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rkxjongsuk · 4 years ago

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Final Post ||

I spent most of yesterday evening and this morning just kind of mentally processing the actual closing of rookies after seven years. Seeing the amazing plans that would have come to fruition makes me a bit sad but also kind of happy that rookies ended where it ended. Thank you to the mods for prolonged effort to keep this rp running as long as it did and I am glad to have been here as long as I was.

I first joined rookies six years ago on the 15th of October, 2014. 2014 and subsequently 2015 had been a chaotic formative years for me. At the time, I was in my third year of college, constantly questioning whether or not I should be doing my degree, watching my parents get divorced in the summer of 2015 and moving out of the house where I’d lived for twelve years. Rookies (at first through Sungjong in October and then through Kevin in March (03.04.2015) and Kris in April (04.29.2015)} was a writing escape and somewhat of a comfort. Over the years at rookies, I have grown, graduated from college with a business degree and ended up completely a different person then I was five years ago.

My writing improved a lot and I can confidently say that it was mostly thanks to Rookies. I had been completely scared off writing after an English teacher bitched at me for my skills but thanks to rookies, I got more confident in my own skills. Sure, there’s been other rps before rookies and at the same time as rookies, but they had never lasted quite as long. Through the years, I have made some incredible friends through rookies and I am glad to have them in my life. You guys are genuinely the best and I’ll always love you. I have no intentions of ghosting any of you and hopefully, we’ll write again together somewhere else.

Now, onto what everyone actually wants: rkmuses future and taking in the ideas and everything set out by Bianca in account, where they would end up?

rkxjongsuk: the trc vocal king, easter bunny, princess diva of youtube fame - formerly rkkevin

I know I always used to say that I wanted him to debut the most since he’s my oldest muse, but in all honesty, he would have never fit in the idol bubble. Going off the ideas set out by Bianca, however, his future would have been pretty satisfying.

He would have ended up staying in TRC (since he had signed his contract for the second time back in may) and debuting as part of the rkmonstax group with the other trc boys in early 2021 (most likely as their main vocalist). Jongsuk would have felt pretty accomplished by this, and had been ready for the idol life. However, he was not ready for the rules and restrictions that would come into play with the group.

he’d always had a kind of laissez faire approach to everything and so the idol life is kind of shocking to him. it wasn’t what he’d fantasized it would be. so, jongsuk would probably become the first member to officially leave the group before their six-year contract would expire citing personal difficulties and mental health issues (three years and a bit after debut)

During those three years with the group, however, he’d make a name for himself as the King of OST. He would have gone on to King of Masked Singer (making it to R2 and shocking everyone with the high note octaves), gone on to be one of the trainers on the Voice of Korea partnering with Dynamic Duo, and make multiple appearances on Immortal Songs (a la Kyuhyun). Simultaneously, he’d also be collabing with idols across companies, most notably fellow former mga 3 contestant Gyeoul of And*Roma and Jiyeon of HEARTZ.

Upon his departure from the group, he moved back to San Francisco and resumed his Youtube life and career. He would still support the rest of the boys, as an international fan and would always buy up a lot of their cds to support and tell his followers to stream. However, being back in his element, Jongsuk would feel a lot more relaxed and a lot more comfortable.

A few months after his return home, he’d gain a collaboration with Smashbox or Morphe for a makeup line and he’d release an eyeshadow palette, two lipsticks and three eyeliners with the branding Smashbox x Stark: Rave on Mad (an homage to his youtube name: starkravingmad). He’d most likely send it in packages to his best friends in Korea. Jongsuk would find success in other fields outside of music and delve into what made his channel tick and what made him the happiest.

Eventually, I think, he would have found love (maybe in the form of another tall actor who was in school 2013 with him) and been a happy youtuber, taking constant new challenges all over the place and always stepping to his own beat.

As for his friends, he would have definitely gone back to Korea for Kangjoon’s eventual wedding and Jiyeon’s eventual wedding as well. The invites to visit him in San Francisco, California would have been extended to all his friends and even in his busy schedule, he’d always find time to show them all around the city that he’d been born. He’d even always be happy to see his former groupmates if they came on tour to California and would always be the first one for the backstage/VIP passes.

rkxrm: the kt chaebol, nsg’s main rapper and actor extraordinaire - formerly rkkris, rkkmh, minhyukxrk

namjoon had always been the unwilling debut, since I honestly never saw him actually debuting before jongsuk and instead, here we are. he’s the established idol.

With NSG’s debut having just happened, he would probably stick around as the rapper before KT began shoving him into acting everywhere. Most likely, would have ended up as leader of another subunit (maybe?) in the future putting that leadership expertise to the good use. After the first two successful comebacks, he would have gone into acting officially with the first main role on a web-drama as Cha Gihyun on A-TEEN.

His charisma would have definitely shined and stolen the screen time since he’s a former actor already. Following initial drama success, he would have tried his hand in modelling and endorsement, with Honda and Skool Looks. He would have gone further in modelling and acting, eventually becoming more known as the actor Kim Namjoon than the rapper of nsg.

He would have had his share of crazy fans (mostly noonas, pretty girls and drama grandmas) and even probably taken the top bias spot for quite a few people when they would have found out his past. Of course, during the course of promotions (I envision this would happen during Regular-Irregular promotions), it come to light that he’s an actual chaebol (he’s never hidden it but netizens think this is a big deal) and the heir to Kim Securities with a former Canadian award winning actress as his mother. It also comes to light the dysfunctional family dynamic that he’d always had with them.

It caused some hardship between him and his family but he had the support of nsg behind him (his ride or die brothers and family) but in the end his family did began treating him a lot better and he eventually gained their support.

He would have stayed with NSG all through their first contract, but probably wouldn’t have renewed and most likely would have either gone to acting agency where he could focus on acting or go back to that chaebol life and actually fully embrace it as a future heir.

In terms of his love life, he would have officially asked Jiyeon to date him at the Halloween party and they would starred in a few dramas side by side (Cinderella and the Four Knights being their first). They would kept secretly dating and eventually after their mutual dating ban was over, would probably reveal it in a cute couple shoot for Ceci or Dazed and Confused (like E Dawn and Hyuna). After Joon would have left NSG (post contract non renewal), he would have probably still kept acting and modelling alongside Jiyeon. NamYeon would have been a lot like the Rain/Kim Taehee acting and visual power couple.

He would have definitely still kept in close touch with the rest of nsg (since they’re like brothers) and even with all his former kt friends, loving the time that he had spent in the company.

rksxngyeol: nova’s artist, the mangaka

sungyeol had been an incredibly refreshing muse to write. he’s always been someone who actually doesn’t want to debut and he just wants to draw. i initially got him because minhyuk (joon) and jongsuk were getting really exhausting.

there’s not much to say about sungyeol’s future. his contract with nova would have expired in november and he would have left the company on his own terms with the two years behind him. he learned a lot during those two years at nova and even realized a lot about himself.

following his contract expiry, he would have asked his boyfriend (myungsoo) to move in with him over christmas with a key in a box attached to a black butler keychain. if the other said yes, then the new year would have kicked off with the duo moving and cooking together and spending time with each other.

sungyeol would have resumed drawing manhwa and mangas, combining his webtoon comic into a more professional looking five volume manga series with the same title. eventually he would have gotten an anime deal again and even a live action deal on his works (if your muse would have wanted to be in the live action of the Princess’s Sword, go for it). That would have propelled his family to actually recognize him as a talent and he would have been reinstated into the family.

This would have led to myungsoo officially meeting Sungyeol’s family. His parents would have loved him to bits and his grandparents would have been iffy on it, but his grandmother would end up dying three years after of heart attack and his grandfather would have followed her a year later of old age.

After having dated Myungsoo for about five years, Sungyeol would have proposed to him and they would have most likely gotten married on the beach while on vacation somewhere warm. (we love a happy ending ;.;) Also, he would have moved into a bigger house and brought Haebin with them so that they could be a cute happy family.

Eventually, he would have come back to work for Nova as a producer and creative direction artist under Wendy as CEO (if that would have happened), and if not, he would have taken over his family’s company despite the lack of education and simply learned on the job. (Can I say that he would have been Myungsoo’s sugar daddy at some point even though they would be married or engaged at this point???)

Thank you for reading to the very end and I love you all. Let’s stay friends and meet again in another rp.

#that was very very long

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dimensionsunited · 5 years ago

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FEBRUARY 2020 DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULES & REVIEW

Members may earn 3 points each (up to 6 points) for writing, by the end of March 7 KST:

A solo para of 400+ words based on their monthly schedule (does not count toward your monthly total).

A thread of six posts (three per participant, including the starter) based on their monthly schedule.

Threads do not have to take place directly during an important date listed on the schedule, but must be related to what the muse is mentioned to be doing in the paragraph explaining their schedule/the company’s schedule for the month and/or their thoughts on the mentioned activities or lack thereof.

These schedules may be updated throughout the month if new information needs to be added.

Reminder: January schedule posts are due by the end of February 7 KST.

Overall Company

February is a big month for Dimensions and its employees. Starting from the beginning of the month, operations will begin moving over into the company’s new, bigger building in Samseong-dong. By the final day of the month, all day to day operations will be officially moved into the new building. The new building is much larger than their previous one and is newly built. That’s not the only change this month, though. After news of their acquisition of Z Entertainment and Dimensions Soloist 3, it’s clear Dimensions is reinvesting its recent profits. Artists under the label may have heard rumors of the news in the week or two before the news was officially released through company gossip or seeing the new soloist and producers around the building.

Important dates:

February 29: Official move-in date for new building.

Dimensions Soloist 1

Her first schedule for the month is to film a Guerilla Date interview appearance where she’ll meet with fans near the Han River at night time and then talk with the host about how far she’s come since debut, but three days later, she’ll have the opportunity to meet with even more fans for a Valentine’s day fan meeting. She’ll perform all of her singles since “Gashina” as well as older favorites like “Bloom” and “24 Hours” and get a chance to interact with fans that haven’t seen her for a while. To welcome their new soloist, she’s also encouraged to make an appearance on Dimensions Soloist 3′s video diary if they happen to be in the building at the same time.

Important dates:

February 11: Guerilla Date filming (to be aired: February 25).

February 14: Valentine’s Day Fan Meeting at Yes24 Live Hall in Seoul, South Korea.

Dimensions Soloist 2

While he continues recording for his upcoming comeback mini-album this month, the fan meeting in Bangkok on the twenty-second is the more important February schedule for the company, so he spends as much time in the practice studio rehearsing his performances for that as he does recording new songs, if not more. To welcome their new soloist, he’s encouraged to make an appearance on Dimensions Soloist 3′s video diary if they happen to be in the building at the same time.

Important dates:

February 22: Be Happy fanmeeting at GMM Live House in Bangkok, Thailand.

Dimensions Soloist 3

She didn’t have much time to adjust to her new company before getting thrown into solo debut preparations, and she already began recording her her debut solo album and attending concept meetings last month, which will continue through into this month. Dimensions has asked her to keep a video diary of her solo debut preparations for them to cut together and release leading up to her debut to increase hype, and she’s encouraged to include other Dimensions artists in some of the videos in order to naturally integrate her into the company “family”.

Important dates:

N/A

Gal.actic

It’s comeback season! That means music shows and fan signs as usual, and the song does better than expected, peaking on the charts around the same position as “Be Ambitious” did (and without all the controversy!), but Gal.actic will also do a special eight hour live stream for their fans for Valentine’s Day from 2PM KST to 10PM KST. The full group will participate for an hour at the beginning and the end, but in between that, each member will get an hour on their own to entertain fans for an hour with talking, singing, cooking, or anything else that fits the format. The assigned time slots are as follows:

2PM-3PM: Full group

3PM-4PM: Leader/main vocal

4PM-5PM: Vocal

5PM-6PM: Main rapper/main dancer/vocal

6PM-7PM: Lead vocal

7PM-8PM: Lead rapper/lead dancer/vocal

8PM-9PM: Maknae/vocal

9PM-10PM: Full group

Important dates:

February 12: Release of “B.B.B.” & mini-album showcase, promotions continue until March 12.

February 14: Special Valentine’s Day livestream show.

February 16: Fan sign in Yeouido, Seoul.

February 22: Fan sign in Gangnam, Seoul.

Alien

Tour is winding down and after next month they’ll get an extended break from touring before they hold an encore concert in Seoul, but for now, they have two concerts this month before returning to Seoul, where they’ll record a new English single “Who Do U Love?” and then film the music video for it later in the month. It’s a different sound from their recent releases in Korea, but Dimensions and Alien’s American label hope it’ll be a more radio-friendly sound in the west. They’ll do some performances for it in the spring as a part of American promotions so there’s choreography to learn as well.

Important dates:

February 7: We Are Here tour concert at Espacos Das Americas in São Paolo, Brazil.

February 9: We Are Here tour concert at Teatro Metropolitan in Mexico City, Mexico.

February 25: “Who Do U Love ft. French Montana” MV filming.

February 26: Release of Alligator Japanese single album.

February 29: Performance at The Fact Music Awards at Gocheok Sky Dome in Seoul, South Korea (also attending: WISH, 7ROPHY, Origin, Fuse).

MARS

Now that their concerts are finished, it’s time for the members to begin preparing for their first comeback of the year. The album will include the last two singles they released, making it a repackaged album, but they’ll need to record the new songs off of it throughout the month, including their next title track, which has a new sound from anything they’ve done before. It’s not necessarily another cute concept, but it is more upbeat and less conceptually intense than their most popular comebacks, so it’s something new for the group to tackle.

