#school wasn't great today
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Of course. The library is closed at lunch today. The one time I need it most at school is the time it closes down. Why won't they let me in!? It's not like I even listen to anything the teachers might say! I'm a quiet kid! I sit in there to get away from the noisy kids and the ones who eat! Do you know anywhere else at school where kids aren't allowed to eat!? I don't know of any. But no! They had to close it on me! So I suffer in silence, miserable and alone. Near noisy kids who swear and eat and my life a living hell. Screw everything and everyone involved in this. Noise, noise, noise, noise, ever persistent noise! I hate that I have to be subjected to this! sigh…
#this is just one in a series of posts#school wasn't great today#it got better#but i had one full hour of torment#sigh...#school#high school#noise#school days#stress#stressed#asd#autism#neurodivergent#autistic#my thoughts#adhd#school life#school issues#school problems#school struggles#sigh#school problem#school vent#vent post#vents
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60 years ago - on November 16th, 1964, the Animals recorded "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"!! 🐾✨️
#i have to hold off on posting my art for the time being since i was finishing up school assignments this past week but 👀#in the coming days....... something very cool will be finished....#aNYWAY. I LOVE THIS SONG I LOOOOOVE IT SO MUCH.#such a great cover and really demonstrates the animals' range when it comes to r&b#a great follow-up to 'i'm crying' because the lyrical/melodic progression of both songs are very similar#('boom boom' came out inbetween them BUT THE POINT STILL STANDS)#btw speaking of price-burdon the b-side is 'club a-go-go' by alan price and eric burdon teehee#THANK YOU MICKIE MOST. FOR LETTING THEM USE ONE OF THEIR ORIGINALS ON THE B-SIDE.#also this is The Song i think of when i think about how great of a drummer john is and how his jazzy style permeates through their music#i'M ALWAYS TAPPING ALONG TO JOHN'S BEAT IN THIS SONG#anyway aaAAAAA GONNA WORK ON MY PROJECT ALL DAY TODAY. SCHOOL'S OUT ANIMALS IN. DR PEPPER AND MIGRAINE MEDICATION: TAKEN.#the footage is from 'pop gear'/'go go mania' by the way!!! filmed in early 1965!!#since this song wasn't released until january of 1965 and alan has his SWOOPY BANGS#eric burdon#alan price#hilton valentine#chas chandler#john steel#the animals#classic rock#british rock#british invasion#60s rock#the girl can't help it#ICONIC MOMENTS IN ANIMALS HISTORY that i did NOT forget about this year!!!!!!#i have a running trend of forgetting about November 16th bUT MICKIE MOST HIT ME OVER THE HEAD AND I DIDN'T THIS TIME#alan also had a concert this week which kept me sane 🥹
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I'm pretty sure you could draw a straight line from the 1980's Satanic Panic to the creation of Project 2025, but I'm also convinced if Ronald Reagan was not president during the 80s, then the actual spread of the Satanic Panic would not have been as big as it eventually was.
#ash talks#satanic panic#this is just me talking#but it's interesting#that Reagan's presidency was during the era most noted for the Satanic Panic's height#even though it also happened right on into the 90s and 00s and resurfaced in the 10s and 20s to a frightening degree#but I think if it wasn't for Reagan's appeal to Evangelicals then the Satanic Panic would not have been as great as it was in the 80s#up into the 90s and today#you really don't understand how prevalent that narrative of the Satanic Panic was#Oprah did a whole show on it as well as a number of other talk shows#they also spread misinformation#it should also be noted that it wasn't merely DnD they were targeting but books and tv shows as well as toys music people practices#and public schools#watch any Satanic Panic video made by a religious organization at the time and they'll target public schools as cesspools of evil#stuff like meditation yoga and therapy were also targeted by Evangelicals due to them being from other cultures and for mental health#don't believe me? there's a whole 13 part series which covers topics like Halloween meditation freemasons the occult and yoga#people only talk about the Halloween one though
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In celebration of my birthday I made something almost completely irrelevant to my birthday
#there's actually a mini me hidden in there#inky'sart#inkyucu#sams#tsams#sams au#fnaf au#multiple AU'S i will not be tagging#dca au#sams solar#tsams solar#solar sams#solar tsams#fnaf sun#dca sun#sun dca#sun fnaf#sams ruin#ruin sams#tsams ruin#ruin tsams#ok we're deep enough into the tags for me to make a mini rant#today wasn't actually to great of a day#my menstrual cycle started today#today was the first day of school starting again#i actually made this with the background noise of people yelling#it just... it wasn't great. hopefully next year will be better#(I do want to add that some good things did happen - it's just that the bad things today kinda uh... outweigh them unfortunately)
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my niece is staying with us for the whole weekend for the first time. until now it's always been one night only, not two.
