#sea cucumber phone

[rassicas]

Is this true? Showed my friend your recent blog...

I don't think that's necessarily true... let me gather the Phone Lore I could've sworn I'd translated and posted this one excerpt from the artbook but I guess I didn't?

Chunky and User-friendly Sea Cucumber Phones The worldwide craze of this mobile device all started with the youth of Splatsville. At first, the many antennas made it troublesome to use, but the “seriously, you can get a connection anywhere,” level of communication quality led to its rapid increase in market share. With its enhanced functionality in conjunction with the lobby, it has become an indispensable device for battles. (The Art of Splatoon 3, page 151)

The phones were also asked about in the april 2023 dev interview with Famitsu

---Is there any reason why there are so many Sea-Cucumber Phone users in Splatsville? Inoue: Those phones, the sturdiness and the strength of the antenna, which can be connected anywhere, make it suitable for the Splatlands, so it has a significant share of the market.

What we can gather from this is that connection out in the Splatlands is Not Great, and without Grizzco's influence, the phones were already super popular.

This reads more to me like "use your device that you already have to conveniently find a job!" rather than "buy this phone." I feel like i've seen job hunting service ads in japan that look like this.

[commandertartarsmoocher]

[insert detailed post about the many parallels between Octo Expansion & Side Order here]

[st4rguy]

SEAMONSTER!?

[darewolfcreates]

Big run results are in.

@crazy-fox2 got 140 and gold was 141

[splootdoolies]

letting my agent 8 enjoy a lil vacation in splatsville!! before he is subjected to The Horrors (side order)

[pop-n-schlock]

A bunch of Kikura doodles... she is so cool I love drawing her

[rottenzombrainz]

Tokyo Debunker; silly headcanons for each ghoul!

Just little silly traits for each ghoul. They're not meant to be good or bad, just silly!! :3

Frostheim

Jin Kamurai - Jin has a one-of-a-kind limited edition Hello Kitty lighter with a pink flame.

Tohma Ishibashi - Tohma's the type of guy to say "it's a quarter to one" "it's half past nine" "It's three eigths past six" etc.

Lucas Errant - Luca has absolutely no grasp on satire. Like, imagine Kaito showing him one of those "blink if you need help" videos and Luca is just like "Kaito?!? Why are you laughing?!? This person needs help!!"

Kaito Fuji - Kaito unironically likes "I'm 14 and this is deep" content.

Vagastorm

Alan Mido - Alan wears the same Halloween costume every year. Every single year. If it gets damaged or doesn't fit anymore, he just buys a new one that's the exact same.

Shohei Haizono - Sho would be really into collecting designer shoes. Bro probably has an entire wall of fancy basketball shoes.

Leo Kurosagi - Leo will just randomly say "*sucks teeth* Don't worry I'll edit it out in post" during normal conversation. You'll never know if he's actually recording or not

Jabberwock

Haru Sagara - This is already kinda canon, but Haru definitely falls for any and all scams. He probably buys things like dehydrated water and a treadmill even tho he's running around Jabberwock all fucking day.

Towa Otonashi - Towa loves gnarp gnarp alien cat videos. He loves them. immensely.

Ren Shiranami - I feel like Ren would have a really hard time pronouncing certain words like "anomalous" and "anemone" (just like me fr)

Sinostra

Taiga Hoshibami - Taiga would really easily fall down YouTube rabbit holes. Like he'd start off with watching a firearm review or something... and two hours later he's seventeen parts deep into SpongeBob conspiracy theories

Romeo Lucci - Romeo is deathly afraid of piss. human piss, animal piss, dirt ( he thinks it's all just worm poop...which it kinda is).

Ritsu Shinjo - Ritsu is one of those people who can't sleep if there is a single spec of light.

Hotarubi

Subaru Kagami - I feel like Subaru would have one mobile game on his phone that he's reached level 844 on or something. Something like a word puzzle or match three game.

Haku Kusanagi - Haku fucking loves cunty scene crunkcore music. S3R3L, Millionaires, 3OH!3. Inside, he's just a pretty rave girl.

