#score: 4-

[misireads]

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

[ physical book, read in finnish & english ]

the story of a man who starts off as stale as if the colour beige was a human. he's a diligent office worker in a government department that evaluates orphanages for magical children. he's so good at making bland, objective reports that the stuck-up management of the department decides to send him to an orphanage for particularly troublesome monster children, hidden away on a remote island in the middle of nowhere. the man takes a train there, fearing for his life because he's pre-emptively so scared of these children. on the island, he befriends the children and learns that he's been living a stupid, prejudiced, boring life with no colour in it whatsoever all this time. also he falls for the leader of the orphanage and they have a gay little romance.

➕ obvious first things first. this is a gay love story, i'm all for it. a really soft and sort of mundane one about two middle-aged men too, where them being gay isn't a big deal, actually it's probably the smallest deal of them all. lol the romance was incredibly cheesy but you never see THAT in literature

➕ it's a hearty story about prejudice and acceptance. magical beings in this world are so viscerally hated that nobody cares about your sexual orientation or skin colour, but if you're a dragon or some shit then YUCK! EW! STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILDREN YOU HEATHEN! it's kind of amazing. this is also completely void of any mention of religion which i enjoyed. all the bigoted hate and prejudice in the entire universe is truly just packed into there existing magical people in this book. i personally felt it first and foremost symbolised the lack of empathy for people with disabilities (both physical and mental) because there are so many nudges towards that, but it's probably just in general also. angry goodreads reviews are saying it's a very poorly executed nudge towards native americans actually but i'll run with my own interpretation anyway

➕ hands down my favourite thing in the entire book is lucy. he's the reason i originally kept reading at all because i was so enamored by a little 6yo satan. i could have read a whole book just about him really.

➖ well this is a tough one to review. basically what happened was that i took the finnish translation from the library. and i kind of fucking hated it. it's a very literal-feeling translation, a lot of the dialogue is so stiff you barely understand what the characters are sometimes talking about, the language felt very infantile. i don't think the magical creature translations really work. they turned talia into a goblin instead of a gnome, that's a whole fucking different creature? there are just many many things i don't like about it. then i suddenly had to return the book to the library so i put a reservation on the original english one, thinking if i'm gonna finish this, it has to be in english. so i got that one and had no issues with the language or anything else whatsoever. i should definitely have read in english from the beginning. i didn't return it to the library yet so i might go back to the beginning and revisit some of the scenes in english to actually understand what happened

➖ this is like.. well it's not a very small children's book, and not exactly for teenagers either because the contents are so softcore, i feel. it's either for rather childish adults or for pre-teen children, maybe. edit: actually i don't see anyone call this a children's book online, just "YA" which it fucking isn't. much confusion. are you telling me this nonsense is a book for adults. either way, although the message is very good and all, the whole book is hopelessly childish in a way that made me feel like it didn't need to be. it's just a bit too simplistic at times, like helen's character, she does a 360 in a matter of a couple of lines with very little basis. idk how to well put it, maybe that it felt like there's ingredients for more here and that the characters are built in such a way that they could have been so much more if only the book took itself more seriously and went deeper at all instead of staying so surface level and turning everything into a joke. the entire plotline was also very predictable, basically you can tell what happens as soon as linus it sent to the island and that doesn't make a very exciting book to get through.

➖ i hated linus so fucking much in the early chapters lmao i get it that it's all about his growth but man. the premise of his character is that he's excellent at his job, very good at being objective, does his background work super well. then he goes to this island job and is immediately mad prejudiced (although working with magical kids is literally his job, this job he's supposedly so good at, but now he suddenly can't take them anymore), proceeds to not even read the files of the children. he goes to this orphanage that HE KNOWS from THE INFORMATION HE GOT has been as it is for some time, and the first thing he does is hate all the children on sight and decides that lucy will kill everyone in the house any minute now and he's the only force stopping him. although he knows perfectly well from the beginning that lucy has been living with the other kids all this time already without anyone dying. the only difference is that he's there now so why would lucy suddenly blow the place up (other than to kill linus because he's so insufferable, which would have been 100% fair). it was so nonsensical, it felt like the story was just made up on the go without any thought put into if it makes any sense how linus is reacting to things. actually i just hate reactionary characters in general like stop being a fuckign buffoon imbecile and use that brain of yours that's so big. he's literally even complaining about his fucking cat all the time, jesus christ let her be a cat. is it supposed to be funny? then mark down the humour as another minus because it's not

