#screaming im gonna kill myself in your face then murdering literally everyone

[worlds-largest-juice-container]

imagine in the last panel the theme is just blaring

[fanfic-me-up]

okay so i kinda got carried away with this one??? i just really love this idea and how freaking fluffy it is! so thank you for submitting it @peachy-yabbay​! 😊 also lowkey im sorta falling in love with kaminari?? like he’s so fun to write and i had a smile the entire time. anyway i rlly hope you enjoy!

Feel free to request more here. I write fics, drabbles, and headcanons 💖

Also, I have a yoga fic already posted with bakugou x fem!reader so if this doesn’t satisfy your need of bakugou being a flexible pretzel and failing you can read more here 😂

Bakugou Katsuki

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

like Bakugou prides himself on going to the gym everyday, but he focuses on strength training and muscle building

the art of flexibility takes time, effort, and perseverance

he gets super frustrated when he can't get the splits in 2.5 seconds

“Careful or you might pull something.”

he ignores you ofc bc for some reason he thinks he’s gonna get the splits if he just - forces himself???

“seriously, Bakugou, don’t push so much-”

“Shut up I know what I’m - OW SHIT FUCKING HELL”

poor bby is on the ground cradling his thigh bc he pulled his hamstring

And lemme tell you THAT SHIT HURTS 😭

he’s literally screaming bloody murder

-like he’s faced a lot of pain from hero training but pulling your hamstring is just so. much. worse???

you grab an icyhot pack (aka you grab Todoroki lol) but Bakugou’s just like “hell no fuck off half n half”

“Must be bad. I heard you crying from downstairs-”

“I SAID FUCK OFF” Todoroki shrugs and leaves.

you roll your eyes at Bakugou’s stubbornness and grab some muscle balm instead

“Tch. I can do it myself” but you ignore him and rub the balm on his thigh, he doesn’t fight it

after that whole fiasco he finally listens to your warnings when you tell him that's enough

he’s in the splits in a little over a month!

“Oh my god, Bakugou, you’re doing it!”

“Tch. I know.”

you don’t miss the small smile on his face

he goes up to you later and shoves something in your hands

“Um. What’s this?”

“A movie ticket” you stare at it blankly, he rolls his eyes

“I’m taking you to the movies tonight, dumbass.”

“Like a date?” you stare up with hopeful eyes

“The fuck? No! As payment.”

you blink, clearly confused

“You know… for helping me with my stretches.”

Oh.

you blush in embarrassment at the misunderstanding

“I’ll meet you out front at 7. Don’t be late.” he walks off, but before he reaches the corner he stops-

“Ugh fine! It’s a date! Happy!?”

you erupt in the biggest smile

he wants to be the only one to make you smile like that from now on

Todoroki Shouto

Todoroki is impressed with how flexible you are, and you’re quite surprised when he asks you to help him

the most aloof - and handsome - guy in your class you’ve barely spoken TWO words to has come to you for help??? is this a dream? someone pinch you 👀

but there you are, the next day in his dorm, gently pushing his hips down

Todoroki’s working on his warrior/scorpion pose (ya’ll there's so many names for this pose jfc the one where you’re standing on one leg, back arched, and you’re holding the other leg above your head)

he’s sweating and breathing heavily, and when you go to steady him, you actually burn your hand on his bicep.

“Ouch!”

“Are you okay?”

he’s hovering over you the next second, you show him your hand, a blister already forming

“Damn it. I still have trouble controlling my left side,” he looks away from you, clenching his fists, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you blow cool air on the wound to stop the tingling, “all better,” you smile up at him

“Here, let me,” he pulls his shirt up to reveal his stomach and places your hand on the right side. You sigh in relief as your hand is instantly cooled.

Uh oh.

you realize where your hand is currently pressed against 😳

you’re so tempted to trace along the hard contours of his abs

“Y/N? You’re burning up.” he touches your cheek, your heart doing somersaults at the closeness

“Oh-kay, that’s enough for today!” you squeak, running away from a thoroughly confused Todoroki

Todoroki shows excellent progress in just a couple weeks. He says it’s because he has a great teacher, but you know it's his work ethic and how he listens to your advice and applies it flawlessly.

He’s even gotten better at controlling his left side since he’s constantly relaxing his muscles to get deeper in the stretch.

it happens during warm-ups before training

Class 1-A goes into some stretches when you see Todoroki go into a perfect scorpion. His back perfectly arched and his leg reaching above his head.

“Oh my god, Todoroki, you’re doing it!” you clap your hands in excitement

“Am I?”

...is this boy for real? lol

“YES” you laugh at his stoic expression

“I see.” He softly comments before going into another stretch.

your shoulders deflate, disappointed at the lack of enthusiasm

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he cracks a small smile and your breath is taken away by the simple gesture. It’s rare to see him with such a soft expression, and the fact that you’re the reason for it sends your heart aflutter.

AND bc he’s totally oblivious to your current state, he goes up to you and whispers, “you’re an amazing teacher, Y/N”

“It was n-nothing re-really it was a-all you!” you laugh awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes.

“How can I thank you?”

“It-it’s really n-not necessary!”

“Hmm…” he walks away deep in thought and you’re just standing there like the stuttering mess you are bc how dare he walk away like nothing!?

Mina’s got your back tho bc frankly it's quite sad how awkward you are and how oblivious Todoroki is that she NEEDS to become the captain of this ship stat

She “casually” suggests to Todoroki that he should take you out to eat as a thank you for helping him.

and when he walks you to your door that night he says, “I hope you enjoyed our date”

“D-date?” cue the butterflies in your stomach

“Was it not a date?” You’re pinned by his intense gaze, but you manage to squeak out a “yes!” in your confused daze. He chuckles at your nervousness

“Have a good night, Y/N.” he kisses your cheek

and when you give Mina the details of your date there’s a bunch of squealing from her end and you’re just like 😳 the entire night

Kaminari Denki

“Woah, Y/N, you’re really flexible. Can you put your foot over your head?”

You show him and he’s totally amazed. “Cool! Can you teach me? I wanna put BOTH legs over my head!”

first day of stretching with Kaminari is… def a day you remember

“Ow ow! Y/N, don’t break me!”

“Denki, I’m not even touching you!”

He looks up where your hands are on your hips

“oh... heh” he gives you a sheepish smile

You roll your eyes. How you’re gonna get this boy flexible enough to put his foot over his head is beyond you, but you’re happy it’s going to take a while - it means more time spent with your crush

You spend an hour with Kaminari each day to perfect his stretching routine (It should only take about 20 minutes, but the boy’s got the attention span of a newborn puppy)

“Woah check out that cloud, Y/N.” Kaminari looks in awe at the sky. You sigh, not again

“Denki, we’re not done, get back in the stretch”

“Look Y/N,” he points, “doesn’t it look exactly like baby yoda?” He lies down on the grass to gaze at the clouds

“Oh my god, Denki, I’m gonna kill - oh wow…” you gaze up in awe at the cloud, “baby yoda…”

You and Kaminari spend the rest of the hour cloud gazing

After literal MONTHS of getting on Kaminari’s ass he can FINALLY put his legs over his head.

He calls out to you during a training exercise, “Y/N LOOK I DID IT!”

“NOT ONE BUT TWO!” he points at both of his legs with a huge smile

You feel a rush of happiness because even after how frustrated you were with him at times, you would do it a million times over if it meant getting to see such a pure smile.

“Congrats!” you say, “Now, stand up so I can give you a hug!”

“Um…” he sheepishly looks up at you, “I’m kinda... stuck?”

You roll your eyes affectionately, “the things I do for you.”

You’re about to help Kaminari when Bakugou shoves him backwards giving everyone in class a clear view of his ass in the air 😂

“Hah, dumbass.”

Kaminari waddles helplessly side to side

“Y/N?” he squeaks, “a little help here?”

Later that week he tells you he found a yoga class for both of you to take and you’re surprised. He still wants to spend time with you?

But then he says, “Are you crazy? Why wouldn’t I wanna spend time with the coolest person I know?”

You choke on your tea, in disbelief at his words - that was a huge compliment and you know Kaminari is a very open person so you just brush it off with an “Oh stop it…”

“No I’m serious, Y/N, you’re awesome. Like super awesome,” he gives an awkward laugh while rubbing the back of his neck

“I’ve been thinking… maybe after yoga, we can, i don't know... hit up the arcade or something? Or it doesn’t have to be the arcade, it could be anything really!”

You’ve never seen Kaminari this flustered before. He’s the type to brush off his mistakes with a laugh, always moving on to the next moment.

“No, the arcade sounds fun!”  

You reassure him and the confident light in his eyes returns

“Oh and Denki?”

“Yeah?”

“Prepare to get rekt in mario kart”

This starts a whole ass play fight about who’s gonna get dunked on when racing down rainbow road

[dekuscrybaby]

Could I request a super shy reader asking out Bakugou ? Scenario or hcs ! Whichever you like ! She’s like super nervous and just ends up going on a rant on why she likes him and asks him out and he just blushes and says yes . I hope that’s not too specific or something >.

y’all be giving me too much freedom, like tell me to choose one format over another and you will end up getting both because that’s just the type of clown that i am! also, i’ll kinda be loosely basing this on me because i’m pretty shy myself, but i’ll keep it as general as possible! also pls my friend, i have none so feel free to privately message me or we can chat through asks i don’t mind 😌 also, i think i went a little overboard with the “scenario” but i’m not all that sorry bc i love my feral bby but also the scenario is kinda booty so sorry about that

(ps this is literally bakugou as you confess/rant to him)

out of the billions of people you could’ve had a crush on, your heart probably chose the worst person

bakugou katsuki, a very angry gremlin if you please

and i’m not saying that bakugou is ugly or anything

it’s the complete opposite actually, hence why you have a crush on him

bakugou’s physical appearance is far from ugly, he’s hands-down one of prettiest boys in your class

that being said, his personality can be considered an acquired taste

as kaminari once said his personality is comparable to “flaming hot garbage”

but that didn’t stop you from liking blasty boy

your friends know about your crush bc it’s just obvious to them and pretty much everyone else (except bakugou)

you’re always asked “what is there to like about bakugou?”

well, what isn’t there to like?

his ash-blonde hair always looks so soft, you just want to run your fingers through it

his eyes are just so beautiful and you want nothing more than to stare into those ruby orbs for hours and hours

his physique is just so amazing and let’s not get you started on how bad you want his muscular arms to wrap around you

and his thighs? phew, please! is it getting hot in here or what?

answer: it is getting hot and by that i mean your face has lit up all shades of red

confessing to crushes is usually hard regardless of how confident a person is but it’s even harder for you because you’re the shyest person in class a

you’re so shy that you’re just known for your blushy cheeks which turn even redder when you’re in the presence of lord explosion murder

you probably even struggle to get a full sentence in when you’re “talking” to him

you guys know how izuku stutters right? well you’re worse than that

you just have the FATTEST crush on this blonde douchebag

so what do your friends do about this crush?

they do what all friends do for their introverted friends with a huge crush on a huge ass extrovert

put you on the spot

*insert your shy ass mentally screeching*

to be fair, you’ve been crushing on bakugou since like the beginning of the school year

something has to happen before your entire class just decides to scream at bakugou about your very clear crush on him

for the sake of a chaotic confession, i’m gonna say that you’re apart of the bakusquad with mina being your best friend

and mina being mina, she’s SICK of your shit and wants you to tell katsuki how you feel

so what does she do?

she shoves you into the janitor’s closet with bakugou

will not let you out until you spill everything

“hey! raccoon eyes! you better let us out before i fucking explode your ass!” bakugou growled as he pounded on the metal door, obviously he was caught off guard. he was just walking back to class with you and your guys’ friends before mina’s crazy-ass pulled you back and shoved you into a small room.

