#scp cheesus

[your-witch-trial-has-expired]

SWEET 6542

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially) Daily ask №3

Technoblade and the Blood god edition!

I saw you mention an incident in which somebody got a -1 hand while playing a game of rock, paper scissors with him. How the heck did that happen? How do you piss a guy of in the game of rock, paper, scissors so badly that your arm gets disintegrated?

What college degree did he get? And how the heck? I mean college is already hard enough, how did he manage to get in without documents and while being a vessel for the Blood god?

What are the criteria of someone being an orphan? Like, I assume they'd have to have 0 parents. What if they live with their grandparents? What if they don't know that their parents are dead? Does found family work? What if the parents are in a coma? Just out of the picture? If a surrogate parent was involved do they count too? Adoption? Complicated definitions of being an orphan, dude.

So he just.. got spontaneously summoned by Tommy one day.. and was just fine with it?? I mean I assume that was before the foundation. So Techno could just be sitting in class and then go tear some dudes apart and then have to drive back to class? Unless they lived in the same city which would be more convenient.

How does he feel about being Tommy's tool, basically? Sure, everyone including Tommy care about him, but he is a self-defence tool for Tommy, isn't he? Doesn't it sting a little? Considering C! Techno's whole "I am a person" theme and monologue on dsmp, I assume there's something there, isn't there?

Does he have any opinions about being surrounded by 2 completely different gods? The Blood god and Phil. Because sure, Phil cares about him but he's still a god. And I assume he doesn't have the highest opinion on the Blood God (fear/disgust/spite, perhaps?), does that reflect on his opinion of Phil in any way? Phil does also go on bloody rampages, doesn't he? To protect the ones he cares about, sure, but so does the Blood god. Sounds like a great glass (angst) opportunity.

Uh-oh, I might've set complete chaos onto the foundation the last time around. So uh, I do despise it in this universe but also not having amnestics at all would indeed set the world on fire, I think. So, I have an idea. Amnestic brownies. There's just a room full of an infinite amount of amnestic brownies now. And the foundation is thoroughly convinced that they always used amnestic brownies. Oh also amnestic brownies don't work on the main crew. Just because.

Yes, I absolutely agree with the Blade demanding that he gets more cookies because of his size. So uh, a yellow truck just casually rides up to wherever they are camping. The truck is full of all different kinds of cookies. Here ya go. They also won't ever get moldy. Whatever flavour you want, it's there. Magic. Oh also the truck is invisible to everyone else besides the main crew so nope no risk of being discovered.

Boom the foundation mysteriously forgets about the main crew's existence amd all records of them dissapear. So they're not searched for. Under their respective scp numbers are now:

Phil - a chest that works like an infinite bag from dnd. But it only works on people. You throw people there and then you can call out their name and they return. Unchanged and with no memories of what happened there. (Haha get it, collected)

Wilbur - a shadow bunny. It's a bunny. Made out of shadow. Just a normal bunny. Likes carrots.

Tommy - an anime episode where the scenes play in a different order every time. Also there's occasionally a giant "fuck off" watermark on.

Blade - an axe but all blood that comes out of the wound made by that axe is censored, like in a children's game. The textures are randomly changed to one of definitely not blood.

Ranboo - as previously stated, amnestic brownies

Cheesus Crust, this is more me causing complete chaos in the fault world than an ask. I'm sorry? I can go back to a more ask and a shorter format if you prefer that

Get as silly with this as you want! I'm having a swell time with hypotheticals. Though it might be easier to send only a few questions at a time and save the rest for later, since tumblr formating is a pain. Answers below.

The Blade never. loses. It's impossible. The universe contorts itself to ensure this no matter the odds. Mind, this doesn't necessarily mean he wins. So theoretically if someone were to nuke him from the other side of the planet, The Blade would die but also an accident would occur (wire short circuits, random truck, etc) that would kill the person who slapped the nuke button. The Blood God answers anything that hurts or challenges his vessel, often against The Blade's will, so it's less that The Blade was mad enough to tear off someone's limb and more so that The Blood God chose to do so to guarantee victory in a game of chance. Is there a different way The Blood God could have won? Definitely. His strategy is unmatched, and he can almost sense an opponents move before they do it, giving him insane reflexes. However. He likes blood. So no arms for that poor D-class.

English major, folklore and mythology minor. He didn't go in person to college (aside from graduation, which was a very chaotic affair but he'd thought it'd be funny). Used a laptop and never once turned on his zoom camera since he gave a different excuse for it every time. He paid for it via online gambling since he never loses. As for ID, his college friends call him Dave so I presume he committed identity fraud at some point. Likely did something similar speedrunning K12 education since beforehand his main education source was the voices.

