#school work and being physically incapable of doing it when i know i need to

[autism-alley]

augh found my old post abt pjo and disability from before the show came out but it was on ye olde blog so i’m literally just gonna copy and paste, 3, 2, 1—

ok now that i’ve got it on the brain, i want to talk about disability in pjo and specifically how calling percy jackson dumb or treating him as such is not only a mischaracterization, but ableism. as a quick note, i’m keeping this to just percy to avoid having this already long post be even longer, but there are other disabled characters in pjo worthy of discussion, though i hit many of the same points in this post. i bring up percy specifically because he is mostly the character i have seen people treat as stupid.

percy is a dyslexic teen with ADHD who comes from a low-income family, raised by a single mother, and deals with an abusive step-father. i cannot stress enough how much of his character is shaped by that experience, but as hard as it is to single out any one part, i am going to focus on his ADHD and dyslexia. this kid has nightmares of being forced to take tests in a straightjacket as teachers ask him if he’s stupid and withhold him from recess with his peers. he is constantly labelled as “troubled” and blamed for things he didn’t do or aren’t his fault. he is told, over and over again, even from trusted adults, that he is “not normal” (othering him). he bounces between schools. he struggles to make friends. he deals with bullying. he has difficulty studying and reading, even when invested. teachers struggle to connect with him and tend to just give up on him. these are real disabled experiences, and rick does a good job at presenting them in the pjo books. sometimes, it feels like everything is a struggle. you are living inside a system that not only is restricting, but actively works against and punishes you.

in contrast, CHB is a great example of how when environments meet the needs of disabled people, it hugely changes how disabled we are in that environment. demigod brains are hard-wired for ancient greek, not english, and they’re born impulsive, with high energy levels that help them survive battle—but aren’t very good for a classroom setting. but by having them read books in ancient greek, regularly do lots of training/physical activities, and have genuine opportunities to express themselves...they function pretty damn well. percy discovers that while he struggles academically, he is brilliant in combat and capable of saving the world numerous times—he is a hero. do you know how important that message is for disabled children? disabled adults, too? that we can be heroes?

it is here, in camp half-blood, that percy finds a place he belongs, that shows him his worth—finally, somewhere is built to not only include him, but to nurture and genuinely prepare him for the world outside its boarders. however, i think people forget that just because percy functions in the world of CHB and the gods, that does not mean he doesn’t face ableism in the mortal world—and that there is an entire group of people who see ourselves reflected in his character.

i could talk on for hours about how much being disabled shapes percy’s identity and how he interacts with the world—like how percy’s humor revolves around coping with his environment and actually displays a very low self esteem after being looked down upon his entire life. this kid doesn’t even have to say anything and he screams i had a neurodivergent childhood. but about 5-6 years ago, when i was more regularly tuned into the fandom, every time i saw someone call percy jackson dumb or an idiot, even jokingly, i raised an eyebrow, and now that the series is getting fresh coverage from disney+, i have wanted to make this post. so much of this kid’s life and personality comes from being treated like he’s dumb or incapable, so it’s troubling to watch part of the fanbase reflect the harmful parts of this character’s upbringing. i truly hope it does not become common again. it’s also one thing coming from a neurodivergent/disabled person with similar experiences (and even then i personally find it a little uncomfortable), it’s another to be said by a neurotypical/able bodied person.

percy jackson’s experiences make for very important representation, and for people to characterize him as just a goofy, unintelligent guy is not only an insult to his character as a kid who is intelligent, but previously lacked the environment to show it, but also ableist. so in the dawn of the new tv series era, i ask that we cut that shit out. rick riordan did not create rep for neurodivergent and disabled kids for them to be called stupid by the fanbase. even jokingly.

[belit0]

Itachi with number 12 please, i need this man biblically 🛐

Me with Indra 🛐🛐 OKAY BUT WHAT IF ACTUALLY, the reader cheated on him with Shisui? That would be so hot.

NSFW prompts!

12) Imagine that Itachi and reader lived together. Itachi comes home one day and hears loud moaning coming from their bedroom, recognizing reader’s voice. Itachi assumes, to their horror, that reader is cheating on them, and they rush to the bedroom and open the door. Instead of seeing a cheating partner, Itachi actually walks in on reader masturbating/using sex toys while moaning out Itachi's name.

Being Hokage is one of the most daunting tasks of his life.

Itachi thought things were difficult when he had to prevent the almost military takeover his family was planning, when trying to stop Orochimaru from killing the Third Hokage, when preventing his best friend from committing suicide, when he had to remove that idiot Danzo and displace all the corrupt people from Konoha's power.

The villagers grew to love him so much, with him replacing the murky image of his clan with one of respect and responsibility, that there was no hesitation when a new leader for the community had to be chosen. A unanimous vote decreed him as the new Hokage, and Tobirama Senju is probably rolling over in his grave because an Uchiha reaches the pinnacle of authority.

Consumed by his new role, Itachi forgot what freedom was, leisure time, not being stressed or anxious about the amount of work he must do every day. Many old-school skeptics still believe him incapable, and he is determined to prove to everyone that not all Uchihas are demented psychopaths.

With the death of his father at his own hands, he had earned the hatred of the entire family, but he ended up making them understand the motives behind his actions, how wrong it would have been to allow the clan to take control by force. Shisui had been the mastermind behind the plan, and while people accused them of being double moralists for killing Fugaku and taking the leadership, they eventually understood that it was the right thing to do.

He tried to have his best friend be the one to take the position, but Shisui, missing an eye, excused himself under the pretext of nobody respecting a half-broken Uchiha, and absolved himself of the responsibility. With no other options, the people proclaimed Itachi as the village's savior, trusting the young boy to be capable of leading them all to a good future.

Drowned in meetings, events, documents, papers, he lost his free time, and returns home late at night every day. With his face ruined by fatigue and barely able to move his legs because of sitting all day, he manages to walk through the doors of his home, having refused to live in the Hokage's tower.

He knows who suffers the most from all of this is (Y/N).

Neither of them was prepared for events of such magnitude, everything happening overnight, and the period of adaptation was practically nil. Overnight, she lost her man's presence as if the earth had swallowed him up.

When Itachi comes home late at night, the girl is already asleep. When Itachi leaves home, early in the morning, the girl has already left for her own work.

Having lost close contact without warning, the Uchiha has almost no time to see her, talk to her, or connect with her in an intimate or sentimental way. Shuffling his feet, he makes it home, and after leaving his shoes at the door, he enters.

His ninja instincts kick in the moment he walks past the entrance, confused by the noise heard throughout the house in the middle of the night, when his wife should presumably be asleep.

He assumes the worst. The lack of touch, absence of dialogue, no physical presence had finally broken (Y/N)'s patience, and his wife decided to look for in other people what she had previously found in him.

Destroyed and with a heavy heart, he suddenly feels a huge emptiness in his chest, and becomes paralyzed. He cannot move, nor approach the room, neither can he open the door and find another man between his wife's legs. He doesn't know what his reaction would be, and he doesn't want to find out either.

Is he willing to throw it all away, everything he achieved, people's respect and affection built with painful effort just because his wife is also human and has needs? Killing the person who is pleasing her, replacing him, will only bring disgrace on everyone's head, with citizens wondering who they elected to rule. It would unleash new chaos as they would see him as an insane Uchiha and this would catapult that-.

"Where the fuck is he? He should have been here by now... dammit!" His wife's voice exclaims from the room, snapping him out of his dark lucubrations and bringing him back to reality. That doesn't sound like another person fucking her, does it?

Unsure, he approaches the half-open door, and peers through the gap of vision it provides. Could he have used his Sharingan to detect other presences in the house? Yes. Is he too consumed by his own inner demons to think about it? Also.

In front of his eyes, he sees a naked (Y/N) on the bed, legs spread and lying face up on the mattress, holding one of the toys they both use for their intimate moments. The object vibrates non-stop inches away from her pussy, but she seems to be distracted looking at the clock.

"What are you doing, (Y/N)?" Itachi asks in a mixture of confusion and relief, not understanding what his wife is up to but happy that she hasn't dumped him for someone else, watching the image with intrigue and helplessness.

Startled, she suddenly throws out the vibrator, her body involuntarily jumping in surprise, and it flies off towards the ceiling only to land on the floor "ITACHI!".

The Uchiha laughs, suddenly relaxed and calm, shaking off today's troubles and understanding his wife's effort to revive the passion their relationship was lately losing. "You should be sleeping, love." He walks over to her, and sits down on the bed.

