#see the hand of the artist while theyre working
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#personal#getting back on my youtube grind...curious what the vibe is#i enjoy both personally#i think ive realized i prefer being able to#see the hand of the artist while theyre working#also think thats more helpful if you're trying to improve your art#so you can see the strokes theyre making. but yeah just curious :3#gonna record a sketchbook tour + a sketchbook process video soooon
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ADMIN IM NOT THE ANON WHO ASKED BUT I WANT IN ON THIS TOO
Artist!Reader asking the slashers if they can pose naked for a still life drawing please!!/non sexual
Jason, Michael, Brahms being asked to pose nude for artist!reader
chat dont tell anyone this but i keep misspelling michaels name and always rely on the red squiggle line to remind me to fix it i keep putting e before a notes: reader is gn, including their reactions and general feel for the request, non sexual post, short post cws: nudity
JASON
he has mixed feelings about being nude- on one hand he knows its just his natural body, but on the other hand the only time hes seen others nude is when theyre doing something sexual so naturally he cant help but tie that to his own nude body... it also makes him feel... vulnerable to you
if he does agree to it hes not going to be fully nude, and its going to take him a long while to warm up to the idea- dont pressure him, of course... will be wearing the mask, honestly hes probably more likely to get naked in front of you before he takes the mask off
tries his very best to stay still but even if hes covering his bits up he feels flustered under your gaze... even worse if youre really focusing and your face happens to scrunch- shoot him a smile and reassurance and he loosens up enough to not make his position ridged
lots of scars and markings on him to take into consideration... he does feel a certain way if you capture them correctly- a good way, of course!
MICHAEL
honestly? i can see him not caring about you seeing him naked in any context, its just him... so whats the fuss? so he agrees
stands as still as a statue for as long as you need him, it can be hours and he will remain in the same position youve asked him to get into
the mask stays on, though, you can pry it form his cold dead hands... assuming you can catch him dead in the first place... you... may have some explaining to do if someone were to find the piece.. though the odds of them escaping the house alive after is low
pretty solid choice all in all, but good luck getting him to stay if he decides to do something else, hes not going to stop any plans to stand nude for you
BRAHMS
oh you want him naked? hes already stripping down.... hey why arent you getting naked too/hj
keeps changing positions because hes never satisfied, its going to take a minute until he finds something he likes... from laying on his side on the couch to propping his chin on his hand in a mock attempt at the thinker statue- you might have to guide him into a pose that works for you... you... cant help but think it was a ploy to get you to touch and guide him how you want
lots of body hair, if youre not used to drawing it its going to give you a fun little challenge- and its everywhere, too
the only one who might take his mask off, will make eye contact the entire time youre drawing him so hopefully youre fine with that
#jason vorhees x reader#jason vorhees imagine#jason voorhees x reader#jason x reader#jason voorhees imagine#michael myers x you#michael myers imagine#michael myers x reader#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms imagine#brahms heelshire imagine#brahms x reader#slasher x reader#slasher x you#slasher imagine#slashers x reader#slashers x you#slashers imagine
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:*:✼ TXT attending your concert ✼*・゚
Woahh its been a while huh...got super busy with life, just failed my physics exam 😜✌️ and now im on my school break, i decided to write this post bcs im SUPERRR bored rn but anyways
╰┈➤ idol!ot5! txt x idol!gn!reader
╰┈➤ no warnings, just fluff
╰┈➤ quick guide : y/n = your name, y/g/n = your group's name, y/f/n = your fandom's name
yeonjun(연준) :
☆ This man isnt afraid to attend your concert WITHOUT covering his face, yk how some artists covered their face and attend their friend's concert? yeah...not yj tho
☆ He might only bring a lightstick, not those extra banners or signs or whatever
☆ The only reason why he only brought a lightstick was bcs, he treats your concert like its his monthly/weekly routine
☆ Youre having a 2 day concert in seoul? You know damn right he'll be there despite his busy schedule
☆ Having a concert in japan? Finds a way to get to japan just to attend your concert
☆ so thats why he didnt feel like the need to bring extras cs in the end, yk hes gonna attend anyways
☆ but that didnt stop fans from screaming whenever they saw yeonjun
☆ he'd probably try to make a conversation with your fans while waiting for you to perform with your group
☆ "so how long have you stan y/g/n ?"
☆ "im a y/n biased, and you?"
☆ when you came on stage and during the breaks between performing, you called out yeonjun
☆ "yeonjun i know youre here somewhere, cameraman pls find yeonjun and point the camera at him"
☆ and when the camera is on him, hes smiling brightly and covered his shy face after getting those cheers from your fans
☆ you'd probably ask him to dance to one of your songs
☆ "yeonjun dance this song for me pls" then hes like shaking his head and all, refusing
☆ but the moment the music started, he danced so well that he literally became the hot topic of your group's show
soobin(수빈) :
☆ well soobin however, he'll come 2 hours early before your concert starts
☆ the reason he came early was because he was excited to give out his handmade freebies
☆ the night before, soobin had asked if he could hand out some freebies to your concert and you found this soooo cute that you told all your fans to find soobin for freebies
☆ he may be a little bit biased but all his freebies are just you.
☆ you wonder, what did he made? well...he made a banner, your photocard that he printed himself using his company's printer, candies of your fav and pastries that he had bake
☆ believe me or not, he woke up as early as 4 am just to make cute little pastries as your concert take place in morning
☆ he believed your fans wouldnt get breakfast, so he baked the pastries for them 😭
☆ as soon as your concert starts, he whipped out his phone so fast and record it and whenever you came on screen, hes like "wahhh theyre so pretty"
☆ when you start singing, he starts crying???? hes way too proud of you that he starts crying and vent to his friends sitting next to him
☆ "you know how hard my baby worked? im so proud of them, i remember them crying every night to me because of training and now look at them, theyre on stage now"
☆ his friend sitting beside him was like, soobin are u okay??? are u drunk?? but either way, his friend can only smile and nod while listening to soobin rant
beomgyu(범규) :
☆ idc what anyone says but this man will be fighting for a front row ticket
☆ literally camps outside the venue like..literally
☆ you had offered him to enter the venue earlier than anyone before the show starts
☆ but he refused this bcs he wants to get them freebies from your fans 😭 instead of giving them out, he wants the freebies himself
☆ goes from fan to fan, if he sees a fan handing out freebies? he'll be speed walking, another fan giving out freebies too? he'll be speed walking
☆ receives the freebies until it couldnt fit in his little bag that he brought with him
☆ as soon as the security lets everyone inside, he'll be running just to get close to the barricade
☆ since hes an idol, i know its ridiculous but he'll be surrounded by 2 of his protocol team 😭
☆ even though he had brought his 2 protocol teammates, he'd somehow make them enjoy your concert too
☆ like when your group tells the fans to jump, beomgyu would convinced his protocol buddies to jump aswell
☆ you spot beomgyu in the crowds and he'd wave you like crazy, like a fan boy 😭 ...does beomgyu knows that youre his lover???? 😭😭😭
☆ but anyways, he'll go on weverse and post the concert pics and take a photo of the freebies he received
☆ "what an amazing night, they look so beautiful tonight and thank you to y/f/n for giving out the freebies, i'll be keeping it forever"
taehyun(태현) :
☆ this man is quite lowkey but he is a hardcore stan of yours
☆ hes a bit dissappointed when he founds out that he wasnt the first one to arrive at the venue, he was like "2 hours before the concert starts, and theres alot of people waiting..." poor him, he thought he was the first 😭
☆ he'd show up with his mask on and a cap as he didnt want the fans to know he came to see you
☆ but that kinda failed as your fans started to notice his famous boba eyes in the crowds
☆ this made him open his mask, since theres no point in using it 😭
☆ as soon as y/g/n performs, yk damn well he'd be taking tons of videos
☆ he'd sing along to your songs and dance to some of it
☆ he memorised the fanchant too !!!
☆ bro got jealous when he sees y/f/n got the banners like...ugh he wants one too????
☆ he was like "see i knew i shouldnt have brought lightstick only"
☆ politely asks y/f/n for some extra banners
☆ believe me or not, he'd use those digital text on his phone that says, "y/n please notice me"
☆ luckily you noticed this and blew him a kiss and in return, he gave you a big heart which made you giggle on stage which also made y/f/n cheer louder
hueningkai(���닝카이) :
☆ you think hes gonna go alone to your concert? nope
☆ he'll invite everyone he knows, his members, his family, his staffs. literally everyone to show how talented you are
☆ as much as you would love your boyfriend to bring in alot of people, apparently it has limits
☆ so in the end, he only brought his 2 sisters, lea and hiyyih
☆ dont worry, he paid for their tickets lmao
☆ LOVES receiving freebies from y/f/n
☆ when lea or hiyyih got your photocard from the freebies, he'd say smthn like "can i have that..?"
☆ not only he likes receiving freebies but hes also a merch buyer. sees a cute wristband for the lightstick? he'll buy. a cute shirt? he'll buy. a batch with your face on it? he'll buy.
☆ he'll buy everything that has your name or your face on it, until lea told him to stop unless he wants his bank account balance to be $0
☆ he'll do anything to get noticed by you, even tho he knows youre his lover
☆ before the concert, he texted, 'i'll be on the middle row, 3rd line from the front!!'
☆ but he decided to go extra as he thought you'd forget to see him so yk what he did? he brought glowing light sticks with him to make him more noticable 😭😭
☆ when you noticed him, you gave him a heart and him being a fanboy of yours, he started giggling and bragged to his sisters, "did you see that? they definitely gave that heart to me"
☆ after the concert ends, he'd ask one of his sisters to take photos of him doing cute poses whenever youre on screen, like him doing a big heart whenever you show up on the screen
☆ fans found this cute as they started uploading his leaked pictures doing those poses
☆ people may or may not label you guys as the couple of the year 🤭
#txt x reader#tomorrow x together#txt scenarios#hueningkai#taehyun#beomgyu#soobin#txt fluff#yeonjun#taehyun x reader#beomgyu x reader#soobin x reader#hueningkai x reader#yeonjun x reader#kpop reaction#kpop scenario#kpop fanfic#txt fanfic#txt reaction#txt soft imagines#txt fluffs#txt imagines#kpop imagines#txt drabbles#txt oneshots#soft txt#kpop oneshots#tubatu#cute txt imagines#txt fluff imagines
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random assorted headcanons for Turbo because I like thinking and having fun !!!! 🎉
Read More to Find Out...or are you too scared?... i bet ur too scared ahaha youre too scared Lol! Hahaahaaa!!!
