#see what gets prioritized and what doesn't

[quill-of-thoth]

So. Not a tanner or a cloth maker here but - tanning can be very chemically specific. For those curious my perspective is of an animal pathologist's assistant. I have cut up several cows.

You do have the opportunity to amass a lot of leather if you hunt large animals, but post the adoption of farming and herding, most people are not feeding themselves that way. And there is just more small game overall. Leather is not necessarily easier, quicker, or less expensive to make than cloth, it just depends on what resources you have that are most abundant.

So the steps to making leather are as follows:

(Under the cut because, uh. I know this stuff from my job, which is “open a dead animal and let the doctor see what’s wrong with it” and most of it is messy.)

1) Kill and skin animal. This means removing the whole skin, in as intact a piece as possible, which while harder than it seems would be something your fictional leather-working society would be way better at than me.

Actually, scratch that. Step 1 is know what kind of animal gets you the type of leather that you want. Cowhide and horsehide are thick and tough but provide a lot of usable skin. Young goats are supposedly great for thinner, softer leathers, but my professional experience doesn't give me a lot to go on there. The phrase "kid gloves" means that they are leather gloves made from young goats, aka kids, which tells you that the leather is thin and flexible. The main cost of this step is having enough of the animals you need to slaughter. If you’re hunting, then it’s all meat to you, but if you are a farmer pre-industrially, meat might be a byproduct of animal husbandry and not the point of it. One of the main reasons to keep a herd mammal – horses, cows, sheep, goats, llamas – is milk. Milk is liquid protein and once you figure out how to make cheese it can store for longer than meat can, at least without a fuckton of salt, which is often worth its weight in gold historically. (You could also smoke it but fuel is expensive and smoking things is technically a little trickier than salting them.) If you kill too many of your female animals, you don’t get milk, and you don’t get baby animals. If you keep too many male baby animals until adulthood, they start fighting and may injure you, your valuable female animals, or the structures you have built to keep your valuable herd animals in your possession instead of your neighbors. As a herder, your reliable access to meat and hides is mostly culling immature males from your herd, which tends to lead to smaller amounts of usable hide.

2) Scrape that shit. Harder. If you do not remove literally all the connective tissue beneath the skin, your hide will rot. Your hide may still rot if you don’t tan it properly or wait too long to tan it. Or if you tan it wrong by dumping shit in water and waiting for the magic of fermentation to work right without even knowing the difference between an acid and a base.

The scraping is also a great way to tear the hide or put holes in it. If you, for example, want to make leather out of a cow that has been lying around in the summer for a day because you wisely prioritized the meat… it can get kinda fragile, depending on what the bacteria do. I have to sharpen our 21st century steel knives literally every time we do a cow or a horse, just to get through the hide at all, and I have still seen cowskin tear like thin cloth if it’s deteriorated enough.

3) Assuming you have completed steps 1 and 2, you need the chemicals to tan the animal. Historically brains have been used a lot. DO NOT DO THIS if you are a modern person who wants to hunt for meat or leather. Prion diseases like CWD live in the brain, as do a lot of viruses that will kill or disable you painfully and slowly. It’s a relatively low risk (compared to things like accidents with your hunting gun) but it’s a risk you do not have to take. Yes, this is why some states want you to turn in the heads of any deer you shoot, regardless of how many points they have. This is part of how we tell you if the deer you shot is actually safe to eat, and not full of said viruses that will kill or disable you painfully. The other thing that you need is a steady location and a fuckton of water, because these bitches need to soak for a long time. Way longer than soak times for retting flax or other plant stem fibers. And in multiple different solutions of the foulest smelling shit that you can imagine: in addition to brains, the steps included soaking in urine, possibly dung if you didn’t have enough brains, salt curing, soaking until the hair is loosened and then scraping all that off, and then the actual tanning, which is soaking it in a high tannic acid tree bark solution until it’s ready. You can skip some of these steps, especially if you are, say, a paleolithic hunter gatherer. But your leathers will degrade faster. They will be less comfortable and less good for your range of motion. So the production of leather is not necessarily less time consuming than cloth. It is also resource expensive at many steps – from start to finish you need animal wealth, mineral and plant resources, time, and a lot of water that you don’t need urgently for something else, like irrigation or watering your livestock. You’ll also want to do your tanning away from where you eat and sleep, because, the odor of fermenting cowhide is not fun. Finally, it is way more difficult at every step to construct a garment out of leather: cutting it, using an awl to punch holes in it so you can actually sew, or boiling it into shape. It’s also a specialized process when it comes to the chemical aspect, more so than cleaning wool or beating flax, both of which you can produce way more of (eventually) as a small household in the middle of nowhere. Spinning and weaving are both activities you can pick at slowly – you can also get a very small child to spin yarn acceptably with practice, freeing up your adult hands to do things like the weaving, while you really can’t bring your tots into your leather working and expect them to do anything but get underfoot. And shitty cloth smells way better than shitty rotting leather. And none of this even scratches the surface of the material property reasons why a society may prefer leather for some applications (saddles, shoes...) and cloth for others.

@lingerie_addict has a really cool thread on ancient fashion over on twitter.

Those source links are here

cambridge.org

Youtube

ucl.ac.uk

[toastytrusty]

i think it finally clicked what about cassian and luthen's relationship i find so compelling. when cassian officially joined the rebellion at the end of season one, he effectively surrendered all of his autonomy to luthen. "kill me or take me in." he literally put his life in luthen's hands. he clearly had very little will to live, and beyond giving luthen the choice to kill him, he gave luthen the choice to give him purpose again. and not Just purpose, either, but full control over the rest of his life, as well. he became part of the cause because he felt he had nothing else left, and was either going to effectively kill himself, or let someone else dictate every single thing he does until he dies anyway, now with a reason behind it, now able to plausibly deny it being wanted. it's simultaneously an admittance of defeat, where he is telling luthen that he won, and an act of defiance, where he is challenging luthen to discard him rather than use him. and obviously luthen would rather use him.

but then there is the bix aspect. cassian's hopelessness at the end of s1 implies that he did not, at that point, see bix as an adequate reason to keep going. not as a reason to stay alive, not as a reason to stay present in anyone else's life. it was not worth remaining an individual, for her sake or his own. and obviously a lot of that is from the insane depressive grief that the whole Ordeal of s1 + losing maarva was. but still. he was very closed off, and singlemindedly thinking about his own ability to give himself to the rebellion. which makes his protectiveness over her in s2 all the more compelling. he is repeatedly getting worked up over her well-being, and acting out in ways that are possibly jeopardizing to the rebellion. it's such a fascinating transition, and regardless of how they got there again, i think in season 2, cassian sees bix as his last place to be human. the one person in the galaxy he can be an individual with, rather than a tool. which is why, in my current, ever-evolving understanding of these characters, i think he gets so contradictory and confused about what he wants from her. he wants her to be strong and a soldier so they can go to war together, because the war is so terribly important to him, but he also wants her to prioritize her own safety over anything else and never put herself at risk, because if he loses her he loses himself. this is necessarily the conflict between them.

which comes to the incredible exchange between cassian and luthen about bix in episode 6 of s2, where we can see how much this conflcit is affecting cassian. he can't stand that luthen is potentially putting bix in danger, and can't stand that luthen is treating them like droids, rather than people. but then. then luthen Reminds cassian. he reminds cassian that he already surrendered his autonomy. he already surrendered his individuality. "we're not who we were when we started." cassian chose this; chose to change for this, chose to give up being a person for this. he doesn't get to now choose to put bix, his one haven, over it. she needs to be able to handle herself, because cassian asserting himself by worrying about her compromises their entire system. "you will have to decide when it becomes too large a problem." but cassian's response is the most important part: "no. that's gonna be up to you." he's essentially turning it back on luthen. if luthen expects him to remain compliant in the way his role calls for, then luthen needs to be fullfilling his side of it, and making sure cassian has an environment that he Can remain compliant in, without compromising anything. "you want my blood? you help me solve this." he is finally standing his ground on something to luthen, asserting himself in a way that is basically begging luthen to let him submit again. he wants to be part of the cause; he still wants to be able to lose himself in it, but he also needs bix, and will not give up the life he knows is possible to share with her.