➖ i seem to be the only person on earth who thinks this (edit: goodreads says i am not, in fact) but i wasn't that big a fan of how hard this kept hammering in the EVERYONE!!SHOULD!!BE!!ACCEPTED!!! message, i prefer subtler ways of storytelling tbh not every single scene needs to be about this.

➖ the world building could have had a bit more substance. not much was said about the system of magic existing in this universe so it was all a bit vague.

⭐ score: 4- -- a lot of negative thoughts again but overall i rather liked this, despite my ranting (and being shocked that this isn't for children). i guess something about this touched me deeper than i realised because i was AGAIN crying at the end. what's with me crying at the end of books these days??? what's happened to me. i don't cry at things. i'm probably ill and should call in sick to work

[yippee-optimistically]

ii think i have . a crush. but u know i had to redraw tha panic attack scene 🗣️🗣️🗣️

+joy bc she is cute! and the og sketch for one of them bc shes so funny 2 me

inside out 2 was soo good i have a crush on maya hawke i thinkg

[seasononesam]

😭😭😭 I know sam was MAD

[formulanni]

Dear lord please double Logan Sargeant’s misfortune and give it to the British this weekend 🧎‍♀️

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time

[slickricklj]

Resident Evil 4 Remake: The Mercenaries - Special Victory Poses

[wileys-russo]

good afternoon to everyone who celebrates victory

[skruttet]

them using snufkin's theme for the joxter is the best decision and also makes me want to lie on the ground and cry for the rest of time

[hypogryffin]

just a kuma kinda mooda

[intriga-hounds]

the sauce is finally getting some appetite back…i’ve been feeding her primarily burger patties the past several days just to get calories in her, but today she finally chowed down on some puppy kibble and a can of wet food. i think i managed to get about 700 calories into her today, when it’s been a struggle to get her to do anything over 200 since day 21. by day 32 she was a pound lighter than she was the day she was bred—despite being pregnant. today is day 38 and the puppies should start growing rapidly now, so they need lots of fuel. relieved that we finally seem to be getting out of this morning sickness funk.

[crimescrimson]

Ada Wong & Leon S. Kennedy: Original Vs Remake Volume Two [Reunion | Boat Ride | Captured | Nothing Personal | Seperate Ways]

[misireads]

The Ruins by Scott Smith

[physical book, read in english]

a group of young adults on a vacation in mexico decide to go on an adventure to find their new german friend's missing brother and follow his message to a remote town inhabited by a community of mayans. from there, they follow the leads to the jungle where they find themselves stranded on a vine-covered hill that the natives won't let them leave anymore. after realising that they're stuck there, the group starts to prepare for long-term survival on the hill.

➕ i really like the structure of this book, the way there are no chapters so it all feels like one breathless marathon. the POV keeps jumping between the four american characters, seamlessly continuing the story from the perspective of each in turns. it's very well weaved together.

➕ especially the beginning is so delightfully ominous and builds up the tension very well. there's the innate horror of the constant heat, the jungle, travelling further and further away from safety against their better judgment, a town full of people who don't speak your language, tick-covered dogs whose shit is full of maggots. i'd argue this was the scarier part of the book, really, though i did enjoy the rest as well. then, once the characters are stuck on the hill, the way the situation just gets worse and worse no matter what they do or don't do. it all starts off so innocuous and keeps going wrong like a slowly progressing trainwreck.

