo and Kiyone had gone for a walk up the beach to the rockpools. Toshiro spots them as specks in the distance, and the footprints they'd left behind are gradually washed away every time the waves surge in.
He takes another spoonful of shaved ice, then eases back down to the table and begins to doze off. There’s only the darkness beneath his eyelids, the crashing of waves, the hot breeze that blows through, Hyourinmaru's cold circling around his ankles and the distant voices of the Shinigami and humans. He can’t relax, ending up in a state between being awake and on the verge of napping.
It’s twenty minutes later when he’s startled by a call of his name. He opens his eyes and turns his head just in time to see Kazui and Ichika racing towards him. He lets go of his completely melted shaved ice to raise himself up.
“Captain Hitsugaya!” Kazui calls out again, grinning.
“He heard you the first time, dummy!” Ichika chastises.
He thinks to lecture her about calling Kazui a dummy -- it seems like the responsible thing to do -- but someone beats him to it.
“Don’t call Kazui-chan bad names, Ichika-chan!” Momo calls out from behind. She pants and tries to keep her hat on as she rushes to catch up to them.
Ichika blushes slightly in shame, but otherwise doesn’t respond. Kazui isn't phased, his grin still in place.
With as much energy as he can muster, Toshiro lazily waves his hand in greeting before the children come to a stop in the shelter. “Babysitting?” he says to Momo.
She shakes her head. “They just happened to be on their way to see you too.”
He returns his attention to Kazui and Ichika. “You two looking for some shaved ice?”
They both nod eagerly.
“Papa said you make the best shaved ice ever,” Ichika says.
I’m the only one here who can, he thinks. He only grunts as he twists around to the freezer bag. The ice had gotten more slushy, but it's still usable. “Which flavours do you want?”
“Watermelon!” they say in unison.
Toshiro smirks. “Good choice.”
He takes out the syrup and puts it on the table, then scoops two cups into the ice and sticks a spoon in each. He hands them over to the children. “It’s all yours.”
As expected, they go crazy with the syrup, completely dying the ice red. Momo intervenes before it can get too messy, making sure most of the flavoring stays in the cups.
“You two should eat that under the shade,” she says, pointing at the umbrellas Yumichika and Nanao rest under. “And make sure you bring the empty cups back here, okay?”
Toshiro withholds a chuckle. Since when is she their mother?
Ichika and Kazui both nod to Momo, then turn back to Toshiro.
“Thank you, Captain Hitsugaya,” Kazui says with a quick bow of his head.
Ichika does likewise. “Thank you!”
He waves a hand. "Enjoy, I guess."
They take that as their cue to run off. They go to Yumichika and Rangiku, who both cease their argument when the children arrive and make room for them under the umbrellas.
He turns to Momo, but she’s still watching Ichika and Kazui. She's flushed across her cheeks and shoulders, and sand dusts her shins and sandaled feet. Strangely, he senses hesitation from her, as though she is nervous about turning to face him. It’s in her posture, which though looking relaxed to most, has the signs she’s trying to hide. Her arms are loosely braced over her midsection, and her shoulders are a few inches higher than normal.
“You want one too?” he asks, getting her attention.
Momo shakes her head, smiling. “Oh, no, I was just coming to see how you were doing.”
He ignores the small, warm flutter her concern sends through his chest and takes an empty cup out of the bag. “You might as well have one.”
She considers for a moment. “…Well, it is getting hotter.”
“Orange, lime, or watermelon? Matsumoto didn’t buy mango and the strawberry is empty.”
“You remembered?”
He hides his embarrassment by saying nothing and stooping lower than necessary to fill up the cup with ice.
From behind, she giggles. “In that case, orange please.”
He fishes out the syrup and a spoon before he twists back around and hands everything to her.
“I’m sure everyone appreciates you doing this,” she says while pouring the syrup.
“Feels like that the main reason I’m here,” he mutters drily.
“That’s not true!”
“I didn’t mean it, dummy.”
She makes a sound between a sigh and a chuckle. “Now who’s calling people bad names.”
He rests back down on the table, watching as she takes a spoonful of orange ice and chomps down on it. She gives an appreciative hum and her smile turns into a grin. “Thank you, Shiro-chan.”
And despite her old habit, he’s certain if he were in a better mood he’d give her a small smile in return. “Captain Hitsugaya.”
She continues to eat as if she hadn’t heard him.
It feels like this is where their interaction should end, that she should walk off back to the others. She stays rooted to the spot, and it’s unnatural to him.
“You didn’t have to come check on me,” he says.
She pauses, staring down into the shaved ice. “I know.”
Why did it sound like she’d taken his comment as a jab? His frown deepens. “Weren’t you going to the rockpools before?”
“Yeah, but Rindou-kun and Kotetsu-san wanted to go out further than I intended.” She raises a foot and wriggles her toes. “I wasn’t wearing the right shoes to go with them.”
She isn’t lying, but he senses there’s more to it. As he considers whether to prod any further, she suddenly stops eating, sticking the spoon into the ice. “Have you just been lying here all day?”
He shrugs. “More or less.”
“But that’s no good. You should have something to do here!” She shakes her head. “The majority voted for a beach, but...maybe we should’ve gone somewhere else.”
“Why do you…?” Why does that strike a nerve within him? Why did she feel the need to make sure he is having a good time here? She didn’t belong under the shade, she loves the sun and places like this; most Shinigami did.
Why is he even here?
He gives a frustrated grunt. “Just go back to the others already.”
At her widened, alarmed eyes, he realizes he’d said it with the irritation he'd been trying to hide and with more strictness than he’d intended. Damn this heat! No, he can’t blame it on the weather. He’d let the heaviness in his mind get the better of him, and the uncertainty about why they are here.