"I wanted to surprise you... I know how stressed you are lately and maybe I could help you like this..." He takes her in his arms and all he wants to do is hug her, kiss her, squeeze her until suffocation and make her understand how much he loves her.

"Well, you succeeded, but let's not waste your state, hm?" He kisses her eagerly, pouncing on her even with the Hokage robe on, not losing a second.

Tomorrow, his work clothes will have strange light stains on them, but no one will dare ask where they came from.

[studentbyday]

december reflections ❄️

the first half of this month was tumultuous, but i'm proud of me because there was growth! 🌱 still, i hope the next half of this month will be more peaceful and gentle. and as usual, I flip between first and second person when referring to myself 🙃

Constantly chasing perfection does not guarantee happiness in the present or future, and I am allowed to be happy while it's studying/school/uni season. When we chase perfection in school/uni, often, we either do nothing else than study and/or we fret excessively about whether we will get the highest mark possible and how the grades we get on each assessment will affect our overall average and... for some professions, having high/near-perfect grades are necessary and it is competitive and we all just have to do what we need to do to live the life we want and i have so much respect for those who can keep their soul intact while they chase this again and again and again (probably because they know how to not take this to the extreme/unhealthy territory). But the kind of person i will become if i keep going the way i am (i.e. the extreme/unhealthy version) is not the kind of person i want to be. Who wants to be bitter and hate their field of study? However, since i don't do much other than study, i burn out really bad every semester, each time worse than before. And the happiness i was supposed to get from chasing perfection and reaping the supposed (sometimes often not guaranteed) benefits? I feel none of it. In fact, sometimes I feel disappointed in myself for putting too much effort into something that ultimately isn't worth much to me (grades over learning)...again. Perfectionism was strongly ingrained in me early in my life, but as life goes on and the harder it gets to "be perfect," the more discouraged i get when i assess my value using imperfect measures of my potential... This semester, I think (I hope) I finally understood what it means to say the grades i get don't reflect my ability to learn and retain what i learn if i had more time, if i was in a better place mentally, and if i was physically well. None of it, including any accolades or awards I may or may not receive, is an accurate measure of my capabilities and my worth. I know this because when I think back to past achievements, most of the ones I never got big rewards/recognition for were the ones that mattered most to me because they were the ones that truly made me grow and/or made me feel the most whole and alive. All this to say, since my perfectionism is kind of a compulsive habit at this point, i just need to constantly remind myself that it does not guarantee any happiness/contentment/fulfillment in my life (which are all so much more important to me than being perfect) and that I am allowed to be happy, content, and fulfilled while studying and while in formal education.

Wisdom from my dad (and Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Accept whatever is out of your control (e.g. other people's decisions and actions), especially those things that are unideal, unfair, and disillusioning, without compromising your values. There is a difference between accepting that “okay, this is the way things are” and agreeing with the unideal and/or wrong thing. Acceptance gives you the mental space to pave a way forward that is both realistic and desirable to you. (Examples of a way forward may be working within an imperfect system to do what you believe is right or leaving an unhealthy situation.) On the other hand, agreeing is compromising your values. This can guide your reactions to troubling situations... The acceptance will help prevent the disillusioning and the unfair from eating at me in a way that defeats me or angers me so intensely that I make a bad situation worse because either I am just too filled with emotion to think of how to make things work or, in the case of defeatedness, I think I'm incapable and so don't even try to find a way to make things work.

In real life, success is not limited only to those who are aggressive/competitive and strong-willed and self-confident. It can be an and/or situation. You are not doomed to live a tragic life just because you have the tendency to have internal conflicts of a Hamlet-level emotional intensity. Those of us who don't fit into archetypal personality boxes and those of us who don't fit into the personality boxes that are idealized in our societies, I wonder what will happen if we start seeing this “inner diversity” as a strength rather than a weakness... (in this example, perhaps a tendency to not be aggressive or competitive stems from a place of empathy/consideration or maybe a lack of self-confidence stems from honest awareness of your limitations and it's just a sign to either work on or around or with them...because maybe the source of your greatest strengths comes from some of those "limitations" and so they shouldn't be treated as limitations at all but rather as needs to respect. and perhaps your strong will, despite sometimes being seen as unbecoming in a woman, is what will keep you from compromising your values when external pressures abound...) Will we start to find ways to make our conflicting traits work for us, refining rather than attempting (or believing we should attempt) to replace ourselves?

[actual-changeling]

Since you have been the first 'Crowley deserves to have his boundaries' person I have seen in the tags on weeks. What do you think about the talk in the fandom on how Crowley should have accepted going to Heaven 'to do good and stop the Apocalypse' and that 'he also rejected Aziraphale'? It personally gives me the creeps because the narrative makes clear that Heaven is a big white nightmare but the fandom seems to be taking the 'Aziraphale might jot be perfect' thing hard and therefore Heaven is fixable now...

Glad to know I am not alone in my little boundaries corner! I'm always here for discussions about it.

And, oh boy, do I have thoughts on that, let's see if I can get them to be somewhat coherent.

I am going to start this off with a metaphor of sorts and hopefully people will be able to follow along. I'm an older sibling and have a little sister, and we grew up in an incredibly abusive and neglectful household.

When I graduated high school, I moved out for university, which was literally the best thing to ever happen to me - I got away, I was/am free! Now I have to deal with the consequences of all that shit though.

If my sister asked me to come back so I can help her fix our mother (entirely theoretical btw she'd never lol) would it be the right thing to say yes? Should I give up my personal freedom, my life, the healing process I am right in the middle of, to go back to a household that broke me? So I can be trapped with a person that will never change again?

The answer is, of course, no. I feel bad for my sister and I am praying she will be able o move out soon, but me going back would not solve a single fucking thing. See where I'm going with this yet?

Crowley left heaven and landed on earth, which was ultimately good for him, but he has a lot to process and heal from; he's right in the middle of his own recovery.

Heaven will not change, it cannot be changed. The entire institution is working as intended, and the intention is to be abusive, manipulative, and have as much power over everyone as possible. You cannot fix that, you need to get rid of it.

Aziraphale has good intentions, but he is also still trapped in that abusive household because he never moved out, he is the sibling that stayed behind, just mentally instead of physically.

Hot take, but many people in this fandom are incapable of understanding that "Aziraphale is acting based on good intentions and is still actively being abused/traumatized" and "Aziraphale did bad and unhealthy things and his relationship with Crowley was co-dependent and toxic" are co-existing. Both are true.

Both. are. true.

He did messed up shit out of a trauma response, but he is still responsible for his actions, and at the same time he deserves a chance to heal and move on from it. Please, at this point I am begging people to understand that this is not a black and white issue.

Crowley did not reject Aziraphale, if anything, Aziraphale rejected him.

Crowley said no to returning to an abusive environment for an impossible task. Crowley said no to sacrificing his mental and physical health for something that he knows will not happen. Crowley, for the first time in his life, set a clear and final boundary and put himself and his life over Aziraphale's wishes.

That is a good thing. It is necessary.

Season 3 will not be about Aziraphale fixing heaven or preventing the second coming (if anything it'll be accidental just like in season 1). It's going to be about him finding his way out of his abusive household and into a healthy environment in which they're both free and can heal.

Apart AND together.

It's not happily ever after, it's not perfect romance, it's not "soul-mates" or anything. It is messy, it is real, it is complicated, and I am so fucking tired of seeing it reduced to "love conquers all".

[thecryptidzenith]

Thinking about powerless witches in TOH. Like, for all the magicless characters in the show, for all of the reasons why they're powerless, none of them are born as powerless witches. In fact, it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable to assert that witches who are born powerless don't actually exist. The only confirmation of it is Hunter telling Luz a lie that Belos told him, and even Willow who was a late bloomer did eventually show incredible magical prowess.

But what if they do exist. What about the witches who could never go to school because you need to preform spells to get in. Witches who could still be considered wild witches despite being physically incapable of performing magic because no coven would have them. Witches thrown out of their houses as kids for not developing magic quickly enough, or even at all. What about the people who took 'low skill, low paying' jobs because those were the only ones that could be done without magic. Luz stumbles into the Boiling Isles thinking that it's a magical place, a safe haven from all her struggles. A place free from the racism and homophobia she would have inevitably experienced in the human realm. Luz projects a lot onto the Boiling Isles, I expect that little could shatter that image as much as knowing how much society hates people who are functionally the same as her. How much they hate people who don't have magic, and how she avoids it by virtue of being a human, by virtue of being exotic. Hell, what about a little human kid who fell through a puddle and didn't get picked up by Eda or by anyone for that matter. What about them?