Important dates:

N/A

7ROPHY

It’s clear even at the beginning of the month that “Me” failed to live up to the success the group had found in the past year or so. They have a Random 1Line Dance video to film while they’re at the SBS building for Inkigayo, but as the month goes on, management is eager to move past the era and while have plans for their next comeback entirely complete before 7ROPHY even finishes their promotions for “Me” and they’ll only get the last week of the month for “Me” to rest some before they begin work next month toward yet another comeback.

Important dates:

February 9: Random 1Line Dance video filming.

February 22: End of music show promotions.

February 29: Performance at The Fact Music Awards at Gocheok Sky Dome in Seoul, South Korea (also attending: WISH, Alien, Origin, Fuse).

Unity

The modeling opportunities keep rolling in in the absence of a comeback and Unity has been chosen as new ambassadors of NBA’s apparel line in Korea, which they’ll shoot a photo shoot for with Dazed Magazine. BC Soloist 1 will join them for the photo shoot to showcase the cross-gender appeal of the line. Their fourth anniversary is approaching in April, which means more personal freedom for the members contractually, but also comes with the expectation to give back to fans. This will be achieved in the form of a special gift song and video release. They’ll record the song early in the month and film the accompanying video at the end of the month. The two main vocals and the leader have also been chosen to record an OST for the upcoming drama School 2017 this month.

Important dates:

February 13: Dazed Magazine March Issue photo shoot with BC Soloist 1.

February 27: Dream Come True anniversary MV filming.

↳ CHAMPION

With the album all recorded, that means it’s time to learn the choreography for “Jopping” and “I Can’t Stand The Rain”, the main performance tracks but the applicable members will need to learn choreography for “Super Car”, “2 Fast”, and “No Manners” as well. Dance rehearsals will be done at BC Entertainment’s building as the dance studios there are larger, and near the end of the month, BC will leak pictures and video of all of the CHAMPION members arriving at the building to spark discussion before the sub-unit is officially announced in a few months. For three days, all six members of CHAMPION will be sent on a bonding retreat in Jeonju to strengthen their bond as unit members. This is a genuine effort on the companies’ parts to create better group chemistry, so the will not be filmed during the retreat, although a manager from each group will accompany them on the trip.

Important dates:

February 22-24: Bonding retreat in Jeonju, South Korea.

Lucid

Their extended fan sign run ends on the second day of the month, but the Lucid members are nowhere near a break as they prepare for their second anniversary (which will involve a special fan meeting where they’ll reveal their fandom name and light stick and perform their special second anniversary song for the first time to tease the return of their dark concept, so the members will learn the choreography for it in the first two weeks of the month). They’ve been booked for every university orientation festival Dimensions could shove into their schedule, but they’re also busy with concept meetings and studio recording for their next comeback.

Important dates:

February 1: Fan sign in Daejeon, South Korea.

February 2: Fan sign in Suwon, South Korea.

February 3: Second anniversary fan meeting teaser photo shoot.

February 16: Release of “Full Moon” second anniversary single.

February 16: Second Anniversary Fan Meeting : REVERIE at Sogang University in Seoul, South Korea.

February 24: “Full Moon” performance video filming.

February 25: Performance at Cheongju University Orientation Festival in Cheongju, South Korea.

February 26: Performances at Seokyung University Orientation Festival in Seoul, South Korea, and Bucheon University Orientation Festival in Bucheon, South Korea.

February 27: Performances at Sangmyung University Orientation Festival in Seoul, South Korea, and Dongseo University Orientation Festival in Busan, South Korea.

February 28: Performances at Sunghsin Women’s University Orientation Festival in Seoul, South Korea, Hyundai Technical College Orientation Festival in Seoul, South Korea, and Seoul Hoseo Technical College Orientation Festival in Seoul, South Korea.

February 29: Performance at Hongik University of Science & Technology Orientation Festival in Seoul, South Korea.

#fmdschedule #queued post

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caribouv · 5 years ago

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BEST OF THE DECADE: 2010 - 2019

If it is listed first, it is first. This is subjectively best to me, not what is objectively the best.

ALBUM

Tycho - Dive / Odesza - In Return; No surpirse for Tycho. But Odesza, it started at 10th, then 6th, then 3rd, then here it is. This album is so, so, so, so fucking good.

Gold Panda - Lucky Shiner; I'm with you but I'm lonely.

Crystal Castles - (III); I hated the singer. She was always drunk and chasing intoxication. It was lame and shallow and pathetic. Turns out the reason why is because she was being abused by the producer. Regardless, as much as you can say regardless to that, this album is great.

Lane 8 - Rise; I had to be honest and challenge myself for love of Lane 8 v. how good this album in itself is. (I'm not saying the album is bad. It's the fourth best album of the decade for me for fucks sake. On first glance I just thought it would be first or second, that's all.)

Elite Gymnastics - RUIN; this album is criminally underrated. Here, In Heaven is arguably my first and easily my second favorite song of the decade.

Billow Observatory - Billow Observatory; Help me escape. Thank you for helping me escape.

Teen Daze - All of Us, Together; My bike allowed me to live this past decade. This album did too.

Pillars of Eternity - OST; How beautiful is this though?

65 Days of Static - We Were Exploding Anyway; While listening to this a dancer told me "I wish I knew you during college."

Flume - Skin; Every Friday.

Caspian - Waking Season; Memories from a lot of late nights at work as a law clerk listening to this.

Cloud District - Don't Give Up, Skeleton; There's a lot to say about this album. Is she dead? Is that just the thinking because of a break up? Is she constructively dead because of substance abuse? Do the different answers to each even matter? The questions are there in each and everything song. The loss is the sole subject. Fuck shuffle playlists - this is what it means to make an album.

Lane 8 - Little by Little; I got stumped in analyzing this album. I didn't know where to put it. I went back and fourth. The final conclusion, before I drive myself crazy, is that it is here. But... it could easily be higher, even better than Rise. I'm stumped. It should be higher. I do not know why I'm not moving it higher. I can't think about it anymore.

Purity Ring - Another Eternity;

Heathered Pearls - Loyal;

Bonobo - Migration;

Phantogram - Eyelid Movies;

Loscil - Sea Island;

Odesza - A Moment Apart;

Minecraft - OST; It is fucking Minecraft why is this album so sad?

Bonobo - Black Sands;

Sufjan Stevens - Brooklyn-Queens Expressway; Technically 2009, but wasn't released until 2010. Sufjan Stevens is the objective, greatest musician of my generation.

Cloud Nothings - Attack on Memory;

Diz - Recall;

Glitch Mob - Drink the Sea.

SONG

I generally omited songs from the albums above. The albums are there because the songs are good. If I didn't do this it would be a duplicative category.

Lane 8 - Nothing You Can Say; Lane 8 is my favorite. This is the reason why. There is nothing you can say to change my mind.

Keep Shelly In Athens - Recollection; Uplifting, motivating, overcoming, reflective. This song is Lady Bird perfect.

Grimes - Oblivion/Genesis; God fuck me I just can't get enough of each of these, ever. So sad that Grimes is not Grimes anymore. This decade literally starting with me following and chatting with her on tumblr, it ended with her dating and smoking crack with a billionaire.

Warpaint - Undertow; She told me: "I have never heard anything like this before. I feel so inadequate."

El Ten Eleven - Transitions; What better song for a tribute love video to Josh?

This Will Destroy You - Quiet; Serious depression in law school 1L. I was terribly upset at the situation I found myself in, in the peers I found myself surrounded by. Thank you for this song.

Japandroids - Wet Hair;

M83 - Midnight City; This song originally didn't even make the list. But man, it deserves to be here.

Carpenter Brut - Turbo Killer;

The Roots - Right On;

Blackmill - Let It Be;

Yppah - Never Mess With Sunday;

Le Matos - Light Again/No Tomorrow;

Childish Gambino - This is America;

Justin Hurwitz - Epilogue;

XXYYXX - About You;

Mt Eden Dubstep - Prodigy : Omen;

TimeCop1983 - Dreams;

Glass Candy - Warm in the Winter;

Tokimonsta - Little Pleasures;

Madeon - Pop Culture;

Santogold - Go!.

RECORD

Yumi Zouma - The Brae (Kaito Remix). I refuse to list anything else after this. This record helped me through so much shit I can't even begin to go through it all. I still listen it to regularly today.

SET/MIX

Trance Around the World, 2010 - Guest Nitrous Oxide; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XSeBbGMHOk ;

This is probably the decade of sets for me. Good for riding my bike, good for studying, good for working. I can get lost in my thoughts while simeoultaneously rocking out. I've listened to a lot, a lot of sets. Trance Around the World, Group Therapy, Pure Trance, A State of Trance, LTN, Arctic Empire, recorded live sets, endless youtube mixes, endless soundcloud mixes...

There's something about this particular set of TATW that keeps bringing me back over and over and over. I just... I just really really like it. I've listened to this set probably 300+ times over the past 9 years.

Runner up is easily Tycho - Dazed mix. Phenomenal. After that probably Deadmau5 - Chill Music to Work To and then Only You Future Trap.

MOVIE

A Late Quartet; The quartet is a metaphor for all the same shit we all go through. Life interactions of: risk and reward, conflict and compromise, effort and gratification, all the variables of a group dynamic... I love this movie.

Citizenfour; Fuck Obama. And it's insane we get to be RIGHT FUCKING THERE as they expose the biggest threat to society, humanity, survivability ever. Imagine if you could be there during the Cuban Missile Crisis briefings. During the discussion of Hitler's Final Solution. During the discussion of Japanese Internment / nuking Nagasaki/Hiroshima. I can't believe we get to witness this shit.

Midnight in Paris; I debated whether or not this even made the list because Woody Allen. If I do not delete this later I guess it made it through my final edit.

Scott Pilgrim v. The World; "Chicken isn't vegan? It's milk and eggs, bitch."

Lady Bird; There has never been a more perfect movie. Objective and subjective, this movie is perfect.

Bradley Wiggins - A Year in Yellow; The scene where they wrap it all up in the moments before he begins his Time Trial. I'm not sure if anyone but competitive cyclists can even begin to understand how powerful that scene was.

La La Land; Funny story: I had no idea this was a musical when I first went to see it. And, literally, I thought the opening car scene was just a cameo for Ryan Gosling.

Blade Runner 2049; Probably the most underrated film of the decade to be honest.

Requiem for the American Dream;

Beginners;

Get Out;

Mad Max: Fury Road; This should probably be a lot, lot higher on the list.

Is the Man Who is Tall Happy?;

Kill the Messenger;

Ready Player One; Typical Spielberg, I know. A massive nostalgia ride, I know. But I still fucking loved this movie.

Leave No Trace; This movie is rough. It makes me so sad anytime I think about it. It's a movie, but it's real. "He" is in the northwestern forest right now, struggling on a day to day basis.

Edge of Tomorrow.

POLITICIAN

Ralph Nader.

TV SHOW

PARTY FUCKING DOWN. I'm going to list others even though I shouldn't: Game of Thrones (Seasons 1-6 only), Stranger Things (Season 1 only); Pillars of the Earth, Sharp Objects, Russian Doll, Whatever season of the Walking Dead that Carl finally fucking dies; Marvelous Maisel (Season 1 only).

FOOD

Tako bulgogi rice bowl; Ragu from Biba's cookbook; Mom's peanut chicken, Co-op chicken-brie sandwich, any banh-mi sandwich.

TRIP

General catch-all for Reno / Kauai.

MOMENT

Winning Stage 1 Mt. Hood;

Passing the bar;

Hermosa Beach;

General catch-all for Emma/Houdini/Sophie; I still remember, so vividly: the three months of endless agony bringing Emma back to life, Houdini being my law school cat, the exact moment Sophie cried and ran to her new human on day one.

Best friend's wedding;

General catch-all for leadouts;

Winning San Rafael.

BIGGEST LETDOWN

My stupid fucking Dad; ex-girlfriends; having to give away Emma (I still get manic-depressive attacks about this shit. I did the right thing, but fuck am I forever sad about it.); LSAT score.

ACTOR

Philip Seymour Hoffman; Jack Gleeson; Emma Stone; Lena Headey; Ryan Gosling.

VIDEO GAME

Skyrim; Smite; Path of Exile; Pillars of Eternity; Elder Scrolls Online; Divinity Original Sin 2; Don't Starve; XCOM; Planetside 2; Albion Online; Battle Brothers; Tropico 4; Dungeon Defenders.

BOOK

Chomsky - Who Rules the World?

ATHLETE

Daniel Fucking Holloway. Jesus christ what a decade for this guy... What an absolute clutch of a decade. Tokyo 2020 baby.

Goals for 2020-2029: Do not get stuck in a rut. Continue to improve, continue to learn, continue to try to be a better person than before. I want to meet old friends and I want them to tell me how much I have changed.

Parting Thoughts: My Dad is here, my Dad isn't here, I miss my Dad. I cannot stress enough how much I hate Obama - liberal misplaced love for him probably magnifies it. I love the dynamic of us. I do not want the tail-end of this decade to define who I am as a person. Capitalist state planning has directed me to a part-and-parcel life and made me a sub-servient wage slave. I fucking hate, I fucking hate, I fucking hate the rich.

#readmore

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bangtansdoc · 5 years ago

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It started with a kiss.

Pairings: Kim taehyung x reader.

Warnings: slight mentions of abandonment and blood, other than that, pure tooth rotting fluff!.

Genre: fluff, slight angst, fluff fluff fluff!!!

Word count: four thousand something something 😁😁😁. Ost: yayaya by urban zakapa ( Ost of hi! School love on)

Synopsis: you are a hopeless romantic who believed in the stuff of kdramas and as such had planned your first kiss to be something right out of a fairytale,but when those dreams are brutally crushed by a careless dare, chaos ensues. But will your chaotic feelings eventually turn into something else?

