#scully's not bad looking either

[freckleslikestars]

Favourite X-FILES Episode Countdown {16/24} 1.13 | Beyond The Sea

[rosenkranz-does-things]

first of all i love ur art so much and your x files art has made me start watching x files again! when i stopped watching my favorite episode was quagmire bc i was obsessed with nessie as a kid, but i was wondering, what do u think about this ep? :o

hi! thank you so much! 🥰 oh Quagmire is one of my favorites! I feel bad for the dog (Scully couldn't even take care of one tiny pup, this woman should never be a mother), but that Chekhov's gun was ready to fire the moment Scully named him Queequeg. nominative determinism got him 😔 but also knowing that Gillian resented the dog because he was stinky makes it funnier. anyways! the episode! love that Scully gets to drive for once (and a boat of all things!). I love that she knows her cryptozoology even now that's she's an Adult and a Scientist.

this scene where bait for the mysterious beast turned out to be not good enough-

and the beast chooses a different bait, reminds me of these glorious shots from The Terror

also this sums up the show so well. it may not be what I believe, but it's not what you believe either! it's a secret third thing (an alligator)

also ooh look at their dyke swag

but I'm getting distracted. oohh look a cormorant! sorry getting distracted again

getting stranded on a tiny rock in the dark with your coworker who talks about cannibalism. and they say romance is dead. but also, cannibalism aside, this is what the show is about. the two of them in the dark, searching for the elusive truth which is just in the walking distance, but they can't see it. this is why I don't understand people complaining about the show being too dark to see. that's the point! you're not supposed to see. neither are they.

and the Big Blue? it appears the moment they turn their backs. the truth is out there but they'll never find it.

I have many thoughts on this episode, especially about the closing scene, but this post is already getting too long. anyways. Quagmire is truly one of the greatest episodes in the whole show

[aloysiavirgata]

Will you write me a post-Fight Club fic? They’re bruised and beat up and I want to read about it.

Kersh had said Sweet fancy Moses when he saw their injuries and ordered them either home or desk bound until such time as they would not terrify small children with their countenances.

***

Scully slouched against the wall with an ice pack on her face. She did not want to be here, but she didn’t want to be anywhere else either. People stared and she hated it more than she hated paperwork. She had practically worn a groove in her apartment floor from caged pacing.

Mulder was using a tape dispenser to grind Excedrin tablets into a powder. He rubbed it on the insides of his swollen lips like cocaine.

“Ow,” he observed. He didn’t get the fun medications until he went home, which he didn’t wish to do because it was boring. He carried his injuries with a certain swagger.

“I thought Mr. Saperstein was going to show you some in-your-face, smack-down moves so you could quit getting your ass kicked so often,” Scully said.

Mulder scowled at her. He grabbed a pad of paper from the desk and wrote YOU’RE LOOKING PRETTY ROUGH YOURSELF XENA. He tapped at it until she looked up.

“The Lorax is coming for you, Mulder,” she warned.

He was finding it difficult to talk clearly with a wired jaw but, because he found it impossible to refrain from making smart remarks, he was on his third legal pad.

WELL EXCUSE ME BUT I WASN’T EXPECTING TO HAVE TO EITHER TAKE A CANE TO THE JAW OR PUNCH AN OLD LADY

He added a frowny face and several exclamation points to emphasize the complexity of the situation.

Scully examined her reflection in the back of a spoon. Either Lulu or Betty - Scully couldn’t remember which thanks to the concussion - had launched herself off the ropes and onto Scully. She had led with her forehead.

“Burt Zupanic,” she mused, readjusting the ice. “Of all the men to fight over.”

SWEET-ASS PERM, Mulder noted, unhelpfully.

She laughed, which hurt. Most things hurt at present, her pride included. She’d already had three cups of coffee this morning, but after surviving all her various maimings, Scully was confident her organs could handle it. She emptied the pot into her Stanford mug.

Mulder tapped her arm. HEY I AM ORDERING SOME CLAM CHOWDER FOR LUNCH. DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?

“Clam chowder through a straw, ugh, Mulder. Besides, you’re not supposed to have anything with chunks in it.”

THEY ARE BLENDING IT UP FOR ME. MILKSHAKE OF THE SEA.

She gagged a little. “That’s vile.”

PROBABLY. IF THEY MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE ABOUT US I THINK WE SHOULD NOT MENTION THIS PARTICULAR INCIDENT.

As though he actual movie had been so much better. She cringed every time she thought about it. At least the COPS episode conveyed her reluctance and irritation. “Pinky swear.”

He held his own finger out and she hooked hers around it.

THE PACT IS SEALED

“Hey Mulder?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you want to get the hell out of here, go take some of the really good painkillers, curl up in my bed in our underwear, and watch bad Lifetime movies until we pass out? I don’t have chowder but there’s leftover tomato bisque with your name on it.”

FUCK THE CHOWDER LET’S ROLL

They were out the door before the ink dried.

[actual-changeling]

there's just something about bad blood and the way all their problems are put on display and hidden behind a thin veil of comedy to the point where most people just. don't see it.

scully is NOT having a good time! at all! any attempt at trying to bridge the gap is literally swatted away.

mulder doesn't refer to them as "we" and scully has to remind him several times that this isn't only about him, she's just as deep in this as he is. they're a team, even if he's somehow become incapable of remembering that.

in her version of the story, the way the sheriff behaves towards her is exactly how mulder usually does: he listens, he values her opinion, he actively seeks out her thoughts, he respects her as a scientist and a person and they physically meet in the middle.

it's not just funny haha or a coincidence that they placed them all this way. it's entirely intentional. the fact that the sheriff calls her dana just really drives the point home because yeah, he never knew her name—but mulder does. he knows her name and he used to call her that as a way of emotionally connecting deeper than they usually do.

do you remember the last time he did that at this point because i sure as hell don't, and i won't even start talking about the general decline throughout the first half of season 5.

just look at the physical distance between them. she leans in with her entire upper body and you could still fit another person between them. mr and mrs "we have to be in kissing distance to talk or we will die" are not whoever it is we are looking at.

i won't even get into how he very much does not touch her neck at the end compared to when he was feeling her up in "ice" in that stupid closet. and don't get me started on how he treats her like his personal assistant instead of an equal. go do that, no i don't give a fuck that you're hungry or tired i want you to do that autopsy now, yes i will do fuck all while you do that, no i don't think that's unfair, why are you still here go do as you're told.

she calls him out on it and he just doesn't listen, and then she goes and does it anyway because she loves him too much for her own good sometimes.

and none of this is to say that mulder is being intentionally malicious, he very much isn't (at this point, season 6 is a different story). but while he was careless from the beginning he still cared. he genuinely needed her and wanted her around, he wanted her to be happy and was more protective than he should have been. i have my own theories on why his behaviour changes (which would be a separate too long post if people are interested) and in the end there were several moments throughout season 5 and this episode that should have given him pause. mulder just isn't thinking about her like he used to, and that's why he's so uncharacteristically dismissive and cold towards her.

she tried to talk to him about it (so much. she tried so many times and so hard) but he wasn't listening. by then it would have taken her getting kidnapped or shot or otherwise hurt for him to get ripped back to reality and realize what he was doing, and even when that did happen it didn't actually change anything.

it's only when she intentionally and willingly attempts to walk away from him that he jumps into action but THAT is also a different post entirely.

anyway, bad blood is one of my favourite episode and i do think it's funny as fuck and i enjoy watching it. there's just more to it than one might realize on the first watch.

to end this on a good note, here's something that doesn't change in either of their stories: he still loves her and when he does look at her she's all he sees.

flaws and all, they're stuck together and choose to come back to each other every single time.

[xf-cases-solved]

today we are sitting in our office at 6 in the morning thinking about...

that scene in "squeeze" that everyone knows by heart, where mulder asks scully, "do you think i'm spooky?" and it's very cute and weirdly sexually charged like all of their interactions are, but also that scene is really important to their character development actually??

this is episode three, and with the understanding that these two are unhinged and kind of speedrun the whole "i would die for you, you're everything to me, you jump i jump, etc" thing, ostensibly they're still getting to know one another, and, more importantly, mulder's still trying to gauge if scully is hashtag legit. like, his gut tells him that, yes, for some reason the fates aligned and made it so the shadow government fucked up real bad and actually sent him an ally instead of an enemy (and also she's not hard on the eyes either, just sayin'), and also she held a security operative at gunpoint for him just one episode earlier, so i think by this point he does genuinely trust that she doesn't have a secret agenda

what he is LESS certain of, however, is whether or not she is going to want to stick around once she fully understands just what a fucking bummer it is to be fox fucking mulder, resident hoover building loser. like she is this literal genius agent and medical doctor, who's professional and hot and kind, and she could easily have an extremely promising career ahead of her, and he doesn't think she understands just how detrimental it is for her to go all in with him. and this case, with these by-the-book buddies of hers, is the first time they are really facing that issue head on

going back to the aforementioned scene, mulder is testing her. through that whole bit, he's testing her. ("why didn't they ask me about the case?" "bc they're my friends and they're more comfortable with me" "why would i make them uncomfortable?" "bc of your reputation" "rEpUtAtIoN?? who has a reputation???") like he is trying SO hard to get her to stop talking around the issue and just say "they think you're a fucking freak, mulder," which ofc she won't, which is why, when she gives him the perfect set up with, "they think your theories are..." he IMMEDIATELY swoops in and asks, "spooky?"

and then he looks her in the eye and asks, "do you think i'm spooky?"

and he says it in his joking tone, but i fully believe that there is a genuineness there. he already knows before talking to colton and his cronies how the conversation is going to go, and he doesn't care, bc he doesn't care about their opinions, but he DOES care about her opinion, and i think that scares him. i think it's been a very, very long time since he last gave a shit about what someone thought of him, and he's extremely uncomfortable. i think that's why he goes so hard just seconds later with the straight faced "aliens are actually grey" thing with colton. he doesn't do it to taunt colton, or for his own amusement, but bc he wants to show scully flat out, "this is what they think of me, and this is how i am going to act in response. can you handle it? can you handle being a social pariah? or do you think i'm spooky?"

the theme comes up repeatedly in this episode, actually. he outright admits to being territorial over her, but in the same breath gives her permission to work on the case with colton instead of him, bc he KNOWS what a shit meal she's been served by the fbi, pairing them up together, but then she's like, "hmmm, idk, i think you must know more than you're saying and i wanna know what it is," and he is so delighted, bc not only does it mean that she's really committed to finding the truth, not just closing the case as fast as possible, but it also means that she's choosing him over them, and that N E V E R happens

but later in the episode he also makes the remark about how in thirty years she'll be "head of the bureau," which is another peek into his mind grapes, showing us that he's still very stuck on this idea that working with colton & friends is going to make her suddenly come to the realization of "oh wait, what am i DOING with this loser??" he's afraid of that happening, and he's afraid about the fact that he's afraid of it in the first place, and bc this is mulder and scully we're talking about, and neither of them are physically capable of saying what they're feeling, he just keeps making jokes and quips and being a dick to colton (who deserves it, but still), bc the alternative is admitting to scully, "hey, i really like your company and would kind of really very much like it if you didn't leave me for the cool kids agents," and he's not going to do that. not just bc of the vulnerability aspect, but bc he would view it as selfish, bc he fully believes that being stuck with him is bad for her (lol i wonder if that will become a theme throughout the entire series ha ha)

but anyway, turns out his worries are unfounded, bc it turns out scully will take being mrs. spooky over climbing the career ladder any day

"do you think i'm spooky?"

"no, i think you're a fucking nerd, now shut up get me my own desk. if we push them together we can play battleship, and then later we can get to know each other carnally"

or something

they're in love, your honor

this is only episode THREE

unhinged

[leiascully]

X-Files OctoberFicFest Day 25: Insomnia

When he can't sleep, he talks to her.

Sometimes she isn't even there. He turns on his side, stares into the dark imagining he can see her curled up in his armchair. His mind can usually fill in enough of her side of an argument to be convincing, but he always misses the real deal. The actual Scully always manages to surprise him with some association he hasn't made or some unexpected willingness to follow the wild path his thoughts tread.

Tonight she calls. He picks up the phone on the first ring.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she says. "I don't know. I couldn't sleep."

"Me either."

For a minute, she says nothing. He listens to the barely audible sound of her breath. He can hear her shift in her bed. "It was weird today."

"It was," he agrees.

She sighs. "I suppose in some ways it's a mercy that we're still upset by the things we witness. We haven't become jaded or too accustomed to it."

"Yeah." He tucks the handset between his head and the pillow and pulls his blanket over himself. "It's good that we're disturbed."

"Should we tell him?"

"I thought that was going to be my question."

"But Mulder, it looks so bad."

"I know." He shifts. "I don't know why Skinner thought buying a toupee was a good idea. Do you think he's dating again?"

"I hope not," she says. "I don't know many women who would be drawn to someone wearing what looked like roadkill on their heads."

"Or men," Mulder says. "I assume."

They're quiet again for a bit.

"We should tell him," she says at last.

"We should." He yawns. "If he expects anyone to tell him the truth, it ought to be us. I'll just say, 'Walter, you're a damn fine looking man. Put down the hairpiece and walk away.'"

"You might get a date that way," she teases.

"As long as he buys me a nice dinner," he jokes back.

There's more silence. It's the soft, gentle kind that soothes his mind like a wordless lullaby. He feels his limbs becoming heavier. His thoughts are slow and they drift away when he tries to catch them.

"Mulder." She's mumbling. "I'm falling asleep."

"Good," he says. "Me too."

"Are you going to hang up?"

"No," he says.

"Okay," she says. "That's good."

"Yeah," he says. "It's good."

He wakes up with the receiver still pressed against his cheek and sunlight just starting to sift into his apartment. On the other end of the line, Scully is snoring just a little. He smiles to himself and hangs up. He hopes her dreams were sweet.

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - A Ted Nivison x Reader (Lemon)

{{-Here we are folks. We've finally reached the first smut chapter, Chapter. I ain't gonna say much except definitely go and read Chapter 5 before this one cause it's somewhat necessary. All other chapters will be listed at the bottom. Enjoy 😊 pls don't ban me-}}

//General Warnings: 18+ Fic, Reader is implied to be afab and under 5'5

Chapter Warnings: PURE SMUT. IF YOU'RE UNDER 18 GO AWAY. Heavy kissing, fingering, Ted giving head, passionate shii, finishes inside, whole noin yawds\\

Word Count: 4.9k (y/w)

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 & @callsign-scully

☆Thank y'all for bein' as nasty as me LMAO☆

Chapter 6: No Cameras

Ted is looking at me with this stupid half-smile on his face, knowing full well he had caught me red handed. I'm scrolling through my panicked mind to find some sort of excuse that'll make sense, but I don't think I can talk my way out of this one.

"You fuckin' did, didn't you?" Ted asks, his smile only getting bigger the longer I take to answer. He's keeping his eyes on mine, keeping his hands on his laptop's mousepad to keep the light from dimming. I break the eye contact by rolling my eyes and shake my head. "Keep dreaming.." I mutter, trying to play off my clear embarrassment with a scoff. "No no no no, I fucking know what I saw! I'm not letting you avoid it this time." Ted chuckles, setting his laptop aside to sit up more in my direction. I turn away to turn on the lamp beside me. I feel like I need to see his face at all times, like something bad will happen if I can't see him. Maybe I want something bad to happen.

"'This time'?" I repeat, furrowing my brows at him. "When have I ever--"

"This afternoon, when we were stuck in the truck?" Ted raised his brows at me, giving me this 'I gotcha' expression. "I let it slide when you checked me out the first time; chalked it up to you playin' with me, now I'm not so sure."

"Playing with you?" I repeated what he said again. Seems repeating back what he's saying to me is all I can muster up, he's reading me like a book and I don't want to give him any more pages.

"Like our back and forths? I thought it was still just that, but now? I mean, pshh, if I'm wrong, tell me and I'll leave ya alone."

"Leave me alone?" I raise a brow at Ted while trying to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah. If I'm--If I'm just fuckin' crazy, tell me and I'll leave. I won't bring it up again tomorrow and we can...keep things as they are, I guess." Ted explained, gesturing to me. "But I don't think I'm crazy."

