#school stinks kids rule

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

the real og childhood crush

[timmydraker]

Tim vapes.

To his friends, namely the ones at school and not so much in Young Justice, this ain’t anything surprising. It’s popular for his age group and given how he has various roles in life that cause anxiety and his poorly concealed PTSD from being Red Robin, it makes sense he’d turn to something for comfort.

That comfort just happens to be an addiction to the ‘cancer usb’s his brother Dick once went on a two hour rant about.

Jason once got grounded and forced to watch a PowerPoint video made by Dick and Bruce after he was caught with a cigarette while still Robin. Jason still kept up the bad habits, but he normally turned to a drink or smoke when things were really bad. It was both recreational and a treat that he only had a few times a year, or month in the case of alcohol.

Tim doesn’t take breaks unless he’s on patrol.

It started when he was thirteen and was so tired from starting work with Wayne Enterprise and Robin that he didn’t give his usual response to his friends offer of a hit.

The passion fruit guava flavour settled easily in his chest, most likely due to how he had a lot of self control with his body. He coughed a storm afterwards but quickly found himself coming back for a hit or two during school breaks.

It only took a month for him to buy his first one after some research. He bought the least damaging one for his body even if he knew that lessening such damage didn’t fully remove it.

He started with grape.

Then once that died, he bought sour apple.

Then fairyfloss.

Then strawberry mango.

Then birthday cake, which he genuinely didn’t think could be real but alas.

It took almost four years for anyone in his family to notice and by pure luck it was his actual father who would end up dying a few months later. Tim remembers how guilty he felt when he realised his father would no longer be yelling at him for his ‘fruity fucking stink’ and that such a thing gave him genuine relief. He shouldn’t want his dad to be dead, yet…

It was then Tim realised that maybe he should try slow down his usage, and challenged himself to go a whole hour before a hit, then two and then finally three before he decided that would be enough for a while.

It’s on a particularly bad patrol when he saw a kid get hurt and wasn’t in time to save her from some likely permanent damage that he forwent his rule of vaping in the suit and took several hits while against a wall in his Red Robin attire.

He was just stating to feel the calm fully settle in his bones as his last puff of sour rainbow exited his lunged when he heard a voice just a few feet away.

“How dare you disgrace the name of Robin with that filth!”

Tim jumps up immediately but no training would prepare him for how quickly Damian comes over and snatches the vape from his hand.

Damian is gone quicker than he can get himself together and he only just managed to shout and run after him with his growing panic.

Tim watches his youngest brother vanish from sight and knows he’s doomed.

When he gets back to the cave a few hours later after trying to hide away from his problems, he’s finished his second vape (star fruit grape) from pure stress.

He’s met with the entire family sans Jason giving him the most disappointed and concerned look he’s seen since he confessed he lost his spleen and didn’t tell anyone.

Damian won’t meet his eye but even then Tim can tell from years of studying his younger that even Damian feels a little guilty for outing him, but as Dick looks close to tears with how upset he is the others resolve clearly strengthens.

Tim doesn’t blame him, even if he’s mentally going over all the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.

[violetdaphne]

percabeth tv show-verse headcanons because middle school me is frothing at the mouth at her fav book series being adapted

when it comes time for offerings, percy does not move. he doesn't move a goddamn muscle, staying put at the poseidon table because, sure, his dad helped him during the quest but that doesn't mean he can forget so easily the shadow that came over luke's face when the older demigod explained how the gods expect their children to burn their own food just for a sliver of attention so percy chooses to just. not move. he sits and eats and ignores the curious glances he gets from other campers when its their turn. so no, he doesn't offer anything to his dad or any other god, even when Mr. D gives him the stink eye but what he does do is spot the glaring mission portion on annabeth's plate from her scraping off her own offering (she sits with him now, at the poseidon table breaking many rules about sitting with your own cabin because she can't stand seeing percy all alone, and, well, he's actually kind of fun to hang around for a seaweed brain), he sees the gaps on her plate and instead of offering anything to his dad he offers his own food to her, insisting when she protests and scoping a portion of his own meal onto her plate the moment he has an opening because he doesn't want her going hungry, not because of athena. it feels a little bit like blasphemy but also achingly devotional so he hides his grin behind a proud smirk and says no take-backies while she just raises her brows amusedly.

percy has developed a scary, uncanny habit that freaks out grover and other campers of being able to tell exactly where annabeth is even when she's wearing the invisibility cap. whether it be during capture the flag, sword training, climbing the lava wall, or just meandering about camp to avoid clarisse, percy just has a sort of annabeth-sense and can point with near complete accuracy where she stands when completely invisible to the naked eye. it becomes a camp favorite spectacle to watch them during games and training, fighting back to back, or against each other, and just how swiftly they move, even when percy can't see his partner. he's not sure how or why he is able to know where she is, but secretly loves how he is the only one able to pick her out in a crowd. percy jokes he has his very own spidey-sense geared toward annabeth but she stares at him blankly, the reference going over her head and he just mentally adds it to the very long list of movies he needs to show her. (he does end up, eventually, showing her spiderman but ends up shutting it off quickly when the sight of the spider biting peter parker send her spiraling)

sometimes, when her cabin is just too loud and her bunkmates are too rambunctious and the noise pulses in her ears and she just wants some peace and fucking quiet for once annabeth will slip her cap on and sneak away from her siblings and most often ends up outside the poseidon cabin, asking percy shyly if he minds if she hides out here for a bit because everywhere else is too loud and too much. she doesn't even get to finish her sentence before percy ushers her in and says she's welcome in his cabin anytime. it suprises her, an athena kid, how much she ends up liking the tranquility and ocean-air scent of the poseidon cabin. there's only a few bunks compared to the many that line the walls of her own cabin, so percy lets her chose one (she chooses the one closest to his own and decidedly doesn't think about what it means) and she finally gets some quiet time for her to read or work on blueprints or whatever else she wants to do. sometimes percy is there, sitting idly with his own craft or book to keep him occupied, and annabeth finds she quite likes these times where she and him can just sit together in a contented peace. it becomes common knowledge at camp that when one can't find annabeth the best place to look is the poseidon cabin, and when that doesn't work just find percy because the two are quickly becoming attached at the hip, much to grover's delighted annoyance.

speaking of grover, he gets first row seats to the developing friendship between the two and he knows, knows that this is it. this right in front of him, the bickering and arguing that can flip to deep understanding and compassion at the flick of a hat is fucking endgame, or the closest to it at just 12 years old. he watches how they work together during capture the flag, so scarily in tune that they are able to more than once outsmart clarisse and the other team. he watches percy practice controlling his powers and water abilities at the shoreline of camp, annabeth just feet away and watching in a poorly hidden awe as he moves the tide and waves with a flick of his wrist. he watches them sneak around after curfew because annabeth wanted to show percy the constellations and the best time to see them is in the dead of night so they brave the harpies and Mr. D's wrath to lay out on the pier of camp to see the stars. he watches them on the quest when annabeth insists he is alive after the arch, watches them hug like he isn't standing right there and the relief is palpable, and he just. knows. its so obvious and he loves to claim, years later, that he knew first.

the ocean and water and all its inhabitants are all extensions of percy, right? they're all in poseidon's, and therefore percy's domain so its only natural for them follow in his lead when he's around. therefore, its only natural for the water and it's grace to treat annabeth with the same respect it treats their demigod. percy makes sure of it, if inadvertently, chiding the tide to be careful and warning the waves to not chill her. and the kicker? he doesn't even realize he's doing it until annabeth mentions offhand that the water during her canoe lesson at camp was particularly and oddly calm when everyone else's was rough and choppy. he blushes so bad she offers to take him to the infirmary, which evidently only makes him flush harder.

poseidon realizes it too, of course, the ocean is primarily his domain and he knows well what's going on in every inch of it, so he senses immediately how percy is growing into his powers, exercising his control over the sea and growing more powerful day by day, and how it all seems to center around a certain athena kid. he rubs it in athena's face, the growing friendship between their kids, but find himself getting really quiet when she sends her owl after his eyes.

luke calls them an old married couple and they hate how right he is, and how they keep accidently proving him right. they argue over the littlest of things; the best type of jam to put on toast at breakfast, the pronunciation of greek words and monsters, the best way for percy to take care of his curls, anything and everything they will find something to bicker over until grover or whoever is with them just stares until the argument peters out and they move on to the next subject without missing a beat, leaving whoever their unfortunate third wheel is feeling very adrift.

