#i thought itd be over after that but i guess not! because i still have recurring hypomania !!

[mothbeasts]

sorry everyone I need to get serious for a second. fuck qelbree it no joke ruined my life 💙 and also I hate psychiatrists (one psychiatrist specifically) (the one who put me on that medication)

[gayfrasier]

HAD THE. CRAZIEST INSANE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS AT UNIVERSAL TODAY

[mgsdelta]

being poor is literally so miserable

[choccy-milky]

Hi Darling! First of all.. OMG I REALLYYY REALLYYYY LOVE YOUR FIC ♥️♥️♥️! I've been a silent reader for too long and this is the first time I came to the surface to thank you for this amazing fic and art that you've made.

I also have gathered my courage to ask you this. But headcanonically (if that's even a word but wtv 😭) in your fic world. Did Sebastian ever court or interested in someone before Clora? I had a wild thought that he was into someone and had courted them but wouldn't last long because he had to take care of Anne and this lass he courted was tired of his rambling about Anne this and Anne that. Sebastian decided that they should end things because not appreciating Anne means not appreciating him.

And when he dated Clora. He met her again. She desperately wants him back and apologises (She does have another intention though). He declines because he's already ill with her and is now crazy in love with our darling Clora. He chooses not to tell Clora about this. But I wonder what happened if Clora knows tho.

ANYWAY! THANK YOU FOR READING MY LONG ASS WILD THOUGHTS BUT I AM AN ANGST GIRL IN THIS ANGST LIFE. 😭😭😭💙💙💙

AW THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME💖💖IM GLAD TO HEAR IT💖💖 AND OK its funny you bring this up bc i actually planned for sebastian to have a bit of an internal monologue in my most recent chap about the girls he's had a crush on (before clora--omg... B.C), but i ended up cutting it out because it was part of a deleted scene. but no seb has never actually dated/courted anyone before clora, tho he defs did have crushes....but if he WAS with another girl before clora....🤔🤔hmm🤔🤔 i guess it would depend when in their relationship clora found out? if it was at the beginning when clora was still really shy/nervous/self conscious, it would obviously make her even moreso, and she would have compared herself and wondered if she was good enough and if she was doing things right. and i feel like that early in the relationship, if that other girl DID come back and try and get with seb, clora might actually be worried they'd get together again, esp if she ever saw them talking (kinda like the lawley situation, but in reverse BAHA) if it was NOW though and clora just suddenly found out....LMAOO oh boy. she'd obvs be like why did u never tell me, and itd go something like this: seb: "it was brief enough that i didn't see any point in mentioning it--we hadn't even snogged." clora: "well, it just so happens that i was with a boy before you, too. but we hadn't snogged either, so by your logic, i guess you don't care." seb: ".........." seb: "........alright, point proven." (and then seb would be all worried and confirm that she hadnt actually been with anyone before him/that she was just messing with him, and shed be like LMAO YES IT WAS JUST FOR ARGUMANTS SAKE OBVS) anyway clora might be sad for a bit but she'd get over it pretty quick, since she knows seb is so devoted to her/hed make it a point to be a huge simp for her to show her he has no leftover feelings for anyone else LOL (like how he was after the relic incident & during her period) honestly its just hard to make clora jealous in the first place, bc seb is such a mega simp for her LMFAO. and aS HE SHOULD BE!!!👇🧎‍♂️

[scourgefrontiers]

HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.

so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.

in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!

unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.

dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.

so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.

so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.

its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling

sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess

[heroswags]

the sphinx experience

for the longest time, ive always had the dream of dressed up as a four legged sphinx character with specific built in features for me to be able to move fully, not entirely naturally, but enough for me to look like some mythical fantasy creature. i dont know why. id design the character myself, build the suit tailored to my body, and id do whatever crazy shit i could think of as soon as i put it on

since i was a little kid ive always wanted to act like some feral animal, usually i wanted to be a werewolf. i used to try out those werewolf spells on youtube, specifically the ones that required you to say things like "mote it be" at the end of them like that was such a specific thing for werewolf spells back then. idk if people still do them. when i was 16 (maybe 17?) my psychosis got so bad that i started believing i actually WAS a wolf. im pretty sure it was clinical lycanthropy. ive recovered from that ever since

but ever since ive always had this lingering need to get on all fours and act animalistic; i have never been satisfied in my own body but over the years i "adapted" specific traits that animals do. its kind of weird. i try flexing my ears like a dog, i tuck my arms under my chest like a cat, etc. again. really odd but not in a bad way. odd in a "oh this is something hero would do" kind of way (if that makes sense). anything animalistic has also given me tons of gender euphoria, ESPECIALLY if its sphinx related. explaining my obsession with sphinxes and how important they are to me is a whole nother can of worms but they are super important to my entire identity in ways that i never thought were possible. and its funny i say all of this because like... im not otherkin, or a therian. i am a furry though but i dont really think that counts (?). my connection with sphinxes is just a weird personal experience thats not too serious but also still super important to me as a person

and i always think to myself, what would it be like to be these creatures?? how would i feel walking on all fours? people would think its weird, people think anything out of the ordinary is weird, and it IS weird. but they think its a bad weird. i think its a good and fun weird. and its something that id really wanna try one day. of course id have to get fit for it if i really wanted to get in full costume, and its not just a quadsuit kinda thing. im talkin about running, jumping, etc etc, getting super active for the hell of it. i wanna get the full body experience of what it would be like to be wild, feral, and FREE. i still want some of my humanity attached, hence why itd be a sphinx character id base said costume off of

this is more of a haha funny thing but halloween is coming up, even if i wouldnt have it ready in time (i doubt id even have materials to make it myself) but i think chasing after people on halloween late at night would be hilarious

very long rant talking about my inner feelings about sphinxes and how i really want to be one, but not enough to the point where i cant return to society as a human guy. a costume is enough for me. its almost 12 am and i need to sleep for work but ive thought about things like this for YEARS so i guess ill dump it here

[sburbian-sage]

Howdy there! Im a Knight of Blood, and a human, in the same session as those cherubs!

