#saying this not bc im upset or anything just. im not gonna be able to give u a good answer to ur ask at all. bc i really dont like laurance

[velvetvexations]

hi velvet, i hope this ask finds you well. something happened to me irl a month or two ago and i just cant stop thinking about it, it just shocked and frustrated me so much

so i was hanging out with a couple of my friends (a cis guy who i will call S and two transfems, M and B) at M and B's dorm room, and we were all having a good time, horsing around for a bit and then we eventually got to talking about M's family and their reaction to her being queer and trans. her parents are a little weird about it but supportive enough that she's allowed to openly wear what she wants and date who she wants. after she was done sharing i shared a little bit about my family (very unsupportive, i never plan on coming out to them or sharing anything about my love life to them in any way if i can help it. i am 3 months on T and i plan on never telling them, if the topic of it comes up im just gonna straight up lie.)

after i shared a bit she kind of interrupted me and said "at least you get the short end of the trans stick you know?" and i asked her "huh what are you talking about" "you know, us trans girls they just kill us they kind of just leave you alone (in a sort of jokey tone)" and i looked at S and B to gauge their reactions and they both looked really uncomfortable and like they didn't know what to say. so i said "no?? they kill us too" B and S nodded a little bit and then M said "yeah but they like give you some extra time first at least (laughing nervously a bit)" "yeah thats when they're raping us, corrective rape is a huge issue for trans men" (in hindsight this was fucked up to say but i was upset and wanted to point out that trans men don't get extra grace from transphobes) and then we changed the subject

that whole interaction has really stuck with me, it really really sucked to have TRF rhetoric literally said to my face by someone who i really like and respect and love spending time with :(( ive talked to S about it a couple of times to try and get it off my chest but understandably he stays out of trans infighting discourse so he's just like "yeah that was weird it's understandable that it hurt your feelings" and thats all he has to say on the matter and i havent talked to B about the incident bc M is its roommate and best friend and i don't wanna split hairs but it's refreshing that it agreed with me in the moment

i just don't know that was a shitty moment that happened for sure

I'm very sorry, anon. I'm gullible and always looking for the best in people, but also in case it might help you process it, it sounds like maybe she realized she said something massively wrong and awkwardly tried to walk it back with a joke that made it worse? Like she is not necessarily a complete apricot-aligator which, I know, low bar, but. IDK maybe talk to her about it? Hopefully she'd understand and yall would be able to clear the air.

[t4tdanvis]

/lh /nm but like i really dont like laurance, mcd laurance especially, please just talk to somebody else about him bc 99% of the time i just dont want to talk about him 😭 like 90% of the people in this fandom love laurance and will give u a better reply than "oh. cool (<- barely disguised rage towards laurance)" or whatever

[phagodyke]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[lilac-melody]

I knew today was going to be a bad day.

[meimeikyu]

im nothing but a failure i cant do anything right

[xx-tellmewhatyoudtake-xx]

.

[shadebloopnik]

This is gonna sound SOOO off or smthn but

Was the Perfect Family Harmony planned to be a weapon against the Bergens?

Long post ahead bc brain is rotting

Ok so as we know, the Perfect Family Harmony is smthn that's so powerful that its capable of shattering diamonds. Not just that but its one of the only thing capable of doing so(according to Floyd it was the only thing but giving the benefit of the doubt)

So we know its strong, and we saw it blasting off Velvet and Veneer off their platforms when they performed it, and they weren't even the targets, they were blasted away by just the shockwave that came with using it.

"Its that powerful."

Ok, so its definitely powerful enough to be used as a weapon right? Yeah it was relatively safe enough to use in front of a crowd, else they wouldn't have tried to do it during a concert, but that could just be when those harmonizing aren't targeting anything.

If it could shatter diamonds, how easily could it break cages? What would it do if it was used to target a Bergen? A whole Kingdom of Bergens?

