#school investment option
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it 😭😭😭#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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was about to start a post with 'do you remember the desperate housewives videogame. the husband shouldve been stoned to death. the cop and the mobster as well' and then realized no. nobody remembers the fuckin desperate housewives game are you kidding me
#genuinely some of the most appalling implications ive seen in a story and they are just NOT addressed at all. a cop obsessed with his--#--high school girlfriend going to the lengths to track her down like twelve years after she left town somehow being the best choice is awfu#i dont even want to put down a basic plot summary for context the husbands actions are so disgusting. the mc has amnesia (bc her--#--mobster exboyfriend tried to have her killed) and looks incredibly similar to the husbands dead wife. extrapolate from there if u wish#i dont know anything abt the show itself. in my mind it does not exist#the only normal characters in the game are the children+the mcs son and the gay fashion designer neighbor. w the neighbor it is bc he is--#--neither '''competition''' as the other housewives are nor a '''potential score''' as every other man is. nearly every single--#--interaction in the game is portrayed that way and it is maddening#i think the therapist mightve been decent ? i cannot remember he just kind of sat there and nodded along but at the very least you--#--did not have the option to fuck him and he was not a creep#^ guy who is far too invested in a 2006 tv show videogame. sorryyy#a strung out addict with amnesia investigating a mystery. harrier du bois type character LOL
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I reblogged this earlier with a few tags but reading through the replies is stirring up a lot of feelings about being labeled 'gifted' as a child and how this has impacted my life as an adult and I want to talk about it more in-depth here.
In my part of Ohio the program was labeled TAG (Talented and Gifted) and started in 4th grade (ages 9-10). I was already a shy, introverted, awkward child who was incessantly bullied by the other kids for having poor social skills - as an adult I now know I was certainly extremely easy to spot as being autistic, and was raised by two shy, introverted, autistic parents who had poor social skills themselves. On top of this, it was easy to find other targets to bully me for as I was the only Latino kid in my classes and had an embarrassingly outspoken mother who dressed me in any mismatched clothing that we could afford from the thrift store and whose English wasn't all that great.
At the beginning of the 4th grade year, I was assessed over several sessions by the TAG coordinator. I liked her; she made me feel special and was kind and encouraging. After a week or more (I don't remember exactly) of this, she administered a test, which she told me was to see whether I would be placed in her class. I already had extremely classic ADHD symptoms of executive dysfunction, poor organizational skills, and pretty much no sense of time (I was amazed once by my friend who could simply call out that it had been about 5, 10, 15 minutes and was always accurate to within a couple of minutes; to me 15 minutes might as well have been 3 hours). I had spent all of 2nd and 3rd grade missing almost every recess to do my homework from the night before in the principal's office, which was agonizing, and I almost never actually finished it. My grades when I moved to the school I attended in 4th grade were averaging C to D at all times.
So my immediate assumption at being given this special test was that I was being assessed for exactly how very stupid I was. So I threw the test. By a lot. A Lot a lot.
They saw right through that, of course. Any kid who gets a 25% on a test is throwing the test. So although it took them a couple of weeks to place me in the class after the beginning of the session, I joined a group of about a dozen other kids who left class every day for reading, science, and history for 2 hours every day (I wasn't included in the math session; I do believe I have mild dyscalculia, because it always takes me a lot of effort to learn new math concepts). We learned about a lot of things in depth that the other kids were learning at a gloss level - I read a high school-level biography of Martin Luther King in 4th grade, for example.
Gladly, I might add! I loved TAG. Finally, we got to read interesting topics in detail for credit! I had always constantly gotten in trouble for reading novels under my desk during class, but it was always while everyone else was struggling to read a grade level-appropriate book that had been easy for me years before.
You might think I'm bragging when I speak of my hyperlexia, but the thing is it's now known that hypelexic kids actually end up with lower reading comprehension and social skills because of these very TAG programs. The adults in our lives assumed that because we devoured the dictionary and encyclopedia for fun in elementary school, we were very smart and could be let loose to write essays and do presentations for the rest of the TAG kids. This wasn't true.
What did I need as a TAG kid in 4th grade? I remember very well the first paper we were assigned to write. I kept excitedly going to the TAG coordinator to show her what I was learning, pointing out interesting facts in the paragraph I had just read. She finally snapped at me that she couldn't help me in-depth with my paper because she had the entire class to work with. I was crushed. I had been trying to share with her, not get help. The kind woman who had positively encouraged me one-on-one during the assessment process was gone. I needed to do it on my own.
It's kind of funny. I have no idea what her name was now.
In middle school, the TAG program was conducted the same way in the new school district we moved to at the beginning of my 6th grade year (ages 11-12). Now I was included in math as well, because the new school district was somehow 3 semesters behind what I'd learned at the previous school and I finally caught up in math for the first time ever. In middle school, kids begin to rotate classes - going from classroom to classroom for different subjects instead of teachers switching topics. I started to notice something interesting - there were 2 units in my grade, each with 3 homerooms that rotated between the history, science, and math classrooms, and all the college prep kids were in my unit. Not only this, but all the tag kids were in my homeroom. There were about 20 of us and we were all in the same homeroom.
I have no idea what the other 8-10 kids did when we were in TAG, but now we spent 4 hours every week separated from the rest of the class. TAG was now more of a special presentation where we would spend 2-4 weeks learning one focused topic. Once, we spent 2 weeks learning about how to build an electric car; another unit had us cramming in a 4-week unit of German; yet another had us gluing together a toothpick bridge to test with weights to see which team made the best design.
In high school (age 14-18) TAG was over, but now we had advanced classes, and AP classes during junior and senior years (information link is to wikipedia). Those of us who had been put on the college prep track, which we'd been asked to choose in 7th grade, had sessions with guidance counselors (9th & 10th grades) about what major we'd want to study in university, and then (11th grade) which universities we would want to apply to. We had to do a lot more work than kids in the regular courses - compared to my friends that weren't in the advanced courses I was being asked to read novels and textbooks almost twice as fast, and write more papers, do more homework. There began to be a lot more pressure to get all As, to keep one's grade average up - colleges want to see a perfect 4.0 average out of you, and even higher if you go to a school (as I did) with a weighted grade point average.
The more advanced & AP classes you took, the more it counted toward a higher grade point average. (Most references I found online to weighted scales talk about a 5.0 scale, but my school had a 6.0 weighted scale.) My junior year (11th grade, ages 16-17), I took as many advanced classes as I could, but when I scheduled my senior year I had started to check out. I found more and more I was running as fast as I could on a treadmill that was running backwards. Classes were harder but not any more interesting, and my work was still as scattered an ineffectual as it had been in 4th grade.
When my guidance counselor asked me what i wanted to major in when I was in 10th grade, I said I wanted an English degree, but not in literature, but rather the words themselves. This woman had apparently never heard of linguistics and told me I would have to coordinate with the English program at whatever school I got into to create a special program for me.
Well, what had I learned in TAG? That it was best not to stick out or be strange, because teachers don't like that. They want you to put your head down and do what you're assigned. So I decided to be a music ed. major instead, take AP music theory my 11th grade year to prepare for hitting the ground running when I got to university after high school, and settle for my second choice in a career.
By the end of my senior year I was actually completely over it. I was first chair flute in a section of 27 other girls. They treated me like a pariah. There was actual physical property damage of my instruments, more than once. There was bluster about an organized campaign to get the 2nd chair to challenge me out of my chair (she never actually tried). There was talk about how the band director had a bias and that was the only reason I was first chair.
When I graduated high school, I married my boyfriend and joined an evangelical cult with him. We moved over an hour away to attend the church involved and I never went to college. I had kids instead.
I deliberately gave up a full-ride talent scholarship to a prestigious university to do so. I had decided I had seen enough of that.
None of my kids were pressured to get all As, nor to join the TAG class. In fact one of my children had her teacher call me in for a conference where I was practically given an elevator pitch as though joining the class were her best chance at a good career one day (she was nine). I flat out told that teacher no, my child would not be participating.
ohhhhh I get it now. the "gifted kid" discourse exists because people see it fundamentally as a sign of Privilege and not as a largely meaningless category that puffs up weird children before setting them up for the same unremarkable lives as everyone else; thus they interpret people going "the educational system gave me false expectations before ultimately abandoning me to the same heartless world as everyone else" as "why am I, The Main Character, not getting everything I ever wanted."
#emotional baggage dump like whoa batman#anyway don't put your kids in TAG it's where love of learning goes to die#also community college or vocational school is a better option these days as far as return on investment goes anyway#this country needs young tradespeople and they make the dough!!#marti's mad life
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"The story of 'John Doe 1' of the Democratic Republic of the Congo is tucked in a lawsuit filed five years ago against several U.S. tech companies, including Tesla, the world’s largest electric vehicle producer. In a country where the earth hides its treasures beneath its surface, those who chip away at its bounty pay an unfair price. As a pre-teen, his family could no longer afford to pay his $6 monthly school fee, leaving him with one option: a life working underground in a tunnel, digging for cobalt rocks. But soon after he began working for roughly two U.S. dollars per day, the child was buried alive under the rubble of a collapsed mine tunnel. His body was never recovered.
The nation, fractured by war, disease, and famine, has seen more than 6 million people die since the mid-1990s, making the conflict the deadliest since World War II. But, in recent years, the death and destruction have been aided by the growing number of electric vehicles humming down American streets. In 2022, the U.S., the world’s third-largest importer of cobalt, spent nearly $525 million on the mineral, much of which came from the Congo.
As America’s dependence on the Congo has grown, Black-led labor and environmental organizers here in the U.S. have worked to build a transnational solidarity movement. Activists also say that the inequities faced in the Congo relate to those that Black Americans experience. And thanks in part to social media, the desire to better understand what’s happening in the Congo has grown in the past 10 years. In some ways, the Black Lives Matter movement first took root in the Congo after the uprising in Ferguson in 2014, advocates say. And since the murder of George Floyd and the outrage over the Gaza war, there has been an uptick in Congolese and Black American groups working on solidarity campaigns.
Throughout it all, the inequities faced by Congolese people and Black Americans show how the supply chain highlights similar patterns of exploitation and disenfranchisement. ... While the American South has picked up about two-thirds of the electric vehicle production jobs, Black workers there are more likely to work in non-unionized warehouses, receiving less pay and protections. The White House has also failed to share data that definitively proves whether Black workers are receiving these jobs, rather than them just being placed near Black communities. 'Automakers are moving their EV manufacturing and operations to the South in hopes of exploiting low labor costs and making higher profits,' explained Yterenickia Bell, an at-large council member in Clarkston, Georgia, last year. While Georgia has been targeted for investment by the Biden administration, workers are 'refusing to stand idly by and let them repeat a cycle that harms Black communities and working families.'
... Of the 255,000 Congolese mining for cobalt, 40,000 are children. They are not only exposed to physical threats but environmental ones. Cobalt mining pollutes critical water sources, plus the air and land. It is linked to respiratory illnesses, food insecurity, and violence. Still, in March, a U.S. court ruled on the case, finding that American companies could not be held liable for child labor in the Congo, even as they helped intensify the prevalence. ... Recently, the push for mining in the Congo has reached new heights because of a rift in China-U.S. relations regarding EV production. Earlier this month, the Biden administration issued a 100% tariff on Chinese-produced EVs to deter their purchase in the U.S. Currently, China owns about 80% of the legal mines in the Congo, but tens of thousands of Congolese work in 'artisanal' mines outside these facilities, where there are no rules or regulations, and where the U.S. gets much of its cobalt imports. 'Cobalt mining is the slave farm perfected,' wrote Siddharth Kara last year in the award-winning investigative book Cobalt Red: How The Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives. 'It is a system of absolute exploitation for absolute profit.' While it is the world’s richest country in terms of wealth from natural resources, Congo is among the poorest in terms of life outcomes. Of the 201 countries recognized by the World Bank Group, it has the 191st lowest life expectancy."
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🎞️ Cam&Em Studios Presents...
Cam [ @highvern] and Em [ @gyuswhore] are proud to welcome you into the 2024 academic year with the Seventeen TA Collab! Take a look at our Course Options collated by your favourite writers, taught by your favourite members!
📆 Choose your Class Times and Professors below!
‼️Some classes contain NSFW content, remember to check the warnings on each lecture before registering!
register for classes so you don't miss out 📌 join the taglist with a visible age indicator on your blog!
🎓MSc Economics: Choi Seungcheol & TA!reader
📋Course Name: ex-conomics by @ugh-yoongi
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.
🎓MSc Structural Engineering: Yoon Jeonghan & TA!reader
📋Course Name: building blocks by @the-boy-meets-evil
✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.
🎓M.A. Spanish: TA!Joshua Hong x reader
📋Course Name: How to be a Latin Lover by @haologram
✂️ Course Outline📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: the dreadful semester has started — meaning your summer vacation has come to end, and so has your summer fling…or has it?
🎓MSc Human Anatomy: Wen Junhui & TA!reader
📋Course Name: pulse points by @wheeboo
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: Being the TA for your anatomy class has always been really rewarding, especially stemming in your passion for the medical field. But as it’s approaching the peak of the school semester and labs have gotten more intense, you aren’t surprised to be dedicating your time to tutoring your strangely handsome, dorky, yet enigmatic classmate during after school hours — and reassuring him how to not be afraid of dissections.
🎓MSc Zoology: TA!Kwon Soonyoung x reader
📋Course Name: Araneae by @haologram
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues.
🎓MSc Chemistry: TA!Jeon Wonwoo & TA!reader
📋Course Name: endpoint by @highvern
✂️Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: Senior year of college is meant to be full of celebration and smooth sailing. Years of work culminating in the final semesters that will send you off into the real world where clubs, sports, and weekends packed with hungover volunteering to pad your resume no longer mattered. It’d be a piece of cake if it wasn’t for your fuck buddy turned coworker having the same plan. But only one of you can get the department’s most coveted recommendation that all but guarantees your acceptance. Tension rises and the nearly four year thing you’ve had with Wonwoo approaches its endpoint.
🎓MA Classics: TA!Lee Jihoon x Reader
📋Course Name: Oh, Agony! by @cheolism
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: when you both find out that your boyfriend, lee jihoon, will be the ta for your classic literature class, it is agreed your relationship will take a temporary pause . no public dates, no pda; and, most tragically, no sex. nothing that can give away the truth to your relationship. only, it really is easier said than done.
🎓MSc Astronomy and Astrophysics: TA!Lee Seokmin & TA!reader
📋Course Name: Do Stars Collapse Into Black Holes, or Fall Into Something Unknown? by @idyllic-ghost
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: Starting your second year of your master’s degree in astrophysics, and your first year as a TA, you were stressed enough - but the universe knows no bounds for your suffering. Seokmin, your handsome and annoyingly smart classmate, just had to become your colleague. As if you weren’t hard on yourself already, Seokmin’s presence only proved to fuel your self-loathing. But does he hate you too, or do you need to open your eyes and come back down to Earth?
