#seeing a future yet un able to reach it

[cloudberrys-stuff]

I think everyone one can relate.

Probably

Danny never got help with his homework again

[heat---lightning]

Orc Story pt 6

Many days have past since you've been taken to the Orc stronghold. You've been trepidatious with you interactions around camp but you have grown to see these Orcs from as-of-yet-to-be-determined far off land, as nothing more than a peoples trying to resettle their lives after a tragedy.

Your captor, the old Orc, who you've learned goes by the title Cothor the Angler. From questioning carefully as to avoid offense around the encampment you learn that he and his family were once fisherman who sailed the coasts and deep rivers. This clue along with the architecture of what looked like upturned hulls on some the buildings, gives you the idea that these Orcs may have sailed here from across the see.

You've been kept in Cothor's lodgings since that first night. He treats you well and you wonder of his future intentions with you, but as of now you feel almost relaxed.

Your second day here you rested most of the day, sleeping off the long journey as well as the vigorous sexual encounter you had with the old Orc Cothor. He's showed no particular interest in repeat copulation, you wonder if it's due to his age, his obligations to his clan, or hesitation to bed a human repeatedly.

Either way, you can help but feel the urge again, you spend your nights lying next to him every night, nestled in his big arms, face pressed against his big chest, breathing in his musky armpits. It gets to you, you can't help but feel some way about it. You decide to ask him tonight to lay with you again.

After the camp had died down and the meals had been finished, Cothor began settling him self down for the night. He removed his various garments of animal skin and leathers and was head towards his own private bath which he had built himself. It reminded you of a natural spring, it must have been one of the first things built here given the comparative extravagence of the design and completeness of the structure.

You stop him before he can reach his destination, he's puzzled. "Please, let me bathe you tonight." You say in more of the tone of a question than a statement. The old Orc thinks for a moment and agrees. He stands aside and motions you towards his bath.

You begin disrobing as he sets himself down in the hot water, you follow suit and set yourself down next to him.

You begin washing his body, your hands getting to touch and caress every inch of him from his large biceps, his hairy chest, big belly, thick thighs, and pleasantly ample back side which you spread wide to his bewilderment and amusement.

"What business of yours do you have back there?" He chuckled. "Curiosty" you replied as you unhand his cheeks.

No matter how well you clean him, the inescapable scent of an Orcs musk clings to his skin, it's something you don't mind and in fact actively find attractive.

You move on to the front and take time care to wash his heafty sack and penis in a way in which you hope elicits arousal. Your hopes become a reality as his member slowly begins to raise.

Cothor looks to you and smiles "were your intentions tonight always to get me into this state?" You simply nod and continue fondling the old Orc "Very well! By all means continue!" He says in a satisfied tone.

You work your hands up and down his shaft while occasionally paying attention to his heavy testicles. He's leaning back with eyes closed, enjoying the stimulation. You carry on with this a for a while before your own curiosity and personal depravity get the better and you and you stop to give in order in a tone you never thought yourself capable of making "Stand up. Turn yourself around." You say as sternly as possible. His eyes open and he meets your eye to stare at you for moment before wordlessly doing as told.

There before is Cothor's ass, big, round, firm and slightly hairy. You reach one hand around him to the front, he's so large you come close to being un able to, you firmly grasp his shaft in one hand and begin moving your hand back and forth. Your other hands runs itself up his thigh and onto his ass cheek, where you begin to spread it as much as you can one handedly.

The light is dim, the only source being the candles nearby but you can make out the sight of his hole. You start you adventurous endeavor nose first, you can't help it, his scent draws you in. Your bury your nose between his cheeks as you hear him chuckle to himself "I've not had this experience since I was a young man!"

You take that as good sign as any to go further. You move your mouth over his hole and slowly, nervously, stick the tip of your tongue against the skin.

Your senses overwhelmed, your lust fully controlling you, you drop an pretense of nervousness now and begin kissing and licking Cothor's asshole as if you were making out with him, you push and prod and try working your tongue inside of him but the old Orc's too tight for just your tongue.

With your one free hand you begin wriggling your index finger inside of while trying your best to keep your mouth there aswell, you pay careful attention to any sign or indication to stop, but all you can here from the old Orc are soft, quiet moans of pleasure.

You eventually work one finger in enough to make room for your tongue to explore his hole. His moans grow more audible and dripping with lust

You pump his cock more vigorously now, your tongue buried deep in his asshole as far as you can, you feel him shifting his hips and tensing up, you know his about to cum.

You work his cock over as well as you can and try sticking your finger in again with your tongue, you're working hard for his completion, which happens with a loud roar and a bucking of the hips as he sprays cum all over the floor.

Through heavy breaths he turns around and stares you down with an ominous, predatory look of lust in his eyes. "Now for my turn"

[caitchercatlady]

The Promise of Forever

-3rd Year Version

Inspiration song: Made You Feel My Love-Adele

*note: I decided not to include Lilia in this post because I felt it wouldn't feel right. I see Lilia has that father/grandfather figure who wouldn't be interested in a teen student character (even as MC approaches marrying age). Please forgive me.

Trey Clover

"Is everything alright, (Y/N)? You haven't reached for a cinnamon bun yet. What's--Oh, that! (Snicker) I knew it was around here somewhere. Oh, no. It's for you. Go ahead. You're really quiet, (Y/N). Do you not like it? What is it for? (Chuckle) To start the rest of our lives. (Laugh) So is that a yes?"

Cater Diamond

"Nope, you caught me at the best time, cutie. I was just finishing a little something for you. Wanna see? Pretty impressive, yeah? Well, I'll let you know a little secret. All these pictures spell out a secret message. Yuppers. Betcha don't know what it means. (Snickers) Of course, I want you to figure it out. I know how smart you are. (Gets down on one knee as you end up figuring out the collage.) You can never pop the question without the ring, you know."

Leona Kingscholar

"What do I want to do today? Ugh,, you know you can't thrust these questions onto me. I know it's our free time, and I'd rather not use it on thinking. How about you give me an easy question? What's the quickest thing I can make a decision on? Two things. One, you already know, and two, sleeping. You don't know the first thing? Hmph. Maybe this will help you remember. Based on the look on your face, I don't have to pop the question, do I, your future royal highness?"

Vil Schoenheit

"My beautiful one, it's been a long night. We've barely had time to ourselves. Yes, the praise I've received is more than warranted, but I believe my best achievement is yet to come. My dear, you must be tired. Have a seat and allow me to show you what I mean. (Pause) It is what you think it is. If you marry me, I shall show you what I must take to be the best husband in Twisted Wonderland and of your heart."

Rook Hunt

"Mon trésor. I have an urgent discussion that I hope you'll engage with. Will you lend ton oreille? Wonderful. I have un problème that has been itching me from top to bottom. You see, there is something so beautiful that I want something for my own, but it's selfish to keep a beautiful thing for yourself when the world should admire it. Trickster, what should I do? (Pause) I can be selfish once, eh? I suppose I should make my one selfish moment of weakness count, correct? Ma belle, indulge in my selfish desire and be one with me. That is my greatest wish."

Idia Shroud

"Hee! Sorry! I was gonna come out of hiding eventually. Oh, uh...I should've known you'd recognize the suit. Well, uh, I was...thinking, and I...wanted to see if it still fit. I hope that's not weird. It's not. Oh, ok. Then, I thought...maybe we can...walk outside? Uh...no...I'm gonna start using the tablet less. Anyway, do you wanna--Oh! Uh, yeah, let's...go. (Mutters) I was not expecting this. (Outside) Yeah, that's quite the light scattering in the sky there. (Mutters) Just as I hoped for. (Aloud) What? Nothing! Well, not nothing, but uh...It's a little scary be be because I...I never did this. I'm not perfect and...and...and I'm not ideal, but I...I love you, and I...I want you...forever. Will you...accept me?"

Malleus Draconia

"Shh, it's late. We must be quiet. Come. Follow me. We are going to see the moon. Yes, but you haven't witnessed the moon yet. There. The moon is in its utmost perfect position and form. Not everyone witnesses such a sight in the late of the night in their lifetime. Do you remember how we discussed our futures together? How we will share our lives together? I have never been able to share this kind moon with anyone before now. Not that the chance hadn't presented itself. More rather, I wasn't sure I was ready. Now, that I'm ready for us to watch this moon together a two, I propose that we watch this moon forever as one. May you take this ring and be the bride of my heart, Child of Man?"

[thepenultimateword]

Too Tall Part Six

I missed my awkward space babies

||Part One||Part Two||Part Three||Part Four||Part Five||

Antolin held a hair tie in his teeth as he gathered his hair into a half-knot. His face was still pale, and his leg throbbed like hell, but he finally had the energy for an outing. Though, conscious to preserve that energy, he currently sat on the end of his bed, the wall mirror taken down and propped haphazardly in an open dresser drawer.

He turned his reflection from side to side as he ran his fingers through the top layer of tangles, scrutinizing the deep blue cross-wrap shirt from all angles. It had been a rather long time since he'd been on shore leave, so It had taken forever to find an outfit that wasn't a uniform or lounge clothes. The shirt's neck plunged a little low for comfort. It looked strange. Was that out of unfamiliarity or because it actually looked bad? He hadn't minded the look before, but now after several years of tight, high collars, he felt almost indecently exposed.

“You can’t be serious.”

Antolin briefly met Zae’s glaring eyes in the mirror. “What?" He took the hair tie in his hand and pulled the tail through two and a half times. "It’s just a walk.”

“You aren’t actually interested in that bloodmonger, are you?”

He picked up a hairpin with dangling blue glass beads and paused. Interested? Unai had been interesting since the moment she arrived on-station. But Zae was talking romantically, wasn't she? That was a much harder question. Antolin had always planned on having a relationship with another human--if his job ever gave him the time that was. Unai was about the furthest thing from a typical future that he could imagine. The culture, the planet...the height. Not bad...but complicated. Different. However, he had grown used to her presence. And the idea of going out to do something un-work related did make his heart speed a little fast. Not that any of that was enough to make sense of.

“I don’t know," he said. "Admittedly, it is a little strange. But I do like her. To what extent I’m still not sure. In any case, we're friends."

Zae frowned deeper, folding her long, slender arms. "She’s arrogant."

Antolin offered a half-shrug as he slid the pin into his bun. “She’s arrogant because she has a right to be. She does her job with a proficiency and vigor I’ve rarely seen.”

“Only because she’s trying to impress you. I swear, the rumors I've heard around the station since she's arrived. Does she have no shame?"

Rumors? He'd have to probe around about that once he was up and able again.

“I highly doubt she would have reached the rank of captain without a good work ethic.”

“Alright, but that doesn’t change that she's Ke'turian--an incredibly violent species. They take whatever they want by force. And you're human."

Antolin frowned at the implication. Did everyone see him as weak? He'd proven himself multiple times on the Zenith, enough times to get this position. Yet, sometimes, he had the impression that everyone was simply humoring him. His stripes held the threat of federal discipline, so they did as they were told. But they didn't actually respect him. Obviously whoever was letting in their enemies found him an easy target. And now Zae felt the need to fret over him as if he were a child. He even doubted his own abilities after that terrible fight with the Lasters.