Lets also go back to that concert, to that time John was obsessed with them getting it right. They were in the Troll tree, in Bergentown, a place where any of them could die during Trollstice. The Bergens were a huge threat, something that trolls, at their size, couldn't fight back against normally so they had to run instead right?

But what if they COULD fight back? What if they had a weapon so powerful that it might finally be able to free them? To defeat the monsters that tortured their kind for centuries?

What if John Dory found a way to help make sure nothing would threaten his brothers' safety ever again?

Like, it'd make John Dory's obsession make SOOO MUCH MORE SENSE

Like yea he clearly has OCD and anxiety and some bossiness and that definitely added to it all, but imagine if it was more than that?

Look at him during that performance. He was in deep. He had a wild look in his eyes, a sort of deranged obsession to have everything be perfect no matter what. It wasn't healthy, it was scary, maybe even downright terrifying for his brothers who had to be subjected to it.

But you know what else he looked like?

Terrified

Man was scared out of his mind. His anxiety and stress levels were through the roof. He probably was one wrong tune away from hyperventilating.

What if it was bc it was so much more than the fans? What if he put the salvation of the entire troll-kind on his shoulders?

One wrong step meant they were nothing.

One wrong step meant disappointing the fans.

One wrong step meant letting down the kingdom.

One wrong step meant another troll getting eaten.

Thats why when they failed, John blew up. He took all of that self-hatred of failing to use that weapon to defeat the bergens and poured it all onto his brothers.

"I know we can reach the Perfect Family Harmony."

"What if we don't want to."

John Dory, blind to how and WHY his brothers didn't want to follow his lead, felt betrayed.

To him, all he's ever done was to ensure their safety, everything was for the greater good. He'd done everything he could, his goals slowly twisting him into a crazed obsession. To hear his brothers say they didn't want to help anymore might've struck a cord too much. If you'd noticed he actually looked really sad and hurt when they started bringing up how much they hated being in the band, but it slowly twisted to anger instead. Kind of in a like, "I tried doing everything for these shts and THIS is how they repay me???" way. He was so stressed and stuck in his own head with his failures that he just couldn't see what his brothers were trying to say.

So in a fit of impulsive rage, he left. To him it probably was like that rlly childish way of saying "Yea im leaving, good luck dealing with the Bergens while im goneee." You know? Like how kids runaway from home when they get angry or upset over every little thing but come back when they realize how stupid that was?

"Im not allowed to change."

And he DID come back. Who knows how long, but he did. Imagine how he must've felt seeing their empty pod in an empty tree, with the knowledge that he could've done something about it. The Perfect Family Harmony could've saved them. They could've used it to break the cage, to fight the Bergens. Hell, it could've been powerful enough to wipe out all the Bergens if they do so wished.

"Im the oldest, I have to be the leader."

He and his brothers were the only ones who'd ever gotten close to getting it right.

"Why do you think I moved into the middle of nowhere? So I didn't have to be in charge of anyone."

The village was counting on them. Counting on him. He let them down. He failed.

"Freeing the village Four little brothers is a lot of responsibility."

They could've gotten it. If only John did it right. If only John did it differently.

If only John Dory was Perfect

[ilypaigebuckets]

Dating Kate Martin Headcannons!

little head cannon post bc i have so little written for kate! sorry i haven’t been active ive just been so busy but im otw to the lizzy mcalpine concert sorry just doxxed myself maybe?? idk but yay so fun but yeah im not busy after tn like no plans whatsoever 🥳

- kate definitely fell first

- i don’t think she’d be like ACTIVELY looking for a partner i think she just saw you and was like “yep i want that one” but was too scared to actually pursue you

- caitlin definitely had to hype her up to ask you out on a first date

- your guys’ first date is definitely something cozy and personable like a little coffee shop or cafe. even though it’s simple, kate would be so nervous. you guys spend the time together getting to know each other and for your second date you invite her over to your apartment that evening to watch a movie and have dinner

- she definitely kisses you on the second date bc she’s such a uhaul and already knows you’re gonna be special to her

- her love languages are definitely physical touch and quality time, and words of affirmation too!!