🎓MSc Psychological Research: TA!Kim Mingyu & reader
📋Course Name: Statistically Speaking... by @gyuswhore
✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: In all your years of academic endurance, you’ve never failed. A 100% success rate, despite you cutting it close at times. However, the line graph that is your life starts tanking somewhere around the time you began taking this hellsent Statistics in Psychological Research class. With a professor that wouldn’t know his ass from his head, and an overworked, overenthusiastic, and overcaptivating TA, it couldn't possibly get any worse than this. However, statistically speaking,…it could.
🎓MFA Studio Art: TA!Xu Minghao x TA!Reader
📋Course Name: Perspective by @tomodachiii
✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: Xu Minghao hates you. You've been sure of it ever since you met him. And when you find yourself working alongside him as a teaching assistant for your painting professor, you think you might hate him too. But one late night, two semesters, and three exhibits later, you find your perspective beginning to shift.
🎓MSc Creative Writing: Boo Seungkwan & TA!reader
📋Course Name: Put It In Writing by @bitchlessdino
✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: You keep things professional--as you should--even if one of your students is someone you hooked up with one night before the college semester started. Meanwhile, Boo Seungkwan is anything but honest--he's a writer after all--but if he is honest about one thing, it's about wanting to write a new story with you.
🎓MS Computer Science: TA!Chwe Hansol x TA!Reader
📋Course Name: love between the lines by @etherealyoungk
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: despite the initial nerves of your new gig as an english literature TA, you’re ready to tackle the new job. that’s where you meet vernon, the computer science TA, and he’s interesting to say the least. he’s all about coding and numbers while you live and breathe poetry and novels. it’s clear that you both have contrasting interests and personalities - but they say opposites attract, right?
🎓MSc Mathematics: Lee Chan x TA!Reader
📋Course Name: rates of change by @wqnwoos
📚Lecture Posted Here!
🖇️Course Overview: Your first semester as TA throws your previously unassuming college life into disarray, fuelled almost entirely by the brown-eyed and charming student who’s slipping closer to failing with every lecture. And in return for your mathematical assistance, Lee Chan decides he’s going to set you up with the guy you’ve been persistently pining over for a year and a half. It’s a simple equation: you teach him calculus, and he’ll teach you how to flirt. Except, as you’re both quick to discover, mathematical equations don’t translate over to real life as easily as you’d expect.
#seventeenTAcollab#masterlist#collab#seventeen#svt#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#scoups#jeonghan#joshua#jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#dokyeom#mingyu#the8#minghao#seungkwan#vernon#dino#smut#fluff
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Hey, sorry if you’ve been asked this before, but I have ADHD and I’ve been following your comic for years and just now have started to write my own comic (partially because you really inspired me). But I’m really struggling with staying on the project even when it’s boring and getting myself to work on it in the first place. Do you have any tips on how to keep your brain invested or just to make yourself do the work at all?
I have excellent news, I literally just figured out something really important about this.
So when you're an ADHD kiddo or otherwise have difficulty staying on task in a structured environment where Task is the Priority, the main way people try to MAKE you stay on task is by removing your access to anything that is not The Task. No phone, no TV, no doodling, no going outside, etc. In practice, this just makes us miserable because it takes the boredom that's always simmering around a 2 or 3 and cranks it all the way up to 11. In the same way that you would have difficulty staying on task if you were in physical pain, this crushing existential monotony makes it very difficult to work. The work might get done simply because you have no other options, but it will not be done quickly or well, and it will take a while to recover from how much it hurt.
What I realized earlier this week is I caught myself doing this to myself. I had 42 pages of background colors to do, and I thought to myself "this sounds really tedious, but I suppose I have nothing better I can do." And I realized what I'd just thought, and got very alarmed.
Because back when I was an ADHD kiddo imprisoned by school scheduling and a million little factors that keep children immobile and restrained, I couldn't stop thinking about how big and exciting the world was, and how much I wanted to be anywhere but here. When I was feeling really crushed in I'd pick a random spot on the maps on my wall and just imagine being there instead of my bedroom. This was the impetus behind almost all of my creative energy. I've said it before - anything is a prison if you can't leave, and being in a prison makes it easy to imagine how amazing things could be outside of it. Aurora's initial worldbuilding was forged in the crucible of fifth grade misery. My enthusiasm for art and my creative drive are inextricable from my sense of wonder and yearning for excitement in the real world. Not escapism, but appreciation. Wonders unimaginable are out there, and I gain just as much joy seeking them out as I do conjuring them up in my head and sharing them with all of you.
So now that I'm a grown-up with actual freedom in every way I've been able to get, the idea that I was staying on task by making myself believe the world was small and not worth seeing was extremely alarming. It could keep me on task for an afternoon, but at the cost of slowly extinguishing the thing that made me want to make art in the first place - the hunger to experience and draw inspiration from all the myriad complexities in the world.
So what I've been doing is I've been purposefully and intentionally taking excursions whenever I catch myself thinking "I could take a break but it wouldn't be worth it, it's the same outdoors as always, I'll be uncomfy and unproductive and tired." Because that is never true. Every time I've put down the stylus and gone out, I've been renewed in one way or another, and when I come back to comfort fully recharged I get a lot of shit done. Because it is easier to work on anything if you remember why you wanted to make it in the first place, and it is self-defeating misery to just lock yourself in with it and tell yourself you're a bad person if you can't get it done.
I honestly don't know how widely applicable this is. I have worse wanderlust than anyone I know, so for me this has always been modeled as imprisonment vs freedom. I've also been extremely lucky to find myself in a profession that lets me set my own pace on literally everything I do. But I genuinely believe that when it comes to making art with ADHD, you need to give yourself freedom to move laterally, not just in the direction of obvious forward progress. We don't think linearly in any other part of our lives - art is no different.
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[Image: tweet by Dan Wentzel which reads ""My hot take on "15 minute cities" is if you can get to the coffee shop within fifteen minutes, but the barrista who makes your drink can't afford to live closer than a half-hour away then you live in a theme park." - Gareth Klieber." /end ID]
#I hadn't heard 'missing middle' before and it feels useful#city planning#urban infrastructure#infrastructure#I grew up in a semi rural small town and walked uphill both ways to school#definitely taking over fifteen minutes each way#and for community college classes if I couldn't get a lift it was an over forty minute walk#so like#I am coming from a somewhat different perspective on time investment#but yeah I do feel we need way better transit and much more mixed zoning#we need more middle ground in housing and variety of options#we need more little corner parks for kids#I stopped using public transit because of the pandemic#and am now much more reliant on friends for transportation to appointments and such#I can't actually get where I need to without help anymore!#it's frustrating!
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wld u have any input on perv!reo w an innocent/oblivious reader??
──✧ ˚ · “ 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞
*.✧ ft. 𝐫𝐞𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞
*.✧ wc: 10.1k. nsfw & dark content / 17+ only / minors dni ! - fem reader, characters are 18+ (but meet as teenagers), dub-con, slow burn, reo's a whore and a sleaze, manipulation, corruption, slight obsessive behavior, misuse of power (reader sees reo as kind of a brotherly figure), cunnilingus, reo's needy, mentions of taking unsolicited sex pics, panty stealing. // notes: reo is either a perv or a sub and there's no in between ! reo fuckers enjoy (☆ω☆)
the first time reo sees you, he’s barely fourteen and it’s in his family home, sitting straight in your seat at the dining table.
you look gorgeous with your big, curious eyes, long lashes, and a lip balm giving your pout a pink sheen. you’re different from all the other girls he’s seen around at school - you don’t try to look older, and actually look your age. a nice change for once. he steals a few glances upon your way from his seat diagonally across, fork digging into the tender steak on his plate. it was nice for a change to not be the only teen at the table, and actually, it was a bit surprising too. your parents were frequent guests at his house, due to the many links between their company and mikage corp, but this was the first time you tagged along. actually, reo doesn’t think he’s ever heard them mention having a daughter - but then again, his head is always anywhere but here, at the table, when the adults discuss over business details and joke around topics that make his head ache and confusion settle on his features.
“what about you, love? got any plans for the future?” reo moves his eyes from his glass of juice to his mother upon hearing her address you. she’s so sweet, just like always.
you blink once, twice, and nod quickly, “oh- oh, yes, actually. i want to help people.” you beam, the smile you’re sporting making your cheeks plump and full. “maybe, um, set up a foundation, or something? i dunno, like the one that organized the ball a week ago, right papa?”
reo has to hold back a roll of his eyes, the interest you first sparked in him long gone. now this was something he’s heard from about every other girl he knows - the other option either being fashion or a family company heir, just like him. you sound a bit clueless, too, the sheepish tone of your voice making you seem even more childish. (not like he’s grown up, of course, but then again, you’re even worse.)
despite how cute you are that day, reo doesn’t feel any interest in you whatsoever. the reason behind why you looked so innocent compared to his other friends, who already started to experiment with makeup and more mature clothing, doesn’t make it any easier to like you either. you are a year younger, and from what his mother tells him once you leave, your parents are very strict on keeping you unscathed by the pressure social media and society puts on young girls. now the thought of you hanging out at his place more often sounds so nohow, it doesn’t even make him excited to finally have some company. you seem immature and a bit naive, and while reo’s anything but aloof, he doubts that he’ll ever get along with you.
or, at least, so he thinks after the night you first meet. as expected, you start coming over to his place more often, now that a brand new deal between your families is about to be signed. while your parents discuss future plans over wine, reo is shocked to hear that for once, maybe he can show you around the house instead of sitting next to them and getting familiar with the investments.
you’re not actually that insufferable, reo realizes after several long hours of you hanging out together in his room. you have an older brother that’s a professional volleyball player now, and he sees the longing in your eyes when you mention him playing overseas. it sparks his interest, how your brother began his career when he was just about his age - he had everything a teenage boy could ever dream of, and yet, he’d rather move to the other side of the world to chase a dream that didn’t gave him any certainty. the more you talk, the softer and less infantile you seem - reo realizes that you actually do know a lot about worldwide humanitarian issues, a lot more than any other kid your age. he listens intently as you tell him about the things you like to do after school, about the many hobbies your parents put you on, and somehow, you manage to find a common ground. you talk and game and laugh for hours, until the night falls and your mum comes up to reo’s room to collect you.
reo gives you a little wave goodbye, and from now on looks forward to your visits - for a while.
years pass by, and while reo manages to keep up his spot on top of his every class, all while meeting up with friends and traveling the world with his parents, you just seem… the same. yeah, you got smarter - a scholarship from the states being the best proof - and prettier, too, which reo is sure other boys notice as well. but you still have this little dreamy edge to you, your laugh all too high pitched and random at times, and you still blush profusely whenever a boy comes anywhere near. you’re still nice, but just not as fun to be around; you're different, than him and the other girls he knows and starts to surround himself with. it’s not your fault either, as reo figures it must be your parents keeping you away from all the opportunities - better or worse - that teenagery has to offer. you’re busy with the scholarship now, thinking of going on a student exchange to the usa, even, and while reo sees it as praiseworthy, you two just seem to lose the common language you once had.
second year of highschool comes by, and you’re merely just a thought at the very back of reo’s head when he meets nagi. the two get along as if they’ve known each other their whole lives, even though seishiro needs a little (uh, maybe a bit bigger) push, and the friendship and newly found passion about football gets reo going. he doesn’t even see you around too often anymore, considering he’s barely at home after school, and even if he is, the time is spent on arguing with his parents. the only times he remembers about you is when you’re brought up by his father - a prime example of how one should take advantage of the privileges they were born into, instead of picking up a worthless dream. he knows you’ve got nothing to do with this, and yet still, the thought of you makes reo hurl.
reo doesn’t really miss you a lot during his time at blue lock - and he doesn’t think it’s anything harsh, considering you were barely good friends and only ever hung out when your parents did, and it was still long years ago, back before you two even properly hit puberty. there’s enough going on during the selections to keep his mind busy and muscles taut with stress - he doesn’t need any interruptions in getting to the top and so, the thought of you is pushed to the very back of his mind. it only ever changes the day of the u20 match, when the buzz of the blue lock’s team victory is still making his skin crawl and blood rush. he’s tired, his legs feel like jelly, and yet, he still makes out the familiar voice from the front row stands as he goes to leave to the locker room.
“reo!” he turns his head upon his name being called out, brows furrowed as he wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. he recognizes the sing-song voice, but the memory is a bit blurry as violet eyes scan through the crowd and eventually fall upon the hand vigorously waving around - moving down, they lock with your bright orbs, a vibrant grin on your lips.
to say that he’s surprised to see you is an understatement - he takes a quick glance around you to check if you’re there with your parents, but he sees that you’re in fact alone. must’ve been your idea now, wasn’t it? reo jogs over to the barriers, and only after closing the distance between the two of you does he notice the changes in your appearance that must’ve happened over the past few months.
he spots the way your features look way more mature now, and how you seem to finally have started to accentuate them with the right makeup. your skin still has the girly glow to it, though, or it might just be the wide smile on your face that’s lighting it up - either way, you definitely look even prettier than the last time reo has seen you, which must’ve been around his sixteenth birthday.
“you won!” you exclaim happily, leaning against the barriers and reaching a hand out to high-five him once he’s in arms reach. he’s a bit hesitant, but only out of surprise. “thought they would never bring you out,” you quip, watching reo roll his eyes. geez, thanks. “doesn’t your head hurt from that save?” your dainty fingers touch at reo’s reddened forehead, and it makes a foreign flutter wake in his chest.
“not really,” he shrugs, letting you ruffle his hair slightly. were you really that touchy with him these few years ago, back when you were children? he can’t recall. “what’re you doing here anyway?” he rubs at his eye, the other one glancing up at you curiously. from his spot under the bleachers, he has just the perfect sight of your cleavage - and usually it wouldn’t affect him in any way, but to his surprise, his gaze is met with bare skin. reo has to swallow thickly upon the initial startle, eyes momentarily locked with the gold necklace that he now remembers you wear even years ago - but this time, it rests right between the valley of your perky breasts, barely visible from the spot where your tits squeeze together. fuck - he knows that puberty can be a blessing sometimes. but could that really be the same you?
your voice brings him back to the present, gaze quickly tearing away from your chest, “i could finally see you play, reo! i never even heard you mention soccer,” you state, voice falling a bit near the end of the sentence. almost as if you regretted the way your friendship turned out. “do you still have the same number?” the question brings a hopeful tilt to your voice, and it makes reo smile a bit. there it is - the same awaiting, sweet sound.