Remember that timer I mentioned? Now I feel like it's counting down from 20. I can practically hear the ticking in my head as I lock eyes with Ted once more. I'm trying to read his expression. I'm looking for any signs of how he's feeling as well. He's been saying things like 'why I couldn't kiss you doesn't need to be said at this rate' and 'we should be louder', but I can't recall him ever making a move. Our chemistry can't be denied, and neither can my attraction to him, yet I'm still having doubts. If I lie, he leaves my room and never brings it up again, but I may never discover how he feels, and all of this tension will fizzle out into an unsatisfying nothing. But if I tell the truth and he doesn't feel the same, the next 2 and a half weeks are going to be incredibly awkward. He could even quit, or maybe I'd have to quit.

I'm terrified of having the wrong idea about all of this. I don't know when or if the playful flirting became real, I don't know when or if the sarcastic pet names became real, but we've been sitting together, teaming up, going out to run errands, kissing longer than we should. I can't pinpoint a single moment where either of our teasing may have blossomed into something more.

But...it can't just be my imagination. There has to be more.

"I....may have glanced.." I admit with an embarrassed smile, looking up at the ceiling and turning my head away from Ted. I didn't want to see his reaction, but he certainly made it known. "Oh my god.." Ted playfully gasps, I can hear him grinning ear to ear, it's making me anxious "You like me! Do you like me??"

"...I gotta fix the curtains.." I mutter to myself, finding an excuse to get out of bed. I turn off the lamp first, a quiet huff leaving me. I still couldn't tell how he was feeling, and it was bothering me. Was he making fun of me? My face felt so warm, I didn't want him to look at it at all. "Oh no fucking way. Stay there, we're talkin' about this." I hear Ted chuckle and move around a little. "I'm not going fucking anywhere until I get some answers."

I move to open the curtains, taking a quiet but deep breath as I struggle to pull them apart. I have to lean over a dresser just to get to the curtains so I'm initially too distracted to hear that Ted was getting out of bed, until it's too late. I watch his hand take my arm so I'm forced to look at him, realizing he's practically got me cornered. Behind me is the air conditioner, and behind that is a wall. The only other place I can move to now is the bed, unless Ted moves.

"You can't act like it's all a fuckin' joke now. I gotchu, (Y/N). I gotchu."

"'Got me' what?" I huff with an embarrassed smile, once again avoiding eye contact as I remove his hand from my arm. "It was a glance."

"Oh you're gonna try and fuckin' lie now, eh princess? Not gonna own it?"

"Own what?"

"That you like me! You've given me the fuckin' kissing tell twice today! Off camera! What, you don't wanna kiss me now?"

"I wanted to open the curtains."

"You don't wanna kiss me?"

"Ted, I can't move--"

"You don't wanna kiss me?"

"I wanna get out of this corner--"

"Look at me then."

"Ted, it's the fucking tell for our film, it doesn't mean--"

"If it doesn't mean anything, look at me."

I roll my eyes and turn my head to face him once more, seeing just how close he had really gotten to me. His body was merely inches away from mine, and man, was he towering over me. It was a little overwhelming, I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. He's looking at me with that same devilish half-smile from before. I can't hold back the urge to smile, a light giggle leaving me as I force myself to break away from his gaze. I'm almost glad he caught me. He's so handsome. When he gives me those eyes, I panic. I can't look him straight in the eyes for too long. I feel like I'm falling right into a trap, but maybe I wanted to be caught. And yet I still try to talk my way out of it.

"Y-You were talking! I was just--I was listening to you talk." I huffed, shrugging with my hands out somewhat. I knew I sounded defensive as fuck, I couldn't control my tone. I was so nervous. Even with my body facing Ted, I couldn't look him in the eye. "You were talking. You were talking a-and I'm not gonna stare at you the entire fucking time you're talking. That's weird. Like-like what am I, a fuckin' owl?? Just staring at you?? No, you have other places--I have other places I have to look when someone's speaking! Doesn't mean I want to-mmmh--"

My ramblings are interrupted by the feeling of Ted's lips pressing against mine gently, one of his hands moving to my waist with the other resting upon my cheek. For a moment, I'm frozen in time. He's kissing me. He's kissing me again. There's no camera's and he's kissing me. I can't think straight. I can't think...at all.

That moment when you kiss someone

and everything around you becomes hazy...

And the only thing in focus is you and this person.

I allow my body to relax and return the gentle kiss, closing my eyes to slip into this intimacy fully. Ted pulls me in closer to deepen the kiss, almost hungrily so, like he's been waiting just as long as I have to be together again. By the time I got comfortble enough to move one of my hands, Ted breaks the kiss, keeping his hands on me. I open my eyes to meet his affectionate gaze, my lips still slightly parted from the kiss. Any and all anxiety I had been feeling has just disappeared. I feel...assured.

"Is that what you wanted?.." He speaks to me quietly with a light nod, slowly caressing my cheek with his thumb. I tried. I really tried. I tried not to 'catch feelings', I told Joe I wasn't sleeping with him, but my god do I want his lips on mine. I want to kiss him. I want him close. I want him to be mine, even just for tonight. I don't want him to leave. "I don't know.." I admit with a quiet giggle, lightly biting my lower lip. "You...might have to do it again...or a couple more times...just to see."

"A couple more, eh?.." Ted smirks deviously, moving his hand to firmly grab my jaw, keeping me still so I can't turn away this time. "You sure you want that? With everyone here?"

"'Everyone'? Please..." I playfully scoff at him, glancing down at his blush toned lips once more before gazing into his earthy eyes. "There's no cameras in here, Ted.."

Ted's smile grows, shaking his head a little at me before leaning in to kiss me once more. A satisfied purr leaves him when I don't hesitate to kiss him back this time. I once again find myself on cloud nine, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him into a deeper kiss. He moves his hand from my jaw so he can hold my waist with both hands, pulling me in closer to press his body against mine. He tilts his head more in the deep kiss, and I feel his tongue once again lightly glide along my lower lip. I slowly open my mouth to allow his tongue to move along mine, hearing him quietly snicker in the kiss in response. God, he's hot, and he knows it. He must know it.

When the kiss begins to pick up even more, I let a quiet moan escape me, bringing my hands down to cup his face. This makes him pull from the kiss briefly to look at me once again, his eyes lingering on my lips. My face once again feels like it's on fire and the butterflies certainly haven't left my stomach, but I know I want him. I know.

"That's so cute.." Ted purrs lowly and pulls me back into the passionate kiss, keeping up the pace from before. I felt his thumbs caressing my waist through the light fabric of my nightgown as I hungrily latch onto his blush toned lips, just like I desired to in his truck. He's mine. He's mine I say to myself as I pull him onto the bed with me. It's the only coherent thing running through my mind.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We waste no time. Ted and I move up a bit in the bed, our lips staying locked together until my head finally hits the pillow. His glasses eventually fall off his face and gently lands on mine. "Fuck.." Ted mutters with a light chuckle, taking his glasses and placing them on my nightstand. I giggle as he returns to the arousing kiss, a muffled moan escaping him. My cheeks and hands feel warm and the only sounds between us are our heavy breathing and our longing kiss. My arms once again wrap around Ted's neck when I feel him press his body against me once more, lightly picking at the back of his blue shirt.

"Patience, princess.." Ted whispers against my lips, planting one last deep kiss on my lips before beginning to travel little kisses to my neck. I take in a sharp breath, stiffening up once I feel his lips on my sensitive neck. "I've been patient enough. Take it off.." I grunt at him, starting to pull his shirt up a little with my nails. He lets out a mocking chuckle and pulls away so he can remove his shirt, simply throwing it somewhere in the room before returning to me, picking apart the buttons of my nightgown. I notice the silver chain he has around his neck, running my hands along anywhere I can touch him. I don't have the energy to feel embarrassed about my body, I feel like I'm burning up anyways, everywhere feels so hot, and the only thing that can cool it down is his touch. His touch. His touch...

He gets my nightgown off of me and throws it somewhere before latching back onto my neck. A more audible moan leaves me, but I quickly cover my mouth, quietly reminding myself that we're not alone in this house. The reminder doesn't last when I feel his hand sneak its way into my pajama shorts, sliding a finger in between my sensitive folds. I gasp and instinctively grab his arm, and I feel him grin against me. He's moving through this so fast, yet I have no real desire to stop him. "E-Easy.." I moan quietly, my whole body stiffening up when his thumb finds my clit. A jolt of pleasure surges through my thighs, I can feel my bud and my entrance reacting to his touch, pulsing, wanting, urging for it. Somehow, somehow, he knows exactly where to touch me.

"You were aaalll talk..." Ted purrs against my skin, moving up from my neck to look me in the eyes once more. He slides his hand away from my core to tug my pajama shorts down enough to be able to touch me freely. His fingers once again move between my folds, watching my physical reactions with amusement. "God, I've wanted to shut you up. You talk too fuckin' much." As he purrs at me, two of his fingers find my entrance and slowly slide into me, a gasp releasing from me. I playfully glare at him and bring my hand up to grab the back of his head, tangling my fingers in his dark locks before pulling him into a deep, sloppy kiss. I hadn't felt how wet he had really made me until now, his fingers effortlessly pumping inside of me. Everything he did to me felt so good and the only thing I could do was let him. I managed to slide my free hand down to feel him from over his sweatpants, and was he good and hard for me. I feel him groan in the kiss, and I snicker at him. I couldn't wait to take him. I knew it'd be even harder to control my voice once he was inside me. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad.

Ted's fingers leave my entrance and I feel him leave my essence along my thighs so he can hold himself up with both arms, breaking the kiss to once again guide his lips down to my neck, only this time he keeps moving. I feel my face getting hotter, instinctively bringing a hand up to touch my cheek and run my fingers through my hair. I'm a hot mess, I feel Ted's lips move further and further down my body, lapping up my breasts like he's worshipping me. "You needed this as much as I did, eh?" I manage to speak up in a soft tone, smiling ear to ear when I feel him spread my legs.

"I don't need your fuckin' commentary.." Ted growls in between my breasts, making a quiet giggle escape me.

"You can't shut me up, Theo."

"Yeah? You think thats what I'm doin'?" Ted's kisses reach my lower stomach before he readjusts himself to lift my legs up to sort of sit around his shoulders, his head now perfectly between my legs. When his lips and his tongue meet my inner thighs I feel my belly flutter with nerves and excitement, bringing one hand up to lightly bite my knuckle while the other rests on my lower belly.

He nibbles at my inner thighs before finally moving further in, allowing his tongue to slide in between my sensitive folds, my budding clit immediately reacting when the tip of his warm tongue glides along it. I reel my head back and moan out as he takes full control of my body from my core, taking in all of my alluring essence in his mouth. I feel like my body is being sucked out of my soul, like he's secretly been an incubus all this time, a master of a woman's body. He's commanding me to feel bouts of pleasure I've never experienced with a man before and I can feel my core aching for more and more. My hand reaches down further to grip his tall dark hair, a pleasurable laugh escaping me as he laps me up like a desperate hound aching for scraps. I can hear him moaning between my legs, his hands gripping my thighs and pulling me into him more. Ted's tongue dances inside me, subtly slipping along my entrance to taste my every desire more and more. I can feel his pointy chin lower down, his stubble against my folds, his lips massaging at my own, he just doesn't stop. His tongue finds my now throbbing clit over and over and over, back and forth, back and forth. My body is left, wanting, begging, pleading, praying for release until it finally pours out.

"Ted! Ted!! Oh my fucking god--Yes, Yes! Yes like that! I--"

It starts at my clit and spreads all across my body, Ted having to hold my thighs to keep me balanced. I struggle to hold in the never-ending waterfall of moans pouring out of me, so I slap my hand over mouth and moan into it as much as my body will allow. I'm absolutely drunk with pleasure and it feels like it could last for infinity. I stretch out my ankles and my hands as my orgasm crashes over my entire body, the overwhelming pleasure surging up into my brain, making me roll my eyes back and close them. I remove my hand from my mouth when I start to come down from its peak, letting him hear my desperate whimpers as the high of my orgasm starts to fade, leaving my clit feeling warm and sore. I've been aching for this all week, and finally, finally, I'm feeling all of this tension start to come undone. That might've been the most intense orgasm I've ever been given, and yet, he wasn't done with me.

I hear Ted moan to himself, watching with tired eyes as he wipes his mouth with his free hand. I got a glimpse at how wet I truly was, but I didn't even need it, I could feel it, especially when he fully pulled away from my thighs and the light air hit them, my essence had spread nearly everywhere after how he ate me out, and I loved it. "I can't get enough of you.." Ted purred, coming face to face with me once more so he could pull me into a hungry kiss. Even despite such a strong surge of pleasure, I can feel my body pleading for more, my core aching for Ted to finish what he started. It was agonizing not having him inside me yet. I was ready now more than ever. I was so desperate, I'd do anything he wanted me to just to feel him. I felt like I was under a spell, but truthfully, it was just from good fucking head.

"Please. Please.." I beg to him in the kiss, cupping his face with a needy moan escaping me when he breaks from the kiss to work at removing his sweatpants. "See? Couldn't shut you up even if I wanted to.." Ted grins devishly at me, leaning down to kiss and nibble at my jaw. A satisfied smile spreads along my face, leaning my head back and closing my eyes to continue enjoying his intimate touch.

"You're the one doing all the talking.." I moan softly

"You're the one makin' all the fuckin' noise." Ted grunts when he finally gets his sweatpants off, pulling back for a moment to toss them aside before returning to my body. "As much as I like hearing you flap your fuckin' lips all day..." Ted pulls me in closer by my legs, a surprised but excited gasp leaving me, causing me to briefly look down. My god, his size is perfect for me. All of that is going to fit so good inside me, I shudder out a breath and lock eyes with Ted once more. "...I like making you squirm even more." Ted towers his body over mine, holding himself up with one arm while holding my hips with the other.

I feel my entrance aching for him to fill it, a blushing mess when I feel him glide his shaft along my soaking wet folds, the tip brushing along my already sensitive bud from earlier. I moan out in surprise, closing my eyes for a moment and giggling. "Yeah? I bet.." I purr, opening my eyes to gaze at Ted once more, gliding my tongue along my upper lips. "You better not be all--" I close my eyes and moan suddenly when I feel his length push into my entrance, feeling every curve and edge shape around my tight walls like his cock was made for me; actually made for me.

When I feel he's completely in, there's a moment where neither of us move or say anything. I open my eyes and see him looking at me, face to face once more. I lock eyes with his earthy orbs, the only noise between us being the sounds of our desperate panting. It's the first and only moment of the night where we slip past our passionate embrace to truly process what's about to change between us. We certainly can't go back now. That timer hit zero nearly a good hour ago. This is what we are now.

Ted gives me a tired smile to reassure me that he wants this, a quiet chuckle leaving me in response before I feel him start to move his hips. His pace is gentle at first, not too slow, really taking in how wet I've become because of him. Every moment our gazes would lock, every moment I could feel his breath on me, every flirtatious insult, every comment, every glance; it all felt like it was leading up to this. Every thrust felt like the pleasurable unwrapping of all of this tension I've been burdened with. My core was sending pleasing signals up my body and down my legs every time his hips rubbed against mine, thanking me for finally letting this man take me. My god, have I been waiting for him to take me, aching for it. It's all I can think about now. The pleasure, the pleasure.

I hear my name in a whisper from Ted's gravely tone, feeling Ted adjust his body to be sitting up more, one of his hands nearly gripping my shoulder with the other on my hip, pulling me into his increasingly rougher thrusts. My breasts jolt and bounce with every rock of the bed, hearing it lightly squeak beneath us as his length pumps inside me. I can feel my thighs shivering with excitement, my lower belly tingling for more. My judgement is beginning to be clouded by just how nicely he's fucking me, having a troubling time keeping my voice down with every pulse of satisfaction through me.

"Ohh, Theo.." I let out a girlish moan, bending my legs up a little more to adjust the angle to my liking, feeling him pick up his pace in response. He moved both hands to my hips so he can really work himself into me, grinding his hips against mine out of desperation. The veins of his throbbing shaft are massaging me so nicely, I know my essence is practically drenching it. My arousal is spreading further and further through my veins, a particular curved thrust from Ted causing my body to jolt with pleasure.

"Oh my god--Ted, Yes! Ted! Yes! Yes! Whatever you just did, I--I need that, I need it, I need it.." All of my thoughts and feelings have been taken over by Ted's body, begs and pleads beginning to pour out of me at such an alarming rate, yet I can't stop myself. I can't shut myself up. Ted is taking every last coherent thought with every deep thrust, and I just have to take it. He gets to use me for as long as he wants, and I have to take it. I want to take it.

