#scott is so shark. to me.

[kerrosin]

My gift for @rutellingmeashrimpfriedthisrice as a part of @mcyt-yaoi-exchange

Have Martyn in a situation! With nature and mystical creatures!

[piningpercussionist]

idk why I thought of this cute drawing crossover idea for pride month but fuck it ! and it’s understandable if you can’t do it but pls take care of ya self !

Kim Pine swimming underwater in a blue aquatic doodle background alongside the Bull Shark Pup aka the shark protagonist from the game Maneater and Kim be casually normally petting its snout while sneakily finding it cute as it nuzzles intelligently back with its snout.

and the Bull Shark Pup has cute waterproof lgbt lesbian flag blanket wrapped around its dorsal fin

and be equally nuzzling it’s snout against Ramona Flower while she was scuba diving allowing her to gently feel the bull shark pup’s. damaged scarred dorsal fin and sneakily use a underwater camera to take picture of its cute unknown existence.

Details: the ref images I sent were to help show what Kim Pine and Ramona Flowers wear while underwater and the in game design of the Bull Shark Pup.

Kim Pine be casually holding her breath underwater cause she can and secretly skilled at it. While wearing a green teal style long sleeved zip swimsuit and red diving mask on her face with a snorkel mouthpiece attached to it. and wearing pair of black red diving flippers.

Ramona Flowers would also secretly dye her hair in the Bull Shark Pup’s unique red blue colour pattern after finding out about its existence and it surviving in a public swimming pool due to Kim Pine discovering it first normally.

While Ramona be wearing a black blue short sleeved zip wetsuit diving flippers and diving mask on her face with a scuba tank on her back

while Ramona breaths from the scuba regulator oxygen mouthpiece in her mouth while holding gently onto a underwater waterproof camera.

i still don’t know why I came up with this and sorry for bothering with this cute idea but pls remember to take care of yourself and have safe day or night !🦈🤿🪸🏳️‍🌈🫧🎸

wow you came prepared

Yeah, bit too much detail/elaboration for me to really do- especially given I haven't played or seen much gameplay for Maneater just yet- BUT! I did do some sketches based on/around what you've given me here!

+bonus Scott doodle because that's genuinely how I think he'd react to the hair colors shfkshdkfhe

(And here's just the shark, in case anyone wants it- although I will note that it's blown up to fit the canvas, so sorry if that nerfed the quality.)

[co0lranch]

[star--stilinski]

Going off on your “stiles being accidentally hot”. Think of like a beach date but then you notice how all the girls are looking at him but he’s obliviously stiles not realizing he’s gained muscle from all his lacrosse training

(Then you prove he’s yours) WHAT?! Who said that?!

(Sorry I’m a freak)

anon is referring to this post.

did i make this ask from a different account?? i feel like we type the same. also that last part looks like the one meme of the spongebob fish looking back... ykwim?? too lazy to find it.

i would like to apologize to all blondes about to read this fic. my condolences.

☆

scott is spraying stiles down, head-to-toe with SPF 50. the way the sunscreen looks on his skin as it soaks in is downright criminal, honestly, and it seems you're not the only one who's noticed.

there's a pretty blonde bitch staring at your boyfriend.

okay, well, wait a second there. she's not a bitch for admiring him. there's been no tell that he's taken.

yet.

you frown and take a drink of the margarita lydia asked you to hold. there's a lipstick stain on the can where her lips were imprinted, but that doesn't sway your gaze from the blonde as she takes notice to his newfound abs. they're not crazy chiseled like derek- but they're definitely there.

meanwhile, bless his heart, your idiot boyfriend is singing along to the song blasting from the speaker scott brought, and he's using the sunscreen bottle as a mic. he turns to you and points as he sings the lyrics like the performance is just for you, and this does make you smile.

"is that a fruity marg? for me?" he drops the sunscreen and takes lydia's drink from your hand. before you can protest, he's already taken a big swig, and there's a shine on his bottom lip when he swallows. "that is really good. wanna taste?"

"what? i already had a taste. besides, it's-"

and then he's kissing you, pressing the strawberry flavor into your mouth. you flush bright pink and he pulls away, bobbing his eyebrows at you with a grin. "good, right? sorry, you just look really nice in that swimsuit."

you're aware, with the way his eyes dip down to peruse over your cleavage and hips, that 'nice' is code for 'unjustly fuckable.' and you kinda wish he would say it. but alas, scott is calling his name to throw a football back and forth and you brought your book for a reason, so you part ways with a mutual look of longing.

from your spot on the beach, the veiw is great. the white sands, the pretty waves, your boyfriend's pecs, the blue sky. really, the scenery is hard to beat. stiles' hair is stuck to his forehead after getting dunked by isaac and liam. oh, and your book is good too. you've been stuck on the same page since you sat down.

and there's two younger teenage girls fawning over stiles under a canopy next to you guys. lydia swirls her half-empty drink and scoffs at their giggling, glancing at you. "don't tell me they're the ones getting to you."

"what ever could you mean?" you bat your lashes at her dramatically. "they're just young girls who can appreciate hard work on a man, anyway."

"those aren't young girls." lydia nods past you, eyes darting between something. when you turn your head to look, there's that gorgeous blonde again with what seems to be her friend. both of them are slim and tall, and totally hotter than you. and eyeing stiles, much more boldly this time.

"careful babe, you're showing your teeth." lydia turns back to her own book and languidly flips the page. you close your eyes and huff out a sigh.

"it's probably just the newfound biceps, right? and the hair. he deserves some flattery."

"go cool off, i can't focus with the smoke blowing out of your ears." lydia hums without looking up.

you stand. "i'm gonna go for a swim."

"watch for sharks."

you glare at the two women across the way. "yeah, i will."

but just as you begin to make your way to the ocean, the football the boys were throwing veers off course and rolls over to the two younger teenagers, stopping right at their bare feet. you pause, watching as if in slo-mo as stiles jogs up and apologizes, seeming oblivious to their blushing and giggling. one of them hands him the ball back, and he beams down at her gratefully. they squeal when he jogs off.

you don't realize your fists are clenched until you're already in the water. they're little girls! that is totally normal! why are you being so territorial, as if he's gonna even know they like him!

you splash some water on your face, calming at the gentle sway of the tide, the cool temperature of the ocean lapping at your skin. yeah, you're fine. it was just a blip. just a blip. you're chill.

you turn towards the beach to beckon lydia in, but halt as you see blonde bitch and her croonie talking to stiles closely. you're so not fucking chill right now-

cool it, take a breath. you clench your jaw and shut your eyes, grounding yourself. you will not play overbearing girlfriend just as soon as stiles is getting attention. he needs to know that you're not lying when you call him hot and sexy and pretty and everything else that is true. this is perfect confirmation.

your eyes open because you hear a pretty, high-pitched laugh. it's the blondie's equally-gorgeous friend, who tucks her hair back and bats her lashes at him. he rubs the back of his neck, which he usually only does when you get suggestive with him.

and then blondie caresses his perfect, freckled bicep.

oh hell no.

you storm out of the water and right up to their little conversation, grabbing stiles by the wrist. "hey, can i talk to you for a sec?"

but you're already moving, practically dragging him along behind you as you make your way to the edge of the open beach, where there's a large rock sectioning off what's open and what's not. you pull stiles around it, stomping through shallow water to reach a completely empty, private side of the beach.

you don't think about who could stumble over or how the long grass tickles your ankles- you're already pressing stiles up against the large rock and kissing him blind.

he makes an "mmph!" noise when you first crash your lips onto his, but enthusiastically returns the kiss with a hand sliding to the back of your head. you barely come up for air as you lap your tongue into his mouth roughly, hands splaying across his naked, smooth torso. you press your whole body up against his, needing more more more of him. you need him all over you, need him to know who he chose and why. your mouth travels to his neck, and it tastes salty sweet when you start the makings of a dark hickey.

