#sdv ass gang

[sofiaruelle]

Idk if your avoiding spoilers or not but when I saw Sam's winter glow up I immediately got excited to see your reaction to it

Hahahah nope not avoiding any spoilers. I am living vicariously through people playing because the update is not available for the ipad yet. 😭😭😭

Samson Samsonite Sammy Sam Sam boi. Looking saur baby gorl 💅 with his lil beanie. I'm mostly surprised he was able to fit all that hair underneath his hat hahaha. Also can't help it but also draw his other 2/3s.

[kaybzzart]

Natural 20 babyy !!

ASS GANG playing DND (+ Aaron the farmer)

Much fun drawing that, such a cool bunch this a.s.s gang

(part 1)

Closeups under!

[lucy-the-demon]

A random drawing I made

A shitpost perhaps.

Where are youuuu

[madamsillygal]

yeah, i like ass

abigail (child), sebastian (daddy), and sam (daddyyy 2)

[egggargler]

SUPER SUDDEN but i was drawing and I randomly had a vision of Sam in a VERY old artstyle that I never use anymore. No idea where it came from but its very silly okay goodnight

[evillex11]

I just realized I didn't color seb's tattoo (I use pink as a base color) but ykw ? the pink tattoo is cute I'll keep it for now x)

[lily-alphonse]

Skip to the chorus and tell me this isn't what Sebastian would sound like if he was the lead singer of Goblin Destroyer. Brb losing my mind to this daydream. 🫠 Tell me you see (hear??) the vision

[sdv-maru-appreciation]

I like how you think!

I want more bisexual woman of colour in stem in my media please, SDV has shown me a world of possibilities and I demand the world to deliver!

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Okay so i wanna see some more headcanons of the farmer ready to kick someone's ass so how about this:

Someone who is jealous of the farmer or like someone on like the enemy side, decided to kidnap their spouse to try and either ransom them or lure the farmer out, thinking it will be an easy win.

Then suddenly the next moment, the farmer already arrived before they could send a message to them (either the farmer got help from Mr.Qi or they track them down themselves), absolutely filled with rage and is now seconds away from beating the kidnapper.

How would the SDV/SVE bachelors and bachelorettes react to that?

I probably got the fastest rush of inspiration because holy cow, this is such a funny and cool scenario. Thank you so much, dear anon, for your ask! Enjoy! 💕

_____________________________

The bachelors/ettes reaction to their kidnapping for revenge/ransom, where their spouse Farmer, furious, comes to rescue them

SDV bachelors/ettes:

"You're demanding... 500 gold bars for me? I'm worth twice that, you know, even more! That's just insulting..." The kidnappers had already regretted their scheme before Farmer arrived to rescue Elliott, because the writer's outrage is already giving them a headache. Even with a gag in his mouth he's still talking! And just when they think the day can't get any worse, Farmer arrived quickly and kicked their asses. "Can you believe it, they only asked for 500 bars for me! I'm worth more than that, right dear?" Elliott was indignant to the core. Farmer grinned as they freed Elliott from the ropes, confirming that he was worth much more than that.

Sebastian did not think that in such a situation he would feel so... annoyed. Sure, being stolen by strangers had instilled fear at first, but when the leader of the gang started telling a self-pity story about how "I deserved everything, not Farmer, now I've stolen their lover and they're gonna pay!", Sebby thought the leader was some kind of cartoon villain. How absurd. Farmer who came in a couple of hours later also looks annoyed when the leader started telling their "villain arc". But before they can start, they get a fist in the face from Farmer, going straight to the realm of dreams. This was where Sebastian chuckled, at least something here was funny.

Shane's kidnapper was confident and said with a snide smile that either Farmer paid 500,000 gold for Shane or Farmer would "get their spouse in pieces". "800,000 gold and I'll ask Farmer not to kill you specifically." The kidnapper was a little taken aback by those words and the fact that the chicken man was completely calm. It was as if he didn't care. When the leader heard the noise and shouts of his minions, whose voices were quickly silenced, he turned to Shane in a panic and pleaded: " I only have 100,000 gold! Please, mercy!" "Alright, deal." Enough for the coop upgrade that Shane and his spouse have wanted for a long time.

