#scared to write it tho
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guys what if some hawaiian lesbian with an antivillain complex and mental problems appeared in arcane?
#just thinking...#i may be overthinking this every single minute#like having the whole 2 seasons on my mind#scared to write it tho#like how tf am i supposed to#ugh#arcane fanfic#arcane fics#arcane x reader#arcane#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane league of lesbians#arcane oc#arcane vi#arcane powder#jinx arcane#jinx#jinx and isha#isha#powder#silco#vi arcane#vi x fem reader#vi x reader
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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It's become extremely obvious over the past 15 months that the only reason much of the Western world ever basically agreed that the Holocaust was bad and was willing to teach about it is because for a brief period of time, Jews and gentiles in most of Europe + America had a common enemy in the Nazis. But this acknowledgement of Nazi antisemitism was only ever the same kind of acknowledgement of antisemitism that we get right now, where people are only willing to acknowledge the antisemitism of the people they already had a completely separate reason to dislike or fear. Antisemitism in this worldview is just a tool, a secondary accusation one can lodge at someone who is already for different reasons an enemy. It is never acknowledged as a form of bigotry in and of itself, that exists on its own and not as a follow up to another "more serious" form of oppression or bigotry against gentiles.
Obviously any Holocaust education we do get in Europe and the US has very much been the result efforts by Jews and our allies in a practical sense, but it is undeniable that there was a brief 70 or so year period where the white Western consciousness found it valuable (or at least politically convenient) to recognize antisemitism as wrong and the Holocaust as horrific. As true, original-brand Nazism fades, though, we see opposition to antisemitism and the Holocaust becoming less and less valuable to the white Western identity, as actual threat of Nazi occupation fades to historical memory. Newer, rebranded neo-Nazis and leftist Hamas supporters pose little to no threat to white Western gentiles. And thus, we see now not only a growing acceptance of antisemitism, but also a growing hostility towards the idea that we should study or condemn the Holocaust as anything particularly terrible. The Holocaust no longer represents a way for gentiles to additionally condemn an ideology that also threatened them, that also killed their families, that also resulted in their own countries and communities being occupied or destroyed by foreign fascist governments. It no longer represents to them an ideology that is in any way a threat to their own safety or way of life.
This is why we see such a massive rise in Holocaust denial among Gen Z, and, even more broadly than overt Holocaust denial, the rejection of the idea that the Holocaust should be particularly studied or condemned. More and more, we see people "questioning" the "propaganda" of The Jews Crying Victim All The Time, we see young people wondering why they are so cruelly forced to acknowledge on very rare occasion the suffering that the Jewish people went through in their own homes and towns. Often this is framed not only as intellectual bravery but moral bravery, as if this new generation rejecting Holocaust education is somehow fighting back against the unfair valuing of Jewish tragedy above gentile tragedy. What they don't understand, of course, and what many Jews up until now didn't understand either, is that no one ever valued the Holocaust because it WAS a uniquely horrific event in history, because it WAS the first and only industrialized genocide that gassed millions to death on a scale we can only pray the world will never see again, because it WAS only 70 years ago and is still a living part of the history of many Western countries. No. The Holocaust was only ever given the acknowledgement it was because it represented, at one time, an ideological threat that also included gentiles, though less overtly than it targeted Jews.
That ideological threat against Jews has not gone anywhere, and is in fact is seeing a new glory day dawning with the rise of fascism worldwide and the normalization/glorification of antisemitism on the left. But this new form of antisemitic hatred, be it neo-Nazism or support for Hamas, does not represent a threat to white Western gentiles, their way of life, or the integrity of their governments. And so we as we see the decoupling of the Holocaust from something that also incidentally threatens gentiles, we see standing against the Holocaust and antisemitism as a symbol of white Western identity disappearing as fast as it came.
#gingerswagfreckles#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#jumblr#jewblr#holocaust#the holocaust#the shoah#shoah#shoah mention#im scared to tag this nazism bc i know the whole nazism tag is just Jews Are The Real Nazis rn#so i wont#this is not a comprehensive discussion on this subject obviously#i could write a book on this topic tbh#just how the holocaust is framed in and used politically in differnet parts of the world for different reasons#that have nothing to do with jews or jewish genocide#and how all that is changing rn#but needless to say im not a professional historian or a political scientist#and i skim over concepts here#esp regarding how the holocaust targeted certain gentile groups#like a am speaking generally when i say nazism resulted in gentile oppression and murder incidentally and all that#if you were romani or slavic (esp polish) during the nazi occupations#this was not incidental#tho it was still the jews being targeted as priority number 1. but it would be very dismissive to say that nazism only targeted all gentile#incidentally. this depended on time and place#and obviously even in places like france that went ~relatively~ untouched during the nazi occupation if you were not jewish#these occupations were immensely traumatizing for the general population and many many gentiles were killed during the wars and during the#occupations under the nazis#so my point here is not to take away from that but actually to point out how the very real threat that the nazis also posed to gentiles#during ww2 is what caused a cultural shift in these countries
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yandere ex pm dazai x reader
im imagining a scenario where it turns out that pm dazai doesnt really love you and that you were just a toy for him to play around with..
you're angry and rightfully upset and you're in tears and sobbing. you thought dazai loved you and it turns out that he didnt? what a sick joke.
buuuut then dazai sort of realizes that he's alone without you. there's a sick feeling of regret crawling up his spine.
and once he starts to regret, it hits him hard. he went from not caring and then did a whole 180 and started to miss you a lot.
