#second! fic! on AO3!!!
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some of us, and I’m not naming names, need to start being properly tagged on fics.
Angst: Is it me?
No.
Unhappy Ending: Is it me?
……it’s not Angst.
#please for the love of all tag when your fic has an unhappy ending#I also hope somebody gets this joke#if I have to read one more fic with an unhappy ending and I’m not prepared I will cry….AGAIN.#I’m a happy ending girl once again#like give me angst but give me a sliver of hope#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#ao3#robin buckley#angst#do i love angst? yes. but also need to be happy in my delulu world for five seconds#ficlet#happy endings#unhappy ending#my writing#wattpad#writing#fan fiction#fan fic writing
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sqh raising luo binghe bc the wash lady never happened bc the timeline's altered and subsequently mbj finds out or qinghua tells him (pre-established moshang) and qinghua is hmmn . freaking the fuck out bc wdym his stallion protag is a colicky newborn baby that won't go to bed unless he's rocked, swaddled, and cuddled by sqh (mobei-jun's heart shattered when baby binghe cried when sqh handed him off for a second before putting him to bed, he's still nursing his bruised ego) . this is his beloved if bloodthirsty son who is 75% cheek and 25% baby fat, it is a miracle he ever goes to his jobs when his son is so cute and tiny and why did he not write cameras into PIDW !!! no amount of portraiture would capture his sweet boy looking up at him all cute and tiny and never to be captured on camera. moshang being dads co-parenting binghe and everyone being confused bc everyone thought mobei-jun would finally marry and make qinghua consort shang but to each their own . co-parenting and then oh my god they're not even together yet are they? posing for family portraits together with romantic tension thick enough to start choking everyone out of the room. qinghua and mobei-jun looking next to dead bc binghe has never slept thru the night and sqh feels like he hasn't had a good night's rest since he transmigrated into PIDW . also maybe make it omegaverse
@coastinglove
#this is coastingloves's fault#omegaverse#specifically based off of love me dead by Cat42103 on ao3#moshang raising baby binghe worms#moshang#wormz in my brain#big ol chunky baby binghe#love moshang dads so freaking bad#mpreg#omegaverse bc i have a brand to uphold#kid fic#moshang co-parents first married couple second is very important to me#sqh cries 3 times a day bc of his son#svsss#mbj loves binghe more than life itself#mxtx#inspired by 7 million fics#luo binghe#scum villain self saving system
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give me something pretty to wear beneath my bloodstained clothes
darling, the devil knows my name 🥀🗝️🦩🗡️💃
#one piece#princess viola#violet one piece#dressrosa#riku viola#when I tell yall dressrosa is my favorite arc and it’s because viola is my second favorite op character#I’m being so fr#also complete honesty I painted this for my own fic#which is The Empty Seat on ao3#because I’ve been obsessed with her for 8 years and I finally let it out lol#I hate fanon viola sm. let her be the messy and flawed character she is#stop erasing the drama#she is a gothic heroine to me#my femme fatale attic wife my beloved queen#there’s so much hidden in this that you won’t catch unless you have my brain disease but feel free to play I spy
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Me, re-reading my own fic: “this is good shit, wish the author would finish it”
#while thinking about a second fic and a secret fifth fic while my brain plots them all at once#fanfic#ao3 writer
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Take Care: Chapter Fourteen
Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List
Warnings: swearing, eventual smut, emotional themes.
A/N: YEEE FUCKING HAW WE'RE BACK AND LONGER THAN EVER. FEAST, MY PRETTIES.
Word count: 10k+
Chapter Fourteen:
Well, Arlo. It seems the Greyhounds have actually… done something right?
I know, Chris. If you’d told me they’d be in this position, not even in the Premier League, yet through to the FA Cup final, then well! I’d have eaten my hat!
But Arlo, you don’t own any hats.
There’s lots that you don’t know about me, Chris.
Oh. Well, I’d like to find out more one day, Arlo.
Maybe one day, Chris. Maybe one day… But, moving forward– it seems AFC Richmond’s new coach, badboy Roy Kent, has well and truly shared the fabled ‘Roy Kent Effect’ once more.
That’s certainly true, Arlo! Kent and his teammates have never worked so well, even when he was on the pitch next to them. I think this is the start of a blossoming season for the Greyhounds.
I agree, Chris. So, you heard it here, folks. AFC Richmond are off to Wembley!
A few weeks after Roy’s return, you found yourself feeling the love. When you came to, you were screaming your head off. Everything was a giant blur of those familiar reds and blues, so you knew you were home. The locker room still looked the same as always, but the players within were so drastically separate from how they were a week ago that you could hardly fucking believe it.
AFC Richmond were going to Wembley for the FA Cup final. The only downside– they were against Manchester fucking City. You weren’t about to dampen their joy, though. You suspected they all knew exactly what was at stake, but they deserved this. They deserved to feel like winners.
Sam bound over to you as soon as he could. His embrace brought you back down to earth, and you hugged him back so tightly that it was a miracle neither of you passed out. “God, I am so proud of you,” you whispered into his shoulder.
He reciprocated by squeezing you once more, before you tugged apart. “You still bring us good luck. You are part of the reason we have come this far.” He spoke so earnestly that you couldn’t stop your throat from drying up.
You swallowed painfully, utterly overwhelmed. Sam went one step further, however, when he stepped onto one of the benches. “Hey, guys! Guys!” he yelled, bringing the sound in the room right down. Every player, and coach alike, turned to him and listened intently. “We wouldn’t have gotten to this position without the help of every single person in this room.” Sam looked down at you then, smiling like the golden sun. “Thank you, everyone! We’re Richmond till we die!”
The room erupted into roars that no jungle could replicate. You soaked up their cheers, their happiness, their togetherness, and as you did you sensed someone close by: Roy.
He stood in the doorway of the manager’s office, wearing a tracksuit that donned Richmond’s logo. He’d fallen into his coach position as if he’d always been here– assertively, strongly, respectfully. When you glanced around the room and saw him, you had to stop just for a moment to take him in. You smiled at him, even though he wasn’t looking at you. When he eventually caught your eye, you quickly looked beyond him, acting as if you hadn’t been eyeing him up for the better half of a minute.
Roy liked it when you looked like this– happy, content, in the middle of a bustling and buzzing room yet perfectly fine with just existing and not speaking. You were good like that, good at listening and observing. You were also good at talking when you got to it, but Roy’s initial annoyance whenever you opened your mouth had quickly disappeared after a few weeks into your placement at the club. That sentiment had only grown over the past year and a half.
Jesus– eighteen months. It’d really gone fast, hadn’t it? Eighteen months, and you’d grown into your talent and only increased your work ethic (even if you secretly hated your current position). Eighteen months, and Roy had played his last game of football ever, but coached his first professional game since.
Roy leaned on the doorframe of the manager’s office and crossed his arms. Dani had his hands wrapped around your neck lovingly from behind. The two of you swayed back and forth as the team continued rejoicing. Slowly, you latched your fingers onto Dani’s forearms and held them tightly. Roy knew what that felt like, having you close. He’d been there with you once, when it was impossible to keep your hands off each other in a crowded room like this.
There was another thing that hadn’t happened in eighteen months. You and Roy. Roy and you. In truth, you’d thought about things more than he had. This was amongst one of the first times he’d allowed himself to think of you together, properly, and what it could have been like.
He thought back to November, almost six months ago now, when he’d told you that he had no intention of fucking things up. To do that, you and Roy couldn’t happen– wouldn’t happen.
Roy frowned when he thought about how awful he’d been, not even during that conversation, but afterwards. He hadn’t put up any boundaries, had continued acting the same as he always was around you. It wasn’t kind; he knew that as soon as he’d seen your face on Boxing Day, practically scrambling to get the fuck out of his house.
The bad thing was, however, that Roy didn’t want to stop. Sure, he’d said things would never happen, and you’d graciously accepted that fate and tried to move forward over these past few months like any respectful and decent person would. But, he hadn’t. He’d said the words, but not followed them.
Roy huffed to himself, only now realising– he was a fucking idiot.
This was Roy’s more prominent disease, it seemed: delayed on-set realisation of selfishness. DOROS for short. Maybe he’d always known, but had pushed it all away in favour of keeping you close. Maybe he’d always known, but innately knew that he had never wanted to cut things off with you, so simply acted like he’d never fucking said a thing.