The handsome stranger walked towards you. He had strawberry pink hair, broad shoulders and the face of a literal Greek god. He was devastatingly handsome. You had glanced at him a few times as you stood by the pool with your canned coke at the freshman orientation party for Jaeguk University. You snuck glances at him as he stood with his friends and DANG, he was drop dead gorgeous, even in his flannel shirt and ankle length trousers.

And now he was walking up to you. You braced yourself for impact, rehearsing several scenarios in your head so as not to sound like a drunken mule when he finally arrived in front of you. You cleared your throat and opened your mouth to speak when he suddenly grabbed your waist and planted a soft kiss on your lips. People often said that when you were about to die , your whole life would flash before your eyes. Well, you might've as well been in a life or death situation with what this stranger had just done to you. Your whole life did flash, as you saw all your plans and dreams for your first kiss shattered right then and there. You had grown up in a conservative Christian home,where you had been taught a lot about love and with the help of several dramas and novels, had planned the perfect scenario for your first kiss. Your boyfriend or fiance who you were madly in love with, would kiss you beside a fountain as it erupted behind you and fireworks lit up a beautiful night sky. Cheesy yes, but it was your fantasy. The same fantasy that this handsome stranger had just stolen from you in a matter of seconds. Like you said earlier, he might've just killed you right then and there.

Anger welled up in you as you shoved him away violently. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!!" You yelled, getting the attention of most of the people around you, but you couldn't care less. The stranger looked taken aback. "Cool off girl. It was just a dare. And I had to kiss you."

OH. MY. GOD.

It was a dare?!!!!

This guy had just shattered your dreams and claimed the lips you had been saving for the nineteen years of your existence on Earth for a DARE?!!! You didn't know when your hand moved up and Gave him a hot slap across the cheek. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "What the actual hell?! Did you just slap me?!" "You have no idea what you just did!" Tears welled up in your eyes. "If I had a gun I would murder you right now!" You yelled again before storming off to shed the tears that were already spilling over, leaving the stranger dazed and confused in shock.

"You slapped him?!!" Mina , your best friend said to you in shock. Well more like yelled at you in shock. Mina was two years older then you and was in her second year at Jaeguk University. "Omo, omo" she said sheepishly as she giggled. "I can't believe you actually did that!" "Serves him right though." You growled, stuffing your face with rock candies. Upon getting to the apartment you and Mina shared, you had bawled your eyes out, unimaginable hatred filling you for that stranger, and as soon as Mina had arrived home, you had poured your heart out to her. Mina had been your best friend since grade school, and though she considered it childish, she knew how much and how important your first kiss was to you and she had shared your pain when she learnt that all your plans had been thwarted. "I don't even know what to do with myself anymore" you muttered miserably as you fell back on the bed. "I feel so used, so corrupted so..... Impure". Mina rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. I know how much this meant to you, but maybe..." You glared at her and she put her hands up in defense. "Just maybe ....you should take this as a sign."You groaned. "A sign of what?" "That there are just somethings you can't plan".

You walked groggily through the school lawn. One reason you had picked Jaeguk University was the stunning scenery. You were smack in the middle of summer now, and the dandelions, peaches and tulips burst out in a magnificent array of colours that painted the walkway the color of nature. You inhaled the sweet smell of the flowers, it bringing an earthly peace to your insides. You felt you could just lie there and paint the flowers all day. A deep, masculine voice brought you out of your bliss.

"Hey! Hey Y/N!"

You didn't know anyone fully yet, so you wondered how the owner of this voice knew your name. You spun around and saw the stranger that had kissed you bounding up to you. Your eyes saw red, and you quickly made the wise decision to ignore him as you were not sure you could control your emotions were you to engage him....but he persisted. "Y/N?! Y/N?! Hey I know it's you Y/N/L/N! Stop ignoring me! Hey!" You finally stopped and spun around sharply, bringing the stranger to an abrupt halt. He panted a little as you took in his features. He wore a bandana over his now light brown hair, he had hazel brown eyes that were deep and calculating, and though you "hated" him, his attractiveness sent shivers down your spine. "What do you want?" You asked through gritted teeth. "About the other day,... I'm sorry". Well you hadn't expected that. You felt yourself relenting but then you remembered that his apology wouldn't repair the damage done and your heart hardened. "I don't want your apology". You began to walk away. "Wha....hey wait up!" The stranger fell into pace with your hurried steps. "What do you mean you don't want my apology?" He asked, bewildered. "You seem to forget that you did hit me, but I'm willing to ignore that since I figured that I probably took you by surprise with that kiss". You scoffed inwardly and wanted to retort back at him but you kept your jaw wired shut. "And why are you so mad anyway? It was just a kiss, and not even a deep one at that. Or was it your first kiss or something?" You stopped dead in your tracks, trying to will your legs to move but they were rooted to the ground. The stranger's eyes widened. "It WAS your first kiss wasn't it? Wow". He laughed. "No wonder you got your insides all twisted up. Well at least now you've been kissed, and by me, the one and only Kim taehyung. Now you can boast to all your little friends that you are finally a woman".

The entire time the stranger- taehyung had been talking, your hands had balled into fists. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks until you could take no more of his mindless rantings. You burst.

"It was more than just a first kiss!! It was something special! Something meant to be shared with someone special! During a very special moment!!!! Notice how much I've said special?! Cos it's special to me!! It's something I've been planning my whole life!! It wasn't meant to be taken- stolen from me by an egotistical college celebrity wannabe who thinks he's all that when he's really nothing at all!!!" Taehyung had stared at you open mouthed the whole time you ranted, and now he scoffed. "Wow you really are dumber than you look aren't you? Wake up kid. This is the real world and not a kdrama. Who the heck plans a first kiss? Gosh, you're dorkier than I imagined". You went livid with anger. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!!!". He smirked as he inched closer to you. "I called you a dork, dork". You raised your hand to hit him again but he reacted quickly and grabbed your hand before it made contact with his face. "Don't you even dare. I had to use multiple ice packs to ease the pain of your last outburst". He scowled before pushing your hand back with force, causing you to stumble. He then began to walk away. "Yaaaaa!!!!! KIM TAEHYUNG!!! This is not over!!! You won't ever get away with this! I will hate you for the rest of my life!" With his back still turned to you, he rose up his hand and gave you the middle finger. You had a list of people that you wished would die in a freak accident or get eaten by a shark, like the men that had molested your younger sister when she was twelve and the woman that had hit you with a car and run off, and now KIM TAEHYUNG HAD JUST MADE THE LIST.

"I really don't wanna go Mina". It had been a month since your incident with taehyung and you had rarely seen him around campus. The oh - so brief moments you two had crossed paths were filled with dirty looks and rude gestures. Mina had fallen head over heels with a third year criminal law student, Kim Namjoon. He had by wooing her for a while now and she was biding her time with him to see how things would go. Eventually she had reciprocated his feelings and they were to go on their first date the coming Saturday. However, Mina was extremely nervous and as she didn't want to mess up her date, had convinced Namjoon to make it a double date, thus setting you up on a blind date with one of Namjoon's friends. You really wished she had asked your opinion first as you weren't really into blind dates and you really needed to study. You tried to weasel your way out of it. "Pleeeeeease Y/N. I need you. Just do this one thing for me Hun? If I'm alone with Namjoon I might say something stupid and he'll think I'm crazy. You have to help me" . You rolled your eyes. You knew you were eventually gonna say yes. She was your best friend after all, and she really liked this guy so you decided to just tough it out. "Fine. I'll help you". Mina smothered you in a hug. "Thank you so much!" She said and planted a kiss on your cheeks. "I love you!" She said and you chuckled to yourself.

Saturday came quickly and you soon found yourself preparing for your double date. Even though you were doing it for Mina, it still was a date after all, one of the rarest occurrences in your nineteen year life, so you tried to look pretty, touching up your make up, and styling your hair. You stared at your reflection in the mirror and smiled. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all. The sound of the doorbell interrupted your thoughts. "They're here!" Mina screeched as you both ran to the door, she took a deep breath and opened it . A tall, blonde haired man smiled at her. "Hi Namjoon oppa" she greeted and Namjoon greeted back. You initially focused all your attention on the man in front of you so you didn't notice the person behind him. When you finally did, your purse clattered to the ground and your eyes widened in shock. "Oh hell no". You sputtered as the person's eyes met yours and contorted in surprise. "He's my date? Oh hell-to- the - no". You said as you rushed back into the room with Mina hurrying in after you. "Y/N! What's the matter?" You sat on the bed and began to take off your shoes. "That guy, Namjoon's friend, my blind date,..." You almost puked at the thought. "...is KIM TAEHYUNG". Mina sat beside you. "Oh God. Oh God. I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I'll tell Namjoon that the date is off and...." "You'll do no such thing". You said finally. "You're right. You didn't know. And I'm not going to let my feelings ruin your date." Mina smiled sympathetically as she hugged you. "Thank you so much". " Now stop feeling guilty. You just enjoy your date and don't worry about me." You said again as you both walked out the room door and back to taehyung and Namjoon who looked like they had both had the same conversation you and Mina had had in the bedroom. Taehyung glanced at you for a second, but his expression was unreadable. Namjoon led Mina to his car leaving you to walk in step with taehyung."Now we're both doing this for our friends so let's try to be civil." You started. "I believe we can both put aside our differences and..." Taehyung interrupted you by putting earphones into his ears and walking off into the backseat of the car. You sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Overall the night had gone pretty well, if one ignored the popcorn fight you and taehyung had at the movies. And now you were both squeezed in the backseat of Namjoon's car , staring at anything but each other as you headed home. You stared outside at the raindrops that pelted the ash roads. "The winds picking up" Namjoon said as he turned the corner to your apartment block. You had noticed also that it was raining rather heavily for a night in August. Namjoon pulled up at your apartment, just as lightning flashed and the pouring rains threatened to penetrate the covering of the car. "So, here we are". Namjoon said coyly. "Yes here we are." Mina repeated after him and you rolled your eyes. They both obviously wanted some privacy. From the look on taehyung's face, it looked like he had picked up on that too. "We'll both go inside and get a drink or something." He finally looked at you. "You have a key right?" You felt like replying sarcastically but held your tongue. You smiled forcefully at him instead. "Yes I have a key". You both got out of the car and you glanced back for a brief second in time to see Namjoon smile at Mina warmly as she shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. You couldn't help the pang of jealousy that bit at your insides. Namjoon was a great guy, you were sure, from your brief interactions with him. At Least he could've brought any other friend, but instead he stuck you with Kim - hell - of - a - jerk - taehyung. You sighed and wondered if constant sighing was bad for your health.

Taehyung plopped down on your couch while you tried to lock the door. You scoffed inwardly at how quick he was in getting comfortable in another person's home. "You guys got anything good to watch?" He asked. "We literally just came back from watching a movie". "Well you were bugging me the whole time so I could barely concentrate, hogging all the popcorn." He said matter of factly. You made your way to the stash of DVDS by your TV.( Mina's parents were lawyers and had furnished your apartment with all the essentials) "I've got some good horror classics. You a fan of the exorcist?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "You like horror?" You raised an eyebrow. "Yeah" "Hmm". Now you raised both eyebrows. "What do you mean by....." Your words were cut short by a sudden clasp of thunder, a loud crash followed by an equally loud scream. Your mind immediately went to Mina and Namjoon who were sitll in the car. As if on cue, both of them yanked the front door open and tumbled into the apartment. "What happened?!" You and taehyung yelled. Namjoon took a deep breath to calm himself. "An electric pole fell on the car." "Oh my God are you both okay?" You said , as you began to worriedly inspect Mina's arms and legs. "We're fine. But there's no way we can get home now even if we wanted to. It'd be crazy to go out in this rain" . "Rain? More of a storm". Taehyung said, looking out the window. "Hyung, so we're stuck here?" He asked, incredulous. "For now. We just have to wait it out". Taehyung groaned loudly and you quickly tried to liven up everyone's moods. "Why don't we all just make ourselves comfy? I'll go whip us up a cup of hot chocolate. I was about to watch a movie with taehyung. We can use it to pass the time." Your plan looked like it had had the desired effect. Namjoon took off his coat, Mina her heels, as they both plopped down on the settee beside taehyung while you smiling, made your way to the kitchenette. You noticed taehyung staring at you as you did.

"Oh God I've got to use the bathroom". Taehyung said as you glared at him, obviously annoyed. You were all squeezed in on the settee as the movie rolled the ending credits. Taehyung had constantly whimpered and squealed during the entire movie that you were unable to enjoy it. You tried to conceal your irritation. "So?". He turned his head to face you. "So, sassy, I can't go alone". "Why?" "Cos your stupid movie freaked me out!". "If you knew you were easily scared why did you watch it?". He furrowed his brows together, confused and you noticed how cute he looked that way. "Well what kinda man gets scared of a horror movie?". Ugh. You face palmed yourself. "A you kinda man. Obviously". You stated, frustrated. "Well the point is you have to follow me" "I AM not following you into the bathroom....". "Geez girl you don't have to follow me all the way....". He said and smirked and you almost lost your hot chocolate. "You can just Stand outside the door while I do my business". "The answer remains NO". Taehyung frowned , staring at you intensely, and you honestly thought he was going to kiss you again. He suddenly burst out, whining like a child and grabbing your arm. "Ah c'mon Y/N! Please please please please please!!" "Okay fine just please stop that racket!!!" "Ha ha". Taehyung laughed and gave you the most heavenly boxy smile you had ever seen. You led him to your bathroom and stood outside the the door. You had a good mind to lock him in and switch off the lights but decided against it. Your mind wandered back to when he had been pestering you. He had been so close to you. You found yourself not getting repulsed at the thought of him kissing you again. You felt your cheeks grow hot. "Wait what am I thinking? I barely even know this guy, and I hate him. Right?" Taehyung opened the door and smiled at you. Whomp. There went your resolve. He stared at you for a while. "What?" You choked out. "You Know Y/N, you're pretty cute when you're not being sassy". Your whole body trembled but you hid it by Rolling your eyes. "And you're pretty cute when you're not going off kissing random people". Taehyung gave a genuine and hearty laugh. "You're not so bad after all Y/N ".