He forces himself back up, ignoring the strain in his arms. After a beat, he begins to apologise. “I didn’t mean --”
She lays a hand on his. She curls her fingers loosely around his wrist, a silent way of saying he can remove himself from her grasp. Her hand is colder than usual, thanks to the shaved ice. But had they always been this small? How had he only just noticed it?
“I get it. I know the heat gets to you,” Momo says. She looks out to the sea for a pause before continuing. “I-I know it’s not much, but in the evening, it’ll be cooler. If you want to and you’re up for it, we can come back here and walk along the beach after dinner.”
“Why do you want to do that?”
“Because you deserve to enjoy the beach too.”
I don’t even like beaches, is what he’d say aloud, but he won’t.
"And…" She purses her lips, and her cheeks become a shade darker. "We're friends, aren't we? I want to spend some time with my friends. Don't you want to do the same?"
There’s that look, the one she always had when she tried to help others. He’ll never tell her how much it meant to him to see she was still capable of showing that gaze after everything she went through.
At his lack of a response, her gaze flutters to the ground. “I mean, if you’d rather be alone, then that’s okay too. Just so long as you’re able to enjoy yourself.”
“No.” He gentle extracts his hand from her grasp. She raises her head, confused.
It’s then he feels how tired he is. It’s not lethargy from the heat, it’s something deeper. Something that was the result of holding back too much, and maybe, as she waits for him to elaborate, it’s time she knew about it. “We’ll go together.”
His heart clenches at the stunned softness in her eyes. Eventually, she smiles. “Okay.”
“Oi, Hinamori-san!”
Both turn to look in the direction of Hisagi, who waves to her. “We’re doing the race now!”
“I’ll be there!” she calls back. Then to Toshiro. “I promised them I’d be the time keeper for a race they’re doing.”
Toshiro watches Hisagi, Ikkaku, Renji, Ichigo, Kazui, and Ichika all gather together on the sand. Nanao stands off to the side a small towel in her hand – probably the as a flag to signal for them to start. Rangiku uses the end of an umbrella to draw a long line in the sand.
Toshiro doesn’t see the point of racing on a beach, especially in this heat and with all of their abilities, so all he has to offer is, “Whatever keeps them entertained.”
Momo backs out of the shelter, and with the spoon still in her mouth, says something to the effect of, “I’ll see you later.”
He watches on as Momo rushes down and takes her place next to Nanao, who hands her a stop watch.
Kazui quickly eats the rest of his shaved ice, while it seems Ichika had passed hers to Rukia. She and Renji are amping each other up, but Ichika bursts into laughter.
I want to spend some time with my friends. Don't you want to do the same?
They've never been a normal group, but this seems in character for all of them. For the first time since coming here , Toshiro has a fleeting sentiment that he's glad they can act like they always do despite what looms over them.
_________________________________
He’s rarely wondered about the future. He always did schedules for division-related activities, and would keep appointments made in mind when planning his week or month. But he never thought of any of these things beyond what was necessary. He never considered what his own future held.
There were only four instances he can think of when he pondered on what lay ahead for him: the first was when he had to leave Granny to go to the Academy, the second was when he'd been appointed captain of the Tenth Division, the third was while he recovered from his injuries after Aizen’s defeat, and the fourth was in first few months after the war against the Quincy ended.
He’s always considered himself someone who lives in the present, who only plans for the future if the present shows him he needs to. Even then, he only went as far as he needed to, never going beyond into the 'what ifs' that weren't related to the task at hand.
Lately, he wonders how the buildings around him will change as the years go by. Will they need repairs from unprecedented weather events? Will they be renovated to look different? Will the Tenth Division get another barracks as it’s forces grow in numbers?
He wonders how tall the trees in his division will grow, and if any of them will have to be cut down.
He also wonders what beings he has yet to meet. Unless Ichigo and Orihime plan to have another child, he doubts there will be more than three humans he'll ever have to introduce himself to. He keeps away from the Arrancar where possible, but he's certain there's Souls still out there he will cross paths with more than once. What new recruits will have to introduce himself to? Will any of the captains retire and be replaced?
He wonders when Hyourinmaru’s Completed form will become his true bankai, where he will no longer have to wait for the petals to fall. He wonders if the transformation will ever be less painful or strainious.
He wonders when Hell will make it’s next move. In the next year? Or month? Or week? Or tomorrow? He can see Jushiro's bankai elongating out of Hell's gates, a grotesque distortion of what they were all once familiar with. How did the rest of him look? Would he remember who any of them were? And if he did, would he resent them for what they unknowingly did?
He wonders how much longer Granny and Rangiku have to live.
He wonders how much longer he has left.
Prior to the completed form, he could never picture how he’d looked as an adult. In a strange way, it’s as if the world has told him he won’t make it, that he will only transform into that age but not live to experience it. He can’t picture Rangiku as being older than she is, or any of the his fellow Shinigami for that matter.
That of course included Momo, who sits in front of him, talking while putting paperwork in front of him. He hasn’t heard a word she’s said. Even though he can’t picture her as an adult, he’s mostly certain she has a future as one. One where she smiles often, and still calls him ‘Shiro-chan’ because old habits die hard. She still sees Renji and Izuru for the occasional meet up, and goes with Rangiku to bars and carries her back to the Tenth Division barracks. She starts a bigger literature club, where members will talk about the books they’ve read and she will make sure everyone gets a chance to talk. He can see her taking up painting on top of the drawing she already does, and her room will have the faint smell of paints and drawing charcoal.
Maybe there would’ve been a time he could see himself there too, but that window seems to get narrower and narrower the heavier these thoughts make him feel.
“Are you all right?”