If we want to go back farther--remember that there's no evidence that wild magic existed as a concept before Belos, and everything to suggest that he just made it up as a scapegoat. Before that, before people could actually buy the concept of wild magic, who would have supported Belos? What kind of witches would be interested in equality between them and magic users? Who would have had nothing to lose by supporting the restricting of magic that they never even had? Belos could have promised opportunity and greatness for powerless witches (or perhaps, magicless witches--for after this, they would not be powerless anymore) at a cost that they would never have to pay. Besides, the witches would only be limited to one kind of magic, they can't use any. It's just leveling the playing field. Once he had enough support and his rhetoric was legitimized, Belos switched gears, learning that it's better to have the people who can summon fireballs with a gesture on his side than those who can't. What happened to powerless witches then? How betrayed were they, and how did they fight Belos' targeting after that?

What about those few who managed to create something beautiful despite their lack of magic? Who managed to carve out a niche for themselves in an area which didn't involve magic? There's no evidence of mechanics schools on the Boiling Isles, and Alador's abomination contraptions are complicated mechanisms. Why would he have had any reason to learn mechanics when abomination magic was enough? Furthermore, who could he possibly learned mechanics from? Mechanics might have been disgraceful work when a powerless witch did it, but when Alador Blight (emphasis on the Blight) incorporated mechanics into abominations, he was hailed as an inventive genius.

Obviously, this is all the realm of headcanon. The effect of powerless witches and their place in the Boiling Isles goes unexplored in the show, and that's fine. TOH did what it set out to do, with significantly less time than it should have had to do it. TOH is a story about oppression in the broad and soft terms. It's about individuals who become powerless and their struggles which features a rebellion populated by only a few characters. The communities of the Boiling Isles, the covens themselves and Hexside and the implied powerless witches, are not the point. Their stories are not relevant to the story of TOH.

But it's interesting to think about, isn't it? To imagine how these systems and communities would have actually worked. TOH is chalked full of allegory, specifically allegory of marginalized groups (most specifically, queer groups.) Hell, the thesis of the first episode is 'we weirdos have to stick together.' It might as well be: 'we queers have to stick together.' Powerlessness is quite obviously a disability allegory, Eda's curse is treated like a chronic illness, etc. The scenarios presented above just get a little more specific with it.

I understand why they these ideas are ignored by canon. The Boiling Isles are magical, that's the whole point. How drab would it be to follow characters who don't participate in that magic, who may be actively resentful of it. You want your audience to relate to your characters (generally,) and the audience of a show about a girl falling into a magical world is going to want to see that magical world and the magical people who occupy it. A character who despises magic and society's reliance on it would be at odds with an audience who is enthralled by magic. The exploration of the specifics and complexities of oppression is superfluous to the story, so why include it beyond broad allegory?

Cause it's fun, is the obvious answer, but I suppose that's the fandom's job, isn't it?

Anyway. Thinking about powerless witches.

[gonegrove]

Thinking about heather x eddie bc I’m nothing if not a champion of rare pairs in this comm

But just the “god he’s so fucking LAME and CRINGE and EMBARRASSING I need him CARNALLY” energy is so intense. Heather who prides herself in being The Bitch™️ and boasting about how all the boys are thirsty for her but she’s Too Good for them realizing that she wasn’t into popular hot boys because her type was scrawny shaggy haired freaks with awful personalities and a huge gatekeeping streak.

Heather realizing that the only one who can go toe to toe with her in a vaguely toxic and absolutely mean argument about some asinine shit like A Movie or SoCiEtY is Eddie Fucking Munson and it’s also unbelievably erotic to her and being like “i need to kill myself IMMEDIATELY”

Heather and Eddie as Janet and frank n furter in a rocky horror production bc they’re both attention whores, both into music as a Serious Thing and Eddie just loves anything not mainstream and music related so like ofc he went in for it. And the whole thing quickly turns into a 2 man cats the musical orgy energy shitshow bc they both just get TOO INTO PERFORMING. She’s trying to act soooooooooo normal but sadly eddie on stage singing his heart out half naked is literally too erotic for her. The entire crews job turns into just keeping them from screwing back stage like the horny theater kids they are. Good thing too bc she’s always this close to giving him a bj and if she actually did she’d have to walk into the lake never to return.

She’s actively avoiding any place he’s preforming bc she cannot be held responsible for what she might do if she sees him on stage playing guitar and she doesn’t wanna be arrested.

Eddie realizing that the most popular girl in school (I stand by heather being the Main Bitch and Chrissy simply gaining her crown after her death) is HILARIOUSLY INTO HIM. LIKE ANGRY HORNY. And first being like wtf???? Before he sees the opportunity here for Evil and is immediately delighted. Decides it’s open season for revenge of several years of bullying but pointing out to her how she wants him sooooooo bad it makes her look stupid.

Eddie challenging her to read all of Tolkien’s works, and Heather who’s physically incapable of backing down doing it and coming back with notes like “fëanor is RIGHT actually, so is melkor. I cannot believe you like this pansy ass gay apologetics shit what are you catholic??” And he’s both LIVID ON SO MANY LEVELS but also WILDLY AROUSED. There’s just something about a hot popular chick confidently having the most vile takes on his cringe exclusionary nerd shit that gets him hard. He’s horrified by this fact but also knows she wants him bad anyway so like really it’s just a matter of self control and can his self-esteem/pride take it.

All of his friends hate her and he’s like “yeah 😍 me too 😍”

She gets roped into going to/preforming in Some Town Event oblivious to the fact he is too and that’s when she gets arc of the covenant’d with his guitar playing. Mind snaps. Will power gone. He’s the shittiest dude she’s ever met she doesn’t like him AT ALL but sadly he’s also the Perfect Man and she needs him IMMEDIATELY. Legit jumps him the SECOND she can.

The kinda ppl who’ll continue an argument during sex.

Eddie loving every second of little miss rich and popular being soooo down bad for him. Loving having this level of control over someone who’s usually so “out of his league”. Loving how he can turn her brain off and make her shut up like it’s a magic trick.

Eddie slowly realizing there’s parts of heather that she never shows to anyone but he’s gotten a peak of, intentionally or not, and getting kinda possessive of that.

Heather laying on his shitty gross ass bed listening to his music and taking it seriously and talking about it musical artist to musical artist.

Heather calling his dnd group shit like “his pathetic gay loser circle jerk” and he’s just like “baby I’m going to kill you with a brick 😍”

Heather bodily taking over his hair and skin care routine. Even brushing his hair sometimes and explaining it all for when she’s not there and he’s like “lol you know I’m not doing all that”

[fluffyllamas-23]

🎮🩹🐈🍃🍝 for Jason and Ryan?

Thank you for this! As a refresher, Jason is an elementary school principal, and Ryan is an attorney. I’m also including Paul and Aiden like you suggested the other day. Paul is a writer who recently published his first novel and has had some short stories published in magazines. Aiden owns a christmas tree farm with his family (okay that’s kind of a random occupation, I know, but last year I decided I needed some OCs modeled after hallmark movie characters so here they are lmfao). Some slight TW for mentions of ab//use

🎮 What are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Jason: Pretty much all of his hobbies are outdoors or involve being active. He loves to hike. It helps him clear his mind and get his thoughts in order if his ADHD meds aren’t doing their job. He likes to go with Ryan, too. He’s into rock climbing as well. He never does it outside, but he’ll go to the gym that has a really nice rock climbing wall and can spend hours there. He also plays soccer in a rec league. He played soccer for years, all through high school and in college, and now he has the rec league to get his soccer fix.

Ryan: Ryan loves to read, and his favorite genre is high fantasy. He has a few authors whose work he loves to relax to, and he will frequently re-read books. If he’s had a really long and stressful day, he’ll come home and pick up his VERY well loved copy of LOTR and will read that for a bit to decompress. He loves to hike, too. It’s something he and Jason like to do together. Sometimes they bring their kids on kid-friendly ones, other times they find someone to watch them so they can do more strenuous ones. He loves to play the piano, too. He’s been playing off and on for a number of years, and really enjoys finding his favorite movie scores and trying to teach them to himself. 

Paul: Paul is a big art history buff. He loves going on museum dates with Aiden (they’re his FAVORITE dates), and going to the museum when there are new exhibits. He also has a few pieces from his favorite artists hanging up in his office and their house. He’s a big reader, too. Kind of cliche for a writer, but he truly believes that the best way to write well is to consume as much literature as possible, so he does. When he was married to his ex, he loved reading because it was an escape from his really toxic relationship and something he could dissociate with. Now, though, he reads more for enjoyment and relaxation. He’s really into film as well. He has favorites from all decades and will spend hours listening to podcasts on his favorite ones and consuming as much media about them as possible. 