"hoooly- i'm- i'm, uh, not suggesting you stop, like at all, but i am a bit curious on what i, uh- fuck- did to get here? j-just so i can..." his words trail off as your fingers trace underneath his swim trunks. a strangled noise leaves his throat when you press your hips into his growing erection, raking your teeth lightly across the new mark at the same time.

"stupid fucking girls practically throwing themselves at you," you mumble bitterly before going in for another heated kiss. "as if it's not obvious we're together."

he pulls back from the kiss and you open your eyes to glare at him, only to be met with a cocky smirk and wide eyes. "are you saying you're jealous?"

you pull your body off of his, shoving his shoulder lightly. "don't look so happy! she was practically stripping you naked with her eyes."

he cups your neck with his hand, reminding you of how big it is. stiles' eyes lose the self-assured glint and go soft, flitting all over your face as he parts his lips. "you're not mad, are you?"

"at you? no." you feel his other hand slide around your hip and over the top of your ass, pressing your body back up against his not-so-subtly. "at the girls practically prowling around you like you're some piece of meat? yes."

his eyes zero in on your lips as you lick them, furrowing his brow a bit like he has to focus in order to finish his thought. "i didn't even know she was flirting. i wouldn't have..."

but you don't let him finish, stretching up to kiss again and he deepens the kisses quickly, his hands pulling you in. you mouth down stiles' neck and chest, slowly sinking to your knees in front of him. before you got far, he was all breathy encouragement. but when you look up at him, face to face with his happy trail and low-hanging trunks, his jaw goes slack and his eyes glaze over in anticipation.

"oh, are we- are we doing-? okay, yep, yepyepyep i am very cool with this, yeah-" he helps you slide his trunks far down enough as you kiss along his subtle v-line. he sighs, brows upturned for you. "all yours, it's all yours."

you nod, smirking to yourself when he has to clamp a palm over his mouth as your hands begin what your tongue will soon replace.

☆

stiles stumbles out from behind the rock a little while after you, red in the face and littered in hickeys. scott turns to you with a scrunched up nose, feigning disgust. "dude. seriously?"

you blink at him, wide eyed. "what? i was just checking on a jellyfish sting!"

lydia raises her drink to you, not looking up from her book. "impressive time."

"you think so?" you smile sweetly at her.

"unless he's always that quick."

"you guys are disgusting." scott gags as he escapes you two.

☆

im gonna be late for work because of this

[hedwig221b]

Kinda a two part question? Do you have supernatural Stiles recs? (really craving mermaid stuff but all kinds is very loved) and have you thought of writing supernatural Stiles?

and anon asked:

Do you by chance have any creature Stiles or mermaid recommendations? Thank you so much for helping us find stories to read and for writing such wonderful stories!

First of all, thank you! Secondly, to the first anon: I do have a supernatural!Stiles fic, it's called Predators and it's one of my best fics 🖤 I do plan on writing oracle!Stiles, but otherwise, no. Maybe, in the future, I am open to the idea!

So, here are the recs (including merman!Stiles 🧜🏽‍♂️)

Predators (creature!Stiles)

He was born for this. Nature itself whispered into his ear where he should put his hands, how to twirl his tongue just right and when to bite. Stiles knew well enough that his saliva was currently working its magic on this unfortunate man, making him hungry, lustful, and insatiable. Soon, all his thoughts would be consumed by Stiles.

And, just this once, Stiles would allow Derek to consume him.

Sui Tollech Gwanna Tach Omen by jackgyeoms (mer!Stiles)

Mermaid AU. Stiles was five when he first realised that not everybody grew a tail when they entered water.

No Oceans Left by zoemathemata (mer!Stiles)

Stiles has always been a merman. He just never knew how to tell anyone. He hasn’t shifted since his mom died.

It’s A-Boat Time! by Fae_vorite, isthatbloodonhisshirt (mer!Stiles)

He could hear the others talking outside, Scott and Isaac freaking out over something and Stiles snapping at them to shut up and help him get inside.

“Dude, how the fuck can you expect me to stay calm right now! Seriously, that’s a fucking tail!”

“We can talk about it later, just get me inside before someone fucking sees me! I don’t want to end up in a fucking aquarium!”

“Christ, you’re heavy!” Isaac grunted. “How much does this thing weigh?!”

“Shut up and walk,” Stiles snapped.

The Shells at the bottom of the Sea (mer!Stiles)

The one where Stiles is a seal merman trying to fit in with the sharks.

Mermaider by nothing_left_sacred (mer!Stiles)

“So what you’re saying is; you’re a mermaid princess.” Erica concluded.

“Yes, clearly. That is what I am saying. Thank you for putting it so concisely.” Stiles sassed, frowning at her. He wasn’t fucking Ariel; this was so far from being a Disney movie it wasn't even funny.

Or the one where a perfectly normal Beach Vacation escalates way too quickly, because this is Stiles' life.

Somewhere to Start by Lissadiane (fae!Stiles)

Stiles has always known that he isn't quite human - the plant life that tends to sprout around him whenever he gets upset or excited gives it away. He's never really fit in among the regular people in Beacon Hills and is determined to wait it out, go to college, and find somewhere to belong. He's forced to abandon those plans, however, after he desperately agrees to enter into an arranged marriage to save his father's life.

An arranged marriage with an angry, sometimes furry dude with trust issues. It's all very Beauty and the Beast, without the singing candlesticks.

The Last Chills of Winter by LeeHan (fae!Stiles)

“He didn’t magically charm me,” Derek shot back in his defense.

“Oh, so he just regular charmed you?” Laura said with a smirk.

“What? No,” Derek growled.

“Was he hot?”

“No! He just—“ He just had a laugh like a sun shower.

Fuck.

Faith, Trust, And Pixie Dust by Val_Brown (fae!Stiles)

Since he was a baby he had kept it a secret. Something that he shared with his mom. But when something comes after him and attacks his pack, he has to share his secret with them. He knows they won't judge him, hello, they sprout claws, fangs and some wicked sideburns. But he changes to the size of a gerbil and has wings and pretty much farts pixies dust on everything.

Using his new alliance with Peter, Stiles charges in, pixie dust flying to rescue his pack when they are captured by renegade hunters with a strange vendetta.