Toshiro tries to keep his reaction muted, but a startled gasp still leaves him when her hand comes over his forearm. He’s about to come up with some excuse, but her concern softens him.
“You weren’t here, were you?” she says.
He looks at the paperwork, unable to deny it.
She glances down her hand, and appears surprised she touched him. She's quick to lean back, but her hand slides off his arm and remains close by. “What’s on your mind?”
The top line of the document in front of him reads ‘Agenda for joint training session 34’. He takes a stab at what she was saying before. “It’s nothing to worry about, just trying to figure out schedules for the next three months. If we try to do a joint training session next month, it will have to be in the first week.”
Her brow twitches, trying to not frown. Her eyes search his, but again he looks down at the paperwork.
“Yes, of course.”
It’s as she says this that he realizes the document has nothing to do with a joint training session for his division. It was for one with Third Division; she likely showed him as an example of what they could do next time for a kido training session.
He bites the inside of his cheek, ashamed. He's supposed to be a captain, where was his focus?
He waits for her to correct him. Then she’ll try to pry it all out of him, because she always wants to knows what’s on his mind. He doesn’t want to snap at her, would never do such a thing under any circumstances. But this weight, these thoughts, they were beginning to take up more space within him. He doesn’t know how he’ll react to her trying to navigate through them with him.
“Captain,” she says, surprising him enough to make him look up. Her smile is small and unsure, but she persists. “Actually, I didn’t just come here to discuss training sessions. The Women’s Association is looking to fund a vacation to the World of the Living. It’s a chance for everyone to have a break from work, we haven’t had a proper one in over ten years, right?”
“Why are you bringing this up?”
Her smile almost wobbles away, but she finds the strength to not only keep it in place, but to widen it too. “I’m inviting you to come along.”
________________________________
Compared to the afternoon, the sand is cooler under Toshiro’s feet. He strolls down to the sea, hands in his pockets and head bowed. Momo is behind him, but she pauses every now and then pick up seashells.
He doesn’t stop until he reaches the shoreline. The last sliver of the sun disappears over the horizon, colouring the sky dark blues and purples. A lone boat travels across the waves to a nearby dock. Behind him, a few cars whizz by and people go out for the night to bars and restaurants. Rangiku and a few of the others are among them, going to a izakaya tonight for dinner and drinks. He can already imagine how silly they’ll be acting by the time he and Momo rejoin them later tonight on the way back to the inn.
With a shake of his head, he turns his attention to the waves lapping at his toes. The next surge sends a wave over his feet. The froth of the sea spins around his ankles and the cold of the water tingles across his skin before receding away, only to return seconds later. It’s oddly relaxing, and he’s entranced by the motions of the waves. They come and go, come and go, never ceasing. It’s been like this for millions of years, since before he or anyone he knows were ever born. It has a beginning but no ending in sight.
It’s the first time he’s been at peace since the revelations about Hell came to light. Even so, the unease threatens to bubble up from the pit of his stomach. For even if there is no end in sight he can see, the ocean will vanish one day, whether it be Hell being strong enough to destroy this world, or a more natural end much further down the line.
So caught up in this, he doesn’t register Momo approaching until she’s by his side, and flinches when she speaks.
“There’s already so many stars out,” she marvels.
Thankfully, her is gaze on the dusk sky. Gone is her hat and hair ties, allowing the breeze lightly tussles her hair around her shoulders and back. She wears a shirt rolled up to the sleeves, and a bright orange summer dress beneath it. In one hand she holds her sandals, and shells in the other.
Indeed, stars glimmer down at them. Being this far away from the lights of the town, there’s more of them then he usually accustomed to in the World of the Living, and constellations he’s never seen before.
“I can see the pear.” Momo points to a cluster of stars on the right. “Remember that one?”
One of the many silly constellations they made up as children. “If that’s somehow it, it still doesn’t look like a pear.”
“Yeah it does! There’s the stem, and there’s the rest!” As she says this, she traces her finger over each star to map it out for him. “Its just upside down.”
He shakes his head. “You always had a strange imagination.”
She scoffs. “It’s called being creative.” After a moment, she tilts her head to one side. “I didn’t think it would show up in the World of the Living.”
“Our sky isn’t much different from there’s.”
“I guess not.”
The mood has lightened slightly, but the silence that follows is filled with the crashing of waves. They can remain like this, but like earlier today, it doesn’t feel natural. He turns to her, but she still has her eyes on the stars. He can leave her to be like this, oblivious to what is going on beneath the surface.
“Hinamori.” He has her attention now. He unknowingly takes in a deep breath as his stomach clenches, but he can’t stand not knowing anymore. “Why did you invite me to this?”
The question doesn’t catch her off guard like he expected it to. Instead, she tucks the shells she’d collected into one of her shirt pockets and glides her foot through the water. “It’s a shame we all couldn’t be here, and I know what happened is still on all of our minds, but it’s good to see those who did are relaxing a little. The last few months have been tough, and we all deserve to have a break from it. To step away for a little while.” She smiles wistfully. “That’s why I invited you to come. Even though it’s at a beach, and even though it’s only for a few days, I thought it would be good to spend time with you, Rangiku-san, Nanao-san, Abarai-kun, and the others away from what’s been bothering us.”
He thought hearing her say he wasn’t the only one thinking about the revelations about Hell would reassure him, but it only serves to annoy him. He’s no fool, he knows the others hadn’t forgotten about what happened, but why use their time here of all places? They can’t have moved on, this was too insurmountable to move on from.
“Aren’t we just running away?” He hadn’t meant to voice the question aloud, and it makes Momo's brow furrow.
