#season 3 was the worst about this it felt like they were trying to drag out the show to fill the episode count

[sonknuxadow]

sonic prime is so weird because some of the shatterverse characters feel like they actually had a lot of thought into them and are meant to be a representation of or a subversion of a certain trait in the original character and others are like . okay lets put that guy in an outfit so we can make one billion dollars selling toys

[klaus-littlestwolf]

No Matter What- Aemond T.

Aemond is in love, and he refused to allow his nephew to have her. He will take her from Jacaerys by any means necessary.

Am I just going to keep writing my fics as if Season 2 didn’t happen at all?

Yeah…it’s very likely, yes🤣🤣

Also, for the person that DM’d me and asked if I have a name in mind for Y/n when I write for Aemond, yes. In my mind when I write, her name is Rhaella, I just think it’s the most beautiful Targaryen name I’ve heard. I also love Visenya but I feel it’s overused. The only other name I would potentially use would be Saera.

She was surprised by her Uncles attitude from the moment she first saw him again.

Y/n and Aemond had been best friends in their childhood. She had climbed onto the back of the Grey Ghost when she was only 5 years old (most people believing that the Dragon knew they were the same when it came to how shy and avoidant they were).

They hadn’t been close up until that point, only being 5 and 6 years old and both being outcasts among their family (though she almost preferred it that way). Y/n had offered to take Aemond with her flying one night after Aegon, Jace and Luke had ridiculed him again and he actually agreed, resting his hand on the nose of a dragon for the first time as Y/n calmed him. Climbing into the saddle and holding onto his niece had been awkward and a bit embarrassing until they were in the air and Aemond knew he was truly born for this.

From then on Y/n offered to take him with her quite often, always after their brothers had bullied one of them again. She comforted him, even once letting Aemond take the reigns and fly Ghost himself (which the pale dragon didn’t like at all sadly and only lasted a few moments), but the fact that she had done it meant the world to him. He promised to take Y/n with him on his dragon as soon as he mounts one, wanting desperately to impress her.

Aemond was Obsessed

Their friendship lasted like that for almost 4 years before that horrible night when Aemond was attacked by her brothers. He had been so excited to tell her about Vhagar, he had actually been running inside to wake her and take her flying like he promised when he was cut off.

She had held his hand from the moment she ran in, trying to comfort him as much as she was able until her mother pulled her away. Aemond raged when she was dragged away from his side but he was held down by Criston Cole from trying to take his Princess back, Daemon carrying the 9 year olds squirming body out and away from him.

As they all left the next morning he tried to find her, Rhaenyra glaring at him as he searched the courtyard and he knew her mother hadn’t let her come and say “goodbye”…that night was the last time he saw her for almost 9 years…

It was the worst thing Rhaenyra could have done. She had made her younger brother desperate, and desperate men do desperate things…he would have her back. No Matter What.

Aemond dreamed about nothing but his niece every single day after, determined to make her his despite the fact that her mother would never betroth her to him. He knew the only way he could make her his wife was to take her and make it the only option, Alicent would most definitely force their wedding very quickly rather than watch the only “legitimate” grandchild of her husband (other than his brother and sisters 3 children) carry a child unwed (as she was Daemons daughter “secretly” but could at least be passed off as not being Harwin Strongs).

When he finally saw her again he felt his breath stolen from his body, she was stunning, the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on. A women now, standing just shorter than Jace as she watched him in his training session with Cole. Aemond fought hard, determined to show her what he had become and he quickly ended the fight with his sword at his trainers throat.

‘Well done my Prince. You’ll be winning tourneys in no time.’

Aemond rolled his eyes at that. ‘I don’t give a shit about tourneys…nephews. Have you come to train?’ He questioned, looking over the both of them before making eye contact with Y/n who blushed heavily as he did. ‘Niece. It is a pleasure to lay eyes on you again…and you are truly a sight to behold.’ He stepped closer, shoving himself between the Strongs to take her hand in his, lifting it to his lips and looking into her lovely purple eyes. Aemond was comforted to see no fear or disgust on her face, but her beautiful blush was something he wanted to see forever. ‘You are just as gorgeous as I imagined you to be.’ He whispered, leaning close to her ear.

‘Thank you Uncle. You have become ever more handsome, a man grown. The ladies must be fighting tooth and nail for your affections.’ She teased, however before he could respond and insist that he wanted no affections but her own, her bastard brother snatched her hand from his.

‘I would thank you to keep your hands to yourself Uncle, my betrothed should not be touched by anyone but me.’ Jace spoke with a smirk on his face. Anyone with eyes knew Aemond had always been in love with Y/n and his nephew was smug to be able to take any kind of happiness away from him as he always had done.

Aemond composed himself immediately, smiling down at him kindly but Jace could see the rage in his eye, the silent threat that he was giving being clear. ‘I suppose congratulations are in order then.’ And though he said it, he gave none before smiling at Y/n who was then pulled in the opposite direction and out of the courtyard.

‘I do not want to see him touching you again, do you understand me?’ Jace demanded as they got into the castle, Y/n pulling her hand from his angrily.

‘You are not yet my husband brother, don’t you dare order me as if you are. I still have plenty of time to tell mother I would rather be betrothed to anyone but you and that Baela can be Queen by your side one day. I am not an object for you to take possession of!’ And with that she stormed off, Aemond around the corner having heard the whole thing. He knew exactly how to get his girl to be his…though he doubted it would be hard with how his nephew treated his Queen.

‘You should be kinder to your future Queen-‘

‘She is mine, whether she likes it or not. I am to be the King one day, she cannot refuse me.’ Jace joked with Luke who snorted, Aemond turning and leaving the hall. Y/n was his future wife, no matter what he had to do to make sure of it.

After the horrific meeting to attempt to give Driftmark to anyone but Luke he was sadly reestablished as heir thanks to the King and Aemond found himself in a bit of trouble with everyone at dinner after calling his nephews Strong.

All of them were sent to their chambers and he hightailed it back to her chamber, slipping in before his niece and her guard arrived, hiding behind the wardrobe in case anyone came in with her.

‘I am tired Jacaerys, all I want is a good, long sleep. Just leave me be for the night, I will not answer you if you come back! I need no protection from you!’ She snapped as the door opened.

‘If Aemond-‘

‘Aemond is not here! And now you are not here either, go to your own chambers and give me a night of peaceful sleep after all of this Bullshit!’ She slammed the door, locking it instantly and Aemond could feel his cock hardening in his breeches. Something about hearing her reject Jace was a turn on for him in a major way and he wanted to mark her neck up with as many bite marks as possible, he needed to show his nephew who his Princess truly belonged to.

‘That was impressive.’ Aemond spoke, seeing her nearly jump a foot in the air as she gasped. ‘Apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you…I just wanted to see you. I knew your betrothed would not allow you even a moment in my presence.’ Her eyes were slit instantly as he said this.

‘Jace thinks he can control me but I will not let myself be that kind of wife! I am not an object to be owned, to be ordered around in front of his friends to make him look like a strong man or King! I do not want to be his wife or his Queen!’ She snapped and Aemond did his best to look at her softly, wanting her to see his empathy and her eyes widened as she realized what she had done. ‘I am so sorry Kepus! You did not deserve that, I am not angry at you. I am so-‘ (Uncle)

‘Breathe Byka Dārilaros…it is alright. I understand how angry he makes you feel, I hate him as well, remember?’ He teased and she chuckled before stepping forward and not hesitating to wrap her arms around his body, resting her head on his chest. (Little Princess)

‘I missed you so much Kepus…I wanted to write to you but my mother wouldn’t let me. She said it was a betrayal to Luke and that since you didn’t write to me, you clearly wouldn’t care but I-‘

‘I did write to you. I sent letters for months before I received one from my sister telling me to stop, that you did not want to hear from me but I knew that was a lie . There was not a single day that passed that I did not think about how much I missed you…’ Aemond looked down at her, his arms around her to hold her to him, hesitating only a moment as he looked into her soft eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

She surprised him a bit when she didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, her hands moving to hold his shirt tightly as he took her face into his and held her close. Y/n was his everything and he had been craving for this exact moment since he was 6 years old, wanting to kiss her since the moment they first flew together. She will be his and he will keep her close forever, determined to never let anyone touch what is his ever again-especially Jace.

‘You are so perfect…’ he mumbled against her lips before pulling away and resting his forehead on hers. ‘Do you want this? I don’t want to force you into anything you do not desire, my love…however I want you to be mine. I have craved you for so many years and I will cherish the ground you walk on if you will be mine.’ Aemond knew giving her the choice would make the difference in pushing her to do what she wanted even against her mothers wishes.

‘I love you Kepus, I always have…our mothers will never-‘

‘There is a way…My mother will insist upon it if I have already filled you with my son…’ he tried to speak softly, let her know that it is her choice to make. ‘I love you Byka Dārilaros, and I want you to be my wife more than anything. The thought of being forced to marry another turns my stomach however I will never force myself upon you. If you would marry Jace then I will love you from afar…but if you want me then I will make love to you right here and now. I will pleasure you all night long until you are so full of me there is no doubt you carry my son and then I will sleep inside of your pretty little cunt for our family to find come morning…let me love you in every way that he can’t.’ There were tears in her eyes as he finished speaking to her and he moved to wipe them away before she spoke again. Y/n reached up, taking the eyepatch covering his sapphire into her fingers before he caught her wrist awkwardly. No lady had ever seen his face and not been uncomfortable or disgusted by it which is why he always covered it whenever he wasn’t alone in his room or in the library.

‘I would look upon your face and see all that you are…while you fill me with our first child.’ He looked at her, startled for a moment before he released her hand and she pulled the eyepatch off.

‘First of many…I will fill you with as many children as you desire.’ Aemond promised before kissing her again, his hands moving to the back of her dress where he unlaced the corset and pulled it down her arms, lifting her out of the dress and moving to drop her onto the bed. She pulled off her small clothes as she watched him remove his shirt and breeches, leaving him bare and revealing his hard cock that was already leaking. ‘You are so beautiful, my love…tell me that you’re mine.’ Aemond insisted, his hand giving his member a firm stroke.

‘I’m yours Kepus, all yours forever.’ She promised as he crawled over her, kissing his jaw and down his neck sweetly. She was just so precious he couldn’t help the needy feeling in his chest demanding he take her.

‘All mine! Should any man look at you even a moment too long ever again, I will remove their eyes and feed them to the ravens.’ Aemond pushed her legs apart more so that he could settle between them, feeling her wetness on his cock for the first time and nearly cumming on the spot. He gave her a moment to relax herself upon pushing into her however she shocked him once again, moaning like a whore only a moment later prompting him to shove his hand over her mouth. ‘If someone hears you then your guard will come in here and we will be dragged apart. I would hear your lovely moans forevermore once I’ve filled your cunt but for now you must hush.’ She whined but bit her bottom lip hard to keep from making any loud noises. Aemond loved the knowledge that he could make her moan like that, in love with fucking her body already as he thrust up into her roughly. Her nails dug into his shoulders, scratching down his back painfully which sent a rush of pleasure through his belly upon him sucking hard on her throat, biting into her perfect skin quite hard and covering her mouth with a hand once again as she nearly screamed, her pussy tightening around his cock in a way he had never felt before which practically dragged his own end from his body. ‘Gods be good, I’ve never felt anything like that before…you felt good?’ It was an insecure moment of him needing that reassurance and while with anyone else he would have been instantly embarrassed, she nodded, quite dazed it seemed and he knew she didn’t judge him for a moment. ‘Your cunt is a form of blissful ecstasy I did not know was attainable. You are mine now Y/n…say it…’

‘Yours Aemond…all yours…you will be my husband as soon as next week and you will be able to have me anytime and any place you desire. I never thought it could feel like that…I love you Kepus.’ Her words touched him and in that moment Aemond knew that he would never need anyone else in this world again as long as he had Y/n and their future silver haired babies.

‘I love you too Mandianna, I always have. From this night on they will never be able to steal you from me again! You are all mine Y/n…and I will take pleasure in making sure everyone knows it.’ He made his point as he thrust his hard cock up into her once more prompting her sharp intake of breath, nails digging into his forearms before pulling him down to kiss her. (Niece)

Aemond spent the night filling his future wife with as much of his seed as his body held, biting her perfect pale skin everywhere he could reach and ensuring no one would ever be able to argue who she belonged to again. He finally had what he had always wanted, the only things left to do was put a tiara upon her head and meet their children.

The knock on the door was the thing that awakened the both of them the next morning quite early and far too soon considering how many hours Aemond had spent filling his bride…(6 hours). It was frantic and Aemond groaned, pulling Y/n closer into his chest as he was happy to ignore it before her mother shouted.

‘Y/n! You aren’t at breakfast and neither is Aemond! If he is in there with you…!’ She warned and Aemond found the half threat amusing.

‘Aemond! Are you in there?!’ His mother was the one shouting through the door now and he smiled, kissing his soon-to-be-wife’s lips before responding.

‘Good morning mother!’ He responded.

‘You Little Fuck! If you’ve hurt my daughter I swear to all of the Gods!’ Rhaenyra raged. ‘Daemon! Get This Door Open!’ She demanded.

‘He did not hurt me mother!’ Y/n stated just before the first loud hit to the door causing his girl to scream, turning to hide her face into his neck as he sat up. It took 2 more strikes before the door burst open and their mothers entered along with Daemon and Otto. Y/n was covered up to her waist while her upper body was pressed to his leaving only her back exposed.

‘Aemond! What have you done?’ Alicent asked sadly, clearly trying to think of a solution, knowing there was only one in this situation.

‘You all know that we have loved each other since we were children. Did you think that would go away just because you didn’t give her my letters sister?’ Rhaenyra’s eyes widened before she glared at him in a rage.

‘What is he talking about?’ His mother asked.

‘I didn’t want him speaking to her! She will not marry her Uncle like-‘

‘Like you did?’ Alicent deadpanned making the Princess look to her. ‘She will actually marry her Uncle, from this moment they are betrothed-‘

‘My daughter is already betrothed to-‘

‘Not anymore!’ Otto cut her off. ‘From this moment on the Princess Y/n Velaryon is to be wed to Prince Aemond Targaryen. The wedding will take place at the end of the week, we cannot have anyone knowing of these indiscretions when she begins to show as I am assuming she is likely pregnant?’ He asked Aemond who grinned.

‘Oh, most definitely. I’ve left no doubt that she carry���s my son. I was actually planning on filling her with another one before you so rudely broke the door down-‘

‘Do not push your luck Aemond!’ His Grandsire warned.

‘I should remove your head you insolent little shit.’ Daemon growled, Aemond seeing the rage in his eyes.

‘Then your grandchild would be without a father, Uncle. What purpose would that serve except ensuring your daughter hates you?’ Y/n moved her hand to pinch his side making him jump. ‘I’m sorry Byka Dārilaros.’

Aemond could see the surprise at his apology in his mother and Grandsire’s eyes. ‘Maybe this will be a good thing after all.’ Otto considered before turning to leave the room.

‘No more fooling around. Get dressed and get to breakfast. Now.’ With that his mother guided Rhaenyra and Daemon reluctantly out of the room.

‘Can your husband help you get dressed my love?’ Aemond questioned and she kissed his shoulder before biting his neck as he had done to her about 30 times the previous night, the evidence of which was very clear to see all over her chest and breasts. Aemond was proud though, because while she could hide those the 5 marks on her neck were not able to be hidden before breakfast where he was eager for Jace to see them.

They were both dressed 10 minutes later, their hair staying down until after they broke their fast for the day, Aemond leading her down the halls and enjoying the smile on his girls face as they entered the room with their family. He sat her down beside him and watched her fill her plate and eat, clearly hungry from their previous nights activities which filled him with pride at being able to satisfy his wife.

‘What is that?’ A voice demanded and everyone looked up to see Jace pointing at Y/n’s neck.

‘Jace, we will discuss this after we eat. You-‘

‘No!’ He cut his mother off, jumping up from his seat and moving to Y/n’s side in an instant, yanking her hair to the side and looking at her neck. Aemond heard her whimper in pain as he pulled her hair, holding her chin to expose her throat to him and he was instantly up from his chair with his hands on Jace.

‘That’s Enough!’ Rhaenyra shouted before Aemond punched his nephew who nearly flew backwards at the force his fist caused before he moved to grab him again, a voice calling his name through the jumble of people yelling which had his attention immediately.

‘Come eat with me Kepus, please?’ Y/n asked softly and he couldn’t deny her that as she held her hand out. Aemond moved to take it, lifting her onto his lap and sitting to eat, feeding her and feeling proud at providing her what she needs, thoroughly enjoying her feeding him as well.

It seemed that everyone was shocked at Aemond disengaging from the fight but his attention was on his soon to be wife as it should be. ‘We should go for a morning flight after breakfast…let me take you for a ride as I promised, late as the kept promise may be.’ Y/n looked up at him and he could see her surprise which he found adorable.

‘You…you want me to-to ride Vhagar?’ She questioned and he chuckled.

‘Not alone of course but yes, I had wanted to take you up with me the night I mounted her but that clearly didn’t happen. It will be fun, I promise.’ The smile on his girls face was worth everything to him. She was precious and he would keep his wife happy no matter what. If that meant that his nephews and older sister needed to be un-happy, then that was just icing on the cake for him.

He finally took her flying with him later that day, though it made her own dragon quite grumpy and forced her to take Ghost for his own flight before they could go back home. Aemond had finally kept his promise, and had ensured he got exactly what he wanted in the end.

Now all that is left for Aemond to do is figure out how to make Y/n his Queen and fulfill his dream of his wife riding him on the Iron Throne.

That one may take a bit more work, but he would ensure it, No Matter What.

Aemond T. Masterlist

[twdgkidsdeservebetter]

Everything Wrong With Umbrella Academy Season 4 (Characters)

The way it felt like someone who had never seen the show wrote this season????

The characters were AWFUL and were almost entirely new characters with all their previous character development forgotten.

Allison - Honestly, I don't like Allison (after watching THAT scene w Luther), so I really didn't care what happened with her this season. I think it does suck that she wasn't able to be happy with Ray, they were nice together. Also, no rumours? Her power was one of the most interesting out of the family.

Luther - People were commenting about how childish and positive he was being this season and how it was out of character from him being so serious. Honestly? I love silly Luther, he's such a breath of fresh air. I also like to believe that because Luther was assigned the leader of the family (being number 1 and all), he's able to enjoy himself without that pressure. Also, I also love to believe that Luther is using being positive and silly as a coping mechanism as to not be overwhelmed by the sadness of losing Sloane and also his current living situation. Giving him his gorilla body back was so unnecessary and makes no sense cause it wasn't the marigold that gave him the body.

Ben - He sucked. I hate that Sparrow Ben was the one that was dragged with them because it meant that we had to deal with him sulking and being angsty the whole time. Also, the character development we witnessed 1-2 just disappeared instantly cause of Sparrow Ben. Also, his friendship with Klaus was the best thing in the show and I hate that we never get to see that in season 3.

Klaus - I was actually so happy for him being sober, even if he wasn't living the best life because of his paranoia with death and germs. So it really sucked when that immediately went down the drain the second his body got the marigold.

Diego - He deserved better. Yeah, his constant complaining about his "belly" (which wasn't even that big of a difference??) and wanting to go back to his old super spy life did affect his and Lila's marriage, but when he realised that he immediately accepted that he was at fault and was willing to improve their marriage to make Lila happy.

Lila - I liked Lila before season 4. I don't know what they were thinking honestly by changing her entire character. Yes, she and Five were stuck for 7 years together, but seriously? That plot added NOTHING to the story because in the end, Lila chose Diego and then they all DIED like 10 minutes later!!

Viktor - Honestly? Viktor didn't really stand out this season for me. Sure, he got kidnapped by Ian Hawk. I thought the idea of him trying to remove the marigold from Ben was a really cool idea but then it just didn't happen. I thought his interactions with Reginald were decent, since it's interesting to see how this Reginald thinks about Viktor compared to the original timeline Reginald.

Five - It's honestly kind of impressive how the writers were able to make the best character in the show the worst character by the end of it. They completely changed his whole character. First, his personality is duller than a door nail. He's so emotionless and so boring. Where's the excessive facial expressions and movements? Second, changing his motivations. For the past 3 seasons we have watched him with one goal in his mind; "Save the world and his siblings". So why would Five ever possibly consider both giving that up for Lila of all people. Third, giving Five a love interest was so useless and lazy. Why would he choose a girl over his siblings? Especially one literally MARRIED to his BROTHER. Fourth, him being all pouty and jealous over Lila choosing Diego (her husband and father of her kids - no shit she was gonna pick him over Five, literally have no idea why Five even thought he had a chance) to the point where he plans to just ditch his family in the middle of a big fight. Five, him fighting Diego in the middle of said big fight. THEN, Five just gives up??? Yeah, that's probably all he could do but seriously, this is Five we're talking about, the guy who survived in 45 years in the apocalypse to try and get back to his family and save the world. Do you really believe that he would just give up?

BONUS:

Jennifer - They could introduce a new character/love interest for Ben but they didn't do the same for Five so they just gave him the only other woman who wasn't his sister???? LAZY. Also, the amount of plot holes with Jennifer's character makes me queasy.