- she loves having full on cuddle sessions with you in the mornings, before bed, even in the middle of the afternoon when you guys have a spare moment to kill. she’s the self proclaimed queen of cuddles and always tries to scoop you up into her lap whenever she gets the chance.

- kate always wants to be touching you, no matter where you are. even in public, she’ll be hugging you from behind or holding your hand. her teammates have definitely had to tell her to cool it with the pda once or twice because she’s so enticed by you she totally forgets about everyone else around you two.

- kate’s always making time for you. even if you guys are just studying for your classes in silence or she meets up with you to walk you to your lecture, she enjoys it because it’s with you.

- she wants you to come to all of her games. one time you missed one of her away games due to a family get together and she was really upset by it. she wasn’t mad at you or anything, but she was definitely pouting about how much she missed you.

- kate is such a sweetheart to you. if you’re feeling down about yourself, best believe she will be able to tell!! she writes sweet sayings and positive affirmations on little sticky notes and puts them up on your refrigerator and bathroom mirror for you to look at.

- she loves taking care of you, to her you’re her little baby. if you’ve had a tough week, she’ll lay down with you to take a nap and after you fall asleep she’ll get up and tidy your room up a bit. you wake up feeling so grateful for her but she assures you that she’s just a neat freak and it was her pleasure to

- she’s a super patient, and i think she’d definitely find that attractive in you so i don’t think you guys would have too many fights.

- most of your fights are probably driven by jealousy on either side. kate loves you so much and she sometimes gets paranoid your eyes will wander somewhere else. you love kate just as much, and all of the fans writing flirty comments to her definitely makes you insecure from time to time.

- when you fight, you and kate never yell at each other. you’re more passionate, while she’s more calm and collected so you might shed a few tears trying to prove a point. once she sees that you’re crying, though, it’s game over and she squashes the entire thing and rushes over to hold you in her arms. she hates seeing you upset, and she hates even more that it’s partly because of her.

- kate definitely loves attention and gets annoyed/slightly jealous when you talk to her teammates over her

- “i just don’t understand why you were talking to caitlin for SO LONG y/n. do you think she’s cooler than me?” and she shows her little puppy dog eyes and pouts her lip at you and you almost fall for it

- nicknames: for kate, you definitely call her love, lovebug, baby, sweet little names like that. kate calls you baby, princess and have you guys seen her tattoo that says sunshine? she would definitely call you her sunshine too (i have a fic idea for this so lmk if you want me to write itttt)

[ddejavvu]

ANI THOUGHTS HI IM HERE IM HERE

U want him to spank you because you’ve been so bad!!! teasing him all day!!! but he can’t hurt you too much because he loves you too much??? so after every spank he’s just absolutely tumbling out praises and saying how much he loves you and how you take him so well all the time that you’re confused as to whether this is a punishment or a reward because you’re about to cum just from him speaking to you thank you goodbye it’s late and I definitely have better ideas to present to you my monarch 🧎

send me dirty anakin thoughts <33

my monarch... stop no way i'm on my knees <33 i loved this and i'll definitely enjoy any other ideas you might have to giggle with me about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this post is 18+, minors dni.

no bc i'm all for absolutely depraved insane anakin but also there is something so special to me about anakin who's so tender and sweet and loving that he just can't fathom hurting you!!! but you've begged him, you tell him that if he doesn't want to he doesn't have to, but you're not going to be upset with him either way and you'd really like for him to spank you a little bit <33 after all that's why you've been so cheeky today? did he not notice? and he starts to flash back to all of the times you'd bent over in front of him or squeezed a little too far up his thigh and it clicks in his head he's like oh. that was you trying to get on my nerves.