once hes in the phase where regret eats up at him, he's quite literally scary as fuck. all of a sudden he becomes more agitated, more selfish, and has less patience.
all of his subordinates and people working under him can tell that dazai is a time ticking bomb about to explode. when he regrets, dazai becomes more aggressive and downright scary. if his men fail a mission they are all getting severely punished. dazai just doesn't have the patience anymore.
it doesn't get any better when he becomes the port mafia's boss. if anything, he becomes even worse. if you thought mafia executive 'Demon Prodigy' dazai was scary, you haven't seen anything.
as the boss of the port mafia, dazai is naturally in charge of everything that happens as he quite literally is the highest ranking member of the mafia because he's the leader. during the time period he takes over as the boss, nobody even wants to mess with him.dazai has much more influence over everything during this time and you can bet that he has been watching over you for quite some time.
it doesn't take long for dazai to snatch you back up. he quite literally was 'suffering' and in so much 'pain' without you even when it was clearly his fault. you cant blame yourself for leaving him. who wants to be with someone who doesnt love you? nobody right?
during this time, he tries to run into you by coincidence. at this point he sometimes runs into you if you worked at a restaurant or something. he tries to play it cool but you both know what his true intentions are and it doesn't need to be said out loud.
you however, are downright terrified. this is literally the same guy who committed 625 counts of fraud. 625. not to mention he is the literal boss of the port mafia. the boss. the frickin boss.
you're scared because you dont believe he will show any mercy towards you. this is because the two of you arent 'lovers' (you don't know if the both of you ever were because dazai didnt hold any feelings for you) and he probably sees you as nothing more than a stupid idiot. this is not the same dazai you loved. this is the dazai that doesnt love you meaning that he doesnt care about you which in turn means that if something happened to you, he just straight up doesnt care.
he starts calling you 'belladonna' and 'darling' again which feels awkward and disgusting. whenever he calls you that you straight up wince and cringe and you don't even try to hide it. there's a whole wave of awkwardness that lingers in the air when you just reply back with a "..hi?.." dazai senses that the tension in the air is so thick that you could slice through it but him being him he just straight up dgaf.
you're not thrilled to see him whatsoever. when he comes here he doesn't even order any food and just tries to talk to you. he always leaves you a huge tip when he does leave though. you never take it though. you dont want his money. the next time he does come you give the money back to him and but he refuses to take it back saying "you've been working so hard belladonna, you deserve to treat yourself." again with the belladonna thing. it doesnt feel right for him to call you that at all.
dazai knows that youre refusing his advances but it doesnt stop him from trying. afterall you loved him once. thats all that matters. its only the results that matter in the end right?
right?
...
maybe.
#im sorry im just rly into the whole 'yandere ex chases after u'#its just that the yandere ex realizes how much they rly need u#and how much they regret it in the end#day 1 of writing for stuff that i personally need to see more of on tumblr#ahh poor reader tho theyre absolutely scared out of their mind!! who wouldnt be tho? pm dazai is the scary version compared to ada dazai..#lisa talks#yandere pm dazai#yandere port mafia dazai#yandere ex dazai#yandere ex pm dazai#yandere ex boyfriend dazai#yandere ex bf dazai#yandere ex#yandere ex bf#yandere dazai#yandere dazai x reader#yandere osamu dazai#yandere dazai osamu#yandere bsd#yandere bungo stray dogs x reader#yandere bungou stray dogs#yandere bungo stray dogs
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method actor boyfriend yuuta who gets a little too invested in his upcoming movie role. he’s playing some psycho character; someone calculated and manipulative; cunning; a stalker; eventually a killer. he’s always been a good actor, but sometimes he has to delve deep in order to portray a role to the best of his abilities.
you start to notice a difference in him after a while, though. he tells you he has to leave you for a few hours at a time, only for you to catch sight of his gaze lingering in the bushes outside of your home. or do you? you’re never really sure, always catching glimpses and glances that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. but you’re never really sure if you see him, his low stare, his tightly pulled mouth, the weapon his character uses slung over his shoulder.
he starts speaking to you differently, too. his vocabulary starts to be riddled with love and devotion and adoration, every chance he gets. he holds you close to him, too close, too tight, rests his face against your hairline, whispers against your skin, “don’t leave me—don’t ever leave me—I love you—you love me, don’t you?—don’t you?—you love me, right?”
sex with him isn’t really the same, either. he doesn’t even call it that anymore, calls it making love, and it wouldn’t be as unsettling if he didn’t look at you like that every time. like you hung the moon and the stars with your bare hands, like you breathed life into his very being, like you broke off a piece of your rib to place it so delicately inside his sternum.
his eyes get so rounded, so wide, seeing every inch of you, even the pieces hidden under the covers. his hands are so soft but they grip you so tightly, as if he’s scared that you might slip away if he blinks too long. his mouth constantly connected to your skin, whispering praises, his love for you, how you’re meant for him, how he can’t wait to be one.
he’s already inside of you, though. how else could he connect his body to yours? you know he’s playing a killer, someone willing to cut and scrape and bruise and maim the one he loves most. but he knows that it’s just a movie, right? that you’re not the star, that you’re his real partner, that he’s not actually like that? right?
#first posting of him ever and it’s on New Year’s Day 😝#but that means I have to make a masterlist for him tho 😔#I love writing this kind of stuff tho#creepy and unsettling without ever being full on horror#bc I’m too scared of my own imagination LOL#I have to watch the new season too bc I also wanna write for choso#he is. so pretty. but I don’t know him well enough yet :(#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#yuuta treats! 🍬
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I need shy/easily embarrassed reader, and Sukuna who just pops up whenever to say the most unhinged off the wall shit from Yuji's cheek just to watch her go bright red.