But then there was Unai. She had said she'd battle alongside him. Surely a Ke'turian would know best about battle. It hadn't felt like a lie, even with her abrupt retreat after saying it.

He drew himself up in his seat. "I'm quite capable of defending myself against any threat. Ke'turians included." The cold tone clearly struck Zae because she immediately dropped her gaze. Satisfied, he allowed a little warmth back into his words as turned away from the mirror to face her head-on. "But I can hardly picture Captain Unai attacking me."

Zae remet his eyes, clearly unconvinced. "Be careful."

He rolled his eyes. "I will. Promise. Now," he grasped his crutch, shoving himself to his feet and limping a couple feet out from the bed. "How do I look?"

Zae sighed. "Like you think you're going on a date."

***

Unai's long stride had brought her to Hayes's door too quickly. She was at least 15 clicks too early. Knocking on the door now would be an embarrassment, another overeager display of her one-sided affections. That was...if they were one-sided. Because this was a date. Right? She'd at least intended it to be when she originally asked--or tried to ask. She wasn't certain what it was now that Hayes had taken ownership of the excursion.

Unai leaned back against the metal wall. She shouldn't ask. If Hayes hadn't intended anything by proposing a walk--which he probably hadn't--it would be uncomfortable to bring it up. Not to mention the recent gossip on the topic. She'd never been subtle, but it was a little ridiculous that her connection to Hayes was being so blown out of proportion now. She really hoped Hayes hadn't caught wind of any of it. She'd specifically left mention of it out of their conversations in case the bother affected his health or his opinion of her.

She checked her communicator's clock function. Still 13 clicks early. Maybe it was alright to be at least 5 clicks early. Punctuality was a virtue. So that only left 8 to go. Manageable.

She smoothed the front of her plain black tunic for probably the fifth time since putting it on. The collar settled comfortably just below her throat, only a little lower than that of her uniform, but the sleeveless nature of the garment had her a little uneasy. On Ke'tukar, bared arms to a potential mate were as obvious a signal for courtship as shouting it aloud; she doubted Hayes knew that, but it hadn't stopped her from wanting to do so anyway, just as her own personal declaration.

Another glance at her communicator. 5 more clicks. Well, maybe 10 clicks early would actually be fine.

Unai raised her hands to the door and hesitated. She'd been letting herself in these past weeks anyway. And Hayes didn't always hear the knock. Maybe she should simply enter as usual. That might even let Hayes know the stooping level of her expectations.

She pressed the door button, moving forward as the door slid open. And nearly ran into Lt. Zae in the process.

Unai backed up quickly as the Lieutenant's initial surprise faded, and she stepped into the hall, punching the door button back to closed as she did so.

"Captain." Her address was chilled as usual, and her silver eyes roamed up and down Unai's frame with an almost sick regard.

"Lieutenant," Unai returned through gritted teeth.

"Subtle are we?"

"Forgive me, Lieutenant, but I don't understand what you're implying."

Lt. Zae nodded at one of Unai's arms. "Ke'turian females woo the males by exposing their arms. A show of the strength you have to offer. I hope you are not expecting Commander Hayes to fall prey to such a spectacle."

Unai fought down the flutter of her collar and set her jaw.

"My clothing has no intention outside of its flattering fit, and even if it did, I don't see how it's any of your business."

Lt. Zae rose up to her full stringy height--a little higher than midchest--the already pinkish hue of her skin darkening with contempt. "Commander Hayes is my longtime colleague, commander, and friend. You expect me to be delighted at his dalliances with a Ke'turian military officer?"

Unai wished she could roar in the face of this disrespect. Bare her fangs, raise her collar, and challenge Lt. Zae to a combat of honor. But that would only upset Hayes and satisfy the Lieutenant's bad opinion of her. Instead, she let her fangs only show slightly. "Xersians and Ke'turians may have differing ideals, but I never knew a Xersian to be openly prejudiced toward an entire species."

"It's not the Ke'turian species trying to initiate courtship with Antolin. It is only one."

Unai knew it shouldn't matter, but that casual first name drop made her insides twinge. Lt. Zae really was on closer terms with Hayes. But that still did not excuse whatever she was being accused of. "Am I missing something, Lieutenant?"

"You Ke'turian’s are as aggressive when courting as you are when fighting. You expect me to trust a species that takes their mates by force?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent; I've read up on Ke'turian customs. Fighting other females to the death. Taking the males to husband--sometimes by physical force--without allowing any sort of choice. It's disgusting."

“What?” Unai cried, her collar flapping up irritatedly. “Maybe a few centuries ago! Where did you read that, a history book?"

"It was a modern study on various species' courting rituals."

"Written by who? A Xersian?"

"The libraries on Xersa have an extensive collection of research. All of which is heavily peer-reviewed and fact checked."

"Sounds like your libraries are trash, if that counts as heavily fact-checked. Ke'turian courtships are consensual. If I am denied, I will give up my pursuit entirely." It hurt to say aloud, like a rock sinking to the bottom of her stomach. But it was true. Her advances only went as far as Hayes accepted them. Maybe that was another reason she wasn't being totally forward. Once she received the official no, it was done. She'd rather bide her time in hopes of a one-day yes.

Lt. Zae blinked a few times. Taking in the offense and the claim all at once. Her face contorted from enraged, to considering, to flat. "I...will check a few more sources. However, my current trust remains nonexistent. If I hear of anything unsavory occurring on this 'walk', I will use my current commanding power to dismiss you from the station. Clear?"

"Perfectly," Unai growled. She maneuvered around the Xersian, pressing the door button with a large, intentional gesture. As it slid back, she stepped into Hayes' quarters without a second glance at the eyes piercing her back.

Hayes hastily pushed himself up on his crutch as she entered. "Captain Unai!"

"Commander!" she returned, nearly on choking the greeting. He wore a blue tunic-style shirt that cross-wrapped over his chest, but not before dipping just below his clavicle.

No. No. She was not going to be accused of ogling again.

Unai forced her gaze away from his elegant neck and the peeking portion of--despite his months in bed--a toned chest. She didn't know why she had expected him to be in uniform today. Maybe because besides the sleep clothing he wore in his quarters, she'd never seen him in anything else. He seemed like the type who would sleep in his uniform if it weren't for the discomfort and possible damage to the material.

It turned out averting her eyes from the outfit did nothing to save her. Haye's long, dark hair, fell in full curls over his shoulder, and the little tendrils that were too small to be pulled into his half bun framed his face in a messy, tousled sort of way. His eyes, as dark and deep as ever, studied her intensely.

She looked down at the floor before he could see the full extent of her admiration.

You mean attraction, she corrected internally. Who do you think you're kidding?

Well, if this wasn't a date, hopefully Hayes.

After a few moments, when no reproach or teasing remarks came, Unai forced her gaze back up. Hayes was still staring at her. Not the piercing, soul-exposing way he usually looked at her, but like...like he was caught up in a thought.

"Hayes?"

Hayes jolted and cleared his throat. "You, uh, look nice."

Unai mustered every bit of her strength to keep her collar pinned taughtly against her neck. "Thank you. So do you." She awkwardly extended her arm. "Shall we?"

Hayes limped forward and took gentle hold of the crook of her arm with his free hand. He smiled briefly up at her with what seemed like...nerves? No, it was probably just uneasiness about going out for the first time. His leg was probably pretty sore.

"So, Captain, what did you have planned?"

[suzannahnatters]

So I just finished rewatching THE RINGS OF POWER season 2 with my mum and this second time through I SO appreciated the resolution we get for Galadriel's two-season character arc in the final episode.

The writers set it up throughout the season with the constant theme that in any contest of power against power, Sauron is bound to win. Galadriel overcomes Sauron by rejecting him and fleeing him, not by overcoming him. I think there's also something very thematic in her waking up in Rivendell not in armour, but in a glowy white tunic. She's not the one waving a sword in the final frames, you know? It's like we're seeing the birth of the Lady of Light, the one who understands that you cannot overcome evil with power, but with light. (This is, of course, extremely ironic given some of the internet hysteria over Galadriel being depicted as a warrior).

But the main thing I loved on the rewatch is that Sauron does indeed tempt Galadriel. He tells her that he has power over her. That she's fallen for him once and thus must always fall for him again. That she's compromised and weak and incapable of doing better; that in the eyes of her friends she is no better than Sauron himself. THAT'S THE TEMPTATION; not to love but to despair. That's the thing that everyone has been telling her all season, even Elrond and Gil-Galad. But it's Celebrimbor who shows her differently. She can still fight Sauron. She still has her own agency. And having been deceived by him once doesn't make her weaker - it makes her better able to see through him for the future. 

And I was struck by the way that Adar describes  experiencing Sauron "bore a hole" and "slither in" - I don't want to be icky, but there are sublimated sexual overtones here, and this reinforces the fact that both Adar and Galadriel have experienced something incredibly violating. Which then drags in a whole raft of connotations. Can you ever be pure again once you've fallen for the Dark Lord's seductions? 

And the show says yes. Yes, you can. 

(Elf...or Orc. Because Adar has a similar resolution, when he realises thanks to Nenya, that his old, Elvish self is not so deeply buried nor so long gone as he lied to himself that it was). 

And that brings us back to the opening moments of season 1, when Finrod tells Galadriel that sometimes, in order to know which light to follow, you have to touch the darkness. I was a little worried by this line when I first watched the show, because I don't love the idea of flirting with evil in order to understand it - that seemed extraordinarily un-Tolkienian. But season 2 proves that that's not what it was intended to mean at all. The true meaning is this: that when the light touches darkness, the light comprehends the darkness. Because it's never too late. Touching the darkness may be a mistake, but it's not the end; you don't have to belong to the darkness. There is always an escape. 

With the end of season two, we've already reached the end of Galadriel's opening character arc. I'm really hoping this doesn't mean the character will be sidelined from here on out - and I don't think she will be, because Celeborn has obviously yet to appear - but what an arc it was. What a beautifully constructed story this has been.

[elmaxlys]

The Line™: Analysis

The Line™ is from :re 107, Donato talking to Urie as he's about to dismember Hige. It is as follow:

English (mangastream): "Taste how it feels. How I feel. How cruel it is. Cruel to be one of those who can only but watch over others."

Italian (J-pop): "Proverai quello che ho provato io. È dura assistere senza poter fare nulla." (You will feel what I (emphasis) felt. It's hard to spectate without being able to do anything.)

French (Glénat): Tu vas sentir ce que j'ai éprouvé. C'est si cruel d'être un simple spectateur. (You will feel what I endured. It is so cruel to be a mere spectator.)

As I do not know Japanese, this will not be an analysis about the accuracy of these translations but rather of the stylistic choices and the different messages they convey despite being translations of the same line.

Disclaimer, I first experienced this chapter through Mangastream's translation.

Second disclaimer, I am still learning Italian.

