#school work and being physically incapable of doing it when i know i need to

[everythingmp3]

being farmer!Van’s younger lover - headcanons 𐙚 🌾

I couldnt get the idea of her as a farmer out of my head, so here are all the thoughts I had while imagining, mostly what she’d be like with a lover! I dont know much about the actual life of a farmer, so I kept her activities rather vague, it’s more about the vibe and the fantasy of it all, you get the idea <3 hope u enjoy

warnings: the second half of this is nsfw! some very brief mentions of substance abuse/addiction

her backstory:

(feel free to skip this intro if you just want the main plot)

she moved to NYC after high school, broke, not in college, unsure what to do but too stubborn to give up on her dream to live in the city she had idealized since she childhood, so she fought and bled for her right to stay, worked many bone-crushing jobs, got into friend groups with people who were also just trying to survive, which worked out in her favor for a while, but. eventually she got into the wrong kind of drugs and fell off, partying instead of working, getting fired from one job after the other, barely scraping by, somehow cheating her way out of ruin again and again, sleeping on friends couches, until she was in her mid-twenties and couldnt take it anymore, physically, spiritually, so she and her girl at the time packed their things and moved the country-side in the south, dreaming of a quiet, normal, mundane life, hoping and praying for some respite

at first, they managed, but the relationship was crumbling due to Vans refusal to address her substance abuse issues and her overall disregard for her health, her hermit lifestyle of only going to work so she could come back home and crash, so eventually they broke up, dramatically so, her ex screaming at her that she had to get her shit together or she’d die before hitting 30, which did wake her up - it hurt like hell but she knew it was true - Van was tired of everything, people, cities, even small towns, she didnt wanna see or talk to anyone, so she looked for jobs that would allow her to shut down and be quiet, which she found: an older couple, in their 50s, was looking for help at their farm nearby, in exchange for a spare room, so it was settled: she packed a few things and showed up at their door ready to leave her entire life behind and just be a pair of helping hands

she got lucky. the man and woman who ran the farm - which would be hers one day - immediately showed her a parental kind of tough love when they realized how desperately Van needed help and guidance, they didnt make her talk about it, but they could tell that she was recovering from some heavy shit, so they gave her a very clear schedule and made her stick to it, even when she was tired or grumpy, they gave her clear instructions and made her work with the animals a lot because they knew the effect that kind of contact can have on a suffering person

sure enough, Van blossomed after an initial period of disciplining her body, eating better, and growing stronger each day, it took a good amount of sweat and tears to settle in, but after a few weeks she adjusted and found out that she was much better at physical labor than she´d assumed, her stubborn streak came in handy, she pushed and pushed herself until the tasks came more easily to her. she also went to AA meetings in the area on and off, whenever she felt like she needed some extra help to stay sober

once the couple both neared their mid 60s, they were so close to Van that leaving the farm in her hands only felt natural, they didnt have any children of their own, so she was the closest thing to a daughter they ever got and trusted her to take care of their beloved spot of land well and to eventually leave it to someone else whod keep that tradition up as well (at first she felt unworthy, incapable, but they convinced her and urged her to do whatever she pleased with her little spot in the world, expressing how grateful they were for the years shed spent with them, having given them a chance to feel like someones parents later in life)

Van decided to work with groups that use animal therapy to help people who are in a tough spot in one way or another, people in rehab or people who deal with either mental or physical pain that might be eased for while by having close contact to horses - she knows first-hand what caring for animals can do for a person who is struggling with self-worth, shame, or chronic pain, so she always makes a point of inviting those groups to her farm, making it a safe haven in a way, she also lets riding instructors teach their classes there

she makes money by letting people keep their horses in the stables, taking care of them, so people can come by whenever they want to ride them, she also sells some of her produce to surrounding farmers markets, its not a ton of money but more than enough to get by and live a comfortable life

how you started dating

your college town is near her farm and you decided to stay there during summer because the season is beautiful out there and its enough for you to back to your hometown for a few weeks during August before the next semester starts

one day you were a bit reckless and walked out further beyond the town limits than you usually did because the weather was so nice and you wanted to see some some pretty fields, but you underestimated the heat and had to take a break somewhere because you were afraid you might pass out and couldnt just turn around and walk all the way back

the tree you decided to take shelter under for a moment was right at the entrance of Vans farm and she come out to check on you because she saw you sitting there in the midday heat and got worried that something was wrong or that someone might have ditched you by the side of the road, since she wasnt used to having strangers wandering around out there

you were a bit embarrassed at first when she she said "hey there, you okay?" but you she was sweet from the get-go, joking around a bit, asking you what on earth made you come out there in that intense weather, gently chastising you for your lack of drinks and snacks, she ended up urging you to come inside and rest and cool down, to eat and drink something so you could regain your strength before going back home

you got along immediately, it took less than a few minutes for you to talk about anything and everything as she prepared some iced coffee, iced tea, and fresh blueberry pancakes for you - you told her again and again that she was being way too nice but Van insisted and told you that she spent more than enough time on her own, so once you werent hungry or thirsty anymore and seemed more lively again, she gave you a tour of and introduced you to her cats which was a sure way to get you to stay for longer (maybe that was calculated on her part)

after a while of you laughing and enjoying your time together, she offered to drive you back to your place and gave you a little pot of homemade jam to try as a parting gift, a raspberry vanilla mix that tasted divine and was your breakfast of choice for the coming days. as you said goodbye that night in the car parked outside your house she said "come by whenever you want, really, you dont even have to ring, just walk around to the porch and I will be around somewhere" which felt like flirting, not just southern hospitality, so you promised that you would take her up on it, your skin tingling where her arms rested when you said goodbye, her voice a bit strained when she told you goodbye, as if she was flustered from embracing someone that way, a sign that it had been a while maybe, a sudden rush of hope on your part that she wasnt seeing anyone, that you werent delusional to think that she might have been less friendly with strangers who didnt intrigue her, who werent as easy on the eyes to her..

she’d confess to you a while later that she didnt give you her number or asked for yours because she knew that shes a horrible texter and enjoyed the idea of being surprised by another visit by you, she also liked the vibe of leaving the ball entirely in your court, the fact that she had no way of reaching out to you and had to trust that you would keep your connection going (this same energy is palpable whenever she waits for you to come and touch her, she loves pushing your patience to make you initiate intimacy, even when its just a hug, thats her preferred way of teasing)

for the next few days you couldnt get her out of your head and kept clinging to the memory of how hot shed looked: dressed in a white tank-top and jeans that were cut off at the knee, working boots and white socks, her bronzed heavily freckles skin glowing in the midday sun, just like her wavy hair that seemed to burn like flames in that light, her cheeks and lips rosy from the heat, her voice raspy and low, her calves toned, just like her shoulders and arms... you remembered how your knees had touched when you sat outside on the steps together for a moment, how your fingers had brushed when shed handed you a glass, how shed looked at you while you ate the food shed made you, attentive, curious, and intense, like she was holding something back, the same way you had been. it was torture. you couldnt stop obsessing over every little look shed given you, everything shed said, reading into all of it until you were certain you werent just imagining the instant chemistry

after a few days of holding back, you couldnt wait any longer and went back to her place, and just as you stepped into her house it started thundering and pouring rain, which immediately made the atmosphere intimate and private as she lit some candles and put on all the warm orange tinted lamps to offer a contrast to the dark storm outside - you played it cool at first, but it was clear that you hadnt just come back for no reason, and the tension made both of you a little nervous at first, thrilled too though, pleased by the sense of "she feels the same way, doesnt she?"

one thing lead to another, some jokes at first, then more earnest words, you confessing "I thought of you a lot the past few days, you were so sweet to me" her brushing it off "basic decency" you caving and coming to sit next to her, a pleading look on your face, a bit of fear on hers, held breaths, beating hearts, soft eyes, you taking the leap, kissing her eagerly until she gently broke it and needed a second to breathe, to calm her burning nerves, so you told her to keep touching you, to just keep her hands on you, so she did, grabbing at you until she was ready to continue, dying to - a switch flipped in her when she felt you going slack in her embrace, sighing from the feel of her palms on your back, your arms, your face, a bruising kiss from her that quickly turned into more and more and until your clothes were scattered next to the couch and the rain kept clashing against the windows as you got lost in each other, kissing and touching and grinding up against each other, making each other come just from a few touches, using your burst of passion and intense sensitivity to each others presence to keep going and going, finally ending up in her bed, making out for ages, taking turns making each other moan and surrender

that night you slept over and the next morning you laughed about how cliché it was for her to invite you to move in for the summer before even having gone on a proper date, but! you couldnt have cared less, you were so overjoyed at the idea, both of you agreeing that it would be unnecessary to make you take the drive over to her place every day (she had no idea what got into her when she just straight up asked you if you wanted her to help you get some of your stuff so you could stay with her as long as you wanted because it had been so long since shed: a) had anything romantic going on b) had sex with someone and c) didnt shudder at the idea of sharing her space with a lover, quite the opposite, that first morning she woke up to the sight of you there in her bed, all peaceful and content and warm to the touch, she wondered how shed gone all those years without it

sfw

Van quickly comes to love the feeling of never knowing when she might turn a corner and see you laying in the sun on a blanket, in your bikini or underwear, tanning, or reading, or napping - she always stops in her tracks and takes a moment to just look at you while youre blissfully unaware, until the urge to touch takes over - unlike others, shed never think its funny to startle you by splashing water on you or taking your headphones off or anything, shes as gentle as possible, always, either lowering herself until she can press a soft kiss to your back, or picking a flower to lightly sweep over your arm <3 you usually pull her down onto the blanket and get all over her to keep her from walking away and continuing her work, which shes helpless against, shes never denied you, not once, always caving

loveees seeing you in her clothes! when you put a flannel of hers over your shoulders if it gets a bit chilly at night, or when you jokingly try on her working boots, she lets you steal whatever you want from her wardrobe and has a particular thing for seeing you in jeans of hers that are a bit too lose on you because theyre worn out, when you kneel down and she can see your underwear peeking out at the top... you wont stay in those jeans for too long, lets put it that way.

shes always been good about sun screen, its the one self-care aspect she never abandoned even during her worst times, but! she usually never splurged on the expensive kind, she used generic cheap sun screen until you started dating and you gave her some fancier kind, selfishly picking a scented one, a mix of vanilla and coconut because you knew it would mix very well with her sweat while working and the tabacco when she smokes - you also help her apply it, its ritual she came to cherish deeply, the way you carefully apply it not just on her face and arms but where she cant reach, always savoring the feeling of your palms massaging the creme into her back because she used to have to bend herself herself into a pretzel to apply it to her shoulder blades and the surrounding area (you dont care that it tastes bitter when you kiss her on her freshly lotioned nose <3)

when Ethel Cain said "he looks like he works with his hands and smells like Marlboro Reds" yeah thats her… the cigs are her little vice that she allows herself to keep, she doesn’t chain smoke, it’s more of a relaxation thing, usually not more than two a day, sometimes she also goes a while without any, and you dont convince her to quit because she looks too hot smoking 💘 you love those warm late nights where you sit on the porch together, your legs on her lap, her free hand massaging you as she stares off into the distance and smokes (you also got her nice lighter at the thrift store, gold with an etching of a pin-up model, it was more of a joke but she loves it)

for obvious reasons she much prefers cats over dogs and when you started dating one of her cats was heavily pregnant, so you ended up staying in the barn with her for an entire night when the cat gave birth to make sure it all went well, to see that the kittens were all healthy, and it made her fall for you even more, the care and adoration with which you handled the little babies and soothed the mother after she gave birth to all three of them, she also let you pick the names <3 you love to joke by saying "she’s stealing my spot" whenever one of the kittens crawls up onto her chest