but the thing is nothing you do could ever get on his nerves. he's not annoyed that he's half-hard in the middle of a council meeting, his robes cover it anyways and he's just so happy you had your hands on him in the first place. he's not upset that you flashed your cleavage at him and then left without letting him touch you, he's thrilled to have seen your tits at all <3 anakin is so desperate for you that literally no amount of teasing is ever gonna frustrate him it's all gonna be purely satisfactory, bless him <3

but he's willing to at least try spanking you because obviously you want it and he wants nothing more than to make you happy and make you feel good so he's ushering you into his lap so that you can perch on his thighs. he balances you kind of precariously where your ass is hanging off of his knees but you're leaning against his chest, and you're like ani wait i'll lay over your lap- and he wraps his arms around you and goes 'no. i want to hold you, angel, i want to kiss you. i want you near me.' and boy does that work wonders for the butterflies in your stomach!!! so you let him press his mouth to your own and kiss you so so soft and sweet and tender and loving while his free hand rubs gently over the skin of your ass that's hung off of his knees just enough to give him a big enough target. his first slap is honestly pathetic, more of a pat than anything, but he murmurs a sweet 'iloveyou' into your mouth and you grip at his tunic and beg him to do it harder

once he actually gets going, he's good at it. he sets a good rhythm, and always makes sure to rub your sore ass all nice and soft to soothe the stinging sensation of his palm later. but all the while he's spilling praises and compliments onto your tongue, speaking into your mouth and assuring you that 'you're perfect' and that 'you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen' and that 'you're so good for me' and that 'i love you more than life itself''

it's so hard to stay perched on his lap like that!!!!!! you want him to be able to smack your ass more but your cunt is literally drooling onto his knees and they're offering you such firm, delicious friction when you grind against them that you want to lunge forwards and bounce yourself on his dick until you're both seeing stars <3 he definitely fucks you well after that, if you beg for him with big teary eyes he'll kiss away the moisture on your face and pacify you with his cock while telling you that you're perfect and he loves you <333

in future you always request that he uses his prosthetic hand to do it, because whether he's got his glove on or not it's so thrilling to feel either cool metal or cool leather against your ass <3333 butttt of course he uses his other hand too sometimes, because there's something undeniably filthy about the sound of his skin cracking against yours that he can't refuse.

[hyenagurl]

im really upset. so there was this guy i had like barely even a casual fling with nearly five years ago, i broke it off shortly after for a myriad of reasons: he gave me chlamydia (idc about admitting these things) and didnt even own up to it when i told him even tho he was the only one who could have given me it, he may have had a girlfriend… and he wasnt all that good in the sack. even kind of pushy a little bit. anyways, i made the mistake of being his friend kind of, or at least hanging out in a group setting. but every time i did he would without fail proposition me for sex after even though i had told him i didnt want to anymore! this would happen until 2021… when finally it went too far. one day i got WAY too drunk at my friend’s pool and he had pulled up. like i was throwing up in the bushes and i passed out and slept on the pool chair ( this was back in my era of drinking like an asshole, i dont do this and watch my intake like a hawk now). this motherfucker… he bundled me up into his van and took me to his place… WHEN I LIVED A BLOCK AWAY AT THAT TIME… and put me in his bed. i was sick and like barely able to move. anyways he asked to cuddle, i was like fine i guess bc i was too crummy to leave, and before long he was like.. “hey i want to give you head rn”…. FUCKING YUCK. i said no ofc and that was the last of that, but of course i was so sketched out that before long i said i was just gonna go home, so i got up and walked home at like 5am.

anyways after that i blocked him. i would see him at shows staring at me and i would death glare him, he would view my insta with side profiles, and there were times where he would show up at my work and when i would have taken his order, id have a coworker do it. real creep shit. once at a show i was talking with a bestie and he came up and invited her to smoke in his van and i got this weird feeling and left all anxious.

so fast forward to this year, i just had a sleepover with that same bestie, who happens to also be friends and an on/off fwb with him, and she said hes been saying the exact fucking opposite. that i started beefing with him for no reason, that IM the one who insisted i go to his place and that he had to kick ME out, and he even told her that time he pulled her aside at that show to smoke was just an excuse to get her away from me.