"Heyyy, chill bro. Let's just talk, ok?" Unfortunately, Sam's smooth speech was met with only a rude "shut up, worthless musician!" in his direction. "I'm actually pretty good on guitar... So rude.." he muttered. When Farmer, angry as an ox, entered the room where their husband and the leader of the kidnapping "party" were, the kidnapper tried to soften the situation for themself. "They called me a worthless musician." The kidnapper turned around in horror at a smirking Sam. "And they also hit me." It wasn't true, but the kidnapper was already pale as ghost when Farmer turned red with rage after Sam's last words.

"Let me go now, or I'll kick your asses!" Though the ropes around Alex were tight, the athlete was unwilling to give up without a fight and continued to break free. "Shut up! You're going to pay for what your stupid Farmer-" "Don't you dare say that about my spouse!" The bravery was commendable, but the kidnapper was losing patience by now and wanted to send him into a knockout. But ended up knocking out themself as they didn't notice Farmer behind them. "What an asshole. I would have punched them!" Farmer reassured their really angry husband, as if it was Alex who was saving Farmer from bandits, not the other way around.

"Oh, Yoba..." Harvey would never have thought he would be kidnapped by anyone, but here he is - tied to a pole, surrounded by the six thugs. "Now we have to send a letter to that Farmer, and wait for the ransom, hehe. Easy money!" Harvey had been here for half an hour and was starting to get a little worried, but then he saw something in the distance that helped him gain confidence. "I hope, my friends, you stole my first aid kit too." "Need a sedative, doctor?" The leader didn't even have time to laugh at their own joke before they felt a chill run down their spine and turned around to see Farmer, sword in hand and an angry look in their eyes. "Not for me. For you."

Neither the gag nor the ropes helped - Abigail, irritated and angry, kicked, bit, punched and screamed as hard as she could, not giving her captors a moment's peace. Even with her sword taken away, the fighting girl put on quite a show, which made the bandits decide that the idea of ransoming Farmer wasn't such a great idea anymore. They were just thinking of letting Abby go free when Farmer came in, just as angry as their purple-haired wife. Abigail took back her sword and stood beside her spouse. The kidnappers made a note that they (if they survive) vow to themselves not to steal any more adventurers.

"So much negative energy around you... My friend, you can't live like that!" No matter how much the kidnapper tried to say that Emily wasn't their friend, but enemy's wife, the blue-haired girl insisted on helping her captor. Yes, she realises she's been kidnapped, but the lair she wasn't kept in was so dark and stuffy that of course this poor person is only thinking evil thoughts! Farmer who had made a huge hole in the wall with a furious punch had at least brought in some light. To the villain lying unconscious, Emily would leave a note with "get well soon!", diet tips and exercises for mind and body.

The criminals who had kidnapped Haley decided that if they were going to get any money for the already-not-so-easy job, they were going to spend half of it on hearing care. Because Haley was screaming so loudly that it looked like the kidnappers' eardrums had already burst. Plus the girl didn't spare her manicure and scratched the gangsters' hands, and someone's face. The leader was already tired, but Farmer literally breaking through the wall of their lair made it clear that it wasn't the worst yet. And Haley, freed from the ropes, ran to hug Farmer. Of course she wasn't afraid, for she knew her spouse would rescue her!

Penny sat as quietly as a mouse, afraid to anger the two thugs guarding her cage. She still can't understand how she was just walking from the farmhouse in Pelican Town to get groceries and a minute later she was kidnapped and ransomed from Farmer for 100,000 gold. Yoba, she's so scared, where is her spouse...? The answer to her question was not long in coming: Farmer kicked open the cell door, knocked out the guards, and took Penny in their arms as they both left the room. The girl was still scared and confused, which made Farmer want to kick the kidnappers' arse again. But their beloved wife came first, everything else - later.

To Leah's credit, before the gang of kidnappers could tie her hands, the artist managed to knock out two of them and throw a sculpture hammer at the head of the gang leader. Even being kidnapped, the girl did not lose her courage, giggling a little at the leader, who, already with a bump on their head, goes back and forth and promises that she and her spouse will pay for all the "humiliations they have suffered in the past". What those "humiliations" were Leah didn't have time to ask (and didn't really want to know) before Farmer broke into the room, knocked out the rest of the bandits and put another bump on the leader's head. All this to Leah's cheers. She wasn't scared at all.