Zenji Kotodama - Whenever he plays online games, Zenji would mistake NPCs for real people. I feel like he'd also say "thank you!!" to virtual assistants too.

Obscuary

Edward Hart - Ed would fucking love those Tiktok videos with the TV show clips and subway surfers gameplay at the bottom.

Rui Mizuki - Rui has an uncanny obsession with the Sims 4. He has all the dlcs, an entire hardrive of mods, hundreds of save files, and is a top creator on the Sims 4 Gallery

Lyca Colt - I think it'd be really funny if Lyca had a pollen allergy. Especially since Obscuary is full of plants.

Mortkranken

Yuri Isami - Yuri is incredibly bad at ice skating and roller skating. He always falls on his ass, bruises something, takes a bad fall, etc. Which is the real reason he hates going to Frostheim!!! /j

Jiro Kirisaki - I feel like Jiro has one thing that he just absolutely loves that isn't medicine. a special interest, one might say... And it's probably the most niche thing ever too. Like sea cucumbers. imagine - he just fucking loves sea cucumbers. You're getting your health checkup and you ask him "read any good books recently?" and he's like "Yeah, I read this book on sea cucumbers the other day" and then you just have to listen to him talk about sea cucumbers for the next 20 minutes.

[fatkish]

Aizawa x Autistic Cat Quirk Reader 2/3

(Again artwork is not mine, I found it on Pinterest)

The link for part 1 can be found below

(Now let’s continue)

After the Boss’s wife took charge and interfered with (read as: lovingly made sure your socially awkward and shy ass wouldn’t pass up a perfectly good chance to get with a ‘handsome and sexy man’) your love life and set you up for a date with the scruffy yet handsome Pro, Aizawa texted you two weeks after the exchange asking you out to lunch on a Saturday.

After freaking out and panicking for a good 30 minutes worrying about what to write back you texted back a thumbs up emoji followed by “yes”

Aizawa gave you the details for what day and time he’d come pick you up two weeks before your planned date and told you not to stress about anything and that if you were more comfortable meeting up outside the cafe then he’d be happy to pick you up there.

Needless to say two weeks went by fast and you couldn’t sleep that Friday night and started getting ready 5 hours before you were supposed to meet. You did your hair after taking a shower and put just a bit of makeup on to hide your tiredness and to accentuate your eyes. You dressed up in cute and semi-fancy outfit that was still comfortable and made sure to bring your keys, wallet, phone and your preferred fidget.

After you and Aizawa met up he took you to a food stall and got you something to eat and then took you to an Aviary/Aquarium.

After you got your tickets and entered the place you latched onto his arm sticking to his side. Due to the various stimuli and being in a new environment you were rather nervous and anxious. When Aizawa saw this he took a pamphlet with a map of the facility and led you through the place guiding you so you didn’t have to think or take in your surroundings, just walk and he’ll guide you.

After some time of walking and dissociating from your surroundings, Aizawa led you to the Kelp Forest exhibit. When he told you to look up you were greeted with this

(Picture of Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Kelp Forest Exhibit. Picture courtesy of google. This is the only big Aquarium I’ve ever been to and can be found in Monterey Bay California. If you visit the Aquarium’s website you can see live cams of the exhibits. Also most of this date is going to be heavily based off my experience at the Aquarium)

The view was amazing and and the lighting made it look magical. Your eyes pupils dilated as you took in everything. You walked up to glass and watched as small schools of fish swam passed, lager fish swam and maneuvered through the giant stalks of kelp. Small sharks passed by as you took it all in.

The sight of everything made your mind go blank as you watched in awe. All your anxiety vanished as you watched the kelp sway.

Aizawa walked up to you and simply observed your reaction happily watching you fixate on the large exhibit.

After a few minutes you grabbed his hand without realizing and began moving onto the next aquarium in the exhibit. You guys saw octopi, various different kinds of fish and invertebrates and even got to learn about the Kelp Forest environment and all the animals that take part in this ecosystem. You pointed out the moray eels and their faces staring them in the eyes.