[yanderes-galore]

Hello Phanter, I hope you're doing well! 🙌

Would you mind writing a few headcanons for a Platonic!Yandere Marcoh and Pav with a rather weak Reader?

May you have a great holiday season!!<3

Sure! I made the separate as idk if you meant sharing or not. They're probably incompatible anyways now that I think about it.

Yandere! Platonic! Marcoh + Pavel with Weak! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Overprotective behavior, Murder, Blood mention, Isolation, Fear of death, Forced companionship.

Marcoh

Well, Marcoh stuck around Olivia because she was in a wheelchair.

If you were weak in battle then he'd certainly feel an urge to protect you.

Despite his reserved nature I feel Marcoh would be willing to protect you.

He's protected Olivia and Tanaka during the festival, he'd do the same with you.

Although, as this is yandere, he no doubt protects you more intensely.

You naturally end up gravitating towards Marcoh as he seems like the strongest fighter on the train.

Marcoh feels obligated to protect you because you admit you're a terrible fighter.

People like you wouldn't last long in a game of survival… so you need some help!

Marcoh sees you as either a sibling or friend.

He starts off really reserved but when you recruit him he quickly ends up becoming your bodyguard.

Marcoh towers over you due to his stature and it's like he has an intimidating aura.

Even though he hates his violent past and doesn't want to fight unless he has to….

Marcoh knows in a place like this you have to fight to survive.

Whenever you encounter corrupted townsfolk or creatures, Marcoh is quick to intervene.

Marcoh is strong, you can notice it in his hits.

Although it seems like he's trying harder for you as you can't hit as hard, even with your weapon (unless you have a firearm).

Marcoh mostly acts as a bodyguard, although there's times he breaks his stoic and reclusive behavior to care for you.

Marcoh is socially awkward so speaking is sometimes a struggle, yet he tries to get over it when speaking to you.

Marcoh is kind and friendly towards you.

He often asks how you're taking things and comforts you when you're scared.

If you're injured he tries his best to heal you, although he may also try to find help (Like from Daan).

With a weak darling he'd be extremely protective.

He rarely leaves you alone and is determined to have you both survive the horrors of this city.

Marcoh may also try to teach you basic self-defense due to the danger.

He'll try to be gentle as you're weaker than him.

In fact, Marcoh treats you like you may break any moment.

That's why he keeps staining his hands with more red for you.

As he grows attached and this twisted game continues, Marcoh finds himself wanting to treat you like a doll who may break.

Why should you go out there at all?

Maybe you should just stay back on the train… with him…

That way you two can be safe… after all… what's the worst that can happen?

“You'll be the safest here with me watching you… please don't fight me on this.”

Pavel Yudin

Pavel is a man with a trigger finger

His reason for coming to Prehevil is due to his urge for revenge.

He wants The Kaiser dead for what happened to his home.

As a result, Pavel is often violent and willing to get rid of anyone in his way.

If he had felt something towards you, a weak soul sent to slaughter, he'd be ruthless.

Pavel isn't known for being caring.

He's sly and mischievous.

However, maybe he has a change of heart when you treat his wounds after encountering The Kaiser.

At first he brushes you off.

You're so weak yet you still risked your life to drag him back here to the train and treat him?

How idiotic…

….

On second thought… Maybe he can have you tag along.

You won't last long out here on your own.

You'll need a companion on your journey.

While Marcoh has some hesitance to kill, Pavel straight up doesn't.

If something threatens you he straight up shoots them in the face.

Contestant, monster, Kaiser… doesn't matter to him.

You've managed to worm your way into his mind and heart, so he'll protect you.

He sees you as some sort of comrade, one who gave him kindness.

Such a thing is a weakness… but to him, he sees it as a useful weakness.

He isn't very empathetic so he's more just like a cold bodyguard.

He doesn't mind the blood staining his clothes as he gets rid of foes.

Even covered in the stuff he still checks on you.

Pavel often comes to you for treatment, yet he'll treat you too.

He prefers just having to look after you.

He shows distaste in some of the other contestants around you.

You wonder just how long it'll take before he just decides to kill the others.

When it comes to you… he might actually do it.

Especially in a festival such as this.

You can just see it in his eyes…

You aren't sure if you're ready for when that time comes, either.

“Anyone touches you and they're dead, stay behind me. Don't cause me any problems.”

[phantom-of-the-501st]

The Rambles Return

Ya girl's back and she's got more thoughts about Echo!

It's been a while since I've done one of these (life be hectic and all) but with season 3 coming out soon I'm revisiting season 2 and I have some more thoughts about episodes 1 and 2. When the episodes came out I touched on the conversations that Echo has with Omega and how he handled the fact that she was pushing too hard to prove herself. Originally, I said that his understanding of her feelings came from a) knowing that she is a child and is more likely to make reckless decisions and b) knowing that what he said could have been worded differently and that "our lives are like this because of Omega" could easily lead to her feelings being hurt (even though the statement isn't wrong and I still stand by that). But looking at the episodes now, I think that there is an extra layer to it.

And it's that Echo understands what it's like to have to try and prove your worth.

Echo was trained in Domino Squad, who were considered by many to be incompetent. It got to the stage where they were almost barred from being allowed to join the GAR completely and only passed their training after being given a second chance. He had to work so hard to prove that he was valuable, that he could be what the army needed, and that he wasn't just a burden. And when Domino passed their training, it showed the higher ups that this group of clones could pull their weight and be valuable members of the GAR.

And then everything went wrong on the Rishi Moon. 3/5 of the squad members were taken out and Fives and Echo were not only left to mourn their brothers, but to carry on going, to prove that even after everything that they had been through, they could be the soldiers that the army wanted them to be. A job that became even harder upon being conscripted into the 501st. Imagine the amount of pressure that those two must have felt to prove themselves and show that they deserved to be in one of the most prominent clone battalions.

And they did prove themselves. Their promotion to ARC Trooper and their subsequent involvement in important missions going forward demonstrated how capable these two were. They could finally stand in front of the people that doubted them, knowing that they had proved their worth.

Cut to the Citadel mission.

Echo gets injured, kidnapped, and turned into a cyborg. His brain is harvested for information and thousands of his brothers die because of the information that the separatists got a hold of. The guilt, the self-hatred, the depression and the PTSD that Echo deals with as a result of that would drag him back down. Because now he's back where he started. Suddenly he has to prove himself all over again: prove that he can still fight, prove that he still has the same level of intellect he did, and prove that he isn't a traitor. If anything, Echo had even more to prove now than he did in training.

Echo knows what it's like to want to prove your worth, to fight to show that you deserve to be there as much as anyone else, and that you are not a burden. It's why he understands Omega.

Because he understands what it's like to feel worthless.

Echo despises feeling useless. "The Empire's growing stronger and we're doing nothing about it". It isn't just about what's right, or about preventing the worst from happening, it's also about an inability to sit by the sidelines and prove to everyone that doubted you that you are the waste of space they said you were.

He's someone who will always be driven to do the right thing. But he's also someone who will forever be trying to prove his worth. He can't do nothing because he got belittled for being incompetent. He can't do nothing because if he lets the Empire take over he could be labelled as a traitor. He can't do nothing because Echo doesn't want to be nothing.

It's why he doesn't question Omega. Because he gets it. He's been in her position more than he should have been.

-----------

Now don't get me wrong. This isn't me saying that this is Echo's only driving force. There are so many different layers and reasons to why he does what he does throughout the series, and a lot of that is rooted in the fact that fundamentally, Echo is a good person. He isn't flawless (no-one is) but he is good. However, his past and his trauma will always be an influence in his actions and his constant need to prove himself is a huge factor in that.

[maryhadalittlehobby]

Interview with the Vampire S2E7- Liveblog

I could not prevent it

Why are Claudia and Louis not communicating telepathically. He is screaming out to her not even knowing if she is around. He even says he he didnt know if she was alive but surely telepathically would be better but I guess he is panicking

I love the mutual respect Daniel and Louis have built. Louis says I am talking now and Daniel shuts the hell up. AND APOLOGIZES

God Santiago and his blue eyes shadow are SERVING (looks and injustice!)

Louis says the vampires 'used their collective powers to disorient their minds, their hearing(jaws compressing the skull)' him and Claudia when they tried to speak out. The shaky camera was cool this first time

Claudia looks ok after coming out the rat box is lol, Louis looked more f-ed up

God Madeline is out of it! Sis is on a different planet. What did Santiago do to her?

When I saw their tendons cut in the trailer I started crying, I just knew we were in for it but the trail as a whole wasn't as bloody as I thought it would be

This swelling music introducing Lestat was beautiful. Can't lie it had me smiling

Walk walk fashion baby

Claudia's withering look and Louis look of pain. My heart

That first look that Lestat gives its almost like a marionette very unnatural

He is looking SNATCHED in that pinstripe suit. But also lets talk about the pinstripe because we know LAST season the costume designer said they used stripes when the characters felt imprisoned

Louis face when Lestat says its a story of LOVE. Lestats wet eyes god these two

The Vampire Sam blocking Armands exit. Armands?! Sam?!? If it were Celeste or any of the others we have seen more ferocious or active in the coven anyone might have bought it but SAM lol

Armand told Louis he was held captive and his punishment was to watch ok Jan

I LOVE the animations. Lestat doing a entrechat six into the dirt (that ballet knowledge coming in handy!)

He slept for 100 years saying his only sustenance the ancient blood already inside him. AKASHA??

ugh the look of disdain Lestat gives Santiago for being forced to play long/recite these lines

Be precise in your declarations advocate🤝🏾 we should get ever y detail right

Louis favorite cuss is definitely Fuck lol

I love the irrdecent glint they have added to vampires eyes this season

Eglee scouting her next boyfriend like-oh you put your fist through a skull. Thats hot

Lestat putting bigots in their place. oh no when the worst person alive says something you agree with meme

Claudia standing up for Louis during the trail<3. Yelling at Santiago earlier to stop hurting him, yelling at the crowd for laughing at him. This girl loved her dad ok.

'Louis was deceptively agile with words" AND?! I support him. I said you start it, Louis is gonna end it. Someone on here said you go low and Louis goes straight to hell and its true! Don't play with him and you wont get your feeling hurt. PERIOD

I loved the vampoire lonliness bit but I hated that CGI tear

Not Santiago doing Claudias accent rearding from her diary. lol BITCH

"You do not know this girl!."She is a stranger and Louis knows how turning a stranger feels like now

The over acting! "THE GREAT LAWS FORBID IT" So clear he was trying to paint himself in a great light but we can be relatively certain that lestat did not say this since both Claudia and Louis repeat that Lestat didn't tell them anything regarding laws or even other vampires existence. There would have been more questions if he did

I DO believed he warned him but not to the extent we see and I'm sure Louis didn't bargin himself like that. How could be?

She asked if I was an Angel.Me? oh my poor Saint Louis

Look at her our beautiful little daughter as he drags her half dead body on the floor. ugh??

What is this look that Armand is giving Louis when he says thats how it happened but I didn't think it at the time. I don't trust him at all. IS THAT HOW IT HAPPENED OR IS IT HOW ARMAND WANTS YOU TO THINK IT HAPPENED TO COMPOUND YOUR GUILT ABOUT HER TURNING?

I hate this?! is it all lies??

Holy crap DREAMSTAT!?

Louis slightly shakes his head in agreement when Lestat at first we just slammed each other around the town house. Seven years of compromise, denail it all gave way...The reached a tipping point they drove each other crazy. I can see it happening like Lestat decribes maybe not over the top villain vibes but definitely getting ugly like that. And like someone mentioned in the short chat I was in earlier- Louis is capable of making good on those threats. Look what happened with the alderman, the guy in the cruising park.

I can't believe the fall was not explained away or a mistaken memory like i thought and was absolutely not worthy of forgiveness...but i guess maybe in a fucked up way Louis thought it was penance for withholding admittance of his love even as Lestat begged him in the sky

The apolgy was a little melodramatic and had me thinking it might be in the script but Daniel said it was not on the page, Maybe Sam couldn't rein it in at that moment lol

How fucking sad Claudia's trail isn't even about her. The talks to both Louis and Lestat at multiple points and they don't or barely acknowledge her. Truly a pawn in their fucked up romance

Lestat looked physically sick when Claudia and Louis were pleading to him. You gonna accept my apology. Is this your big revenge. If he could I think he would have stopped it but I think the vamps were controlling him in a way( like they were doing with Claudia and Louis OR its the Sophies choice everyone is quoting. Its Louis or Claudia and he is choosing Louis

Mr I could not prevent it looking around the trail crowd pleased curiosity

I am so happy to proven wrong and Madeline choose Claudia.I was thinking that it might be another bombshell it would be revealed that she was only interested in vampirism. Finally she is 1st

Madeline flipping off the jury. Good girl

Claudia cursing the audience in her final moments on earth. yes girl!

I feel like the look shared between Claudia and Lestat right after was you liked that and his response look was that was quite good.

Oh how I hoped Lestat would at least try to save her..break script again but he almost looks immobilzed-again the vamps?

Claudia's death was horrid with better effects that Louis burn away earlier in the season.Ugh

How fuckin disrespectful they leave their ashes on stage like that. THEY HAVE TO SCATTER THEM!

Wow I can't believe I survived episode 7 with out crying. Definitely some close calls but I didn't.It was unexpectedly funny and Claudia going out like a G! helped a lot. Amazing episode.

[coachbeards]

🧡💔

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

i don't know what would constitute as popular or serious, since i've done a pretty decent job keeping a distance from a lot of the fandom..............................

a theory i didn't like is that michelle was...abusive towards ted? i'm not entirely sure how popular that was here, but i saw it a few times on twitter. and i know it stemmed from hannah one time calling michelle "toxic", but i honestly...didn't see any toxicity? at least prior to season 3 (but even then i think of michelle as a Victim of dr. jacob. yes, she should've told ted, obviously, but the amount of people wishing death on michelle or acting like she's the worst human in the entire series like please be serious right now). like she fell out of love......she was willing to force herself to keep trying.....yes, she pressed ted about the divorce papers, but i mean...it's ted. there's a good chance he was dragging his feet on it, which makes sense, because it's really hard for him to process the fact that the marriage is over. but michelle wanting to get divorced isn't? toxic or abusive in my eyes? idk. i saw people wanting that to be true to further ted/rebecca parallels which i think were a bit,,,, weird.

michelle and ted weren't perfect for each other, nor were they what each other wanted or needed towards the end. but that doesn't make michelle an abuser or a toxic, awful woman.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

okay again like...i'm not sure who constitutes as "major" but.........jane payne. count your days. i would remove her INSTANTLY. or at least heavily alter her character in a way that i would...........like her. i do think that the jane we see in 1x04 is actually pretty good! and i mean that in the way that...they really were just on a date, and she Understandably left because beard was more willing to play chess than be with her. like i get the common theory that jane ended the game right before beard would've won, and i agree with that, but i would've liked it better if she ended it because,,, of beard. and his relationship issues. you know? idk if that makes sense. 1x04 jane was good!!! but i would definitely remove her as a character, since i think they only really introduced her to separate beard from ted, allowing ted space to develop with other characters. (namely at the gala, 1x09 when beard left with jane so ted ran into roy, the christmas episode that i still don't agree with lmao....etc)

but major character? i mean this with so much love in my heart but. i guess beard? AND I MEAN THAT AS A BEARD STAN because i just think they really underdeveloped him as a character at various points. he really doesn't have a lot of development with other characters, we don't really see him coach, we don't see him talk to like half of the main characters, etc. i choose beard because if you remove him........all that really changes is that ted knows less about football. you know?

also i guess zava because like. i can see what he did for jamie's arc, i just felt like he as a character was...................pointless to the overall narrative.

[youngpettyqueen]

alright, thats Picard in the books. what to say about Picard...

overall? I wasn't impressed. the first season had the potential to be intriguing, but failed to live up to that potential and instead felt like it dragged. the second season was stronger, with stronger writing, but was again bogged down by some pretty stupid writing choices. still, I think the second season was the most strongly written. the third and final season was also fairly strong with most of its writing, but unfortunately where it was weak, it was really weak, and made it difficult to enjoy what I thought would be the easiest season to enjoy

the character writing in this show, when it came to the new characters, left a lot to be desired. season 1 was the worst for this, and things improved in season 2, but season 3... it was alright, in season 3, except for Jack. I could go on an entire rant about Jack, but ill spare you. it was just overall not great, the character writing, and it made it difficult for me to get invested in these new characters

Raffi was the best of the bunch of the new characters. her writing was also the best, and she really got to shine. I came around to Agnes in the second season, and enjoyed her. I never, at any point, cared about Rios. his entire thing bogged down season 2. I was glad to see him gone. Laris and her arc turned out to be entirely pointless, which. thats a whole other rant. lmao. Elnor was good, I really liked him, wish we got to see him in s3

I won't go on the Jack rant just know I hate him from a writing standpoint. Shaw was annoying and I didnt care for him. I did, however, quite like Sidney. and I wish we could've seen more of Alandra, we didnt get much so I dont have much of an opinion about her

there were good elements of this show. I enjoyed the focus on Picard letting himself feel, and express his feelings. I enjoyed the callbacks, and some of the cameos were really cool- I loved seeing Wesley, and Guinan, and even Moriarty. there were some good moments of closure, like Data and Lore, and Ro and Picard. I particularly loved Q and his role in the second season. the dynamics and interactions between the original members of the TNG crew were great, there was a lot of love, and I laughed a lot- shoutout to "I hope we die quickly! :D" and every single interaction between Worf and Riker. and, again, Raffi- cannot praise her enough. absolutely loved her, and would love to see more of her

this show could've been something really good. unfortunately it doesnt quite get there. I find it took itself far too seriously, and the writing often felt like a cop out. the changes to established lore were also annoying- trying to make Picard's father out to be more sympathetic, Picard having been infected by the Borg, etc- and felt like they were shoehorned in. I also wasn't a fan of how they kept bringing in more minor characters- Icheb, Hugh, Ro- just to kill them off. felt cheap

overall, im not a fan. I won't be rewatching this series. I wouldnt call it terrible, it has its good moments, but I wouldnt call it good. pulling off a sequel for a 30+ year old beloved series must be difficult, and I wish Picard had hit the mark, but unfortunately it falls short and fails to live up to TNG's legacy

[sheacouleecametoslay]

Season 10 (2018)

So Season 10 starts off like a 9/10.... I truly thought it was going to be one of the best. But, after The Vixen left, the last four episodes are like a 4/10, which drops the average down. The Werk Room/Untucked scenes become boring. "Breastworld" and "Evil Twins" are two of the worst challenges in the show's entire herstory. Especially the latter, which forced the queens to reveal their insecurities on TV, and were put in the bottom if they weren't cruel enough to themselves. Not to mention the cringe worthy editing to make it seem like the Good Twins and Evil Twins were on the stage at the same time. AND SHOWING THE GOOD TWINS WATCHING BACKSTAGE. Really...? Also, Ru is as high as kite during his walkthrough with the social media influencers in the Make Over episode, which is actually unintentionally funny. And then the finale has such disappointing lips syncs compared to Season 9, between Asia's dead butterflies, Aquaria's trip being edit out, and "Bang Bang" being a complete clusterfuck as the top 3 try to outdo each other with their stunts.   The Vixen is responsible for like 90% of the drama this season. She had a major intense fight in 3 different Untucked episodes. First she battled Aquaria, then Eureka, and finally her friends. 9% of the drama comes from Aquaria being conceited and Asia going on random rants. The final 1% is Kalorie and Yuhua having an attitude, but it's minimal and they aren't around for long anyways. The premiere also sets up this pre-season feud between Aquaria and Cracker because they apparently look alike. We've already been there with Alyssa vs Coco, and this "rivalry" didn't amount to much after episode 2. As for the other challenges, PharmaRusical might be the worst Rusical. It was so disappointing they did a second Rusical to make up for it! - the Cher one, and it wasn't much better. The Snatch Game was mostly funny, but Asia and the Vixen playing Beyonce and Blue Ivy, respectively, was rough. Bossy Rossy was a solid challenge, but the adult babies creeped me out. The Last Ball on Earth had some good looks though. And the Drag Con panel was a nice new addition. Plus the mini-challenge where they had to sit on items and identify them was stupid enough to be funny. Season 10 continues this new trend of having a big name celebrity guest judge. This time it's Christina Aguilera, who walks the runway pretending to be Farrah Moan as a fake out. I'm not sure when the trauma stories during the make-up sessions became more prominent, but I definitely noticed them more in Season 10. Probably because Season 10 is when production switched the episode length to 60 minutes (90 with commercials). Say what you will about Season 15 episodes being too short, I never had an issue with Seasons 1-9 being only 40 minutes long. I never felt like I was missing anything important. I get exhausted when I try to binge watch these longer episodes, and there's definitely some filler towards the end of this season. Also, Season 10 has 6 main characters (Aquaria, Eureka, Asia, Monet, the Vixen, and Mo) plus Vanjie being iconic, and the other 7 queens don't stand out as much. The unofficial Lip Sync Assassin title kept changing hands - from Monet to Vixen to Kameron, which was pretty cool. I got sick of all the New York mentions though. And the Double Shantay was such obvious riggory in Eureka's favour. I imagine production planned for Kameron to leave at the final 6 instead, but she slayed the lip sync.