Van always relies on her lovers to braid her hair! whenever shes single, she just accepts the fact that her hair wont be braided until someone does it for her again, she likes being incompetent that way, she mentioned it off-handedly that she cant braid her hair at her grown age, and you took the bait immediately, offering to style it any way she wants, a smug grin on her face when you first gently parted her hair into three even strands and gave her exactly what she wanted, that soothing feeling of having her love rake her fingers through her hair, her favorite part is when youre done fuss with her front pieces a bit to make it look more effortless and natural, shes pliant as hell, lets you do whatever you want (her mommy issues havent gone away, even in her forties it does make her blush when she sits between your legs and feels you tighten her braid the way a mother might)

speaking of hair: she doesnt trust hair dressers with her hair at all because shes way too scared that theyll take off too much or give her weird layers, so she usually did an okay job cutting her own split-ends, but you decided to buy actual hair-cutting scissors and looked up a few tutorials until you felt prepared enough and gave her a nice trim, taking about half an hour to really make sure all the strands flow nicely together, and she loves it, shes gone so long without getting her hair cut by someone else that it makes the whole thing feel super intimate - also, she loves that you picked up on the fact that her hair is the one and only aspect about her appearance where she embraces a kind of femininity, its her one point of true vanity, and you taking care of it fore her is very pleasing to Van as someone who knows that people usually focus on her more masculine traits when they call her hot, warms her heart that you take care of her hair like its your own :)

youll often cut up some fruit for her or bring her a bottle of cold water when shes been out in the soon for a little too long, its a simple thing but she remembers how it was to never have anyone do those little things for her, its special for her and makes the work feel a little easier on her not-super-young bones <3

she has a medium sized tattoo on her left hipbone that she got in her 20s and for the longest time she hated it because she didnt have enough money back then to get it done by an actually good artist, so the lines are kinda faded over time, but.. once you started dating, she realized how hot you think its looks, so she started using it to tease you, relentlessly, stretching her arms over her head on purpose so her shirt rides up and you can see the top of the tattoo peeking out above her waistband, more times than not youll get handsy with her and pay her back for tempting you (as if that wasnt her goal all along)

for a long time her polaroid camera just collected dust but one day she got the urge to take pictures of you around the farm, which started out innocent at first (you caressing the horses, laying in the sun, leaning against the fence, picking berries) but it quickly turned more and more erotic, you shed your clothes, she took some pics of you in your underwear, you convinced her to caress your face and put her thumb in your mouth while taking a picture of that, which got her good, so eventually you abandoned all shame and told her to get some milk so she could pour it in your open mouth and over your chest and take a picture of that, you in the grass.. kneeling... eyes closed.. mouth open.. milk dripping down your chin... shameless vulgarity, but so incredibly hot to her that she ended up putting the camera down and licking you clean. both of you laughing in the grass afterwards once you realized what you just did (she keeps a few of those pictures on her wallet, old fashioned romance is her thing sometimes)

she taught you how to properly ride a horse and definitely almost had a heart attack the first few times your horse picked up the pace, she always makes sure youre safe - you sometimes take the horses to a nearby forest and leisurely ride through it, slowly, chatting and laughing and holding hands whenever your horses are close enough to do that (you also fore sureee convince her to take you out on her horse sometimes, you love holding onto her waist and resting your head on her back)

her farm is so lush and rich in color during spring and early summer!💐 flowers of all kinds bloom all over the place, and before you were dating she never bothered to pick some of them for inside decor, felt kinda silly to her as the only one living in her house, she was never the type to play homemaker just for the sake of it, but you lovee picking little bouquets for her, you always take note of which flowers she points at and calls pretty, so next time you gather more of that kind, it became a sweet ritual for you to put little vases with all kinds of wildflowers around the house and she for sure dried the first bouquet you ever made for her and keeps it on her dresser or pressed in a book <3

one of your favorite things to do with her is to go out for a big dinner after shes been working hard all day! shell be starving by that time, so nothing feels better to her than sitting down at her favorite sandwich shop or restaurant or fast food chain and devouring a greasy salty comfort meal - I think she fucks with veggie burgers when theyre drenched in good sauce, pizza with a good amount of toppings, spicy too, I think shed dip everything in hot sauce, shed also love mexican food I think like a good burrito with a bunch of fresh ingredients and chips and salsa on the side, anything thats savory and mixes a bunch of textures! you dont do it too often because she does try to eat rather healthy but once or twice a week you both need it and cherish it, you will sit there for a while just eating and chatting and sharing a bunch of side dishes, people watching or gossiping, her giving you inside scoop when she sees a familiar face, making small talk here and there while referring to you as her "friend" even though nobodys naive enough to believe that thats all you are, still, she likes being coy about it

you realize that all the people who own her favorite spots know and love her, so they give her bigger servings and drinks on the house, which you benefit from as well ;)

if you have a difficult relationship with food or simply dont take good enough care of yourself diet wise, thats gonna be taken care of with her, always - Van prides herself on her harvest of fruits and veggies, the time and care she puts in them each season, she collects fresh eggs from her chickens, bakes her own bread, makes a beautiful summer salad that she perfected over the years with some strawberry slices and honey vinegar dressing and a bunch of different greens and cucumber to make it fresh and delicious, among other recipes that she makes you try and approve of - you eat wellll and healthy with her, and you take up baking because you wanna repay her for her cooking and know that she has a sweet tooth! she also keeps fresh home-made iced tea and a bunch of other beverages that you both enjoy in the fridge at all times when its hot and keeps reminding you to drink, you wont be dehydrated on her watch!

when she was younger it was a sign of luxury to her when she was over at a friends house and their family had Ben and Jerrys ice cream instead of the no-name brands, so as an adult she likes buying all those little things that used to seem expensive to her, and you two sometimes share a pot on particularly hot days, trying all the flavors and rating them, you kept a sheet with the scores, and its a thing she looks look forward to, going to the store and picking your flavor for the night <3 (she’s partial to anything with caramel and doesnt really care much for the ones that are heavy on the chocolate, prefers the creamy vanilla bases ones, she also always lets you scoop out the last few bites, whereas you let her have the first few spoonfuls (you also like to fuck with her by kissing her while you still have some ice cream in your mouth and transfer it onto her tongue with a sloppy kiss, she pretends its nasty but shes turned on by it, every time)

she likes to pretend shes a grumpy anti-tech country woman who hates all things pop culture but she does love that youre teaching her things here and there about whats going on, shes been so out of touch with everything that its fun for her to have someone there who gets a kick out of trying to explain a new slang term to her or a trend thats happening on social media or gossip about celebrities (you sometimes jokingly speak in a way that sounds obnoxious and like something a teenager on tiktok would say just to watch her give you a look of utter confusion and disbelief, like telling her that she has "rizz" when she says something smooth, laughing when she says "jesus christ do I even wanna know what that means...")

even though shes worked with animals for years and years it never got easier for her to watch any of them suffer, shes a huge softie! none of them are "just" animals to her, ever, doesnt matter if its a horse or a cow or a chicken or animals that arent "hers" but live around the farm like little mice or birds, she always feels her heart shatter when one of the animals gets sick or needs medicine or a visit from the vet, she keeps it together on the outside but youve consoled her a few times when she was scared that an animal might not make it or be in too much pain - she also still tears up whenever she talks about her cat who passed away five years ago, she still misses her sometimes and youre the first person shes shared that grief with bc she feels safe with you, its nice for her not to shed her tears in the dark by herself when shes scared of a possible loss or feels haunted by yelps that a sick animal made, you always reassure her that shes doing her best and that any animal would be lucky to end up there with her <3

loves to make you do little physical tasks with her so she can watch you struggle with something thats muscle memory for her, its very amusing to her when you get pissed off and start groaning and eventually give up and tell her to do it by herself because youre clearly too slow with it, shell say things like "come on, lets put those young bones to good use" and gesture at you to follow her and you always act like a petulant child even though you clearly love being bosses around by her and watching her be much better at whatever it is that youre doing together, sometimes youll just sit and blatantly stare at her while shes doing strenuous work so you can watch her break a sweat and jokingly cat-call her

she keeps to herself but she built strong connections with a good amount of people in the area over the years, so shes never truly isolated or unable to require help when she needs, people know they can count on her and that shes about as reliable as they come, so she often comes home with a basket of fresh peaches or a few bottles of freshly made syrup or coffee grounds because people like her and treat her like a daughter/sister/friend depending on how old they are (I like to think theres a mutual aid sentiment that she sticks to, shell give money where she can to those who need it because theyve also helped her out before)

on that note, she is usually way too stubborn to ask for support but if you get sick, she calls some people who can help her around the farm, so she has the time to tend to you and doesnt have to leave you alone in bed all day <3

you offer her massages whenever she seems a bit tense or worn out, sometimes youll just come up behind her and start massaging her neck and shell say "baby im okay really" at first, but then audibly gasp as you knead away some tension, melting under your touch and making little "hmm" sounds

she loves ending her day by sitting on the couch with you and watching a show or a film together while snuggling, she used to spend all of her nights alone, so the simple act of eating dinner together and then watching something with you is a luxury to her that she savors every time <3

you convince her to venture out a bit more than she usually did, so you end up taking little trips to more urban cities nearby (ones that are 1-3 hours away) and have fun days there, trying out cafes and restaurants, browsing through stores, getting some clothes (you know she likes brands like Carharrt and splurge on stuff here), getting drinks if you stay until nightfall, watching movies at the cinema, or just walking around and seeing where the day takes you

during the road trips you are in charge of the aux because her music is too depressing for summer days.. she has no idea how to curate a playlist thats lighthearted and fun, so she leaves it to you (I can see her enjoying it when you blast like an Oasis song that she remembers from her youth and make her sing along to it because you know damn well she remembers the lyrics)

also! you love to fuck with her by putting the most vulgar rap you can find on full volume, blasting lyrics that make her look at you in shock while asking “is this what you fucking listen to?? really?" only half-serious about it, you catch her smiling when shes imagining herself in the place of the guy saying out of pocket shit about his girl

you like to do the laundry because you never got to hang it up to dry in a beautiful spot of land like that before - it feels cinematic to you in a way when youre standing there clipping your shirts to the clothesline with the wind blowing in your hair and the horses nearby, but! Van does the laundry that has to be hand-washed, she likes the attentive act of getting out all the little stains in clothes that are too delicate for the washing machine, she has her tricks to get even the most annoying red sauce stains out, and she also has a thing for washing your underwear, something about washing her lovers intimate clothes is very romantic to her, so you let her do it even though you were a bit embarrassed about it at first

regardless of your usual style you started dressing a bit more "country" to fit her vibe and it’s hot to her - she likes when you thrift stuff like white linen dresses or shorts, cowboy boots, belts with bigger brass buckles, you always ask her for her opinion and maybe drag her to the store with you so she can decide what you try out next (she’d make you get a skimpy bikini for lake days, for sure, you’d be like "this is too much...." and she’d just say "not in my eyes" and buy it for you)

loveees to share all of her knowledge with you but in a teasing way, she likes to play teacher and make you memorize the names of plants and flowers, so she can randomly point at one and ask "whats that one called again, hm?" fully aware that you forgot, repeating it to you and asking again the next day, which makes you shove her and roll your eyes but shell press for an answer like "I didnt hear you baby"

you introduce her to the app that can identify all kinds of bird calls and she gets over her skepticism really fast and becomes obsessed with it, whenever youre in the forest by the lake or just out in nature and she hears an unfamiliar call she gets so thrilled when the app shows her a picture of the bird shes hearing, and she definitely makes you remember the names of her favorite birds and gets offended when you forget them, drilling you like a teacher until theyre seared into your brain

she knows from her own experience that the best way to beat a depressive mood is to get outside and find something to do, so whenever she can tell that youre feeling a bit off or blue she makes you follow her somewhere so she can try and cheer you up :) one afternoon when you were kinda sad she took you cherry-picking and lifted you up on her shoulders so you could reach all the cherries further up and your mood switched completely without you even being conscious of it, she’s great at coaxing joy out of you whenever you need it

in general you felt your nervous system recover from any stress you mightve dealt with before during those days where your senses were never overstimulated by too much noise or too many people around or a lack of access to fresh air and pretty nature, she never outright said it but she definitely kept her eye on you and made sure you felt better than you did when shed first met you, even just sitting in the grass and feeling the earth beneath you and hearing the natural noise of the farm for a few minutes often helps you unwind and relax 🕊️

you know from what she told you about her past that she never got to be carefree as a kid/teenager, that she had to grow up way too fast, so you make her do little things with you that girls might do at sleepovers, like putting on face masks or playing online games or buying little arts and crafts kits to make each other keychains and! you convince her to get one of the mystery boxes with little figurines in them like those sylvanian family animals, which you end up keeping on the windows isle, adding to them whenever you indulge in the frivolous joy of ripping open a package without knowing which little creature youll get (shes the type to put on a poker-face or make sarcastic remarks during the whole thing to disguise how much fun shes actually having)

master of home remedies! whether its a rash or a burn or a cut, she knows exactly what salve or creme to apply, she has a bunch of teas for any kind of ailment, stomach pain, period cramps, headaches, she knows how to dress any kind of wound (because shes had to patch herself up, many times) so any kind of pain youre in, shes gonna do her very best to relieve you of it (not just by giving you head, although thats always worth a try, to her)

shes somehow alwaaays chewing on something, either gum, or tooth picks, or even just random pieces of grass (which you make fun of her for, lovingly) its pretty rare that she goes a whole day without reaching for something to mindlessly chew on (one time you offered her your finger and said "if you need to always have something in your mouth... here" and she swatted your hand away and told you off but the blush on her face betrayed her because she does love to have your fingers in her mouth, she cant help it)

loves to kiss you on your hands/knuckles, the chivalrous feel of it, the devotion, its just a go-to move for her and you never ever tire of it or lose those butterflies you felt the first time she did it

her other favorite places to kiss on your body while youre not undressed are your cheeks and your shoulders!