You made your way through the canopies and the throngs of people at the orphanage. You were on semester break and you were volunteering at the seungri orphanage for their fundraiser. You hadn't seen taehyung since that night of the storm and you couldn't say you hadn't missed him. Something had changed in you since that night and you found yourself thinking about him one too many times. "Y /N! Is that you?" Great. Now you were imagining his voice as well. "Hey Y/N!" Taehyung appeared in front of you looking excited. "Didn't you hear me calling you?" You stared at him, stunned. "What are you doing here?" His face fell. "Well hello to you too." He paused. "I work here". "At the orphanage?". "No, at the carnival. Of course the orphanage dummy". He say and poked your head. You rubbed the spot. "I'm a volunteer here. I stopped for a while because of school, but when I heard they were having a fundraiser I decided to help out". "Wow that's amazing. I volunteer here too. I love kids...." His eyes widened in the most beautiful way. "Really? Me too! I mean who doesn't? But i love them so much. I plan on having at least three when I get married." You chuckled as you began to walk in step with him. "Wow." You said, genuinely amazed. "I never pictured you...." "As a kid person? Yeah I thought so." You laughed again. Taehyung suddenly reached out to grab your wrists. "look Y/N, about the kiss from before..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm really sorry. And for all the things I said to you. I should've respected you more." He looked at you keenly. You gulped. You had to get away from him before you lost all your senses. You quickly tried to say something so he wouldn't think his apology wasn't accepted. "It's fine really taehyung I...." You were interrupted by a scream that rang through the air. There was a commotion as people ran towards the source of the scream, you and taehyung as well. You arrived at a clearing where a woman and two nurses were crouched down in the soil. You angled your neck and tried to look over people's heads and bodies, and suddenly you froze. There, half buried in the soil was a baby. The baby was covered in red spots and bloody bruises, possibly ant bites. The baby probably wouldn't have been more than three months old and was crying it's lungs out. The women struggled to get the baby out and you found yourself joining them, tears already dripping from your eyes.

It was dark . You sat on a bench in the park. The baby had been rescued safely. He was alive, but barely. He had been rushed to the ICU at the nearest hospital. You wondered how a person could do something so despicable. The tears started pooling again as you imagined the amount of pain he must've gone through and the more to probably follow. You began to wish God had just taken him instead. "No". You said. Wiping your tears. "He deserves to live, he should live happily and survive no matter what you show that wretched person who threw him away". "Hey, you okay?" Taehyung said as he sat beside you. He offered you a grape soda which you accepted gratefully . Earlier, you had bawled your eyes out in front of him and he had hugged you tightly, whispering words of comfort. "Mina called. I told her you were okay and that I'd bring you home later." He chuckled lightly. "She was surprised that you were with me". You sniffed and smiled. "I'm sorry you had to see me that way. And thank you for staying with me. I just- I lost my cool when I saw him...." You began to choked and taehyung moved closer and cupped your face in his hands. "Hey, hey no more tears. You are just very caring about others and that's a great virtue not many people have." His face was inches away From yours now. You looked up and locked eyes with him. "Thanks". You said quietly. Taehyung's expression was unreadable. His eyes darted to your lips and then he leaned in. You shot up quickly. "Wh- what do you think you're doing?" He stood up after you. "I like you Y/N." He said and your heart nearly burst out of your ribcage. "I don't know when, how or even the hell why, but I do". You began to gasp for breath before you turned round and took to your heels.

School had resumed and winter was fast approaching. You had avoided taehyung like the plague. He had gotten your number from Mina and called you but you avoided him and his calls. So far your strategy had worked but now he was approaching you. You searched for somewhere to duck and hide but he was faster. He grabbed your arm before you could make a run for it. "Why have you been avoiding me?" He asked. "Why wouldn't I?" "Who the heck runs away from a confession?!" "Well I wasn't expecting it!". Taehyung sighed. "You're going for lunch right? Have lunch with me." "No way..." " I'm buying". You began to nod slowly and taehyung snorted. "Cheapskate. Follow me". He led you to the school's water fountain and you sat on the white bench erected by it. He handed you a soda which he conveniently had in his bag and took one for himself. Something was fishy. Taehyung noticed your countenance. "Before you ask, Mina gave me your class schedule." "That crazy wench...." " But only because we really needed to finally talk this out". He paused. "Do you like me?" You choked. "What- what kind of question..." "It's either one of two things, either you're avoiding me because you still hate me and don't want things to get awkward or you're avoiding me because you do like me as well." You stared at your knees. "You can't force an answer out of me." "I just want you to admit it" . You looked up and met his gaze. You saw the sincerity in his eyes and you relented. "Yes I do like you Kim taehyung". Taehyung sighed and smirked. "See? Now that wasn't so hard was it?" You chuckled and he stared at you intensely. You knew in that moment he was going to try and kiss you again. And this time you weren't going to stop him. Seeing this taehyung smiled and captured your lips in his. He cupped your face in his hands and carresssed your cheeks softly. You didn't really know what to do so you ran your fingers through his hair and he sighed into the kiss. All of a sudden, the fountain behind you erupted, sprinkling water on you both. Taehyung broke the kiss and laughed. "Well you wanted a magical first kiss and you got one." You smiled and sipped your soda. "It wasn't the scenery or event that made the kiss special, but the person." Taehyung's face broke into a wide smile as he raised his soda bottle in cheers. "Well, I will most definitely drink to that."

Wow! This took a long time to complete. Thank God it's done. I'll be back with another fic titled into the light. I'll also make a request box/ ask me once I can figure out how. Hope you all enjoyed the story. I didn't know it would be this long 😁😁😁. BTW, I usually have osts( original sound tracks) for all my pics. They're kinda like songs that play in my head while writing a fic If you get what I mean. anywayyyy write them at the top of each fic and you can check them out if you'd like. I would add a link if I knew how to. Bye!

#bangtanfluffs #kim taehyung #enemies to lovers au #college au #blind date #bts taehyung #bts fic

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hoppipollaitalia · 5 years ago

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Schedule 2019

LUGLIO

15 - Rilascio della OST Part 3 “POISON” per il drama '검법남녀 시즌2' (Partner for Justice 2) (I’ll)

17 - Conferenza Stampa - uffici JTBC, Sangam-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul

20 - Green Plugged Donghae 2019, 14:40 PM - 14:20 KST (7:40 - 8:20 🇮🇹)

23 - JTBC 라디오가 없어서 // Dazed Korea - Numero di Agosto (Hyunsang)

26 - Choi Hwa Jung's Power Time, 12:30 PM - 14:00 KST (5:30 - 7:00 tra la mattina del 25 e 26 🇮🇹)

28 - 2019 Busan International Rock Festival

AGOSTO

3 - Superband Concert, Seoul - Hwajeong Gymnasium, Korea University, 15:00 // 19:30 KST (due esibizioni alle 8:00 // 12:30 🇮🇹)

4 - Nylon Talk Live - Rise Hotel 20:00 KST (13:00 🇮🇹) // Jinho Hong Cello Recital - Kukje Art Hall KST 17:30 (10:30 🇮🇹)

9 - Seoul Creator Week 2019 - Coex C Hall, 11:00 - 12:00 KST (4:00 - 5:00 🇮🇹)

10 - Superband Concert, Gwangju - Kim Dae-Jung Convention Center, 19:30 KST (12:30 🇮🇹)

12 - Jinho Hong Cello Recital - Kukje Art Hall, 19:30 KST (12:30 🇮🇹)

17 - Superband Concert, Busan - KBS Busan Hall, 15:00 // 19:30 KST (due esibizioni, 8:00 // 12:30 🇮🇹) // Nylon Korea Magazine - Numero di Settembre (I’ll)

18 - 2019 Peace Concert 'Dream a dream' - KBS Hall, 17:40 KST (10:40 🇮🇹) // Volume Up Radio con Suhyun degli AKMU (Youngso), 20:00 - 22:00 KST (13:00 - 15:00 🇮🇹)

20 - Evento lancio dello smarthphone "#SKT5GX Galaxy Note 10" di SK Telecom - Woori Financial Art Hall, 8:00 kst (1:00 🇮🇹)

24 - Superband Concert, Suwon - Kyung Hee University Gymnasium, 15:00 // 19:30 KST (due esibizioni, 8:00 // 12:30 🇮🇹)

27 - Registrazione esibizione per il 오롯이 당신 (Concert for You) di MBC Dejeon - Dejeon O-World (I’ll)

31 - Someday Festival - Nanji Hangang Park (Nanji Han River Park), 16:00 - 17:40 (9:00 - 10:40 🇮🇹) // Hwaseong Harmony Summer Party, Gyeonggi-do - Dongtan Yeoul Park, 19:00 KST (12:00 🇮🇹)

SETTEMBRE

7 - Play the Guitar 2019 - Olympic Hall Muse Live alle 16:00 KST (9:00 🇮🇹) (Youngso) // Kim Jibeom Zeebomb solo concert (Retro Soul King) guest speciale Ha Hyunsang - Rolling Hall, 18:00 KST (11:00 🇮🇹) // Rilascio della OST part 5 “Moonlight” per il drama “멜로가 체질” (Be Melodramatic) (Hyunsang)

8 - Superband Concert, Daegu - EXCO 5th floor, 19:30 KST (12:30 🇮🇹)

9 - Registrazione esibizione al programma “Immortal Songs 2″ - KBS Hall, 18:00 KST (11:00 🇮🇹)

10 - Messa in onda dell’esibizione di I’ll al 오롯이 당신 (Concert for You) di MBC Dejeon, 22:00 KST (15:00 🇮🇹)

14 - Compleanno di Hyunsang

21 - Welcome to I’ll Land (I'll 1st Fanmeeting in Seoul) - Unjeong Green Campus Auditorium (Sungshin Women’s University), 17:00 KST·(10:00 🇮🇹)

23 - Registrazione esibizione al programma “Immortal Songs″ - KBS New Wing Hall

28 - Messa in onda dell’episodio di “Immortal Songs″ - KBS 2, 18:00 KST (11:00 🇮🇹) // SMUF (Seoul Music Festival) Legend - Gwanghwamun Square Main Stage, 20:00 - 22:00 KST (13:00 - 15:00 🇮🇹) // Be Melodramatic OST part 8 “Moonlight Cello Version” (Jinho)

OTTOBRE

3 - Student meeting - Lila Art High School (Hyunsang)

4 - Rilascio della OST part 3 “Breaking Dawn" di I’ll per il drama Vagabond, 18:00 KST (11:00 🇮🇹)

5 - Messa in onda dell’episodio di “Immortal Songs 2″ - KBS 2, 18:00 KST (11:00 🇮🇹)

12 - 2019 Yangyang Surfing Festival - Dongsan Port Beach / Jukdo Beach, 18:00 - 20:00 KST (11:00 - 13:00 🇮🇹)

26 - Compleanno di Youngso

27 - Guitarist Kim Youngso Solo Concert “TEENAGE FANTASY” - Unjeong Green Campus Auditorium (Sungshin Women's University), 17:00 KST (9:00 🇮🇹)

NOVEMBRE

1 - 2° anniversario del rilascio del singolo Are You There

2 - 2019 HA HYUN SANG 1ST FAN MEETING [THE FIRST] - Muv Hall, 14:00/19:00 KST (6:00/11:00 🇮🇹)

3 - Hong Jinho Cello Concert - Kumho Art Hall Yonsei, 19:30 KST (11:30 🇮🇹) // Rilascio singolo “US” di Hyunsang, 18:00 KST (10:00 🇮🇹)

6 - Partecipazione di I’ll al programma radiofonico “Lee Seung Yeol’s Music Travel” di EBS FM, 14:00 KST (7:00 🇮🇹) ~

7 - Concert KBS Open Concert @ BIXPO 2019 - Universiade Gymnasium (Gwangju Women's University), 19:30 KST (11:30 🇮🇹)

9 - KBS Immortal Songs Concert - Seoul Olympic Park Olympic Hall, 21:00 KST (13:00 🇮🇹)

10 - Recital di Jinho al Culture Arts Career - Experience Festival — Do it all! What you want - Dawon Leumteo Center, Dongtan Hwaseong , 15:00 - 16:00 KST (7:00 - 8:00 🇮🇹)

13 - Compleanno di I’ll

16 - Rilascio del singolo di debutto “About Time”, 18:00 (10:00 🇮🇹) // Esibizione ai "2019 Vlive Awards VHeartbeat" - Gocheok Sky Dome, 19:00 KST (11:00 🇮🇹)

17 - Messa in onda del KBS Open Concert con I’ll del 7/11 - KBS1, 17:40 KST (9:40 🇮🇹) 2° Anniversario del debutto di I’ll

22 - 2° Anniversario del debutto di I’ll // Anniversario del rilascio di “Maybe We Are” // Registrazione episodio per il programma “Two Yoo Project - Sugar Man 3” di JTBC

DICEMBRE

2 - Registrazione della puntata di “Immortal Songs 2019 King of the Kings” - KBS New Wing Hall

4 - Guest programma radiofonico “Lee Seung Yeol’s Music Travel” di EBS FM - EBS Radio Open Studio, 14:00 - 16:00 KST (6:00 - 8:00 🇮🇹)

6 - Messa in onda dell’episodio di "Two Yoo Project - Sugarman 3" - JTBC, 21:00 KST (13:00 🇮🇹)

13 - Rilascio del libro “Schumann’s Advice to Young Musicians” letto da Jinho su Millie’s Library + video dell’ntervista

14 - Concerto “For Ennio Morricone”, Hong Jinho & Lee Nau - Lotte Concert Hall, 15:00 e 20:00 KST (7:00 // 12:00 🇮🇹), con l’orchestra Arts Symphony Orchestra // Messa in onda di “Immortal Songs 2019 King of the Kings” Parte 1. - KBS2

15 - Hyunsang guest speciale al concerto dei Gift “Gift’s Room” - Ewha Womans University Samsung Hall, alle 18:00 KST (10:00 🇮🇹) // Youngso partecipa al programma radiofonico "Jeong Sewoon's Listening" di EBS RADIO, alle 22:00 KST (14:00 🇮🇹)

18 - Messa in onda del replay del 12° episodio di Superband - JTBC, 16:30 (8:30 🇮🇹)

19 - Messa in onda del replay del 13° episodio di Superband - JTBC, 16:30 (8:30 🇮🇹)

20 - Messa in onda del replay del 14° episodio di Superband - JTBC, 16:30 (8:30 🇮🇹)

21 - Messa in onda di “Immortal Songs 2019 King of the Kings” Parte 2. - KBS2

22 - Concerto solista di Youngso 'Last Fantasy' - WoonJung Green Campus Auditorium (Sungshin Women's University), 17:00 KST (9:00 🇮🇹)

25 - Superband Top 3 Concert - Busan BEXCO Exhibition Center 1 // (I'll, Hyunsang, Youngso) "Good Morning FM It's Jang Sunggyu" di MBC Radio, 7:00 - 9:00 KST (23:00 - 1:00 🇮🇹)

28 - Superband Top 3 Concert - Seoul Jamsil Indoor Stadium

29 - Superband Top 3 Concert - Seoul Jamsil Indoor Stadium

La schedule può essere soggetta a modifiche in qualsiasi momento.