After a bit you guys went to the next exhibit which was the coast line.

You guys walked through the small shark exhibit and the sea bird exhibit that showed different kinds of birds and where they nest. (Aizawa had to pull you away to keep you from jumping over the glass partition and hunting down the birds)

Next you both moved onto the tide pools exhibit where you could pet the stingrays and touch the various creatures that are found in the shallow tides such as starfish, various sea weeds, sea cucumbers, purple sea urchins, small sea anemones, decorator crabs and other small creatures.

Aizawa used this as an opportunity to get insight on what kind of textures you do and don’t like. He even chuckled whenever you got excited and your tail began to sway.

After that you guys moved onto the Splash zone. This exhibit showed you how the waves interact with the coastal rocky landscape and how the animals react and what it looks like.

When the wave mechanism for the splash zone dumped the water to imitate a crashing wave you jumped and grabbed onto Aizawa and tried to scurry away only for him to hold you in place and wrap his arms around you.

After calming you down from being spooked you both walked outside onto the overhanging balcony and outside theater. You both walked over to the railing and looked off into the distance seeing the coastline and the far off boats.

When you went back inside you guys went to the jellyfish exhibit. The tranquil atmosphere and nearly thoughtless movement of the brainless creatures was almost enough to put you both to sleep. You both moved on before you could fall asleep in the middle of the exhibit.

The next exhibit was the open ocean. In a giant tank there was hammerhead sharks, giant tuna, sea turtles, various kinds of rays, a few sunfish and different kinds of sharks.

At one point you fixated on a particular fish and followed its movements and even tried to grab at it when it swam by only for you to remember there was thick glass separating you. Aizawa took a short video on his phone recording your little experience.

The same thing happened when you saw the anchovies and Aizawa had to hide his laugh as you circled the round tank chasing a particular anchovy without realizing what you were doing.

After the open ocean you both went to the tropical exhibit where various different types of fish and corals where on display.

You guys talked about how interesting it would be to take a field trip with his students to the place to learn about the various environments and potential hero-ing and how to handle certain situations.

When you entered the tentacles exhibit you got to see various types of cuttlefish and other cephalopods. Aizawa told you about his one student who would probably enjoy this exhibit.

After that, it was The Deep. This exhibit was designed to show off how the aquarium used its research and technology to explore the sea floor.

Here you got to take a look at what the researchers found and what it’s like to take a dive in their research subs and what kind of stuff you’d see.

Here you were able to see creatures like wolffish and other deeper water inhabitants.

You suggested to Aizawa that it would be a great opportunity to exercise different types of underwater rescues and different types of situations where his students would be in a similar environment and how to go about it.

The more you talked about it the more Aizawa began to see the potential for you to be a teacher. Or at least a guest speaker. As you continued to spew word vomit about the topic he realized how important it would be for his students to understand and gain experience interacting with people who were Neurodivergent and had similar disabilities and cognitive difficulties/differences than them.

After that you guys went to the penguin exhibit as you continued to come up with different situations for his students to learn from.

At the end of the day the last exhibit was the sea otter exhibit. You both watched the otters play and dove into the water. After a bit you realized you had been talking most of the time and had genuinely forgotten to keep boundaries in line.

Fearing that your display of your natural personality would be a turn off for Aizawa and that you ruined any chances of getting together with him you began apologizing rapid fire.

Aizawa was quick to reassure you that he had a good time and would love to continue to get to know you. He told you that he didn’t mind your Autistic tendencies as well as your feline behavior.

After you guys left the aquarium you both decided on a time to meet up again and have dinner.

Aizawa made sure to walk you home as you rubbed your face against his arm.

Once you got to your door you turned around and pounced on Aizawa catching him off guard and nearly knocking him over. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and nuzzled your cheek against his head. Aizawa smiled and scratched you behind the ear as you purred and began grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and kneading it.

After you said goodnight you closed and locked your door and immediately went to bed having drained your social and mental battery.

That night you slept well and Aizawa smiled as he headed to his house to get ready for patrol.