im fucking mad. this man who disrespected me and exposed me to an std, who borderline creeped on me in my drunken state, admitted to attempting to meddle in my friendship and has been spreading lies about his behavior towards me and making ME the aggressor in this. what is wrong with men?

he treats my friend like shit too, like one time he kicked her out of his car after she told him she started seeing someone, gave HER an std too, disrespects her boundaries. she struggles with telling men to fuck off like i used to so im worried for her and im trying to convince her to drop him.

i REALLY want to confront him and tear him apart for what hes been saying, but she specifically asked me not to do anything bc she doesnt want him to start drama with her. so ig im stuck. i told her tho that if i see him again i will say something. i was too soft on him.

[localemofreak]

I’m sorry (not really) but this needs to be said in the MCR fandom- I love every single member, no matter where you come from, but seriously I think this needs to be told.

‼️WARNING: SMALL RANT ABOUT MCR AND THE LONG LIVE THE BLACK PARADE TOUR‼️

I’m sorry but like, I have seen SO MANY people complain and be so ungrateful about this new MCR tour, and it’s genuinely driving me nuts.

(Btw this is copied and pasted from a little rant I made on discord)

Tbh I have seen A LOT of people complaining about the pricing of the tour tickets, and I understand that they were definitely super expensive but like, idk if people realize that literally MCR does not control the prices of tickets, at all- literally the venues do, so they have zero say in the prices- and none of the money goes to them anyway, it goes to the greedy ass venues, and the only money they get is from merch, it’s literally the same with every band- small or big, they get NO money from the tickets, only merch- that’s why bands are always like “please buy merch” bc that’s where they get their money from.. also MCR isn’t a small band anymore like they were back in the day- tickets are obviously gonna be pricey, that’s sadly how the world and economy works.

And I’m aware most of the rage was from the fact of bots buying and reselling tickets for thousands of bucks- is there things they could have done to prevent lots of bots from buying tickets? Most likely, but still- no matter what, it was going to sell out asap, and tickets were gonna be expensive no matter what- MCR cannot control that, it is not their fault. They are a big band, with millions of fans worldwide- they are going to take the easier route obviously with selling tickets, but I’m not denying that you can’t be upset- you have every right to be, but bots buying tickets is NOT the bands fault, so don’t blame them for something they literally can’t control.

And people saying they keep “teasing mcr5 but don’t give any mcr5 shit”, I’m sorry- but they have literally NEVER teased mcr5.. we just have fun as fans and suspect something new and out of the usual MCR related automatically equals MCR5.. but literally the band has never even mentioned, spoke, hinted, teased- ANYTHING about a new album..

And I’m sorry but I dislike these people who are like “if they aren’t gonna do a full tour for ALL fans, they might as well not do a tour at all-“ IM SORRY BUT I WANT TO SEE THEM.. I’m sorry for the fans overseas, but literally- there is people in North America that want to see them, so just because YOU can’t see them.. doesn’t mean the American and Canadian fans shouldn’t get the opportunities to see them. This will be my first ever MCR show I have ever seen and I’ve been a fan for YEARS- and i am so grateful and lucky to be able to see them, but just because they chose to do one section of planet earth (and they will definitely tour more after this, come on- just look at Gerard at WWWY.. is that really the face of a man who never wants to tour again??- MCR is going to do more tours.) doesn’t mean that those people shouldn’t get the opportunity to see them, y’all will still get your clips, y’all will get your photos- even if it was only a European tour, I wouldn’t be complaining about not being able to go, them touring only a small part of one continent in my opinion is better than no tour at all.

All I can really say is, let’s just let it cook- obviously they have things in store for us all, let’s keep the complaining down yk?- because I’m just happy that they are touring once again, no matter where the tour is. I’m just happy we get to see them again.