Maru kept calm and thought of an escape plan. "Okay, no big deal. I memorised the path when they dragged me here. Now I need to break the ropes on my arms, sneak past the guards, turn left and-" Maru couldn't think of her plan any further as her spouse, furious at their wife's kidnapping, kicked the wall completely and started punching all the bandits left and right. "Oh, alright then." Considering she had only been kidnapped for less than half an hour, Maru didn't even have time to be frightened before she was already free, making her way around the kidnappers who were lying on the ground unconscious.

SVE bachelors/etter:

To be completely honest, Lance wasn't even that angry at his captors so much as he was slightly ashamed that he, the second in command of The First Slash Clan, had allowed himself to be captured by the amateurs, even if they had used magic for this. He made a note to himself to resume certain training. The pink-haired man already wanted to burn his ropes with magical fire, but his beloved spouse Farmer, agitated and angry as a swarm of wasps, kicked all the bandits' asses with sword and magic. Lance broke his ropes and joined the fight as well, though at first, the adventurer wanted not to rush his release, but to watch Farmer in battle with admiration and love.

"Again?" No need for Magnus' kidnapper to be so surprised - he is already old wizard, so he's seen a lot of things in his life and has been kidnapped before. Once even by mages from Gotoro, but that's a story for later. And while the kidnapper was able to take the wizard by surprise and strip him of his magic, it wouldn't work that way with his dear spouse. To which the villain shouted "I'll take away the Farmer's magic too!" Maybe, but Farmer would just start beating them with their bare hands. Which is exactly what happened half an hour ago. The enraged Farmer didn't leave a wet spot on the poor fella, so Magnus even cast a healing spell.

"Scared, white collar? Will you call your mommy for help? Or your spouse? Ha!" In any other situation, Victor would really be shaking with fear and not understanding whether the kidnappers would really hurt him if Farmer didn't pay for his ransom. But his spouse was Farmer, a man who just yesterday had slaughtered a hundred serpents at Skull Cavern as if it were a routine outing. "I'm afraid you're the one who's going to need help." And immediately after those words, Farmer burst into the room, angry and covered in blood (not their own). The kidnappers were pale, and Victor hurriedly closed his eyes, because he'd never seen Farmer so angry before. Which meant the bandits would get hurt. A lot.

"This is outrageous! How dare you take me against my will and steal my jewellery! Dragging me here, in this damp and filthy place where rats run around! Disgusting!" If the kidnappers were expecting cries for help, tears and pleas for mercy from Olivia, they will be quickly disappointed. She's a combative woman, and even huge bullies can't intimidate the ex-Joja accountant. She's dealt with worse, believe her. Well, the thugs think they'll at least get their money's worth, Olivia's dressed rich. Yeah, right... they'll just get a hit from an angry Farmer who turned up as soon as they found out where the bastards had taken their wife.

"They will pay... For all my creatures of darkness that they destroyed in Badlands, for all their exploits that made me unable to take over the Valley. Farmer will pay. And you're going to help me do it! When they come for you, I'll- Hey, are you even listening to me?!" Please forgive Claire, but the poor girl was so tired (work + family) that she slept through both her kidnapping and the gang leader's speech. The cashier woke up already when she felt someone carrying her in the arms. Her spouse looked at Claire with a smile, saying that she should immediately take a vacation and rest. Lying on the ground criminals, unconscious? Um, that was... part of a dream, yes. Just a strange dream.

"I advise you to let go, because when the Farmer comes here, you'll be sorry." At Scarlett's attempts to reason with her captors, the gang only mocked the girl. "We're waiting for Farmer, dumbass, it's an ambush!" Scarlett just sighed tiredly and waited - she had no choice. The bandits had already set traps everywhere, but Farmer was not only good at fighting, but also smart, and made an ambush on the ambush. Then caught the kidnappers off guard and kicked everyone's ass. "Warned ya," Scarlett even felt a little sorry for the bandits - they wouldn't be walking normally for a while.