“not until y/n fesses up!” mina shouted back, pulling on the door handle with all her might. she’s doing this for you, it’ll only help you and bakugou, it’s a mantra mina keeps going over in her head. hopefully, a mantra that will prevent her from being killed by the furious blonde.

“what the hell do you mean fesses up?” the blonde bellows out, still pounding at the door.

as they’re screaming and cursing at each other, you have your face hidden away in the sleeves of your school jacket. your face is the reddest it’s ever been and your mind has never spilled this many thoughts until now. your brain is so overwhelmed that there is practically no filter between your brain and your mouth so at this point you’re babbling on endlessly.

it’s not very loud, probably only loud enough for it to be heard in the small room you’re currently in, but that’s where the problem lies.you’re babbling on and on about your huge crush while he is in the same cramped up room as you are. to make matters worse, you guys are completely alone.

“what do i do now? i’m completely alone with the hottest guy in not just the class but probably even school. is mina really not gonna let us out until i tell him i like him? i mean she can’t keep us in here for too long, right? of course not! class is bound to start soon and she has to go to class. plus she has to let us out before mr. aizawa comes to look for us or something. then again, me confessing can’t go that bad. i mean what’s the worst that can happen? well, if i do end up confessing, then there’s a high chance that bakugou might not even like me back and then everything will be super awkward. he prob-”

you probably would’ve continued to rant on if it weren’t for bakugou’s rough voice pulling you out of your verbal thoughts, “what the hell are you going on about?”

you snapped your head up in the direction of your voice, “huh?”

“you heard me, rosy-cheeks. what are you going on about?” he questioned with a quirked eyebrow.

“r-r-rosy-cheeks?” the new nickname just made even more blood rush onto your already blushed cheeks.

bakugou rolled his eyes a bit, “yes, rosy-cheeks. your cheeks are always red so it suits you.”

“oh! uh, thanks i guess?” you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, not knowing how to respond to the slight compliment you received from your crush.

a quiet snicker could be heard from the opposite side of the door and that ended up provoking bakugou’s short temper.

“fucking let us out, you used tampon!” he began to yell again. (i couldn’t think of any other nicknames)

“i said i wasn’t letting you out until ms. rosy-cheeks confesses!” mina retorts, matching the level of intensity of katsuki’s voice.

“huh? and what should she be confessing?”

“i don’t know, bakugou, maybe you should ask her instead!” now it was bakugou’s turn to snap his head towards you.

“spill, y/l/n.” he said, his voice much softer than it was a few seconds ago.

“w-what?” you stuttered.

“the faster you tell me whatever mina wants you to tell me, the faster we can get out of here,” he grumbled as you began twiddling with your fingers.

“i-i can’t.”

bakugou sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “what do you mean you can’t?”

“i just can’t, bakugou.” you whimpered quietly.

“y/n, class is going to start again in less than ten minutes and i don’t know about you, but i don’t want to be held up after class by aizawa.”

“i’d rather be held up later than tell you,” you wrapped your arms around yourself, fearing that you’d make him upset.

“goddamnit, y/n! just tell me! it can’t be that hard!” he raises his voice and ultimately, this causes something in you to snap.

“okay, okay! i like you, okay? i’ve liked you for so long that it’s actually embarrassing. it’s just that you’re so cute and something about you just has my heart beating out of my chest. i always feel short of breath and lightheaded when i’m around you and i can’t do anything about it. you’re also so so smart and im actually jealous.” you drew in a quick breath before continuing.

“sure, you might not have the best personality ever according to others but i still find your ‘garbage-like’ personality drawing me into you. do you know how many times people come up to me asking why the hell i like you? it’s quite a shocker for them to hear that i basically like everything about you.”

“i like your spiky blonde hair that is probably super soft. i like your eyes that are the most beautiful shade of red and i always find myself lost in them whenever i look into them for even the briefest moments. i like how passionate you are about your goals and i like how you give your all to reach them. you’re just so amazing and i always find myself wanting to confess to you, hoping that you might feel the same way. i would just absolutely love to call you my boyfriend, you know?”

you finally concluded your rant after what felt like an eternity and for some reason, you forgot about the situation at hand. once you realized that you actually said everything out loud, you felt your entire body heat up. this has to be a dream. or maybe someone used their quirk and caused you to say all of that. not missing a single beat, you glanced up at bakugou, only to find him the same position as you. cheeks and even ears, a bright red that could easily rival midoriya’s sneakers.

“i-i-i, uhh…”

“tch,” bakugou interrupted what could’ve started another rant. “you could’ve just said so earlier.”

“what?” you stared at him with a gaped expression as his cheeks heated up even more,

“i’m just saying, you would’ve said this earlier…then maybe i would’ve been your boyfriend already,” bakugou mumbled as one of his sweaty palms, cradled the back of his neck.

“a-are you serious?”

“do i look like a liar to you, rosy-cheeks?”

“well, uh, no?”

“damn right. now let’s get to class, i’m pretty sure raccoon eyes heard the entirety of your rant and if she reacted anything like me, then she should be satisfied.”

you were still too shocked to properly digest what just happened that you for some reason didn’t feel bakugou take your hand to lead you out of the janitor’s closet. after you walked out with him, you turned your head and noticed mina grinning at you, congratulating you on what was your new relationship with the boy you’ve been pining over for ages.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.

Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.

----

Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.

anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that

everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic

everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time

this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash

"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""

"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"

aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh

"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"

"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"

mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk

all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"

and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds

pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn

aizawa  helps him up off the floor

"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"

mic "youre amazing"

aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering

aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments

consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 

this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course

so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement

"he might actually do it!"

"who might do what"

allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa

"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"

and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot

hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"

he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"

like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"

allmight just nods sagely

"young midoriya be like that sometimes"

pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child

for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s

also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy

aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room

"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"

and like everyone is so lost no one questions it

bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him

please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly

monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line

during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"

and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box

all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet

"im quirkless you nonce"

"oh,,,"

"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"

"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"

"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"

"wait what"

izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa

you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"

"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"

mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"

there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”

please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"

aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"

he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it

soup cryptid

please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is

“haha he’s just being friendlyL

“aizawa i literally want to marry u”

“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”

in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly

and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks

also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong

izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk

stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"

",,, where are your parents"

"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"

izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes

tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her

bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train

and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like

"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"

everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk

hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"

they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there

aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."

“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”

“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”

“my boy,,,,,l

"what, ochako lives alone!"

"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"

aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now

allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"

"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  

mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing

afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O

for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother

consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that

if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things

tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel

inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables

just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots

the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch

izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"

hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"

izuku just looks stary eyed

"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"

"deku wtf"

"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"

“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”

"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"

mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that

so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him

1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously

and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet

aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale

okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it

,,,,,c

cook?

izuku just has a totally blank face

"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"

"raw."

"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”

"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"

"it wont kill me though"

"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."

“but vegetable??? good????”

"kid do you even fucking like any of this"

"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"

yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying

aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”

izuku: *surprized pikachu face*

please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"

oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice

also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"

bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"

aizawa "WAIT WHAT"

whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔

izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"

and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"

",,,"

"thats what you taught us sensei!"

"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"

"and?"

"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"

"i can put some back if you want?"

"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"

[murdertrialimagines]

Fall Ball (Kokichi x Reader)

“Hello~ I was wondering if I could request a School AU type were; Y/N and Kokichi are very good friends. And their school is hosting a dance. Kokichi really likes Y/N and wants to take them, but he could never admit it. So Kokichi asks for help from his other friends on how to ask his crush out and jajskakajs. I can just imagine it being so funny and cute. I know you will do great and I hope this is a good request. (Im always soft for the supreme leader)”

This is such a cute request! I am honestly not in tune with Kokichi’s personality, so I’m sorry if it’s a bit OOC! ^-^ Story under the tag~

Kokichi was a bizarre character, to say the least. He pranked, insulted, and drove everyone he knew to the brink of insanity/annoyance

Why people still hung out with him? Everyone who really knew him knows deep down he’d never really hurt them, even if he said things that took it too far sometimes. If he did, he’s always try to make up for it in his own kiddish way

His friends needed to be people who wouldn’t burst from annoyance easily, and that’s where you came in. You indulged him, letting him pull pranks and annoy you while making sure he didn’t take it too far and possibly kill someone (you swear, Korekiyo would’ve caught fire that one time). 

He would never admit it, but he was grateful. After all, the funnest pranks take two minds!

Your latest scheme had been the classic water bucket prank on Shuichi. he was located on the side of Hopes Peak Academy, conveniently placed right under a window two stories up. He was with Kaede, both of them laughing and chatting like the old friends they were

“So, uh...Kaede? The fall formal is coming up, and I, well I was wondering if you’d like to go with m-”

His heartfelt speech was abruptly cut off, the sound of splashing water was all that was heard as he was soaked head to toe from above

Both he and Kaede looked up to see two snickering children leaning from a window, one of them holding a bucket

Y/n leaned back into the classroom they were hiding in, setting the bucket down on the floor next to her 

“Aw, Kokichi, I love that prank! I can’t believe we’ve done it to Shuichi eight times this week!”

“Yep, and tonight we will make it nine!”

“I do feel kinda bad, though. I know how badly Shuichi wants to take Kaede to the dance next week. Like she’s gonna say no though, right?”

This was the exact topic Kokichi had been trying to avoid yet bring up at the same time. Everyone knows Kokichi has feelings, but he doesn’t allow himself to feel the ones that make him feel bad. He doesn’t like to feel guilt, stress, or negative emotions in general. 

“Kokichi? You alive?” A hand was waving in front of his face, he must have zoned out

“Of course! I’m just thinking of something we could do to Kaito when he asks Maki to the dance.” He fiddled with one of the latches on his shirt. “Are you going to the dance Y/n? It’s gonna be mega lame, but Himiko is performing so everyone is trying to go.”

Y/n let out a laugh, punching him in the shoulder. “I’d only go if someone asked me, but I doubt that’ll happen. The only action I’d be getting is from the snack bar”

Kokichi listened as she laughed. He hated to admit it, but he was feeling things that for once he couldn’t repress. He liked Y/n, not just as a best friend, and it was driving him insane! Call it cliche but he really wanted to ask her out to the dance, show her off and have a great time, just the two of them

Kokichi resisted the urge to slam his head into the wall when Y/n grabbed his hand. “Let’s go, Shuichi is bound to be running up here now to kill us!”

After sprinting through the school and evading Shuichi (and getting split up) Kokichi decided to head home, shooting Y/n a quick text to tell her where he was going. 