[mightyflamethrower]

All your life you played by the rules. You paid attention during school and went on to get a degree. You held on to the same stinking job for twenty years preferring dignity over a lifelong reliance on the forced generosity of others. Your wife worked. Your kids worked. You paid thousands of dollars in taxes on your property and income.

So how does the government treat you now when you really need it? They take the people who partied while you worked hard and took care of your family and they put those folks at the head of the line for emergency aid.

The democrat party hates normal working class Americans. They hate NORMAL people while they adore freakish men who wave dildos and prance around in women's underwear. It's time to push back.

Make this stop. Vote for TRUMP in the next election.

[powderblueblood]

everything looks better on me (especially you)

eddie's missing something and lacy gets a new accessory. (825) cw: fluff the house down, thank GOD these two get to be CUTE for once in their stinking lives. happy valentines day palentines part of the hellfire & ice universe

that looks familiar.

the note bounces over your shoulder, landing in a crumpled little ball for you to unravel on your desk. first period. monday. history with kaminsky, enforcing tyrannical rule by reading about the ottoman empire at an excruciating pace. the morning is passing at it's usual torturous tick, only helped by the warm reassurance of eddie, sat in place behind you.

you make sure to shake your stupid hair all over his desk as you pass back your reply.

oh, this old thing? you like it?

eddie holds his breath as he watches you slide the slip of paper by your ear for him to snatch, fixated on the flow of your neck to your shoulder. said flow, which he so frequently admires, is now obscured. a wrap of fabric around your neck that he knows well. real well. super well. part of the uniform well.

you'd thought it'd be a cute look--a coquettish little necktie element to set off your otherwise rote skirt-and-satin blouse set. a nod to sexy librarians, contrarians, know-it-alls with edge-- oh, okay, fine. who are you fucking kidding. you wore it around your neck because you knew it'd make eddie's dick twitch from a thousand yard reach.

you knew it'd make him go all doe eyed and grin stupid and maybe even make him do that thing where he hides behind his hair. you love that. it makes your heart flip like a speed freak olympian. makes you want to shove him to the ground and make out with him until he suffocates.

you knew it'd be a statement, too. i'm intentional about every single thing i've ever put on my body. i want you. i want this.

you reach up and wind the end of eddie's bandana around your little finger.

you think you hear his breath hitch. (you totally do.)

you look really pretty.

eddie catches you off guard, y'know. with his earnestness. with how hard he means things.

really pretty.

he'd left his bandana on your bedroom floor the night he stole away out your window. remember? "i'm coming back for you, lacy doevski?" all that? well, you'd found it after getting third-degree cross examined by your father and lay awake with it held close to your face. it'd gotten caught on a pin or something and tore, so you darned it back together with your limited sewing skills. you didn't want to give it back right away--it's such a part of the eddie munson ensemble that it made you feel like you had a real piece of him with you, 'til you could see him again. which was only 48 goddamned hours, but let's slice off a little slack here.

and so came this morning. and you wound it under your collar, tying a windsor knot.

you feel him lean in a little closer to tuck the note next to your shoulder.

really REALLY PRETTY.

pretty enough to meet me in the bathroom? you write, tossing it back to him with a stretch. you don't wait for an answer as the bell trills.

moments later, eddie has you pinned against the wall of that bombed out boy's bathroom (say thank you lack of school funding!), pressing his lush, pink lips to the line of your jaw.

he makes your whole body feel as tingly as tv static.

eddie's forehead finds yours and you don't have anything in you but to sigh and smile, just a breath away from his mouth.

"hello," you say, watching the sparkle in his dark eyes.

"hi," eddie mumbles, grinning away. he brushes a knuckle down the side of your face. "pretty. pretty. you're so pretty, lace."

god, even the way he says it knocks you clean out. pritty. like there's some tennessee twang still left in the highest reaches of his voice.

your lashes flutter. you're lightheaded and girlish and you can't for the life of you stop smiling.

eddie's smile breaks into a little laugh, breath brushing against your nose.

"what's so funny?"

"you like something i wear," he croons, fingers brushing the knot of the bandana, settled beneath your collarbone. "you like me."

"so what if i do?"

"you like me. i melted you."

"i wouldn't call this melting," you chuckle softly, but your eyelids drop and chin tilts back as eddie brings his mouth to your neck. "this is defrosting at best."

"you tryin' to say you want it... wetter?"

"shut up, eddie."

"i could get you so soaked with this wit alone..."

a delicate snort. "ladies and gentlemen, the friars club presents..."

"mm, you lost me."

"i'll tell ya later."

his hands travel all over your body, groping you with a sweetness driven by desire. eddie is all want when it comes to you; wants to touch you, talk to you, listen to you, lay with you. bug the shit out of you.

and you want him too, is the thing. it's reciprocal. you're wearing it right around your neck.

you could both die happy before fourth period.

[ghoastixx]

Horror characters w/ a child in the school musical

Notes: In honor of my school's drama club being shut down and me having to go to my neighboring school. (You can tell I have favorites ;))

Includes: Otis Driftwood, Baby Firefly, Mama Firefly, Choptop Sawyer, Billy and Stu, Carrie White, Hannibal Lecter (and Will Graham), Beetlejuice, Micheal Myers (A bit RZ), The Lost Boys,

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Otis Driftwood

The fact that you even have to go to school is a problem to him. With his whole "I hate rules" get up, did you really think he'd want you going to some crummy government public school? He literally hates everything about it..

But... it would be suspicious if you didn't go to school, considering some people in the neighboring town knew there was a kid in the house..

When you bring up wanting to be in your school's musical?

He's all for it, wether you're a little kid or a teenager, surprisingly.

I think he'd be into the idea since he himself is very artsy, he sees it as his kiddo trying to express themselves, and he's all for it.

Especially if you are also in charge of the set (My school's was five people so I always did set), he's so excited to see what you come up with, even if it boringly lacks and pain and suffering.

He won't clean up to come watch it, he will genuinely show up with his matty white hair under his oddly stained cowboy hat, his 'burn this flag' tank top, dirty boots.. he gets odd looks, no one sits next to him or the family, murmuring that they stink.

he's so proud.

"______, do you know who that guy in the front row who keeps grimacing is in the cowboy hat? He's scaring off our audience,"

"That's my dad :)"

Baby Firefly

Oh, she is EXCITED

As a performer herself, coughcoughthefloorshowcoughcough,

If this is a highschool show, she gets into alllll the drama. All the petty fights, tantrums, affairs going on, all the juicy shit that happens during musical season. Perfect person to bitch with about it.