[ooooo-mcyt]

No because I genuinely feel like Grian and Scar's relationship issues entirely come down to the very basic but very important question of balancing how much a relationship is about fun and affection vs how much a relationship is about work and partnership.

Grian is someone who strongly values partnership. He shows his love for people by taking care of and worrying about them. He'll gather resources or give gifts or help them with something important. Grian is a caretaker, love to him is expressed in making someone feel safety and stability and making sure they're healthy. Grian, for all his mischief, is capable of being very responsible, and he often thinks in terms of large issues and big picture. Grian worries a lot, worries himself sick, sometimes over real things, and sometimes over exaggerated things. Grian is someone who needs to feel like he's on top of things. And, crucially, in a relationship, he needs to feel supported. Grian needs someone who puts active effort into being serious about serious things and will pay attention to him and his needs. Grian needs someone who will actively lessen the burden for him, because yes, Grian likes to take care of people, but he doesn't like feeling like he's drowning trying to do everything himself, and Grian very often ends up feeling like his partners make him do too much labor.

Scar, on the other hand, strongly values enjoyment. He shows his love for people partially through just outward expression- Scar never has issues with giving out praise, and he's very sunny and positive to talk to- and partially through spending time with them. Scar knows how to get people to have a good time, and he heavily prioritizes positive experiences and memories with partners. Scar, often, does what makes him happy, and his big strength is in sharing that happiness, pulling his partners into his bubble of sunshine and making them smile. Scar is someone who loves to live in the moment and enjoy life. Probably the most important thing for him when it comes to partners is that they're someone he enjoys being around. Scar needs to be with someone who can go with the flow and take things as they come, someone who can enjoy the moment with him and see the positive in things, someone who knows how to relax,and Scar often ends up feeling stifled or unappreciated or like his partners expect him to change.

These differences are really hard to reconcile in a relationship.

I won't say irreconcilable, because I stand firm that there are many ways Scar and Grian compliment each other. Hell, we literally see how, in a perfect world (aka hermitcraft which has basically zero concept of real suffering, danger, or need), these two go together like peanut butter and jelly.

But I mean. When one half of your relationship is looking to enjoy the moment with someone they like hanging out with and the other half is looking for a serious partner to share the burden of a life with, you aren't exactly setting yourself up for success. Especially in a death game.

[twilight-zoned-out]

With the Thunderbolts being promoted as the New Avengers, I wanted to see where they would "fit" with the original lineup.

Bob/Sentry - Bruce Banner/Hulk: Bob and Bruce share similar backgrounds and similar "uncontrollable" powers, except the other Thunderbolts seem much more sympathetic and understanding to Bob than the Avengers so hopefully he won't be done as dirty as the MCU did Hulk.

Ava/Ghost - Natasha/Black Widow: Despite there being an actual Red Room person on the team, I think Ava fits the technical slot of Black Widow more. She's good at sneaking into and out of places and can usually find a "last minute" escape for her teammates against the odds. She's reliable but, like Natasha in the earlier films, her teammates wondered about her ulterior motives. Like Nat, Ava also has difficult getting close to others, though in this case it's additionally because of her particle instability.

Alexei/Red Guardian - Thor: Both Alexei and Thor reminisce on their past conquests, holding them in high regard. They also feel a strong duty to their homeland. Like Thor, Alexei is the most openly friendly and carries humor similarly to how Thor would in previous films, sometimes at the expense of being tone deaf to his teammates. Thor was also from a different planet, though, so Alexei is slightly more socially aware.

John Walker - Tony Stark/Iron Man: Self-important, concerned with his own image, kind of a nuisance to deal with, but also "the best" at what he's supposed to do. Deals with a lot of personal issues that the other teammates don't realize (unless someone like Bucky reveals them). Often brings up useful information and strategy. Also, based on his turnaround from FatWS to Thunderbolts, he might end up having the most character redemption/transformation out of the group (depending on however long they intend to use these characters, which will hopefully be a good amount of time).

Bucky Barnes - Steve Rogers/Captain America: Bucky and Yelena were the biggest toss-up between Cap and Hawkeye, but I decided that Bucky is still essentially the main strategist and leader of the group. He's the one who got everyone to their location, he's a super-soldier who wants to se his talents to help but gets fed up by bureaucracy, and it's sort of understood in the group that he has his own private life that doesn't really overlap. He's shown along with Yelena to have the most competent leadership during the end credits, and he's the most well known (aside from John Walker) to the in-universe public, so he has the "oldest" reputation to deal with when he interacts with others.

Yelena - Clint Barton/Hawkeye: Yelena is the glue. Her and Bucky are shown as the most active leaders in the end credits, but she's not flashy in the way that Tony Stark was. She's exceptionally skilled and well-rounded in both strategy and fighting, but her strongest asset is being able to communicate with others. Clint was the most "human" of the group, and he helped keep all of his teammates' personalities from blowing up against each other. Every time he left, the Avengers imploded. Clint was also the most willing to offer second chances, and Yelena shares that willingness to risk herself to help someone else. Like Clint, she doesn't always immediately jump to fighting; she tries to reason with others if fighting isn't necessary. She's the most emotionally open; she realizes and begins to prioritize real relationships and a life outside of the job.

[chaifootsteps]

Since Vivzie can't give Millie and Loona an episode without it being a short or based off of the validation of a male character, I'll do it myself:

Millie, after the surge of excitement of leading the mission in Unhappy Campers, asks Blitzo if she could lead the next mission.

After reflecting on Millie's use of disguise, attention, and wrath to get it done, Blitzo tells Moxxie that it would be a breath of fresh air if Millie led the next mission and that he could sit this one out while he goes to visit Stolas in the hospital. However, Moxxie expresses concern, wondering if she'd be safe without a backup. Following this question, Blitzo suggests if Loona could go with her, with both Millie and Loona expressing shock and disinterest with the idea.

Both Millie and Loona want to go on a mission themselves, since they have a rocky relationship with one another. Loona dislikes Millie for her passive attitude towards negative emotions within the group and dependence on others' approval while Millie dislikes Loona for her rude attitude and disregard for others. However, since they both want to take an opportunity to lead the mission, they hesitantly go with one another.

Their mission is to take out a rebellious teenage girl named Cathy Motín at an underground indie concert, who was responsible for killing her step-father and burying him in the desert.

Both Millie and Loona use their gift of disguise to portray themselves as a guitarist and lead singer, a surprise indie band named The Rebelles. Their plan is to call up Cathy onstage and promise to see her backstage, then kill her in the process and leave. However, things start to trouble them once Millie and Loona realize how fun performing actually is. 