Aiden: Aiden is clinically insa-I mean loves to run! He was on the cross-country team all throughout middle and high school, and kept it up after. It’s something that’s really grounding and soothing for him, and he’ll often go on a second run if he’s feeling extra stressed for whatever reason that day. He likes pottery, too, and will often go to the local pottery shop where he can take classes. One day he’d like to have a studio setup in their house, but until then he just goes to the shop. He’s a really great cook, too and loves it a lot. He loves challenging himself to make really complicated recipes and can usually pull them off beautifully. Paul also enjoys this hobby of his because he always benefits from it lmao. 

🩹 Does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

Jason: Jason has no physical disabilities, but he is neurodivergent. He has ADHD and is medicated for it. He takes meds everyday which usually help beautifully - it quiets his brain and allows him to be much more organized in his day to day life. He’s an elementary school principal and he NEEDS to be able to be quick and with it enough when managing his employees, the kids, and their parents. It’s a lot and he would feel incapable of doing it well if he weren’t medicated. On days where his normal dose doesn’t work for whatever reason, he’s been prescribed another low dose, quick release med he can take to give him the boost he needs. He’s also dyslexic. He had the loveliest tutor when he was in school who had a lot of experience working with students who have learning disabilities and it helped him make it through. As an adult, he still won’t read for fun because he finds it stressful. It’s difficult to keep his place, and the words get all jumbled up and he gets really frustrated. He can do it for work when he has to but he has to really slow down and take his time. One of his office managers, Alaina, will often read whatever it is to him and help him transcribe emails as long as it’s not any sensitive student information he has to read. She’s pretty much family at this point (he was her student in his first year of teaching, so he’s known her for a lot of her life) and she never makes him feel judged or embarrassed by needing help.  

Ryan: Ryan doesn’t have any physical or mental disabilities. 

Paul: Paul has no physical disabilities, but he has anxiety and depression and is medicated for both. The antidepressants are an everyday, he MUST take them, kind of thing, but the anxiety meds are more for if all of his coping mechanisms aren’t working and he needs them on a rescue-basis. 

Aiden: Aiden has no physical or mental disabilities.

🐈 Does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

Jason: Jason has a wide circle of friends that he likes to hang out with sometimes. They’ll all go out to the movies, or for dinner and drinks, stuff like that. Most of them also have kids, so they’ll often have gatherings where the kids can go hang out while the adults do as well. Even though he loves that bigger group of friends, he has a pretty small circle of a handful of friends he’d consider his best friends.

Ryan: Ryan prefers a smaller circle of friends. He’s not a huge fan of large social gatherings, though he’ll sometimes come to dinner and drinks with Jason’s larger group of friends. Sometimes he’ll go out for happy hour with his coworkers at his firm, too, but overall he definitely prefers to keep a really small close group of friends. 

Paul: Paul is really introverted. It takes a while for him to trust people enough to let them in because he just doesn’t trust people easily. His ex-husband was abusive and really isolated him, so he lost a lot of friends during that relationship. He’s slowly building his social circle back, but it’s just going to take awhile. 

Aiden: Aiden has a larger social circle than Paul, but he’s not looking to expand it, really. He still doesn’t have a ton of friends in his social circle, as he really prefers quality over quantity. 

🍃 What is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

Jason: Jason was a big fan of hands-on subjects.  His favorite academic subject was any science class he took that had a heavy hands-on component, and his favorite non-academic subjects were ceramics and woodshop. He’s really good at working with his hands and I think if he hadn’t gone into teaching, he’d have skipped college and gone to some sort of trade school.

Ryan: Ryan’s favorite subjects in school were pretty much any history class, and his speech and debate classes. That may be kind of cliche bc lawyer, but he really thrived in those classes.

Paul: His favorite classes were always his English classes. He’s always loved all sorts of literature and writing, and had always had his teachers tell him he should seriously consider becoming a writer. He also loved history, specifically the art history courses he took in college. He would frequently take those as his elective even if they weren’t technically considered electives. 

Aiden: Aiden was NOT an academic person. He didn’t like school, and there were no subjects he was passionate about. He hated being stuck inside, he hated the fluorescent lights, and he hated having to sit for long stretches of time. He’s smart and did well by just skating by but he resented having to sit and learn everything lmao. He did really like gym class and ended up being in cross country in middle and high school. He just has a lot of energy and it wasn’t conducive to having to sit for long periods of time. 

🍝 What is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

Jason: Jason is your classic ADHD “hyperfixation meal” kinda guy. He’ll only want to eat something for weeks and then all of a sudden is so tired of it and doesn’t want it anymore, and then he’ll move onto the next thing. He’s not really a fan of complicated, fancy food. He’d much rather have pizza and wings, or mac n cheese, or a burger than going to grab sushi.

Ryan: Ryan, in contrast to his husband, is a big fan of really interesting food, complex food. He really likes any kind of Asian food, especially sushi and will frequently go get it with the other partners and attorneys at his firm. 

Paul: Paul really loves diner food. Grilled cheese, mac n cheese, burgers, that kind of thing. He also likes steak, which is good because Aiden loves that. He’s pretty picky and likes what he likes. His ex always made him feel guilty for his food preferences and would often make comments about how he can’t have what he likes because Paul is soooooo picky and it would make him feel bad. Aiden will tell him not to feel bad about what he wants to eat and he’s happy to go wherever Paul wants to go.

Aiden: Aiden is a big steak and potatoes person. He loves loaded baked potatoes and loaded baked potato soup, and if he could subsist solely on steak and potatoes, he WOULD. He and Paul will frequently go out on dates to the museum and then finish the night off with a fancy steakhouse. 

[otomes-and-tears]

I have....MANY THOUGHTS ON OL2 YOU DONT EVEN KNOW--

Could I ask for,,,,something with Tamarack (step 2) and Fem!MC (Bestie or Crush status with Tama) who kind of looks a bit intimidating physically but the nicest,most wholesome gal ever! Maybe a romantic headcanons-like thingy for these two,or a fic,YOUR CHOICE!! All I ask is wholesomeness and fluff-- I JUST NEED SOME CONTENT PLS AND THANK U 🙇‍♀️😭💕

♦ Step 2 Tamarack with an intimidating Fem!MC ♦

► tags and warnings: stray cats

► words: 1530

► A/N: I don’t usually write headcanons and a one shot for the same prompt, but after i got halfway through the story I realised I went too off-topic (again.) and decided to make it up by writing headcanons too!

By the way, anon— I also have a lot of thoughts about OL2. And I love hearing people talk about these characters, so if you feel like it i’d love to hear your thoughts!

► Masterlist

► Headcanons

They’re kind of a weird pair for anyone else;

MC just… Looks scary. She looks perpetually bored and annoyed;

And even if she’s shorter than you the way she just looks up at you makes it seem like she’s looking down at you;

People just steer clear of her entirely, regardless of if they look at her in admiration for being so effortlessly cool or are terrified at being turned to stone with the intensity of her gaze;

It has always kind of been like this;

Making friends was always difficult, whether she tried to be talkative or was quieter, so at some point she just accepted this as her reality;

Well, her neighbours were a notable exception;

Tamarack and Qiu were endlessly friendly and didn’t really seem all too bothered by her intimidating appearance;

Instead, they were more than willing to keep her company;

As they grew up and MC and Tamarack became close, other people might’ve found it strange for them to still be this friendly towards each other;

When Tamarack was all soft, sweet and awkward while MC seemed like the opposite;

But it didn’t matter if they looked strange together, MC and Tamarack were always together and nothing could ever change that;

MC would sometimes take advantage of the way others perceived her;

No one would dare talk ill of Tamarack, not when she was explicitly under Mc’s protection;

And Tamarack kind of appreciated knowing that she was one of the few people who knew MC was a huge softie;

Even if she wished more people could see MC for how kind and wholesome she was instead of her intimidating appearance;

I just love the idea of Tamarack gifting MC like… Sanrio plushies and people thinking that wasn’t like MC at all;

But MC just tears up because she’s so happy;

Tamarack is also one of the few people to know that MC is a huge romantic;

And Mc would put so much effort into her confession;

It would probably be on the same date they first met and if possible, in the same place.

+ EXTRA

Tamarack could never understand how people could find MC intimidating.