She will come to every single one of the shows, she tells people to come constantly.

She'd have you practice in front of victims as an "audience,"

She is so thrilled, this is the funnest thing ever to her.

Gushes over the costumes

If you don't get a lead you really wanted, she is just as petty as you are about it.

Opening night, she'll give you a boquet of flowers she totally didn't steal before hand.

The best drama mama!

"She's such a bitch, who's she think she is, huh? You deserved that role much more than them, god what a whore."

"Tell me about it,"

Mama Firefly

Aw, she thinks its so dear.

It's been a long time since she had a little one in the home, she's excited to do things that actually make her feel like a mom again.

Supports you in any way you need, practice running late? She's packed you a sandwich and an extra water. Need help going over a scene? Well, she'll try her damn best!

I feel she'd be the type of mom to help make her kids costume if it fell on the kids shoulder

She is so excited to see it when it comes time, she drags R.J, Otis, and Baby (sorry Tiny) out of the home to go see it

She dresses up all nice and fights her way to the front row

She cheers loudly for you.

"Do we have to be here?" Otis grumbled, "Yes, this is your little sibling, now hush it's startin'"

Chop-Top Sawyer

Oh god it's a mess,

it's not that he's not excited, he's very excited his spitfire is into music just like him

but that's the problem, he's too excited.

It's not like he can just... come and watch-

He's not exactly normal, y'know.

Now this could go two different ways,

1. He doesn't go watch, but makes Drayton go and record it so he can watch it himself (if he cares enough by then)

2. He goes and causes a scene and you both just blame it on his Vietnam PTSD which gets you both a lot of sympathy points.

If he does get to go, he freaks a lot of people out. He wears his wig, assuming they replaced his Sonny Bono wig, but is constantly digging at his plate with his tongue just..sticking out. Plus he talks funny and stinks and- god people are trying to figure out who this loud creeper is and why he's here..

Then they see him at the end of the show...standing with you. Gossip spreads quickly..

Some who refuse to believe it, mistake Drayton as your father at the end of the show.

"Hello, I'm assuming your ______'s father? I wanted to tell you just how talented-" "Oh! Hey Mister Johnson, I see you've met my uncle Drayton," "Uncle?" "Yeah, this is my dad," "Oh...Uhm..." "Hi *heavy breathing*" "Forgive him, he's still adjusting from 'Nam."

Billy and Stu

They are both so incredibly normal about your interests

So I'm like conflicted cause one part of me wants to believe that they don't really care all that much but the other part of me that recognizes them as huge nerds is wielding a sword.

Shut up, Stu had a musical phase in middle school, FIGHT ME.

Stu is definitely more excited than Billy is

and it's not that Billy's not excited, Stu just shows it more than Billy.

100% flexible with your schedule, they take turns dropping you off and picking you up if you can't drive.

Stu uses it as an excuse to get out of stuff.

"Sorry, can't, gotta take chick-pea to practice tonight, yeah sooo sorry."

Billy is the type to get volunteered by you if big pieces of the set need done and no one else will do it.

He'll grumble, but it will be done.

Stu donates a lot of money towards the program, half in attempts to get the director to favorite you and give you parts you want.

Stu and Billy come to every show, all of them, without fail.

This is important to you, and you're important to them, so this is important to them.

Stu is so hype on opening night, giving you a pep-talk all day before you go to get ready.

They are so proud of you when the show is over, and will both help you out of that after show slumps.

"C'mon baby, what was the name of the lead your the understudy for?" "Kelly?" "No, Chick-pea, the name of the actor..." "Guys- no."

Carrie White

stop she's so proud of you,

even if you don't end up with a big part, she's so proud that you have the confidence to do something she would have never dared to of done when she was young.

She might even be involved? I could see her making costumes- I mean, she made her prom dress and that shit was stunning.

I think she'd be more partial to you doing activities such as music or band or some form of art over sports.

The arts are just a lot less dangerous than sports, she just wants you to be safe. But she also wants you to be happy.

She will come to every single show,

She'd be the mom to help you go over lines if you needed to as well, or offer to try and help practice a dance you needed to learn.

She definitely cries watching you up on stage,

will get you the prettiest flowers and tell all your co-stars that they did such a good job.

"Mama, can you help me with this scene? I just need you to read for Yente," "Of course honey, where do you want me to start?:)"

Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham,

First off, you go to a private school. No kin of Lecter's is going to be caught dead in a public school.

He is rather thrilled when you mention performing for the school, he does love the arts after all.

Whatever you want and or need, singing lessons, dancing lessons, acting classes, whatever you want.

He will dress up for the occasion, he brings Will as well who is way under dressed, but it's always nice to see him.

I don't think Hannibal would come to every show, sometimes his appointments run late, he has a lot to do, but he will come if you have a parents night and he will come see the opening show.

If anything, Will might try and make all of them if you two are close, he knows what it's like not to have a parent show up to something so important.

Hannibal would make food for a cast party if you had one after.

No there are no people in it.

Hannibal has DVD's of all of the shows you have ever done and whips them out ALL THE TIME... The first time Will even heard of you-

"Hannibal, what are all these DVD's? Why are they labeled '_____'?" "Hm? Oh. _______ is my child, those are their performance videos." "you have a kid-" "They do musical theater, sit down, we shall watch the films." "you have...a kid-"

Beetlejuice

He's actually so upset that he can't come watch your show physically.

It's okay- there's a recorded version for him. He'll feel less bad.

He LOVES performing so this is actually perfect, but of course it is! You're his little ghoul.

He actually already knows the whole show so he is very good at helping you practice.

"Aw- toots- you're almost as good as me. Almost."

Micheal Myers (Slight RZ)

Like most things, he's indifferent.

Good luck getting him to come see even one of your shows.

He shows interest in your little hobby when you talk about it, sit next to him and talk about the show as he makes his masks. He listens.

Now.. If he does come see a show? He will only see one, most likely the last one as they are less packed (less likely anyone will recognize him,)

He'll wear a medical mask, his hair mostly covering the rest of his face, he sits in the very back.

He's slightly warmed at just how much the act meant to you.

Your director will approach you after seeing you hug the very tall man with the long hair and covered face, as he just pat you haphazardly on the head before leaving.

"______, someone you know?" "uh huh, that's my dad." "Your dad.. huh.. he seems very quiet." "Yeah, he don't say very much. I didn't think he was gonna come." "Well, I'm glad he did." "yeah, me too."

The Lost Boys

obviously, if you're going to school, you're a human still.

The only way they could come see your show would be if it was late in the evening, and they would probably show up late.

They're very happy for you and want to support you! It's just difficult with them being vampires.

Paul and Marko definitely get a kick out of acting out scenes from your script with you.

Dwayne is interested in the storyline, he also enjoys watching you act. You're in your element, it's like you're a different person.

David, on the other hand, is just amused that you're into all this stuff. It's not that he thinks its dumb or anything, he thinks you do a great job, it's just not really his scene, y'know.

But, you're their baby bat, they'd literally do anything for you, so as you're up on stage during the third song and see a blur of leather jackets and mullets sitting in the back, you can't help but smile.