Millie, growing up with hard work and middle child syndrome prioritizing anything else, loves the spotlight. She feels as if she gets to do what she pleases without anyone feeling threatened, annoyed, or embarrassed by her. That she can release her negative emotions through song with everyone cheering her on. Though Moxxie and Blitzo don't really judge Millie, she dislikes Moxxie's attention-seeking attitude and believes Blitzo only lets her do the things she pleases to avoid losing his employee. Loona, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying things too, since she gets to be cheered on by people around her age and gets to do a mission without her dad coddling her. She also likes gothic rock music, too. 

However, things start to take a turn once they both fight over the spotlight (think Hell's Greatest Dad but with rock music). In an argument onstage, Millie and Loona lash out at each other about who the real star of the Rebelles is. This leads to both of them revealing how they really feel about their place in life. 

Millie reveals that she feels worthless outside of her job and marriage, suppressing her low-self esteem and frustrations with assassin work. In addition, her parents (especially her mom) discouraged her from any hobbies that weren't work-related, while she always feels expected to confide Moxxie over his problems but feels as if he doesn't help her as much with hers, unintentionally dismissing them with a toxic positive attitude. She had a dream of being a singer-songwriter for country music, but her mother never saw that career going anywhere for an imp woman. Her mom and dad felt bad for discouraging their daughter, but they believed it would save her the ridicule and pain.  So, Millie gave it up as a teenager for a more “realistic career). After that day, her parents and older siblings encouraged her to avoid the sadness and anger by helping around the farm. Surprisingly, it worked, and so from then on, Millie started to avoid her negative emotions by distracting herself with work. This led her to become a workaholic and people-pleaser.

Loona began to sympathize with Millie, telling her that she also feels like she isn't enough. She's 22 with little to no friends, a job anyone can do, and she holds back any of her positive emotions to avoid being rejected, taken advantage of, or vulnerable. She tells Millie that while her story is different from hers, she also struggled with being herself. She never got to be a happy child, always paranoid around the other Hellhound orphans, while also being restricted from doing anything “unruly”. They begin to tear up, hug, and they apologize to one another. They both comfort each other, telling one another that they are enough and that being not okay is okay. Everyone begins to cheer them on, as they get ready for one final song and to get the mission over with. 

They perform a song titled “Enough for Me”, which is about rebellion, breaking the shackles of the past, and being true to yourself. After the song, they call up Cathy and get prepared to kill her. However, she seems to not go down without a fight, using the backstage instruments to fight against Millie and Loona. She’s fast, but she’s eventually overpowered by Millie and Loona. As they get ready to slit her throat, they ask her if she has any last words. Instead of struggling against them, she allows them to kill her, admitting that she has nothing good for her going on anyways after the “incident”

Instead of being portrayed as a heartless bitch, Cathy is a troubled girl from a strict and religious background.

She came from an upbringing of high expectations and emotional neglect, where public image came before anything else. At school, Cathy was a straight A student with a healthy background and a happy family. But at home, she was the neglected girl who was restricted from doing anything she wanted to pursue, which included her love life, her career aspirations, hobbies, etc. Both her and her mother were beaten and verbally abused by her step-father, who hated Cathy for not being the child he wanted her to be. One day, Cathy found her mother beaten and unconscious on the floor, leading her to kill her step-father out of rage. In a moment of realization and relief, she cleaned the home, called the hospital for her mother, and ran away with her father's body to bury. A few hours later, she discovered that her mother passed away after the tragic event on the news station. Due to this, she never returned home afterwards and left for the road. Afterwards, she led a life outside of town, participating in raves, travelling, and substances to avoid the pain and life she gave up. 

Loona and Millie both struggle to get the job done and admit that they can’t do it. They instead hug Cathy, telling her that it isn’t too late to turn her life around despite what she did and what happened to her mom. They tell her that she’s still young and she didn’t do what she did out of malice, giving her reason and support. Sure, what she did was wrong, but it was in defense of her mom and herself. Cathy begins to break down and thanks Millie and Loona for giving her a second chance, admitting that she didn't want to end up the way she did. Instead of murdering her, they let her go and advisel her to go to a different country and change her name. They suggest she surrounds herself around good people, stays in a safe location, and pursues what she wants to do, regardless of anyone’s judgement and control. 

When going back to IMP city, they’re shown laughing and getting along, much to Moxxie and Blitzo’s surprise. When asked about the mission, both Loona and Millie lie about what happened, looking at each other with solace and love. 

This is basically a rundown but I'd like to know what you think :). I'm a little more than half of Viv's age and I'm not a professional writer either lol.

And clearly, based on this, much more qualified to write the show! Well done!

[cheekycheesecake01]

By The Ring

Rex Sloan x G/N Reader

18+ Minors begone! I have been rotting away for far too long and need to come back. So have my first angsty smut ever.

Summary: Rex always thought you and him were together, but to you, you guys were just a couple. Despite how awful of a partner you were, Rex always has the doubt in his mind that you do care, and you are his.

Warnings/Tags: Cheating from Rex's end, penetration but reader's genitals are kept vague. The reader is genuinely a p.o.s. reader is using Rex for sex, actively objectifies him, and doesn't care about anything else, and this isn't meant to romanticize objectification at all. I'm just practicing a new way of writing. Sex is dry af, dead bedroom, lots of angst, plastic love, literary devices cuz I'm a nerd💀, shattered relationship, hurt but no comfort yall, I'm sorry, it's 12:20 AM and I had a thought😭

You laid there bare while he slipped his way in. Your body is as hot as his charged molecules, but your moans are as loud as a dying kindle. His rough palm clutching your jaw to pepper kisses while you half-heartedly whimper. Moaning was a courtesy, not a requirement. Neither was cumming.

Moaning, begging, sucking, cumming.... it was never a requirement or a need... just formalities.

You knew from the start what kind of person Rex Sloan....or Splode.... was. A firecracker made in an assembly line designed to fizzle, flicker, explode, wow, and then tarnish to leave behind its tattered pieces. Its smell embedded into the ground and your clothes that stank of gunpowder. If there was one thing you loved about Rex.... it was his big personality. He was an ass, but he was always entertaining even in the more distasteful circumstances. He was the definition of fun and adventure.

Sometimes all you ever want is a little fun.

But too much of one's sweet indulgences will always leave a bitter taste in their mouths. Rex was a firework you loved to watch explode, fizzle, and flash vibrantly with all of his true colors. But what happens when the fireworks are too loud? What happens when the fireworks are too bold? What happens when the fireworks burst too close to your home? What happens when the fireworks are simply.... too much?

You dispose of them. Tuck them away into a closet until you get board and long to see their violent bursts again.

Rex was a skeleton in your closet. You didn't bring him up to family or friends--not because you were ashamed, moreso you didn't find it necessary. He was just a firework to watch until he fizzled away from your mind. His ambers always remained in your gyri for his body, for his face, and occassionally his personality.

But sometimes, you really wished he'd just stay in his place.

He thrusts faster into you, pounding, needy, desperate and depraved. What once felt so thrilling, so desirable, so irresistible, has become so.... so.... monotonous. It wasn't the sex that ruined things, it was him.

Assembly lines have changed the world forever. People gained jobs, capitalistic societies thrived, and consumers ate up every new appliance and car and cosmetic that released. But assembly lines were exploitative, coldly formatted to prioritize profit over people, and greedy.

Rex gained respect, Rex thrived in action-packed environments, Rex ate up every ounce of attention, and Rex.... was just a faulty firecracker designed to maximize your gratification until you decide to recall because he oversupplied, and you wanted more of him in ways that did not correspond to his ideas. Rex changed your world forever.