The steering wheel of his kart is covered in bite marks, similar to how one would bite their favorite pencil. he bites things to mark his territory because Nobody is gonna touch that unless they want all of his diseases (150+).
i just know he was fighting to restrain himself not to chew on any of the candy civilians
when it comes to music, he doesn't see the point of listening to it. he doesn't have enough patience to really take it in; to him, it's just a thing that exists and not much more than that ¯\_( ∵ )_/¯
adding onto that point, this guy listens to metal clanking sounds and loud engine roaring for entertainment because he likes things that would overstimulate any normal person. turbo is incredibly sensory-seeking and will do anything for The Sensations
someone should take him to a heavy rock concert i think it would change him a little. keep that thang on a leash
related to being sensory-seeking, i think he would absolutely love running his hands over random textures. if anyone has run their hands along a wall while walking alongside it...He does that...If u know u know... he is SO stimmy its unbelievable. Unreal.
very pain-tolerant. he'll whine and complain about it for attention, but physical hurt really doesnt bother him much until it gets in the way of what he wants to do.
funnily enough, he is very picky when it comes to temperature. he can handle getting ran over but if its 1° too hot or cold he'll start nagging and nagging for it to go back to normal. turbo really needs his own enclosure i think it'd do him a lot of good
this is a more popular headcanon and its canon-leaning, but he's an artist :-] he usually sticks to graffiti art because its generally considered more "rebellious and cool" but he also sketches cars, design decals, and other stuff when hes alone!
i would love to see his process of character designing king candy because i dont think he really knew what he was doing
he was just like "ok what does a generic king look like. uhhhhh.... 1, old and jolly like santa claus.... 2.... uhh crown..... 3......... purple.... FUCK YEAH im so good at this!!!!🔥🔥🔥"
i just noticed how his design has like 0 actual candy motifs aside from his bow being a candy wrapper and his shoes having those little gumdrop end pieces. what was he THINKING
while King Candy has a lisp, i think it's a coverup for his actual voice because of how goofy and recognizable it is. Overall its the same as his regular voice, he just gets silly with it. i noticed that he still does retain some of his lisp when hes screaming his lungs out at Vanellope, however, so maybe he genuinely does have a lisp that makes itself known when furious :3
another thing i noticed is how he hisses his S's. very cool very cool the reptilian
@/tasticturbo made a post abt how he has tinnitus from the constant noise in his game and i couldnt agree more
AND THE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES. where did he get those...he needs to See
side note, the aforementioned account has made so many interesting analyses on turbo and theyre all so insightful. i recommend u check them out
i think he gets migraines from stress. constant buzzing or pain flood his head but hes like "IDGAF i need to DO something at ALL TIMES no matter what"
hes like a shark in that way. if hes not moving he'll die instantly. idk a lot about sharks or if thats how it works srry but im going off of what the Worms are saying to me and i dont have much to work with
i think a really big contributer as to why he lacks in the self care department is because he fails to notice that something in his body is wrong. hes far too distracted on something he thinks is more important than remembering to Eat Food or Drink Water or Wash Himself or
he's like "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT ALL OF THE TIME!!! I HATE MY LIFE" and he hasn't slept in 4 days
hes so me. Sorry.
i dont think turbo is necessarily suicidal, but the way he behaves shows a clear disregard for his own safety and wellbeing. he thinks that he knows what he needs but he really doesnt :-[ i think he has some kind of immortality complex, feeling untouchable and like nothing could get to him. as scared as he was when ralph was about to turn him into sloppy mush, he didnt take the threat very seriously. like it was some kind of joke
his kart regenerates every time his game starts up, so what if he smashed it into buildings for fun. He's the number one fan of car accidents. he is all about that shit
i think his living space would literally be a garage btw. its a place to sleep and a space for his car all in one!! he thinks its very convenient and awesome but i think he is coping. he has some old dingy stained sheetless mattress that he has never washed in his life and its covered in dirt and smoke particles. no wonder he has such heavy eye bags Dude Please
the turbo twins have a garage used in a similar way, and while its still pretty shitty, they still at least TRY to maintain it. they just fight a lot over who has to care of it. nobody taught them how to take turns ever
but this aint about them. maybe another day
i think that turbo would find comfort in garbage and keeping it around because its familiar to him. a big clean empty space would make him so mad and if anyone moves even an inch of scrap off to the side he will throw a fit. he generally doesnt pay attention to his surroundings but when its his personal space he is 1093 times more neurotic
i think the big empty castle he stole wouldve been a big transition for him. maybe it helped him clear his mind a little more to practice his tricky schemes...it helped him get more subtle
thats all i have for nowww ty for reading ^_^ if anyone else has any wacky ideas pleeeease tell me i would love to hear them!!
#tw suicide mention#its very brief but still#also little edit but i changed my mind a little on the music thing...he listens to it sometimes just not actively --#-- he needs stuff that immediately hooks his attention and relates to his interests#side note i really want to talk about the turbo twins bec i fuckin love them but then i remember they have no personality in the movie--#--so id be making analyses on other peoples interpretations of them HAHA. EVERYONE STOP BEING CREATIVE NOWWWE!!!!#turbo wir#turbo#king candy wir#king candy#headcanon#analysis#<- ??#wat ever#i like little details that dont impact the story at all whatsoever. it just makes the characters feel so much more lively#like i could have full conversations with this guy in my head (normal)#love for ever#wreck it ralph
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Smiling critters ,headcanons cuz this is n e c e s s a r y and for s c i e n c e
Kickinchicken is A S I A N because i said so/j. He's the greatest in sarcasm
Craftycorn is Scandinavian in my head for some reason
In school, Bubba is usually the one with the biggest bag and the ultimate supplier of papers. If there's a quiz, hands will be up to him asking "Can we have a piece of paper?" (This is way funnier in my native language than in english💀)
Bubba recites way too much, snatching away all the recitation chips, sometimes, teachers may ask him to substitute them for a bit
The teachers are, of course, Miss Delight and her sisters
Dogday is the president of the class (if only there were more critters lol, then he wouldve gladly taken the role) or the one shouting "Everyone! Quiet!!" when the critters are too noisy
Pickypiggy sits at the back, eating away her snacks and lunch
Catnap dozes off often, but when the teacher calls him, he can answer it correctly. Lazy but smart kid
Kickin only carries a small bag
Bobby and hoppy often gossips with each other. Bffs XD. Theyre also the girly girl and tomboy of the smiling critters respectively
Bubba is good at math and science but doesnt remember shit about history. Meanwhile kickin does better in that subject than he is in math
Bubba and catnap can be school rivals, but catnap doesnt really care (nonchalant)
Crafty, ah yes, crafty, our ultimate artist of tte group. She supplies crayons and pencils, so both her and bubba are the suppliers lol
Kickin can sing and dance, he and Hoppy can go on in a breakdance competition /j
Bobby cheering for hoppy while that happens
Dogday cheers for both (poor dog cant pick a side)
Crafty and dogday are great on writing essays
Pickypiggy x food canon yeah?
Crafty loves to share her original stories and works, dogday and bobby often cheers for her
Bobby, the ultimate fashion lover
Picky is great at home economics subject
Dogday is well on all subjects but notably physical education and english are his strength, i also imagine him to be good at electrical installation and maintenance (eim) tho this is a senior high strand and the critters arent in that grade level, so in elementary terms, he's the mini electrician of the group
Catnap is mostly asleep lol, he's most active at night and sometimes studies at that time. He also reads some of crafty's writing if he has some spare time at night
9 students are awfully few imo, i wish i could see more of dogday shouting at them to settle down, id like to see him in authority
Catnap's bag resembles a pillow and feels like a pillow
Dogday is their role model
Crafty likes to look at the window whenever there's a discussion of lesson
Most beautiful handwriting award goes to: bobby bearhug
Ugliest handwriting award goes to : me/hj im debating whether it be catnap, kickin or bubba lol
Best actress/actor: bobby and kickin, worst: bubba (he's awkward af)
Hoppy and bubba are left handed
While i write all of these headcanon, pickypiggy is eating in her own corner
Catnap would sometimes lean on dogday's shoulder if theyre beside each other. Dogday tries his best to not move his shoulder even if he's busy (like telling the group to be quiet, yes to dogday showing authority)
Thats all, thank you for coming to my little headcanon talk🗿
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 3#smiling critters#smiling critters headcanons#headcanons#dogday#catnap#bubba bubbaphant#hoppy hopscotch#bobby bearhug#kickinchicken#craftycorn#pickypiggy
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Hey I hope it’s okay to message you! Just wanted to check in on how you were doing… I wanted to DM you but I’m way too shy, I wanted to let you know— in 2023, after four years of complete silence, your art inspired me to start creating again. From 2019 to 2024, I was completely run dry. I didn’t create a single piece of art! But seeing your wonderful drawings, the way your compositions seemed to breathe life into your art, and your gorgeous use of colors… helped me to start creating art once more! It’s almost a year since then, and I’ve still been steadily creating. Thank you so much for bringing joy back into my life!! I had forgotten that it existed all along… I appreciate you and your art so much, I hope that you have many happy things to smile about. Peace and love 🫛🤍
i've gotten a handful of asks gently prodding me to make sure i'm alive (theyre very sweet) and i'm answering this one only bc it touched me deeply if i wait a while to answer it i know the asker won't get alerted so! 1) it's definitely okay to message me! but, that said: i probably will not reply to most asks for a very long time (sorry!) 2) that is, i think, the sweetest thing you could possibly say to me—maybe to any artist. i'm really, really, profoundly glat that my art made you want to make art too!!! other artists have done this for me when i was stuck, and i am eternally grateful to them, and now eterernally grateful to you, for finding what you needed in my art, that's a beautiful thing, and it's an honor as an artist!! i hope that somebody is brave and kind enough to tell you that your art inspired them to create—its a feeling like nothing else. i'm SO, so glad, that art is bringing you joy again!!! 3) (as for how i am doing—life continues, in its own way. most things are not good, but some are! i've made a promise with myself not to post on this blog until i sort out some unfortunately very real life difficulties, and.......it's been a year and i'm still working on it! life continues. good days and bad days. i suppose i'm also in a bit of a silent period of my own at the moment, in many ways! it happens to everyone, and it'll end eventually for me too)
and, with that said—let the silence resume for now.
#follow up questions will probably not receive answers (sorry!)#i still love tenzō dearly and i still think about him fairly often#but i am being good. and i am trying to focus on the problems in front of me instead of creating new more fun ones w/ art#Sigh. It's What Tenzō Would Want Anyway.#one day i will return to your dash#things are just kinda strained atm
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Sorry if this is a weird question, but how do you come up with your drawings? What does through your mind while making them? I find your compositions so gorgeous and intriguing but I can't really figure out how you approach things since everything's very shifty and abstract. It's really gorgeous work, I'm so glad I discovered your art :,)
hey first of all this isnt a weird question at all & i'm really glad you enjoy my art heheheheheehe. there's an incoming large largely unformatted block of text that i hope you dont mind!