sometimes she worries that youll get bored of spending all your days out there with her so she makes it clear that shed drive you to a friends place and be fine with it if you needed a few a days away (blatant lie, she wouldnt be fine) but you make it clear that youre not interesting in going anywhere, unless its together with her! you love your new routine of having time to yourself in the house or outside until shes done working and you spend the rest of the day together

she might be sober but she’ll gladly make you a nice cocktail or buy you a drink every once in a while because she thinks its very cute when youre tipsy and get even more touchy-feely and affectionate with her than usual

you like to spoil her by giving her hands some love, she uses them so much that she needs to use very moisturizing thick cremes and youll take some of that and massage her hand and and really make sure it seeps into her skin, sometimes shell just lay in bed at night and let you work away at her hands as she almost dozes off from how good it feels <3

nsfw

one might think she has less energy when shes been working hard all day but its actually the opposite, whenever shes breathing heavy and sweating and her blood is rushing from the strain of the heat combined with her physical work, she is so easily turned on by the sight of you, its primal in way, so sometimes when she comes inside all dirty and sweaty and flushed you can tell just from the look she gives you that youre about to be ruined (she will drag you to bed, tear your clothes off and lick and kiss and bite you all over, she gets so into it so fast that all you can do is lay back and make pretty sounds for her as she gets all the pent up energy out of her system, which is a new pleasure for her, the pleasure after-work sex)

shes a very even mix of gentle and aggressive! even though shes much stronger than you, she doesnt get off on the idea of domination, it turns her on way more to think that she is your protector when you when youre having sex, while youre in your most vulnerable state, it turns her on to know that she can hold you in a way that makes you feel weak and eager to sink deeply into that weakness, always gripping you and handling you with a firmness that feels caring and loving no matter how nasty the sex is (she could be in the middle of losing her mind while deep inside you but shed never let that lust and hunger turn her careless or too harsh, you know youll never feel used with her, no matter how hard you fuck, its always tinged with tenderness)

shes strong. very strong….shes been handling animals who weigh much more than the average human for years and when you first started dating you definitely felt a rush when she first grabbed you and you felt the sheer strength of her, it drove you crazyyy to feel how easy it was for her to pull you onto her lap or flip you over or carry you around 😵‍💫

at first, she held back, but when you told her that you trust her and want her to really make you feel how strong she is, she started to get into it during sex, holding you in place or wrapping her arms around you so tight and firm that you mightve just come from that sensation alone... she has stamina that never runs out and prides herself on it, but! when youre giving... its over. doesnt matter how physically strong she is, how firm her muscles are, shes so sensitive to your touch that all of her strength melts away that moment your touch your tongue to her or feel her up or fuck her, shes definitely less composed when youre inside of her than you are when shes in you, she whines and moans so intensely...

shes for sureee big into overstimulation, shes an eager giver when she tops, through and through, so she’ll keep going and going until youre shaking and sweating through the sheets, never in a way that’s punishing, always kissing and caressing you all the way through, whispering sweet things as you come for the fourth or fifth time and eventually tap out, laying on top of her, both of you drenched head to toe but so satisfied, so in love, dozing off until an hour later when you clean up and devour some good food together <3

her sex-drive is prettyyy high but its a consistent thing so she’ more of a "whenever youre down, im down, just tell me" type of person, whereas your bursts of desire are more intense and out of the blue, youre more needy and desperate with it, which works out well because sometimes shell just sit back and wait for you to come onto her, aware that it hardly ever takes long for you to get gripped by a feeling of "i need her now or ill die"

will take risks when it comes to having sex outside, any time, its her property, her land, so she will use it as she sees fit, which includes having you wherever and whenever you two feel like it - it’s rare that youre actually in danger of having someone walk up and see you, but it’s definitely happened once or twice that you lost track of time while messing around in the stables and someone quickly turned back around while coughing loudly to signal to you "wrap it up, people are coming", which always makes her feel kind of smug, the fact that people know damn well how lucky she is, having a girl like you to pull into a stack of hay, savoring the sweet dusty smell of the surroundings mixed with the taste of you while she hikes up your dress or pulls down your shorts and gives you head right there <3

it was a huge fantasy of hers, to have a lover that way, so sometimes you leave the stables with visible prints on your ass and thighs where they hay dug in, picking it off your clothes with her help, shaky legs as you leave her to deal with the people who came to ride their horses, a smile from her when she sees you struggling to walk straight as you go inside to freshen up (or jerk off, to finish what she started, telling her about it afterwards to make her get off to the idea of you in her bed touching yourself while she was outside being all professional..)

she can never ever get enough of seeing you on top of her!!whether it’s you riding her fingers or her strap, grinding down against her thigh, she doesn’t care how, all she wants is to see you lose yourself on her, she’s obsessed... 🫠

also, when shes the one fucking you, you both love using the furniture.. you bent over the kitchen table, one leg propped up on a chair so she has good access, her chest flush against your back, her kissing your neck as she holds you with her arm around your waist and gives to you from the back.. fucking you like that until she turns you back around to have you lay back and relax on the table as she finishes you off, really making use of the steady wooden table when youre squirming and losing it..

early morning sex 💘 she usually wakes up naturally around between 5 and 6 am because as a farmer her days always start pretty early and she loves when you stir and smile at her, still half-asleep and and all cozy and soft, it makes her wanna spoil you, so you often wake up to her gently moving your blanket away, so she can caress you and kiss your body and give you head, nothing too overwhelming, but enough to give you the kind of orgasm that makes you fall right back asleep all satisfied and limp and dazed from the feeling of being half-lucid half-dreaming while she ate you out

youll sleep for two more hours or so while she already gets to work, until you get up and prepare some coffee for her, so she usually takes her first break around 9am and has breakfast with you! you sometimes like to repay her for the way she woke you up by getting on your knees in front of her chair and taste her until she cant take it anymore and gets back up to continue her work, a bit scared she might mishandle a tool with the fresh memory of you looking up at her with a slick chin making her all weak and dizzy..

spit. shes more filthy than she is kinky, give her some intense loving passionate sex with a lot of spit involved and shes over the moon, loves when you spit in her mouth and then kiss her afterwards, when you lick over her chest or neck and leave a glistening trail where your tongue traveled up, when you suck on her fingers to lube them up before she fingers you or jerks you off, when you give her strap sloppy head before taking it all the way in with ease because youre so turned on and it is so wet with your saliva, loves when you let your spit drool onto her cunt before you eat her out 💞

very into sensuality in general, she could spend hours just lazily playing with your pussy and feeling you get wetter and wetter without ever getting bored, she loves to just feel you, having you sit comfortably as she switches between rubbing your clit, your whole outside area, teasing your entrance, and fingering you, shes in love with your cunt and wont ever turn down the chance to just hear you whimper and whine as you relax with your legs spread while she watches your pussy swell and get wet and take her fingers - will coo at you and kiss you wherever she can reach as she tells you how good you feel, will keep it up for as long as you want and you love those moments when you dont feel pressured to orgasm because she loves touching you just for the sake of it, not to get an ego-boost from making you cum (even though she always does, youre too in love with her not to drench her fingers when shes teasing you like that and whispering in your ear)

if you squirt... yeah shes licking it all up and doing exactly what she did before to try and make it happen again, as I said shes filthyyy 😵‍💫 would get so turned on from the sight of you ruining her sheets, would shush you if you apologized and insist that you never ever hold back even if it means she has to do laundry more than usual

her tits are a weak spot, super sensitive </3 her nipples will get hard if the wind blows a little too strong... and before dating you she kinda ignored her chest for the most part but with you she rediscovered the thrill of having her tits sucked while being pleased, sometimes you’ll randomly push her onto the couch and lift up her shirt to kiss her chest just to hear her moan for a few seconds, a little treat for yourself (and her) during the day

vocal. so fucking vocal. she can never ever keep quiet and you only go harder whenever you can tell that shes trying to stifle the sounds, you want them all out in the open, and it usually takes very little time for her to lose her composure which she gets embarrassed by for sure, once the orgasm subsides shes like oh... great. I sounded like ive never had sex in my life. yet again. perfect. but you loveee it, its so hot to you that this woman who is usually perceived as tough and strong and reserved is such a mess in bed

shes spent many years with her beloved truck and for the longest time she had fantasies about fucking in there, which came true once you started dating <3 you love straddling her in her seat when youre parked somewhere secluded, or when you come home from a late night drive, youve definitely fucked in the backseat a few times when she drove you out to a lake or a nice spot where nobody else was around, you both get a thrill out of it, the leather seats, the semi-public feel of it all, the risk factor, the way the car kinda smells like sex when you drive home afterwards (you also love to gawk at her when shes fixing the truck, makes her take her sweet time with it)

loves pillow talk and savoring the post-sex glow, its something she never rushes or skips, shes will move you onto her chest and caress your back or let you lay where you are and kiss your body, eventually resting her head on your stomach so you can stroke her hair, or youll just wrap your arms around each other and stay like that for a while

that post on here thats like "dont shave your bush I will kill myself" thats something she might actually say bc she is for sure soo into bush its one of the most erotic things to her, everything about it, she loves when it tickles her nose, loves the soft feel of it when she puts her hands in your underwear to jerk you off, loves the look of it when you get dressed and your underwear is see-through enough for your bush to peek through, hottt as hell to her

if youre the type to wear lingerie, she’d be very into it, never takes it for granted - one of the hottest things ever to her is when her girl wears clothes that are not what you’d consider fancy or special while wearing the most beautiful, delicate underwear, the contrast kills her every time, the sight of a nice lacy bra peeking out of a tank top that you stole from her... phewww shes on her knees. immediately. same thing with panties, she always interrupts you when youre getting dressed to admire you when youre wearing nothing but a pair of lacy underwear, also loves when you wear regular comfortable cotton underwear, the sight of it wedged between your cheeks somehow makes her wanna take a chunk out of your ass every time.. also loves you in her boxers. everything really, shes a lover of whatever you have going on beneath your clothes <3

face sitting. being the giver in a submissive way is so deeply satisfying for her, so shell often just ask you to ride her face, you might be lying in bed in the afternoon just relaxing kissing a little and shell straight up ask if you want to use her face for a bit, shell happily lay back and use her strength to hold you up by your waist when you get tired and cant really brace yourself against the wall/headboard that well anymore, shell take it all without ever complaining, doesnt matter if you suffocate her, drench her whole face, kinda fuck up her neck, she doesnt care, shell be too drunk on the feel and taste and sight of having you on her like that, staring up at you with glazed over eyes, maybe using one hand to jerk herself off because shes too turned on and cant take it..

maybe one time she was feeling wild and told you to do it while you were wearing a dress outside, her just laying down on the lawn and telling you do it right there bc you could climb off her fast if someone did happen to come around the corner - again, she might be private and reserved but being caught isnt really an issue for her, shed just be like "and what. I will have my girl the way I want when I want, deal with it."