Little groan you make because the food you're eating tastes so good? "Do you always moan like that when you put things in your mouth? Or are you just showing off for me."
Yuji moves his hand to brush some hair out of her face and Sukuna takes the opportunity to lick her and they both just freeze while he cackles
#jjk#sukuna jjk#sukuna x reader#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna hcs#is this a thing someone else has brought up yet#like there is so much more I'm just scared to share lmao#might have to write a lil something tho#sukuna smut
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Man i just think its crazy that we have seen multiple different people come out and explicitly say "we wanted to make eddie queer!! We have been trying to make him queer!" and yet people still go "no.. no way he was written as heterosexual hes a heterosexual male" like the level of copium is kinda crazy to me. Like we do remember eddie was the first choice for a coming out right? Right? Like when they thought of coming out they thought eddie it's just that somewhere in the middle of that they switched it to Buck. But like they CHOSE him. You can't say eddie was written as a heterosexual male when literally everybody else has said they've been wanting him to be queer. Like they clearly had to have been putting a lil sumn queer in the text for their first choice at a coming out to be eddie. But idk.. maybe thats just me
#911 abc#911 fox#eddie diaz#buddie#911#its just so funny to me tho#like they come out and say ha we wanted eddie to be gay forever ago!!#and 'eddie was originally the person to be with tommy'#and for some reason that reads as heterosexual to yall??#like THEYVE CLEARLY BEEN WRITING HIM QUEER IF THEY LEGIT SAID THEY WANTED HIM TO BE QUEER??#it's crazy cus him being queer lk doesn't even mean anything like he doesn't HAVE to dat buck#so why are yall so scared of this man being queer?#i just cant understand it like they alrdy told u hes not...
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[ Entry #10 ] What it would be like actually dating Vox hcs
A/N I love Vox, but the reality of it is that he'd be terrible for a lot of reasons and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it in here like at all.
Me when theoretically very complex but ultimately still extremely problematic character: *foaming at mouth*
I love him.. but God I also hate him... but I also love hi-
This is a long one jfc.
Cw: Nsfw - no smut but strong themes, discussion of toxic relationships, manipulation, discussion of emotionally abusive/controlling behaviour, insecure aa toxic cis man behaviour, suggestive at one point
Someone asked me what I thought he'd be like with a yes-man reader so here it is
The worst out of the way first
The thing about Vox is that he's got a fuckton of baggage and bad traits that need desperate management, and they would sure as hell not be being managed by him on his own choice.
As his partner, you would NOT be able to be a pushover or shy away from any kind of confrontation about actions that have upset you because if Vox had a partner like this? He'd become the absolute worst version of himself in your relationship because you would not be calling him out or enforcing boundaries with him.
- He's insecure, and it's in the worst way possible.
And not in the 'aw he just needs to be loved and then he'll be healed' way. I'm talking in the 'toxic, refuses to remedy his own behaviours, becomes very emotionally abusive abt it if you don't pull up your boots and confront him abt it and make sure he actually does shit about it' way.
The fanfic community likes to portray him as a victim in the relationship with Val, and while it's true Val is certainly worse for obvious/overt reasons - He's still not just a victim in that situation. He's also terrible.
Just for reasons that are less overt and are thus overshadowed a lot. Acknowledging that doesn't make the shit Val (at least seemingly thus far. Vox side-stepped the drink being thrown pretty fast and seems accustomed to violent tantrums) does to him any less terrible, it's just the truth he's not a poor defenceless victim in that. (Vox literally goes to try use his mind control power on Val the second he seems like he's gonna damage their image then throws his lowest earners under the bus.)
- In the beginning if you aren't giving him attention at all times, do something that reminds him of Valentino even slightly, or if you do something that he just mildly doesn't like; then he will be passive aggressive or straight up aggressive as absolute fucking hell.
The second he feels slighted even a little bit, he's going to be so pissy.
- And he can't communicate for absolute shit. He thinks you are doing shit on purpose to piss him off or hurt him. This is due to his relationship with Val, but it's not him being a sad sob story kind of thing (not all around at least), he will be awful to you if you allow him to ever be just a victim who can do no wrong.
- He will project all his bs heavily onto you in the beginning with complete self awareness and no thought given to managing his own shit.
If you ask what's wrong when he's acting up he probably would be the type of bitch to go 'nothing's wrong' and will then proceed to ruminate upon it until he ends up exploding about it later on. Or, maybe he'll even do the 'you know what you've done' type of shit.
- He would probably expect you to be a mind reader and when you inevitably aren't aware of wtf is happening because he hates being emotionally vulnerable at all and can't describe what's going on properly for himself, he will be an absolute bitch about it. (Carried here from my other hc that he has a bunch of self-imposed toxic masculinity he needs to deconstruct)
- If you call him out, he will likely try to convince you he's not doing it.
- He'll become increasingly more self-aware of his behaviour you are aware of and will just be even worse because he hates that you could see something about him he doesn't want you to see.
Basically, he feels embarrassed as fuck about it, and cannot apologise because that's humiliating as all hell to him, so instead of turning inwards and dealing with his crap he then proceeds to consciously project shit onto you even when he knows he's in the wrong.
He'd rather argue the wrong point and behaviour than admit he's capable of making mistakes.
He will probably also try to hypnotise you into forgetting anything he thinks is undesirable you know about him too.
- You will need to actually teach him real consequences for his actions, but also need to be assuring him that you aren't going to do shit like Val would have or leave him for someone else and shit like that simultaneously.