Not knowing what was happening, trembling at the predatory grins of the strangers, Sophia cried quietly, trying not to make too much noise so as not to anger her captors. The villains haven't had time to get the ransom yet, and already they're arguing over who gets more gold. Farmer broke through the wall, shocking everyone. The tears on their pink-haired wife's cheeks were enough for Farmer to see red, and all the kidnapper-losers were knocked out. Before Sophia could even realise what had happened, she was already, freed, clinging to he's spouse's neck as Farmer carried her in bridal style. "Just like a fairy tale.... 💖"

[sofiaruelle]

Another commission for the lovely, @flowerandthesongstress of Sam, Sebastian and Abigail enjoying the afternoon sun.

The companion piece.

my commissions are Open!

[kaybzzart]

The ASS Gang ??????

(Headcanon for Sebastian is that he is so extra he wears fake vampire teeth)

[lily-alphonse]

Originally inspired by this post

Harvey: "Endoscopy equipment is not to be used for stealing food from the vending machine!"

Abigail: "Then what is it used for?"

Sebastian: "..."

Sam: "Okay, but can we try one more time? We were really close!"

@lily-alphonse sent me the photo below and I got brain worms about drawing it as an exasperated Harvey saying that to the troublesome trio. Blame her for its existence! x3 (jk) <3.

[lucy-the-demon]

Got the himbo/Golden retriever boy!

He's a fucking idiot but we love him anyways.

[coolcoolglasses]

SDV Fic and Art Masterpost

Hiya! I'm Gin, a writer and cartoonist. I use this account (@coolcoolglasses) to post my things as well as anything I am interested in! If you'd like just a feed that only reposts my art or fic updates though, please follow @heygingerdee.

All of my Ao3 work can be found here: coolcoolglasses

Pomegranny Farm is a Villager-Forward AU that my bud @floopthecooper and I share! Sometimes we both write, sometimes it's solo! Pelican Town oozes plot hooks, ripe for comedy! I adore the @diversestardewvalley mod and most of our villagers use DSV variants. These stories are in no order because we like the ride, not the destination.

Operation: Get Marnie A New Man (ongoing, holy cow) Marnie deserves better so Shane and Abi team up to throw the whole man away! It has everything! Pelican Town History! Character origins! Secret diaries! And the burn is so, so slow! Featuring: Marnie, Lewis, Marlon, Shane, Abigail

Call Me (complete) Cut content from chapter 29 of Operation Marnie. Leah's a little gremlin. Featuring: Leah, Elliott

Book Signing Comics (complete) We design the covers of "Camellia Station," "Planet Yazzo," and "The Blue Tower." Featuring: Elliott, Jodi, Kent, Leah

Vincent's Super Scary Spirit's Eve Story or: THE SCARY ATTAK OF THE GHOSTS (complete) Vincent writes a creepypasta. Featuring: Vincent, Harvey

PF stories by just me, @coolcoolglasses

Alternative Medicine (hiatus bc OGMANM overtook my brain) Harvey: God damn it I have an MD. Emily: RU SURE ABOUT THAT!? Featuring: Harvey, Emily, M. Rasmodius

A Worthy Goal (complete) A wholesome midlife crisis panic attack. Featuring: Harvey, Elliott

I'm Really Proud of You, Man (complete) Sam is really proud of Shane. Feat: Sam, Shane, Morris

PF stories by just my pal @floopthecooper

Just Friends Bein' Pals (Definitely Not Bein' Jerks) (complete) ASS GANG PRANKS Featuring: Abigail, Sam, Sebastian

Scenes From A Pelican Town Restaurant (ongoing/temp hiatus) A "hold my beer" tale of an alarmingly-relatable blacksmith's fumbles through love and identity. Featuring: Elliott, Leah, Emily, Clint, The Farmer

Smalldew Valley (updates when prompted) Miscellaneous fics spurred by prompts. Featuring: David, David Jr., The Farmer, Linus, Marlon, Welwick, the Witch

Shell Game (complete) Elliott writes a (bad) creepypasta. Featuring: Elliott, Leah

Non-Pomegranny Stories

Pomegranate Sorbet (vanilla SDV, complete) Gossip at the ice cream stand. Featuring: Elliott, Alex, Haley

Broken Hearts Club (vanilla SDV, incomplete) Atypical Farmer comedy-horror story! Farmer Chad Scallions used the Dark Shrine of Forgetfulness so often on the villagers that their brains don't work so well anymore. Also, the ghost of grandpa haunts the farm!