Mentally, Roy added a new to-do box to his list.
Fix things with you.
He would. Oh, he would.
“Roy!” Ted’s familiar accent called from behind him. Roy turned around and looked down at his fellow coach, sat before him with his feet on his desk. Beard was the same, and the two of them looked like peas in a pod. “How’re your first few weeks going?”
Roy balled his fists instinctually. “Good. I think.”
“Well, you gosh darn thunk correctly!” Ted burst, jumping out of his chair in excitement. “And now, I need your help once again. This match next week, the big one.” He stopped directly in front of Roy, chin to chin. “How do we keep the guys like this?”
This meaning the ruckus behind him. Joyful, strong, ready to fight with all they’ve got even if the outcome isn’t in their favour. Roy knew that feeling well, having felt it too many times to count.
He sighed. “It’ll be tough. Come tomorrow, they’ll all start to spiral.”
“How so?”
Roy shrugged. “It’s the hope that kills you.”
Ted’s face soured immediately. “I don’t like your sayings over here.”
“Yeah, well…” Roy turned around to look at the guys. “It’s easier than being fucking disappointed.”
“Screw that!” Ted suddenly exploded. He grabbed Roy’s shoulders and urged him to look in his eyes. “We’re stopping that today. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you look at those guys right there, acting like that?” Ted asked.
Roy swivelled his head back around to look at them. “I… I dunno?” he said.
Ted squeezed his shoulders abruptly. “Yes, you do! Say it. Say it!”
“All-fucking-right!” Roy yelled. “Her!” He pointed at you without hesitating.
As if on cue, you laughed. You scrunched your eyes shut in happiness, giggling as Dani placed his chin atop your head. He squeezed you tighter, and you giggled even harder, gripping his arms stronger than before. Sam and Colin laughed opposite them, still overcome with the buzzing adrenaline of the win. They all were. You perpetuated that feeling, made the guys want it even more so you could join them at times like this.
Ted moved next to Roy, looking at the same scene. “Well, I’ll be damned,” Ted whispered. “You’ve never been more right in your life.”
You had to suck in a deep breath as your laughter dissipated. Your lungs were empty of all reserves, but you’d never felt better about it. Dani gently removed himself from you to head towards Richard and Zoreaux. As he did, the most unexpected thing happened.
Someone tapped you on the shoulder, and when you turned to greet them with a glowing smile, you stopped short. Jamie Tartt stood before you. “Hey,” he said.
You kept things light as you perked your brow at him quizzically. “Hi.” You smiled. “Congratulations.”
Jamie laughed awkwardly, bringing a hand to the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah. Thanks very much.” You’d never tire of his accent, secretly. You were fond of Mancunian. “Listen, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Your eyes widened in surprise. “Oh– sure.”
“Privately,” he added.
You glanced around the locker room quickly, before nodding once. Jamie led you out to the corridor and beyond. He opened the door to the kit room and held it for you as you entered, then followed you inside and shut the door behind him.
You didn’t know where to place yourself. Stood in the centre of the room, overwhelmed by the scent of soggy feet, you turned to the striker and waited. Jamie stood opposite you with the same feeling of being utterly out of place.
“What can I do for you, Jamie?” you started, getting the ball rolling.
“I know we’re not really… er, close.” He clutched his hands together awkwardly, almost unable to meet your eye. “But I know how much you mean to the club and that.”
You huffed amusedly. “Sure,” you agreed.
“Which is why I know you won’t laugh at me when I ask you this.” Tartt finally met your eye, and you were taken aback. Whatever was on his mind you now knew was a big deal. I mean, it had to be for him to approach you like this, surely?
“Okay,” you said sturdily. “Lay it on me.”
“It’s Roy.” You held your breath as he said it. Never in your wildest dreams did you think that Jamie would come to you about a Roy problem, yet here he was. “He won’t coach me. Not like the others, you know. I know I was a dick in the past, for lack of a better word, and that Roy was on the receiving end sometimes–”
“All the time,” you said, matter of factly. Jamie subtly exploded.
“Okay, fine– all the fucking time– but I’m back now, and I need a fucking coach. I want him to teach me the same way he teaches Sam and Isaac and the rest.”
“But, you don’t know how to ask him,” you said your thoughts out loud.
Jamie nodded quickly, agreeing with you tenfold. “I know he’d tell me to fuck off.”
“Well, of course he’s going to do that.” You almost chuckled from how right he was in saying so. “But, I see where you’re coming from.” Your mind spiralled down different routes, unknowing of where you came into this equation. You could tell Jamie what to say, but you knew what Roy would reply simply because it was Tartt, not you. “Why come to me, though?”
Jamie’s face squished questioningly, like he couldn’t understand why you hadn’t put two and two together just yet. “Roy fucking listens to you.”
You couldn’t help but laugh now. “Oh, please. Yeah, he listens. But whether or not he decides to do what I say is a completely different ball game.”
Jamie reached out to you suddenly and gripped your shoulders in desperation. “Please. I know I’m making up for lost time and bad behaviour and whatever else I did to the guys, or Lasso, or Roy, but I need to be useful here. I want to be useful here.”
You regarded him thoughtfully then. It was hard not to take him into account when he was like this, bearing his soul to a person who had never connected with him beforehand. Reaching out to you was a shot in the dark for him, but he’d done it anyway because he wanted to succeed. It was commendable, when you put it all into perspective.
You decided upon a middle ground. “I’ll plant the seed in his head to let you in, alright?”
Jamie let out a clear sigh of relief when you agreed. “Well, fuck– thank you.”
“But!” you continued. “You need to go to him yourself. You need to apologise, and tell him exactly what you said to me. It’s Roy, so he’ll make it a fucking nightmare and will probably be childish and petty and whatever fucking else that grown man is capable of…” As you rambled, the cogs in Jamie’s brain finally understood the whole story– you liked him, didn’t you? “...but he’ll do it eventually. He has to. He’s a coach now, and if you’re here, you deserve to be coached properly.”
Jamie squealed and smiled at the same time, his eyes ablaze with boyish resemblance. He squeezed your shoulders affectionately. “I knew coming to you would work out. I just knew it.”
You scoffed in amusement. “Don’t make it a regular thing,” you joked. “There are only so many strings I can pull with Roy.”
Jamie raised his brows assumptively. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“What do you mean by that?” All your amusement reluctantly trailed off alongside your words.
“Well,” Jamie started. His grin dropped instantly. “I mean– don’t make me fucking say it. You already know, don’t you?”
“Know what?” you pressed.
“That Roy, y’know. That Roy–” Jamie flailed his arms around like a flapping seagull. “He– y’know…”
You squinted at him. “Are you speaking some kind of secret footballer language that common people like me don’t fucking understand?”
“He likes you!” Jamie finally let out.
“Oh.” You stepped back. Jamie’s arms dropped to his sides. “Stop fucking talking now.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t see it?” Jamie looked you dead in the eye, but all you were capable of doing was looking away from embarrassment. “Well, you’re more stupid than I fucking took you for.”
“Hey!” you exclaimed. “There’s no need for that shit when I’m digging you out of the mess you fucking made last season.”
He raised his arms up in understanding. “Alright, alright. Sorry, my bad.” You let out your own sigh of relief when you realised the conversation was over.
You and Jamie headed back to the locker room soon after. As he made his way towards the guys, you stuck to the outer limits of the cinder block walls. Roy was still in the manager's office, his back turned as he spoke to Ted and Beard. You didn’t want to intrude, so you made the decision to cut back into the corridor once more; not to leave, but to wait until the guys were ready for a pint.
You slowly trudged down the familiar corridor that you used to traverse every fucking day. Past the locker room, you approached the gym. Beyond that, your old office still sat. Keeley had recently upgraded to a larger room deeper underneath the Dogtrack, however, so the usual array of pink pillows and her cheetah statue were nowhere to be seen.
You entered through the half open door and walked straight into darkness. The walls were the same, just pinker. The desk was the same, just empty. Whenever you visited this office space after time away you felt the same pull to return. You didn’t care if it had no windows; you’d managed to make it home for nearly a year without any hiccups.
God, you wanted to be back here. Everyone knew it, even Rebecca, but you daren’t take favours. You would never.
A small knock sounded from the door, and you turned back quickly. “Ready to g–? Oh!” you exclaimed. You’d been expecting Sam or Roy, but were met with the still slightly unfamiliar face of Nate. “Sorry, Nate. I thought you were someone else.”