The sister went a bit cuckoo after she smashed her PC, and stayed up a few days in a row without sleepin, runnin from land to land grindin though quests like a maniac. Eventually one of us told her that her message went through on yer blog and youd responded, and she lost it even more when she read it.

But, ya know what? It actually worked out real well! I guess she hates ya more than her brother now, and that lets her manage to get through a conversation with him without losin it, knowin that he aint the *worst* person around.

Course, all the rest of us think yer pretty great. I think this coulda been a real nightmare of a session. To hear her tell it, all ya did was insult her, but I think she took some of yer points it to heart, even if she wont admit it. ;)

She and her bro still aint getting along all THAT well mind, and shes still a rough around the edges but were all putting in an effort, and I think shes startin to get it.

Anyway, shes too mad to talk to ya, and hes too embarrassed about draggin ya into this to wanna keep doin it. But I thought itd be real rude to not tell ya why they went quiet, and how all that hullabaloo ended.

…Also, im sure shes just talkin, but she says shes gonna hunt ya down out there. Not sure how shed do THAT, and im not sure if shes for real about wantin ya dead or just has some kind hatecrush on ya now (not sure how that works), and I think shes commin around anyway so I doubt shed really kill ya even if she thinks she means it, but figured id warn ya just in case she figures it out some day.

Oh dang! The Cherub Saga comes to its thrilling conclusion. Or at least it does for now, until I meet my own thrilling conclusion when I wake up with a knife in my back, apparently.

First of all, let this diplomatic powerball of an extended online social incident stand in defiance of everyone who ever told me that I'm "so horrendous at people skills and considering the feelings of others that I want to pin you down and peel you" or "good at giving advice as long as you stay away from anything interpersonal". Second, I'm glad not only to have been vindicated, but also to hear that things are going a bit better on their end. The power of friendship, while powerful, is ultimately contextual, but the power of hatred (and offloading all of your personal frustrations onto someone you've never met) is very potent and the time for using it is always.

Jokes (not jokes) aside, I am glad to hear that things are smoothing out for everyone involved over there. The only thing I can advise on now is not to "force" anything vis a vis getting along with people. Partially because that never works ever, partially because it will double-not work with her in particular, but mostly because there's a common tragic pitfall with situations like these. Someone will be a little rude, or unpleasant, or have a glaring personality flaw. It causes them problems with people in their lives, and so they take steps to improve. And then they become immensely fucking boring and uninteresting.

All I'm saying is that if ever she logs back on and checks out my blog again (probably while throwing knives at a dartboard with a picture of my face on it), all I'm saying is that less brother-murder/sublimation is good, I'm ambivalent towards the me-murder, and

I'm glad to hear the brother is doing fine as well. If he's avoiding contact for my sake, I'd say "don't bother, I can deal", but I appreciate the concern at least. My advice to him is that he should also sparkle on, and he's welcome back anytime.

[whosthatdccharacter]

Heyo! We've done six of these so far and it's been fun running this little game for yall. I hope its entertaining for you!

Now that we've got some under our belts I wanted to open up for feedback on a few different points. Im going to go over how ive done stuff so far, so if you have any thoughts on aspects of it you can chime in.

Putting the rest under the cut since it's kind of long.

1. Timing

So far I've tried to post new ones at sort of random times in the day so it doesn't give any one a consistent advantage. Im US Eastern and posts might go up anytime between 8am and 2am. I might even use the queue to schedule round the clock.

Another timing thing is that when someone guesses right, I give at least a few hours more before posting the reveal. It's just to give people a little more time to play, even if someone gets the answer right away. That's not to say you cant play after the reveal posts go up, but if youre anything like me, as soon as the ability to see the answer is available im clicking that link lol.

And since the reveal post tags the winner, I wait at least a few more hours for the next silhouette post so the prev winner doesnt have the advantage of being notified of the next one.

So a question here is should I wait longer or shorter on any of these areas? Do you like that its only one unrevealed at a time?

2. Difficulty level

This has been the hardest because it's a learning curve to find what's easy, what's hard, and why. There are SO many characters and runs, so it's hard to know if something I thought was memorable was even a blip on other people's radars. So ive tried to do a mix of difficulties.

Easier ones mean more people have the satisfaction of guessing and maybe getting it right, but if it's too easy then it might feel like these are puzzles for babies.

Harder ones mean a challenge and a lot of satisfaction if you figure it out or know that it's some niche thing. But if it's too hard then nobody gets it and it can feel kind of bullshit.

So what im wondering here is, do you feel like these have been too easy or too hard? Do you like it being a mix?

3. Character and image selection

If I put up a straightforward silhouette of Etrigan, everyone's going to get it and there's no challenge. On the flip side if i did a silhoutte or jason blood standing in a contextless room its like that could be literally any random man, so itd lead to random guesses. So ive been trying to find the sweet spot of the silhouette being somewhat familiar but not completely unique, and the rest of the image with some stuff going on. I think that's been going well but it does mean it relies on me and my ability to make a good little puzzle of it. So i hope I've been doing an alright job in that area.