Honestly there are a billion things going through my mind at a time while I'm drawing and they all sort of bump into each other and cancel each other out like opposing particles. If you've seen any of my streams i'm usually very fast and iterative in a lot of my process and i rarely ever slow down even past the early parts like thumbnailing and sketching. i kind of let my hands do the talking more, yknow? but even then theyre never talking about a single thing at a time. everything interacts with everything, which is probably why i always end up getting lost and meandering. composition is not independent from color & value and neither are they from texture and perspective. its hard thinking of all of the ways they mesh and react to one another so i spend less of my energy thinking and more of it doing, and then assessing once something interesting comes about it. i guess then i prioritize my Hand Movement Actioning and Eye Vision Seeing over my Brain Neuron Assessing. but even though iterations can come and go quick this kind of informed throwing-against-the-wall isn't really the Fastest. but its fun. and you get to stuff all the unused ideas in your pocket for later.
even though i did say how connected everything is i always seem to start with composition. it kind of affects and informs everything the most at least on an individual piece level. with thumbnails & composition in general i think youre supposed to think huge right. so i Always think huge. push everything as much as you can. start with a crazy angle (not necessarily angle meaning "perspective" but like an angle between two lines) and border your scene within it. take an already steep foreshortening and steepen it further with the transform tool & see what shapes form from the empty & filled space. shrink your subject to only fit 3/4ths of the canvas and build around it to make it work. blow things up (enlargen) and blow things up (remove & obliterate). with composition you have so much room for fuckery if you give yourself the grace to accept the fuckiness.
and i guess this freedom to fuck around and iterate and build and build and build upon comes from how most of the time my initial ideas are very. vague? abstract like you've said. sometimes its Just a song or a song lyric and nothing else (no characters to attach to just the feel and my gut). sometimes its a less than 5 word phrase i felt strongly about throughout the day. in my me-only discord server i have messages in #to-draw channel that just say shit like "something about guitar straps" "thanks for knowing me!" "angel don't look at me" "DITHER QUEEN" (<-been meaning to make something with that). for things that have specific guidelines i spend more time thinking conceptually (the "rare animal" coelacanth drawing being an example) but otherwise it mostly comes out after. again. the first strokes. after you put the meat and bones on the canvas. an artist at a workshop i was at last year when i was in my own head about Needing to have a fleshed tangible Profound concept before being able to start something told me not to underestimate the stories that can be told just by your hands. and i think thats what stuck with me the most.
& one last thing i wanna mention is how despite how much i revel in the chaos of the process ive found how important limits are. i don't like cutting back on everything but i like cutting back on some things. sometimes i cut out backgrounds for solid fills and i love them that much more. sometimes i have little subconscious rules in a piece that i try not to break to keep a little level of consistency. if somethings a big wonderful mess already then i love a limited pallet and i love keeping parts empty and i love being able to breathe a little. yknow. but still go over the top in the other parts you have so much permission to. less is more but have a little more in your art than less. YKNOW?
but yeah thanks again for your kind words and wanting to listen to me talk. i havent been drawing much at all so these arent too fresh on the mind but i think i got a lot of what i wanted to say out. i hope u and others can get things out of this! if i made any sense <3
#asks#anonymous#'i'm so glad i discovered your art' ur gonna make me cry man#not putting this under a read more read my thoughts buoy
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do you think theyre still together? they spend so mcuh time apart :(
Yeah I do think they're still together. And yeah they do spend a lot of time apart. I think people need to understand that your idea of a relationship is not everyone's idea of a relationship, if that makes sense. Harry and Louis are in a very unique situation where they've gone from working together/being together every single day to having separate careers that demand them to be in a million different places all on top of the fact that they are not publicly together. I think it probably took them quite a while after 1d to figure out what works for them and I think it's completely possible that they did take some time apart after the band. They had a lot to figure out both personally and professionally.
I think over the years they've probably worked to realize what's important to them personally as individuals, as artists, and as partners and they have probably come to terms with the fact that there may be times where the don't see each other for weeks or months at a time. And that's okay. That might not be what many view as a "normal" relationship which is why I think people tend to get worked up. But every relationship is unique and like I said their situation is also unique.
Harry's mentioned reading books such as the Course of Love by Alain de Botton which is essentially about learning and exploring how love can be maintained in long term relationships. I think making their relationship work in whatever capacity they can is extremely important to them and something they've consistently put a lot of thought and effort into.
During a show last year when Harry asked a fan "Are you kind to each other? Do you love each other? Do you look after each other? Do you protect each others solitude? Are you friends to each other? Through thick and thin?" To me, those things all seem like things Harry (and Louis) highly value in their relationship. And the thing that stuck out to me, of course, was "do you protect each other's solitude?" which I assume he gets from the Rilke quote "the highest form of love is to be the protector of another person's solitude." I think this really goes hand in hand with the fact that they do require time apart, time alone etc. for themselves career wise and personally. I also believe they are both incredibly supportive of each other's careers which means understanding and respecting everything (time, travel, publicity etc.) that they have to put into their careers.
So all of this is to say yes, I do think they're still together. And yes, you're correct, they do spend a lot of time apart and that's okay. Their relationship isn't going to look like your "average" relationship.
#wooooo didn't mean to make this so long#but I guess I had a lot to say lmao#I do find the topic of making it work long term so interesting#ofc this is just my opinion#and everyone's entitled to their own opinion as well#and we don't truly know anything#but this is what I think#ask
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First off I need to just mention that your Uknighted dream art is top tier elite and i am in love. Like you have no idea.
Okay, now thats said, do you have any soft ot3 headcanons/scenes that you can imagine happening but can’t figure out how to write etc etc.? 💕
God is all of them an option bc the answer is all of them
I SWEAR I. HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND THOUGHTS TAKING UP SPACE IN MY BRAIN (Both for ukd and for the entire family tbh) that i just CANNOT bring myself to draw or write or anything. If i had the time to be able to draw everything that popped in my head it would be OVER for yall i stg. And then theres my in progress fic i have up right now which i last updated in like (checks notes) January but i swear i’ve been THINKING about updating it again and that counts right
- Ummm. this is just something i find very funny but i absolutely love the idea that before they “Formally” announce their relationship, the public have just been spreading rumors left and right about the princess’s “affair”. cass and rapunzel somehow NEVER notice this but for a while it seems like eugene cant go ANYWHERE without someone either awkwardly being like “Soooo how are things going with the princess ^_^;;;” or just straight up asking “Hey is your wife cheating on you?” with no hesitation.
and eugene, being the attention whore he is obviously just Went with it and was like “Well yeah duh. Who do you think set them up”
EVERYONE GOES CRAZY.
before long literally EVERYONE has heard about it. rapunzel’s fucking Parents have heard about it. people in other KINGDOMS have heard about it. Meanwhile eugene’s having the time of his Life. He’s got disguises just to go in and listen in on the servants’ gossip. at this point he’s just started Making shit up and every day he’s spreading a proposition thats somehow even more absurd than the last. Most of them don’t even make sense. Like “Oh yeah no the reason rapunzel and cass are always sneaking off together isn’t because they’re having a steamy love affair it’s actually because they’ve been making blood sacrifices to the underworld to make sure zhan tiri never returns. Just girl things yk?”
“No see you’ve got it all wrong thats not cassandra at all. That’s shorty. He and rapunzel are having a book club together. It’s not going very well because shorty keeps eating all the books.” Or his personal favorite, “Wait you thought RAPUNZEL was the one having the affair?” gets them EVERY TIME.
Cass and rapunzel finally declare things officially only for everyone to become even MORE confused and they finally realize eugenes been fueling the fire for the past 3 months and he had just Assumed they were already aware of it
eugene: ….Wait you guys didnt know about that?
raps: i
raps: NO????
eugene:
eugene: um. Oops
cass: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “OOPS”?????
- this is kind of random but i PROMISE its going somewhere bear with me. In my head eugene is NOT the captain of the guard because a character becoming a cop is literally a fate worse than death. instead i like to imagine he does some kind of social work and is also an author…Eugene has a rlly strong connection to literature and is a great storyteller, hes got a flair for the dramatic and a strong imagination and seeing how much the flynn rider books meant to him in his childhood, i think he’d absolutely want to create something like that for other people 🥹
Anyways one of my favorite ideas w them is a modern au where rapunzel and eugene are both starving artists who are making a webcomic together…Eugene is still trying to publish his first novel and is writing for the comic in the meantime. theyre aspiring towards turning it into a graphic novel. Cass is literally just forcing everyone around her to read it. You’ve already read it? Read it again /J. She’s their number one hypeman but she’s trying to act sooo chill about it to keep up her Cool stone cold butch aesthetic. She’s like going to cons with them and hands out business cards and helps sell merch and she has a side account on twitter where she gets into heated arguments with anyone who hateposts about it.
Bonus points: it’s a fantasy comic about a lost princess, her knight girlfriend and her rogue boyfriend and is loosely a reference to the events of the canon show
- OH OH something that DEFINITELY fits this category has to be the girls taking eugene to the lagoon for the first time…….I think cass and rapunzel still spend a lot of dates there just the two of them, and no matter what it is very much Their Spot ™, but after things become official it just. Doesn’t really feel right to keep it exclusively between them anymore. i have a LOTTTT of thoughts on this…..rapunzel bouncing around and showing everything to him and cass just being dragged along for the ride…picnics together by the water while cass and raps are eagerly telling him all the stories of what he missed out on. it’s their quiet place i think they escape to whenever they don’t want to be bothered at the castle LOL. eugene officiates the cassunzel wedding there….. not to mention if/when they have kids 🥹 Augh. They make sooo many memories there i think🫶🫶🫶
- Not a specific scene so much as just a silly hc but rapunzel LOVES it when they “fight” over her. Usually it’s just a playful thing and rapunzel finds it so cute and endearing. They have the exact same banter every time and the same fake “duel” for her hand and raps will NEVER get tired of it
- oh and SPA DAYS. God cassandra’s self care routines by herself have always been SHIT. I love that girl but i think she absolutely reeks. Her hair looks like something died in it and whenever it gets too long she just grabs the nearest sharp object and cuts it off in one swoop. Eugene and rapunzel are UTTERLY horrified by this and they do not let that shit fly as soon as she’s living with them. They have little self care nights at least once a week, sometimes just with the three of them and sometimes the rest of the family gets into it too, it depends on the day. eugene helps do her hair for her and they pick out all sorts of fancy products for her skin and her curls and just absolutely SPOIL her. at first shes kinda whiny about it but once she realizes how much better she feels on a day to day basis she reluctantly apologizes for ever doubting them
#God sorry it takes me so long to answer these asks i need like to set aside at least 3 hours just to gather my thoughts#And then they just sit in my drafts and i progressively add onto them over a period of like 2 months#tts headcanons#tangled cassandra#uknighted dream#new dream#cassunzel#princess rapunzel#eugene fitzherbert#ask#tangled asks#pansy rambling again#tangled the series#rapunzels tangled adventure#tangled
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i sincerely apologize for the rant
pre bullets gerard plsplsplspls!!!! they have an office crush at cartoon network then she moves away without telling anyone and they replace her (CUBICLES BEST SONG EVER) so then he just keeps wondering what may have happened, until mcr are playing like in another city during revenge era then mikey sees her in the crowd before a show and he goes to gerard right before going onstage and its like hey gerard remember that girl you talked about 24/7 in 2001, shes here tonight. and gee just freaks out while trying to play down the whole performance becase hes scared she wont like the whole fake blood/gay/screaming thing. then they finish the performance and he goes to find her and shes like all happy bc she knew he was gonna do much better things than to work at a shitty office. and shes a big comic book artist and does really weid like blood and vampire stuff so shes so happy that gerard also does weird blood vampire stuff. and then theyre happy and then the umbrella academy happens and yea
yea youre free to ignore this, i just have too much free time to imagine shit like this 👍
HELP I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH!
