#screaming-mustard

[paranormaljones]

I'm rereading Lockwood & Co. and I just started The Screaming Staircase and. the thought of little 8-year-old Lucy Carlyle walking around in an agency uniform actually makes me so sick to my stomach.

[yeehawfolk]

Jesus, nearly a decade since the show aired and so much of the SU fandom still can't understand that Jasper wasn't an antagonist simply because she was the most evil Gem in existence, but rather she was ALSO victimized by the Authority and traumatized by the "death" of her Diamond. Like you can't tell me her whole thing when Steven offers to help her when she is corrupting and she says he comes to people after they've failed, because doing so makes them feel like less of a failure wasn't directly inspired by Diamond leadership, lmao. White even says something similar to Steven in Change Your Mind. "You like surrounding yourself with inferior lifeforms so that you can be the best of the worst."

Yes, Lapis and Jasper were in a toxic relationship in the form of Malachite. No, Lapis was not UNIQUELY victimized by this and Jasper is pure evil. It's been said many times by Rebecca Sugar that Lapis and Jasper had a mutual toxic relationship going on with Malachite, and that this was equally bad for both of them; this doesn't make Lapis completely innocent, nor does it make Jasper completely innocent. It's two abuse victims going at it with one another because its the only coping mechanism they can afford at the moment. It's messy, its ugly, and so many people only want to talk about how horrible Lapis had it because she's a more palatable character than Jasper.

I'm not saying what Jasper did wasn't awful. It was. But you also have to look at her character and realize that a lot of it came from being under the Diamonds. Jasper is also a victim of the Diamond Authority, but because we don't see her resolution with it all on screen like Lapis, lots of fans gloss over the fact that she's also a victim, and isn't uniquely evil.

Like. Can y'all please use nuance when talking about Malachite, Lapis, and Jasper instead of jumping to "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH LAPIS WAS JUST AN INNOCENT UWU BABY ABUSE VICTIM AND JASPER IS THE MEAN EVIL TOXIC ABUSER" because that's absolutely not accurate and even Rebecca Sugar has said this isn't an accurate portrayal of what happened with Malachite. Rebecca Sugar herself said that they were in a mutually toxic relationship, and that that was by design on the part of the crew.

Jasper isn't uniquely evil and people defending her aren't abuse apologists, or trying to frame it as JASPER is the innocent person in the equation. Most people defending her are instead saying "Yeah, she's a shithead, but she also had her own issues that caused a lot of it, like Lapis."

And before anyone tries to come for me in the comments/reblogs: I'm also a victim of abuse. I know at least a little bit about what I'm talking about. You don't have to like Jasper, just don't show your ass when someone defends her or says they like her, or get rude about abuse apologism when someone points out that they were, in fact, in a mutually toxic relationship.

[whosname]

Our Sugar King. Our Mayo King.

[scoundrels-in-love]

I got exactly 1 like on my post about unhinged dice sharing, so here's to you @spacepandar EDIT: and you too @joycrispy

First up, we've got Daisy Chain set

Did I think those were teeth at first glance? I sure did! Does it change how I feel about them? Nope. In fact, what is more badass than the sharp edged beauty of Nature that will devour you?!

THE ENDLESS CYCLE OF CONSUMPTION AND REBIRTH/10

Sacred Flame set

Sink into the colors of the holy fire, the burning rage of a cleric personified. Look at the gentle shimmer of golden hues shifting into the purples, swirling higher and higher. The only and the last sunset you ever wanted

Death wish/10

Succulent set

Just look at them! It's bunch of little guys!! Thriving in unwelcoming environment (battle with the BBEG at your table). And they won't die even if you forget to water them for the entire year. Who else is doing it like them? NOBODY. And they believe you can do it, too!

1000 levels of wholesome/10

Sigil Green set

Have I ever held these? No. Do I know they'd make me feel like a FUCKING BADASS if I did? Hell to the yeah. JUST LOOK AT THEM. They don't need to be literally sharp edged when they're looking this sharp. Get it? ... Moving on.