He needs to essentially be taught consequences, boundaries, healthy relationship behaviour, etc. From absolute scratch. I would literally pay for this cunts therapy atp istg.
- And this is gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare because again, he doesn't want to admit that he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and that he's in the wrong. All that interferes with his image he wants to put out at all times in your relationship with him.
He's got masks on masks. Even one for your relationship. The second that cracks in any regard, he's gonna be rushing to compensate for that, and if that doesn't work, he's gonna be pissed and most likely end up pushing that onto you.
- Speaking of image. I mentioned this in a fic, but he'd most likely be extremely controlling over your freedom to disclose your relationship, too. If he thought you would look poor as a partner for his reputation (ie. Low status, bad reputation), he'd most likely never want to publicly reveal your relationship no matter how much he loves you - he'd likely hide this completely behind you having privacy but if you say you want people to know anyway he's going to slowly become more and more overtly pissy about it.
And, if you are openly known to be in a relationship, he will be wanting to control your own image as well.
If you step one foot out of line of what he deems perfect, good lord he will be an absolute nightmare.
- Also mentioned in another post, but he would absolutely also watch you through cameras you don't know are there. Same as what he's seen doing with Val.
- He's got practically zero qualms in the beginning of your relationship with violating your privacy or boundaries if he thinks he'll get away with it/that you won't find out about it. This also likely goes for things like checking your texts, calls, and search history without permission.
- The possibility that he'd try to interfere with your personal relationships if he thought they would try drag you away from him or if they take up a lot of your attention is also pretty present.
He's an incredibly jealous person (as seen by him seeming jealous of Angel with Val of all people), so the second he sees you giving someone else positive attention? He's gonna be fucking furious.
- Again, you could not be a pushover in your relationship with him because he'd be absolutely awful. You'd have to basically be reality checking him every three seconds - it's NOT for the faint of heart and even if you're incredibly patient you will probably be going insane from it at points.
Implying you can actually get him to change tho he would become a lot better - he's gonna be fighting you on practically everything because the second he feels out of control of a situation or himself he's gonna be freaking out.
He will probably be straight up terrified if it seems like you are making him 'change', even if it's for the better and will ultimately ALSO benefit him too.
The SECOND he feels out of control of a situation in any way, he will be terrible.
- Also, if you manage to push him on the path to behaviour management this cunt will be looking smug and proud of himself as all hell the second he even slightly does what you ask and will be a bitch if you don't rain down praise on him for it. 💀
- He's so positive attention motivated it's actually pathetic lmao
With that out of the way - the slightly better/good other stuff
- Vox works fucking nightmare hours with his position in hell, and he hates not being able to be around you much so he's almost always trying to make it up to you.
- He'll be on calls with you or texting you most hours of the day (even when he probably should not be) because he's honestly clingy as hell.
If you don't like having a million notifications from someone blowing up your phone with random shit then you are not going to like being apart from him because he is chronically on his phone.
- Another thing is the gifts.
If you want a sugar daddy aa boyfriend? This is the man for you because my God will he shower you with the most expensive gifts you have ever received. New phones, cars, jewellery, clothes, so on so on.
It's bad if you don't like consumerism and want to keep devices even if newer ones come out because the second something new comes out he's getting it for you - even before it becomes publicly available to the rest of hell, it's in your hands. He wants the best stuff and only the best stuff for you. How would that make him look if his partner didn't have all the best stuff? To you and also others
- Also, the second you mention you actually want or need something? It's there right in front of you. Bro has personal delivery drones, and it will be there in under 15 minutes delivered to you or someone's getting shot.
- I've seen a few people imply gift giving is his primary love language, and it's certainly up there, but I personally think that it's more likely acts of service.
This man never does anything for anyone unless it's to keep things from being annoying to him, self gain, or damaging his image. So for him to do things for you that he knows you want from him even if he doesnt particularly want to? He is well and truly in love with you, and that would be how he'd let you know that even if he isn't self-aware of it, lmao.
He doesn't like being told to do things, but he's really good at picking up on what people want usually (unless he's being delulu) so if he notices something or you mention stuff off-hand? He'll try to do it/get it/whatever it is for you.
Material things are just material things. He's rich, it doesn't mean that much to drop thousands for him. Him actually doing things for you, though? Even if it doesn't benefit him at all? That's something else entirely.
Will be annoying asf if you don't thank him enough for it, though. Ie. "Well, you're welcome then." While pouting at you.
- As for spending time with him:
I believe he constantly wants to be alone with you and only with you when he actually has time to do so, so he only wants dates to be one-on-ond most of the time.
There aren't exactly limits upon that, though, like at all.
He's absolutely rich and has ridiculous privileges so you could be on comfy home dates where you two just stay in and cuddle after eating dinner, or seeing concerts/watching movies/etc exclusively where they are not available to just anyone, or something fucking ridiculous like eating a fancy dinner at a custom designed restaurant just for dates under a goddamn aquarium (very likely ngl)
The second he gets to show off his power, he's gonna do it with a smug grin.
- He's also extremely big on physical touch but would never admit it. I already go over this in another entry, but he's gonna have a hand on you at all times (hand on your waist, hip or shoulder, purposely brushing against you more then he logically has to be, etc)
Brief mentions of sexual stuff here
I feel like he'd love someone big on physical touch - both in a sexual way but also especially in a non-sexual way.
He's not used to getting someone cuddling him or holding his hands or literally just touching him at all without some underlying ulterior motive, so he'd probably just melt into your touch.