You couldn't care less about his job, his life, or his friends, not when he was inside of you. But now, that wasn't even enough because of course it wasn't. Rex could work in his place in line, tending to your conveyor belt for hours upon hours in a day, and you'll only ever pay him with half-hearted honeyed affirmations and the occassional peck on the cheek. Yet you'll still command more from him. You were as affectionate as Tyson Foods, or Apple, or Google, or Amazon, or whatever big wig corporation had a CEO with a warm smile and a cold way of life.

There was better than Rex. There always was and always will be.

If you desired, you could get a replacement by next evening.

Rex massaged your spot, whimpering and muttering: "Why.... why are you so quiet, baby? Is it not good enough?"

He sounded.... different from his usual cocky demeanor... scared. It was as though the entirety of his worth as a person, as a man, as Rex Splode, as Rex Sloan... rested between his thighs.

....

The fear that filled his body fueled his fiery passion further as he hoisted you up and pounded. This time, you moaned. An authentic, genuine moan that filled the room and gave Rex the validation he needed to gain that sense of machismo. The kind of masculinity that was as secure as the neglected mechanical cogs on a calculated conveyor belt. Rex was monotonous and loud, but by god did he have a use.

He slides out before slapping himself back in with a clap of flesh while he whispered....

"My baby.... my baby..." He huffs between steamy kisses and loud claps. His words synchronized with the sounds of his thrusts as he continued.... "You're my baby, say it to me...."

You bite your lip, not from pleasure--no, no, no, that candle put itself out long ago--but rather resistance, rebellion, apathy, reluctance, everything that Rex would define as "shitty." But you humored him, striking the match to light his fuse as you pant out, "I'm your baby, Rex. I'm your baby."

Rex was a firecracker you always set off when you wanted a show and you always made sure to set him off into a lake when he was too much. To bet on losing dogs is the very definition of insanity. But Rex places his stamp down and pays the price every time. He knows. He knows that what he's doing is wrong, seeing Kate behind your back, talking to Eve, touching other people, only to bury himself deep into you. He didn't deserve you. He knew that. But he loved you so, so much. You were perfect, affectionate enough to keep him coming, but distant enough that he could never worry about genuinely losing a bet. That was until he heard you laugh with him, not at him, or when you were so forgiving, and loving.... where did you go? You don't even look him in the eyes during sex.

But that night.... you did.

And it gave Rex the foreign feeling of butterfly houses populating with heat insulated.... he couldn't help but hiss at you through clenched teeth, "I wanna feel it.... you looking in my eyes when I come..."

To bet on losing dogs is the very definition of insanity. Deep beneath the depths of his hearth through the cracked stonework and sooted walls of his personhood, lied the burned letter he always sought to ignore.

You don't love him. He can tell by the way you always gaze at his body and dismiss his words, how you craved him for his looks and not his jokes, and how even after you drained him, you still commanded more. You never asked how he was doing, you just always focused on "making him feel better." Except he never did. But he loves you so.... for whatever reason, he does.

He loves you so much that he'll cry to himself over his infidelity even though you couldn't care less if he left you today. He hates himself for it but christ, he needs someone that's you but.... isn't like you. He stopped going after Rae, Kate, and Eve. He started seeking people who looked as close to you as possible. Some nights, he'd even pay a prostitute extra to let him call them by your name, or to dye their hair like yours, and so on. Or when he watches porn.... he always tries to find one where the bodies, the actors, and the sounds were as close to you as possible because he knows it will never truly happen. For once, sex was something that made Rex miserable.... how can he possibly enjoy you when he has to sleep knowing that if it weren't for his anatomy, you would leave?

If he can't make you stay with his jokes, or his meals, or his fireworks from charged coins, he only had one last thing.... his body.

He loves you so much that he actively bets on his losing dog. He sees you and he knows that you are bound to fail him everytime without trying because that's exactly your problem. You don't try.

You don't even care.

He could sit there in his car and scream how he loves you, but whether he screamed in the car alone, or screamed right there in your home you still left him alone. As long as he came back to bed bare, only then would you truly acknowledge him and hold him.

Finally, Rex reached his peak and lets go, only to make sure you reached yours, too. As you cum, it wasn't a powerful crash of waves, it was a poltergeist of pleasure that throbbed throughout your body. But Rex knew this was all he could do. He knows you're bored of him now.

........

In the middle of cuddling you, Rex finally snaps bitterly:

"Why don't you ever say my name when we fuck? You don't even look at me!"

But when he said that, he looked to see you scrolling away on your phone. Inattentive, careless, and inconsiderate as always. He bets on losing dogs.

Then he decided to tell you the truth....

"I've been seeing other people. Kate, Rae, Eve, and others." He confessed whilst firmly looking at you with those green eyes lit with determination; a faulty firework ready to blow up into the lake once more.

He sat there in silence, expecting you to get angry, cry, scream, or do something indicating that you do care about him.

When he is met with silence, he instigated further.

"You tasted her. Every time you went down on me, you tasted them, 'cause I ain't washing my sins, baby!" He exclaimed with bravado, he knew everything. He knew you were just putting on a front.... you do love him, you care for him, that you were worth losing every bet, that you were worth placing every bet down like a deranged gambler, that you weren't his losing dog, that you were his, that he'll break your heart, that he'll make you cry, and then it'll all be okay. He knew---no, he knows, everything. Even if you are dry and you can't keep up, he knows it'll hurt.

But it didn't hurt like he thought it would.

After he confessed his infidelty and clutched his plastic pride, all you did was roll over and tiredly mutter to him,

"Make sure you get tested tomorrow. I don't wanna have to take antibiotics 'cause of you."

And just like that.... you set him off and briefly witnessed his burst into the lake. He gets up, agitated and shouting at you, but you have long fell asleep. Realizing he was losing on your side, he went to the bathroom and wrapped his lips around the faucet before turning it on to the highest setting.

Through gargles, choked sobs, fizzled sorrows, and longing ambers being flooded by metallic water, he coughs up remains before pulling out the diamond ring in his pocket. It wasn't flashy, it was cheap, but it was a promise. The promise to be better, the promise to stay by your side, the promise.... to bet on another losing dog.

With a somber gaze that pawned off his emerald eyes, Rex places the ring onto the sink; ready to place down yet another stamp that's long dried after so many bets. The diamond was starting to yellow. He didn't hurt like he thought it would.... he told you the truth with the hopes of having your love at last, and all you did was reduce him to a urine sample. All Rex is left with a quiet place to scream how he loves you. He knows that the promise to stay by your side is a guarantee lose, but he's become nothing but a poor gambler.

So he fizzles into the bowl of the sink, and bursts into the lake... ready to work another shift in the assembly line that was your manufactured love. He'd bet on losing dogs anyday. He wouldn't have it any other way.

Because to bet on losing dogs, to fail by your side, to be stuck in your assembly line, was to know everything.

[foreficfandom]

Alastor and his relationship with MASCULINITY and VIOLENCE

“When men feel small they are dangerous.” - Nina MacLaughlin, Wake, Siren: Ovid Resung

One repeating characteristics of real life (serial) killers is their toxic masculine sexuality. And from there, we see that toxic maleness seep into how we design and perceive male antagonists.

Hazbin Hotel is trying to break the mold in many ways. It's an inverse of a 'Disney princess fairy tale'. It bring to the forefront the most vulnerable of the queer population. It has its most popular character clearly set up to be a future antagonist ... we just don't know when or why.

In real life, male killers are known for their insecure, pitiful efforts for control and domination, very often stemmed from sexual repression. They target those that they want to violate. They try to ensnare those that they're attracted to. Their violence is intertwined with their masculinity.