His voice rises as he continues. “Shouldn’t we be using this time to plan for Hell’s next attack? We know nothing about their strategy. They’ve done nothing since Ukitake’s Konso Reisai, andKurotsuchi keeps investigating, but nothing ever comes up. We’re just here, doing nothing about it.” He throws his hands out to the sides. “We didn’t even know what we’ve been doing to our former captains this whole time!”
Momo shakes her head and braces her arm across her torso, her hand holding her opposite elbow. “We couldn’t have known.”
“But now we do! And what now? We’ll go to battle, that’s for certain, but what if this battle doesn’t end like the others?”
“That we’ll lose?”
“No, not even that. That we’ll be fighting Hell for decades. The first war against the Quincy lasted years, Hinamori. What if this battle is the same? What if we lose more captains, and we’ll have no choice but to perform Konso Reisai for all of them?”
“You…really think the conflict would last that long?”
“I don’t know, and that’s…” He let’s out an exasperated breath. He’s never like this, shouting and venting his thoughts, and that only frustrates him even more. “We need something concrete! We need direction, and we won’t get that unless we’re working on it back in the Soul Society. Hell must be doing this deliberately, it's a psychological tactic to weaken us."
She looks at him in confusion and worry, an expression that would normally cool his anger and makes him reassess what he'd said. But he's in too far now, he won't stop.
“You saw Sogyo no Kotowari.”
She frowns, likely wondering where this is going. “Only at a glance. Kurosaki-san saw it up close.”
“But his description fit what you saw, yes?”
She nods solemnly. “I thought I was seeing things, but when I got back to the Soul Society and found out what was happening with the Konso Reisai, it suddenly made sense.”
“Ukitake impaled that Espada, but we don’t know for what reason. We don’t know if he is on our side or not. If he isn’t, if everyone we have sent to Hell this whole time isn’t, we’re going to have to face them.”
The grip on her arm tightens. “I know.”
“I won't to become like Ukitake,” he says fiercely, bordering on a growl. “I won't become warped. If I have to fight him and the others, then so be it. But I won't to become like them. I don’t want to…”
“What makes you think you’ll die before the conflict is over?” she asks.
He doesn't answer, can't answer as his throat tightens.
Her hand drops back to her side as she leans forward. “You won’t die, Shiro-chan.”
“How can you know that?” he struggles to get out.
“Because you’re one of the strongest Shinigami I know, in skill, in your bond with your zanpakuto, and in fortitude.” Her eyes become glassy and her voice gets increasingly louder. “Someone like you doesn’t die so easily. I know you’ll keep fighting, no matter you are faced with! You lived through so much, and survived wounds that would kill so many! You don’t give up, you’ve never given up, it’s a quality you embody above everything else! There’s no way you can die, don’t even think about it! And don't push everyone away!”
She pants for breath and bites her lip, trying to prevent tears. He’s at a loss for words. Had she too been bottling something up? Was it anxiety about Hell, or was it about him?
A wave hits the back of his shins. They both look down. When had the water gotten this high? Is the tide already coming in, or had they waded further into the sea? Wordless, he walks back to the shore, and after a moment, she follows. He halts once he’s back at the shoreline, but she takes a few steps away from it.
As her breathing quietens, Momo’s gaze searches for something in him. Her eyes are so wide, alarmed and still on the verge of tearing up. “I-I didn’t understand why you were becoming so distant, I thought getting away from the Soul Society would help, but now I think I know. Are you…?” She’s conflicted, her lips opening to continuing her question, only to close seconds later and becoming a taut, pressed line.
He’d wanted to tell her what was on his mind, but not like this. To his own ear, he’s ended up sounding both paranoid and like a child complaining about something not going his way. He ended up upsetting her. Toshiro sighs, suddenly more tired than before. “What is it?”
She still hesitates, her focus on the waves circling his ankles. Eventually, she raises her head and steps closer. “Are you scared?”
It hits him in the chest like a stone thrown into glass. For a second, his blood runs tight and cold in his limbs. His heart skips a beat, then clenches. He can feel hairline fractures running through him, threatening to break apart. Momo hadn’t hit the nail on the head, but she knows one facet of what is going on within him.
The impact she made must show, because her expression softens further. “It’s okay if you are, I think we all are. I think it’s why we’re all here. In this time of uncertainty, the only thing we can do right now is to be here with our friends. We can’t let the uncertainty of the future stop us from living in the present with those we care about.”
Or we could be planning. Somehow, the thought sounds strange, as if the sentiment behind it weren’t quite right anymore.
Momo closes the gap between them, their hands almost brushing. “If you really feel we shouldn’t be here, then why did you come?” It’s not an accusation, only a gentle question.
Because you wanted me to. She still isn’t aware of the hold she has over him, but how would she react if she knew? But her invite hadn’t been the only reason, nor had it just been Rangiku and Granny’s encouragement, or Shunsui appointing him as one of the supervisors.
We can’t let the uncertainty of the future stop us from living in the present with those we care about.
Maybe if the mood were different, he would tease her for picking up on his philosophy. In her own way, she had describe what would be his usual way of thinking. He slides his gaze to the horizon, watching the waves form, build, then curl in and crash in on themselves. It reminds him the fireworks, how they rise and flare into existence, only to scatter and fade away after they’ve exploded in the sky.
What happened to him? Why is he like this?
No, he already knows why. He swallows thickly and closes his eyes, but it does nothing to help. If he looks at the source of all of this now, the fractures might get bigger, but if he doesn't, they'll only run deeper.
And so, he opens his eyes to the stars.