Also I'll link the post bc there's further takes on this in it but they are ✨️sus✨️
- He would be extremely protective of you- this can absolutely become one of the blue sections really easily- but if you're in a relationship he's gonna be constantly concerned about your safety and whether you are at risk.
I mean, you're in hell. Just about anyone could turn out to be some maniac (ironic he would think that 🤨)
Anyways, point is, you'd be safe from any other maniacs. He would give you the best security and protection probably in hell.
Another thing is that he's gonna be super paranoid at all times about whether you're safe or not. Which would probably get honestly annoying rather than endearing at a point. 💀
- Even though he's really against revealing his more vulnerable parts and what he doesn't think are desirable of himself, he's absolutely craving emotional security with someone.
So when you get him passed that? He's gonna be so goddamn clingy - even more then before lmao.
Ending note
He's an absolute nightmare who's high maintenance asf and could become extremely abusive emotionally, but he really also needs to be romanced properly for that to actually get better by a partner who won't take his bs and knows how to take him down a peg and put him in his place when he's being awful.
And definitely therapy.
The fact that I think all this and know how much an awful person he is and still love him this much as a character has gotta indicate some sort of insanity/j
[ Masterlist ]
#hes really really problematic and just gross for a lot of reasons and i dont see a lot of people really acknowledging that in a lot of stuf#which kinda??? me because i feel like to properly love his character you need to actually acknowledge hes a piece of shit who you would -#avoid like the plague irl.#hes my little chatterbox fr tho <3#and i dont say that with the intent of dismissing what an asshole he is#he needs the worlds biggest humbling and reality check and power check on EARTH man#ive been writing this forever and im kinda scared i havent been able to portray my thoughts properly but if i dont post this it will prob-#never be posted with my perfectionism 💀#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#vox headcanons#vox#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox x reader
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AU where Sanji never actually left Germa, and Judge made him a test subject early on, successfully getting rid of his empathy after years of torture.
But like, he has those years of bullying from his brothers first, and his empathy’s gone but his anger’s still there. Also with no Zeff, he fights with his fists and doesn’t treat women Like That. Because Zeff’s the one who instilled in him to never hit a woman (and made it weird but that’s not the point).
He’s out on some mission in the Grand Line when he runs into the Straw Hats and he sees Zoro’s green hair and associates it with Yonji and he just haaaates him on sight.
The fight is super evenly matched and Zoro manages to knock him out eventually but he’s like what’s the guy’s DEAL. Wtf is his problem.
Maybe Law’s with them when it goes down and he recognizes that costume and fanboys…
Oh actually yeah— Law’s with them! And after Zoro knocks him out, Law goes into Creepy Surgeon Mode and is like for the love of god please let me get my fingers in that chest cavity
And everyone else (bar Robin ofc) is like Σ(゚д゚lll)
But Law gets a room going and finds all sort of odd Germa technology literally implanted in him and starts pulling it out and messing with it and suddenly Sanji wakes UP and he’s— he’s scared. And overwhelmed. He’s in real time having to reckon with years of torturing people.
And Law’s like oh the emotional part of this is not in my pay grade this is not my job anymore and dips.
So Sanji’s there in the Sunny’s infirmary like “I’m a monster I need to be put down oh my god” and Luffy shows up like HEY you’re cool as hell join my crew.
Zoro is not a fan of this option and also it turns out neither is Sanji BUT sanji has nowhere to go so he makes a deal to sail with them until the next habitable island. So Zoro watches him like a hawk bc he’s like “you’re definitely faking this and are gonna turn evil and try to kill people again right”
But instead he just keeps finding Sanji being really pathetic and sad and looking longingly at the kitchen (Robin doubles as the cook and her food is damn near inedible but that’s just the life of a pirate innit)
Late one night Zoro comes off watch and he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and he thinks OH he’s going to try to POISON US so he sneaks in after him and confronts him, swords and all. And Sanji, who knows what an awful person he’s been and knows he deserves death, just starts crying and is like “yeah you can kill me just let me cook one thing once I just want to remember what it feels like”
So Zoro lets him cook, and is like yeah I’m killing you after this, and Sanji spends a long time sniffling as he re-familiarizes himself with pots and pans and spices and knives and ends up making something garlic-y and delicious that smells strong enough to wake up the crew, and everyone traipses in enraptured by the smell. So Sanji serves them and Zoro tries it first because if it’s poisoned he’s not letting EVERYONE go down. But it’s not poisoned and it’s really good, and anyway Zoro can’t kill him now in front of everyone.
But three nights later the same thing happens— he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and follows him and Sanji says “I know you should’ve killed me last time but you couldn’t, I get that, but I’m dangerous. So let me cook just one more time and then you can kill me.”
And it doesn’t happen of course. Everyone comes in and everyone eats and Zoro watches Sanji recover a little of himself.
And so it goes. At first every few nights and then every other night, and then every single night.
And whenever Zoro comes in, Sanji says, I know I deserve to die but let me cook just one more thing.
And at some point Zoro stops thinking about killing Sanji. He’s a part of the crew now. He’s proving himself, and anyway Zoro can beat him and hold him down and Law can reverse whatever it is again if needs be.
So it’s just a thing they do. Zoro lightly threatens him and Sanji begs for his life and they move on. It’s routine but it doesn’t actually MEAN anything anymore.
That is, until one really bad night where Sanji doesn’t show up in the kitchen like he always does, and Zoro goes looking and finally finds him deep in the steerage, and Sanji says, “I can’t keep living like this, please just kill me. I can’t keep living knowing I’m going to die the next day.”