“yeah,” he replies, looking up to lock his eyes with your doe ones. the clumpy, thick mascara on your lashes really does the trick, he thinks as he watches your lips stretch in a smile. “i don’t have my phone on me at blue lock, though - but we will catch up once i’m back, yeah?” now you were not the only one that has undergone a major change throughout the years, and while reo didn’t look all that different, there was definitely a shift in his personality. yeah, he was still real sweet with everyone, barely ever getting into any fights or arguments and staying on good terms with pretty much everybody. he always could have any girl he wanted - could pick and choose from tens of them at school, and then everywhere else he went - and yet, not even one of them grew suspicious of the way he is. not one of his previous girlfriends or the ones he only hung out with once or twice seemed aware of how his eyes naturally rested lower than on their face when they spoke. they only grew giddier at the way his hands would grope at the soft fat of their tits, their hips, squeezing at their bottom in a way that made their head spin - in a way they’ve already heard from their friends, who also got lucky enough to catch reo’s attention. maybe they were also just glad that it was finally their chance, and didn’t give his hungry touches any second thoughts? maybe they really did think that he was just like all the other horny teenagers, buzzing with hormones, and that his long days of practice only spurred him on even more. sometimes, reo was surprised, even, at how quickly they would respond to his sly texts, a picture attached with no trace of shame. did they ever let the thought of him keeping these pictures linger, or were they really just this dumb?
the more recognition he gets thanks to the blue lock project and neo egoist league, the larger his range of possibilities grows. there’s girls flooding his dm’s, his name being thrown around different thirst tweets, and yet, it’s not like reo’s not used to it already. he's turned eighteen barely a few months before the blue lock project, and so he's already had plenty of time to finally let up all of this pent up tension. he meets up with a few girls during his breaks, spends the night, and is off early morning - with a pair of lace knickers in his back pocket, if he’s lucky (and the girl oblivious enough). some of them don’t even notice the flash going off as they ride him, their back to his face, taking just a little memoir to keep locked under a passworded folder in his gallery - something that he can play back in his mind, when he’s back at the blue lock facility, alone in the showers.
between his little hook ups, he still finds the time to keep his promise - and drives over to your house, which he is a little surprised to find with no sight of you the first time he comes by. “oh, she’s living on her own now! had to move closer to her university.” oh. "she'll be so happy to see you, though, reo! it's been ages since i've seen you, too." to say that he’s shocked by your mother’s words is an understatement - hell, you could even fly a private helicopter to uni each and every day if you only ever wished for it - so did your parents, always so overprotective, really let you move out and start living by yourself? nonetheless, reo is actually kind of content to be hanging out with you again. (the way you carry yourself, so soft and sweet as if your looks weren't enough to fill any guy's thoughts with pure filth, might just be the main reason.) he learns that you got into the university of tokyo on top of the acceptance list and are floored with not only work, but also the uni life that everyone else has been telling you about. ah. so that’s where the sudden change in looks came from, he realizes as you tell him about how happy you were that your best of friends managed to get in with you.
“she’s so cool! i think you would’ve liked her, reo,” you tease, a grin on your lips as you tell him about one of your friends and even go to show him her instagram pictures. he hums, “yeah, she's-" "if only she wasn’t into older guys.” you elbow him in the side with a giggle, and it makes him wonder how to wrap his head around the dissonance you’re giving him.
reo starts to feel less and less surprised with the way you turned out the more you tell him about the girls you befriended in high school, and then the ones you were hanging out with in your sorority house as well. you’ve always been kept in a bubble, as your parents’ greatest treasure - their sweetest little girl, as if you weren’t in your golden age to start experimenting with life and all it had to offer. it was honestly only a matter of time until you slipped away, the blinders your parents wore making them oblivious to your newly born adventurous nature. she’s not like that, he bet they’d say. have you seen her? she’s as innocent as they get! how the hell you managed to stay just that way, reo couldn’t figure out for the life of him. you’re wearing the skimpiest skirts he’s seen on a girl in a long time, your tits spilling out of your top, lashes curled to the heavens and yet, when you look at him, you have the same childish excitement in your doe-like eyes - and it feels as if you haven’t grown at all from when he first met you.
you were never really insufferably dumb to begin with, and reo knows that. your parents made sure you got the greatest education possible and you were a straight A student, keeping interest in many fields - starting from finances and economics, through arts and finishing at high tech. maybe that’s what makes it so appealing and easy to talk to you, spending long hours on bickering and discussing, even though your mind seems so, so much more innocent than his - hell, than any other girl’s your age, too. whenever he slips a dirty joke in the conversation, you frown slightly, a pout on your lips as if asking, what do you mean, reo?, and it doesn’t make any sense to him. yet again - how can that be possible, with the way all of your little friends are carrying themselves?
you start spending more time with each other, considering how close your condo is to the blue lock facility, and it becomes a little routine for him to come right over to your place whenever he gets a few days of break. you spend the time watching tv shows, stuffing your face full of snacks, going to the arcade and gossiping about reo’s teammates or whatever one of your girlfriends did since the last time you two have seen each other.
“m’so happy we’re friends now, reo,” you mumble one night, curled up to his side on the couch, nearly dozing off with some random action movie playing from the flat screen tv. “y’remind me of him so much, yanno?”
ah, so there it is - the reason behind you always staying hooked to his arm. even though you were coming from a very similar background as him, reo was still a little more experienced in life - having seen more, thanks to the blue lock, among other things - and after all, he was a year older than you, wasn’t he? he carried himself with this confident, yet playful smile all of the time, and made everyone in his company feel warm - very much like your older brother did. thanks to him (or more like your stories about him), reo manages to get a good glimpse at how a sportsman’s life really looks like - how even though your family was so close, his visits happen thrice a year at most, and it leaves you missing him so bad, he even has to comfort you and wipe away your tears on one of your movie marathon nights.
sometimes, it seems like there’s two sides to him. one, that makes every girl’s knees buckle at just one glance; and the other, showcased by a bright grin and giddy behavior. either way, reo doesn’t really think of himself badly. it’s not like he’s doing any of it against the girls’ wishes, isn’t it? some would even consider it a good deed, even, he’s pretty sure, with the way he’s the very first one to be touching them that way, taking their innocence away. the only time he ever starts to feel guilt eating away at his insides is when the same filth spills all over his mind, clouding over his senses whenever you are around.
it’s been a year since the neo egoist league has ended - a year full of you, amongst soccer and other things that tore his mind and body down with exhaustion. movie nights, adventure parks, helping you study, going to frat parties with you, even - cause none of the girls are comin’, reo, please, just this once! - as if he really needed any convincing to come. some of the guys there were his high school friends, he realized, and so the thought of catching up with his old colleagues made the party even more appealing. (not to mention the tens of girls that would kill to have him lick the salt off their tummy, the tequila on his tongue bringing a bitter taste to their mouth as they kissed later - one of his favorite party activities, honestly, considering how hard it made him in his pants.)
the first time it happens, reo’s by the makeshift bar, chatting up with a friend he used to sit with at chemistry lab as he pours them a drink - and his head lazily tilts to the side upon hearing your voice calling out to him.
“reo!” you sound as excited as always when addressing him, and he has to chuckle at the way you stumble over your own feet as you strut over to his spot by the bar. “reo, we’re- we’re playing beer pong. wanna team up w’me?”
the amused laughter dies down in his throat as his eyes zero in on your cleavage, the fat of your tits jiggling with each step you hurriedly take towards him. he sees the slight sheen of sweat, watches the way it reflects the neon lights, how it accentuates the glitter of the body spray you put on right before you left the house. reo is glad he has his hand stuck in his pocket, cause now he can quickly fix his hardening dick without making it suspicious - he gives himself a slight squeeze and clears his throat as you approach him.
you smell of coconut, and the scent overwhelms his senses as soon as you press yourself up against him - a giggle leaving your mouth as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in to press a wet kiss to his cheek. “pretty, pretty please? y’know i’ve never ever played it, and if i lose it’ll make me a loser, won’t it now, reo,” you babble on, a laugh leaving your mouth as his friend gives your nose a flick. he must’ve told you something amusing, reo supposes, but the both of you are drowned out as blood thuds in his ears - as it throbs in his pants, cock aching by how ridiculously hard it got at the feeling of you pressed up against him. he feels your tits as they squish against his chest, feels the rumble of your laughter, the flutter of your lashes against his neck-
“‘xcuse me,” he mumbles, hurriedly, and pries your arms off - earning a surprised look from you (and a cute drunken stumble). making his way through the crowd, the smell of spilled liquor and sweat and mixed perfume makes his head even dizzier, to the point that he’s stumbling into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind him.
one hand works on turning the lock while the other undoes the button of his plaid gray pants, a shaky groan slipping past his lips at the crumb of relieved tension. he dips a hand past the waistband of his boxers and pulls his throbbing cock out, thumb smearing the milky white pre-cum all around the reddened tip as he grabs onto the sink tightly for support.
“shit,” reo nearly whines at the image playing out in the very front of his mind. it’s almost like he can still inhale you, feel you as the heat of your body against his turns his legs to mush. he bites down on his lip, hard, in an attempt to quiet down the needy gasps that leave his mouth every so often, with every jerk of his hand. he tightens his grip on the porcelain, wrist flicking hurriedly and it makes him squeeze his eyes shut, strands of violet hair falling over his forehead as he groans quietly. please, pretty please, reo. it reverbs in his ears, but this time, it’s breathy, needy - as he imagines you giving him your prettiest wide eyes, tears sticking to your lashes, mascara running down your cheeks as he holds your thighs wide open, watching the way your pussy struggles to fit him in-
“ah- fuck, take it-” a mewl-like sound catches in his throat, toned abs spasming as white spills all over the bathroom sink. he struggles to catch his breath, hips needily thrusting into his hand as he rides out the high that leaves a loud ringing in his ears. throwing his head back, he groans softly as he feels the thick cum pool on his fingers, dripping down onto the pearly white porcelain - staining it with filth.
it takes him a breather to finally flutter his eyes open, the bring white light stinging the bloodshot orbs - and he hums to himself, softly, a sigh following soon after as his shoulders relax. he lets go of the edge of the sink and instead turns the faucet on, cleaning his hands off any filth and patting any residue off his cock with a paper towel in relative silence. a random tune booms through the speakers outside, but the bathroom door do their job mellowing it out as he cleans after himself, taking his time to fully come down his high.
the realization only hits him when he’s finished zipping his pants back up and about to fix his hair, glancing up at the mirror - and sees the red tint on his cheeks and blood clinging to the torn skin of his bottom lip, glossy eyes staring right back at him.
maybe he is a bit fucked up, after all.
you wake up in your bed the next morning, a glass of water along with a tablet of aspirin left on your bedside table. loser :p, the note stuck right next to it says, and you honestly wish you remembered what the little joke is about.
“this is so embarrassing,” you whine into your pillow a few hours later and reo chuckles under his breath at the way your legs kick out, body overcome with shame. “i can’t remember a thing! i don’t know what i was even doin’ most of the night,” you mumble, eyes almost teary as you pull your face away to give reo a discontented look. he hums softly, glancing over at you just for a split second before focusing back on the stocks on his phone screen.
“see, that’s why i told you not to drink this much.” he says matter-of-factly, “you’re lucky i was there. you never know who’s at the party with you, kiddo, so you need to stay aware at all times.”
now, reo has to admit that the sight of your eyes glazing over with tears, a subtle pout on your lips, shouldn’t be making him feel as hot as it does - and yet, he continues, and digs the hole underneath you even deeper.
“there’s many bad guys around and you know it,” he mumbles, lilac eyes momentarily catching yours. you gulp and pull your knees up towards your chest for comfort, tears of shame tingling at your lashes. “you’re a smart girl, after all, yeah?”
were the things he said true? definitely - especially for such pretty and sweet girls like you, too good for your own good. but were you really in any danger last night, with him keeping an eye on you the whole time (except for his little… getaway)? not really - but seeing the anxious expression on your face was worth it. sometimes, it made reo feel like he should just grab you by the shoulders and tell you that you had to grow up eventually, for your own safety and comfort. but then again, he doubted it’d even work anyway, and besides, the adrenaline rush he experienced each and every time he instilled a crumb of fear in your heart was just too good to let pass.
it does feel good to have you cling to him even tighter, after all, he figures as you climb on his lap weeks later asyou two hang out in the evening. your hair blocks his view of the game he’s watching, but it only takes a little squirming for you to get fully comfortable and allow him the full look on the tv screen.
“who’s playing today?” you chime in, leaning forward to grab a handful of popcorn. reo’s voice catches in his throat, unable to help the way his eyes cast down, to where your ass is pressing firmly against his crotch and thighs. the waistband of your shorts sticks away from your flesh, allowing him to take a peek of the thin elastic of your thong - bright purple, just like his eyes. it makes him shudder.
“real madrid and barcelona,” he mumbles, clearing his throat and his hand almost flies down to cup his growing bulge in a weak attempt to hide it. the idea dies down in his mind as soon as he realizes your full attention is on the screen, soft hums leaving your mouth every so often along with little comments about the play. you’re absolutely oblivious to his cock prodding at your bum, hard on pressing right against the fat cheeks and aching. some would say it’s embarrassing how quickly reo could stand to full alert, but honestly… who wouldn’t, right? he shifts in his seat, an arm reaching to rest on the backrest of your sofa. he tries, really fucking struggles to keep his eyes on the screen as well, but your small sounds of excitement or frustration make it near impossible. you fidget slightly,
“ah! it hit the pole,” you mumble, brows knit in focus and hands resting on top of reo’s knees, bare and bruised up from the hours of training. reo closes his eyes, deciding to try his luck - and he bucks his hips up, slowly, as to not scare you off his lap. instead, he’s met with silence - and he glances at you shortly, just to make sure.
he has just the perfect view of your back, skin smooth and glowy, and his hands itch to rest on the curve of your waist. experimentally, he places a hand on your side, and feels you shiver under his fingertips.
“your hands are cold,” you whine, but instead of pushing it off your bare skin, you do the thing he doesn’t even dare to dream of right now - you squirm. reo moves his other hand to his mouth, leaning back into the plush sofa as his hips do the very contrary and thrust up against you.
you don’t seem to acknowledge how uncomfortable the position generally is, how it should be for any other male friend whose lap would be occupied by you. instead, you lean forward slightly, hips rolling against reo’s crotch just slightly, and you sigh softly as you give his knees a gentle squeeze.
can you really be this oblivious? honestly, it’s hard to tell which thought makes him harden more - you just putting up a little facade and actually just teasing him by this point, or, which is more likely considering your sweet nature - you being truly, absolutely unaware of how your fidgeting was making his dick throb and ache. the sounds of the game are long forgotten, barely a haze in reo’s mind, as blood pumps in his ears and mouth salivates at both the sight and sensation on you almost bent over on his lap. he feels your dainty fingers tap against his knees mindlessly, or giving his flesh a gentle squeeze whenever you tense up in excitement over the match. he has to lean his head back, eyes closed and teeth nearly sinking into his hand as to not make a sound.
he rolls his hips up against your bum languidly, the friction sending sparks down his thighs, and it feels heavenly. he thinks of how your small hands will feel as they rest in the same exact place as now, but instead, they work as support when you lower yourself down on his cock. he wonders how you’d squeal if he grabbed at your ass, left his hand prints all over the soft flesh, setting a rhythm for you to ride him. for a second, it even occurs to him that maybe, just maybe, if he pushed himself to make a move, the little sleepover with your best friend really could end up with him splitting you open on his dick.
reo hears his breath hitch in his throat, the familiar tension in his abdomen growing stronger, and it urges him to grind against you just a bit faster. upon realizing that you really are absolutely oblivious to how he’s using you to get off, it seems like most of his limits broke loose. (it’s not like anything would happen if you ever did find out, though, right?) his cock throbs and pulses against the thin gray boxers, pre-cum already sticking to the material and it feels fucking disgusting, but so good. he tips over his climax, eventually, hips stuttering beneath you and just as he feels the first spurt of cum soak into the soft cotton, you let out a gasp, and jolt in his lap.
the sensation is enough to make reo’s eyes widen, a choked groan leaving his lips at the way your ass rubs down on him just perfectly, as if helping him ride his high out. his head feels airy as he listens to your little squeal of excitement mix with the sports announcer’s lively comments, the sound tuned out and barely a buzz in his ears. the sticky and thick cum pools in his boxers, and he wonders if you really cannot feel the obvious wetness through the material of his shorts.
you shift in your seat on his lap, ripping a groan from his throat at the way you press down against his overstimulated cock. turning around to give him a puzzled look upon the sound, the sight of your eyes wide and bright almost chokes reo up.