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CUBICLES
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gerard way x reader she/her used use of y/n
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masterlist
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warnings: swearing!
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"Maybe you could draw her more like this to bring out the background more so she's not just stiff," I instructed him. Gerard is a very talented artist, he just has a little bit of trouble deciding what to put where.
"But I feel like if she was a little different, due to her design, she'd go flat," Gerard argues, putting his pencil where he was describing.
I sigh as I place my hand delicately to my chin, trying to see what he's talking about. The deadline is soon and he's not done pitching these characters. "Honestly, Gerard? Whatever feels right. You'll get her."
"You sure?" He asks, seeking confirmation in my words.
I smile, nodding my head, "Yeah. Deadline is tomorrow, just do whatever feels right!" I say before I'm off to my cubicle to continue my project.
I knew he was looking at me. For weeks now, it had become a pattern—one I could almost draw if I could figure out how to capture that lingering gaze in ink. He thought he was subtle, keeping his distance and asking me barely relevant questions about some “project” or “character design” he’d been working on. Gerard was charming, though; there was no denying that. Quiet, a little too good at staring at his desk, and adorably oblivious to how easy it was to read him.
“Hey, uh, (Y/N)?” I looked up from my sketchbook, where I’d been mindlessly drawing a graveyard scene—something I had an odd fascination with lately. Gerard was standing there, hands stuffed in his pockets, wearing that awkward half-smile that looked better on him than it should.
“Gerard,” I said, glancing up with a smirk. “To what do I owe the honor?”
He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “I…uh…just wanted to see what you were working on.”
I flipped my sketchbook shut, even though I knew he was dying to see what I’d been drawing. “Just some stuff. You’d probably think it’s too creepy.”
“Try me.”
Maybe it was because I wanted to test him, see how he’d react to what was under the surface, but I opened the book back up and turned it to face him. His eyes widened as he took in the vampires, blood, and dark cemeteries I’d sprawled across the pages.
“You…actually drew all of this?”
I shrugged, trying to keep my cool. “It’s not much. Just whatever’s in my head.”
He laughed, this soft, surprised sound. “Whatever’s in your head is amazing.” He paused, his eyes lingering a second too long.
I grinned, leaning back in my chair. “Well maybe not everything, Way.” I tossed my pen onto my desk, feigning nonchalance. “Can’t have too many weirdos like me around. Bad for the office’s reputation.”
And that's why I left.
Maybe I should’ve told him I was leaving. I hated the idea of going without a goodbye, but part of me figured I’d see him again. He’d get over it. Life had a way of carrying people in different directions, and honestly? I couldn’t stand the thought of another month behind that desk. I needed to be somewhere I could let these ideas out, somewhere that didn’t expect me to keep my weirdness behind a closed sketchbook.
The day I left, I watched the office fade from my rearview mirror, fingers tapping the steering wheel as a familiar guilt crept in. I didn’t leave him my number or my address or even a hint of where I’d gone. Some part of me hoped he’d figure it out. But after that, there was just silence.
Gerard
She left without a word. Just…gone. I tried to keep going like I didn’t notice, told myself it wasn’t a big deal. But the absence gnawed at me, creeping into every sketch and unfinished character. (Y/N) was gone, and I had no clue where she’d gone or why. I stopped asking questions after a while, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The thought became like an echo in my mind, constant and inescapable, pushing me to drown it out with anything I could find.
And I did.
One show after another, one drink, one line, whatever I could find to keep the silence at bay. The stage helped a little—at least there, I had the lights in my eyes and the noise blocking out the mess in my head. I’d stand in front of the crowd, hands dripping with fake blood, trying to exorcise whatever pieces of myself felt missing. But then the high would fade, and I’d be left in a dark room, trying to ignore the question that refused to die.
Where did she go?
I kept the band going, kept pretending it didn’t matter, kept letting the weight build. It wasn’t like I had any choice. The shows were packed, and the screams of the crowd felt like both a relief and a punishment. They had no idea. No idea that some days, it felt like I’d never get off this damn ride, that maybe I’d crash and burn right here. But something shifted in 2004. I couldn’t explain it—maybe it was seeing my friends’ faces or feeling the burn of another empty night. But I knew that if I kept going like this, I’d lose everything. I’d lose myself.
I finally made the decision to clean up, and in August 2004, I was clean. Free. My body hated me for it, and my brain wasn’t much friendlier, but I had to get clean. I couldn’t keep living on the edge of destruction. Every day after that, it felt like I was shedding pieces of the person I’d become just to survive. By the time I left, I was…well, I was alive. And that had to be enough.
It had been nearly a year since I’d gotten clean, and for the first time, it felt like I could really breathe on stage again. I could look out at the faces in the crowd and see them. Really see them, not just the blur of movement and lights I’d been numbing myself to. This was what I’d always wanted. This was where I wanted to be.
"MANHATTAN!" I scream into the mic and the crowd before more goes wild. "We are going to FUCK SOME SHIT UP TONIGH!"
And as I say that, Mikey plays the beginning of Give Em' Hell Kid. The set goes without hiccups, the crowd is perfect, and the most I've seen in a few weeks. Right as we leave the stage before the encore, Frank grabs me by my collar.
"Holy shit, Gee," He starts, and concern bubbles in my stomach. Did I do something wrong?
"What? What is it?"
He shakes his head vigorously, "I don't know if I'm tripping, but I swear to God I saw the girl you keep drawing in the crowd."
Fuck.
"What?!" I exclaim.
"Thirty seconds to encore!" One of the stagehands yells.
"Frank, where did you see her?" I ask, frantic. There's no possible way she could be here tonight. Why would she be here tonight.
"Our left, by the barricade. I think?" He explains, looking up to recount exactly where he saw her. My heart thuds against my ribcage as Frank’s words sink in, and I feel my throat tighten. (Y/N)? Here? After all these years?
"Ten seconds!" the stagehand yells, clapping his hands. Mikey shoots me a quick look, and Frank gives me a small, reassuring nod. There’s no time to think or even process—I’m barely holding onto the last traces of composure as we rush back on stage. I grab the mic, trying to get my focus back on the crowd, but every nerve in me is lit up, wondering if (Y/N) is really here tonight.
“MANHATTAN!” I shout again, forcing energy into my voice, hoping it’s enough to cover the wild surge of emotions that’s slamming through me. “YOU READY FOR ONE LAST ROUND?”
The crowd screams, and the band jumps into Helena, the encore I should be ready to pour my soul into. But all I can think about is her—her face, the way she used to sketch, her laugh. The lights are blinding, and I try to keep my focus on the crowd, but my eyes keep searching, desperate to find a glimpse of her. I don’t know if I’m imagining it, but by the end of the song, I swear I see her—a flash of her hair, bright eyes, her face half-turned away in the crush of people, but unmistakably her.
The song ends, and we give a final shout before exiting the stage. As soon as we’re out of sight of the crowd, I turn to Frank, breathless.
“You’re absolutely sure it was her?” I ask, gripping his shoulder.
“Fuck, I don't know how accurate your drawings are,” he says, his voice serious. “Bit it was her, Gee. I’m sure of it.”
“Holy shit,” I breathe, running a hand through my hair as the adrenaline surges through me again. "Where do I even start looking?"
Frank raises an eyebrow. “I’d start by getting your ass back out there before she disappears again. You just finished the show. You’ve got maybe five minutes before the crowd starts spilling out.”
I don’t waste another second. I dart down the steps, half-running, half-pushing past crew members as I head toward the audience exit. It feels like the longest, most insane few minutes of my life, weaving through the backstage area until finally, I’m in the thick of the crowd, scanning every face I can. And then—I see her.
She’s lingering by the side of the barricade, glancing around, half-smiling to herself like she might leave at any moment. She’s a little older, a little different, but I’d know her anywhere. I take a deep breath, feeling my hands start to shake, and then I call out, loud enough to cut through the noise.
“(Y/N)!”
She turns, her eyes finding mine, and for a moment, it’s like everything around us goes still. Her face lights up, and I swear I feel that same electricity that ran between us in the office all those years ago.
"Oh my god, you guys did so good!" She laughed, too, shaking her head. “Gee, look at you! Rockstar Gerard. I always knew you’d end up doing something wild, but I never expected…” She gestured at my blood-stained shirt and smeared makeup. “This.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, heat creeping up my face. “Yeah, well, it’s, uh, a little different from Cartoon Network, that’s for sure. But I never thought I’d see you at a show.”
“Oh, please,” she grinned, giving me a playful nudge. “I knew you’d be doing something big. You were always too talented to be stuck behind a desk, remember?”
I laughed, surprised by the surge of relief that came with her words. “Guess it’s been a while since anyone told me that.”
She softened, and something flickered across her face. “I'm sorry I disappeared. I had to move, and things got in the way, and…” Her voice trailed off, and she shrugged, a little awkwardly. “I never thought we’d run into each other again.”
“Same here,” I admitted, looking down. “But I’m glad we did. Even if it’s, uh…” I glanced at my blood-streaked hands, shaking my head. “Like this.”