And Zoro’s like ???? You’re not gonna die the next day wtf
And Sanji says, please, just get it over with.
Zoro realizes that Sanji has continued all this time assuming Zoro really is coming to kill him every night
But it’s been MONTHS at this point. Surely he wouldn’t still think—
But Sanji’s wracked with more than a decade’s worth of guilt, is so sure he deserves the worst the world possibly has to offer.
Too bad Zoro’s a little in love with him at this point. And says anyone who wants to kill Sanji will have to go through Zoro first.
Which Sanji DOESNT UNDERSTAND and he doesn’t understand the kiss Zoro follows it up with, but he returns it. Greedily.
Because as much as he knows he deserves death, he also relishes every moment of life, every chance to feel the emotions he wasn’t allowed. And Zoro goes from jailer to protector in his mind. Slowly. Hesitantly.
He spends years working through the trauma, decades really, but the simplicity with which Zoro sees the world helps. Zoro doesn’t blame him. Zoro loves him. Sanji doesn’t know much but he knows he’ll defend this ship that saved him with his life.
And he knows Zoro wouldn’t let Sanji defend HIM with his life, because Zoro views his life as precious and important.
Which is something Sanji is still learning.
He’ll get there.
#zosan#it’s always a toss up what fics to write vs what to just throw out into the void like this#uhhhhh I need a tag for this#would this go in the Zosan fanfic tag I dunno if that’s just for finished fic#my writing#I guess that works#anyway cross posted from twitter since I have like 3 followers lmao#and tbh it’s been a week I’m still thinking about this#(I’m thinking about writing omegaverse Zosan more tho)#(and ptsd law who’s scared of luffy)#(too little time in the world)
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teru & socialization
i've posted about this before but something ive been thinking about a LOT is mp100's themes of loneliness (and eventual connections). i think this is an aspect of teru's character (in particular) that gets left out because it's not as explicit but i've been wanting to do a deep dive on it for a while and i finally sat down to do it. just a warning, this post is gonna be LONG.
these two panels are from chapter 16 of the manga (which i'm using for my evidence because i. dont want to scrub through the anime LOL). initial sentiment: teru uses his powers to cheat having friends/a good social life and wouldn't have that if he tried earnestly. this is a fair interpretation of the scene. with what we know, at this point of time (as in within the teru-mob fight) teru would not be able to connect with other people earnestly, due to his mindset. which i think is a fair interpretation, HOWEVER:
(from chapter 17 ^^) the first panel shows teru's expression to be strained and the second is visibly unhappy. this puts the first set of panels into a different context, that maybe underneath all of this, teru doesn't WANT any of this life that he's built. keep in mind that i'm analyzing this with teru's possible autistic tendencies in mind & you dont have to believe he's autistic, im not your dad, but i do find this a pretty meaningful indication of masking if he were
(note: yes, the strain can definitely be read as comp-het, and i would agree but that's not relevant so go read this post on that instead)
even if the rest of these panels show teru content with his life, i think these expressions are pretty vital to how we read his life especially because we know so little of it. think about it, if you were a kid desperate for affection because you couldn't get it anywhere else, especially not in a way that would come off as "mature" or "unaffected", wouldn't you also look for validation in your popularity? even if it aligned you with people who you consider fundamentally different to you? my point here is that teru can't not stand out-- it's in his nature-- and we are shown how he tries to blend in & receive attention in the only way possible to him; which is to say that he molds himself into something that is palatable, likeable, and superior to other people. if he's nothing, like mob, he has spent his entire life covering up for it. if he fails socially, like mob, he has to be good at everything (even if he cheats to do so) so that everyone else can look past it.
(side note for my teru angst enjoyers: this is a panel of his mom. the mom who he hasn't seen in years. doesn't it make sense that, if he hasn't heard his mom say he's proud of him for literal years, that he would overachieve in response? not related to the autism thing i just have the teru bug. also don't be misogynistic in my notes both his parents suck we just get a singular mention of his mom)
so if teru couldn't meaningfully have friends before mob, that could very easily be because of his past mindset, right?
...except, we don't.. really... see him make other friends afterwards.
but, the awakening lab, right?
(ok i lied to you sorry there is one anime screenshot and thats because it stood out to me while i rewatched it earlier this month. sorry.) id like to bring attention to this screenshot during the cultural festival because the awakening lab can definitely be seen as a direct contradiction of this and i'd like to point out a couple things:
1) in this scene the shiratori brothers are in another room 2) them and the other three are friends with ritsu (or at least close enough acquaintances to want to see him).
considering this is one of the only times they appear together for Fun i am more inclined to believe this is an encounter where they went together because they all would've gone separately anyway. this isn't to discount the possible bond that these characters might have, but thats the thing. we... aren't really shown that they're friends and enjoy spending time together outside of this screenshot, where two out of six of the members are not even present. not to mention that teru is still placing himself in a role separate from his peers. despite stripping the superiority away, teru is still the awakening lab's mentor, not friend. teru still views himself as fundamentally different in a context where his psychic powers don't make him that way.