Let's see together why:

One of the strengths of the Mangastream translation of that line is the repetitions: "Taste how it feels. How I feel. How cruel it is. Cruel to be one of those who can only but watch over others." That makes the pronoun change only even more glaringly obvious and I love it. We go from general to personal to general again and it can be seen in the words used I LOVE IT. It's all woven together.

The use of imperative instead of the 2nd person indicative like in French and Italian makes the power Donato has over him in that moment so much stronger. Sure, the Italian uses the future, which can have an imperative value - but the correct mode slaps you right in the face with it. It's brutal, like Donato is being. The future, here, softens the blow. And the French? Near future with "aller". In terms of imperative, I want to say it's a slight step above the future simple, but more than that, near future with "aller" in the 2nd person sounds like a threat.

Why my beef with it, then, you might wonder. Well it sounds (as in the actual spoken sounds) weak and soft. "tu va sentir ce que j'ai éprouvé." Too much softness in there, you can't feel the threat. At most, you can feel a hissing sound and get reminded of a snake -> sly -> the devil etc but, mostly, it sounds weak to me. Compare with the English "Taste how it feels. How I feel." Donato is spitting these words, they're whistling between his teeth. He's angry.

And the "it"? Neutral pronoun. Abstraction. It's a general feeling that comes with the situation Donato is describing. Anyone can feel it. But then we redirect it! Straight at Donato. It becomes personal. We readers were not yet aware of Donato's grudge toward Mikito. But we know it's personal from that line only. And it's in present tense!! In French and Italian, it's a past, finished, tense (which also disconnects from the earlier use of future in that sentence, which can be interpreted several ways). But in English he still feels that way. Why? Because at the time this scene takes place, Koutarou is still out of his reach.

About the disconnection between the future and past tenses in French, here are my thoughts:

if I'm generous, it shows the distance Donato puts between himself and Urie. Donato is so much older, he has lived so many more things, has felt things Urie can't even begin to imagine.

what actually comes to mind when I read the sentence: the distance feels physical. It has no bearings. Donato has felt that before. Big deal. And now Urie will feel these. Wow. Nothing is anchored in the present so why is it relevant.

Another thing with the French is how it changes the verb. In English, we keep "feel"; in Italian, we keep "provare". In French, we go from "sentir" (feel) to "éprouver" (suffer, endure). This breaks what I said about the threat. Not only does "sentir" feel extremely soft, it is also extremely underwhelming, especially when put next to motherfucking "éprouver". With éprouver you can feel the pain, the weight. It's a miserable verb. And on top of that, with the "pr" it sounds wayyy more harsh than sentir. So with all we've said, here's how I'd rephrase the French:

Tu vas éprouver ce que moi j'ai éprouvé. (you will endure what I (emphasis) have endured)

"But Max, you kept the opposition future/past you complained about!" Nicely caught! See, with the repetition of the same verb but mostly with the emphasis on "I" ("moi"), it redirects the feels onto Donato's. And it instantly becomes a big deal. There's no distance anymore. Donato is involved. We breach straight into my generous analysis, only thanks to that "moi". Languages, amirite?

And you know one thing? That French sentence I just wrote is the direct translation of the Italian line. So while I think the Italian line isn't as strong as the English one for stylistic reasons that were my first point, I think it's still way more solid than the French.

Now let's delve into that second panel, shall we?

As a reminder:

EN: How cruel it is. Cruel to be one of those who can only but watch over others.

FR: C'est si cruel d'être un simple spectateur.

IT: È dura assistere senza poter fare nulla.

First thing we notice is English made two sentences. The repetition is, again, a strength. Second thing we notice, the English is twice as long. What's up with that. (spoiler: writing skills)

Now I want to bring to your attention the verbs used to describe the powerlessness. In English, "watch"; in Italian, "assistere" (spectate, witness, so really just watch); in French, "être" (be). I am assuming you all know what dynamic and stative verbs are so with that out of the way, you'll notice that the French is, out of the three, the only one to use a stative verb. This reinforces the powerlessness. It is not an action that is being done, it's a state of being that is being imposed on him.

What about the adjectives? In English, we have the intensive "how" on top of the repetition of the adjective "cruel". In French, we have the intensive "si" to insist on "cruel", again. In Italian, we have no intensive and we have an adjective that means "difficult" instead of the "cruel" we can find in both French and English. To what effect? In the English, this act of watching comes off as crueler and more painful than what Donato is about to do to Higemaru. In French, it's way less intense but we still understand the affect tying Donato to what he's saying. In Italian, however, it's a mere formality. It's a game, almost, and Donato has no involvement, no tie, which is sad because he had established one in his previous line, albeit briefly, through "io".

And now the rest:

In Italian, it's about the impossibility of action. It's about the immobility. This is interesting because the previous panels, when Donato describes what he's about to do, the Italian translation puts a lot of emphasis on this immobility "senza muovere né braccia né gambe" (without moving either arms or legs). For Italian Donato, what was the worst part of Cochlea was being confined and having had his freedom taken away.

In French, I like it a lot because it contradicts directly what Roma says later: "Je préfère rester dans le public, à huer, comme une simple spectatrice qui détruit les acteurs quand le numéro est nul." (I prefer to stay in the audience, booing, like a mere spectator who destroys the actors when their act sucks.) Here, Donato uses the same words Roma will later use in 135: "simple spectateur" (it's in feminine form for Roma, of course, but you get it). While Donato resents the cruelty of it all, the inaction of it, Roma basks in it. But Roma also acts on it, she's not a powerless spectator, despite her words. No, she's a spectator who destroys. It's that opposition between "simple" and "détruire" that defines Roma: even outside, she still plays a role - and she doesn't like it when she does have to act. Donato, on the other hand, through this sentence, comes off as the very opposite. Staying outside, alone in this experience, is painful. Here, it joins Uta's words in ch116. In French, "J'aimerais être plus impliqué. La solitude me pèse. Toi aussi, n'est-ce pas ?" (I'd like to be involved more. Loneliness weighs on me. On you as well, isn't it?) which Donato refutes immediately, like the liar he is. I would have liked more emphasis on the cruelty because as it stands, this line is pretty good in its implications but it's not perfect in terms of weight.

Now onto the English. "one of those who can only but watch over others". "one of those" humbles him but also implies he's not alone in this situation. Is he referring to other Cochlea prisoners? Is he referring to God or a divine plane? Honestly, I lean toward the second one. Why? Because of "watch over". For a second as I planned this whole analysis I became worried that it didn't mean what I thought it did, as one does. So I went to look in online dictionaries and I turned to Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries, and the former gave me this definition: "to exercise protecting care over; to keep in constant view in order to preserve from harm or error." while Cambridge gave me "to protect someone and make certain that they are safe" and I don't know for you guys but it sounds more like something divine than something Cochlea prisoners would do. On top of that, but maybe this is reaching too far, is the literal meaning of "over" when Cochlea is underground. And a final word on my favorite part of that sentence "only but". Even in French I have a weak spot for the restrictive negation, as it so elegant, but "only but" sounds so pretty, this is the shittiest argument in this whole thing and I had to end with this but Oxford dictionary lists it as poetic so I stand my ground.

Thank you for reading until here, don't hesitate to tell me what you think - and if you're Italian to correct me on anything I might have gotten wrong 🥰🥰

[jmdbjk]

Episode 5: WELCOME!

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

BTS continues to break records with Butter and Permission to Dance.

Whereas Dynamite was intended to be a feel good song for the fans during trying times, Butter was a little more intentional. BTS did not think they would release another single after Dynamite and the BE album but the pandemic was wearing on so out of many songs that they were sent to consider, they chose Butter. Namjoon rewrote most of the rap and the rest, as we keep saying, is history.

Butter broke Dynamite's Youtube premiere record of peak concurrent viewers with 3.9 million as well as other viewer number records.

Butter debuted at #1 on the BBHot100 and charted at #1 for 10 non-consecutive weeks. "Smooth like butter" became the catch-phrase of the summer of 2021.

And FINALLY, BTS heads to Los Angeles at the end of November 2021 for their first performances with a live audience. The world is still trying to emerge from all the covid restrictions but this is their chance. The U.S. has opened the doors and they go for it.

They will be one of the first artists to perform at the brand new SoFi stadium.

They are going to give it their all because things are still uncertain. Performing concerts with live audiences, being able to perform physically after such a long break and the fear or dread of NOT being able to perform again with an audience was the biggest thing weighing on them. Yoongi seemed optimistic and Namjoon said he hoped so but was afraid of having his feelings hurt again.

They realize their bodies are aging and that before the pandemic, as we know, they were driving their bodies into the ground physically with their grueling schedules.

It was 2 years between performances with a live audience – Love Yourself/Speak Yourself in Seoul, October 2019 to PTD LA, November 27, 2021.

Watching them prepare, as a group, for a major concert is awesome. These behind the scenes are very precious because they now know what it feels like to go through the motions of a live performance WITHOUT an audience.

The quality of their preparation and rehearsals increased. They had time to talk about the performance and production. They changed some things that they previously did during concerts. They said their energy levels were even higher than ever.

(PTD concert remix of Fire needs to be released this year. Just sayin.)

After they finally perform in front Army, they have mixed feelings. Relief, excitement, trepidation that this might be the last time. It was still a time when they didn't know if they'd get to perform again after PTD LA. One thing we learn is that they realized if they didn't get to perform once back in Seoul, that would be it for three years because of enlistment. Enlistment was the wall they faced every single day.

But as we know, the Seoul shows did go on in March 2022 and the Las Vegas shows in April and we also know how the rest of 2022 went.

We see them enjoying some free time in Los Angeles while in-between concerts, something they never got to do before. I think they made the free time a requirement when doing concerts. Their bodies needed to rest.

We see them win AOTY at the AMAs.

It is more serendipity because Namjoon mentioned a little bit before in this episode that he'd thought about quitting until he realized they belonged on that stage and knew that's what had to happen. Jin says the previous 2 years were a time for them to reorganize themselves and they were able to release Dynamite, Butter, Permission to Dance and reach even more overseas fans and make their concerts even more exciting.

Jungkook says they were not expecting to win AOTY at the AMAs. Winning Artist of the Year at the AMAs enabled them to view it as yet another door opening to their future.

Holding sold out concerts in huge stadiums, performing at the top of their game, winning huge awards at western award shows, these things legitimized them being asked to represent their country at the UN and other global and international diplomatic conferences.

I know... they were asked to do this BEFORE they won the Artist of the Year at the AMAs, and BEFORE the PTD shows, and it is because of what they'd accomplished before those things, but it further drives the point home that BTS will continue in the future to be a big player in the music industry worldwide and they already know this.

Jungkook says they aren't sure what the future holds yet but ignoring what's happened is not an option.

Tae says they want to remain the artists who impart a positive influence.

They have finally realized what their purpose is and they are realizing the influence they wield.

[ornii]

I have a funny/cute ask for you.

Wednesday somehow managed to fall in love but refuses to compromise any other part of herself. Except one thing: she is the most competitive at the arcade, especially the claw game.