“you okay?” you ask, a hand reaching towards his face to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. you don’t seem to notice the way perspiration clings to his brows as you touch him.
he gives a nod, swallowing down the saliva that pooled in his mouth, before clearing his throat.
“yeah,” he speaks, and he’s surprised how collected he sounds for someone who had just creamed his pants. his eyes follow the screen, watching the player’s goal from a minute ago replay and it’s actually a little silly how lucky he is to get such a good cover, in fact, as he watches the camera zoom in on his favorite club’s goalkeeper and his sour expression. “just really want barca to win, s’all.”
reo gives up on the hope of you finally growing more self-aware anytime soon when a few more months pass and yet, you still don't notice how your panties would disappear from the hamper or how reo has to excuse himself from the room when you're around - only to come back minutes later, eyes glossed over.
you're starting to make it hard for him not to make a move, and he's honestly stunned that he went so long without finally having his way with you. hell, he even brings you along to the small weekend trip he's came up with, just before the new u20 squad was to be announced. the blue lock team deserves some relaxation before the season starts, even if it is barely a few days, and you do too, considering you had just finished your finals (on top of your class as always). and so, he brings you with him and the rest of the guys and their partners - who at first ask how long you two have been together and then give a surprised look when you laugh, oh! oh no, reo's like a brother to me, really! (something about his longing looks and the way he'd grab your hips tells them different, but oh well, that's not any of their business, right?) the sight of you in all the skimpy bikinis, skin glowing with the tanning oil and cheeks kissed by the sun might just be the breaking point - or at least, one of them, the other being you, going on a date with one of his teammates, and getting your little heart broken.
the sight of you on his doorstep, head hung low and soft little sniffles sounding through the rain outside, is a shock indeed - and reo only has it in himself to coo softly as you stumble right into his arms.
"hey- hey, what's goin' on?" he tries to pull you back from his chest, but the grip you have on his waist is surprisingly strong. instead, he reached for the handle and clicks the door shut, hands moving to rub up and down your arms afterwards. "what happened, bunny?"
your shoulders tremble once, nimble fingers tightening on the material of his white tee. "don' wanna talk," you mumble, and reo wraps his arms around your shoulders, lips pressing to the crown of your head soothingly.
"okay," he mumbles, breathing in the all too familiar scent of your shampoo mixing with the sweet, sticky coconut of your perfume. it brings him back to the frat party months earlier - and makes heat pool in his stomach, even now, as you're sniveling against his broad chest. "i'll run you a bath, okay? you'll get sick."
you don't have it in you to refuse, and in a span of an hour, you're already curled up in the middle of reo's bed, wearing a spare pair of your joggers and one of his sweaters. there's two half-empty cups of ginger tea on the bedside table, and you lay on your side, knees hugged to your chest as you ramble.
reo stares at your face as you speak in a hushed tone, propping his head up on his hand, the other busy with rubbing small circles into your hip. he knows it's bad, god, he knows it's fucked up, but he feels his abdomen tighten at the sight of crystal tears sticking to your lash line.
"and then i said..." you take in a breath, bottom lip jutted out. "said that i- i don't want to do it anymore. that maybe we shouldn't after all, so he got annoyed and tried to change my mind, but-" you cut your rambling off at the silence you're met with, eyes glancing up to check on reo's expression.
he's always been an attentive listener, but this time, the silence almost sounds different. the boy hums, and tugs you a little closer to him. "shouldn't do what?" he inquires; and if it wasn't for the tears smudging your vision, you would've noticed the way he swallows thickly.
you feel your cheeks heat up and scrunch your nose, shaking your head. "you know what, reo," you mumble and he has to force back a sly smile. you're so shy, and now also slightly shaken still from what happened mere two or three hours ago. "i told you already.."
you trail off, the topic clearly bringing you discomfort and yet, reo doesn't drop it entirely. you've grown used to him being so thorough in your conversations, but this time, it makes you fidget slightly.
of course he knows. god of course he does, and the thing keeps him awake some nights, especially after he's scored a goal or two and he has to blow off some steam.
reo's well aware that you've never been with a guy. you've kissed a few of them, yeah, sure. you could've even made out with them, had their tongues down your throat - but you were still innocent, in more ways than one. you were drop dead gorgeous, and yet, the way you would be absolutely oblivious to other guys advance's still hadn't changed one bit since you were barely a young teen. maybe that's why you've never had a man grope you, please you, ruin you - make you stumble over your own feet the morning after.
he's wonders if you've even ever thought of it - if you ever desired to be played with.
"i know," he chuckles slightly and dips his hand under the hem of the thick sweater draped over your waist. a thumb starts to smooth tiny circles across your flesh, mimicking the gesture from seconds before. "i know, bunny. but i've told you already, didn't i, how there's plenty bad guys around." he points out, hand giving your waist a slight squeeze upon feeling you tense up. "why didn't you tell me that you were meetin' someone, hm?"
you can't stand the intensity of reo's violet eyes boring into yours, and so you only give a slight shrug and avert your gaze, "i dunno, reo. just wanted to try something new." you admit, the words now sour on your tongue and you know that this'll be the last time you ever try to go out of your comfort zone for a long, long time. "everyone already did it. i stick out." you grumble, expression soft even as you frown.
your words don't leave him undisturbed - in fact, the expression on reo's face doesn't give out any of the things he's thinking about. if it did, he's sure his eyes would turn black with greed, and he'd most probably drool over the thought of him being the one you turned to instead-
oh.
"why didn't you just ask me?" reo sits up slightly, the arm used to support his head up now straightened. you look up at him, hand itching to brush the hair out of his face - something you seem to always do whenever he has his hair down - but the intensity of his gaze leaves you flustered enough to back down.
"ask you?" you squeak out. it's cute how shocked you sound, reo thinks.
"yeah, why not?" his hand moves further up, warmth resting on your ribs now, just barely below the swell of your breast. you're not wearing any bra - of course you aren't. it's not like you've ever thought of being the slightest bit embarrassed in front of him - not like you've ever noticed how he had to fix his boner at the glimpse of your nipples perking through the shirt you would wear at one of your sleepovers.
the feeling is so unfamiliar, it makes your head dizzy. you and reo have always been touchy with each other - but it's because you were best friends, and it was your way of keeping close, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. but now, as he looks at you with such intensity and pushes on the topic that brings you so much embarrassment, the touch seems out of place.
"you know that your first time is really important, right? you'll compare all of your next boyfriends to this," reo hums, giving your flesh a light squeeze. "s'why you have to be real careful who you're pickin' to be your very first, doll." eventually, he pushes himself up straight, and it feels like the air around you has thinned and finally, you could breathe free again.
"still- wouldn't that be... weird, if i asked you to?" you prop yourself up on your elbows and you're surprised you even managed to force the words out. your heart hammers inside your chest, "we're best friends..." you mumble, and reo shrugs - nonchalantly, as if the ache in his boxers wasn't driving him crazy.
"that's what best friends are for," he points out and reaches a hand towards your ankle, fingers gently skimming along the delicate skin. it makes you shiver and fidget slightly as he massages along your calf. "it's nothin' weird. i could just help you out, so you know what you like and how to make a guy feel good, yeah?" you roll your head to the side, face burning. this sounds insane - reo, your sweetest best friend that almost feels like an older brother to you, telling you how he can be your first. what's worse, no matter how uncanny it feels, it surprisingly doesn't raise any objections in your mind.
you must be silent for a short while, because soon he drums his fingers against your knee. (you didn't even notice when his hand moved upwards, and how good it feels.)
"hey, we don't have to," not now, at least. but god, it's getting so exhausting to hold himself back. "but it would be easier for you that way, bunny.. you trust me, don't you?" your heart pulls in your chest at the words, teeth sinking into your bottom lip and reo almost feels sorry for how he's messing with your head.
but honestly, he's not even trying to - after all, he's just saying the truth. if only you gave him the green light, he could show you so much. he knows you better than anyone else, better than any guy out there ever will. he could make you feel things you didn't know were even possible, pull sounds from you that would make you blush with embarrassment. all he needs is just a chance.
the quiet rustling of the sheets brings him back from the train of thoughts and the sight of you, legs slightly spread in front of him, eyes glossed over and cheeks reddened, is enough to choke him up.
"f'course i do," there's a slight whimper to your voice, breath soft as your chest heaves. "s-so, reo, please..."
a grunt catches in his throat as he grabs your ankles, gently, and pulls you towards him - hands immediately moving to roam up your middle. goosebumps rise along your skin, back arching slightly, and you glance up as reo wraps your legs around his hips.
"will make you feel good," he promises, breathily, as he leans down. you can see how blown his pupils are - the pretty violet barely a halo around the black by now. he licks his lips, gaze darting towards yours, but goes to vocalize his question anyway. "can i?"
you would've answered, but the close proximity between you two and the way you can feel reo's soft breath his your mouth makes you act before you can think. you lean in, lips pressing against his in a chaste kiss, and carefully cup his face in your hands.
reo moans into your mouth, shameless, and brings one large palm to rest back on your hip to grab at the soft flesh. you're so sweet, so gentle - treating him with reserve still, but it feels heavenly anyway. just the way he always imagined.
his tongue slips into your mouth, a surprised little sound muffled against his mouth, as he deepens the kiss languidly. your head spins at the feeling of reo's warm tongue, sliding against yours and lapping lazily, fingers lacing together at the nape of his neck. you're pulling him closer, ankles locking behind his hips as he presses himself against you.
there's a bashful mewl slipping past your lips as you feel reo's hard cock rut against your clothed core.
"you're so pretty," he breathes into the kiss, breaking it as he pulls away just slightly, enough to look at you. "see? you're makin' me feel so good, bunny, and we're just kissin'." he grabs your hips with both of his hands now, moving them against his crotch.
the feeling reminds you of when you'd touch your little pussy yourself - late night, under the covers, when the tension and warmth in your tummy would just get too much. but never, ever would you ever think that someone else rubbing at your sweet spots could feel this good. your clit throbs against the cotton of your sweats, and it's almost as if reo feels it at the way he grinds your hips against his harder.
"reo-" you gasp, hand grabbing at his bicep 'cause it's starting to feel like too much. his hands are firm and heavy, holding you against him and handling you however he likes - however he seems fit. it's good, but you have a feeling that it might get even better.
"i know," he coos, chuckling at the way your eyes flutter when he pulls away. he gives your - well, his - sweater a tug, "take it off for me, doll."
you give a small nod and quickly work on taking the clothing off, the air cold against your heated skin. you shiver slightly, both from the change in temperature and the way reo looks at you.
he sighs shakily, hands moving to rest on your waist before slowly moving up and grab at your breasts. you lull your head back into the pillows, the feeling of reo's warmth palms making you shudder. it's new - you've never had anyone touch you like that, ever - and makes warmth pool in your abdomen.
"fuck," you hear him whisper under his breath as he massages at the plush of your tits - fingers experimentally giving a pinch to one of your nipples. you whimper at the feeling, jolting slightly, "fuck, feel how they fit right in my hands?" he flexes his fingers on the flesh for emphasis. "like they were made f'me." a soft groan leaves his mouth, before he leans down and wraps it around your areola.
your eyes widen slightly at the tickling sensation, reo's tongue warm and heavy against your hard nipple, and your back's arching off the mattress before you can register it.
there's a hand slipping past the waistband of your sweatpants, rough fingertips skimming against the skin of your abdomen, just right above your pussy. your hips stutter and chest heaves, making reo moan out at how you stuff his face full with your tits. you're so fucking needy, and you don't even seem to notice. your body acts on it's own, natural and by instinct upon feeling so much pleasure all at once, and it makes his head spin.
he gently dips a finger between your folds, drawing a little circle against your hole and his breath hitches in his throat at the way wetness oozes right out. he pulls away from your chest, a thick ribbon of saliva connecting his reddened lips with your nipple, and looks up at you.
there's one of your forearms resting over your eyes, lips fallen apart as soft little moans slip past. you only pull your arm away from your face when his hand pushes your pants down and doesn't return to it's previous place between your thighs - instead, he taps his fingers on your lips.
you look up at him, eyes tentative, as he breathes out, "lick them for me, baby. so it doesn't hurt."
he knows damn well that you're wet enough to manage a finger or two, even if it is your very first time taking something longer and thicker than your dainty fingers - but the sight of you obediently parting your lips, tongue lolling out to lap at his digits before softly suckling is worth the lie.
reo feels his cock throb as he watches you, intently, as you circle your tongue around his fingers and struggle to fit them in your mouth past his second knuckle.
"good girl," he croons and gives his hard on a firm squeeze through his sweats, just a little something to relieve the painful pulse. your eyelashes flutter momentarily, blood rushing to your cheeks, and he can't help but push his fingers deeper.
you choke slightly, eyes squeezing shut at the sudden intrusion as you feel saliva pool in your mouth and dribble past the corner of your mouth.
"open your eyes," you can barely hear reo speak over your quiet choking. "look at me."
you force your eyes back open, vision blurry with tears as you try to catch eye-contact. tears pool at your lash line as finally, he retracts his fingers from your mouth and pulls his hand away entirely, satisfied.
you sputter, gasping for air, and feel reo's other hand rest on your cheek. he wipes your tears away with a thumb, cups your face in his palm gently and sighs.
"see- that's what other boys would do if they saw you like that," he soothes, voice warm as usual and it brings contrast to his words. "s'why you have to be careful, bunny. don't want anyone to be rough with you, don't you?"
you shake your head quickly, throat still burning and scratchy as you look up. he really does look almost worried, with his eyes soft and focused on you entirely - but it almost seems like there's a haze behind the lilac.
you don't dwell on it too much, 'cause there's already a finger rubbing against your slit again, and this time it slips right in. the sensation isn't entirely new to you - you've played with yourself before, after all - but reo's fingers are so much thicker and longer than yours, feel so rough, and seem to press against your sweet spot almost instantly. you moan sweetly, hips bucking against his hands involuntarily as his fingertip rubs against the front of your pussy. it tightens around his finger, makes him dip it even deeper.
"right there?" he asks breathily, watching as your face contorts with pleasure, and it's enough of an answer. your tummy spasms slightly as you suck in a breath, hips starting to grind against his hand. there's another finger prodding at your entrance, teasingly, before slipping right in next to the other. "wanna see if you can handle two."
there's a slight stretch and burn as you try to accommodate to the girth of reo's fingers, much wider than anything you've ever played with and it is giving you a small struggle. you whimper and shift your hips, hand moving to push at his wrist instinctively.