Where he really went, however, was his DICE headquarters, walking in to see all of his members lounging around or playing cards

“Kokichi! Why are you here? Are we setting plan ACES into movement?”

“No, that’s not till next Tuesday. I actually need...advice”

Everyone seemed more interested at this statement. He never needed help!”

“What do you need?”

Kokichi walked over and sat on the card table, a few played cards fluttering to the floor

“Well, today we- Y/n and I- pulled that prank on Shuichi again, right? And then we started talking about the dance next week, and it made me think of going with Y/n, and-” 

He felt a hand over his mouth, and cringed at the sudden squealing in the air

“Omigod you wanna go with Y/n! That’s amazing! When are you gonna ask her?!”

Kokichi shoved the hand off of his mouth. “I’m not asking her! I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have.” “Well,” one of his members walked around him, putting their hands on his shoulders “Something tells me she likes you too~” “W-what?!”

Kokichi stood up and paced around for a moment, asking his friends how they knew 

“You two already act like a really childish married couple! It’s obvious whatever you feel for her is returned in full.”

Kokichi thought about this for a second, before responding, “Okay, how do I ask her? Nothing sappy or anything!”

His friends grinned, already laying out blueprints for their plan

Kokichi came to school the next day and began ignoring Y/n, as it was part of their plan

“Okay, so first ignore her, then set the glitter bombs to explode at four, and when the teachers are distracted, find Y/n and have Himiko do the magic trick and finally ask her to the dance! Perfect!”

It was not perfect.

It was incredibly hard to hide from Y/n, as she was looking for him all day. On top of that, one of the glitter bombs (which had been safely kept with Kaito) exploded in said student’s backpack, covering everyone in the room with glitter. One of those people was Himiko, who had to go home to wash it off, and in return, Tenko attacked Kaito for ‘hurting’ her. 

Kokichi had caused the chaos he originally planned, but not the way he wanted. Students and teachers alike were running around the hall, teachers trying to get kids to the nurses office for glitters in their eyes and students taking this opportunity to leave boring classes

The purple haired kid stood in the corner of some lockers and a classroom, staring at his phone. He had tried to video call Kaito, only receiving a view of Kaito screaming and sprinting, the crazed yells of Tenko behind him, before it finally disconnected. He texted Kaito as well, but none of his messages were being read.

Sighing, Kokichi slipped his phone into one of the many pockets in his jacket before turning around, watching all of the kids and students crowd the halls. Someone rammed into his shoulder, causing him to hit the wall

“Hey, watch it!” Kokichi turned around to glare down the careless student, only to be shoved into the wall again

“Why have you been ignoring me all day? I know you see me!”

The girl in front of him was not a careless kid, but his best friend, Y/n.

“Oh, Y/n! Come here often?” Kokichi put on his best suave smile and leaned against the wall

Y/n punched him in the shoulder. “I don’t appreciate your jokes right now, Shuichi. I want to know whats going on! Why have you been ignoring me? Why are bombs going off? Why is Tenko about to get a murder charge?!” “Why not?” She let out a huff and at Kokichi, folding her arms

“Kokichi, I want to know what’s going on. Now. This is insane, even for you!” 

Kokichi looked down at the girl, a million thoughts running through his head. Before he could clear his thoughts, he heard his own voice ring out

“It was for you.”

Y/n looked taken back, as her expression shifted from anger and annoyance to surprise. “What? You better explain yourself.”

“It was for you,” Kokichi let everything out, watching the girl’s every shift in expression. “I wanted to ask you to the dance, but you know I don’t do those things! I asked for help, even though I never ask for help, so you should feel honored! Of course I asked the most incompetent people, against my better judgement, so everything went wrong. The plan didn’t work, I didn’t get to ask you out, and now I’m...finally defeated. So rub it in my face, before I go and find Kaito myself.” 

Kokichi looked down at the floor waiting for Y/n to smack him upside the head and call him an idiot. But when he felt no impact, and heard stifled laughter, he became confused. He looked up to see Y/n trying to hold in fits of giggles, grinning from ear to ear

After the girl finally composed herself she looked at the purple haired boy, tears brimming her smiling eyes. “Kokichi, you are such an idiot.” There it is.

He felt Y/n put her hand on his arm gently, and now it was his turn to be confused. “Dude, you didn’t have to do all of this. Everyone knows I like you, and to be honest I thought you knew too! I just knew that you didn’t...feel...like people usually do, so I tried to get over it.”

They stood in a sincere silence, well, as silent as you can be in a crowded and loud hallway.

But to them, it felt like their own little world, just the two of them and a now slightly awkward silence as they stared at each other

Kokichi was the first to break the silence, letting out an awkward cough and casting his gaze at the ground. “So, are you going to be a jerk and make it?”

Y/n let out a small laugh, smirking at him. “Oh, definitely.”

“Ugh, okay, here goes...Y/n, will you do me the dishonor of going to the fall ball with me?”

“I would love to, dork” 

________________________________________________________________

I literally have not written in like two months and I am so sorry

[wheelthefridge]

in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it. 

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing 

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2"  dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion  dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio  katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles 

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her 

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener 

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries 

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids  kerry: pizza bj: vodka 

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good. 

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it 

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that. 

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now  sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again 

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over  me: it’s barely started  sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob  didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker  katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off 

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money. 

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.  

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying 

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy.  bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that. 

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well. 

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks 

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good. 

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really. 

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice 

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda. 

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm.  bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow. 

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands  bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters. 

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey! 

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you  didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here 

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix. 

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up 

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor. 

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy. 

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets 

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers. 

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good. 

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away 

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun. 

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!!  laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble. 

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know 

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks. 

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one. 

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home. 

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice. 

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe. 

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one. 

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it. 

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine. 

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey  me: what for  danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty  sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

[mrpenguinpants]

Dabi x Hawks Roommate/Marriage AU

I just went through a really stressful uni application process. I’ve got 2 essays due tomorrow. But I’m here. Again. I feel like I make these too long but whatever. Anyways

Oh yeah btw, I’m totally down to write shit. So just send me a request. It doesn’t have to be dabihawks (I’m literally only writing dabihawks cause I'm obsessed) or hero academia. (I’m really just lonely so) Also does not have to be headcanons, idm writing actual fics. Headcanons are just easier for me. 

This is also not connected with the tattoo artist dabi x dancer hawks, this is just self-indulgent stuff

Hawks and Dabi moved in together when Dabi saw an ad on his college board for a roommate

“So I’m broke af and really lonely so I’m looking for a roommate. Contact me with the info below. It’s okay if you’re a murderer. College is kicking my ass and I’ll gladly accept death.” 

Dabi calls him that day 

“I’m not a murderer but I can probably get us both killed in a week” 

He meets with Hawks after school as they walk back to his apartment 

“Basically, just don’t do anything that lands me in deeper debt. Pay for rent and whatever else you need, and don’t be a dick. Either than that, I’m sure when we actually start living together we can make some ground rules” 

Dabi is a tiny bit concerned “You serious? Not that I’m not accepting but shouldn’t you be a bit more concerned with who you let in your home?” 

“Please, I don’t have anything worth stealing, I’m broke, and I’m ready to die at any given moment. Unless you start shitting on the floor I don’t think we’ll have a problem. Is there something I should be concerned about?” 

Dabi moves in the next week 

If there was anything Dabi should have been concerned about, its Hawks

Hawks literally has no  s h a m e

Dabi lived with his siblings before moving out when he graduated from high school. He has some level of decency 

Hawks, however, has been an only child with neglectful parents

Not that Dabi minds too much, anyone is better than his father, but it’s only been a week and Dabi has seen Hawks butt-ass naked 4 times. Not that he minds

But there is only so much his homosexual heart can take 

So Dabi sits him down one night over take-out (none of them know how to cook. The only time they do is when Hawks friend Rumi comes over or when Dabi’s sister sends him food) 

“Dude, I know we just met and just started living together and it’s great. But you need to put your dick away when I’m here” 

“Is it distracting?” 

“Yeah. It is. I don’t know what kinda things you’re into but I don’t walk around with my fucking dick in the air” 

“I’m gonna be real with you right now. I really just want to get laid...by you...like right now”

what is shame amirite? 

They just stare at each other for the longest time before Dabi shrugs 

“Sure” 

After that, they got a lot more comfortable with each other (because I can’t be bothered to do slow burns (pun intended)) 

(Gonna be real with you, this part is just me throwing ideas out) 

One day, Hawks comes home stressed out and looking like death itself before throwing himself on the couch next to Dabi and laying his head on his legs

Dabi just looks at him “Rough day at work?” 

Hawks just explodes at that “THIS FUCKING CUNT OH MY GOD. SHE WAS GIVING ME SO MUCH SHIT ABOU-”

Dabi nod along as Hawks yells his feelings 

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just want to sleep for a century” 

Hawks looks at him with the biggest puppy eyes Dabi has ever seen 

“You wanna get shit-faced drunk even though it’s a Tuesday?”

“PLEASE” 

During their first days of living with each other, Hawks and Dabi decide to eat dinner together. You know, talk and get to know the other

Since they both don’t know how to cook they just order takeout 

It’s really awkward 

“So, how was your day?”

“Uh, it was...goood” 

“Cool. Cool”

God kill me 

Dabi reflects on his life when he was still living with his siblings and what they talked about at the table. About 99.9% of it was them shit talking on their dad 

“So, you know that security lady. The one that hangs around the cafeteria?” 

“Yeah? What about her?”

“She’s a bitch, isn’t she?”

“OH MY GOD LET ME TELL YOU THIS ONE TIME-”

Yeah. Dabi’s got this. Turns out Hawks loves to shit talk and rant about people

He calls his sister and mom later that day to thank them 

They think he’s high but whatever works 

Dabi’s family comes to visit him over the break. Hawks is freaking the fuck out cause what if they don’t like him and make Dabi move out? How is he gonna survive on this own? What if they are really scary and murder him? (not that he is opposed to that but he rather die later and with Dabi)

Dabi isn’t that concerned. It’s only his sister and mother coming to visit and they are just coming to make sure he’s still alive 

“Hawks. You need to calm down. Trust me, they’re cool”

“BUT WHAT IF THEY DON’T LIKE ME. WHAT IF THEY DON’T GIVE ME THEIR BLESSING????”

“Hawks, we’re not dating nor are we getting married”

“Dude, we ride together we die together-”

“I don’t think that saying works here”

“-We’re practically soul mates at this point”

“...shit you’re right”

Dabi introduces Hawks as his boyfriend to his family

His family is proud of him even though they are 110% sure Dabi blackmailed or paid him 

It happens after they graduate college. They decided to stay together in the same shitty apartment 

They were sitting together on the couch watching Disney movies (Hawks request) 

Hawks is leaning on Dabi as Dabi is bored out of his mind

“Dabi?”

“Yeah?”

“We’ve been together for like 4ish years now right?”

“Yeah”

“And if I were to die what would you do?”

“Probably kill everyone, burn the world to the ground and then kill myself”

“I love you-you know that?”

“I do” 

Insertawkwardpausehere

“-So I was wondering if you wanted to get married or..something” 

“Yeah sure” 

They both pause. Look at each other. Before screaming 

“Wait really?!”  they both yell at the same time. Hawks is literally in tears rn

“I-I don’t really have a ring, I mean I can go into the kitchen right now and get some tin foil bu-”

“Woah Woah wait Hawks. You wanna get married??”