Choosing from particular runs is interesting. I usually think of a character first then go find something they were in. Im finding the stories with other characters and team ups are good options to provide that extra context. But then the tricky part is that i have to be at least somewhat aware of whats popular and whats not. I dont want to use a panel from a run nobody read (unless its really good), and I also dont want to do one so infamous that everyone knows it like the back of their hand. So as with choosing particular images, I hope my choice of titles I'm sourcing these from has been fair.

4. How to guess

I went with tags so it encourages people to reblog and hopefully spread awareness of the blog. I think its also the easiest way people are inclined to interact per post. We couldve done asks but sometimes those get dropped by tumblr, and all the reveal posts would be answers to asks instead of standalone posts.

I like the idea that even for old ones people can still play and have fun with guessing on their own. Not sure if theres a clever way to encourage that.

And i hope the leaderboard is fun. Just a small incentive to participate. Its like saying nice job, thank you for playing.

5. Hints

As mentioned previously, if over a day goes by and nobodys got it ill post a hint. I've only done one hint so far and i was really not sure how subtle or overt i should be. Idk if anyone has thoughts about it?

--

So that's it. That's the process behind things and kind of where my mind is on it. I want it to be fun and chill, so if you ever have feedback about something you can always send an ask. It can be about the topics here or really at anytime about anything.

Thanks for playing everyone! Keep it up!

[yuukei-yikes]

So anyways, what do you think about Marry Kozakura? I like her a lot, but her arc always falls kinda flat to me because while she supposedly "develops" out of her time looping, she never really...actually grew, at least in my eyes. Once, I heard someone say that even if Marry saw everyone else die due to immortality, she still wouldn't reset because of character growth, but I never felt said growth. I feel like an interesting remedy to this that would change nothing is having multiple previous timelines where they came very close to reaching a good end, but Marry chose to reset once more because she knew her own eternal youth would just cause her to go through it all over again in however many years time. This would make it way more meaningful when she DOES bring everyone back. Ahhh kinda nervous about sending this ask in you're very intimidating

HMMMMM thats an interesting one. i do like mary a lot, but i prefer ignoring the whole thing abt being immortal. for starters, to me she is the same age as mekatrio.. 100 year old looks and acts like a kid is a shit trope and i see NO REASON why shion couldnt live the 70s or something 😒 anyways that out of my way, i think mary ages normally. like she is just 25% medusa. if anything okay, she is immortal and can control how she looks as she ages more?? like if shes old she can make herself look younger ig?? but absolutely can age and is also the same age as the mekatrio

AS FOR UR ACTUAL QUESTION i guess i agree with u!! i mean i dont see mary living a life alone at all. i dont think that after everything she'd just take everyone's deaths just cuz oh they died of old age 💗 HEH im not a mary expert so sorry if i piss off mary fans in the crowd ur welcome to tell me ur thoughts

i think itd be interesting for mary to keep resetting whenever the last person dies. she keeps resetting and seeing everyone grow up together and die of old age over and over. she forgets that she reset it anyway so to reset again its like her form of passing away too ig. tho ofc there's to consider if anyone had kids, then she rly wouldn't be alone. shed be the immortal granny :3 but resetting is a more fun hc also maybe she does stay around for kids and grankids and grand grand kids and etc but eventually still resets anyway

insert fairly odd parents episode i never actually watched where timmy makes the secret wish to be 10 forever and when asked how many years ago did he make that wish he says something like UMM 78 YEARS AGO

shintaro remembering timelines: MARY HOW MANY TIMES HAVE U RESET

mary: *sweating*

[ozyras]

roland as adrion .. i think i might cry. it'd be a really interesting swap considering adrion's forgiving/subservient nature contrasting with roland's harsher, more bitter one. we've seen roland hold grudges before and that was only regarding terrence leaving them to fight on their own against a fakejoker, so itd be definitely different seeing his reaction to sera's whole incident[s].

evil rei oh my god *keels over and dies*. the idea of ice claws is so cool- especially since he's based on some cooler tones [teal hair, bluey grey x-static costume] it works as a good contrast to volcan's fire.

vaughn and keon switching makes a lot of sense too [since theyre both super shady]. i do agree that while having to swap abilities might be unfortunate, it's pretty pertinent to the plot so it makes sense!

im thinking, is it keene and doc who switch? or maybe doc and kayden. since keene isnt super plot relevant? originally i thought leilah, but im pretty sure she swapped with william :]

also! for some reason, the idea of elaine digging up dirt and isen totally at remi's whim is the funniest thing to me because it's so odd yet so already in character for them. i picture elaine to dig up dirt cause she likes making fun of people secretely [with cecile]-- elaine and cecile are unironically such a great duo in this though -v-

heyaaa, so sorry for the late reply spex :( yea i think roland would be a little harsher towards sera and would have a harder time forgiving her compared to adrion but i think they’d at least be on good terms (especially after the u-mart incident) before sera returns to wellston. he’d show his resentment way more when they were in new bostin though, with evie being the one to go easier on sera because she didn’t want to lose her first friend.