"can't," you moan out, swallowing thickly as reo gives you a look - almost disappointed, yet intrigued at the same time.
"you've never had anything other than your fingers playing with this little pussy, didn't you?" it comes out as a slight groan, and you turn your head to the side to avoid his gaze. even as you act so sheepish, the slick that coats reo's fingers tell him enough - you're enjoying this.
you're getting off on listening to your best friend talk so sweetly about your pussy, playing with your body how he pleases.
you gulp heavily as you feel his weight shift on the bed, one arm resting across your abdomen and pinning you down firmly. and then, you feel a hot breath fan across your wet cunt, throbbing and creaming for attention, before he takes a long lick up your clit.
your hands grab at reo's hair, fingers tightening to tug and it vibrates against your pussy as he groans. "fuck," you whimper, and he chuckles breathlessly.
"watch your mouth," he muses, humored, before wrapping his lips around your throbbing little clit.
your eyes roll backwards, head pushing into the pillows and you have to bite back a cry at the overwhelming pleasure that seems to hit you all at once. it makes your muscles tremble and head spin how reo seems to work the same exact spot with both his fingers, massaging and thrusting inside, and his tongue, messily and hungrily slurping away. your hips stutter, but don't lift off the bed whatsoever as he keeps them stuck to the mattress with his arm, whining against your heat.
"you can- you can tug," he breathes, purple eyes glancing up at you as he knows exactly what you'll do - give him a little puzzled look, as if to ask you sure, reo? - and moans as his gaze meets yours. you look entirely fucked out already, spit wet on your lips and face pink, eyes wide and needy. he wonders if he looks just as filthy right now, hips rutting into the sheets and soaking his sweats with pre-cum and with his face stuffed in your pussy, devouring you as if he was starved.
he just might be, after years of trying to control himself.
he feels your fingers give a sharp pull at his hair, then push his mouth right back against you until his nose nudges against your groomed mound. it starts to get hard to breathe, he realizes, but you taste just to sweet - almost like honey, thick and sticky on his tongue as he suckles and licks and nibbles, soft little hums and whines buzzing against your twitching pussy.
you feel your back nearly stick to the sheets, thighs trembling against his head as you feel the strange sensation creep up - your muscles tense up as reo's hand presses on your lower abdomen, firmly, a breathy sigh hot on your clit. your eyes widen slightly and you jolt,
"aah- stop- reo, stop," you babble, tongue heavy in your mouth and head hazy from pleasure, but you have to go. embarrassment is dense on your mind as you push at his head, breath picking up and hips bucking up involuntarily. "please, please reo, it feels - ngh- feels funny." you don't realize there's big, fat tears running down your temples now, clear streaks streaming down the heated skin as your voice cracks.
why isn't he stopping?
you choke back a sob, the pleasure white hot in your veins as he groans and pulls back just slightly, enough to speak, "fuck, cum for me. cum on my face, baby." he sounds desperate - looks just the same, too, as you glance at him and the way he works his fingers in and out of your tight heat, fluttering and tightening. big, needy eyes stare up at you, bangs held back by your hand as your fingers pull at the hair, and he lolls his tongue out, grinding it against your clit messily.
you throw your head back, eyes unfocused, as it hits you like a heavy rainfall. the pleasure comes in waves, muscles taut and shaking as your back arches and quiet little cries slip out of your mouth - almost like a chant, and nothing like the sounds all of the other girls made, reo realizes. you sound so, so much prettier. perfect and sweet as you grind against his hungry mouth, cream oozing onto his tongue and juices spilling on his chin. he nearly whimpers, hips rolling against the bed and it takes all of his self restraint not to cum in his pants, too, at the sight of you trembling in his grasp.
the pleasure leaves your limbs warm and fuzzy, a soft buzz in your ears as your climax slowly dies down - but you realize that reo doesn't let up, fingers now having dropped their pace, but tongue still flicking against your oversensitive heat. you whine, swallowing back tears and pulling his mouth away, tugging at the roots of violet hair.
"reo," you sound broken enough, he thinks, and so he gives your clit a last kiss, the smack sounding so obscene it makes you close your eyes in shame. he eases his fingers out of you and gives the inside of your thigh a little peck as well before sitting back on his heels, breathing heavy as he takes you in.
you struggle to catch your breath properly, hair sticking to wet cheeks as you swallow thickly and grab at the sheets - as if you wanted to tug them over your body, cover yourself from his stare and the realization that sits heavy on your mind. reo sighs, nearly dreamily, and sucks your juices right off his fingers as you watch - too exhausted to show any sign of shame.
"m'gonna have you ride my face next time, okay?" he breathes out, giving your hip a squeeze - and before you let his words settle in, you're already nodding along, a soft little whimper leaving your mouth in agreement. it makes his cock jump in his boxers, the way you're so compliant and don't seem to realize the weight of his words.
if only he had known you'd be so easy to convince, he would've made a move a long time ago already, reo thinks to himself as he pulls you up for a kiss. grabbing your wrist to push your hand behind the waistband of his boxers, he drinks up the little moans that slip out your mouth, needy and sweet, nearly enough to make his teeth rot.
reo is so content he's met you, even if it took him long years to realize that your innocence and purity are actually the very thing he needs and wants.
and yeah, you're still different than the other girls - but you're just as oblivious with the way you don't notice his phone propped up on the nightstand.
reblogs are greatly appreciated ! :)
© itoshi-s. do not plagiarize, repost as your own or mention on other sm platforms.
#LETS GOOOOO 10k words ??????? what the hell#didn't know i had it in me tbh#thx nonnie for the wonderfuuuul idea !!#as i said .. reo's a switch//sub first and foremost BUT#the only exception is if he's a sleaze <3#✧˚ · . bllk#blue lock smut#bllk smut#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#reo mikage#mikage reo#reo mikage x reader#reo mikage x you#reo mikage smut#mikage reo smut#mikage reo x you#mikage reo x reader#blue lock#bllk
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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Retirement and How to Retire
How to start saving for retirement
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.
Season 4, Episode 5: “401(k)s Aren’t Offered in My Industry. How Do I Save for Retirement if My Employer Won’t Help?”
How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment
Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff
Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds
The Financial Order of Operations: 10 Great Money Choices for Every Stage of Life
Advanced retirement moves
How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover
The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting
Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”
You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan
Season 4, Episode 8: “I’m Queer, and Want To Find an Affordable Place To Retire. How Do I Balance Safety With Cost of Living?”
How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?
Ask the Bitches: “Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?”
From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings
Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?”
Speaking of advanced money moves, make sure you’re not funneling money to The Man through unnecessary account fees. Roll over your old retirement accounts FO’ FREE with our partner Capitalize:
Roll over your retirement fund with Capitalize
Investing for the long term
When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation
Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not
Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA
Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds
Wait… Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market?
Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE)
The FIRE Movement, Explained
Your Girl Is Officially Retiring at 35 Years Old
The Real Story of How I Paid off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years
My First 6 Months of Early Retirement Sucked Shit: What They Don’t Tell You about FIRE
Bitchtastic Book Review: Tanja Hester on Early Retirement, Privilege, and Her Book, Work Optional
Earning Her First $100K: An Interview with Tori Dunlap
We’ll periodically update this list with new links as we continue writing about retirement. And by “periodically,” we mean “when we remember to do it.” Maybe remind us, ok? It takes a village.
Contribute to our staff’s retirement!
Holy Justin Baldoni that’s a lot of lengthy, well-researched, thoughtful articles on the subject of retirement. It sure took a lot of time and effort to finely craft all them words over the last five years!
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#retirement#retire#how to retire#retirement account#retirement fund#retirement funds#401k#403b#Roth IRA#Traditional IRA#investing#investors#investing in stocks#Capitalize#401k rollover#personal finance#money tips
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back to basics
mostly free resources to help you learn the basics that i've gathered for myself so far that i think are cool
everyday
gcfglobal - about the internet, online safety and for kids, life skills like applying for jobs, career planning, resume writing, online learning, today's skills like 3d printing, photoshop, smartphone basics, microsoft office apps, and mac friendly. they have core skills like reading, math, science, language learning - some topics are sparse so hopefully they keep adding things on. great site to start off on learning.
handsonbanking - learn about finances. after highschool, credit, banking, investing, money management, debt, goal setting, loans, cars, small businesses, military, insurance, retirement, etc.
bbc - learning for all ages. primary to adult. arts, history, science, math, reading, english, french, all the way to functional and vocational skills for adults as well, great site!
education.ket - workplace essential skills
general education
mathsgenie - GCSE revision, grade 1-9, math stages 1-14, provides more resources! completely free.
khan academy - pre-k to college, life skills, test prep (sats, mcat, etc), get ready courses, AP, partner courses like NASA, etc. so much more!
aleks - k-12 + higher ed learning program. adapts to each student.
biology4kids - learn biology
cosmos4kids - learn astronomy basics
chem4kids - learn chemistry
physics4kids - learn physics
numbernut - math basics (arithmetic, fractions and decimals, roots and exponents, prealgebra)
education.ket - primary to adult. includes highschool equivalent test prep, the core skills. they have a free resource library and they sell workbooks. they have one on work-life essentials (high demand career sectors + soft skills)
youtube channels
the organic chemistry tutor
khanacademy
crashcourse
tabletclassmath
2minmaths
kevinmathscience
professor leonard
greenemath
mathantics
3blue1brown
literacy
readworks - reading comprehension, build background knowledge, grow your vocabulary, strengthen strategic reading
chompchomp - grammar knowledge
tutors
not the "free resource" part of this post but sometimes we forget we can be tutored especially as an adult. just because we don't have formal education does not mean we can't get 1:1 teaching! please do you research and don't be afraid to try out different tutors. and remember you're not dumb just because someone's teaching style doesn't match up with your learning style.
cambridge coaching - medical school, mba and business, law school, graduate, college academics, high school and college process, middle school and high school admissions
preply - language tutoring. affordable!
revolutionprep - math, science, english, history, computer science (ap, html/css, java, python c++), foreign languages (german, korean, french, italian, spanish, japanese, chinese, esl)
varsity tutors - k-5 subjects, ap, test prep, languages, math, science & engineering, coding, homeschool, college essays, essay editing, etc
chegg - biology, business, engineering/computer science, math, homework help, textbook support, rent and buying books
learn to be - k-12 subjects
for languages
lingq - app. created by steve kaufmann, a polygot (fluent in 20+ languages) an amazing language learning platform that compiles content in 20+ languages like podcasts, graded readers, story times, vlogs, radio, books, the feature to put in your own books! immersion, comprehensible input.
flexiclasses - option to study abroad, resources to learn, mandarin, cantonese, japanese, vietnamese, korean, italian, russian, taiwanese hokkien, shanghainese.
fluentin3months - bootcamp, consultation available, languages: spanish, french, korean, german, chinese, japanese, russian, italian.
fluenz - spanish immersion both online and in person - intensive.
pimsleur - not tutoring** online learning using apps and their method. up to 50 languages, free trial available.
incase time has passed since i last posted this, check on the original post (not the reblogs) to see if i updated link or added new resources. i think i want to add laguage resources at some point too but until then, happy learning!!
#study#education resources#resources#learning#language learning#math#english languages#languages#japanese#mandarin#arabic#italian#computer science#wed design#coding#codeblr#fluency#online learning#learn#digital learning#education#studyinspo#study resources#educate yourselves#self improvement#mathematics#mathblr#resource
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Here are the parts that make it sound like you think they are inferior to you:
almost every conversation topic revolved around gossip. Not necessarily the mean kind, but two-thirds of their discussions were about other people - mainly other kids at school - whom I didn't know. The remaining third was pop culture and complaining about homework. public schoolers seemed to dismiss socializing with kids who couldn't relate to the things immediately relevant to their personal lives (if you couldn't gossip or talk pop culture, what else was there to talk about with you?) Public schoolers were by far the most exclusionary in their social habits on average, in my experience. many public school kids have only surface-level conversation skills, but their social shortcomings are instead blamed on homeschooled kids' "inability to relate" Not everyone agrees that having your individuality crushed by relentless peer pressure for the sake of relating better to peers is a good trade-off. they had no idea how to talk to someone they didn't know and existed outside the school hivemind
Now maybe I am projecting, but if I were being accused personally of almost only being able to gossip, unable to relate to anyone outside my immediate existence, being exclusionary, only having surface-level conversation skills, allowing my individuality to crushed, and having no clue how to talk to someone outside my "hivemind," I struggle to see how I would take any of that as neutral or non-judgmental. I also cannot imagine how I would think that the person saying these things--who apparently did not see any of these attributes in themselves--would not see themselves as superior for lacking these attributes. But perhaps these failures in my imagination are themselves because I went to a public high school? If I had been homeschooled longer than I was, would I have the intellectual power to see how this is not condescending?
In addition to all that, consider the simple fact that you are saying that you were made to feel socially dysfunctional, and being made to feel socially dysfunctional has had a negative impact on you, and you are now arguing that actually it is the others who are socially dysfunctional, and you don't see how framing other people as socially dysfunctional, which caused you pain, would cause them pain?
If someone telling you that you are bad at socializing made you feel bad, how would you flipping the tables not be seen in exactly the same way by the people you are framing in the very way that hurt you?
And finally, public school kids are "standard" in the way that any majority is "standard." It doesn't mean better. Think of it like a distribution curve, maybe you and your homeschooled peers are on the advanced outskirts of that bell curve and your superior talents have rendered the ignorant masses disappointing and inaccessible to you, and they themselves fear and hate what they cannot understand, but for your superiority you'd still be a couple standards of deviation outside "normal." Maybe in the conversations you're having "normal" means "ideal" but it certainly doesn't have to mean that.
Whether it is feasible or even possible to raise the entire society to your standard is another conversation entirely.
I've also recently seen comments from conventionally schooled people who felt like the homeschoolers they met were socially ill-adept because they were not good at "relating to their peers."
Allow me to share some inside perspective as someone who was home schooled, and what that looked like from my side:
I had a great social circle in high school with friends from different schooling backgrounds, but I routinely found publicly schooled kids to be the hardest to socialize with in unfamiliar situations (e.g. a family friend's party, church youth group, etc.).
I'm sure it seemed to them like I had nothing to say and was overly quiet, but from my perspective, almost every conversation topic revolved around gossip. Not necessarily the mean kind, but two-thirds of their discussions were about other people - mainly other kids at school - whom I didn't know. The remaining third was pop culture and complaining about homework. It made it difficult for me to contribute to conversations, and they would quickly lose interest in talking to me once they realized that.
I don't know why, but many of the public schoolers seemed to dismiss socializing with kids who couldn't relate to the things immediately relevant to their personal lives (if you couldn't gossip or talk pop culture, what else was there to talk about with you?). I didn't have that issue with most private school or homeschool kids. Public schoolers were by far the most exclusionary in their social habits on average, in my experience.
Maybe I'm just on crack with this theory, but sometimes I wonder if the "socially awkward homeschooler" stereotype that's so prevalent in public school circles, isn't at least partially because many public school kids have only surface-level conversation skills, but their social shortcomings are instead blamed on homeschooled kids' "inability to relate".