“BITCH IF YOU GO BACK ON THIS RIGHT NOW IM KICKING YOU OUT” 

“FUCK YEAH I WANNA GET MARRIED”

“GOOD”

“GREAT”

“FANTASTIC”

“AMAZING” 

They calm down after an hour 

“Are you sure though Hawks? It means you’re gonna have to be with my crusty ass”

“Dabi, I’ve seen your dick. It’s not crusty” 

“I think that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me”

“I literally proposed to you”

“And I accepted” 

Dabi calls his family to tell them the good news and Hawks calls Rumi. It was 4am so obv they didn’t pick up so they left a voice message

“Sup fuckers, I got married to my bird boyfriend. Tell our homophobic father he ain’t invited to my wedding”

“RUMI!!! I JUST PROPOSED AND HE SAID YES! WHAT DO I DO! AM I DYING? I THINK I’M DYING” 

Just letting you know, I’m totally continuing this in the future. I WILL MAKE MY BOYS HAPPY 

[bangchanshehe]

Andromeda pt.5

You were no one, a goody-two-shoes who always played by the rules. When you decided to change yourself and live a little more dangerously you got caught up in Taemin’s trap. He had no use for you and no desire to have you. You were a toy and a time killer. But, he just so happened to have a lot of time and you happened to be his new favorite play thing.

You sat down on the couch and tried to gather all of your wits before you tried to carry on any other type of conversation.

What did this all mean? And why were you so willing to believe it? Taemin and Minho hadn’t exhibited any signs to make you think that they were anything other than human so why did you believe it when he said that he was a vampire?

You looked over at Minho who sat at the opposite end of the couch looking absolutely defeated and guilty. Taemin stood above the two of you from across the couch giving Minho a look like he was the dirtiest thing that he had come across. It looks could kill you imagined that this would be the look to do it.

You looked down at the floor and cleared your throat, affectively making both of the men turn their attention towards you. Minho looked concerened for you and tried to scoot over to your side to comfort you but taemin gave him a look that screamed ‘I dare you to try’.

“Can someone please explain everything to me again?... slower this time?” you asked with a soft voice

Taemin rolled his eyes and looked to Minho to explain the mess that he had gotten everyone in. Minho sighed and stared up at the ceiling before he began to talk.

“We, are all vampires, everyone that you met at the club besides the women. We live here in this house together.” He started and looked towards you to make sure that you were taking what he was saying to you well. But you refused to look at either of them. You had your eyes permanently trained on the ground as you tried to add everything together. “As vampires we have a mate…. Someone who is supposed to be made for us and us for them. Taemin is your mate.”

You looked up towards taemin who was looking down at you as if he was gauging your reaction. You didn’t say anything to him but merely looked over his features.

“But how is he supposed to be my mate?... he’s not even attracted to me! He let you have me!” you exclaimed furious that this is the way that things had panned out. “And… honestly I’m not attracted to him.” You said softly hoping that they didn’t hear that last part.

“And who are you attracted to? HIM?” Taemin yelled and pointed at Minho

It was your turn to roll your eyes at Taemin now. Why did he think that because you were his “mate” or whatever that you had to drop everything and run to him? He also admitted that he didn’t want you, so why should you go to him?

“Well I don’t excatly want to force myself into a relationship where I’m not happy nor wanted” you growled out to him

Taemin smirked at you and scoffed  “Not happy?... I would treat you like the fucking queen. Not wanted?... do you have any idea how appealing you are?” he stated like what you had just said was the absolute dumbest thing he had ever heard in his lifetime.

You shook your head at him in silent fury. Bull shit, you thought to yourself. You peeked over at Minho who was looking down at his lap as if this was the last place on earth where he wanted to be. You turned towards him in your seat and silently wished that he would look at you. Just once that’s all that you wanted. You just needed for him to confirm it for you that this was real.

“And what happens to us?” you asked him hoping that the stupid quiver in your voice wasn’t too obvious.

Minho slowly turned his head to look at your from the corner of his eyes before he looked back down in his lap. “We stop” he said

“this is so stupid… this is the first time that I like a guy who’s liked me back in the longest fucking time… and now it doesn’t even matter?” you said out loud

“I know and I am sorry.” Minho confessed “I should have never started anything knowing that it was going to end up like this, but he’s right!”

Your gaze sharpened on Minho and you were prepared to kill both of the men who stood before you, one for being an absolute idot and the other for being and even bigger idiot.

How could they be so carless and selfish? This is exactly why you had trust issues! The good guys always end up being the bad guys and the bad guys… well they’re still bad. So either way you didn’t win.

“as soon as he claims you it’ll be like I never even felt anything for you, because all of this” he gestured in between the two of you “is only because of the bond between us brothers.”

You looked at him and instantly any sort of emotion that you felt in the last 24 hours was pointless. It was all a big fat scam and he knew it. He only used you to feel good because of his freaky little psychic connection.

It didn’t matter how old or mature men seemed to be… they’re all the fucking same.

“So what happens if I don’t want to be with you?” you asked Taemin with the malice dripping from your voice making it obvious that you had no intentions of being with him.

He looked at you softly as if he hoped that his answer would make you feel some pitty, “you want the long version or the short version?” he asked you and when you didn’t answer he sighed and continued “I’ll start to halucinate and I’ll eventually go crazy. I’ll become violent and uncontrollable. And eventually the madness will lead me to my own self destruction”

Your glare softened and you started to feel some remorse for him. It wasn’t as simple for him to move on like you had the abilty to.  He couldn’t cry the heart break out and redecorate his house like you had done in the past. It wouldn’t take him a simple few weeks of heart break to get over you… it was a literal life or death situation.

You groaned out in frustration and ran your fingers through your hair. How did you become the person wrapped up in all of this monumental drama? You had always been a good girl and never did anything wrong and always worked hard and did what you were told.

You histerically started to laugh as you realized that all of those girls who you used to be jealous of because they had more than one man now seemed measily and pathetic. You didn’t have two men, you had one and the other didn’t love you but needed you to survive.

“If Minho feels this way about me then what about you? Why don’t you seem to be affected by me?” you asked Taemin

Taemin shuffled on his feet and then finally sat down in a leather chair that faces the couch.  “At first I didn’t want anything to do with having a mate. I felt like I was too young and it wasn’t fair for me to have met my mate when all of my brothers were significantly older than I am.”

Your jaw dropped and you turned to Minho completely uncomfortable now that you realized that he was actually ages older than you in the disguise of his former self.

“Wait-“ you put your hands up to stop Taemin and asked “exactly how old are you?” you eyed him skeptically. You wouldn’t have guessed that he was over 40 and Minho couldn’t be over 60… right?

“I will be 75 in july, and Minho” he glanced over at him and chuckled “He’ll be 142 in December”

You coughed on the air around you and as soon as you caught your breath you allowed your jaw to drop dramatically. You looked at minho and imagined the toned body underneath his clothes. Grandpa’s still got it! You thought to yourself and like he had read your mind Minho looked over at you and showed a small smile. he turned away quickly to not show his happiness by your amusement and Taemin’s obvious agitation.

“After I’ve just told you that you still look at him that way?” Taemin asked in disbelief

You looked over at him and quickly blinked as you tried to disguise your obvious glances at Minho, knowing what was underneath the thick clothes.

“So what are we gonna do?” Minho asked to anyone who could answer him

Taemin and you stoped and looked at eachother knowing that what ever happened would be up to the two of you. Mostly you.

“What are we gonna do?” Taemin asked you acknowledging your importance.

You sat back and sighed thinking about what would change if you agreed to become taemin’s mate.

You’d probably end up continuing life as normal but just as a taken woman… and even if it wasn’t a relationship that you necessarily wanted it didn’t mean that you would allow for Taemin to go insane and put lots of people in danger.  That was too selfish.

“Im not promising that I’ll ever fall in love with you… and I’m not saying that I’m going to take advantage of your affection either but, I’m not a murderer. I’m not going to let you just die” you said without looking at taemin. “what exactly do you have to do to claim me?” you asked

Taemin’s eyes started to look amazed and hopeful and he sat a little bit closer to the edge of his seat

“It’s really simple….” He started but the laughter from Minho immediately stopped him from continuing

He looked over at Minho and the fire that was in his eyes suddenly dissaparead. Minho covered his mouth and let out a few sorry’s but you knew that he didn’t mean it.

“What is it?” you said focusing back on Taemin hoping that he would continue

“Well, I have to bite you and drink some of your blood.” He said

His tone seemed off like that wasn’t the end of his sentence and you looked at him expectantly waiting for the rest to come.

“and we have to have sex” he finished with his head hung

You nodded your head and thought it over. The biting thing was expected. You didn’t think that it seemed to surreal or jaw dropping. It seemed just like standard vampy stuff. But the sex part was something that you had to think about.

He “loves” you and your supposed to love him back and its part of the process to save his life… Could you really sleep with him that easily? Even though as of an hour ago you were completely swept up in Minho? Even though you really believed that you had something incredibly special with him?

You looked over at minho and he didn’t face either you or Taemin. You knew he probably didn’t want to have to hear whatever answer you had for Taemin, but he was semi-responsible for this predicament that the two of you were in. you felt sorry for him but also, felt angry that he didn’t have to feel the pain of the seperation between the two of you after Taemin had claimed you.

At this point you didn’t want anything to do with either of these men. You just wanted to go home and move on like normal people were able to. But you were a part of something much bigger and you owed it to Taemin to try. You wouldn’t allow your selfishness be the end of his life.

“does It hurt?” you asked softly

“of course it hurts.” Taemin said with a smile in his voice “but after ive claimed you you’ll start to enjoy the feeling of being bitten, because it will make our bond stronger each time” he explained

“and how long do you have before…?”

Taemin sat back in his chair and sighed softly “I don’t know exactly, but considering that I’ve already thought about murdering my brother twice today I would say that I’ve probably got maybe a week or so.”

“wow… that’s really soon!” you said speechless by the unforgiving time frame that was given to these guys who had found their mates.

The room had gone silent as the men awaited your answer and you could hear the sound of the hand ticking on a clock in the room. You rung your hands together and decided if you actually wanted to say your answer out loud.  The men both looked at your nervous gesture and looked at you apologetically.

“I think, that I’m okay with it. I know that im not going to let anything happen to you…but I cant promise you that ill let you claim me right away.” You said softly

Minho quickly stood up from his postion and turned to leave the room without giving the two of you a single glance. You knew it had to be hard on him since he was still feeling feelings for you and hearing that you were ending things between the two of you (even though it was inevitable) was happening as of now.

You watched as he dissapeared from taemin’s office to probably retire to his own study or his own room. You wanted to follow him and apologize but decided that discussing the life or death plans with taemin were a tad bit more urgent. You turned your attention back to taemin and he looked like he was about to cry.

“I can’t believe that this is actually going to happen.” He said

“so now what do we do?” you asked him

“well now that you’ve agreed to be my mate you need to move in with us, it’s the-“

You gasped when he said the words “move in with us”. How in the world had your life flipped upside down in the matter of thirty minutes. You looked at him like he had grown a second head and he blinked his eyes at you like he was uncomfortable being under your shocked gaze.