Ted forces my legs upwards more until my knees are nearly touching my breasts, his own sighs and groans of pleasure mixing in with my own. He hides his face in my neck and really begins to put his all into me, the sound of his hips smacking into mine getting louder with every swift pump of his cock. I wrap my arms and legs around his body the best I can, finally able to work my fingers through his dark hair as I cry out for him. I can't control myself. All I feel is his length pumping inside me, his cold chain against my chest, his stubble scratching my cheek, his voice purring and moaning in my ear like a desperate animal in heat, finally satisfying his carnal desires. My walls tighten around him, my sensitive bud throbs for him, my thighs are shivering, my body is aching, all for him. It's all for him.

"Theo! Theo! Right there, right there, right there right there!" Is nearly all I can whimper out for him, practically crying out when I feel my body ready itself for release. I'm gripping and pulling at his hair with one hand and gripping his bare back with the other, both of my legs locked around him, trapping his cock inside me. His hips slam against mine over and over and over, I can't comprehend anything except the pleasure. Ted. Ted. Teddy...

Eventually it's all too much for my mind to comprehend. I don't even have the energy to let him know I'm cumming, I just cry out for him to not stop fucking me. He pulls away from my neck to connect our foreheads when I pull at his hair roughly. I don't care if anyone hears us. Let them hear. All that's in focus is the second and finale orgasm Ted allows my body to reach for the night, elevated when I feel his warm seed flow into me. My whole body shudders and I'm able to let out a few shaky moans, his last desperate thrusts to empty himself deep inside me causing my eyes to once again roll back briefly, fully and completely satisfied by him.

I don't feel Ted pull out right away. With my eyes closed, I feel the bed stop moving first All of my senses start slowly returning. I feel our warm, sticky bodies pressed against one another, I feel our hot breathes mixing as we try to steady our heavy panting, I feel a cold wetness spread along my folds and up my inner thighs, but most of all, I just feel...relieved.

I open my eyes to see Ted's tired gaze, watching as he comes down from the same high. That's when he finally decided to pull out, a quiet moan leaving us both. My sense of awareness and judgement are the last thing to return to me and I briefly wonder just how loud we both may have been, but any worries melt away when Ted's lips meet mine once again. He kisses me with passion and care, letting out a pleased hum in the kiss before pulling away to move off of me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I unwrap my arms and legs from his body so he can lay down beside me, both of us just staring up at the ceiling while continuing to try and catch our breath. If this were some passionate seen in a TV show or movie, this is where the next scene would cut to: the aftermath. I'm a mess, he's a mess, and yet we're both too tired to care. I had nothing to worry about in regards to how Ted finished, I was already on birth control, he knew this. I turn my head to look at him and blush to myself, turning my body a little in his direction. He looks at me and gives me a weak but reassuring smile, not hesitating to pull me into his arms. I was glad that he was willing to stay and hold me, partially because my side of the bed was now drenched and damp, but also because I wanted him here. I wanted him to stay. He manages to get the light comforter over our bodies to keep them warm, wrapping his arms around me for the night.

Not a word was spoken, nothing more needed to be said.

We both quietly agreed to fall asleep together and discuss everything the morning.

__________________________________

|| Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (Here) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 || Chapter 17 || Chapter 18 (smut) || Chapter 19 || Chapter 20 || Chapter 21 || Chapter 22 || Chapter 23 || Chapter 24 (smut) || Chapter 25 (Final) ||

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s6

finding gibson in episode 1 and doing her best to comfort him- holding him, calling him "sweetheart", and saying that his scars from surgery don’t look that bad

(all while he can hear her thinking that he looks like frankenstein🥲she KNEW he could read minds and still tried to lie and make him feel better!!!!!! because she is so kind!!!)

(and then she loses her mind when gibson is taken from the hospital!!!)

when she yells at the intern for breaking quarantine protocol in episode 2, and then demands the CDC show up in level 2 OR BETTER anti-contamination suits! 

her terrible lying skills being put to the test when some guy thinks she’s from the FCC... she goes along with it as best as she can and with minimal stuttering

hallucination and/or time warp scully translating german for mulder in episode 3 (the hair… the dress… her telling him to get his nazi paws off of her… yeah💗)

the gunmen showing up at the office to get her help finding mulder: “the walls have ears” “i have ears, will you tell me what’s going on?” (<- i love when she is snippy, bahaha)

yelling at skinner when he refuses to help (“no, sir, YOU’RE out of line!”) and threatening to kill spender to figure out where tf mulder ended up (“i want you to do me a favor. it’s not negotiable. either you do it, or i kill you. you understand?”) (and then mumbling “oh god, oh god” “what am i thinking? what am i thinking?” “stupid, stupid”... i love impulsive and reckless scully so much <3)

(and her apology on the elevator for accidentally smacking that lady as she nervously fidgets... she is still trying to be kind despite the circumstances!!)

she is so overcome with relief when skinner finds out where mulder is that she KISSES HIM ON THE LIPS- and then skinner, who has to pretend to be mad at her when others are around, doesn’t miss a beat and starts yelling at her as SOON as he steps off the elevator… yeah. shoutout to her for being unhinged and him for having the improv skills needed to pull off such a situation

she did NOT want to explore a haunted house in episode 6 because she had holiday cheer to spread!!!! and it might even be a white christmas!!!

a few minutes later, she does an amazing monologue about her fears while investigating- she admits to being afraid, even if she know it is irrational. the best way to fight off fear is by infodumping on human nature!

scully refusing to take lyra’s attempts at analysis at face value- including that barb about their “intimacy through codependency”, yelling that she doesn’t know her!! (a very interesting contrast to mulder, who mostly just accepts the claims)

holding actual ghosts at gunpoint like a badass... and then proceeding to pass out when she sees their very lethal bullet wounds

this interaction with cindy the secretary in episode 8: “i don’t understand… has he… don’t y’all need a warrant or subpoena or something like that?” “we usually just say please” <- LMAO, that is the queen of efficiency!!

confessing her romantic philosophy to a woman she just met, saying that “one day you look at the person, and you see something more than you did the night before. like a switch has been flicked somewhere. and the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” (mind you, all this takes place immediately AFTER she denies having any feelings for mulder, lmao)

she didn’t have permission to test skinner’s blood in episode 9, but she took it anyway because she needed to save him, and i deeply respect that about her... rules are mostly to be followed, but there are some very important exceptions!

and then she runs into the operating room and DEMANDS that the doctors listen to her!! therefore saving his life!!! even as the head doctor yells "who is this woman?" <- that's special agent medical doctor motherfucking scully!!!!!

when skinner comes back to, she tells him that she promises they will take good care of him and do absolutely everything they can, even though she knows he is dying 🙁 (and it is only her idea to filter his blood that keeps him alive until krycek strikes with the cure)

kersh tries to make her work with this random agent ritter in episode 10, and she initially INSISTS that she will only take the case with mulder (she is shot down, but the rage in her voice was awe-inspiring)

and then she has so much righteous fury against agent ritter for trying to convict an innocent party (“i thought we were looking for the truth”)

AND when he starts going off, talking bad about mulder and her, saying he'll tell kersh if she messes up "his" case, and calling her “dana”, she declares that she is SCULLY... “and we’re done with this conversation” (not sure if i ever loved her more than at this moment)

leaving the stakeout on felig to just... knock on his door and tell him to explain what the hell is going on. and then joining him for a car ride.

and while doing so, she intervenes when she sees a woman on the street being harassed, because she cannot stand injustice in any capacity (said guy doing the harassment calls her "red", and she smacks him in the face)

going to felig’s apartment- playing hardball and asking why he shouldn’t go to prison, and then listening to his tale of trying to see death’s face. she claims she doesn’t believe him, but he says she does, or why else would she be here?

“how can you have too much life? there’s too much to learn, to experience” she says, having recently come back from death's door. and then she asks felig about love, trying to understand his point of view which is so different from her own

getting in his face insisting that she is NOT going to die when he says she will- she wants to live, she wants a LIFE- and when she is shot, she follows his instructions, looking away from death when it arrives for her

visiting cassandra in episode 11, telling the nurse that she is an old friend and looking for a wheelchair so they can head outside; cassandra is so excited to see her and tell her that she can walk again!

a very angry and wet scully figuring out that her and mulder were probably brought to fort marlene in episode 12, because she knows her secret facilities based on travel time, even as she is locked in a cell with no clean clothes!!!

AND THEN telling diana that her idea of cassandra having a contagious disease that makes you blow up is the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard- before getting so mad she gets up and walks away!!! that is amazing self-control!!

every DIY doctor moment scully had in episode 13: wearing a bandana in lieu of a mask to investigate greer’s wounds; holding tongs over a candle to disinfect them; demanding they get him in the tub NOW; wearing yellow rubber gloves and a chef’s apron as she delivers a baby at gunpoint AND figures out that the octopus beast can be defeated with the power of freshwater… unparalleled!!!!!!

(and her little smile when dales says she is amazing for doing all of that 💗 “if agent scully had not been there with you, i shudder to think what would have happened to you. i’d say you owe her your life” + “if i had someone as savvy as her by my side all those years ago in the x files, i might not have retired” she is so used to not receiving acknowledgement!)

holding mulder’s dying body in her arms over and over again in episode 14, and trying to convince the robber that shot him that he can still do the right thing and let everyone escape... even though it never works 💔

recording their search for clues on a little camcorder as they went undercover in episode 15 (and later she asks if she can pick the names next time, implying that they'll pretend to be married again)

she notices the caduceus on mike <3

JEALOUS scully in episode 16 as mulder explains how he knows karin the canine expert- “oh, so you two are chummy?”- and taking a disliking to her right away (“i don’t think the wolfwoman is here to speak to me on this”, she says, walking away)

telling mulder that karin CLEARLY has a crush on him, which he laughs off...

then sitting her down to diagnose her and accuse her of manipulating mulder, warning karin that she is watching her (and she was right on all counts) (protective scully ❤️❤️❤️)

going detective mode in episode 17- analyzing the placement of bullet shells yet the lack of bullet holes; tracking down the location of june’s missing sister- AND she also knows the hospital code for a c-section, which she finds on a bill and cracks the case open for them

she arrives to meet the gunmen in las vegas in episode 20, the first words she says to them are “where’s agent mulder?” and they scramble to come up with a story as to why he isn’t there

scully snapping on her mask to do her autopsy, cutting the dead guy's ribs open, and then the poor woman getting drugged- she's barely able to form a sentence afterwards (“hi, cutie!” “what killed him?” “my medical opinion? beeeeeeeeeeeep. that’s all i know”)

declaring that she “likes hickey”, petting his face before he drags her away from the 50 men trying to light her cigarette (her laugh…. <3)

despite having a very sad and hurt face when she gets injected with the cure, she sleeps it off in time to go participate in the gunmen’s latest scheme to save the day (and then promises to kick their asses when she learns mulder wasn’t the one who invited her there)

while hallucinating mulder’s funeral in episode 21, she loses control, screaming in skinner’s face “where is mulder? what have you done with him?” (yeah, that is the GOOD angst i signed up for!)

when mulder's in the hospital in episode 22, screaming inconsolably and acting violent, she tries to have the doctor let her speak with him because she is convinced that he would still never be a threat to her, even when he is no longer himself

and then when she realizes something is up with diana and skinner, she calls them both liars right to their faces and heads out to find a cure for him on her own (!!!!!)

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

Fox Mulder doesn't have the "I Want To Believe" poster there because he's crazy. He doesn't have it there to broadcast his beliefs or as a mantra or to remind him to always look for aliens.

Fox Mulder keeps that "I Want To Believe" sign above his desk to remind him of his own internal biases.

That sign hangs above Mulder's desk to remind him of his own shortcomings and flaws. He's aware that he's a hack with dangerous beliefs and prone to flights of fancy and maybe even delusions. He's aware that he's desperately searching for aliens and monsters where there are only men doing bad things. And he has to remind himself of that, constantly.

That's why he's thrilled when he meets Scully and she challenges his beliefs, says that logically aliens don't exist. He's thrilled when she tells him to cut the crap in the pilot episode. He needs someone to challenge him. He needs someone who won't take his shit and put up with his flights of fancy. And he knows it. He's been dealing with himself for years and he feels relief and joy when Scully comes in and says enough of your bullshit. We're doing this my way. With science and logic. He isn't smiling and teasing her because he thinks he's smarter and better than her. He's smiling because she's exactly the person he needs in his life.

That's why he tells her right away that he's a UFO freak with trauma about his sister and a true believer. Not because he's trying to convince her to believe, but because he needs her to understand where he's coming from and what's wrong with him. So she can understand that either he's a dangerous lunatic himself, or he's delving into a dangerous conspiracy and either way she could be collateral damage if she stays with him. He spends the pilot episode reckoning with the idea that either he's a maniac or he's pulling this young fresh detective into danger. When she starts agreeing with him he gets upset, talks her out of it.

Mulder keeps that sign above his desk to remind himself to look into the "reasonable logical" explanations. He keeps that sign on his desk because he knows he's flawed and biased and frankly, dangerous.

He tells Scully exactly what he thinks is happening and about all the crazy stuff he believes not because he's trying to convince her to believe too, but so she can be his sounding board. So she can throw his illogical bullshit back in his face and remind him to look past his own biases and paranoia and quasi-religious zealotry. Because he knows he needs that. He knows he's in a conspiracy brained echo chamber of his own making and having a slow-burn mental breakdown. And he sees Scully as salvation from himself. As another figure in his quasi-religious belief system. The savior.

As the series develops he relies on her more and more to reality check him. Literally reality check him and manage what he worries might all be a delusion.

Mulder pretends he's confident and all the constant criticism and sidelong glances don't get to him and that might be true because he doesn't respect those people but he respects Scully. And he needs someone he respects to tell him when he's wrong, when he's being biased or actively delusional. Scully is his salvation. She's compassionate about his trauma and the reasoning behind his beliefs, but confident and logical enough to tell him when it's all bullshit. She's his savior, his rock, and often his only real connection to material reality.

[scullygazer]

Hi everyone! I hope you all are having an amazing holiday season 😊 This is for the Poang Pals Secret Santa 2024 gift exchange and my giftee is @sagan-starstuff 😊 I really hope you love it! The image makes sense with the fic, I swear 💚❤️

Mischief and Mistletoe

Rating: G

December 23rd, 1994

Fox Mulder hated parties. It didn't matter what they were ... birthdays, weddings, bachelor parties for co-workers, it was all the same to him.

Dana Scully wasn't fond of parties either. While she was used to them having come from a fairly large family that liked to host them all the time when she was growing up, as an adult, she didn't mind stepping back and declining invitations every now and then.

Neither one of them would consider the "FBI Annual Christmas Celebration" as a great way to spend a Friday evening after a long week of work. Both of them would rather be home, watching a good movie and ordering a pizza (Mulder's ideal evening) or taking a long bath with a glass of wine and a book (Scully's idea of a good night).

Here they were however, sitting at a long table with fellow agents conversing over drinks and Hors d'Ouerves. Scully nibbled on a few crackers on her plate and sipped slowly on a glass of merlot. She was switching to water in a few minutes, knowing she had to drive home. Meanwhile, Mulder was staring at his bottle of beer, attempting to pay attention to the "hilarious" story of Agent Thompson's golden retriever stealing a pie the past Thanksgiving but not succeeding. He envied Scully's ability to at least look interested though he sensed her mind was likely elsewhere too.

Scully noticed how bored Mulder looked. The two had been lucky to find two empty seats next to each other. She was at the point however where she was thinking of reasons to get up and leave this thing. It was almost 9 PM. She had used the restroom excuse twice as had Mulder. Luckily, three other agents ended up deciding to call it a night and it was a good chance for her to politely make her exit. She lightly tapped Mulder's foot under the table and subtly nudged his knee.

"Well, I need to get going" Mulder said, standing up and putting his bottle in the recycling bin. Scully followed him.

"Good night, happy holidays!" she said as she left the table.

"See you next year!" one agent said to them. "Haha" Mulder thought. Like he hadn't already heard that one a million times. He was surprised to not see Scully rolling her eyes but he also knew she was far too polite to do that.

As they walked away, Scully thought she heard somebody say her name. She peeked over her shoulder to see two agents whispering and one was pointing at Mulder. Despite it not having been very long since she began working with Mulder and only about a month since she had returned to the FBI after being in the hospital, she was very familiar with the rumors surrounding them every day. "Mrs. Spooky" she would hear others calling her when they didn't realize she was listening.