An orphan status is something The Blood God can sense via soul bonds, since Bonds are kinda his deal (usually of the enemy/challenger sort but still). Have to be a child. It counts things like adoption/found family, since Collection counts otherwise Wilbur would be deadzo. It relies on a person's attachments to a parental figure, so grandparents/believing their parents are alive/coma would work. In Tubbos' case, Jasmine (a member of the hive) has parents that are living, but she doesn't consider them parents because they shot Tubbo. Ergo, Jasmine is an orphan, and Tubbo is too even if other members are adults who have parents.

The first encounter between Tommy and The Blade is found in the short story What Happened in the Catalyst. The Blade had graduated by that point and was living with Wil and Phil. So luckily he lived on the same continent by that point lmao. The Blade was incredibly confused when first summoned but was being shot at and so dealt with that first, inadvertently rescuing Tommy who survived because of Red stopping The Blood God. After a very hilarious phone call where Philza thinks he's in a hostage negotiation, they sort everything out. The Blade doesn't really fit in a car and Tommy's parents don't own a horse trailer, and so I guess he stayed with the Simonses while Phil and Wil made their way to Nottingham, since they're less conspicuous. The Blade got tacos out of it, and Tommy utterly hero worshiped him, so he was more or less cool once he had a plan to reunite with his friends.

The basis of The Blade being summoned by Tommy has its roots in how Technoblade would show up when called for battle, specifically the Battle of the Lake or whatever it was. Complaining about being woken up and grumbling yet eager to help his friend. Tommy had a pattern of getting in over his head and relying on his friends to get him out, and so I made that his literal power (along side starting wars). In the DSMP it degraded into a feeling that Technoblade was just being used for his might to further Tommy's goals. However, in Fault the summoning isn't controlled by Tommy at all, so it's harder for it to resemble a pattern of being intentionally used by a friend since the guy bleeding out on the floor probably doesn't have much control in the matter. If anything, The Blade feels more like he's The Blood God's tool than Tommy's. Actually, summonings are one of the few times The Blade is slightly more willing to be overtaken by The Blood God since it's violence with a purpose (rescuing his friend) rather than just because The Blood God feels like it.

But he also DOES resent Tommy to some extent. Summoning to him is less being used as a tool and more a chain that the Foundation uses to deny his freedom, dragging him back every time he gets out. Logically he blames the Foundation for attacking his friend, and The Blade's justice tends to the straightforward murder of the people causing the problem...but that doesn't change the fact he'd be free if it weren't for Tommy. On bad days he almost views Tommy as a tool to force him into submission. But again, in the Foundation he mostly encounters Tommy when he's dying, and it feels bad to hate the kid sobbing into his lap and depending on him for salvation. And it's even harder to feel like a hero knowing his escape attempt is the reason Tommy was sacrificed in the first place.

6. The Blade has a very very poor opinion of The Blood God chiefly for the fact his bodily autonomy is violated every time he takes over. He views The Blood God as a parasite trying to invade his mind, body, and control exclusively for the purpose of senseless violence. Frankly...it's a very derogatory and one dimensional view of The Blood God, but The Blade shuts him out completely, and so proper communication there isn't going to happen until a lot of character development.

Philza on the other hand doesn't violate his bodily autonomy or take over his mind. In fact Philza was very instrumental in The Blade getting better control over The Blood God and coping techniques for his intrusive thoughts. He made The Blade feel like he had more control through their careful spars where he brushed against the boundaries where The Blood God would usually take over while still maintaining sovereignty of himself. (Which in the long run only further hurts the relationship between The Blade and Blood God but not like Phil knew that so eh). Philza actually does have a decent relationship with The Blood God, since they often fight side by side. The Blood loathes and loves him in equal measures for protecting The Blade but also making it easier for The Blade to suppress him.

But also The Blade's background taught him that violence is the best solution to most things, which unfortunately Philza probably encouraged. Because Philza uses his wrath in the service of his Collected, The Blade is more at peace using The Blood God to defend him and his friends whereas before he was alone and saw fighting more as interruptions. Probably why The Blade is more amenable to Tommy summonings tbh. Philza encourages him to be violent, but also controlled violence. Which sounds crazy since Phil is out doing massacres, but to him that's very intentional, purposeful violence.