Queens Ranking: 14. Eureka A whole season of Eureka... including a sympathy edit, crying in front of the judges, and bringing up trauma stories when she flopped. Just look at everyone hugging her in episode 2. Furthermore, she acted like the Vixen was the problem, claiming that the Vixen verbally attacked her and disliked her for no reason, while Eureka did nothing wrong. Which was BS. Eureka admitted to Mayhem afterwards that she was testing Vixen's reaction. She then lied to the Vixen about the "y'all"/"you" thing and used abuse trauma to excuse her big personality. She also pressured Kameron to sing and accused Asia of overreacting. She took over in every team challenge. Her confessionals were extra ("...buttholes are clenched", "pussies on fleek"). She thought she was judged at a higher standard. She was oddly defensive about her Make Over. Her friendly supportive chats with everyone felt so phony. She walked off on Untucked because they didn't give her attention. Her comments that the Vixen wants power over others, that Asia was jealous of Cracker, that "[the girls] always second guess every time I'm doing well" rubbed me the wrong way. Eureka came off superior, smug, and condescending. The only time I agreed with her was when the Vixen criticized her Snatch Game. But good for her finding body positivity in the baby challenge. In the competition: Eureka flopped in week 2, when she looked "out of it" during PharmaRusical and didn't know the words. But she became a contender soon after. From the "yeah we know girl" line in the End of Days advert, to playing a baby in Bossy Rossy (whatever), to being the audience favourite in the Drag Con panel ("proportionizing!!"), to her Honey Boo Boo in Snatch Game (even if she kept repeating the drawing pictures joke). She's already done Drag Con so no wonder she won that. But then Eureka was tentative in the Cher Rusical, and the hairdryer bit in "Breastworld" fell flat. I didn't like her Best Drag, Silver Foxy and Good Twin runways either. Glitterific was probably her best one. Also, Eureka just did the splits and high kicks in every single lip sync. And so many outfit reveals in the finale. 13. Dusty Ray Bottoms I don't have much of an opinion on Dusty. She gave me Milk vibes. She always had this creepy smile/eyes. She labelled herself as "dark, glamorous and trashy" with a punk style, but I wasn't into her drag. She thought she would've won PharmaRusical if she wasn't on the losing team. But seemed reasonable when explaining her views on situations in Untucked. Like when she called Aquaria standoffish lol. She also had that gay conversation therapy story. Otherwise, Michelle didn't want Dusty doing the dots on her face all the time, which left her feeling torn about it because it was her signature look. In the competition: Well, I did NOT like the dots on Dusty's face. I didn't like her runways either. Dusty's Drag on a Dime Tin Man outfit looked scrappy. While her Martian outfit didn't follow the theme. Her episode 2 runway wasn't bad though. As for the performance challenges, I thought Dusty was fine in both of them. Not top 3 worthy though. 12. Kameron Michaels Kameron brought a unique aesthetic as a tattooed, masculine, muscled queen. But she's too dry and matter-of-fact for me to care about. She didn't have much screen time in the early episodes either; aside from being labelled "the trade of the season" and mumbling while brainstorming. She was a quiet queen, who was conditioned to not show emotion. Her later moments include: not celebrating prematurely, keeping her desire to win the challenge a secret, and saying being eliminated would've been easier than eliminating someone. Meanwhile Asia/Cracker/Monet acted like Kameron was crazy for saying she was terrible in "Breastworld"... when she clearly was. And they didn't understand why she walked off on Untucked. Kameron is an introvert, so just let her be? She also flipped out at the final 5 Untucked. Otherwise, Kameron was one of Eureka's besties. In the competition: Kameron was the unexpected Lip Sync Assassin, beating the production faves in the endgame. She won the Cher Rusical by focusing on the mannerisms, and she was one of the better ones in Bossy Rossy. But she was too exaggerated in PharmaRusical, she was a dry narrator in the Fibstr advert, and I didn't agree with her "high" placement in the Ball - I thought her Martian look was junky. Her "Breastworld" character had the most annoying whiny voice too. Her Make Over was basic. And I didn't like her Evil Twin outfit. My fave Kameron runways were the elaborate feather one and Silver Foxy. 11. Miz Cracker Cracker had a bigger edit than I remembered. Her confessionals came off too self-controlled - like every word was carefully planned out... or corny ("...not even a partridge in a pear tree!"; "Dr Dill is Jewish!"; "American Horror Story: Cher Edition"). Asia even called her robotic. It's because Cracker came from a sheltered, poor childhood with high expectations. She felt dread in challenges, even talking to herself during one of them. And she was vocal in group chats. She slammed her drink down at the Vixen. She gave a learn to love yourself speech and an appreciate what you have speech on Untucked. She built Monet and Mo up. She hard criticized Eureka's Make Over. She confronted Aquaria about her overconfidence in this very indirect way lol. And she disputed Asia's claims of being used. Also lol at Asia and Mo's reactions to Cracker's name in the premiere. As for the Aquaria copycat thing, I don't believe Cracker intended it. In the competition: Cracker's Pickle character in Bossy Rossy was her best moment, but she became a comedy queen who couldn't excel in comedy challenges. She sounded mean in the Drag Con panel and neutral toned in "Breastworld". Still, she tried something with her Ball looks. Her Make Over was beautiful (she waited so long for that win too). And both of her hair headpiece runways were cool. In the end, Cracker's Evil Twin outfits didn't match and she went soft in the self-critiques, but that challenge was stupid anyways.  10. Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams Kalorie was known as a "twerk queen", but her twerking fell into "one trick pony" territory. She didn't have a ton of content on the actual episodes either, aside from her story about being bullied for her weight. She was quite bitter on Untucked though. In the first one, she was upset that some of the safe girls didn't use as much stuff. She proceeded to criticize Monet and Aquaria's outfits, while throwing Blair under the bus. Then in the second Untucked, she took issue with the group not asking her about her critiques. But she had a sweet goodbye after that at least. In the competition: Kalorie's Drag on a Dime money outfit looked sloppily put together. While in PharmaRusical, her foot slipped off the chair lol. Her second runway was basic too. But she was fun in the first lip sync, where she twerked and pulled out dollar bills into the splits. 9. Mayhem Miller Mayhem was the timid and sensitive one. She waited so long to get on the show, and then she cried on the first Untucked because she finally felt validated. She comforted her bestie Eureka on Untucked. She played peacemaker between Vixen and Eureka after their massive fight. And in her final Untucked, she gave this big speech about being grateful for the opportunity. She was at peace with her growth. That said, I don't agree with Mayhem saying that her voice wasn't heard in the team discussion. Mo gave her an opportunity to claim the narrator role, but Mayhem didn't want to be seen as aggressive. I understand that, but this is a cutthroat competition and being passive won't get you far. Indeed, Kameron snatched that narrator role and Mayhem was left with one line. In the competition: Mayhem was solid with runways. She won the first challenge thanks to her black gloves outfit. I also thought she was the second-best overall in the Ball. Her pink cowgirl runway was cute too. But the acting challenges caused Mayhem's premature downfall. She didn't appear in the Fibstr advert until the very end, where her character was confusing. And she was the most forgettable in Bossy Rossy. But she slayed that "Celebrity Skin" lip sync - it was intense in the best way. 8. Yuhua Hamasaki Yuhua had fun responses during the entrances - "you’re not a real woman either!" Then she couldn't differentiate the black queens.💀In episode 3, she offered bad ideas while brainstorming with Monet, and didn't realize their ad already had a name. Then she snapped at Aquaria and Monet for not letting her use a fake nose, while saying "nobody asked for Aquaria's opinion" in confessional. Monet did sound bossy tbf. She also kept giving excuses to the judges - from saying she had something better during the second runway, to feeling rushed during the advert challenge. She still had one of my favourite entrance looks though. In the competition: Yuhua seemed like a strong competitor at first - with her yellow caution tape ankh and her underrated PharmaRusical performance. But she wasn't funny in the Butterface advert and she misunderstood how to be ugly for it. And then she had to go against Mayhem's impressive lip sync. 7. Blair St. Clair The twinkiest twink to ever twink on Drag Race. Blair had the most UTR edit of the Season 10 cast. She had the "so dot dot dot fill in the blank" confessional, she said "yeah I'm a little sneak attack" in this cute voice, and showed her stats notebook. But her personality was kinda... bland (no offence). She was just happy to be there. When Kalorie threw her under the bus, she avoided the drama and told Aquaria she loved the concept. She was sweet to Mayhem in Mayhem's last Untucked. And she missed her mom a lot, so it was nice when she got that video message. In Blair's final episode, she shared her sex abuse story to the judges. And again on Untucked, where she explained that she needed to be a happier person after that experience. I'm glad she was able to move on from it. In the competition: If PharmaRusical wasn't based on teams, I'd mark Blair as "safe" every single week except the round she left. She's a Broadway queen and can act... but she just wasn't funny. I did like her Drag on a Dime sun protector thing, her Ball looks, plus her Best Drag runway was pretty too. But ultimately, Blair's teammates overran her during the Drag Con panel, when she was trying to moderate. And then she had to lip sync after sharing personal trauma. 6. Monét X Change The narrator of Season 10. Monet had these "high horse" or unaware moments. Particularly in the first Untucked where she thought the judges loved her sponge dress, was surprised that the queens didn't get the concept, defended Cracker to Vixen, told Kalorie "mine looks good and yours doesn't", and said that Kalorie is just bitter. Even after that, she sounded bossy to Yuhua, she acted like Aquaria didn't deserve to win Snatch Game, and she called the Vixen immature and combative. But most of the time, Monet interjected with a congenial approach when there was conflict. Like saying she appreciated the Vixen's realness. And she had fun in confessionals, like she was just hanging out backstage. I also liked her "sweep up the competition" entrance. And she was there for Eureka and Cracker when they needed support. Her English accent story was funny too. In the competition: Monét was Lip Sync Assassin #1. The "nope" wave in "Pound The Alarm" and the hairspray cans and smoking in "Man! I Feel Like A Woman" were fun moments. She wasn't bad in "Good As Hell" either, even breaking a stage light. But, aside from the crossed-eye bit in PharmaRusical, Monét had a rough start. The sponge dress was not couture. The Martian outfit looked unprofessional (the cut; the black marker). That cake bit in Bossy Rossy was confusing. And her neon winter, Denim & Diamonds and Glitterific runways were a mess. She was read for her pussycat wigs too. The sagging boobs runway was creative though. But then Monét found Ru-demption. Her Maya Angelou in Snatch Game was good enough to win. And she had those ad libs in "Breastworld". But of course another design challenge ended her run, with that cheap-looking Make Over. 5. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo "MISS VANJIE... MISS VANJIE... MISS VANJIE" is the most iconic exit line in the show's herstory. It was repeated in practically every episode after. Even without the meme, Vanessa had protentional to be a great TV character. She had this very uhhh... vanjie... way of talking that came off as an authentic personality. She compared RuPaul to the Loch Ness Monster, she said "What the- bitch are we on Big Brother?" when they were de-dragging, and she made a "cleaning crew" comment about Monet's sponges. I loved listening to her talk. So I'm glad Vanjie was given a Shangela-style second chance, even though I haven't watched Season 11 yet. In the competition: Vanjie's Drag on a Dime Barbie doll outfit wasn't in my bottom 3, although her entrance look would be. I get it though - it was like her entire upper body was bloated into a clump of clutter. She held her own against Kalorie in the lip sync though. 4. The Vixen Polarizing but Season 10 is empty without the Vixen. Her entrance line "I'm just here to fight" was right. She immediately called people out, and didn't beat around the bush. She said Cracker "faked it to Season 10", and questioned Monet's pushback over that comment. She exposed Aquaria for acting different to Cracker's face. She clapped back at Aquaria for the borrowed wig remark and the "negative" label. While on Untucked, the Vixen raised an important point about the "angry black woman" stereotype, since Aquaria came for her first and now Aquaria's crying over it. Next, the Vixen tore Eureka to shreds after the "can I go smoke" comment ("you are exactly the girl I did not like on Season 9"); while Eureka made the Vixen look like the aggressor (ugh). Then the Vixen criticized Eureka's Snatch Game performance and called her unprofessional to the judges. But she went too far on Untucked, calling Asia and Mo fake and disloyal for saying she should go home, because friends don't do that. Since the Vixen named Eureka for personal reasons, she assumed everyone else made it personal. She also said she wouldn't let them take away her dream. Finally, in her last Untucked, she called out the non-glitter outfits. The Vixen was passionate about doing bold political drag, and that hurt and anger stayed with her on the show (as she said: "It is impossible being a black gay drag queen in America"). The Vixen refused to change for others; saying you should know how she is, so don't "poke the bear". Otherwise, she paired Eureka and Aquaria to sabotage them. She suggested playing Cracker/Aquaria in the challenge lol. She gave facial reactions at Eureka (the air violin lol). She didn't listen to what roles her teammates wanted in episode 2. And she was supportive to Blair after the sexual assault story. In the competition: The Vixen was Lip Sync Assassin #2. I enjoyed her stunts the first time, but it felt repetitive the second time. She was also the star of PharmaRusical; starting things off with that chair kick. But she really struggled during the middle. Her and Asia were a disastrous duo. She broke character during improv. Blue Ivy in Snatch Game was a bad idea. And she didn't emulate Cher in the second Rusical. Also, her 3 Ball looks could've been executed better. Same with the Drag on a Dime pool noodles. My fave Vixen runways were the peacock, the hats and the glitter construction paper. 3. Aquaria Conceited, self-absorbed, and poised in confessional, but in a non-serious way? "Not only am I great at being myself, but I can also do a stupid silly job of being another great celebrity... catch that?" She delivered some WTF quotes too: "keeping your lip-sync straight, your choreography gay, and your characterization bicurious", "I'm like Gandhi", "I'm the Joan of Arc of this challenge, I'm the martyr to Breastworld", "if you pee clear cheer", the "winning" sport response, and confusing seminary school with semen. And she struggled to form a coherent sentence in the Werk Room. Aquaria was off-putting at times. Like acting unbothered to Cracker's face after sharing the yellow dress story. Acting nasty towards the Vixen for interjecting. And her whole anti-Double Shantay rant because it was unfair to HER (lol at her minimizing the double splits though). Aquaria was portrayed as overconfident, and only caring about her own success. Asia called her unsportsmanlike at one point. But Aquaria made an effort to change after everyone confronted her in episode 3 Untucked. She took the last claimed role for "Breastworld". She had this respecting elders moment. She apologized for the Double Shantay rant. And she was sweet to Asia at the final 4 judging. In the competition: Aquaria delivered unique runways all season - the giant nose rings, the bleeding arrows, the bunny ears, the oil slick mermaid, the glittery angel, and her 3 Ball looks. Her final 4 dress was great too. But Aquaria wasn't just a fashion queen. She stole the scene on the losing team in PharmaRusical. She was underrated as the rival baby in Bossy Rossy. She kept delivering jokes as Melania Trump in Snatch Game. She was a believable robot in "Breastworld". And her Evil Twin sounded evil. Plus she was fierce in the "If" lip sync (from what we saw). The Make Over was the only challenge that Aquaria flopped imo. And Silver Foxy was the only other runway that was a miss, because it didn't match the theme. 2. Asia O'Hara The other narrator of Season 10. Asia's confessionals offered insightful observations on the other queens. She had some funny ones too: ie."And I'm not gonna be no part of it, my teeth were too expensive *smiles*"; "SHE DON'T KNOW THE WORDS"; "I'm not done *puts down drink*". Asia was the mom of the cast, but a brutally honest kind of mom. She clocked Aquaria's anti-Double Shantay rant. She called out Eureka for hounding Kameron to sing. And she had that meaningful conversation with the Vixen. Asia always spoke with this determined conviction. Which sounded harsh when she wasn't "wowed" by Mayhem or when she told the judges that Cracker wasn't a star. At least she apologized for the latter. But lol at her random rants - claiming her team had the harder number, feeling used for helping everyone during the Ball, that her Cher role was set up to fail, that she couldn't get through to Kameron, and hating glitter. Still, Asia threw fun shade ("and your talent is in the bottom 2", "you need to take your make-up up an octave"). I loved her reactions, like during Monet's sponge dress delusions or when Ru slapped her. And she had a sweet moment with Aquaria at the final 4. Also lol at "Girl we don't do that no more ain't you seen the Help?" In the competition: Asia had her highs and lows. Her Drag on a Dime outfit was too much, but she was a stand-out on the losing team in PharmaRusical, and she won the Butterface advert by making faces. But then her first two Ball looks weren't flattering, she was oblivious to the Vixen's cues in Bossy Rossy, she played a hostile Beyonce in Snatch Game, and she forgot her lines in the Cher Rusical. Fortunately Asia recovered in the endgame - playing "Parah Salin" in "Breastworld" and slaying the last two design challenges. She had some of my favourite runways too - the Tweety bird, dandelion, mermaid mask and the glitter clown. But then dead butterflies happened... 1. Mo(nique) Heart The bug eyes. The cartoonish laugh. The screaming whenever shade was thrown. The head/hand movements and voice shifts in confessional to give emphasis to everything. The odd confessionals: "She is gonna give you the ooh ah ah sensation honey", "the kind of trade that will throw you on the wall and you be like 'ohh I think I'm into it'", "America, my face is saying everything you need to know dot com", "Miss Aquafina", "Vixen handed Aquaria her ass in a gift bag gift wrapped there you go Merry Christmas", "RuPaul... thank you... but AHHHH", "I surely picked up them little chicken nuggets honey; dipping sauce; hot mustard", plus her reaction to Monet's English accent thing. She'd often address her confessionals to America too. She mistook giraffe print for brown cow. And she always spoke her mind on Untucked. I agreed with her on Mayhem needing to speak up, and it being fair to say Vixen should go home. Her suspicions of Mayhem throwing her under the bus were correct too! Her "pray the gay away" coming out story was memorable too. In the competition: I'm shocked at Mo having ONE high placement (for the wig snatching in Bossy Rossy). Her Drag on a Dime playing cards outfit was the best. She was funny in the Fibstr advert. She was only bottom 3 in PharmaRusical by default. And she was the funniest in the Drag Con panel. I'm not shocked at Mo's Ball outfits being basic though. She made all her outfits in the Werk Room due to lack of money. Her hats runway was also rough, but I liked the Cookie Monster one. Ultimately, Mo didn't have much depth as Maxine Waters in Snatch Game ("reclaiming my time!") and broke character. And then she forgot the words to the lip sync and took her wig off. Favourite entrance look: Aquaria Challenge ranking: 1. The Last Ball on Earth 2. Snatch Game 3. Drag on a Dime (Design) 4. The Bossy Rossy Show (Improv) 5. "American" Ru-mix (Asia > Aquaria > Kameron > Eureka) 6. Dating App Adverts 7. Drag Con Panel (Branding) 8. Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical 9. Social media kings Make Over 10. PharmaRusical 11. "Breastworld" (Acting) 12. Evil Twins Lip Sync ranking: 1. Monét X Change vs Dusty Ray Bottoms ("Pound The Alarm") 2. Mayhem Miller vs Yuhua Hamasaki ("Celebrity Skin") 3. Eureka vs Kameron Michaels ("New Attitude") (Kameron won this btw) 4. Kameron Michaels vs Monét X Change ("Good As Hell") (should've been the double shantay) 5. Blair St. Clair vs The Vixen ("I'm Coming Out") 6. Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams vs Vanessa Vanjie Mateo ("Ain't No Other Man") 7. Asia O'Hara vs The Vixen ("Groove Is In The Heart") 8. Mayhem Miller vs Monét X Change ("Man! I Feel Like a Woman") (I'd like this more if Monet left her outfit and wig on) 9. Aquaria vs Eureka ("If") 10. Eureka vs Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams ("Best Of My Love") 11. Aquaria vs Eureka vs Kameron Michaels ("Bang Bang") (so chaotic) 12. Top 4 Lip Sync ("Call Me Mother") 13. Kameron Michaels vs Miz Cracker ("Nasty Girl") (I remember nothing about it) 14. Mo(nique) Heart vs The Vixen ("Cut To The Feeling") (second-hand embarrassment part 1) 15. Asia O'Hara vs Kameron Michaels ("Nasty") (second-hand embarrassment part 2) Season ranking so far: 9 > 5 > 6 > AS2 > 4 > 10 > 2 > 7 > AS3 > 3 > 8 > 1 > AS1

[3gremlins]

so we finished season 3 of picard and it was just...so bad??!? ( bigger spoilers below)

it felt like the writers didn't even watch season 2 and therefore just did a worse version of s2 with the borg stuff (which is sad b/c the s2 agnes/borg queen stuff was really interesting! i would have loved to see that develop further. even if i didn't really like s2 that much it was still better than s3). idk it was just a boring retread of stuff they'd already covered in s1-2. Even the stinger at the end of the season was such a boring reveal b/c we just had a whole season with kinda boring Q hijinks (time travel shouldn't be boring AND YET. s2 gave real fringe s5 vibes T.T)

worf was still the best part tho, like spinoff with worf pls (riker and geordi can come. honestly everyone but picard and jack can come b/c everyone else is vastly more interesting).

honestly the biggest issue i have with the show is it doesn't seem to know what it is or who it is for (is it picard having a 2nd life with new people and experiencing new things? is it a nostalgia driven look at these characters as they age? does it want to invite in new viewers or is it for old fans?) and it keeps trying to split the difference and fail at both.

especially when you compare it to Strange New Worlds and Discovery which are fun and innovative w/the ip, it feels so clunky and dull. Anyway s1-2 are okay/fine (they have some good moments where you're like "oh maybe?" but a lot of times they repeat narrative devices like "in media res" and "i bet you're wondering how i got here" that drag it down) but s3 is just not good.