"Whatever" she thought as she headed into the basement to grab her coat and purse. She had stopped caring a long time ago. If that was all they had to say about her, she didn't think it was that bad.

Mulder wasn't bad either. She had heard about the lengths he had gone to after Duane Barry took her from her apartment and before she found herself in a hospital bed with wires attached to her whole body and her mother and sister surrounding her as she began to wake up and come to. Despite having no memory of how she ended up there, she had remembered the moment Mulder had walked into the room. Not a lot of people would do all that for a coworker, she knew once he told her all about it.

He was different from anybody else she had ever met.

He was special.

Dana Scully was also not someone who didn't plan things through. She was always known among her family, friends, and colleagues as somebody dependable and reliable.

However, she also knew that some risks are worth taking. On her way out, she decided to make one pit stop before getting in the elevator.

--------------

When she entered their basement office, Mulder was collecting his belongings and looking for his coat. He could have sworn he left it by the door, maybe he put it on a chair? It wasn't on his desk either.

"Scully, I think I deserve extra presents this year. I was a very good boy and I resisted several urges to just walk out or tell Skinner I had an annoyance-induced headache" he said.

"Well", Scully thought. She had her own little gift for him. They had agreed to not exchange anything more than cards this year. Everything he had done for his this past year was already the greatest gift a girl could get.

"Mulder, I did something a little naughty before leaving the party" she said, with a sly smile

"Oh, Scully" Mulder said, curiously "I didn't know you were such a rebel"

Scully reached into the pocket of her tan blazer and pulled out a small piece of mistletoe

She giggled miscevously as she stood on her toes attempting to hold it over Mulder's head. Since she was struggling to do so due to her height (even with her heels), Mulder plucked it out of her hand and placed it over her head.

She turned bright red. Then she went in for the kiss. He met her rosy lips and kissed her back. After a few moments, they pulled away slowly and smiled at each other somewhat shyly.

"Merry Christmas, Scully" Mulder eventually said

"Merry Christmas, Mulder"

----

Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoy this and have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and an amazing new year! ☺️☺️☺️

Also... I had to check just because I'm a bit of a perfectionist and December 23rd in 1994 just happened to be a Friday so it worked out very well for that 🤭

[fmluder24]

With a Bow on Top

This is the fic I wrote a while back about S8 from Mulder's point of view and what he is going through when people say he's "mean" and "distant." Link here or you can read below the cut. TW for torture mention, infant loss mention, and mental illness.

He crumpled up the fifth sheet of wrapping paper and tried again. The gift needed to look good. The doll itself wasn’t much to look at, just an old hand-me-down Scully very well might throw away. But with a little sprucing he could at least make sure that the box that it was in would look good.

Semi-content with the wrapping job he had cobbled together, he stripped in the bathroom to get washed off before going to Scully’s.

Pre-death, he had tended towards an ice cold shower, but the chill of a spaceship followed by the icebox of the grace had given him a predilection for a hot shower. If he got it hot enough, the pain could even remind him that he was alive. He washed off with his eyes closed, trying to ignore the scars, but it was no good, as his hands could register the changes in the texture of his skin as though it were Braille.

Afterwards he stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror. He opened and shut his jaw, hearing it crack and pop sharply, wincing at the pain. Then he laboriously pulled the corners of his mouth up into a smile. This is what Scully wanted, what she needed. A happy father, ready to welcome a squealing, writhing bundle of joy into the world. Not some undead freak who could not bring himself to feel anything remotely resembling joy.

He wanted so badly to feel happy for her. This was what she had wanted more than anything. Hell, it’s what he had wanted with her for longer than it would be socially acceptable to admit. But now that it and he had coldly decided to think of it as an it just to be on the safe side was on its way he felt only fear. The baby might die. The baby might be another relic of forced impregnation and medical rape, some inhuman monster. Better to be on the safe side and not get attached, not dare to hope that something like a happy, normal family life was so close he could almost taste it. So it it was. Not he or she. It. The fetus. That way of thinking was safe. Just in case.

But he could feel despite the distance she was affecting to keep her self safe as well, that she needed him. They’d always leaned on each other at the end of the day. Death had changed a lot of things but hadn’t changed that. And he couldn’t crawl to her as this wounded empty zombie, plagued as he was by fragments of memories of the torture that had left him scarred and aching.

No. She needed a man. A father for her child. A man that would not allow anything bad to happen to either of them. He’d never been able to deliver on that promise, despite the sex and the sperm donation and the declarations of love, spoken and unspoken, large and small. It was clear he was not up to the task of being the type of protector a woman needed a man to be. He’d already permitted, and perhaps unwittingly facilitated, her abduction, torture, and even her rape (of which Emily had existed as living proof). He’d never been any good at saving anyone. Not Scully, not Diana, not Melissa, not Samantha, not Emily, not even fucking Queequeg. And he was now on the hook for not one but two lives in addition to somehow keeping his own undead self alive. If he could even die anymore, that was.

But Scully didn’t want to hear about the suction cups and the whirring blades and the restraints and the blurry memories of the silence of a coffin. She didn’t need to hear about the panic attacks, the constant need for stimulation to remember he was still alive paired with a crushing sense of overwhelm every time he stepped outside, because every smell, sensation and sound brought back that horrible room.

She didn’t need to know that he secretly wished they’d left him in the fucking dirt to rot. It would have been better that way.

He couldn’t allow himself to burden her with any of it.

So he practiced dragging the corners of his mouth up towards his ears again and again. If he tilted his head a little his eyes didn’t look quite as dead. If he spiced up the conversation with a few jokes, he might even make it through the evening without curling into the fetal position and screaming until his throat was a bloody mess.

[actual-changeling]

mulder and scully in deep throat are both so painfully protective of each other and it's the start of "if anyone hurts you i will drag them down to hell" for both of them—especially for mulder, since he just drowns in that urge the longer they work together.

i've talked about how mulder sees himself as a physical shield, a protector, and how that defines his relationship with scully. that instinct is jump-started a bit more than halfway through the episode when they get stopped by government agents and their evidence is either collected or destroyed.

so let's have a look at that!

i think if it had been *just* the government-sanctioned robbery, they would have been relatively okay after that. a bit spooked (punt intended) but also activated and determined to get to the bottom of it.

they separate them, which sucks and annoys them a little, but what actually scares them is when they hurt mulder. judging by the angle, that agent (?) went straight for his kidney.

for those that don't know that much about anatomy, damage to your kidneys is BAD. kidney punches or kicks are not allowed in any kind of contact sport, especially fight-based ones, because they can kill you. if they don't kill you, they can fuck you up for life and cause all kinds of damage throughout your body.

mulder cries out in pain and scully, who is watching the entire thing, grimaces and has to look away. she's vividly aware of how painful and dangerous that kind of injury can be, and it causes her genuine distress to witness.

they instinctively seek eye contact, and scully is horrified by the situation. mulder is in pain, both physically and emotionally because fuck you, that was his EVIDENCE. i think here he already makes his decision and swears to himself to keep her safe, to make sure she never gets hurt the way he just was.

to make sure that he does not drag her down with him.

meanwhile scully sees someone who has no one else on his side. someone who is searching for the truth, trying to help people, and is punished for it, violently so. she sees someone in need of protection, of an ally, of a friend.

someone who takes cares of him because no one else will. someone who tells him when to stop because he won't and it will kill him one day.

by the time they're back at the motel, mulder has already made his choice on how to proceed.

this is the first time he truly, intentionally, ditches her to pursue a lead on his own because he's terrified for her. he wants her to have a job, a future, to live as painlessly as possible, and if that means sacrificing himself, he will GLADLY do so.

yes, but at what cost, when does the human cost become too high [...]?

scully getting hurt is too high a cost for him—and mulder getting hurt is too high a cost for HER.

fox "i need you to stay behind and be safe" mulder and dana "stop ditching me you fucking idiot we're stronger together" scully

[muldersfingers]

Happy Valentines Day everybody.

I haven't written a Valentines Day fic however I'd like to share a Valentines day section of one of my WIPs!

Context: M&S are both teachers in England and it's an enemies to lovers with obviously lots of UST. (be warned this is a whopping 6k!)

“Hot date for Valentine’s?”

Scully looked up and rolled her eyes when she spotted Mulder in the doorway of her classroom.

“Get outta here, Mulder. Lunch is almost over. The kids will be here soon.” She sighed, exasperated. “Don’t you have your own lesson to teach?”

“Free period.” Mulder waggled his eyebrows.

“Good for you,” Scully replied flatly. “Go bother someone else.”

“But there’s no one I’d rather bother,” Mulder remarked as he stepped into the classroom.

Scully sighed, looking over her lesson plan.

“Well, you can stand there and be annoying while I ignore you.”

“When was the last time you went on a date? Huh?” Mulder chuckled quietly. “Was it back home?”

It was. It wasn’t that she wasn’t over Ethan, but she just still didn’t feel ready to see anyone new. She wasn’t overly interested. Still, she was lonely, and she could easily be driven to kick Mulder in the balls for reminding her.

“You know…” She turned to Mulder, not missing the way his eyes dropped to her legs as they swung from underneath her desk. “I still can’t believe they let assholes like you teach the minds of tomorrow.”

“I can’t believe they let potty mouths like you do it, either.”

Scully pouted. Yes, she shouldn’t have cursed on school property. But he drove her to it.

“Hi, Sir!”

Students were beginning to file in. It irritated Scully to no end the way the older students fawned over Mulder, and she threw the students a look as they giggled to each other and stared at him. Didn’t they know he was an asshole? And this was the second time year 11s had caught him in her classroom. She gritted her teeth. Rumours were generally rampant in schools and he wasn’t helping.

“Thank you, Mr. Mulder,” Scully said, fixing him with a glare. “I’ll catch up with you another time.”

Mulder’s eyes were smirking – how did he do that? – as he nodded and turned to leave.

-

Scully strolled around Sainbury’s, not in a particular hurry. She was mostly there just for something to do, which was sad. 

She really needed a hobby.

The truth was, she needed a break from marking year 7 homework. What a way to spend a Friday night. Valentine’s night.

Fuck it, she thought, and picked up a bottle of red wine and dropped it into her basket. She headed over to the freezer section, pondering over the ice cream selection. She wasn’t going to wallow. It wasn’t that bad. But maybe she would take a bath and be with her feelings for an hour. 

She slid open the freezer compartment door and leaned down to peruse the Haagen-Dazs selection. She quickly opted for a tub of cookies & cream which she dropped into her basket, closing the compartment and standing up straight. Her eyes fell on somebody leaning down into the compartment opposite, just as they went to straighten up.

They locked eyes, and she and Mulder just stared at each other. For all his big talk and teasing, he didn’t have a date, or any kind of plans either. He was alone, in Sainsbury’s, on Valentine’s day.

“Well, well, well,” Scully finally piped up.

Mulder opened his mouth to speak but just closed it again, pouting.

He at least had the humility to look embarrassed. He ducked his head just as Scully walked around to join him.

“Meal for one?” she asked, peering into his basket.

“It’s rude to look at someone else’s shopping,” Mulder protested.

They both began to walk, falling in step.

“Mulder, why do you choose to be such an asshole?” she asked casually. 

“Only to you,” he said softly. “Because you’re special.”

Scully turned her head to fix him with a stare. 

“Yikes,” he said. “Uh– look. Everybody thinks I’m an asshole, so I might as well have fun and live up to my reputation.”

“You also have a reputation as a womaniser.”

Mulder nodded slowly.

“I might as well live up to that too, huh?”

Scully scoffed. “No. It’s a fine line before crossing over into pervert, you know.”

Mulder sighed tensely, stopping in the pet aisle and poking absently at a bag of cat litter.

“This all happened because…” Mulder sighed again and Scully found herself curious. “I made bad decisions when I first started working at the school. There was this art teacher, God, she was beautiful. I found out she was single – as was I – so I asked her out. It kind of went a bit wrong at some stage. We didn’t really gel well, but the sex was great. I mean, it was phenomenal, Scully.”

“Thank you,” Scully said impatiently. “Carry on.”

“Well, when she realised it wasn’t going anywhere, she got in her head about it. I don’t think she really saw herself as someone who had casual sex, even though it was basically what we were doing, for months. Anyway, we ended it and she was a bit down about it. And you know what office gossips are like. It all got a bit twisted and I somehow became a guy who humps and dumps.”

Scully scrunched her nose at the term. “Is that what she told people?”

“No!” Mulder chuckled. “And as soon as they saw me even talking to another attractive woman, they put two and two together and made five. Assumed I’d dumped her and moved onto the next.”

“You shouldn’t play up to it, Mulder.”

“Why not?” He grinned down at her obnoxiously. “It’s fun. And, even though I’m not a womaniser, I do really love women. You guys are wonderful things.”

“Well, aren’t you worried about your reputation? Your career?”

“No,” Mulder scoffed. “It would be exhausting, worrying about that kind of thing. How neurotic.”

If Mulder was making a dig, it was crueller than his usual. 

“Still doesn’t explain why you’re an asshole to me at any given opportunity.”

Mulder’s usual shit-eating grin faded from his face and he looked away.

“I’m not that bad, am I?”

“Do you not remember the night of the Christmas party when you told me to go get blown up?”

“That was a misunderstanding!” Mulder said emphatically. “Anyway, you really wanna bring that night up? You kissed me that night.”

“I was drunk.”

“You were very insistent you were not drunk.”

“You’re changing the subject!”

Mulder huffed. “I don’t know, Scully. It bounces off you so well. I can’t resist.”

Scully pressed her lips into a line. He was immature, childish. But so good at working her guard down. She clung onto it. 

“As I said,” he continued. “I love women. And if I find a way to rile up a beautiful woman, I’m gonna take it.”

“So you get your kicks from pissing me off, essentially?”

Mulder stopped walking and turned to face her. He was uncomfortably close.

“Essentially, yeah. Has anyone told you you’re sexy when you’re angry?”

“Asshole,” she repeated.

“Stop resisting and enjoy it,” Mulder said quietly. “Stop pretending you don’t want to.”

She looked up at him sternly. Why would she want to enjoy him pissing her off? Stupid man. Their eyes stayed locked, and she could feel herself scrambling at her guard, her resolve, fingers grappling and slipping away like butter. Fuck.

“I’m so sorry if it makes you uncomfortable,” he said quietly, bumping his basket against hers. “Let me make it up to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come to mine. Like a date. It’ll be fun. I’ll cook. Give me the chance to prove there’s much more to me than getting it wrong.”

Scully’s derisive laugh rang through the aisle melodically, but as soon as it passed her lips she felt guilty. Maybe he really was trying to make amends. 

You’re letting him in, she scolded herself. Don’t be stupid.

“A date?” she couldn’t help but say. “Are you crazy? Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Just a meal, Dana. Think of it as team-building.” He grinned, flashing his teeth. “If you hate me as much as you’re making me think you do, we’ve got some serious teacher-on-teacher repairing to do. We have got to work together. C’mon. Do it for the kids.”

She looked down at her basket, with its red wine and ice cream. Her plans had been to go home and wallow, anyway. She might as well spend the evening shooting Mulder down for sport.

“Fine.”

-

Scully looked around his small flat. And it was small. The living room and kitchen were open plan, and the bedroom was on the other side of the kitchen. Scully presumed there was a bathroom down that end somewhere.

It was silly, really, him bringing her to his home. She was cataloguing things to rip into him about as she explored. Alien figurines, Mulder? Bigfoot?!

It was mildly infuriating to her, as a scientist. Science easily debunked these topics that Mulder seemed to hold dear. She remembered their crop circle conversation, and she tried not to let irritation bubble in her stomach.

“So, what are we having for dinner?” Scully asked.

Mulder grinned from the kitchen and held up a box.

“Frozen pizza.”

Scully openly rolled her eyes before sitting down on the couch. The tiny flat was cluttered, and the furniture had seen better days, but it was, at least, clean. On the coffee table, there was a tall stack of what looked like A-Level coursework. 

“Pizza’s in,” Mulder announced, striding into the living room and sitting at the other end of the couch.

Scully looked towards the kitchen.

“Really? Do you never preheat the oven, Mulder?”

He scoffed. “Life’s too short for preheating.”

Scully rolled her eyes again. 

“You had better not poison me.”

“I have never preheated an oven in my life and I’m still standing.”

Scully sighed loudly. What was she doing here? On Valentine’s night? About to eat a poorly cooked frozen pizza with a man she couldn't stand?