[superpyodan]

superpyodan's SDV playlists masterpost

i have a ton of sdv-related playlists (all on spotify) and wanted to share them in one big post that i can add to my pinned! i will add playlists if i make any more :D

fic playlists:

boys will be boys

abby/haley

find your way home

frog rock

everybody's cool (except for me)

kenny's playlists:

his main playlist

ecefm-adjacent playlist

character playlists:

alex

sam

ASS gang karaoke night

[5blondeboytoy5]

Also sdv LIs ranked :)

okay strap in i’ve got opinions

separating by m vs f i lean m and can’t compare some of them yknow? i’ll let you know my fave and least fave

men…

1. SAAAAAAAM my darling dearest light of my life fire of my loins samson my absolute favorite beloved number one man i love you i love you i love you… every love song i listen to i think of samson i have playlists named after him i have aus constructed around him i am incredibly unhealthily obsessed with him he is in every universe he is love we have two kids and they’re both named he’s so sweet and i want to save him

2. sebastian, god he’s so losercore patheticcore disgustingcore i love his entire vibe. i know ive jokes about him and sam being different versions of whit/kylar but while i think you have to bend and dig deep into sam to make him a bully like whitney (which i think sam could easily be characterized as a troublemaker i digress) seb is one hot bitch moving to the valley away from being a disgusting stalker that jerks off with your panties and peeks in through your window i love him he’s such a loser and i don’t want to save him

3. alex, i know he’s the most unpopular bachelor but i really think he’s just trying his best - I KNOW I KNOW there’s some icky lines from him but there’s something so endearing about him… he reminds me of kevin from daria, he’s so simple and i know he just thinks with his dick

4. elliott, he’s fine, solid 5/10 like i understand the appeal to him - he’s romantic, and sweet, and dreamy, but he’s not for me. but again i see why people like him

5. harvey…. kinda the same reason as avery/eden in the prev ask im not into older men and he’s clearly in his 40s…. he’s just boring i just don’t quite see him but im not a hater toward him

6. shane. now, yknow elliott and harvey aren’t for me but im not an elliott/harvey hater. I AM A SHANE HATER FOREVER hes ugly and old and stinky and i know he’s flawed and you can save him but i take so many issues with his character like….i know alcoholism is a disease and addiction is terrible and all that but the fact that he has legal custody of jas and continues to drink and throw his life away and force marnie into raising her EVEN AFTER HES SOBER AND LIVING WITH THE PLAYER and idk. i just do not vibe with fucking an alcoholic parent and i think haley gets so much shit for being mean and shane gets away with it scot free. i just do not like him at all and i wouldn’t hate him half as much if he wasn’t the most popular bachelor. fuck shane all my homies hate shane

now onto the women…..just a preface i like all of them pretty much ???? like think of them all above elliott in my ranking because i think they’re all lovely

1. EMILYYYYY SWEET SPACEY AQUARIUS GIRL (in my heart) i love a weird girl i love how esoteric her heart events are also i sew too and so does she….she’s the bachelorette i identify most with and i love love love love love her

2. abigail….i can’t not. the ass gang is so near and dear to my heart they’re the stupid shithead friends you make in high school in your stupid podunk town and i just. god she’s such a cool girl….but i love her more in a best friend way than in a make out with me way

3. haley… i just love her vibes and i think her development is a lot more interesting and also is a victim of misogyny…. i just feel like her narrative is so different as a girl character because to me haley is unlearning internalized misogyny and learning how to be understanding and loving

4. maru… i love a dorky nerdy girlie in stem and i love the dynamic between her and seb (which is how ive mostly experienced her mostly) and how interesting their family dynamic is. anyway, maru is the friend i made in my honors classes in school but we had nothing in common but she’s so sweet and nice that i stick by her side

5. penny, the other bachelorette i relate the most to (i work childcare irl) and i think her and pam and their dynamic with alcoholism is infinitely more interesting than shane. but, i feel like penny is just….too delicate and domestic i want so much good for this girl

6. leah - no hate! no hate fr! i just never ever see her because she’s always in her cabin! but also i love her because she’s artsy and cute but i just don’t know her like that!