The whole "secret picard kid" thing felt kinda flat too since it was just a boring version of his arc with Elnor, superior adopted son (who was mysteriously never mentioned in s3 along with Seven/Raffi's relationship being reduced significantly...guess it got too gay :c )

also the whole "fuck them kids" plot device that felt like it was designed appeal to boomer audiences was just real weird and forced like i'm sorry but there's got to be a better way to just have your old dog crew w/o just fridging all your new characters* anyway don't really recommend, if you finished SNW and Discovery and are jonesing for more ST, i'd maybe just watch those again lol (or watch ds9/voyager instead of this)

(still loved worf tho, worf is best. the times where worf is offscreen are the worst)

*i also have questions about the non-human crew mates like romulans are much longer lived than humans and so are several other species so would they even mature at the same rate/be subject to the same issues as the human ones (it felt like they were kinda arbitrary with it like, these characters are played by actors under 25 therefore it counts)

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Matt Murdock’s child (Part 1)

Matt Murdock x child!reader

warnings: teen!dad matt. it’s not portrayed as like, a weird or horrible thing, it’s more of a growing up together type of deal. also blood, injury, death, alcohol AND there is a mention of the SA that made matt become daredevil (i put a tw in red right before it’s discussed and a couple red dots where it ends)

a/n: this gonna sound weird but the humor in this gives me the same vibes as me and my own dad’s humor. ALSO im cutting this off after season 1 because it got REALLY LONG

prompt:

part 2 part 3 part 4

matt wanted you to have a more stable life than him

which was a little hard considering when became a dad

by the time he went to law school, you were about 8

“is this room 312?” -matt

“yeah, who you looking for..? oh, sorry” -foggy

you dragged in your tiny suitcase behind him

“blind and a single dad? you’re getting all the ladies, aren’t you?” -foggy “how did you even manage to get a kid in here?”

“special arrangements were made, i’m quite persuasive. good thing i’m in law school” -matt

one time, your dad revealed (without much cause for worry) that he “always knows when you are lying” because he can “hear your heartbeat” and instead of that being a cute little motivation for you to always be honest, you literally spent months training yourself to outmaneuver him and you can pass just about any lie detector test. now he just has to take your word for things

being a little shit

“you smell really bad, foggy” -you

“that’s a little harsh…nevermind, thanks for letting me know” -foggy, sniffing himself

matt definitely didn’t want you to fight or be vigorously trained, but he did teach you a few moves because, well. they could help

he also got you some karate lessons to keep you occupied while he had class or internship stuff when you were done with school (which you loved to show off when you got home)

basically abusing foggy (but you were widdle so it wasn’t too serious)

“matt, can you ask your gremlin to stop kicking me?” -foggy

“y/n, stop kicking foggy” -matt

“never!” -you

“that’s it!” -foggy, throwing you over his shoulder

don’t get me wrong, foggy grew to love you, he was family for sure

you cant really draw anything for your dad so all of your masterpieces started going to “uncle foggy”

but when you made stuff out of clay or something…those ones went to your dad

“oh, thank you! is it…a dragon?” -matt, feeling the details

“it is a dragon, do you like it?” -you

“i love it” -matt

“how come i don’t get a dragon?” -foggy, pouting

“because your eyeballs work” -you, using your fingers to stretch your eyelids wide open

eventually, matt and foggy graduated and you moved back to hell’s kitchen, where things got…crazy.

by then you were about 13 or so, so much more experience in being the worst (jk your dad loves you)

*you, trying to sneak a beer without even having your hand on the bottle yet*

“absolutely not, don’t even think about it” -matt

“blindness gave you omnipotence? ugh, you suck” -you

“then you half-suck. it’s hereditary” -matt

matt being REALLY worried about you in hell’s kitchen, but you insisted you’d be perfectly fine walking back and forth from your bus stop

he got u a taser

that was just a horrible idea you love the sound of the zaps

foggy felt threatened

it wasn’t very long before your dad turned to vigilantism, and it wasn’t very hard for you to figure it out

“what’s up with the mask, dad?” -you

“what, uh, what are you talking about?” -matt

“did you think i was actually asleep on the couch last night? are you crazy?” -you

you happened to have an uncomfortable tether on reality that happened somewhere down the line

and your dad knew he could be real with you, but he hated to be. he really did

matt didn’t exactly love growing up in his “reality,” he wanted things to be so much sweeter for you

but coming home bloody and bruised every night wouldn’t make your life any sweeter

in a way, you did think your dad was awesome and kind of badass, but he was literally all you had and from the stories he told you, you could fall into the same boat any day now

“holy shit, are you…are you okay?” -you

“what’d we talk about with your language?” -matt, very injured

“what’d we talk about with your ass getting beaten?” -you, grabbing the med supplies

you reminding your dad of a young him fixing up his own dad after fights.

he didn’t know if that was good or bad

hanging out at nelson and murdock after school

“didn’t say you could drink coffee either” -matt

“you’d think with a blind dad i’d have an easier time sneaking around but noooo” -you

you and him had a great sense of humor

“his greatest accident was me” -you

*karen nearly spitting out her coffee*

“his worst accident was meeting my mom, though” -you “it ties with being blind”

oh yes your favorite joke was definitely the “i was a mistake” one and you milked it frequently, matt got in on the action too

“the teacher said i made a grammar mistake” -you

“i made a mistake once…you” -matt

oh and you both milked the hell out of the blind thing

“every time i look at you—” -you, trying to sass him

“every time i look at you i can’t see” -matt

oh and then

“actually, i’m the reason he’s blind. that’s what you get when you lay you eyes on the most beautiful baby to ever exist” -you

“you were an ugly baby, i literally felt it” -matt

it’s actually a birthday tradition for him to touch your face and “see how much you’ve grown”

“oh, a new pimple!” -matt

“alright, that’s enough from you” -you, laughing

karen and you having a pretty sick friendship (she likes when you tell embarrassing stories about matt and foggy)

“and then foggy threw up and—” -you

“why don’t i get you some coffee, y/n?” -foggy, wheeling your rolling chair far, far away

knowing more than you should, about life and the city. especially the fisk dealings

which kind of freaked you out, especially when death and destruction became more and more common

“dad? please be careful out there. you’re all i’ve got” -you

“i know…just stay put for now. please” -matt

he makes breakfast for you on special days. or when he needs to say sorry for coming home at 4am with intense injuries you have to care for

“i made waffles…” -matt

“i’m still mad at you” -you

“can you be mad at me while you eat the waffles?” -matt

claire thought you were pretty neat

loved your attitude and all

“met your kid on my way in, real character” -claire

“oh…god. what did they say?” -matt

“‘please identify your relationship to my father. friend or booty call’” -claire

“and your answer?” -matt

“the former, of course” -claire

every once in a while, your voice would boom through whatever room you found yourself in, yelling:

“en garde!” -you

“y/n, put down my walking cane” -matt

“you will have to earn it in combat!” -you

if you were in front of foggy or karen or anyone else, he’d just laugh while you poked him

but if you were home alone…

“oh, it’s on!” -matt

obviously, you both knew you couldn’t quite best him, but you could get a few hits and blocks in, for sure. and he always took it easy on you

“do you yield?” -you, poking him in the stomach

“i yield, oh no, how ever will i be able to walk the streets of new york without my cane” -matt, completely monotone

feeling bad that you keep hiding matt’s secret, especially from foggy. like, especially from him

but saying the darnedest things to throw them off the trail

“how do we know that the man in black isn’t johnny cash, hm? i’d like to know…when the man comes around” -you

“what the hell?” -acceptable answer from anyone

whenever matt goes out for any endeavor, whether masked or merriment, you always get the same trusting warning. no really, he trusted you on your own

“be good” -matt

“no” -you

other acceptable answers include: “absolutely not” “you wish” “‘good’ is a point of view” “that’s subjective” “if all your beer is gone, someone robbed us” “i’d throw a party if i had friends” “will you?” “yeah, right” “oh, okay, i’ll try that” “well, i was planning a murder tonight, but just because you said that—” “if i’m not, minors still get lighter sentencing, and i know a good lawyer. you know, at landman and zack”

matt doesn’t push his religion on you. he encourages religious debates if you have any. if you do, he steers you clear of the church. if you don’t, maybe you go to a service every once in a while.

“that’s not very catholic of you” -you, every time matt does something “bad”

working out with him at fogwell’s gym (when he’s not a complete and utter mess)

punching bags are your jam

every once in a while, he’ll teach you something new

sometimes, you get real with him

“do you ever like, put on that outfit or get the shit beat out of you and think ‘wow, maybe i am crazy for doing this?’” -you

“why, because im blind?” -matt

“because you’re a father” -you

when foggy found out, he was pretty mad at matt. but he didn’t know how to feel with you

you were a kid, matt’s kid, but he was family to you, he was devastated you didn’t share

a/n: this is where SA is talked about, there will be a line of red dots where it ends and the font goes back to normal size (also keep in mind that the hypothetical situation that y/n explains does not automatically imply reader is fem)

you decided to go after foggy on your own and talk to him since matt had revealed the injustice that set him down his path, the abused girl down the street

“foggy, you have to understand—especially as a lawyer—that the legal system doesn’t always work. dad did what he needed to do” -you

“i’m not saying i don’t understand that, but it’s matt. your dad, matt. my best friend, matt. he’s getting his shit rocked every night because of some domino effect?” -foggy

“foggy, do you blame him for going after some sick and twisted father for doing that to his daughter? what if it were me, foggy? what if you were put in his shoes and you found out that was happening to me?” -you

“dont—please don’t go there. that—it doesn’t—” -foggy

“he figured out he could do more than just that. do you think i’m not afraid of losing my father? i absolutely am, but he’s not easily stopped or slowed down. believe me, i’ve tried” -you

••••••

“well, why didn’t you just tell me?” -foggy

“uh because snitches get stitches” -you

“w-what?! no, no. crazy guys who run around in their pajamas get stitches! there’s one laying on your couch!! snitches get deals, you should know this!!” -foggy, very urgently slamming his hand in the other

going back to your dad like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “i did my best”

putting stickers where they dont belong (3D/puffy stickers for matt)

getting frequent calls from foggy when matt is late to work

“foggy, i’m at school! what??” -you

“did matt come home last night?” -foggy

“don’t know, i didn’t check” -you

“you didn’t check to see if your dad was still alive?!?” -foggy

“well, sorr-y, i was under the assumption he was a big boy who could take care of himself” -you

“well, he’s not!!!” -foggy

kinda being the awkward “middle man”/messenger for foggy and matt while they fight

“foggy asked me to ask you to…hold on” -you, uncrinkling paper “‘go fuck yourself, you selfish, blind asshole.’ okay, i was mistaken. it was not a question”

as stresses from the city, your dad, foggy, school, and then some really started setting in, your hardened, sheltered emotions started surfacing for the first time in a long time, shocking many

but matt was there to hold you when you cried

and foggy, too

and even karen. and she always asks about you when you’re not around.

when fisk was brought to justice (or so it seemed), celebration at the office was called for…and foggy snuck you some alcohol

“don’t tell your dad, you swear?” -foggy

“y/n, were you…drinking?” -matt, 5 mins later when karen left the room

“shit, i forgot about your freaky sense of smell” -you

“alright, kiddo, wrap it up. let’s get you home before ‘uncle foggy’ sneaks you anymore alcohol. shame on you, franklin” -matt

“i know, i’m the worst” -foggy

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot-recs // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @popeheywardssecretgf // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @zoeyserpentluck // @wild-rose-35 // @confessions-of-a-adhd-teen // @itachisdangos // @nekoannie-chan // @punk-rock-raven //

[teddy06writes]

Can I request a Sapnap x Karl x Quakity x Y/N ? I just like polyam ships and your Sapnap x Karl x Y/n just made me want more

Ee hee, thanks for the request

Sapnap x karl x reader x quackity (THE PEOPLE ARE ENABLING MEEEE)

trigger warnings: swearing, panic attack

premise: you and your boyfriends are out shopping/ trying to get kicked out of a target when you run into your asshole ex, when he starts to bother you your boys take care of it

(y/n/n)- your nick name

(also we’re pretending covid isn’t a thing)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“(y/n)! We are gods!”  

You turned at Alex’s call, snorting upon seeing he and Karl T posing while standing in the target cart, Nick balanced on the front, also t posing.

You laughed at your boyfriends, quickly taking a picture before Karl started to wobble and fall, “You guys are ridiculous.”

“Yup!” Karl grinned as Alex helped him out of the cart to avoid falling.

You shook your head, quietly putting the picture onto your twitter with the caption, ‘look at these nerds <3′

“You guys are gonna die from idiocy some day.”

“Not when your there to save us.” Nick countered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“If anything they’ll get dragged down with us.” Alex scoffed.

“Tragically,” You muttered, “Did we actually come here to do anything but solicit?”

Karl giggled, “Well I thought we were just terrorizing the people of Target.”

“The only thing we actually needed was more notecards.” Nick reminded helpfully.

You smiled, “At least one of you is useful.”

“Hey!” Alex protested, “We’re useful too!”

“Sometimes.”  Karl giggled again.

“Betrayal!” He gasped dramatically as Karl threw his arms around his shoulders.

You rolled your eyes, “Well, if your useful too then, help me find notecards.”

Alex sighed dramatically, grabbing one your your hands and intertwining your fingers, “If we must.”

Karl grinned, hopping back to sit in the cart, “Lets go then!”

Nick rolled his eyes, muttering something about being ridiculous, before moving to the push the cart, you and Alex moving along beside them.

~~

A half hour later found many random unnecessary but still necessary items piled into the cart around Karl, and note cards had still not been found.

You were hallway through the seasonal section when you sighed, “Alright this is taking too long, I’m going to actually get the note cards, I think they’re just down there, try not to break anything.”

Karl chuckled, “No promises.”

You smiled and headed out of the isle, towards office supplies.

“Well, well, well, (y/n), fancy seeing you here.”

You froze in the middle of grabbing the biggest package of notecards, trying to keep your hand still as you turned, “John,,, uh hi?”

Now, John wasn’t the worst person, no your relationship wasn’t necessarily bad, but towards the end it definitely took a turn for the worse. When you’d first brought up breaking things off he was, less than thrilled, leaving the last few weeks of your relationship a battle field of screaming matches that consisted of little more than his yells.

“It’s been a while.” He smiled.

“Uhh, yeah, it has been.” You began to fidget with your fingers, eyes darting back up the isle towards where you’d left Nick, Alex and Karl.

“Let me guess, still single?” He laughed, “Yeah it would make sense, I’ve only pulled like one person since you.”

You glanced down, “Uhh, no actually.”

John frowned, letting acid drip into his voice, “Oh, I guess the were right when they said you always moved on fast.”

“It- it- it- it’s been a year and a half?” Your attempts to keep your voce steady began to fail, “And, I’ve only been dating one of them for a few months.”

-It was true, Alex had been the last one to join your relationship a few months ago-

His eyes narrowed, “You’re not telling me you’re still on the stupid polyamory thing are you?”

You cleared your throat uncertainly, “um, y- yeah, I have three boyfriends.”

He rolled his eyes, “There's no chance you’d ever fucking pull three people. Hell you barley even managed me.”

Your gaze stayed trained on the tile floor, unspeaking.

“It’s clear you haven’t moved past fucking your way into a relationship.”

You bit your lip, tears welling in your eyes as your breathing quickened, deep down you knew it wasn’t true, as a group you all respected Karl’s asexuality, even once, over some late night conversation of cuddles and lazily traded kisses, going so far as to promise that the relationship would remain entirely romantic if it made him more comfortable, and it had.

Still, there was a nagging in the back of your head, telling you that John was right. There obviously was only one reason they kept  you around.

“That really is a shame,” You felt his hand rest on your shoulder, “I know I would stay with you for more than that.”

“Get your fucking hand off of them or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!”

You were simultaneously relieved and flooded with more anxiety upon hearing Nick’s voice.

“Who are you?” John asked skeptically.

“Their boyfriends, who the fuck are you?” Alex spit.

He laughed, dry and harsh, “So you’re the fucking idols who thought you could get away with dating (y/n), not that I care their very-”

“No, you shut the fuck up!” Nick cut him off before he could say anything else advancing up the isle towards him, “Why the fuck are you bothering them?!”

They continued a back and forth exchange, as you slowly slid down to the floor, nails pressing tightly into your palms, breathing far too fast.

“Hey, hey, (y/n/n), (y/n/n) look at me.”

You opened eyes that you didn’t realize had been screwed shut to see Karl kneeling sitting In front of you, looking worried.

“Can I touch you or no darlin?” He asked softly, almost making you forget the yelling happening only a few feet away.

You bit your lip, quickly shaking your head, the tiny seed of doubt John had planted in your mind starting to grow.

“Okay, that’s fine. Can you breath with me? In for seven, hold for 4 out for 8, yeah?”

After a moment of trying to breath in sync with him, you held out a hand, and understanding Karl took it, moving to pull you into his arms, “In for 7, out for 8, just like me alright?”

You all but melted into his touch, doing your best to breath normally again.

“Get the fuck outta here man!” Alex yelled.

“You’re gonna regret this.” John sneered.

“No,” Nick said firmly, “Your gonna regret messing with our partner if you don’t fucking leave.”

After you heard footsteps hurrying away you felt Alex settle on your other side, “You alright baby?”

“Their starting to breath normally again.” Karl reported, running a hand through your hair.

Nick sat down on Karl’s other side, and you all stayed sat on the floor of the offices supply isle, Alex sending death glares to anyone who tried to ask you to move.

Eventually you sat up, sniffing.

“Who was that?” Nick asked softly.

“My ex.” You murmured.

“Why was he bothering you? What did he say?”

“Stupid stuff,” You muttered, rubbing at your eyes, “C’n we go home now?”

“Of course Darlin.” Karl assured, standing up and turning to help you up.

~~

Later, back at the apartment, after everything had been put away, you all ended up in a cuddle plie on the couch, and that seed of doubt was beginning to shrivel with every pass Nick’s hands made through your hair, every small circle Alex absently traced into your palm and every tiny joke Karl made about the movie playing.

“Guys?” You asked softly.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

“I love you.”

Karl grinned, “We love you too.”

Alex pressed a kiss to your knuckles in understanding and Nick  hummed in response.

The tiny seed of doubt was gone.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Raise the Barre (Epilogue)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Creative Contributor: @baebae-goodnight​ for the last Raise the Barre moodboard TT she nailed it

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: sexual content. Dry humping, fingering, hand job, oral (female), breast play, multiple orgasms, Jimin gets turned on by making someone else come, dirty talk. Jimin’s pants are tight.

Word Count: 13,409

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  

“And… more pointe shoes,” you said, opening the box in your lap. “Wow. Thanks, mom and dad.”

Your dad laughed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “You’re welcome, kiddo,” he said, nodding from the couch. “I know Russet gives you some already, but you can never have too many.”

“Out of curiosity.” You glanced at the tree. “Are there any boxes from you which aren’t related to dance?”

“Not related to dance…” Your mom pretended to think. “I don’t understand.”

“Mom!”

She laughed. “I’m kidding! Yes, there are other presents. You just happened to pick all the pointe shoe boxes first.”

Shaking your head, you placed the box aside. You smiled though, warmth in your chest at being home for the holidays. Classes at Russet had ended a week prior and it had been nice for a few days to simply relax. Already though, you found yourself itching to return to the city. It was strange to wake every morning and not head to ballet. It was even stranger to take classes at your old studio, trying to stay in shape before second semester began.

Playing with the string of your sweatpants, you couldn’t help glancing at your phone on the couch. It had been several days since you’d last seen Jimin in person. Oddly enough, the separation had been harder than you’d thought it would be.

Immediately after ending things with Finn, you and Jimin had tried to keep your distance. The pain of your separation had been too fresh to even consider dating someone else but, as time had gone on, you and Jimin had started becoming friends again.

It was hard not to be, with Jimin continuing as your dance partner and classmate. At the end of the semester, you’d had the opportunity to switch partners, but you and Jimin had chosen the status quo. It just made sense this way; you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d trust as much as him.

At first, things between you were strictly professional. You saw him only within the confines of the dance studio but eventually, his presence bled into your normal life. At first, the outings were small. Jimin went to a pregame you also attended. He saw you once at the coffee shop and, instead of running away, he stopped to chat. One time, he walked you back to your dorm.

When the month became December, you found your outlook improving. Most of November had been spent wallowing in your dorm, but the holiday season brought with it endless activities. The very first weekend of the month, a bunch of your Russet friends decided to go ice skating and you’d ended up tagging along.

The biggest problem had been you’d never ice skated before. Noelle had been patient, skating backwards in front of you and dragging you around the rink. Jimin had done the same thing for Hoseok, who was in a similar predicament to yours, and at some point, they swapped partners and left you skating with Jimin.