She hated herself a little bit. If Mulder had been an old, stuffy, old school sort of teacher with dry skin and bad breath, she might have had an easier time despising him in full comfort. But he was young, handsome. Smelled great. Charming. Good kisser.

She couldn’t help it. Her cheeks flamed. Kissing him after the Christmas party was the stupidest thing she had ever done. He had never directly mentioned it until tonight, but he had never let her forget it, dancing around it and the ever-present glint in his eye.

“I can’t believe you somehow coaxed me into something you called a date and it’s just you feeding me frozen pizza in – what do they call this here? – a bedsit.”

“This is a studio apartment,” Mulder insisted.

Scully looked around pointedly. “Sure.”

“You want a drink? I know you like white wine. I have some in the fridge.”

“I have to drive home.”

“Rubbish,” he scoffed. “You can walk. It’s not far.”

“And leave my car here?”

Mulder put his hand on his heart. “I’ll walk you home after you finish your lacklustre pizza. I promise. Your car will be safe here. Just come get it tomorrow.”

Scully frowned at him. She could make an excuse. I have an early start tomorrow and I need the car. But maybe a glass of wine would make this more bearable.

Or maybe she should just go.

“Mulder, this was a bad idea,” she said, standing. “Look, we’re both professional. We can be civil to one another. But a glass of wine and a frozen pizza is not going to repair our relationship.”

“Why don’t you like me?” Mulder asked bluntly, blinking up at her.

Scully folded her arms and stared back at him. Why didn’t she like him?!

“What?” she chuckled. “You have never been pleasant to me a day in your life.”

“That’s not true,” he protested weakly. “It’s only because–”

He stopped abruptly and averted his eyes.

“What?” Scully challenged. “Come on.”

“Will you… can you just sit down?”

Scully sighed and sat back down.

“We were just bantering at first. It all got a little out of hand.”

“I’ll say.”

“I’m so shit with women,” he muttered.

Scully frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean? There was no way this man had trouble with women. He had already seduced one teacher. Maybe more, if she was inclined not to believe his stories.

“I– I just…” He paused to betray a grin. “I love seeing you all riled up. You’re so beautiful when you’re angry.”

“That is so disturbing.”

“But not as beautiful as when you smile.”

“Ugh.” Scully leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. Why did she come here? Why didn’t she leave? “That’s so gross, Mulder.”

“You’re taking everything I say the wrong way.”

Scully sighed, opening her eyes and looking at him expectantly. This was it. She was going to leave. Now.

“You make me nervous, Scully. I’ve always had such a crush on you.”

Don’t get reeled in, she reminded herself.

“How?” she challenged. “All you’ve seen is my irritated, defensive side, because that’s what you provoke in me.”

“Yes, okay,” Mulder relented. “But I’ve seen how you are with other people. And the kids. You’re a great teacher, and scientist, and the way you can command a class of fifteen-year-olds is a wonder to behold.”

She couldn’t help but betray a smile at that.

“Well. Thanks.”

Mulder smiled back and nodded. “See? Okay, let me rephrase my previous statement. You look beautiful when you’re happy.”

“Okay. That’s better,” Scully said, smiling again.

“I didn’t mean it in a weird way before. I just meant that your smile lights up a room.” He sighed and shrugged helplessly. “I wish we could start again. Clean slate.”

“We can try,” Scully said, sceptical. She would be willing to make an attempt.

Mulder grinned then, holding his hand out.

“Mulder. English and psychology.”

Scully rolled her eyes, sliding her palm into his. “Dana Scully, science.”

“Science!” he said with excitement. Their hands were still clasped together. “I’d love to pick your brains about crop circles sometime.”

Scully laughed loudly, partially in amusement, partially in exasperation.

“Mulder, I’m gonna throw you out the window.”

He looked extremely pleased with himself for making her laugh, and suddenly Scully felt a strange sensation. Was that…  a spark? Where their hands were still clutching to one another, his index finger was just barely tracing circles on the delicate skin of her wrist and alarm bells rang in her head. She felt a twitch between her legs.

“I have to go,” she said, standing up abruptly. Their hands parted, and Mulder’s thudded into his lap.

“Dana,” he said quietly, standing. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

She closed her eyes. He knew she was weak, and he was prodding at her weaker spots. 

“Don’t even think about it, Mulder. You know yourself that getting involved with coworkers can get messy.”

“It doesn’t have to,” he said quietly as she felt him cup her face. She practically gasped. “One chance, Dana.”

“Mulder–”

“I promise I’m very generous.”

She opened her eyes to glare at him, but she could barely manage. That plump bottom lip was tantalisingly close and she found herself trying to covertly tilt her head to see if her lip would make contact with his. What a stupid thing to try and do. 

He took it as an invitation, and he pressed his lips against hers.

She hated it. Hated how it made her feel, hated the want it stirred up in her. It hit her like a wave, a hot, slick wave of arousal that made her want to surge forward at a million miles an hour. All the irritation and anger she had ever felt towards him was concentrating into this one kiss, into her veins, into her hands which clawed at his shirt to get it up and over his head. Off.

His hands were on her waist under her sweater, but hers were yanking open his jeans. He was hard now, and she widened her eyes when she pushed her hand between his open jeans and his boxers.

“Holy shit, Mulder.” She scoffed. “You should’ve led with the size of this thing.”

“I don’t think you would’ve appreciated me trying to lure you in with I’ve got a big cock, Dana.”

“Don’t call me Dana,” she said. “I prefer work people to call me Scully.”

“Your hand’s on my cock and I’m still work people?”

“Of course you are.”

Mulder hummed disapprovingly but kissed her again, his hand sliding up the back of her shirt, fingers dancing over the clasp of her bra. Scully gave his cock a squeeze and he emitted a choked sound. He removed his hands from her shirt and grabbed her wrist to pull her towards the bedroom, making a quick pit stop in the kitchen to turn the oven off. 

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Scully told him as they made it to the bedroom.

“You’ve never had sex, Scully?!” Mulder teased as he pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them.

“I’ve never had a one night stand.”

Mulder paused, thumbs in the waistband of his boxers. 

“A one night stand?” He chuckled cockily as he pushed his boxers down and placed his hands on his hips proudly. “You really think this will be a one night stand?”

“Believe me, Mulder,” she said, smirking slightly as she lifted her shirt over her head. “I’m already regretting what we’re about to do.”

Mulder’s arms fell to his sides, his downtrodden demeanour comical against his hard, hot, naked body.

“You don’t have to do it, Scully.”

“You never done something you know you’ll regret just because you really fucking want to?”

Mulder mouthed blankly and Scully unclasped her bra and tossed it away. He watched raptly as she unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them to the floor, along with her panties.

“Come here,” he said.

She stepped forward, gazing up at him. Mulder slipped his fingers into her hair and cupped her face firmly.

“I’m gonna make sure you don’t regret a single second of this.”

A zip of arousal shot through Scully and she was suddenly aware how very wet she was. 

“You’re setting yourself up for quite the challenge, Mr. Mulder.” Scully cried out softly as his mouth latched onto her neck. “God.”

“Mhm.”

His hand found her breast and, God. Mulder’s hand was on her breast. The voice of regret was chattering in her ear, telling her how stupid this was and how she was going to hate herself and how sad it was that she was going to spend Valentine’s night fucking somebody she didn’t even like just because she was so lonely.

That wasn’t even true. She had always been led by logic and what was sensible and maybe she just wanted to make a bad decision because it felt good. Maybe she wanted to let loose and do something wild her dad would be ashamed of her for. 

She laid back on the bed, resisting the urge to touch herself. Mulder threw himself down next to her and turned to search through his bedside drawer. He pulled out a box of condoms, squinting to check the date. Oh please. 

So, this was going to be just a quick fuck. No foreplay. No buildup. Kind of disappointing from the man who had just boldly claimed he would make sure she wouldn’t regret sleeping with him, but she wasn’t surprised.

He pulled a condom from the strip, placing the rest of the box atop the table. Instead of opening the condom, he placed it under the pillow next to Scully.

“It’s not going to do much good there, Mulder.”

“I just want it close at hand when I need it.”

Oh. Well. Maybe she was wrong.

She was definitely wrong. Mulder laid on his side, leaning down to kiss her, slowly, deeply. With a sharp exhale through his nose, he hooked his fingers behind her knee and tugged her thigh over his hips.

As he ran his large palm up and down the length of her thigh, she wondered how such an irritating man could feel so fucking good. If she had caved earlier, she would already know what it felt like to have those fingers stroking through her slick heat, to feel his huge cock push inside of her, would already know what he sounded like when he came. Would they have only done it once? Would it have healed their relationship? Would it have alienated them from each other further? 

She supposed she would find it all out in the aftermath of tonight. 

Mulder was already doing a great job; Scully already felt all promise of regret slipping away as Mulder’s fingers teased her nipple, just shy of enough as his hand continued its journey south. She locked eyes with him as his fingers danced on her lower stomach, as she slipped her leg off of his hips and opened her legs wide.

“Shit, Scully.” Mulder huffed out a breath. “You’re amazing.”

“Just touch me.”

She absolutely delighted in how affected he was by her. His eyes, slightly glazed, roamed between her breasts and her vulva, occasionally stealing a look at her face. His finger circled her clit with just the right amount of pressure, and just when she was starting to crave penetration he gently pushed a finger inside of her. How did he do that?

It had been so long. She hadn’t even touched herself recently, and she could already feel her orgasm building. Her mind went into a tailspin, thinking all sorts of nonsense like I love him, does he love me? He was made for me. This was destined to happen.

She snapped herself out of it and focused on the task in hand, determined not to be completely at his mercy. She could so easily lay here and just let him do whatever he wanted to her, but she wanted him to be at her mercy.

She moaned loudly as he thumbed over her clit, crooking his finger inside her at the same time. It was so delicious, as was the way he had started rutting his cock against her in earnest. She wanted him to fuck her so badly. 

As she let out a whine, Mulder let out a breathy laugh.

“Regretting it yet?”

“God. Shut up.”

He laughed again, trailing off into a moan as her lips moved to his jawline, to his neck, his collarbone. He crooked his finger again and without thinking, she bit down on his skin and growled.

“Shit, Scully.”

She parted her lips to apologise, but changed her mind. As she kissed down his body, she grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from between her legs. She looked up at him, keeping her eyes on his as she kissed his hipbone.

“You don’t have to,” he said.

Scully unceremoniously grabbed hold of his cock and licked the underside from root to tip before sucking on the head, swirling her tongue. Mulder slammed his palms onto the bed either side of him, gripping the sheets. 

“You like that?” Scully said before repeating the action. 

“Yes,” he said tensely. 

“Good.”

She sunk down and took half his length into her mouth. He was certainly a mouthful, but she was determined to break him. She was absolutely aching for him, but she wanted him to beg for it.

“Scully!” he moaned, hand suddenly on her head, clenching in her hair. “Sorry.”

She shrugged her shoulders, and he loosened his grip but left his hand on the back of her head. She very, very slowly pulled off his cock, stopping when she reached the head and swirling her tongue again.

“Scully,” Mulder warned. “I'll come if you carry on like that.”

She hummed appreciatively, sucking at the same time. He emitted a tense whine, and she reached up to take his balls in her hand.

“That’s it,” he said tensely. “Oh, fuck. Yeah. Just like that.”

She pulled her mouth off of his cock, kissing her way down his shaft before pressing gentle, wet kisses to his balls, still cradled in her hand. He let out a petulant whine.

“Scully!”

She gripped the base of his cock firmly and pressed her cheek against his length, looking up at him.

“Am I frustrating you, Mulder?” she asked, a little breathless. “Now you know how I feel all the fucking time.”

“You feel like this?” Mulder asked incredulously. “We should’ve fucked a long time ago, then.”

“Frustrated. Irritated. Angry.” She punctuated every word with a kiss to his cock. “You wind me up, Mulder.”

“I’m feeling pretty wound up myself,” he said, strained as she released both his cock and his balls. “Orgasm denial, Scully, is that what this is?”

“You can come whenever you want,” she told him, moving up to straddle his waist. She knew he would be able to feel how wet she was on his skin. “I’m not stopping you. Grab my tits.”

He looked as though he was about to protest her previous statement when he realised she gave him an instruction and he took a breast in each hand. She threw her head back, writhing on his waist as he massaged her. 

“God.” He bucked his hips. “You’re so sexy. Please, Scully.”

“What?” she asked, eyes closed. She wasn’t getting nearly enough friction on her clit, but it was worth it to hear his voice grow more and more tense. 

He released her breasts and she slowly leaned down, pressing her chest against his as his hands went straight to her ass, massaging her cheeks firmly. It hurt a little, and it felt really fucking good.

“Please,” he whispered as she ghosted her lips over his. “I wanna fuck you.”

“Yeah?” she said against his mouth. “How bad?”

“So bad.” He sighed tensely and bucked his hips slightly. “Come on. I know you want it, too.”

Scully’s body was aching for him, this much was true. All she could think about was how empty she felt, how much she needed to be filled up by him. 

“Hm,” she hummed. “Do I hate myself enough to fuck an asshole?”

Mulder’s face fell. His hands stilled, fingers digging firmly into the flesh of her ass.

“That hurts, Scully.”

Scully tamped down the feeling of guilt at that. 

“You wanna act like one but not get called one?” Scully scoffed. “You were supposed to be proving to me tonight that you are, in fact, not an asshole, and I'm yet to be convinced.”

The hurt melted away from his expression, replaced with resolve.

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

Scully sat up again and moved herself backwards to nestle herself on top of his cock. Mulder let out a long groan, bucking his hips. Scully bit back a whine. 

“Make this worthwhile,” she said.

“I told you you wouldn’t regret this,” Mulder said resolutely. “And I damn well mean it.”

Scully blinked at him before swinging her leg off his hips and kneeling beside him. She retrieved the condom from under the pillow and swiftly rolled it down his length. He watched on, hands roaming over his own chest and ribs. As Scully swung her leg back over his hips, she couldn’t help but think about Monday and how it would feel seeing him at school. It was then she realised it was half term break next week, and she might not actually see him for over a week.

Good. She reckoned she might need more than two days to get over this.

She held his cock as she lined it up and began to push down on it. She couldn’t help but cry out softly as it breached her opening. He was huge, and it had been so long. The feeling was unmatched, though; a man – a very sexy one, at that – sliding into her, filling her up. Her thighs began to tremble as she strained to sink down slowly. When she thought she could handle it, she sunk down all the way.

Fuck, he was huge. 

“Are you okay?” Mulder asked, tense with the strain of trying to keep still. Scully appreciated it, but she thought she needed to start moving in order to fully adjust. 

“Yeah,” she breathed out, beginning to roll her hips experimentally.

“You’re so tiny to be taking such a large package.”

“Shut up, Mulder,” she said, rolling her eyes at his smirk. 

Moving was helping, and the uncomfortable stretch was giving way to an absolutely euphoric feeling. It was as though her body had blossomed, making way for what belonged inside of her, welcoming him in. She built up her speed until she was bouncing on him, and he grabbed hold of her hips and started to buck up in time. 

“See?” Mulder panted. “I’m not so bad.”

“I’ll admit,” she said, closing her eyes and pausing to whine and pinch her own nipple. “Your cock is fantastic.”

Mulder let out a strange growl and Scully opened her eyes to look down on him. He was trying to snap his hips upwards harder, but he didn’t seem to be able to get a good rhythm. Scully smirked, leaning down and pressing both palms into the bed, either side of his head.

“It could be attached to literally anyone.”

It happened so quickly. Mulder’s arms were wrapped around her and they were rolling, Scully letting out a little shriek as he flipped them so she was on her back, flat on the bed, and he was looming over her. 

A thrill shot through her as Mulder leaned down to press a hot, searing kiss to her lips, before assertively shoving his tongue into her mouth.

God. He was inside her, filling her up so completely and the heat of his body was pressed against hers but his tongue dominated her mind, surprisingly erotic as it filled her mouth, hot and wet and dominating, just like his cock inside her.

She couldn’t help but let out a loud moan, cursing herself when she felt Mulder’s lips stretch into a smile, even as his tongue was still in her mouth. He pulled away and for a second, they locked eyes and just stared at each other. Scully wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, Mulder rested his forearms either side of her head, and he began to move. 

Scully wrapped her legs around him as he quickly built up speed until he was snapping his hips, slamming into her punishingly over and over. She knew she would ache tomorrow, and she couldn’t wait. 