didnt use any toys on her own but can definitely get down with them when its with you! I think she might be too shy to suggest this but she’d absolutely lose her mind if she saw you riding a toy to get off, like you straddling it on her bed to give her the chance to see you from whatever angle she wants, unlike when youre riding her and she cant see you from far away etc. - I also think shes the type of lover who wants to know/see how you masturbate, or how you did it before you met her, its such a private thing and I think she loves the idea of being trusted with that information <3

rediscovered her love of receiving/bottoming with you - with hookups she usually only let them do things that didnt feel too vulnerable, i dont think she let any of them see her in positions that made her feel too exposed, but with you she feels safe enough to admit that she does like being on her hands and knees, that she likes to be finger-fucked until shes near tears, that she sometimes likes to just have her face in the pillows as you eat her out or touch her from the back, its not something that happens too often bc it does require a lot of trust on her part, but when shes really horny and youre being sweet and kissing her all over to get her worked up shell sometimes cave and beg you to just do whatever you want and get rough with her

especially with a younger partner shes turned on by the idea that someone who has less experience can ruin her like that, its a nice secret to have because she knows a lot of people would look at a lesbian who looks like her and assume that shes a top, but shes a switch through and through, would never give up one or the other

she wears a thin gold chain that she hardly ever takes off, so sometimes when youre fucking it dangles over your face, or you pull her in for a kiss by gently tugging at it <3

one time you found a playboy from her exact birth year and month at the antique book/magazine store and brought it home for her, which was more of a silly present but she did find it sweet/hot and left it on the coffee table as decor (you made her flip through it with you and teased her by pointing out which models you assumed she found the hottest, which she shut down by saying "well I would do the same to you right now but theyre all like what.. twenty years too young for you?", so you doubled-down and said "oh dont flatter yourself, I like women my age too", so she did briefly have a fantasy of you getting with a girl your own age as she watches you two, which struck a nerve, but she kept that to herself, at least for the time being..)

youre obsessed with her physique because she has the distinct shape of someone who earned their muscles through hard work, who didnt try to grow them out of a need to become as big as possible but who genuinely needs to be strong to do their daily tasks, so her muscles are not cartoonish or over the top, she just has a firmness to her stomach and thighs and back thats hottt as hell to you, her abs are subtle but theyre there, and your absolute weak spot: her V-line. when shes wearing a shirt thats too short to cover up the spot right above her pants and you can see those lines that lead down into her underwear.. it’s over. youre staring shamelessly, and she pretends she doesnt notice but she loveees it, shell lay back and stretch out her legs and count you gawking at the sight of her exposed stomach 😵‍💫

sometimes when shes tired she’ll just lay flat on her back on the bed, arms and legs spread out and let you crawl all over her, feel her up, do whatever the fuck you want, shes happy to just lay there and take it all, so you usually spoil her and kiss and touch her all over before getting to anything more intense, straddling her, playing with her hair, teasing her, kissing her neck, massaging her, biting her, you know she loves being trapped and helpless while shes exhausted and eager to be showered in affection <3

the first time you were with her when she said "good girl" to her horse you grinned and asked "who, me or her?", so she shot you a smug look and said "what are you doing right now thats praise worthy, hm?" but she definitely took note of it and brought it up later on in bed, which did make her say it less to her horse from that point on (oops..)

one time during your first weeks of dating you couldnt ride your designated horse because you were too sore from the night before and the friction hurt too badly.. she felt a little guilty so she kissed it better after she couldnt help but laugh when you climbed off and said "yeah not today, no fucking way" while pointing between your legs

loves having her hair pulled, sometimes she puts her hair up in a ponytail during sex just so you can easily tug on it to bend her neck and kiss her skin there <3

if you 69 she is always the one whose face is getting smothered, always, she wouldn’t like it if it was the other way around, but every once in a while when youre both in heat and desperate to fuck the other person, she’ll eat you out while you’re trying to hold your hips up over her mouth while you’re jerking her off/struggling to taste her bc of your moaning </3, you both love orgasming at the same time, being together in that state of helplessness, it’s something you crave

if you lost your virginity to her, I think shed offer for you to do something to her that nobody has ever done before to make it kind of even that way, its mostly her way of adding to the sentiment of "I want us to be equals" because she never wants you to feel like shes eager to overpower you or see you as a girl she gets to "corrupt", maybe you laid in bed once and she told you this and she took a moment too long to try and think of something that no lover has ever done to her so you jokingly said "whore." - but youre creative, so you definitely found things that you would be her "first" for

if youre feeling freaky hear me out.. maybe youre the first to ever put your whole hand inside of her. would take a good amount of patience and lubrication but I can see her getting off on it sooo intensely once you manage to slip all of your fingers inside of her... you staring in awe and telling her how hot it feels, and slowly, very slowly, moving your hand a bit.. I think being so full of her lover would ruin her so hard. and she’d be turned on from knowing that none of her longtime girlfriends ever got to do it to her. anway.

her sexual preferences always depends on yours in the sense that she wants to know what you need and then give it to you, if you just want your brains fucked out she’ll gladly give in, if you want to pleasure her without being touched in return shes down as well, if you want both shes never gonna deny you, which means! that when she does allow herself to take charge every now and then by manhandling you and telling you "come here" or "lay back" it ruins you because youre not used to it, she looves the look you get when she decides to be a bit rough for once

to put it plainly: your pleasure is her pleasure, always!

thats all for now! feel free to let your own imagination fill in the rest 💌

[babybearnation]

Lando\charles comforting you after you flunked your exams?

(I did so bad on my exams tdy)

it's okay! take it from me - i failed 5 out of my 6 exams when i was 17 and still went on to get 2 university degrees. also, i'm not sure if you meant these two together or separately so i'll do both those options lol

gn!student!reader

lando norris:

he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but lando knows how hard you worked for this and he also knows what failure tastes like

not afraid to make an actual fool out of himself if it'll make you laugh and cheer you up, even if momentarily because he hates to see you frown over anything

not the best with words but his flustered bumbling is more sincere than any pre-prepared speech could be and it makes you feel so much better about your failures

if retaking them is an option, lando will totally encourage you to do so and, if it costs money to retake them, he'll pay that cost for you because he knows what you're capable of and he wants you to be happy

charles leclerc:

charles hates seeing you so upset but also he totally understands why you feel so stressed out about failing because he hates it too

will go above and beyond in making you a delightful dinner and a sweet dessert to try and take your mind off of the failures

he's very sweet and knows exactly what to say to cheer you up and any time he catches you being miserable, he somehow manages to say another uniquely supportive thing to make you feel better

charles will encourage you to retake them if you can/motivate you if you have to, but if you decide that you wanna change paths, he's also not gonna stop you from doing that because as long as you're happy, so is he

polyamorous!lando x charles:

these two together are not gonna let you dwell on your sadness and your failures for very long because with charles' soft sweetness and lando's chaotic support, you physically can't

they'll clear their schedules for a whole day and dedicate it to you - you wanna have takeaway for every single meal? that's okay! you wanna go shopping? charles & lando have their cards ready! you just wanna curl up in bed and sleep or watch movies? lando & charles are right there with you!

any drivers or staff members who have gone through schooling or university and have failed exams/courses will be asked to speak to you or send advice because, at the end of the day, failed exams don't mean your stupid or incapable and charles & lando wanna make sure you know that

will support whatever path you choose to take - you wanna retake and try and nail them next time? charles & lando will help in any way they can. you wanna abandon them and try something else? they'll be cheering you on. you need them to just hold and support you whilst you re-jig your life? they've got you!

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[joeyjoeylee]

tumblr told me to publicly come here with a character ask, even though i have little asked you every little thing under the sun about Both Sides of the Law — other than can you shop it to Netflix 🤭 anyway! let me ask a

Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about

I'm sorry for the delay, work (and the, like, World at large, amirite?) has been brutal. I'm so cheesed you're still interested altho I think I've rambled on about more extraneous details than you could possibly want lol. Hmmm, okay, what about (putting under a cut because I am physically incapable of being brief as you know):

-I couldn't think of how to work it in from Rio's POV, but in the last chapter, when he's watching Eddie and Beth wait for the jury verdict to come back, Eddie is visibly nervous and Rio watches Beth lean over to whisper something to him that calms him down. She whispered, "Be chill." Because that was what Rio kept saying to her when they were moot court partners and they'd be waiting for the competition results. So my head canon was that Beth remembered that (she remembered everything) and would always afterwards say it to herself to "look" chill (on the outside, only, she is never actually chill) in stressful court situations. Then she used it on Eddie in that tense moment (like she forgot to do with Gardner when they were partners) and of course, it was just the right thing to say to make twitchy little Eddie relax.

-I think I already wrote this in a comment once, but I had the whole "How Rio Got His Nickname" thing worked out but couldn't figure out how to put it in. Basically that at a family reunion way back in the day, little Toddler Christopher was toddling around after Gretchen under the supervision of an older relative visiting from Mexico. He toddled too close to the river/stream at the park and fell in. The old lady was so overwhelmed and scared that she just kept screaming "Rio! Rio!" trying to call for help, then after fishing him out and running back to the party, kept saying it trying to explain what had happened. Little Christopher, wet, unscared, and delighted by the all the commotion and attention, kept repeating it in excitement too and then it just stuck. lolllll.

-I had a whole scene in the last chapter with Rio and his mother. Where he's sitting alone with her in her kitchen watching her cook and tells her that Elizabeth would be coming to family Sunday dinner.

He waits til she's busy working away so she's not looking at him, trying to make it all casual.

She clocks the significance immediately tho, despite this being the first mention of "Elizabeth" in years. So she switches to Spanish - like she always does when things are serious - to ask if that means Elizabeth is "free" now, still not looking at him.

He is initially annoyed, because he never told his mother about being with Beth back in school (when she was married), thinking this means Gretchen had ratted him out, both back then and NOW that he's started back up with Beth again.

His mother tells him - tartly - that she's never needed her girl (Gretchen) telling her what she already knew about her boy.

So he relents, says yes, Elizabeth is free now.

His mother just nods, still busying around the sink, tells him "good, now you can be happy."

This then segues into Rio first protesting that he's always been happy, then trying to pick through his conflicted/muddled feelings about being both happy being with Elizabeth now, but also how it still weighs on him how much time was lost + the whole "she has 4 kids now, in addition to the terrible ex that I still hate passionately" thing.

His mother stops cooking, sits down, so they are face-to-face, so he has to look at her.

She tells him about how back when she was pregnant with Rio, and then Rio's father (her brother Victor's best friend and right-hand man, like Rio and Mick are now) died, she used to wish desperately that she would have Rio's father back. That she would have given up being pregnant even, if only she could have had him back. But then, when Rio was born, and they put the baby in her arms, she stopped wishing, stopped trying to bargain with God. Because she knew that she would never give Rio up, not even to have the love of her life back.

His mother then tells him, "you have Marcus." Asks Rio if he would ever give him up. He shakes his head, of course not. She asks if he thinks Elizabeth would give up hers? He shakes his head, of course not.

So she tells him, see? If all the years hadn't passed, neither of them would have had their kids. But unlike Teresa, they get to have their kids and the love of their lives. They get to have both.

"You get to have it all." She tells him, like it's so simple, so clear. Then pats his hand, and goes back to busying around the kitchen and bossing him around with things he needs to bring for Sunday dinner (besides Elizabeth). While he just sits there, calmed and happy.

I didn't think I could write it well enough tho - especially with the switch to Spanish and nervousness about all that. So I just ended up having Gretchen (much easier for me to write loll) try to convey the same thing with her story to knock some sense into him a diff way!

Thanks so much for the ask, Friend, this was really fun.

[belit0]

Itachi with number 12 please, i need this man biblically 🛐

Me with Indra 🛐🛐 OKAY BUT WHAT IF ACTUALLY, the reader cheated on him with Shisui? That would be so hot.

NSFW prompts!

12) Imagine that Itachi and reader lived together. Itachi comes home one day and hears loud moaning coming from their bedroom, recognizing reader’s voice. Itachi assumes, to their horror, that reader is cheating on them, and they rush to the bedroom and open the door. Instead of seeing a cheating partner, Itachi actually walks in on reader masturbating/using sex toys while moaning out Itachi's name.

Being Hokage is one of the most daunting tasks of his life.

Itachi thought things were difficult when he had to prevent the almost military takeover his family was planning, when trying to stop Orochimaru from killing the Third Hokage, when preventing his best friend from committing suicide, when he had to remove that idiot Danzo and displace all the corrupt people from Konoha's power.