Well, maybe it’s because she has known you for so long. After years of being neighbours, of seeing each other every single day, there was no way she didn’t know that Mc’s intimidating facade was just that— a façade.

Underneath the surface, she was the sweetest and most caring person Tamarack had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Completely harmless, and someone entirely deserving of the best friend title.

(Even if, secretly, Tamarack yearned for more)

Still, that was Mc’s reality. People at school either thought she was effortlessly cool, in the same cold, standoffish way that Qiu acted nowadays or just plain scary.

It was enough that people would either approach her in admiration or steer clear of her entirely. She had even heard strange rumours surrounding MC, blaming her for evil acts that Tamarack knew her incapable of doing.

Either way, people didn’t understand how Tamarack, in all her soft, round corners and pastel pinks could ever work with MC. But it didn’t matter if other people didn’t think they made sense, because, for Tamarack, they do.

It’s cold outside when Tamarack leaves her music class, pulling a scarf over her nose to try and combat the chill. She usually doesn’t have the same sensitivity to the cold as most people— as a kid she’d wear shorts in the middle of autumn, but this autumn seemed far colder than previous ones.

She easily finds MC at the entrance, leaning down to play with a cat as she waited for Tamarack’s practice to end so they could walk home together.

The cat purrs and rubs its face against the hand that Mc had stretched out. Tamarack notes the little smile gracing Mc’s features, a small tug at the corner of her lips, maybe imperceptible to anyone else, but incredibly telling to someone who knows her closely. She seems so relaxed, so peaceful as she strokes the cat’s fur, that tamarack can’t find her anything less than beautiful at that moment.

“Do you think it’s a stray?”

Tamarack says, in lieu of a greeting, adjusting the straps on her cello’s case so the weight was distributed correctly. 

“I’m guessing so. It didn’t have a collar, and no microchip as far as I can tell.” Mc’s hand travels to rub against the cat’s neck, trying to pet and feel for a microchip at the same time. “ She seems older, too…”

Tamarack notices small fur patches missing, where scars had scabbed over. She seemed thinner too— not the healthy plump bodies of the cats that usually frequented the area. 

She knew that the piano teacher would always feed the kittens that lived close by, but this one either had walked a long way to get here or wasn’t accepted by the local cats and was thereby deprived of food.

Her heart tugged at her chest as that thought crossed her mind. 

“Oh, poor thing!��� 

Tamarack approached quietly, leaning forwards and offering one of her hands for the cat to smell. It was so friendly that it approached her itself after only the slightest hesitation, sniffing her for a moment before deciding that she was a friend and was allowed to give it pets.

“I’m worried that it’ll freeze if it’s left here in the cold.” 

MC says, seriously. She seemed pleased at Tamarack and the kitten getting along well together, but that wasn’t enough to quell her worry.

“Do you know if there are any shelters nearby?”

Tamarack asks. If there was anyone who would know about local shelters, it would be MC, who’d often volunteer her time and come back talking for days about all the sweet animals she had befriended.

“Not at walking distance,” MC answered, without missing a beat. “I… want to take it home with me.”

She admits. For a moment Tamarack thinks that she’s joking, her tone as flat and serious as ever, but at a second glance, she could tell by the way her brows furrowed ever so slightly that she was serious, and had been thinking about this for a while.

It wasn’t the first time MC had declared such a thing— her love for animals and endless empathy meant that she often felt the temptation to bring strays home, but it was rare that she ever went through with it (with the expectation of a notable time at 10 when Tamarack assisted MC into sneaking a hurt puppy into her bedroom, which got them both into major trouble the next morning when the puppy was inevitably found).

“Won’t your mother get mad?”

Tamarack asks, though it’s a mere formality as the responsible friend and voice of reason. After all, there was not much she can say or do to change MC’s mind once she’d gotten an idea into her head.

She was stubborn like that, and it was one of the little things that the redhead loved about her. Just like she loved her kindness and how she was willing to do so much for the sake of doing good and helping others, even if other people wouldn’t show MC the same compassion.

“Probably, but she’ll understand once I speak to her,” MC says, resolutely. Well, MC’s mother could be a little strict, but she was reasonable. “We can take it somewhere safe later. I just want to make sure that it will be okay right now.”

MC takes off her scarf to wrap it around the cat, fussing a little to make sure it’s comfortable in her hold and isn’t too stressed out by her sudden actions.

But it’s surprisingly calm, like it knows, like Tamarack, that as long as they stick with MC they’re in safe hands.

Tamarack coos at the cat on MC’s hold, and MC seems so proud of herself and her decision.

MC gets up from where she was crouched on the ground, stopping to make sure that the cat was okay with the change in perspective, and motioned her head to tamarack slightly, signalling that she was ready to go.

They start their path home together, the same one they’ve walked through a hundred times over, but it somehow feels different right now. Maybe because MC is cradling a scarred cat this time, or maybe because Tamarack’s feelings for her crush seemed to have changed— the warmth and gentle fluttering she’d become used to becoming so overwhelming she couldn’t really focus on anything else aside from her own heartbeat.

“It’s going to be okay. I’ll take care of you, and if I’m not able to do it for long I’ll make sure you go to a good home.” Mc says, her voice low and comforting “You’re so kind, you deserve not to feel lonely anymore.” Tamarack could be indecisive— not yet having figured out how exactly she fit into the world, but the one thing that she was certain of was that the MC, with all her compassion and sweetness, would never, ever feel lonely as long as she was around.

[riastarthe]

i did an interview yday and i sort of touched on this but not all of it, so i'm sharing these notes

i draw and write what i do because i want my work to look like me and i want to see me in it.

i'm not good at letting gender be a "vibe" or a "moodboard", intangible like that. in fact "my gender is __ even though i don't look like it, yeah it's my ‘aesthetic’" is pretty distressing for me. lack of embodiment and living exclusively thru projection/formless reflection is distressing. the queerness and queer sex i was formatively exposed to and gravitated toward was... classic, hard, hairy, leathery and even difficult to pin down with titles but still highly physical, or elicited that response/impulse in me. a lot of memories are lost to me and i don't know how to recover them— and so much time spent without another soul to reflect on it. i remember the first internet porno spam i saw. leafing thru erotic coffee table erotica. European comics about bears and twinks hooking up on the Mediterranean. Blixa Bargeld's strap-on harness. wet messy yaoi. but little for me to Be, in a real way.

it's so fucked and also only a teeny tiny example of a far bigger thing but i'll always remember when i first posted a picture of myself on deviantart, i think i was like 15 or 16, and people were like "oh i expected someone skinnier." this clearly really stayed with me, and it isn't an outlier. although it didn't shift anything then, things like this built up over time and my relationship to/presence in my work very slowly evolved. socially and in school, from the top down or among peers, there was no incentive or encouragement to draw trans people, fat people, anyone outside of stock shit, at all. you could work and labour and be rewarded for breaking yourself in half, all the while it's happening in a viciously transphobic environment. 

over the years things have changed for better and worse as we pursue "representation" and "visibility," but i was really burnt by fluctuations in online culture that lead to trans men having to Be One Thing with either proper scars and muscle, or a textureless circle, and the sex they have is supposed to be smooth and tearful and deferential in service to the man or woman— or image of masculinity/femininity— they're with. and you still get fucking harasses for venturing outside of this, both in the work and as a real living person. i'd rather just be called a woman or a slur because at least that's an honest reaction, and not this cruelty, pity, disguised as care.

however, i also want to say that i was never given the benefit of the doubt that i was sweet and small and shy. there are the benefits of whiteness, certainly. but not transness. i've never been treated that way or protected by it. not with friends or family or police or the court. i don't think "sweetness" is neutral or that it's the most pressing issue that trans men face. being ill is its own strange degendering or forcibly gendered experience. being fat and ugly is its own degendering experience in which i have more in common with fat people of all genders. being seen as violent, visibility of transition only increasing this baseless expectation, that you can turn on a dime, that it's all harm or just plain difficulty waiting to happen and that's justification for being treated as an unreliable narrator of your own needs, your own life, that you need to rein it in or someone needs to control you to set you right. and that most of this is not seen, is a bigger problem than this strange idea of sweetness, this strange idea of being protected by your transness. protected by your assigned birth. do not remind me of my assigned birth. i'm trans because i'm not that. the people who DO benefit from protection in life, their visibility is like, completely disproportionate versus the reality.