Bite the Moonlight & Bleed Gold by raisesomehale (creature!Stiles)

He waits until he and Allison are the only two left in the room. “This is a joke.”

Allison says, “Have you ever known my grandpa to have a sense of humor?”

“Really?” Derek’s eyebrows are halfway up his forehead, as he gestures to the word that has been printed under Creature Type on the paper. “‘A Merman’? They’re a myth. No one has ever seen one, let alone caught one.”

Allison leans forward to skim through a few pages and draws out a photo that she sets back down on the paragraph he’d been reading. In it, a marble white ribcage crests the dark, prussian blue of a midnight ocean, the only part of the body visible besides a thrashing, predominantly red tail, curved jaggedly through the waves.

“This image was lifted from Deucalion’s personal channels,” Allison tells him. “His people are keeping the discovery all hush hush, which means they managed the photo, but probably haven’t captured the thing itself yet.” She gives Derek a significant look, “Gerard wants us to get our hands on it first.”

a dying breed that still believes by paxlux (wingfic)

He thinks, Mom, we can do this, we’ll fly.

Hot Pocket Ratio by ShippersList (incubus!Stiles)

At the threat of the alpha pack, all Derek wants is to keep his pack safe and alive. As the last resort, he tries summoning a demon to help with fighting the alpha pack. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.

Or, the story where the classic demon deal of "Will you pledge your firstborn to me?" takes some unexpected turns.

There’s A Beast In My Heart (He’ll Only Bow To You) by RayShippouUchiha (creature!Stiles)

“Stiles.” Derek fucking whimpers and if Stiles wasn’t already dying he’d kill himself for making Derek sound so hurt. Stiles just wants to protect him so much sometimes because no one else ever seems to realize that Derek is so goddamn fragile and Stiles hates them all a little bit for not being able to see that. Or In an effort to expel the Nogitsune Stiles is given the bite but it all goes horribly wrong.

A Most Unusual Hoard by churkey (dragon!Stiles)

Stiles turns into a dragon and no one can figure out what he's hoarding…

My Childhood Spat Back Out The Monster That You See by rightsidethru (demon!Stiles)

Appearances can be deceiving.

Caught by hunters, Derek immediately dismisses his gangly, fellow prisoner as a pressing concern.

After all, the amber-eyed teenager couldn't be more than one hundred and forty-seven pounds soaking wet. What type of threat could he possibly be?

(The answer: a large one.)

9/10ths of the Law by tsukinofaerii (demon!Stiles)

Stiles discovers the hazards of growing up a real boy when, at heart, he's not a real boy at all.

You Were Never Meant to Know by Mooneye (demon!Stiles)

“Not a fan of exorcisms, Stiles?” the figure asked as though he were enquiring about the rain.

“Not really. I could spew black bile if you’d like more authenticity,” Stiles answered.

“Stiles, what’s going on?” Scott demanded, unease growing.

Stiles is a demon, always has been, and never intended for anyone to know. Unfortunately, his secret is forcefully revealed and he has nowhere to hide.

Blodrød by Onlymystory (demon!Stiles)

A demon possessing Alpha werewolves leads a crazed pack to Beacon Hills. He's been stuck inside werewolf minds, when all he wants is a nice human meatsuit. Humans in packs are rare these days and the demon is practically salivating at the thought of possessing Stiles. It's strong, and the pack was taken off guard, unable to protect Stiles before the demon takes control.

But like the demon says…humans in packs are rare.

Blackbird by skoosiepants (shapeshifter!Stiles)

Stiles groans and drops his face into his hands. “I’m seventeen, I can kind of use mountain ash and I can explode houses when I’m mad enough. How am I gonna win any kind of magic fight?”

“We’ll work on it,” Deaton says, as infuriatingly calm as ever. “The important thing to remember, Stiles, is that when everything else is chaos, you’re the port in the storm.”

Or-

Laura Hale never died, and Stiles is magic.

Other fic recs: pack mom!Stiles | angsty fics | historical AU | baby/mpreg | outsider POV | possessive Derek | smut | hurt/comfort | Stiles gets kicked out of the pack | mafia | BAMF!Stiles | omegaverse | witch!Stiles | bad friend Scott | magical!Stiles | unrequited love

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The tax sharks are back and they’re coming for your home

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TODAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

One of my weirder and more rewarding hobbies is collecting definitions of "conservativism," and one of the jewels of that collection comes from Corey Robin's must-read book The Reactionary Mind:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Reactionary_Mind

Robin's definition of conservativism has enormous explanatory power and I'm always finding fresh ways in which it clarifies my understand of events in the world: a conservative is someone who believes that a minority of people were born to rule, and that everyone else was born to follow their rules, and that the world is in harmony when the born rulers are in charge.

This definition unifies the otherwise very odd grab-bag of ideologies that we identify with conservativism: a Christian Dominionist believes in the rule of Christians over others; a "men's rights advocate" thinks men should rule over women; a US imperialist thinks America should rule over the world; a white nationalist thinks white people should rule over racialized people; a libertarian believes in bosses dominating workers and a Hindu nationalist believes in Hindu domination over Muslims.

These people all disagree about who should be in charge, but they all agree that some people are ordained to rule, and that any "artificial" attempt to overturn the "natural" order throws society into chaos. This is the entire basis of the panic over DEI, and the brainless reflex to blame the Francis Scott Key bridge disaster on the possibility that someone had been unjustly promoted to ship's captain due to their membership in a disfavored racial group or gender.

This definition is also useful because it cleanly cleaves progressives from conservatives. If conservatives think there's a natural order in which the few dominate the many, progressivism is a belief in pluralism and inclusion, the idea that disparate perspectives and experiences all have something to contribute to society. Progressives see a world in which only a small number of people rise to public life, rarified professions, and cultural prominence and assume that this is terrible waste of the talents and contributions of people whose accidents of birth keep them from participating in the same way.

This is why progressives are committed to class mobility, broad access to education, and active programs to bring traditionally underrepresented groups into arenas that once excluded them. The "some are born to rule, and most to be ruled over" conservative credo rejects this as not just wrong, but dangerous, the kind of thing that leads to bridges being demolished by cargo ships.

The progressive reforms from the New Deal until the Reagan revolution were a series of efforts to broaden participation in every part of society by successively broader groups of people. A movement that started with inclusive housing and education for white men and votes for white women grew to encompass universal suffrage, racial struggles for equality, workplace protections for a widening group of people, rights for people with disabilities, truth and reconciliation with indigenous people and so on.

The conservative project of the past 40 years has been to reverse this: to return the great majority of us to the status of desperate, forelock-tugging plebs who know our places. Hence the return of child labor, the tradwife movement, and of course the attacks on labor unions and voting rights:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/06/the-end-of-the-road-to-serfdom/

Arguably the most potent symbol of this struggle is the fight over homes. The New Deal offered (some) working people a twofold path to prosperity: subsidized home-ownership and strong labor protections. This insulated (mostly white) workers from the two most potent threats to working peoples' lives and wellbeing: the cruel boss and the greedy landlord.