When he’d taken over for Noelle, your stomach had swooped. Hands touching, he’d led you gently around the edge and the world had seemed to still. It had been the first time you’d felt anything stir outside of your break-up. Whatever hurt and distance had sprung between you, it seemed something had survived between you and Jimin.

Nose red, Jimin had smiled as he skated backwards. “It’s easy,” he’d told you. “You just swivel, Y/N. In and out, in and out. Got it?”

“Um, no!” you’d yelped, nearly crashing to the ice when Jimin let go of your hands.

He’d laughed, catching you easily and skating like that for a while. Eventually, Jimin had helped you off the rink and gotten hot chocolate, which you insisted on buying. Payback, you said, for the impromptu skating lessons.

That day had been a turning point for you both. Throughout the month prior, you’d texted sporadically but after, you seemed to talk every day.

Jimin even offered to drive you home from Russet, given the fact that your hometowns were so close together. After much hemming and hawing, you’d eventually taken him up on the offer. The savings it gave your bleeding bank account were well-worth the potential discomfort.

This had led to both the best and worst twenty-four hours of your life.

Best, because Jimin was an excellent road trip companion. He let you choose the music, laughed at all your dumb jokes, and agreed to play the road trip games you suggested. You’d already made a firm rule not to compare Jimin to any past boyfriends but couldn’t help but note this as an improvement over anyone prior.

The sole reason the twenty-four hours were also painful was because you stopped at a hotel halfway through. It was either this or drive until 3:00 AM, so you chose the smarter option and rested for the night. You and Jimin bought separate bedrooms, but they’d ended up next to one another, so you’d been forced to spend a sleepless night imagining Jimin separated from you only by a thin sheet of plywood.

You had told yourself this was silly. At Russet, Jimin hadn’t been much further away, but something about the closeness in the hotel made you nervous. It was infinitely easier to forget about boundaries when you were separated by only a car console for hours at a time. Infinitely easier to forget the rules when you were outside of Russet, cocooned by his car and the snow.

You couldn’t help but think about the one kiss you’d shared.

That had only been a taste, barely a teaser, but the memory kept you awake for more nights than it probably should have. You couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to kiss Jimin again, under different circumstances.

Groaning, you’d covered your face with a pillow that night and tried your best to sleep. It hadn’t really worked, and you’d shown up at the car the next morning with dark shadows beneath your eyes.

Forcing yourself back to the present, you glanced away from your phone and focused on the tree – only to see its screen light up in your peripheral. Grabbing your phone, you realized Jimin had texted. Stifling a smile, you scrolled through the conversation until you found his last message.

Jimin: MERRY CHRISTMAS! [10:23 AM]

Jimin: 

Y/N: oh my god everything’s so... coordinated lol how long did that tree take to set up?  [10:24 AM]

Y/N: and merry Christmas 😊  [10:24 AM]

Jimin: not long at all. I just googled ‘christmas trees’ and that was the first one I found  [10:24 AM]

Y/N: ha ha hilarious  [10:25 AM]

Y/N: so, what are the Park family plans for the day?  [10:25 AM]

Jimin: the usual. Opening presents, going to my grandparents later for dinner. What about you?  [10:25 AM]

Y/N: same, minus the grandparents. We usually have a pretty low-key day  [10:26 AM]

Jimin: sounds nice  [10:26 AM]

Jimin: what’s your favorite present so far  [10:27 AM]

Y/N: 

Jimin: LOL  [10:30 AM]

Jimin: how many of them did you get? I’ve gotten two new dance bags and seven pairs of black leggings. It’s like our parents have forgotten we do anything else  [10:31 AM]

Y/N: no new dance belts? 😈  [10:32 AM]

Jimin: Y/N, I’m shocked  [10:35 AM]

Jimin: mind out of the gutter. Stop thinking about my junk  [10:35 AM]

Y/N: as your dance partner, I have a vested interest in your junk. What if it breaks free in the middle of practice?  [10:38 AM]

Jimin: the more delicate ladies would faint, I imagine  [10:41 AM]

Jimin: and probably Paulo  [10:41 AM]

Y/N: lmao  [10:43 AM]

Y/N: but seriously, I hope you get presents other than dance gear  [10:43 AM]

Jimin: back at you haha  [10:47 AM]

Y/N: I can’t help but notice you didn’t get me, your dance partner, a Christmas gift though  [10:50 AM]

Jimin: was the drive home not enough?  [10:50 AM]

Y/N: oh, shoot. You’re right! You did get me a Christmas gift  [10:51 AM]

Y/N: I’m the one who’s been remiss  [10:51 AM]

Jimin: don’t forget about my housewarming gift, too  [10:52 AM]

You smiled, sitting back on the sofa. Jimin was lucky enough to be moving off campus second semester. He, Hoseok and Alex Wong were moving into an apartment not far from Paulo’s. You and Noelle had decided to stay in Grace Hall, but you’d talked about moving someplace else next year.

Jimin was heading back early to move into his new place, so you’d need a different ride on your return trip to Russet. Still, you were looking forward to Jimin’s apartment hosting parties in the new year.

Y/N: don’t get greedy on me now, Park  [10:54 AM]

“Who’re you texting?”

Jerking your head up from the screen, you nearly dropped your phone. From the couch opposite, your mom gave you a knowing look.

“No one,” you said hastily, setting your phone aside.

“Oh, really?” She glanced with your dad. “No one wouldn’t happen to have dark hair, his own car and excellent table manners, would he?”

Immediately, you felt your face heat.

When Jimin drove you home before Christmas, your parents had insisted on feeding him before he continued to Harleigh Heights. This had led to the weirdest double date of your life – which was, in fact, not a date – including you, Jimin and your parents for dinner. Luckily, your parents had been great and Jimin hadn’t cared, but you’d been endlessly mortified for your first date with Jimin to have included your parents.

Not that you’d called it a date. When Jimin had left that night, you’d brushed it aside and he’d simply gone along with it. After Jimin had left, you’d gone to your room and wondered what the hell you were doing. It was clear you still liked Jimin and wanted to be more than just friends. Still, something continued to hold you back.

You weren’t sure when it was considered appropriate to move on. The line seemed fuzzy, so you hadn’t dared cross it and Jimin hadn’t asked. You got the feeling you needed to be the one to make the first move – which made sense. You’d been the one who asked for more time. You’d told Jimin you’d say when you were ready.

Any next steps would have to come from you.

It had been weird to go home and not see Finn. His house was only fifteen minutes away from yours – you’d driven past it on your way to the grocery store last week. Still, seeing his home hadn’t caused the pain you’d expected. It was strange not to see him, but more like you’d forgotten something you needed to do, as opposed to missing his actual presence.

If you were being honest, Finn had crossed your mind less and less lately. Possibly because you’d been falling out of love with him long before you’d broken up in November.

Still, it would be unfair to jump into something before you were ready. You’d already hurt Jimin once this past fall and were determined not to do so again. No matter how good things had been lately between you, you didn’t want to make the mistake of dating Jimin too soon.

Despite this, things had become flirtier between you as of late. Exhibit A: casual text conversations about Park Jimin’s junk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said lightly.

Your dad laughed as he stood from the couch. “Alright, then,” he said, grabbing another gift. “How about you open this one next?”

Accepting the thin package he handed over, you frowned. The box wasn’t large and, shaking it slowly, you heard no sliding inside.

“I swear,” you said as you began to undo the bow. “If you wrapped your passport photo again, dad...”

Laughing, he settled back on the couch by your mom. “It’s not that, I promise.”

Grumbling, you opened the box and immediately froze. Staring at the paper inside, you slowly looked up. “Is this… is this what I think it is?”

“It’s a plane flight,” your mom said with a smile. “I know we’re supposed to drive you back on the third, but we thought you might want to celebrate New Year’s with your friends.”

“But…” Speechless, you returned to the box. “We always hang out together on New Year’s Eve.”

“I know,” said your dad. “But maybe it’s time to start some new traditions, kiddo.”

With that, he stood and took his mug to the kitchen. Sensing he wasn’t needed for this conversation any longer, he began washing dishes and to prepare breakfast. Once he was gone, your mom moved to your couch and settled beside you.

“I… this is too much,” you said, immediately backpedaling.

“It’s not.”

“Well…” Hesitant, you considered the possibilities. “I guess Ari will be in the city for New Year’s Eve. Maybe Noelle, too. She mentioned she might go back early.”

Gently, your mom smiled. “That’s great if you want to hang out with them, but… didn’t Jimin mention going back before New Year’s?”

Startled, you glanced up. You were surprised she’d remembered. Jimin had mentioned it briefly at dinner last week – he’d said he was moving off campus, which was why he’d needed to return home to pack.

“I – he might have,” you said cautiously.

“I see.” She paused. “I just… I don’t want you feeling like you need to hold yourself back, honey.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Your mom glanced meaningfully at your phone. “I’m glad you’re taking time to yourself,” she said slowly. “It’s important to know who you are and what you want. But also – don’t feel like you need to follow someone else’s timeline when it comes to moving on.”

“I know, but…” You trailed off. “We only broke up in November.”

She shrugged. “Only you know when you’re ready, honey. I just don’t want you to keep punishing yourself for something that’s over. You’re allowed to be happy, even if you’ve messed up in the past.”

Swallowing, you glanced again at the gift. The plane ticket was for the day before New Year’s Eve. Plucking it from the box, you sat back on the couch.

“But…” you said lowly. “Mom, it’s only been two months.”

“And are you still in love with Finn?”

“No.”

“And did you learn anything from what happened this fall?”

“I… Yes. A lot.”

“Good.” Reaching out, she squeezed your hand. “Learn the lessons you need to learn, and then move on. Self-flagellation isn’t productive, Y/N.”

You nodded, still uncertain about what she was saying. Her words made sense, but everything she was saying uncovered a dormant fear. You were scared. Scared of hurting someone else, scared of being hurt by someone else in return. Your last relationship had ended so badly, it was hard to convince yourself it might be worth it to try again.

Finally, you turned to face her on the couch. “Does it ever get any easier?” you asked. “This fear of being hurt… does it ever go away?”

Something sad passed over her face. “Yes and no,” she said, pulling back her hand. “You’ll never be as innocent as you were in your first love. There’s something special about loving someone and never having been hurt before. Once you’ve gone through that kind of pain, you aren’t the same after. But… it does get easier. And better. You’ll know more about how to support this time, instead of tearing down. How to make a love stronger, instead of hanging on.”

Something about this speech gave you comfort, and you slowly nodded. Again, what she said made sense but if there was one thing you’d learned from the fall, it was no matter how great the advice was, it was impossible to take if you weren’t ready to hear it.

You continued wondering if the risk would be worth it. No matter how much you felt for Jimin, you couldn’t help but remember how you’d felt breaking up with Finn. You hadn’t been in love with him at that point and it had still been so painful. It was terrifying to imagine loving someone again and having things end the same way.

Your mom was right, though. You couldn’t keep punishing yourself for something you couldn’t change. There were several ways you could move on from here. The main question to ask yourself was whether you wanted Jimin in the picture.

“Alright,” you said softly. “Thanks, mom.”

“Anytime.” Smiling, she stood and dusted off her pants. “I’m going to see if your dad needs help making breakfast. Don’t be too long, now!”

You nodded, watching her go, and then glanced at the ticket. Your mom’s words continued to run through your mind and after a moment, you picked up your phone.

Jimin had texted back.

Jimin: I would never!  [10:57 AM]

Y/N: hey, so  [11:01 AM]

Y/N: I did get one non-dance gift this year. A plane flight the day before New Year’s Eve  [11:02 AM]

Jimin: oh, wow! That was really nice of your parents  [11:03 AM]

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes. When you opened them, you found yourself newly determined.

Y/N: when do you get back again?  [11:03 AM]

His ellipses started, then stopped, then started again.

Jimin: December 28th  [11:04 AM] 

Y/N: what are your New Year’s Eve plans?  [11:04 AM]

For a moment, he didn’t respond, and you felt your heart catch. Maybe you’d misread things. Maybe Jimin had moved on and didn’t care about you anymore. Maybe he didn’t want you to tell him you were ready.

Jimin: I’m free 😊  [11:05 AM]

Jimin: want to be my New Year’s Eve date?  [11:05 AM]

Smiling ear to ear, you responded.

Y/N: yes. Please  [11:06 AM]

On the actual day of New Year’s Eve, you found yourself stressed beyond belief. Standing in front of the mirror of your dorm room, you adjusted your dress and worried over the hemline. Jimin had arranged to meet you around 7:00 PM and it was dangerously close to 6:55.

“Is the dress too short?” you asked, turning a little to face Noelle. “It is New Year’s Eve in the city. Should I wear pants, or something? Will I be cold?”

Noelle considered, then shrugged. “Just drink more. Problem solved!”

Snorting, you turned back to the mirror. Nervously, you smoothed down the front of your dress. You’d bought it at an after-Christmas sale and had fallen instantly in love. It had seemed perfect at the time, but now you were having second thoughts about the thin straps and tight bodice.

“Alright, so Y/N.” Noelle changed the subject. “Here’s the plan. Are you listening?”

Hiding a smile, you adjusted an earring. “Listening.”

“Good. Okay, so Ari and I will be at a party uptown. If the date goes badly, just say the word and we’ll call you a cab. You can be ringing in the new year with us within the hour.”

“Perfect,” you said. “It’s good to have a back-up.”

“It is.” Noelle paused. “Not that I think you’ll need this, of course.”

“Well, you never know.”

“Please.” She snorted. “What’s Jimin going to do? Be too charming? Too respectful of boundaries? Wear pants that show off his ass a little too much?”

“Noelle!”

She laughed, coming to a stop alongside you. Noelle wore a sparkly dress which made her skin glow, although this may have been the glitter dusted over her shoulders. Looking at herself in the mirror, she fluffed her hair.

“Seriously,” she said, meeting your gaze. “You’re going to be fine.”

“I know, I know.” Shaking out your arms, you forced yourself to exhale. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. It’s been a long time since I went on a first date.”

Noelle considered. “That’s true. Allow me to give you some dating tips, then.”

Laughing, you turned around and sat on the futon. “By all means.”

“Alright – number one.” Noelle removed lipstick from her purse. “Don’t order anything with garlic. I know, that sucks because garlic is everything, but no one wants to make out while they have garlic breath. Rule number two!”

“Whoa, whoa,” you said. “Who said anything about making out?”

Noelle gave you a pointed look. “Just in case it should happen…”

Shaking your head, you sunk back on the futon, but you knew she was right. Tonight was New Year’s Eve, after all. Ideally, you’d like to do more than kiss Jimin, but this seemed like too much of a jinx to say out loud.

Mentally, you agreed to the ‘no garlic’ rule.

“What else?” you prompted.

“Let’s see.” Noelle began to reapply her lipstick. “Relax.”

“What?”

Glancing at you in the mirror, she raised both brows. “I can see your shoulders tensing from here, babe. Just relax, okay? Tonight will be fine. You’re just hanging out with Jimin. You’ve done that before.”

“I know,” you groaned, lowering your face to your hands. “For some reason though, I’m very aware of the ‘date’ aspect of tonight. I don’t know why.”

When you looked up, Noelle gave you a sympathetic look, but before she could say more there came a knock at the door. Half-standing, you moved to open it, but Noelle shooed you back.

“Rule number three,” she said as she crossed the room. “Never answer the door for your own date.”

“What?” you laughed, although you sat back down on the futon.

Grabbing the handle, Noelle pulled open the door. Blocking you from view, she leaned her shoulder against the frame.

“Password?”

“What?” came Jimin’s voice, sounding confused.

“That’s correct!” Noelle stepped aside.

As you stood, you saw Jimin for the first time. He wore a pea coat over his outfit, his dark hair pushed back from his face in a devastating manner. When he saw you, Jimin froze, and you saw his eyes widen.

Silently, you congratulated yourself on having picked the right outfit. His gaze slowly trailed your body, lingering in places which made your cheeks heat. When he returned to your face, he slowly exhaled.

“Hey,” he said. “You… you look beautiful.”

Smiling back, you found yourself at a loss for words. “So do you.”

Jimin grinned and you stood there, smiling at each other like idiots until Noelle cleared her throat.

“Well,” she said, side-stepping Jimin to grab her coat. “I’m going to head over to Ari’s. You kids be safe, okay?”

“We will,” you laughed.

Noelle left in a flurry of kisses and glitter, waving goodbye as she stepped out the door. Jimin turned to face you once she was gone, offering a smile.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked. “I brought you these.”

From behind his back, he pulled out pink peonies, which made you gasp. They were your favorites, a little limp from the cold, but still beautiful. Taking them gently from him, you turned them over in your hands.

“They’re wonderful,” you said happily. “Thank you.”

Jimin smiled. “I’m glad you like them.”

Glancing around, you found a clean glass near the sink and filled this with water. Arranging the peonies on your desk, you took a step back and cocked your head. You’d always thought the idea of flowers on dates was kind of cheesy, but now that you’d experienced it in person, it seemed unimaginably sweet.

“There,” you said, turning back. “All set.”

Jimin smiled at this, then glanced at your bare arms. “You’re going to be cold without a coat,” he said. “That’d be a bad way to start off the new year.”

“Oh – duh,” you said, hurrying towards your wardrobe.

Pulling a coat out, you slipped this over your dress and buttoned the front. As you left the room, you turned off the lights and shut the door behind you. Jimin walked with you down the hall, continually glancing your way from the corner of his eyes.

You felt oddly shy, despite this being Jimin beside you. Jimin, who you’d known since you were teenagers. Jimin, who’d been both the utter bane of your existence, along with the single person you trusted most in the world. He’d tossed you up in the air and caught you no question and somehow, this felt like the most daring thing you’d ever done.

It was strange to walk beside him, out on a date whose future held a large question mark. Excitement and uncertainty warred in your stomach, which only seemed to exacerbate the situation. You felt as though you stood on the edge of a precipice, staring into a ravine with no discernable bottom.

As you left the building, snowflakes swirled in the sky up above and you looked up in surprise.

“Oh,” you exhaled, breath frosting before you. “I didn’t realize it was snowing!”

“Yeah.” Jimin grinned, tilting back his head. “Snow is my favorite weather, actually.”

“The wet and the cold does it that much for you, huh, Park?”

“That, and the romance of it all.”

Your smile softened a little as you fell into step alongside him. The snow continued to drift as you walked, melting as soon as it touched the pavement.

“So, where are we going?” you wondered, glancing at him. “You said you’d tell me once you picked me up and I’ve got news for you, Jimin. I’m here. I’ve been picked up.”

“Right, sure.” He shoved both hands in his pockets. “I made a reservation at this restaurant around the corner. The food’s really good so I hope you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“Huh.” Jimin paused. “That was easy.”

You shrugged. “I’m just excited for tonight. That’s all.”

His gaze softened a little when he glanced at you. “Me, too.”

Smiling, you continued to walk alongside him. New Year’s Eve in the city was a grand affair. The sidewalks were still lit with holiday lights, people hurrying past in brightly colored coats. Privately, you were glad Jimin had made a reservation at a restaurant instead of trying to brave a club or a bar. You’d heard horror stories from people who paid extravagantly to get into a club, only to spend the entire night waiting in line at the bar.

Turning the corner, you saw the restaurant Jimin had chosen and brightened. It was one you’d walked past several times and always wanted to try but had never found time.

Jimin held open the door as you entered. The inside still had their holiday decorations up, garland strung across every surface with tiny, white fairy lights hung up above. Everyone who was dining wore formal attire, laughing and chatting in the glow of the fireplace. The food smelled amazing and immediately, your mouth watered.

Joining the line at the hostess stand, you waited for the couple before you to leave and then Jimin stepped up.

“Park,” he told her. “Party of two.”

The hostess smiled, nodding as she flipped through her notebook. “One moment, please.” The longer she looked though, the more her face fell. After a moment, she glanced up. “Park, you said?”

“Yes.” Jimin nodded. “P-a-r-k.”

The woman nodded, flipping through her notebook again as though the name might magically appear.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, glancing up again. “There seems to be some kind of mistake. I don’t have you listed as a reservation.”

Jimin’s expression faltered. “Can you look again?” he asked, leaning forward.

The hostess nodded, running her finger down the numbered rows. “I can’t find you anywhere. Do you remember who you spoke with on the phone?”

“Rebecca.”

“Oh.” Her face immediately fell. “Rebecca left the restaurant last week. It seems a few reservations slipped through in the transition. Is there… well, before I do that – let me see what I can do,” she blurted out, turning around to rush into the restaurant.

Jimin watched her disappear and you saw his expression tighten.

Silence fell between you as you adjusted your coat. Jimin looked stressed and you weren’t sure what you should do about it. Frantically, you tried to remember times he’d been stressed during class, but before you could do or say anything, the hostess returned.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, looking harried. “The restaurant is completely booked up. I was trying to see if we could squeeze you in, but there’s just no room. I’m so sorry. Normally, only one person does the reservations, but we’ve been so busy lately...”

“It’s fine,” you said, jumping in. The poor woman looked like she was about to burst into tears. “Please, don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out.”

Jimin glanced at you, surprised, and then nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed, returning to the hostess. “Thank you so much for your help – I appreciate you trying. We actually have a back-up reservation somewhere else, so don’t worry. We’ll come back another time!”