Alastor is written to be different. Not just on a meta scale - the creators have gone on record to say that Hazbin Hotel isn't a true crime drama - but I do believe Alastor has very particular hangups about his masculinity that is bleeding through in the form of violence.

Let me explain:

Alastor's Physical Design = overall masculine score of 8/10

Al has many masculine traits. He's got buck antlers, a padded suit, a towering height, and a full body cane. On many characters, these would all be nods to a male patriarchal figure. Like a southern sugar baron, or a British aristocrat.

The biggest visual hint to Al's masculinity is his antler rack. It grows bigger when he gets bloodthirsty. In the show proper, it's probably a visual cue of a manifesting 'animalistic' side. But it can also mean that Al relates his masculinity with violence.

Antler racks are very culturally masculine. A hunter displaying a huge mounted antler rack is basically just a less crass way of showing off the huge chub of a rival male he's slain.

Alastor having antlers was most certainly one of the few ways of making demonic form look more like his animal inspiration, like Vaggie's segmented white hair, or Vox's hidden gills. Notably, sinner designs with animal traits tend to not prioritize sex dimorphism: Husk doesn't have huge chunky tomcat cheeks. Angel Dust doesn't have spots of shiny iridescence.

There's only one example of clear sex dimorphism can think of: in Helluva Boss, Stella and Andrealphus are clearly female and male peafowl. Andrealphus displays a huge train, while Stella has a less extravagant tail display if any at all. But in that case, they wanted to show something of a species lineage between the two siblings. They had a female peafowl design, so her brother would be the more flamboyant male.

Gun to my head, giving Al antlers probably wasn't "this is MASCULINE SYMBOLISM" and more like a "this is a deer character". The only other 'male' deer trait Alastor uses is an elk bugle. Which is a sexual tool. It's used to attract females and challenge other males. I seriously doubt the creators are implying that Alastor is in rut when he bugles. Like his antlers, it's there for the directing and not the literal.

Al's actual body is also more masculine than it may seem. He's got huge shoulders and a wide chest compared to his hips and legs. These don't get skinnier the more elongated he grows, they get even wider and bigger.

Think the sexual violence of Silent Hill's Pyramid Head, mid-life crisis dad Mr. Incredible, Bluebeard-equse bride killer Barkis from Corpse Bride, Zeus-expy Lord Gwyn from Dark Souls. It's about that inverted triangle figure that speaks to adult maleness. And from there, a common theme emerges - the dark sides of masculinity in the form of murder, assault, infidelity, and abuse of power.

Designs that want to add androgyny sometimes include both a hyper-masculine chest and shoulder PLUS a lithe emphasis on the limbs, like the xenomorph, or 80's rock glam.

Along those same lines, what softens Alastor's masculine silhouette is his shingle bob haircut. I have no idea if this is the intention, but Al's hair (as has been pointed out before) is a very close rendering of the female shingle bob of the roaring '20s, complete with shaved nape. Only his coiffed bangs break the clear comparison.

(Jordan Baker from the 2013 Great Gatsby film had a classic shingle bob. This flapper mainstay was intended to be androgynous and youthful.)

Alastor's beginning (humanized) designs were more 'scene' raccoon-tail hair. As time went on, the length shortened, but the shaggy edge cut remained. Perhaps at some point, the designers took to designing it after the shingle bob, as opposed to the Sasuke chop or Visual Kei rattails, but it's perfectly likely its just the modern evolution of Al's middle school beginnings.

Alastor's Acting Direction = overall masculine score of 2/10

Al's body language took a 400% increase in fruitiness since the pilot. A stage/entertainment persona will always be more flamboyant - and therefore 'less masculine' - but now he's got the limp wrist, the hip checks.

I hypothesize that this change came with Amir's acting. Sometimes the artists reference how the actor gestures during their recordings. Sometimes it's a case of going, "hmm, the body language is kinda understated compared to the VA, let's up the camp".

On a meta level, his effeminacy pairs well with his androgynous appearance ... HOWEVER, androgynous men can have strong feelings about their own manhood. The cross dressing queen of the 1980s expresses his masculinity through sex, not clothing, whilst the closeted stock broker husband does the opposite. An OnlyFans femmeboi has a purely male identity that morphs 'girls clothes' into 'HIS clothes', and his straight weeboo fan goes in the completely opposite direction to trans-spot people based off of length of hair or color of socks.

We don't know how Alastor's 'old fashioned'-ness translates into his relationship with masculinity, but we've picked up some cues: he tips his head to people and offers his arm to a lady. He takes the 'male' lead during partnered dances. He always covers 90% of his body, even in supplemental merch designs.

But he also dressed himself in a nun's habit for fun. He uses flamboyant hand gestures and modern campy slang. Al's been in hell for nearly a century at this point, and his appearance alone would be improper for a man of the 1930's (long hair, no hat).

Plus, people of the past weren't always as conservative as we might think. It's for sure a man living in roaring 20's/great depression-era New Orleans would have had close contact with the local queer crowd. Add onto that his mixed race, you've got a man who spent his living years with as much potential for social equity as the modern audience.

(The 'Pansy Craze' of flapper nightlife referred to drag performers and lgbt+ visibility in both American and European mainstream media. It would remain strong until the Hays Code and rise of Fascism.)

At the same time, the progressives of the past could hold views we'd find very shocking. The pioneering civil rights activist W.E.B. Du Bois was an advocate for government eugenics (which was considered a liberal movement, btw). Susan B. Anthony HATED the idea of the black man voting.

For all we know, Alastor represents the man who loves women, but also the practice of being more competent than the woman. He's there to provide his services 'cause women need him. And on that note, we've one more angle to tackle Al's masculinity:

Alastor's Motives = overall (hypothesized) masculine score of 7/10

There's one Alastor trivia that we pay extra attention to: his reputation as a 'momma's boy'. From there, a lot of us have headcanoned him as being the neglected, illegitimate child from a mixed union. The Jim Crow laws during the turn of the century would have forbidden anybody of the "one drop rule" of marrying a white person. Was his father a white man who abused his illegitimate family?

There was a very, VERY slim chance that a woman of color with a bastard son had disposable income. Alastor was in his early 40's when he died in 1933, which meant he lived through the latter years of the 1800's. The times of horses and dirt roads. You ever played RDR2 and strolled through Saint Denis? Yeah, if mom and Al lived there, it would have been in the shanty shacks of the segregated slums.

(Rockstar made great lengths to condense real-life 1899 New Orleans into the fictional Saint Denis. On the outskirts of the city, populations of color live in neglected neighborhoods.)

We don't know if show canon will ever make a character's living years a plot point. After all, Angel Dust was a full on WW2 vet mobster. Vox was (supposedly) a cult leader. Husk lived through 5 wars and the moon landing. We can see hints of these origins in the show proper, but not a full-on flashback of someone's tragic origin story.

By Alastor's estimated birth date, USA slavery had been outlawed for roughly 40 years, but it was a slow process that involved individual states doing their own thing, and lobbies disrupting the process, A 24-year-old mother in Louisiana wouldn't have been born into the slave trade, but her own parents likely might have been involved.

This is assuming Alastor is mixed Black specifically. We don't know for sure: his creole ethnicity and association with voodoo screams Haitian descended, but perhaps he's First Nations, or SEA, etc. But all nonwhite races suffered during his time. It would have been illegal for him to work in the same building as white people. He couldn't touch the same bibles, or the same watering holes, or the same seats in public transit.