“That’s alright,” he said, smiling. “May I come in?”
“Oh,” you spluttered. “Yes, of course. This isn’t my office anymore.”
He stepped inside. “No, no, it’s not, is it?” he said, and the tone of his voice was erring on patronising. You opted to ignore it, knowing that he wouldn’t have meant it that way. Surely?
The silent pause that flittered between you was very awkward, there was no denying it. It wasn’t that you’d meant to not really know him, but your circle at the club had seemed to travel in one certain direction that you hadn’t been able to control. The guys, Ted, Roy, Rebecca. Not Beard, not Nate. You didn’t mean anything by it innately.
If anything, you were happy that Nate was making himself known to you. You’d love to get to know him more– or more than what you barely knew of him from your time at the club.
“What a great game today, wasn’t it?” you started.
“Oh yes, fantastic game,” said Nate.
“And that thing–” You mimed what had happened on the pitch earlier, which happened to be a middle finger of all things. “That all four of you did to Jamie. Classic, really fucking brilliant.”
“Oh yes, the good old middle finger.” Nate copied you in miming what he’d done less than an hour ago. All four coaches had signalled to Tartt what needed to be done, and that signal happened to be swearing at him full-frontally. Four middle fingers had stood up on end, and Tottenham didn’t know what had hit them when Tartt managed to make a goal from just beyond the halfway line.
“You were all absolutely brilliant!” you exclaimed. “I’ve been seeing you in the paper as well, you know? The whole Wonderkid thing.”
Nate smiled forcefully. “I definitely said Wunderkind.”
“Either way, it’s fantastic you’re getting that recognition.”
“Thank you, thank you,” Nate said, taking your compliment graciously; or so you thought. “So, here’s the thing.” He plunged right into his words like he’d had them on standby the entire time.
“Go on,” you urged him happily.
“You can’t come to Wembley.”
“What?” you asked, not fully absorbing his words.
Nate stopped smiling. He looked at you sternly, or like you were akin to dirt on his shoe, or whatever else. Your smile turned to a frown instantly.
“You can’t come to Wembley,” Nate repeated.
Those five words hit you like a tonne of bricks. You didn’t understand what he was saying, or what he meant. For a second, you thought he’d got his words mixed up, maybe, but even if they were un-muddled they wouldn’t make sense at all.
“I don’t understand what you mean,” you said smally, feeling multiple degrees of hurt even though you had no explanation.
“Okay,” Nate replied. “I’ll spell it out for you.” He raised his chin and sucked in a deep and confident breath, “You cannot come to Wembley for the FA Cup final.”
You still didn’t understand, but you understood Nate’s words fully. Why he was saying them, though, you had no idea. Perhaps you hadn’t misinterpreted his patronising tone upon entering the room, but had picked it up perfectly. You didn’t know Nate enough to get mad– properly mad– but your blood boiled as you looked at him.
“Why not?” you asked, swallowing sullenly to try and keep the butterflies in your gut at bay.
Nate smiled. You hated that he smiled. It felt grimy and wrong. “Roy, Ted and Beard seem to think that you keep the team happy, and maybe you do. But, this is the fucking FA Cup final. They can’t afford any distractions, and you.” He looked you up and down like a blight. You’d never been looked at like that before in your life. “You are a distraction. You may think you’re helping, but the guys need clear minds and ready heads. You’re a distraction towards all of that.”
You laughed abruptly, at a loss for words. Nate’s smile turned to something much more condescending. Gently, he reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder. You froze on the spot.
“It’s just better if you sit this one out, alright? Don’t worry, the guys won’t miss you too much.”
You opened your mouth as if to speak, but all that came out was air. Your lungs collapsed beneath your chest, your heart pumped blood uncomfortably and incredibly fast into your limbs, your organs, your gut. It hurt. It really hurt.
Nate squeezed your shoulder. You stiffened further. “Good talk. Let’s catch up after the final.” He removed his hand from you and left promptly, leaving you in the darkned seclusion of your old office.
Realisation hit you like a double-decker bus. Nate had always been like this a bit, hadn’t he? Not before he became a coach, but afterwards, certainly. A shift had cemented within him as soon as he’d donned the Richmond jacket and owned a desk spot next to Ted and Beard. The whistle around his neck clung to him like a trophy of his authority.
Nathan Shelley was not a nice coach. Good, smart, intelligent, but not nice.
You wondered if Ted knew. You wondered if Beard knew. You wondered if Roy knew. If they did, you knew they’d do something about it, so perhaps not. Innately, despite the weak way your chest scraped air through your crippled lungs, you hoped it was just you that he had gripes with. You hoped he wasn’t like this to any of the guys themselves. Just the thought alone made you angry beyond belief.
No one on the team deserved to be treated the way that Nate had just treated you.
You sucked in a sharp breath quickly, feeling the beginnings and endings of tears behind your eyes. You wouldn’t cry, not for this. If you twisted this entire ordeal on its head then it was borderline comical. Not to toot your own horn, but you knew that if any of the guys in the locker room next door found out about this, then they’d take your side.
That was exactly why you couldn’t tell them. You weren’t about to be the reason that AFC Richmond’s managerial team broke apart. They’d come so far already after relegation. You couldn’t– wouldn’t– fuck that all up.
Quietly, you swallowed away your pride and your feelings and left your old office. Silently, you headed back to the locker room and entered timidly.
“There she is,” Roy muttered to Sam as you entered. As you approached him, you realised he’d picked up your bag and slung it over his shoulder to save you holding it yourself. “Ready to go?” he asked, face to face.
Your eyes hit his. You struggled to keep everything at bay, but brushed it off as best as you possibly could. “Yeah,” you breathed. “Here.” You gestured to your bag on his shoulder, but Roy twisted himself away from you.
“I’ve got it.” Roy frowned slowly, a sour feeling sprouted in his gut. “You alright?”
You waved him off. “I’m fine. I just don’t feel all that good, if I’m being honest.”
“Hm.” He reached out confidently and laid his knuckles against your forehead. Roy had done this to you many times. You were used to it, but still allowed yourself to silently indulge in his touch. Besides, you needed this. He didn’t know, but you needed him right now. “You do feel a bit hot, actually,” he said lowly. “Wanna skip the pub and go home?”
Gently, you nodded. Roy’s hand dropped to your shoulder, the same one that Nate had held just minutes before. Quickly, you placed your hand over his. “Yes, please.”
Roy stayed still. Something was wrong, he knew it. There was this look in your eye that coincided with you not feeling well, but that wasn’t all. The way you were standing; slumped, arms wrapped around yourself, as if you were desperately trying to make yourself smaller, invisible. The hand that rested atop his own didn’t feel strong. This wasn’t you, the real you.
Roy nodded at you in understanding. “Okay,” he whispered. Roy turned to the rest of the room and addressed the team. “You’ll have to catch us next week for drinks, boys.”
The collective groan that descended across the room made you feel awful, but there was nothing you could do about it.
Roy sensed your unease. “Hey!” he yelled. “That’s fucking enough of that. Get some sleep after your well-deserved booze break, and I’ll see you all bright and early for practice on Monday!”
“Yes, coach!”
You and Roy drove home in silence. Not the uncomfortable kind, but Roy could tell something was on your mind. It was rare that either of you evaded the weird sixth sense you had about the other now. Roy could read you as clear as he’d read your article about him.
He stopped his Jeep outside your apartment building and killed the engine. You gathered your belongings and shot him a quick smile. “Thanks.” You went to leave.
“Wait.” In one click, Roy had locked your door from the driver’s side door. “Tell me what’s wrong or I’m not letting you out.”
You huffed, slumping back into your chair in acceptance. “Really?”
“Really,” Roy repeated.
“This is childish, Roy.”
“I don’t fucking care. One moment you were happy as a daisy, and the next you look like you’ve landed on death’s fucking door.”
You sighed in exasperation. “Oh, for fucks sake.”
Roy twisted himself to face you more head on. He crossed his arms and waited patiently. “Go on.”
You rolled your eyes, wishing this to be over. “I’m on my period.”
Roy pointed at you quickly. “Don’t try and catch me out with a feminine problem that you assume men don’t want to hear about. I have a fucking sister, and I know all about how crazy her cycle made her. This isn’t that.”