That’s it for part 2 and I plan to make a third. Thank you for all the likes and hope you guys enjoy this one too.

(Sorry @atsukawolfcat if I didn’t tag you. I don’t know how but I hope this is right)

[dellalyra]

𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙮 - 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴

ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

A/N: a request from my angel @soraya-daydreams <3 and an homage to episode 3

CW: fluff, mutual pining, Suguru can’t handle this anymore, hints at spice so mdni.

“So… are they always like this?” The young Riko Amanai asks Geto Suguru, who’s sitting beside her on sun lounger on the beach as they watch a lanky white haired being chased by a cackling young woman, who was waving a pile of seaweed at him.

“This is mild.” Suguru rolls his eyes.

“And they’re definitely not dating?” Riko asks, disbelieving.

“Nope.”

“But? They’re completely in love with each other?” Riko presses.

“Yup. Have been since day one too. Dumbasses.” He rolls his eyes. He laughs to himself thinking of the tissue he passed to Satoru earlier, nosebleed effective immediately the second you walked out in your swimwear.

“Dumbasses.” The girl agrees, nodding her head.

Geto takes his phone from his pocket and opens the video camera app.

“Riko - will you say what you noticed about Y/N and Gojo?” He asks, pressing record.

The girl smiles and faces the camera.

“These two are completely in love, it’s so cute! He’s obviously like, crazy about her - the way he looks at her is just the cutest! She’s like - constantly looking at him too, she started blushing so much earlier when he fixed her hair I thought she’d faint.” She says, as she points to the two figures still running around the beach.

Geto stops recording and sends the video to Shoko, knowing she’ll definitely get a kick out of it.

Meanwhile, down the beach - you had just been tackled into the sand, a large pale hand grasping the back of your head as you tumble down.

“No! No more seaweed for you, young lady! You’re too dangerous, it’s a weapon above your grade.” Satoru says as he uses a beach to take the slimy plants from your hand and whoosh it back into the ocean.

“Give it back, asshole! I found it, so it’s mine - and if I want to throw it at you then I will!” You say as you (fruitlessly) try to wrestle out of his grasp.

“Absolutely not! Nope! Look, it’s gone now. I’ve disarmed you. Submit to me, wench.” He laughs as he leans in to tickle your sides.

The voice in your head whispers that you’ll submit to him any day, and in that moment you’ve never been more glad nobody here can read minds.

That thought seems to click something in your mind as you realise the position you’re now in.

You lay, flat on your back on the soft, warm sand as Satoru hovers over you, thighs caging in your hips and arms pinning your wrist above your head. You feel your face flush, and you feel his breath on your face take a sharp intake as he obviously snaps out of the sunny reverie too.

He lets go of your wrists, quickly covering his flush with a smirk and a joke. He takes a moment to admire you, shining in the sun and all your curves and edges looking tantalisingly soft - every inch of you sheer, lust-inducing perfection to him. He whips his head away, staring any longer would cause consequences that his thin swim shorts wouldn’t be able to hide.

“If I find a sea cucumber, it’s on sight.” He says, poking your nose and trying to hide the slight tremble in his hands as he rolls of you and picks you up to toss you over his shoulder. He thinks you might be the only person capable of flustering him this much, he’s Gojo Satoru - the strongest, incapable of being demeaned. Yet with you, he’s just Satoru.

He likes that.

A lot.

You squeal as he begins to run with you over his shoulder to where the others are sitting. Riko making a sandcastle with Kuroi nearby, and Geto sitting eating some sushi from the store you got your day’s supplies.

After your (fruitless) fight, Satoru sets you down on the second sun lounger so gently, as if you were a feather, and pats your head. You place your big floppy sun hat on your head, to afford you some protection in the midday rays and reapply some sunscreen to your arms and legs. As you squeeze the bottle, you notice it says that it’s not waterproof.

“Satoru! C’mere, since you were in the water you need to put more sunscreen on!” You say, beckoning him to sit by you, to which he eagerly obliges and plonks himself on his knees on the lounger.