Microdosing on wizard coolness/10

Class Rogue set

If you're more of literal stab-stabby type, don't worry I got you! The d4 fulfills its destiny as melee weapon. AND HAS ONE INSIDE. In perpetual swirl of the enemy blood, there's no edgier way to say your parents are dead to your table than slapping these bad boys down.

So many stabs/10

This post is not sponsored by Mint and Mustard, only slight fever and love for click clack math rocks. However, do check their site out (or Etsy) out as they've got 20% discount going on their site right now and have loads of other fun stuff for ttrpg nerds.

[cosmic-cd]

stares into the void. i've been careful about avoiding wheat/gluten due to celiac for years and years and years. i've not had any major infractions in over a decade

GUESS WHO DIDN'T CHECK A LABEL ON MUSTARD

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[plutotheforgotten]

Mustard Service is literally such good music to smoke to

[kitty-meowskers]

i was listening to this and like.... THIS IS KAVETHAM/HAIKAVEH, NO????

[znerac]

THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME HOLY SHIT

I watched Deadpool and Wolverine today :-)) <33

[rika-hatsuya]

Japan trip 2024: FOOD (part one)

[breadmercury]

Snapping myself out of ptsd flashbacks by painting my nails a horrendous shade of yellow. I can't be wrapped up in trauma brain when I'm cackling bc it looks like I dipped my nails in mustard

[kyrsteniopsis]

Every Target, TJ Maxx, HomeGoods, Hobby Lobby, and Michaels dropping a fall collection on August 1st:

[sinceileftyoublog]

Riot Fest 2023 Preview: 4 Reasons to Come Early, 1 to Stay Late

Just Mustard; Photo by Olof Grind

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Is it me, or is this the biggest Riot Fest yet? The independently run festival has managed to book bands that can fill arenas (Foo Fighters, The Cure), in-demand anniversary full album plays (Transatlanticism, Give Up, Last Splash), and previous headliners as sub-headliners (Queens of the Stone Age). As always, though, there are just as many highlights in the fine print as on the first row. Here are our top 5 picks: 4 reasons to show up before sunset, 1 to stay till the very end.

FRIDAY

Quasi; Photo by John Clark

Quasi, 1:25 PM, Roots Stage

A couple years ago, if you had asked me what band I thought would have a post-pandemic reunion, Quasi would have been at the bottom of my list. The duo of Sam Coomes and ex-Sleater-Kinney drummer Janet Weiss hadn't released a full-length since 2013, and in 2019, a car crashed into Weiss's car, which broke both of her legs and collarbone. As it turns out, during her recovery and COVID lockdown, Weiss, along with Coomes, used free time to bang out new songs in Quasi's practice space. The result is their Sub Pop debut and first album in 10 years, the awesomely titled Breaking the Balls of History, released earlier this year. The album is certainly of a time and place, riddled with references to pandemic-era isolation and the anti-science Neanderthals that have dominated discourse on the political right. But what stands out more is how revitalized these two sound to play music together, and Weiss in general. If her departure from Sleater-Kinney came after an album that minimized her role as a drummer, her meaty fills absolutely dominate "Last Long Laugh", "Queen of Ears", "Riots & Jokes", and "Nowheresville". In tandem with Coomes' fuzzed-out guitar and warped keyboards, Weiss' timekeeping creates an almost retrofuturist aesthetic, 60's pop harmonies rubbing elbows with distorted keys and drums on tracks like "Shitty Is Pretty". And The one I can't wait to hear most at the festival is "Doomscrollers", a surefire anthem for those crumbling under the weight of the world--or their phones--and even "everyone else just tryna get by / To stay alive or at least not die."

Screaming Females

Screaming Females, 4:50 PM, Rebel Stage

Desire Pathway (Don Giovanni), the first album in 5 years from the New Jersey punk greats, is a an album inspired by and about breakup and heartbreak. Thankfully, it doesn't sound down in the dumps. In fact, it's quite the contrary, the hardest rocking Screaming Females album yet, less snot-nosed punk and more mammoth metal. As much as Marissa Paternoster likens herself to "a freight train in the desert dragging chains," her theatrical vocal performances and limber axe wielding show a musician at the top of her class. The album starts unexpectedly, with feedback-heavy synths on "Brass Bell", but not before Paternoster and drummer Jarrett Dougherty enter with power riffs and snares akin to your favorite sludge band. Even a summertime sadness rave-up like "Ornament" yields the same sneering, anthemic quality as the best Screaming Females songs, Paternoster menacingly chanting, "An ornament / Your head hangs heavy on it." So as much as she offers a sense of humility on "Let Me Into Your Heart" and "Titan", don't get in her way on Friday.