Wednesday Addams does not come in second place.

A Great idea, so here’s: A Game of Life and Death! (Not Really)

Summary: Wednesday likes the crane game, she really likes the crane game.

Wednesday Addams hates a lot of things, Human interaction, Color, Bright things, sometimes you. While you two were obviously dating, she still wasn’t as content with the hugs and kisses you sometimes delivered, still a bit afraid she’s going to bite back. But having a terrifyingly high IQ, you were able to deduce her bluffs which also intrigued her to a certain degree. It all eventually came to a head as a new arcade was opening in Jericho after a few, disasters which included the near death of all students.

Entering the Establishment, like a dark cloud Wednesday was at your side. You two analyzed the room to the machines and games.

“It’s a Nerds Wet dream, isn’t it?” You say with a smile, Wednesday could see how oddly content you were within this place. “I suppose I could understand the appeal for someone of your intellectual feats, yet I still find it abysmal.” She says you casually adjust your glasses a bit higher and motions for her to lead.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine to show you the amazement of video games.” You say and show her around, arranging the clsssic video games, Dig Dug, Contra, PAC MAN. She’s never even seen Pac-Man before. You stand there, rambling on about how Pac-Man revolutionized games and the importance of preserving old games for future generations, and as expected Wednesday just stares into your eyes, she wasn’t very interested in video games or any sort, but she saw the joy in your eyes and as much as she despises joy and such emotion. She couldn’t bear take it from you, but something did catch her eye.

“(Y/n), Mi Amor… what is that?” She asks, and toy Turn your head to see what she’s looking towards and it was a crane game, the crane itself was dressed up like a ravens claw, and the gifts were also very creepy to boot, of course she’d love it. She walks over to it and softly presses her palm again the cold glass, you walk up behind her, seeing both of your reflections.

“It’s a Crane Machine, you use the controls to maneuver the claw to grab the items, standard cash grab game.” You say, “Wanna play?” You say, and show off a large sack of quarters you’ve been saving up, Wednesday scoffs. “Id never subscribe myself Go such mindless drivel.” She says.

An Hour and a Half Later

Wednesdays eyes were glued to the Glass as her hands angrily moved the crane hand around, her jaw clenched as she has spent around 40 bucks worth of quarters. You leaned against the crane watching her obsession slowly burn away her sanity, but as if by the luck of god himself she got one, the crane reaches down and clenches a small black heart plush and lifts it up, Wednesdays watches intently as if drops it down the hatch and to her feet, she takes it, and clenches it hard.

“I.. I did it…” she says, you chuckle and pat her shoulder. Leaning over her shoulder, “Yeah, I’m proud of you Babe. Can I play now?” You ask, Wednesday side steps, as Victory has never tasted so bitterly good for her.

“Of course, I doubt you have the ability to seal the qualms of fate that I have in order to obtain—“ she rambles on, until you insert one quarter, and effortlessly win a plush black bear for her. You hand it to your girlfriend with the most bittersweet smile. She takes it, absolutely speechless.

“Eh? I guess you could say my love for you is Un-bear-able, Eh? Eh?” You say, she looks down at the bear for a few moments but what was probably eons for her, and for the first time in your relationship she looked at you with such terrifying hatred in her eyes. This is the first time you’ve seen her genuinely Mad. She, without much effort tears the bears head off.

“Wednesday?” You ask, your voice shaking a bit as she slowly steps closer and closer to you.

“How? How did you do it?” She says with such scorn in her voice, I’ll vitriolic poison.

“W-what Are you talking about?” You say, slowly backing away as she approaches.

“Your infectious little game, you easily won this bear while I fought tooth and nail inside the gates of hell for this! And you laugh at me?” If words could kill you’d be burned to ash.

“Babe it’s not what you think, I’m just lucky..” you say and end up at the wall of the room, Wednesdays eyes were so devoid of emotion it felt like staring into the void of evil. You were prepared to accept your death, until you felt her palm aggressively grab yours.

“Weds?” You say.

“We, Are going to play, until I get another one.”

“But.. i thought you hated the game.” You respond and she walks with you.

“I refuse to be your lackey, I don’t do Second Place.”

“There’s no leaderboard for a crane game… babe I’m sorry it just comes easy…” you say, but she ignores you, and unfortunately you spend the rest of the day in a Crane game of Life and death. Which you still easily win.

The Day finally ends with you carting around a load of items Wednesday had won, after almost draining your life savings. But for the almost murder that occurred, you didn’t particularly hate it, and you just loved the time you spent with her, as you carry it into the dorm, Enid berates her with Questions and Wednesday answers calmly, but you could see the slightest smile on her face, which made it all with it.

Maybe you’ll bring her back next time, but, avoid the cranes next time.

[loosesodamarble]

Hello senpai it's 🖤 anon. For oto-may

Can you answer 2, 24 and for 25- what otome games will you recommend me to play? (Seeing your pages makes me want to play them)

Welcome back 🖤 anon~! Always lovely to see you around!

Thank you for the questions. And thanks for waiting for the answers! I uh... kinda went off so I'll be putting the lengthy answers under the cut!

2) Otome I would like to play

Right off the top of my head, I'd love to dive into Collar x Malice Unlimited, Piofiore: Episodio 1926, Virche Evemore: Epic Lycoris, and Radiant Tale Fanfare!

However, seeing as those are fandisc/sequels and I still need to finish the original games, I kinda can't. Not without running into massive spoilers and being left totally confused at least.

And actually, Epic Lycoris and Fanfare have yet to release in English so even if I did already play through Virche and RT, I wouldn't be able to play them right away...

Okay okay! But for a title that isn't a fandisc, the only otome that is currently catching my eye is Cupid Parasite.

Which is weird because literally none of the love interests in that game have long, luscious hair which is my usual weakness. But the art looks good and the concept of the literal Greek Cupid working as a matchmaker for the most un-matchable men ever seems funny.

And I have a feeling that there would be more going on than just cringefail men making out with a Greek deity.

24) Favorite otome

I've mentioned Cinderella Phenomenon as a fave of mine before. So another one of my favorite otomes would be Code Realize: Guardian of Rebirth, as well as the two fandiscs Future Blessings and Wintertide Miracles.

I just... KJAHGIOAUEHTIAEHKJBELIGHEAKLJAEIUTHALEKTHA!

I really love the series! It did take me a while to really warm up to it but once I let myself get absorbed in the world and the characters, I got really attached. And with each entry into the series I played, the more I loved all of it. Cardia is such a sweet but strong-willed heroine. Several love interests stole my heart with their tragic stories. And for the ones that didn't leave me in tears, they were decent enough and good for getting a laugh out of me.

The side characters are pretty interesting too. Delly and Finis are like my baby brothers. Queen Victoria kinda talks down to Cardia and the boys at times but we can forgive her because she's kinda cool in how she's like "the kingdom and its people are my children, and a mother protects her children." Watson. Just Watson. He's a treasure.

The artwork of the game is beautiful too! UDAHGAEUHIAHR! All of them are winners in my opinion. ESPECIALLY HERLOCK! He may have needed to wait for the fandisc to get his route but it was made up for by all his cgs being LITERALLY THE BEST!

And the thing is, I love Code Realize so much that as I came close to completing the third game... All I needed was to read the epilogues of Wintertide Miracles and then I'd have the full stories and all the cgs... I was close to completing it and I paused and went "wait, I don't want the story to end yet. I want to keep falling in love with this game and the characters."

So I decided to delete my save data for all three games and buy other otomes to play so I could delay seeing the end of Code Realize's story. If I saw the ending, then the story would be concluded and I didn't want to imagine closing the book on Code Realize! AAAAAHHHHHHH!

I'm gonna replay Code Realize and actually see the epilogues of Wintertide Miracles one day. But not for a long time!

I just want the series to stay alive in my head with the ending just out of reach for as long as possible... That's how much I love it.

25) Free question: what otome games will you recommend me to play?

If you're looking to play an otome game, I'd suggest Cinderella Phenomenon.

It's free to play and available either through Steam or itch.io. The basic premise centers on a princess breaking a curse placed on her by a witch and along the way, she falls in love with a handsome young man, also under a curse. But even that base idea has a few twists to it.

Cinderella Phenomenon (or Cin Phen for short) is a straightforward, choice-based dating sim. And even light on how many choices you make. Not counting the Common Route (which is the section of an otome before you're locked for a single guy), you only make 21 choices total, three per chapter with a guy, excluding the final chapter which is either the Good or Bad Ending. Cin Phen is also nice in that you are allowed to have a guide, the Right Choice Indicator, to clue you in on when you've made a choice leading you to the Good Ending. It can be delayed for some choices and you can even turn it off if you want to play blind.

While I... disagree with a trope used in one route, all of the main characters and a good majority of the supporting cast are good, likeable people who each deserve a happy ending. No one is perfect and a couple show difficult sides of themselves at times but it makes the characters rounded and entertaining.

There are also dark themes like political corruption, emotional manipulation/abuse, and death. Though I'd still say Cin Phen is a pretty safe starting point when it comes to dating sim.

[mahayanapilgrim]

The first and last words of Gautama Buddha

When ascetic Siddhartha Gautama firmly determined to attain enlightenment, he sat under a Bodhi tree at the place presently known as Bodh Gayā on the banks of the river Neranjana in Uruvela and started meditating. He meditated with the firm resolution;

"Though only my skin, sinews and bone remain, and my blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet will I never stir from this seat until I have attained full enlightenment"

Ascetic Gautama meditated by applying himself to mindfulness on in and out breathing (anāpanasati) and was able to clean his mind from mental defilements and attain the first, second, third and fourth deep absorption states (Jhanas). During his meditation, countless disturbing thoughts appeared in his mind in order to distract and disturb his meditation but he continued meditation with more resolve and determination, eventually attaining the mental power of seeing his own past lives (Pubbenivasanussati nana) during the first watch of that night. During the second watch of the night he developed the mental ability to see the death and rebirth of other living beings (Cutupapatha năna), and it became clear to him that beings were reborn according to the quality of their thoughts, words and actions. Those beings with right thoughts, words and actions were reborn in good states and those with wrong thoughts, words and actions were reborn in states that were not good. During the third watch of the night, ascetic Gautama developed the ability to see the destruction of passions or taints (Asavakkhaya nāna) and became enlightened through the realisation of the four Noble Truths.

Having become a Perfectly Enlightened One (Samma Sambuddha) on the full moon day of the month of May under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya, India, Lord Gautama Buddha's first words were the following two expressions of joy.

"Through many births in samsara

I wandered in vain

Seeking the builder of this house of life

Repeated birth is indeed suffering"

"O house-builder you are seen

You will not build this house again your rafters are broken And your ridgepole shattered

My mind has reached the unconditioned I have attained the destruction of craving"

These two verses were the first words uttered by the Buddha following enlightenment and they can be described as expressions of intense and sublime joy that was felt by the Buddha at the moment of full enlightenment. In the first verse, the Buddha has referred to the fact that He has been wandering through countless births in the "samsara" which is the cycle of repeated birth and death, looking for the builder of this house. Here, the Buddha has referred to the body as the house and craving (tanhã) as the builder who is responsible for building that house. The Buddha has also stated that He has been searching for the house builder unsuccessfully and that repeated births in the cycle of birth and death is painful and suffering.