“Fuck!” you exclaimed, raising your voice slightly. Your stress levels had grown exponentionally in the last minute and a half. You could feel your rapid heartbeat beneath your chest. “It doesn’t fucking matter, alright. If I wanted to talk about it then I would have told you by now.”
Roy perked his brow at you. “Is this about something football related, or something life related?”
“God!” you exploded finally. You wouldn’t mention Nate, but Roy’s incessant poking meant you had to say something real. Maybe this really was something you should have told him a while ago. “You really wanna know?” You turned towards him, eyes crazy and breathing erratic. “I hate my fucking job, okay. And everytime I go to the stadium for a game I’m reminded of everything I left behind and everything I continue to leave behind. The guys, Ted, Beard, you.”
For the first tme since the car stopped, Roy shut his mouth and listened.
“I– I wonder how much longer I can fucking do it. The commute every morning, the staleness of my work colleagues, the giant stack of papers and assignments that are always waiting on my desk to get done because no one else will fucking touch them. I don’t sleep at night properly, and I can’t even cook meals anymore. I feel like–” You sucked in a deep breath and finally looked Roy in the eye. “I feel like, even despite all of you including me in everything, I’m running on the spot behind you and will never be able to catch up. Like I’ll never be part of that world anymore. And it’s, it’s– breaking me.”
Roy leant towards you instinctually.
“Rebecca and Keeley know I hate it, but every time Rebecca talks about getting me a position at the club I freeze. It makes me feel sick that she’d so easily and without question hand me something because I don’t feel like I deserve it. And–!” Roy flicked his eyes over your face, at a loss of what to say. You laughed from a lack of what else to fucking do. “The game last weekend, when you showed up and finally realised your worth as a coach, I almost missed it because I couldn’t take being back there without thinking how much I fucking miss it all. I’m pathetic–”
“No, you’re not,” Roy interjected hoarsely.
You laughed again, on the brink of tears. “Yes, I am. Who does that? Who cries before a fucking game because they can’t handle being there? Me. I do that now, apparently.”
Silence descended inside the Jeep. You finally took a breath, and when you did you realised what you’d done. You leaned back in your seat and faced the windshield, utterly embarrassed that you’d burst at the seams.
“So,” you said smally. “That’s that.” You turned towards Roy again. “Is that what you wanted me to say?”
Roy stayed as quiet as a mouse. That wasn’t his style. Glued to his spot, Roy kept his gaze on you thoughtfully. He regarded the look on your face and noticed the subtle embarrassment on your brow; you hadn’t expected to cave so easily when questioned about what was wrong.
He looked down at your hands in your lap. Your fingers shook subtly as they brushed across your knuckles in worry. Roy hated that you were worrying after being honest about something in your life. It was only him, he thought. Surely you should know that you could tell him anything and he’d listen.
“Sorry,” you blurted out.
Roy huffed, speechless. “What the fuck are you sorry for?”
“I don’t know.”
“Fucking–” Roy moved closer to you. “Come here.”
His arms were around you in no time. You stayed stuck in place, stunned, for just a second, until you found yourself hugging him back so fiercely that you couldn’t have thougth of anything you needed more. It was funny. You could count on one hand how many times you and Roy had hugged, and none of them had been like this.
You’d been close before, sure, in proximity and in more. You were close even now, despite counting the conversation you’d both had in November. Everyone on the outside seemed to think of Roy as someone who wasn’t hands-on. He liked his space, he didn’t like to pry or poke, yet here you were– the air being squeezed from your lungs because he’d made you open up for your own good– because he couldn’t think of anything better to show that he cared than to embrace you.
Roy Kent cared so much that it was a wonder he had energy to do anything else.
When the two of you parted, you couldn’t help but laugh. You stayed close, foreheads almost touching. Roy smiled at you genuinely, fully, thoughtfully.
“No wonder you’re going mental,” he said lowly. “That’s a lot to hold onto without letting it out.”
That’s not even the half of it. You wanted to say, but you didn’t.
“You’re not running in place behind us,” Roy continued. “You’re what keeps us all together. You’re the reason I went back to Richmond.” You didn’t say anything, just took in his words. “I didn’t go back just for the game, or the guys– I went back because I knew you’d be in the box, looking down at me on the pitch again.”
Your throat closed slightly, as the urge to cry hit you. You swallowed it away, not wanting to burst again in such a short amount of time. “Well,” you whispered. “I’m glad.”
For a fraction of a second, Roy’s eyes dropped to your lips.
You’d been here before, you thought. You’d been here with him like this so many times that you couldn’t even count them off the top of your head. If you had time, a few minutes maybe, you’d be able to pinpoint every occasion where the word almost screeched within your mind.
Almost there. Almost on you.
Perhaps you’d never get beyond the proverbial almost, but this time felt different. Something had shifted recently. You felt it. Roy’s stares lingered for just a tad too long. Electricity buzzed between you even when you weren’t touching. The joy you’d felt when he’d arrived at the Dogtrack and finally caved in had been second to none. In hindsight, maybe jumping the wall of the home box and running down the steps in the stands to him had been too much.
Roy didn’t think so. He’d relished you being close. His stomach had somersaulted as soon as you’d yelled his name. Secretly, he’d hoped you’d react the exact way you did. He’d done it for you, had he not? He’d come back to Richmond for you.
Without realising, you and Roy had inched closer to each other so much that you both hovered over the centre console of his Jeep. Foreheads almost touching. Hearts almost caving.
You’d been here before so many times.
Roy swallowed without moving a muscle, ready to speak. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Instantly, you crashed back down to earth. You sucked in a deep breath and straightened yourself, leaning back towards the passenger side window. You thought the worst. Was this an ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this’? It had to be, surely.
“Oh,” you let out, flustered. “Don’t apologise, don’t wo–”
“No,” Roy cut you off strongly, unexpectedly leaning closer. “I’m sorry for being a fucking idiot.”
Time stilled. That word– that almost– lingered in the air like dust in the desert. Heavy, dry, suffocatingly warm.
Roy’s expression grew to frustration as quickly as you’d both fallen to silence. “I thought I was doing the right fucking thing, stopping–” He gestured between you both, not able to find words. “I thought it would be better for you, to not get you mixed up in all my shit.”
The penny dropped. You squished your face into a hurt smile involuntarily. “It’s okay, Roy,” you said softly.
“And worse yet,” he continued. “I’ve been a… a fucking arse. Not changing how I acted around you, or what I said, or what I did. I must have made everything ten times fucking worse for you.”
You shook your head immediately. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” Roy replied instantly. “It does matter. I never wanted to play with your fucking feelings or make what I did more difficult for you, but that’s exactly what I did.”
“It’s okay,” you said. “It’s okay,” you repeated, just for good measure.
Roy fell silent for a pause, taking in your words as if he really needed to hear them. In fact, you thought he really did need to hear them, straight from your mouth and no one elses.
“You’re sure?” he asked, checked, wanted to make extra fucking sure.
You nodded quickly. “I’m sure.” You smiled, trying desperately not to let the cropped up hurt on your face show through. That wasn’t on him; he hadn’t intended to damage you this way.
“Okay.” Roy breathed out deeply, leaning back into the driver’s seat like the weight of the world had just been taken off his shoulders. “Thank fuck,” he whispered, before meeting your eye again. He smiled, accepting the silliness that one felt after being so vulnerable with someone else. “I really fucking need you, you know?”
You laughed first, wanting to say so do I. Instead, you differed your response. “Of course, you fucking do. Who else is going to tell you what to do with your life?”
Roy’s smile lit up all over his face. You remembered a time where you used to count how many times he looked at you like this; honest. Now, it was everyday.
“Exactly,” he said. Gently, he stuck his hand out and laid it upon your cheek. “Fucking exactly.” His thumb swiped across your face warmly. You shivered immensely, but tried desperately to hide it.
You glanced at the radio clock. Time ticked by, and you knew you had to leave this conversation soon. Innately, Roy knew it, too.
“My mum’s coming to Richmond tomorrow morning,” you said softly. Roy’s hand stayed put. You didn’t mind. “I need to go and clean my flat, or she’ll start washing up mugs against my will.”
Roy’s eyes flicked between your own. Affection seeped from within them, so far removed from when you’d first met. Slowly, he removed his hand from your cheek. His fingers skimmed your skin on the way back to his lap. “Okay,” he whispered; acceptance.
Almost would stay the same. Almost had gone the furthest it had ever been.