“They should have given people more time to prepare to buy tickets” Yeah 100% I agree, they should have definitely gave us a warning to save money up, but the people complaining about the tour in its entirety.. like, maybe they want to stay in North America to be close to family??- maybe they have other projects??.. and also maybe it is probably something to bring up the American people after everything went to fucking shit obviously with the election- I think people just need to be glad they are actually doing something instead of complaining and saying they shouldn’t tour at all, because no matter where they tour- fans are not gonna be able to see them, and some fans are, that’s how the world works- and complaining isn’t going to fix anything, in fact- it could cause MCR to either pause or stop the tour altogether in fear of being cancelled or controversy, literally they do not control the prices of tickets or what people do with the tickets- including bots, so don’t go blaming them for something they literally CANT CONTROL.

And honestly, I’m sorry but people shouldn’t be complaining about it being a basically only United States tour- like with everything going on in this country, it was the perfect time- because literally I think a lot of people needed a distraction from all the fucked up shit that’s happening over here.. and MCR is an American band with American members, so it’s obviously effecting them as well- so I really think this is a perfect and good thing for American MCR fans rn.

ALSO people saying “they don’t care” um.. they literally have enough money to retire and live the rest of their lives without doing shit if they wanted too.. they are literally taking time out of THEIR LIVES instead to go tour around and preform for fans, when they could literally just stay at home and raise their kids. THEY DONT HAVE TO DO THIS, this is literally a blessing that they are still touring, because they literally don’t have too, but they CHOOSE TO PERFORM- because they care about the fans, new and old. They want people to be able to experience seeing them live, because they are aware of the impact they make on people’s lives- and tbh, I think they are still VERY humble people compared to their level of fame- they still take pics with fans when asked, sign autographs, all that shit when literally they don’t have too- they still stay down to earth and give fans stuff when they literally don’t have too. So just because they aren’t going to your country, or you can’t get tickets- doesn’t mean nobody else is allowed to have fun and see them. And it’s obvious, they literally have more in store for us all- so people shouldn’t rush to conclusions and be like “oh but they are leaving out the rest of the fans!” No they aren’t.. trust me- they aren’t, they remember you guys, but right now they are doing this- and that’s completely fine, because it’s THEIR BAND, THEIR SONGS, AND THEIR TIME.

So right now, all I can say is- let’s just please stop complaining, because it won’t fix anything.. let’s just be happy that we are actually getting something from them. Please. You are allowed to be upset, but half of the things people are upset about- are completely out of the band’s control.. so don’t go blaming them- when genuinely, don’t they have to do jackshit.

And you guys are 100% allowed to be upset, sad, frustrated, angry- FEEL WHATEVER U WANT TO FEEL.. but literally my chemical romance owes nobody ANYTHING.. they are choosing to do this tour for the fans, when literally they don’t have too. So let’s just be grateful for what we are getting.

(Btw I am not saying that people are ‘too broke’ or hating, or anything like that- I’m just saying, instead of complaining because it literally won’t do anything- I’m just being honest here, we should be happy that MCR is at least still around touring, giving updates, things like that etc- when they literally don’t have too.)

[phagodyke]

only took half my meds today bc I slept in rly late this morning and didn't want to take the full dose in case it keeps me awake tn but good grief I'm feeling them wear off.. my heaud hurts

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her

[theywantedplayer]

can you please write something about trevor with how recently he’s been like picking fights? also i love your writing sm!!!🫶❤️

AN-There were two people that wanted ones that were similar to this topic I'm going to write all of them but a different scenario bc i LOVE ANGST

You and Trevor have been arguing back and forth for a little while now in the middle of your living room.

“Trevor you can't keep picking fights it's not okay”you told him he was acting like a child right now not able to own up to what he was doing “ Trevor you could get hurt! seriously hurt!”

“y/n I'm fine I'm not going to get hurt” he yelled with one hand on his hip and the other Moving anytime he talked.  His nostrils are flaring as he took deep breaths Trevor was very frustrated his hair was a mess from running his hand through it which was a habit when he got over emotional.