But the neoliberal era dispensed with labor rights, leaving the descendants of those lucky workers with just one tool for securing their American dream: home-ownership. As wages stagnated, your home – so essential to your ability to simply live – became your most important asset first, and a home second. So long as property values rose – and property taxes didn't – your home could be the backstop for debt-fueled consumption that filled the gap left by stagnating wages. Liquidating your family home might someday provide for your retirement, your kids' college loans and your emergency medical bills.

For conservatives who want to restore Gilded Age class rule, this was a very canny move. It pitted lucky workers with homes against their unlucky brethren – the more housing supply there was, the less your house was worth. The more protections tenants had, the less your house was worth. The more equitably municipal services (like schools) were distributed, the less your house was worth:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/06/the-rents-too-damned-high/

And now that the long game is over, they're coming for your house. It started with the foreclosure epidemic after the 2008 financial crisis, first under GW Bush, but then in earnest under Obama, who accepted the advice of his Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, who insisted that homeowners should be liquidated to "foam the runways" for the crashing banks:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/06/personnel-are-policy/#janice-eberly

Then there are scams like "We Buy Ugly Houses," a nationwide mass-fraud outfit that steals houses out from under elderly, vulnerable and desperate people:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/11/ugly-houses-ugly-truth/#homevestor

The more we lose our houses, the more single-family homes Wall Street gets to snap up and convert into slum properties, aslosh with a toxic stew of black mold, junk fees and eviction threats:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/08/wall-street-landlords/#the-new-slumlords

Now there's a new way for finance barons the steal our houses out from under us – or rather, a very old way that had lain dormant since the last time child labor was legal – "tax lien investing."

Across the country, counties and cities have programs that allow investment funds to buy up overdue tax-bills from homeowners in financial hardship. These "investors" are entitled to be paid the missing property taxes, and if the homeowner can't afford to make that payment, the "investor" gets to kick them out of their homes and take possession of them, for a tiny fraction of their value.

As Andrew Kahrl writes for The American Prospect, tax lien investing was common in the 19th century, until the fundamental ugliness of the business made it unattractive even to the robber barons of the day:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-04-26-investing-in-distress-tax-liens/

The "tax sharks" of Chicago and New York were deemed "too merciless" by their peers. One exec who got out of the business compared it to "picking pennies off a dead man’s eyes." The very idea of outsourcing municipal tax collection to merciless debt-hounds fell aroused public ire.

Today – as the conservative project to restore the "natural" order of the ruled and the ruled-over builds momentum – tax lien investing is attracting some of America's most rapacious investors – and they're making a killing. In Chicago, Alden Capital just spent a measly $1.75m to acquire the tax liens on 600 family homes in Cook County. They now get to charge escalating fees and penalties and usurious interest to those unlucky homeowners. Any homeowner that can't pay loses their home.

The first targets for tax-lien investing are the people who were the last people to benefit from the New Deal and its successors: Black and Latino families, elderly and disabled people and others who got the smallest share of America's experiment in shared prosperity are the first to lose the small slice of the American dream that they were grudgingly given.

This is the very definition of "structural racism." Redlining meant that families of color were shut out of the federal loan guarantees that benefited white workers. Rather than building intergenerational wealth, these families were forced to rent (building some other family's intergenerational wealth), and had a harder time saving for downpayments. That meant that they went into homeownership with "nontraditional" or "nonconforming" mortgages with higher interest rates and penalties, which made them more vulnerable to economic volatility, and thus more likely to fall behind on their taxes. Now that they're delinquent on their property taxes, they're in hock to a private equity fund that's charging them even more to live in their family home, and the second they fail to pay, they'll be evicted, rendered homeless and dispossessed of all the equity they built in their (former) home.

It's very on-brand for Alden Capital to be destroying the lives of Chicagoans. Alden is most notorious for buying up and destroying America's most beloved newspapers. It was Alden who bought up the Chicago Tribune, gutted its workforce, sold off its iconic downtown tower, and moved its few remaining reporters to an outer suburban, windowless brick building "the size of a Chipotle":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/16/sociopathic-monsters/#all-the-news-thats-fit-to-print

Before the ghastly hotel baroness Leona Helmsley went to prison for tax evasion, she famously said, "We don't pay taxes; only the little people pay taxes." Helmsley wasn't wrong – she was just a little ahead of schedule. As Propublica's IRS Files taught us, America's 400 richest people pay less tax than you do:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/13/for-the-little-people/#leona-helmsley-2022

When billionaires don't pay their taxes, they get to buy sports franchises. When poor people don't pay their taxes, billionaires get to steal their houses after paying the local government an insultingly small amount of money.

It's all going according to plan. We weren't meant to have houses, or job security, or retirement funds. We weren't meant to go to university, or even high school, and our kids were always supposed to be in harness at a local meat-packer or fast food kitchen, not wasting time with their high school chess club or sports team. They don't need high school: that's for the people who were born to rule. They – we – were meant to be ruled over.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/26/taxes-are-for-the-little-people/#alden-capital

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

Welcome to,

Life series, but they are all mermaids, and for some reason XB Crafted is here too

A ruddy stupid, random as shit mermaid AU

If you're wondering who is what, never fear for I am here! Here's a list!

Impulse is a Shark

Skizz is a Remora

Pearl is a deep sea fish (based on multiple fish found in the deep sea)

Gem is a Piranha

Lizzie is an axolotl

Joel is a betta

Tango is a Lemon Shark

Jimmy is a Cod

Scott is a Jellyfish

Cleo is a Zombie fish

Scar is a Catfish

Grian is a parrotfish

Martyn is a Lionfish

Ren is a Wolffish

BigB is a lantern fish

Etho is a leafy sea dragon

Bdubs is a pufferfish

Mumbo is an octopus

And after much convincing by my friend @lonleyzodiac , my friend convinced me to add XB as a Humuhumunukunukuapua'a, or the triggerfish. Yes I watched Octonauts as a kid, how can you tell?

Anyways, basic story time!

At an aquarium by the coast, there is a connecting facility that runs a Mermaid rescue, care and rehabilitation center, focused on giving mers a safe place to stay when they won't be able to survive in the wild or help nurse them back to healthy states so they can be released into the wild again.

Issue is that sometimes the mers can get a bit attatched to the humans and eachother so they refuse to leave.

All other Hermits, Empires members and even the yogcast lot work in the care center. Some of them work in the labs with medicines and understanding Mermaid biology, psychology and other -ologys. Meanwhile the others work with the mers in taking care of needs like food and environment. They also have an action squad who go out and perform actual rescues for mers who are in danger.

Some mers have permanent issues that mean they can't survive properly in the wild so they take up permanent residence. Some you can obviously see such as Mumbo and XB. Mumbo is missing a tentacle and XB lost half his tail. Others are there but harder to see such as Pearl's scars for her missing fins, and Scars scars for how hes constantly finding trouble, and Cleos damaged fins due to their frailty (this does not stop them being a sassy lil shit all the time, they do not care). And then there's Scott who has no sting in his stingers, Tango who has very poor eye sight and immune system, and Grian who was a mer raised out of the ocean and thusly has zero survival instincts.