You slung your bag over your shoulder. Roy unlocked the passenger side door with one button click. You gripped the handle strongly, but paused before you left for good.
“Thank you for listening to me,” you said simply. “I mean– really listening to me.”
Roy stayed still, not leaving your gaze for a second. “Always,” he said lowly.
When the door to your building shut behind you, Roy was still reluctant to drive away. He watched as the light turned on from the window of your ground floor flat, saw your silhouette enter the living room– the room where he’d stood before a few times– and drop your bag to the floor in exhaustion.
Roy drove away when your silhouette disappeared, the feeling of you still present on his fingertips.
You didn’t tell anyone about Nate. You didn’t tell anyone that he’d warded you off or spoke ill of you supporting the team. Instead, you went to work. You encompassed yourself in your job, taking on extra responsibilities despite that being the one reason you felt spread thin.
By Thursday, you were ready to crash. Your bed had been calling you every day, as soon as you disembarked from the train at Richmond tube station. Intentionally, you ignored texts from Rebecca and Keeley about times to rendezvous at Wembley Stadium. If they ever asked, you’d blame it on having too much of a heavy work week. That would be your out.
Logically, you knew you wouldn’t be able to completely miss Richmond playing at Wembley. People would be expecting you there. The guys would be expecting you there. But, despite their cries and pleads for you to be present, you were prepared to keep them at arms length– for Nate’s sake.
When Saturday came, you knew it would be hard for you to avoid everyone at the club. By ten o’clock in the morning, Keeley had already called you twice. By half past the hour, Rebecca had called you three times.
On the fourth time she rang, you knew you had to pick up.
“Darling,” she said quickly. “What the fuck?”
“I’m sorry,” you said (you lied), secluded in your flat. “This week has been insane. I haven’t been able to focus on anything that isn’t Pluto Press related.”
Rebecca made a guttural sound in her throat. “Bollocks!” she exclaimed. “I’ll send a car. It can be there in twenty minutes if need be.”
“It’s okay. I can get the tube. Don’t worry–”
“Oh,” Rebecca cut you off. Her tone switched instantly. “Actually, don’t worry about a car. I think someone is waiting for you out front.”
As if on cue, the horn from Roy’s Jeep sounded from your living room window.
Quickly, you ran to the window. Between your sheer curtains, Roy’s obsidian black Jeep was stationed on the road by your front door. You couldn’t curse on your call with Rebecca, but by God– you wanted to.
“Is that the cavalry coming for me?” you said down the phone, peeved.
“Yes, it is,” Rebecca said smugly. “See you in an hour, darling.” She hung up the phone fast, so quick that you couldn’t give any excuse to get out of this match.
Quickly, you gathered a bag of belongings and left your flat. Reluctantly, you descended the steps of your building and pulled the handle of the passenger side door of Roy’s Jeep. You settled quickly, without fuss, but words dangled in the air as soon as silence descended within the car.
“Ready to go?” Roy said from the driver’s seat.
“Yeah,” you breathed out. Roy didn’t push you, but he did push upon the accelerator and toward Wembley Stadium.
Roy parked in the car park beneath the stadium, only for players or coaches, and killed the engine.
You grabbed your bag quickly and left his Jeep, knowing what happens when you’re trapped inside with nowhere to go. The two of you made your way through the back entrance of the stadium. It was a miracle that Roy hadn’t asked what was wrong– you were being quiet and subdued, that was enough of a trigger for him to know something was up.
You wondered if Nate had eyes on you. You wondered if he was watching you traverse the inner sections of Wembley, if he saw you freak out when going past the locker room, if he saw you retreat into yourself past the press rooms.
Roy didn’t wonder. He kept his eyes on you through it all.
Silence hung in the air uncomfortably as you passed office after office. These were the inner workings of a stadium; a world that you knew well, but nothing like that of the Dogtrack.
You finally broke the air. “I should really get to Rebecca and Keeley,” you said.
“And you will,” Roy said. “There’s just one stop we have to take first.”
Your heart stilled as soon as he turned to the right, entering into the final office on the long corridor you’d traversed. You were hit with the nervous gazes of Ted and Beard immediately, but you didn’t care for the way their expressions faltered softly—
You cared for the way Nate’s eyes bored into you with no remorse. At the back of the room, he glared at you ten times worse than he’d done the week before at the Dogtrack.
“Writer!” Ted exclaimed, filling the tension in the air with his enthusiasm. “Oh, thank God,” he added in a whisper.
“Hi,” you said smally, accepting a hug from him suddenly.
You hated this. As you removed yourself from Ted’s grasp, you could feel the steely eyes of one Nathan Shelley staring you down, like a child did to an ant before he crushed it with his shoe.
After you left Ted’s embrace, you stepped back so quickly that you almost tripped over Roy’s feet. He steadied you instantly, keeping his hand at your lower back.
“Well, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Ted said, gaining some colour back on his face.
You laughed nervously. “I should really go and find Rebecca and Keeley. I shouldn’t be here.”
“Poppycock!” Ted exclaimed. “You’re exactly what we needed. The guys are in the locker room just down there, why don’t you go and say—,”
“No!” you burst suddenly.
The room went quiet instantly. Beard looked at Ted quizzically. You could feel Roy’s stare on the back of your neck.
“They need to focus,” you stuttered. “I should just go and find my seat.”
Nate stepped forward a few paces, coming between Ted and Beard silently. “I think that’s a good idea. Let her go and find her girlfriends.”
You hated the way words fell from his mouth. You knew he had you exactly where he wanted you— uncomfortable, vulnerable, everything in between— but you were in no situation to open this can of worms with Ted, Beard and Roy.
You gripped your bag on your arm tightly and turned to Roy. “I’ll see you on the pitch,” you said timidly. Quickly, and without thinking, you pressed a chaste kiss on Roy’s cheek, and left promptly.
You had no idea where you were going, but knew that you couldn’t stop as you made your way down the inner corridors of Wembley.
All you knew was that you needed to be where Nate Shelley was not, as soon as humanly possible.
“Have a glass of wine,” Rebecca said sternly from the internal bar by the VIPs box.
“I’m okay,” you said, keeping yourself contained.
Her smile turned to a frown. Oh, she knew you far too well for you to get out of this one.
“Take the fucking wine glass, darling.”
“Okay.” You took the glass of wine instantly and downed one, two, three gulps. You breathed out. “Oh, that’s better.”
“Mhm,” she hummed, satisfied.
“Sorry,” you said between gulps and sips. “It’s just been a long week.”
“I can see that,” she said, looking you up and down. “Are you sure that’s all it is? Your job?”
Shit. She knew something else was up. They all fucking did, and it drove you insane. Innately, you cursed yourself out for being so well-known, so well-loved. You were surrounded by the people who knew you most in this world, but also by the people that didn’t want you around. It was a double-edged sword of inescapable proportions, and you were tired.
“That’s all it is,” you said, trying to adopt as much sincerity as you possibly could.
Rebecca’s frown stayed put as her eyes roamed your face. Gently, she reached out her hand and ran her expensively manicured nails through your hair softly.
“You’d let us know, wouldn’t you?” she said, and you froze with your wine glass to your lips. “You’d let us know if it was something else, too?”
Keeley shoved a mini sausage roll in her mouth and approached you both quickly. “It’s Roy, isn’t it.”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s not Roy,” you groaned.
“Then what is it!” Keeley exclaimed, launching pastry crumbs across the bar.
Before you could respond, applause broke out from the crowd immensely. You gulped down the rest of your wine quickly and dropped the empty glass on a side table by the door to the stands.
“That’s kick off,” you said, already on your way to take a seat.
The conversation went unfinished, as Rebecca and Keeley followed you out of the door towards the pitch. They didn’t attempt to pry during the game, too caught up in the song and dance of yelling chants for Richmond, of being present, of supporting.
You knew you’d dodged a bullet, as you screamed your lungs out from the stands. But, you knew your silence was on a time limit. If anyone would get something out of you, it was Rebecca and Keeley.
And you knew it would only be a matter of time before they broke your silence (for the better).
When the full-time whistle blew, you felt helpless. You could only imagine how the guys were feeling, knowing that they’d lost so spectacularly against none other than Manchester City.
The person who your heart went out to the most, however, was not normal. It wasn’t Roy, it wasn’t Ted, it wasn’t even Sam or Isaac or Colin— it was Jamie Tartt.