Common work for the financially insecure woman would have been hard labor like a laundress, farm labor, livestock husbandry, scullery maid, and other dirty jobs that had her enter through the back door, out of sight. She might have earned 30-50 cents a day. As attitudes changed for the slightly better, she could have found work as an in-house maid, nanny, seamstress, retail clerk, or a switchboard operator for the new-fangled telephone industry.

During all of that, we have an adolescent Alastor who's starting to find his way. He could have wrangled a spotty education from the nuns at church, which got his foot in the door when it came time to earn a proper payroll. Perhaps he has a military career from WW1 to help cushion things. Perhaps he was able to pass 'white enough' to work directly for the privileged white man.

(Being an Overlord is a dead-ringer to being a slave owner. You become more powerful by the quantity of those you 'own'. The imagery of chains is unmistakable. Having the two black characters - both having Overlord experience - be the ones who bring it to the forefront muddles the waters of Hell's soul economy.)

Vox is a much more blatant visage of toxic masculinity, and he makes an effort to broadcast himself as a sea captain, a pope, and a chef. Lucifer follows the same lines and has himself be a referee, a 'Boss', and another chef role. Alastor, on the other hand, he's the nun and the busboy. His two hired minions become the maid and bartender, while he has a not-particularly-glamorous-but-vital job of facilities maintenance.

Vox and Lucifer - two grandstanding masculine characters - see themselves as the leaders. Alastor in comparison values the hidden labor of domestic staff. Even down to the eggbois. In life, there would have been almost no way a man of color would be the chef, captain, ref, king, boss, whatever. He'd truly be the busboy, the maid, the bartender.

If we're gonna take his mixed heritage at face value, we already have a mess of suppression he had to contend with. Then he gets his demon powers. And suddenly, the hierarchy of race and privilege gets to be toppled. By his hand.

Maybe not as a conscious 'fuck the white man' sort of decision. But instead a 'I worked HARD to get to where I am now, and I'm gonna milk it for all its worth."

("Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.")

The male entitlement of the white man is different from the man of color. But it's still there. My Asian brothers compare themselves to whiteness for sure, but they also compare themselves to their Asian sisters. And there is a certain masculinity entitlement that's implanted within them.

Simply put, men of color see themselves as the main contender to the white man. If they get that slice of pie, they don't see themselves standing next to their women counterparts. They don't see themselves working next to - or under - the white woman. If it was a 'fair' slice of the pie (from their perspective), it's a matter of breaking through the white male barrier in lieu of the man of color. Women are an afterthought.

Alastor isn't after the Senior Manager promotion or whatever. We're not sure what he's after, but it rings of a bid for freedom. He feels constrained and chained down. His abilities are muzzled. He's likely had a long time of 'earning' his place as a feared Overlord, and now it's threatened.

And look: I get it, liberty is certainly not a gendered aspiration. If anything, it's associated with the downtrodden, not the entitled. But its the situationship of a man suddenly losing his birthright liberation that would make aspirations for freedom drenched in his masculinity.

We see this in ep. Dad Beat Dad specifically. He is seething with contempt the moment Lucifer barges into the hotel doors, and immediately tries to fill the 'paternal' shoes of Charlie's emotional support. Al only calms the fuck down once he gets to monster-munch a large group of hotel invaders, and from then on, he's seemingly not threatened by Lucifer finally making a proper fatherly connection to his daughter.

(A king is the 'father' of his people. As an actual christian angel, he's the divine emperor patriarch of hell. There's something to be said about a man who feels very threatened by this.)

'Cause Alastor's 'father' beef isn't so much for Charlie as it's for the hotel. Lucifer and Alastor battle for the position of 'dad', but more accurately they're battling for the position of 'patriarch'. The Hazbin Hotel is Alastor's labor of love as much as it is Charlie's. It's a position of power he'll fight hard to prove.

There are those who see the sexless man as less masculine. And not just sexless as in 'not sexually active', but also the man who has no relationship to marriage and fatherhood. The boyish, slobbery, depressed Eddie of Silent Hill 2 has no interest in protecting the wandering child character, whilst James (the player character) is stuck in Silent Hill 'cause of dead wife problems and he expresses concern for the child. By the end game, it's the sexless Eddie who packs this huge magnum revolver and initiates some fucked up boss battle in a meat locker full of hanging pig carcasses. A villain of toxic masculinity whose aggression stems from a lack of healthy sexuality.

In a different world, Alastor might also be the sexless masculine disaster. He is not a sexual figure in his wardrobe, or canon sexual orientation (asexual). His relationship with women lack romance, sex, or marriage. He's a cannibal; someone who desecrates flesh.

He DOES have this ... very tentative, spotty, and developing relationship with fatherhood. Not just with Charlie, but also with Niffty (who is 22 compared to Alastor's early 40's). Even singing to the children of Cannibal Town could be a nod to a grown man not being entirely sexless.

True to Hazbin Hotel being dedicated to breaking the mold, Alastor's sexless character instead softens him. We make an abrupt switch from the 'evil deal-making devil man' to 'cute guy has an actual human side his friend pokes fun at' within 10 minutes. This is in stark opposition to the sexless male archtype before this point.

In a world where the sexless masculine monster becomes murderous because of his sexual problems, Alastor is an outlier.

I believe he's still written to have his masculinity linked to his violence, just not through the sexual lens.

Alastor's Overall Masculinity Score = 7/10

Higher than you might have thought? It surprises me, too, but I retain that the current canon Alastor of Season 1 is a very subtle exploration of maleness through violence and a yearning for power. We see it in his bid for freedom - which is actually a self-entitled bid for power. We see it in his mark of ownership of the hotel. We see it in his self-reliance as a man of competence and skill.

The male antagonist of this caliber can go in so many fascinating directions. We want to see him crash and burn, for sure. We want to see that maleness taste a bit of well-earned karma.

[nabi-unveiled]

I like how most of the time you seem to try and understand all of the characters. sometimes it helps me see things I missed.

But you aren't doing that with something's not right.

Why do you hate ba woo so much? I dont get it. Ji hoon is annoyingly clingy.

Hey Anon!

First off, I'm happy to hear that you typically like how I approach things. There are a few different things to unpack in your message. But warning: This is lunch break, and I have no time to think as carefully as I normally would. I cannot promise that I will word things eloquently.

Let's start with this one:

But you aren't doing that with something's not right.

I am doing that with Something's Not Right. But I haven't been writing detailed meta for that particular show so you haven't seen that process. You've seen the conclusion not the processing.

In short, I looked at things from Ba Wu's perspective too. I did. But when I judged his actions, even taking his perspective into account, I didn't like what I found.

Ji hoon is annoyingly clingy.

I could go with a simple "I love him, your honor" to excuse everything this sunshine does. I'm certainly doing that for reading the diary which I didn't think was his best move. But I'll elaborate as I have seen a few people say he's too clingy.

He is clingy, but I don't agree that he's overly clingy.

Yes, Ji Hun prioritizes Ba Wu. In high school, he changed the direction of his life to try and stay with Ba Wu. In a high school drama, where we didn't have a designated piner telling the story, people would have found that sweet.

But you know what Ji Hun DIDN'T do when Ba Wu quit music? He didn't quit too. He may have went to the same college as Ba Wu, but he's developed his own friend group. A friend group that doesn't know Ba Wu well, and a friend group that we see him FREQUENTLY hang out with without Ba Wu. Ji Hun HAS built a life for himself outside of Ba Wu. He just really wants Ba Wu to be a part of it.