if it is as big an issue as they say, then i think about like... if children are the most vulnerable people then being seen as a permanent and incapable child— especially at the intersection of things like fatness and neurodivergence, for example, where you're seen as untrustworthy, clearly can't take care of yourself— as property, but also as a womb, as a body for taking, facing domestic, sexual, medical abuse and neglect, homelessness and forced hospitalisation... death. revulsion, abuse and murder aren't the results of supposed smol beanification. it feels so mythological to me. so yeah i wasn't aware this was the way other people characterised us til mid-2010s tumblr— in which i learned in past tense that there was some pervasive way of handling us. i admit there are times i certainly would've liked to have been protected. but this idea of meek non-threatening sweetness (and, perhaps, wielding that like a threat when convenient) fell completely flat to me and many of my friends, especially ones working-class and nonwhite, or mentally ill in socially unacceptable ways, or with bodies seen as too sexual or built too big... so, aggressive, ha ha.

so i don't show this in my art either, not currently. it's alien. it is a concept i'm aware of only thru a game of telephone.

i show trans men being misgendered and deadnamed and pushed and pulled, the dressage, touched and beaten and abandoned. i've been told that portraying the real things we go through is tantamount to me committing those very same hate crimes and i've been told my work just has a “bad vibe” on sight. yes i do show trans men being punished from all sides despite every effort to ping pong between everyone's preferences. the exhaustion of trying over and over only to fail to please and suffer the consequences of abstaining, or giving themselves over to the performance forever until they burn out. art is play the way leather is play. and in my work trans men can be found both suffering from and playing with roles and expectations, the violence, reenacting these sources of trauma among each other.

[morgana-ren]

I have sent you a truly embarrassing number of anon asks over the last two months and you have been so creative and kind in every one of your answers. I found your blog and it really means a lot to know that there are other people out there with a similarly f'd up relationship to sex. Makes me feel a bit less like a broken freak. You don't need to respond to this if you don't want to, I just wanted to let you know.

Honestly, I love it. That's the trouble with OCs is there isn't a fandom or like.. somewhere you can turn to when you want to indulge. The entire thing rests on people who know them and are interested in them. If I want to read about Reaver, I can (sorta, anyway, because his fandom is dead and all the stories are mostly long gone) but it's not my Reaver. Ilya and Corvus just have nothing but what me and my friend write. Astarion is currently being dissected by the fandom and it's vastly different than what I'm looking for (even as I love doing that too.)

What I'm saying is I love the questions. It's a lot of fun to think about them and these specific scenarios and I got really lucky that I have people who take an interest. I genuinely want to get to all of the questions at some point, and I'm running through them with love. I genuinely have a lot of fun answering them and I love seeing questions about them. I think it's really cool and fun that people care and enjoy them like we do! It's fantastic to see because sometimes a new hyperfixation or character is a fuckin' lifesaver and I will never turn down making new content when my head isn't working to make it originally.

I've known I was 'busted' since I was really young, and in a way, it's the healthiest thing about me. I've had time to break it down. I recognize where these desires come from, why I feel them, and where they're initially stemming from, and I know it is absolutely not something you put up with irl. I know that me liking people like this isn't some grand statement on me as a whole, but a fantasy that stems out from my experiences. I accept it. I don't feel bad about it or really feel a need to explain it. People can think it's gross or unhealthy or whatever else have you if it makes them feel better, but I am sure of myself and know it doesn't make me a bad person. It just is. It's never something we have to justify. Most people who grill you or are cruel to you have legitimately no idea what they're talking about. I've been a darkfic author for long enough to see the ridiculous fandom wars that arise over dumb shit like this where people sling shit baselessly despite knowing nothing.

I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying it because I have seen what people have to say about the matter and like, from a psychological standpoint, they are completely incorrect. I went to school for this. It was my dream career for a long time. Most people just say shit but don't actually understand the processes behind it. They operate on gut instinct and that gut instinct is immediately "Disgust" if they cannot relate. But instead of having compassion and trying to be supportive or trying to understand or just leaving us alone, they lash out because they are physically incapable of putting themselves in our shoes and feel they have 'morality' on their side, and that allows them to act like amoral twats towards other human beings, ironically enough.

It has a way of making us feel broken or bad or just not like a good person. When you're beset on all sides and you know your interests are strange or that something isn't quite healthy, it's easy to fall into that pit. But nothing is ever so simple, especially with the human brain and growing and learning and becoming a person. It hasn't bothered me in a long time and honestly, it is so, so freeing. I'm totally fine with it. I don't feel guilt or shame. It just is. Other people can think it's odd, but I've always been odd. No big shocker there.

Sex is complicated! It can have a remarkable impact on the brain! Humans are fragile while also being incredibly resilient. Sometimes things scar us, and that's okay. Sometimes we develop strange desires. Sometimes we end up with warped ideas. It's normal and okay, and really, there isn't any 100 percent sure fire healthy way to deal with things. For some, it's fantasy. For others, complete abstinence. Some people choose to never unpack it at all. The important thing is knowing your boundaries and the ways you should be treated in real life. Never letting someone hurt you or step on you or disrespect you. Your body and your desires are your own entirely and what others have to say means nothing. They will treat you with respect or you have all rights to completely cut them out and off.

Knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is the biggest thing, and it's a line I see people blurring or incapable of seeing every day and that is legitimately scary. It's important to look at things and understand yourself. Know that it's okay. You're just you, and that's not wrong or broken or disgusting. People have a very hard time understanding other people's perspectives and they really like to make that everyone else's problem. Don't let it get you down.

There's tons of us out there. It isn't nearly as uncommon as they'd have you believe. Hell, it's not even as unhealthy as they'd have you think. It's okay to be okay with it. It's okay to embrace it as long as you are putting boundaries up in your every day life and are good to yourself. That is what is truly important.

Thank you so much and I appreciate every single message you send. I haven't gotten a single inbox I've disliked or didn't find fascinating and they're always a pleasure to answer. Always feel free to send me anything!

[hellsurvivr]

Chandni and Deeks

*      ―    ﴾  𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴  ﴿ // still accepting ( @mythosisms )

who is more likely to hurt the other?

neither. im sorry but these two are just incapable of hurting the other. like I don't even think we could make em do it if we tried.

who is emotionally stronger?

i'd say deeks. but that's only because he's learned how to process and shut them down. and how to turn them into a strength and not a weakness .

who is physically stronger?

erm ofc deeks with his muscles kinda wins out. not that chandni minds she uses his muscles.

who is more likely to break a bone? 

deeks. he's a bloody idiot, so ya know getting himself hurt and his bones broken kinda comes with the territory.

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

tbh i don't think either do. because chandni isn't going to upset deeks, and well deeks doesn't have it in his heart to hurt chandni. he just physically can't bring himself to upset her. hence letting her talk his ear off, all the time.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? 

deeks. he's male, and can be an ass sure. but he also has a heart and he will apologise first after an argument. it's just the way he's wired.

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

chandni treats deeks. going back to my above statement, deeks is an idiot and gets himself hurt. so chandni has to do the patching up.

who is in constant need of comfort? 

i'd say both. i mean theyve both gone through some really testing shit, and need to be comforted in some way. of course seeks is a lot less open to it at first. and would rather comfort chandni than let her comfort him. at first

who gets more jealous? 

deeks. look he's not blind, he sees the way people look at her, and for that he will most definitely get jealous of people looking. and if he gets violent then well, that's on them for staring too long.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

neither. sorry i can't see them doing it. it's not in their natures.

who will propose? 

deeks. he's old school okay. he will propose and it will be ina way he's managed to gather from little hints she's dropped and just yep he'd make it perfect.

who has the most difficult parents?

i'd go with chandni. but let's not forget chandni's 'father' who will end up getting shot by deeks, or torn apart. which ever he's in the mood for.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

both. both are comforted by the little touch.

who comes up for the other all the time? 

both. there is nothing that would stop either of them being there for each other. literally any time, any day. no questions asked.

who hogs the blankets? 

chandni. Deeks doesn't need them so he throws them off him. meaning they're chandni's.

who gets more sad? 

chandni. mostly because deeks doesn't show it. he does, just not that often. so this one is more chandni.

who is better at cheering the other up? 

deeks. he might not look it, but this man knows just the thing you need. a hug, a comforting meal, a movie. whatever he knows and will do it.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

chandni. sorry it ain't deeks' style.

who is more streetwise?

deeks. mostly because that's his world. he knows how to work it and how to survive within in.

who is more wise?

both. they're both wise in different ways. they have their strengths and weaknesses, which compliment each other.

who’s the shyest? 

deeks. not literally, but because he's not the biggest fan of people, or certain situations. he'll stand silently, which makes it seem like he's shy.

who boasts about the other more? 

both. they both boast about the other in different ways. nothing will stop them showing off their other halves. they love it.

who sits on who’s lap? 

chandni sits on deeks. she runs that shit like it's her throne.