it's the second night now and I have already decided this is not happening again anytime soon. I'm so fucking exhausted. it'd be less exhausting if it was my nephew, I think - he's older and also doesn't need as much help (even when he was her age).
I love my niece but she just asks so many questions. like when we're watching a show or a movie, even if it's one she has seen before (even multiple times), she doesn't understand what's going on and constantly asks me to explain everything. I don't mind it, really, but it does take a lot of energy. plus tonight it took over two hours for her to fall asleep because she was scared by the noises of the house and the nearby road. I get it, but damn I'm so fucking tired, I just want to sleep 😭
#my nephew will get to stay for two nights soon so that it's fair and everything#but then I think we'll go back to one night only for a while#I just can't sleep when someone else is here. and I do not handle being tired well. or rather being even more tired than usual#so yeah no this is too much#I'm so glad I don't have children. I literally would not survive#we played board games with her today. her idea. she chose the gsme#but it was so fucking difficult.....#I think most kids would have understood this game at like. 10 maybe. probably before that really#she's 12 and a half and just did not get it at all#she's got difficulties learning and she's finally getting (more) help for that in school now but I'm really.. a bit shocked that it took#this long for her parents to accept that#she's a great kid but it's been obvious since she started school that she needs more help#so anyway yeah it's 3am and I think she finally fell asleep after I put Charmed on for her#I've got a massive headache and I'm so fucking tired I feel like I'm losing my mind lol#couldn't sleep last night & I hope it's better tonight. but having someone else here is stressful.#ugh I wish this wasn't so hard for me. I want to be the fun aunt (I'm their only aunt.. aunt-like person... whatever) but I know I get more#and more impatient when they're here. I hate that. but I can't change it. I've tried! for 10 years! but it didn't work#don't get me wrong - I'm never mean or angry with them. I just get somewhat annoyed and I know it's noticeable and I hate that#they don't seem to mind. they love visiting us. but I don't like it because I hated the way adults treated me when I was a kid so I want to#be better#:(#anyway I have to sleep now or tomorrow will be hell :)#personal
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today was fantastic and we're topping it off with a new litwtc ep
fuck yeah i am thriving
#i recently fully adopted The Mindset#yk “do it scared” “do it bad” loving all the little things in life etcetera etcetera#it has been. incredibly effective holy shit everything is great now??#a combination of not being burnt out from school anymore & learning to unmask & my will wood obsession & The Mindset is fixing me#i'm not tired all the time!! i'm feeling the urge to create and i feel like i can actually do it!!!!!!!!#I'm just enjoying living for the sake of living!!!!!!!! i have literally NEVER felt like this before!!!!!!!!!!!#i could confidently say that today was the best day i have lived so far#it wasn't particularly special in events but i've been Life-ing so well AND new litwtc episode ofc#and i bet tomorrow will be great too#i'm so happy that this is the point i'm at and i know it'll probably end when i get stressed with work again but that hasn't happened yet#so imma just keep living#the tags of this post don't have much to do with litwtc but i'm tagging it anyways#litwtc#life in the world to come
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It's my birthday today, and I'm now as old as kita shinsuke in the timeskip! 🥳
#wasn't sure if i wanted to celebrate here but KABU CAME HOME in my 4th multi pull and the world HAVE to know!!! ❤️🔥#legit shook my mom's shoulders in the middle of a jbbq spot because i didn't expect to pull him this early in a pokefair scout 😭💖#also! peek my hbslv photocards from 42yojin on the bird app 🤩💝 they came earlier this month and i gotta flex that here waughhhh 🥺🫶#anyway: here's to another year hoping that i can be somewhat healthy! i sure hope this month's medicine dosage works haha :')#and for whatever shitshow awaits me when i start school again in sept. nawt sure how i'm gonna wing it with my condition but 🤷♀️#that will be a problem i'll deal when i get there. thankfully i've been getting better at nawttt borrowing grief and anxiety from the futur#here's to hoping i can also live the ちゃんとやんえん way like kitasang does... i need have just half of his resilience to organize my life lmao 😭#but i'm grateful to have lived long enough to see the beauty in life 🥺🫶 met all kinds of amazing people and had tons of fun too!#also i went out today for ~3 hours 🥳🥂 my joints are sore as hell but i had fun + looked and felt pretty + bought a new jacket as my gift#most importantly KABU-SAN CAME HOME RRRRRAAAAHHHH ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 燃えろおおおおおおお!!!!!#LAST WISH but here's to hoping my exhaustion + stress from may disappears soon 😭🤚 i miss writing and i think it's interfering my writing#i hope you all have a great day ahead!!! 🫂💖 and kabu + larry comes home soon if you pull for them!!! 🥺🍀#personal