“ Trevor”You Sighed you wanted this to end “You get into a fight almost every single game why can't you just let it go”

“Let it go? LET IT GO!” He yelled “you don't hear what they say on the ice y/n,  trust me if you heard them you'd be acting the same way I would be” He argued again

 it was like arguing with a wall, you were so frustrated your eyes started to tear up. A frustrated grown left you as you ran your hand down your face

“Trevor please” You pleased “I cant keep doing this” you turned and walked back to the bedroom “I'm going to bed” you were too Exhausted to continue this argument you just wanted to go to  get ready for bed you were almost through the doorway until Trevor's voice stopped you.

“They talk about you ok” Trevor Admitted 

You paused in the doorway to look at trevor, He looked so Distraught and Worn down 

“They chirp me by saying things about you ok…there so how do you expect me not to say anything”

You took a couple steps towards him now back to where you were standing before.

“What do they say about me?” You asked but Trevor never answered “Trevor what do they say?” you asked again

“You don't wanna know” Trevor told Sighing as he flopped on the coach 

“Trevor if it makes you wanna fight I think id want to know” You told a little more ferm this time 

There was a long pause before trevor answered 

“Trevor what do they sa-” “A no good puck bunny slut”

“What?” you whispered, you're not gonna lie it stung to hear that someone thinks that off you.

Some tears started to fill your eyes at the thought of it

A groan left Trevor lips when he saw the tears in your eyes “This is why I didn't want to tell you I knew you were gonna get upset and I hate seeing you upset” He Admitted reaching out his hands telling you to come over. You stood in front of him looking down at him threw tears, Trevor grabbed the Back of your thighs pulling you into his lap.

“Baby come on dont cy, please im sorry” He wiped a few tears that fell from your eyes onto your cheeks 

“No its ok” you told Placing your hands on his chest “I just- stop getting into fights trevor” you pleaded “please I mean it”

Trevor groaned as he buried his head into your chest making you laugh a little 

“Mhnm” was all you could hear from your chest 

“Come again?” 

“Ok” He agreed “I’ll stop fighting” 

You smiled softly, both your hands came up to play with his hair. He leaned his head up to look at you “thank you trevor” you smiled leaning down to place a small kiss on his lips.

You laid with trevor on the coach for a while until he fell asleep with his face in your chest  

[bonesandthebees]

Okay fuck it. I think scrolling for hours today is enough DJFKGKFK I'll just log back out. I wanna focus my energy on more positive things

Im so gonna log back in the minute my friend sends me another tweet but HDKGKGKD no. I will do my best. He's not worth our time man.

Okay one more tiny rant about him and then I promise I'll stop I just OOOHHMYGODHFJGKG HE JUST. I had so much hope. That. He would reply and it wouldn't fix things, I wouldn't go back to watching him or anything but at the very least I could get closure that like? Maybe his closer friends would be able to heal and move on? Idk if that's parasocial or whatever but he was such a big role model for me the past few years I really had hope that at least some parts of it were real, you know? And instead we just find out that he not only did these shitty things but didn't fucking learn and did it to other people too and??? It's really really upsetting that he created this safe space, this community of people who were all so lovely while just being. Fake. The whole time. And he doesn't even have the gull to properly apologise and I just??#?# idk what to do with my emotions LMFAO I'd finally started to feel better and like move on but now today I'm just angry again grgrgfhfjdkdk and I totally get that like him being a complete dickhead is easier in a lot of ways bc there's no. Doubting it. Or anything. Like there's no redeeming him. And we can get closure from that. But fuckkk it hurts so badly and the tl is a mess of ppl being like "well this person would never do me wrong" and then ppl being like "fuck every YouTuber ever actually. We can't ever be sure we know them" and LIKE!$?_?$?

Dude I am so conflicted on so many levels rn I feel like my entire world has just been yeeted into the sun LMFAODKFKFKFK

Anyways. Anyways. Thank you bee. Ur tumblr is the only account w a brain rn fr lmfaodjfkfkfks

I get it, I'm fucking furious at him. he had a chance to at least own up to what he did. I wouldn't have gone back to consuming his content, but I could be somewhat at peace knowing he was taking steps towards being better.