“Before Hell, Kurotsuchi was working on a cure for the de-zombification process for Matsumoto and I,” he begins, his voice rougher. “That included returning the years of our life taken by the procedure, or at least, extending out lifespans to something greater than what they currently are. I expected slow progress, but when Hell revealed itself to us, of course work into a cure had ceased all together. It’s the right thing to do. We lay our lives down for the Soul Society.” His gaze fixes on her. “For our friends.”
Momo lets out a long, silent breath, her shoulders falling lower. She waits, always patient and willing to listen to him, but there's an urgency beneath it.
With some effort, he continues. “Knowing what will happen once those who obtained bankai die, knowing we can become so warped, that we can fight against our former officers, our friends. If I die before the conflict ends, that's what I'll become. I don't want that. I never want to hurt anyone on our side." I never want to hurt you again. "I didn't want..." I didn't want the peace to end."I don't..." I don't want to die.
Something drops into the sand behind them. Then, her arms around him, pulling him into side ways hug. His widened eyes stare straight ahead, unblinking and unfocused. The last time they had hugged was when the war against the Quincy had ended. Why is it they only hug when they're sad? But the feel of her arms around his shoulders, to know she's here with him, it makes him shudder, verging of a sob. He holds it back, believing it would do neither of them any good, but he turns in her arms and wraps his own around her.
“Without knowing what’s ahead, I can’t just relax like everyone else,” he admits.
“I know,” she whispers, voice tight. "With all of that on your mind, how could anyone?"
"And knowing I don't have much longer to live…"
A minute passes, and there's only the waves, which now coming up to their mid shines. The tide is definitely coming in, it wont be long before it gets higher.
Toshiro thinks to pull away, but Momo's arms tighten around him. "There's still time for Captain Kurotsuchi to find a cure for you and Rangiku-san, I know he won't give up on it. We don't know what we're up against, but that's nothing new for us, isn't it?" and he feels her smile against his temple. “In times of uncertainty and without answers, we only have each other, " she says "You look out for others, and become stronger for others. It’s why one of the reasons you’re worried about the future, right? It’s not just about fearing an early death, isn’t it? You care about everyone, you want to know what you can do to protect them for what’s to come. You want to live with everyone, right?”
His heart quivers. He’d seen everyone’s confusion and dourness for more than a month, and it did nothing to alleviate the emotions that slowly took hold of him. The peace had softened him, had made him so accustomed to seeing everyone in higher spirits. He missed it, longed for it after what they had learned about Hell. He especially missed seeing Momo that way, after everything she went through, by Aizen's hand and unintentionally his own.
He recalls how fragile the flowers in her hat looked, how small her hands seemed. He hadn't had to think about protecting anyone in years, hadn't had to be vigilant or on guard at all times, but they'd slowly been bubbling back to the surface in the recent months. When Hell comes, those feelings will come back in full force. He would never let anything harm her, not when he now has the powers to protect her.
As the seconds pass, a strange grief takes hold. He mourns for an uncertain future, for a future that will likely not be his. She has been a part of his life for so many years, and there was a time he was certain she would still be there with him in the future, but now, even if he makes it out of this alive, who's to say of she or Rangiku will be there? It's always been a possibility, ever since any of them became Shinigami, but with Hell now posing as a threat - one that has broken the peace they'd enjoyed for over ten years - it only exacerbates the chances of it happening. He mourns for the peace that is broken, because at some point without realising, he had seen that as their future. They would all go on happily, performing their duties with only the occasional hitch, but nothing that would threaten their everyday lives, the very existence of all the worlds.
The peace was too good to last; but it had happened, and he had enjoyed it with everyone else. It's the way of all the worlds; the good can only last for so long, but it never completely vanishes. It finds it's way back in smaller ways.
With a new wave smacking particularly hard into the backs his legs, he pulls away. He takes her hand, ignoring the surprised look she gives him, and leads her out of the water. “Come on, we should head back, the tide is starting to come in.”
Along the way, she stoops down and picks up the sandals she’s thrown aside to hug him. They walk up the beach and up the mounds and stairs in silence.
What they'd talked about isn't really an answer or a solution to his worries. He’ll feel this unease about the future for as long as Hell is a threat. But the waves, they ebb and flow. The stars burn until there’s nothing left; they shine brightly until they fade away. The worlds go on, with or without beings who have left them. It's both a disconcerting and calming thought.
As they near the road a few minutes later, Momo she gives his hand a squeeze. "Thank you, Hitsugaya-kun."
"Huh?"
"For telling me everything. I know it couldn't have been easy for you." Then, ruefully, "I'm sorry that this all happened at a beach."
Toshiro could almost laugh, but he manages to withhold it. "It was a majority vote for the location, there was no changing that."
He doesn't looks back at her until they stop on the side of the road. The streetlight next to them casts half of her face in white-yellow light, while the sign of a nearby restaurant casts the other in pink and red.
"You've always been like this. Willing to listen to others, to let them speak their minds." He gives her a small smile. "I should be thanking you."
She gives a embarrassed shrug. "I'm not always like that."
He could argue with her until they're both deaf about her modesty, but he refrains. "Maybe you're right. It's good to...be away for a while, even if it's somewhere like here."
"Even if you can't stop thinking about what happened? Or what's to come?"
It's not her intention, but it almost feels like a test from the universe, to see if he has taken what she'd said to heart. He steps closer, gaze intent. "It's like you said, there was no way we could stop completely thinking about what happened. I can't let these thoughts go, I can't be like everyone else . I won't stop thinking about what happened, not until we can predict Hell's next moves." He bows his head. "I'm sorry for how I've been on this trip."
She shakes her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I'm sorry for trying to force you to relax. I should've just come out and said I was concerned."
"With how I was, I can understand why you went about things the way you did. Besides, the ice cream wasn't bad. Dinner was good too, and the beach wasn't...terrible."