He lathers some on his arms and you can’t help but look out of the corner of your eye, the lingering sea salt and gloss of the cream made his pale skin shine and emphasised the toned muscles of his arms, and the defined lines of his torso - he’s been playing so much basketball lately, and it’s clear the training has been paying off. His physique in first year had been much more boyish, both of you only 16 at the time, and now - at almost 18, you can see all traces of adolescence leaving him.

You’re snapped from your trance by a snort coming from beside you, and a smirking Geto Suguru seems to be the culprit - you scowl at his jeering, embarrassed he caught your staring.

Satoru snaps the bottle shut.

“Eh? Satoru, you didn’t put any on your face!” You say - poking his nose.

“It’s slimy! It’s not going on my face!” He protests, pouting.

“You will burn! You’re far too fair to be without sunscreen! Infinity doesn’t keep out UV rays!” You argue.

“I don’t like how it feels on my hands! Nuh-uh, no way! Not wearing it!” He says flicking the bottle toward you, like a stroppy toddler.

“Okay - how about if I do it?” You try to reason.

He considers for a second.

“Fine. But just so you stop pestering me.” His nose scrunches.

You squeeze a little on your fingers and you hear the buzz of his infinity come down. You warm it on your fingers and lean in to him, gently rubbing it into his enviably soft skin, careful to avoid his eyes as you go. You try not to flush cherry red at the way his sparkly eyes never leave your face as you sit so close to him, you think the heat must be getting to you because you thought his eyes flicked down to your lips at one point, must be dehydration.

You add a tiny bit more to the tip of his nose and then smile.

“All done!” You smile, trembling hands being tucked away.

Satoru seems like a man in a trance.

“Ya’ know, you’re gonna make a great mom someday.” He says, voice low and soft - a glimpse of the gentle, vulnerable Satoru you’ve been honoured to witness.

You smile, your heart full and butterflies swarming - your mind immediately thinks ‘hopefully to your kids’ and images of white haired cherubic babies come to mind.

You giggle, and he smiles.

“I hope so, I want to be.” You shrug.

The moment is broken by one Riko Amanai.

“Alright lovebirds and professional third wheel, it’s time to go to the aquarium!” You and Satoru just apart at the accusation and Geto grumbles about not being a third wheel, but you all stand up anyway.

This is her day.

You slip your sundress on over your bikini and before you can lift your beach bag, Satoru slings it over his shoulder without a word, just a dazzling smile to make you weak at the knees.

The aquarium in Okinawa is stunning, a wide range of species housed there and lots of feeding shows and wildlife to see.

Geto wanders to go find you all food, and you decide to give Riko and Kuroi some time to themselves. You grab Satoru’s arm and pull him to sit on a bench overlooking the manta rays.

“They need space. We need to look after her but, they need time. Kuroi is… almost like a big sister to her.” You say, and Satoru nods.

“I just don’t get how she’s so okay with it all.” He says.

“It’s all she’s been raised for. This is what she knows, and she believes in his destiny. In that way, I think she might be the bravest person I’ve ever met.” You say, eyes following the girl at a distance.

“Is it what she wants though? What if she changes her mind?” He asks.

“Do you think she will?”

“She should at least have that option.”

“Are you saying what I think you are, Satoru?” You ask, turning to face him.

“I think we give her the option.”

“If she refuses, the higher ups will lose their shit. We’ll be targeted. Blamed.” You say, voice serious and low.

“Does that bother you?” He looks at you, a smirk on his face.

You can’t help but smile back.

“Nah. Fuck ‘em.” You say, nudging his shoulder with yours.

The rest of the day was spent in the aquarium. Satoru couldn’t keep his eyes off you when a worker asked if you wanted to hold a starfish, and the light in your eyes was so bright he was in awe. You showed Riko, and using a small amount of your cursed energy, politely asked the starfish to lift an arm to wave at the girl who squealed and jumped up and down and asked if she could give it a high five, to which you nodded. You looked so happy, so beautiful - he thinks he couldn’t possibly love someone as much as he loves you. He thinks he’d like to bring you back here sometime.