#i somewhat doubt if it is all as you say that you've lost much not being able to socialize with them anyway#i am curious though I fear to learn who thinks public schooling is 'ideal'#my wife is a public school teacher and i've known a few public school teachers#everyone i've ever known who has anything to do with public school thinks it's a nightmare#but also#by virtue of the things they see#they often do not trust parents to homeschool#here is a defect in homeschoolers' imaginations that I think I detect#because your parents love you enough to invest in you like that#and because they have the resources to do it#you think it's normal#it's not normal#you're not normal#it is rare and so are you#most peoples' parents can't and won't do it#a lot of public school teachers see it as a question of public school or starvation#public school or prison#there are no good options#how to 'fix it' so everyone is in a home with the love and material resources to homeschool#however ideal such a system would be#very difficult to imagine how to implement that#in this any many other things there is what is and what should be#you probably are better than they are in every measurable way and good luck doing anything about it
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tags: f2 alpine oscar x mark webber's daughter
warnings: daddy issues?? poor father-daughter relationship, jealousy
Anyone but webber - Oscar Piastri
Rule 2: Don't avoid your problems, face them
For the next few months, she finds just about every excuse to not see Oscar. She’ll leave the house if she knows Oscar is coming around, walk in the opposite direction of him if she sees him at the fair and few races she does attend, actively doesn’t follow him while still viewing each of his posts.
It’s anything to try and compress that crush on him, because lord knows if she does allow herself to openly like him like she wishes she could- it’ll end abysmally, likely in tears. Either she’ll find out Oscar feels quite literally nothing towards her, or her father will somehow get inbetween them, and it’ll just be awful and uncomfortable.
That’s not to say she doesn’t miss their interactions though. Sometimes, her dad borderline forces her to talk to Oscar, and each time, it just feels so right. He’s so nice, and he’s funny, and he’s just everything. In any other situation, she would’ve made the first move a while ago- but it’s just not meant to be, and she knows that.
She hates when he waves at her from across the garage, or smiles at her while he’s deep in conversation with her dad, because it just makes everything harder on her. Her dad tries to bring up Oscar during their dinner talks around the table and she consistently shuts down the topic of him which leaves them in complete silence.
Because if Mark can’t talk about Oscar, he just won’t talk at all.
So by avoiding Oscar, she loses 2 people- Oscar himself, and her own father.
What a fucking shit situation.
It’s a few months after the first initial dinner with the three of them that Oscar is invited over for a second one. After a lot of debating with herself, she decides not to stick around to see him. She makes up some excuse about having pre-existing plans to catch up with some friends from secondary school that she plans to tell her dad, until she realises he’s not going to care anyways. He doesn’t need a huge explanation for her, because if anything, he’ll be celebrating some time to talk on Oscar one on one, so she settles with just saying that she’ll be out for the night.
When she does tell him, he gives her a tight smile, telling her to go have fun and to stay safe. She doesn’t hear the end of whatever he’s saying because she’s already out the door, and he doesn’t take notice to it anyways- too engrossed in his work.
As much as she’s bummed that she won’t be seeing Oscar tonight, she already knows that as long as her dad is around to be invested in their conversations- it’s not going to be anything overwhelmingly enjoyable for her.
Sure, he’s very pleasant to look at and is someone she definitely enjoys being around, she’d rather hangout with him if it’s just the two of them. If she’s given the option to tag along with the two men- she’ll just skip it. it’s enough to see him at the occasional races she tags along at, or the few times he appears on her explore page or timeline.
Truly though if it was up to her, she’d gladly see him far more often- away from her father, and just able to speak to him for hours on end, but he simply doesn’t have the free time for that, nor would he likely want to, so she settles for pixels on a screen and his prerecorded voice.
Her night dies pretty young as the dinner with her friends ends earlier than expected, and she can’t really be bothered all too much to stay out drinking for much longer, so she signs off for the night and makes her way home. The living room lights are clearly still on as she stops in front of their house, which means her dad is still up.
If he’s still up, Oscar’s still here. Maybe, hopefully, her dad is all talked out and has retreated to bed by this point, leaving Oscar for her to talk to for a while, maybe. It’s an unlikely maybe though, because Mark Webber isn’t one for getting tired of talking, especially when the topic is Oscar or involves Oscar in some way.
Her key slips into the keyhole, rattling around a few times before the door clicks open. Sure enough, that familiar woody and peppery scent fills her senses, and the view of Oscar follows soon after. He looks so domestic, rugged up in a thick alpine hoodie. Differing shades of light and dark blue especially flattering his features.
“Hey Oscar,” She leans against the door frame, slightly celebrating when she notices her dad isn’t present in the room. She kicks of her shoes, nudging them across the floor into the corner of the room.
“Hey Spider,” He grins, already using her nickname on their maybe 5th time meeting. She’s given up on telling him to not call her that, because at this point, it’s growing on. It’s so familiar, so intimate and endearing.
“Mark told me you were out tonight, ended early?” Mark, it’s better than referring to him as ‘your dad’, it takes away some of the awkward shame she gets that she has a crush on her father’s employee.
Because that still just feels a thousand degrees of wrong.
There’s a beer can right in front of him, dripping condensation onto their wooden table. There’s not a coaster in sight and she would bet a hundred dollars that Mark assured him it was fine if he just ‘leaves the drink there,’ and ‘don’t worry about a coaster’. Whereas she would’ve been scolded over and over for ‘ruining’ the wood.
Oscar has about every privilege from Mark that she never gets. He can’t make a mistake in her dad’s eyes, but that’s all she ever does.
“Yeaaah, just feeling kinda tired” Her fingers clasp on the zipper of her jacket, pulling it down. She shrugs it off, hanging it on the hook on the back of the door. “Also figured I’d enjoy talking to you for a bit if you were still here,”
When she looks back up at him, he’s holding a tight stare at her. He’s smiling a little, the corners of his pale lips twisted into a stupidly cute grin. “I’m honoured you’d choose me to talk to,” He shuffles around in the armchair, picking up the beer can just to have something to fiddle with. “I think your dad is upstairs, doing some organisational things for next season. Thought it was just gonna be me for a while- so,” He swallows, the muscles of his thick neck flexing hard, “Thanks for coming back early,”
She takes a seat on the couch next to the chair he’s in, leaning towards him as her elbow rests on the arm of it. “I clearly just sensed you were lonely and tipsy,” She shrugs, watching him take a tensed sip of his beer.
“Not tipsy, not tipsy at all,” He defends, shaking his head as he places it back down in front of him. “I’ve had about 3 sips over the course of 2 hour. Not a huge beer person, was more just to be polite to Mark,” His cheeks are decorated in a rosy flush, either from the cold or, the beer- or most hopefully, from speaking to her.
She’s often too hopeful for her own good.
“I’ll finish it for you if you really don’t want it,” She offers, watching him slide it towards her almost instantaneously. “Thanks,” It’s warmer than she’d usually like to drink beer, but the especially warm feeling on the spout where his lips had previously been sends stupid, lovestick excitement through her already slightly inebriated body.
It’s kind of like they’re kissing, kinda.
God, that’s such a childish crush thought.
His mouth open slightly to allow his tongue to nudge out, dampening his lips, “Where’d you go tonight?” He asks, his fingers nudging into the ridges of a throw pillow under his arm, distracting his hands now that he doesn’t have the can for that.
“Just some bar,” Her tongue rolls around along the inside of her cheek, an oral fixation to keep her occupied. “Nothing fancy or anything, probably more boring than your night,” He flushes at her tease, his jaw pushing forward to conceal the grin on his face somewhat.
“I doubt that. I love racing, but the actual logistics of everything I have to do, that's not actually just driving… not as glamorous.” He purses his lips, his teeth gritting like he’s desperately trying to think something through. “I was sorta hoping you’d be here tonight,”
It sets off fireworks in her stomach, a burning sensation from her scalp down to the tips of her toes. It’s like finding out your middle school crush likes you back, or kissing some cute boy during a game of spin the bottle. It’s not much, just a casual and meaningless arrangement or words, yet it’s enough to get her all flustered and awkward.
“I came home early just to see you, if that means anything,” She pours the rest of the liquid courage down her throat, gagging at the lukewarm bitterness. It tastes awful, but anything to get her to force that confession out into the world is worth it.
He doesn’t reply for a few moments, just stares blankly ahead at her. His eyes seem to burn holes into her, like he can see past the confident facade she puts up. Like he sees her. She’s not his boss's daughter, she’s not some paddock girl, she’s.. she’s her own person.
In the seconds following, Oscar’s gaze doesn’t falter once. There’s a moment where if feels like nothing in the world exists outside of the cozy living room, that they’re completely isolated from anything beyond themselves.
It’s strange to think her dad and his boss is quite literally tapping away on a computer upstairs, just out of ears reach.
Her lips feel awkwardly dry, so she fumbles around with her hand in her pocket, grabbing out a lipbalm. She smears it across her mouth, just staring at Oscar as he looks back at her. They don’t say a word, not sure where to go from here. There’s not necessarily any regret she feels from what she said to him, but it would be a whole lot easier if he would just say something in response.
After what feels like an eternity, he finally breaks the silence, his voice soft and a little hesitant. “It does,” He nods, that stupidly endearing little smirk on his face. He’s just so stupid, stupidly perfect, stupidly cute, stupidly not allowed to be hers. “It does mean something,”
His smile widens, his bunny teeth just slightly more apparent. She thinks they’re just about the cutest thing about him. “I’m glad you came back, I was hoping we’d finally get the chance to talk,” He gestures vaguely with his hands, and she’s come to notice how charasmatic he is with his hand movements when he’s speaking, “You know, outside of the racing scene.”
He pauses for a moment, his words stuck on the end of his tongue, “Without your dad around,”
This is a moment she’s forced herself not to think about ever since the first time she properly met Oscar. She’s forced her crush on him to the deepest depths of herself for so long. So now that it’s happening, she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do. Does she lean in? does she kiss him? Who makes the first move?
Those questions stop as before another one can procure in her mind, Oscar’s stood up from his chair and moved onto the couch. The space between them isn’t even the smallest it’s ever been, but, god, he feels so close.
Oscar’s eyes flicker down to her lips for a moment, and she’s so grateful she put on that lipbalm on just before this. She wonders what his lips would look like if they kissed, if her pink and glossy lipbalm would get on his lips- hard cold evidence of what they did together.
Her breath catches in her throat as his eyes meet hers once again, “What happens next?” His voice is low, like they’re sharing a secret. It is in a way, no one can ever know about this. It’s going to be their precious little secret, something they’ll smile about when their eyes meet in the paddock, that they’ll get rosy cheeked over at dinner when their fingertips touch.
The words are on the very tip of her tongue, ‘just kiss me’, her brain is begging her to just get out with it, blurt it out. There’s something in the way he’s looking at her, verging on depraved, like he’s waiting for her to be the one to make the first move.
She bites the bullet, taking control over the situation, “I think we stop pretending this is just friendly,” She conceals the shake in her voice, “And we stop worrying about my dad being a factor in this,”
Oscar’s eyes light up at her words, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. It’s like he’s been waiting for her to say that, and now that she has, there’s no turning back. “I like that idea,” he leans in closer, his breath warm against her cheek.
last chapter, next chapter
sorry for the cliffhanger!! but i hope u guys liked this chapter and i've already started chapter3, so you wont be waiting too long
taglist: @prettiest-at-the-party, @forza-charles, @sltwins, @sweetwh0re, @lucktales
#oscar#oscar piastri#mark webber#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#f1#formula1#formula one#mclaren#lando norris#f1 2024#fernandopiastri28
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i've seen some people in the batman fandom look (very reasonably) at this rich mans "crusade" against crime and be like he's selfish and self important and it would be much better if he invested in infrastructure. but
have you considered the funnier and more ridiculous option that he has? imagine that all of gothams schools are funded by the wayne foundation to ensure a certain quality of life and education even for the poorest kids. they have free daycares and free clinics and free pantries....but all the craziest villains in the country still flock to Gotham because of...vibes?
Bruce is trying everything and he's so confused why everything that works everywhere else just WON'T work here. Gotham becomes a global statistical anomaly, baffling social scientists everywhere.
#all of batmans villains are too extravagant to be doing this on a budget#batmans rogue gallery is essentially a bunch of rich people with too much free time and not enough therapy#he starts all the programs after dick and jason give him an earful about how the only way to solve crime is to solve poverty#and so he's like bet#and yeah it reduces the number of goons and thugs and minions per villain#but the villains are still there because this is just their favorite hobby#batman#batman rogues#batfam#batfamily
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Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Summary: Conflict arises with Harris's new teacher, filling Halloween with more tricks than treats. But it's nothing a visit with Ms. Sweetheart can't fix.
Warnings: allusion to Reader and Eddie's one-night stand, panic attack, Reader's grandma has dementia.
WC: 5.6k
Chapter 6/20
Scruffy!Eddie edit credit to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple Divider credit to @saradika
Guns N’ Roses t-shirt: check. Goodwill jeans with makeshift holes in the knees: check. Bandana tied snugly around his forehead: check. Arms littered with an assortment of temporary tattoos: check.
Eddie grins as he assesses his son’s costume, reaching into the thrift store bag as he pulls out the pièce de résistance: a denim jacket, only two sizes bigger than Harris would usually wear. It was a bit over what he’d been hoping to spend, but he’d reasoned with himself that it could also be worn after Halloween. It was an investment, he’d decided, not a splurge.
His smile falters when Harris indignantly stomps his foot, crossing his arms over his chest. While Eddie had hoped his son would go with more badass tattoo options, perhaps a skull and crossbones or even a snake, he had insisted on a Sesame Street theme. Cookie Monster munches on his signature treat as Harris pouts.
“No, Daddy!” he whines, twisting away when Eddie holds the jacket closer to him. “I can’t wear that!”
“C’mon, Har,” he tries, scouring his brain to come up with a convincing enough lie. “Axl Rose wore jackets all the time!”
Harris doesn’t just shake his head; he swivels his entire body back and forth in protest. “I don’t care! No one’s gonna be able to see my tattoos!” He holds out both arms in front of him; nearly every square inch (besides the section blocked by his cast) is covered. Eddie had spent most of last night diligently applying them precisely where Harris had asked, lest there be a tantrum. There was, unfortunately, a headless Elmo from when Harris had asked–no, demanded–that he try by himself. Still, Eddie figured that only one casualty was a win.
“Those are some sweet ol’ tatties,” Eddie muses, biting back a laugh at the two-dimensional Big Bird on his son’s forearm. “But wouldn’t it be cool if you wore the jacket into school and then–BAM!--took it off and surprised everyone with them?
Harris appears to consider this, mouth tucked into his cheeks. “Can I show Ms. Sweetheart?”
“Sure, bud. We’ll stop by her classroom when I pick you up.” Whatever gets us out of the house in weather-appropriate attire. “But first, show me your most metal pose.”