"God- why are the guys from the board walk here." "They're my family :)" 'HUH-"

[saltygilmores]

Fr Lorelai's parenting was so questionable sometimes and not just because of the advice but in general:

1) she let her teenage daughter consume so much caffeine and was even proud of it

2) she let her drive underage and get into an accident (the deer)

3) when Rory came late to the exam and wasn't allowed to take it, Lorelai made a scene and demanded that her daughter be the exemption to the rules because she is so smart and special

4) went on to date Rory's English teacher like that won't leave a mark on the kid

5) pretends to be such a "cool mom" that's not afraid to talk about sex with her daughter except she isn't. The only time birth control is brought up it's a punishment for staying out late with her boyfriend. Which she proceeds to treat her coldly and distantly over for the next week, as if she had never pulled anything like this when she was Rory's age. Like if you're genuinely that worried that she will have sex just ask her?? Take her to the gynecologist? Once she does tell her she may be ready to have sex, Lorelai hangs her head in sadness and acts like she's at a funeral.

6) as you keep pointing out, she is waaay too involved in Rory's relationships and drama and makes it very clear which boyfriend she prefers. Pushes Rory to stay with her boyfriend when she is already unhappy with her relationship, because Lorelai knows that their relationship is so tame she doesn't have to worry about her getting pregnant. She would rather Rory be in a sexless unhappy relationship than a happy one that potentially involves sex.

7) lets Rory drive a car that her 16-year-old boyfriend with no qualifications built from scratch.

8) get ridiculously overprotective (I broke my arm at 4 and no one slept in the room with me to my knowledge) when her friend crashes the car and says she wants to kill him, while not even reprimanding Rory for letting someone else drive her car.

9) throws a fit when Rory applies to other schools than "her dream school" which has an acceptance rate of like 4%

10) pretends like she's such a best friends first mom but she's not. I mean she is but as long as Rory is doing everything she wants and agrees with all her opinions 100%. But any time Rory does something Lorelai doesn't like, she gets silent treatment- when Rory stays out late with Dean and Lorelai doesn't talk to her properly till the episode after, when she does sleep with Dean (🤢) Lorelai ships her off to Europe with her grandma as if Rory was a troubled 16-year-old not an adult and doesn't talk to her all summer or after she decided to take a semester off at Yale. Both were such Emily things to do and the Yale thing is especially vile because she says to Luke that she will only tell Rory about their engagement once Rory "fixes things" aka does what Lorelai wants her to do. It's so clear she was punishing her with silence.

I am ranting to you because you said that you love to discuss how terrible Lorelai is but if it's too much I apologize.

First off pleeeaseee never apologize for sending me asks or DMS even if they are 25 pages long! And "Reasons Why Lorelai Gilmore Is The Worst" is my favorite game. I wanna play! Here's another one of my biggest grievances! Lorelai does not respect Rory's self agency (is that the right term?) Example: Rory trying to impart on Lorelai that she doesnt blame Jess for crashing the car and that the injury was minor and not bothersome to her and that Lorelai is making way too big a stink over it. Lorelai fights her at every turn like Rory is a small child who can' possibly know what she's talking about and doesn't respect her opinions on anything if what Rory feels doesn't align with Lorelai. I believe Lorelai even tried to one up the doctor who tells them (lorelai and rory) in the hospital that the injury is pretty minor and Lorelai is like no, it must be worse than it is because Jess was driving and he was trying to murder my child! (she ALSO states "the accident would never have happened if Dean was behind the wheel", why, just because she thinks Dean is dreamy he's also not a 17 year old inexperienced driver who may not even have a full license yet and is prone to accidents? (she also gleefully and wistfully recalled how when she was first dating Christopher he drove recklessly on purpose and crashed his car with them in it). Countless other times Rory has tried to impart on Lorelai how she feels about something or someone and Lorelai just fucking steamrolls her. Rory wastes too much oxygen trying to convince Lorelai that Jess is a good person and she should give him a chance. But Lorelai has decide she doesn't like him so Rory must be wrong and not know what she's talking about. You know, I don't blame Rory for being such a damn doormat sometimes, I mean, standing up for herself to Lorelai never gets her anywhere so why bother? To number 9, The episode I just finished is a prime example! Lorelai had a literal meltdown in PUBLIC screaming at her parents, because Rory had the audacity to accept an invitation from her grandparents to merely tour a school and in her half baked mind this was some kind of conspiracy cooked up btwn the three of them to spit in Lorelai's face? Rory isn't allowed to go to any college but the one Lorelai picked out for her? Rory was so frightened of Lorelai's reaction to her visiting Yale that she and Richard and had to go behind Lorelai's back to plan the trip and Rory was practically bracing for impact when she had to tell Lorelai. And then is angry like "why did you go behind my back to arrange this?" Jesus Christ. Even Mrs Kim laid out options for Lane when it was time for college. To number 5: Lorelai said "I got the good kid" when she overheard Rory tell Paris she was still a virgin and then treated her to a trip to the mall. This is fun.

[fostercare-expat]

Sad news about the Stateless Baby. She is a former foster baby of Other Foster Mom and I looked after her once for a few hours. She was born to unmarried parents from a country that does not recognise babies born abroad out of wedlock so there’s no way to get citizenship for the baby other than a local adoption. In addition Mom is fairly unstable and has other kids that are being raise by a relative, so she’s not a great mom to begin with. A few months ago I was at a foster care event and I met a local family who was in the process of adopting Stateless Baby. They had committed to having Mom and the maybe Dad in her life. But today I just heard that Mom has taken back Stateless Baby for the last 3 weeks because she felt the potential adoptive family was trying to steal her away. The adoption paperwork here takes 6 months and the Stateless situation has made it even longer so there is no legal leg to stand on to get her back. Apparently Mom has been bringing the baby to work, which is clearly a “house of ill-repute” since she has no child care. The maybe Dad also works there too, so you can guess what his role is likely and you can guess why no one trusts he is the biological father. This is all a giant mess caused by the home country of Mom and maybe Dad, which isn’t the country we all live in here. From all the research that Other Foster Mom has done and from what the local and foreign embassies say, the citizenship issue can’t be resolved and there are tons of people who have just grown up without citizenship because if this ridiculous rule. Most just manage to find other ways to get citizenship by being adopted to a relative or married to someone when they are older. But most of those families are more savvy. This mom isn’t. She prefers to fly under the radar, i.e. she choose a home birth without anyone there as she was trying to have the baby without the authorities knowing. I feel for her because in theory she wants the baby but in reality she’s very stand-off ish and isn’t able to communicate well with all the authorities who are trying to help her. She can’t get Stateless Baby out of this country to her home country because the borders are super strict here, so she can’t even raise the baby informally by a relative over there. But she can’t ever send the kid to local school because only citizens and green card holders are allowed in local school and she doesn’t have $30,000 a year to send her kid to international school. It’s such a mess. The system sucks. But this baby needs some sort of plan. And it sounded like a really good plan of an adoptive family who can care of this darling baby girl safely without lots of scary men around 24/7 (because we are looking at a terrifying vulnerability for abuse with the current “bring your daughter to work” situation) and Mom and maybe Dad could still be part of her life. I guess eventually even if the baby isn’t taken away for abuse or neglect in her younger years, then girl would be taken by CPS for not attending school after age 7 as school is a strict requirement here and she will just end up in CPS care anyways. And she will be heavy damaged by then. Apparently there are other cases like hers here in CPS care too. What a nightmare. The poor kiddo suffers most.

The foreign system stinks because it’s perhaps needlessly separating a Mom and her child. (Although from what I’ve seen, this Mom might not be able to successfully parent even without these citizenship issues) and it’s punishing the child for being born to unwed parents, which isn’t her fault. They aren’t taking away the citizenship of the parents, they are doing it to the child. So wrong. And the local system has a very harsh approach to undocumented people so it won’t educate the child, but eventually would allow her to go to school only after removing her from her mother’s care. Also crazy. Just a mess. And none of these systems show signs of changing anytime soon. So we can complain they aren’t fair, but this baby is already 1 years old and isn’t going to stop growing so we need to find a way to give her a chance at a normal life.