EVIL REI YESSS i wanna draw more of him tbh :3 the ice claws are sooo cool thank u mer ( @stingro ) for the idea!

tbh i was thinking of doc and kayden but it can change anytime if a more suitable character appears. if they were to switch, i think kayden would be a newly graduated nurse and darren would be a chemist who’s been working with william in spectre for a long time. kayden has to get involved with spectre some way through william tho, so i think he’d be william’s student/mentee or something? i also thought about going with the original storyline and making them date but kayden and william’s age gap and jane’s role being so ambiguous make things complicated. i’d probably switch kayden and doc’s ages if i were to go with that but i think the first case with kayden being william’s student works kinda better?? i’m a little unsure about this part so i guess i’ll have a more clear idea about them as the story progresses. oh and keene’s swap is probably nadia :) (the lie detector lady)

heheh yes isen and elaine’s swap is so funny to me too. isen just does everything remi asks of him and tries to flirt with her whenever an opportunity arises but remi ignores his attempts completely. i always imagined that she’d ask for sera’s old records from isen because he’s very good at this stuff but wants elaine to question her (idk why i just want that interview scene between them!). but what you said makes so much sense too, considering elaine looks down upon people a lot so she’d probably secretly make fun of people. i think in both ways, that scene would be a good insight on elaine’s character, revealing her prejudiced side. and yea, i love the cecile-elaine duo a lot here, they’re a little less mischievous than blysen (mostly due to elaine’s calmer personality) but they still care about each other sm :>

[linkware]

Today i got a meeting bc my numbers were low for a second day in a row and when i mentioned that id probably be faster if i wasnt experiencing A Pain in my body and he mentioned that i could go home but itd be another occurance and then said "the two excuses i hear the most are pain and the freight being bad, and from the looks of it youre fine and the freight is too" like im sorry i havent had a period in 6 months and i think my uterus is trying to invert itself inside of my body. Be nice to me before i explicitly describe what that feels like in detail to you and we both have to go to HR about it!!! But switching happened after to handle the Emotions and i asked him to do a random safety audit on me without telling me and i passed just fine so he said as long as i keep a steady pace through the night like i did when he audited ill be fine and we got the number back higher.

I still have to think about my job as a combination of school and salmon run to survive it but whatever works for me i guess. Have to be here i go on break when they tell me and i have to meet a quota.

I get praise if i meet it and a passive agressive talking to if i dont. This is so mr grizz coded. Also its stupid to expect 100% productivity when you, yourself, said that it takes roughly 6 weeks to get your body adjusted to the constant movement and ive been here for FOUR. And only 2 weeks actually doing things in my area hands on. Which is 7 days bc i havent worked tomorrow. Thays bananas and i think its silly so idc.

Also the rule that "if you need to rearrange a box so it fits then you packed it too full" is really stupid and i dont follow it because if i have a big cardboard box sitting on all of the smaller ones it wont fit but if i just move everything on top of it its fine. It literally takes less time than closing a partially full box bc that takes me longer than just dumping the box onto the line, putting the big item in, then putting stuff back ontop AND THEN closing the box. I can easily put more in this box without going over the handle. You want me to make a wasted movement to prevent a different one. I am very proud of my ability to follow rules unless they are stupid and no one can give me a better answer than "um its just the rules" like. Okay then unless its like some actual problem im gonna keep doing it suck my peanits.

I am also considering just giving myself a lunch budget for the workweek instead of prepping lunch bc i actually cannot handle doing the dishes during the week bc before work and after work is my only free time </3 i dont want to touch something gross or wet </3 ill do the trash or sweep or clean A Surface but dishes is no so tomorrow morning im gonna knock them out so i can enjoy the weekend and stuff cuz im gonna cook alot of tomato and feta to freeze sauce abd i can sense the dishes already

Overall today was mid. Again. And one of my coworkers i thought was nice put his two weeks in but i figured hed prolly get fired soon cause hes taken off more than hes worked so hes def out of PTO and u only get two absences/occurances in ur 90 day/orange vest (im at 1 out of 2 en and im scared idk how he does it) and his brother bit the snot out of his arm and left a huge bite wound while on meth and he lost custody (tbf his apartment is getting demolished due to rain damage... but from what he said he shouldve gotten it instead but im a bystabder in all of this. I hope the kid has a nice life she doesnt deserve to be between the drama her parents have)

I think is freakeng weed time bc im sooo emotions still. And i have an edible for edible + park tome so im Considering tomorrow taking it and going to the park around 5 am for a Magical Time with the sunrise

[b0mblover]

Luchidashi consuming brick fic

By: J

(Aka, “Hey Yall Watch This”)

thanks to beatroot for title 💀

Do NOT EAT BRICKS its awful that i even have to say this but Luchika does NOT condone eating bricks And nor do I.

Luchika was hungry, he had grown up going hungry, everyday, but not like this, kunai never seemed to need to eat, sure both of them were dead, but luchika still felt hunger. 

He had asked kunai about it before, only getting a shrug in return.

Luchika at 2 in the morning started pacing around the small apartment, it was something to take his mind off of his hunger,,

“Lu? the hell are you doin?” Tadashi slurred out, he had clearly been sleeping peacefully.

“Huh? oh its” he paused “nothing”

“Uh huh and youre just so happening to be pacing at 2 in the morning?” Tadashi was stupid sure but- okay thats really all

“I- well-“ he sighed defeatedly.

“Just tell me what it is” tadashi put his hand behind luchika, making him walk to “his” bedroom.

“Well- i, i dunno just-“ kunai sat down ok the edge of the bed motioning luchika to do the same. 

Luchika sat on the bed aswell before starting again, “I dunno, just, yknow how you never get hungry?” he asked rhetorically. “mhm?” “I still do get hungry and i dont know why, and obviously its hard to just go out and get food because- well you know”

Kunai sat in thought for a minute, trying to understand what Luchika meant.

“So what youre saying is, youre hungry” 

“Yea?”

“and you cant and or wont go steal anything to eat”

“Uh yea??”