You were in much the same boat, the blue light of the water reflecting off Satoru’s hair and eyes entranced you like hypnosis, you couldn’t tear your eyes from him - marvelling in the smiles he gave you when you pointed out a pretty fish. His laugh made your soul bubble every time he pointed at an ugly fish and turned to Suguru saying ‘bro look, it’s you!’.

The day came to a close and you all went your separate ways to your hotel rooms that night, all of them part of the presidential suite that Satoru had rented for the night. Suguru’s eyes flicked between you both, as he said goodnight and left, leaving you standing on the balcony with Satoru.

“Not your bedtime?” He says, poking your arm.

“Nah, I want to savour this for a while longer.” You say, smiling and looking over the ocean view, soft summer breeze stroking your hair in balmy warmth.

“The view?” He asks.

You look at him, and smile softly - if anyone had seen you they would have clearly seen the purest love reflected in your eyes as you looked at the boy beside you.

“All of it.” You say.

He smiles back, and takes a chance and stretches his arm around your back to pull you into his side. His chance pays off, as you lean your head on his shoulder and sit to watch the moonlight bounce off the gentle lapping waves of Okinawa, bathed in comfort and joy.

Suguru peaks through a crack in the door, and sees your head leaning on his best friends shoulders. Smiling, he whips out his phone and snaps a photo. Maybe, the never ending wait for you two to confess your love wouldn’t be much longer.

5 years later, Okinawa aquarium had four visitors on a warm summer day. A tall, broad and muscled man with white hair and dark sunglasses had his arm wrapped around the waist of a shorter woman in a sundress, kissing the top of her head as she smiled at the fish before her - she was giggling, head thrown back when he pointed to a sea urchin then to the little boy by his other side, which seemed to greatly displease the young dark haired boy beside them, as a brunette little girl joined in on the giggles and snapped a photo of her brother on a disposable camera beside the tank of urchins.

ᴿᵉᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵈᵉᵈ ᴸⁱˢᵗᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ

ᴴᵘᵐᵐⁱⁿᵍᵇⁱʳᵈ ⁻ ᴹᵉᵗʳᵒ ᴮᵒᵒᵐⁱⁿ, ᴶᵃᵐᵉˢ ᴮˡᵃᵏᵉ

[clannfearrunt]

I was reading abt holothurins on my phone and I switched to discord for all of five minutes and when I went back to my holothurins tab it had been replaced with a beginners guide to learning toki pona instead. Are the sea cucumbers telling me something

[dogtoling]

possibly a dumb question but do you have any idea why all the inklings started using flip phones in splat3 when they had smart phones in the last one? it's been driving me crazy. like. why did they go backwards in time. i know it's probably just aesthetic but ???

there actually IS a reason for this, it's elaborated on in the third artbook!

the sea cucumber phones are supposedly sturdy and simple to use which makes them popular, but the biggest reason that they're so widely used in the Splatlands is that they can pick up signal even in the middle of nowhere, which is kind of a big deal living in a desert. All of the nubs on the lid of the sea cucumber phones are actually antennae! It means they work well even in environments where normal phones would achieve absolutely nothing, like wastelands or the deepsea.

[rassicas]

I found a kamabo co poster with an eye symbol on it(the square). There is an ad that has a big eye on it in splatsville ....

Is Tartar literally advertising ?

Is this foreshadowing????

Mr. Grizz knockoff

I believe tartar was advertising, especially in the octarian world, and i imagine that was how it acquired some of its test subjects. There is a kamabo ad in the haikara walker artbook on page 191. none of this is ever made super clear though.

but i really don't think the posters in inkopolis square in s3 are foreshadowing, but the opposite, they look old and torn, i think that's just showing what was there. tartar was destroyed in s2 and side order i think makes that fact clearer since that story is all about the recovery of the sanitized octarians. as for in splatsville, are you sure it's a kamabo co poster? do you have pictures? there's a few signs i can think of in splatsville that feature eyes and arent kamabo. The only kamabo-adjacent thing in s3 i can think of is the sea cucumber phones, with the logo being the same on the CQ cards and text being in deepsea script

but i dont think tartar has anything to do with this since it is Dead, but rather some other company in the deepsea (likely related to CQ Cumber).