[eroticcannibal]

My primary banned us applying sunscreen too. Think it was along the same thinking as kids needing to hand their meds over to the nurse and let them apply it? (Which, unless it's something where a kid can't reasonably be taught to administer themselves, also seems like a bad idea)

But of course one nurse can't apply sunscreen to hundreds of kids multiple times a day so we just. Didn't get it. Well, not until enough parents made a stink about it. But it was banned for a couple years.

Some of my teachers would turn a blind eye bc obviously this rule was ridiculous and putting everyone needlessly at risk, but others were real asses about it.

Bizarre to call bs on that. I remember bitching about it with the other kids at Brownies and they said similar things about their own schools. It seemed common, at least in my area?

Its really not that uncommon. I know the long wear stuff doesn't really work like that but I'd always use that for the child in school because they could not be trusted. Usually its more "we just don't have the time" rather than an outright ban but it is normal. Unfortunately.

[loominggaia]

¿Cómo fue la noche de bodas de los padres de los fgg? (O la primera vez (sexo) de los padres de los fgg con su respectiva pareja)

P.d:ya que el padre es un misterio, skel no cuenta

(Translated via Google Translate)

"How was the fgg parents' wedding night? (Or the first time (sex) of the parents of the fgg with their respective partner) P.s: since the father is a mystery, skel does not count"

--

That's kind of funny to think about! I think each answer could say a lot about their respective cultures, and even more about who they are as people.

There's nothing especially graphic ahead, but I'll put the following text below a cut just in case.

Foster and Sofia probably waited until their wedding night to do anything sexual because they're both Lindists. According to Lindist scripture, it's immoral to have sex before marriage because it "invites bad spirits" and "spoils the body". (In reality, the House of Humanity imposed this rule because Evangelite medical technology sucks, this kingdom is not well-equipped to deal with disease, and monogamous, committed intercourse is less likely to spread diseases.)

Since neither of them had prior experience, I'm sure it was awkward and unpleasant, especially for Sofia. Pleasure is not prioritized for Evangelite women because in their culture, women are seen as beasts of burden, baby-factories, and servants to men. Evangelite women are not supposed to enjoy sex because it's seen as improper, not ladylike behavior. So, sex with Foster was probably pretty awful and I doubt it got much better with time.

Moswen and Ekwame: Moswen was forced to marry Ekwame when she was 16, and she gave birth to her sons at 17. I think we can safely assume that she conceived those children on her wedding night, which is really upsetting considering Ekwame was 40 years older than her. As cruel and hateable as she is, I can't help but feel sympathy for her here, because this had to be a traumatic experience for her no matter how you slice it. She should have been in school with her peers, but instead she was getting railed by some nasty old man and forced into motherhood when she was still a kid herself. I don't want to dwell on this one, I'm sure you can imagine how scary this was for teenage Moswen. And knowing what a selfish, apathetic ass Ekwame was, I'm sure he didn't really care how she felt about anything. Both of them just went through the motions like they were told to, to fulfill political obligations.

Oggsa and Vingevar: We don't know much about Vingevar, so it's tough to say what happened here. But we do know what a tough, domineering personality Oggsa is, so you can bet one thing...she was always on top.

Rene and Sebastian: They were at it long before they got married, and I doubt they even remember their first time because they were both completely wasted. Despite their dysfunction, I think these two did genuinely love eachother, and it must have been a sweet moment for them both. Perhaps they were getting it on in a dirty public bathroom or next to a stinking swamp...but the love was still there!

Ojio and Tarajeen: Sex before marriage is taboo in Damijana, and considering all the agents spying on them, these two wouldn't have risked it. I think both of them were virgins before they married, and their first several times was the most awkward sex ever. Sex education is bad in Damijana--and I mean baaaaad! They don't teach their people anything useful about intercourse because the censorship laws are so over-the-top. Porn and nudity is outright banned, even if it's tasteful. This leaves grown-ass adult citizens very confused about sex and how it actually works. They just clumsily fumble their way through it until offspring happens (and oftentimes, doesn't happen! Damijani fertility rates are low for a reason...People literally forgot how to reproduce here...)

Ojio and Tarajeen knew they were supposed to undress and climb into bed together. After that...??? Something about tab A into slot B??? But they don't realize Ojio is supposed to be erect when it happens, nor do they realize they're supposed to gyrate around until climax. So they just kinda put it in for a while, take it out and then go to sleep. Several confounding trips to the clinic later, they finally discover why they haven't concieved a child...the sex got a lot better after that, but boy did they feel silly. And then Jeimos was born, and they never had time for sex again. :') Ah, parenthood under capitalism.

Darshaan and Karenza: I think they hooked up well before marriage, probably during their journey across the desert as they fled from Alqamah. I can imagine them taking cover in a cave after dark and getting extra cozy in the tiny space. It's a loving encounter and they are sweet and gentle with eachother...then right before climax, Darshaan notices a scorpion on the wall right in front of his face. He screams like a little girl, wraps his arms around Karenza and rolls them out of the cave like a sweaty, naked tumbleweed. They both get sand lodged in unfortunate places. Karenza never lets him forget that moment as for long as they were together.

Riona and Nemeto: Supposedly Nemeto sailed to Umory-Ond in search of old ships to repair and sell, where he met Riona and fell in love with her. Riona chose to sail away with him back to Matuzu Kingdom. I like to think she jumped his bones right there on the boat!

I'll skip Balthazaar and Skel's parents because we just don't have enough information about them. Same for Adel and Zeffer's mother. I'll skip Olandrah too, because her first time was unfortunately very disturbing and not fun to read about. No point in talking about the Tekeetian King and Queen either, because they were cecaelia and had no concept of sex.

I think Eindrid and Jorun waited until marriage as is customary for their culture. But as we learned in "The Stash", the people of Loreham have an unusual practice where the bride and groom get it on for the first time in front of the whole tribe! They do this because centaurs are big, cumbersome creatures who can actually injure eachother pretty bad during sex if they're not careful. Having the tribe there to cheer and backseat them during their first time is probably annoying as hell, but it prevents tragedies and gives the couple confidence. It also ensures that a child is conceived properly, provides witnesses to the consummation, and guarantees the celebration ends with a bang...pun intended.

Anyway, Jorun is Elska's mother, so you know she ended up mangling someone or something by the end of it. I'm just saying, Eindrid always had a little extra bend in his ween from that day forward...

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[drchenquill]

OC in 15~

Thank you for the tag @the-letterbox-archives and @leitereads!

Rules: share 15 or less lines of dialogue from a character to showcase their personality!

This time i'll go with *drum rolls* Kiki! From "Him and Me - Bound By Fate". Enjoy~

"Are you Mr. Martens? Nice to meet you, I'm Kiki. I'll drive you everywhere. Well, not everywhere, just to school. You're an art teacher, aren't you? Maggie told me about you! This is your first time here, right? We'll have to explain a lot of things to you, because this little town is more complicated than it looks. Oops, I've probably said too much now. Get in, otherwise I'm going without you!"

"Don't piss your pants, Leon. They're just little kids."

"Not even an hour has passed and you're already calling me. Do you miss me that much?"

"Oh my God, I'm so glad you changed your mind after all, Leon. You don't know how relieved I am. I'm sure it will be complicated at first, but me and Maggie will be there to help you. You'll be in good hands."