The boy opens his mouth wide and sticks out his tongue as far as it extends, scrunching his face dramatically until the corners of his eyes crinkle. His middle and ring fingers press into his palm, thumb crossing over them, with his forefinger and pinky raised in the quintessential rock ‘n roll symbol.
Eddie swoops down and smacks a wet kiss to Harris’s cheek. “That’s my boy!”
Standing among the crowd of parents at pick-up, Eddie opts out of making banal small talk and instead chooses to look at the bulletin board. The previous art project that had been hanging against the faded blue paper–”self-portraits” that the students had made on the first day of school–have been replaced by finger paintings of orange blobs that vaguely resemble pumpkins. There wasn’t one for Harris because he was in Ms. Sweetheart’s classroom then, so it’s his first art project in his new class. He eagerly scans the board for Harris’s, frowning when he can’t find his name.
Maybe it’s still drying, he tries to convince himself, imagining his son over-saturating the paper with globs of paint. It wouldn’t be entirely out of character.
Ms. Marion’s classroom is a sea of costumed children. A boy dressed as one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stands by his mom. A Cinderella, a black cat, and a Thomas the Tank Engine surround Ms. Paula. As soon as Eddie spots Harris, he smiles and waves him over, hurriedly scribbling his signature on the sign-out sheet.
He expects Harris to zoom past the other kids, fueled by the standard Halloween diet of sugar and chocolate, but he just kind of…mopes to the doorway. His shoulders slump dejectedly, and though he keeps his gaze low, Eddie can still see the film of mist staining his innocent eyes.
“Har, what’s wrong?” He waits for an answer, and when he doesn’t receive one–an oddity for his perpetually chatty son–he tries a new tactic. “Wanna show me where your artwork is? I must be gettin’ old, because I couldn’t find it on the board out there.”
“‘S not there,” Harris mumbles, scratching off a flaking piece of the Rosita tattoo on the back of his hand. “I didn’t get to finish.”
Eddie watches as the tears start to slip down his cheeks, and he brings him into the hallway before Ms. Marion or Ms. Paula sees what’s going on. He can’t be certain, but his paternal instincts tell him that they’ve contributed to Harris’s sad state. “Why not?”
“I-I t-tried, but M-Ms. Mar-Marion and Ms. P-Paula got m-mad at me.” The words come out between choked sobs. “‘C-Cuz I c-couldn’t sit d-down.”
“What do you mean?”
“I k-keeped st-standing up, ‘cuz m-my legs wanted to st-stand.” The explanation tumbles out of him so quickly, as though he’s trying to beat the clock. “And they s-said if I did-didn’t sit down, I c-couldn’t do art. But I k-keeped f-f-forgetting, and th-they t-taked away my pay-pay-paper and said, ‘sit in the c-corner!’”
Eddie’s breath hitches, and he has to clear his throat before speaking again. “Did…did that happen in Ms. Sweetheart’s class? The legs thing?”
“Mhm,” Harris manages, “b-but she let me stand and d-do ju-jumps to get the wig-wiggles out. She just t-t-telled me not to do ju-jumps with s-s-scissors, ‘cuz of s-safety.” His breathing increases to a rapid pace, face flushing red as his chest heaves. “B-But Ms. M-Marion ye-ye-yelled at me!”
Eddie’s brows pinch together, and he gently presses his calloused palms against Harris’s narrow shoulders, desperate to prevent him from hyperventilating. “Harris, you gotta calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re crying like this!” Despite his efforts, his frustration bleeds into his tone, and he winces when the latter sentence ends with an unwanted snap. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s just an art project.”
“Harris?”
The sound of your voice draws the attention of both Munsons. You let out a small oof as Harris flings himself against your legs, and though he practically flew the five foot distance between his father and you, now is not the time to remind him about using his walking feet.
“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” You crouch down, taking his hand in yours, and notice his quick, shallow breaths. “We’re gonna breathe together, okay? Eyes on me.” You demonstrate inhaling for three seconds, holding for three seconds, and exhaling for three seconds. “Now let’s do it together.”
He hesitates but ultimately follows your lead, and you guide him until his breathing slows enough for him to sputter, “I t-tried to sit, b-but I c-couldn’t.”
You haven’t the slightest idea what he’s referring to, but Eddie fills you in. You feel the heat of anger creeping through your body, not just for the way your co-worker treated the sweet boy, but for her insolent approach to teaching as a whole.
“We can go to my classroom,” you offer, silently sighing in relief when the boy nods in agreement. “I don’t know if I have the supplies to make the same project as Ms. Marion, but if you have a few minutes, you can draw something now. I bet Mr. Will would love to help you; he’s a super-duper artist.”
Just as you’d predicted, Will jumps at the opportunity to help Harris with his impromptu art project, encouraging him to draw something that makes him happy. While he does that, you comb through the mess left behind from the Halloween party you’d thrown. You’d sooner toss one hundred cupcake wrappers in the trash before attempting a conversation with Eddie Munson. He’s simply too unpredictable; kind and thoughtful one day, harsh and guarded the next.
One of the wrappers in your hand drops to the floor and you reach forward to pick it up, pinching the pleated material between your pointer and middle fingers. You can feel Eddie’s eyes on your form, the way the backs of your thighs are slightly exposed when you bend over, and you stand up quickly.
“Are you the Magic School Bus lady?” He takes in your lavender dress with planets and stars stamped all over it. Oh. He wasn’t checking you out; he was just trying to figure out who you’d dressed up as. Good. Anything else would be inappropriate.
So why does a twinge of disappointment radiate through you?
You glance at your costume; with all of the commotion, you’d forgotten you’d even been wearing one “I mean, would I even be a teacher if I didn’t jump at the chance to be Ms. Frizzle?” You motion over to Will, decked out in green from head to toe with two yellow horns glued to a headband atop his mop of brown hair. “Have you met my trusty sidekick, Liz the Lizard?”
Eddie laughs. “Yeah, Byers actually used to play in my D&D club back in high school. Made some pretty sick art pieces to liven up that dingy excuse for a room.”
You look between the two of them, trying to do the mental math. “Will, didn’t you say you’re twenty-four?” And if Eddie is thirty, that means…
“I, uh, had a little trouble graduating,” Eddie sheepishly admits, ruffling the back of his hair and offering a tight grimace. “But I got there eventually. Class of ‘86, baby!”
“Worked out for me,” Will shrugs with a grin, looking up from Harris’s drawing. “You were the best DM Hellfire ever had. Although, rumor has it that Erica Sinclair gave you a run for your money.”
Harris picks up a yellow marker, furiously scribbling a circle in the left-hand corner of his paper. You try peering over to see the whole drawing, but he presses his whole body against the table, successfully thwarting your plans. “No peeking!” he warns, not putting his feet back on the ground until you’ve averted your gaze. “‘S a surprise.”
You put your hands up in surrender. “All right, all right. I’ll be surprised.” You raise your eyebrows at Eddie, who shares a similar response in return.
“Dunno when he got so bossy,” he snorts before calling out to his son, “Har-Bear? Five more minutes. We gotta get home to trick-or-treat with Grampa Wayne.”
“Ooh, that sounds like fun!” you echo as Harris grabs a purple marker from the box. “What’s your favorite candy?”
“Hmm.” Harris uses his free hand–the one with the cast–to tap his chin, continuing to color with the other one. “M&Ms. But only the plain ones. Daddy doesn’t let me have the peanut ones ‘cause he says I could choke.”
You shoot a sly, knowing look at Eddie. “I’m sure that’s the only reason. Such a selfless father.” You cross your arms over your chest and cock your head innocently. “And what do you do with all of these confiscated peanut M&Ms, Mr. Munson? Donate them?”
Eddie tucks his lips into his mouth to mask his grin. “Listen, the jig is gonna be up at some point,” he mumbles out of the corner of his mouth, loud enough so you can hear but soft enough that Harris can’t. “Let me enjoy my free candy while it lasts.”
“No judgment here,” you say with a small laugh, “they’re one of my favorites, too.”
“TA-DA!” Harris shouts, startling you, Eddie, and Will. He holds up the construction paper and smiles widely. To anyone without kids–or who didn’t teach preschool for a living–it would look like a bunch of colorful scribbles. But you can tell that he’s drawn a group of people standing by a tree (or a really, really tall flower) underneath the sun.
“Wow, Harris! That’s amazing!” you clap your hands together to punctuate your enthusiasm. “Who are all those people?”
Harris’s pointer finger travels left to right across the paper as he names each person: “That’s me, Grampa Wayne, Daddy, you, and Mr. Will!” The stick figure that represents you has a purple scribble on it, which you realize must be the costume you’re wearing. “An’ we’re all smiling because we’re happy!” Sure enough, each person has a curved red line at the bottom of their face. But there’s something else that catches your eye.
All of the people have a small space between them, except for you and Eddie. The circle that Harris drew to represent your left hand overlaps with the circle that is Eddie’s right.
You glance at the real Eddie, and if he notices, he doesn’t give any indication. “I love it, buddy.” He takes the drawing and inspects it closely. “Yup, this one’s definitely going on the fridge when we get home.” He flicks the paper for good measure. “Go clean up the markers so we can head out, Axl Rose.”
Among the noise of markers clattering back in the bins, you lean in to Eddie, inadvertently inhaling the scent of his cigarettes and cologne. For a brief moment, you’re transported back to the night fate had led you to cross paths; the thought of his lips on your neck in the stairwell has you clenching your thighs and swallowing thickly as you murmur, “I can ask him to make a new one with just you, him, and his grandpa.”
Eddie shakes his head. “N-No. I like this one.” He lets one hand drop to his side and it grazes yours. His rings brush your knuckles, and you instinctively draw back at the sensation of the cool metal and the zing of heat that pulses at his light touch. “Sorry,” he mumbles, not making eye contact.
“S’okay.”
He blinks a few times and redirects his attention to his son. “What do you say to Mr. Will and Ms. Sweetheart for letting you do your art project?”
Harris’s little chest swells as he inhales deeply, storing up as much oxygen as he can fit in his lungs before bellowing, “THANK YOUUUUUUU!”
Eddie brings his palm to his ear canal, rotating his forefinger as though trying to repair a punctured eardrum. “Love the enthusiasm,” he says through gritted teeth. “Seriously, though. Thank you both so much.”
“Of course,” Will says warmly, picking up the marker bin and placing it in its space on the shelf.
“Anything for Harris.” You smile, motioning towards the little boy already by his father’s side. “Have fun trick-or-treating tonight, bud! I can’t wait to hear about all the yummy candy you got.”
Harris scrunches his nose in contemplation. “Are you going trick-or-treating, Ms. Sweetheart?”
“Nah,” you laugh, “I’m gonna stay home and give candy to all the kids who come by.” And pray that Grandma doesn’t curse them out, you silently add.
“Oh.” Harris pauses, grabbing his dad’s hand. “Okay, bye!”
Eddie chuckles as his son pulls him towards the door. “That’s my cue. Um, Happy Halloween,” he adds awkwardly, waving once before disappearing down the hallway.
There’s so much more that he wants to say: you’re the best; you saved the day; you should be my son’s teacher instead of that old, bitchy bat. But he didn’t have time. Maybe another day. At least, that’s what he tells himself.
Wayne arrives just a few minutes after Eddie and Harris get home. As soon as his gruff voice comes over the intercom, Harris excitedly buzzes him in. “Grampa Wayne’s here!” he yells, even though Eddie’s standing right next to him. He grabs the pillowcase from the couch; it was originally white, but after Eddie accidentally threw in a red sock with the white laundry, it’s tinted light pink.
No sooner does the older man cross the threshold into the apartment, Harris is trying to drag him out again. “Let’s go, before all the good candy is gone!” he whines. His eyebrows pinch together and he drops his grandfather’s hand. “Oh, wait, I gotta show you something.” He scampers off into the kitchen, and Wayne winces when he hears the rattle of magnets falling to the floor.
“I’m okay!” Harris calls out, running back with a piece of paper in his hand. “Look what I drawed at school today!” He gives Wayne the rundown of who’s who.
Wayne analyzes each person in the picture, stopping at the overlapping circles between you and Eddie. “This is great, Har-Bear,” he muses. “Are, um, are Daddy and Ms. Sweetheart holding hands?”
“Mhm,” Harris casually confirms, taking the drawing back. “‘Cause they’re married.”
Eddie chokes on air as Wayne does a double-take. “Congrats, Ed,” he jokes, clapping a hand to his nephew’s shoulder. “Gotta say, I thought I’d at least get an invite.”
“Shut up,” Eddie grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Harris, why do you think that Ms. Sweetheart and I are married?” He wracks his brain for answers, but he can’t come to a logical conclusion. Did I talk about her in my sleep? Oh, shit, what if it was when I had that dream—
“Because you gived her a present,” Harris says, eyes innocent and wide. “And when grown-ups love each other, they give each other presents.”
“Oh, he gave Ms. Sweetheart a present, huh?” On the surface, Wayne’s words are as innocuous as Harris’s, but Eddie hears the teasing buried just beneath.
Harris nods. “Mhm. He gived her a tape!”
“It was the Toni Braxton one that she came into the shop for…that day that, uh…” Eddie raises his eyebrows at his uncle, who nods in acknowledgment. He brings his focus back to his son. “It doesn’t mean that we’re married. People have to go on dates and fall in love before they get married.”
The young boy absorbs this information. “So you should go on dates and fall in love with Ms. Sweetheart!” His face lights up at the idea of it, and it breaks Eddie’s heart to let him down.
So, he doesn’t.
“Why don’t you hang that back up so we can get outta here and get you some candy, huh?” He forces a smile and watches his son scamper into the kitchen before turning back to Wayne and shaking his head.
Harris peels a magnet off of the fridge, the one Eddie bought him on their Daddy-Son day. It has a sea lion balancing a beach ball on its snout, with HAWKINS ZOO printed in bolded letters along the bottom.
Lowering his voice to a whisper, he speaks directly to his drawing. “When Daddy and Ms. Sweetheart fall in love and get married, I’ll finally have a mommy.” He presses his hand flat against the paper as though he’s sealing in the wish. He stays like that for a moment until his dad calls his name, and he clutches his pillow case as they head out the door.
Eddie assumes that the love and marriage talk is done for the evening, but the feeling of relief doesn’t last long. The trio of Munson men is halfway down the stairwell when Wayne starts instigating. “Hey, Har, is Ms. Sweetheart pretty?”
“WAYNE!” Eddie grits his teeth and shoots a sharp look at his uncle. The last thing he needs is for Harris to get his hopes up about a blossoming romance between his dad and his former teacher.
“Oh, yeah!” Harris gleefully agrees, oblivious to the mounting tension. He grips the railing and jumps from the second to last step onto the tiled landing below. “Super pretty! Like a princess.”
The eldest Munson turns to Eddie. “Didja hear that? Pretty like a princess.”
“I heard him,” Eddie replies tersely.
“Daddy?”
No. Don’t ask me. Harris Wayne Munson, do not ask me what I think you’re going to—
“Do you think Ms. Sweetheart is pretty?”
Although he anticipated the question, Eddie still freezes. If he disagrees, Harris will inevitably want to know why not. And if he’s being honest with himself, he can’t name a single ugly thing about you.