The villagers grew to love him so much, with him replacing the murky image of his clan with one of respect and responsibility, that there was no hesitation when a new leader for the community had to be chosen. A unanimous vote decreed him as the new Hokage, and Tobirama Senju is probably rolling over in his grave because an Uchiha reaches the pinnacle of authority.

Consumed by his new role, Itachi forgot what freedom was, leisure time, not being stressed or anxious about the amount of work he must do every day. Many old-school skeptics still believe him incapable, and he is determined to prove to everyone that not all Uchihas are demented psychopaths.

With the death of his father at his own hands, he had earned the hatred of the entire family, but he ended up making them understand the motives behind his actions, how wrong it would have been to allow the clan to take control by force. Shisui had been the mastermind behind the plan, and while people accused them of being double moralists for killing Fugaku and taking the leadership, they eventually understood that it was the right thing to do.

He tried to have his best friend be the one to take the position, but Shisui, missing an eye, excused himself under the pretext of nobody respecting a half-broken Uchiha, and absolved himself of the responsibility. With no other options, the people proclaimed Itachi as the village's savior, trusting the young boy to be capable of leading them all to a good future.

Drowned in meetings, events, documents, papers, he lost his free time, and returns home late at night every day. With his face ruined by fatigue and barely able to move his legs because of sitting all day, he manages to walk through the doors of his home, having refused to live in the Hokage's tower.

He knows who suffers the most from all of this is (Y/N).

Neither of them was prepared for events of such magnitude, everything happening overnight, and the period of adaptation was practically nil. Overnight, she lost her man's presence as if the earth had swallowed him up.

When Itachi comes home late at night, the girl is already asleep. When Itachi leaves home, early in the morning, the girl has already left for her own work.

Having lost close contact without warning, the Uchiha has almost no time to see her, talk to her, or connect with her in an intimate or sentimental way. Shuffling his feet, he makes it home, and after leaving his shoes at the door, he enters.

His ninja instincts kick in the moment he walks past the entrance, confused by the noise heard throughout the house in the middle of the night, when his wife should presumably be asleep.

He assumes the worst. The lack of touch, absence of dialogue, no physical presence had finally broken (Y/N)'s patience, and his wife decided to look for in other people what she had previously found in him.

Destroyed and with a heavy heart, he suddenly feels a huge emptiness in his chest, and becomes paralyzed. He cannot move, nor approach the room, neither can he open the door and find another man between his wife's legs. He doesn't know what his reaction would be, and he doesn't want to find out either.

Is he willing to throw it all away, everything he achieved, people's respect and affection built with painful effort just because his wife is also human and has needs? Killing the person who is pleasing her, replacing him, will only bring disgrace on everyone's head, with citizens wondering who they elected to rule. It would unleash new chaos as they would see him as an insane Uchiha and this would catapult that-.

"Where the fuck is he? He should have been here by now... dammit!" His wife's voice exclaims from the room, snapping him out of his dark lucubrations and bringing him back to reality. That doesn't sound like another person fucking her, does it?

Unsure, he approaches the half-open door, and peers through the gap of vision it provides. Could he have used his Sharingan to detect other presences in the house? Yes. Is he too consumed by his own inner demons to think about it? Also.

In front of his eyes, he sees a naked (Y/N) on the bed, legs spread and lying face up on the mattress, holding one of the toys they both use for their intimate moments. The object vibrates non-stop inches away from her pussy, but she seems to be distracted looking at the clock.

"What are you doing, (Y/N)?" Itachi asks in a mixture of confusion and relief, not understanding what his wife is up to but happy that she hasn't dumped him for someone else, watching the image with intrigue and helplessness.

Startled, she suddenly throws out the vibrator, her body involuntarily jumping in surprise, and it flies off towards the ceiling only to land on the floor "ITACHI!".

The Uchiha laughs, suddenly relaxed and calm, shaking off today's troubles and understanding his wife's effort to revive the passion their relationship was lately losing. "You should be sleeping, love." He walks over to her, and sits down on the bed.

"I wanted to surprise you... I know how stressed you are lately and maybe I could help you like this..." He takes her in his arms and all he wants to do is hug her, kiss her, squeeze her until suffocation and make her understand how much he loves her.

"Well, you succeeded, but let's not waste your state, hm?" He kisses her eagerly, pouncing on her even with the Hokage robe on, not losing a second.

Tomorrow, his work clothes will have strange light stains on them, but no one will dare ask where they came from.

[slitheryboi]

*breaks through wall like the kool-aid man* i hear you're looking for some sanders sides angst :D

(This may be lengthy + have typos, I got a bit too detailed and carried away about how the sides cry lol)

Logan doesn't let himself cry in public. Like, at all. If he gets close he'll try his best to bottle it up and force it back down so he can continue working, but if tears are an immediate inevitability he will quietly retreat to the privacy of his room to quickly get it out of his system. He's an expert at schooling his expressions most of the time, and that extends to when he's crying. Most you'd see is him taking a few deep or shaky breaths as the tears slowly slip down an otherwise empty face. No time for emotions, not even alone.

Patton can and will openly cry in response to just about anything, and there have been multiple instances of him being reduced to a babbling mess at the sight of a puppy that was just too dang cute. When he cries out of sadness, however, it really does just break everyone's heart. It could be suggested that as the core of c!thomas' emotions, these strong feelings bleed over onto the other sides so they physically feel the same sadness as him, but really it's just because he looks so frail and desolated like this that it's impossible to not want to either hold him or cry with him.

Roman is dramatic, always has been and always will be. He doesn't just cry; he sobs, weeps, and wails, throwing himself onto the closest flat surface he can find to lament like he was doing an impression of a Disney princess. He'll be alright later, sure, but these outbursts typically last for hours as he loudly breaks down and lets his pain be heard. Of course when he finally does calm down, he will straighten himself back up, plaster a smile on his face, and apologize for making such a racket before carrying on like he never cried in the first place.

Virgil doesn't like it when people see him cry. It makes him feel weak and selfish, like he's some problem that needs to be fixed. If he feels like he going to cry he will leave immediately, and if he can't he'll do everything in his power to stop those tears from showing, or even worse, falling. Looking away, furiously blinking and wiping away any stray tears, and stubbornly insisting that he's fine, okay, just leave him alone, and when he finally does cry it's messy and heartbreaking how he folds in on himself and makes these quiet noises like he's trying to hold his breath.

Janus can't cry. Like, he's physically incapable of it. Kind of comes with being part snake and everything. Most days he doesn't mind, it's weirdly amusing watching the others stare at him in bewilderment as he proves incapable of tearing up during the first ten minutes of Up. Other days... it can sort of suck. If he feels, well, bad, sometimes he wishes he could get those emotions out properly, healthily, instead of just drinking and lying and making these pathetic sounds as it feels like his chest is collapsing in on itself. He knows he'd be mortified if someone actually caught him crying of course, but maybe it'd be nice to know how it feels to cry even on his own. (Plus, being able to cry means being able to fake cry, which would be so useful in certain deceptive situations)

Remus is just as dramatic as his brother, don't be fooled. The thing is, he turns that drama and makes it something different. He really doesn't cry all that much, but when he does it's an angry and messy scene. Try to get close to comfort him? He'll cuss and slap and shout and punch until he's left alone again so noone can touch him. If someone does manage to pull him into a hug by some miracle, it'll only take a few seconds before he absolutely breaks, shrieking and writhing as those pesky tears fall onto someone's shoulder (a shoulder that he's definitely not clutching in a death grip that only tightens at the notion of that someone leaving, not at all). This is why he simply can't allow himself to be held or touched under any circumstances when he's about to cry, he just doesn't want to fall apart like that in someone's hands. Better to just sniffle and snot in the corner where noone can get too close.

This is the best thing ever! Very well done. I can really see it happening in my mind. But you know what else? What are your headcanons about Ronan and his sensitive stomach? I imagine he loves dairy despite it hurting his stomach.

[actual-changeling]

Since you have been the first 'Crowley deserves to have his boundaries' person I have seen in the tags on weeks. What do you think about the talk in the fandom on how Crowley should have accepted going to Heaven 'to do good and stop the Apocalypse' and that 'he also rejected Aziraphale'? It personally gives me the creeps because the narrative makes clear that Heaven is a big white nightmare but the fandom seems to be taking the 'Aziraphale might jot be perfect' thing hard and therefore Heaven is fixable now...

Glad to know I am not alone in my little boundaries corner! I'm always here for discussions about it.

And, oh boy, do I have thoughts on that, let's see if I can get them to be somewhat coherent.

I am going to start this off with a metaphor of sorts and hopefully people will be able to follow along. I'm an older sibling and have a little sister, and we grew up in an incredibly abusive and neglectful household.

When I graduated high school, I moved out for university, which was literally the best thing to ever happen to me - I got away, I was/am free! Now I have to deal with the consequences of all that shit though.

If my sister asked me to come back so I can help her fix our mother (entirely theoretical btw she'd never lol) would it be the right thing to say yes? Should I give up my personal freedom, my life, the healing process I am right in the middle of, to go back to a household that broke me? So I can be trapped with a person that will never change again?

The answer is, of course, no. I feel bad for my sister and I am praying she will be able o move out soon, but me going back would not solve a single fucking thing. See where I'm going with this yet?

Crowley left heaven and landed on earth, which was ultimately good for him, but he has a lot to process and heal from; he's right in the middle of his own recovery.

Heaven will not change, it cannot be changed. The entire institution is working as intended, and the intention is to be abusive, manipulative, and have as much power over everyone as possible. You cannot fix that, you need to get rid of it.

Aziraphale has good intentions, but he is also still trapped in that abusive household because he never moved out, he is the sibling that stayed behind, just mentally instead of physically.

Hot take, but many people in this fandom are incapable of understanding that "Aziraphale is acting based on good intentions and is still actively being abused/traumatized" and "Aziraphale did bad and unhealthy things and his relationship with Crowley was co-dependent and toxic" are co-existing. Both are true.

Both. are. true.

He did messed up shit out of a trauma response, but he is still responsible for his actions, and at the same time he deserves a chance to heal and move on from it. Please, at this point I am begging people to understand that this is not a black and white issue.

Crowley did not reject Aziraphale, if anything, Aziraphale rejected him.

Crowley said no to returning to an abusive environment for an impossible task. Crowley said no to sacrificing his mental and physical health for something that he knows will not happen. Crowley, for the first time in his life, set a clear and final boundary and put himself and his life over Aziraphale's wishes.

That is a good thing. It is necessary.

Season 3 will not be about Aziraphale fixing heaven or preventing the second coming (if anything it'll be accidental just like in season 1). It's going to be about him finding his way out of his abusive household and into a healthy environment in which they're both free and can heal.

Apart AND together.

It's not happily ever after, it's not perfect romance, it's not "soul-mates" or anything. It is messy, it is real, it is complicated, and I am so fucking tired of seeing it reduced to "love conquers all".

[excelsior9173]

the one thing i really miss from my elementary and high school days is that as we got older, our mom implemented what she called “mental health days”.

basically she gave us sick days for when we just *couldn’t*. we could wake up any day, mentally feel absolutely in the gutter, and she wouldn’t question it or argue, we would get to stay home that day. mom would call the school, tell them we were sick, and then we’d have a gentle day at home (as gentle as it could be when your mom ran a daycare lol)

i really miss being able to wake up, know my brain is not in a good place, and saying “you know what, i need today for myself” without feeling guilty about it. because as an independent contractor that’s not an option. i do not get sick days. if i’m sick i still have to show up and walk dogs (unless i’m legitimately physically incapable)

just. today would’ve been nice to have for myself. and my job is the reason i feel like i need a mental health day. because i need to work on my coping mechanisms lmao. lost a $170 booking today because the client felt there was no communication. for the record- our company, when we have provided care for a client before, we do not send anything beyond whatever messages go through about confirming the booking. we only contact and meet first time clients so that we can verify info/be shown where the necessary equipment is.

but now i’m stuck sitting here trying to convince myself that losing this booking is not my fault. i didn’t know the client was freaking out until my contractor reached out. but also i could’ve been proactive and confirmed- even though it’s not standard procedure!- to keep them happy. idk. it feels like it’s my fault for not being proactive enough. especially because i have reached out to clients i had not seen in a long time in the past. so i feel like i’ve set a double standard within myself- why do i reach out to some but not others? but i usually only send those extra, unnecessary messages when something doesn’t feel right to me. if everything is normal then i follow procedure. i like having a protocol and i like sticking to it. idk. i’m just trying to cope with the guilt, and also the frustration over money because we changed our booking strategy and now it’s getting hard for me to get enough work.