➕ this belongs to the genre that i call the until dawn-esque horror and i very much love it. the characters are college students, especially the americans are so incredibly cringe and annoying or stupid or both. some people criticise that they can't enjoy a story if the characters aren't likable and relatable but i'm the opposite, when we're talking about horror where the characters are all doomed to be horribly tortured and probably eventually killed, the more annoying they are the better. but even then, i wouldn't say they're entirely unlikable. the way they try so hard to survive but nothing works made me feel pretty bad for the characters, even if they were stupid af most of the time. [spoiler] why didn't they just set the vines on fire if they had matches on them at all times like seriously

➕ LOVED the very end, the last paragraphs. [spoiler] not just the sense of the circle starting all over again but the fact that the greeks would have come in a couple more days but these stupid shits got themselves killed. love the sting of it

➖ we're always teetering on the edge of racism when the concept of a horror piece is Ooh Spooky Weird Exotic Native Americans (or an equivalent from other continents) Who Are Utterly Incomprehensible And Cryptic And Have Spooky Scary Native American Habits And Ritual Sites. wooo rural mexico, much spook, look how poor and savage they are and how they're not like us civilised white people at all, woah. like literally the mayans in this story are murderers. it makes sense in the context of the story and it's like, entirely the dumbass white kids' fault for going further and further, but context will not erase racism.

➖ this maybe dragged on a bit too long. after the promising beginning and the horrific shaft episode, things kinda slow down and get less interesting. especially [spoiler] once it's made explicit that all the horror is caused by the vines. but i did like how eric's character arc went down, his demise was so fucking gruesome, 10/10

➖ i found out after i finished reading that there's a movie made of this (and the trailer looks like horseshit) and after seeing that i went like yeah… this did feel like a book written so it could be made into a movie. although i liked it, and i haven't really read books of this format, it's obviously the horror teen flick pattern here.

⭐ score: 4- -- overall i enjoyed this, and especially the beginning was genuinely creepy with a great atmosphere. i would have preferred if the whole story had stayed more like that, where the horror is something very real and tangible, not [spoilers] spooky magical vines that can talk, i could have lived without the supernatural elements introduced here. even worse, the movie trailer talks about wow woah a sacrifice site of the native americans yeah ok i'm glad you left that out in the original, scott

[zer0pm]

Imagine Luis at a loss when you get back at him for every time he’s made you blush.

Response to @lilchickie’s genius request with a little twist :3 a flustered husband you shall have

He warns, “This might hurt a little.”

“Promises, promises.”

A deep chuckle followed by a comforting squeeze…

And he gently pushes in.

You wince upon the intrusion as the needle pierces your skin. Cool liquid pours into your veins, feeling like a breeze washing over you. Luis is mindful as he pulls the needle out and bandages your arm. Once he finishes, you give him a curt thanks and roll down your sleeve.

“Good news, that should prevent most plaga eggs from entering your system.” he explained clinically, throwing away the used items into an empty oil barrel nearby before returning his attention wholly to you. “The bad news, this is only a temporary solution and will do nothing against direct contact from stronger variants.”

“So basically, don’t start kissing any locals,” you remark in jest. “Got it.”

The man winks playfully, “Well- Unless it’s me, of course.”

You cheeks burn red. There he goes again.

The man is a serial flirt. You’ve known that since the moment you met him and he candidly asked you for a smoke. Confirmed when you said that you didn’t and he proceeded to ask for your number. You didn’t mind this, of course. Luis Serra was ruggedly handsome and possessed a witty charm that effortlessly drew you in like a magnet. However, as sexually charismatic as he made himself appear, Luis was above all a gentleman that never pushes the envelope in his advances. At worst, he leaves you a flustered mess with no say in the matter. As he’s currently doing now…

Taking your silence as a sign that he won over you yet again, Luis begins to back away from your seated form. He doesn’t go very far, however, as he’s stopped by deft fingers clutching at him by the zipper of his leather jacket. The Spaniard glances at you with mild curiosity.

No way you’re going to let him get away with it this time. You meet his questioning gaze, a coy grin tugged at the end of your lips.

“I might just take you up on that… Dr. Serra.”

His eyes widen at your words and the suggestive undertone within them, mouth hanging open but no words come out. You steal this opportunity to pull him closer to you and was met with no resistance. Bringing him into your space until he was caged between your legs, you use your other hand to toy with the lapel of his jacket. Again he says nothing, eyes following your hands intently.