"With all due love, Leon, but you stink."

"Actually, technically speaking, he could also not be a murderer."

"It would be better if you cooperated, Leon. Otherwise you'll be condemned to live the rest of your life like this."

"You don't have to worry about that, dear Leon. Nothing will change. You will teach as usual and spend the day as you like, with the small catch of babysitting a grown man."

"I'm starting to get the feeling you want it to be him."

" How sweet of you to leave us alone with your Fera! He's tearing the house apart right now."

"Leon, you ass. You just dumped us."

~~~

Tagging @ghost-type-writer , @paeliae-occasionally , @theink-stainedfolk , @sableglass and open tag~

[cheapcheapfaker]

Thank god the majority of this site does not want children because from this post alone your knowledge of early childhood education is fucking abysmal. It stinks of the same kids in high school art who went uugggh i don’t WANT to draw the FRUIT AGAIN and now they’re still drawing the same 3/4 face how to draw manga style because the only way to be able to successfully break rules is to learn them, for one. And two, proper coloring like this is actually like. Incredibly important for children to learn how to do for hand-eye coordination, to make sure they’re developing normally (if a child continuously uses the ‘wrong’ colors they are probably not a future Picasso their ass may be COLOR BLIND you dumbasses) like. Good god. They can draw and color whatever way they’d like at home. But at school?? At school??? The institution for learning??? Why are all of you so stupid. I wish you paid attention in classes instead of drawing an eye.

[palettepainter]

Weirdos in love

I’ve got Lew Zealand x Crazy Harry brainrot so have some small headcannons while I’m cutting stencils at work:

-Harry sleeps unnaturally still…to the point sometimes people panic and assume he might be dead. It doesn’t help that Harry naturally has a very pale completion which often has people mistaking him for being unwell when they first meet him. Harry is also not apposed to collapsing asleep at a desk or table. When Lew catches Harry asleep and unmoving he’ll place a written note by his head saying “Not dead, sleeping”

-Lew Zealand is trans I don’t make the rules guys 

-Harry loves taking apart random appliances to tinker with them and see how they work. More then once Lew has returned him to find Harry taking apart the toaster 

-They live in a small house together near a lake where Lew likes to go fishing. The house has an old basement Harry hides in to do all his explosive related work, while Lew practises his boomerang skills in the garden 

-Lew likes to go fishing, it’s a hobby he picked up in his teens but his family have always had a knack for fishing. He’s always been a more catch and release type of person though, he’s fine with eating fish based dishes but he doesn’t have the guts to kill a fish himself 

-Lew loves swimming and he used to compete in competitions at his school. He is very aerodynamic in the water and basically considers it a second home with how comfortable he is in the water. Harry on the other hand cannot swim to save his life, he never learnt, ontop of hating how cold water feels on his skin and the feeling of weightless ness Harry avoids large bodies of water at all times 

-Harry and Lew aren’t as smart as Bunsen and Beaker, but they’re not as oblivious as most people think. Lew has always loved and been passionate about sea life, he has a fondness for tropical fish and other species that often look peculiar or silly, like puffer fish.

Harry is also smart. He was the smartest kid in his science class and left with high grades…But he also knows a lot of bizarre weird facts no normal person would think about: like how to make a pipe bomb out of an air fryer, or how quickly acid can burn through metal, or how to pick locks without leaving evidence, how to hot wire a car, how to escape a country in a day (I’m not saying Harry has a past of criminal offences and may have gotten in trouble with police and has a past wrapped in mystery but I am saying it’s a possibility) 

-Harry loves knitted cardigans and sweaters, though he leans more towards cardigans. Maybe he could have grown up somewhere cold and far away from any big city? Hence why he can sometimes be a bit out of the loop with social ques and norms. All of his cardigans are well kept, but they all stink of smoke 

-Lew can’t cook to save his life and Harry only knows how to use a microwave and air fryer, so they often don’t eat the most healthy foods. Mac and Cheese is Harry’s favourite while Lew isn’t fussy and tends to eat whatever Harry does. Chef - as a culinary master - is personally offended at their poor diets and on more then one occasion has cooked meals for them (Lew and Harry are very enthusiastic about Chef’s meals, but his irritation about their poor eating habits fly right over their heads)

-They adopted, aka Harry found and brought home, sphynx cat named Newton. They thought they where a boy but it was only after they’d had the cat for a month did they realise it was a girl. Newton is Lew’s and Harry’s adopted hairless baby and they love love LOVE her. Harry in particular is very fond of their little wrinkly four legged child. If it wasn’t for Lew Harry would have adopted a whole army of hairless cats (he knits Newton sweaters in his free time)

-Harry has a bizarre ability of just…appearing out of no where. You’ll walk round a corner and Harry will unexpectedly be there, unblinking, staring at you 

-Lew and Harry are close with the band, and Harry in particular is good friends with Animal - mostly because the two balance out each other’s craziness. Newton also loves Animal and likes to curl up on his drum stool or lick at his mess of hair. The other band members are sometimes caught off guard by Harry and his ability to appear out of no where, except for Floyd 

-Lew is a big summer guy, while Harry hates the heat. Lew is all about summer fun! Swimming in the sea, sandcastles, ice cream, volley ball on the beach, fishing, kayaking, the whole show! Meanwhile, Harry is huddled under an umbrella at the far end of the beach the furthest away from the sea 

-Harry is the best person for scary stories because he doesn’t hold back, something which Lew learnt the hard way and paid the price for by not sleeping well for the next five days. 

-Lew and Camilla are surprisingly very close, they bond over the fact of them both having crazy, bizarre husbands who they adore dearly. Camilla sometimes asks Lew to “eggsit” for her when she and Gonzo go out for the evening. Harry doesn’t understand why they need to babysit…eggs of all things, but he knits Lew egg cozies for them 

-For some reason I can picture Lew as being Italian, or at least he has strong family ties in Italy 

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

🔪 Revenge for Dummies 💋

jomeg fic - 10k - rating: T - high school AU - 2stab2fest - read on ao3

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED."

Jo is the queen bee of Midwest High, all until Meg steals the throne by claiming Jo is queerbaiting the school. What follows is the epic tale of Jo’s homoerotic revenge mission. It’s about girlhood and popularity and lesbianism and being a batshit insane 16 year old—with a knife!

written for the brilliantly run 2stab2fest and accompanied by gorgeous art from @keikakudom !!

chapter 1 of 5 below cut!

High School 101

Though it might’ve come as a shock to her 10 year old self, at 16, Jo Harvelle’s life is one long chick-flick moment. We’re talking resident queen bee of Midwest High with a side-dish of blonde bombshell best served hot. She rules alongside her best friend and loyal confidant Claire Novak, and their passionate alliance is founded on the fact they met in the opening weeks of middle school, when Claire found Jo reading Beginner’s Book to Blade Wielding in the quietest corner of the library and asked if she could read it with her.

It therefore may come as a surprise to some that Jo and Claire have ascended the ranks of social status with such ease and grace. Stabby lesbians with dearly departed daddys don’t often tend to work the runways of high school popularity, after all, but the facts of the matter fall like this: Jo has always been an outcast, but now she gets to be distant in the way royalty is and not in the way lepers are. Like, untouchable, but make it chic. 