“and youve kept this from me for how long?”

“Um, i dunno- since we started living together? i guess?”

Kunai sighed, 

“Come here” luchika did as he was told and walked over to where kunai was pointing

“You see that brick there?”

“Yea?”

“If you get hungry, just pull it out, youll see” Kunai had hidden snacks behind the brick, for whatever reason unknown to luchika.

“A-ah, well- thank you” luchika was confused, did kunai want him to eat the brick?

“Youre welcome, now go get some rest, you look tired”

“Okay, thank you!” (😊 SEN YOU GET YHID JOKE RIGHT) 

luchika walked out of kunais “room” going to his own.

He flopped down onto his own bed, before letting himself be consumed by the warm blanket under him, he hadnt even took of his shoes 

(yes luchika just threw himself ok the bed and fell asleep he look like he would)

The next day luchika woke up at 14, he wouldve slept longer, but his stomach had other plans. He felt if he had ate anything like hed throw it up.

He walked around the cramped apartment, looking for Kunai, after 10 minutes of looking, he realised that Tadashi mustve went out. 

He remembered what Kunai said about the brick, he thought it was stupid, but he knew if he didnt eat something now, hed regret it later. 

Luchika walked to the spot kunai had been pointing at, caressing the brick wall trying to find the one he had pulled out the night prior (yk he doesnt pull out he…)

before resting his hands on one that moved, kunai had stuck it in slightly deeper than the rest, probably to mark where it was (SHUT UP 😭)

Luchika worked with his nails to pull it out, after struggling for 5 minutes, succeeding. 

He sat the brick down on the floor, was he seriously about to eat a whole ass brick just because he was hungry? yes. yes he was.

-

He brought the brick up to his mouth, questioning if itd break his teeth. he knawed on a corner for a while, getting used to the slughtly crumbly texture, the apartment was quite old so it made sense. 

He tried to break some off in his hands to make it easier, but failed, so he went back to the corner, he swallowed the broken bits of brick like it was his last meal, attempting to savor the “flavor” or lack thereof..

He started to cough, breathing heavily, turns out, eating rubble of bricks thats dry and crumbbly will do that.

He didnt have any water, the utilities had been shut off since he died, they used candles to even see.

No bottled water in sight, he kept coughing, he believed he heard a door shut, however it was only 13 by that point, he wasnt hopeful that kuani had came back that fast.

But of course luchika had to be wrong, there in the doorway, he seen a black silhouette, through the tears and constant coughing, it was hard to make out.

“Lu? what the hell.. what did you do?”

luchika contiuned to cough, attempting to gasp for air, yet again, failing.

Luchika watched as the silhouette disappeared into the darkness again, he attempted to cry out for them to not leave, but only made a strange spitting (?) noise.

Kunai returned with a bottle of water and opened it for him, he had stolen some from god knows where, he reasoned with himself that i was “just incase”, this was the only logical argument hes ever made in his life and non life. 

He moved the bottle up to luchikas mouth before tipping his head back, luchika followed kunais movement, letting the slightly cool water pour into his mouth and throat, 

He had a lot to explain.

(arent u guys so happy that i write so many ppl eating so many things they shouldnt? yk, (to the like two ppl that seen it) the tadajiro bathroom thjng, j was planning to force jiro to eat the shampoo, but i thought thatd be too mean 🥰 /j.)

(hi shlopt)

[kurtmustdie]

I have soooo many so heres a list including aus (every time i listen to music ALL I DO is imagine random stories):

Monster by Paramore, Mapleshade PMV

Losing my Religion by REM, a Bluestar PMV about her losing touch with StarClan and thinking that she sees her dead loved ones for the last time before eventually completely giving up.

Just like Heaven by the Cure, a CrowPool PMV because i have mixed feelings about Crowpool but I LOVE Just Like Heaven

Where is my Mind by the Pixies,, mapleshade again but it's more water related if that makes sense?? like it focuses a lot more on her feelings around her kits drowning

When You were Young by the Killers for an Ashfur MV. this one has been floating around in my head for tooooo longgggg

Boys Dont Cry by the Cure for general like.. Trans Masc characters including warrior cats and mostly warrior cats idk i thought it would be cool

I Write Sins not Tragedies.. Panic at the disco... mapleshade again but THIS TIME ITS CIRCUS THEMED-

Pinkish by Gerard Way is for an atsv warriors au hi reclusestar do you like how much trauma the narrative gives you buddy

Happy together also by gerard way (a cover) for Ivypool, Blossomfall, and Breezepelt about how they got manipulated by the dark forest. maybe it will end up being an au about them finding solidarity in each other and becoming close friends.

Hazy Shades of winter cover also by you guessed it gerard way, for Bluestar again, except this time it covers the events of Bluestar's Prophecy

How its going to be by GERARD WAY AGAIN wow can you tell i like his music for the Journeyyy arcccc because :))))

Juarez by Gerard Way, an Evil Flametail AU where he tries to exact revenge on Jayfeather for not saving him (the dark forest manipulated him into thinking that).

1979 by the smashing pumpkins, just a fluff pmv for my older warrior friend group OCs (Corvidmane, Sagespots, Hollyvine, Buckdapple, Oleanderheart, and Swarmwing).

My Hero by the foo fighters, an AMV about Greystripes feelings about losing his mentor, Lionheart.

House of Wolves by MCR basically just an emo themed Mapleshade amv because :3

I dont love you by MCR for Squilf and Brambleclaw because they need a cat divorce jesus christ

I have this WHOLE OVERARCHING AU Based on Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge called the Venom AU where Mapleshade AND Frecklewish end up "teaming up" in their revenge spree, its a lot. itd take so long for me to explain.