“What’s the matter, Luis?” you drawl coquettishly. “Plaga got your tongue?”

Your question hardly brings him back to his senses, heart pumping and mind racing so heavily that all he managed was a simple-

“¿Qué?”

Got him.

“What was that?” you feign deafness. “You’re going to have to come closer. Can barely hear you.”

Your mischievous hand leaves the flap to slowly glide up his chest, deliberately feeling along the strong muscle hiding beneath the finely stitched patterns. You can practically feel the man purr under your touch and nearly laugh when he tried to disguise it by clearing his throat.

Eventually, your hand reaches his shoulder. A suggestive squeeze and Luis leans toward you like a moth to a flame. His hands rest on either side of you upon the flat surface of the crate, mindful not to touch you although you can tell he desperately wanted to. Grey eyes constantly switch between your eyes and lips, a palpable hunger in his gaze. He leans until his lips hover over yours, open and inviting but never catching. The heat of his body radiates warmth yet you can feel him shiver under your hands in anticipation.

“How’s, uh- this?” His words fumbled in a low whisper, voice dripping with want.

You hum, appearing to ponder deeply. “Not quite. A little closer.”

Your ears pick up the sound of his nails scratching against the wood as he balled his hands into fists. His chest heaves with a deep, shaky sigh. Luis complies with your command slowly until you can barely feel the softness of his mouth and the taste of his warm breath upon your tongue. His musky scent nearly makes you dizzy but you hold firm.

“There. That’s… better,” you say slowly, purposely drawing out your words so that your lips gently brushed his. His lust-driven mind turned to mush, Luis mindlessly mimics your mouth’s movement in a clumsy attempt to capture them. “Now what was it…you wanted…to say… Luis?”

At the sound and feel of his name, he muttered yours without thought under a desperate groan. The man was absolutely drunk off of you. And thirsty for more. You breathe in deeply, the sound from your mouth coming off like a wanting gasp and Luis tilts his head to align with your tempting lips. He moves to dive in and devour you-

Zzzp!

The sharp sound breaks the man from the spell and he pulls back to look down and see you’ve done up his jacket. The man catches your gaze once more and is met with a victorious glint in your eyes. Your bottom lip caught in between your teeth in restrained giddy humor. Luis blinks in realization that he has been had, ears and cheeks burning red. But his expression wasn’t that of anger nor embarrassment. If anything at all, he had a look of newfound respect. A tiny bit of disappointment. And desire burning still.

The dashing man attempts to save face with a short chuckle. “Good one.”

You faux innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Cuidado, my friend.” The man growls, his tone thick with daring. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

It was both a warning and an invitation all in one. And you were all for it- Eager to see how much and how long it would take for you both to drive each other insane. The idea pumped you with excitement, mind already coming up with new scenarios to play with him.

You push him back gently until you’re back on your feet, facing him head-on. Already were you missing his warmth, but the sly smile never leaves when you respond back. Another shrug, “Seems pretty tame to me.”

The confounded look on his handsome face was priceless. Without a second glance, you brush past him, making sure that your hand slithered along his body with promising intent until your reach no longer touched him. You barely hear Luis curse softly in his native tongue and can feel the heavy weight of his wanting eyes locked onto your retreating form.

Challenge accepted.

[awkwardanxiousasexual]

Look I'd love to be wrong but I'm just trying to be realistic

[pedripics]

✌️✌️

[tommarvoloriddlesdiary]

Tom: Right, let's say that Harry and I are married-

Harry, confused but he has priorities: I don’t want to marry you.

Tom: This is simply pretence, Harry-

Harry: Well, I don’t want to pretend that either; you’re like a 4 out of 10.

Tom, drawing his wand: LET’S JUST SAY WE ARE MARRIED-

Harry, also drawing his wand: I WANT A DIVORCE.

[thelaurenshippen]

man, not to brag about my own show or anything, but while there are always things I would change about anything I make (and definitely PLENTY of things I could have done better as a writer/the showrunner of this show) Evan really fucking nailed the score for The AM Archives. it's just.....very fucking good.