Foo Fighters, 8:00 PM, Riot Stage

You know the story by now. In a short amount of time, Dave Grohl experienced two devastating losses: the passing of his mother Virginia and the tragic, sudden death of Foo Fighters' longtime drummer, Taylor Hawkins. Such periods of shock often cause massive shifts in life perspective, and perhaps, as a silver lining, it caused him to rethink things musically. Songs on recent Foo Fighters albums seemingly followed the tired formula of starting out quiet and melodic and building into an instrumental avalanche and full-throated screams. But Here We Are (Roswell/RCA), on which Grohl plays all the drums, instead recalls earlier Foo Fighters albums with confident and consistent paces and even explores new territory for the Rock and Roll Hall of Famers. It starts immediately raw and in shock on "Rescued", Grohl describing learning about Hawkins' death in clear terms: "It came in a flash / It came out of nowhere." Elsewhere, the wah wah guitars of an umptempo jam like "Under You" recall the talk box thrills of an older tune like "Generator", and the strutting drum and guitar interplay of "Nothing At All" ascends with a clatter like the band's early Aughts records.

As But Here We Are goes on, the band opts for the unexpected. On the self-reflexive "Show Me How", Grohl and his daughter Violet duet over shoegaze electric guitars and dream pop strumming, singing about his mom's passing, realizing the same thing will one day happen for Violet. The penultimate "The Teacher" is like a ten-minute question, Grohl wondering how to deal with grief and anxious about life and death, wincing, "Who's at the door now?" over scraped guitars and strings. The song slows down and rebuilds gradually with a chugging drum beat and chiming, dreamy guitars, ending with static. That sets up "Rest", on which Grohl repeats, "You can rest now." Such a statement seems like it's as much a mantra for himself as it is a directive to Hawkins and his mother. "Life is just a game of luck," he declares, "All this time escaping us, until our time is through." After the biggest explosion of guitar distortion on a major label radio rock record since "Hurt", Grohl ends the song, "In the warm Virginia sun, there I will meet you." That it's the name of the state in which he grew up and of his mother is not a coincidence, as he's using the memory of his mom, Hawkins--heck, even Kurt Cobain--for comfort.

With new drummer Josh Freese in tow, stay late and catch Foo Fighters performing songs from their best album since The Colour and the Shape.

SATURDAY

100 Gecs

100 Gecs, 7:00 PM, Radical Stage

When 100 Gecs released "mememe", the first single from what would be their long-awaited second album 10,000 Gecs (Dog Show/Atlantic), the first thing you noticed was that Laura Les' vocals were notably less pitch-shifted. A trans woman who had experienced voice dysphoria, Les was now taking voice lessons and deciding to reveal her voice unaffected. That, and her experience with gender transition surgeries and HRT treatments, informs some lines on songs on 10,000 Gecs. "I did science on my face," she sings on "Dumbest Girl Alive". "Everybody shuts the fuck up when I'm passing / You can see me on the fuckin' news, and I'm laughing," she sings presciently on "The Most Wanted Person in the United States", as a few days later, the notoriously anti-LGBTQ+ Fox News would go on to play 100 gecs on air due to anchor Greg Gutfield's fandom. This is the world in which 100 gecs thrive, appealing to all by feeling free to be themselves, refreshingly sans irony no matter how bonkers their juxtapositions. Ribbits nestle between guitar strums and harmonies on the ska-infused "Frog On The Floor". "One Million Dollars" creates a dance jam out of TikTok TTS voice, samples from anti-weed government propaganda, and Primus-level wiry breakdowns. "Hollywood Baby" and "Billy Knows Jamie" are respective tributes to pop punk and nu metal. And Les sings about everything from snack foods to her removed tooth like long lost loves. Even if they sound anything but, 100 gecs might just be the most earnest band around.