...except with mob. i bring this placement of power up because where he is the awakening lab's mentor, teru declares mob to be his rival, or, in other words, teru is just like him. he is accepting that mob and him are the same. (and if we view mob from an autistic lens... so on and so forth)
as if to hammer in that point even further-- in the summer vacation omake, teru explicitly states that "summer break is just a super long, super boring stretch of alone time." i'm not sure of the timeline here, but guessing from the hair, we're at least post season 1. which gives us explicit confirmation here that teru is spending the break alone despite his relationship to the awakening lab. his connection to mob is a lifeline here because mob is one of the only people who can intuitively understand teru's isolation without judgment
(also, on that point of teru's autistic tendencies: teru does and says a LOT of things that would raise other peoples eyebrows and doesn't seem to notice.
here we get teru actively admitting to his home life, right in front of reigen, WHO COULD CALL CHILD SERVICES ON HIM? this genuinely made me rethink this character entirely. teru's filter is... minimal. he isn't constantly volunteering information and generally minds his own business, but if you ask? Well.
teru is a social person, but to say he is proficient in understanding social situations seems... wrong. teru views his loneliness as boring because, despite being fairly open, does not actually allow himself to think about his own feelings and how they affect him. this loneliness is boring because he doesn't have enough of a reference to realize its not
if we are taking pre-mob teru to be a version of himself who is masking, or at the very least someone who is faking a lot of stuff in a less autistic sense, the fight with mob changes teru to the point where he no longer hides himself. in the same way that mob was able to shake teru's fragile superiority complex i think the change in appearance marks the end of the self teru had built up. from this point on we see him become a lot more... Him. his appearance and his fashion choices are, presumably, completely normal to him and we get no indication that he believes otherwise despite the reactions it gets-- which is... well, i wouldn't be writing this post if i thought it was one of his most neurotypical traits.
in fact, he seems... pretty oblivious to what other people think of him. which is an interesting distinction to make considering the intelligence we Know he possesses (which is not to say that you are unintelligent if you don't pick up on social cues, just that its common for media to depict it that way.) these traits are made pointedly, even if unintentionally, separate, ESPECIALLY when you note the amount of characters who Do ruminate on or stare at teru's appearance.
some examples. i don't even think this is all of it-- case in point.)
#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 meta#mp100 analysis#teruki hanazawa#fun fact this post was originally going to be about terus autistic traits and then i got scared sorry#mostly bc i was pointing out stuff that made me go Hes just like me Frrrr...#and i dont actually know if thats a good metric bc im only like 90% sure im autistic#tho i think writing 1000+ words on a characters potential autism is. um. its. well.#text#ok ive gone back and forth on posting this a billion times bc ive looked at it too much JUST READ THEPOST
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc68dbbedbf2f3582ab0e5d2305f42b0/db7bd4b92c8ec279-ce/s540x810/e915dc93071d61894187df1450569d2ee6a20118.jpg)
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Fanart of the Vees for my phone case muahajhajahajhaa
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b1d8ed3e31c32b9e18221f52b04f0b20/db7bd4b92c8ec279-12/s540x810/7dd99d21cba13fe4013970a3d23d137db5d11abf.jpg)
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel the vees#hazbin hotel Valentino#hazbin hotel Vox#hazbin hotel Velvette#hazbin velvette#velvette fanart#hazbin vox#Vox#voxval#polyamory#poly vees#velvette x vox#not Velvette x Valentino tho#muahahaha#that’s what a vee is UwU#fanart#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel fandom#I wanna write for them but I’m scared it’ll be ooc
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Reread/skimmed my oldest Pharma apologism posts (mainly the ones about Pharma not being a functionist) and it just occurred to me that possibly another reason the fandom saddled Pharma with the "functionist bigot" label is because his introduction by First Aid says that everyone hates Decepticons, but Pharma really really hates Decepticons. Mix that with the portion of the fanbase that lionizes and whitewashes the Decepticons, and I can easily see it entering common fanon that "Pharma hates Decepticons -> the Decepticons are freedom fighters wrongly maligned by the Autobots/the franchise -> Pharma must be a bigoted functionist since he hates Decepticons who represent freedom."
The simpler explanation is just that Pharma is an antagonist and therefore gets the "everything about him must be evil and wrong" black-and-white analysis so common in fandoms in general, but given some of the bizarre Decepticon takes I've seen I can also easily see Pharma's Decepticon hatred being taken as a sign of him being bigoted and evil.
Though AGAIN in this case it would still be singling Pharma out as a bigot for crimes/flaws that multiple other Autobots are guilty of like.
Oh, Pharma hates Decepticons? Well a lot of other Autobots hate Decepticons too, First Aid's narration about Pharma even says "we all hate Decepticons"; for that matter, there are a lot of Decepticons who hate Autobots. It's a massive civil war that's lasted for a lifetime causing two groups of people to be stuck in a near-permanent blood feud, you can't assume that every Autobot who hates Decepticons (and vice versa) hates them because they're a bigot. Maybe there's been a war where both sides have been building an ever-increasing mountain of reasons to hate each other, so hating the opposite faction is a social problem caused by war and politics rather than a sign of individual moral failing.
Pharma worked at the New Institute so that means he must be evil/bigoted? Chromedome and Brainstorm also worked at the New Institute, but there's no widespread fandom shunning of them or headcanoning them as bigots.
Hell, even the very premise of assuming Pharma is a functionist bigot for hating Decepticons is ignoring the very premise of Pharma's motives, which are, uh... being blackmailed by the leader of the Decepticon Justice Division, who represents the ultimate form of Decepticon ideals to the point of literally wearing their symbol as his mask? So how were we jumping straight to "oh Pharma hates Decepticons bc he's a posh bigoted functionist" when there was a far more immediate interpretation/headcanon of "Pharma hates Decepticons because he's being tortured and blackmailed by one."
That's not to say that Pharma couldn't have hated Decepticons before Delphi, and I think you could make interesting headcanons/extrapolations based on either idea. But still. It kinda feels like people saw Pharma and just wanted to make him the Token Evil Autobot who's the opposite of our Good Heroic Autobots regardless of whether evidence from canon supported it or not.