[thecryptidzenith]

Thinking about powerless witches in TOH. Like, for all the magicless characters in the show, for all of the reasons why they're powerless, none of them are born as powerless witches. In fact, it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable to assert that witches who are born powerless don't actually exist. The only confirmation of it is Hunter telling Luz a lie that Belos told him, and even Willow who was a late bloomer did eventually show incredible magical prowess.

But what if they do exist. What about the witches who could never go to school because you need to preform spells to get in. Witches who could still be considered wild witches despite being physically incapable of performing magic because no coven would have them. Witches thrown out of their houses as kids for not developing magic quickly enough, or even at all. What about the people who took 'low skill, low paying' jobs because those were the only ones that could be done without magic. Luz stumbles into the Boiling Isles thinking that it's a magical place, a safe haven from all her struggles. A place free from the racism and homophobia she would have inevitably experienced in the human realm. Luz projects a lot onto the Boiling Isles, I expect that little could shatter that image as much as knowing how much society hates people who are functionally the same as her. How much they hate people who don't have magic, and how she avoids it by virtue of being a human, by virtue of being exotic. Hell, what about a little human kid who fell through a puddle and didn't get picked up by Eda or by anyone for that matter. What about them?

If we want to go back farther--remember that there's no evidence that wild magic existed as a concept before Belos, and everything to suggest that he just made it up as a scapegoat. Before that, before people could actually buy the concept of wild magic, who would have supported Belos? What kind of witches would be interested in equality between them and magic users? Who would have had nothing to lose by supporting the restricting of magic that they never even had? Belos could have promised opportunity and greatness for powerless witches (or perhaps, magicless witches--for after this, they would not be powerless anymore) at a cost that they would never have to pay. Besides, the witches would only be limited to one kind of magic, they can't use any. It's just leveling the playing field. Once he had enough support and his rhetoric was legitimized, Belos switched gears, learning that it's better to have the people who can summon fireballs with a gesture on his side than those who can't. What happened to powerless witches then? How betrayed were they, and how did they fight Belos' targeting after that?

What about those few who managed to create something beautiful despite their lack of magic? Who managed to carve out a niche for themselves in an area which didn't involve magic? There's no evidence of mechanics schools on the Boiling Isles, and Alador's abomination contraptions are complicated mechanisms. Why would he have had any reason to learn mechanics when abomination magic was enough? Furthermore, who could he possibly learned mechanics from? Mechanics might have been disgraceful work when a powerless witch did it, but when Alador Blight (emphasis on the Blight) incorporated mechanics into abominations, he was hailed as an inventive genius.

Obviously, this is all the realm of headcanon. The effect of powerless witches and their place in the Boiling Isles goes unexplored in the show, and that's fine. TOH did what it set out to do, with significantly less time than it should have had to do it. TOH is a story about oppression in the broad and soft terms. It's about individuals who become powerless and their struggles which features a rebellion populated by only a few characters. The communities of the Boiling Isles, the covens themselves and Hexside and the implied powerless witches, are not the point. Their stories are not relevant to the story of TOH.

But it's interesting to think about, isn't it? To imagine how these systems and communities would have actually worked. TOH is chalked full of allegory, specifically allegory of marginalized groups (most specifically, queer groups.) Hell, the thesis of the first episode is 'we weirdos have to stick together.' It might as well be: 'we queers have to stick together.' Powerlessness is quite obviously a disability allegory, Eda's curse is treated like a chronic illness, etc. The scenarios presented above just get a little more specific with it.

I understand why they these ideas are ignored by canon. The Boiling Isles are magical, that's the whole point. How drab would it be to follow characters who don't participate in that magic, who may be actively resentful of it. You want your audience to relate to your characters (generally,) and the audience of a show about a girl falling into a magical world is going to want to see that magical world and the magical people who occupy it. A character who despises magic and society's reliance on it would be at odds with an audience who is enthralled by magic. The exploration of the specifics and complexities of oppression is superfluous to the story, so why include it beyond broad allegory?

Cause it's fun, is the obvious answer, but I suppose that's the fandom's job, isn't it?

Anyway. Thinking about powerless witches.

[gonegrove]

Thinking about heather x eddie bc I’m nothing if not a champion of rare pairs in this comm

But just the “god he’s so fucking LAME and CRINGE and EMBARRASSING I need him CARNALLY” energy is so intense. Heather who prides herself in being The Bitch™️ and boasting about how all the boys are thirsty for her but she’s Too Good for them realizing that she wasn’t into popular hot boys because her type was scrawny shaggy haired freaks with awful personalities and a huge gatekeeping streak.

Heather realizing that the only one who can go toe to toe with her in a vaguely toxic and absolutely mean argument about some asinine shit like A Movie or SoCiEtY is Eddie Fucking Munson and it’s also unbelievably erotic to her and being like “i need to kill myself IMMEDIATELY”

Heather and Eddie as Janet and frank n furter in a rocky horror production bc they’re both attention whores, both into music as a Serious Thing and Eddie just loves anything not mainstream and music related so like ofc he went in for it. And the whole thing quickly turns into a 2 man cats the musical orgy energy shitshow bc they both just get TOO INTO PERFORMING. She’s trying to act soooooooooo normal but sadly eddie on stage singing his heart out half naked is literally too erotic for her. The entire crews job turns into just keeping them from screwing back stage like the horny theater kids they are. Good thing too bc she’s always this close to giving him a bj and if she actually did she’d have to walk into the lake never to return.

She’s actively avoiding any place he’s preforming bc she cannot be held responsible for what she might do if she sees him on stage playing guitar and she doesn’t wanna be arrested.

Eddie realizing that the most popular girl in school (I stand by heather being the Main Bitch and Chrissy simply gaining her crown after her death) is HILARIOUSLY INTO HIM. LIKE ANGRY HORNY. And first being like wtf???? Before he sees the opportunity here for Evil and is immediately delighted. Decides it’s open season for revenge of several years of bullying but pointing out to her how she wants him sooooooo bad it makes her look stupid.

Eddie challenging her to read all of Tolkien’s works, and Heather who’s physically incapable of backing down doing it and coming back with notes like “fëanor is RIGHT actually, so is melkor. I cannot believe you like this pansy ass gay apologetics shit what are you catholic??” And he’s both LIVID ON SO MANY LEVELS but also WILDLY AROUSED. There’s just something about a hot popular chick confidently having the most vile takes on his cringe exclusionary nerd shit that gets him hard. He’s horrified by this fact but also knows she wants him bad anyway so like really it’s just a matter of self control and can his self-esteem/pride take it.

All of his friends hate her and he’s like “yeah 😍 me too 😍”

She gets roped into going to/preforming in Some Town Event oblivious to the fact he is too and that’s when she gets arc of the covenant’d with his guitar playing. Mind snaps. Will power gone. He’s the shittiest dude she’s ever met she doesn’t like him AT ALL but sadly he’s also the Perfect Man and she needs him IMMEDIATELY. Legit jumps him the SECOND she can.

The kinda ppl who’ll continue an argument during sex.

Eddie loving every second of little miss rich and popular being soooo down bad for him. Loving having this level of control over someone who’s usually so “out of his league”. Loving how he can turn her brain off and make her shut up like it’s a magic trick.

Eddie slowly realizing there’s parts of heather that she never shows to anyone but he’s gotten a peak of, intentionally or not, and getting kinda possessive of that.

Heather laying on his shitty gross ass bed listening to his music and taking it seriously and talking about it musical artist to musical artist.

Heather calling his dnd group shit like “his pathetic gay loser circle jerk” and he’s just like “baby I’m going to kill you with a brick 😍”

Heather bodily taking over his hair and skin care routine. Even brushing his hair sometimes and explaining it all for when she’s not there and he’s like “lol you know I’m not doing all that”

[fluffyllamas-23]

🎮🩹🐈🍃🍝 for Jason and Ryan?

Thank you for this! As a refresher, Jason is an elementary school principal, and Ryan is an attorney. I’m also including Paul and Aiden like you suggested the other day. Paul is a writer who recently published his first novel and has had some short stories published in magazines. Aiden owns a christmas tree farm with his family (okay that’s kind of a random occupation, I know, but last year I decided I needed some OCs modeled after hallmark movie characters so here they are lmfao). Some slight TW for mentions of ab//use

🎮 What are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Jason: Pretty much all of his hobbies are outdoors or involve being active. He loves to hike. It helps him clear his mind and get his thoughts in order if his ADHD meds aren’t doing their job. He likes to go with Ryan, too. He’s into rock climbing as well. He never does it outside, but he’ll go to the gym that has a really nice rock climbing wall and can spend hours there. He also plays soccer in a rec league. He played soccer for years, all through high school and in college, and now he has the rec league to get his soccer fix.

Ryan: Ryan loves to read, and his favorite genre is high fantasy. He has a few authors whose work he loves to relax to, and he will frequently re-read books. If he’s had a really long and stressful day, he’ll come home and pick up his VERY well loved copy of LOTR and will read that for a bit to decompress. He loves to hike, too. It’s something he and Jason like to do together. Sometimes they bring their kids on kid-friendly ones, other times they find someone to watch them so they can do more strenuous ones. He loves to play the piano, too. He’s been playing off and on for a number of years, and really enjoys finding his favorite movie scores and trying to teach them to himself. 

Paul: Paul is a big art history buff. He loves going on museum dates with Aiden (they’re his FAVORITE dates), and going to the museum when there are new exhibits. He also has a few pieces from his favorite artists hanging up in his office and their house. He’s a big reader, too. Kind of cliche for a writer, but he truly believes that the best way to write well is to consume as much literature as possible, so he does. When he was married to his ex, he loved reading because it was an escape from his really toxic relationship and something he could dissociate with. Now, though, he reads more for enjoyment and relaxation. He’s really into film as well. He has favorites from all decades and will spend hours listening to podcasts on his favorite ones and consuming as much media about them as possible. 

Aiden: Aiden is clinically insa-I mean loves to run! He was on the cross-country team all throughout middle and high school, and kept it up after. It’s something that’s really grounding and soothing for him, and he’ll often go on a second run if he’s feeling extra stressed for whatever reason that day. He likes pottery, too, and will often go to the local pottery shop where he can take classes. One day he’d like to have a studio setup in their house, but until then he just goes to the shop. He’s a really great cook, too and loves it a lot. He loves challenging himself to make really complicated recipes and can usually pull them off beautifully. Paul also enjoys this hobby of his because he always benefits from it lmao. 

🩹 Does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

Jason: Jason has no physical disabilities, but he is neurodivergent. He has ADHD and is medicated for it. He takes meds everyday which usually help beautifully - it quiets his brain and allows him to be much more organized in his day to day life. He’s an elementary school principal and he NEEDS to be able to be quick and with it enough when managing his employees, the kids, and their parents. It’s a lot and he would feel incapable of doing it well if he weren’t medicated. On days where his normal dose doesn’t work for whatever reason, he’s been prescribed another low dose, quick release med he can take to give him the boost he needs. He’s also dyslexic. He had the loveliest tutor when he was in school who had a lot of experience working with students who have learning disabilities and it helped him make it through. As an adult, he still won’t read for fun because he finds it stressful. It’s difficult to keep his place, and the words get all jumbled up and he gets really frustrated. He can do it for work when he has to but he has to really slow down and take his time. One of his office managers, Alaina, will often read whatever it is to him and help him transcribe emails as long as it’s not any sensitive student information he has to read. She’s pretty much family at this point (he was her student in his first year of teaching, so he’s known her for a lot of her life) and she never makes him feel judged or embarrassed by needing help.  

Ryan: Ryan doesn’t have any physical or mental disabilities. 

Paul: Paul has no physical disabilities, but he has anxiety and depression and is medicated for both. The antidepressants are an everyday, he MUST take them, kind of thing, but the anxiety meds are more for if all of his coping mechanisms aren’t working and he needs them on a rescue-basis. 

Aiden: Aiden has no physical or mental disabilities.

🐈 Does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

Jason: Jason has a wide circle of friends that he likes to hang out with sometimes. They’ll all go out to the movies, or for dinner and drinks, stuff like that. Most of them also have kids, so they’ll often have gatherings where the kids can go hang out while the adults do as well. Even though he loves that bigger group of friends, he has a pretty small circle of a handful of friends he’d consider his best friends.