[pancakesandpessimism]

Hey. Hey, remember Eda in season 1?

Remember how she clearly didn’t put much, if any, thought into agreeing to teach Luz magic? Remember how it took days of begging and eventual bribery before Eda showed Luz her first spell, or explained how magic works for witches? Remember how she clearly hadn’t considered the implications of mentoring someone without a bile sac, and didn’t seem to have a plan beyond showing Luz spells that she was physically incapable of replicating and hoping for the best? Remember how she openly laughed (in King’s own words mean-spiritedly) at Luz when she got excited about possibly being ‘the chosen one’? Remember how she didn’t seem to think twice about putting incredibly dangerous traps around an arena two teenagers would be fighting in despite the fact that either girl could have been severely hurt (or in King’s case KILLED) by them? Remember how she initially tried to discourage Luz from even trying to attend Hexside because of her own beliefs about the school system, even though Luz was clearly interested and obviously wanted more education than Eda was (and could) give her alone?

Remember the first time Eda recognized Luz doubting herself and her place on the Isles? Remember her understanding exactly what Luz needed in that moment, AKA a pep-talk, a gentle reality check about the concept of chosen ones, a promise, and a new perspective of the Isles that Eda knew Luz would find beautiful? Remember how she willingly spent a whole day filling out paperwork and undoing her teenage-self’s handiwork despite hating every second of it because she recognized that Hexside was better equipped to help Luz’s growth as a witch then she was on her own? Remember her in Adventures in the Elements, trying so freaking hard to help Luz take the next step in a journey that she didn’t understand much better than Luz did, but had worked hard to try figuring out for Luz’s sake? Remember how she started spending her free time researching older forms of magic in the hopes of MAYBE finding information that could help her teach Luz? Remember her patience despite Luz’s obvious skepticism and eventual disobedience on the Knee? Her immediate praise for Luz managing to discover her second glyph all on her own even though she’d almost gotten Eda eaten by a monster ~10 minutes prior? Remember how she spent Grom stressing because she understood what Luz’s capabilites were at the time and was concerned she was expecting too much from herself and would get hurt physically, mentally, or emotionally during the fight, despite originally planning to do nothing but relax and have fun? Remember how she was 100% ready to face a monster that displays your worst fears to everyone watching, despite having very good personal reasons to be concerned about doing so, without so much as an ‘I told you so’ because what Luz needed at that moment wasn’t a lecture, it was someone supporting her when she was faced with something she wasn’t properly prepared to handle, and letting her know it was okay that she couldn’t do it yet because Eda would be there to help until she was ready?

Remember how she started this series as an irresponsible, negligent teacher? Remember watching her learn and grow as a mentor over the course of the show, gradually taking more kids under her wing (hah) as she went until she became someone that every member of the Hexsquad who’s spent more than 30 minutes with her trusts implicitly and looks to for guidance and support during times of crisis, and who several kids who aren’t part of the main squad (ex. Edric and Emira) respect in a similar way?

Remember this expression from I Was a Teenage Abomination? Her genuine surprise and shock, almost disbelief, at being considered a good teacher? 

Look at her now.

[terrible-twst-oc-ideas]

3 Terrible Three Questions - Unique Magic Edition

Question 1: What is your Unique Magic, and what does it do? 

🌰 “It’s called ‘Lover’s Favor.’ I can take any object – let’s say, oh, a hairbrush– and give it to someone, with the instruction that it be returned to me by a certain time. This can be a vague time period, like two weeks from now, or more specific, like Monday the 15th at 4:30PM. No matter what date I set though, the object will always find its way back to me on that deadline – usually through the person it was given to. The affected objects radiate a passive, compulsory force, making the assigned person want to return them by the date. Though, that’s not always the case – the spell does have a failsafe, where if not delivered to me, they’ll simply reappear, usually on my doorstep or in my bag. It’s always a shame when that happens, especially when I cast it specifically in the hopes of meeting someone again, but, alas. No good relationship was ever perfectly engineered.”

🎶 “I call it ‘Enthralling Lament’. Whenever I play music, and whenever I wish for it to come into effect, it causes anyone who hears my playing to become fully entranced by the song. No talking, no distractions, not even other thoughts: their full attention becomes wholly placed on me and my music. While someone is within this trance, they’re also put into a more heightened state of suggestion, allowing me to somewhat influence their thoughts and actions, however vaguely. I… may have used this power to convince the dorm head to let me practice during late-night hours once or twice. But as far as you know, that’s hearsay.”

🏹 “Mine’s called ‘Golden Pelt’. When I fire it up, it not only makes me even stronger and more resilient than normal, but it also protects me from physical attacks and damage. Bruises, scratches, even broken bones– can’t get a thing while it’s active! Though, it only works for a minute tops, and I gotta wait for all the blot to dry up before I can use it again. I guess fate decided a Unique Magic as great as mine needed a serious handicap.”

Question 2: How did you discover your Unique Magic?

🌰 “It was during middle school. There was this… guy, I was seeing at the time, but he told me he lived a good way’s away. I was worried about being able to see him again, so, I steadily crafted my Unique Magic to guarantee that I would always have a way to draw him back to me – without outright forcing it, of course. There’s no romance in that. Though, by the time I finally perfected it… well… let’s just say, the romance fell apart. Of course, my Unique Magic has its uses outside of why it was created, but it still upsets me that I haven’t yet used it for its intended purpose.”

🎶 “It was honestly a bit of a surprise. No one in my family was a mage, and since I wasn’t born with the ability to use it, I initially believed I was incapable of performing magic altogether. That was, until I composed my first actual performance piece, a wonderfully haunting lament. I had spent weeks perfecting it, and I wanted everyone who heard it to be as enthralled by it as I was. Only, when I played it… I found that my audience was all quite literally enthralled. I experimented some more, and discovered that I could induce this state with any song I played, so long as I desired it to happen. It was around this time that one of my teachers realized I was a mage, and recommended me for magic school. I’ve refined it further since then, and gave it the name “Enthralling Lament” in honor of its origin.

🏹 “It was during a bout of wrestling as a kid. The neighborhood kids had turned it into a contest, and I really wanted to win. Unfortunately, there was this one kid who liked to claw people to win, and he’d argue the rules so much it was easier to just let him have his way. It came down to me and him, and when he started clawing at me, all I could think about was pushing through the pain and coming out on top– and suddenly, I felt this huge rush of adrenaline. His claws felt like nothing, and I pinned him like it was nothing too. Didn’t realize it was magic until I got home, and couldn’t find any scratch marks on me. Man, I was so excited to tell my folks about it… well. At least the other kids treated me like royalty for a week.”

Question 3: Does your Unique Magic have any special conditions or quirks?

🌰 “My Unique Magic only works if I kiss the object it’s casted on first. It acts as a sort of indicator – a clear mark of what object should receive the enchantment. Although, it does limit what objects I can cast it on. I’m not willing to put my mouth on everything.”

🎶 “I can only use my Unique Magic while playing music. That’s somewhat of a given considering its nature, though it does limit its versatility. I should also note that, while it does produce a heightened state of suggestibility, this is not true hypnosis or mind control. I can more easily persuade someone to act a certain way, but I can not force them to do anything. In fact, I’ve observed that quite a few people are actively resistant to my attempts at coercion.”

🏹 “It can’t protect me from other spells. Believe me, I’ve tried, but I’ve never been able to pull it off. I guess even the greatest abilities still can’t be perfect…” 

~~

As you can see, your faithful mod’s been thinking a lot about the Terrible Three’s Unique Magics lately, so I also decided to include some additional trivia and their incantations as well!

Trivia:

-Delano’s magic was inspired by depictions of courtly love in various Arthurian legends. In particular, there was a trope of a lady giving an object to her favorite knight before he set out on a journey or fought in a battle, with the promise that it would return unharmed – and, by implication, that he would return safely as well.

-Lionel’s magic of course comes from the Nemean Lion’s famous golden fur, which was impervious to all forms of attack. Fun fact, this is also why Lionel has so much arrow-shaped jewelry and is into archery: in the original myth, Hercules initially tried and failed to kill the lion with arrows.

