#school's over after this weekend for me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cathartes-aurae · 2 years ago

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#on paper life is going well #birthday next week #school's over after this weekend for me #going to the zoo next week #have a lot of fun trips planned this summer and also i plan to work a ton on my art and make more stickers #but i just have a haunting anxiety that my life is actually falling apart in some vague way #i last felt this feeling super strongly in 2019 when my life circumstances were not nearly as good as they are now but i'm still having #a hard time shaking the feeling #also i've had less therapy sessions this month bc memorial day and my therapist has been out of town #my brain just wants to be sad! i'm sick of being sad all the time! >:(#personal

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your-unfriendlyghost · 12 days ago

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mentally prepping myself for another 9.5 hr shift tomorrow…might end up committing a few minor crimes after but we’ll see

#9.5 hrs makes me crazy istg #after my last one i went on a long run alongside a train to clear my head #and i had to keep reminding myself that hopping onto one of the cars was a horrible horrible idea (look im self aware just impulsive ok)#n this time im already considering cruising up n down a street in the big city near my town to pick up girls or sneak into a bar idk #which is also an objectively awful n slightly immoral idea but i’m yet to completely talk myself outta it #…and after that damn shift i dunno how strong my willpower will be #maybe it’d be legitimately /safer/ for me to quit…who knows how long ill be able to reign myself in…#my folks keep sayin it’ll be more fun if my friends work there too but that ain’t happenin-#the stupid store is in the next district over n all my unemployed friends r also carless #rambling #vent post #sorry 😭#i keep wanting to like write/draw but the thought of work tmmr makes my brain go into fight or flight #fuckin adhd man #delete later #im gen srry for all the venting abt work n all i just. idk. I hate that I ain’t drawn in a minute.#N my irl friends have no sympathy bc they think im bein dramatic (i /am/ but I ain’t tryin to be I legit can’t help it)#sighhhh #yeah no I gotta quit I think im a teenager I NEED to not work doubles on the weekends AND do school at the same time #wish I could get a mechanic job or smth. mechanical stuff makes sense to me. stocking toy store shelves in specific ways is like an art #an art that I don’t understand in the slightest #so I set up displays n then my coworker says “naw that’s not quite right go do it again”#(he’s very nice abt it dw very nice guy i just don’t /get/ him)#ugh…#yeah no definitely deleting this later lol

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californiaquail · 21 days ago

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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up #sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation #even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been #some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss #but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time #over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either #i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane #i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after #i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at #it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same #silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time #it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen #of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately #this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country #again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want #things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao #i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot #everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me #and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d #anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that #to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm #recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca #also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before #anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun #and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have #i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired #and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that #i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip #whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn #(<- guy who should be in therapy)

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thevaudevillescene · 5 months ago

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I was dropping the check off at a table and the little girl, who had not spoken a word to me the entire time her family was there, said, “um, did you know that, um, that cats have 32 muscles in their ears?” I said, “oh yeah, so they can rotate their ears 180 degrees and move each ear separately so they can figure out exactly where a sound is coming from!” She was like :o and her mom said, “oh, you just became her new favorite person.” The little girl was practically bouncing in her seat and her mom said, “Go ahead, tell her another cat fact.” She said, “Do you…know how cats sweat?” I said, “that’s easy! They sweat from their paw pads!” She was like :O!!! This went on for a few minutes, we kept telling each other cat facts, then she made her mom show me pictures of their cats, Cheddar and Havarti, and i was like, “i LOVE cats named after food. Hang on,” and i pulled out my phone to show her a picture of Sushi and said, “This is Sushi, she’s my best friend.” The little girl was like, “WOW, she looks sooo fluffy and soft!” Then she looked at her mom and whispered, “mom, can i show her my drawings?” Her mom was like, “oh, I’m not sure, she might be busy…” i said, “no, I’m not busy, it’s okay, i wanna see!” This girl whipped a sketchbook out of nowhere and showed me so many really great drawings and i was like, “whoa, you’re super talented! These are seriously awesome.” The whole experience felt very much like I’d met myself as a child, because I was absolutely that little girl.