“MOVE IN?” you yelled

“yes, and it would be probably be best if you quit your job too, just-“

“woah, woah!” you said with your hands up “I can understand the move in thing, since we will be mated together but you really want me to go as far as quitting my job?” you asked in complete and utter disbelief. You couldn’t believe that he would have the gall to make you do something so huge.

“Well if something were to happen to me I don’t think you’d excatly want me to show up at your work sex crazed and thirsty for your blood” he said sarcastically.

You scoffed at his jab and sulked in your spot “so you want me to basically be here all the time?” you asked and taemin just nodded his head at you. “what am I supposed to do then?”

Taemin looked around the office and bit his lip as he contemplated your question.  “we can get to know eachother a little better and then maybe we wont have to wait until im at the brink of death before you’ll have sex with me” he said with a smirk.

You scoffed and imagined kicking him in the shin for his lewd comment. How in the world were you expected to be with him for the rest of your life? The thought suddenly crossed your mind

“wait, does this mean that im going to grow old and nasty and you’ll always look like this?” you asked him and he laughed at your bizzare question

“Only if I don’t change you.” He said plainly “but eventually you will end up falling in love with me… and whenever that happens then ill change you!”

You laughed at his confidence “what if im 55? Or what if im older?” you asked thinking that you’d cornered him into backing down

“Vampires mate for life…. And nothing else is important once they’ve found their mate.” He said dropping his smart expression but instead looking at you like he was trying to convince you that what he was saying was the absolute truth. “it wouldn’t matter if you were 40 or 99, because I would always love you like it was the first moment I met you”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and you had to admit that it sounded like a great deal… It was just too bad that you weren’t in love with him. Regardless though, you felt like you had solved another clue in the Taemin mystery. He wasn’t just sarcastic and broody, but actually believed In love and looked forward to it. Despite the bad boy image that he portrayed he actually was pretty romantic.

You cleared your throat and looked away from him and focused on the wall across from you. “So I’ve quit my job and I move in tomorrow…” you said to no one in particular, but rather just saying it outloud as if it were a confirmation.

“tomorrow? Why? I’ve already got a room ready!” he said matter-a-factly

Your head snapped back to look at him so quick you thought your neck might break.

“what!?”

“this place has like ten extra bed rooms… of course one of them is for you!” he justified

“yes, but I need my things!” you exclaimed

“okay, so lets go get your things!” he said as if he were asking you to simply run an errand for him

Your mouth hung open and your eyes were wide “your serious…?”

“yes, lets go” he said with a  small smile

You closed your eyes for a moment and hung your head for a moment. You silently prayed to the gods that they watch over you as you did something that was probably considered worse then blasphimous.

You were going to have to get used to doing things at the same speed as the boys if you were going to live here and clearly they had a no nonsense attitude, which usually you would apreciate, but in this life altering moment you wished that you had some more time to yourself. You enjoyed the silence for a few more moments before you stood up and nodded your head.

“okay… lets go.”

Taemin smiled at you wickedly before he approached you and quickly whisked you off of your feet. You didn’t have time to scream or yelp in surprise before he put you back down on the ground. You steadied your feet and looked up at him with a scowl but noticed that you werent in the office anymore. Instead you were in a garage where there were rows of luxury cars parked. You turned around and spun in a circle as you took in the new atmosphere. You stopped when you finally faced taemin again and tried your best to hide the smile that was desperately tugging on the side of your lips.

“wow!”

Taemin smiled at your astonishment and walked over to the nearest car and opened up the passenger door for you. You quickly shuffled around him and buckled up in the red sports car. It was nicer than Minhos and you avoided the desire to look around and admire the car by looking straight ahead.

“Whats your address?” he asked you as he started the car

You told him and he quickly backed out of the space and sped out of the garage and out into the street.

You held onto your seatbelt for dear life as your heart beat in your throat. If the house full of vampires wouldn’t kill you then Taemin’s driving surely would. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on your breathing as he made his way into town and zig zagged through traffic.

“please stop!” you begged keeping your head inbetween your hands and knees. You felt like you were going to puke at any moment and wanted nothing more than to fall to the stationary ground and kiss the earth.

“okay” he said with a smile in his voice.

The car jerked to a stop and you took a cautionary peek outside to find yourselves parked outside of your apartment complex. You laughed like you had absolutely lost your mind and you slapped your knees as you felt the tears leave your eyes.

“if you…ever do this again… I will kill you” you said inbetween your laughter

Taemin’s smile immediately droped from his face at your promise and he quickly apologized

“I’m sorry”

“How did we get here so fast?” you asked

“well, really your appartment is only like ten minutes away” he stated

“It took us TWO MINUTES TO GET HERE!” you yelled at him in the small space

He winced at your volume and nodded his head with his hands in the air in defence. “it wont happen again” he promised

You laughed one more time before you opened your door and started towards your front door. Taemin took the time to walk like a human being and patiently wait for you to open the door. But as soon as it swung open Taemin pushed you inside>

“What all do you need for now?” he asked

“I don’t know like almost everything in my bathroom and a few things from my closet?” you answered

“okay, lets split up ill take the bathroom and you pack your clothes okay?” he offered

“sure”

You headed into the closet and pulled out the luggage set that you had and sat it down on the bed for taemin to pack your belongings and left your own in the closet with you.

You grabbed as much underwear and comfortable clothes as you could find. If you didn’t have to work then there was no reason to have to dress up. Might as well enjoy the relaxing time ahead of you while you could.  You grabbed pajamas and packed at least one nice outfit. If you were going to have to abandon your job then you needed to atleast go in and formally apologize to your boss.

You were about done with packing as little as you could when taemin came out of the bathroom with his suitcase completely full and zipped up.

“I didn’t pack everything in the bathroom so you might want to check and make sure that I grabbed what you needed.” He said with a hint of a smile on his face

You eyed him skeptically and walked into the bathroom. It looked like he had packed every single thing that he could. The shower was empty the cabinet was empty and your shelf was empty. What did he mean that he didn’t pack everyth-.

Oh no, oh no no nonononon NO!

You looked in the bottom shelf of your towel rack and found your small bag sitting in its usual space with the top unzipped and wide open with your dildo staring straight at you. You smacked your hands over your face and sunk to the floor.

Why did he have to find that? And why did he have to even mention it? Why couldn’t he play it cool and just move on from it?

“Since you’ll be living with me now you wont need to bring that with you” he said behind you crouched down to your level.

You wanted to push him over, but just to spite him you zipped up the small case and carried it out of the room defiantly.  You threw it in your suitcase and zipped it up.  You grabbed your tote and packed it with random things that you would need like your charger, laptop and a few books and movies to bring along with you so you wouldn’t loose your mind, while taemin put the luggage in the car. You silently said good bye to your tiny space called home and left when you heard the sound of taemin’s foot steps outside.

 On the way back home Taemin was a decent person and decided to drive at the speed limit and as soon as you got home he lifted the luggage out of the car and whisked you away to your new bedroom.

You admired the space that seemed like it was obviously decorated for a womans preferences and walked around the room to see all of the amenities. A small chandelier to light up the bathroom and closet. A four poster bed with a sheer canopy above. A marble vanity set with gold finishings and no lack of grand floral artwork lining the walls. The walls were painted white and all of the furnishings were a beautiful matching white handcarved wood. The bedding was a soft pink and the mountain of pillows that sat on top of the bed added color to the room.

Although you didn’t want to admit it the room was absolutely beautiful and just your style. It was simple and yet classically beautiful. You smiled and jumped on the bed to test how soft and fluffy the bed was and squealed with excitement when your body seemed to melt into the matress.

“well, ill let you and your toy get comfortable…” he said with a cocky grin “if you need anything, uh.. we don’t really sleep so you can find me in either my study or in my room which is actually just across the hall” he said

You let out a sarcastic “ha!” at his mention of your toy and nodded your head a his instruction.

He left you in your room and you began to unpack all of your belongings and set up your bathroom and your closet.  You loved that you didn’t  have to decorate the room any since none of your belongings would quite fit the class nor the design of the room.

You noticed that it was near midnight and you quickly stopped what you were doing and decided to shower. No matter how much you wanted to finish the heaviness in your eyes only got worse by the minute.  

You but on your comfiest pajamas and jumped in bed with a smile on your face. It felt so good to finally just lie down in bed. The sleepiness immediately took over and you drifted off to sleep. But not even five minutes later you were awaken by the sound of your door slowly opening. You didn’t dare open your eyes to see who was there so you held your breath and remained still.

You could hear the sound of footsteps getting closer to you and you suddenly felt the matress dip. You squeezed your eyes together and prayed that who ever this was would go away.

You could smell the stentch of cigarettes and hard liqour fill your lungs from the person behind you when a pair of strong arms pulled you into a broad chest.

“I know you’re awake baby, but just try to close your eyes and go to sleep.” A deep raspy voice said from behind you

Your eyes snapped open as realization hit you.  Minho!

You wanted desperately to curl into him and hold him all night. You wanted for him to say that everything was going to be okay. That as long as you held onto each other nothing would happen. But nothing was going to happen as you planned. Not a single thing.

NEXT PART

[time-2-vent]

So. This is a master post about my grandma. Some of this has already been talked about here but I posted this on my private fb and wanted to keep it here too.

.

Okay.. so. This is gonna be a long and detailed one.

Ive never had a space where I could vent about my grandma to more than just people close to me without being blamed or her finding out. The only family I have on here is my mom and im hiding this post from her for various reasons. I understand if many of you can't read all the way through this because its gonna be a lot. I just want the people around me to have a better grasp on exactly why im so depressed.

Before I start im gonna add a trigger list because there is a LOT and im probably going to be very emotional typing this. A lot of it ive never spoken about publicly.

So for a list of TW:

Emotional, physical, sexual, and animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophelia, racism, su*cide, hospitals, ableism, be******ty mention, fatshaming, weight mention, f slur.

.

.

.

.

Okay. Im going to start at when I moved in with her. She tricked my mother into signing over custody of me when I was 10. When I was 9 years old I was forced into a mental hospital after being heavily overdosed on medications meant for adults to the point I was "sitting upside down in my chairs unresponsive and talking about tranquilizers" which i have no memory of. The hospital was probably the worst experience in my entire life and I was almost murdered by one of the older kids. After getting out of there I moved in with my grandma.

Throughout my life shes said and done so many horrible things to me. She would always yell and scream about the smallest mistakes. She used to pick me up by my hair. She was just fucking horrible to me.

Around the age of 10-11 when I started going through puberty she would always make fun of the way my genitals looked. She would ask me to stretch my labia out and move it around. Specifically she would ask me to "show me your bat wings". It was fucking disgusting but as a child I thought it was just haha funny joke.

For a while I thought I just imagined that until my mom brought it up to me and how she CAUGHT HER saying that to me multiple times. So I had confirmation that I wasn't just imagining it. I once confronted her about it and she immediately started crying (ive only seen her cry 3 times in my entire life) and told me if I ever said that again she would tell everyone in my family that I was a "prostitute" and would make everyone in my family hate me, and that it was my mother who did that to me.