The others are all there either because they got attatched to eachother or the humans. Some, like Impulse and Skizz, make up for this by actively helping out around the facility by finding other injured Mers outside who need help.

And then others aren't hurt or anything, just there because they already have a bond to other mers who were hurt. Joel is a special case as he is literally just there because he has fallen for Lizzie. Scott mentioned the concept of the word wife once and now it is Joel's favourite word.

And before I get any questions, yes Bdubs is a Mer. He looks like just a pufferfish, but he can speak very clear English.

Oh yeah. You can understand Mermaids when they are underwater, but above the water, they sound like they are talking gibberish. Fun thing is the mers can understand eachother above the surface, it's just humans who can't understand them.

[sun13koi]

Trans Goal Chain! Tags always open. Please read above cut.

THIS CAN BE ANYTHING- RELATED TO YOUR TRANSITIONING OR JUST NORMAL PARTS OF LIFE.

this is open to all parts of the community- trans fem, trans masc, nonbinary, anyone under the umbrella term!

I need some confidence and a reminder that there’s more of us out here than I can picture- and I think everyone needs some love and support, to show that they’ll get there one day. so! Reblog with a description/fantasy on where you want to be one day in your transitioning journey, or tiny steps you can take to get there!

I wanna move out with my boyfriend- I don’t think we know where, but maybe this one really pretty place about an hour away, full of gorgeous woods. I just wanna… exist. I wanna meet all my chosen online family one day too. But…. I don’t mind some simple domestic life. Just me and him minding our business, being stupid quirky idiots like usual, maybe with some cuddling and Scott Pilgriam.

but… that’s not gonna happen until at LEAST five more years. So until then…. I wanna go to high school together. I miss going to school with him. I wanna be able to cuddle in the library again, make sure he takes binder breaks, and maybe- Maybe even get my name officially changed in the system like his is. Maybe the whole school can see us as guys, even if it’s only at first glance. And- oh my gods I can’t wait to start T or even just blockers. I don’t want T shots, shots scare the shit out of me, but maybe T Cream! Yeah.

I’ll get there one day. Watch me.

@ms-macintosh @cordyline-uki @mushrooms-frogs-skulls-imlucas

@someone-kill-the-ej @matt-d-ratt

@l0gansab1tch @star-dust-shark

[megamindsupremacy]

Are you tired of this "gay representation" constantly being shoved at us in comics? Do you think your fave really could have stayed straight and there really was no need to make them queer? Do you HATE when the woke liberals take over our precious comic books with their woke liberal agendas?

Well good news: I have the ear of someone veeeery high up at DC comics, and they have told me that the winner of THIS poll will be put BACK in the closet this pride month!

So, I present to you, the product of an whole twenty minutes of hard work:

*disclaimer: this is a joke. im not actually homophobic. in the year of our lord 2024 on fandom tumblr? are you kidding me?

RULES:

Propaganda and voting bias is allowed and encouraged. Send me an ask with propaganda and I'll appendage it to the next post the character appears in

This poll is for the next STRAIGHT character. If a character is queer and you LIKE that and you want them to STAY that way then vote for ANOTHER GUY

however i highly encourage voting for the funniest character to make straight. that is subjective.

Polls will last a week, with a few days in between for complaining (/pos) + letting me make new posts

kill

This post will be pinned on my intro post! Also, if I make any mistakes in the polls, please tell me so I can fix it!

Tag used is #dc's next straight character

Poll typed out below, plus links to the posts to vote:

DC'S NEXT STRAIGHT CHARACTER: (aka, homophobia: the poll)

ROUND ONE:

Left side:

Jon Kent v Renee Montoya Nubia v Pamela Isley Harley Quinn v Jackson Hyde John Constantine v Midnighter

Right side:

Diana Prince v Kate Kane Selina Kyle v King Shark Alan Scott v Connor Hawke Tim Drake v Harley Rathaway

ROUND TWO:

Left side:

Jon Kent vs Nubia Jackson Hyde vs Midnighter

Right Side:

Diana Prince vs King Shark Alan Scott vs Tim Drake

[boat-of-losers]

What I Liked About Total Drama All Stars

Mike using a long stick to push himself to the Hotel and back

Lightning and Duncan having to pull Scott off of the rock in episode one

And being unsuccessful

✨Alejandro’s entrance✨

Lightning.

Why are there so many leeches this season? It’s like, a whole thing

“Back home we have a special way to cross these bridges” *proceeds to scream the entire way across*

The Heroic Hamsters domesticating Duncan

Aleheather.

Alejandro dunking on José

Duncan blowing up Chris’ mansion cottage

Cameron using Scott as bait for a shark based motor

*looking at a clod of dirt with big, sad eyes* “You’ll never cheat on me, will you?”

*Megaphone* “HEATHER?! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!”

“Anyone?” *drops her immediately*

[sherbertquake56]

So the C!Sherb playlist stream...

I know I literally just finished yelling about the playlist for 3 hours but I wanted to put out a lil smaller version hehe- so here are some of my top songs that I think are right on the nose...

Sharks by Imagine Dragons - [CORRUPTION ARC S1] I absolutely love this song for Ominous Bane messing with Athena, and just overall Athena's POV of the corruption arc. Favorite Line: "Take advantage of you niceness, cut you up in even slices"

The Main Character by Will Wood [PRISON ARC S2] This song is a perfect representation of Sherb's mental space after remembering in season 2. It's very "there are worse people than me, and therefore I can do no wrong! i can do anything and it will be good" and I eat it up-- Favorite Line: "Villians are everywhere, that's how I know that I'm the hero"

Moonsickness by Penelope Scott [END OF S2] For me, this is learning more about the wack and trying to fit into the role of Fable's child. It's the idea of trying so hard to bring back Haley and ending in just dead ends. Favorite Line: "But I make lemons out of lemonade..."

The Tornado by Owl City [UNLOCKED S3] The way I look at this song is that the weather and the storm is a metaphor for the wack. At the start, small changes are increasing leading to the wings shattering, and Fable finding them. (And then ya know the end section could totally by Icarus ascending hehehe) Favorite line: "But if I went home to heaven, at least that's where I'd belong"

Hero by Regina Spektor [CENTROSS DEATH S3] This song represents the direct spiraling after Centross fades away. Icarus is in shock and still processing what just happened (very poorly). Favorite Line: "I'm the hero of the story, don't need to be saved"

Solitary Confinement by Everybody's Worried About Owen [ISOLATION ARC S3] A representation of Icarus "being in too deep." it's the idea that just because they did choose this, that doesn't mean it's good for them. Favorite Line: "You cannot isolate me past the walls that I have built"

Ruin by The Amazing Devil [ICARIXIS ASCENSION S3] The female voice is Icarus, male voice is Midas. The song follows the full scene of Icarus entering the Worldport all the way until they are Quixis. (I absolutely love Midas's lines in this) Favorite Line: "Nothing quite prepares you for when they don't come back..."

Ghost Song by Ratwyfe [EPILOGUE] After ascending to quixis, this song is them being able to watch their world, but barely interact with it (like a ghost!). I have several songs with ghost imagery that I like for Icarixis but this one is by far the best. Favorite Line: "Trying to show the world I still exist..."