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新年快乐!🐉
Happy Chinese New Year!🐉
Wishing you a prosperous year of the Dragon! 🐉
#happy chinese new year#the picture of me on the left is from my second lunar new year festival last sunday#the picture of me in the green is from today#literally had no idea there was a festival this evening when my friend and i went out to eat sushi for my early birthday dinner#so i have gone to three different chinese new year festivals in the past two weeks#which is honestly great#because i haven't celebrated chinese new year in almost 6 years since i moved to the mainland#because in college there really wasn't a place to celebrate chinese new year#and then in grad school there wasn't really an asian district around to celebrate at#so i am soaking in all the new year prosperity i can fucking get to make up for it#(i used to celebrate it all the time when i lived in hawaii)#(i am 1/4th chinese just fyi though i REALLY don't look it)
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there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.
#i lowkey had an awful day today lol#and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it#there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for#the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the#creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so#aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to#cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was#like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was#idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and#everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers#couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high#school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk.#it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and#ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol#so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed#to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the#song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol#sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk
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Angry autistic customers/patients are the best angry customers/patients because when they're mad at you for something you can just ask them about their special interest and they'll happily forget what they're mad about and info dump on you.
#patient today was very antsy about how late his appointment was running#justified bc we WERE running stupid late due to an earlier patient coming late#but while talking about how much the lateness was stressing him out he mentioned litigation#so I asked him about law#and he spent the ENTIRE rest of his waiting time breaking down the definition of litigation and how much law school sucks#it was great! (/genuine)#Dusty works#(I mean he wasn't actually MAD but he was a bit stressed)
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finally got my hair all curly today ohohoh im gonna be unstopable it looks so nice
#wasn't even trying today i stay winning#also gonna explode having so much fun in class today because we're just learning about humor#great day for me I love school so much
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I got home from school around an hour or two ago. I now feel tired and exhausted, possibly because this was my first day back to school in a while. Also probably because i read a lot. I finished the lost hero, and i have like 10 different notes in my phone now about it. So maybe i'll turn them into posts, before i completely give in to the mental exhaustion a long day at school provides me. And tomorrow, I start in on reading the Son of Neptune. So i think i'm making decent progress.
#i read a lot today#also felt like i had to pee for a while but held it all day#that probably wasn't great#but now i'm just tired#so i might just lay down and try to relax#even if that means falling back into my sedentary routines again#school#high school#schools#school days#autism#asd#neurodivergent#autistic#adhd#actually autistic#my thoughts#audhd#tired#tiredness#the lost hero#heroes of olympus#hoo#hoo series#pjo hoo toa
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I swear, when the living embodiment of "Sometimes People Who Are Queer Are More Annoying" isn't in class and therefore isn't following me around (because they think we're besties based on the fact that we happen to share identities?? even though they clearly aren't the type of person I enjoy hanging out with?? sigh), uni is soooo much better.