Party Poison by MCR, a danger days themed ivypool amv idk

backing off of that NaNaNa by MCR being a general power of 3 kind of thing, also themed off of danger days

Drowning Lessons by MCR also for some Warriors OCs (Mallowstar and Cloudflower) they are t4t and in love and they also die oops

A Match into Water by Pierce the Veil also for Warriors OCs (Candlelight and Pumpkinclaw). lesbians fr

Ghosting by Mother Mother. a redemption AU where Mapleshade meets Mosskit in StarClan who finds a lot of comfort in her. they eventually bond and Mosskit is able to help Mapleshade come to terms with things and she starts her path to StarClan redemption. if the toms can go to starclan scott free for doing horrible shit then mapleshade can be redeemed dont even /lhj

Romantic Homocide by D4vd, a crk warriors au thing with Briarthorn and Darkstar idk they arent actually in love nor are they ever implied to be Briar just ends up aiding in killing darkstar and is a little shocked that he wasnt even phased by it.

All Eyes on Me: I ACTUALLY DID A FINISHED MAP ON THIS ONE ON SCRATCH AND IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT- an evil Dovewing AU, she still has her powers and stuff but she gets jealous over Ivypool being able to "spend time with" (she actually hates his guts) Tigerheart without her so she joins the Dark Forest herself, ending up going too far.

Jealous by Eyedress for atsv warriors au again i love dragging out reclusestars trauma (i am a very responsible character writer)

Prelude 12/21 by AFI is like the "sequel" in the Evil Dovewing AU trilogy, after she dies she goes to the dark forest and helps them fight in the great war.

I have more i just forgor :D

Rb and infodump the warrior cats pmv/amv idea that has been stuck in your head for years.

I'll start, an ambitious 5 minute pmv of Mothwing to Hand Over Hand by Roland Faunte exploring her relationship w Hawkfrost and her conflicting grieve/relief after his death. Sometimes I replay the song on loop and just space out imagining it... I love u sm Mothwing.....

[transkurootetsurou]

vent, suicide, death cw

i dont get it. im not the most sensitive or empathetic guy but like. idk, this is setting me off, i guess because its a touchy subject.

a few weeks ago, i tweeted that i had a certain song (i said the title) in my head & i was very sad about it. & apparently my friend’s ult group has a song with the same name so they replied excitedly. except they know i dont care about that group, & they know that i like astro, the group whos song i was talking about & also a member of the group, moonbin died maybe two days or less before i made the tweet (which they also knew about. honestly would be pretty difficult to be into kpop & not know about it tbh). maybe if they didnt have any of that context, id understand, but. the assumption that i was talking about their ult group & completely ignoring the mention of my feelings/mood really ticked me off.

& then yesterday, i was listening to a taemin song with my roommate & casually mentioned that i would go to a taemin concert, & then followed it up by saying that id go to a shinee concert, but id probably cry the whole time. of course i started tearing up because i am very far from being over that death (i wasnt able to listen to shinee at all for a few years, & even now i cant listen or watch any of their music that came out after). i tweeted about it because i thought i was being a bit ridiculous bringing up a topic that i knew would make me sad lol & then my friend replies something like, "when superm comes, im going to see them. shinee too." like. okay. first of all, this is not a lighthearted tweet?? this is a sad tweet. second of all, i wasnt talking about superm. (& third of all, there is no joppin in 2023 anyway because kai is unexpectedly going to the military)

itd be different if i said something like, i really want taemin or maybe shinee to have a concert nearby so i can go! but i didnt. say that. my tweets were about how sad i am about these boys committing suicide (even years later, in the case of jonghyun’s). & like, i know that the meaning behind my tweets were obvious to me & might not be obvious to other ppl. but this is my friend. we went to high school together. we have been friends for over ten years, we still live within 20 mins of each other, we hang out & talk on a regular basis. maybe this is just really petty, but in what world would those responses be okay. i would rather be left alone lmao

[shoezuki]

piglin techno confusing the fuck out of ranboo hcs

i jus be doin some shit sometimes n then my brain is like ‘hey think a this’ and i been tryin to type this out but my internet is so bad rn i couldnt even Open a new post what the fuck. anywayss. this ran so long. so fucking long

started with ‘i wonder how piglins act’ and now technoblade is doin some shit, ranboo is so confused, and philza is a delighted bystander who is having the time of his life

technoblade is 100% piglin. many people think he’s part human to some degree but hes Completely and Utterly piglin

most assume as much since he doesnt begin to rot in the overworld. but short answer; he’s Built Different

long answer is a blessing of the bloodgod but shhhhhh

techno never corrects anyone or talks about being piglin or Anything. he just doesnt care what other people think and assume. the only one who Knows is phil

phil had first thought it was out of some sort of shame or desire to Hide it but. yeah. no. techno jus doesnt care. build; different

although more Notable piglin traits come to like if he’s close to people

piglins are both social and anti social. kinda. they can be hugely independent, do well without ‘proper’ socialization for a Long while. but they group together for Lifetimes. once piglins find a family or friends and expend Full trust to them. its all or nothing you Cant break them up

how tommy betrayed and turned his back on techno just. its like a physical pain. once he trusted and respected him, the mere Idea of betrayal was nowhere in question. it never occurred to him

philza is now the only person that techno consciously and subconsciously considers him a part of his ‘pack’ (i cant figure out a better term but that one doesnt Fit)

techno never realizes when he acts piglin traits out towards those he trusts. he never does so in company outside of what he considers family. philza notices though.