[meringuejellyfish]

FIRST PERFORMANCE AFTER OTH WORLD TOUR 💕🎶🦑🐙

i filled my sea-cucumber phone with like a squillion videos. booyah! so fresh <(◕‿◕)> ♡ LOVE YOU OFF THE HOOK! #pearlandmarinaforever #offthehookooklive

(sorry the audio is a little quiet, just had to be there haha!)

[real-mr-grizz]

*I walk into Mr. Grizz's office holding a sea cucumber phone in front of me* Hey viewers, for my 100 subscribers special, I'll be speedruning getting fired from grizz co! Yo, Mr. Rizz! I believe in salmoniod rights! Imagine having fur, couldn't be me!

I'm scheduling you on more shifts, you clearly lack experience, it would benefit you to be out in the workforce

[gobblinhours]

wtf are even sea cucumber phones if they can function as a vr headset that can suck out people's souls

[fastfur07]

It's Not Fresh

Finally getting back into fic writing? Maybe? I dragged this out of my drafts after someone's encouragement, so please enjoy.

Salmon.id pred, unwilling prey.

Of all things, why did they have to get a charger?

The Inkling had been excited to start their first shift at Grizzco. Mowing down Salmonids seemed simple enough, especially with a team to fall back on, but their assigned weapon was already draining their confidence.

Salmonids began slithering up onto the shore, and the employee hesitantly took aim. It was only the beginning of the first wave, but they were already overwhelmed. They didn’t know what to aim at, and what if some of the little ones snuck up on them while they were distracted? Their coworkers fanned out onto the exposed ground, not noticing a little squid climbing up to the highest point, too far from the action to be useful, but safe.

Could they snipe something at this distance? They caught sight of a Steelhead menacing one of their coworkers, but their shot fell short. The same happened when a Snatcher carried off some eggs. Dejectedly the squid looked back at the egg basket: the team wasn't going to make quota without their contribution.

They were going to have to face their fears. The employee took a deep breath, trying to convince themself that it wasn’t that stressful, and their coworkers would help them if they got in trouble. Mustering all their courage, the squid shuffled forward and prepared to step off the tower.

They were interrupted by a frying pan colliding with their head.

Slipping on ink, their head throbbing, the Inkling scrambled to sit up. They were staring at the scaly underbelly of a Cohock. Their gaze floated upward to see it staring back, eyes bulging and bloodshot. Some kind of grin formed on its misshapen mouth. The employee instinctively shrank into squid form and tried to swim away, but found themself scooped into the pan and lifted out of their ink.

Terrified as they were, the squid was unable to change back and defend themself. The Cohock dragged its tongue across its crooked teeth, before its maw gaped open. The employee only had a split second to realise what the Salmonid was planning before they slid out of the pan and fell, sliding across its slimy tongue and being forced down its throat with a wet gulp.

Finally regaining their powers of speech, the employee screamed and thrashed as they were shoved deeper into the darkness, enemy ink stinging all over them and a fishy stench overpowering them. Their coworkers were too far away to help them; why hadn’t they just gone with everyone else? Trying to keep from bursting into tears, they squeezed their eyes shut and waited for the inevitable as a disgusting belch rumbled around them.

Two weeks later

"Hey, check this out."

Leaning over to peer at the screen of a sea-cucumber phone, our Inkling was not prepared to have a terrifying memory resurface. They were looking at a crisp, level, award-winning-quality photo of a Grizzco employee's boots sticking out of the mouth of a Goldie, which looked surprised, but ultimately pleased, as it swallowed the rest of them. Two employees were in the background: one was getting on with business as usual, unfazed, while the other actually looked enthusiastic about their coworker being devoured. 

"... What the shell?"