SUNDAY

Just Mustard, 1:15 PM, Riot Stage

You don't normally associate minimalism and ambiguity with bands playing Riot Fest, those with riffs and messages that hit you over the head and hooks and feelings sky-high. I bet Irish post-punk quintet Just Mustard wins over some festivalgoers looking for respite, whether from the sun or the distant cry of pop punk. Last year, they released their second album Heart Under (Partisan), and the first on which Katie Ball took full-time lead vocals. Their deliberate tempos and masterful control of dynamics should serve as hypnotic as it is beguiling.

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

I just had a sudden memory that many years ago I found this book from like the 60s or 70s that was based on the game Clue, and the premise of it was that it had turned out Mr. Boddy wasn't actually dead at all they just thought he was, he'd fainted from the shock of attempted murder being performed on him

The murderer (I don't remember who it was) apologized profusely and Mr. Boddy frankly forgave them and then I KID YOU NOT IT WAS LIKE SLICE-OF-LIFE SHENANIGANS WITH ALL OF THEM LIVING AT THE MANSION TOGETHER, JUST A BUNCH OF MINI VIGNETTES LIKE FREAKING WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES

I don't remember much about it but Mr. Boddy was the sweetest, kindest little man and he was very nervous and socially awkward, he had the most mishaps of any of them

The final story in the book was where they all tried to throw Mr. Boddy a surprise birthday party and he thought they were trying to kill him again and he fainted again

WTF WHAT WAS THIS BOOK I HAVE TO FIND IT IT'S RIDICULOUS

[kalims]

pop !

giving them a balloon with a confession in it and running away,

premise. out of confession ideas? sick of the pile of stupid papers crumpled up on the leg of your desk? or perhaps you're just in the 'you only live life once' mindset. since the school year is ending, why not get rid of the annoying feeling of him tingling your mind? (in the form of a balloon, you never said you were gonna stick around!)

characters. all sorted by dorm

content. mc runs away after giving it, based on a tiktok I stumbled across approximately a year ago... mentions of marriage (one sign and some were speeding through the future)

note. savanaclaws part hmmm yummy

heartslabyul

unsurprisingly, riddle gets a lot of bizarre things from students and professors alike. confessions are one thing but having one in this... circular, red, full of helium balloon is certainly a surprise. creative, he'll give them that. if anything he's just confused with it in his arms as you just sort of, shove it in his arms and run away. he recognizes you easily but once cater plucks it out of his grip and shows him the message he just turns red.

trey is the type of guy to accept whatever you give him, honestly. it doesn't matter if you give him the most random of items, he'll take it without a single word of query (unless it's really questionable.) you could hand him a bottle of mustard in class, trey'll just blink and hold onto it patiently. a pair of batteries? thanks he guesses. a red, inflated balloon? he spares you a questioning glance but you're already collecting dust with how fast you ran away so he turns it and resists a smile. clearly spotting the bold letters.

the opposite of clover, cater just doesn't take anything from you unless it piques his interest or is just a casual 'hold onto this for a few' like water or something. things bordering past unusual is what he'd hesitate to take, though less given he trusts you. sometimes he doesn't take it all together simply cause he doesn't feel like it. caters probably updated on everything so when you shove the balloon in his arms and beeline he's pulling out his phone ready to scream his ass off in his dump account. (also gotta magicam this, duh.)

will most likely just dump it on the ground without another thought. or hand it back to you. ace does not care about balloons, he might even pop it in your face. that is, if you stayed for more than a second. he feels more inclined to peer further cause you ran away so fast. you looked embarrassed, and he finds out quickly why you'd proceed to never show up to his face for the following week when he spots it. stares at it dumbly for like, a minute before taking off after you... be scared ig.

added to the top ten best moments of his life note on his phone. deuce silently highlights your name on it with the same angry, red bump on his forehead because he accidentally ran into a pole midst trying to find you around the campus. he had the same idea as ace (twins) which is finding you immediately except once he read the confession he promptly lost all his braincells in the process. so he's very excited, slash embarrassed, slash shy? and can't conjure any logic cause it's just your face.