Ryan: Ryan prefers a smaller circle of friends. He’s not a huge fan of large social gatherings, though he’ll sometimes come to dinner and drinks with Jason’s larger group of friends. Sometimes he’ll go out for happy hour with his coworkers at his firm, too, but overall he definitely prefers to keep a really small close group of friends. 

Paul: Paul is really introverted. It takes a while for him to trust people enough to let them in because he just doesn’t trust people easily. His ex-husband was abusive and really isolated him, so he lost a lot of friends during that relationship. He’s slowly building his social circle back, but it’s just going to take awhile. 

Aiden: Aiden has a larger social circle than Paul, but he’s not looking to expand it, really. He still doesn’t have a ton of friends in his social circle, as he really prefers quality over quantity. 

🍃 What is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

Jason: Jason was a big fan of hands-on subjects.  His favorite academic subject was any science class he took that had a heavy hands-on component, and his favorite non-academic subjects were ceramics and woodshop. He’s really good at working with his hands and I think if he hadn’t gone into teaching, he’d have skipped college and gone to some sort of trade school.

Ryan: Ryan’s favorite subjects in school were pretty much any history class, and his speech and debate classes. That may be kind of cliche bc lawyer, but he really thrived in those classes.

Paul: His favorite classes were always his English classes. He’s always loved all sorts of literature and writing, and had always had his teachers tell him he should seriously consider becoming a writer. He also loved history, specifically the art history courses he took in college. He would frequently take those as his elective even if they weren’t technically considered electives. 

Aiden: Aiden was NOT an academic person. He didn’t like school, and there were no subjects he was passionate about. He hated being stuck inside, he hated the fluorescent lights, and he hated having to sit for long stretches of time. He’s smart and did well by just skating by but he resented having to sit and learn everything lmao. He did really like gym class and ended up being in cross country in middle and high school. He just has a lot of energy and it wasn’t conducive to having to sit for long periods of time. 

🍝 What is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

Jason: Jason is your classic ADHD “hyperfixation meal” kinda guy. He’ll only want to eat something for weeks and then all of a sudden is so tired of it and doesn’t want it anymore, and then he’ll move onto the next thing. He’s not really a fan of complicated, fancy food. He’d much rather have pizza and wings, or mac n cheese, or a burger than going to grab sushi.

Ryan: Ryan, in contrast to his husband, is a big fan of really interesting food, complex food. He really likes any kind of Asian food, especially sushi and will frequently go get it with the other partners and attorneys at his firm. 

Paul: Paul really loves diner food. Grilled cheese, mac n cheese, burgers, that kind of thing. He also likes steak, which is good because Aiden loves that. He’s pretty picky and likes what he likes. His ex always made him feel guilty for his food preferences and would often make comments about how he can’t have what he likes because Paul is soooooo picky and it would make him feel bad. Aiden will tell him not to feel bad about what he wants to eat and he’s happy to go wherever Paul wants to go.

Aiden: Aiden is a big steak and potatoes person. He loves loaded baked potatoes and loaded baked potato soup, and if he could subsist solely on steak and potatoes, he WOULD. He and Paul will frequently go out on dates to the museum and then finish the night off with a fancy steakhouse. 

[morgana-ren]

I have sent you a truly embarrassing number of anon asks over the last two months and you have been so creative and kind in every one of your answers. I found your blog and it really means a lot to know that there are other people out there with a similarly f'd up relationship to sex. Makes me feel a bit less like a broken freak. You don't need to respond to this if you don't want to, I just wanted to let you know.

Honestly, I love it. That's the trouble with OCs is there isn't a fandom or like.. somewhere you can turn to when you want to indulge. The entire thing rests on people who know them and are interested in them. If I want to read about Reaver, I can (sorta, anyway, because his fandom is dead and all the stories are mostly long gone) but it's not my Reaver. Ilya and Corvus just have nothing but what me and my friend write. Astarion is currently being dissected by the fandom and it's vastly different than what I'm looking for (even as I love doing that too.)

What I'm saying is I love the questions. It's a lot of fun to think about them and these specific scenarios and I got really lucky that I have people who take an interest. I genuinely want to get to all of the questions at some point, and I'm running through them with love. I genuinely have a lot of fun answering them and I love seeing questions about them. I think it's really cool and fun that people care and enjoy them like we do! It's fantastic to see because sometimes a new hyperfixation or character is a fuckin' lifesaver and I will never turn down making new content when my head isn't working to make it originally.

I've known I was 'busted' since I was really young, and in a way, it's the healthiest thing about me. I've had time to break it down. I recognize where these desires come from, why I feel them, and where they're initially stemming from, and I know it is absolutely not something you put up with irl. I know that me liking people like this isn't some grand statement on me as a whole, but a fantasy that stems out from my experiences. I accept it. I don't feel bad about it or really feel a need to explain it. People can think it's gross or unhealthy or whatever else have you if it makes them feel better, but I am sure of myself and know it doesn't make me a bad person. It just is. It's never something we have to justify. Most people who grill you or are cruel to you have legitimately no idea what they're talking about. I've been a darkfic author for long enough to see the ridiculous fandom wars that arise over dumb shit like this where people sling shit baselessly despite knowing nothing.

I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying it because I have seen what people have to say about the matter and like, from a psychological standpoint, they are completely incorrect. I went to school for this. It was my dream career for a long time. Most people just say shit but don't actually understand the processes behind it. They operate on gut instinct and that gut instinct is immediately "Disgust" if they cannot relate. But instead of having compassion and trying to be supportive or trying to understand or just leaving us alone, they lash out because they are physically incapable of putting themselves in our shoes and feel they have 'morality' on their side, and that allows them to act like amoral twats towards other human beings, ironically enough.

It has a way of making us feel broken or bad or just not like a good person. When you're beset on all sides and you know your interests are strange or that something isn't quite healthy, it's easy to fall into that pit. But nothing is ever so simple, especially with the human brain and growing and learning and becoming a person. It hasn't bothered me in a long time and honestly, it is so, so freeing. I'm totally fine with it. I don't feel guilt or shame. It just is. Other people can think it's odd, but I've always been odd. No big shocker there.

Sex is complicated! It can have a remarkable impact on the brain! Humans are fragile while also being incredibly resilient. Sometimes things scar us, and that's okay. Sometimes we develop strange desires. Sometimes we end up with warped ideas. It's normal and okay, and really, there isn't any 100 percent sure fire healthy way to deal with things. For some, it's fantasy. For others, complete abstinence. Some people choose to never unpack it at all. The important thing is knowing your boundaries and the ways you should be treated in real life. Never letting someone hurt you or step on you or disrespect you. Your body and your desires are your own entirely and what others have to say means nothing. They will treat you with respect or you have all rights to completely cut them out and off.

Knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is the biggest thing, and it's a line I see people blurring or incapable of seeing every day and that is legitimately scary. It's important to look at things and understand yourself. Know that it's okay. You're just you, and that's not wrong or broken or disgusting. People have a very hard time understanding other people's perspectives and they really like to make that everyone else's problem. Don't let it get you down.

There's tons of us out there. It isn't nearly as uncommon as they'd have you believe. Hell, it's not even as unhealthy as they'd have you think. It's okay to be okay with it. It's okay to embrace it as long as you are putting boundaries up in your every day life and are good to yourself. That is what is truly important.

Thank you so much and I appreciate every single message you send. I haven't gotten a single inbox I've disliked or didn't find fascinating and they're always a pleasure to answer. Always feel free to send me anything!

[hellsurvivr]

Chandni and Deeks

*      ―    ﴾  𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴  ﴿ // still accepting ( @mythosisms )

who is more likely to hurt the other?

neither. im sorry but these two are just incapable of hurting the other. like I don't even think we could make em do it if we tried.

who is emotionally stronger?

i'd say deeks. but that's only because he's learned how to process and shut them down. and how to turn them into a strength and not a weakness .

who is physically stronger?

erm ofc deeks with his muscles kinda wins out. not that chandni minds she uses his muscles.

who is more likely to break a bone? 

deeks. he's a bloody idiot, so ya know getting himself hurt and his bones broken kinda comes with the territory.

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

tbh i don't think either do. because chandni isn't going to upset deeks, and well deeks doesn't have it in his heart to hurt chandni. he just physically can't bring himself to upset her. hence letting her talk his ear off, all the time.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? 

deeks. he's male, and can be an ass sure. but he also has a heart and he will apologise first after an argument. it's just the way he's wired.

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

chandni treats deeks. going back to my above statement, deeks is an idiot and gets himself hurt. so chandni has to do the patching up.

who is in constant need of comfort? 

i'd say both. i mean theyve both gone through some really testing shit, and need to be comforted in some way. of course seeks is a lot less open to it at first. and would rather comfort chandni than let her comfort him. at first

who gets more jealous? 

deeks. look he's not blind, he sees the way people look at her, and for that he will most definitely get jealous of people looking. and if he gets violent then well, that's on them for staring too long.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

neither. sorry i can't see them doing it. it's not in their natures.

who will propose? 

deeks. he's old school okay. he will propose and it will be ina way he's managed to gather from little hints she's dropped and just yep he'd make it perfect.

who has the most difficult parents?

i'd go with chandni. but let's not forget chandni's 'father' who will end up getting shot by deeks, or torn apart. which ever he's in the mood for.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

both. both are comforted by the little touch.

who comes up for the other all the time? 

both. there is nothing that would stop either of them being there for each other. literally any time, any day. no questions asked.

who hogs the blankets? 

chandni. Deeks doesn't need them so he throws them off him. meaning they're chandni's.

who gets more sad? 

chandni. mostly because deeks doesn't show it. he does, just not that often. so this one is more chandni.

who is better at cheering the other up? 

deeks. he might not look it, but this man knows just the thing you need. a hug, a comforting meal, a movie. whatever he knows and will do it.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

chandni. sorry it ain't deeks' style.

who is more streetwise?

deeks. mostly because that's his world. he knows how to work it and how to survive within in.

who is more wise?

both. they're both wise in different ways. they have their strengths and weaknesses, which compliment each other.

who’s the shyest? 

deeks. not literally, but because he's not the biggest fan of people, or certain situations. he'll stand silently, which makes it seem like he's shy.

who boasts about the other more? 

both. they both boast about the other in different ways. nothing will stop them showing off their other halves. they love it.

who sits on who’s lap? 

chandni sits on deeks. she runs that shit like it's her throne.

[terrible-twst-oc-ideas]

3 Terrible Three Questions - Unique Magic Edition

Question 1: What is your Unique Magic, and what does it do? 

🌰 “It’s called ‘Lover’s Favor.’ I can take any object – let’s say, oh, a hairbrush– and give it to someone, with the instruction that it be returned to me by a certain time. This can be a vague time period, like two weeks from now, or more specific, like Monday the 15th at 4:30PM. No matter what date I set though, the object will always find its way back to me on that deadline – usually through the person it was given to. The affected objects radiate a passive, compulsory force, making the assigned person want to return them by the date. Though, that’s not always the case – the spell does have a failsafe, where if not delivered to me, they’ll simply reappear, usually on my doorstep or in my bag. It’s always a shame when that happens, especially when I cast it specifically in the hopes of meeting someone again, but, alas. No good relationship was ever perfectly engineered.”

🎶 “I call it ‘Enthralling Lament’. Whenever I play music, and whenever I wish for it to come into effect, it causes anyone who hears my playing to become fully entranced by the song. No talking, no distractions, not even other thoughts: their full attention becomes wholly placed on me and my music. While someone is within this trance, they’re also put into a more heightened state of suggestion, allowing me to somewhat influence their thoughts and actions, however vaguely. I… may have used this power to convince the dorm head to let me practice during late-night hours once or twice. But as far as you know, that’s hearsay.”

🏹 “Mine’s called ‘Golden Pelt’. When I fire it up, it not only makes me even stronger and more resilient than normal, but it also protects me from physical attacks and damage. Bruises, scratches, even broken bones– can’t get a thing while it’s active! Though, it only works for a minute tops, and I gotta wait for all the blot to dry up before I can use it again. I guess fate decided a Unique Magic as great as mine needed a serious handicap.”