I don't want to think it was all a lie, because abusers aren't all completely evil people. the thing is, wilbur is human. a very shitty human, but human nonetheless. and we can't know for sure how healthy or unhealthy every relationship in his life has ever been and I think overanalyzing that or trying to figure out what was fake and what was real isn't really our business or worth our time. wilbur is a guy who has hurt a lot of people, but also refuses to recognize the hurt he's caused. that's it.

I do hate the dichotomy I'm seeing between people trying to prop up their own favorite white boys on a pedestal because apparently people never learn, but also going out and saying every content creator is inherently evil and we shouldn't trust any of them. these people are human. they're all going to fuck up at some point, some worse than others. and sometimes they'll fuck up in a way that they can move past and we can forgive them for, and other times they'll fuck up in a way that shows they shouldn't have the platform they have. they're not all terrible, and they're not all perfect. that's what we should be keeping in mind for the future.

[autisticalastor]

LATE wip wednesday CRIES— once again working on another radioapple fic bc i simply love writing multiple things at once instead of finishing one first lol

tagged by @the-flaming-nightmare tyyy <3

Lucifer watches patiently as he waits for Alastor to wake up. He's already been up himself for about an hour now, and he'd be lying if he said the only reason he was even able to get any sleep at all last night wasn't because Alastor was there, curling up into Lucifer's wings and playing jazz through the radio, occasionally even indulging him in a bit of pillow talk. Something about falling into what's become their usual rhythm for ending the day actually had helped him wind down, despite what he knew was coming in the morning.

As he waits for Alastor to wake up, Lucifer finds his mind whirling through a million possibilities for how this conversation could go. What if he gets upset? What if he shuts off completely? What if I've been misreading every sign I think I've been seeing? What if he goes back to hating me?

The only thing that manages to pull him from his thoughts is Alastor finally waking. The steady ebb and flow of radio static slowly quieting completely, the little ear twitch that shows he's alert if nothing else does, one glowing red eye just barely cracking open to see if he can get away with pretending to be asleep for a while. He's adorable.

Lucifer smiles softly. "Good morning."

Alastor hides his face in Lucifer's feathers, grumbling a bit. "What time is it?"

"You don't have to be up yet if you don't want to."

"Good."

"Uh, if you are gonna be awake, though, there's... something I wanted to talk to you about."

One of Alastor's ears flicks, but he doesn't say anything back. Lucifer rests a hand next to one of Alastor's. It's close enough, he's sure they'd be touching if one of them so much as breathed too sharply, but still not actually touching. Yet.

Lucifer generally tries his best to let Alastor take the lead on things. He doesn't ever want to push too far and screw everything up, but sometimes all the waiting feels more like hell than, well, actually being in Hell. If things were fully in Alastor's hands, Lucifer's pretty sure they wouldn't even have made it this far. As is, they still hadn't progressed to dropping the "hands off" rule, but they'd definitely made progress, seeing as Alastor has recently stopped pulling away when Lucifer does try to get a little more in his space.

Even now, Alastor is looking at Lucifer curiously, ears cocked like a somewhat perplexed animal. But he hasn't pulled his hand away. Progress.

"What is it? You look like you're going to ask me something I won't want to answer."

"Um, well—" Lucifer's face flushes golden and he looks away, suddenly feeling too much like he put himself on the spot. Somehow, avoiding eye contact still doesn't stop him stumbling over his words. "I, uh— It's just that— I think— Well, I think we've gotten fairly, um, close over the past few months and, uh, I just— I wanted to see if maybe you'd um—" his voice lowers, as if saying it more quietly will somehow make this less daunting— "wanna go out with me sometime?"

Lucifer chances a quick glance back at Alastor's face and, ironically enough, he looks like a deer in headlights.

ok im not tagging anyone this time bc i was late but NEXT TIME ILL BE ON TIME TRUST