savanaclaw

jokes on you. you think he's gonna make an effort to catch your stupid balloon? leona just watches it drop to the floor. the effort is only exerted when he's absolutely sure you've run away on your slow legs, he's not bashful—not at all. maybe that's just denial speaking though. he takes one look at the balloon, and pops it with a single dig of his nail. the stare is so brief that you'd doubt if he ever read it at all, when the evidence of your apparent love is now non-existent in the physical world, very much still lingering inside him. leona comes to the predicament that he can't seem to sleep days after.

ruggie is all too familiar with the lack of appreciation some folks hold towards cheaper material gifts. like a luxury jewel, a big, shiny lil' thing ultimately rotting in the closet of some soul cause its the 'price' that counts. he spots the words easily, discerning the black ink. not entirely formed with straight lines, the keen eyes of his spots the wriggles some hold. as though whoever wrote was nervous and he bores an impish grin. (and some back corner of his closet holds no big, pricey jewel, but the deflated balloon is worth all the more to him.)

more likely to leave it on accident. after falling victim to the annoying pranks his other first year 'friends' like to do, with him as the victim apparently. he's more suspicious of it than anything, jack does not want a face full of whipped cream once again. he stares at it like it's an alien and only goes for the initiative to take it into his hands when it rolls and showcases the very bold text, highlighted and straight to the point. jack inevitably ends up accidentally popping it due to the fear that some other person probably saw it, he did not mean to wreck it. atleast not with a messy chain of thoughts, but hey. atleast he got the message...

octavinelle

well versed in catching you in a gentle manner, if you ever slipped (he definitely did not practice.) so azul's reflexes respond quick enough to capture the red little thing with ease. he recognizes it as one of your antics, and he rarely doesn't humor them since it was harmless ones that don't really get under his skin, unlike that of the tweels... the curiosity of looking forward to whatever you had far outweighed any annoyance, and great sevens he might actually combust. ("JADE PREPARE THE LOUNGE—") <- absolutely ready to initiate the plans he had detailed through a script ages ago if this were to ever happen, with a red face. ha, ha.

either clueless, or already got an idea based entirely on the adorably stiff look on your face. jade easily puts two and two together, it's quite funny because he picks it up and doesn't spare a single look. stalking off to find you immediately, and only then does he take a peek as to whatever made the balloon special, right in front of you cause apparently he's gotta witness your raw embarrassment in the flesh?

floyd is likely not interested in the ball in the first place, he thinks you want to play catch so he runs after you with a laugh that... makes you a lot more concerned. he flings it uselessly to the face of some poor soul before he sprint after you, probably traumatizing them when they spot the 'I like you' on it, and when they realize they got it from the resident terrorist whose definition of 'I like you' is 'you're entertaining, I'm gonna keep on playing with you'. (only blinks when you tell him about it, seeing as he isn't close to releasing you anytime soon from his arms.) caught you!

scarabia

sparkles, around the sun... too bright... kalim's blinding everyone else with his obvious joy. almost immediately turns it and it's clear he saw something he really liked cause he has one of those grins, really wide, showing off his teeth and his face scrunches up to the point where you could barely spot the red irises of his eyes. his lips are wobbly too! and he thought the notion was simply too cute... (so much he just had to send it back, so you could feel what he felt too!) except it comes in a hundred times balloons inside your home.

really confused. is this supposed to be a new form of comfort in the era that he hasn't caught up with yet? jamil does nothing much to stop you from running away, yeah. that's your choice but it did strike an inkling of suspicion in him. with the way you aggressively shoved the balloon in his arms before you ran away makes him think it's contents are supposed to be for him only. seeing as you collected dust with that sprint, so he brings it home. and damn, thank god he did because seven forbid if anyone else actually saw the flicker of bashfullness in his expression, hopefully not his warming ears either.

pomefiore

you try to fool him by not rushing up to him, shoving it and then speeding away for once. but instead calmly placing it in his arms and then walking away like it might be the last time yall have a friendship haha (👀) vil sees right through you either way. dare I say he thinks the whole execution is strange, he means, you could literally just walk up to him and say the exact same thing written on the balloon and he would've loved it either way but eh, atleast you got it out!