#the kids were SO funny this weekend #a little boy at another table gave me a detailed list of all the times he’s eaten seafood and which types of seafood he likes #while his sister sat there going ‘i don’t like that :)’ after every one. then he said he doesn’t like salmon and his sister #SLAMMED her hands on the table and went ‘i. LOVE. salmon. oh my GOSH.’#i told them to have a good year at school and the brother heaved the deepest sigh and was like ‘yeah…back to reality…’#then these three kids at another table were explaining the timeline of their parents’ relationship to me #talking over each other and yelling dates and names at me. ‘okay so then dad broke up with jenny-’#i was like ‘wait wait who’s jenny i’m lost’ ‘he met jenny after mom broke up with him the first time in college’#ah yes i see

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roaringroa · 4 months ago

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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end

#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask #december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery #and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc #and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh #every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night #oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes #and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester #and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu #oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well #and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also #pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc #so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal #honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know #like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc #but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated #also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm #is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is #incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship #so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year #at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately #i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new #my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper #and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been #like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare #idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling #and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa

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neosatsuma · 3 months ago

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do u guys wanna hear something really dumb 👉👈

#so tomorrow i 'have work after work' as I put it #meaning i stay a few hours later than usual bc we're putting on a show at the theatre #tomorrow is a sold-out tribute band #so it'll be busy #I also need to email a bunch of local schools to make sure they all know where they're bringing their classes Monday #school trip coordination being a thing i am newly in charge of. first rodeo!!!!#so I'd love to be sleeping #unfortunately i tripped over nothing a few hours ago and fell directly into my dresser ribcage-first #which left quite a mark #and every position in my snug cozy bed HURTS #every time I shift I make guttural dad noises ayukcwxjzbevjx WHY #and of course the weekend is busy and all of next WEEK is a trainwreck confluence of responsibilities #yippee wahoo *subtly signaling for the sniper to take me out*#sats speaks

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im2tired4usernames · 8 months ago

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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die

#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid #she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds #ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back #she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german #boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk #is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how #SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on #his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT #she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches #with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE #there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but #THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS #she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry #in the disguise of helping clean house #while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought #my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died #hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life #WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON #SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD #SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE #OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO #OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE #THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING #UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO #be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW #I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE #FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN #SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME

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fxckinemo · 1 month ago

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i love panic attacks immediately after waking up

#i checked my schedule for the week after next and im only scheduled 17 hours #so now i have to sit down with the team lead who makes the schedule and explain to her i will be fucking homeless #if she even works today #but like did i do something wrong i feel like im being punished #I can't physically or mentally handle two jobs while also in college i just can't #god I've been such a nervous wreck lately too i really don't want to have to sit and talk ab my hours like this #they said when i was hired that you put in your desired hours and they'll do their best to meet them #now I'm worried im gonna have to go somewhere else and i really don't want to i like it here #i just need to get enough hours to survive and it doesn't seem like i will #i really hope i can talk to her today and she gets it. like I don't care over work me im used to it #but i will always be happier at a job when i know it will pay my bills #i just hope she's understanding i think maybe she just misunderstood when i said i had school and thought i wanted to work less #so hopefully i can convince her to give me longer shifts on the weekends

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falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand · 2 months ago

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i actually kind of get the not having enough time in the day to do all the things i want to thing now... having a life is lowk crazy

#between writing again (!!) having a few tv shows i'm watching and spending time with my people i'm actually having to prioritize certain #things over others which. for the 'my hobby is phone for seven hours after school' guy is big #i need to finish some of my books too... it's been uh months but there's no time! aa!#like i both want to watch tv (this is actually novel for me as pretentious as that sounds lmao) and write my fic? i have to choose? help?#and i have only an hour before going to bed bcs i spent after school with my girlfriend? so many things happening #all enjoyable but it's funny being busy with things i enjoy #i have a big thing this weekend that's stressing me out tho... guh. i'm also ready to have one less club in my life bcs one is ending soon #i say 'one' like there's multiple. there's literally two lmao. i'm not used to doing something daily aside from school lol #kiwifae says shit

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mothbeasts · 4 months ago

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sorry everyone I need to get serious for a second. fuck qelbree it no joke ruined my life 💙 and also I hate psychiatrists (one psychiatrist specifically) (the one who put me on that medication)

#bee's buzzing #it sparked my recurring manic symptoms that have not gone away even years after stopping it 💙#like no joke it made me Legitimately Manic at the tail end of my time taking it #i nearly dropped out of high school because of it. it was BAD.#i only stopped and reevaluated because it also made me freak out and quit cold turkey and then i slept for a full weekend.#because for like two weeks prior i had been sleeping MAYBE three hours a night #and my body gave out the SECOND it could #i thought itd be over after that but i guess not! because i still have recurring hypomania !!#and every time it comes back i end up making people upset and fucking up but at least i accomplished absolutely fuckall.#im so tired 💙

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cowboylikeyouu · 4 months ago