“Oh, really?” Her entire face brightened. “That’s so good to hear. New Year’s Eve, and all. Thank you for being understanding!”

“Yes, busy night,” Jimin said with a smile. “Take care of yourself!”

The woman nodded, seeming grateful when you stepped out of line. Jimin followed your footsteps, heading towards the door and then came to a stop. Slowly, he exhaled.

“So,” you said, turning to face him. “Where are these back-up reservations?”

Jimin winced and met your gaze. “I have none,” he admitted. “She just looked so sad. I wanted to put her out of her misery.”

“Wait.” Piecing this together, you paused. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he said miserably. “I only made reservations here and that was super lucky, considering most places in the city have been booked for weeks. I don’t have any back-up plans.”

For a moment, you could only stare. “So, you said all that just so that poor hostess wouldn’t worry about a mistake her restaurant made?”

“I – well, yeah.”

You stared another moment, then started to laugh. It started out small but grew until eventually, you were wiping tears of mirth from your eyes.

Jimin watched you laugh, seeming thoroughly confused. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just…” Shaking your head, you paused to catch your breath. “You’re unreal. Most people would be super stressed about New Year’s Eve plans falling through, but here you are lying to make a hostess’ night better.”

He blinked, still uncertain. “I’m… sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize!” you insisted as you straightened. “It’s… wonderful,” you said to him shyly. “I like that about you.”

Slowly, his expression changed. “I really don’t have other plans, though,” he admitted. “I wasn’t lying about that. And I am stressed about my reservation falling through. I wanted this night to be perfect.”

The sweetness of this made your heart start to melt and newly determined, you nodded.

“We can fix this,” you said. “We’ll just go somewhere else.”

“Like where?”

“Like...” You paused. “We could hang out at my dorm. Or at your apartment! One of our kitchens has to be free, right? We could make dinner and hang out, watch the ball drop.”

“We could go to my place,” said Jimin slowly. “Hoseok and Alex are at a New Year’s Eve party uptown. We’d have the kitchen to ourselves.”

“Perfect,” you said. “Let’s go there.”

“I should warn you, though – I can only really cook one thing.”

“Spaghetti-o’s?”

“Okay, two things.”

You laughed. “So, what’s the first thing?”

“A pasta dish they taught us in Senior Foods class. But it’s nothing fancy.”

“Perfect.” You shrugged. “That will go nicely with my contribution of store-bought bread and olive oil.”

Jimin started to grin. “Alright, then, it’s settled. Let’s go to my place.”

You smiled when he opened the door, following him onto the sidewalk. Jimin’s new apartment was a few blocks away, but time passed quickly with him beside you. Oddly enough, the mishap at the restaurant seemed to have cleared some of the lingering awkwardness.

Noelle had been right, you realized – you had nothing to worry about while you were with Jimin.

He talked while you walked, detailing the ongoing fight at his apartment about some posters Hoseok wanted to hang. This segued into the general ridiculousness of New Year’s Eve – a topic you wholeheartedly agreed with.

“It’s stressful,” Jimin complained as you walked. “Everyone’s always asking about your resolution, you need to find someone to kiss at midnight, and there’s that super awkward moment with the countdown and your date…”

You laughed, grabbing a basket as you entered the grocery store. Jimin had suggested you stop by, since he didn’t have much food at his place.

“Doesn’t the countdown make it easier?” you joked. “It really dumbs the whole process down. Fool-proof.”

“Well, sure,” Jimin said. “But then you end up staring awkwardly at someone for ten seconds while you slowly lean forward and wonder when you should blink.”

Laughing, you reached on tiptoe for a loaf of bread. “Alright, you got me there,” you admitted. “I’ve never had a proper New Year’s Eve, anyways. I’ve always been dating someone and then, it’s just kind of assumed you’ll kiss. None of the magic you see in the movies.”

Jimin nodded. “Most of that’s just movie magic, though. You aren’t missing much – trust me.”

“I don’t know,” you said as you turned the next corner. “The anticipation sounds kind of nice. Wondering if someone will kiss you back, if they’re thinking about you the same way you are…”

Jimin made a humming noise, low in his throat.

Coming to a stop, he reached overhead to grab some pasta. Putting this in your basket, Jimin casually brushed your arm as you met his faze. Fighting back a shiver, you tried to remember what you’d been saying.

Giving a smile, Jimin continued forward and kept shopping. You stared after him a moment before your gaze dropped to his ass. Inhaling quickly, you remembered Noelle’s comment about Jimin’s tight pants. She hadn’t been wrong about that. Hurrying along, you quickly caught up.

Grabbing another jar, Jimin placed this in the basket. When he caught your eye again, he grinned, his hair falling forward. The sight made your heart flip-flop in your chest.

As you entered the check-out line, Jimin came to a stop alongside you. His gaze traveled the store, eyes widening when he glanced over your shoulder.

“What’s that?” Jimin gasped.

Startled, you turned. “What’s – hey!” you blurted when he took your basket.

Grinning widely, Jimin placed the food before the cashier. “Too slow.”

“Jimin, come on,” you said, slightly flustered. “I can pay. I –”

“You can pay next time, if you want.”

This shut you up and you stared at him a moment before you stepped forward.

“There’s… going to be a next time?” you said.

Jimin glanced in your direction. “If you want there to be.”

“I do,” you said softly, and he smiled.

Taking another step forward, he pulled out his wallet to pay and you let him – this time, anyways. Outside, it seemed to have grown colder since your arrival and you shivered as you exited the shop. Noticing this, Jimin immediately undid his scarf from around his neck.

“Here,” he said, handing it over. “I don’t need this.”

“But then you’ll be cold,” you pointed out, accepting it anyways.

“I’ll jog in place to keep warm.”

“… With me walking beside you?”

“Yep.”

You laughed, even more so when Jimin began to demonstrate. He jogged for a few steps, then slowed to a walk.

“Changed my mind,” he said with a wince. “I’d rather be cold.”

You laughed, cheeks starting to hurt from both this and the wind. Jimin’s apartment wasn’t far, although it did turn out to be a third-floor walk-up. This left you slightly winded when you arrived at his place, to which Jimin shrugged and said the rent had been cheap.

Opening his front door, he led the way into – boxes. Tons of them, although most of the furniture had been set up around them. Jimin fumbled for a light, flicking this on and setting down the groceries.

“Most of the boxes are Alex’s,” he sighed, looking around. “Hoseok and I have a secret deal we’re going to unpack him ourselves if he doesn’t do it by Monday.”

“That doesn’t sound like much of a detriment to Alex.”

“I never said what we planned on doing with his things once we unpacked.”

You laughed, undoing your coat to set aside. Glancing around, you saw Jimin was right. Most of the boxes were scrawled in the same handwriting. Beyond them, you saw the living room had been mostly set up with a couch and TV.

To your right lay the kitchen, in which Jimin was already unloading the groceries. Beyond him was a hallway, through which you assumed were their bedrooms and bathrooms. Wandering back to Jimin, you realized he was staring.

“What?” you said, coming to a stop. “Did I spill something on my dress in the store?”

“No,” Jimin murmured, shaking his head. “I just… I know I said this before, but you really do look incredible.”

“Oh.”

Looking at him, you felt your face growing hot. Jimin smiled and ducked his head, resumed pulling things out of the bag. Stepping from your shoes to place in the hall, you returned to the kitchen and pulled out a stool.

Sitting down, you propped your chin in your hand. “Aren’t you going to take off your coat?”

Glancing down, Jimin blinked. “Oh,” he laughed, undoing the buttons. “I forgot I was wearing it.”

You smiled, but this quickly disappeared when you saw what he was wearing. Jimin had worn a dark blazer and trousers, paired with a paisley shirt and black boots. He looked ridiculously good and again, Noelle’s comment about his ass came to mind.

She’d been correct – his pants were well-shaped and well-formed.

After removing both coat and shoes, Jimin returned to the kitchen and pushed a hand through his hair. You watched him get to work, leaning forward a bit when he began to dice vegetables. Immediately, your brows raised. It seemed Jimin had undersold his skills in the kitchen.

When you said as much, he laughed.

“Maybe a little,” Jimin said. As he pushed veggies from the cutting board, the pan began to sizzle. “It’s all part of my master plan. Set expectations low, then over-deliver.”

“It’s working,” you said with a laugh. “You seem pretty damn impressive to me.”

Jimin’s cheeks reddened. “You’re just saying that.”

“Why would I lie?”

“I seem to remember some shocking texts about my junk and dancer’s belts. You could just be after my body, Y/N.”

“I – that’s not!”

He looked up and grinned. “Kidding.”

Flustered, you blurted, “That wasn’t nice!”

Jimin laughed. “I’m sorry.”

You huffed, waiting a minute before you continued. “You do look really good right now, though,” you said softly.

He looked up, eyes wide. As much as Jimin said he enjoyed being liked, it seemed to throw him for a loop whenever you said you liked him. It made you pause, mulling over this for a minute.

“You seem surprised,” you said quietly. “Whenever I say things like that, you always look surprised.”

“Well…” Jimin hesitated. “I just think… there’s been a lot of times where I never thought this would happen. It feels kind of unreal have you here. In my kitchen. On a date.”

“Times after November?”

Jimin paused.

Your brow furrowed. “Before then?”

Opening the pasta, Jimin added this to the pot. He stared into the steam, slowly exhaling before he looked up.

“Let’s just say I’ve wanted this for a while,” he admitted.

“What? But you hated me before Russet.”

“I…” Jimin trailed off. “Kind of. It’s complicated.”

When he failed to elaborate and returned to his cooking, your eyebrows shot up.

“Uh, no,” you laughed. “You can’t just say that and not explain what you mean. What are you talking about?”

Jimin winced as he set down his spoon. “Okay,” he said, gripping the counter. “I guess what I’m saying is I never really hated you. Not truly.”

“You didn’t.”

“No.” He spoke flatly.

“But…” Confused, you searched his face. “You’ve hated me ever since we met, Jimin. That first weekend at NUVO dance competition. We were both called out to demonstrate and you tripped me!”

“Well, maybe that’s not exactly what happened.”

“What are you talking about?”

Jimin released a low breath. “Okay, so here’s the thing. That weekend happened a little differently from my perspective.”

“How so?”

“We were both called out to demonstrate,” he said, repeating your words. “But I hadn’t seen you before then. When we both reached center and I turned and saw you – I froze. I couldn’t remember how to act. Every thought I’d ever had just… flew out of my head.”

You stared at him, speechless.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Jimin continued softly. “I’d never felt like that before. When you started to dance, it only got worse. I’d never seen someone dance like you did. That’s why I entered the combination late. That’s why I was in the wrong spot at the wrong time and that’s why I accidentally tripped you. I was… well, I was distracted.”

“By me,” you whispered. “You were distracted by… me?”

“Yeah.”

“So,” you said, breath catching. “This entire time, you haven’t really hated me?”

“Ah, I don’t know about that.” Jimin rubbed the back of his neck. “You could be really infuriating,” he said with a laugh. “There were times when you genuinely pissed me off. I meant it when I said I wanted to win against you. But also… I don’t know. I never really forgot the first time I saw you.”

“Oh,” you whispered, unsure what you were feeling.

It made your head spin to hear this different version of events. Jimin hadn’t hated you – at least, not in the same way you had. He hadn’t been the one to make the first move after all. You had when you’d decided not to listen to his apology.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

“Hey – what’s wrong?”

Dropping his spoon to the counter, Jimin came around and stood beside you. Keeping your head down, you refused to look up until Jimin touched your arm.

“I just,” you exhaled, turning to face him. “It was my fault. This entire time, I thought you hated me and that’s why I hated you. But instead, I just decided to hate you – and for what?”

Jimin’s upper lip twitched. “I wasn’t entirely blameless, you know. I was such a little shit at that age. I wouldn’t have believed me, either.”

“You tried to apologize, though!”

“Hey.” Gently, he gripped your elbows. “If it makes you feel any better, I did trip people just to get to the front. I was an ass. It’s why that Jungkook guy hates me. I started dancing later in life, so I was really hung up on proving myself.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t true,” you told him. “You didn’t trip me on purpose, and if I’d only been less stubborn –”

“Whoa, hey.” Jimin smiled. “You weren’t the only stubborn one. Maybe it started off as a misunderstanding, but I didn’t really fight it. You were my competition as much as I was yours.”

“I guess,” you said quietly. “I just… I feel like I wasted so much time hating you. Maybe we could’ve even been friends.”

His gaze sparked. “Just friends?” he asked with a quirk of his brow.

“Jimin,” you groaned, but started to smile.

“Listen.” Expression softening, Jimin moved closer. “Even if I had decided to explain all this in high school, would you have believed me?”

“Probably not.”

“Exactly. I was a dick back then.” He nodded. “Remember that one time I lied and told you the awards ceremony had been pushed back an hour?”

Sitting up straighter, you glared. “Oh, I remember. I showed up after they’d already taken the photo for Top Junior solos.”

Jimin grinned. “Or the time I put an out of order sign on the women's restroom after your solo at BRAVO, so you had to run all the way across the auditorium?”

“That was you!” you blurted out, wide-eyed. “No one would believe me when I said it was! Every girl was so pissed off at you that weekend.”

“Which is exactly why I could never admit it was me!”

In disbelief, you shook your head. “You did all of that just to get back at me?”

Jimin’s smile disappeared. “Hey, you weren’t innocent either,” he argued. “Remember the time you spilled an entire water bottle next to my bag so that when I sat down, my ass got all wet?”

Devious, you smiled. “Honestly, there was kind of an ulterior motive there. As much as I hated you, your ass looks great in damp sweats.”

Jimin’s jaw dropped a little.

Managing to shut this, he took a casual step forward. “Is that what you thought?” he murmured, barely able to conceal the thickness in his voice.

“I… may have noticed a few things about you.”

When he placed a hand next to you on the counter, your breath hitched in response. Jimin repeated this with his other hand, bringing his body a step closer to yours.

Hesitant, his gaze roamed your face. “What else did you notice?”

“I…” you exhaled and glanced at his lips.

The air between you could have been cut with a knife, heated for a different reason than the stove beside you. Which – eyes widening, you glanced over.

“Shit!” you blurted. “Jimin, the pasta!”

Startled, he looked in the same direction as you and realized the water was boiling. Rushing away, Jimin entered the kitchen and turned down the burner. Now that you were separated by a solid counter, you felt somewhat dazed when you glanced up and saw him.

Meeting your gaze, Jimin came to a stop. “Anyways,” he said softly. “Now, you know. I didn’t trip you on purpose. I never really hated you. And I’m incredibly glad you’re here tonight.”

Watching him speak, something warm bloomed in your chest.

“Me, too,” you whispered.

Smiling, Jimin returned to the pasta and you settled back on the stool. Delicious scents soon filled the kitchen and you realized how truly hungry you were. You hadn’t eaten much at lunch in preparation and by now, you were famished.

It wasn’t long before Jimin placed pasta onto plates, adding the bread you’d cut up on the side. He brought these to his table, disappearing briefly to return with two candles.

“Oo,” you said as you took a seat. “Fancy.”

Jimin lit the one closest to you with a flourish. “We aim to please, here at Park Jimin’s Fine Eating and Dining.”

“Is that the name of your restaurant?”

“It is.”

“And you’re set on that decision?”

“I decided on a whim, but I have no regrets,” Jimin said, taking a seat across from you. “Now, eat before you piss off the chef and he takes back your food.”

Laughing, you dug into the pasta before you. It was delicious and, after the very first bite, you sighed in appreciation. Apparently, Jimin had truly set the bar low. Conversation began to flow, any lingering tension disappeared after talk of your past.

It was the oddest thing. You’d heard stories from friends about other first dates. They worried about how to behave, what to wear, or what to say to their date – but none of these worries seemed to exist for you in the moment. You’d been so concerned before the night began, but now that you were here, all these worries seemed to fly out the window.

You’d thought you’d spend the entire night comparing. Comparing Jimin to your last relationship, comparing Jimin as a date to Jimin as a friend, but instead, it felt like natural progression. It wasn’t a matter of comparing Jimin to anyone else, but rather simply enjoying where the night led.

After dinner, you insisted on helping clean because Jimin had cooked and bought the food. Donning rubber gloves over your dress, you stood at the sink and began to wash dishes. Jimin laughed as he joined, pulling on gloves to dry the dishes beside you. Once this was done, he suggested watching a movie before the ball dropped.

Collapsing onto the sofa, you adjusted your dress and scanned the room. The posters Jimin had bemoaned were now hung over the TV – you wondered if Hoseok had managed to somehow sneak them past his roommates. Small touches here and there made you think of Jimin.

A game he’d mentioned was out on the coffee table and a blanket which smelled like him was draped over a chair. Pulling this towards you, you wrapped it around yourself as Jimin left the kitchen.

Holding two glasses of wine, he paused when he saw you.

“What?” you said, glancing down.

“Nothing.” Jimin cleared his throat. “Are you cold?”

“A little,” you admitted, tugged his blanket closer.

“Shoot.” Jimin frowned. “The heat’s been weird since we moved in. I’m not sure how to fix – oh!” Setting the glasses down, he rushed towards the hall. “Do you want a sweatshirt?” he called.

“Yes, please!”

Jimin reappeared moments later, a navy sweatshirt in hand. Handing this over, he settled beside you on the sofa. He’d ditched his blazer and now, Jimin was dressed in only the paisley shirt and slacks.

Pulling his sweatshirt overhead, you somehow managed to get stuck right away. It was hard not to, with your hair and the dress, trying not to flash him while you kept your legs crossed.

After a moment of watching your undignified struggling, Jimin cleared his throat.

“Need help?”

“Yes, please,” you said weakly.

Jimin laughed, helping you free and once the hoodie was settled, you sighed and leaned back. Glancing sideways at Jimin, you found him already looking at you.

“What do you want to watch?” you asked.

Jimin blinked, then glanced at the TV. “Hm,” he mused, grabbing the remote. “We could watch the ball drop and enjoy the fact that we’re sitting inside, not standing in the freezing cold without any bathrooms.”

“I know!” you said with a shudder. “Out of all the stupid traditions, that’s one I’ll never understand.”

“How do so many people have it on their bucket list?”

“Right? That, and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Zero out of ten. It’s cold, there’s wind and again, there’s the question of bathrooms.”

Jimin laughed as he scrolled through the channels. “Alright, so no to the ball drop. Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

“What movie?”

“Why’re you making me pick?” you whined, sinking deeper into his cushions. “That’s such a large amount of pressure.”

“Exactly, which is why I don’t want to do it.”

You laughed and after some back and forth, decided to watch About Time. This was a movie about obstacles and falling in love, which seemed more than fitting because of the new year. At first, you and Jimin were watching diligently but eventually, he asked a question and conversation slowly drifted from the movie.

At some point, Jimin lowered the volume to focus solely on you. You curled deeper into the couch beside him, your thighs somehow touching and shoulders inches apart. Jimin’s head leaned against the cushion and he continued to smile in a way which made your heart flip.

“Here’s a question,” you murmured, no longer pretending to watch the movie.

His eyes gleamed in the darkness. “What?”

“Why’d you tell Sabrina you only wanted to be friends?”

Briefly, his eyes widened. “How did… you know about that?”

“She told me.”

“Hm.” Jimin gave you a dubious look but moved past it. Sabrina had begun hanging out with your friends as of late. “But alright, I’ll answer. If I do though, you need to answer one of my questions. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“So, I was single when I came to Russet.” Jimin paused. “It was the first time in a long time, and I may have hooked up with a couple of people.”

“Hm,” you said tightly.

His eyes danced with amusement. “Jealous?”

“Answer the question.”

He laughed. “Anyways, I only hooked up with Sabrina the one time. Afterwards…” Jimin sighed. “I felt kind of weird about her asking me to switch partners. Then I overheard what she said about Ari at weigh-ins and just didn’t feel like anything more... Plus, there was the other reason.”

“And what was the other reason?”

“I was starting to like you,” he said, a bit softer. “The day you said you wanted to be friends was a giant weight from my chest. And the more relaxed you were around me, the more… I don’t know. The more I liked you, I guess. My mom has always called me her hopeless romantic,” Jimin said with a smile. “I don’t know about that, but I can be single-minded when I like someone. That was part of the reason I told Sabrina we shouldn’t hook up anymore.”

“Oh,” you whispered.

His smile turned lopsided. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yeah. I guess it does.”

“My turn, then.” Smile disappearing, his gaze darkened. “Why did you really call me that night at the club?”

“Oh. That. Well, I –”

“And don’t say it was because I had a car,” Jimin interrupted. “There were a lot of people you could’ve called to help. You didn’t, though. You called me. Why?”

You hesitated before you realized there was only one answer. “I wanted to see you,” you said honestly. “I was scared, I was alone and… you were the person I wanted to see.”

Jimin’s gaze had become nearly black, the air between you thick with something unsaid. You were suddenly conscious of all each part of your body pressed to his. When Jimin shifted on the couch, you moved somehow closer.

He hesitated, then glanced at your mouth. “I don’t…” Jimin licked his lips, sounding hoarse. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“You won’t,” you told him.

Something uncertain passed over his face. “Maybe we should take things slow.”

“Or,” you said slowly. “I could tell you things I like about you, instead.”