To The Blade, Philza and The Blood God differ wildly in the why department. Philza does it out of love and makes him feel free. The Blood God does it out of love madness and makes him feel trapped. However, there will come a scene where Philza tries to seek his bloody vengeance through The Blood God, only for The Blade to refuse being used as the tool of Philza's wrath. Not that he uses The Blade to the extreme degree The Blood God does, but the comparison is rather apt.

7. Ah this takes me back to the fake pot brownie scene I wrote for Fault years back and lost...alas. Basic premise was a Real Estate walking in on them crashing in a for-sale house and then Tommy trying to convince her the courtesy brownies she brought for clients were laced with weed and she's high as a kite. So I suppose brownies that hide the existence of anomalies has precedent in Fault? Though for the most part amnestics are used on humans and Philza was an emergency case. I'd be slightly more worried about the friends, family, and allies of the crew!

8. I'm personally imagining a dump truck, which is conveniently about the size of vehicle they'd need to drive The Blade around! They're going to get to Chicago in no time with that thing. Philza is having a very hard time convincing his kids that they need a balanced diet that isn't just cookies. Wilbur realizes he doesn't have hobbies now that he doesn't have to worry about food. Tommy WILL try to claim all the cookies by marking them with Red.

9. I'm assuming this is now what the Foundation has? And bravo they're all crazy creative. Let's see how the Foundation reacts I suppose.

Phil Bag of Holding Children: I can honestly picture him being used as a MTF tool, though my Foundation doesn't tend to use anomalies. But the potential of moving an entire flank of soldiers around with ease, completely undetected, is too tempting. One guy gets the drop on an anomaly and then boom throw out their pokeball and the poor anomaly is utterly surrounded now by an MTF squad.

Wilbur Shadow bunny: honestly so adorable. I feel like Morgan (observer from small au with Doctor!Phil) would fantasize about rescuing it. Wouldn't cause they're an utter coward, but they'd be nice and bring extra carrots.

Tommy Disorientating anime: 1 it would have to say m̶̮̯̃ụ̶̤̀̕f̵̯̹̈́̇f̴̗́́į̴̲̃̈n̶͎̈́ off because of Halo. Nobody in Fault can swear. Well except The Blade but he doesn't know that yet. 2, Webb (Philza's handler) would watch in his down time trying to make sense of it because he's desperate to connect with his daughter and teenagers like anime right? He's so lost.

The Blade PG13 axe: Honestly Maureen (guard) deserves this. Classic axe lesbian.

Ranboo Amnestic brownies: I can just picture Dr. Blake (very evil doctor) slipping crumbs into people's food and then taking notes on what happens. She would offer the whole brownies, but I reckon no one would trust that since it's so out of character.

And technically I suppose Tubbo already is a box of pinned bees and assorted limbs in the Foundation.

[barzzal]

congratulatory and birthday handshakes for #13 PIT @ NYI G.6 ; R.1 SCP | 26 MAY 2021

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №23!

Random/cursed edition!

What if I were to try and tell Fault!Wilbur where babies come from?

So. Phil has said that Tubbo's problem is not having blood in that one famous shitpost which got me into Fault in the first place. So. What if they did have blood though? Like what if some of the wax cells were filled with blood? Just spontaneously. For blood-letting purposes, yk.

I think I saw you mention somewhere that Fault!Tubbo either has or could potentially have memories from different alternative versions of themselves. Explain please?? Also does that mean that they potentially have memories from my personal au where most of my ocs and headcanons live? Btw my first reaction at that thought was "AAHH FUCK NONONONONO BITCH CHEESUS CRUST". It's not that bad though I promise I'd just be embarrassed either way.

What if. What if the Fault crew + the scp researchers got spontaneously teleported into a gacha reaction videos where they had to react to your shitposts, animations and drawings. Also throw a couple of 2018 style gacha vids in there for good measure. (While writing this I checked the lyrics of Devils don't fly and realised that it's actually a pretty serious song. Which like- damn.)

What role would the Fault crew characters get in the soldier poet king test? I do love that test a little too much maybe- here's the link to the quiz! https://uquiz.com/quiz/MYLbZ3/are-you-a-soldier-a-poet-or-a-king

This one has heavy spoilers!

1. Probably depends on how you do it, but I think he’d just take basic notes on sex-ed. Doesn’t have much puritan context of taboo or embarrassment on the subject. Fairly indifferent on the whole sex thing because he doesn’t think it’ll ever come up in his lifestyle of avoiding humans and knowing only 4 people. Probably a little irritated that its theories were so wildly off base, grumble a bit about how its own ideas about making Faustian bargains with dark entities and trading organ: [womb] for power make far more sense but whatever. He thinks pregnancy is stupid because how are you supposed to run like that? And your food is SIPHONED off by the fetus? Why can’t they get their own? And at the end you get a human. Terrible process all around. 3/10 Tommy has less ammunition to tease it now and that’s IT. 