My mom lived with me and my grandma for a few years but eventually moved out on her own because she couldn't handle my grandmas abuse.

My grandma dated my moms r*pist, which was my moms uncle, and told my mom she never got r*ped, and said my mom only fucked him for "attention and cigarettes". My mom was 12 at the time.

My grandma told me at 15 that the "only reason you think you're trans is because you got diddled as a kid"

My grandma called me a whore when I started becoming sexually active despite her having her first child at 16.

She once told me I was "just like my father" who is a sex offender and abused me as a child. I was also forced to give my at-the-time step brothers head when I was 3-5 and was taught that it was okay.

My grandma has called me every possible name in the book. Anytime she does something wrong its automatically my fault. She told me she would believe that im trans when I showed her my dick (at 16).

Shes incredibly rude and racist, says she hates how she can't understand Asian people. She's said the n word. She's made so many "jokes" about how "aggressive" Black people are. When my cousin found out he had Black in him she said, and I quote, "I always knew he had a n***r ass" which fucking disgusted me. Shes scoffed at my mother for limping. She scoffs at anyone disabled. Always says "you wouldn't catch me looking like that in public." She would tell my mom she was faking her pain. And coincidentally of all 4 of her kids, one was born with physical deformities. she says thats not the reason why, but she gave her up for adoption. She yells at anyone standing in her way who isn't aware. She is incredibly rude when she speaks to people to the point its embarrassing.

When I hung myself earlier this year and a friend came to pick me up she was yelling at me like "Oh so you went and tattled on me didnt you? Did you say oh boo hoo shes so abusiveeee!!" As I had literally just laid passed out in the snow from hanging myself.

When she found out I hung myself she bitched about how I had her snow boots and how she would have had to climb up the hill to find my fucking body as if it were a chore. She asked me if I wanted to be cremated out of nowhere and when I said no she replied "good I didn't want to have to pick your piercings out of your dead body" when I told her she made me want to kill myself she laughed at me and said "well then you'll never survive" my first suicide attempt was at 12 years old. A few weeks ago I started carving at my throat in front of her because im so desperate for her to LISTEN to me for 5 FUCKING SECONDS. I have legitimately cried on my knees and begged her to treat me like a person time and time again. She laughs at me and turns it around to my issues. She guilt trips me and makes me think everything is my fault. She calls me disgusting for having 1 or 2 shirts on the floor. She told me to MY FACE she will never see me as trans. Misgenders me, misgenders my friends. I jokingly told her one of my cis friends was trans, and when she left she asked me "does he really have a penis?" ABOUT A WHOLE ASS CIS WOMAN. She told me she ran over and killed a dog with a broken leg to "put it out of its misery" she would always use glue traps and I told her not to tell me about it so she waits until were in public and says "yknow whenever I catch a live mouse on one of the traps I throw it into a plastic bag and then go do the litter box to suffocate it". Shes threatened to make me pay the hospital bill when I called 911 because she was unconscious. She says horrible things to me EVERY FUCKIJG DAY. She's always making everying my fault all the time and sits and smiles while I'm sobbing and pouring my heart out because im tired of the abuse. Im so fucking tired. It goes on and on and on every day of my life. I literally slit my throat in front of her and she only stopped being mean for about a week. Im so depressed and mentally ill and this is beating on me every moment of my fucking life.

In not done but im shaking and need to stop typing for now

Edit: some other notable things, when my grandpa disowned me and stopped speaking to me for over a year she told me it was probably because of how disgusting I was. And "nobody wants to be around that".

She will ask me specific random questions about specific friends and if I dont know the answer or I forgot, she goes on a tangent about how terrible of a friend I am.

When I was cutting her hair she kept telling me I was doing it wrong, so I did it her way and she hated it and told me she's glad I didn't pursue hair because im terrible at it.

When my cat was dying she originally refused to take him to the vet because he was "just gonna die anyways so I might as well let him", then gave up her cat to the vet because she was peeing but didn't wanna take responsibility for that so she lied to them and said she showed up at her door and didn't tell them her age or even her name and that was so fucking cruel.

When she starts laughing at me sometimes she'll talk to me in a whiny "baby voice" and be like awwww, waaa im so abusedddd *mocks me crying*.

And she always talks in a tone that sounds pissed off and seems confused when I feel like I'm being scolded.

She gets in my face and puts her finger in my face and backs me into corners sometimes and then when I smack her hand out of my face she says she'll put me in jail for abuse.

Oh yea and simetimes when she gets mad at me she'll be like "ok GIRL" in the middle of me talking. Like its annoying and uncalled for.

I cant believe I forgot this holy shit. Years ago (was a minor here as well) I was attacked by my neighbors dog and it knocked me down and when I got home my grandma was accusing me of be******ty and said she was "watching it fuck me" and I was so fucking disgusted and hurt.. I try to block that from my memory because it was my third dog attack and I was traumatized.

She also regularly calls her brother a F@ggot. He is the only lgbt family member (he's gay) that i have.

She regularly fatshames people while only a few feet from them. And will whisper to me about how disgusting they look.

She asks for all of my friends deadnames and gets mad when I dont answer.

"I can't be abusive because I give you a home. I could have let social services take you."

"I cant be racist because my ex husband is Black"

"You must be living in a fantasy world where you make up shit that ive done."

"Id be depressed if I stayed in bed all day too."

"I need to learn to have lower expectations for you."

"I'm starting to resent you. So ill be taking 200$ a month for rent." (She has stopped this thankfully)(edit #2, she started taking it again im gonna be here forever lmao)

When I was underweight she would say things like "you look like an aids patient." And "Are you trying to look like your mother?"

"You're a hoarder"

[apatheticaria]

my spoilery thoughts on the last of us part ii

i apologize in advance for this super long post that you have to scroll past because i don’t know how to do the “keep reading” option thing

the only reason i’m writing this out is because i’m literally going insane from not being able to talk about my feelings for this game to anyone since no one i know actually cares lmao so this is mainly just for myself and anyone who wants to read this

the intro:

as i played through this game, i also watched a few playthroughs up until the point where i stopped to take a break. this was a game i couldn’t binge just because it’s so heavy and intense and sometimes you just gotta step away and take a breather

one of the playthroughs i followed along with was jacksepticeye’s and at the end he gave his review of the game like he normally does. i didn’t completely agree with everything he said, but for the most part i thought what he said lined up pretty well with my own opinion.

in particular, one thing that stood out to me was when he said that the introduction to this game shouldn’t have been Joel talking to Tommy about what he did at the end of the first game, but rather the whole flashback of Ellie’s birthday at the museum. then at “one” during the countdown to liftoff, the screen should’ve went black and fast forwarded to four-years-older Ellie opening her eyes in her home in Jackson (idk if i’m explaining this well, but Jack’s editor, Robin, edits this together and really sold it to me. if you wanna see it, go to the last part of Jack’s playthrough and look for it towards the last 30 minutes). i think this would have given us the time i think we all needed with Joel before he died and all the following flashbacks would be more focused on how/why Joel and Ellie’s relationship turned so distant - or hostile on Ellie’s part - and could’ve helped the pacing a bit.

Joel’s death:

potentially an unpopular opinion? but i actually like how Joel died. or uh lemme rephrase, i like the way they wrote his death. in this world of violence, hate, and brutality (actually doesn’t sound too off from our world but ahem moving on), i think the way he died was realistic, especially since he doomed all of humanity by saving Ellie in Part I. it just makes a lot of sense that someone would go after him and hunt him down

from the moment Abby and Owen stood over Jackson from the cliff, i was thinking: well theyre gonna kill Joel and since we’re gonna probably be playing as this girl for some (emphasis on some) of the game, they’re gonna go hard on the grey area of perspective in terms of revenge. which i was super on board with, but we’ll get back to that

when this game was first advertised, i didn’t know how i felt about a revenge story. it’s been told so many times and i’m never as hell-bent on revenge as much as the character is because it never feels warranted enough. that is, until i saw Joel die. watching Ellie pinned to the floor with a perfect view of his body, his face, beat to shit as she screams and begs for Abby to stop? haha that’s fucked Naughty Dog, thanks. but i do appreciate that they were able to make me just as mad as Ellie because of just how brutal his death was and how much i care, cared, about that character. no story has ever made me so incredibly enraged to the point i was with the main character full-stop to just destroy the perpetrator and take revenge. that’s why i think the way Joel dies is perfectly done. the fact that that cutscene is so horrible to watch for so many reasons just proves that it does it’s job.

Ellie’s half:

i actually don’t have too much to say about Ellie’s half of the story. this was what i both expected and wanted from the game, the whole game. while i can’t say i was having “fun”, because this isn’t really a fun game to play, you know what i mean when i say that this part was fun to play and follow.

side note: Naughty Dog’s improvement of your NPC buddy is so good, Dina and Jesse were both actually helpful, still not perfect, but also they’re not supposed to do all the work for you. i think the added layer that they could also get caught/seen and alert the enemy was completely unexpected and such a good addition to the gameplay (ofc this goes for Lev as well).

throughout the whole story, there’s kinda a problem with the pacing, and i know i’m not the first person to say that. however, i think the only big pacing issue i had with Ellie’s perspective was that kinda weird attempt of an open world map that they did with the gates. it felt a little unnecessary since i, and most other people, are playing for the story, not an open world with various side quest-like things. i missed the guitar cutscene with Ellie playing the guitar and singing to Dina (which kinda sucks, but i obviously just watched it after) because i just wanted to get back to the story rather than explore a large area. it was an attempt at something different so i won’t fault the game for that too much, but also stay in your lane lol so that section was a bit of a miss for me personally. i really liked the rest of it though, it had me engaged the whole time

Abby’s half:

ok. i have a lot to say about this half of the game since this is where most the problems occur.

first, let me preface this by saying that i don’t hate Abby. as i said, from the very beginning i knew she was going to have a, not justifiable, but an understandable reason for murdering Joel and that the game was going to be about seeing two sides to the same story. except, at the same time, i came here for Ellie, so why am i playing as this heterosexual? im mostly kidding. but fr i didn’t need the entire half of the game trying to get me to sympathize with Abby. i really didn’t need the message to be so spelt out for me, i got it from the moment i realized she was going to kill a favorite character.

i think my main gripe with the way they told this story is the way they formatted it. this story has all the elements to be amazing, but the execution just lacked the...finesse? idk if that’s the right word.

rather than splitting up the game into two halves, they could/should have integrated Abby’s story into Ellie’s so that when we cut from Abby holding the gun at Ellie in the theater to suddenly Abby as a young girl, it won’t feel so jarring when we have to start all over again with the upgrades and the timeline.

i really liked how we switched between them in the very beginning so why couldn’t that have just continued? in a book with multiple povs, the author often switches back and forth between every or every few chapters. you never see a book that starts with one perspective, then at the climax you have to start all over again from the other. at least, i’ve never seen this in any books i’ve read and i’ve read a lot ngl

maybe they forced us to stick with Abby for so long because if we’re forced to play as her, then we’re forced to get invested into her story. while this makes sense, it also really degraded at my enthusiasm for the game. it took me so long to just give up on the idea that we would be going back to Ellie relatively soon and when i did actually realize that was what was happening i was really disappointed.

