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since the first seasons monologue carmy says: And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got. And the routine of the kitchen was so consistent and exacting and busy and hard and alive, and I lost track of time, and he died.
and we saw him repeat that exact same pattern, reliving his trauma at EMP, turning into David and losing his connection to his family and friends.
the scene with David and Terry were definitely the turning points.
carmy’s always running out of time
i just need to get this out of my head once and for all.
i don’t know if someone has already mentioned this, but time is a recurring issue for carmy this season. He often feels like he’s behind schedule or something.
watching it for the first time i didn’t notice carmy’s mention to time until i got to the syd and carmy scene in episode 9., so i decided to rewatch just to catch every time he mentions it throughout the season.


so he’s reasoning to stop smoking was time, not health. it was the means to get to the end goal (get the star, not let the team alone) he wants to stay sharp and focused and he can’t waste five minutes on a cig break. so he gets the nicotine tablets instead.
(just a side note: ijbol every time his speech was compromised by the damn tablets I couldn’t take him seriously when he was fighting to not spit that thing out. i also wanted to smack that shit out of his mouth so many times)
not smoking leaves him impatient and more sassy than ever, and I can’t help but to trace a parallel line between not smoking and his sudden bursts of anger (him telling nat to figure out the money thing and stomping out of the office)
when sugar comes in she asks him why is he doing all that for, his answer is straight forward:

we see the first glimpse of the carmy we’re gonna see for the rest of the season: impatient, anxious and snippy.
in episode 3, doors, when richie comes up with his own non-negotiables list, he gets angry and defensive that someone would try and challenge his ideas. but he doesn’t have time to explain why cause he’s running out of time. He doesn’t even want to listen, cause he’s running out of time.


in episode 5, children, uncle jimmy brings the computer to run an analysis on the restaurant finances and things aren’t looking too good, but carmy, once again, refuses to listen, he just wants to get back to work and block all noise

it gets to the point jimmy has to pull him aside cause he’s being so annoying about it.
then we have episode 7, legacy, where we have this:

this scene, once again, reinforces the idea of him always getting ahead on the next thing, never really enjoying the moment he’s in cause he has a job to do.
he barely lets sydney finishes her sentences, he already has everything mapped out in his head and thinks he doesn’t need to let her in the loop. he never slows down, is go go go time in his mind.
every second counts.
then finally, episode 9, apologies, where he apologizes to syd, he’s tired of always getting ahead, he wants to do differently:

she’s the only person he apologizes for constantly pushing for time and making her constantly having to play catch up.
as sydney states, it wasn’t a skill issue, but communication, something that she told him before and he didn’t listen. he never enjoyed the moment.
it made me think of when sydney asked him in episode 5 if he knew what he had was special when he was working under chef terry and he said he was always too busy to know it at the time.
now that he’s faced with ever closing, a place he thought it would last forever, I think he’s ready to admit that he doesn’t have to run anymore, he needs to stay in the moment.
(now this is just crack but this is so non-stop by hamilton coded lmfao
the man thinks he’s Alexander Hamilton writing the other 51 confederalist papers, assuming he’s the smartest in the room and that attitude will be his doom, sorry for the ref)
#the bear#the bear meta#carmy berzatto#carmy meta#every second counts#nicotine gum#carmys michelin star mode#cbs3e2#cbs3e3#sydcarmy#sydcarmy s3#sydcarmy meta#sydcarmy s3 meta#scs3e7#scs3e7meta#scs3e9#scs3e9meta#scs3e5#scs3e5meta#user change#lmao the hamilton reference#this man has always had a problem with sitting in the present and smelling the roses#he just has the absolute worst take on chef terrys saying 'every second counts'#and its all a result of his trauma unprocessed grief guilt over wasting time in season 2 & loosing time when mikey died#hey fun fact: i stopped midway through this reading to change my user#(ive been wanting to change it for a while and i relate to carmy in that feeling of the clock always running#+ its one of the songs off of one of the most perfect paramore albums)
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