Have we seen Ba Wu's friend group? If you don't count Ha Min who is a new addition to Ba Wu's life, no. We've seen him work in the cafe and study alone in the library. As Ha Min said, he's way too easy to find. He might SAY he wants a life outside of Ji Hun, but he hasn't taken a lot of steps to build one. And he gives confusing and mixed messages to Ji Hun on a regular basis. For the record, it's also possible that Ba Wu chose the college after Ji Hun. We don't know for sure how that went down.

I also think it's important to remember the time frame of this show. The modern timeline is essentially one day per episode. We're seeing what happens in the course of the week.

What people may see as clingy (the phone calls, seeking Ba Wu out) are signs that he is actively reaching out to Ba Wu to try and figure out what's going on with his best friend.

But you know what - if my bestie of over a decade suddenly said they wanted nothing to do with me and stormed out in the middle of a meal, I'd be actively trying to figure out what was up with my friend too. Even without the added layer that (I believe) Ji Hun very much has an "unrequited" love story too.

If my bestie said even a few of the things that Ba Wu has said to Ji Hun in the span of essentially a couple of days, I'd be immediately loading into my car and driving 5 hours to their doorstep. Because SOMETHING was up, and friends don't let friends drown in pain or spiral alone. There have been too many suicides in my life for me to let a "it's none of your business" from someone close to me just slide without making sure it was an actual boundary and not something more.

Ba Wu has YET to communicate in the sincere, honest way Ji Hun would need to understand that his friend (and person he loves) is really okay or to grasp what's actually going on. As Ji Hun repeatedly said and Ba Wu should know anyways as his best friend, he needs it spelled out for him. And yes, there were ways for Ba Wu to do this step without confessing his love.

Add in that losing Ba Wu even as a friend has always been Ji Hun's worst fear. Add in that Ba Wu essentially walked away from what was always his dream. Add in that Ba Wu seems generally unhappy and depressed. Ji Hun's actions make a lot of sense to me. If anything, I don't think he's been in his business enough. As I said, I would've been considering a road trip after episode 1. Loaded up and driving after episode 2.

Why do you hate ba woo so much?

Hate's a strong word. Essentially, he's a college student. For part of the show (the flashbacks), he's a high school kid. He's figuring himself out. I don't think he's a villain. But I definitely don't like him, and I don't think Ji Hun and him will be good together.

In basic terms, I can't ship it. He can go get with Ha Min. That's fine I guess. I don't like either one of them. Ha Min may be getting negative energy by extension though. I honestly haven't thought about him much at all.

Ba Wu has "loved" Ji Hun since high school. I fully believe Ji Hun has loved him that long too.

Ba Wu decided that the relationship was impossible. Ji Hun did too.

Both ended up in their own "unrequited" love story.

With unrequited love, there are choices - cut ties, confess, or stay silent/stay in the friend zone.

Ji Hun chose the latter. He decided that Ba Wu was important enough to him that he wanted to remain in his life and do everything he could to make Ba Wu's life the best possible even if he really wanted more. I also figure he was biding his time until Ba Wu decided he was interested in dating. Remember, Ba Wu directly told him that he didn't want to date, and Ji Hun implicitly trusts Ba Wu. Jealousy would eventually prompt Ji Hun to take action. We already see that.

I'll also add in that some of Ji Hun's statements like "I treat all of my friends this way" are a direct response from him thinking Ba Wu will cut him out of his life if he asks for too much. His "ambiguity" or "obliviousness" is him trying desperately to not ask for too much from Ba Wu.

On the other hand, Ba Wu can't decide. He confesses, and then he takes it back. He cuts ties, but then he calls him up. Which...I'm actually okay with that fickleness. It's not great to do, but figuring stuff out is hard. I wouldn't judge him if he did decide to cut ties and did so cleanly too.

You know what makes me dislike him? He's mean to Ji Hun. His words are sharp and targeted. His actions too. And not in the type of playful, sarcastic way that I enjoy. The friends do that type of roast. They just take it too far especially since Ji Hun isn't giving that energy back. It should be obvious to them (in ep 5) that he's hurting.

I need to clarify that I'm adding a layer of judgment onto Ba Wu here, because I think Ba Wu DOES have the right words to use. Some people struggle to word things. Some people don't know that their words are painful. That has to be considered for some characters. But from what we know of Ba Wu from his diary and narration, he can use words and use them well. We see him do it with Ha Min. But with Ji Hun? He's choosing either to not use his words or to use them in a hurtful way. It's a choice not lack of skill.

I considered whether it was just lashing out in pain. And it IS coming from him finding his "unrequited love" to be painful. Ba Wu does it because he's trying to protect himself and his own heart. But that's also why I don't think they'd be good together.

Ba Wu will prioritize himself. Ji Hun will prioritize Ba Wu. Ji Hun is too gentle to stop/counter Ba Wu's self-sabotage and he isn't the type to be able to figure out the difference between a mean word said in pain and a mean word said in sincerity. He's going to feel every one of them as a small knife cut to his heart. He will believe Ba Wu's words.

This relationship will shred Ji Hun's soul over time, because Ba Wu will resort to this behavior EVERY time there is a problem in their relationship. Ba Wu will lash out and run, and Ji Hun will run after him and slowly bleed to death.

Yeah, I don't ship it.

They both need something different in a partner than what the other can provide.

[florida3exclamationpoints]

@secretcrazy

Ok the parent one: he was going on a rant about how college should literally be the most important thing in all of our lives. Live breathe eat sleep college nothing else matters. But then ig he caught himself and he was like "well if you have kids then your kids come first. I can't even imagineeeee omg bc college is like basically just as important as your kids and probably actually more important 🧐 good luck lollll I mean I have so much admiration for parents in school 🙏 probably . or something. Anyway if you don't prioritize my cooking classes above everything else in your life (*except children ig) then I will kill you personally" skdhskdnsk

Im gonna try to be as word for word accurate as possible for this one: "I love that all the students in this class are women. The culinary industry is a very male dominated field but we're seeing more and more women coming in and i love that. And I just want to help all my female students. Bc you know... [this is where I'm fuzzy on specifics but it had just been in the news that a famous chef Mario Batali was really creepy and abusive to his female employees and also stole his waiters' tips i think? I didn't read about it much but he had been on food network and then it came out that he was super gross and awful. So he said like all that stuff about Mario Batali just came out....] and I want to teach my female students not to take crap like that. To be strong enough to stand up to jerks like that." ...... 👍😀👍

The one about the industry being abusive and it is what it is was mostly all that was really said on his side if not in so many words. But the thing that really got me about it was another chef had just told us like. Days before. That the culinary industry is abusive. And he's seen it and it sucks. And he doesn't want to send us into that environment. And we are the next generation of chefs and it is up to us to break the cycle and be better managers and it was really important to him to teach us to be better. Instead of just going along with it bc that's how it is. And then Head Chef Man was like. Working in kitchens SUCKS and you will be MISERABLE and I NEVER SLEEP and people will YELL AT YOU and THROW STUFF AROUND THE KITCHEN and its NOT FOR THE WEAK because it's TERRIBLE but I LOVE SCREAMING AT PEOPLE so i think it's kinda cool actually!! GET USED TO IT NOW!!! I WILL MAKE YOU GET USED TO IT NOW!!! IF YOUR MENTOR CALLS YOU A DUMBASS YOU'LL NEVER EXPECT YOUR EMPLOYER TO BE NICE AND YOU SHOULDN'T BECAUSE CHEFS ARE MEAN!!!!!!!! To be so for real that other chef should have been the program head. He had more experience and had worked in the industry more recently and was a Better Person. And he told us that he was more qualified and he would run the program very differently. I really wish he did.