Today I got to:
talk to Jędrzej about his issues with doing two majors at the same time, as well about how much we'd rather be taking a nap; also thesis struggles
chat happily with another person who stayed at uni after finishing her bachelor's (on a sort of 'cousin major' as I call it) about our favourite vegetables, about cooking and about struggles with getting your brain to 'warm up' when reading in a language using a foreign writing system
talk with a junior of mine about struggles with Japanese and about the teachers she might still encounter; about classes that might be worth taking, about studying tips and general fears for the future
walk out of the classroom chatting with the two girls from my major, with whom I'd definitely be friends if that one person wasn't following me around all the time :/
get asked about pronouns by one of them (because she apparently always meant to ask, due to the trans flag on my backpack, but there was never an opportunity; again, I wonder why), properly come out as transmasc to them, and continue the conversation with using the 'masculine' verb forms <3
talk with one of them all the way through the underpass until we had to part ways; mainly about struggles with overthinking and anxiety, about how ridiculous those thoughts can get sometimes
Man, I kinda dreaded going to uni today but actually? It was kind of a banger day?
Still really tired though.
#Time to eat now~#I even survived the class where there was a lot of talking about sex#just because that one trans girl I always lowkey wanted to be friends with#but we never had classes together#she kept throwing about really silly jokes about the whole thing#and it made everything so much easier on my sex-repulsed self#thank you trans women <3#honestly there's so many lovely people attending uni with me#I wish all of my time wasn't monopolised by someone I don't even like#even if I'm talking to someone else the moment they enter the conversation it just sort of fucking dies#because they keep talking so so much and they don't let you get a word in at all#ANYWAYS we're not talking about that rn#we're talking about the lovely time I had today <3#this was such a palate cleanser after those past few days where I felt like I was back in middle school#being told that I 'look disgusted' when I think I'm keeping a neutral expression#and being told to 'sound more natural'#today? today was great! and human interaction was nice!!
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I remember cosplaying as a teen. I used to mostly dress as male characters just because the girl's outfits were usually too short/revealing that I wouldn't feel comfortable in. It was fun wearing suits and men's clothing.
I thought of it again last night even though I gave up cosplaying a WHILE ago because I'm not really into anime any more.
However, in college, I very nearly went out for a student drag show. I had a persona and everything. I backed out at the last second. Not proud of that, but it's what I did.
But the idea just kind of sat with me and has come back to me a few times since then.
There was a joke my friend and I had. He made a fake drag persona to go with mine. I don't think he thought I was serious but I think I might have been.
#I used to cosplay in school too as the male characters and go all out#I didn't care at all- 16/17 year old me did not give a fuck what people thought!#yes I was really doing full drag at my high school in 2010#sometimes I amaze myself at my own blindness#I still think women in suits are hot#I'm also a woman (cis gender or biological woman/ whatever the terms are now for that) but this was something I liked doing#I even dressed as one of my favorite male characters at my own 18th birthday party#without realizing it I think I wanted to be a drag king#and I'm thinking about it now#that was the other hobby I mentioned on an earlier post#I miss the boldness of my younger self tbh and I'm trying to reconnect with her fire and passion#because I'm tired of feeling like a deflated tire lol#I've been mistaken for a dude before too when I was in costume- what a great feeling that was! :)#this has been in the back of my mind for a while and seemed like an appropriate confession for tumblr#I'm still reading stone butch blues and some of it's resonating...I knew I wasn't straight!#take my old cosplay skills (if we can call them that) and become a drag king? My tarot reading earlier today said yes?!?#I need to get new eyeliner ugh because my king is a bit of an emo fuckboi#I don't wear any make-up as woman any more but I will need it to look more like a guy if I do this#I guess this qualifies as a hobby???#mychatter
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The worst thing about my brain being an autopilot grammar nazi is that every single time I see people misuse “it’s” and “its” as well as apostrophe placements is that I don’t want to be rude and correct people... but my brain still is like UGH THIS IS THE WORST.