don't walk into his room cause you will probably the very prominent place the balloon has in his room. rook surprisingly did not put it on a pedestal which is tame for his nature, but it does have a place in the corner of stuff he absolutely adores. you'd think you'd spared yourself from the embarrassment of seeing his reaction cause c'mon, that was a confession. it's nerve-wracking! but NO cause you spy him outside the window of your class and suffer a heart attack (3rd floor btw)

wherever he read that, epel's jaw drops. people would mistake him as someone who escaped from a mental asylum from the way he's gaping at a balloon like he just got told vil schoenheit got canceled on magicam for some controversy (he in fact, did not.) spends so much time staring at it, and the following where he's managed to snap out of it is spent also staring off into the distance *wedding bells ringing*

ignihyde

uuuuhhhhh... either send it to him digitally or shove it inside his room and dip?? if we're going with the latter, idia doesn't even notice until like, a day after cause he's been playing for. and it isn't even him who notices!! it's ortho!!! even if he did find it he would've ignored it, but behold, ortho, who reads the text in a hilariously flat tone. idia thought his brother was professing his love until the boy reveals it was from you. (nearly falls off the chair, then actually falls when he realizes it's been a day. imagine getting ghosted irl haha)

ortho could be the delivery boy if you're too embarrassed lmao. will help you in constructing a more poetic way with words but honestly the "YOU'RE CUTE LETS DATE" gets it done. boy probably doesn't understand why you don't wanna do it yourself, and records the entire thing, reaction of the person? forwarded to you until he leaves. but now you're suffering through wanting to watch, and not because you're too pussy to actually do it.

diasomnia

what... malleus is the equivalent of '???' like he's seen a few of these unique, forms but he never got the purpose of them. so he assumes it's like, some nice gift of human traditions question mark. so he appreciates it either way, he looks content honestly which is funny cause the terrifying wizard looks kinda silly holding that balloon like it's a child. actually you should've just gave him a blank balloon cause once he spots the confession, oh honey. are you fine with early marriage?

if you can't find lilia might as well yeet the balloon in the ceiling. chances are, he's there and he's gonna catch it. there's already a cheeky smile quirking up the ends of his lips, usually he'd have some sort of retaliation on the personal attack you inflicted on his heart but oh dear, it's strangely blank. he's humming, the round thing upside down as he rubs his chin in contemplation. everyone's just scared at the echoing giggles of the already dark hallway.

an attack? AN ATTACK! unlike lilia who knows how to use the figurative words youth joke about all the time, sebek is... hilariously serious about most things, if not so much that it strikes just a teeny tiny concern in your mind. honestly you didn't take much into account, not the fact that he might consider it as an assault or something because you're already speeding away. apparently not having gotten too far cause he catches up easily and holds you up by the back of your collar like a cat. (you'd most likely have to mention the words cause all he registered was the apparent attack, when he does check he goes redder in the face and accidentally drops you. nows your chance to run!!)

*angelic voice singing* silver, my boo boo, I mean what...? felt something soft being squeezed into his arms, he knew it was you but assumed it was a pillow so he just?? used it as a pillow?? under his head now?? most folks would be confused at the sight of the sleepy guy laying on a balloon cause, one, it might pop and startle everyone in vicinity, two, there's words scribbled on it. although cut off since his head is blocking the way, but the 'LIKE YOU' is really obvious. so he wakes up, glances at it and goes back to sleep, except he couldn't cause the balloon actually popped comically the same time he absorbed it in.

[foiblepnoteworthy]

Me: wow it's fun writing sth serious again it's been a minute

Also me: what if a throw in that funny bit where Gardulla eats a load of babies

[dteamain]

idk i think that's pretty normal 😭 it's like dipping veggies in a regular dip. i can't judge cos i love dipping my fries in vanilla ice cream, specifically mcdonalds fries in their plain sundae

it is like a dip! lots of people don't know but mustard is actually really good for you and due to health issues my doctor was telling me to eat more mustard and i had a parent at the old daycare i worked at tell me she uses mustard as a alternative to dip veggies since most dips aren't that good for you and now i'm addicted

most people think it's the weirdest thing lmao but it's more common than they think