“Oh, god,” she whined. “Harder, Mulder.”

“Harder?” he asked, sounding a little incredulous. 

But he did it. Scully’s left hand was splayed on his back, which was dewy with sweat, and the other was tangled in his hair as he pounded into her. His arms were beginning to tremble either side of her head. 

“Getting tired?”

“I just–” Mulder paused to let out a loud moan as Scully tugged at his hair. “I can’t keep up this pace.”

She wasn’t surprised. It was taking her breath away.

“Weak,” she chastised.

“Fuck you,” he panted.

He shifted his weight, bracing himself with one hand against the wall behind Scully and slipped the other hand between their bodies, quickly locating Scully’s clit and rubbing over the sensitive nub. She cried out.

“You’re so rough.”

Mulder slowed both his hips and his finger down and Scully bit back a whine.

“What?” he asked incredulously. “What, you don’t like it rough?”

Scully glared up at him. “Carry on.”

He resumed his punishing rhythm and she felt her orgasm building. Mulder’s teeth were gritted and he was dripping with sweat. He looked pretty close too. Scully clenched around his cock rhythmically, and he cried out a long, drawn out moan before his rhythm faltered and she felt him pulsing, coming as he frantically snapped his hips.

“Yeah, that’s it,” she said. “Come for me.”

He visibly slumped once he was spent, and he dazedly slowed his ministrations before holding the base of the condom and pulling out, flopping down on the bed beside her.

She quickly pushed her two middle fingers between her folds, circling and pinching her clit until she came, orgasm washing over her in a hot, delicious surge.

They laid there, side by side, catching their breath wordlessly. That was so fucking hot, she thought to herself.  Even if I did have to finish myself off.

“So?” Mulder finally said. “Regrets?”

“I suppose not,” she said reluctantly. “I’m not completely sold.”

“What?” Mulder propped his head up on his palm and looked down at her. “You can’t think badly of me after that, surely.”

“Mulder, you didn’t even make me come. That’s an asshole move if there ever was one.”

Mulder gasped as if he hadn’t even realised.

“Scully, I’m sorry.” He slid a hand onto her thigh. “I can–”

“I’ve taken care of it, Mulder. You were literally right here.”

“Sorry,” he said again. “I think I zoned out for a minute.”

“So, sounds like… I’m the one who’s fantastic in bed.”

“What?!” Mulder scoffed. “You were quite the taskmaster, Scully. I worked very hard.”

“Still didn’t make me come.”

Mulder groaned loudly. “I promise, next time I’m gonna–”

“Next time?” Scully laughed as if in surprise. “What makes you so sure there’s gonna be a next time?”

Mulder looked down at her. He cupped her face, ran his thumb over her bottom lip. She parted her lips slightly and he pushed the tip of his thumb into her mouth.

“I hope you’ll give me the chance to blow your mind.” He leaned down to kiss her, his thumb still on her lip. “Make you forget your own name.”

“That’s big talk, Mulder.”

“I can back it up. I guarantee it.”

Scully tried not to betray to him the zip of new arousal that shot through her. He had been so close to making her come, if only he had stayed focused a minute longer. She wouldn’t tell him, but she was certainly satisfied regardless. This was definitely up there with the best sex she’d ever had, and it was only their first time. It would be happening again. She didn’t think she would be able to resist. 

“I’ll think about it,” she said, sounding uncertain. 

“You cannot tell me you didn’t enjoy any of that,” Mulder insisted. “Come on!”

If the sex was satisfying, the deep upset and offence Mulder seemed to feel at the idea that she didn’t enjoy it was downright delicious. 

“I should go,” she said.

“Wait,” Mulder said, grabbing her arm as she moved to roll off of the bed. “You’re really not gonna give me a chance?”

“Tonight?” she asked, tugging her arm out of his grip. “I’m not convinced you have the stamina, Mulder.”

Before she could remove herself from the bed he slung a leg across her, between her legs, effectively pinning her to the bed. He crawled half on top of her and she rolled her eyes, relenting to the fact she wasn’t leaving.

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” he stated. “Valentine’s evening. Everyone deserves great sex tonight, Scully.”

She fixed him with a stare and swallowed.

“I enjoyed it. Okay? Is that what you need to hear?”

“What I need to hear,” he said quietly, measured, “is you screaming my name in ecstasy.”

Another surge of arousal.

“Shit, Mulder,” she whispered, despite herself.

Did she need to go? Aunt Olive would probably have taken herself off to bed by now, having had dinner before Scully went shopping. She had no other obligations. Except to herself. She was obligated to not give into Mulder.

“I know you want to,” Mulder murmured, his lips mouthing at her earlobe. “Please stay. I’ll make it worth your while. And I think you know that.”

She closed her eyes. Mulder’s hand trailed over her ribs and moved up to very gently cup her breast, testing the waters without being too invasive. She whined.

“I can stay a little while longer.”

“Good girl,” Mulder cooed.

Scully snapped her eyes open and looked at him, and his eyes widened in regret.

“We don’t like that?” he said quickly. “Sorry. Won’t ever happen again.”

She smiled, turning her head to bump her nose into his, and then it was her turn to feel instant regret. Way too soft and sweet for this particular dynamic.

“Mulder,” she said, sighing contently as he increased the pressure on her breast, squeezing it as he thumbed over her nipple. “I’m prepared to give you another chance, but I do think I need some of that pizza.”

---

This MAY be the fic I'm currently working on but it's a mess! And now you have read *checks word count* 50% of what is already written.

If you enjoy my writing please consider subscribing to me on ao3 so you know IMMEDIATELY if I post a fic :)

[waxwork-daughter]

So the thing is that I half remember reading this idea in a fic at some point so I was going to check and see if I could find it and that didn't work lol. But the further thought I was referring to while responding to @limnsaber's post re: Mulder's mother's death, musing about his asking Scully to do an autopsy on her (even though l, if you go with the hints that his mother's family was Jewish, that would be against the culture she was born with even if she left it behind meaning that this need superseded any hesitation). I think it wasn't so much that he was looking to find out if there was foul play in her death, I think deep down he knew there wasn't (and I think he probably feared in his adolescence that she would do something like that when things were at their worst, he treats her like he's afraid she'll shatter if pushed unless he's very angry and motivated otherwise). My thought was that on some subconscious level he was looking for evidence of his sister. A sign in his mother's body that she'd existed at all and that their childhood had happened. It has been so long and his memory and beliefs had shifted so many times, and Teena had mostly shifted into pretending none of it had ever happened. And, on a more literal sci-fi level, with all the clones and fertility and eugenics plots and the doubles of Samantha that CSM made and kept, the abnormalities in his DNA, his ability to recover from the hybrid blood infection when others can't, I think he could have had some nagging concerns about if either of them were ever 'real' people, lack of green poison blood or not. If she ever birthed them or wanted them or if they just happened to her, the way bad things happened to women close to men tied with the project.

Literal and metaphorical questions about his mother and his origins that he couldn't articulate to Scully, and with no answers that either his mother's body or Scully could give him.

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader

{{-I'm back! Thank you so much for your patience, I'm doing a lot better and I've got a lot of ideas stirring up in my brain. Hopefully this is the last hiatus I need to take. Y'all are an amazing community and I'm glad to be a part of it ♡-}}

//General Warnings: 18+ Fix (MINORS DNI), Reader is implied to be afab and under 5'5.

Chapter Warnings: Flirting, maybe angst? Hmmm\\

Word Count: 3.8k

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 , @callsign-scully & @limecorpse

☆Love Ya To Death!☆

Chapter 16: Guess (Guess)

As usual, I find myself waking up pressed against Ted's chest, both of my arms loosely wrapped around his bare body. I already know he's awake, I can feel his fingers running little patterns on my back. Before I let him know I'm up, I concentrate on his touch, trying to see if I can guess what the shape is. I feel his chest hair tickling my cheek a little, our legs intertwined under the covers, his weight shifted a little so he wasn't crushing my left arm. Little hearts. He's drawing little hearts on my back. This guy....

"Wakey wakey..." Ted whispers to me in a sing-song tone, making the little hearts he's trailing on my back a little bigger to get more of my attention. Either he's been urging me to wake up little by little, or he's already aware I'm awake. God, he's the sweetest. I can't believe there was a time where I wasn't waking up in his arms. I don't think I ever wanna go back to waking up alone...

"For real, though, we gotta be downstairs in like...15 minutes.." Ted clears his tone, using the full palm of his hand to rub my back up and down, urging me more to wake up. I can't help but let out a little laugh, pulling back from his chest slightly so I can look up at him, taking in his handsome features while I still can.

"What, we can't--" My sentence is cut off by my own voice cracking, my throat dry as ever. An amused chuckle leaves Ted, stretching away from me for a moment to grab his water bottle, returning to my side after to hand it to me.

"Mine was bad when I woke up, too.." Ted spoke with a smile, watching as I take his water from him to take a good, long sip. I can hear Ted let out another low chuckle as I drink up over half of his water before finally pulling back with a heavy exhale. Fuck, I didn't realize I was so thirsty until now. I guess I should've had more to drink last night. I give Ted a thankful smile as I hand his water bottle back to him, watching him set it aside again before facing me once more, both of us now sitting up a bit in his bed.

"There, you were sayin'?.." Ted gestures to me with a smirk. I can tell he's amused with all of this, not just from the water, but from me being in his room. It's a nice change. He looks proud, he looks confident. Honestly, his mattress feels better than mine, though I'm probably only feeling this way because he's in it, for once.

"I was going to say 'we can't lay together for a bit?' but I think I can guess why.." I admit with a smile, adjusting myself so I wasn't pushing all of my weight down on my elbow.

"Oh, you can guess, huh?" Ted raises a curious brow at me, his confident smirk still spread along his blush toned lips.

"Yeah, I've got a good guess.." I return with a confident, but flirty tone, smiling back at him.

"Go on then. Guess."

"Yeah? You want me to?"

"Yeah. Guess."

"You turned our alarms off again, didn't you?"

"I absolutely did."

My guess being correct makes me lean my head back and laugh, adjusting myself so it was now my hand holding me up, pressing down on Ted's mattress. "Why?!" I laugh in disbelief, playfully furrowing my brows at Ted. "Why do you keep doing that?? We have a job to do, Teddy!"

"I-I like you gettin' your beauty sleep, babe!" Ted raises his hands defensively with a devilish little grin, shrugging slightly. "Ya needed the rest! I could tell!"

"I don't need beauty--why do you call me babe now?"

"I've called you babe before, why are you surprised?" Ted tilts his head a little and narrows his eyes. "You've got that babe vibe, I was thinkin' about it earlier. You've got the 'tude of a babe."

"The tude? Like the attitude?"

"Yeah."

"The attitude of a babe?"

"Yeah!"

"I thought I was a princess?"

"You can be both."

"I get 2 pet names now?"

"Yeah, you can have many names. Babe, Princess, pain in my ass, kindofalittlewhoorreee..." Ted purrs.

I playfully roll my eyes as Ted lists off some 'pet names', watching him leaning in slightly. I can't help but shake my head a little, a huff leaving me as my eyes meet Ted's once more. "Yknow, I was perfectly fine before you corrupted me.." I speak, loosely crossing my arms in front of my chest, still completely bare from last night.

"Corrupted you? What?" Ted narrowes his eyes again at me, lightly gliding his tongue along the ends of his top teeth. "What does that mean?"

"Before you made me this way, this--this--I.." I try to find the right words, but my mind immediately blanks out once Ted moves in a little closer, the tip of his nose lightly brushing against mine. It's like his every move is sucking the words out of my head. He knows it, too. He's got that stupid smile on his face again. He knows what he does to me.

"Wow, I really get you goin'.." Ted purrs, lowering his voice a little on purpose. I roll my eyes again, lightly frustrated at how effortlessly he makes me breathless.

"Stop trying to seduce me for like 5 seconds, I'm trying to compliment you." I let out a breathy chuckle as I speak, fixing up my hair a little.

"Can't help it, you're just really easy to seduce now.." Ted gives a casual shrug, his gaze flicking down to my lips as he speaks. "Now I can kiss ya whenever I want, it's hard."

"Kissing me's hard?"

"Not kissin' you's hard."

Ted gives me a small peck on the lips and gives me a little smile. I see a longing sparkle appear in his dark eyes as he meets my gaze once more before flicking down to my lips again. I can read him clearly. He wants more. He always wants a little more...

Ted's hand rests on my cheek as he leans in to properly connect our lips in a warm, wanting kiss. I return the kiss, allowing our lips to move together slowly, intimately. I feel lighter, I feel like we've risen up above the clouds, our lips cupping one another, hugging, enjoying, keeping us above the rest of the world. I feel like this everytime we kiss, everytime he gives me exactly what I'm longing for; what I'm thinking about. Nothing else compares. Not even pot comes close to getting me as high as Ted does. It's maddening. He's maddening. I'm sure I have the same effect on him.

"Told ya.." Ted breaks the kiss briefly to speak, a dry snicker bubbling out of his throat when I reach to place my free hand on his bare shoulder, moving in a little to lose myself in his embrace once more, until we're inevitably interrupted yet again...

I'm suddenly reminded of where we're supposed to be when I hear Joe and Tanner speaking to each other out in the hall, their conversation becoming quieter as they move downstairs for the day. Their voices cause me to break away from the kiss completely, my gaze going over to Ted's closed door. I keep forgetting that there are other people sleeping here every night. I'm sure Joe would've complained if anyone's actually heard Ted and I by now, but still, it makes me feel weird. I feel bad.

"Well, there it is.." Ted smirks, pulling away from me to move out of bed for the day. He grabs a pair of boxers for himself first before he tosses my pajamas over to me one by one. "Duty calls, princess.."

A bashful chuckle escapes me, moving my body to sit at the edge of Ted's bed so I could properly get dressed. I'm gonna have to go right into my room to change into something else, but I'm not takin' that walk naked. "Y'know, I'm starting to think we should slow down a little.." I admit with a shy smile, standing up off the bed as I slip my pajama pants back up.

"Slow down?" Ted repeats, his confidence wavering ever so slightly. "If this is about last night, I did offer my face.."

I stop and look at Ted, furrowing my brows. His face? What is he talking about? Last night we--

Oh.

"Wha--oh my god, no--" I sound completely embarrassed. I am embarrassed--

Right.

"I'm saying slow down because there's other people that sleep here every night, not because you didn't eat me out last night." I laugh a little, moving over to stand by him.

"M'kay, I was about to say.." Ted chuckles lightly, flicking his tongue side to side in his mouth as he looks at me. I could never get tired of the way he looks at me after we wake up together. It's like he's admiring his work while planning the next project. Is he always thinking about sex? Well, he is a guy...

"Are you still freakin' out over us leavin' the window open?" Ted asks, gesturing over to the window by his bed. Fuck, I had almost forgotten about that.

"I wasn't until now, thanks for the reminder." Another breathy chuckle leaves me and I put my hand on my hips, my gaze going to Ted's closed door again. I start to think of responses or excuses I could give out if Tanner, Joe or Dan start asking questions. No way am I gonna tell the complete truth.

'Oh don't worry about it, Ted and I were only smoking weed and fucking in his bedroom, just the exact thing you don't want us doing, nothing to fucking worry about there.'

I guess this is the part where I proclaim that it's all for love, but realistically I think I'm just a horrible friend. Sorry, Tanner.

"Guess we'll have to find other places, huh?" Ted speaks up to snap me out of my thoughts, nibbling a little on his lower lip. Oh god, I don't even wanna unpack what that could possibly mean right now, I gotta go get dressed. Still, I can't help but smile. Being with this man is so thrilling. I place both of my hands on Ted's chest and lean up to give a gentle kiss on his lips, grinning softly up at him.

"Get dressed, Theo.." I hum pleasantly, patting his bare chest a little before pulling away completely to exit his room, smiling like a big, proud idiot to myself. I hear Ted chuckle to himself as I close his door.

It doesn't take long for me to change into new clothes and do my usual morning routine, minus doing my makeup, we got a team for that after all. I'm out of my room in about 5 minutes, getting downstairs just in time to watch some of the team clearing out more of the living room. More ballroom dance training, probably. It's the biggest scene of the film, after all. It's gotta be perfect, or close enough.

Dan's helping some of the crew move some of the furniture outside while Tanner and Joe are in the living room with some breakfast and coffee. I watch their reactions closely when they spot me, they don't seem...uncomfortable or anything, though I'd be surprised if Tanner specifically heard anything, his A/C would've tuned out any noises, I'm sure. It's Joe I'm worried about. I walk up to them as they happily beckon me over. They seem eager to talk to me, it must be about the film.