Question 2: How did you discover your Unique Magic?

🌰 “It was during middle school. There was this… guy, I was seeing at the time, but he told me he lived a good way’s away. I was worried about being able to see him again, so, I steadily crafted my Unique Magic to guarantee that I would always have a way to draw him back to me – without outright forcing it, of course. There’s no romance in that. Though, by the time I finally perfected it… well… let’s just say, the romance fell apart. Of course, my Unique Magic has its uses outside of why it was created, but it still upsets me that I haven’t yet used it for its intended purpose.”

🎶 “It was honestly a bit of a surprise. No one in my family was a mage, and since I wasn’t born with the ability to use it, I initially believed I was incapable of performing magic altogether. That was, until I composed my first actual performance piece, a wonderfully haunting lament. I had spent weeks perfecting it, and I wanted everyone who heard it to be as enthralled by it as I was. Only, when I played it… I found that my audience was all quite literally enthralled. I experimented some more, and discovered that I could induce this state with any song I played, so long as I desired it to happen. It was around this time that one of my teachers realized I was a mage, and recommended me for magic school. I’ve refined it further since then, and gave it the name “Enthralling Lament” in honor of its origin.

🏹 “It was during a bout of wrestling as a kid. The neighborhood kids had turned it into a contest, and I really wanted to win. Unfortunately, there was this one kid who liked to claw people to win, and he’d argue the rules so much it was easier to just let him have his way. It came down to me and him, and when he started clawing at me, all I could think about was pushing through the pain and coming out on top– and suddenly, I felt this huge rush of adrenaline. His claws felt like nothing, and I pinned him like it was nothing too. Didn’t realize it was magic until I got home, and couldn’t find any scratch marks on me. Man, I was so excited to tell my folks about it… well. At least the other kids treated me like royalty for a week.”

Question 3: Does your Unique Magic have any special conditions or quirks?

🌰 “My Unique Magic only works if I kiss the object it’s casted on first. It acts as a sort of indicator – a clear mark of what object should receive the enchantment. Although, it does limit what objects I can cast it on. I’m not willing to put my mouth on everything.”

🎶 “I can only use my Unique Magic while playing music. That’s somewhat of a given considering its nature, though it does limit its versatility. I should also note that, while it does produce a heightened state of suggestibility, this is not true hypnosis or mind control. I can more easily persuade someone to act a certain way, but I can not force them to do anything. In fact, I’ve observed that quite a few people are actively resistant to my attempts at coercion.”

🏹 “It can’t protect me from other spells. Believe me, I’ve tried, but I’ve never been able to pull it off. I guess even the greatest abilities still can’t be perfect…” 

~~

As you can see, your faithful mod’s been thinking a lot about the Terrible Three’s Unique Magics lately, so I also decided to include some additional trivia and their incantations as well!

Trivia:

-Delano’s magic was inspired by depictions of courtly love in various Arthurian legends. In particular, there was a trope of a lady giving an object to her favorite knight before he set out on a journey or fought in a battle, with the promise that it would return unharmed – and, by implication, that he would return safely as well.

-Lionel’s magic of course comes from the Nemean Lion’s famous golden fur, which was impervious to all forms of attack. Fun fact, this is also why Lionel has so much arrow-shaped jewelry and is into archery: in the original myth, Hercules initially tried and failed to kill the lion with arrows.

-Piper’s magic isn’t directly based on any one ability of Forte’s, but more so the idea of those abilities: manipulating people into wanting to stay and appreciate his musical talents – and by extension, him – for as long as possible. Also, I couldn’t settle on any exact rules for how the music-based semi-tangible illusions Forte uses in the movie would work as a Unique Magic, so I decided to go for something more symbolic instead.

Incantations:

🌰 “My beloved, heed my wish. Take this object, and keep it well. Promise it will return unscathed. Lover’s Favor.”

🏹 “My gold will never tarnish! Victory is mine! Golden Pelt!”

🎶 “Let your troubles fade away. Let your sorrows be soothed by my song. Let my music become your heart’s very keeper! Enthralling Lament!”

[misanthropicvampire]

6. 13. 14. 16. 30. 43.

<3

sexy.

Age you get mistaken for? - varies wildly and depends who's doing the mistaking. when I was younger I was able to pass as 16-18 because of my height, now most people get my age right except particularly hammered bar dwellers who assume that I'm in uni. fake id serves me well

Biggest turn ons? - I'm assuming that the answer here should be different from what I find most attractive (physically) in a man/woman so. submissiveness, obviously. but also a willingness not to be easily pushed around, some amount of conflict/resistance. I like people that I'm able to fluster and that can be easily embarrassed, masochistic tendencies, eager to explore new spaces and trusts my judgement. I'm very attracted to people who don't play it cool/hard to get and are open about when they want something and how much they want it - nothing that's more of a turn on than someone who isn't ashamed to be a little desperate

Biggest turn offs? - over-apologeticness and the need to hide whatever we do out of shame. fickleness, constantly changing their mind about what they want out of our encounters, extreme jealousy/possessiveness that prevents me from having my freedom, jumping the gun and assuming that certain actions = certain commitments without discussing it with me first, engaging in petty relationship dramatics

I'll love you if... you respect my need for a private life and making my own decisions, you neither idealise nor demonise me and accept my good and bad aspects as essential parts of my personality. you take a genuine interest in my passions instead of engaging me only out of politeness. you have a flexible perspective of the world and consider different viewpoints/take on board new insights. you don't play mindgames and are very direct with how you feel and what you want/don't want. you let me play a protective role and know that I do this not because I think you're incapable, but because it's how I best connect with others and demonstrate that I care

What I hate the most about work/school? - of many things, the expectation to obey without question and the assumption that authority figure's viewpoints are the only correct ones/that I'm too uneducated to have a worthy perspective

Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately? - while I'm exclusively attracted to women in my real life the number of attractive female characters/celebrities that I can list off the top of my head is appallingly low. coming immediately to mind is trent reznor in the '90s when he'd throw himself around the stage floor in next to nothing sweating bullets and screaming lyrics along the lines of being beaten and cut up

[makya24-aris]

When I was 18 I got out of my parents house. I went to my dream school. I felt so relieved, but as the time passed and I felt safe, I started having a lot of emotional issues I didn't know about. A year later I started dating my very loving ex partner, and somehow, I got so much worse. I felt incapable of healing everything that was resurfing all at once and still be a functioning person, good student, friend and partner. I fell ill constantly, I was more depressed and anxious that I had ever been, and I was angry at myself, because I had Everything I Ever Wanted, and I felt incapable of enjoying it, because my past kept haunting me.

The things that gave my hope and motivation started feeling like huge responsabilities. I was overwhelmed with all the beautiful possibilities, and I felt undeserving, scared, small, and incompetent. I even started having physical problems. I had an accident in one of my classes that led me to start physycal therapy. There I would learn that half of my leg muscles were super weak and the other half were contractured, mostly because of years of stress. Apparently the only thing holding me together, because when the therapist helped me relax those tighten muscles, I stopped being able to hold my weight as I used to.

All my life I had been fighting to deny weakness. My parents were controlling and obssesed with perfection, being strong. I fought constantly to demonstrate that I wasn't weak, as they said. But after all of that, I was Fragile.

I started to have a lot of trouble in school, which was a huge hit in my ego as I used to have perfect grades. I missed class because I couldn't get up. Started having constant and violent panic attacks. I needed help in stairs.

My partner was stressed, they wanted so bad to help me, but they didn't know how. Therapy, phychiatrists, even tho it sometimes helped, I was a rollercoaster. Some days I was great, others I struggled with pain.

I became dependant on my parter, which was very hurtful to our relationship. I made so many awful mistakes. And my classmates wouldn't work with me because I was very inconsistent with what I could do.

I used to pride myself in morality and being good at what I do. Now I was depressed and so angry.

When my relationship fell apart I hit rock bottom. I hated myself too much for wasting every chance at being happy. After all the crying and yelling. I spent some months simply thinking, I went back to therapy, more constantly. Understood that sometimes the recovery is way more painful than getting the wound.

I talked to my school, told them how I had been feeling for the past 3 years, and they understood. Teachers helped me and talked to me, said they saw how much effort I was putting when I was there, and how hurt I looked whenever I failed at doing something, tried approaching me a few times, but I was too defeated for it to actually do any good. So I started opening up more, and even tho some people didn't get it, others did and that made us closer friends.

I recovered the strenght in my legs, and you have no idea how happy I was when I realized I could do everything I used to do, but without the pain.

And slowly, I'm getting my shit together. In a good way. Not forcefully and out of guilt, but out of care for my wellbeing.

I'm about to be 22 and finish school in a few months. I started dating again, and I'm hopefull, but very careful with how I do things this time.

My past still haunts me sometimes, I even have some new fresh trauma I need to get to eventually. But I'm taking care of myself and being giving me the kindness I wish I was offered growing up.

You are not broken and forever burnt out. It takes time and compassion. You are good and deserving of love. Please take care.

where i’m at girls

[wingedantichrist]

Still alive, I guess. I don't think that anyone would be interested in my ramblings, so I guess I'm talking to myself here. I lost motivation to blog something about myself, and I don't know how to gain it back. It's been almost two years and a half since I fell on sickness and never recovered, just got worse and worse. Before that I was kinda successfully navigating life, despite pandemic etc. I'm officially diagnosed with autism and cPTSD now, and still in the process of diagnosing physical things. What I thought previously was rheumatoid arthritis turned out to be hypermobility, possibly hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. That's fucking why RA meds were not working all this time. Can't go anywhere without mobility aids anymore due to POTS, which my doctor still puts in my chart as "definitive diagnosis". All of my active personality collapsed. Can't go places as much as I want to. Can't do things, can't exercise. Whenever I wanna have fun and do something I have to stuff myself with a shit ton of caffeine and diclofenac to be able to actually do it. Autism related sensory issues got worse due to POTS and other shit like pain and fatigue I experience on daily basis. Brain fog is also something to consider, adding more bullshit to my plate. I'm not capable of communicating with people the way I used to, I can't mask my AuDHD self as effectively as I could. Well, I also don't want to mask anymore, I grew into unhinged gremlin in the past few years but... sometimes it's necessary, but I can't keep up with the mask longer than for an hour at my best. I definitely can't work jobs I used to work at before. And I'm fucking loosing my thoughts rn.

I'm stuck in the country I don't want to be in. The plan was to work abroad, save up some money, come back to my homeland and buy a flat, so I can chill the fuck out together with my husband. Now it moves slow, cause I'm sick. I got betrayed here by people whom I considered my friends and became homeless while being sick. Glad for the sickness benefits here, but if I let out my feelings they'll eat me alive. I don't want to be here alone. I wanna go home. And I can't say that I'm incapable of going back to my homeland, but I have nothing to my name there. I still don't have enough to buy a flat. Yes, my husband is there, but that's a different story. We will not survive together with all the care I need only on his income. Maybe in the future, because he's an incredible tattoo artist, but he just started legally working while studying and still needs to build his name, let's say...

I'm just so tired and desperate. I'm trying to keep my sanity, but it's hard. I don't have access to psychologist for a couple of months already, they couldn't continue with my cPTSD treatment because I'm not stable enough. Well, I don't have stable ground under my feet. I'm a bit less disregulated since I finally had prescription for beta-blockers to help minimise POTS symptoms, but that doesn't solve being in a homeless shelter and uncertainty about income and future in general...

Everything is fucked up. Multiple genocides, climate crisis, my friends from Ukraine under bombs, idk how people live in this world just ignoring this shit. I'm going at the multiple different protests when I can. For Ukraine, for Palestine. For workers, for trans folks. Generally for human rights. I became a huge antifascist. And I hate, I hate that we're lied to at school, that fascism is dead. It's not. It wasn't eliminated. We still have to fight same old shit.

I'm just heavily dissociating rn. I guess that's why I don't write anything anymore. It's like opening a Pandora's box. My body is screaming with emotions, but I keep my mouth shut, because I'm too afraid to express them. It's going to be loud and ugly, if I try. I know it. And I'm at the shelter. This is not my home. It's not completely safe here to be like that. And I can't go to the forest the way I used to, just to scream it out. I'm fucking disabled. Heavily traumatized sick cat in the corner, covered in dirt and fleas, afraid to scream and hiss, no energy in this body to move.