phil tends to study and research other races and cultures a lot. he’s been around a long while, has met many people of all different backgrounds. he likes knowing and understanding what he can. its just fun too.

it mostly started when he first met techno because he wanted to figure out what the FUCK techno was doing without asking and therefore embarrassing him

but phil knows techno well. and he knows piglins well enough. and he Knows techno doesnt ever seem to be self aware of his more inhuman habits

but Phil knows. and he Notices when techno starts to consider ranboo a part of the pack

First, it’s gifts.

surprisingly, its ranboo giving techno the axe first

he wasnt there to see it. but phil might as well have been present, considering how Horrifically in depth techno ‘ranted’ to him bout it

but techno reciprocates it and Then he really starts to notice more and more

first, it was giving the enchanted apple to ranboo. sure it Technically had been swiped by techno out from under ranboo but it was still Something. techno wasnt one to give up valuables easily

then techno starts ‘complaining’ about ranboos living area. and his eating habits. phil looks away when techno smuggles golden carrots into ranboo’s shack 

eventually technoblade is crafting ranboo a cloak to match their own and he’s freaking out about ranboo’s height and his dimensions and how much cloth he’ll need but he refuses to ask ranboo and phil is holding his head in his hands

(phil forces techno to gift him the cloak in person rather than stash it under his pillow and run like he’d planned. techno bitched about it but after ranboo practically lit up, burying himself in the cloak and thanking techno so hard his throat mustve hurt, techno was so practically purring the rest of the day)

after gifts, its noises. 

techno is seemingly silent. he doesnt speak up much, moves so quietly people tend to jump when he appears. 

in reality, he talks to himself constantly. either when alone or when in phil’s company. philza knows that aspect is the ‘voices’, and also just technoblade’s tendency to fill the silence and wonder his own thoughts aloud

but the snorts, squeels, grumbles, and other sounds he makes without realizing are some phil knows are piglin

its often guttural, a noise he makes in the back of his throat that rumbles and reverberates through his bones. 

itd sound terrifying to anyone, but after years of techno trilling deep when phil enters a room, when he returns from some sort of journey, when he says hello or makes his presence known in anyway, phil realized its more like a greeting. excitement to see him. it became something sweet

long story short ranboo nearly jumped so high his head went through the ceiling when he’d first walked into the home, said hello, and some gruff purr sounded from the techno’s chest

theyd both jumped so hard, stared at each other as if they were trying to figure out what was wrong with the other 

phil was physically pained as he held back his laughter to the point he was crying. that changed the subject to him quickly

it didnt happen again for a while, but phil didnt say anything and just watched. it was too entertaining

techno would make his small squeals between breaths when he remembered something, muttered to himself, snorted and huffed even as ranboo was around

ranboo got used to it. he stopped jumping or even looking confused when techno trilled some sort of deep purr when ranboo would join them for dinner

lastly, techno was tactile

or, as tactile as he could be. techno wasnt touchy even on a great day. he was selective, reserved, would lean into phil or loop an arm over his shoulders but would never say anything about it

phil didnt question it and would just pat techno on the arm without saying a word

but. sometimes. when phil would be gone for a long time, techno would rest the entire weight of his head on phil’s shoulder, practically encapturing him, rumbling and grumbling so harsh it shook phil’s whole body

phil still wasnt certain on this one. he couldnt find much in the way of what it meant. piglin’s tended to stay with their own, and they never reunited after long periods of time because they never would dare to separate for long

 he was kind of guessing here, but the way techno would drop his shoulders and practically melt made phil think he was just missing him and wanted to confirm phil’s presence. 

it wasnt like he complained. it was sweet

ranboo had been gone a while. he was vague on why, or where. phil had a suspicion or two but ranboo kept a lot of secrets

neither techno or phil pried too far, but phil could tell it was disconcerting to techno. he was tense and kept himself almost deathly busy for two weeks

(piglin rarely if ever kept secrets from one another, phil had read once. omitting a few things here and there, maybe. but lying or deception was out of the question)

phil hadn’t been there when ranboo returned. he’d been gathering firewood after techno was insistent they completely top up all of ranboo’s stores

he’d heard the muffled growls techno made as he walked towards ranboos shack, before even seeing him. 

when phil found them techno had ranboo nearly completely obscured in his cape, and definitely he’d have been out of sight if he was any shorter. 

techno’s head was lofted heavy in the crook of ranboo’s neck, forcing ranboo to hunch with arms wrapped tight around ranboo. his arms were pinned. 

ranboo caught his eyes, looking so scattered and tired and confused and maybe even terrified. he might have spoken or maybe he just mouthed ‘help me’ but the gruff purr-like sound techno made was too loud to hear him anyways

philza shoved his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing

later that night ranboo asked phil if techno was going to kill him. phil wanted to scream

even later then, techno had admitted to phil that, yeah, okay, maybe ranboo was growing on him. phil had never felt so violent

[nat-20s]

8 for jmart?

#8- constantly cheacking their messages for words from the other

what else was I gonna do? here's some classic ol' season 3 pining babey

Hello Martin. This is Jon. I have gotten a new phone after losing my last one, please put in the new number.

It's a simple message. Straightforward, factual, and utilitarian. There is no reason that pressing send should make his heart race. There's especially no reason that the second he sends it off, he's tempted to lie on the deeply uncomfortable, likely bedbug infested motel mattress staring at his screen until he gets a response. Sure, he's sick of being overseas, and he's sick of being so isolated, and he's sick of running, but he's not...desperate for what little companionship can even be provided by words on a screen.