(The Gordon Ramsey and Bobby Flay one is so funny to me bc like lol of course. I'm sure this man thinks its so funny to watch Gordon Ramsey cursing people out over potatoes. The thing is tho that Gordon Ramsey isn't actually Like That. It's a character. But it's not a funny character because behavior like that shouldn't be normalized. And Bobby Flay ISNT EVEN THAT TALENTED PLEASE. If you watch Beat Bobby Flay it's just him stroking his ego by having his friends compliment him and GOD FORBID someone actually Beats Bobby Flay 😭 the only thing he does is make things SPICY . That's not talent. That's not even a flavor. I think he thinks he's a special white man who knows what spice is.)

And the docking points ones go together. So we had to taste everything. And if we didn't then it docks points. Which i understand to a degree bc yes you have to taste your food and you have to be familiar with flavors and people could be like "oh I don't like tomatoes :/" and would miss a lot if they just didn't eat whatever wasn't particularly appealing to them. Fine. You could get around this if you were allergic to something AND had a doctor's note. Well. Again I get it to a point like if someone is vegetarian just because they want to be then they made that choice to not eat something and I can understand docking points for that. But religious beliefs???? I questioned that when I saw it in the rules but I don't have any religious food restrictions so I didn't think about it that much but then I was in class with someone who was Muslim. And he said he wouldn't eat pork one day. And this man was like "ok. Well you know you'll lose points for that. Are you sure you want to lose points for that? Fine. But don't be surprised when you lose points for that." And he kept going on about it in front of the whole class like dude !!! He was trying to break him down!!! And I'm so glad it didn't work and he stood up to him but I can't believe it cost him lab points oh my god (also this kid was 16!!! I was 17 and I wasn't the youngest!!!). But the cheese one actually happened to me. So I knew you're supposed to have a doctor's note for allergies but I didn't think I had any food allergies so I didn't bother. Well we're going around tasting a bunch of different cheeses. And we get to the blue cheese. And he says the Blue part is penicillin. Bruh i am allergic to penicillin. I knew it was mold but I didn't know it was penicillin. So when it got to me I was like uhh did you say penicillin? And he said yes. And I said I'm allergic to penicillin. And he said ok do you have a doctor's note? And I said no. And he said well you know all allergies have to have a doctor's note. And I said yeah but I didn't know it was a food allergy. I thought it was just a medicine allergy. Oh my god when I said that. The way he looked at me. Like I was the dumbest person alive. Like he couldn't comprehend that level of stupidity. And then he said ok well you can eat it or you can lose points. (Mind you. At this time I had already gotten low lab grades from him bc he didn't like how quiet i was. So i wasn't trying to lower my grade even more. He also didn't say how many points it would cost so I didn't know what I was wagering here.) A very nice person next to me said her husband was also allergic to penicillin and didn't know that blue cheese was the same and he was always fine eating it. So I got the tiniest amount imaginable and avoided any Blue part of the Blue Cheese. Bc i was scared. And it immediately felt all tingly on my tongue . like pins and needles from that tiny amount. So I wonder how much blue cheese it would take to send me into anaphylactic shock!! That would've been funny SKDHSKDHSK

*paraphrasing bc character limit but I am not exaggerating the gist. You can ask for the full story if you want 😭😭

[victorluvsalice]

-->However, speaking of fun, we now we come to the part of the episode that I like to call "Is Fishing Fun?" Because I quickly realized that, if I wanted to put fishcake cans out on my shelves, I would need to have plenty of fish to turn into fishcakes. And currently the gang did not have plenty of fish. So, I decided it was time for Victor to resume the family business and took him off flower duty and put him on fish duty on the dock behind the store! He started out a bit slow, as evidenced by him holding a log there, but slowly started picking up the pace with a betta and a tetra. Meanwhile, Smiler started working on a new apothecary product, Red-Hot Tablets (tablets that make a Sim angry! ...look, all it required was three basil, so Smiler could make them really easily), and Alice --

-->Went upstairs and started watching "College Cram" once she ran out of fishcakes to make. Oi, Alice -- I said no fun until the shelves are filled! So, after a brief bathroom break (during which I realized I could put up those new "facilities" signs that came in one of the recent patch updates -- they do add a little extra something to the bathroom, don't they?), I sent HER out to join Victor fishing. And then I went, "well, if Victor and Alice are out there, might as well send Smiler too," and did just that.

-->And so the great fish-off began! With everyone standing there fishing their little hearts out to get enough fish to make loads and loads of fishcakes. And, I'm pleased to report, everyone did end up having a pretty darn good day out on the old dock --

Victor: Caught a couple of bettas, a tetra, a pair of tunas, an angelfish, a cichlid – and a “Captain Fishbones” Bonefish! Yeah, as you can imagine, THAT one stayed in his inventory to be brought home to live in the aquarium later.

Alice: Caught a tetra, a kissing gorami, a goldfish, a betta, a kitchen upgrade part, and a digitalistic sketchpad! XD Well, I had kind of meant to get her one of those eventually... She also got to Fishing level 4, which should serve her well when I force her to fish again to help fill these shelves. XD

Smiler: Caught a couple of angelfish, a tilapia, a betta, and a kissing gorami -- not the biggest catch, but then they started the latest, so it only made sense they'd catch the least. And hey, that is still a pretty good haul, all things considered. Certainly enough to make lots of fishcakes!

[serpentface]

This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.

[meowsticmarvels]

man. contemplating kyle and phi as siblings actually. ive talked a lot about phi and DELTA's dynamic but mannn. kyle. (well i guess he's technically a half sibling since he's a genetic clone of sigma and phi Isn't but you get the gist). i wish it got explored a bit more in canon because while the whole sigma-phi related thing was saved for a ZTD reveal it wouldve been cool (esp if kyle was actually relevant in ztd...) bc like... look at these lines. the hypothetical dynamic could and is insane. some weird connection they cant rly explain. phi actually pushies kyle away for the first one, actually, and saying he can't get attached to her or build a connection without "asking permission" essentially closing herself off from him. theres some version of phi that gets sent back to 2074 after she lives as the rad6 patient zero. how does she interact with him then? would there be some sort of resentment, in a way, that phi got to live a life that kyle never could? not amongst all the shifting, or anything, but in terms of family. idk. its interesting to me i think. they shouldve interacted more perhaps

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

i know i've posted abt this before also but i did not have screenshots to demonstrate just HOW gently passive aggressive ingo is to volo when they talk. i have no idea if they intended it this way but he sounds so "sadly my strict standard of conduct will not let me tell you to fuck off for asking weirdly personal questions just so you can share your theories but with the subtext toolkit available to me i am VERY much shooing you out of the way so i can get back to what i was actually trying to do."

[nyt1ba]

something something Adam's voice in the ending, going from flat and detached to melancholic and emotionally raw. His mannerisms and expressions, the sincerity and regret he carries openly, whereas in the beginning he was vague and secretive. Revealing himself with all his flaws, admitting to his mistakes and expressing his wish to save both the humans and the Andro-Edios even if no one were to believe his motives to be true. He holds no credibility with all that he had done and the manipulative ways he used to achieve his goals, but he remains earnest and doesn't hide behind excuses but rather shows the truth as it is with all its ugliness ... I think about this way too much ...

[msburgundy]

i really need to just let it go

[equalperson]

I fucking hate being traumatized because why am I bawling the hardest I've bawled in god-knows-how-long because someone I didn't even like that much berated Me. gasping wailing trembling and snotting over this for several minutes.