In the second verse, the Buddha has declared that He has seen the house builder or craving through insight wisdom and that no more houses will be built for Him in this birth or in the future. The Buddha has broken all the rafters which are the remaining mental defilements and the roof-tree has also been shattered meaning ignorance has been completely eradicated. Finally, the Buddha has confirmed that craving has been completely destroyed and that the mind has reached the un-conditioned state of Nibbana, which is complete freedom from suffering and the cycle of birth and death.

Though enlightened as a Samma Sambuddha, having being born as a human being, Gautama Buddha was also subjected to decay, disease and death as other beings. At the age of eighty years, the Buddha announced to an assembly of monks that the Tathagata (Buddha) will pass away in three months. The Buddha has decided that the passing away will take place in a small town called Kusināra.

The Buddha gave the opportunity for any one of the Buddhist monks assembled to ask any questions to seek any clarifications or to clear any doubts they may have about the Buddha's teaching. The Buddha asked them to do so three times but no one volunteered to ask any questions maintaining complete silence. As the Buddha had not appointed a successor to be the teacher following the Buddha's passing away, the Buddha advised the Buddhist monastic community to consider the Buddha's teaching (Dhamma) and the disciplinary rules (Vinaya) as their teacher. Addressing the gathering of monks the Buddha also made the following statement:

"Monks, during the last forty five years of my life, I have withheld nothing from my teachings. There is no secret teaching, no hidden meaning; everything has been taught by me openly and clearly. My dear disciples, this is the end."

Just before the Buddha's passing away, a brahmin called Subhadda insisted on seeing the Buddha to learn his teaching and to clarify some doubts he had in. Though initially he was turned away by Venerable Ananda, on hearing his pleadings, the Buddha agreed to speak to him.

After listening to the Buddha's sermon he wanted to be ordained so Subhadda was the last person personally ordained by the Buddha. Having started meditating immediately with firm determination, Subhadda quickly attained enlightenment.

[tastydregs]

Arctic Sea Ice Is Melting Way Faster Than Previously Thought, Study Finds

The Arctic Circle could lose its summer sea ice a whole decade earlier than previously projected by scientists. It’s yet another sign that the climate crisis is affecting our global systems faster than researchers had understood before.

Extreme Weather Events in 2022 | Extreme Earth

In a new study published in the journal Nature Communications, researchers outlined how the Arctic could experience rapid sea ice loss as early as the 2030s. It’s a decade earlier than a 2021 UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) report, which predicted that the region would lose its sea ice by the middle of this century, researchers wrote. And even if world leaders create policies that successfully lower earth-warming global emissions, the Arctic would still lose September sea ice by the 2050s, the study explained.

Researchers analyzed sea ice data ranging from 1979 to 2019, they also compared different climate models with satellite images to understand how summer sea ice had changed over time. They found that some previous models had underestimated just how fast the Arctic Circle was losing that ice. They also found that human activity was one of the main causes of rapidly melting sea ice. “These results emphasize the profound impacts of greenhouse gas emissions on the Arctic, and demonstrate the importance of planning for and adapting to a seasonally ice-free Arctic in the near future,” researchers wrote in the study.

Researchers looked at summer sea ice in September because ice in the Arctic waters builds up throughout the winter months when that region of the world sees little to no sunlight. The amount of ice peaks in March, it melts throughout the summer and reaches its lowest point in September. But as the world becomes warmer, it will build up a lot slower throughout the winter months. To be clear, the scientists describe the Arctic Ocean as being “ice-free” which does not mean that there is absolutely no ice at all. It’s a metric that scientists use to describe if the area covered by sea ice is less than one million square kilometers (about 386,000 square miles). That is the equivalent of 7% of the ocean’s total surface area.

For the majority of the world population, which is concentrated towards the equator, Arctic summer sea ice seems far away. But rapidly melting ice contributes to even more global warming. The permanent ice cap in the Arctic Circle is one of the several ways that the planet is able to reflect sunlight away from the earth to naturally mitigate some warming. Less sea ice means that less sunlight is reflected away from the world. The ocean in the Arctic is dark and absorbs more heat from the sun than ice and snow does. This means rapidly losing sea ice would create a feedback loop, one in which less ice means more heat is absorbed, which in turn contributes to even faster warming.

The planet, and especially the Arctic, can’t handle a warming feedback loop. That part of the world is already warming four times faster than the rest of the globe, a 2022 study found. And September sea ice is shrinking at a rate of more than 12% per decade, according to NASA.

Want more climate and environment stories? Check out Earther’s guides to decarbonizing your home, divesting from fossil fuels, packing a disaster go bag, and overcoming climate dread. And don’t miss our coverage of the latest IPCC climate report, the future of carbon dioxide removal, and the un-greenwashed facts on bioplastics and plastic recycling.

[unathorn]

Glancing down as the strange bracelet again as Zaid took a moment to examine it, Una gives a small nod. Appreciating the intricate beauty of the tiny fossil. It had been polished to a shine, gleaming like a gem. And than shoved in an ugly rubbery-plastic band. It seemed like a careless effort. It seemed the same with many of the other bracelets she'd spotted. Glorious gems and stones and trinkets, shoved in a bland and unflattering surround. Practical, maybe. Harder to lose? Harder to damage? Oddly un-aesthetic.

"It is quite pretty, and I'm sure it probably is 'real'. I don't think that whoever put this place together would scrimp on something like that. Even the smallest detail seems to be attended to."

Though as Zaid mentions the sensation he'd experienced when removing his own bracelet, Una just offers the slightest shrug in return.

"I did... For a moment. Felt sick. Dizzy."

And???

"And... not in control. Which I don't really want to risk again."

Though Zaid changes the topic back to their current focus. Building the cage. And she does give a slightly wryer smile at the probing question.

"I wasn't a saint when I was younger. Far from it. Just a bit too self-absorbed. Too greedy for my own good. So I had a spell of incarceration. I spent a long time in a small cage, Zaid."

Which is probably why the thought of using one to contain the monster doesn't phase her as much as it might others.

"But - I learned a lot. Gave me the opportunity to reflect on how the person I was, wasn't the person I wanted to be."

That is spoken with a slightly wistful tone. To have a moment of revelation. Of self-discovery at the lowest ebb... Una could only count herself as fortunate to have the opportunity to make that chance before it was altogether too late.

"They also had a few really good rehabilitation programmes and a well stocked workshop. Woodwork. Metalwork. Giving people the skills to be self sufficient and sustainable once they were released. So... Maybe I have half a clue what I'm doing."

There's a quick blink of surprise at the sudden compliment though. A soft 'oh' followed by a softer smile.

"And you are even more vivacious and vibrant."

She returns, offering a small touch to his arm in thanks.

"I remember. Saw your name. It would have been as much of pleasure to meet you then as it is now."

Though when Zaid shuts down her line of discussion about giving himself space, Una knows well enough to back off. He'd talk in his own time if he wanted to at all. Though she does offer one final thought. A small olive branch to leave dangling, just in case at some point in the future he felt like reaching out for it.

"We're all trying to figure it out, yes. But we don't need to struggle."

And that's enough, dropping the subject completely as they circle back round to the cage once more.

"Would need to reinforce the walls and the roof too. I'm not sure exactly how strong that... Version of me is. But I'm pretty sure that it could tear it's way through a prefab. I've also been thinking about a brig... On the ship, you know? Maybe there's something there that's more secure. I just haven't been able to find one yet. It might be in a part of the ship that is underwater or..."

She lets her voice fill the air with those thoughts for a moment before they're clipped off rather suddenly. Holding up one hand as though asking for silence from Zaid too.

The first thing that comes is a scent. Metallic and oily. Mixed with something that was akin to pheromones. Not the kind to attract, but something else. Signalling? She's not sure. But hot on the heels of the scent is a sound. A low ominous buzzing. Something that loud would have to be... Big... Or surely they'd be able to see it.

It sounded neither inviting, nor friendly. So... Una steps in front of Zaid. Facing the sound. Probably an almost laughable action given the fact that she was shorter and far more slight than the man with her.

A low rumble eminating from her throat. A warning growl. And certainly nothing human.

"Stay behind me."

Voice low and deep - faltering slightly around the suddenly sharper teeth that were already forming in her jaw. Instinctual and protective.

Then 'it' swings around a corner. A violently perverse creation. A mix of mechanical and natural shoved into a terrible, monstrous looking thing. If her beast was terrifying, then this abomination might be a close second. And that hind brain kicks in. The part that was far more awakened now with the presence of wolf. Sensing a potential danger she... Shifts.

Both reluctantly and gladly, Zaid let Una go. How many people did this woman have to hug, for them to pour all their angst and grief and misery onto her? How needy did people get around her? How worshipful of her solid grace and wisdom? How much did she have to be a lifeline for others? Zaid always internally fretted over this during their online sessions, when things seemed to get too deep for him, cut a little too hard in his heart. He'd pull back, Una would of course let him (the journey was his, and Una was only a guide, as per each session reminder), and then after every meeting he'd add 25% tip just because. The hug had gone on for precisely 12 seconds - more than enough time.

After all, what the hell did Zaid have now, to tip Una afterward his awkward expression of feelings?

Zaid grunted in agreement about the bracelets, touching his own. "When I take mine off, it feels terrible, if I'm honest. It feels like I'm missing an arm, or I'm forgetting how to breathe. A necessary evil," he half-joked, then studied Una's, eyes wide with pleasure. "Bloody hell. Yours is gorgeous, love. That's a proper fossil, isn't it."

But building one strong enough. From scratch, no less. "How many cages have you built before? Now I've got to ask, because honestly you seem like you know what you're doing." A pleasant tease and curiousity. Then an added blurt at the end: "You're even more radiant in person, you know. Bet you always hear that. I'd been considering one of your weekend retreats, paid the deposit and all. Planned for September but then -" Zaid motioned around them. "This happened."

Una, handing out free words of advice, free food for thought. Zaid felt his face getting red with embarrassment. Not at what he said - he'd said plenty humiliating things to Una before in sessions. But because he said anything at all. As if this was a bloody session, when Una was merely trying to survive.

He clicked his tongue, sniffed hard and nodded, keeping his chin up as he followed along with Una. "Yep. I'll keep that in mind, love. We're, erm. We're all struggling to figure it all out now, yeah?"

No more talk of that, Zaid made it clear in his politely clipped tone. Instead, he nodded about Una's decision for a tent, but he paused at the location of the warehouse, then turned to look towards the bungalows, then back again.

"Right. Right...so you want the cage here, then? A good spot..." The nearest bungalow was about three football fields away. He pointed at it.