instead of separating their stories, i would’ve liked to have Abby maybe one step behind Ellie the whole time so that while we play we’re just anticipating when Abby will finally catch up and it builds to this whole thing. instead, when we actually got to the point where everything was supposed to go down, we’re hit with whiplash and back to the very beginning with tutorials?? like did they just expect us to forget how to play since we switched characters?

i’m thinking, after Ellie and Dina jump over the barbed wire that explodes and Ellie’s knocked out, we could have switched over to Abby waking up in the WLF stadium. after Abby sneaks out of the stadium and you have that interaction with Jordan where he mentions Leah at the tv station, then we go back to Ellie waking up and tied to the table and we see Ellie kill Jordan.

after this i think Abby should have met Lev and Yara way sooner because i barely even remember what happened before Abby was caught by the seraphites it was so boring. so she gets caught by the seraphites AFTER we meet them through Ellie being shot through the shoulder (i still want to get all the first impressions of new stuff with Ellie because then it still makes her feel like the main character) and we meet the siblings and blahblahblah.

as a follow up, after Ellie kills Nora, which by the way, Ellie’s facial expressions are just so good with the red light while she’s just beating Nora to death? wow that entire interaction was so well done. anyway, after Ellie kills Nora, and Ellie gets back to the theater and the scene ends with her and Dina hugging, then we would switch to that whole section with Abby and Lev traveling to the hospital to get the meds and it would be cool if on her way in, Nora helps Abby and then on her way out, we run into a door we have trouble opening so we push and when it opens, Nora’s beaten up body is right there.

you get the gist. Abby’s story was barely intertwined with Ellie’s until the very end where she finds Owen and Mel dead. she doesn’t know that literally everyone else, except Leah, is dead too. i feel like that would’ve made the impact of Abby and Ellie’s fight at the theater more effective. affective? whatever i’m not an english nerd

i also think we should have gotten the flashback with Abby’s dad a little later when we’re expected to understand her character a bit more.

overall, i’m not mad about getting Abby’s side of the story, but i am mad that the way it was told felt so disconnected from Ellie. we could still get that whole arc of Abby going to the island to get Lev, she can still get her own story apart from Ellie, but she needed to have more of a interaction with Ellie’s actions.

Abby vs. Ellie, Abby’s pov:

i absolutely hate this fight. i really hate the way it was written and the way it happened. i get that the game is trying to give us Abby’s perspective and to show that in her point of view, Ellie is the villain in this story.

except, AGAIN, i don’t need this spoon fed to me!!! i KNOW that the world isn’t black and white and that people’s perspectives are different, but also? i don’t really care. both characters have gone through shit and both have done shitty things. neither of them are innocent, no one in this world is innocent (hence why i really dislike Mel, but that’s not really relevant), so it really comes down to which character you value more. in my - and most other people’s - case, it’s Ellie. i know the whole point of this fight is to make the player uncomfortable, but i wasn’t just uncomfortable, it made me legitimately start to dislike this game (spoiler for the end of this stupid-long review: i don’t completely dislike it)

the game really emphasizes that this is Abby’s story as much as it is Ellie’s and i get that, but this fight did not need to happen the way it did and the game didn’t need to be even longer after this. a lot of people say that we played from Abby’s perspective because Ellie would have killed Abby and that would be that (and she did, by the way, i relished watching Ellie get her revenge because while i don’t hate Abby, it was still so satisfying even if that wasn’t how the game wanted me to play). however however however, Abby wouldn’t have showed mercy either. she was absolutely going to kill Ellie if Dina hadn’t intervened then she was going to kill Dina if Lev hadn’t intervened.

here’s how i wouldve wanted it to go: we go back to Ellie’s perspective once Abby has the gun pointed at Ellie in the lobby and during their fight, Ellie would get the upper hand because she has weapons and shit (let’s be honest, Ellie would not win in hand-to-hand combat with fully-healthy Abby, we saw that first hand). Lev would try to jump in, but then Dina would disarm him and prevent him from escaping her grasp. then eventually Ellie would have the barrel of the shotgun pointed at Abby’s face and she would hear Lev tell her to please stop don’t kill her and Ellie would listen because the same exact thing happened to her (we could get a short flashback or something for more emotions, idk). so instead of killing Abby, Ellie would knock her out and her and Dina would leave and Lev would run to Abby’s unconscious body. this would end that cycle of revenge and because Abby has something more important to her than revenge (Lev), they would move on.

the ending:

if the game went how i just imagined, we probably wouldn’t get an ending that’s as depressing and open ended as it is, but i’m sure Neil and his team could figure something out, such as Ellie still has to deal with PTSD and Tommy’s really pissed at them and Ellie still looses her two fingers. so we get that little domestic sequence and the PTSD flashback and Tommy coming with his eye missing and showing the map. he leaves and when Ellie is about to leave in the middle of the night, Dina convinces her this time to stay and the next day Ellie tries to play the guitar one last time before giving up since she doesn’t have her fingers (i still want that last heartbreaking flashback, that one fucked me up i love it) and she goes out to leave it somewhere in the woods with it all ending with her walking away from the guitar that Joel gave her to symbolize her letting him go. idk man something like that, still not that open ended, but i’m just talking out of my ass rn

anyway that’s not how it went so we’ll stick to reality.

an open ending isn’t supposed to be unsatisfying, because that’s what this ending was. Part I does an open ending perfectly as we still get closure even though we don’t know exactly how things go afterwards (until now obviously).

after playing from Abby’s perspective for so goddamn long, it was weird to play as Ellie again, even while it was also a relief, and that makes me really sad. in the end, i did feel bad for Abby when she was literally left to starve and “hang” (but again i didn’t need 15+ hours in order to feel basic sympathy).

from the way they wrote the story, i knew Ellie wasn’t going to let it go and she was going to leave Dina and JJ. it made sense and i don’t think it was out of character for her, but the fact they did that in the first place and that Abby was the one to let go first? Abby got her revenge, she killed Joel, but Ellie never got that closure so of course she was going to go after Abby.

in the very end, Ellie is left with no one and Abby still has Lev and a group of fireflies to run to. Ellie’s biggest fear was being alone as she said in the first game, but that’s exactly what she’s left with. yeah life is unfair and i do like that the consequences feel real in this story, but i don’t think Ellie deserved to be done so damn dirty while Abby is living her best life. sure all of Abby’s friends were murdered because of Ellie and Dina leaving is Ellie’s own fault and i don’t blame Dina, but i mean we have no idea what happens to Ellie after this, where she goes. it at least feels like she’s on the road to eventually being relatively okay, as okay as you can be in this world.

i can’t completely articulate how i feel about this ending, even after three days having finished playing. all i do know is that while it’s realistic how Ellie’s story ended, i would’ve liked for Abby to get the same treatment. for her to not actually find the fireflies through the radio and escape from the Rattlers only to have no where to go so that, just like Ellie, revenge cost her everything and we don’t know where she went after.

maybe because Abby’s story was pretty much wrapped up and Ellie’s wasn’t, they’re planning for a trilogy, but i guess we’ll see.

the tldr;

this game has all the elements it needed to be amazing overall imo, i just wish they were all utilized Better. the reason it’s so hard to figure out how i feel about this game is because it has so much potential that just never came through and i’m really jealous of all the people who were blown away by this story. it’s still a good game though, but a 7/10 seems too high and 6/10 seems to low. ig it’s a 6.5/10 for me.

thanks for reading if you made it this far

[heungtanbts]

my personal highlights from bts wings chicago

warning: LONG POST AHEAD + SPOILER ALERT

not today was LIIIT

taehyung was seriously born to wear a headband wow

it’s obvious the boys worked so hard on their english and they’ve gotteN SO GOOD?! 

their pronunciation is so much more accurate and impressive 

so during the opening greeting ppl screamed so loudly for each member

but ESPECIALLY FOR JIN?? LIKE IM SO HAPPY?!

then yoongi did his whole “i can’t heaaaaar you” gesture that pUNK

i never knew i needed to hear hobi’s “I’M YOUR HOPE, YOU'RE MY ANGEL” irl but BOY DID THAT CHANGE MY LIFE

jungkook’s footwork for Begin - I’M SPEECHLESS. THAT BOY IS SO TALENTED WTF

then we have jimin performing Lie

oh my goodness

slap me across the face and call me dummy bc THAT LITERALLY MURDERED ME

his voice is so sweet and beautiful in person like imma need that honey for my sore throat from screaming like a mad woman for him

yoongi’s performance of First Love had me so emotional

like i didn’t even scream or cheer during his performance

there was just so much emotion in his voice and eyes and you could really tell he was giving his all

and that the song meant so much to him

idk it was just one of those times that i just silently appreciated instead of losing my ish

it was seriously spine chilling

THEN LOST BY VOCAL LINE

I WISH THEY’D PUT OUT AN OFFICIAL DANCE VER OF IT MAN

but hold up- then SAVE ME all of a sudden comes on and we’re like

OHHHHH SHHHHH-

but wait, it gets better

freakin I NEED U comes on and we’re seriously all dying at this point

talk about a THROWBACK

then namjoon performs Reflection

and when he says “I wish I could love myself” we all shouted back “WE LOVE YOU”

and i can’t even describe how beautiful this interaction was b/t us and him

i really really hope he heard us loud and clear <3

then he freakin steps into this telephone booth covered in enigmatic words and phrases

tO MAKE A PHONE CALL TO GUESS WHO

that’s right

tae freakin shows up all gorgeous being filmed in a b&w filter and

LEMME TELL YOU

THE HONEY VOCALS ARE SOSO REAL 

HE KILLED THOSE HIGH NOTES ALONG WITH MY POOR BROKEN SOUL

plus it was hilarious hearing all 847289 of us trying to hit the note with him

then on the screen there are these bursts of color

like LOTS of psychedelic rorschach blobs of color

and suddenly BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL HOBI comes on the screen

and the video cuts and he shows up on stage sitting in a chair

the best part of him performing MAMA is the fact that this sunshine boy was grinning during his ENTIRE performance

i was literally squealing like

HE LOOKED SO GENUINELY HAPPY TO BE PERFORMING HIS SONG AND HEARING US SING ALONG AND JAM WITH HIM

HE WAS SO SUNSHINE GUYS I THINK I WENT BLIND FROM IT ALL

and at one point the music cut and he grabbed the mic stand

and sang the bridge with no music and WE DIED

JUNG HOSEOK NEEDS TO SING MORE OFTEN PERIOD.