She laughed, a bright, genuine sound, and I felt my nerves ease a little. “Honestly, I kind of love it. I’m doing comics, Gee. Lots of, you know…gory, bloody, vampire stuff. Seems like we’re both into weird stuff now.”
“Every time I go into a comicbook store, I look for your name.” I say, feeling a familiar spark of admiration light up in my chest.
“Yeah, well,” she shrugged, but her smile told me she was proud. “I kept drawing, kept pushing for it, and here we are. I got some stuff out that's been somewhat successful, but you—you’re the one really living the dream.”
It felt surreal, standing there with her, years and miles from where we’d left off. She was still (Y/N)—the girl who got me, who somehow saw through everything. But she was different, too. Confident, sharp, like she’d grown in ways I never got to see. And she was right here.
We fell into silence, the crowd thinning around us. Finally, I took a deep breath. “You know, after you left…I wasn’t great, to be honest.”
Her brow furrowed, and she gave me a sympathetic look. “I figured,” she said quietly. “It was a pretty messed-up time for both of us.”
I nodded, knowing she got it. “Yeah, I got pretty lost for a while. It took me…a lot to get back on track, but I’m good now. Clean, you know? And I’m just trying to keep my head on straight, one show at a time.”
She smiled, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. “Good,” she said, her voice full of warmth. “That’s what you deserve, Gerard. You don’t need anything dragging you down.”
I felt something click into place then—a kind of peace I hadn’t felt in years. “Thanks, (Y/N). Really.”
She grinned, glancing around like she was taking in the whole scene again. “Hey, I think we’re due for a major coffee catch-up. I want to hear everything.”
I chuckled, feeling that old sense of ease wash over me. “Deal,” I said, grinning back. “But only if you show me your sketchbooks. I wanna see all the vampire blood and gore.”
She laughed, rolling her eyes. “You got it. Only fair, since I’ve got a feeling you’ve been drawing me for years anyway.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and together, we walked out into the night, talking like no time had passed at all. And this time, I knew she wasn’t going anywhere.
(Y/N)
What a fucking life. Leaving Gerard like that in 2001 did something to me, you know? Fucked me up. I felt really fucking bad.
But it's okay. We're good. And by good? I mean my boyfriend is the fucking lead singer of My Chemical Romance. Like, who gets to say that?!
After their final tour ended, Gerard was bugging me more and more about his comic that he was writing and that he desperately wanted me to illustrate for it. Apparently, he had been working on it for around three years, and he wasn't getting anywhere by himself.
"I don't know, baby. I got deadlines," I always say, but God, who could say know to that pretty face of his.
And so I finally agreed to illustrate The Umbrella Academy.
And boy, did that change my life.
#my chemical romance#mcr#fanfiction#gerard way#frank iero#gerard way x reader#mikey way#my chem#mychemicalromance#ray toro
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how do you get people to take notice of your commissions? ive been at this for five or six years now and can count the number of comms ive gotten on one hand lmao
WELL this is always rly hard for me to answer bc it really depends on So Much Shit... 😭
like for one thing a lot of it is genuinely luck. like. luck in terms of who sees your work and wants to buy it at the same time mostly? BUT ALSO, this can be helped a bit by How you increase your reach--reach is very important if u wanna sell comms.
ive found what worked for me is drawing fanart, which i know feels like a cop-out to a lotta ppl but it honestly works! and by attracting attention with fanart ive been able to get more eyes on my work and increase the chances of getting a bite :]
another factor is unfortunately following, but that relates to ^ reach and attention on ur work so i dont feel like i need to rly dive into that again x'D
customer service is important too imo. like, how nice and pleasant and easy u are to work with :3 ive worked hard to be really approachable and easy to work with so i think this plays into things. i want ppl to wanna work with me again yknow? if the experience is pleasant then theyre more likely to return <3
one last thing is that like...hmm how do i word this. the appeal of ur art does matter to Some degree i think, but not as much as i think ppl assume? like ok. there are ppl with insanely detailed and intricate work that looks incredible like painterly masterpieces but they are Unable to get commissions bc of some other factor like lack of reach or something. then there are ppl with really simplistic art styles that may seem significantly "less quality" than the painterly masterpieces from the other person but they get commissions out the wazoo. so while i think you do have to have some level of appeal with your art, i dont think its the Only Thing that matters bc like i mentioned ppl dont always care abt how the art looks in terms of "quality" PLUS art is very subjective and one thing could look insanely good to one person but it looks like shit to someone else yknow? so i dont like to place a lot of emphasis on this.
in relation to ^ this, i think popularity matters to Some degree sometimes. i do know ppl who have kind of "lower-quality" (i hate saying that) work compared to others but still get an insane amt of comms bc theyre way more popular. ppl want to say they own a piece by this popular artist yknow? if that makes sense??? so just reiterating its not always about how the art looks, sometimes its other stuff in addition to it
uhhhhh gosh. i hope Any of this was helpful, like i said this is always an extremely difficult question for me to answer bc again things that work for me do not work for everyone because we make different things and are different people! i consider myself EXTREMELY lucky to be able to get the amount of comms i do (i do this for a living; commissions are my Only income which is why i put so much emphasis on them) and i know a lot of people cannot achieve this sorta thing and thats rly sad but its not always completely in our control :(
but i wish u the absolute best of luck and i hope things pick up for u in the future..!!!
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for the anon earlier. some random pnf headcanons 💯 i might have talked about some of these before but i'll take any chance to talk about stuff i like
i've DEFINITELY talked about this one before but as adults phineas and isabella are divorced besties with a son. they love each other soooo much but the romance part just didn't really work.
yall also already know i hc jeremy as bi but i find it worth mentioning because it was one of my first lgbt headcanons EVER after i figured out i could do that. buford and baljeet were probably first.
eliza and nicolette are endgame. do you see my vision
it doesn't matter to the show whatsoever but i do have ideas for what happened to mr flynn and mrs fletcher. in my timeline mr flynn was abusive and linda left him when she was pregnant with phineas, and mrs fletcher died at some point. idk how. ferb was too young to remember her. i have not worked out how close she and lawrence were but she had green hair
phineas and ferb cure multiple cancers in 10th grade and make the patents open-source
one of my early internet friends turned the drummer in jeremy's band into an oc named hugo.... he was in a situationship with jenny that lasted well past their 30s
speaking of jenny i think she and django disappeared for a bit because their rich artist dad took them to. like. greece or something. for the remainder of the summer and theyre just living their best life on a veranda on the other side of the planet until the school year starts
phineas, ferb, and baljeet COULD graduate VERY early but they purposely stay in the same grade as their friends because they love them. once the acts/sats/ap exams come around though its over for you hoes.
candace and stacy went to horse camp (a week long program during the summer teaching kids to ride horses) every summer until high school. at which point they decided it was For Babies. but they're both still horse girls deep down.
since we know that jeremy has liked candace longer than she's liked him, i think he was a really shy kid. he was too nervous to even look at her some days. when she gave him that pencil that one time, he didn't even say anything. he broke out of his shell later and became a friendly young man but candace still made him nervous. etc etc.
xavier and fred are movie buffs. they're usually logging one film per day. if letterboxd still exists on the future their profiles would be legendary.
jeremy picked the name fred. he was fine with candace already having names picked out, but once they found out they were having twins, she texted him a link to a baby name website and told him to pick his favorite. He picked Fred.
jeremy has written an entire album about candace and its all shit that sounds like Chasing Cars and candace LOVES IT
stacy interning at owca is how she meets her girlfriend vanessa and also how she meets her future wife in uruguay
buford and isabella have ice cream romcom sleepovers and nobody else is invited this is THEIR bonding time
IN MY TIMELINE JEREMY AND COLTRANE WERE AT THE ROBOT RIOT IN THE ORANGE TREEHOUSE ROBOT WHILE CANDACE AND STACY WERE IN THE PINK ONE. #COPING
sometimes the flynn fletcher kids would spend entire days at the antique shop before candace was old enough to watch the boys
this isn't really a headcanon but i want to see some isabella and jeremy bro moments. Because of In love with #TwoCrazyRedheads
Thats the only ones i can think of right now. My hands are shaking
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Hob is a former escort, now a permanent ornament to some rich guy (you know what, let’s say burgess). Orphaned at an early age, hob has never known another way of life, other than scraping by using what he can. And often that’s been his body.
At least with burgess he knows where his meals are coming from and he knows what to expect and how to please him. he knows burgess isn’t going to share him around or hurt him. But he’s very jaded about love.
Enter poet dream. Dream is an aspiring writer who grew up pretty sheltered. This is a dream who’s never been heart broken, or lost a son, who believes in true love and the moment he sees hob, he feels it.
Maybe burgess is trying to court Dream’s sister, death. Death isn’t into it but it does get them invited to a party at burgess’ estate. and that’s where Dream first meets hob.
Hob is getting towed around by burgess, wearing clothes picked for him, laughing at all the right times, while being very clearly bored. Enamored with his beautiful brown eyes, Dream follows him around the party, heart pounding in his ears. And when burgess is distracted, Dream takes his chance. He introduces himself to hob and in the same breath tells him that he’s never seen anyone look so lovely or so lonely.
Hob just laughs, charmed despite himself. But they talk, secluded on a balcony all night. Hob finds himself opening up about his life, about how he is tired of being used by the highest bidder, about how he always wanted more for himself but has stopped believing it’s possible. And dream recites his poems for him and tells hob about how he’s always dreamed of meeting someone he could talk to, just like this. They both marvel at how different their lives have been, despite being about the same age. Finally, they kiss under the moonlight. Dream begs hob to leave burgess and run away with him. But hob hesitates. Dream is a penniless artist. And burgess might be old but he’s a dangerous man. Hob knows he wouldn’t just let hob go without consequences.
But does he dare? For the first time in a long time, hob is starting to hope again.
Escort Hob and soft poet Dream... oh they're a match made in heaven. I love them.
Hob wants to believe that he can have more than this life. He's tired physically, and tired of being disrespected too. It's all very well knowing that he's got food and a roof over his head, but he really doesn't feel safe. Maybe starving in a shitty flat with Dream would be the better alternative, as at least he'd feel loved. Dream keeps sending him letters with these amazing poems in them and every time, Hob feels a bit of his broken heart coming back together.
He asks politely for Burgess to accept his "resignation", but that goes about as well as you might expect. Burgess isn't prepared to let an asset like Hob get away.
The thing is, Hob grew up on the streets. He's dangerous too, even if he pretends not to be. And an old man is still an old man. Sock him in the jaw once and he'll keel right over. Hob empties the safe in the office and gets the hell out of there.