The lesbian thing turns out to be pretty helpful too. Jo and Claire are known for their Biker Barbie lesbian swag, which, at Midwest High, provides the perfect intersection of gender. The boys are into their leather jackets, but Jo and Claire don’t want them back, and the girls crave their nonchalantly fashionable attitude, so Jo and Claire can bask in their heterosexually-awed stares. It’s a perfectly measured concoction of being the most beautiful girls in the whole school but not doing it for the guys. Jo and Claire simply aren’t like other girls, and so all the other girls want to be like them. 

So animal skin, pop-punk listening habits, and blonde hair. Paired with the incomprehensible fact they are two sapphic best friends who aren’t in love with each other, the whole school is pliant under their sweet and unbothered thumbs. Claire even had the incredible idea to glue Biker Barbie in pink rhinestones to the backs of their matching leather jackets. They are an inseparable gang of two and they rule the school, stomping past lockers and lesser students in matching black leather jackets, ripped jeans, and gleaming Doc Martens.

And it’s a fucking difficult life.

That’s Jo, right there, the protagonist of our Riverdalian love story. 

Yeah, hi, it’s me. And let me tell you, the pressures of being the lesbian leader of hundreds of high school aged monstrosities are pretty near infinite. Firstly, I’m 16. I’ve never even kissed a girl, and somehow being one of the first kids in my grade to come out means I’m some dykey messiah. It’s a pretty impressionable age to be seen as a sexuality first and a person second. 

Secondly, everyone in this place is like, stinking rich. Yachts and lawyers and mansions abound and so nobody can ever know me and mom scrape by living above a literal bar. All the rich kids have aloof, only vaguely invested parents, so they can do what they want, but I’m cursed with a mom who loves me and so is ridiculously interested (read: controlling) in my life. It’s just a shame my dad makes up for this by not being interested enough, in that he is dead.

Finally, amid the other infinite reasons why maintaining my monarchal image is hellishly hard, I’m not obliviously iconic like Cher from Clueless. I’m not just some dumb box bleach blonde—I’m the girl who’s making ‘freak with the knife collection’ work for her. That’s a hard line to walk. It’s a fucking tightrope. And I’ve been walking it for years. 

On the topic of walking, another of our story’s featured cast is now strutting into view. We’re alongside Jo and Claire in the cafeteria at lunch, gazing down on the masses of normies from the heights of the exclusive Royal Banqueting Table. Popularity is performance, and so the Royal Banqueting Table is the only one in the cafeteria on a raised bit of floor. It’s a stage, essentially; it’s like sitting in the royal box or the back of the bus. 

And through the maze of tables, past the nerds and the basketball team and the theater kids—this is a high school, after all—Meg Masters and The Rubies are winding their way towards Jo and Claire. Jo’s hackles raise at the sight of them, and she points them out to Claire with a nudge and a roll of her eyes. 

Meg Masters is just like the other girls. She wears tight dresses and little tops and buys all-natural avocado shampoo which has the word ‘organic’ on the bottle but which her daddy flies in from Hawaii. She is rich rich, with the kind of house so big her parents keep their sailing boat in the front garden. But with the hordes of hell hounds baying for blood at the grand entrance of the passcode protected gates, it’s not like anyone at Midwest High has ever gotten the chance to really see it. 

Well, anyone at Midwest High apart from Jo. 

Because Jo and Meg had been best friends once upon a time, back in kindergarten and elementary school, in that squishy age where time isn’t real but friends are. They had been everything to each other, vowing solemnly at sleepovers never to lose the friendship which was blossoming so pure between them. 

It wasn’t pure, Meg dropped me the second she got the chance to. The instant we reached high school, the ties were cut. 

Jo doesn’t remember exactly how their friendship ended, she just knows it hurt her more than anything else ever has.

Shut up, I remember it. Meg was a bitch. I guess some girls are just built different: she went out shopping with her flaky new rich friends, and me and Claire built a small empire.

It is perhaps pertinent to mention here that while Jo is a very self-aware lesbian, she hasn’t quite mastered the art of feminism yet. She is only 16, after all. 

Meg has equipped herself with new friends since the disintegration of her friendship with Jo, and these new friends take the form of The Rubies. If Meg keeps hell hounds at home, The Rubies are the demonic little chihuahuas who cling to her heels at school. Ruby 1 and Ruby 2 are essentially indifferentiable apart from the fact that Ruby 1 is blonde, with mean little bangs, and Ruby 2 is a pissy brunette. Underneath the skin they are both the same: shallow, devilish girls who delight in igniting chaos and looking good while doing it. So while the words Meg and The Rubies sound like a spunky indie girl band, the reality is that they are beautiful, invulnerably rich teens who love nothing better than making everyone else’s life hell. 

“Meg and The Rubies at 12 o’clock,” Claire announces to the table.

The royal court of Bela Talbot, Rowena MacLeod, and Billie (nobody knows their last name, in the same way nobody knows Adele’s or Madonna’s—you simply don’t need to) chorus a sympathetic sigh. They are staples of the Royal Banquet Table, being more loyal to the power of The Table than to the current monarchy itself, and so Jo and Claire tolerate them. Rowena’s basically a witch, and Bela’s English, and Jo is pretty sure Billie could strangle her with their bare hands and she’d say thank you, so. It’s not like they’re unattractive company.

Besides, there’s another member of the table Jo is more concerned with.

Dean Winchester leans over to Jo, and in a rarely captured example of sensible advice, says, “ignore them, Jo, they’re not worth your time.”

Dean Winchester is different to Bela, Rowena, and Billie. He makes Jo’s very lesbian brain come to an unwilling and baffling stop. She looks into his dewy green eyes and she hears white noise. He’s a senior, and he exclusively wears his dad’s too-big leather jacket because he thinks it makes him look cool (it kinda does) and Jo would die before admitting that sometimes it feels like no one else’s opinion of her in the whole world matters apart from his. 

Hey, fuck off! My feelings about Dean Winchester are perfectly normal.

“Yeah, you too,” Jo replies to Dean. And conversation is a subjective artform, but that is not the correct response to Dean’s previous statement. 

Dean smiles at Jo anyway, like she’s somehow fun to be around, and she’s glad that if being the Teen Queen of the school gets her anything, it’s this. Dean hangs out with them some days, when he feels like it. Mostly he hangs out in the school’s garage working on cars, and more recently he’s been spending time in the gardens with the new transfer student Clarence. 

My gaydar senses something is up there, by the way.

Jo is at least right about that. 

Noice.

But as much as Jo tries to take Dean’s surprisingly sensible advice to ignore Meg and The Rubies, this is proves a lot more difficult than expected when Meg stalks over to the Royal Banqueting Table, steps up on the bench and onto the table itself, and lands the heels of her two inch stilettos right into the bread of Jo’s sandwich.

Jo peers up past the ankle—plump and solid—up the shin—shaved smooth and speckled strawberry—to the thigh—soft and fleshy—and then almost but not quite up her teeny tiny silky skirt.

“The fuck are you doing? Get your weirdly impractical shoes out of my sandwich stat, Masters,” Jo growls. 

“Sorry, Josephine, no can do,” Meg says, her dainty lips curling maliciously around her words.

“You know that’s not my name.”

“Oh, is it not? That fact must have walked out of my brain the day you walked out of my life.”

Jo scoffs. “The day I walked out on you?”

“Okay, Meg, get off the table and stop making a scene,” Dean cuts in, trying to stench the flow of petty words before the drama dam bursts. He is unsuccessful.

Meg smiles. “Sorry, Deano. I have an announcement to make, and this table is my stage.” Her voice is rich as honey but dangerous as dart frog venom.