I love all of the songs on the playlist, but if you only listen to a few of them, make it these ones. I'll also drop the playlist link here (which you can find already on my youtube!)

...and if you made it this far I have a special treat for you! the link to my personal C!sherb playlist (not public)! theres some overlap but also some other ones :) my silly icarus playlist

[captain-flint]

U no like gladiator ii?

Why? 🥺

i am so sorry, anon, there was simply no way for me to like it as someone whose entire career and literal job is about understanding ancient roman history. unfortunately, they made ZERO effort at trying to make this movie seem even slightly authentic, and even though i went in expecting very little historical accuracy (big hollywood blockbuster movie by ridley scott, yes i know), the absurdity of it all had me scream laughing and pissed off to no end. not only was that entire movie an enormous, literal caricature of ancient rome and its people, it was also incredibly bad. i could've maybe forgiven the cgi baboons on steroids, killer rhinos and sharks in the amphiteatre, but the storyline genuinely lacking any depth with actors who were visibly struggling with delivering their lines that made them sound either pathetic or like they were in a low budget action movie were simply too much for me. the whole movie was an americanized idea of ancient rome told on screen. like it actually started to feel disrespectful at one point. it was a whole bunch of characters behaving like clowns trying to spin a story without a single meaningful thread and i simply hated it. gladiator 1 did a masterful job compared to this one. because it was so genuine and moving, any inauthenticity was easily overlooked. this movie tried to bank on the glory of its predecessor, but sadly it pales in comparison to the point i wouldn't even associate the two. i guess it's good if you want a mindless action movie with occasional pretty cinematography bc, in my opinion, that's about all it's got to offer 🤷‍♀️

[sageourplanetmeow]

FREE COMISSIONS

Ahem, so I have decided that in preparation for the possibility that I do commissions as part of a future job that I am going to practice doing that but for free. So the floor is open, go nuts with it! Basically go on the thing on my blog that says ‘Free Comissions’ and request something if you want.

It can be: a short comic, sketch or art piece and you can choose whether I do it on paper or digitally. For comics, there may be some possibility that I make an animatic but it would have to be relatively simple since I am still not that good at that. Practice would be nice though :>

!PLEASE DON’T REPOST THEM WITHOUT PERMISSION ONCE I’VE MADE THEM!!! AND REMEMBER EVEN IF YOU ASK I MIGHT NOT GIVE PERMISSION SO DON’T BE HOPEFUL!

!YOU CAN PRINT THEM OUT!

!YOU CAN’T REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION OR CREDITS!

!DON’T EXPECT THEM TO BE TOO GOOD!

!I’M NOT THAT EXPERIENCED!

!IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME FOR STUFF TO COME OUT CUS I’M BUSY!

Stuff I Would NOT Like To Do:

NSFW

Revealing outfits

Right wing propaganda

Discriminatory/offensive content

Heavy HEAVY gore

Smut

18+

Pedophilia

Zoophilia

x… I don’t know how to say it but you know x reader but it’s in art

Things I Would Prefer To Do:

Hazbin Hotel

Arcane

Lego Monkey Kid

VAT7K

Tangled The Series

Helluva Boss

The Owl House

MLP Gen 4 (preferably as humans but I’ll take a swing at their pony forms even if it’s difficult)

The Ghost And Molly McGee

The Amazing Digital Circus

Carmen Sandiego

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (the mutes would be difficult to draw especially Scarlamagne but I’d still be cool with trying)

Octonauts/Octonauts: Above & Beyond

Ducktales (either ducks or human versions would be fine)

Sophia The First (sue me Cedric is great)

Secret Life Of Boys (It’s a BBC thing)

Wallace and Gromit (it would have to be comical though because I don’t know how easy angst would be to draw)

The Emperors New Groove

Ramshackle

Lackadaisy

Steven Universe

Heartstopper

Dodger (the BBC series)

Hercules (Disney)

DC Superhero Girls (preferably the newer ones)

Thunderbirds (1960, I mean they’re puppets so it would be hard but I like them so)

Sherlock Holmes (black and white one or the BBC series)

Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I find them hard to draw but I love Donatello so I would do my best)

Moral Orel (I haven’t drawn anyone from there yet so it might take some experimenting but again this would be cool to do)

Murder Most Unladylike

Greek Myths

Picture Of Dorian Grey

Hermitcraft

Empires SMP

FNAF Security Breach (preferably Sun and Moon)

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

Tangled The Series

Disney Movies I dunno

Circe (by Madeline Miller) and the Odyssey

The Wizard Of Ozz

Cats (animals)

Sharks (less easy)

Mushrooms

Minecraft Buildings but drawn

Your OCs

My OCs

Self-Inserts

Redesigns

Designs for certain concepts

Ships

Fanart

Fluff

Angst

Fanart of fan fictions/covers/illustrations for them (they might not be a consistent thing)

[zinthelost]

The Wellness-Check

So after being drug into this ship entirely against my will, I've finally wrote something after 2 years. I guess it's working out for me, then. So here's a ficlet or a vignette or a wip, I dunno. There is a longer story attached to this in this in my head, but I thought this scene would make a good stand alone. (There's no AO3 entry for this.)

This fic pretends that TDP didn't happen cus that's the world I choose to live in. So the timeline is still progressing to the future we saw in DoFP.

-

“Professor?” Jubilee called as she knocked on his door.

“I don’t think we should bothering him. Either of them,” Kurt put in from the back of the small group in the hallway. “Dr. McCoy said not to-”

“We’re not kids anymore Kurt,” Scott cut in. “Hank might think we are but we’re instructors now. Someone should check on the Professor. Someone other than Magneto. Who might be injured too, right? After that, whatever. That was serious.”

“And the Professor has me completely blocked from his rooms,” Jean added in. “He’s never been so firm about his shields with me.”

“Professor?” Jubilee called again and a projection of the Professor appeared standing beside the door.

“Thank you, Ms Lee. I heard you the first time and I assure you all I am fine, as is Mr. Lehnsherr. You should be focusing on your own classes right now. After last night’s unpleasantness, normalcy will be good for the children. Only my own classes need canceled.”

“If you're fine then why cancel at all? And why not actually come to the door?” Scott asked and turned to glare at the door, as if daring it to open.

“Because I am occupied at the moment and there is no need for me to come to the door,” he replied simply and made to wave them off. “I made my announcement about my classes and I’m telling you now. I’m fine. Go about your day. Thank you for your concern.”

“If you’re hurt from that-”

“I am not, Ms. Gray.”

“It’s just that you’re being really cagey and-” Jubilee started but stopped as footsteps could be heard approaching the other side of the door.

“Well, this is one way to solve the problem…” Charles mumbled, looking exasperated.

The self-appointed wellness-check team stepped back as the door swung open to show... Magneto. In his boxer briefs and nothing else. He positioned himself firmly in the doorway, leaning against it casually. In one motion he effectively blocked them and laid claim to the rooms within and their contents. “How many times does it need to be stated? He’s occupied. And I intend for him to be so for the foreseeable future. Or until we’re both hungry,” he added with a shark's grin. 