-Piper’s magic isn’t directly based on any one ability of Forte’s, but more so the idea of those abilities: manipulating people into wanting to stay and appreciate his musical talents – and by extension, him – for as long as possible. Also, I couldn’t settle on any exact rules for how the music-based semi-tangible illusions Forte uses in the movie would work as a Unique Magic, so I decided to go for something more symbolic instead.

Incantations:

🌰 “My beloved, heed my wish. Take this object, and keep it well. Promise it will return unscathed. Lover’s Favor.”

🏹 “My gold will never tarnish! Victory is mine! Golden Pelt!”

🎶 “Let your troubles fade away. Let your sorrows be soothed by my song. Let my music become your heart’s very keeper! Enthralling Lament!”

[misanthropicvampire]

6. 13. 14. 16. 30. 43.

<3

sexy.

Age you get mistaken for? - varies wildly and depends who's doing the mistaking. when I was younger I was able to pass as 16-18 because of my height, now most people get my age right except particularly hammered bar dwellers who assume that I'm in uni. fake id serves me well

Biggest turn ons? - I'm assuming that the answer here should be different from what I find most attractive (physically) in a man/woman so. submissiveness, obviously. but also a willingness not to be easily pushed around, some amount of conflict/resistance. I like people that I'm able to fluster and that can be easily embarrassed, masochistic tendencies, eager to explore new spaces and trusts my judgement. I'm very attracted to people who don't play it cool/hard to get and are open about when they want something and how much they want it - nothing that's more of a turn on than someone who isn't ashamed to be a little desperate

Biggest turn offs? - over-apologeticness and the need to hide whatever we do out of shame. fickleness, constantly changing their mind about what they want out of our encounters, extreme jealousy/possessiveness that prevents me from having my freedom, jumping the gun and assuming that certain actions = certain commitments without discussing it with me first, engaging in petty relationship dramatics

I'll love you if... you respect my need for a private life and making my own decisions, you neither idealise nor demonise me and accept my good and bad aspects as essential parts of my personality. you take a genuine interest in my passions instead of engaging me only out of politeness. you have a flexible perspective of the world and consider different viewpoints/take on board new insights. you don't play mindgames and are very direct with how you feel and what you want/don't want. you let me play a protective role and know that I do this not because I think you're incapable, but because it's how I best connect with others and demonstrate that I care

What I hate the most about work/school? - of many things, the expectation to obey without question and the assumption that authority figure's viewpoints are the only correct ones/that I'm too uneducated to have a worthy perspective

Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately? - while I'm exclusively attracted to women in my real life the number of attractive female characters/celebrities that I can list off the top of my head is appallingly low. coming immediately to mind is trent reznor in the '90s when he'd throw himself around the stage floor in next to nothing sweating bullets and screaming lyrics along the lines of being beaten and cut up

[sarahoh]

[ seol in-ah, cis female, she/her ]  - was that SARAH OH i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the TWENTY-SEVEN year old who has been in nightrest for HER WHOLE LIFE and works as A BAKER AT THE DAILY DOSE has a reputation of being EXCITABLE, but also OVERDRAMATIC. she resides in ASHMORE & people in town usually associate her with THE SMELL OF PASTRIES WAFTING THROUGH THE WINDOW, CHIRPING BIRDS BRIGHT AND EARLY ON A WEEKDAY MORNING, and FINGERS FLYING ACROSS A PHONE KEYBOARD TOO FAST TO SEE. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after her next. 

[ penned by sen, 18+, they/them, cst / gmt-6 ][graphics template by eternal summer]

BASICS: FULL NAME: Sarah Jae Oh NICKNAMES: None DATE OF BIRTH: 1996.xx.xx AGE: 27 HOMETOWN: Nightrest, MA ORIENTATION: Straight GENDER: Cis female, she/her ETHNICITY: Korean OCCUPATION: Baker

PHYSICAL: FACECLAIM: Seol In-ah HEIGHT: 5'6" / 167cm BUILD: Thin, short SKIN: Pale HAIR: Dark brown EYES: Dark brown EXTRAS: None

PERSONALITY: + traits: Excitable, peppy - traits: Dramatic, not the brightest, somewhat snooty

BACKGROUND:

She grew up in a wealthy family in Stoughton Estates; her parents having been the heads of a huge tech company. She was always fairly close to her older brother, but didn't get along with her older sister much, and they butted heads quite frequently. She wasn't close to her parents—her father was always working or taking business calls, she barely saw him. And her mother just annoyed her.

Early on in life, she was known as the golden child when it came to their family's social life (though that label faded quickly)—which never quite made sense to Sarah, as she couldn't stand it, and her older sister was better at it, anyway (unless she isn't-?). Her mother was very involved in the rich people social circles and cliques and even tried on multiple occasions to drag Sarah into it. That is, until the younger girl rebelled (unintentionally) by "creating a scene" (spilling a drink on a rich person) at a party. She was (to her absolute dismay) forbidden from going to any more events after that.

Sarah, of course, didn't give a fuck and continued to do things around school and the house. She was the head of the student government at Wardwell for two consecutive years, and therefore had to host all of the fundraisers and such—one of them being a bake sale. With her mother refusing to help (under the guise that she needed to learn how to do it herself—mostly she just didn't want to help), she threw herself in headfirst, getting her hands dirty and preparing for the event.

She had so much fun with the bake sale that she decided she wanted to do baking full-time, applying herself to culinary school full-force. Her mother (unsurprisingly) didn't approve of this job, so Sarah moved out at 20, buying a house in Ashmore to get away from them. They're still in contact, to Sarah's constant dismay, and she ignores her mother whenever possible.

Hasn’t ever really had a boyfriend, or a fling—though she’s had plenty of crushes. Her mother used to try and set her up on dates, but she weaseled out of them, not interested in the whole fancy dinner thing. Her mother gave up pretty quickly.

Her grades were never the best, being nearly boringly average the whole way through high school. She excelled in extracurriculars, not academics. It was no secret that school was not her favorite place, and she'd generally prefer to be anywhere else.

HEADCANONS:

super friendly, loved by everyone (in a way), which is how she usually ended up stuck in the middle of society. really, she just wants to bake her little pastries in peace. more of an introvert than an extrovert, just a really talkative one.

she's just a bit...dense, socially. really incapable of picking up on when people are flirting with her.

probably definitely needed jake to tutor her in math at least once because when i tell you she barely passed that class-

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

people that know her from high school and don't like her

people that know her from high school and do like her

friends (for the love of god)

people she can crush on

people that have a crush on her (she won't notice, believe me)

[scavenger98]

You know, every time I’ve gone into a part of life where I had more to do, more demands on my time and mental capacity to plan and remember and deliver on competence, there’s been an annoyingly long period where it was far, far worse than I could ever have imagined.

Losing recess was worse than I ever imagined it would be. I’m ADHD enough that sitting still with nothing interesting to do is a clawing, squeezing irritation of the soul, and having no time whatsoever to get any of that energy out, to imagine and just not be learning about math and science I’d already learned was fucking terrible.

And then I got used to it. I got used to school being an annoying, dragging ordeal most of the time and forgot I’d ever looked forward to going there.

Not every movement up in life has been like that, going to high school and college were both really cool at first because I tend to make good first impressions via some pretty heavy masking and I crave positive attention but am physically incapable of requesting it so those were really fun times. And quite frankly teachers always overhype the stages of education beyond theirs in my experience. But moving past formal education, out of college, through two unplanned years of staying with my parents into actually being an adult in the world with a job and a place I live that’s mine and bills to pay and groceries to buy and the world burning down around me with ideas how to help but no energy to spare on researching the practicalities of that. God I’m working one part-time job, barely anything by the general societal standard, and yet I’m feeling distinctly Bilbo about all this. There is not enough of me to cover the bread of my life.

And I’m already starting to adapt. I’m numbing to my own annoyance at having one day out of the week to actually work on my personal needs and my hobbies. I’m numbing to barely speaking to my family because they’re all halfway across a continent. I’m long since numb to the fact that I barely see friends who live in the same damn city because we all have completely different schedules and barely any energy to spare to schedule something.

I suspect someday when I have a driver’s license I’ll spend a couple months despising commuting to work with every fiber of my being before learning to ignore that too.

And I don’t think this is what growing up is. I know it isn’t a perfect progression toward some brighter existence where I’m perfectly functional and happy with my place in society, I doubt that’s ever been a reasonable expectation at any point in human history. But just interacting with worse and worse states of being over and over forever until I die, having spent my time spinning my wheels because the alternative is getting swallowed by the mud?

God, there’s got to be more to being a grown person than that.