He does think you’re pretty. He thinks you’re beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. And even though he’s literally seen you naked, fully on display for him–a memory he revisits more often than he’s willing to admit–it’s the thought of what you did today that solidifies your beauty. The way you’d effortlessly calmed Harris down without Eddie even having to ask. The frown on his face almost instantly became a smile, the flow of his tears ceasing and turning into the giggles that brought sunlight into Eddie’s life. You did that.
Any woman can be sexy, but you? In that moment, you were perfect.
Fuck.
“Daddy? Hello?”
At the sound of Harris’s voice, Eddie realizes that he physically hasn’t moved from his spot on the stairs. His hand is gripping the banister so tightly that it leaves an imprint in his palm. “Yeah, buddy,” he manages through his Sahara Desert throat. “I think Ms. Sweetheart’s pretty.”
“Like a princess?” Wayne’s eyes twinkle mischievously. It’s been a long time since he’s been able to tease his nephew about a crush, and he’s not passing up this limited opportunity.
“Yeah. Like a princess.”
Education outsiders might think that Halloween is one of the worst days to be a teacher. The lethal combination of sugar and excitement barely contained in tiny costumed bodies seems like a recipe for disaster. But any teacher worth their salt will tell you that there is a day far, far worse than Halloween: November 1st.
On Halloween, there is the expectation for fun. There’s a costume parade, classroom trick-or-treating, and even a little party. The kids are out of control, but who cares? It’s Halloween.
But on November 1st, there is work to be done. And you’re expected to teach the months of the year to 10 four-year-olds who are suffering from candy hangovers and won’t stop asking why they can’t go trick-or-treating again today.
You and Will are preparing for battle as students trickle in, excited to show off the candy stashes they acquired the night before. Abby Carver cries because she ate her Reese’s cup and now she’s sad that it’s gone. Joshua Harrington is continuing to “sling webs” at the other kids despite your incessant reminders that he is no longer Spider-Man. A fight over a KitKat bar breaks out not even five minutes into the day, and you confiscate it before someone causes serious bodily harm.
Two fingers lightly tap on your shoulder—too high up to be a kid—and you whirl around with an irritated, “what?”
“Whoa,” Eddie says, concern etched into his otherwise soft features. He takes a small step back, nearly tripping over a rogue Lego that somehow made its way out of the toy area. He stumbles but catches his balance easily. “Everything okay?”
“‘S a warzone out here,” you try and joke, but you feel it fall flat. You’re too tired for humor. Grandma may not have yelled at the trick-or-treaters like you’d feared, but she did get increasingly angrier with each knock on the door. After the fifth time of her snarling at you to “shut the hell up” (like you could simultaneously be on both sides of the door), you’d relented and just put the candy bowl on the welcome mat, scribbling “TAKE ONE” on a yellow sticky note, adhering it to the plastic container.
Two decades earlier, Halloween at Grandma’s house had a completely different connotation. She’d have a little pizza party all set up for you, and she’d buy a big bag of your favorite candy, in case you didn’t get enough during your door-to-door quests. And she’d always let you watch whatever spooky movie your heart desired, regardless of your parents’ rules.
“That’s what grandmas are for,” she’d said with a wink, and the two of you curled up to watch Little Shop of Horrors. Her demeanor matched the hokey magnet on her fridge that read, If I knew how fun my grandkids would be, I would’ve had them first. You’d stay like that until you both fell asleep, only being roused by your parents arriving to pick you up. The good old days, before Grandma waking up involved watching the confusion in her eyes as she tried and failed to place you.
“C-Can I help you with something?” Your guard goes up immediately when you notice that Harris isn’t with him. The time you’d spent together after school yesterday had been nice, fun, even, but you couldn’t trust that today would be the same. Not after what happened a few short weeks ago.
“I, um…I just swung by to give you this.” He reaches into the inner pocket of his denim jacket; it’s the same one that he lent to Harris when he’d forgotten his at home. A flash of yellow paper catches your eye, and he unfurls his palm to reveal a small bag of peanut M&Ms. “You said they were one of your favorites, right?”
You look at the treat, not willing to reach out and grab it. What if it’s a joke? An elaborate ploy to reel you in, just to shout “gotcha” when you finally let your walls come down?
“Are they poisoned or something?” you quip, crossing your arms over your chest. “Did you spike them with Ex-Lax?”
Eddie’s lips part in surprise before he collects himself. “Guess I deserve that,” he mumbles. “But, no. They’re not. I swear on James Hetfield’s life.” He drags his fingernail over his heart in an X-formation.
You take the bag, inspecting it for any sign of tampering, but you come up short. The edges are sealed, and there are no pinpricks as far as your eyes can see. “Dipped into Harris’s stash for me?”
“Hey, these bad boys are technically mine for the taking until he figures out that he can eat them without dying.” Eddie chuckles lightly, peering at you through impossibly long lashes. “But, yeah, I was hoping you’d accept these as part of my apology. Or apologies, I guess. For, uh, for not calling when I said I would, and all of the awful shi—awful things I said to you.” His voice is barely above a whisper as he steps closer and says, “I am so fucking sorry.”
You make a small tear in the bag, tapping it against your palm until an M&M falls out. Popping the blue candy in your mouth, you allow the shell to start dissolving on your tongue before crunching on the peanut, hoping you can process what he’s said by the time you’re finished chewing.
This is what you’ve been waiting for—an actual heartfelt apology. His brown eyes reflect nothing but shame and remorse, and you can tell by the way that he’s fidgeting with his rings that he’s anxiously awaiting your reply.
His vulnerability softens you slightly, and considering you haven’t keeled over after ingesting the candy, you throw him a bone.
“This fun size bag covers the ‘not calling’ part, but I’m gonna need a lot more candy if you want me to forgive you for what you said at the music store.” You keep your tone light; teasing, even, but there’s a layer of truth to it. He can’t merely waltz into your classroom with a gift and expect you to forget his hurtful words.
Eddie nods, his frizzy curls brushing the tops of his denim-clas shoulders. “I know. I’ve said some pretty terrible things in my life, but that might’ve been the worst. And, um,” he fumbles his words, desperately searching for the right ones. Semantics has never been his forte. “You didn’t deserve that. It’s not true; your grandma didn’t want to forget you. And…neither do I.” When you raise your eyebrows, he starts to backtrack. “Because you’re so great with Harris; like, you understand him and stuff. He’s always talking about you.”
Daddy, do you think Ms. Sweetheart is pretty? The question replays like a song he can’t shake from his head, its melody familiar but the notes still keeping him on edge. Pretty like a princess, only instead of saving her, I’m the one who needs to be rescued. So much for Prince Charming, huh?
The M&M melts in your mouth while you formulate a response to his candid admission. Sweetness seeps into your taste buds as you try to straddle the line between careful consideration and overthinking. Speak too quickly and you might say something you’ll regret. Take too long and you’ll make this even more awkward.
“W-Well, I’m glad to hear that.” Short, simple, to the point. Your words are slightly slurred by the candy obstruction, but what else is there to say? You could add that you forgive him, but you’re truthfully not sure that you do. His words scarred, had taken your already mangled self-worth and snapped it into pieces, and so did his reasoning for hurting you. Despite the love and kindness you’d shown his son, Eddie had fully believed that you were responsible for spreading personal information that would wound him. It was exactly as Jeff had said: Eddie struck below the belt at the first sign of conflict, so determined to protect himself that he didn’t even realize that he was attacking the people on his side.
The sound of books clattering to the floor snatches your attention from him, and you whip your head to your little classroom library to see two kids standing over a pile of fallen books, guilty looks stamped on their faces. “I’ve gotta go,” you blurt out, dashing off to assess the damage. You’ve never been so grateful for your students causing mischief.
The hour hand crawls to the number two; at one point, you swore the clock was moving backwards. The chaos of the morning was only a preview of the rest of the day’s fiascos, but you and Will had navigated as best as you could.
“Jesus,” he murmurs once the kids have all been dismissed, gingerly rubbing his temples, “that was brutal. I can handle the day after Halloween; I can handle Fridays, but when they coincide? Nope, never again.” He slumps into a chair dramatically, letting his arms drape over the sides.
“Gonna have a glass of wine when you get home?” you joke, wiping Play-Doh residue from a tabletop.
Will nods. “Or a whole bottle.” His focus shifts to your desk, and he nods his chin in that direction. “I see you have something to look forward to tonight, too.”
You follow his gaze, widening your eyes when you see the object he’s referring to. A bag of peanut M&Ms–much bigger than the one you’d inhaled this morning–sits on top of your desk calendar; resting next to it is a cassette. You walk over, curiosity getting the better of you. The cassette is Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite for Destruction; you recognize the iconic cover as soon as it comes into view. It’s not your usual music choice, but you’ll listen to almost anything.
There’s a piece of paper taped to the giant yellow M&M bag, folded in equal triads. Messily scrawled across the front in black ink is Ms. Sweetheart. You gently pull the adhesive loose and open the letter, nervously running your forefinger across the irregular edge where it was obviously torn from a composition notebook.
Fun size mistake=fun size bag of candy
Family size mistake=family size bag of candy
I’m really good at fucking things up, but really bad at fixing them. I wish I could say that I didn’t mean to hurt you, but we both know that I did.
You don’t have to forgive me, but I need you to know how sorry I am.
-Eddie
P.S. Not sure if hard rock is your thing, but I saw this at work and it reminded me of the kindness you showed our favorite little Axl Rose yesterday.
“Who’s it from?” Will asks, breaking into your thoughts. “A secret admirer?” He brings his clasped hands to his cheek in mock dreaminess.
You manage a laugh as you fold the note back up and tuck it under the calendar. “If it is, he’s really bad at it, because he signed his name.” When did he even sneak in here to do this? Kind of scary that someone could walk in and you didn’t even notice.
“Aha! So it is a guy!” Will pumps his fist triumphantly, though you’re not quite sure what he thinks he’s won.
“Just Eddie Munson, thanking us for letting Harris draw here yesterday.”
It’s not a total lie, but Will sees right through it. “Uh-huh. Thanking us? So that note is also for me? Can I read it?” He starts towards your desk, outstretched hand reaching towards where you’d tried to hide it, but you playfully swat them away.
You glance at the clock and frown. “If you leave a little early, I won’t tell anyone.”
Will flips you off; over the last two months, you two had developed a sibling-esque relationship that came out more once the kids had left for the day. He grabs his backpack from the supply closet and slings it over his shoulders. “You’re lucky I’m exhausted, or I’d stick around and keep bothering you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You roll your eyes, knowing full well that he’s itching to leave regardless. “Gotta save up your energy for when Marshall visits.”
Will blushes at the mention of his long-distance boyfriend’s name. He still wasn’t out to many people, but when you’d casually mentioned the date Jess had with a girl named Robin, he’d felt comfortable opening up to you. “I can’t wait!” His grin is so wide you swear it’ll stretch right off of his face. “Thanks again; you’re the best.”
That leaves you alone with your gigantic bag of candy, a Guns N’ Roses cassette, and an apology that you have no idea what to do with.
Once again, Eddie Munson has given you more questions than answers.
--
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What König Likes to Read
König is a big guy, but he's not just a muscle head. He's actually highly intelligent. See, when you're as socially ostracized as König was growing up, you learn to find ways to keep yourself busy. When your dad is a professor of agriculture and your mom's a vet tech (as discussed in this post), you learn a lot about animals. With all that time on your hands, you read a lot too.
Growing up, König spent his time reading. He loved reading more than anything else. He would read anything he could get his chubby little hands on. His parents were more than happy to encourage his interests (especially because they didn't destroy the house like Stephen's 'science experiments') and so he was showered with books about anything that caught his attention. When he was young, they gave him almost an entire library on wolves and bears, and then he got books on birds, then plants (his father was delighted by this), and then natural disasters, and the list goes on. All in all, König was a nature kid with an entire library of textbooks at the age of twelve.
König loved to read outside too. He could often be seen after school grabbing a survival manual from off his shelf and then scurrying out the backdoor. His mother eventually gave up on chasing him down into the wilderness and instead got a cow bell off a client to summon him back home before dark. His sister called him a bull. He called her a cow. He got an hour long lecture for that one.
König never stopped reading when he got older. Eventually, he branched out of nonfiction to read fiction and became enraptured by classical literature. When he was going through his goth phase, you could catch him outside twirling his long dyed hair in his finger and reading Edgar Allen Poe, a german-to-english dictionary on his knee to reference at every other line. His peers laughed at him and called him names, but he ignored them. The world of poetry called to him.
He got into Russian poetry when he left to the military. His grandfather told him nobody would take him seriously, but his bunk mate had him reading to him every night. In the morning, they'd break it down over breakfast.
When König joined the military to be a sniper, he became a gun nut. He knew all the models in the Austrian military and all the accompanying ammo and attachments. He was reading up skills and strategies every night to absorb as much as he could. However, reading didn't help him get in, so he turned his sights to the next best option.
By the time König was in the Jagdkommando, everyone flocked to him just to learn from him about surviving the wilderness. He was unused to the popularity at first, but he flourished in their company and soon became a core member of his class. He flew through the survival training, sometimes even outsmarting his teachers. Did this do him any favours? Not really, but it paid off in the end. He graduated at the top, and nobody could argue his abilities.
When he rose the ranks to becoming a colonel, he invested hundreds in books on warfare and strategy. He was a walking talking encyclopedia on the Roman conquest of Britain and the Secret Intelligence during World War 2. He was unstoppable. His overseers were impressed by his knowledge and he was rewarded greatly.
Now, since joining KorTac, he may have lost his rank officially but everyone around him reveres him for his skills. He's the closest you can get to an expert in his areas of interest. He likes having more time on the field, but he misses more time to read. Nowadays, he always has about four books on the go at a time. One nonfiction, one self help, one classical literature, and one silly 'potato chip' novel. He feels very guilty reading potato chip novels.
So, in the end, König has become extremely knowledgeable about animals, plants, survival skills, first aid, classical history, military history, classical literature and poetry. He also has a surprising amount of knowledge about finances, cooking, cars, weather phenomena, and agriculture/gardening.
He is also a reading snob. If you tell him you read romance novels in public, he'll scoff at you and tell you that romance is silly and overrated. If you ask him in private, he'll gush about the relationships in Les Miserables and Wuthering Heights. He may normally like horror, thriller, action, suspense and mystery, (oh, and military or historical ofc) but genuinely he'll take whatever he can get. He has a beautiful gilded set of Lord of the Rings in a deluxe slipcase that holds a prime place on his bookshelves. He also holds a special place in his heart for sci-fi. He even enjoys westerns, such as Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian.
All in all, König loves reading. It's his favourite way to spend his free time. If he can't sit down and read, he'll have an audiobook going. He's the type of nerd to set up a playlist to have going while listening to an audiobook. He's genuinely such a book nerd. At this point, the only person who will listen to him is Hutch, and they get along quite well (except for the one time that Hutch said Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was better than Dracula, which led to a month-long feud between the two). König is always looking out for fellow book lovers, but the last time he tried to join a book club he ate an entire plate of cookies within the first half and hour of the meeting and was written off the invites list.
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