"I dunno, everyone's been sharing these kinds of photos lately. Look." The Octoling holding the phone scrolled down, revealing photo after photo of employees allowing themselves to be eaten. One was diving from a Fish Stick into the gullet of a Maws, another had a Chum latched onto their head, and a third was in swim form being fought over by two Smallfry. There was a long silence as the two examined the photos, before the Octoling spoke again.

"...It's honestly kinda-"

"Being eaten alive is not fresh."

"I wasn't going to say that," the Octoling stressed. It's kinda, uh… impressive? To set it up and take the photo. I mean, the likes are rolling in. People must really like this stuff."

"How long have you been seeing it for?" the squid ventured.

"About two weeks," the Octoling replied.

The Inkling got up and gave a parting gesture, heading for the lobby exit. It was just a coincidence. It had to be. Employees probably got eaten by Salmonids all the time. It couldn't have anything to do with their own "incident", right? The question kept haunting them, and eventually they concluded that the only way to answer it was to investigate the trend - but with no leads, all they could do was ask around.

The Inkling asked everyone they saw, in the lobby, around the shops, even in matches, but couldn't find any real information. All anyone said, when they had any idea, was that they had seen those kinds of photos all over the Internet, but couldn’t identify the people behind them. It was only after a while that the Inkling accepted the fact they had subconsciously been trying to avoid: they were going to have to go back to Grizzco.

Unfortunately, they couldn't muster the courage to ask anyone while they were waiting for the shift to start, preoccupied as they were. They also couldn't say anything in the helicopter, nor in any of the three waves, where they continued vicariously participating, but remembered to stay with the group this time. Then, as the clock ran down and the final wave ended in a success, the Inkling finally took a deep breath and prepared to get their coworkers' attention. 

They were interrupted by a wail from overhead.

"Horrorboros? Oh, this is gonna be gold!" someone said. "If we can get up to that thing's mouth, we'll be famous."

"Who has Inkjet?"

Our Inkling didn't even have to look to know they had Inkjet.

In only a few seconds, the squid was in position at the highest point on the map, waiting for the King Salmonid to launch a bomb and leave its mouth open to fly in. They couldn't believe it - they'd had the perfect opportunity to talk to the people who were posting the photos, and now they were about to be the subject of one! But they had to do it, or they wouldn't be told anything.

The Horrorboros loomed closer, its bomb almost primed, and turned toward the trembling Inkling, who could barely maintain their balance, much less their composure. They heard their coworkers hurriedly preparing for the shot, and looked down. Everything seemed to be going to plan, but why were they staring back up with such an urgent expression? The Inkling looked back at the gigantic Salmonid just in time to see it launch its bomb straight at them, and sprang into action. 

They didn't remember exactly how it went; when they returned to the ground they weren’t sure if they had been revived or simply recalled from using Inkjet. They definitely remembered their boots skidding along the slick tongue of the Salmonid, and the sharpness of its jagged teeth, and the plume of its rancid breath, and the endless depth of its pulsing throat, but everything else was a blur.

Whatever had happened, the squid felt strangely calm, at least calm enough to keep up appearances while they returned to the foyer and the photo was uploaded. They had to agree it was a masterpiece: if you zoomed in a little, you could clearly see their resolute, almost heroic expression, along with how tightly they were gripping onto the Inkjet's handles. 

"Wow, this is really blowing up!" remarked the photographer, showing their phone around. "Oh, I almost forgot to tag you! What's your handle?"

"Oh, I'm not on social media," the Inkling smiled. "In fact, I was wondering how this trend even got started."

"Oh, you don't know?" another coworker chimed in. "Couple of weeks ago, someone got eaten by a Cohock while doing a shift. They didn’t even get splatted, they kind of just… sat in there, until the rest of their team took it out. They seemed really scared, but everyone else was like 'Yo, that's sick! Way to stick it to the man, huh?' So we all started taking these photos, and it became this kind of protest against Grizzco. Although, now that I think of it, it must have been kind of traumatic for that first person."

"Yeah," the squid replied with a fake laugh, "sucks to be them."

The end