You knew he’d be hurting the most from this immense defeat. His old team, his past life, and at Wembley fucking stadium no less. He’d be in bits.
“Well,” Rebecca said, standing up and wrapping her scarf around her neck. “That’s that, then.”
“The guys will be crushed,” Keeley said sadly.
“Jamie will be crushed.” The pair of them looked at you as you spoke. Their sombre faces were enough for you to know that they agreed wholeheartedly.
“Come on.” Rebecca passed you and stepped out of the stands. “Let’s go and commiserate with them.”
You tensed instantly, watching silently as Keeley stood up and followed Rebecca. The two of them waited for you at the end of the row.
“I should really head home,” you said finally, trying to keep your expression neutral.
“What?” Keeley.
“Why on Earth do you need to leave now?” Rebecca.
“It’s just— I don’t want to crowd them, you know?” The pitch of your voice had risen. You sounded like a mouse, a lying, cheating mouse.
The two of them stared at you like you were mental. Neither said anything, their expressions spoke a thousand words for them— what the hell is up with you?
You faltered first. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Oh no, we absolutely will look at you like this,” Rebecca said threateningly. “What’s got your knickers in a twist? You look like a labrador that’s shit all over the carpet!”
“I really hope you haven’t shat on someone’s carpet, but if you have, you can tell us.” Keeley leaned down and laid a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“I haven’t shat on a fucking carpet!”
“Then come on!” Rebecca exclaimed. “Your team needs you.” Her words stung you internally. “They need you.”
Rebecca’s commanding nature jumped out tenfold. You were stuck at an impasse, between a rock and a hard place, whatever other metaphor you could use for being trapped. One side of your brain projected a sad picture of the guys in the locker room, begging for a friendly face to come and lift them up; and the other— Nate was glaring at you like you’d just done something terribly wrong.
God, you hated this. No one knew the way he’d talked to you, or what he’d said. And the worst part was that you couldn’t tell them— wouldn’t— from how much drama it would create.
Football was supposed to be your safe space. Watching matches with your girls, cheering or crying in the locker room with the guys, urging Ted, Beard and Roy on whenever you could.
Nate had taken that all away after one simple conversation.
You didn’t know how to tell them no. If it was up to you, you would have sprung out of your seat and ran down to the locker rooms without any hesitation.
But, it wasn’t up to you. Nate’s words rattled around your mind like beads in a maraca.
Rebecca sucked in a deep breath. She leant down and grabbed your hand swiftly, warmly. “We’re here with you. Whatever you need, we’re always here. But, those boys need us the most right now. You know them better than I do—,”
“And me! You know them better than me, too!” Keeley joined in supportively.
“They don’t want us without you, and that’s a fact.”
You let out a shaking breath, then nodded quickly. Nate would have to move to the fucking side.
“Okay.” You nodded again, strongly. “Okay— let’s go see our boys.” You stood up quickly, not letting go of Rebecca’s hand.
“Your boys,” Rebecca said sternly. “They’re all yours.”
Navigating the lower levels of Wembley was nerve wracking, you couldn’t lie. Scenarios raced through your head of things going terribly wrong; Nate stopping you in the corridor; Nate forbidding you from entering the locker room; Nate this, Nate that.
Fuck this shit.
Rebecca was right. They were your boys, your team. You knew them on levels that didn’t revolve around football, you knew them as people. And by God, they needed that. This time, they needed someone to make them feel something other than defeated.
The corridors were clear when the three of you turned the corner to the locker rooms. Only a security guard stood at the door of Richmond, and he very easily let you all in when you approached.
You held your breath when you finally entered. The guys sat in their respective cubby holes sullenly, elbows on knees, heads in their hands.
You’d seen this before at Roy’s last game. Silence even deeper than when you both sat in the Dogtrack locker room alone littered the air at Wembley. You could only imagine what the guys were feeling, like history was repeating itself on so many levels for the team.
You caught eyes with Jamie first. He looked broken.
Rebecca and Keeley headed towards the coaches, but you felt stuck in place by the door, frozen by the sad atmosphere in the room.
Roy saw you before you saw him. He strolled over slowly and reached out to grab your forearm. “Hey,” he said softly.
You flashed back to reality and gazed up at him. “Hey.” Quickly, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders tightly. He clutched you back strongly, and you knew that he’d been needing a hug with the same fervour as yours.
You didn’t need to say you were sorry. He’d probably heard it enough already. He knew you felt the sting of a loss this big just as much as he did.
When you went to pull away, he squeezed you tighter. Evidently, he wasn’t done just yet.
“Well, guys,” Ted said to the room. Roy finally tugged away, but he kept a firm grasp around your waist as the two of you turned to listen to Ted’s address. “We lost. You don’t need me or anyone else to say it, because the look on your faces says it all.” Ted’s southern drawl felt like therapy. Within seconds, the team felt acknowledged, and that was all that mattered. “We all knew this was going to be tough, and for just a moment I want you all to forget the score, forget the goals and whatever else, and just think of how you all played like a proper team.”
Ted had a way with words that you knew was the main reason his career was so vast. You didn’t know a thing about American football, but you knew that Ted was a stellar coach whether it was football or soccer in his eyes.
“You played as a team today,” Ted continued. “And sure, you’re allowed to be sad about the outcome, I’m not about to tell you you can’t feel that sting, but—.” Roy squeezed your waist. You wondered if he was doing it subconsciously. “But you all need to know that you were a unit today. One that has got us up through these ranks and back on the radar of the Premier League, even if the FA Cup wasn’t ours this time around.”
His words settled over the room and brought back a sense of self to all the players. Next to you, Roy breathed out softly and in understanding. You could feel the tension within him dissipate ever so slightly.
And then, that all went away.
“Knock knock!” a voice sounded from the door to the locker room. A second later, a face you didn’t recognise turned the corner and into the room. “Awh no, sorry for the loss, lads,” he said, as your eyes darted quickly around the room, trying to find any semblance of familiarity. You found it in Jamie’s eyes instantly. “Though, not fully sorry. Because Man City fuckin’ won!” His Mancunian accent reverberated throughout the room.
You understood immediately, as you watched Jamie’s hands ball into fists. The rest of the team stayed back, as if glued to their cubbies. This was Jamie’s father. It had to be.
Jamie’s dad pottered further into the room, towards his son. Jamie stood up as he did, sucking a deep breath into his tired lungs. “My boy, my boy. You bottled it didn’t ya?”
Your entire body tensed as everyone observed, not saying a word. Jamie’s dad only kept coming, not paying any mind to the other players in the room. Roy’s grip on your waist tightened suddenly, as if he could feel your anxiety rising. You could feel the same from him; every muscle in his body tried desperately to hold back.
Jamie’s father lunged towards his son’s face, so close that Jamie couldn’t look anywhere else. “You hear me, boy? You fuckin’ bottled it, didn’t ya?” he repeated.
“Don’t speak to me that way,” Jamie said quickly, seething.
“Wha?” his father faked not hearing him, getting even closer.
“Do not speak to me that way,” Jamie repeated. His father looked up to his face, catching his eye lethally.
Your gut lurched as his father kept going, kept repeating wha?, kept getting closer and closer to his boy’s face. This was vile, and you could hardly believe no one was doing anything.
“Wanna say that to me again, boy?”
Jamie stood his ground, puffing out his chest to be bigger, straightening out his spine to be taller, and better, and whatever else he hadn’t learned from his shit-bag of a father.
“Huh?” he said again, louder. “Huh!” he exclaimed. Alongside his voice, his hands bombarded into Jamie’s chest– hard.
Something within you snapped. Your chest compressed, your intestines warped, and your legs started moving. Roy’s grip disappeared from around your waist as you rushed forward, not giving a shit about the audience, or about the guys, or about Nate. Nate, who was standing behind Ted and Beard, saying and doing nothing.
Inside, you stopped caring. You didn’t give a fuck if he hated you being around, you didn’t give a fuck if you’d get in trouble from this outburst, but you had to do something– anything. Jamie Tartt was being publicly abused by his father in front of your eyes, and you couldn’t fucking stand it.
Maybe this is what Roy meant. You were the glue. You kept everyone together, you brought Roy back to the team. Maybe this is what you’d always been meant to do– protect these boys from whatever you fucking could, when they weren’t able to for themselves.