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i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni i don’t wanna go back to uni

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lux-astrorum · 5 months ago

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lying on my bed at 6pm bc it's finally the weekend and the last two weeks have been some bullshit

#the first week of September not only did i have a cold but i was also in a mad frenzy to mail my grad school application to korea #within the VERY short window in which they accept them #and i had to run all over while I was sick (I wore a mask everywhere believe me I did not WANT to go out) for a day to get it done #and it was sooooooo expensive to mail quickly hoooolllyyyy shit #i had a friend over last weekend which was fun but exhausting #then sunday night after a relaxing day i check the tracking link for my application papers and it said they couldn't deliver it #but there were 2 updates one said the address was wrong one said they couldn't get access to the building to deliver #SO ANYWAY I freaked out and didn't know what to do and by time I put my phone away and went to bed it was sooooo late #and I spent Monday/Tuesday being worried 24/7 and going back and forth between the university and UPS on email/phone to get it sorted #thank god I got a delivery notification super late on Tuesday before I went to bed and the school updated my application by Weds am #so I can sleep in peace for now #but ......god #why does the plot always have to be thick like pleaseeee #so anyway Im taking this weekend to rest and recharge #my friend sent me a gift box from lush to make me feel better and I WILL be using it🥹#I plan to relax and plan my korea trip and sleep a lot this weekend tbh #also i get paid today yayyy #haven't posted a long personal vent in awhile figured it was time✨#//#personal

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kakusu-shipping · 2 years ago

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Doing what I always do in times of stress, Drawing Koro-Sensei Fluff.

#Emile's Arts #Koro-Sensei #This isn't the school trip to Kyoto btw my S/I wasn't there for that #Instead it's the Teacher's only Trip to Kyoto Koro-Sensei begged Karasuma for after my S/I lamented missing the school trip #Sense ya know he wasn't hired yet #It happens over a weekend sometime before Leader Time (s2ep6) haven't decided exactly when yet #But it IS the incident that finally gets Koro and I together officially #That's to Irina wing maning us god I love her #Bestie Irina my very best friend doing her best #It's hot and I'm thinking about all the summer Yukata episodes of anime and feeling soft #I wanna kiss Koro-Sensei sooooo badly that would fix me

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catastrxblues · 1 year ago

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great i think i’ve finally caught a hint of a cold. my question is, where the fuck were you a month ago, when i could actually afford to take a day off?????

#😭#my throat is starting to feel a bit ehhhh and then my nose is runny and i keep sneezing *sighs*#make sense considering that i spent almost the entire weekend outside and that it kept raining once i was going home so #bjt still #also that part about loving chemistry and stuff I LIED #i’m starting to get sick of her #i spent the first five days of this week (well technically last because it’s already 12:17 am but) crying and stressing over it #and then the entirety of this weekend at school studying it #AND THEN i’m going to have to spend the entirety of next week ALSO studying it #and by entirety i mean entirety!!! like i’ll be excused from all classes nrxt week (from morning to afternoon pretty sure) to study the #materials. AND THEN this guy had the audacity to still keep the chem extracurricular going after school on monday 😭#and we usually go on until five HELP ME #AND THEN after that i have extra course and GUESS WHAT. on monday we have physics and CHEM. chem again 😭#the worst thing about this is that i knoww i’m not good enough to pass the first round anyways you know #it’s like i’m suffering through this for nothing it’s just aghhhh #bismillah though i guess #*smiling through the pain*#chem tag #nadirants

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pismaco · 2 years ago

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things i doodle while procrastinating my essays…

#she went to borders over the weekend w her dad to read ga (back when they were in print!!) and then got krispy kreme after #she played wedding dash on her phone and could only draw in the ppg style #she has seen every episode of south park #she’s super into anime (she has never heard of naruto somehow)#she had a BIZARRE obsession with marvin the martian #she was called “full of hate’ by one friend and was duct taped against her will at school by another #she wanted her parents to divorce so bad #i love her. she’s god’s favorite little princess. i feel so bad for her #one day i’m gonna make a 7th grade anya playlist for myself and then maybe i’ll understand her better #pspspsps #doodle #lameart #don’t indulge me. yell at me so i’ll post already #bc the last thing the world needs is for me to keep talking abt myself (i can’t help it. i’m a leo)

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kaoharu · 1 year ago

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weempwomp

#✧ chatting !#i have to get back to cleaning soon waaahhhhh #me when people are supposed to be coming over next week and i only have the weekend to rlly clean. like. man #im gonna have to sacrifice my time after school to clean and stuff this upcoming week sniffles

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