It is then that Jo sees the Gucci megaphone clutched in Meg’s perfectly manicured hands. 

This is so not groovy. 

“Hear ye, hear ye,” she begins before Claire can swipe the megaphone out of her hands and Dean can try and defuse the situation further. The Rubies are now standing either side of the Royal Banqueting Table like femme-fatale bouncers, effectively immobilizing the royal court. 

The whole cafeteria falls obediently silent. Somewhere among the fringe groups, a phone buzzes, and is quickly stifled.

“I know we’re all obsessed with Jo and Claire, our Biker Barbies. They’re the reigning queens of our little high school, right? And what do we love them for? Their cutesy little rhinestone jackets, their perfectly blonde hair? Their lesbian swag?” 

Jo and Claire exchange perturbed looks. Around the cafeteria, students are nodding affirmatively; if this is Meg trying to start a Les Mis style anti-monarchy rebellion, she’s gonna have to go a little more opera.

“But what if I told you that having matching Hobby-Lobby jackets isn’t the flex you think it is? What if I told you that they bleach their hair to make it that color?” 

An uneasy muttering sweeps across the hall, and Jo suddenly realizes: Meg is working up to something. 

What if she tells them about how I live above a creepy bar? What if she tells them about the dusty-ass van mom drives me halfway to school in? What if she tells them about how invested my mother is in my life and wellbeing and how weird it is that there’s only a twenty year age gap between us and that sometimes I feel more like I’m living in a documentary about troubled young women rather than a chick-flick movie?

“What if I told you that little Joey here isn’t a real lesbian?”

Jo almost spits out her water, the laugh comes out of her so hard. “What? Come on, jello-head, I’ve been averting my eyes from lingerie stores since I came out the womb.”

“Is that so, Harvelle?” Meg sings, and her eyes flash obsidian. “Because I have it on good authority that you, self-proclaimed cowgirl and lover of posse, have a crush on Dean Winchester.”

Suddenly everything about the situation is a lot less funny. The room erupts riotously, screeches of jeers and laughter echoing across the hall. Jo feels the blood rush to her face hard and fast, much like how she imagines an erection might feel if it was brought on by intense shame. Next to her, Dean’s minty eyes are wide and staring. She flinches away from him like his touch might corrupt her all-important lesbianism. 

“No, I don’t!” Jo cries. Her voice goes unheard over the chaos of the hall.

“Awh,” Meg sighs, pouting down patronizingly at where Jo is now shaking with rage in her seat,  “that’s exactly what someone with a massive crush on Dean Winchester would say.”

“You can’t just say she’s not a lesbian, only she can say that!” Claire screams indignantly. She scrambles up beside Meg before The Rubies can pull her down and wrestles the megaphone from her hands, giving her a solid elbow to the nose as she does so. Meg’s head ricochets back and her nose bursts, bloody in her hands. 

“Shut up!” Claire bellows into the megaphone. Her cry rebounds across the far wall of the cafeteria at such a volume several kids covered their ears, and the hall falls sheepishly silent a second time. A few whispers snake across the air, though, and Jo feels her kingdom slip a little further from her grasp. “Use your brains, boneheads. As if Jo would lie about being a lesbian. Where’s the fun in that? This butt-crazy bitch just wants what we have and you can’t let her lap it up.”

“You can’t call me a bitch, that’s misogynistic!” 

“You can’t call Jo straight, that’s homophobic!”

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED.”

Oh, fuck. As much as I like to channel Taylor Swift, I don’t think I can come back from the Q word like she can.

And so that is the day that Jo and Claire lose the Teen Queen crown; that is the day the Biker Barbies’ heads feel the cold sharp cut of the guillotine. Meg and The Rubies are the new reigning monarchs of Midwest High. 

[patrik6090]

I live in the u.s

But I hate this school

Their school system sucks ass

I swear all their money goes to cheerleader outfits and school lunch alone with decorations all around the school

They make it seem like they have everything a parent would want their child to have.

They have after school events that showcase all the clubs and programs they have, but when a student tries to join those programs or clubs they suddenly don't have space or they don't know what you're taking about.

They also have this no fighting on campus rule that they do not enforce at all.

A kid in my class was getting bullied and an assistant principal told him not to fight back because he'll just get in trouble with them. They pay attention when your defending yourself but when you don't they ignore the problem.

That kid is dead now btw (§uicide)

Also they have this weird way of teaching, I you already know the material and/or you are really smart they will provide you with help if you need it and will praise you.

If you dont get the material as easy and your failing a single class, they will not even try to help you and will just fail you.

Meaning

Smart = helping hand by school

Not smart = you're on your own buddy

There are so many racist students here too

it's mostly black and Hispanics at this school, there's literally only 10% of white students

The principal is literally so rude and I don't like her

Same with teachers

Disabled students are treated well tho so that's good

Also This school, even though it looks relatively nice and clean, it.....stinks....it fucking stinks all the time

The smell of musty ass students and bathrooms,

Boys constantly going into the girls lockerooms claiming they're trans just to fuck with us

Girls leaving bloody pads on the bathroom sinks and alot of the bathrooms stay dirty

There's so much more I can't even

burn that place down

Commit arson

I am a legal professional

And I am telling you to commit arson

Burn that shit down

Let then start over

[best-jimmy-buffett-song]

List of submitted songs

I'll be closing submissions this weekend, so I figured I'd post the songs we've received so far, just so yall can comb through and see if there's any of your favorites we missed. If we have, get them submitted asap! These are in no particular order.

If anyone's curious, the song that's received the most submissions so far is Boat Drinks!

Submissions here:

Margaritaville

Come Monday

Fins

Volcano

Pirate looks at 40

Cheeseburger in Paradise

Why Don't we Get Drunk

Changes in Latitudes

Son of a son of a sailor

One particular harbor

Five o'clock somewhere

Ballad of Spider John

Take it back

When Salome Plays the Drums

Mr. Spaceman

My Head Hurt My Feet Stink and I Don't Love Jesus

reggabilly hill

Bama Breeze

death of an unpopular poet

Coast of Carolina

He went to Paris

Nautical Wheelers

Tin Cup Chalice

In the shelter

The Captain and the Kid

Havana Daydreamin'

Caribbean Amphibian

something so feminine about a mandolin

Wonder why we ever go home

lovely cruise

coast of marseilles

boat drinks

coconut telegraph

growing older but not up

The weather is here, i wish you were beautiful

stars fell on alabama

island

little miss magic

we are the people our parents

knees of my haert

the last mango in paris

jolly mon sing

pascagoula run

pencil thin mustache

fruitcakes

lone palm

six string music

love in the library

quietly making noise

frenchman for the night

vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

delaney talks to statues

apocalypso

barefoot children

only time will tell

jamaica mistaica

school boy heart

banana wind

overkill

desdemona's building a rocket ship

mental floss

cultural infidel

happily ever after

false echoes

beach house on the moon

permanent reminder of a temporary feeling

pacing the cage

flesh and bone

i will play for gumbo

semi-true stories

lucky stars

i dont know and i dont care

mademoiselle

savannah fare you well

someday i will

tonight i just ned my guitar

breathe in, breathe out, move on

bubbles up

Biloxi

i heard i was in town

changing channels

Gypsies in the Palace

The city

brown eyed girl

Knee deep

God's own drunk

Manana

livingston saturday night

Grapefruit Juicy Fruit

migration

Take another road

wings

Sailboat for sale

no plane on sunday

sail on sailor

i wish lunch could last forever

nobody from nowhere

first look

ragtop day

The Christian