Good riddance to bigoted functionist Pharma fanon, I'm so glad that the majority of Pharma fanon these days actually gives him a chance and puts him on equal footing as other Autobots.
#squiggposting#that and there's that weird thing where people treat(ed) pharma as if he's starscream lite#so like bc they see starscream as posh and elitist and vain (how did that happen btw)#they basically go oh pharma must also be the same way#also how did ppl ever see pharma as posh when he speaks in the same register as everyone else and if anything has a campy flair to him#you can't look me in the eye and tell me this chaotic theatrical gremlin ass freak is a posh elitist like slkfjsldk#not mentioning the flyers=oppressed thing in this meta bc that bit of worldbuilding was established way later#tho i cannot entirely fault ppl for painting pharma as evil and treating him with double standards compared to other autobots#i mean literally in the same issue he was introduced he caught flak for giving in to DJD blackmail#whereas other characters explicitly speak about how scary/scared they are of the djd#so like it's clear pharma WAS meant to be the token evil autobot with compromised morals#who was so selfish as to (gasp) take a blackmail deal to keep him and his facility from painful torturous death#and then when he was already trapped in the deal be forced to eventually kill patients to keep up#how dare he. should've stood up to tarn and instantly been murdered like a good autobot#sorry for being pithy lol the apologism got a little too strong there#pharma apologism#also i think the way JRO writes if pharma was supposed to be bigoted you would like. be able to tell#JRO is not subtle about writing p much every bigoted character as massively flamingly racist/functionist/etc
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i got reminded of an old post I made saying that nightmare can't be a capitalist and I'm just realizing now that I WAS WOOBIFYING HIM
#the mental gymnastics I pulled to justify his actions were crazy. its easier to just say that he sucks. because he does.#I can't believe it... what CRACK was I on..... with the way he rules things he's almost a dictator.........#and somehow I thought that him just describing himself as a capitalist was too much.#guess I was just scared that people would. idk. yell at me???????? because even tho he's horrible he gets a (somewhat) happy ending?#and. listen man. sometimes I get reminded of people's terrifying reaction to how the diamonds were not given devine karmic punishment-#-in steven universe and I get scared to just put nuance in my writing.#without adding that I'm talking to the utmv fandom on the piss on the poor website.#being misunderstood scares me. and sometimes I get worried that people would mentally profile me for my opinions on fictional characters.#which isn't always a smart thing to do. but it does happen.#to my beloved mutual who tagged me saying that he was a capitalist and I said no.#yes he is 100% a capitalist. no idea what was on.#✏️#🖍️
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(arriving to the w359 fandom with cold coffee in its hands) eiffera catfishing au where eiffel is a radio host and hera's an ai that sometimes calls in to talk on his show
at some point eiffel starts flirting with her and eventually they start texting and calling as they get closer; hera then makes the horrible choice to lie to eiffel and send pictures of maxwell telling him it's her...
eiffel tricking hera into giving him her address so he can "send something nice", but then showing up to alana's apartment like SURPRISE
maxwell being like... oh no. oh god the ai i created for my phd project with the help of my toxic ex gf (we dont have time to unpack that) catfished a guy. jacobi stop laughing, there is a middle aged man in my bedroom at the verge of tears in front of my computer, get your gay ass here immediately and no, i dont care you finally landed a date with your boss whom you said you wanted to kill a week ago.
#eiffera#wolf 359#this is currently a fic im writing i just wanted to put this out here so im forced to finish writing it lol#the kepcobi thing there at the end MAY end up being another fic (tho probably not bcs im scared to write kepler that mf seems hard to write#anyways EIFFERA.... SAVE ME EIFFERA...... SAVE ME......#w359
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horror book anon reminded me you also read sci-fi books and I've been wanting to read more. got any reccs for sci-fi?
idk if you're into cyberpunk stuff at all but if u haven't read Neuromancer it's well worth checking out! it's the book that most directly inspired the Matrix--in fact it coined terms like "the Matrix" and "jacking in" and "cyberspace". If you don't mind insane technobabble and frantic pacing that can get a bit mealy and hard to parse it fucks. it fucks. his prose is so abrasive and stylish its flashy and smells like chemicals and burning hair.
(it also came out in 1984 so some aspects haven't aged perfectly so keep that in mind also).
(also the next two books in the Sprawl trilogy are also very good but once again look up trigger warnings if applicable cuz theres some Stuff in the last two especially)
#kind of a basic recommendation but Neuromancer inspired so much sci fi shit of today you can really see its influence everywhere#and a lot of ppl dont seem to have read it so#also fun fact tho bladerunner came out when Gibson was like 3/4 of the way thru writing neuromancer#and it resembled the world he was imagining so closely he left the theater because he got scared 😂
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"Caleb's so possessive" "Caleb scares me" okay valid but how are people not talking about MC??!!!! like girl I was shocked, which is an understatement because girlie matched his freakkkk fr
AND IM LIVING FOR AN OTOME MC BEING MESSY AS HELL
You thought Caleb was bad?? Oh buddy wait till you find out MC was just as much of a red flag as he is 😭 "... wants that cookie so bad" applies to both of them atp the delulu is off the charts
#love and deep space#love and deepspace caleb#lads#lads caleb#mc#otome game#scifi#infold#I didn't like the fact he drugged mc tho#but wow whoever is writing his character and story was COOKING#his myth when they were at the amusement park 🤯 if thats the pg version then.. whats his spicy card gonna be like IM SCARED
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