“As I said,” Xavier repeated before letting his projection blink out. “Everything is fine.”

“Fine? Just fine?” Magneto asked slyly over his shoulder as he closed the door. “Not the word I’d use,” he growled playfully.

“Erik!” they distantly heard the Professor laughingly admonish through the door as Magneto’s footsteps stalked away back into the rooms.

The small cluster at the door stood there a moment. And a moment more. Before Kurt said weakly. “Oh mein Gott…”

“Well!” Jubilee added with an evil, joyous grin.

“...That would explain the shielding against me.” Jean said as they finally started back down the hallway.

“Hey, Scott. Remember way back when we were all so surprised that the Professor welcomed Magneto to stay at the school for a bit right after that crap with Nurr?” Jubilee chirped.

“Please don’t…”

“And we did not understand why he was so pleased to have him stay here for the Genosha talks?” Kurt tossed in.

Scott groaned.

“And then when he showed up to stay and help with the school and the Professor let him have free reign and we thought that was a stretch given the whole ‘dropped a stadium around the white house’ incident? But her just never left and the Professor was so happy to have him around?” Jean added, knocking in that last nail.

“I think we know why now.” Jubilee said in a sing-song voice, absolutely giddy with this new gossip.

Scott “we’re not kids anymore” Summers just covered his head, making the noise of a dying animal.

“And did you see him?!” she continued, ignoring her suffering teammate. “He’s like fifty, right?”

“I didn’t know a fifty year old guy could look like that. That was…” Jean agreed.

“Totally.”

“Oh come on!” Scott chimed in, breaking free of his torment in the face of this injustice. “He wasn’t that- I mean, he’s old.”

“And tight.” Jubilee couldn’t be deterred. “No wonder all those international incidents could be so easily forgiven. Well done, Professor. That’s a score.”

“This was such a mistake. Why do I ever listen to you all?” Kurt said as they stepped into the kitchen. “We’re back Dr. McCoy and-”

“Oh my God, McCoy! You would not believe what… we just…” even Jubilee’s happy announcement of juicy gossip dwindled out to nothing as they entered the room. At the island Dr. McCoy was quite focused on pouring himself a very tall glass of gin. At 10 am. 

“Um…” 

He said nothing nor acknowledged them as he screwed the cap on and set the bottle down. He then grabbed his glass and turned to leave with it but appeared to think better before turning back to snatch the bottle as well. Both in hand, he walked out without a word.

Jubilee leaned towards the others and loudly “whispered” to the others, “I think he knows.”

“Knows what?” Peter asked zipping in to the fridge and then popping back into vision here and there as he assembled a few sandwiches. 

“The Professor is getting it with Magneto!” Jubilee announced, all her enthusiasm returned.

Shockingly, Peter actually stood still for two whole seconds at that news before shaking his head. “Nope. That’s enough of that conversation.” And then he was gone with his sandwiches, though the bread and everything else was abandoned in his wake.

“Oh not cool… What, is it our job to clean this up? Jerk.”

[rabidaly]

Ok one more update from a shark in the water? Please???

Here’s the first 1k(roughly)! Keep in mind I haven’t edited and I had like. A three-month long writers block for this fic so I’m not super attached/happy with this intro— it may change when I go back next weekend!

Hopefully it’s enough to wet your appetite tho ;)

—

Stiles had friends.

Lydia was his friend. Erica. Danny and Kira danced the line between acquaintance and actual friendship, but gun to his head, Stiles would count them as the latter. And Scott. God knows they'd been inseperable for over a decade.

It's just—

Stiles didn’t text his friends the way he texted Derek.

Or as often.

It wasn’t anything serious. Just lots of little, trivial things: pictures here and there, Stiles blinking doe eyes at the camera, biting his lip. He texted Derek about his annoying professor, the chronological order of the Marvel movies, his attempts at latte foam art. Stiles rambled and vented and altogether talked too much, but—

Derek always answered.

Even if it was a simple, one-word reply. Even if sometimes it took a couple hours. Stiles wasn’t sure he’d have been able to stop even if he didn’t; every little thing that popped into his head came with the companion thought of, oh! I wonder what Derek would think about this!

ive never seen you play a video game, he texted on Thursday evening.

I don’t. What are you playing?

COD

with scott

R u home?

At the gym.

Stiles had figured as much, but he still caught himself sighing. They were in the Hale-McCall living room, playing on Scott’s family Xbox, both sore and tired from their shifts at work. From his spot on the couch, Stiles could hear Peter humming in the kitchen, most likely prepping for dinner. Melissa was still at work.

And Derek was at the gym. Snooze.

how much can u lift? Stiles texted, before his character on screen ran into a wall and he had to put his phone down. Scott side-eyed him, hard.

Stiles caught the tail-end of Scott taking incoming fire before his phone buzzed again. He looked back down.

I can lift double your weight, easy, Derek had typed, cutting to the heart of the matter.

Stiles pinkened.

for how long?

For as long as it takes. Derek replied. it’s your endurance we need to work on, if anything.

Stiles could taste the sharp edge of Derek’s condescension on his tongue. Something inside him went molten-hot, liquified, like the liquid wax of a burning candle.

maybe you should take me to the gym with you, he typed, squirming at just the thought of it. Derek all sweaty, the graceful arch of spine, muscles flexing as he lifts himself. we could be workout buddies.

Would you wear leggings?

Stiles readjusted on the couch, his leg coming up against his chest.

in public? no.

but I could sit on you.

on your back. while you do push ups

A bit too daring. Stiles bit his lip when Derek didn’t respond. He focused back on the game, hoping to distract himself.

It didn’t help much.

Scott huffed, throwing down his remote when they both died.

“What is with you, man?”

“What do you mean?” Stiles said, peeking at his phone again. No new messages.

“I mean, you’re not even watching where you’re going. You just got us both killed!”

”I’m just—“ Stiles felt unreasonably grumpy. “Bored. Can’t we play something else?”

“Like what?”

Like Mario Kart, per Stiles’ suggestion. The best part about Mario Kart was that Scott was—

“Awful, man. Just terrible,” Stiles laughed as Scott swerved off the road, twisting his remote uselessly, as if that were going to do anything while he wasn’t holding down the gas. “Honestly, it’s embarrassing to watch. You should just stop. You’re bringing shame to your family name.”

“I used to beat you at every game!”

“Yeah, in like seventh grade.” Stiles shook his head. “How’s it feel, Scott? To have peaked in middle school?”

“I haven’t peaked, I’m just—“ Scott threw down the controller as the track completed, screen flashing the stats. Scott in tenth place, Stiles in first. Just like the last time. And the time before that. “Out of practice. God, screw this. I want to play Skyrim.”

“Skyrim is god-awful on the Switch.”

“Well, then, I’ll bring the PS4 down here.”

“But it’s single player,” Stiles scrunched up his nose. “I’m not going to just sit here like your girlfriend and pretend watching you play video games is interesting.”

Scott looked offended. “Allison isn’t pretending. She said she loves watching me play.”

Right.