#schedule #schedule 2019

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premierjvalrie · 6 years ago

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Serenade To Death Day 1: From Inkwell To Buena Tierra Part 2

Location: The USS Iron Bull, Off The Coast Imandy (Basically Normandy)

Time: 1:00 PM

Year: June 7th 19XX.

OST: What Do We Do Now...

It was the day that every soldier got excited for the day they’ll see combat before. On this day every soldier that was young only will remember the visions of blood.. and hell. Even for one person.. Henri Richardson. Earlier, before the soldiers got into their amphibious vehicles. When boarding Henri and his friends saw the destruction first-hand. Some were in awe, others in horror, and most of them who were younger possibly from high school who had visions of glory and honor dissolved like salt in water.

Finally as the boat began near the drop off point enemy artillery struck some of the friendly vehicles that were traveling next to him as some of them started to whimper in fear. Others getting themselves ready. Henri knelt upon and started to pray.

“Father, I know I have not prayed to you before... but please.. keep myself and the brothers that stand here with me today alive. Also give my prayer to my wife and my childhood friend Rhode Woolfrein please keep her safe no matter what. In the name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Amen.” the young mouse said standing up as the minute they reached the ground and drop doors opening..

The landing party Henri was with was met with fire and fury...

“Dear fucking God!!!” One of Henri’s friends said as he ran out alongside the mouse and his unit.

“Go! Go! Go!!!” The Richardson shouted running across the beach looking around and dodging incoming enemy artillery shells,bullets, and grenades. The enemy was relentless and brutal. For Henri he NEEDED to survive.

Reaching the enemy sandbags Henri and 4 of his friends made it as they all took a breather and took a moment to allow their brains to process what they just witnessed. Finally Henri looked and saw another friend of his Johnson Wolfenstein.. running and possibly fell behind.

Finally what all of Henri’s friends witnessed together... would leave them horrified for the rest of their lives..

BOOOOOM

An artillery shell struck the Wolf from behind causing 3 of Henri’s friends to scream out his name as the mouse himself rushed to his allies aid dragging him only to Henri’s horror to Johnsons’ legs... were... oh dear god.. gone.

“A-A-Am I.... Ok.... Please tell me I’m Ok.. Henri... Henri... Henri!!!” The wold said as it devolved to a womans voice

Location: Coast of the Buena Tierra Sea, S.S Oceanspeeder.

Time: 12:00 PM

Year: 193X (Present Time)

OST: A Mouse and a Pin In Love

Finally, Henri Richardson who was now much older than his 19 year old counterpart in the war snapped out of his daze of staring at the photo of his friends when they were together in the war as he looked to his left seeing his fiance... Rhode Woolfrein. His Love and Joy, his childhood friend, and now his wife. She was dressed up in elegant-yet casual clothing for this event

“Oh Rhode, I apologize.. I was in a daze again. Its just feels like years since I was on a boat like this.. this time without all the-” He spoke feeling a gentle caress of Rhode’s hand on his back.

“Henri, I’m here now. Your a war hero.. and you’ve done many great things to defend Inkwell. You have such pure memories you hold onto. Don’t forget about them Henri...” Rhode said with a gentle smile on her face leaning in to kiss her soon-to-be husband as he returned the kiss

“You have so much that you have, You have me, your son Benjamin and Squeak, Pinelope, and a long family lineage... I’m proud of you for accepting this vacation for once Henri.” she said with a soft smile.

“Aye.. I’m 51 years old and well I ain’t gettin any younger any more.” Henri said hugging Rhode and kissing her with a soft smile on his face as placed the photo of him and his lads in his jacket pocket.

HERE IT IS Part 2 of the Serenade to The Death event for @toonstudios12 this time we take a glimpse back into Henri’s war days when he was just 19 years old and to be honest.. it wasn’t fun for him...and as we jump back to the past Henri was reminiscing on it until @bobapplesims Rhode was able to snap him out of it.

Now then.. onto day 2! Arriving at Buena Tierra.. with another Lyric Comic (DEAR GOD HELP ME)

The event is hosted by @toonstudios12

Rhode belongs to @bobapplesims

Henri Richardson belongs to me

#serenadetothedeathevent #SerenadeToDeath #PJ Writes #Cuphead OC's #Cuphead Event

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bux-n-azu · 3 years ago

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Rules: Tag 10 followers you want to get to know better!

Tagged by: @tazmilyxfamily

Tagging: @aplushemporium, @electricea and anyone who wants to use it

Name: Sto (Pronounced Stu) No that isn't my real name fuck you

Star Sign: Cancer

Height: 5′9

Middle name?: not giving it out

Put your itunes/spotify/youtube on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?

iFlicky - Psychic, Wilter, and Uproar

Jump Out EX - Bob & Bosip OST

iFlicky - "Uproar" ft. longestsoloever | Friday Night Funkin' Mind Games Mod OST

Sky - Vs. Sky Friday Night Funkin’ Mod OST - by b/bpanzu

DROWNING | Annie VS Daddy Dearest (Friday Night Funkin' Mod)

School (Custom/Fanmade Song)

(yes these are all fnf songs SHUT UP IM 14-)

Grab one book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17?:

PANG (from Bad Kitty: Camp Daze yes i still read those yes this is a sound effect and technically not a line)

Ever had a poem or song written about you: no lol

When was the last time you played air guitar: never do it because i feel like a dumbass when i do

Who is your celebrity crush?: don't have one lol

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?:

I don't think i have one??? random glass shattering noises are either funny to me or concerning depending on the context

Do you believe in ghosts?:

no but i like the concept of ghosts. i believe in an afterlife tho!

How about aliens?:

i don't (says the guy with 2 ocs that are literally fucking aliens-)

Do you drive? if so have you ever crashed? :

no haven't learned how to

What was the last book you read?:

Bad Kitty: Camp Daze

Do you like the smell of gasoline?:

Kinda?? it smells ok but i feel like sniffing too much of the scent makes you sick or whatever so I'm kinda split on wether or not i like the smell

What was the last movie you saw?:

idk??

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?:

one time back in middle school i twisted my ankle. It healed tho. Either that or that one time i got bit by a dog in the leg when i was young

Do you have any obsessions right now?:

don't know if i would call it an obsession but funky Friday and ragdoll universe lookin pretty fixatable rn. tbh funky Friday is the reason why i haven't really been active on here lately

#stoopidrppalace #ooc #munday #meme #tag meme

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lollipop1141 · 7 years ago

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MY LIFE SOUNDTRACK

Rules: Turn your iPhone/iTouch/Any MP3 player on shuffle and answer these questions along with the following songs.

1. Opening Credits 07 闇色アリス clear 2. Waking Up Scene I Love You – Alex and Sierra 3. Getting Ready Scene 01 Ｃａｌｃ．clear 4. Car Driving Scene Just Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble 5. High School Flashback Scene I Wish – Milky Bunny 6. Nostalgic Scene Falling Down - Oasis 7. Angry Scene Tell Your World – Hatsune Miku 8. Agony, Painful Scene West Coast Friendship – Owl City 9. Break-up Scene Long Gone and Moved On – The Script (dang) 10. Sad, Breakdown Scene 【ろん】僕みたいな君　君みたいな僕 -arrange ver.- 　歌ってみた【そらる】 11. Nightclub/Dance Scene The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver – All Time Low 12. Buddy/Sidekick Scene Kisaragi Attention - AI 13. Dreaming of Someone Scene 三葉のテーマ - RADWIMPS 14. Contemplation Scene Imagine – John Lennon 15. Love Scene はじめての東京 RADWIMPS 16. Kissing Scene デートYour Name ost 17. Relaxing Scene Kagerou Daze – Hatsune Miku 18. Action/Fight Scene Demons – Imagine Dragons 19. Victory Scene If These Sheets Were The States – All Time Low 20. Closing Credits White Winter Hymnal – Pentatonix Ver.

#me #survey #lots of japanese songs there I see

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littlefoot83 · 7 years ago

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#101ReasonsWhyWeLoveSuspiciousPartner

1. Nam ji hyun

2. The fact that this is jcw first romcom

3. Eun bong hee’s girl power

4. Nam ji hyun’s taekwando skills

5. Nam ji hyun’s radiant megawatt smile

6. Nam ji hyun’s dancing queen skills

7. How eun bong hee is NEVER your damsel in distress

8. Eun bong hee’s chic blazer and shorts lawyer fashion

9. Eun bong hee’s cute and trendy bags

10. Eun bong hee’s diary

11. Eun bong hee’s bright yellow luggage

12. Eun bong hee’s perseverance and unmatched dedication

13. Eun bong hee’s inspiring road to being a lawyer

14. How bong hee seamlessly reflects and express my own reaction to every situation she’s in

15. No ji wook’s smexy Mr. Prosecutor hair style

16. Jcw irresistible kissable lips

17. How jcw turn every walking scene into an instant fashion runway

18. No ji wook the real-life/living anime character

19. No ji wook’s back view

20. No ji wook’s side view

21. No ji wook with his oversized spectacles

22. No ji wook’s toy collection

23. No ji wook’s aegyo

24. No ji wook’s puppy dog eyes

25. Sweaty no ji wook and eun hyuk

26. Jibong Uh Jjoo rabbit couple dolls

27. No ji wook’s house

28. No ji wook’s house’s interior design

29. No ji wook the neat freak

30. No ji wook the master chef

31. Eun bong hee’s sincerest and purest crush turned love for no ji wook

32. No ji wook’s sweetest devotion to bong hee

33. How completely smitten jcw towards njh

34. How jibong couple can perfectly read each other despite their wanting communication skills

35. That scene when bong hee was dazed watching njw sleep

36. That tear-jerker scene when bh said ‘what’s with this breakup emotions’

37. That scene when bong hee was upgraded from humanity to hostage XD

38. That scene when njw checked if bong hee was alright after being throat gripped by evil da

39. When no ji wook said bong hee was messy but pretty

40. Jcw’s galawang james reid in every single bts with nam ji hyun #jadine #jibong

41. How Jcw and nam ji hyun are destined to be together in sp

42. Jcw and njh jiji couple astounding chemistry

43. Feel good easy breezy atmosphere at the set

44. Did-they-or-did-they-not scene part 1

45. Did-they-or-did-they-not scene part 2 on reverse

46. Jiji couple’s touchy-feely every single bts

47. Sp director-nim’s laugh

48. Sp director-nim himself

49. Sp writer-nim except for the last two weeks X)

50. Jibong heart-wrenching first kiss #thebestestbestfirstkissever

51. Jibong’s first kiss’ bts #almost2Mviewsonyt

52. Jibong kiligity millisecond kiss

53. Jibong passionate full-circle kiss

54. Jibong first night together

55. Jibong hospital kiss

56. Jibong hospital kiss’ bts

57. Jibong hugs unlimited

58. Jcw fluffy lip habit X)

59. Njw/jcw electric shock gaze towards ebh/njh

60. How no ji wook is wired to care for bong hee unconditionally

61. Bong hee is the first to fall in love but ji wook is the one who finds it more difficult to live without bong hee

62. Eun hyuk and bong hee’s regular consultation

63. Eun hyuk and bong hee’s bff goals

64. Eun hyuk’s undaunted devotion towards ji wook

65. Eun hyuk and ji hae chemistry

66. Ji hae’s cute and tear-jerker crush towards eun hyuk

67. Eun hyuk’s double edged laugh

68. Ceo byun’s fool-proof antics

69. Ceo byun’s uncanny ability to turn every serious moment into a lighthearted one

70. Ceo byun being so adorably cute doing household chores

71. No ji wook’s petty jealousy

72. Jibong couple cute and hilarious cat fights

73. Chief bang as the president of jibong otp fandom

74. Chief bang’s exceptional investigation skills

75. Chief bang reflecting jibong otp fans’ reaction for every jibong fluff

76. Dream team’s pointless meetings

77. Bong hee successfully proving the wrongfully accused mother/son

78. Ji hae’s transition from evil/rel’p breaker to real friend

79. Bong hee and ji hae bonding over their cry fest

80. Chan ho’s doe eyes

81. Chan ho’s uncanny resemblance with keannu reeves

82. Chan ho’s honey voice

83. Ra.d the same way ost

84. Cheeze how about you ost

85. Kim EZ eye contact ost

86. Bumkey breathing all day ost

87. Dong ha’s brilliant multiple personality acting

88. Hyun soo the meticulous and genius villain

89. Hyun soo the villain we love to hate and love to root for

90. How bong hee announced the start of their first day as jibong couple

91. How cute jibong were on their first official day

92. Ji wook’s tolerance and devotion towards drinking bong hee’s bitter tea

93. The beautiful balance between fluff and suspense in every episode

94. Bong hee’s mom

95. Ji wook’s mom

96. Jibong’s first date

97. Ji wook confessing about their rel’p to their moms

98. Chief bang and eun hyuk’s ‘act surprised’ silliness

99. Jibong being old school. No sns.

100. Bong hee loves to write in her diary

101. Ji wook loves to listen to classical music

102. Ji wook’s ring necklace gift to bong hee

103. Ji wook winning the rabbit doll at the claw machine #possiblytheonlytimehewon

104. Jibong bicycle date at the park

105. Jibong holding hands

106. Uber cute jae hong the harry potter kid

107. Silly initial reaction of ji wook towards jae hong

108. Ji wook / jae hong father-son moment

109. Ji wook’s long over-due confession to bong hee

110. Explosive first meeting at the subway

111. Hoping for a wedding scene

112. Rooting for the best finale in my kdrama history

#101reasonswhywelovesuspiciouspartner #suspicious partner #jibong #jijicouple #feelfreetocopyandpaste #twitterparty

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sanghyukstattoos · 4 years ago

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Thank you for tagging ahaha!