He shows up at Dream’s flat with bruised knuckles, a bag of cash, and a willingness to make it work. They really don't have time, since Hob is pretty sure he's not going to just get away with stealing from Burgess. But Dream pins Hob to the door with soft, adoring hands and kisses him until theyre both lightheaded. That night, Dream just holds him. Doesn't ask for anything more. He seems entirely happy just to have Hob in his arms.
And really Hob is still far from being safe. His future is totally uncertain. But there's Dream, and poetry, and a bag of Burgess's dirty cash. Its a start towards a better life. That's for sure.
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OK OK SO!!
First off!!! Hello fellow davejade enjoyer i see you. Second off—what sort of things do you wish you could’ve seen with these two in canon :0. Could be expansion on canon scene, arc direction, or just a new scene entirely. for me personally I would’ve loved to see some genuine fighting collaboration going on. I felt VERY teased with all the magic combo’s in collide.
Third! I know they do a lot of music collaboration in canon, and I’ve seen some things with them making a band together post canon. What sort of sound do you think they’d have/what artist do you think they’d sound like?
Thank you :))
okay god theres so much i wish was expanded on in canon with regard to dave and jade
this post is swan dive into homestuck meta and took me over a day to write. so i would appreciate feedback or discussion on this if you'd like, reblogs appreciated!
despite this question being posed as davejade related, my answers here are actually relevant for anyone interested in homestuck meta as well.
it’s just recently come to my attention that there are a a handful of people on twitter who are vocal davejade dislikers. i didnt know it was actually disliked until i looked it up on twitter, i honestly thought it was a joke blown out of proportion but no they exist! it surprised me a lot to see people think they "lack chemistry". not only because knowing what i know about them thats a ridiculous insinuation, but also i haven't seen the vitriol on tumblr. probably because we can actually poast about it on here in an unabridged manner which thus enables better, deeper critical analysis and engagement with the media. i think also people forget that dave strider is canonically bisexual and are too yaoipilled + facing the consequences of the epilogues to even give davejade a serious look/analysis. (dave dates terezi and karkat in separate timelines, thinks jane is hot, thinks roxy is a babe but shoves it down when he discovers she’s his ectomom lmfao. davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dated jade! but i'm going to cover that in more depth in this post since theres a lot of misunderstandings about the nature of that relationship in fanon.)
(as a side note according to what some people have told me in inbox and what ive seen lol i think that ive been inadvertently been getting people into davejade. it's all in my davejade tag here in chronological order if you'd like to get a Whiff. be sure to read the tags on posts in there too!)
even though theres a lot in this post as it is, it doesn't cover everything ive talked about wrt davejade, and i think it would benefit readers to have complementary posts alongside this for the full picture with stuff it doesn't cover. there's a ton about why theyre cute and why i think they work well together in that tag.
here's some highlight analysis posts, but be sure to check the tag because there's a more in there:
post a / post b / post c / post d / post e / post f (← one of my favorite ask responses ive ever gotten)
i think a huge chunk of the issue has to do with how the narrative handles dave and jade. one of the most damning things to me is how glossed over their canon interactions were in act 5 despite them collaborating on one of the most important things in the story. i haven't talked about this yet but i'm going to do so here. because they’re put on the backburner by the focus of the narrative during act 5, people who don’t read carefully will miss the implications that are there all along in canon but easily passed over.
under the cut ive separated it into multiple parts
1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails
this is an analysis examining apart exactly what jade and dave did while frog breeding. i wrote it while high which was extremely enlightening and it allowed me to comprehend it and hopefully explain it in an understandable way. i also discuss how shitty the lack of on-screen communication between jade and dave was for this part and the next.
2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir
ive discussed this one before on my blog so it's not as dense (see davejade tag). but i still sewed the gifs together and discuss how unfortunate this was to be be delegated to a banner at the top of mspa and the neglect of that whole arc despite the outcomes of it being reissued by characters thousands of pages later
3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade
i get into davesprite's head here and try to make his motivations about the breakup clear to the extent that i can infer because jesus fuck i love these characters way too much ive known them for a decade i understand their core personality structures and why they think what they do and what is most likely to happen when extrapolating? i also talk about how grimbark jade changed the way the fandom perceives their relationship, leaving davejade on a low note instead of a high note. and then hs epilogues had even worse consequences for davejade but i wont get into it because it was character assassination all around and doesnt deserve my time or yours. but if you wanna know what i think, here
4. The music question
where actually answer this ask like it's an ask and not an essay
1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails
i wish we could have seen what collecting frogs entailed for the two of them. what exactly were they doing? jade’s quest is one of the most interesting.
before i start i want to take a tangent and say the frog breeding reminds me of back in 2020-2021 when i would breed hybrid flowers in animal crossing new horizons to get a very specific gene sequence for these flowers to not only use to breed for hybrids, but to get known gene sequences that i could use to “check” the genes of other flowers. the goal is to get two parent flowers whose sequences when bred would make a specific phenotype 100% of the time.
this sounds complicated but here’s what i did for the lilies:
(“rare island” refers to one of the first acnh patches that removed a nook miles island from the pool that had hybrid versions of your native flower of very specific phenotypes for each color. i wrote out the breeding chains to get parents that would always breed that exact flower found on the rare hybrid nmt island that is no longer available.)
the cleanup ALL TO GET the white 2-2-2 lily looked like this. and after i got white 2-2-2 lily it was smooth sailing
after all that i could use the orange 2-2-0 lilies and white 2-2-2 lilies made in the black lily process and get rare island orange 2-2-1 lilies 100% of the time. in mendelian genetics these numbers (2-2-1) are quite literally RR-YY-Ww.
RR-YY-ww (orange) x RR-YY-WW (white) = RR-YY-Ww (orange: heterozygous Ww gene)
and all that effort into getting white 2-2-2 lilies enables me to get it over and over again now. i don’t have to repeat that process to get rare island pink lilies. all i need to do for the pink 2-0-2 lilies is breed two default bag red lilies (2-0-1) together. 50% will be red (2-0-1) lilies, 25% will be black 2-0-0 lilies, and the last 25% will be pink (2-0-2) lilies.
anyway sorry back to the main point. FROG BREEDING. it just reminded me of it. now that i think of it the frog breeding process also reminds me a lot of artbreeder back from when AI was only a fun little toy 4-5 years ago
ok so have a look at what kanaya says about what jade must do. this is the coolest quest imo because of how it progresses and how long it actually is
here’s how it works. remember back in act 2, when the wayward vagabond needed to tie a longer cable to descend down the ship (and refused to give up the ones that made up his mayoral sash)? he used the appearifier in the ship to appearify the extra cable across the gap to his location? that’s how the appearifier normally works when when it’s locked to the present. it’s very straightforward.
when jade appearifies a frozen frog, it shows us this exact thing. she appearified the actual frog itself (the same way WV appearified the actual cable across the gap) to her exact location. it can get the frog out of the ice in the way WV could untrap serenity from the amber. if something’s destiny wouldn’t otherwise be changed, it will not be paradoxified, it will just simply itself be warped to that location, with precise carving if it is somehow trapped inside of something else.
if you could appearify it to your location right now, you wouldnt be able to take it out the appearifier’s crosshairs in person later to alter its destiny because the object won’t be there at that time. it wouldve been with you the entire time. unless you decide to take the appearified item back to that location so that you could appearify it in the past, but that’s the most pointless time loop ever and doesn’t change its destiny.
for this icicle frog jade and dave weren’t capable of changing its destiny anyway, because it was completely encased in ice, and just didn’t bother to go after it. partially because it was with jade at the appearifier the entire time anyway and she can’t exactly put it back in there in the future. the point is, besides jade appearifying it to her location, the frog had no other possible routes of destiny. in that part of lofaf where she appearified the frozen frog from, the ice is too deep to get anything out of it (other than appearifying it) and i’m not sure the forge would have melted it in time before their reckoning ended anyway.
the goal of jade and dave is to target frogs on the appearifier screen and trust that their future selves follow through in altering the frog’s destiny. if so, then the frog’s paradox slime will appear instead and its genes would be collected in addition to creating offspring between multiple paradox clone frog genes. then, dave and jade would necessarily have to go out adventuring and find the frog so that they end up following through for their past selves.
if i understand correctly, jade is creating all the frogs on her planet that grow up with manually modified genes. these frogs must be genetically altered from their parents so that the frogs she creates don’t grow up to become one of their parents (as they’d be identical). the mutant offspring frogs “generation A” she ectobiologizes will eventually mature from tadpoles to frogs, assisted by dave’s time travel. then she will eventually target “generation A” with the appearifier to get their paradox slime to fuse with some other frogs’ paradox slime and create new slightly altered frogs “generation B” (and then follow through on altering the “generation A” frogs’ destiny so their slime and genes can be paradoxified by jade and dave’s past selves). repeat until the genes are fine tuned for the genesis frog.
this is why i compared it to my breeding in animal crossing. getting the genesis frog reminds me of the blue rose paths. i worked with the garden council back in the day and i used backwardsN’s “cesspool” method, except i honestly gotta say my white 2-2-2 lily thing was much more involved and carefully maneuvered in a way that i imagine frog breeding is more like. backwardsN’s “genepool method” was basically making a red-orange-black rose primordial soup and waiting for a blue rose to emerge out of it, just increasing the chances seeing a blue rose sprout the next day after watering with each generation of offspring. you KNOW my ass was using time travel, even if i happened to get lucky and got a blue rose without even finishing the big turtle plot. without time travel, most players (95%) will get their first blue rose before these # of days. (open up advanced tag)
there must be so many daves running around to help her going back in time all within the span of a few hours while still having their own linear, older timelines that are much longer than the “time stage” they’re actually functioning in. this sounds complicated but it’s not. think of this “time stage” as analogous to the 3 days until the moon falls in majoras mask. it’s the “time window” all the time travel takes place within, but link doesn’t become a day younger when he travels to a day ago. the timeline of his “self” is older but is kept within the confines of the 3-day timeframe. similarly, in tears of the kingdom, two master swords exist simultaneously for most of history, but the one on the light dragon’s head (who was above the cloud barrier before the upheaval btw) is further ahead on its own linear timeline: it starts as the other, pre-gloomed master sword → broken by gloom → sent to the past to be repaired → renewed over time, existing at the same time on the “time stage” as its own pre-gloomed past self but ahead on its own linear timeline
now imagine this but within the “time stage” of just a few hours within the same 24-hour period. kanaya says frog breeding ordinarily takes weeks. multiple daves can exist simultaneously because they’re operating in the same few-hour-timeframe but one can linearly be days ahead of another. it’s the exact same thing as breeding flowers in animal crossing for irl days but to your game it’s whatever date you have it set to. your irl progress isn’t lost if you go back a few days in settings. i’d often find a week in june to use as a “time stage” to loop through when it would rain at least one hour on each day of that week which would save me the hassle of watering my flowers every day before time traveling to the next.