That gets a huff of a chuckle out of her.
"Still, I should've been upfront before we came."
She offers a sympathetic smile. "In the end, you were. We only have a day left, but please spend it however you want to." After he nods, she drops her sandals to the ground. "I should put these on before we go back to the others."
She lets go his hand to slide and clip her sandals back on.
His hand hovers in the air, and he knows he should put it back to his side. He'd done what he'd had to to lead them away from the sea. He's also never been one for physical contact beyond what was necessary in battle. But he didn't want to let go just yet.
With both of her shoes on, Momo straightens. "Do think they are at the bar by now?"
"Chances are."
He looks out to the road, lit by streetlights and lined with restaurants, bars, and closed shops. The weight within him is still there, but lighter. For the first time since he arrived, he thinks of somewhere he wants to go.
"I think I saw a takoyaki stall down there," he says, jerking his chin to the right. "Want to go eat before we join everyone else?"
Momo raises both eyebrows, but before he can ask why she reacted this way, she beams and takes his hand again. "Yeah, let's go."
#the ocean is my favorite flavor#hitsugaya anxiety vibrating through scenarios that are supposed to be fun vacations is also my favorite flavor#and fun vacations presented in the foreground of looming apocalypse is my favorite flavor too#it's a triple-scoop perfect for August!!!!#'i do not know what to say' i say as i start every fic comment#'it turns out i had many things to say' i say as i finish every fic comment#hitsugaya toushirou#hinamori momo#bleach fanfic
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someone please make a shinji x m reader fic i am so desperate ☹️ i don't even care, smut, fluff whatever just write something for this man 😭😭
#𔘓 ... personal letters#seeing as tybw is now airing#this is probably the best time to say it since i know a little bit of the fandom is alive#going nuts of the animation & shading btw#pardon the desperateness i fell in love hard with this man out of the blue#what's not to love about him!? he's goofy#shinji hirako#bleach#bleach x male reader
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random non-contextual drabble of a conversation between aizen and shinji post!TYBW:
Once again, that Aizen is being so forthcoming is…difficult to fathom. The tendency to overthink when it comes to this man is strong, as always. Layers upon layers of silken deception and subterfuge over the centuries has rendered Shinji unable to simply, blindly, trust in his senses anymore when it involves all that comes from Aizen. Every word, every gesture, every unspoken nuance. The urge to reexamine and carefully pore over it all, turn them around and around in his mind, mulling them over like maybe they will reveal hidden secrets if he looks hard enough. But that is also dangerous. Sometimes, the truth is as is. It is really not that deep. There are no buried depths to unearth.
“ Yes, barely. The Quincy sure kicked our asses good. ” Shinji does not deny, because Aizen is right. Woefully unprepared and taken off guard, struck repeatedly again and again in quick succession by a shattering series of turbulences that had shaken the Gotei to its core in recent times, the biggest of which was the audacious coup d’état perpetrated by none other than this man before him. Yet he still has the gall to sit there and talk about how he was the one who saved the day (true and undeniable, for without that strength surely they would have been destroyed), but Shinji cannot help but think that a lot of those lives lost as collateral damage could also have been preserved, if this man who claimed to only want to help had done so in a way that hadn’t weakened the Gotei to the point where it was finally advantageous for the Wandenreich to attack in the first place. The resentment is real. The simmering anger, impossible to mask. “ Are ya seekin’ praise or credit for yer meritorious deeds? Isn’t this- ” he gestures vaguely to the quasi-pleasant surroundings of the man’s paroled residence; it is at least head and shoulders, hell, an entire torso above the black pit of despair that is Muken. “ - already a nod of recognition towards yer merciful intervention, even when ya provided it with such great reluctance? ”
The thread of sarcasm that leaks from his tone annoys him, because the control of emotion is something he very much desires to keep a tight rein on whenever Aizen is concerned…but that is slowly unraveling too, in frustration. A weapon of war, Aizen had bitterly labeled himself, but aren’t they all? This is the type of world they exists in; fight to live or perish by the wayside, and Kyouraku had dragged Aizen out kicking and screaming to perform his duty. He pauses, takes a deep breath and holds it, counting the seconds for as long as he can until the disquiet is silently strangled out of existence, his lungs starting to burn. Then, he exhales…and breathes.
“ …Yer right. Yer strength saved us all. I’m grateful ya fought on our side. ” And he is. He really is. There was true hopelessness and despair, the day the Wandenreich invaded. He can still taste it now, the raw acridness of smoke and fire and destruction, the sharp tang of blood and terror and wailing grief in the air. They were so close to losing it all, until Aizen’s power surged and he pulled off that spectacular act of sacrifice completely out of the left field, buying precious time for Ichigo to finish Yhwach. Even now, Shinji wonders at the other’s motive, wonders why the other chose to do what he did, even if he knows that he will likely never get a straight answer. His eyes continue to seek Aizen’s firmly, trying to read beyond what the other allows him to see. His voice…softens. “ Why couldn’t ya have chosen to do that from the start? Ya already knew that ya couldn’t convince Yamamoto, of course ya wouldn’t be foolhardy enough to seek that direct path. There are other routes; did ya even try? How could it be that yer immediate conclusion was to plan a bloody coup? What the hell were ya even thinking? ”
Kyouraku, Ukitake. Even Unohana. The previous Soutaichou was notoriously rigid and unyielding, but even a leader would not be able to lead if his followers refused to follow. And Aizen have proven himself charismatic and strong. Inspiring, even. He had been told that the younger Shinigami had idolized him, during his tenure as Shinji’s successor and predecessor. Yet oddly enough, he steered clear of the older Captains and kept his activities low profile. “ I mean it when I say that ya’ve got no faith in yerself. I ain’t referrin’a strength and intelligence, because in those yer excessively proficient and we all know it. I’m talkin’ ‘bout yer inability to establish genuine connections with others, in a way that exposes yer vulnerability. ” All his followers were younger…and depended on him to a certain extent. Even Gin and Kaname. Even his ranks of arrancars and espadas, who were all beholden to him in a way that placed them in a lower position below him, however powerful they were independently. “ Rather than not botherin’a establish trust because ya’ve got no need for it, isn’t it more because ya’ve got no faith in yer own ability ‘ta earn trust, in a way that does not involve using yer power as a crutch or a bargaining tool? ”
He wants to hunch up like some tortoise, defensive and protective, as if Aizen will take something of value otherwise. Tensed…but also knowing all too well that the other man is not wrong with his pointed remarks. But neither is Seireitei, at least not in the ruling that had resulted in a one-hundred-year long exile for them who have been maligned and tarred, their reputations dragged through the mud and blackened…for a sin not of their choosing. Once upon a time, he was angry. Once upon a time, he raged, and he roiled with seething hatred. He was through with it all. In denial. In bargaining. In grief. And then, finally, acceptance. The past was the past. The years have tempered his fury and smothered the helpless impotence of being abandoned by the very organization they are meant to die for, that will also leave them to die unyieldingly. But this and that, are two different things.