1. Adrenaline by Aalia (Vincenzo OST: Italian ver.)

2. Kidding me by ITZY kkkk what are those wild wild west lyrics

3. Drunk-Dazed by ENHPEN which I recently found and ohgod I love the chorus

4. We are by Lee Seung Yoon (Law School OST) so prtty sobsobsob

5. IKON's version of Inception by Ateez too cool

6. CODE by Shinee makes me wanna fly

7. Antidote by Kang Daniel

8. C'est la vie by Weathers

9. Cherry Bomb by The Runaways the lyrics....

10. What type of X by Jessi

thank you for the tag @lyricfulloflight ❤️❤️

rules: put your music library on shuffle and write the first ten songs.

I'll put my spotify liked songs on shuffle, let's see what'll come out of it... (there's 3.4k songs there)

1- Mean - Taylor Swift

2- Champion - Barns Courtney

3- Drunk - Ed Sheeran

4- How - Maroon 5

5- Firework - Katy Perry (lmao)

6- Wrapped Up - Olly Murs, Travie McCoy

7- Pull Me Down - Mikky Ekko

8- Touch - Troye Sivan

9- So Good - Red Velvet

10- Lips On You - Maroon 5

A lot of pop.... not really surprised since I gathered the songs I used to listen when I was 12 together with the songs I listen now there 🏃

Tagging, if you want to: @insertmeaningfulusername, @secretlymagneto, @queerneto, @himbomcavoy, @nio-bee-um, and whoever wants to do it!

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famedroleplayarchive · 4 years ago

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CHUNG GYUJEONG, better known as HAON, is the MAIN RAPPER AND VOCAL of KNIGHT under BC ENTERTAINMENT. He was born on APRIL 22, 1994. He looks a little like LEE TAEYONG OF NCT.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: lee taeyong (taeyong), member of nct

legal name: chung gyujeong

stage name: haon

birth date: 4/22/1994

hometown: seoul, south korea

position: main rapper, vocal of knight

claims:

girl who sees smells ost — spring is gone by chance

pinocchio ost — first love

W - Two Worlds ost — in the illusion

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: underage drinking, smoking

he never falls in love with the golden spoon in his mouth. not when his first cries are heard inside seoul’s heart, and not when he’s already turned his back far from the family that he dissociates himself from.

it’s easy to be a chung. easy to walk in the patterns of what’s strung across all the paths lined up, marching along to the rhythm of money flowing through. at least, that’s what his father tells him when he’s old enough to comprehend what his family’s world entails.

his mother preps him from an early age — from the elementary years comes cross-continental schooling, ‘studying abroad’ in a boarding school that gives him his roots. it’s here where he learns his first love of boom bap inside the gridwork of the large cemented cities. it’s the first time he finds himself jotting down words and making it flow against the rudimentary taps of his roommate’s knuckles. it’s a first lesson in learning how to create music.

when he’s back in korea, it’s another break. it’s filled with monotony, the lessons of back and forth scheduled lessons. from piano to art classes, all the way down to math and chinese lessons. he’s booked, heavier than a nine to five office worker on overdrive — that is, if he’d ever attend his lessons.

tardiness comes key when he slips out of class, skips a few lessons. stumbles down the cyphers of hongdae where it become evident he’s no longer a rich boy looking in. he trades in the designer goods of gucci and burberry for some run-down second hand jerseys and a pair of us levis that leave his frame drowning from the drapery of oversized clothes. it feels like home. it feels comforting. it feels unlike the rich boy he’s expected to be

it’s here where life lessons are taught. how to puff a cigarette chest heavy, let the smoke linger in your mouth before blowing out. how to pour in the first few shots of soju, just so it reaches 6.5 when the bottle’s done, and how to distinguish bars from rhymes to expedite a sweet flow that hits. with hyungs years older, festering inside the makeshift studio space and the endless struggle — it’s here he makes a home for himself, and here that the sharks call him “haon.”

first comes the hints of cigarette smoke lingering inbetween the threads of his ragged clothes, and second comes the calls from the irate teachers calling his bluff. and last comes, when he’s caught red-handed with a mic in his hand, spitting bars inside a musty club, underaged and shit drunk. his mom catches him, suddenly — haon becomes stripped away and what’s left is gyujeong.

call it a taste of teenage rebellion or a late case of middle school blues — he raises ire. let’s the jagged edges created by the detailing of the underground scene come to life. a rage of thrown chairs and slurred slews, a middle finger up to the parents with nothing more than a backpack full of his favorite worn in t-shirts, his phone, and a set of headphones. nowhere to go, he resorts back to the only place he’s called his home.

he gets hold of a business card through a mutual friend, a friend who begs the question of swapping the underground life for mainstream music. loyalty digs deep, especially to one he considers his own brother — he sits outside, beanie pressed down heavy, phone blasting dynamic duo and supreme team. a few seconds in a dazed space, it’s only a voice that calls him out.

panic. like a deer caught in headlights, it feels like he’s told to go away.

but they tell him to stay — stand around, take front shots than to the side. ask him to sing a few lines, and do a few jumps.

it’s here they give him an offer to train.

it’s here he sells his soul.

—

his parents give him the benefit of the doubt. no future in education, and a company already written off to be handed to his younger brother — it’s what keeps him inside bc’s walls. not stepping out, nor staying inside. it feels like a prison the way he’s trapped.

he teeters back and forth. should he stay or should he go? it’s the uncertainty, and simply staying afloat that brings him to knight’s debut line. and now, he floats rapping the words that mean nothing and aren’t written like the grittiness of what he knows the hip hop scene to be.

then again, he’s already sold his soul. no time to ruminate over the aftermath now.

—

knight’s debut comes, and success hits. a big name of haon inside the city lights of seoul. fun and games for his parents to shed their responsibility, and act like his presence inside the industry remains another facet to their pride. but in reality, it all shatters the second his name comes out embroiled in a past scandal.

an underaged drinker, caught smoking in a pub.

the pictures surface, and it does nothing more that force his lips wide in a cheeky smile — it might have been his happiest moment of his career.

funny, how he’s no longer human and now subject to public scrutiny.

funny, how this sets the pace for the years to come.

#fmdfollow #bcentertainment #knight #knightlight

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fizzy-popper-blog · 6 years ago

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Raise Your Flag

Chapter 2

Sitting in his chair Alex takes out his phone. He texts his friend to see where they're at but he gets no response from anyone. Scowling he puts his phone away and grabs his textbook. His first period is language art, then math, history, science, and art. He personally couldn't wait for art, he's always been in touch with his hands and was always drawing on his bedroom walls. He remembers when he was five and found his mom's lipstick. He was drawing a bird when he heard his mother curse at him and then smack him on the back of the head. She made him clean it up with a bar of soap and a sponge until he passed out of exhaustion onto the floor. His mother left him there too busy wallowing in self-pity and whiskey. Frowning and scrunching up his eyebrows he lightly shakes his head as if to forget the memories that plague his broken mind. Looking at the smart board he is reminded of the osts that will begin in a few days. He knows enough that he'll pass with flying colors but that still won't be enough. He'll still be called stupid and worthless by his mom and compared to his dad. It may not be fair but thats how life works, life isn't well faring for great minds like Alex. The reached sea of stupidity sadly sinks any opportunity to shine with the greatest potential. Alex remembers last year that a bunch of girls went I to the destroy. and started to fight. Why the hell they did he has no idea but most of them got detentions so he didn't really care to complain. Even then they should have been expelled as dangerous and disobedient delinquents. But who's he to decide that, he's just a low life from the east side.

Getting his homework out he waits for the teacher to walk through the front door. Instead of the teachers, it's the popular kids. Oh shit, he thought, hope and pray to whatever god we have that they don't care to bother me. There must be a god above because the group of perfumed girls and boys didn't take notice to him. Letting out a sigh of relief he reviews his homework one last time. Nothing sticks out to him as wrong or unsure of, just completed. Satisfied with his work he sits back in the dingy school chair and thinks. His friend should be here by now considering that Jack would never let them skip. Alex has a class with them for almost every period except art since Nathan, Jewels, and Jack have gym and Katherin has a choir. No way in hell Alex would be able to survive any of those classes, he can barely walk to school without getting winded. So he sticks to subjects that require no or minimal exercise at all coast. Last year he passed out during gym because he couldn't breathe, scared the hell out of the gym teacher. It would have been funny if Alex wasn't

Being dragged to the paramedics outside the school building. Groaning and trying to hide his blushing face he false to see a group of people walking into his classroom.

"Hey look boys, its the fag from down the street, and he's all by his lonesome." The leader of the group sneers and pits his elbows on Alex's desk. Feeling that there was something going on some other teens stop what they're doing. Alex clears his through and responds, "I ain't-a fag boy, I'm bisexual you ignorant punk." Alex spits back. There was one female and two males. The female was a Hispanic girl, Avery, with black straight hair and brown eyes and averaged size. The two males were taller than the female by a few feet. The leader, Timothy, was a white male with dark hair and green eyes, his peach skin didn't have a mark on it, no blemishes or scars. The other male, Max, was a dirty blond boy with combed back brown hair. His eyes were a steel blue that scared Alex shitless. You'd think the leader would scare him but the leader wasn't obviously that smart. Max, on the other hand, was known for being the top student(mostly because his dad paid for him). And while muscles hight help once in the strength is where the brain is.

"Hah, says the one that hangs out with those fags." Timothy sneers, hoping to get under Alex"s skin. Not wanting to admit defeat Alex fires back. "Says the one who's more obsessed with his dick than anything, maybe that makes you gay for yourself." He didn't really think it was an insult but the boy didn't take it to well. He slams his hand on Alex's desk and gets in his face. "You better take that back fagget, or else," Alex smirks, he knows this isn't the best school but he knows that they have some standards that could get this punk expelled. That's unless his daddy pays the board off again. "The hell are you smirking for queer." The leader snaps, confused as to why Alex finds the situation amusing. "Looks like the fag has a death wish." This time it's Avery who speaks up. Alex is actually stunned that she would actually bother with him. He's seen her talk and curse right in front of the prince (granted everyone has sworn in front of him) not giving a shit, so why would she now? Blinking Alex sighs, he just wanted to have a quiet morning where he got all A's or B's and hang out with the gang. But that doesn't seem to be happening today. Timothy grabs Alex by the collar and goes to swing at him but the teacher walks in just in time. "Timothy Daten, a bit your behind down!" The language art teacher yells at Timothy and he immediately let's go with a push. He smirks at Alex and walks away with the other to.

Rolling his eyes Alex turns to the front of the classroom. This wasn't the first time a teacher had to step in and protect Alex from people like Timothy. People with closed minds close the world for other people. The teacher stands at the front of the class and relays what the lesson will be about. Alex would be paying attention but he's to focused on the poster board in the hallway and who might see his name. The last thing he needs is everyone else and their mom to know that he's part of the LGBTQ. Word spreads quickly around the school, especially in the halls. Nothing can get passed the gossip of a high schooler. Alex was just about to pay attention to the lesson when announcements came on. "Attention students, there is an early morning announcement concerning the new event presented by the student council." Alex quickly perks up and looks at the speaker, he doesn't really know why maybe it's just to be polite? "As you may know, if you pay attention that is, there is a poster in the main hall, now this poster is a one time chance for the school to celebrate one thing, this can range to appropriate items to holidays." The speaker pauses, they're likely reading from a flash card or something. "The winner will be announced at the end of the day considering there is still a whole day of school and you all need to focus." Some of the student groan. Guess Alex isn't the only one hanging on the edge of his seat.