2. Probably smell bad. Maybe they could do things like blush? Mosquitoes would go crazy for them. If this is ‘a previously weren’t a blood fruit gusher’ situation, Tubbo would be freaking out about 1. Who the muffin’s blood is this and 2. Starving 2 death babyy. Cause they really need that honey to operate. A bunch of baby larva are going to die even if all the workers can go into overdrive to feed the Hive. I think it would be very funny if Tubbo tried to break into a blood bank to donate it all. Shhh don’t worry about where this blood came from. Or what happened to the security cameras. It’s for a good cause trust trust. 

3.Heavy spoilers. The plan was that Tubbo and Wilbur get dunked through the near apocalypse via dissolving of the narrative due to SOMEONE being so depressed it fails to keep the void in check/potentially interpretable as being suicidal, thus exposing the two to pure void madness and realizing everything is a story. Which would entail having some familiarity/confusion about the source material of the dsmp, some vlogs, etc. but not necessarily AUs. But then SOMEONE turned out to be an abusive ass, and that plot point got very icky to me. I’ve been debating it for months, but realized I’m sexy and do what I want so am going to limit it to pure awareness of being a story, but not necessarily a fanfic. Still has the existential crisis of it and the philosophical implications that are going to so beautifully deal with themes of attachments, the purpose of narratives, and parallel whatever the hell trauma Tommy is dealing with during that section. But won’t actually deal with having any true awareness of stuff outside of Fault. Except maybe for realizing “Lawrence killed our muffining husband?!” because that scene was funny as hell to write. I dunno plans change. I’ve tried not to let outside events change my artistic vision, but it’s inevitable. 

4.Oh goodness they absolutely despise me for all the jokes about the horrors they’re going through. Probably think they’re being drawn ‘cute’ given they’re probably a lot freakier looking irl, and slightly distressed about being chibis. I think most would even consider it ‘out of character’ given their self perceptions don’t tend to be the most accurate. Current Wilbur is hissing and vehement about being constantly called an it because his character development is very far off from when that happens. Philza is a little disappointed that his bloodthirsty moments gets so much emphasis since he’s so chill 97% of the time. Tommy is absolutely chuffed to bits to realize he’s the main character, though trying to do damage control cause haha I’m fine guys this crazy internet person just made me seem edgy and depressed. 

Webb is going to strangle me for the Philza/Webb post tho. And the haha poor alcoholic divorcee doormat jokes. Dr. Blake assumes the blog is an anomaly and starts trying to torture it…?

5. I took the quiz sitting in the heads of all of them. 

Tommy: The Poet. “So I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me, till then my windows ache.” “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I am disappointed in you” literally happens in Fault. With Philza. “What is a sin? Inevitable” is pretty much something he tells Tubbo word for word. “What is hell anyway? Barren” "how can you love me with all that I've done ?"

The Blade: The Soldier. “if you were to wear a crown it would be covered in blood. The one of the guilty.” “The sword is at your side. It bore your name long before you did.” is rather literal both for his name and The Blood God. “but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" “What is hell anyway? Doubt”

Wilbur: The King. “Despite all your attempts, you have never been a healer. You hurt people and they leave and you are alone in a room full of silence. You sing to try and forget, but it does not work” everything about this. Trying to heal but being made of destruction, his fears of devouring his family, singing, memory loss, everything everything it’s so Wilbur. "come and be human with me" “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I love you." <literally Phil’s last words when Wilbur killed him in the Whumptober au. "but how can I sleep with the world in my head?" why it has insomnia.

Philza: The Poet. “There are rules. How many? One, and you will follow it.” For his Collected. “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough. You had the power to change things and it wasn't enough.” For all his dead children. "you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist" it's him reaching out. I love the reverse imagery with Phil, a god worshiping his mortals “anger is a strength in a world of apathy.” He feels no shame or burden for his anger, knowing well the good it can do. “Who taught you about guilt? The silence” 

Tubbo: The King. Absolutely perfect as a foil to The Blade btw. “What is duty? Undeniable” “The throne looks golden, and covered in flowers” “Fear: You did your best and it wasn't enough. You tried and failed and kept trying and it wasn't enough.” Saving people from Philza. “The one who hurt you haunts you. In your nightmares, they say I forgive you” Rosaliiiiiind. “Who taught you about guilt? God”