Shinji glares exasperatedly at Aizen. “ Funny ya brought that up, seein’ as YOU were the whole main cause of our miseries. Ya wanna be thanked again, is that it? ” If Shinji is still disappointed in Seireitei and the Gotei, it is not because they had once been deemed dangerous and had to be exiled for their conditions. Because that was the truth. Back then, they had been out of control, completely out of their minds and irrational, driven by howling instinct and violence. Dangerous and corrupted beings entirely unknown as a new, forbidden hybrid of powerful entities. They were a high-risk peril not just to themselves, but to everyone around them. Those were all true. Until they had been stabilized, until they learned that it was possible to control the feral, corrupted entities that lurked in their souls…there was no telling if they would go berserk and destroy everything in their way until they had to be put down like rabid animals. Coming from the Gotei’s purview, Shinji understands that trepidatious reservation.
“ I don’t disagree that Seireitei is too entrenched in tradition and unyieldin' laws…and I don’t disagree that a fresh start might be ideal…but so what? ” he scoffs, gaze still hard, voice still low. “ How will yer leadership be any better? You, who turned us against our will, you, who made use of anyone and everyone like expendable pawns just for yer own agenda. You, who could not even spare yer own allies and the innocent. A hundred years passed, and in all that time ya managed to do more harm than good to the people whom you were s'posed to look out for. Is this yer definition of a better system? Seireitei as she is now is full of monsters, true. ”
Because even Shinji, himself, has to become one whenever it is necessary.
“ But do not think, not for even a second, that yer not also one of them. ”
#||мιѕc#hirako shinji#aizen sousuke#;;drabble#[ i gotta kick this out too -> the number of drafts i have in my folder is already in the THOUSANDS -sweats- ]#[ this was supposed to be a REPLY I THINK - but it's been so long I don't remember much anymore >.> ]
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The Fullbring arc, oh boy
Recently, I watched a video essay detailing how the fullbring arc was, in fact, the best arc in Bleach. The reasons given were somewhat compelling before I read the arc. I mean, I don’t think I could’ve enjoyed the Soul Society arc as much as I did if it wasn’t for the Substitute Shinigami arc, which still is, to me, the main reason why I got hooked on this show/manga. I daresay that the first arc of Bleach is even more enjoyable in manga format. There’s a bunch of cut content that makes it all the more addicting to me, even now.
When it comes to my impressions of the Fullbring arc in the anime, I was surprised to know it wasn’t yet another filler arc. I think that, like many others back then, ending Bleach after Aizen’s defeat was a good decision. It was the culmination of the story, and I really wasn’t sure where the story would even go after it. The Fullbring Arc was interesting as a time skip and how Ichigo would deal with being a completely normal human being while all his friends were not, but I would not have “dragged it” for an entire arc, however brief it could be.
My feelings towards this arc have somewhat changed with the manga, but not that much. I think that, in hindsight, it is a necessary arc for TYBW and it introduces a “power-up” for characters like Orihime and Chad, which will become useful for the upcoming arc. I think Ichigo’s introspection about where he would go with no powers is rather powerful, and it gets to shine a little bit more in the manga, but it is not part of my favourite arcs in this manga. Again, I don’t think the magic of the Substitute Shinigami arc will ever be reached again, though I will admit the Fullbring Arc gets very close.
I will give the manga credit where it’s due in that it made the stakes about Ichigo’s character and how poorly he could handle ever coming back to being a nobody, basically. I think it’s something not a lot of shonen manga have tackled something as heavy as “what would happen if MC lost his powers but the threats didn’t stop?”. His dependence on Ginjo and Execution built a good betrayal plotline but, and I do feel bad to say this, I don’t find any of the new characters all that enjoyable. And that’s my main issue with it. The first arc introduced a varied and interesting cast of side characters, but there’s not much of that in this arc. Tsukishima is somewhat interesting as a villain due to his power, but not much else. The same goes for the rest of Execution, who, at least to me, don’t stray too far from being tropes.
It’s a shame, really. I appreciated the flashbacks for Ginjo and Tsukishima in particular, but man do I wish we had more. Then again, that would have perhaps played against the mystery/betrayal plotline that was decently built over the span of the arc.