"That will be all for morning announcements have a good day." As the announcements end the morning bell rings. Students rush to get into their classrooms and pretty soon the halls are a barren wasteland with paper and pencils littering the floor. As the lesson goes on Alex can't wait for the end of the day, not only to leave but to find out if he'll have the pleasure of a pride day. As he daydreams about what it would be like as a pride day the ending class bell rings. Students rush out of their seats to the classroom door. Following their lead, Alex rushes to his next period which is math then health, study hall, lunch, American History, Art, science then another unnecessary period just to torture students. Walking into his next period he starts to become dazed. What if he doesn't get the event, what if they make fun of him for trying to celebrate such a taboo thing. Frowning and looking down at his desk he realizes what an idiot he was to think something good would happen to him. He starts to shake with uncertainty, his heart starts to beat even faster and starts to sweat. Shooting up from his seat he runs out of the classroom, down the hall and to the men's restroom. He slams the door of a stall and sits on the toilet, covering his face with his hands. Breath, just breath. He tells himself repeatedly trying to calm himself down. This is the second panic attack this month, sadly that's a record.

Tears start to stream down his face. He tries to wipe them away but there are so many tears. Instead, he just lets them roll down his face and onto the bathroom floor. When he's done crying his face is wet and his eyes are iffy. He can't go back to class looking like this so he waits the whole period in the bathroom. He swears this reminds him of a theatre song but he can't remember which one. He listens to so many songs that he mixes them up a lot. He starts to hum a lullaby to help calm himself more. It's the same lullaby that he would sing for himself when he was a toddler. He doesn't remember where he heard it from but it's soothing to him an that's all that matters to him. Alex sighs and stands up, brushes the dust of his clothes and opens the stall door. He walks to the mirror and looks at himself. His eyes are swollen and red from how much he was crying. Rubbing his eyes he grabs some paper towels and wettens them. He scrubs his face and stares at his hands. They are still shaking from his previous panic attack. He rubs his hands and shakes his head. They've always been shaky but now he wouldn't be able to hold a pencil. There isn't any point im him staying at school if he's like this. He throws the paper towns away and leaves the restroom. Walking down the has he reaches his locker. He'd just about to get his backpack and coat when the announcements come on. "Attention students, sorry for the afternoon interruption but we have an announcement. Because of popular demand, we will be announcing the winner for the special event." Alex quickly looks up at the speaker in the ceiling and crosses his fingers. "The winner for the special event is..." Alex holds his breath. "....Alex Hecht, for pride day!" He can't believe it. He finally won something. Something good actually happened to him Letting out his breath he slides down his locker. A smile grows on his face and he tries to hide it, but it's too big of a grin to hide. He stands up and jumps for the ceiling, fist pumps the air. He starts to twirl around and just has a good time. When he's done self celebrating he grabs his stuff with pride and locks his locker. Walking down the hallway with pride he walks to the nurse's office, tells her what happend and is excused from school for the day. He doesn't have anyone to pick him up so he's forced to walk home but he isn't fazed. He still has a dopey grin on his face and arrives home. He isn't fazed when his mom yells at him for being home. He jumps to his room and texts his friends. This is the best day and the most life-changing one he'll ever have.

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idolizerp · 6 years ago

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LOADING INFORMATION ON CHERRY BOMB!’S MAIN VOCAL LIM SEOLHEE ...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Sophia CURRENT AGE: 23 DEBUT AGE: 17 TRAINEE SINCE: 14 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: Acting

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): sunshine for her image as the energy pill, saseumi for her doe-eyed beauty, bookworm because she’s been captured in airport and fansign photos holding well-read books on multiple occasions, seolcasso–seolhee + picasso for her artistic talents, heethoven– seolhee + beethoven as derived from her initial vlives where she would ask fans to send in requests for piano covers to do. INSPIRATION: her love for music is hereditary–what with her mother being a piano teacher and her grandmother’s blessed voice. she thinks she was born to embrace and to fall in love with the sound of music and, thus, desires to inspire others with her voice. SPECIAL TALENTS:

drawing & painting–her mediums being charcoal and watercolor, respectively.

a walking jukebox, which came from a few variety show appearances during group promotions where she was able to sing acapella to every single song requested by the mcs.

plays the piano, guitar, and guzheng & has been known to fulfill fan requests for her to cover other idol groups’ songs.

NOTABLE FACTS:

speaks korean, english, italian fluently.

graduated from seoul’s school of performing arts & attending seoul institute of the arts.

a huge fan of harry potter and has been quoted in an interview saying luna lovegood is the character she relates most to.

loves cooking & baking as a way to de-stress.

a known lover of dogs and children–has been captured in fancams with her signature dimpled smile playing with a dog or taking pictures with older fans who bring small children to fansigns.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

she wants cherry bomb! to gain more notoriety as a whole–perhaps, a first music show win to show that they’ve reached a level of public reception that would propel her and her girls further on their individual paths. maybe then, she can utilize her group branding to help give her budding acting career a much needed boost.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

she wants to shatter expectations for idol actors. because despite her dramas not achieving much success/critical reception in terms of rating, she’s really fallen in love with acting and wants so desperately to be taken seriously as an actress, to be recognized for her craft. eventually when she’s broken the mold–hopefully via a breakout role in a successful drama–she wants to then ask msg if she can pursue a solo career in music–venture into singing osts or actually debut with a song she’s composed or written herself. somewhere further down the line, when the novelty of being in a girl group has well and truly faded, she hopes to be established as a well-rounded artist in music and in film/television.

IDOL IMAGE

BEFORE.

they call her chameleon–the judges.

it’s not an insult, they reassure with a flash of teeth and blood red lips. you’ve got a pretty face and a nice voice. (pause.) but no personality.

she learns later–much, much later–what it means to be a blank slate.

it takes three years to break the bones of a girl who constantly feels out of place in a room full of her peers.

three years to perfect the art of makeup, to dress to impress, to walk in sky-high heels like she was born for it.

all it takes is three years behind closed doors in an industry where survival of the fittest means fighting with everyone and anyone for a chance at becoming the next big thing for her to learn that the world of fame is paved with sacrifice.

three years to realize that to stand on that brightly lit stage, she must murder herself; set her innocent self on fire and reborn from the ashes someone stronger, brighter, warmer.

TABULA RASA.

trainee days spent isolating herself as the quiet, hardworking girl is buried under rigid lessons and rules of thumb on how to construct a new layer of skin to stitch around herself. years of crying behind closed doors and missing home is replaced by a fresh-faced girl who laughs at everything, smiles at everyone, and bounces back with enthusiasm after a fall—sunshine in ecstatic motion.

from practice room to the bright stage, msg sinks their claws into a lost girl with stars in her eyes and molds her into something whimsical and ethereal. they take all the broken parts of her that seep through the cracks and tell her to bury it behind a radiant smile. creates a mask for her to wear by exploiting all the mismatched parts of her that make her who she is: the dazed look of a dreamer, the seaside accent that still roils under seoul’s modern cadence, her restless hands, the purity of her lilting voice.

they take all that and slip onto her the delicate skin of a walking ray of sunshine with a heart of gold and a thousand watts smile.

on stage and on camera, she’s cherry bomb!’s little energy pill. she’s warm, a little absentminded, not quite there, but innocent all the same. it’s that charm–that little dimple in her cheek–that captivates. sets her apart. if only for a little bit.

she doesn’t mind it–not really.

it’s just another mask she wears. another role she plays.

she’s young. she has time. to change, to mature, to grow out of the novelty of it all.

(she doesn’t.)

AFTER.

four years in the eyes of the public and she’s muffled peals of laughter hidden behind small hands and eyes creasing into half moon crescents. sometimes, she’s softly uttered words of praise, advice, encouragements to her faithful fans on instagram live or a whole chorus of a newly uploaded acoustic cover sung in the voice almost too soft to hear above the strum of guitars, gratitude embedded in three minutes of heartfelt lyrics and shining eyes. to the world, seolhee is someone fragile and in need of protection. almost too good for the world. almost too untainted and pristine. (almost too good to be true.)

from her endearing attempts to interact with and befriend fans and fellow idols alike to her occasional variety show appearances where she’s the perpetually 4d absentminded girl with the dimpled smile hosts have to subtly prompt and prod for answers to their questions about her trending airport fashion, her faithful fansites and fancams in 4k depicting her pristine and perfect on stage (not a hair out of place, her smile perpetually stitched on her face. never faltering. never wavering), growing up pains, childhood in busan, her lingering accent.

there’s always a bit of lasting unconventionality hidden in those moments when they ask about home, about family, about transitioning from the carefree, quiet life on busan’s sandy shores to the pulsating thrum of the big city with its too fast pace and perpetual anonymity.

how did you survive, they ask. i didn’t. she wants to confess. i adapted. i changed, is what she says instead.

and it’s the truth. msg takes her hand-me-downs and thrift-shopped dresses and replaces them with sponsored one pieces with the tags still on them, shiny mary janes in place of worn converses, her sea salt-scented braid of hair is combed and styled in soft waves tumbling down her back and smells of peaches, her unruly tongue fixed under an iron fist to master the straight-laced way of seoul-speak.

she’s made to rid herself of all the things that make her her.

every night, she goes to sleep; her face scrubbed clean, the skin of her good girl persona somewhere on the floor. every morning, she wakes when the sun rises and pulls her skin back on, pats her face dry of tears, and presses two fingers to the corners of her mouth, pushing up until a small dimple forms on her cheek. there, transformation complete.operation sophia is a go.

every day is a vicious cycle. it’s walking on eggshells and pretending someone else isn’t living beneath this suffocating skin, wallowing in years of self-deprecation and the perpetual ache of longing (for something, for someone, for the taste of home—wherever that may be).

six years later and she’s still warm. still smiling. just a little dimmer. a little softer.

she’s got this look about her now–almost fragile; whimsical in a way that garners second glances when people first meet her or see her sitting in a corner of the room lingering on the outskirts of conversations, staring into space. a waifish doll; an effortless kind of beauty. ethereal; almost surreal.

she talks softly with a touch of poetic elusiveness and practiced eccentricity, designed to fluster or to purposely dazzle. she stares like she’s trying to see through you. into you. she’s a soft kind of pretty when she’s caught in between camera flashes or in the midst of whispered conversations with one of her members. and yet, on stage and on television wearing the skin of someone else–someone polished and manufactured, she’s danger in high heels.

catch her off-guard and all alone in the dead of the night with her face scrubbed clean and swathed in a too big hoodie and you’ll notice there’s a strange kind of dichotomy when you realize the girl you watched on tv belting high notes or crying her heart out in her latest drama is vastly different from the lonely girl who looks the spitting image of her, sitting for hours in front of a painting in an art gallery or by the han gazing into the waters.

softer, sadder, dreamier.

still as lost as ever.

IDOL HISTORY

PRELUDE.

appa falls in love with eomma in italy, five years after their fateful first encounter in the circus that is high school. a whirlwind romance between a budding photographer and a piano teacher. must be fate, the wedding guests whisper when they vow eternity to one another in a church filled with friends and family who wish them well with warm smiles and teary eyes.

so they love and love and love and somewhere in between, a baby girl is born.

eomma cries; she’s so happy. relieved, she admits years later with a kiss to her forehead. they’ve been trying and trying, after all.

appa cries too. because here she is; another girl for him to love, to protect. a gift from heaven.

they name her sophia, after the saint.

ONE.

they return home after the honeymoon phase fizzles and fades, settling in busan with halmeoni amidst student loans and living on budgets. there, she grows up a free-spirited daydreamer, often associating the world and the people around her in streaks of color and a symphony of sounds. her childhood consists of sand between her toes, sea salt in her hair, ocean-soaked dresses, and the sound of tinkling laughter.

her four seasons of growing up on the sandy shores of busan goes a little like this:

spring: an almost brand new knee-length dress made of white lace her mother buys from a thrift shop at a discounted rate, sunflowers and daisies dancing in the wind, chasing butterflies, and flower bookmarks pressed into the pages of a journal.

summer: ripe with music, her spread eagle on a blanket and sunset golds streaked across her face, the drone of cicadas, cherry popsicles, the whir of electric fans, knee-deep in the sea, her mother calling her name off in the distance.

autumn: a waterfall of warm colors, halmeoni’s cozy handmade sweaters with the sleeves hanging past her fingertips, gingham skirts and leggings, pumpkin pies, spiced lattes, a night sky filled with paper lanterns and the glimmer of stars, father’s phone ringing off the hook in the middle of the night; every night.

winter: soft pink mittens and oversized pea coats over chunky sweaters and chunkier scarves made with love, homemade hot chocolate, footprints in fresh snow, one hand clasped in mother’s hand; the other grasping air, perpetual cold; lingering emptiness.

she’s seven, wide-eyed and curious, watching a master chef work her magic. it’s halmeoni in a soft yellow dress and a spongebob apron around her waist singing deulgukhwa hits and humming to joo hyunmi and patti kim. it’s little seolhee perched on the counter by the fridge singing right along in a game of monkey see, monkey do.

early evening always starts with the swell of a sobangcha song, halmeoni wielding a carrot under her chin and seolhee’s little face crinkling up in peals of laughter. in the living room, her parents smile indulgently, hands busy tucking unpaid bills under week-old newspapers and balls of colorful yarn. and ends with seolhee curled in halmeoni’s lap, both hands clutching her parents’ sleeve in her sleep.

days and nights like these are normal—until they’re not.

one cold night in december, dinner prep is a somber affair. the radio is turned off and secondhand vinyls gather dust—buried under boxes full of knick-knacks and memories. there’s no halmeoni twirling in the kitchen, no tongue-in-cheek adlib to the latest hit trot song, no laughter.

home is quiet. empty. and little seolhee aches with the feeling of missing someone no amount of singing or wishing could ever bring back.

TWO.

she’s ten when she learns to make friends with an old guitar she buys off a neighbor moving to the big city, learns to strum awkwardly, clumsily; a cacophony of sound. it takes a full four seasons for her to learn to love the vibrations of nylon strings beneath the pads of her fingers. learns to put herself back together singing acoustic covers and soft little ballads with her face turned up to the stars. puberty comes and goes with her seated on the rickety steps of her porch, strumming nostalgic chords to the ghost of her youth.

her parents say nothing as they watch her from inside the house, smiles wilted, wistful, watery.