"Una, right. That bungalow there is empty, I'm pretty sure. And it's got four walls and a roof, already done. And I'm fairly sure these bungalow buggers are pre-fab, yeah. Erm. Easily transportable...well not easily. It'll take some doing, but we've all got bloody powers innit. Surely there's someone who's got like. Super strength, or the power to transform into a pick-up truck. I don't see a need to reinvent the wheel when we've got something that could serve as a cage, right there. Empty that bugger out, get some help to relocate it here. Reinforce all the windows and doors with the materials you got here...."

Zaid squinted at Una, shading his eyes from the sun. "You reckon that'd do?"

[miraculouscontent]

A Change of Heart (post-”Miraculous New York”)

"Kaalki, divide!"

Ladybug felt Kaalki's light wash over her, the kwami emerging and flying a small distance away. They were up on one of the rooftops in New York, overlooking an interview that was happening on the street.

Kaalki hummed in interest, taking the time to see the tall buildings. "What a grand city." Then, her gaze dropped down and she squinted, adding with distaste, "Quite crowded though."

"There's an interview going on right now. That's why. One of their supervillains was just taken down," Ladybug explained, placing her foot up on the edge of the building and peering down to look at the crowd.

"And, what precisely are we here for?" Kaalki asked, hovering near Ladybug's face to follow her gaze.

"Not what, but who. We’re here to see Eagle," Ladybug answered, pointing at the eagle-themed superheroine being interviewed. The crowd was enthusiastically cheering at just about every answer Eagle was giving, and Ladybug couldn't help smiling at the fact that the person she gave the miraculous to was still doing well.

As the interview came to an end, Eagle's eyes shifted from the interviewer to Ladybug, who had made sure to be where the red-and-black of her suit would stand out; she wasn't exactly the definition of "stealthy," and it worked to her advantage in this case.

Eagle jumped up to the nearest rooftop, then waited for the crowd to disperse before leaping over to where Ladybug was. "Hey, Ladybug! What are you doing here?" Her brows creased in seriousness, and she held her fists up like she was raring for a fight. "Did Hawk Moth come back to New York?"

Ladybug waved dismissively. "No, no, it's nothing like—"

"Pardon me," Kaalki said, making sure she was loud enough to be heard. She puffed her chest out haughtily and gestured to herself with a hoof. "I'm Kaalki, the kwami of migration. Pleased to meet you," she said, her tone forced as to imply that she didn't appreciate being ignored.

"Uh... hi," Eagle greeted flatly, then looked to Ladybug for an explanation.

"Sorry about her. She was my ride." Grabbing Eagle's wrist and leading her to the center of the rooftop, where they were less likely to be seen from the streets, she explained, "Anyway, I came here because I was hoping that I could get your help."

Eagle leaned to the side, curious. "My help? What for?"

"Well..." Ladybug hesitated. "This is going to sound like a weird request, but..."

—————

Eagle crossed her arms in thought, still seemingly absorbing the explanation. "You want me to use Liberation on you? To get rid of your—"

"—romantic attachments," Ladybug cut in stiffly, the word 'crush' and 'love' sounding extremely un-Ladybug-like. She blushed in embarrassment and looked away, bringing a hand up to partly hide her face. "Listen, I know you probably don't get this sort of thing. It's already awkward to talk about it while I'm Ladybug, but—"

"No, I get it," Eagle assured, though her expression was neutral.

Ladybug looked at her in surprise. "You do?"

With a slight roll of her eyes, Eagle replied, "Okay, so I don't get all the love stuff exactly, but Uncanny Valley has her own thing for me to deal with. She always wants to help people; she can't help it. Besides, Liiri says that there's always something stopping people from reaching their full potential. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good, and it's my job to figure out what it is." She glanced Ladybug up and down, as if to gauge something. "You really think it's that bad?"

Ladybug responded with a wince, bad memories already starting to surface.

"Alright, wow," Eagle said, hands raised as she took a step back, the reaction having already convinced her while she herself clearly wanted no details about it. "Are you ready then? You know this is only going to last five minutes, right?"

"Wait—" Ladybug blinked in surprise. "You're really going to help me?"

"Yeah?" Eagle replied. Half-offended, she asked, "Did you really think I wouldn't?"

"No! Sorry!" Ladybug rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "You'd be... surprised, by how bad this stuff usually goes for me."

For a moment, Eagle looked tempted to ask, but shook off the thought just as quickly. Placing her fists to her chest, her gaze went firm, showing that she was ready.

Ladybug stood in place, almost nervous at the prospect of doing this. She was essentially taking out a piece of herself, but it was the only way to test it; the only way to know for sure.

"Liberation!" Eagle called out, spreading her arms as a single light burst out of her.

Ladybug flinched, her fighting instinct kicking in, but she held firm and let the light touch her. For a moment, she was frozen, able to sense Eagle's presence in her mind and even hear her voice. Eagle's voice was calm, but tempting, offering the freedom so desperately desired.

"Ladybug, your love has taken over your life. I release you from it!"

—————

Marinette quickly stashed the glasses in her purse as she checked her phone's timer. She had four minutes and forty-five seconds to do this, and she took a steady breath before stepping out of the alley she'd been hiding in.

As she raced across the street, the fencing students were just filing out out of Françoise Dupont. The moment she saw Kagami and Adrien leaving, she raised a hand, raising her voice so she'd be heard. "Hey, Adrien!"

Adrien and Kagami stopped and glanced her way. Adrien turned to Kagami, saying something and briefly tilting his head in Marinette's direction. Kagami nodded at him in response, and they separated, Kagami heading in one direction and Adrien heading in Marinette's.

At first, Marinette was nervous, her worst case scenario being that Liberation had truly failed or worn off when she de-transformed, or that her feelings were somehow so strong or messed up that even Liberation somehow couldn't help her.

Yet, as Adrien approached, she found that she wasn't shaky at all. Her heart wasn't pounding either. She didn't even feel the slightest bit of awe from his presence.

She was normal. She was okay.

"Hey, Marinette," Adrien greeted with a smile. "Did you need something?"

It took her a moment to answer, still stunned that it'd worked and she'd truly been freed of her crush, even if it was for five minutes. "Oh. No, actually, just..." She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, checking the time, then kept it at her side as she asked genuinely, "How was fencing?"

Adrien looked briefly caught off guard, though whether he was surprised at her acting differently or just the question was anyone's guess. He then brightened, replying excitedly, "It was great! I got paired up with Kagami again, and you know how Mr. D'Argencourt is with fencing, so he..."

The conversation continued as nothing but casual from there, and Marinette almost felt silly at how amazed she was by such a simple thing. It was actually like she was Adrien's friend; like they were on the same page and she could actually hold a conversation with him. He looked and talked the same way he always did, yet she was perfectly fine. Students passed by and maybe tossed them a brief glance, but completely ignored them otherwise because she wasn't acting "weird."

At worst, she was grinning just a little wider out of the pleasant surprise of the whole thing.

When she'd first thought to "liberate" herself of her feelings for Adrien, she was certain she'd be disappointed by it. She honestly thought that she would see Adrien and miss the heart fluttering, the weak knees, and the sheer dreaminess he used to radiate.

But she was wrong. With her crush gone, she could see herself from an outside perspective and reflect without fretting over the things she would've otherwise. Where she thought there'd be disappointment, there was relief that she could actually breathe and not turn into a mess around him. Her mind wasn't clouded with thoughts, and her eyes could drift wherever she wanted without some brainless thought intruding and warning her that she might miss Adrien blinking if she looked away.

She'd needed this. It was nice; more than nice even. Is this how it could be all the time if she truly moved on from him? No more mocking, no more jealousy, no more "crazy Marinette"? It'd be like a celebrity crush that she grew out of; an embarrassing memory of the past and nothing more.

More importantly, she would remember this. She would remember this feeling; the sanity of not being in love with Adrien, or not feeling whatever that emotion was actually called. To say the word "love" seemed so... wrong.

Still mid-discussion with Adrien, Marinette's phone suddenly beeped with a warning message. She turned it in her hand, seeing that she'd properly set the timer earlier to warn her when there was a minute and half left of Liberation.

Adrien leaned over to look at the screen, but jumped when a loud honking noise abruptly sounded off from behind him. Marinette tried not to snicker, but it was difficult; seeing someone else be the jumpy one was quite the experience, and she'd have to remember that too.

Adrien looked over his shoulder at his limo waiting for him, then glanced back at her apologetically. "Sorry, I gotta go. Can we talk later?"

"Oh, sure! Definitely!" Marinette stashed her phone back in her purse, then waved to him. "See you tomorrow!"

"Bye, Marinette!" Adrien exclaimed, waving as he rushed off. "It was fun talking to you!"

"You too!"

Marinette pursed her lips, trying to contain herself as she watched Adrien get into the limo and ride off down the street. She waited until it was out of earshot, then let herself start squealing, even hopping around and doing a twirl for effect.

"M-marinette?!" Tikki called, concerned. "Did it wear off? There's still time—"

"I'm gonna delete all my Adrien pictures!" Marinette exclaimed. "And take down that disaster of a wallpaper!"

"W-wHA—!!" Tikki gaped. "Marinette, when your feelings come back—"

"That's future Marinette's problem! This feels great!" Marinette cheered, having to suppress her excitement just so she could talk. Raising one hand dramatically, she placed the other to her chest, saying to no one in particular, "Oh, what's that? Me, crushing on Adrien? Ew, no way! We're just friends!"

She laughed triumphantly, a bounce in her step that made it seem almost like she were jogging. She crossed the street, reaching for the bakery door's handle and practically singing to herself, "Just friends~ We're just friends~ Me and Ad~ri~en are just good—"

She paused as she opened the door, seeing a familiar mix of blue and black standing at the counter and talking to her parents. At the chime of the bell, all three looked over at her, Luka's smile welcoming and his lips partially coated in white from what seemed to be a powdered donut.

"Hey, Marinette," he greeted. "We were just talking about you."

"Oh, he's such a sweetheart," Sabine cooed. "He came all the way here just to see you."

Luka blushed a light shade of pink at the obvious teasing, Tom jumping in to exclaim, "And he really thought he had to pay us for sweets! I told him, you're friends with our daughter, you better not put a single coin on that counter, young man!"

The three had a laugh together; clearly, they'd been getting along before she came in.

Yet, Marinette's smile fell from her face, a mental 'oh' echoing in her mind.

She hadn't even considered Luka when she'd thought of taking away her crush on Adrien, but it made sense; Eagle had said love, and Marinette wasn't foolish enough to think that she hadn't felt anything romantic for Luka. It only made sense that her crush on him would go too.

But it wasn't the same. The relief didn't follow the lack of feeling. With Luka, there'd always be a little leap in her heart, then a wave of calm washing over her, but neither were there and she couldn't help feeling disappointed.

Luka's smile disappeared as he noticed her expression. He approached, concern written all over his features. "Marinette?"

They were friends at that very moment; that was all the feeling she had on the matter, but she wanted what she'd had before. She remembered his confession at the TV station and yearned for the warmth in her cheeks when he stared at her and told her how much he loved her with words that were entirely his own; words that told her that he loved her as herself and filled her with a confidence she seldom had outside of being Ladybug.