"Hey, there's my favorite lead!" Tanner points at me, a genuine smile lifting his chubbier cheeks. I can instantly confirm that he knows absolutely nothing about last night. Good.

"Good morning.." I give a small smile, moving around Tanner to grab myself a bagel to put in the toaster. I might even make myself a coffee later, I feel a little tired now that I'm out of that room and among other people. "How's everyone feeling?"

"Pretty good. I'm actually getting used to these mattresses." Tanner admits, moving back a bit to give me some room on the kitchen counter. "Slept pretty well."

"Of course you're sleeping well, you've been sleeping on an actual bed 'the last week.." Joe smirks at Tanner, crossing his arms.

"I sleep in a bed otherwise." Tanner adds back, his tone dipped in amusement.

"You sleep on a futon that you've never actually spread out, you just keep it as a couch." Joe spreads his arms as he replies. "You literally sleep on a couch."

"It's a good couch."

"It's older than you are."

"It's reliable."

I'm definitely entertained, but I decide to interject. "I'm surprised you two didn't get married.." I speak up, moving around Joe to grab a plate from the top cupboards. "You bicker every morning.."

"At least we're bickering about couches this time." Tanner replies with a shrug.

"Yeah, we could go back to clitoris-es again." Joe adds with a humorous smirk, sweeping his hand through his mullet.

"Man, that reminds me, I can't believe it's been over a week already." Tanner spesks genuinely, turning his head to look at Joe. "We've been here for over a week.."

How does that remind Tanner of?--y'know what, not even gonna think about it. Tanner's Tanner.

"And we're basically almost done, right?" I ask, moving around the kitchen as the conversation continues. "Did you book us for 3 weeks just in case, or?.."

"Yeah, we're basically halfway done, technically. We're already over halfway done filming." Tanner admits, pulling out his phone to go over his notes.

"We've filmed all of the scenes with the extras during the first 4 days, we've filmed three out of the seven kiss scenes, we've filmed all of the establishing shots, we got the conflict scenes out of the way...it's honestly just a few more scenes and then the dream sequence and then we're done."

Wow, that was wild to think about. We've really been at it for the first week. I remember first walking into this place with Tanner like it was yesterday. I hadn't even noticed Ted until Conner had canceled on us. I mean sure, I met Ted, but I hadn't really noticed him. That's so strange. That's so strange to think about.

"Damn.." Joe speaks up, basically summarizing my thoughts aloud. "I'm proud of you, Tanner. You've worked hard on this."

"Awe, thanks Joe." Tanner's touched by Joe's compliment, setting his phone down on the counter behind him.

"Yeah honestly, I'm proud too man." I speak up as I take my bagels out of the toaster, smiling back at Tanner briefly. "I'm happy you let me be a part this. I love working with you guys."

"Thanks, (Y/N).." Tanner smiles at me as well, giving a little nod of agreement. "It's been so fun, I can't wait for you guys to see the final product. Everything's been literally perfect."

"I mean, it has me in it, it's gonna be perfect." Ted speaks as he comes down the stairs, now sporting a plain white shirt with a comfortable, multi-colored cardigan and some basic blue jeans. I have no idea how he can wear so many layers in California. I guess he's been here long enough to be comfortable with the heat.

"Hey! There's my other favorite lead!" Tanner points out at Ted as he approaches the kitchen, slipping his hands into his jeans pockets. "That's crazy! You're here too!"

"Yeah, it's almost like I'm supposed to be here.." Ted playfully side-eyes Tanner, joining in on the bit. "Some guy ate bad chicken and now I'm supposed to be here, like, every day.."

"You would've been here regardless." Tanner narrows his eyes a little at Ted.

"Yeah, but I'd be behind the camera." Ted adds with a smirk. "Wouldn't have to try on 50 suits to be behind the camera."

"Maybe you would've. Maybe I would've made you try on 50 suits."

"You would've made me try on 50 suits? For what?"

"Yeah, maybe, for Conner. He probably would've needed help."

"I can't believe he did that, man.." Joe speaks up, slowly shaking his head as he presses his finger and his thumb into the bridge of his nose. "This entire thing almost didn't happen because Conner decided to get KFC at 12 in fucking the morning--fucking, Conner.."

"It's kinda funny." Tanner adds with a light shrug, smirking slightly.

"It is kinda funny.." Joe immediately agrees with a little point to Tanner, cackling out some. "But it's only funny because Ted saved your asses, let's be real.."

"I'm glad I stepped in but I'll admit, it's weird not bein' the one directing.." Ted smirks, moving to stand at my side as I spread butter along my bagel. "I went to film school to direct, not act."

"You're surprisingly good at it." Tanner adds with a genuine smile. That would probably sound sarcastic if it were coming out of anyone else. "Oh! That reminds me. Ted, I wanna get your opinion on some of the shots from the other day."

"Yeah, sure, we goin' upstairs?" Ted asks, pointing back at the stairs. As they continue to speak, they begin moving over to head upstairs, leaving Joe and I in the kitchen.

"Yeah, your room okay?" Tanner asks, placing his hand on the railing as they move up.

"Yea--oh, uhh..." I hear Ted stammer nervously, giving me a knowing glance. "We, uh, we could look at it in your room.."

"...Why?" Tanner sounds genuinely confused. "You have the better setup."

"Yeah, but..." Ted pauses again, moving slower up the stairs. "...everything's gonna be edited on your PC anyways, right?..."

"...Yeah, alright. Makes sense."

Phew.

I turn my attention back to my breakfast, only to see that Joe is giving me a look. Oh boy, here we go.

"You two aren't even subtle anymore.." Joe speaks with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I...have no idea what you're talking about.." I feign ignorance, playfully turning my nose up at Joe. Honestly, I have no idea how to handle this situation gracefully. He clearly knows something, but I don't know how much he knows. I feel him move to stand more beside me, leaning back against the kitchen counter with his arms still crossed.

"Oh you don't?" Joe speaks up after a bit of silence, turning his body to face me completely. "You sure about that? Because I can smell the strain on you."

I pause what I'm doing, furrowing my brows in genuine confusion. Huh? "Strain?" I repeat, turning to look at Joe fully.

"Yeah, the strain I got for Ted the other day? The one you two smoked last night?"

My first instinct, for some reason, is to laugh. I cover my mouth to hold back my laughter, a humorous frown forcing the corners of my lips down. I'm not even upset that Joe has caught us. Of course he's the one that gave Ted weed, I should've seen it coming. Joe doesn't even seem to be mad either, at all. He starts having to hold back his own laughter, shaking his head at me.

"You guys are fucking bad, man." Joe crosses his arms again, a slight snicker slipping out. "Tanner smelled it when we passed Ted's room. I had to tell him there was a skunk outside last night!"

"Okay to be fair! To be fair--" I start to speak over Joe a little, still trying to contain my laughter. "I didn't plan to smoke with him! He started smoking before I even went in there!"

"You were in there with him before though."

"Yeah, to record his podcast, not to smoke with him! The smoking came after."

"After you had sex?"

"No, before we had sex, but I had a good reason!"

"Oh my god, (Y/N)..."

"I had a good reason!"

"Of course you did.."

"No I'm serious!"

"I'm sure it was a great reason.."

"Joseph!" I laugh, playfully swatting at him. "I mean it! Okay I know it's gonna sound bad, but the reason's good, I swear!"

"Oh I know, (Y/N), I'm well aware.."

"He--oh my god, Joe--We talked about your wedding!"

I expected Joe to look relieved, but if anything he looked...frustrated, maybe even a little upset? I could feel the entire vibe of the conversation shift. It starts to make me feel uncomfortable. The tension is heavy, and I'm not sure why.

"He finally told you what happened?" Joe asked, finally uncrossing his arms. "He had to get you high to tell you what happened?"

"Okay when you say it like that, it sounds bad." I shrug a little, letting out a chuckle to try and difuse the strange amount of tension in the room. "We're not teenagers, Joseph. I can handle myself. I was fine."

"You're fine?.." Joe repeats, narrowing his eyes at me. His visible frustration shifts into concern. I watch him shift a bit against the counter, his eyes looking me over, like he's looking for something. "...I figured you'd be more upset."

"Why would I be upset?" I ask with another little chuckle, crossing my own arms in front of my chest. "Because he originally went with his girlfriend? Why would that make me upset?"

"No, I just..." Joe's cut off by the sound of Ted and Tanner coming back down the stairs, glancing back briefly before turning to me again.

"So Ted told you everything last night?" Joe asks me, raising a brow at me.

"Yes." I answer simply, giving him a nod.

"Everything?"

"Yes! I'm not upset, I'm flattered, if anything.."

Joe seems to process my answer, but he doesn't look relieved. I watch as he turns back to look at Ted, who's getting his ear talked off by Tanner. Ted's gaze moves to Joe and I, his smile fading a little. I can't see what look Joe is giving him, but it's making Ted look a little uncomfortable. What's going on? What's the big deal? I thought Joseph would be happy for us. Ted clearly had a hard time telling me the truth last night, but he ultimately did. I'm happy he was able to open up, whatever it took.

Joseph turns to me again, the concern and frustration in his face completely gone. Maybe he's just upset that Ted had to get us high to tell the truth, but that's better than hiding it, right?

"...Alright, if you say so.." Joe sighs, taking his coffee off the kitchen counter. "Rehersal is in 20 minutes, if you're gonna make some coffee, do it now, and you might wanna go shower.."

"A-Alright.." I nod a little, watching Joe turn away and leave the kitchen. That was odd. I know I haven't smoked in years, but I'm not a teenager anymore, I can handle a bit of marijuana. I don't plan to smoke with him again, it was just for fun.

That can't be what Joe's so upset about, can it?...

__________________________________

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 (Here) || Chapter 17 || Chapter 18 (smut) || Chapter 19 || Chapter 20 || Chapter 21 || Chapter 22 || Chapter 23 || Chapter 24 (smut) || Chapter 25 (Final) ||

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 12 “x-cops” thoughts

last time we spoke... i was very pissed off.

but this time? i don’t have a single CLUE what to expect. 

a crossover with cops…? i used to watch that show as a kid. but those were real cops, right? honestly, i was WAY too young to be watching that show, and i don’t really understand the details of how it even worked. it always felt kinda illegal. but i am incredibly curious to see how it looks in crossover format.

i assume that they just used the same camera people for the x files as always, and that adjusting to this style of filming had to be super confusing. although, i suppose they could have hired the camera people from cops to do it?? either way, i can imagine that it gave everyone a headache after 7 seasons of standard procedural-style filming

i’m kinda giggling at how silly the whole thing is. all we can do at this point is begin!

(post-episode thoughts: still giggling, tbh. no real profound analysis to make here... except for on one brief on-camera conversation dealing with the world knowing about the x files. but other than that? a one way ticket to laughter city.

while i may find deep fault with the idea of the real TV show cops being used as entertainment, this time it wasn't real. and if there is one thing i admire above all else, it is commitment to the bit. please tell me what you thought, because i was having fun, lmao)

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED….. wasn’t that at the beginning of all cops episodes…? 

why the hell were my parents letting me watch that show so young? it basically says right there to NOT LET THE KIDS DO THAT. 

also. it doesn’t even say why viewer discretion is advised. vague ass warning…

i’m giggling already. 

BAHAHA, WAIT, I HIT PLAY AND THERE’S A NARRATION OVER THE WARNING, OHHHH MY GOD, THIS IS KILLING ME.

NOT THE FUCKING COPS SONG, OH MY GOD….. bad boys. bad boys. whatchu gonna do?

hold on, i can’t BREATHE. scully looking at something in this dude’s hand while the theme song plays. she’s so little.

THE SHAKY CAMERA AS THEY RUN AROUND.

oh my god. i might actually understand the pop culture references in this episode because i was allowed to watch cops way too early in life. i guess i must say thank you to my parents for allowing me to experience this in context.

stop, this is so fucking funny. HOW was this concept pitched??? THE BLURRED FACE ON THE SUSPECT…

i’m in awe…. the woman (me) was too stunned to speak…

oh my god. the “all suspects are innocent until proven guilty in the court of law” disclaimer after the intro. that is a deep memory being unlocked in me right now. oh my god…

this sheriff is saying that a full moon brings out the worst in people. oh my, this note taking process is going to be very interesting. are we dealing with werewolves? 

his name is keith wetzel. and he hasn’t been on the job that long, but he has seen some crazy stuff. he’s a handsome guy, i suppose. but he used the word “irregardless”, which makes him instantly unattractive to me.

we have a report of somebody lurking around the neighborhood, making noise. not sure if that is a crime, tbh. wait. he amends his initial comment. it is not a person. it is a monster? he is confused. “hey, it’s a full moon”.

he thinks the suspect will be rattling on doorknobs, trying to steal some money, and perhaps we can sneak up on them. yes, “we”, because i suppose the audience is included in this activity, huh? he says some police code into the radio thingy. they looooove to say police code into the radio thingy on this show. 

and he goes out with a flashlight, walking around. shining it on stuff. it’s very quiet. he reports he doesn’t see anything.

i also forgot to mention that they’re in california.

cop man wetzel psssts at a kitty in this lady’s yard, which is pretty endearing, i'll give him that. gasp! there are claw marks on the woman’s door!!! “maybe a big dog” bro. what kinda dogs have you seen on the job?

he uses his big scary man voice to announce that he is from the sheriff’s department. a woman answers the door, speaking in rapid spanish, saying something about a “claw monster”

wetzel tries to say "no monster" in very bad spanish. closes the door. and hears some thunking. yells at someone to FREEZE. but there seems to be nothing around!!! 

more clattering… and he says RUN, RUN TO THE CAR NOW! but the camera man trips!!!

and the bleeped out explicit language…. LMAO. another element of this show i had forgotten.

for the record, i do not feel the streets are any safer with this guy on them if he just runs away when he sees a monster. he calls for assistance, and when he goes to drive away, he hits something. 

the car gets like… ripped open???

LMAOOOO, AND THEN WE GET THE CLASSIC INTRO

i’m so thrown off here, but i’m sat. you KNOW i’m sat. what the hell is going on? you better dance! it's a very short intro. and we are reminded that the truth is out there.

a bunch of sirens are wailing as wetzel crawls out of the car. it has been completely thrown over!!! sergeant duthie (new character alert!) asks if everyone is alright. she’s asking who tf attacked wetzel's car, and he decides to go with the claim it was a bunch of gangbangers. he can’t answer how many there are. but then they hear there are armed suspects, and run off. 

will these suspects be our agents??

run, run, run, run…. so much running. this show is mostly running.

NOOOOO, IT *IS* OUR AGENTS!!! they are told to get their hands up and LOUDLY DECLARE THEY ARE FBI. the disrespect these two face… surrounded by so many cops with guns...

scully looks very calm as mulder tells them to CHECK HIS ID. IN HIS BACK POCKET. 

LMAOOOO, the cops give their guns back, and mulder looks RIGHT into the camera as scully asks what the hell is going on here. also, they’re looking for a who, not a what, he says. so jot that down.

more claw marks are found!!! mulder asks what wetzel saw. he says something about it being super dark… “well, you must have seen something in order to run away from it” <- yeah. get him. catch him in his lies!

there have been half a dozen monster sightings in this area over the last 60 days!!! the police say they were not aware of this. how did they not know...? and they are only reported during full moons.

mulder launches into his werewolf theory despite all the cameras rolling. he really is so truly and deeply himself. no matter what. baby…

SCULLY HIDING FROM THE CAMERAS, LMAOOOO!!!!! she does NOT want to deal with this.

YOWCH!! wetzel was BIT!! scully runs in to examine the wound and then darts back out. while wetzel denies seeing what mulder is describing. 

he’s looking at the bites with great interest. “what the hell are you describing?” asks duthie. “a werewolf” “excuse me?” <- LMAOOOO 

another guy died during the last full moon after being attacked!! and before he did, he gave a detailed description of who or what he saw. mulder gestures to scully saying they’re here to catch it, but she’s still hiding from the camera!!!!! i can't blame her!!! i wouldn't want a camera in my face!!

he says that wetzel must go into isolation since he’s been bit, which gags both of the cops.