As Jamie recovered, ready to strike, you were already one step ahead. In a fraction of a second, you were already beside his father, fist raised. When your knuckles hit his skin, you finally came back into the room. There were two crashes; one from the impact of your fist on his father’s cheekbone; the second from him hitting the floor unceremoniously.
Quickly, Beard approached you and hoisted Jamie’s dad up by his armpits. The two of them backed out of the door, clambering over stray shoes and shirts and whatever else that lay on the floor. Without any warning, two large arms wrapped around you from behind and pulled you off the ground. You knew it was Roy as soon as you smelled his cologne. You smiled inappropriately, and then you chuckled to yourself deviously.
You’d just punched Jamie’s piece of shit dad in the fucking face.
And it felt fantastic.
Clatters sounded from the outside corridor. Beard breathed heavily as he made his way back into the locker room, and the door slammed loudly behind him. The air felt heavy as eyes darted around the room. The guys looked at each other, then to Beard, then to you. Roy still held you tightly, dangling you above the ground as you tried your damned hardest not to burst into laughter.
You couldn’t feel your hand. Your knuckles were red when you dropped your gaze to look. Your hand shook, finger bones stuck in place as they contemplated what their owner had just done– thrown a punch for the first time in her fucking life, and very haphazardly at that.
When Jamie looked over to you, Roy finally dropped you to the floor. He leaned in close to your face, surveying your eyes suddenly. This was a look you’d never seen from him; fear. Roy Kent wasn’t one to be afraid, but the way his eyes poured into your own had your chest crumpling beneath your skin. He was worried– he was frightened– for you.
“You ok?” he whispered.
You nodded quickly. “I’m not the one you need to be asking that to.” Your gaze moved over to Jamie in a heartbeat.
Roy stood up straight once more, puffing out his chest as he inhaled a deep, shuddering breath. He started walking without warning, fists balled, towards the Richmond striker. Everyone held their breath, knowing that him and Jamie together were not a good combination. You, however, smiled to yourself without question.
When Roy reached Jamie, he wrapped his arms around him immediately. Coach and player hugged in silence, as the gravity of what Jamie’s father had just done stuck to every wall in the room. He needed this– hands on help, a real show of love and affection.
You were happy that Roy was the one to breach contact. That’s exactly what Jamie had needed.
“You ok?” Roy asked him, pulling away from the embrace.
Jamie breathed out slowly. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“It’s not me you should be thanking,” Roy muttered.
Both men turned back to face you. You held your wrist with care, not wanting to jolt your now fucked up hand. You smiled at the two of them knowingly, as everything settled back into place.
Behind you, Nathan Shelley grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. On the way out of the locker room, he rushed past you harshly. You yelped to yourself as he pushed into you, jolting your wrist painfully. He stopped before you for just a second; he smiled. Your heart skipped a beat.
“Watch yourself there,” he said, in some kind of fake honey-toned pitch. Then, he turned on his heels and left the locker room as fast as he’d bumped into you.
Another threat. What a fucking joke.
Your face soured immediately, you couldn’t help it. Inside your head, you imagined a world where you’d told Roy all that Nate had put you through recently. You could see it clearly– his whole body would tense, his fists would ball, his nostrils would flare, and he’d yell I’ll show that little fucker!
Deeper within the indulgent part of your mind, he kissed you passionately before he went to confront Nate on your behalf. You swallowed quickly, trying to pat away those thoughts from the unexplored crevices of your mind. It was futile. Besides, you knew you still couldn’t tell Roy about Nate’s behaviour, for the sake of the team.
One day, rest assured, you would. When Nate left Richmond, or something else happened to change things around here, that’s when you’d lay it all out for him.
You were counting down the days.
“Hey,” Roy said, alerting you back into the room once more. Stood before you, he looked down at your hand. His brows furrowed. “Hm,” he growled gently.
“It’s fine,” you lied.
Softly, Roy laid his fingers atop your red knuckles. A sharp pain bombarded through your flesh instantly, forcing you to suck in a gasp. The pain spread to the rest of your hand, down your fingers, and twinged into your wrist. You couldn’t help it– you had to scream. “Motherfucker!”
“Just as I thought,” Roy said. “You’ve fractured the shit out of your hand.”
You squirmed on the spot, trying desperately to alleviate the pain you felt. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you rattled off, purely as a way to expel what you felt.
“Come on.” Roy bent down to the floor and picked up your bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “Let’s go to the physio.” You hardly heard him, too focused on your hand. Roy gently wrapped his arm around your shoulders, leading you out of the room. “See you in a bit, lads!” he exclaimed to the room.
The two of you turned into the empty corridor ay Wembley, walking slowly as you tried to hold onto the last of your composure.
“God,” you hissed. “Why the fuck did I punch Jamie’s dad?”
“Because someone had to,” Roy replied. “And besides.” He glanced at you unknowingly, as you remained preoccupied on your self-inflicted injury. “It was fucking hot.”
You groaned immensely, dropping your head onto Roy’s shoulder. “It doesn’t fucking feel like it,” you whined. Roy couldn’t help but smile.
“Oh, believe me,” he said lowly, indulging in you being this close to him. “It was.”
Roy held you all the way to the physio. Secretly, he’d never been happier that you’d decided to be so reckless. Perhaps, he thought, he was rubbing off on you just as much as you’d changed him for the better.
Tag list: @atjamesbbarnes @20th-centu-fairy-girl @royalestrellas @weakmoony-stuff @ironmanmagnetfridge @lemonpiegurll @hellomagicalsouls @her-fandom-sanctum @gothicwidowsworld @old-enough-to-know-better73 @djarindroid @afraidofshrimp @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @queen-of-dumbasses @sogoodtoheritsvicious @lznnph1l @crav1ngc4ke @onceuponaoneshot @jamieolivia27 @dadbodfanatic-x @kelp-dreaming @harrypedro465 @lonely-escape-artist @abeeabeeabee @nicklet94 @libsybum @cha0sdreaming @toomany24s @kashee-h @infinetlyforgotten @secretnook @cluelesslilsharkie @callmecasey81 @deepdarkvelvet @twiceinabluemoon @cardeegans @golden-hoax @kingleahhh @hoalkk1 @sunderland-6 @ellouisa17 @thesestrangerslikeme @elissaaa @scrumptiousroadponymoney @confessionsofatotaldramaslut @ysmmsy @seacactusplant @pedritosgirl2000 @loveslide @ryleyrooroo @hanybunch @tweasley20 @witchyanya-7 @sareim123122 @jaymum @lwritesstuff @kravitzwhore @preciousbabypeter @blue-bujo @dark-academia-slut @imsupposedtohaveaname @tigolebittiez @strawberry07cake @eugene-emt-roe @dd122004dd @marjorieisreading @kissmekent @trashcanfullofdork @rmwarn90 @nerdgirljen @secretsicanthideanymore @sortzz @a-asterias
#roy kent x reader#roy kent x you#second person#ted lasso#fanfiction#ted lasso ff#roy kent ff#brett goldstein#ao3#wattpad#x reader#reader insert#angst#slow burn#update#lightyaers#writeblr#romance#fluff#enemies to friends to lovers#chapter#archive of our own#take care fic
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(p.2) unlearning takes time
[part 1] [...] [part 3 (not done yet)]
#my art#mine#pressure tickles#roblox pressure tickles#sebastian solace#p.ai.nter#watercolor#sebpainter#mfw i have issues after being experimented on + essentially enslaved against my will for over a decade#and i hate myself for having wants because it makes me feel weak and its been too dangerous to let myself feel weak for so long#but now i have a robot s/o who will do literally fucking anything for me because i fulfilled my only promise to them#just sebcore things#setting dynamic and language insp by second nature by breadwave on ao3 btw#as well as a few other fics with a similar setting that i quite enjoy...#but i just need everyone to read breadwave's fics bc theyre all ive thought about for weeks
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-....he can have an entire argument with Bruce's eyebrow and win, as far as Jason can tell.
Yeah, Jason thinks. He gets it.
———
It sucks to know your next-door neighbors might have been psychopaths.
This is taken so out of context which just makes it so much funnier.