it must’ve sucked for dave to hear jade say the same things over and over again. the novelty probably wore off pretty fast lol…… dave says he saw his future self fighting and dying to jack and knew that’s what he’d eventually have to do as well. every single dave at all points of his linear timeline understood that and it probably settled something horrible into his heart.
im imagining during the original run dave was thinking to himself: “im bored but cant alter anything about this without creating a doomed timeline. if i dont see my future self hugging jade then i cant hug her even though i really fuckin want to. note to future self: hug jade. aww shit look at me go guess i remembered. hell fucking yes cant wait for that to be me in a few hours” and gives a thumbs up
future dave pov, hugging jade and watching his past self give him a thumbs up from afar thinking to himself: “ahaha i remember exactly what i was thinking there” and gives a thumbs up
but anyway. goddamn. JADE AND DAVE. what did hussie do to you.
this is a goddamn atrocity.. what the hell man. i wish we could have at LEAST seen the text file jade sent to kanaya. we got to see ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt but not daveisafunnyguy.txt?
i mean i GUESS the humor is delivered through this
and like, yeah that is pretty funny? but i feel like the single laugh this gives me is nothing compared to the joy i wouldve gotten out of seeing what dave has to say about the cloning apparatus for ants here and talking himself into circles about frog procreation enough to make not just gigglehouse jade laugh, but kanaya too
we spent so much time learning about the mechanics of the punch designix and hardly anything about creating the seed of the actual new universe. we learn about it through kanaya and karkat messaging jade, instead of dave and jade working that out through SHENANIGANS. even though this is JADE AND DAVE'S session. it’s fine that kanaya is helping them, as she should, but we’ve seen parallel pesterlog conversations before so i dont get why we didn’t get that here! jade and dave frog breeding is one of the most important events in homestuck, and yet it was terribly glossed over. everything in the story, their futures, are predicated on their success. not just in their unwinnable session, but the one they split up for 3 years and escape to.
at first i thought, maybe their lack of shown interaction has to do with hussie working out the intricacies of pesterlog/dialogue thing? as he once stated on tumblr:
shoshaumbay asked: In the intermission of act 6, it says that they get to talk. Does this mean that their guardians couldn’t talk to them before and that is why they left them notes all around their houses? The achievement badge only upgraded their ability to speak to each other as presented through the comic. I.e. it permitted them to speak to each other… WHILE WE WATCH! Do you think all the trolls were hanging out together, not talking at all? Or Dave and Jade were doing all that frog hunting without a single peep?? That’s ridiculous. On the other hand, abstraction weaves itself through the Homestuck reality, and it can be hard to pin down where abstraction is to be taken literally. The truth is, there is not much distinction between the layers of abstraction and the reality they are meant to stand for. John was both literally named on his 13th birthday, and not quite, because that’s silly. The guardians are both literally silent automatons, and not really, as there is indication through allusion they function as normal people too. And the kids went through a huge adventure, achieved immortal god status, and even then had to gain a few more levels just to gain the achievement of simple dialogue as a literal upgrade, as well as not literally, because that makes no sense. The reality is inseparable from the way the story is presented and the way the “game” is played. But those abstractions are also a facade for a more life-like reality beneath it as well.
then i realized, this is not only an arbitrary cop out that affects my enjoyment of the comic in retrospect because they wind up being able to talk later anyway and that makes me feel cheated in these moments, but also still actually awful within these parameters because hussie breaks his own rule here, proving he could have shown us dave and jade talking in person at any time regardless of needing the gift of gab achievement for us to watch them as readers. recall this is also the first time john and rose met in person (at least when rose wasn't asleep):
2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir
this is where i take out my frustration over this being delegated to a banner at the top to the point where readers forgot it occurred.
(also i want yall to take a moment to acknowledge this ^)
youtube
i wish their time on lofaf frog breeding and fighting with jack was front and center and wasnt just in the banner at the top of the page. it makes it seem not as important when it completely was, considering that characters brought up what had happened in that scene multiple times.
it is significant because it is at that point that jack noir has killed all of the kids at least once. the only one left being jade who he refuses to kill due to bec’s loyalty
THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE (foreshadowing)
jack noir killed john on his quest bed which allowed him to ascend to god tier. then he killed john AGAIN but it wasn’t a heroic or just death so john was revived
jack killed grimdark rose. john smooched rose’s corpse, allowing her to take over on derse.
jack killed dave by redirecting jade’s bullets into dave’s body instead. jade smooched dave’s corpse, allowing him to take over on derse.
after jade shoots him through jack, he’s down for the count. she kisses him and he wakes up on derse; all he and rose have left of “themselves” in an existential sense are their dreamselves. they didnt know they were going to ascend to god tier delivering the tumor. they assumed they were just going to die like for real and not come back which is why dave went with rose since he didnt want her to die alone.
it was also an important point since her time spent with dave on lofaf is the first in-person contact jade has had with another living human since she was probably 4 years old with her grandpa.
for jack noir, we got [s] seer: desend and [S] ==> (3696) which were hella impactful. seeing jade and dave essentially go through the same thing but with an extended battle sequence honestly kinda warrants a flash in my mind. (the sad thing is that unite synchronization was originally written with those pages in mind (the track was originally called redshift) but of course malcolm brown couldnt have known what was going to happen unless hussie commissioned him for a specific track for a specific story beat, probably like whatever he did to coordinate cascade’s music with toby ahead of the 10/25/11 release of the flash and publication of volume 8 on bandcamp)
i think one of the worst parts is that entire conversations were referenced, but cut or never written.
this is a real forgotten homestuck fact: jade was completely freaking out after filling dave with bullets until karkat had talked her through it. very easily forgotten since even though it being referenced twice we never actually saw the conversation. (i overrode the black scratch background so it's easier to read)
wow thats so crazy i as a member of the audience dont in fact remember! would it have killed to write it my guy
and we find out thousands of pages later dave was thinking more about how it wouldve made jade feel to watch him die than knowing he was about to fucking die. if you even care btw
i wrote more about this here
3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade
davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dates jade but breaks up because he feels inadequate at being the dave that he thinks jade deserves. NOT because they fought or anything. they were still on good terms. davesprite just felt inherently unlovable. john seemed more upset about the breakup frankly.
what davesprite did was because he thought it was in jade's best interest. there is nothing to suggest it was a fight / clash break up. they still seemed to be on good terms, davesprite asking where she went and all. jade says the breakup “is complicated” and “hes going through a lot of stuff”. given the context i think it's reasonable to assume that davesprite's thought process was: “we're coming up to the new session soon and youre going to meet up with dave again and i dont want to make shit awkward with you dating knockoff dave. you deserve to be with real dave instead so im gonna cut what we have going here in advance and distance myself from your life”
jade probably protested about saying how he's just as real as “real dave”, but davesprite made his decision already. im sure it wasnt easy for davesprite to break up either. with emotions running high (sadness, not anger) he probably just left to be alone and distance himself from jade, and seems to harbor guilt about it as we see in the log. that's probably why he wasn't at john's movie party. this is just speculation on my part but it doesnt seem in character for the breakup to be explosive because jade seemed more understanding than john. sad, but understanding.
i feel like a lot of people forget this. grimbark jade made it seem like davesprite did it to hurt her, or for this to mean that dave and jade are not actually good for each other, which is a wild mischaracterization of what happened but the one that stuck with the fandom nonetheless.
not only that, but davesprite's existence tragic and he's understandably depressed. after spending about a year in sburb (accounting for time travel) without john or jade, only to go back and give up your personhood to advance the alpha timeline and become forgotten is fucking crushing, and i think the breakup is also about davesprite coming to terms with that trauma, being okay with his existence as a sprite instead of being a bootleg stand-in for the dave that jade knew.
basically what vintagegamebro says,
it was such a tragic way for them to part for 3 years with no communication, and it was only proceeded by more tragedy because jade then had no one but davesprite to turn to, and davesprite needed anything but romance at that point
grimbark jade isn’t a good reflection of jade’s actual self. she pushed the mayor into lava for fucks sake which normal jade would never dream of doing, grimbark jade is straight up unhinged. i’m sure jade was hurt because all breakups hurt, but it was blown out of proportion (see how calm she was above a few days after the breakup?) because of Evilness. but also as @vintagegamebro mentioned it also felt somewhat … “off”? or out of left field? especially seeing what the nature of the breakup was from both sides in the above screenshots.
when dave says “theres no way i would have done that to you” i genuinely believe him. i have no reason not to believe him. look at him above asking for questions and clarification. thinking about how what davesprite did, a version of himself beyond his control and how it reflects on himself, i think it's obvious dave cares a lot about how jade feels about him
even after this confrontation in the game over timeline, dave laid down his fucking life to defend her corpse from the becs in he hope she could be revived by jane
and to think that after all this he still chose to save her, like always, probably knowing he had little to no chance, just because he cares for her, her life and who she is beyond this moment, really meant a lot for them. i really, really was mad that this would be the last time they would truly ever be together in a way that to me mattered
4. The music question
i wrote this post regarding instruments with this song in the back of my head if its anything. takes about 12 seconds to start after you press play for some reason
this too, closer to the “style”. i like imagining dave going apeshit on drums
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RAAAAHHH HELLO ITS BEEN A MINUTE!!! \OUO/
YOUR FAVORITE CLOWN IS BACK IN BUSINESS ive been quiet a while, a LOTS been going on in my personal life that brought my social medias to a complete (and unfortunate ToT) standstill til now!
i rlly wanna talk about it, its been honestly life changing and for safety i need to add some warnings:
cw for abuse both physical and emotional, and suicidal thoughts/ideation (dw im ok and not suicidal! i used to be and i finally have real context as to why)
ANYWAYS LETS TALK ABOUT IT
i got the opportunity to see a therapist for free for the first time since i was a kid and it was IMMENSELY eye opening.