“And what would be the point of that?”

Your gaze shifted to his. “You’ve told me a lot tonight about how much you like me,” you said softly. “About how long you’ve liked me. I think it’s time I returned the favor.”

Something in his gaze cracked and he nodded. The TV in the background was quiet, only the noise from the street and the whoosh of the heater breaking the silence.

“First,” you said, glancing down at his lap. “You have really nice hands.”

Jimin’s lips twitched. “My hands? I’ve always thought they were small.”

“Wrong. They’re the perfect size. Never have they dropped me.”

“Mm, that’s a good point.”

“And your smile,” you said.

“What about it?”

“I like your smile,” you told him. “It makes me smile.”

His eyes crinkled in demonstration. “Oh, yeah?”

“And your ears.”

Jimin laughed. “My ears?”

Reaching out, you delicately traced over an edge. “I’ve spent a long time looking at your profile, Park. I know what I’m talking about here.”

As your fingers moved lower, feather-light down his jaw, Jimin’s smile disappeared.

“I like your jaw, too,” you told him.

In the darkness, his gaze glinted, and you felt his jaw tense.

“And your lips,” you added, gaze lowering. “I like those a lot.”

“Y/N…” Jimin’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Yeah?”

He slowly exhaled. “I just don’t want you to regret this.”

“Jimin.”

He opened his eyes.

Your expression was serious. “I told you I wouldn’t jump into something before I was ready,” you said, lifting your other hand. “But I’m not in love with Finn anymore. It doesn’t hurt when I think about what happened last semester. I like you, Jimin. I want you. I don’t want to keep pushing you away. I get if you’re unsure about this, though. If you’re unsure about me.”

Jimin’s gaze roamed your face. “Unsure?”

“I know I hurt you before. I shouldn’t have kissed you and ran away. But I promise this isn’t like that. I’m not running away. I’m the furthest thing from running and I –”

Cutting you off, Jimin pressed his lips to yours.

You shuddered a little, leaning into his kiss before he pulled back. Jimin exhaled, barely a breath before he kissed you again.

Noses brushing, lips lingering, the kiss slowly deepened. Your hands curled into his hair, pulling him forward to bask in his warmth. It was dizzying, how different this felt than last time. Last time you’d been heartbroken, desperately yearning each time your lips had touched.

Now, Jimin felt like air, like sunshine as you drowned in his presence. Hand grasping your waist, Jimin moved you closer so your chest nestled to his. Lifting his fingers, his touch skimmed your jaw, your hairline before he circled the nape of your neck.

Drawing away, he bit down on your lip. With a low sort of moan, Jimin sought your lips again. When his mouth opened yours, his tongue swept forward and you nearly combusted.

This was only to tease, though. Only to taste before he pulled away, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Thumb skimming your jawline, Jimin tilted your head back to brush a kiss to your throat. Moving higher, he worshiped a slow path up the column of your neck. At your ear, he nipped gently before he returned.

Now, his kisses began to deepen. Mouths opening, your tongues brushed only briefly before he chose to withdraw. You were glad you were kissing on the couch, because suddenly your own legs felt weak underneath you.

Hand re-gripping his waist, Jimin pulled you against him. Eager, your hands found his neck and the blanket dropped to the floor. It wasn’t enough, though – you needed more, wanted to feel him fully beneath you. Rising on your knees, you swung a leg over his lap and settled on top.

Jimin hissed, his head hitting the back of his couch. Your dress had ridden up in the process, exposing your thighs – his thumbs skimmed the surface before he looked up.

“Shit,” Jimin croaked.

Smiling, you bent to kiss him again. Jimin arched upwards, each part of your body electric where you touched. He shifted his hips, granting friction and heat which made you short-circuit. Pressing yourself closer, your thighs sild backwards until they nestled around his waist.

Jimin’s hand found your spine, pulling you closer as his hips pushed upwards. You groaned when you felt him shift underneath you. The kisses grew steadily hotter, this ache in your core increasing with every touch.

“Can I…” Pulling away, Jimin glanced lower. “Can I take off the sweatshirt?”

“Yeah,” you said, a bit dazed.

Jimin didn’t waste time, helping you pull this swiftly overhead. It was tossed on the ground and when your dress was revealed, he inhaled.

Slipping his hands up your bodice, Jimin met your gaze. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he confessed, his voice hoarse.

“Do what?”

Your breath hitched when his hands skimmed your breasts, lingering in all your softest places.

“Touch you,” Jimin said. “It was torture to see you, to look at you and not be able to do this. Not how I wanted, anyways. I’d tell myself not to think about it, but…”

“Jimin.”

He paused and looked up. “Yes?”

“Touch me. Please.”

Without hesitation, Jimin slid his hands lower. Cupping your ass, he pulled you against him and allowed his other hand to drift up your spine. You shivered, closing your eyes as your head tilted back.

His hands slid up your front, over your breasts and under the straps of your dress. Jimin’s thumbs drifted lower, brushing your nipples through the fabric of your bodice. Opening your eyes, you looked down at him and saw his gaze darken.

Reaching higher, Jimin cupped the back of your neck and returned your lips to his.

He kissed you slowly, purposefully as you melted forward. Shifting against him, the kiss began to intensify. Mouths opening, your tongue swept forward in bold strokes against his. Suppressing a whimper, you ground your hips on his lap.

“Is,” you murmured, breaking free. “Is your bedroom unpacked?”

Jimin went still. “I – mostly, yeah.”

“Can I see it?”

“Fuck, yes,” he groaned, releasing your thighs as he stood from the couch.

You laughed, sliding down his front as your feet hit the ground. Tugging your dress down, you followed Jimin when he grabbed your hand. He pulled you down the hall, coming to a stop at the last room on the row. Pushing open the door, he flicked on the light and came to a stop.

Stepping forward, you glanced around Jimin’s room. You recognized some of the items from the two times you’d visited Jimin in the dorms. Photos of his family were carefully hung on the wall and he had the same pillows laid over his queen-sized bed.

Turning around, you took a step backwards and sat on his bed. “It’s nice,” you said, patting the comforter. “I like it here.”

Jimin watched you, his gaze half-lidded from the hall. “I like you here.”

Cheeks heating, you watched him enter and gently shut the door. Leaning back on your elbows, you arched a brow.

“Where’d we leave off?”

Jimin exhaled as he crossed the room. “I think you were on my lap,” he said hoarsely, kneeling beside you.

You nodded, moving to straddle him as he leaned to the wall. Catching your waist with both hands, Jimin pulled you against him, kissing you roughly even before you sat down. Suddenly ravenous, his hands slid to your ass as he rolled you against him. Inhaling sharply, you sucked his lower lip between teeth as he groaned.

Reaching up, Jimin tugged on your hair as you inhaled, throat exposed for him to kiss slowly down your front. When he returned to your lips, you ground your hips impatiently over the bulge in his pants.

Shifting his weight, Jimin’s spine hit the wall. He stared at you, slightly dazed with his kiss-reddened lips. Without looking away, Jimin lifted his fingers and began undoing his shirt. You stilled, watching each inch of skin be revealed. When he reached the last button, you gave in and helped push this aside. Smiling, Jimin sat up as his shirt fell to the floor.

You weren’t sure where to look first. Hands faltering, you slid them up his abs, over his shoulders and down his biceps. He was so perfect, it almost hurt to look at. Jimin’s breath quickened as you touched him and slowly, he lowered you down to the bed.

“Enough,” he said roughly, returning your lips to his.

As you kissed it turned lazy, nothing but grinding and touching. Jimin’s hair was messy beneath the pull of your fingers. He didn’t seem to mind, his own hands digging into the curve of your thigh. Playing with the hem of your dress, he deftly slid upwards.

“Jimin,” you said, breaking free. “Unzip me.”

His gaze darkened. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Jimin nodded, following suit when you sat up beside him. Turning around, you exposed your back and Jimin began to lower the zipper. He moved slowly, taking his time as his fingers brushed skin. Holding the dress up with your hands, you waited until it was fully unzipped before releasing it to the floor.

Turning around, you found Jimin’s jaw slack.

“You…” He roughly inhaled while he scanned your body. “Lace, Y/N? Really?”

“Do you like it?” you asked.

You may have gone overboard preparing for tonight. Although you hadn’t been sure what would happen, you also hadn’t wanted to be caught off your guard. Tonight, your constant need to plan had come in handy. Beneath your dress you’d worn a crimson lace bra and panties – a matching set which Jimin seemed to like, based on his expression.

“You’re going to kill me,” he muttered, lowering his lips to your neck.

Kissing slowly down your chest, he came to a stop where the two halves joined together. Skimming the length of your torso, his hands trembled a little when he brushed the lace.

Jimin looked up. “I’m sorry I keep touching you,” he murmured. “I just – you’re driving me crazy. You’ve been driving me crazy.”

“You said that before,” you whispered.

“I meant it.”

Kissing again up your body, he lingered in places your skin was exposed. Inhaling, your eyes fluttered shut as you grasped his shoulders.

Jimin’s hand slid between your thighs. “Part them,” he murmured, and you obeyed.

Heart racing, you opened your eyes and watched Jimin drag a finger slowly up the center of your panties. Even you could feel how damp the fabric was, how wet and ready you were for him.

Lifting his finger to his lips, Jimin sucked. “You’re soaking,” he breathed, sounding eager. “So good to me.”

Lowering his head, his tongue flicked your breast. Teasing the nipple through fabric, he urged and he sucked until it was fully erect. Moving onto the next one, Jimin grazed with his teeth until it pressed wantonly into the lace cup of your bra. Moaning his name, you arched against him.

Finding your wrists, Jimin pinned you backwards as he continued. Thighs caging your waist, he kept you hostage with his exquisite torture. The lace of your bra was now drenched, Jimin sucking debauchedly through fabric.

“Jimin,” you groaned, twisting on the sheets. “Please.”

His hips rolled lazily against your center. “Not yet,” he insisted before pulling back. “Not until you make a mess of my sheets. Want to ruin these panties.”

Sliding a hand between your thighs, he lightly circled your entrance. Feeling how wet you were, Jimin softly groaned. Sitting back on his heels, he finally relented and pulled your panties down. Tossing these to the floor, he returned to your thighs and spread your legs.

Lightly, Jimin dragged the pads of his thumbs up and down your panty line. “God, you’re so perfect,” he murmured. “Got my sheets fucking soaked.”

Separating two of his fingers, he slowly dragged his digits up and down your folds. You inhaled, feeling needy while you watched him touch you. Each brush of his fingers had you dripping – teasing over your entrance, he refused to give you exactly what you wanted. Feather-light, Jimin circled your swollen clit with his finger.

Hands gripping the sheets, you could only stare while Jimin brought you closer and closer to the edge. He was barely touching you, but it was the most turned on you’d ever been in your life. Jimin’s thumb swiped over your clit, rubbing you gently as you keened in frustration, arching against him.

He continued like this until you were gasping, begging for more and then – only then – did he slide a finger inside you. Legs trembling, you arched on his mattress and stared at him, glassy-eyed. When Jimin began to move in and out, you lost all control.

Lowering his head, he closed his lips over your clit.

“Oh my god,” you whimpered as you broke apart.

Barely did he suck before you were coming undone, pulsing around his fingers. Shuddering with pleasure, you collapsed on the bed as you rode out your high. Gently, Jimin pulled out his finger and returned to your lips.

Reaching behind you, he undid the clasp of your bra and tossed this on the floor. Once you were fully naked, he pulled you against him. You felt limp, thoroughly sated, but familiar excitement began to stir at his front pressed to yours. Tilting your head, he gently kissed you while your fingers wound in his hair.

Jimin moved slow, letting you take the lead. Your core continued to throb with oversensitivity, although this seemed to lessen the longer you kissed him. Before long, your nipples were hardening as you rubbed against him. Fingers digging into your thigh, Jimin pulled this over his hip to watch you lazily grind.

Realizing he still wore pants, you lowered a hand, determined to fix this. Jimin helped, dragging the zipper down to throw both these and his boxers down on the floor.

He bent to kiss you again, but you placed a hand on his chest. “Wait,” you murmured. “I want to see you.”

Jimin exhaled, leaning back so you could take in his body. If you’d thought his chest was unreal, it was nothing compared to his trim hips, sculpted thighs and cock nestled between.

“Oh,” you said, dragging a hand down his front.

Jimin shuddered a little. He was already hard, his cock thick and pretty with a reddened tip. It made your mouth water to look at, wanting to lick up the shaft. Reaching between you, you closed your fist around him and slowly jerked him off.

You watched in fascination as Jimin responded. His jaw tightened, abs tense while you teased over his frenulum. His cock responded instinctively, hardening further the longer you touched him.

After a few minutes of this, Jimin shook his head. “No more,” he said huskily, taking your hand in his. “I’ll come if you keep doing that.”

“Oh?” you murmured, gaze darting lower.

He chuckled, a rough sound in his throat. “I like watching you come,” Jimin confessed, his cock hard between you. “It turns me on. I’m… still trying to recover from your last orgasm.”

“Oh,” you said, in a completely different way.

Jimin exhaled, hair falling forward. “I hope that doesn’t weird you out.”

“Does it… weird me out that you like giving orgasms?”

“Well, when you put it like that.”

“How else would I put it?”

His grin became devious. “You could ask for another.”

Breathless, you nodded and Jimin’s gaze darkened.

He descended your body, not wasting any time as he positioned himself between your legs. Licking slow up your center, you gasped and instinctively drew your legs higher. Jimin didn’t bother easing you into it. No, now he ate you out like he wanted to.

Kissing your folds, he returned to your clit and sucked this into his mouth. Rolling the sensitive bud with his tongue, he teased and released before you knew what was happening. He continued to do this, spreading you underneath him and bringing you close to coming, only to pull back and leave you maddeningly empty.

Spreading your folds, he began licking sweetly over your clit. This was followed by loose, lazy sucking and more tender flicks. You stared dazedly at him between your legs, the sight more erotic than anything you could’ve imagined.

Grinding his cock into the sheets, Jimin thrust his hips while he pleasured you. You could tell he enjoyed this; each grunt from his lips was more affirmation. Moving lower, he circled your cunt with his tongue just to lap up your juices. You gasped at the sensation, having never felt it before. Flicking your clit with his thumb, Jimin fucked your cunt with his tongue before he slowly withdrew.

Spreading you wide, he returned to your clit and you clasped a hand over your lips before a moan could escape. Each curl of his tongue left you gasping, writhing beneath the pleasurable onslaught of his mouth. Pulling away, Jimin pressed a gentle kiss to your thigh before he rose up your body.

At your mouth, he kissed your fingers. “You don’t have to be quiet,” he told you. “I want to hear the noises you make, Y/N. It makes me feel good.”

Removing your hand, you slowly nodded.

Jimin just grinned, dropping between your legs to begin eating you out again. This time, you didn’t hold back. Jimin seemed to appreciate this as you slipped further from control. He was so good with his mouth, making you see stars as your legs started to shudder. When he slid his finger inside you and fingered you again, your hands fisted in the sheets.

“Ji-jimin,” you gasped, writhing beneath him. “Jimin, I – oh.”

He began to move faster, adding a second finger as your insides clenched around him. Everything tightened, hovering at a breaking point while Jimin continued, relentless. His mouth on your clit, his fingers inside you – everything broke apart when you came, gasping his name.

Jimin didn’t move, kissing your sex as you slowly came down. He lapped at your sex, licking up your arousal before withdrawing his fingers. Once your breathing had steadied, Jimin returned to the sheets beside you.

“Good?” he breathed, draping an arm over your waist.

“Oh my god, yes,” you exhaled, burying your face in his chest.

He laughed, pulling you closer. Jimin started to pull away, which made you look up and frown.

“What are you doing?” you said.

He paused. “I’m looking for a tissue.”

“Why?”

“I… I’m kind of at a loss here.”

“No, I mean why now,” you said, baffled. “I can come again, Jimin. I want to come with you inside me.”

Jimin stared at you a moment.

“Unless…” Uncertain, you hesitated. “You don’t want to…?”

“Fuck,” Jimin muttered, sounding hoarse. “No – I want to. I really want to. Are you sure, though?” he said, reaching to open the side drawer of his bed.

You grinned when he pulled out a condom, ripping this open.

“I’m sure,” you murmured, moving closer.

Jimin rolled the condom onto himself, pausing before he went any further. Shifting his weight so he hovered over you, Jimin searched your gaze. Reaching lower, you casually stroked his cock and guided him to your center.

He didn’t enter yet, content to take his time. Instead, Jimin bent and kissed you, dragging a hand down your side. His fingers paused at your breast, tweaking your nipple until it stood fully erect. Moving to your waist, he curved under your ass and lifted your hips to his.

Arching upwards, you felt his cock brush your center. The touch made you pant, wanting him inside you and wanting it now. Rolling over his length, you marveled at the feel of him between your legs. Having him so close and not having him inside you was maddening.

“Jimin,” you whimpered.

“Yeah?” he murmured, continuing to thrust between your thighs.

“Please,” you begged him.

“Alright, baby,” he said and rolled you onto your back.

It was the first time he’d used the endearment, sending a wave of warmth through you as your legs parted. Reaching lower, Jimin positioned himself at your entrance. It took him a moment to work his way in; you were so wet, he needed a second try. With only his tip inside, you immediately clenched and buried your head in his shoulder.

Lightly, Jimin brushed a kiss to your hair. “Relax, baby,” he murmured, making you glance up. “I’ll make you feel good. I promise.”

Slowly, you nodded. “Okay.”

Laying slowly back down, you tried to relax while he worked his way deeper. With slow, shallow thrusts, Jimin finally bottomed out and you stared at him in amazement. His cock was thicker than you were used to and stuffed to the brim like this, you felt so full. Glancing down, you saw his hips nestled snugly to yours.

When you looked up, Jimin met your gaze. “I’m sorry,” he exhaled, hanging his head. “I just – I need a minute.”

“What’s wrong?” you blurted, immediately worried.

A smile passed over his lips. “Nothing’s wrong.” He looked up. “You’re just… fuck. I feel like a damn virgin. You’re so tight and wet, I’m losing my mind.”

Hearing him say this sent a shiver through you. Shifting your hips, you reveled in the sensation of him moving inside you.

Jimin groaned. “No,” he protested. “You can’t do that right now.”

“Do what?”

“Try and make me move,” he murmured. “I know you can’t see yourself, so you can’t see how hot you look. Tits out, pussy spread and dripping all over my cock.”

“Oh,” you breathed.

“Sounding like that.”

“Jimin. If you don’t –”

He suddenly thrust deeper, grinding his pelvis against your core and making you groan. Speechless, you stared as he slowly pulled out. Jimin teased you with his tip, moving a few inches back in before he thrust again.

“Oh,” you groaned, jolted upwards on the bed.

His gaze dropped to your chest. “Fuck,” Jimin said quietly, dropping down to an elbow.

He moved again in earnest, thrusting slowly in and pulling back out. It made your breath catch, needing more but loving the torture. It was torture to feel every inch of him and have Jimin continue to hold back. You knew he could go faster, deeper, but wanted to stay in control.

Dropping his head, Jimin slowly kissed your neck. His cock continued to move, fucking you slowly as your legs opened wider.

“Jimin,” you whimpered.

Your hips chased after his, hoping to coerce him deeper.

He smirked. “Yes, baby?”

“Please,” you said, arching against him. “I want more.”

“You want it harder?”

As he said this, Jimin increased his strength. Keeping the tempo the same, each thrust of his cock had your lips parting with pleasure.

“Yes,” you whimpered, barely hanging on.

“And faster? You want that, too?”

You nodded, slack-jawed as Jimin sped up the pace. His cock began to pound into you, hand fisting in sheets as he gave it to you hard. Arching underneath him, your hands dragged down his back as Jimin fully let go. With each thrust of his hips, his pelvis brushed your clit and yet, it still wasn’t enough.

“More?” he teased, continuing to fuck you.

“More,” you whimpered, sliding your hands up your breasts. Tweaking the nipples, you watched his gaze harden. “I want more, Jimin.”

He immediately moved, as though he’d been waiting for this. Grasping your ankles in one hand, he lifted them high overhead and pulled his cock out. You gasped when he did so, your hands falling to the side while you were put on display. The position pushed your pussy lips together, giving an incredible view of your dripping cunt.

Jimin plunged his cock back inside, nearly making you scream. It felt so deep this way – so deep and hard and deliciously wanton. Jimin fucked you from above, hips slamming into you and making your breasts bounce.

Jimin groaned, his hips never faltering. “Touch them,” he said, lowering your ankles to one shoulder. “Touch your tits for me, baby.”

You obeyed, hands sliding over your breasts to tease your nipples. This sent a shock of pleasure straight to your core and Jimin hammered your g-spot, making you see stars. Jaw slack, you could only lie there and take it while he made you come.

It was too much, the wave of pleasure threatening to overwhelm, but then Jimin leaned forward and you finally snapped. You felt him release into the condom as you fell apart, rope after rope of hot cum inside you.

Eventually, Jimin softened and fell onto his elbow. As he opened his eyes, he sought your gaze and you smiled. His cheeks were flushed, his hair dark and sweaty and you couldn’t help the deep surge of affection within you.

“I don’t know about you,” he murmured. “But that was pretty fucking incredible.”