I don’t think I’ll continue reading the manga from this point on. I hated the Quincy arc for how rushed and outright bad it was. The anime is airing right now and I’m honestly more interested in revisiting the arc by watching the adaptation. From what I’ve heard, Kubo has the reins and will add some anime-original content to improve the arc. So far, I like the anime and I hope a certain captain does not miraculously come back to the battlefield. If he does, for any reason at all, I’ll have to wonder if the rest of the arc will be improved or just rehash the mistakes from the manga. I don’t want it to come to that.
Before I finish this post, I wanted to add one last thing. Since I mentioned Kazui in my first post ever about bleach in this blog, I do plan on making an even longer rant on the Hell chapter and my problems with it, as well as speculate as to where it could go, assuming it ever gets another chapter. I might do this old blog justice again and write something short for the Hell arc, but I doubt I will even get the time for it. We’ll see.
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I'm german, so I maybe can offer a little more insight from this perspective-
whenever I see a manji my first thought is "oh NO BAD BAD GO AWAY" because, while different things, the manji and the nazi swastika are so similar and my friends that are also into animanga have the same feelings about this, no matter the country they're from. It's just so ingrained into western peoples minds that this symbol, no matter how peaceful the origin of the manji is, is a symbol of hate, destruction and dehumanisation (there's also the theory/reason that Hitler specifically chose the manji and mirrored it to basically mirror its meaning for his atrocious acts).
Adding to that, anything resembling a Nazi Swastika is also forbidden to show in Germany (unless it's in an educational context, that's the reason a lot of games with Nazis get censored here even if they're the bad guys and we're punching the shit out of them) and because the Manji is the base of it/so close to it everyone is rather safe than sorry.
We also had an incident on one of our conventions where some people cosplayed some people from Tokyo Revengers who hadn't taped off the Manji on the coats that they were wearing and it turned out that these people were doing it because they were actual Neo-Nazis who took this opportunity to be able to wear a Swastika out in the open (other TR cosplayers taped off the Manjis)
idk how it is for other cultures around the world, but safe to say that in Europe the first association with anything that looks close to a Nazi Swastika is sadly going to be a Nazi Swastika.
basically tldr: it doesn't matter if its the same symbol or not, it is close enough and fascists and neo nazis will use this as an opportunity to flaunt a forbidden symbol.
OHH DAMN. I just figured out what the Buddhist swastika on Tanizaki’s shirt is referencing?! I’m so sad that Studio Bones had to censor it now :(
It’s referencing a very lgbtq+ (they’re lesbians, harold) book written by Tanizaki-sensei:
(wikipedia) Quicksand, originally published in Japan as Manji (Japanese: 卍), is a novel by the Japanese author Jun'ichirō Tanizaki. It was written in serial format between 1928 and 1930 for the magazine Kaizō. The last of Tanizaki’s major novels translated into English, it concerns a four-way bisexual love affair between upper-crust denizens of Osaka.
[…] The Japanese title, Manji, refers to the four-pronged Buddhist swastika, a symbol of the four lovers.
Look at what we lost. Censor the lesbians huh :((
#yeah thats basically it#it just has heavy history associated with it even if its not the nazi swastika#also its probably because of how popular anime as a whole has become#if you look at bleach from when it first aired to now in tybw you can see that ichigos handguard of his sword also changes#before it also was a manji#or a ban as the symbol is used for the ban in bankai#and yeah it was very obviously that and now in tybw it looks less like it but you can still see what the inspirations were#hope i could bring some kind of clarity 🙏#tw hitler#tw nazi#cw hitler mention#cw nazi mention
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So, did you watch episode 5 of Bleach TYBW? I'm a bit surprised by the decisions the production team made.
I did. I'll be honest, I'm not as gungho about the new anime as a lot of fans have been, but I'm trying to not be too picky about it, so I can just try to enjoy myself. Most of the shuffling around of plot points have been pretty inconsequential, especially considering how little of the plot in the first wave of invasion actually carry forward into anything meaningful after the training arc in the middle.
Gotta admit though, of all the things i've been disappointed with, As Nodt's voice being so normal is definitely not what I was expecting. A lot of the textography and voice bubbles around As Nodt's line, as well his use of katakana over hiragana, except for particles, gave a pretty distinct impression that he had something weird about his voice, even if it was just distortion from speaking through his mask, or a stilted cadence, or even a slight accent.
speaking of accents, still shocked that Mask does not have the fullblown bad westerner accent like Jack and Mary King from Getter Robo or something. I know it's far from being his moment yet, but he really feels like he should be louder and more obnoxious.
In general the sound design has really been bugging me. It's awkward and often really empty? And other times the use of old tracks or the new versions of them don't really feel like they fit the scene? I feel like there's more to it, but like I said I've been trying to avoid just throwing myself fullbody down any of these rabbit holes for convenience's sake if nothing else...
I did appreciate Meninas being worked in as Rukia's opponent, even if only barely shown/seen. It always bugged me that in the manga she just shows up lying on the ground without explanation.
It was also fun to see an idea of how Chojiro actually used his bankai. Although it felt weird that Driscoll's was a different color when "Yellow" is in the name. Plus the way they animated it, or rather just kind of didn't felt super lame. it doesn't feel particularly electric for there to just be static pillars of "electricity" standing around. What's the point of a lightning power if not the moment lightning strikes? The lightspeed crash of empty air flashing with fire and power, shaking the earth, and then being gone before you can even really register what happened.
And it totally fit with Chojiro's fencer thing, and even a bit of his western influence and the idea of him as complementary to Genryuusai's oldfashioned and supremely Japanese(tm) demeanor. I thought the manga fairly adequately got that across, but watching Genryuusai just sort of sit there under a jiggling tower of purple light was uninspiring.
I felt like there was something I was working towards when i started working down this list of things that happened in the episode, but now I've lost track of it...
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