Everything clicked. Her crush on Adrien represented stress, anxiety, and losing herself, but her crush on Luka represented peace, happiness, and being herself.

She missed how she felt about Luka. She didn't miss how she felt about Adrien.

That was all the answer she needed.

Almost on cue, her phone beeped again, this time to signal that Liberation was over. Marinette took in a shaky breath as she felt pleasantly familiar emotions rush through her again, and she welcomed them back like she would an old friend.

Luka's blue eyes gained vibrance and allure, his lips being coated in powdered sugar suddenly became incredibly cute, and she could think of him as no less than the most handsome boy in the world.

"...Sorry," she said breathlessly, waving a hand to assure him that she was alright. "Let's just say I went through a lot of emotions today. I'm happy to see you, really!"

Luka's smile came back, filling her with its warmth. "I'm glad," he said in relief. Then, taking a glance at her purse, which was still letting out a muffled, melodic beeping noise, he asked, "Sorry, do you have to be somewhere?"

"Hm? Oh, no, not really." She took out her phone to shut off the timer, then flashed him the screen before closing the app and storing the phone back in her purse. That done, she paused to consider things, then dared a glance back at him. "Hey... can we walk for a while?"

He blinked, mildly surprised, but nodded. "Sure. Did—" He froze, apparently only now realizing that he had powdered sugar on his lips. He swished his tongue around to lick it off, then started over with, "Did you want to talk about something?"

Smiling almost smugly in response, she felt confident enough to offer him her arm, as if he were a damsel she was leading around. She'd never seen his eyes widen quite so much before, but he also didn't protest, happily taking hold of her arm.

Knowing that her parents would just be giving their looks of approval if she glanced back, she stepped out of the bakery and led Luka towards the park.

"So, it took a little longer than I hoped, but... do you remember when you were talking about me getting clarity?"

[hahanoiwont]

Whither then! 3 5 7! I love hearing writers explain their writing if you hadn't noticed /silly

How lucky that I love talking about it! :D I will ramble under the cut :3

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

There are a ton that I'm so fond of, but here's a fun little parallel that most people don't pick up on! Here's Black on reaching the Surface:

For the first time in his life, Sans thinks that he may possibly survive. Not just tomorrow, not just the latest attempt on his life—he may survive to old age. Or at least, long enough to honestly expect to have a future. He will need to do things, make plans. Build a life for more than just a moment.

He has the means to do it intentionally this time, instead of pouncing on every opportunity and forcing things to work out. He will do it perfectly. He has the luxury of perfectionism, now. And so very much that he would like to do perfectly.

He is the well-adjusted, capable guardian of a new teenager—a guardian with status and experience to back him up, instead of a technically-adult child panicking and scrambling to hold on to his equally frightened brother. And as an experienced guardian, he can provide all sorts of teenager things which he and Papyrus never managed to have for themselves. The list is as long as the concept is delightful.

Schools, for one—humans do education entirely differently from monsters. He will need to attend meetings with Frisk’s educators, to ensure that they are adequate for Frisk’s education and personal betterment. There will be trips to chaperone.

Museums. Frisk has confirmed that those are real. He will have to take his brother to a museum—no, to every museum.

Not just museums, either. There are art stores. Sans knows of them. There are whole buildings with a plethora of supplies for something as precious and frivolous as colors of paint and different types of paper.

Each new thing he thinks of seems equally impossible on its own. The idea that all of these things exist—that he is equally able to experience any one of them, or several in succession, just because he wants to—is…beyond comprehension. And yet, it is his reality. Now, abruptly, it is all too real.

The gist of it is: the world is, briefly, full of possibilities. This is the last chapter of WT, immediately before losing Frisk and the end of the fic. And then Just, in the first chapter of WWU, has the revelation that he may be experiencing brief linear time between Flowey's loops and the end of the world:

If today is today, and not any day before, then the flower’s loops are done. Sans has a precious few hours of real time when what he does will matter, set in stone before the next loops begin. He’s probably slept through half of it, but he’s got the whole rest of the morning and early afternoon of actual, real time to use however he wants.

He can remake his notes, if he chooses, and they’ll be guaranteed to be back to a decent starting point in every future RESET. He can get a calendar for the sheer depressing irony of it, and it won’t go back to being un-bought. If he wants to take his mail in so his box doesn’t look like a mess, he can do that, and the end of the world will see him with a clean mailbox. Take down the lights on his house. Put up more lights on his house. Make Papyrus a new outfit as a present, so he might change out of the costume he’s been wearing for…however long it’s been.

Yep. He’s got all sorts of stuff he could do. The world is full of possibilities.

I just think it's a ton of fun that they have this parallel of doomed hope and doomed despair. Both are just before a huge twist of fate related to Frisk's dimension-hopping, and it's so interesting to me that Black considers the world open to him in a moment of insane hope, whereas Just considers anything possible in a fit of despair just before his presumed death. And then they each make actual plans after this to just plod right along and do the next thing they need to; Sans goes home and does laundry and Black decides to buy a house. Both plan to spend quality time with their respective siblings.

5: What part was hardest to write?

oh boy. WT just came fully formed out of me, I feel like--I rarely struggled with inspiration or desire to write. I had the most trouble rewriting chapters 1 and 2 honestly, trying to get them to meld better in their current form to what the story had become. What really tripped me up is trying to change what easily came out of my head, so making things fit together and polishing up character arcs, remembering little details...actually I remember a recent chapter in which I completely forgot Black's daddy issues and he had complicated thoughts about frisk being his baby without acknowledging his complicated thoughts about parenthood. Normally he's fine saying Frisk is his ward/sibling/occasionally his child, but only with the clarification that he would never be something as awful as a parent to them. So that was a whoopsie.

7: Where did the title come from?

Aha! My secret is that I just take a line from a Tolkien poem every time I can't think of anything to title a fic with. So Whither Then is from a poem, and The Road Goes On is the title of that poem, and thus the series title. WWU's title is just a pun. Whither without you (Frisk asking where they're going to end up alone, without Red, without any of their family); wither without you (Just starting out isolated and dying, Frisk's fear of abandonment); with or without you (the ultimate questions of what to do with Red, and whether Frisk wants him in their life).

Thanks for the opportunity to talk about my writing some more :3 I love chatting about my little guys. I'm so proud of them.

[bopinion]

2022 / 45

Aperçu of the Week:

"He who talks a lot ends up believing what he says."

(Honoré de Balzac)

Bad News of the Week:

Sometimes I anticipate in advance when Bad News are developing. Unfortunately. That can't be good. Unfortunately. And this time, too, I'm probably right. Unfortunately. After all, it's all about the future of humanity. Or to put it less dramatically: about the UN Climate Conference COP27 in Sharm-El-Sheikh, Egypt. Usually, hopes are associated with this event. Not this time, pessimism was already spreading in the run-up to the event. A week earlier, for example, an essential marine protection agreement for the Antarctic had already failed due to the blockade by - guess who! - Russia and China. So the omens were set.

The first journalistic impressions on the ground seemed absurd: a gigantic camp in the midst of sweltering heat that is extremely downplayed. Guess from which energy source the air conditioners are fed. And then two frightening numbers are floating around. One is 2.7 degrees. Indeed, an increasing number of experts (including the UN climate agency) are suggesting that this figure - rather than the much-vaunted 1.5 degrees - is a realistic marker for global temperature trends unless action against it improves rapidly and fundamentally. The other is 34%. According to a calculation by Christian Aid, the gross domestic product of African countries will collapse by this percentage by the end of the century because of climate change. If it would stay at the 1.5 degrees. Which it currently does not, see above.

Then there are currently more and more scientists who assume that the first tipping points - points of no return - have already been reached. This means that specific climate damage can no longer be reversed, even if all human factors were to be reduced to zero immediately. Glaciers in the Alps? Summer ice in the Arctic? Ice shelf on Greenland? All already lost. Irretrievably. Game over.

And in Sharm-El-Sheikh, they're mainly haggling over money right now. According to the motto: "You break it, you buy it". Meaning that the industrialized nations, whose wealth is based on environmental damage, should/must make concrete financial commitments to the poorer southern countries, which are more strongly affected by climate change, for the consequences of their actions (or rather their inactions today). Objectively correct. But in times of Ukraine war, inflation, energy price explosion, supply chain disruptions, digitalization efforts, demographic aging, etc., no finance minister is happy to find even more demands in his incoming mail.

In his long-awaited keynote speech (which was even billed as "inspiring"), Joe Biden, after in all seriousness attesting to the U.S.'s pioneering role in climate protection, was also all about money. He wants to invest $37 billion a year in climate protection at home. For the support of poorer countries, he wants to invest just 8 billion, although the USA's share would be 40 billion. Yes, that's right: five times as much. If even the richest country in the world does not meet its obligations, it will definitely not be enough over all. Because that's the sad thing: none of the so called economists has yet understood that the consequences of unchecked climate change will be much more expensive than active measures against it. Not to mention the effects on the literal "quality of life".

Good News of the Week:

"Who the fuck is Chase Oliver?" is certainly on the minds of many political observers currently following the race for the final three Senate seats in the midterms. The candidate of the "Libertarians" in Georgia has done a disservice to the Democrats (to whom they are undoubtedly much closer than to the Republicans). For thanks to the 2.1% he achieved, neither the Reverend Raphael Warnock (he is only 0.5% short, according to CNN today) nor amateur gynecologist Herschel Walker were able to clear the necessary 50% hurdle and must now go to a runoff election on December 6.

That means a general hanging game. Because if you follow the current projections of the other two open Senate seats, Arizona goes to the Democrats by a solid margin and Nevada razor thin to the Republicans (Recount!). Which causes a stalemate - 50 seats red, 49+1 seats (Kamala Harris as chair has an extra vote) - until Georgia is decided. So you can bet that this already absurdly expensive and polarizing campaign will intensify in the coming weeks. To which Warnock can be sure of his party's broad support. And Walker is not. After all, the latter has accumulated an extensive assortment of scandals in recent weeks, which could ensure that the Republican establishment formally supports him, but personal enthusiastic commitment at campaign events, for example, could rather lap along.

Speaking of lapping: The feared "big red wave" on which Donald Trump would have liked to surf on with his anticipated candidacy failed to materialize. And that's the Good News. For the U.S. and the whole world. Typically, midterms always punish the current federal government - even if it's not on the ballot. And often makes the incumbent president a lame duck who is considerably restricted in his political freedom of movement. That's exactly what pollsters expected this time around, too. After all, Joe Biden's approval ratings are in the basement, inflation is causing fundamental discontent, expensive military aid to Ukraine is losing support, and on and on. Good thing it didn't turn out that way. Because the message that this time it's all about the big picture - i.e., preserving a fair and transparent democracy - apparently caught on strongly enough.