#the capillaries in my eyes are burstingScarlet_Ribbons#ao3#dc#dcu#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#ao3 fic#ao3 kudos#i need more fics like this#funny#tim drake#jason todd#angst#robin jason todd#tim and jason#tiny tim#unhinged tim drake#tim joins the family early#early adopted tim#bad parent janet drake#jack drake#miss mac#child tim drake#kid tim drake#batman#jason and tim#dc robin#batman and robin#jason todd robin#the second robin
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please don’t tell me these two checkboxes that keep coming up on ao3 are some new legal thing we have to deal with
have we not suffered enough? was once not enough, cyber gods that be?
#ao3#ao3 is down#archive of our own#fanfic#I can only hope it’s nothing major and not some weird cyberattack thing again#let us read our questionable fics in peace please#FOR THE SECOND TIME IN AS MANY DAYS TOO#like hUUUUHHHH
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im trying to desperately to come up with a mukaro prompt for you bc she's so underrated but i cant come up with anything interesting. draw mukaro but she's happy. there.
happy muku
#danganronpa#mukuro ikusaba#scardraws#scaranswers#karl forgets his fucking tags like always ugh#blessing and a curse to be organized#anyway junko taught her how to do all the lil heart signs#need them to be somewhat wholesome#let them teach eachother random bullshit and send eachother fanfics#Actually that second one would go so wrong so fast#muku being the kind big sis she is would find like 'childhood friends to lovers tsundere 30k+ happy ending' (matsuda refrence)#novels and go 'look its your fav pair!'#and junko being junko would send her poor sister omeagaverse fics from the deepths of ao3 hell#anyway not what this drawing was about but i just wanted to ramble about despair sibsters
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every single dazai/soukoku/chuuya fan deserves to reside in hell for flooding every other bsd ship or character tag with unrelated fics
#it should not be this hard#to find atsushi centric fics#he is the MAIN CHARACTER?????#like as a sskk shipper#filtering out skk should not be the first thing i have to do#to find a fic#its the second most popular ship and its still THIS bad???#bsd#fanfics#ao3#dazai#soukoku#skk#sskk#bsd ao3#bungo stray dogs#chuuya#OH AND ALSO#when i go to read#higugin#sskk also becomes a problem#im praying for all you rarepair lovers and#sskk and skk haters#idk how you do it 💔
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i didn't expect it to be someone like you, i didn't expect you to be like me
#dinluke#the mandalorian#digital art#dinluke art#clan of three#another five second sad dinluke#i like to think that maybe this is one where luke and grogu met first and din somehow finds his way into their story#there's at least one fic on ao3 like that#or maybe din brings grogu back to luke somehow and luke is so relieved bc he's felt very alone as a jedi for a long time#alas i shant stay long#i still don’t have the bandwidth for extra stress#the fandom discourse is a little spicy at the moment and kind of uncomfy for a gnc person
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WHERE WE LANDED | 70k | M
The leaves were green the last time Harry stepped foot in Holmes Chapel, a stark contrast to the candy apple, butterscotch painting them now, years later. Harry first notices them on the train, gazing out the window with a down-turned mouth. A warm something floods his stomach–memories, Harry imagines, of him as a boy, longing for the days when he’d live elsewhere and have to take this very train home for the holidays. He wonders how it’s possible to have once felt eager and euphoric at the sight of changing leaves, yet to now feel nothing but tired. He sighs to himself, turning away from the trees to look at his daughter, half-curled in his lap, asleep.
in which harry returns to his hometown with his sick daughter and more reminders than he bargained for of the boy he once loved when he left a handful of years ago.
written for the @newsecondtimesacharmfest
#fanfic#second times a charm#where we landed#hlficlibrary#hlsource#hlcreators#hltracks#1dsource#1dficvillage#allwaswell16#tracksintheam#ficsfor4am#alwaysxlarrie#trackinghome#yourlarrysource#ao3 feed larry#hljournal#thelarriefics#bhutopia#my fics
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Poor Bed, hes going to get the shoveltalk from multiple avengers, the bats and MJ. Not sure which is scarrier tbh, but its probably MJ
i fear that if any of them try, peter will kill them, but there's also the fact that when they meet ned, they'll very quickly realize this kid could not hurt a fly without crying 🍎
#the apple is an inside joke with me and me alone#but it's involved with everyone going “yeah ok this kid is hilarious/i am extremely worried he will die if i look away for two seconds”#second fic things#i can't wait till this happens#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#thank you for the ask!#ned leeds#peter parker in gotham#peterned#peter x ned#dick: my favorite son in law!!!
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GUESS WHAT I HAVE NOW YALL MUAHHAHA after all these years she finally makes an Ao3 account smh
#ao3#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#Ill probs upload my tumblr fics on there too eventually!!#HERES THE FIC I WAS TALKING ABOUT HWJEBBWJE#second chapter is COMING PROBS LATER TODAY WBEJWBHED#sonadow#shadow the hedgehog#my fic writing
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snippet from my upcoming polin fic where colin loses (some of) his memories and struggles to figure out penelope's place in his life
—————
“Am I courting her?” Colin asked “Penelope Featherington?”
“Penelope Featherington? Courting?” Benedict gaped at Colin, the biscuit halfway to his mouth dropping to his lap in shock. “You mean to say it took losing your memories for you to finally see sense?"
“You thought you were courting Penelope?” Anthony remarked dryly. “Penelope Featherington?”
“Yes, why ever do you sound so surprised?” Colin glared at his eldest brother, some familiar anger arising at Anthony's disbelieving words, though he couldn’t quite recall why it felt like poking a sore bruise. “And how many times must we repeat her name? Do you find her lacking in some way? I found her to be a most agreeable dance partner and rather charming too.”
Benedict whistled and turned to smirk at Anthony, “Yes dear brother, is Miss Penelope lacking?” He chuckled and popped the rest of the biscuit in his mouth as Anthony rolled his eyes. “Mother would be disappointed to hear you say such things.”
“Do not speak with food in your mouth, honestly Benedict, Mother would be disappointed in you. In regards to Miss Featherington, I think Penelope is a lovely girl, it’s just you’ve never looked at her twice.”
Benedict choked briefly before sputtering, “What on earth are you going on about? Colin has been in love with the girl for years!”
Anthony frowned. “In love? Years? Have you lost your senses, have your endless nights of drinking and women finally taken their toll?”
“You know, it truly is a wonder you pulled your head out of your arse long enough to marry Kate, you’ve got no talent for matters of the heart do you?”
“They are friends!”
“You must be joking. Everyone knows it!” Benedict flung out his arms for emphasis before he paused, considering. “Well everyone but Colin. And you it seems, maybe Eloise. I digress. Mother has been hoping they’d marry since they were in leading strings.”
“He proposed to her cousin. After merely a few weeks of courting! I think it’s a bit of a stretch to say -”
Benedict threw his remaining biscuit at Anthony, who failed to catch it and scowled at the crumbs now scattered across his waistcoat and desk.
“I’m engaged?” Colin finally cut in, flabbergasted. “And no one’s thought to mention it till now?”
It was foolish to be so upset. He didn’t even know Penelope, not really. They had exchanged only a few words but he had felt so sure of their connection, of the way she had lit up the room with her smile and the tender way she had held his hands. How could he love some other girl, some girl that he couldn’t remember? Colin was a true romantic at heart, he was sure if he had a fiancé he would know her, love her, memories or not. Something would pull him to her, despite it all.
Like the red of Penelope's hair across the room.
He knocked back the rest of his drink, letting the burn of whiskey distract him.
#polin#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#bridgerton fic#bridgerton#i neeeeed to finish the first chapter so i can then finish the second one i wanna actually post this on ao3 and finish it ahhhhhhh
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because love knows no distance
⭢ haku x mc, 10.8k
His eyes alight on yours, a sunset-warm that sends sparks skipping down your veins, a July-gold that spreads like lava to the tips of your fingers. You’re not sure how you’ve ever denied it, but now, under the spotlight of his gaze, your heart thrums with what it knows to be true – that you have loved Haku through every version of him, just as he has loved you through every version of you.
or: childhood friends to lovers au with a side of hotarubi shenanigans, because i couldn't resist. on ao3 here.
#tokyo debunker#haku kusanagi#lin writes#tokyo debunker x reader#slight shobaru if u squint and extrapolate a bit#was thinking about pasting the fic in but decided it was too long ajsdlhfakjds#in the ao3 link it goes!!#anyway this took me way too long lmao i started when haku's wedding card came around the second time and only just finished#ANYWAY gna knock out now then finish filling in my stupid forms tomorrow#haku brainrot
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