He does miss Martin, though. He misses Tim as well, but in a manner that's significantly more complex and knotted than the simple desire to be around him.

God, when did he start wanting to just be around Martin? He started being aware of that want when he was at Georgie's, but he has no idea when the want itself actually started. That was probably something he should examine. Technically speaking, that is something that he has time to examine, but he doesn't want to examine right now. Right now, he wants the comfort of perhaps one of the only people out there that doesn't want to kill him, or use him, or both.

Martin, whether through somehow sensing Jon's discontent from nearly 4000 miles away or, more likely, through a general dutifulness inherent to his character, only takes a few minutes to reply. Oh good! it'd been a little bit since hearing from you, we were somewhat worried. putting you in my contacts as we speak :)!

Saying that "we" were worried is almost certainly generous on Martin's part, but Jon feels no need to point that out. Instead he turns on his side and stares at the phone. He particularly focuses on the smiley face, ridiculously charmed by the fact that, despite everything, Martin hasn't lost his predilection for emojis. Two years ago, he would've rolled his eyes, maybe thought something snide about professionalism. It wouldn't have been fair, as Tim used to do the same thing and he thought nothing of it, but he wasn't fair back then. Now, he simply wonders if he can get away with sending one back.

Before he can respond, Martin sends another message. Are you actually alright? I realized I was kind of assuming that losing your phone was the only reason you were MIA, but is anything else going on?

Damn. He tends to forget how perceptive Martin can be. What, exactly, Martin had perceived in that first message, Jon couldn't be sure, but apparently there was something that tipped him off to the..eventful last week he'd had. He really, really doesn't feel like getting into all of that right now, especially not over text, so instead he replies a mostly truthful I'm fine.

Then, squinting at the screen and realizing that might come across as a dismissal, he adds, Well, other than trying not to contemplate the general sanitation practices of a motel that clearly hasn't updated it's decor since the 70s. I'm suspecting the sheets are much the same.

He doesn't know how Martin will react to the message. He can't see the face he'll make, won't know the tone of his voice. However, he likes to imagine that Martin will at least smile. Maybe he'll even give that breath of a laugh, the one that sometimes happens when Jon's being lightly acerbic and it's not directed at him. He doesn't know, but he does hope for it. Martin texts back Oof. Maybe sleep on top of the covers tonight, yeah?, and Jon thinks that he might have guessed Martin's reaction correctly.

Christ, who knew all it took was a combination of jetlag and threats to turn him into a sap. He needs to sleep. He really needs a deep, proper, uninterrupted sleep, one lasting a minimum of eight hours and ideally closer to fifteen. Checking the time, it would be a fairly reasonable time to sleep, especially with the early start he has tomorrow. He considers sending off a quick good night message, but then has the realization that as reasonable as it is for him to be asleep right now, it's just as unreasonable for Martin to be awake. Are you alright? Good lord, Martin, it's almost 4am over there. Did I wake you?

Barely 30 seconds pass before he gets back no, you're good!

A beat, then a follow up message. I've had a irregular sleep schedule since I was like 16. A lot of evening and night shifts had a lasting impact u know? Working at the institute made it a bit more consistent but it's still p rare that i sleep the same eight hours night to night.

Jon's starts to text back something sympathetic; he's had his own struggles with both in- and hyper- somnia, but his phone buzzes in his hand before he can finish it.

Sorry! That was uh probably more information than you wanted.

Well, that just won't do. Even if there wasn't a part of his brain that had recently started collecting facts about Martin like they were precious jewels instead of mostly mundane stories, he doesn't want Martin to think he can't talk to him about things outside of the standard bounds of coworkers. Not at all. We're friends, Martin, I enjoy learning about you.

His brain wants to catastrophize the second he presses send. For the first minute that Martin doesn't reply, he doesn't let it. After the second minute, he allows the minor worry to become more severe. Had it been too much? Were they friends? Jon certainly thought so, but what if Martin wasn't in the same boat? Their interactions had been entirely friendly for months now, but what if that was just Martin being polite? God, what if Martin still thought of Jon as his boss, nothing more?

Ten minutes. It takes ten minutes for Martin to finally respond, and Jon has almost called him four times to explain himself. Ten minutes, and the first response is only Oh!

Then: Cool

Well, that's not a "piss off and die", but it's not exactly comforting. Jon doesn't know how to reply, staring at the words on his screen and not entirely sure if he's fucked up or not. Fortunately, Martin's not done responding, and the next message is much, much better.

Hey uh. Feel free to say no I know it's getting late over there but. Im not getting back to sleep for the rest of the day and itd be nice to actually hear you. Would you be okay with a call?

Without a moment's hesitation, he texts back Yes!, exclamation and all, because he's become someone he barely recognizes. The phone rings just as immediately, and he feels his entire body relax at Martin's first "Hello?"

Things are difficult right now. Things have been difficult ever since the promotion that was a curse in disguise. The world is filled with monsters he barely understands. He wishes he was home despite the fact that he barely recognizes it, as filled with tension and strife as it is. There's so much to discuss, so many things they should be hammering out. But right now, the threats are not pressing. Right now, he can hear about the bad true crime documentary Martin half-watched before he got Jon's texts, and Jon can bitch about the three different "pip pip cheerio" comments he's gotten since coming over seas. Right now, and for the hour before Jon drifts off, breathing slow and deep, he can pretend that this is an ordinary phone call, in an ordinary world, between two people who simply miss each other an extraordinary amount.