Personal happy moment of the week:

What could have been my happy moment this week? That I wasn't involved in an accident? That I solved Wordle every day? That we still manage without (gas) heating? That we still have a season of Working Moms ahead of us? That my dad is slowly recovering from a serious illness? That a few days ago I laughed at a delicious joke that I already don't remember? That I beat my son in check after a long time? Mmmh... There are just weeks that are full of gray clouds and the sun is struggling.

I couldn't care less...

...about Elon Musk. This guy starts to get on my nerves more and more. Because he is so incredibly smart. And therefore has solutions for everything. From the Ukraine conflict (Boxing match with Putin or at least referendums under UN supervision!) to the Corona virus (People worried about it are dumb!) and international politicians (Likening Justin Trudeau to Adolf Hitler!) to law enforcement (Nancy Pelosi's husband was attacked by a disgruntled callboy!). And now the head of Twitter is single-handedly defining how true free speech works. For example, finding hate speech better than fact-checks. Or letting everyone impersonate someone else, preferably a celebrity. Great. I'd love to place my advertising dollars in that kind of environment, too. The bird is freed? I don't think so.

As I write this...

...our neighbor's cat Filou is stroking around my feet. It's obviously getting too cold outside. And that's why he prefers to take his midday nap at our place. You are welcome.

Post Scriptum:

Russia (or to be fair: Vladimir Putin and his lemmings) loses. Morally anyway. Financially more and more. And now militarily, too. The first terrain gains of the Ukrainian counteroffensive were still explained by the Russian side as changed priorities and first territorial tasks as regroupings. However, the fact that the Red Army is now retreating to the eastern bank of the Dnieper is now justified by the protection of its own soldiers. Which is in fact the first acknowledgement of a partial strategic defeat. Stay tuned.

[writingsofhubris-a]

Cabinet Man - C3

Electric desires had unraveled all my wires

[AO3] Rating: T WC: 1.9K | 10.9K Tags: Alternate Universe - Victorian, Slow Burn Fandom: Spider-Man (Movies - Raimi) Ship: Otto Octavius/Rosalie Octavius Disc: Ce, qu'on appelle une raison de vivre est en même temps une excellente raison de mourir. | What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying Otto Octavius, soon to be a doctor, knew his reputation preceded him in more ways than one. He’d all but written off marriage from a young age, until he saw a woman who’s flick of a hair, a rustle of skirts, took his attention firmly from the science he had so long been taken over his mind.  [<<] | [>>]

The simple gray walls did nothing to dampen Otto’s excitement. Each inch of his body rang with electricity, the very topic of the speech he was restraining himself from rocking about on his heels along to. The final words cut directly to the point, a conclusion that swirled in Otto’s brain for moments longer than it should have. 

“The electric currents are in the earth.  Their strength is great enough to furnish all the power and light man needs.  Mr. Tesla has overcome the initial difficulty, and has located and tapped the earth's currents.  The rest will follow, as followed the telephone, Prof. Bell's discovery of how to transmit speech over a wire.” Otto felt as though he could nearly see the words on the air before him, illuminated and reverberating. He could feel the draw that first attracted him to science ringing desire in his very soul, the innovation promising his future beyond this night. 

“Doctor Octavius?”

His name rang through the air, shattering the vision he fancied himself to see with a familiar, high pitched voice. As he turned, he realized that there was no better vision of beauty to interrupt him from his mirage of his passion. 

Rosaline, standing proud and tall as she could, head held high. But her features held the slightest bit of bemusement and shock, a question in her features. 

“Miss Rosaline Evans, a pleasure as always.” Not even Otto could miss just how shocked his own voice was, but he schooled his face into the smile that wanted to break free anyway. He closed the few steps between them, her smile luminous in the close proximity. 

“To think,” She started, her face tilting up to look at him more directly. “We met only for a few hours, years ago. Yet the last few days, I have not been able to move without you finding the same room.” 

“It almost would seem as if the innate electricity in our world seems to want us to come together.”

“Innate electricity.” Her gaze seemed to turn inward for just a moment, plucking the phrase from his voice into hers. Otto nearly couldn’t understand the twist deep in his stomach, the sudden skip of blood, the near cut to his gut that rang from just those two words. His eyes couldn’t help flicking to her hand as she raised it to rest on her shoulder, a delicate action that rang against the calculated nature they had only just been listening to. 

“If I am to be honest, I keep trying to understand these lectures. They each are such treats.” A bud of hope appeared in Otto’s chest, knowing that there was just the smallest bit of hope between them. Perhaps she did understand the nature of his world, something he’d only privately been hoping for. 

“And do you? Understand them.”

“Not of yet. Too much of the terminology disappears before it reaches me.” 

“I would be happy to explain whatever you would like; it is one of my great pleasures to explain science.” 

“And when would you designate to teach me such knowledge?” 

“Tomorrow? My lunch is free.” The words had fallen from his lips before he realized himself, quite suddenly realizing the position he had thrusted her into. Despite having no grounds to see her again, to invite her to dine with him, a strange man, Otto had found his excitement overtaking any form of decorum. He didn’t miss the way that Rosie had shifted, either. Her weight pressed between feet, the slightest of shifts closer to his body. 

“I believe my lunch is as well, Doctor.” It was decided shortly where and when they would end up meeting, an eatery familiar to both of them in their own times. Central to both their houses, they both understood the familiarity would be paramount to any form of flamboyance that could be found. 

“Now do be on time, Doctor, or I may just assume the worst of you.” His face flushed, knowing that she wouldn’t embellish on such a topic. 

“I promise, Miss Rosaline Evans. I will be there on time to dine.” 

The watch in his fingers couldn’t tick loud enough for him to hear the seconds catching in the gears. He had been on time; right to the dot. There had been too great an anxiety in him to have ever allowed such a misunderstanding to fall between them. His mind almost was caught in a whirlwind of questions, demands of himself that he could never hope to prevent or soothe. 

Had she realized just how inappropriate their actions and choices had been? Had she realized just who he was, in reality; a scientist without a patent nor discovery to his name. 

Yet before those thoughts could mutate into a more fatal thought, his name once more rang into the air, brightening the cloud that nearly had taken him physically. 

“Doctor Octavius! Doctor!” Rosaline’s eyes met Otto’s in that moment, and her lips spread into a wide grin. “Doctor, I’m here!” She slowed to a stop in front of him, clearly out of breath in a moment of pure excitement. The action was nearly unseemly, but her breath was caught quick enough to straighten in front of him, her eyes shining with the sudden exertion of energy that had driven her closer to him. “I’m so sorry, Doctor! I was nearly unable to cross the streets today; the carriages all but rule the streets.” 

“Then I am glad to find you safe with me!” His own excitement rang in his eyes, looking at Rosaline with a slight wonder, ignoring how his words rang back in his head. Whatever he was thinking must have been an echo of the fear he’d just felt, she was here with him now, and that was the important part of the night. 

“Doctor, you are quite an enjoyable company.” Her own lips had curved into their own smile, almost shocked by the honesty she gave him. 

“I’m quite glad that you think such a thing.” He couldn’t help his soft laugh, a release of nerves he didn’t realize was held deep inside him. He motioned to the doors to distract from his action. “Shall we?” 

“Yes, please.” The door was held open, their seats taken quickly thanks to Otto’s foresight to reserve a table for them. They didn’t have to wait too terrible long on their food, the kitchen working with efficiency for the day. 

Yet the more shocking element of the night was the grasp Rosaline had on the lecture, her intelligence much further than she had let on in the hall the previous day. 

“I don’t think that you are as unlearned as you believe yourself to be.” 

“No, I think I am realistic on my assertions.” She shook her head. “Words are the topic that comes naturally. Prose, diction, such topics flow with such ease I can scarcely believe it. A good orator, as we had yesterday, can allow anyone to understand further than the jargon that the most technical or writings have. Stays in pauses, stresses on words, those are what allow one to understand.” 

“I’d be happy to offer my services in translating that jargon you are stuck upon.” Her response started with a gentle laugh, and Otto felt that twist again in his gut, flushing at the sweet sound. 

“i’m confident you would be than happy to offer me the dictionary of your world if you had the time, if we both did.” And that was the caveat they both realized; Otto would be there at her call if only she asked. If only they both had the time to allow the definitions and explanations, clarifications in the easiest of words to understand. 

“It would offer me no greater pleasure than to shine clarity.” His truth rang in the words; any excuse to spend time with her, to delve into that what she found important, seemed a priority in his world quite suddenly. To know just what it was that Rosaline wanted answers to, what she could possibly query, seemed of the utmost importance to his life. 

A natural lull fell in their conversation, simply enjoying the presence of the other as they dined on their food. 

Yet Rosaline didn’t allow the silence to stay for more than a few minutes, posing her first query in a benign manner, a toe in the ocean that was Otto's knowledge. He was quick to explain each intricity that she needed clarification on. 

Their food was soon consumed, and their bill paid, only for their conversation to continue over the neighborhoods their feet started to take them to, walking in pace with the other. Yet before long, Otto found himself starting to pose his own queries to Rosaline, questions upon literature of the day and before. Her answers were just as exciting as his has been, and before long, they fell into a patter, he offering an explanation and a question, only for her to repeat his pattern with topics reversed. The further they questioned the other, the more sky the sun had traced, aimless in direction as conversation. 

The sun was nearing the horizon, offering enough light for them to still be illuminated, when Rosaline’s footfalls slowed, before stopping before a well used set of stairs, offering a house Otto had been at so very recently. 

He didn’t want to leave her, he realized when her feet were silent. He faced her as he should, standing at her gate. She still looked proudly at his face, unrelenting in confidence. He found himself leant against the column of the fence, almost cowed in the presence of the beautiful house. 

Yet Rosaline’s beautiful, assured face didn’t falter in the moments of looking directly into his eyes. He fancied he could almost see an affection deep in her eyes, a despire more than would be appropriate for the short time they had actually known each other. 

“I suppose this is where my questions must fall to an end. My father has well been expecting me for longer than I should be honest about.” Her eyes turned from his gaze, suddenly unable to look at him with her next question. “I do hope this shan’t be the only time I am allowed to ask suck things from you, Doctor Octavius.” In a moment of passion, he spoke out. 

“Please, call me Otto.” His title, ignored for her comfort, if it indeed was. The moments of shock that colored her face almost forced him to a moment of regret, a concern that her comfort hadn’t actually been his prime concern. 

“I hope your endeavors continue to be successful, Otto.” Her voice, carressign his name in soft tones, was the only thing he would need to sustain himself over the days until he was graced with her presence again.  Her hand almost spanned the empty air between them, quite nearly only touched his shoulder. He nearly could feel the heat in the air, the brush of pressure. Then, her hand pulled back to her side. “Have a good evening.”

“And you, Miss Rosaline Evans.” He wouldn’t allow his lapse in courtesy to change his actions until she offered him the same. Yet he didn’t allow his eyes to leave  her form until the sweep of her skirts disappeared behind the closing of the door, snapped around the wood before snapping closed. 

As he left, Otto knew he had a bounce in his step, but his rationale was quite simple indeed. 

What kind of lovesick fool would he be if he didn’t?

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