then things slow down with jinnie peforming Awake

which BTW

HIS VOCALS LIVE ARE SO AMAZING TOO DON’T SLEEP ON THIS MAN HE’S SO TALENTED

and apparently there was a plan to scream “YOU CAN FLY” after he’d sing “Maybe I-I can never fly”

but @infireation and i were the only ones to scream it

OH WELL I HOPE HE HEARD US AND OUR UNDYING LOVE

ok and freakin when they performed Fire

I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BURN THE ENTIRE STADIUM DOWN

like 3:33 is the most outrageous thing to see live 

then this guy behind me was like

“damn how are all these fans so good at following along to every word of the song”

and im like THAT’S RIGHT SON

FI-YUHHHHHHH HAH HAH HA HA

then we got super emosh because they decided to have us go on a feel trip with a BTS HISTORY MEDLEY

with N.O, No More Dream, Boy in Luv, Run, and others

guys my memory’s already fading i’m definitely forgetting other songs as;dlkfaf but anywho

then hobi KILLS Intro: Boy Meets Evil

only to pull a plot twist as it bleeds into BLOOD SWEAT TEARS

and again we’re like OH SHHHIIII DID NOT SEE THAT COMING

okay and although Outro: Wings is one of my fave jams

i didn’t think it was that popular or that they’d sing it

BUT MAN

IM SORRY I EVER DOUBTED ARMY OR THIS SONG BC WE WERE JUMPING AND SCREAMIN AND LOSING OUR MINDS

SPREAD SPREAD SPREAD MY WIIIIIIINGS

and hobi’s wearing his little whale hat he bought at the Shedd Aquarium during the song

and even says in english that he bought it when namjoon teased him about it and it was so cute omg

then they do an closing ment and everyone says one comment each

and jimin starts and shoots an arrow into my heart with his english

and in korean he’s like “thank you so much, we hope to come back soon”

and im all YOU BETTER COME BACK TO ME HUBBY IMMA DIE WITHOUT YOU

yoongi’s starts off in english but then is like “uh, can i speak in korean?”

and ofc bc he could obviously hear me, i scream back “NEHHHH”

but then he’s just like “chicago, saranghaeyo.” and im crackin up like

brehh everyone knows at least that

jin freakin says he feels like he was born again during this concert

and then he’s kissing his palm over and over again saying to us “this is you and me" 

tHIS GUY ASD;LKFJAF

then namjoons talking about how they really enjoyed their time in chicago

THEY WENT TO THE WATER TOWER PLACE AND BASICALLY WERE JUST MILES AWAY FROM ME THESE PAST FEW DAYS IM NOT OK

and then he ends me and @infireation when he says

"yeah if i were to live in america, i’d live in chicago”

THAT JUST DID IT FOR US WE DIED

then tae goes and he pulls his cap down and his voice starts to crack

and we think hes crying only for him to start smiling 

THAT FAKER WAS FAKING IT THAT LITTLE A;SLDFJAFJL HE’S SO CUTE

and he’s all “i love you. no, i really love you." 

*dies for the 75284th time*

hobi’s all smiles and when the cheering dies down a little 

my body acts on its own and all of a sudden im screaming

JHOOOOOOOOOOPE (for you @hobisoo) 

no regrets

then he says "you are our wings. let’s all fly higher together” with the most beautiful pronunciation

then jungkook’s like “i hope to see you guys again soon. even though we’re far away, we’re always together” in his amazing english

and namjoon butts in and is like

“i saw him memorizing his ment a thousand times backstage before this”

HOW FRUCKIN CUTE IS THAT THIS GOLDEN BOY WORKS SO HARD

then with the gorgeous rainbow sea of ARMY Bombs

they sing the fan song 2,3 and at this point if i wasn’t so dehydrated i would’ve started crying

it was just so beautiful and surreal for me to be in that moment, singing that song, reminiscing how long i’ve been their fan and journeying with them from the start to here

and how i was actually seeing them in the flesh, finally

i can’t even explain the feeling. i’m just so stinkin proud and filled to the brim with emotions

then they perform spring day and i capture that yoonmin moment during yoongi’s rap

and i will keep that picture forever MY LIFE HAS BEEN MADE

WHERE MY YOONMIN SHIPPERS AT

then the spring day bgm keeps rolling in the back as they’re bowing and what not

and yes, at the very end, i did wave my arms like a crazy person at namjoon who came to our side

and since we were at the edge he saw us 

@infireation ​ blew a ksis at him

and he blew one back

literally

dead

but then they leave and it hits me that it’s actually over

it seriously went by in the blink of an eye but now i really see what people mean when they say bts really knows how to put on a show

it was seriously so much fun, with so much dancing and uninhibited enjoyment

and they looked so genuinely happy to just be there and perform for us

i will never ever forget this night and how lucky i am to be a fan of one of the greatest, most humble, hardworking and down to earth groups known to man

thank you for being OUR wings, bts

let’s fly together <3

[demoisellebeauty]

It seems I have been tagged by my partner in crime @princebete to write a shitty explanation of my character so AWAAAY WE GO

Hello, my name is Belle which means “beauty” and damn did my parents have good foresight because I’m a banging piece of ass. Or well when I say parents I mean my dad since my mom was brutally murdered by the company that made this movie for the sole reason that she is my mom and I’m not allowed to have a mom except to have her memories make my dad angsty and shit because if there’s one thing that really needed explanation it was the reason that I’m living in a village? Not really a question I had as I’m more interested in wondering why I can’t have a mom but what are you gonna do?

Anyways this village is pretty much the French equivalent of Hicksville, probably including the incest for all I know. Like we’re talking ultra conservative “women who wear their hair down are going to the Devil” type people. So obvs they don’t like the fact that I’m literate even tho let’s be real they’re probably also jelly of my mad skills at simultaneous reading and walking without bumping into shit. I got that fucking mastered and I’d like to see you try it and look as fly as I do. And I really just wanna get the fuck outta here but because I have a dad who’s dangerously close to blowing up himself and our house at any given moment I don’t have a lot of choice. Also we’re poor and if you’re poor you’re kinda fucked if you’re not spending every waking moment working your ass off.

It doesn’t help that there’s this fuckboi named Gaston who doesn’t know the meaning of “you ain’t getting NONE of this.” Damn jerk always throwing my books in the mud, do you know how expensive books are in this time period? Ass. And then he talks some shit about how women shouldn’t be reading and thinking and I’m like... ew. Like Gaston’s pretty hot but if his looks are a 9 out of 10 his personality is a 0. And I’m a pretty modern girl for my time, right? Like I’m all about women’s rights so it REALLY fucking sucks to be stuck in a time period where all they want you to do is get married and pop out babies until you die of the plague.

So I’m pretty damn happy that Dad’s finally got his amazing if probably lethal judging from how it can either chop you into pieces or give you a concussion invention and he goes off to a convenient fair so that we can get rich and get the fuck out of this place leaving me by myself which, really? You couldn’t take me with just this once? I know we got a farm to take care of and all but you remember fuckboi Gaston? BARGES THE FUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND PROPOSES TO ME, AFTER GETTING MUD ON ANOTHER ONE OF MY BOOKS. Did I mention he already had the wedding set up because he didn’t think there was any way I would say no? What a douche. NOT TO MENTION THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW HE HASN’T PICKED UP ON THE FACT THAT GETTING MUD ON MY BOOKS DOES NOT TURN ME ON.

After very literally dumping fuckboi in the dirt Philippe just HAS to interrupt my wistful longings for a better life to let me know that Dad somehow managed to fuck up a simple trip to the fair meaning that I have go and find him.

Naturally, my Dad just HAD to turn out to be in a spooky haunted castle straight out every gothic novel ever ruled by a giant ass talking and rly extra dramatic buffalo-lion thing that’s fugly as hell. I don’t know at the time whether he’s actually a giant animal or just a furry but both options are not ideal. I end up promising fugly buffalo-lion guy that I’ll stay in exchange for dad’s freedom and he agrees only for the asshat to drag my dad out without even letting me get to say goodbye smh. But I barely have time to think about that before it turns out that to make the castle even creepier, a shitton of the furniture is alive and walking and talking and it’s horrifying in a “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” kind of way. It’s really messed up when you try to think about what that must be like. But that said, dancing plates makesfor great dinner theatre, Toby’s should hire these guys.

Once I’m done with dinner I sneak out into the West Wing. Yeah, buffalo-lion guy said not to but I DO WHAT I WANT OK. And I mean yeesh if he’d wanted me to stay out of his room, maybe he should have told me that it was his room instead of forbidding it. Guy was asking for someone to come a-knocking. But damn, his room is more trashed than the aftermath of the worst frat boy party you’ve ever seen but hey, at least there’s a portrait of some random but hella fine dude but oh wait, there’s a pretty glowing floating rose that’s pretty obviously magic so I do what any reasonable person would do and try to touch said shiny floaty flower.

Of course I nearly shit myself when buffalo guy just comes in out of nowhere and starts screaming at me for invading his man cave (beast cave?) and tells me to gtfo I’m like “I can do that. I’m noping out, that’s it. im out bitches” Except maybe it wasn’t a brilliant idea to ride a horse out into a blizzard and thick woods filled with starving wolves. Thankfully buffalo guy saves me before dramatically collapsing and making me having to drag his ass back to his castle. Do you have any idea how much that guy weighs? It’s a good thing I work out cause I was this close to giving up. Its around then that I start to realize Buffalo guys (who’s name I never catch for whatever reason) might look scary but he’s actually just a large hairy man child and once he gets his shit together he’s not that bad a guy I guess.

Course it doesn’t hurt that he gave me a whole library. definitely turns me on more than dropping my book into mud. Not that buffalo guy turns me on but like he’s nice, you know, actually kind of sweet but im not thinking about him that way ya nasties. except ok maybe a little cause like we had this dance and everything and it got really sensual and idk what would’ve happened if I hadn’t cockblocked us by wondering about dad. Which, turns out buffalo guy (how do I still not know his name?) has a magic mirror that shows you shit (and I really hope he hasn’t been using it to look at me at certain times in the evening cause usually around then im either singing off key in the shower or masturbating over weird kinky beast sex).

dad’s in trouble fucking AGAIN cause the poor guy can’t go ten minutes without me around to bail out his ass and Buffalo guy lets me know and its really nice but I friendzone him for the moment and out to find dad and take him to the village instead of the castle where we might find better medical care and comfortable conditions for him. not one of my greatest ideas I admit. Things still would’ve been if only GASTON MCFUCKBOI hadn’t come to fuck everything up by trying to extort me into marrying him by throwing my dad into the insane asylum, which yes, he’s a little insane but like I’m into bestiality so... I can’t judge him. I try to wipe the smile off fuckboi’s face by proving buffalo guy exists only... now fuckboi wants to kill buffalo guy so I kinda fucked up . 

I eventually get back to the castle just in time to save buffalo guy only not really because GUESS WHO FUCKS ITS UP FOR EVERYONE? if you guessed fuckboi you’d be right cause he just goes full Shakespeare and stabs buffalo guy right before falling to his death, which sucks maybe but I’m more sad about buffalo guy (SERIOUSLY WHAT’S HIS NAME) dying before I could tell him that I was up for kinky beast sex but instead of that I just tell him I love him.

Then I swear it was like I had an acid trip or something because Buffalo guy suddenly starts floating and glowing and going through a magical girl transformation into the hella fine dude from that portrait in his room and- ooooooh I get it he was cursed it was super obvious, you’d think a smart girl like me would’ve caught on to something like that but I guess not. 

But the good news is that buffalo guy is human so I don’t have to worry about being into bestiality and we kiss and there are actual literal fireworks which is awesome and there’s something about a spell or whatever idk but i’m more concerned with asking WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR REAL NAME SO I CAN SCREAM IT IN BED.

But yeah we live happily ever after and all that jazz cause I’m a princess now and don’t have to do my own shit anymore. Moral of the story is find a hairy sugar daddy cause he’ll turn out to be secretly hot and not mind your weird kinks.

TAGGING: all the shitty muses