(there’s so many things their daughter could be, should be, and hurting, cradling sadness and turning grief into old-timey blues shouldn’t be one of them.)

they leave her be when she starts going to the market in the sticky heat of summer, guitar strapped to her back, playing for small crowds and neighborly regulars. from dusk to dawn, seolhee fixes a soft smile on her face as she strums and strums and strums, voice light and whimsical as she sings requests as a thank you for listening.

she comes home with a straw hat full of notes and red fingers, knowing full well it’s not enough to make up for this month’s expenses. so seolhee ventures back out again, haunts local farmer’s markets and side streets, the sandy beaches during tourist season, trying to make the most of a life that seems to pass her by too quickly, too quietly.

sometimes, she tells herself that when she sings something inside of her heals. as if the soft blue notes become a makeshift stopgap measure filling up the gaping hole in her chest, easing the perpetual emptiness, soothing the ache—the want—for a different life.

sometimes, when she closes her eyes, seolhee pretends she doesn’t hear the sound of her parents fighting, the front door slamming, and her mother’s muffled crying.

sometimes, when she lets herself sink in between lyrics about a dreamer wandering away in search for herself—for an adventure—seolhee swears that some day it could all be possible.

THREE.

family is four. then, three. then, two.

home is no longer sand in between her toes and the ocean clinging to her skin, but the veins of seoul—harsher and all concrete jungle. it’s sleek office buildings and cold cityscapes and soon, the roads she used to bike down back home is replaced by honking taxis and the congestion of too many strangers.

home is now a shoebox; a cramped one bedroom apartment on the outskirts of seoul.

FOUR.

school is but a circus and, sometimes, she finds herself center stage. an unwilling spectacle. her accent is the only thing she has left of home and her peers mock her for it. turn her into the punchline of inside jokes and over-the-shoulder remarks about a bumbling seaside girl who doesn’t belong. she’s not ashamed, but it hurts just the same.

so, she keeps to herself, minds her own business, and makes herself at home on the rooftop and the empty bleachers in an emptier field. she has her guitar and her ocean of sounds. starts spending more time with her head down, hair in a loose braid, writing the world and the people she watches and meets down in the pages of secondhand leather-bound notebooks.

“you have a pretty voice.”

it’s rooftop prince. only this time, they meet in the middle of the soccer field. it’s seolhee with her guitar in her lap and a curious tilt of her head, one hand shielding her eyes and feeling like she’s looking at the sun. blinded, she looks away. a little embarrassed, a little flattered. it’s been a long time since someone has complimented her, after all.

“why do you sing?”

so i can heal. one day, some day.

seolhee smiles and turns her face up to the sky. “because it feels like i’m home.”

FIVE.

she’s two days shy of her fourteenth birthday when she wraps herself in a chunky sweater and a soft scarf stitched with halmeoni’s love and makes her way to a quiet corner in hongdae with her guitar strapped to her back. braves the bite of an impending winter with numbed fingers and a voice that carries.

she starts with sobangcha and joo hyunmi, hesitant and almost stuttering as she tunes her guitar with nimble fingers and her heart in her throat. somewhere, somehow, she hears halmeoni telling her to be brave as she plucks strings and closes her eyes, petite body swaying to the ebb and flow of a bygone song. with halmeoni in her ear, she lets the world fade away, pays no mind to the small gathering of an audience finding their way to the nostalgic croon of an old soul.

she comes awake to the sound of applause and a case full of clinking coins and a tiny pile of notes. she thanks everyone for their time and sets off to trudge home with her earnings.

she’s pulled from her afterglow by a tap on her shoulder and whirls around to a man in a suit, all coiffed and perfect, voice velvety smooth. her early birthday gift is an invitation that sounds too good to be true.

her mother is apprehensive. she’s heard stories about the life of an idol. doesn’t want her daughter to live life under perpetual scrutiny, robbed of her youth, and always struggling to catch up to changing times and new trends.

“you’ll have to give up everything.”

“not everything.“ not you, she means to say. never you.

impending goodbyes has her losing her grip on the impression of a budding city girl society has pressed upon her, slipping back into the soft drawl of dialect and settling right at home in the wake of her desire to chase after a flimsy dream. like this, she’s doe-eyed and wears the heart of a dreamer, curls around her mother like she’s five years old and afraid of the dark.

“i guess this means my baby’s all grown up now.”

am i? doesn’t feel like it. seolhee swallows back a sob and presses her face to her mother’s neck.

goodbye shouldn’t have sounded so definitive. so painful.

SIX.

three years into training and she realizes her voice has stopped being her own, shaped by the company and molded into the image of an innocent girl with the unpolished voice of a would-be angel.

three years and she realizes she’s signed her youth away as dreams of singing on stage with just a microphone and her guitar are replaced by backhanded compliments, veiled sabotage behind closed doors, and a sense of something sacred being stolen from her.

she’s forbidden from ever bringing up a possible solo debut in the future where she can sing about a girl who’s just trying to find her place in the world. the answer is no almost every time. sometimes, if she’s good—when she ranks on top during evaluations, when she ends up being amongst the shortlist of girls for an upcoming girl group—she gets a backhanded maybe. always baited, always rebuffed. lulled into a sense of security with empty promises of what-if’s and what-could’ve-been’s.

three years in and she learns to bite her tongue and does as she’s told. sings what she’s given. dances as she’s practiced. smiles as she’s commanded.

all the while, hours spent in the dead of the night writing lyrics that read like poems, like stories of a thousand lives not yet lived in her notebooks are laid to waste, buried under rejection after rejection in the bottom of a box full of remnants of her childhood and reminders of a home away from home.

like this, she muffles the cries of a girl homesick for a place she’s never been, sings and dances like it’s the only thing that matters and tells herself she’s happy.

tells herself it’s all she wants.

tells herself it’s enough.

(it never is. never will be.)

SEVEN.

lim seolhee is buried—erased—the day she debuts as cherry bomb’s main vocal.

(because lim seolhee is the sunshine girl who looked at people like they hung the moon and the stars. because lim seolhee is tousled hair and tinkling laughter in the middle of the sea. because lim seolhee is made of old songs and picture books, flower crowns, and grass stains.

because lim seolhee is the kind of girl easily broken and taken advantage of.

because lim seolhee, naive and kind, has no place in a world full of backstabbing and desperate survivors trying to make it to the top.

so, she creates herself a persona—someone soft-spoken and unassuming, who seemed unlikely to stab you in the back than she is to hold you while you cried. someone who always seemed a little dazed and absentminded; her gaze faraway, her voice a whisper.

someone like halmeoni—all soft around the edges, always so poised and graceful in her mannerisms (from her mysterious little smile, to the tilt of her head, to the way she walked and talked), her voice a balm to her soul.

she takes all the things she loves most about her and creates a persona in her grandmother’s shadow.

like this, sophia is born to weather all the storms seolhee doesn’t have the strength to handle on her own—just like halmeoni had been there, once upon a time, to hold her hand while she dusted the dirt off her knees and got right back up to face the world.

her father calls three days later. when she picks up, all she hears is his rumbling laughter, sounding much fuller than it had in their rickety old house filled with the scent of spices and long-time struggles.

“are you happy? how’s it feel to be on stage?”

like i’m flying. like i’m dying. “how are you, daddy? are you happier now?”

“…yeah, i guess i am, seol-ah. i think i am.”

“that’s good. that’s all i ever wanted—for you to be happy.”

(what she means is—i miss you so much, it hurts. will you come home? will you come back? do you miss me too?)

“i’m proud of you. be good. keep shining, dad will always be by your side.”

don’t lie. don’t lie. don’t lie, she thinks as she cries silent tears and thanks him for everything. for the moments of happiness when she was but a child too curious, too naive, too loving for her own good. for the lifetime of loneliness and always getting left behind when things get too hard—too tough—for people to stay.

“i’m always good.“ always. then and now.

EIGHT.

msg thrives on how easy it is to break her and fit her into a mold of their design, how quickly she can give away her free will for a promise of an adventure (of life never being dull, of living a dream). it’s easy to take a lost little thing in need of guidance and shape her into something otherworldly, push her onto a gnarly road and tell her to simply go straight to find her way back home, to where she needs to be.

but if one were to ask where she’s needed, she thinks of her old childhood home in busan, the pale yellow paint peeling on patches on her ceiling, the glow-in-the-dark wallpaper brittle and gathering dust. thinks of being waist-deep in the sea, thinks of halmeoni in her spongebob apron and a carrot as her makeshift microphone, thinks of her father somewhere (surviving, thriving, happy—she hopes), thinks of her mother and her work-roughened hands and the small shoebox apartment tucked in the tiniest corner of a heartless city.

if one were to ask what it is lim seolhee wants in private, watch her freeze, her smile slipping just slightly off her face—like a deer caught in headlights. watch her eyes, those sad lonely eyes, well up in tears she won’t let spill. watch her closely and carefully as her body seems to curl in on herself—as if the weight of the world is suddenly looming on her shoulders. watch for the tremor when she speaks, fingers twisting at her sides, voice impossibly soft and fragile: i don’t know…no one’s ever asked me before.

and no one has. no one cares either. msg simply takes and so do her fans. everyone breaks off little pieces of her; pieces she willingly gives because she can’t say no—until there’s nothing left for her to give. nothing left for anyone to take.

all that remains is the hollowed out shell of a girl drifting aimlessly, her heart never here or in one place, her mind lingering on faraway places not yet traveled and the sound of ocean waves crashing on sandy shores like a neverending siren’s call.

NINE.

she enters a mid-life crisis at the ripe age of twenty.

the zeroes in her bank account don’t mean anything when all she sees staring back at her in the bathroom mirror is a tired, lonely girl (a skinny, pretty little thing. all hollowed out by time, youth chipping away at the edges), who doesn’t know what she wants. doesn’t know where she belongs or who she is.

so when the stage starts to feel like a burden, she finds a niche on the small screen. makes peace with esoteric scripts and starts creating a name for herself. slowly, she learns to find temporary homes in between lines and in fictional universes. slowly, she finds becoming someone else exhilarating, being on set like stepping into another world. acting becomes second nature—another job; one she actually likes.

but like the stage, the set too becomes another battlefield. people say you won’t get to where you are without ruffling a few feathers or stepping on someone’s toes.

after all, survivors don’t make it to the top without playing a little dirty.

(she learns this the hard way.)

mother once told her names were dangerous things—that a girl should remember the names of men who tried to steal her heart, who loved her like she was the only thing that mattered, and who left her all broken, bruised, and ugly. mother tells her it’s the name of men she should be afraid of. the sons of women who lured her in with their heated gazes, their lilting voices, their body full of power. mother warned her that men were dangerous; their names a warning sign—a temptation.

her fall from grace comes as a surprise and at the hands of an up-and-coming actor.

when she meets him, he is boy blue with a heart of gold. all gentle hands and a dirty mouth. their first kiss is a shy affair—all bumping noses and awkward lip grazing—and done in the quiet of his penthouse suite.

they’re on their third date when they’re caught on camera; their rendezvous splashed front page on gossip rags and dispersed on the internet. a tentative relationship captured for all of posterity.

the world explodes. her heart does too.

msg does damage control. spins the fairytale narrative of a love borne between friends. of close encounters, bad timing, and years of pining. the company pins everything on her longstanding image as the sweet girl who would shoulder the world if asked to. pleads for the public, the fans, the media to support this budding romance between two close friends who made it through thick and thin as trainees all those years ago.

but the damage is done.

the fandom and the public remain divided.

when the hate comments begin to seep through the cracks and makes it way up top, msg realizes what could’ve been a good publicity stunt to garner her more individual branding backfires. realizes they overestimated her value. realizes she’s not quite enough, not quite there. not yet—that her reputation, though pristine prior, could not support the weight of negative public scrutiny and backlash.

so msg pulls her. benches her. gone are the growing piles of scripts and role offers. gone are the ever present promises that she could eventually get that solo she wanted and has begged for year after year.

all that remains are the cyclical group promotions.

prison has a new name and it’s the four pillars that are fame, fortune, reputation, and public perception that traps her within its midst.

2016 begins with a bang and ends with a whimper.

she’s twenty-one when he kisses her goodbye the night before their breakup goes public.

she’s twenty-one when the internet reports that they’ve called it quits, lamenting the tragedy of yet another “perfect” couple succumbing to the woes of distance and busy schedules.

she doesn’t cry, doesn’t laugh, doesn’t smile when msg unfreezes her. she says nothing when they warn her to behave and simply nods.

days turn into weeks into months. and, slowly, her heart mends itself. suture by painful suture, scar over invisible scar. healed over by the weight of time and a perpetual kind of numbness that seeps through skin, through muscle, through bone and into her very soul.

like this, she stands back up and trudges on forward—an energizer bunny running on the last dredges of its batteries.

holding out as long as she can. as hard as she can. as always.

TEN.

twenty-three and she’s found herself embarking on a new journey. a new chapter to write.

she’s got a budding acting career ahead. cherry bomb! is still afloat. the road to stardom is long yet, but she’s getting there.

slowly, but surely.

deep down—some day, somehow, she prays for anonymity. wants a life shrouded in mystery, no longer talked about in superlatives, made infamous by gossip, speculation, and rumors.

maybe in fifteen years, lim seolhee can be found again in a small town off the coast of some river city. a wanderer, an anomaly amidst a sea of faceless people.

there, a modern-day wraith finally content with her place in the world.

once lost, now found. just a woman. plain and simple.

#id.msg #id.cherry bomb!#id.bio #id.kim jisoo #id.guild

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