“Sure she does.” Stiles rolled his eyes. "We can just put on a horror movie or something, play fuck, marry, kill." A weird little tradition of theirs, any time they break out the b-rate horror films.

"Which one do you wanna watch?"

Stiles shrugged, "You pick."

He checked his phone again. Sighed for the millionth time.

Scott noticed.

“Who are you texting?”

Fuck.

”No one important,” Stiles said quickly, and put his phone face down on the side table.

Scott stared at it. “Is that a new phone?”

”What? No.”

”It’s pink," Scott pointed out. "Your phone's not pink.”

Stiles really needed to get a case for the thing. “Okay,” he conceded. “It’s a new phone. I splurged.”

The reaction was immediate.

”Stiles! We’re supposed to be saving up for an apartment!” Scott shook his head. “You’ve got to stop spending money, dude.”

Scott was definitely right about that. Stiles might not have bought the phone, but he'd hardly saved a dime since he’d started his job. He’d been too busy buying— well. You know.

As if summoned by the thought of his underwear alone, Stiles' phone (finally, finally) buzzed. Stiles had moved before his brain had fully processed the sound, snatching his phone up from the table on reflex.

Stay put. I’ll be there in 10.

Stiles’ cheeks darkened to a fire-engine red. Uh-oh.

[backlogbooks]

Backlogbooks Bingo Challenge - Horror Recommendations (part 1)

To the surprise of no one, I'm starting off my challenge recommendations with horror! I'm getting the publication dates off of storygraph, so if I'm wrong, I take no responsibility <3

60s

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson -- Shirley Jackson! The queen! This one is such a combination of horror and humor and then horror again, about two sisters who live alone, ostracized by their town because of their family's dark past.

70s

Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon -- A very creepy folk horror novel about a family who leaves The City to come to a Small Town in new england, getting Close to Nature. Naturally, the townspeople have some dark secrets. I loved the atmosphere in this one--the slow building of dread, and trying to piece together exactly what the Dark Secret at the center of the harvest home festival is.

Jaws by Peter Benchley -- Okay, I don't know if I can actually recommend this, because to be honest with you, the movie is so much better. But also, if you're a shark movie fiend, this is a Piece Of History. Feel free to reply and argue with me if you love this book!

Carrie by Stephen King -- This book is about Carrie, a perpetually bullied girl who has the chance to go to the prom. I'm sure you know how it goes from there--but even if you do, I recommend reading the book. It's a heartbreaking horror novel, and I really enjoyed (slash hated) the way the tension mounts as you get closer and closer to The Bad Thing

The Shining by Stephen King -- Jack Torrance has a big new job as the caretaker at the Overlook Hotel during the off-season, and there's some evil afoot! Again, I feel like you know how it goes from there, but King is really so good at building dread and tension.

80s

A Nest of Nightmares by Lisa Tuttle -- Recently rereleased in the Paperbacks from Hell line, this is a collection of horror short stories that mostly center on women, with horrors both mundane and paranormal (but an emphasis on the paranormal). These stories were so creepy to me, and I really enjoyed the way that mood built. TW for rape (I can tell you which story for sure if you want! I'll just need to double check my copy to make sure I'm not misremembering)

Misery by Stephen King - He's back again! This is actually my favorite Stephen King novel (setting aside the dark tower series to make it a fair fight). Paul Sheldon, a bestselling novelist, is taken captive by his biggest fan, Annie Wilkes. Annie is like, my favorite villain I think. I've been wanting to reread this book for years because of her <3

2000

House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski -- Okay recommending this book does feel a little like trying to trap someone, but I love it. So! Will Navidson's house is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside; Johnny Truant is obsessed with a book by a blind man about a film that Navidson made that doesn't exist; everyone is lost in the labyrinth, including you. Please join me in this bonkers book. Conspiracy board supplies are not included, but you're encouraged to gather them up yourself as you go.

Uzumaki by Junji Ito -- Kurouzu-cho, a small fogbound town on the coast of Japan, is haunted by spirals. This is not as metaphorical as I imagined it would be when I first picked it up! The body horror in this book is insanely good, and there are some lines/images that are going to live in my head Forever. Highly recommend if you like horror manga.

2003

Come Closer by Sara Gran -- This is a fantastic possession book--it keeps you right in her point of view as she spirals down, trying to figure out if she is in fact possessed or if there's some other break with reality. I loved the "are you possessed" quiz as a guiding structure.

2006

The Ruins by Scott Smith -- Trapped in the jungle, far from home and with no way to get help, a group of friends face an inhuman horror. This had some of the most skin crawling body horror I've seen, and I loved the development of the antagonist (don't wanna say more because spoilers!). Great survival horror. What a terrible group of people to be trapped with.

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks -- If you love yourself some worldbuilding and zombies, check out this book! World War Z gives you vignettes about different areas of the world, and different aspects of life during a zombie apocalypse. It was a slow read for me, but I really enjoyed the details.

2007

Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill -- An old rock star buys a ghost online, because he's a dumbass (aka because he "has a thing for the macabre"), and has to go through hell to get rid of it. It's been years, but I remember being deeply creeped out by this book!

2010

Feed by Mira Grant -- More zombies! This one set twenty years after the zombie apocalypse, following two bloggers who are working to uncover a conspiracy behind the Infected. This had political thriller vibes mixed in with the horror, which kept a fast pace, and I loved the main characters. Eventually I may even finish the series!

2011

The Ritual by Adam Nevill -- Four old friends try to push aside old and new tensions for a reunion hiking trip. Since that's not working, they try to take a shortcut and end up very, very lost--and very deep in woods that have more than just animals to worry about. I held my breath through a lot of the first half of this book. Good for folk horror fans or people who want to be very afraid of every forest they walk into.

2013

Dark Tales by Shirley Jackson -- Shirley Jackson again! This one is a collection of short stories, including "The Summer People" and "Louisa, Please Come Home," which are some of my favorites. Creeping dread, domestic horror, and the question of what happens when your life takes a sudden, unexplainable turn. Definitely recommend the edition with an introduction by Ottessa Moshfegh!

2014

Through the Woods by E.M. Carroll -- A collection of short horror comics, with dark fairy tale vibes. I want to eat E.M. Carroll's art style, or at least cover my house with prints from this book.

Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix -- Have you ever had a nightmare about being trapped in an ikea? Or, sorry, Definitely Not Ikea (So We Don't Get Sued)? Are you tired of your retail job? This is the book for you! Haunted ikea: much more terrifying than I expected it to be.

The Grownup by Gillian Flynn -- This is a quick, 64 page story about a young woman who pretends to be a psychic to get by, and ends up being pulled deeper and deeper into a family's dysfunction when she promises to help rid their home of ghosts or other powerful forces.

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer -- Horror science fiction about Area X, an unexplained phenomenon where earth is returning to "pristine nature" with a horrific twist (or many of them). Our main character, the biologist, is one of my favorite characters I've ever read. I'm actually a little insane about her. Join me!

This is really long so I'm splitting it in two! Stay tuned for 2015-2019 recommendations next week :-)

And please recommend your favorite horror books for this challenge too!