“Same here,” you whispered. “I’d like to do it again sometime.”

“Three orgasms weren’t enough?”

“Were they enough for you?”

“No.” Jimin laughed. “I could watch you come all night. But we should probably get you cleaned up and all that.”

“Probably,” you agreed, although you made no effort to move.

Eventually Jimin sighed and gently pulled out. Tossing his condom in the trash, he showed you to the bathroom and let you do what you needed to do. When you returned, Jimin was on top of his bed. He’d put back on his boxers and held out his sweatshirt.

“I thought you might want this,” he said, uncertain.

Smiling, you took it and lowered it over your head. Climbing beside him on the bed, you rested your head on his shoulder and cuddled beside him. Listening to his breathing, you concentrated until yours started to match.

Outside, cheers erupted from the street. Scrambling upwards, you fought to look out Jimin’s side window. As you hurried to see what the commotion was about, Jimin groaned when you flashed him your bare ass, but followed suit.

Glancing outside, you realized it must have turned midnight. Fireworks went off over the skyline, people cheered below, and someone had lit a sparkler on the street. Voices drifted higher, wishing each other a happy new year as slowly, you turned around to face Jimin.

He smiled at you, his happiness clear when he pulled you to him. A dizzying rush of what-if’s and excitement went through you and somehow, you knew this would be only the beginning.

“Happy new year,” he murmured.

“Happy new year,” you whispered, tilting your face up to his.

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading this series 😊 It’s been a whirlwind, so thank you for sticking with our main characters throughout the journey! I hope you enjoyed and are having a wonderful holiday season :) happy (almost) new year!

RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST 

© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[trans-axolotl2]

2022 reflections

usually always do a thing at the end of the year where i look back at the year and do my wrap up journal entry. thought i'd post it here <3 trigger warning for eating disorder discussion, no mention of weights or numbers or really much specific behaviors.

January 2022: Most of the things I remember from this month is top surgery recovery. The recovery was sort of sensory awful, but it brought So much joy with it and I also felt so joyful that I got to be with my boyfriend and he was there during the recovery process. I remember it being really horribly cold but not awful. Got really into jellyfish randomly and started hyperfixating on them after going to the aquarium. first time i started having the ceiling people hallucination!

February 2022: genuinely can't remember much of february. I think I was getting more and more invested in learning stuff about antipsychiatry. I think this is also when things started getting bad eating disorder wise again and I was also having a bunch of trauma flashbacks. i was really determined not to admit to myself that anything was wrong because i knew that if i started admitting one thing was wrong then everything was just going to fall apart and I didn't want to do that right then.

March 2022: I remember celebrating my birthday with friends and going to Nationals for ballroom dance! both of those things were super fun. Physically was feeling so fucking horrible all the time + was having mobility issues. Pretty sure I had a lot of pretty bad paranoid psychotic episodes during the month? can't quite remember. had like a spiritual experience while reading a book of trans poetry and decided I wanted to journal outside for like a month but then stopped lmao. got a little better mood wise because it started being sunnier out and i was going outside more! pretty sure this was when I joined a new antipsych org.

April 2022: Things were definitely spiraling pretty badly with my eating disorder but at this point I had stopped seeing my dieititan and it was reallly going downhill. Still desperately trying to hang on. I remember sleeping in and skipping a lot of classes and feeling physically horrible all the time. got doxxed by some neo nazis because I was counter-protesting their transphobic protest. I remember having some really good times with my college friends though!

May 2022: Finals season! I remember being so unwell but spending hours every day at the library and writing some really good papers and just being so stressed even though I passed my classes. Changed my hair from purple to green. Moved into a different dorm. Started a new job. Got really manic. Got forearm crutches to help with my mobility challenges! Started to recognize that my eating disorder was actually getting really bad again. The second half of May was kind of nice though.

June 2022: Both my jobs were stressful but not awful. Eating disorder was really, really bad, and I physically felt awful literally every day. It was getting out of control. My treatment team started suggesting residential treatment. I went to a drag show, got manic at pride and got way too drunk at pride while on a call with a treatment center lmfao. Had fun with my friends at pride though :). Probably the worst my eating disorder has ever been and just the whole month I remember feeling tired and hating myself and just so completely miserable in a way I've never felt before.

July 2022: Agreed to start the process of going to residential treatment. Spent the first three weeks just doing intake calls, getting on waiting lists, doing research, everything. Made a beautiful little stuffed animal bear with forearm crutches and decided I wanted to reopen my Etsy but then got institutionalized lmfao. July 22nd 2022, I was admitted to residential treatment for my eating disorder. The first couple weeks just felt like a daze. I loved my original millieu that was there from my week one. Four people discharged the week I was there, but everyone there was so welcoming. I didn't get to go outside for all the weeks I was there in July, and I ordered a lot of stuff on amazon like yarn and a paint by number set. I remember just feeling like none of this was real and was still convinced I would be out of there in four weeks. I still was really incapable of understanding a lot of the ways my eating disorder was a problem. Thinking back on it most of what I remember is slow summer days, playing a lot of Bananagrams with my favorite staff member, and being so overwhelmed and confused. Also remembering the upset about the door curtains. Had a lot of realizations about trauma and control and how my eating disorder worked. I started making everyone origami creations and also started journalling every day becauase I felt so scared about the psych record being the only record that matters.

August 2022: Was overall a really difficult month. Still instituionalized and had to deal with my university trying to kick me out and then making the decision to take the semester off. Started really feeling a lot of the violence of institutionalization. I started really, really becoming close friends with patients and we would spend so much time together cause every day that's all there was to do. August 2nd was the first day I said out loud that I valued recovery. I started having some motivation now and then, and got into a cycle where I could get on the highest level for a couple days and then would dramatically crash and burn. A new patient came who like irrationally annoyed me for a week lmfao because he was really Christian. I ran community meeting for the first time and loved it because I loved complaining. Started getting really close with one patient in particular and we were helping each other at meals and keeping each other accountable. Started struggling with SH in treatment so I got put on protocol. there was a really dramatic incident that happened in treatment because the staff were fucking incompetent and two of my best friends in treatment got kicked out. one of my tumblr mutuals came to the same treatment center and that was really lovely because i was like thank god another trans person to talk to antipsychiatry with and then now they've turned out to be like one of my best friends for life (and im seeing them next week actually!) One of my fav patients who I felt really protective of stepped down and I got to do her warrior leader name ceremony at her sending ceremony and we all cried.

September 2022: Probably one of the most difficult months of my year so far. Growing closer and closer to all my friends in treatment. This was the month I had a feeding tube in for 3 weeks. It was really, really difficult. Sensory wise it felt awful, emotion wise it made me really really depressed, and meant I couldn't go outside. It was just so so difficult. When I got it out I remember how proud and happy everyone was and the support of everyone really kept me going. Was the creation of the Pisces full moon!!! The feeding tube was really the turning point in my eating disorder recovery. It was the moment I realized that it was never going to stop, that these justifications were never going away, that there was never going to be the point where I was happy and that all these intrusive thoughts were really just the surface level manifestations of a way I coped with my trauma. Realized a lot of the ways I coped through avoidance. Realized that day by day that although I didn't choose to have a brain that told me to cope in these ways and suggested restriction a million times a day, I could actually choose to counter them. Was not fucking easy and I could not have gotten through it without everyone.

October 2022: Went to the emergency room and then got well enough I went out on passes! I went to the zoo, to the craft store, to the aquarium, to the mall, to the coffee shop. We had a lot of new admits who would come for one day and then elope. I started actually getting a lot a lot a lot better. Really putting in a lot of work and also really feeling so much energy and able to connect with my friends. Goblin club!!! Did my weight exposure and then stepped down to partial hospitalization on October 18th!!! I was so nervous but so happy to reunite with my friends who were in PHP. Started staying in the supportive living with my treatment bestie and really loved spending evenings with them, having a ravine experience, all of that.

November 2022: Complete emotional roller coaster. PHP was sort of the time to stop avoiding things. Became so close to the PHP patients as well and really did a lot of like, collective processing of instituionalization trauma together. Emotional highs and emotional lows but all together SO transformative. One of my treatment friends wrote us a song that made me cry. i cried so much and just. Felt so completely healed in ways I had never anticipated. Got nose piercings with my patient friends. We got another patient to tattoo us all matching recovery tattoos. We went to build a bear together and got really drunk together. I cried so much at my sending ceremony and we stayed up really late my last night just talking with these people I've grown to love so so much. On November 18th I was discharged from treatment. I felt so completely insane being back in the real world--I didn't know what to do or how to act. Started couch surfing with friends. Spending time in Ohio, and then off to Pittsburgh.

December 2022: Adjusting to being back in the real world. No longer going through each day measuring what would happen compared to the schedule of meals and bathroom breaks and outside breaks and group therapy. Still keeping up with my outpatient treatment. Doing embroidery again!! Spending time with my best friend from high school and watching a lot of reality tv with them. Having a few low mood moments and psychosis, but overall feeling fragile but good. Then going to Philly for Christmas and feeling the best I have in weeks. Spending Christmas with my extie and his family and just. Realizing how much better I'm doing. how much more at peace I am. How I'm motivated and excited and know that I am deserving of so much better. How at the beginning of this year I thought I was horrible and couldn't make friends and leaving this year with so much love and connection in my life. Knowing that I won a research grant and can do even more stuff next year.

Overall this year has been one of the most challenging years of my life in a new way. Not the worst year of my life by far, but one where I had to push myself and I had to do a lot of work. And just. 2022 is a year I'm going to remember forever I think. The people I've met this year--E, E, M, C, A, I, R, J, S. The friends who have been there for years and are still here. The memories of goblin club, outside breaks, PHP adventures, the snaps we'd write each other. Idk. I think that's what defined my 2022. Community. This year more than any other I have felt loved and understand what community looks like when you have to fight for it to exist every day, when you're surrounded by violence and power and coercion every day and you still manage to show each other that much love.

[shurisneakers]

perceive

Summary: In which he reclaims his five senses of perception

Word count: 1k

Warnings: angst, anxiety, ptsd, mentions of death and torture, sensory overloads but also fluff

A/N: behold, i actually wrote it. try prying filter coffee from my cold dead hands but since chai is more popular, i included pakorey to compensate even though it’s tasteless and i hate it

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

1.

He’s not usually one for soft blankets.

Hell, for the longest time he’d find comfort on the cool tiles against his skin. Fevers stealing away nights of peaceful sleep, body aching from the stress of carrying all the sins of the world on his back.

Blankets were too soft, too gentle. It worked hard at his years of pain, felt almost completely strange against his skin. Too kind. He did not deserve the kindness. The harsh cold punished him in ways his mind couldn’t and he thought that maybe, this was his redemption.

2.

Coffee was dark, bitter, many a times lukewarm. It was hard to explain his inclination to this variation of it when there were so many more available in the free world. But things were constantly changing, there was never a rug that stayed long enough under his feet to initiate shock when it was pulled away again. And when for seventy years one of the only constants he has was this garbage, he stuck to it, hoping that it tethered him in a world that seemed like it was spinning out of control around him.

There was never any effort put into the drink. Usually grabbed off the desk from a lower ranking agent, or stale from day or two prior. Years later, coffee any other way was just too sickly sweet. Anything more than the cheap beans and water felt foreign on his tongue. Too luxurious. He doesn’t want to afford luxury, not when he took away the chance to experience it from countless others. 

The only exposure he had to coffee was a quick adrenaline shot before he’s sent out to wreck havoc quietly and maybe, that’s all he should be allowed to have.

3.

Silence was his best friend. If there was silence it meant that for a second, perhaps he could drown out the cries. Silence meant that he wouldn’t add a name to his list of redemption, it meant that his ears wouldn’t strain to hear what new serum they discussed injecting into him to improve efficiency. In the silence, it was just him. 

Did he love the silence or did he love the absence of noise? 

But he learned to pay attention to sounds, even when he’s out of confinement. He never felt like there was a moment where a sound is just what it claims to be. He paid attention for footsteps while leafing through books in the library, angry shouts in a crowd of squeals at a carnival, gunshots near the loud chatter of a construction site. He was always searching for more.  

If he focused on one sound, he risked ignoring the rest. He would never know peace.

4. 

With the number of times his nose had been broken, you’d think that he altogether lost his sense of smell. A several thousand times he wished he had. Old gunpowder, the cement dust from falling buildings, and fuck, he thought the stench of blood was the worst but one time he unwittingly catches the fresh scent of perfume before he kills the wife of a Hydra victim waiting for her husband to return home. It sears into his brain. He can pull it from memory even years down the line and the terror from that night drags him back into a spiral. 

It was an unlikely enemy. He didn’t even know how to explain it. 

5. 

Days with sensory overloads were common. His home for majority of his life was in the darkness; sometimes his body existed while his mind forced itself to think of something other than the cold. He always took time to adjust when he was pulled out of the ice, blinking and adjusting an environment different from the last time he opened his eyes. Years’ worth of distinction. 

His sensory attacks happened a lot more in Bucharest. At least now it’s down to about two or three a month. He remembers the newspaper clad windows and cowering under a blanket, hoping that the familiarity of darkness would stop it. 

There is so much around him all the time- seasons keep changing in front of him, wild hair colours and hundreds of billboards and he thought, God, sight has to be the worst of them all. 

He wore black. Constantly, everywhere. It gave him less to look at. 

He just wished that everything would stop. 

Years later, he’s glad it didn’t. 

6.

Things were different now. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” He doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s you. He’d recognise your voice anywhere. 

Bucky drags his eyes away from the lawn in front of him. There are flower pots you’ve arranged, filled with any kind of plant you find pretty. He finds himself spending hours looking at the bright pink carnations and the sunflowers he picked out. It brings a certain liveliness that he adores. 

“How many pennies do you have?” Lifting up the blanket, he offers you a place under the warmth beside him.

You settle down next to him, taking him up on his offer, nudging yourself under his arm. “I’d say I have enough.”

His body is a warm security against the cool wind that the storm brings.

The smell of rain on fresh grass is intoxicating. He’s long added it to his list of favourite scents, only next to the fresh waffles from the diner downtown.

Your hand extends a cup of filter coffee towards him. A content smile grows on his face. What initially was too sweet, too sharp, now is a lingering sense of comfort. He was damn near addicted to it.

He takes it a little too eagerly. 

“New sweater?” you ask, and he hums in affirmation. “Blue looks good on you.”

“Thank you.” It’s something he’s working on- accepting compliments. It won’t hurt anyone if he just accepted that some people like certain things about him, he was reminded over and over again by his therapist.

A stray droplet lands on his cheek. He closes his eyes. 

He feels your fingertips wipe it away softly. He leans into you.

Your hum of an old Kishore Kumar song reverberates through you, a soft melody to accompany the rain. He simply listens, willingly zeroes in on it.

The world has been rough for years but maybe this cup of coffee, fleece sweatshirt and the plate of pakorey beside you will be soft enough to help for the next few.

[matsbarzal]

#6 angst “just breathe, it's okay. it'll be okay." with mat barzal? 🥺

(also if you could make it gender neutral / non-binary reader for your favorite hopeless trans, I would love you forever 💙💙💙 but absolutely no worries if not!!)

angst #6. "just breathe, it's okay. it'll be okay."

word count: 1.3k pairing: mat barzal x gn!reader warnings: mentions of panic attack, anxiety

It wasn’t that you didn’t like going to Islanders’ events with Mat, it wasn’t that at all. Mat always stood by your side, eager to have you meet everyone, eager to introduce his partner to all his friends and fans. He always matched your outfits, always going out of his way to make sure the two of you looked great standing side-by-side.

It was the fact that all these events were so crowded, so overbearing, like you couldn’t walk away for five minutes without being hounded by the next person eager to talk about Mat, or about the Islanders’ success. You loved everyone you met, truly, but you could only last so long before the crowds, the noise, before everything finally just… got to you.

Mat knew how you felt about the events, knew that sometimes you just had to disappear into a bathroom, or out into the hall to catch a breather.

“Y/N’s okay, they just need a bit of a breather. Packed rooms like this and all these people aren’t really their forte.”

He never questioned your decision to take a walk, or a breather, constantly shooting you looks from wherever he was standing with Tito or Anders, eyeing you to make sure you were alright. Mat knew that crowds weren’t your thing, but he always tried to push you a bit, push you to get out of your comfort zone, push you to do things you wouldn’t have done without him.

It was something you appreciated immensely, especially because Mat always knew when enough was enough and that the push and the encouragement were going too far. Until tonight.

Casino Night was always one of the biggest events of the year for Islanders’ loyalist fans. And it was one of Mat’s favourite events out of all the one’s the team hosted throughout the season. He always said something about helping kids and knowing the money was going to a good cause made it worth dealing with loads of people for one night, something you had to force yourself to agree with.

That’s how you found yourself here, dressed to the nines and pressed into Mat’s side as he introduced you to people you didn’t already know. The room was slowly becoming more and more crowded as you both weaved your way in and out of groups of people, stopping occasionally whenever Mat recognized someone from previous events.

You could feel the anxiety starting to bubble up inside of you, your stomach churning every time a polite smile crossed across your lips to greet another person. Your shoulders had been tensed up since the two of you arrived at the event, only to strain more and more as the night slowly dragged on.

“You okay, love? Your hands are shaking, wanna go for a walk?”

Shaking your head at his worsts, you gently squeezed his hand in response, a tight smile lining your lips. “I’m okay, just getting a little overwhelmed. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

Pressing your lips to the edge of his cheek, Mat smiled brightly and squeezed your hand a little tighter, pulling the side of your body flush against the side of his. It didn’t take long for him to have to depart from you, his services needed at the Blackjack table to relieve Anthony of his duties for the next hour, promising you that he’d be back the moment he could get away.

Anthony smiled in greeting as he approached you, standing off to the side, observing the event.

“Big turnout tonight, eh?”

“God, you’re so Canadian. Eh?”

Laughing, all Anthony did was shrug as he looked around at his teammates and fans, the chatter evident in the room, the music from the stereos not blocking out the sounds of people enjoying their night.

“You having fun? Barzy said you weren’t the biggest fan of big crowds and huge events like this, but that you promised you’d come an’ shit. Just lemme’ know if you want to escape for a little bit at all, I know the perfect hiding place in this place. Mat and I dipped like… six times last year to go hide and shotgun a beer in peace,” a sparkle was evident in his eyes, a grin taking over his cheeks as he reminisced on the year prior.

Shrugging your shoulders with a small nod to your head, you surveyed the people around you. “It’s nice, I’m happy it’s all for a good cause which makes it worth it. Maybe I’ll go toss some money into Matt’s basket, see if I can steal Syd’s husband and convince him to bring their baby with him for the day.”

“They really know how to make some beautiful kids, huh?”

Nodding your head with a laugh, Anthony just grinned as he bid you a quick goodbye, maneuvering himself around you and towards the agent that was eagerly trying to get his attention.

Peering around you, you realized you didn’t recognize any of the surrounding people. Mat’s teammates were all at their stations, the few that weren’t were catered up to the front, the bidding war for a day with an Islander about to begin.

You could feel the skin on your arm start to itch, the air flowing through your lips becoming shallow as you tried to make out your surroundings. The feeling of your legs tensing up just another indication that you had to get yourself out of the room, and quickly. Which is how you found your legs moving before your brain could even comprehend what you were doing, pushing yourself out of the exit of the hall and towards the closest bench you could find.

Trying to calm your breathing through your nose and your mouth were impossible, the pace becoming quicker and quicker as you gripped the edge of the bench, your knuckles going white the harder your hands clenched. Every time you let out a breath of air, you could feel as it scratched against the dryness of your throat, your stomach churning as the nausea began to take over, the tears swimming in your eyes and making it impossible to make out anything, or anyone in front of you.

You jumped the moment you felt a hand on your arm. “Hey… hey. It’s okay, it’s alright. Just breathe, it’s okay. It’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

Pushing yourself closer into Mat, you felt his arm wrap around you gently, his hand gently caressing up and down your back as he whispered calming words into your ear. His fingertips were light as they feathered across your back, your brain trying to focus solely on that and the sound of his voice.

“It’s alright. It’s okay, I sound like a recorder, but it’s okay. We’ll go home, it’s alright. Everyone will understand, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone, especially when you still barely know anyone. I’m sorry.”

Shaking your head, you gripped onto Mat’s head tightly, aggressively shaking your head as he looked at you worriedly.

“It’s not your fault, I just… I hate crowds. So much. There were too many things going on at once, I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize how overwhelmed I was until it was too late, I’m sorry.”

The panic was still evident in the way your hands shook, the shallow breaths that continued to fall from your mouth as Mat held onto you gently, the way your throat was dry and sore, the heaviness in your eyes evoking a headache almost immediately.

“Why don’t we go to Denny’s? Or like… anywhere other than here? I’m bored anyways, how do some pancakes sound? Or some waffles? Maybe a parfait if you’re feeling a little frisky?”

A small laugh fell from your lips as you nodded your head at him, his kind eyes and his kind words convincing you that everything would be okay. His endearment and willingness to sit there and hold you as you calmed down, to sit there and whisper kind and soothing things in your ear the push you needed to get up, to follow him wherever he wanted to go next.

note: i hope this was perfect to your request, love!!! thank you for requesting, and i hope you enjoy <3