SCULLY PULLS HIM OVER TO CHAT, LMAOOO “mulder, have you noticed we’re on television?” “i don’t think it’s live television, scully, she just said (beep)” <- LMAOOOOOO 

she grabs him and keeps walking. “but it’s a camera, and it’s recording. it’s recording everything that you are saying. do you understand that? i just want to make sure that you’re clear on that” <- BAHAHAAAA

he is so excited, though, because he thinks they can capture proof of a werewolf on TV!! awwww ☹️

“look, mulder, you want to talk about werewolves to me, you can knock yourself out. i may not agree with you, but at least i’m not going to hold it against you, but this… mulder, this could ruin your career”

he laughs “what career? scully, i appreciate it. you don’t want me looking foolish. i do, i appreciate that”

“i don’t want *me* looking foolish, mulder”

OH! 

the way he didn’t even consider she was interested in protecting her own image at first….

this is juicy. is he so used to her kindness that he forgets she has her own self-interest? mentally, does his self-interest always come first?

but also, yowch. the reminder that she is still somewhat ashamed of what they do...

can you blame her, though? i don't want to be on TV for any reason, let alone for my secret job hunting aliens. people don't need to look at me. i am sure she feels the same.

well, regardless of how you want to dissect and interpret this conversation, he at least handles it like a pro moving forward, asking her to please go with wetzel to the hospital. she sighs loudly. and tells mulder to call skinner, who she is sure is going to have plenty to say. she pulls out her phone.

the camera lingers on her. “guys, give it a rest, huh?” LMAOOO, she covers it up with her hand.

i support scully beating up the camera people like bjork did that one time. different situation, but still.

they go back to the woman who made the report, and a spanish speaking cop is getting her story while she talks frantically. mulder has her describe what she saw to a sketch artist.

duthie still can’t believe mulder really thinks they’re looking for a werewolf, even as he talks to the camera about the spread of the claws on this woman's door- just like a human hand! he's acting like it's a nature documentary. i love that for him.

and he pulls out the sketch the other victim described. it is a stereotypical werewolf. looks like bro printed out a werewolf coloring page. that’s my king. my heart swells with pride.

NOOOOO…. this woman describes freddy krueger, LMAOOOO. the cop is mean to mulder- but he just says it’s strange. a very measured mulder response! duthie declares they are looking for gangbangers. and ricky the sketch artist asks for an escort back to his car.

the woman who made the report is still frantic. as they leave, she asks mulder to catch him. and he nods. MY BOYYYYY ☹️☹️

who would have thought the cops episode would give me mulder feelings…?

scully comes back. wetzel has been released. turns out what was on his arm were a bunch of insect bites or stings in a pattern. i don’t buy it!! she makes a comment about how you can see things you want to... the camera zooms in. “although… it was an understandable conclusion that i’m sure anybody would have made” <- LMAOOO, she’s trying to have his back on camera despite just calling him out. THAT’S A GOOD FRIEND!!

HE’S SMILING AT HER….. oh my god. he thinks this is so funny. he loves scully and will gaze at her on national television.

skinner says the FBI has nothing to hide, and neither do our agents. so. i guess the cameras keep rolling. “well, if it makes you feel any better, scully, i’m not entirely convinced that we’re looking for a werewolf anymore” “oh. all right, good” <- LMAOOOOOO, HER TONE IS KILLING ME. I AM DEAD. TYPING FROM THE GRAVE.

he is very serious as he says it might be some other kind of creature. but then the radios go off- 6 blocks from here, something is happening!

the agents get in the car and scully shuts the car door and tells the camera person to go with someone else LMAOOOOOO, I LOVE HERRRR

there’s a man down! and you had best bet scully is going to get to the front of the crowd to help him out!!! she’s a doctor!!

NOOO. it’s ricky!!! the sketch artist!! he has claw marks in his vest! and when she pushes on them, they bleed!!

BAHAHA, THE COPS AND X FILES LOGOS BEING MIXED AS THEY FADE TO COMMERCIAL…

an excellent moment for me to pause and take stock. 

well, they will never be able to go undercover again like they did in arcadia, because now the whole world has seen their faces ☹️ this is so sad. all undercover fics must be set before this episode.

this is so fucking funny though. imagine scully’s friends and family seeing this on TV. GOD. the poor woman. her brother is going to be SUCH an asshole about the whole thing. whereas mulder just wants the whole world to know about werewolves!! he sees an opportunity!! never doubting himself for a second!

and she was trying to defend him to the whole world, and his BIG GOOFY SMILE at her doing so, even though she said she didn’t want to look like a fool… just kiss on camera already.

i’m having so much fun. still want to know who came up with this. but we’re trucking along.

wetzel explains that when an officer goes down- or even somebody working part time with the department in an artistic capacity- they all feel it. “but that’s when you got to cowboy up and give 150%” <- i would be interested to know the percentage of what he has been giving so far, since he has ran away from a monster and also lied about what he has seen.

there is soooo much blood where they found ricky's body. the last call from the phone where they found him was ricky trying to get help for a flat tire.

mulder is crouched on the ground. pondering. and he pulls out the freddy krueger drawing. she asks what that is. and laughs a little- it’s more of a huff. it’s adorable.

aha! detective scully is on the case! somebody lost a nail! “nice color” says mulder. dork. there’s blood on it!! and he demands to know who called 911.

maybe the werewolf called 911…? because they are aware that they are hurting people? but if they’re in werewolf mode, that would probably be very hard. who is keeping an eye on wetzel, btw?!!

they go to chat with whoever made the call. mulder asks if they are talking to THE steve and edy, and i don’t know what he means. is it possible that these are reoccurring characters from the show that the real cops chat with on the regular to get scoops? somehow, i doubt it. regardless of if he really means anything or is just being a silly goose, he looks at scully and laughs. so he thinks he’s funny, which is important.

we are introduced to 2 people, one of whom is running away “like she gone run from a camera” LMAO

they report hearing screaming, and the boy (ricky) being curled up on the ground. 

“i’m ready for my closeup” “oh, ain’t nobody care about your scabby ass” <- BRUTAL! but they didn’t see an attacker- just ricky rolled up and yelling.

mulder shows them the sketch. they don’t recognize anything, but comment on how frightening it is. scully shows them the nail. “chantara. i know that skanky-ass color anywhere” <- LMAOOOO, these queens… the tea is being clocked on this evening.

mulder stutters over his words, saying they will go talk to chantara, who works the corner. he's looking at scully and laughing. “well, i wish you would” 

LMAOOOO, EITHER STEVE OR EDY- NOT SURE WHICH SINCE WE DIDN'T GET A PROPER INTRODUCTION- asks “when i’ma get my own tv show?” and begins singing. a show girl!!! EDY AND STEVE! YOU HAVE MY HEART!!!

the camera person is now in the car as mulder describes the suspect- chantara- has bubblegum pink hair. “that’d be a good color for you, scully” <- LMAO?? ON CAMERA??? HE IS SAYING THIS SHIT ON NATIONAL TV??? she doesn’t say anything.

he says they’re usually more certain of what they are investigating at this point, but there have been so many varying reports! but he is certain they are paranormal crimes. 

he keeps stuttering…. he’s nervous to be a TV star!!! scully stays silent.

scully spots the bubblegum pink hair!!! and they run off!! scully tells chantara not to run but. she’s trying. she’s crying. saying she didn’t do nothing. she tried to help him, but ran when she heard the sirens. also, you must understand, we cannot see her face. because all suspects in cops get their faces blurred. which is killing me because this is still the x files.

mulder gets between her and the camera, saying that they will believe whatever it is she tells them- she doesn't need to worry about them thinking whatever she has to say is outlandish. it was very sweet of him to block the camera from filming her head on.

why does scully know what “my boyfriend” is in spanish….? queen. anyway, chantara says someone has been chasing her for a week. chuco. the cops know who he is. 

well. i don’t. so this is a little confusing.

they are taking chantara in the cop car! duthie is telling chantara that she is not out of the woods with accessory charges, and they need to find chuco so they can let her go. she keeps saying he will kill her- he'll twist her head like a chicken. duthie promises no one will hurt her. wetzel will keep an eye on her. NOOOO! NOT THE COP INFECTED WITH WOLF SPIT IN CHARGE OF KEEPING HER SAFE!!

scully walks away. takes her jacket off and puts it back on, which is very cute. she hands the paper with chuco’s face on it to mulder, who declares he is not their guy- he can’t turn over a car! well, maybe he had help!

the cops and agents are running off into a very sketchy and scary house. lots of running on this show. breaking into chuco’s place. lots of shouting. girl, who has a baby in this environment?!!

they find chuco lying in vomit- gross- it looks like he overdosed and died. but how long ago, asks mulder. scully says a couple days, maybe a week- he didn’t attack ricky, that’s for sure. then shots are fired outside!! lots of shots!!!!

wetzel is shooting at something. saying it came back, it was here. he says he did everything he could do.

it looks like chantara is dead, her neck indeed twisted like a chicken. justice for my girl… i really don't know if wetzel did everything he could for her.

duthie wants someone to explain what the hell is going on. mulder thinks maybe wetzel hit what he was aiming for- it was him firing all of those bullets we heard a moment earlier. and he goes over to talk to him. scully joins them. 

he claims he saw “the wasp man”. even mulder is taken aback by this, but all things considered, he takes it in great stride. wetzel’s older brother used to tell him stories about a monster- a big wasp with stingers for teeth.

so is this beast that they are after a shapeshifter?? that takes your biggest fear’s shape?? hence the werewolf for the guy that died, freddy krueger for the first woman, and wasp stings for him?? 

mulder assures wetzel that whatever he saw, it is possible

“scully, we came in this case looking for a werewolf, right?” “well, you did, that’s correct” <- LMAOOOO, set the record straight!!

he points out that the injuries match the reported forms of those who received them, and maybe there’s some shapeshifting going on. maybe it feeds on fear.

oh, i just love her. “okay, well, for the sake of this argument… how would one catch something like that?” <- said by a very smart and tired woman who has had years of experiencing dealing with his absurd claims and knows how to respond without indicating belief.

he decides they must figure out how it picks its prey!! it is a clever response. but they’re missing someone… steve and edy! they were a part of that chain.

they go back to revisit the queens. and mulder is, at this point, confidently narrating to the camera. LMAO, SCULLY IS THROWN OFF BY THIS: “i’m sorry, are you talking to me?” 

mulder must have always secretly dreamed of having a camera crew following him, because he seems a little TOO into it

they hear screams! and the agents burst in!!! 

it seems they were having a fight. and mulder is caught in the middle. "he won't make love to me" "oh" scully’s face, LMAOOOO. 

mulder is trying to calm them down with very poor results and quips that they should stay here for a little while, LMAO. 

in their defense, i wouldn’t be reassured either, because mulder doesn’t even know what they’re looking for!! and he says as much!!

maybe their worst fear is breaking up?? and the monster is manifesting as that??

mulder sits down with edy, who says he is scared. and steve wants to go to bed. i can’t blame him. edy says he’s scared steve will leave him. mulder could have been a great therapist in another life. steve and edy hug.

scully asks if they should take them to a motel- LMAO, I DID NOT SEE HER HIDING ON THE COUCH, BAHAAHAAA!!! but steve says that they have been living here for 17 years and will NOT be chased out! “you’re not afraid?” “now, i didn’t say that. i said ain’t nobody going to chase us out” <- it is an important distinction. and a brave choice. my heart is with you, steve and edy.

more camera people pull up and scully is NOT pleased “oh god. more of you?” <- LMAOOOO. they ask if they’re any closer to an arrest. it’s 1 am!! leave them alone!!! there are only a few more hours of moonlight!

scully wants to investigate chantara's body, and mulder says to make it fast and fill the tank up with gas (lmao). then he goes to talk to wetzel. i assume they cannot show an autopsy on TV. but what do i know?

scully is staring at the camera… did the camera person get in the car with her? it is hard to tell.

in a different car, wetzel is shocked that mulder believes him, and asks why. “and what about your partner? does she believe me?” “i don’t think she thinks you’re lying” <- a very diplomatic response. wetzel is worried about having a reputation as the crazy one. how can he deal with that? mulder says to do good work, i guess. which has had mixed results for him. but it’s still sweet and genuine advice.

wetzel is going on about how lots of people want to kill cops, and any day could be the one they get him.....

WHAT! they ARE filming the autopsy in the cops style??? i do not remember this in other episodes of the real show. they’re blurring everything out. scully is trying to explain what is going on to the assistant who is asking about ghostly killings and contagions. scully assures her that chantara is NOT contagious- this isn't the hantavirus- which only fuels the assistant's anxiety even more as she tries to figure out wtf scully meant by that. IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!

LMAOOOOO, SCULLY IS GETTING FED UP, BUT TRYING SO HARD TO BE POLITE. why are there cameras, this lady asks. she smiles. because the FBI has nothing to hide. LMAO... SHE’S SUCH A LITTLE SMARTASS, BAHAHA

NOOOO, all of a sudden, this lady is sneezing blood. and she starts choking!! is her fear the hantavirus and somehow she summoned it?

i don’t even know what exactly that is. but now is scully exposed?? 

when mulder arrives, scully promises that it is NOT the hantavirus that killed the assisstant. even if it looks exactly like it. but the symptoms developed in seconds! no virus in the world kills that fast! 

poor scully is exasperated, while mulder thinks the fear killed the assistant. OHHH, scully says she WAS scared- she has no idea what is going on here! but the terror she felt wasn't mortal. and neither was the terror of steve and edy. so the force left them alone. that's his theory, at least.

mulder wants to find wetzel. who is now at a place with the title card of “crack house”. wow!

it’s nearly 5 am!! wetzel seems twitchy. he’s going in…. but then there is lots of loud slamming from inside the crack house!!! and he says they have to get out!!! they can’t open the door!! banging, banging, the camera drops!!

agents are circling back. as are many other cops. more running. they can’t get the door open. so they go around the back and somehow manage to break in. the door slams behind the agents! “wind?” “if you say so” LMAO

the cops can’t get the door open with the battering ram. they hear something… mulder opens a closet door. LMAO, the camera men are hiding. scully tells them she hates them. where is wetzel?? there is blood on the floor!! on the walls!!! they hear him screaming!!! he's saying to get this "thing off" of him. 

mulder yells at him to not be afraid, it can’t hurt you, and he’s on TV, so cowboy up!! he starts screaming that it can’t hurt him. and finally mulder gets in there. 

he’s alive, but it looks like something gnawed his arm. the sun just came up. wetzel is taken away on a stretcher. mulder says there is enough fear in the world. whatever it is will probably show up again next full moon.

“you didn’t get the proof that you wanted, mulder” “well, hey, you know” (he points at the camera) “it all depends on how they edit it together”

“it’s going to be a hard one to write up”

thus concludes our episode. 

LMAOOO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY

did they solve anything? no. did scully nearly lose it? yes. multiple times. poor girl. did mulder think the whole situation was funny? yes, also multiple times. 

giggling. very hard. god, the canon world implications of them being on TV like that…

well, there were so many episodes of that fucking cops show, hopefully the other ones were more memorable and their covers were not totally blown. but i doubt it. 

maybe in other episodes of cops, they actually caught stuff, though. so in that regard, those episodes would be more memorable than even the wasp man. and poor wetzel shall be branded crazy forever. 

i just can’t stop wondering who tf came up with this. it’s season 7 and they are airing anything. i love it.

was i taken out of the universe by the change in structure? yeah, kinda. but i suppose it isn’t too unheard of- post-modern prometheus also messed with how the story was delivered, in a way that was more subtle- black-and-white film, old horror movie sounds and tropes.

i have to give it until tomorrow to let my thoughts sink in because 💀💀💀

okay, it is tomorrow. what i am i thinking?

i had a lot of laughs. the story itself didn't make perfect sense- a shapeshifting force takes the appearance of the biggest fear in a dangerous neighborhood. and we meet the varying cast of characters who tell that story along the way. but it wasn't about making sense, was it? it was about being the most ambitious crossover event of all time.

i enjoyed this one. i giggled! i loved scully being embarrassed but still trying to stand up for him!!! that is friendship!! do not film her!! she hates you!! and mulder being SO excited to talk to the cameras and prove the existence of werewolves... bahaha

this reminds me that i also need to watch the simpsons crossover episode at some point. and naturally i need to make a post for that, too. i couldn't NOT do that! i assume i can just watch it whenever since the laws of canon likely do not transfer over neatly to the cartoon dimension? i've only ever seen a few episodes of the simpsons, but i'm still really excited. i guess this show was pervasive, huh?!