SOME CONTEXT: ive lived with just my mother since i was a teenager as i tried to "make it" as an artist. ive had my ups and downs w this career goal and have been heavy in the midst of a very big Down period. entirely brought on by how sick i was at the start of the year to june (infected lymph nodes, pneumonia, 2 pounds of tumors in my uterus that required the removal of the organ entirely etc, i may have a weak immune system im realizing sdlkjd) which resulted in me having very little energy to create and/or post content. by july i needed to basically start over. which i was excited to do! i WANTED to get back to work and i was even excited for art fight! ;u;
aaaand in july is when my mom thought would be a good time to threaten to kick me out unless i found money to give her or got a "real" job. this came as an extreme and horrifying shock as i had just asked her the month before to "believe in me just a little longer" as i finally felt i realized what id been doing wrong all these years before and felt strongly i could succeed before the end of the year, she not only emphatically agreed but even said i didnt need such a time limit and she definitely didnt mind supporting me til i reached my dream lol i couldnt even do anything until july bc i was busy recovering from major surgery, coming home with tape on my stomach to heal the incision that hadnt fully closed yet
ive wanted to see a therapist for ages bc im Full O' Trauma and i knew it would help. The way this worked was basically like getting a free trial, i got six days of therapy (to be spread out as far as i liked) thru zoom.
i used the visits more for getting advice on how to reach my goals thru mental blocks and exhaustion bc ultimately i felt like 6 days wasnt enough time to get into trauma stuff and i really just wanted to get my career off the ground again, hopefully permanently.
i had vented a tiny bit about my mom and by the final visit w my therapist i decided to forgo the "how to better reach my goals" questions and ask if she had advice on how to handle someone like my mother, who i had to live with and rely on and who would often say something cruel whenever the mood struck. as i told her about my situation she stops me and asks
"do you hear yourself? bc i hear you"
and im suddenly so scared shes going to tell me the same, "get a real job" "stop acting so selfish" etc
instead she says, "this is abuse, youre literally describing an abusive relationship"
i was in complete shock
i even asked her how could i be the one being abused when i was the one using the resources and she compared it to a person getting married to someone rich and that rich person treating them like theyre worthless for not also making money.
it shook me to my core especially bc my mom loved calling me an abuser and comparing me to her abusive ex husbands (one of which used to abuse her physically, punch her/beat her etc) and saying im just like them
for the record ive never laid a hand on her, she would say these things whenever the mood struck, often out of nowhere
once bc i told her i couldnt read her mind and didnt know what she wanted lol wild
ANYWAY after this conversation i started looking back on my life and realizing why ive always felt so worthless, why i thought until my early 20's that suicide would be the best option for everyone. i was so exhausted from chasing this dream and feeling like such a worthless burden, my mother would get so angry with me for just existing and i felt like she would be so much happier if i were out of the picture, my sisters (both a decade older and living w their own families) calling me a leech and selfish for "using" our mother etc
any time i would stand up for myself, kindly and meekly as i could my mother would tell me how she wanted to punch my mouth, slap my face etc for years i thought she'd eventually fly into such a rage one day that she'd kill me and... i honestly didnt really mind the thought once while in high school my mom picked me up for lunch and offered to pay for a prom dress. i told her that it was ok, i knew she was struggling w money rn and i didnt really wanna go to prom anyway she flew into such a rage she pulled over on the highway just to pull my hair and beat me, and then dropped me back at school to finish my day lol
realizing that all of that IS NOT OK OR A NORMAL WAY TO FEEL OR BE TREATED AND I DEFINITELY DIDNT DESERVE ANY OF THAT was extremely eye opening
i told my best friends what my therapist had said and they were both like YEAH... DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU HAD AN ABUSIVE MOTHER??
apparently it was very obvious ^^; my friends were shocked to find that i thought everything was my fault, my therapist even used the term "gaslighting narcissist" to describe her which was WILDLY VALIDATING for me lmao
sitting w all these thoughts whirling around my head my mom texts me suddenly and tells me to ask my sisters for money (13 hundred dollars lol) bc she needs it for "bills"
i didnt want to do that at all she told me to "use my big words" to convince them and not to say it was her idea, but instead to act like i was asking bc i wanted to
it felt gross and made my skin crawl and honestly didnt even make sense bc WHY would i need that money so i asked but let my sisters know it was my mom asking and said she prob felt embarrassed to ask, while telling my mom that i asked in the way she wanted
my oldest sister makes good money and has helped our mom w money in the past. she texted me back asking why our mom needed money and why 1300 and i told her honestly i didnt know, i asked my mom what to say and she said to tell her she had an itemized list but she left it at work and couldnt remember what was on it lol
my sister told me to tell our mom that she couldnt help rn, so i did and my mom encouraged me to push harder to my other sister
suddenly the sister i had been talking to texts me and says that our mom left her a voicemail saying she doesnt know WHY i would ask for money, must be bc she threatened to kick me out bc i never help her with money :,( which was WILD bc any time i had money my mom would get most if not all of it, i havent been able to save money since ... ever tbqh, even when i tried my mom would successfully guilt every dollar from me letting me know i didnt deserve to save a penny after all shes done for me aaAA
ANYWAY i was so angry and hurt that my mom would just throw me under the bus i told my sister i had proof i wasnt lying (bc she was already inclined to believe our mother since they both considered me a leech to start with) and sent her screenshots of my texts
she was shocked and hurt too i decided to tell her about my therapy and how my therapist had called our mom an abuser and she answered that she understands more than ill ever know... which is very sad hjghfgf
we havent really talked more since and i deleted my texts to the other sister, more likely than not my mom sent her a similar voicemail
im very tired
i want to get out of here, im finally seeing this relationship for what its been for years and years, even back to when i was a little kid! i didnt know about suicide but id dream of being an animal in the wild bc i felt like if i were just out of the picture everyone at home would be less angry
its something that enrages me now tbqh ive tried all my life to be as little of a burden as possible and now im ready to be a problem LMAO :o)
the long and short of it is that i will be posting art sales and opening my patreon FINALLY to try and save up funds to get out of here ive also gotten a part time job on weekends for a little cushion tho some of that money will inevitably go to my mother, unfortunately
she doesnt know about the money i make online :o)
my family has constantly called me selfish, entitled and spoiled for just asking for common decency and to be treated like a person, theyve dehumanized me to the point that my greatest coping mechanism was creating a creature sona that isnt human but a monstrous equivalent lol AND I LOVE THEM IM EMBRACING CREATURE LETS FUCKIN GO
i know this has been long and if youve made it to the end i love u and im so thankful for your support!! ;u;
FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!! i want to come back full force, i havent stopped drawing at all, just havent had the energy to do much til now
my therapist even pointed out that i probably WOULDVE had at least moderate steady success by now if it werent for my mom's constant abuse
OH ALSO I NOW HAVE FOUR CATS LMAO a stray i had been giving water to and keeping safe from weather things (extreme heat, extreme cold etc) had her kittens here! and my mom gave me the ok to keep them all ;u; (and then ofc rescinded that but thats hardly a surprise now lol) and man, having kids cats sure changes your perspective on what u want and feel like you deserve! I NEED TO DO WELL BC THESE KITTIES DEPEND ON ME AND I LOVE THEM QVQ <3<3
SO YEAH IM BACK BABY IM GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HERE ASAP AND CONCENTRATING ON MY WELL BEING AND MENTAL HEALTH!! 😤🔥
#clown honks#MY SELFISH ERA BEGINS NOW BABIIIEEE <3<3#literally as i posted this my mom texted me asking for money looool i cant
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Do u have headcanons about or what do you think about a 90s or 00s AU (maybe) where Curly Shepard is a punk and Ponyboy a goth or a babybat? ^_^ Like imagine purly but ponyboy tries to show his obsession for edgar allan poe and curly or the gang JUST DON'T GET IT 😭
wym anon that literally already IS purly🙄🙄
BUT YEA I DO HAVE HCS!!!! o(^-^)o
(for context who dont know, baby at is the name for like ppl who r newly goth basically, theyre just starting out listening to music n stuff like that)
•since curly is punk here and the whole idea of punks is essentially anti establishment and love individuality i will NOT make him make fun of pony for being goth, especially when hes a babybat hes just embracing himself
•also curly is curly i feel like hes a bit morbid himself and would be at the very least interested in edgar allen poe, so even if he wasnt punk he wouldnt make fun of pony for liking him, even if he does thats just bc hes being friendly and just does NOT like poetry
•ill place this in like, late 90s and early 2000s, so there is that huge thing against goths and punks for being ‘weird’ and against god or something along those lines
•curlys pretty used to being targeted for being different for his punk style and such while pony isnt exactly used to that so i imagine that hes more protective while ponys trying to figure himself out in that regard
•some bands pony would b interested in is evanescence, the cure, and siouxsie and the banshees, london after midnight, of course there IS more but these r like more so his favs
•how pony found out about gothic bands was like, a song was playing in darrys car radio and darry didnt rlly like it so he changed it but the song was already stuck in ponys head
•he brought it up to curly but pony was just like ‘idk maybe itll pass’, it in fact DID not pass and later they was just chillin in curlys car and the song came back on the radio and pony was like ‘neuron activated’
•curly was personally not rlly into the song, but hey, ponys happy so its whatever
•personally i imagine that pony doesnt have a gothic STYLE more so he has a love for gothic songs and literature, yknow what i mean??? but maybe he does borrow some clothes from curly thats more on the gothic side or thrifts some clothes
•other than edgar allen poe, he does like phantom of the opera, frankenstein, dracula, carmilla, dr jekyll and mr hyde, also he would like ruby gloom (thank my gf for this hc)
•his art style is kinda influenced by those media actually
•as for what type of goth he is i could mostly see him being like a geek goth, but he is interested in the looks of victorian goths and gothabilly goths
IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT PONY FOR TOO LONG NOW ON ABOUT CURLY
•tbh, not much to add for this guy, punk curly is literally just regular curly but more understanding of who he is and what he wants in the world yknow??
•think of curly but actually a lil more, idk thought provoking in his own curly way with a better understanding of the world
•MAY I INSERT MY HC OF CURLY HAVIN AN AFRO MOHAWK HERE🗣️🗣️
•he is from a haitian household tho and haitian moms especially tend to be more, religious and all that jazz, so while tim and angela get their ears yelled off for well being them, its especially happening to curly bc in his moms eyes hes “turning away from god” n what not being a “vagabon” as many haitian moms would put it
•he likes customizing his own clothes, he thrifts and gets a bunch of hand me downs so might as well make them look cooler
•hes a graffiti artist and hes acc pretty well known, everyone knows its him but they dont rlly say anything cause 1) hes curly shepard but 2) his work rlly isnt that bad actually
•i could totally see him liking green day and he does NOT like fall out boy but he does like a coulle of songs from them (much to his dismay
•hes picking up guitar (how he afforded it??? i payed for it lets just say that)
WHEN IT COMES TO THE GANG, they dont rlly get pony being goth, they support him of course, but they do tend to make fun of him a bit</33 but darry, soda, and johnny do try to understand him more, its rlly just two
ps anon my gf said she loves u for ur idea (shes goth, u got the goth stamp of approval)
#curly shepard#ponyboy curtis#purly#tim shepard#angela shepard#darry curtis#darrel curtis#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#johnny cade#two bit mathews#steve randle
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