“It’s” and “Its” are more just my brain going weeo weeo on me when that’s a more understandable one bc “its” is literally the exception to a rule (because “it’s” actually means “it is”, so to avoid it being used for two meanings the apostrophe is removed for ownership cases), but when I see apostrophes before an S for plural wording and I know they speak English properly I’m just like. ugh. damn. bruh. please. go back to school.
Less severe cases of incorrect apostrophe use tends to be like, when people are playing Heroes and have duplicates of units and are like “my Ike’s” instead of “my Ikes”, because I think people are trying to... make it more clear that it’s referring to more than one? I think? Maybe? Or they literally just don’t realize it’s incorrect grammar, idk lol. Still can’t get past my weeo weeo autopilot brain though sadly.
LIKE. IT’S NOT ANYONE’S FAULT THAT MY BRAIN IS WEEO WEEO, IT JUST IS.
Which speaking of Heroes, FE in general seems to have its script in every single game ever coded to always use apostrophes for ownership cases even when the word ends in S, so don’t worry folks. IntSys isn’t getting off scot free from my brain either LOL. No amount of “princess’s” is ever gonna fly with my weeo weeo brain.
this has been a psa
mainly a psa of my brain weeo weeos
#DCB Comments#but the absolute worst offenders are people who overuse apostrophes and like#don't know how to write the plural of a word. today I saw someone write horse's to indicate more than one more horse#and I think the darkest depths of my soul finally cracked at the sight shjfgjhgs#this wasn't someone who speaks in broken English either or anything. they know how to speak the whole language just fine#also the other worst thing about my grammar brain is that I could absolutely get a job teaching English based on my knowledge alone#but I don't have an uwu master's degree uwu so getting teaching jobs even as freelance work is basically impossible#the world decides your worth based on how much you were willing to pay an institution for a certificate#and doesn't base you on your actual worth or knowledge so yeah that's great#can't wait until we're in an anime or video game where society's young decides that's bullshit and we're totally over it and rebel sjkfghju#also you know how you see those posts of ppl being like forget what you learned in school? yeah no don't do that with grammar#to an extent it's one thing (the really stupid ''rules'' like don't start a sentence with x word) and some of it was over the top#but there ARE actually legit reasons for some of those grammar rules; it's just that schools fail to teach them properly#I was extremely lucky to have very amazing English teachers for the most part ngl bc most schools don't teach even basic shit well#at least in my country. even in my school the stuff they taught was shit lol I just got very lucky to have great English teachers#but like for instance run on sentences are usually seen as an issue in writing because people lose their understanding of the sentence#if the sentence goes on too long with too many thoughts you'll probably forget what it was even about in the first place#if it's a WRITING style like a book or a fanfic or whatever it can make sense in some cases you just have to be thoughtful abt it!#but rly like I see people who can't even write basic English grammar who can speak it fluently and I'm like#what the fuck are these schools doing??? bc I can tell you what they're NOT doing e.e#this isn't limited to gen z btw I see ppl around my age who do this stuff with grammar too so... yikes#in fact I see people OLDER than my generation doing it too like... my own mom lmao#I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT IT'S BEEN EATING AWAY MY EXISTENCE FOR MANY YEARS
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Literature teacher, to a group of my classmates: Could you explain to me why [my friend] is interested in America of 1950s and 60s?
Me, listening to this going down, with my interest in America of 1920s:
#random.dusty#life fabric snippets#i've been thinking in my head on how to explain to her why i am personally interested in this period without sounding#like a madman#context: there was an assignment to write 'which historic period i like and why'. i didn't do it bcuz i don't have the literature#material necessary in mind (the writings require at least two arguments from literature and i've just started The Great Gatsby)#and because i'm lazy#anyway. today we had the analysis/grading of those assignments and another group got my friend's work#the friend in question is the mvp in everything btw. hydrogen bomb of the school#she helped out with suggestions on material about 1920s this year! very knowledgable person#the main point of this story is that the teacher wasn't convinced by her argument (friend used The Catcher In The Rye as an#example of why this time period is interesting to her) and now i'm sitting here with Gatsby and gay casino workers like#*chuckles* i'm in danger
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