#saying this as a black girl y'all
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Mfs will put down a million fucking rules on how you gotta portray black characters and then wonder why nobody wants to write/create black characters anymore.
How to write fic for Black characters: a guide for non-Black fans
Don’t characterize a Black character as sassy or thuggish, especially when the character in question is can be described in literally ten thousand other ways..
Don’t describe Black characters as chocolate, coffee, or any sort of food item.
Don’t highlight the race of Black characters (ie, “the dark man” or “the brown woman”) if you don’t highlight the race of white characters.
Think very carefully about that antebellum slavery or Jim Crow AU fic as a backdrop for your romance.
If you’re not fluent with AAVE, don’t use it to try to look cool or edgy. You look corny as hell.
Don’t use Black characters as a prop for the non-Black characters you’re actually interested in.
Keep “unpopular opinions” about racism, Black Lives Matter, and other issues pertinent to Black folks out the mouths of Black characters. We know what the fuck you’re doing with that and need to stop.
Don’t assume a Black character likes or hates a certain food, music, or piece of pop culture.
You can make a Black character’s race pertinent without doing it like this.
Be extremely careful about insinuating that one or more of a Black character’s physical features are dirty, unclean, or ugly.
Feel free to add more.
#saying this as a black girl y'all#for every rule that i can understand TO AN EXTENT#there are dozens more that are arbitrary or just plain stupid#commentary on representation#op get a grip challenge#CHRIST#reblog
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If anyone has a problem with saying "rest in power" to the white man that self-immolated himself and yelled "Free Palestine" till he burned to death then I want you to block me right the fuck now. You are so morally bankrupt and brainwashed by western neoliberal identity politics that you aren't worth spitting on. There's nobody resting in more power than that kid.
#first y'all harrass that poor dead trans girl's family and friends into apologizing#for chanting Say Her Name at her being misgendered in her death#when Black activists in the UK themselves tried to tell y'all to shut up#and now this#you cannot appropriate a social justice slogan between liberationists#if you honestly can't see a difference between Aaron Bushnell and that bitch RBG#then you might as well give your brain away to someone who'll use it#identity does not confer authority. nor does it confer conscience and good sense#sancitifying the identity of the victims over building solidarity among those sharing a common oppressor is how we build own cages#fuck westerners man. there's something deeply twisted in y'all#free palestine#aaron bushnell#racism#decolonization#solidarity#neoliberalism#identity politics#knee of huss
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Me, watching people villainize and hate show!Louis and Claudia for in ways that they didn't in regards to book and movie!Louis and Claudia;
#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv louis#like making louis black (and claudia) black added more nuances to their characters#from their relationships with people (especially lestat) to their outlooks on life itself#I've seen people read louis down to filth for things that they hardly do for his other media counterparts or other yte characters#ive seen more grace extended to movie claudia then show claudia (riddled with misogynior bc some of yall can't empathize with a black girl)#we seen show!lestat be violently abusive but yet he gets more sympathy than those he abused? make it make sense (it won't)#like louis and claudia are not good people they're morally grey and very complex and that's fine#but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how the fandom treats that/them very differently than when they were their yte adaptations#also like....wasn't movie!louis along with lestat a slave owner &/or fed on slaves? this the man y'all saying was better?#anti blackness is a wild thing#fandom racism#racism in fandom#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#key note: it's been a minute since ive seen iwtv movie & i haven't seen s2 yet until all episodes are out
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I just...
#hoes be wanting saphic content and turning wolfstar femme#when the actual women are RIGHT THERE#dorlene#dorcas x marlene#dorcas meadowes#marlene mckinnon#mary macdonald#lily evans#pandora lovegood#pansy parkinson#like there are OPTIONS#marylily#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#like fine whatever but im just saying and i know y'all don't want to hear it tho#dgmw i love all the genderqueer and variations but like#give the girls the love they deserve too
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Seeing white women all over my twitter timeline yesterday crying about supposed dark scenarios to come while Black, Indigenous, & other marginalized people have been living said scenarios for a lifetime is truly something!
#like the person you keep saying is going to save democracy has been key in upholding various policies we have been fighting to dismantle#the shit is at y'all's door and *now* you're scared#*it's gonna be the Handmaid's Tale for this country* :#meanwhile what happened in the handmaid's tale is based off things that's been done to Black & Indigenous women & girls since the beginning#us politics#white feminism is a scourge#got me posting politics on my tumblr instead of on twitter 😭#us elections#us election 2024#November 5th 2024
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yoooooo do you know what happened to callm3senpaii ?!?!?!???? i was a huge fan of their banger works and when i try to find them now their account is deactivated I am devastated 😭
chiiileee 😭 long story short they got mad they traded away gojo on mudae, blocked everyone and deleted their blog.
i wish i was lyin'.
#ೃ༝💌⁀➷ 𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉мαιℓ#ೃ💌⁀➷𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉αησηѕ#lmfao usually i wouldnt spill tea on the TL like this but its been like 9 months and idgaf any more im tired of being fake about it#im not sparring you hoes when y'all spaz over dumb shit jhfskdhfkdsjf#i literally spoke to this girl for 3 days on discord telling her she didnt have to do it and it was just a game and no one cared that hard#she acted weird for a week being passive aggressive and the next thing u know we blocked and her blog deleted without a word#and apparently we (black) microagressed her (white) when we never said anything bad about her ever#like that was my bestie on this app for MONTHS and we spoke every damn day she was the person i was closest to on the server even!?#we made the server together?! and invited ppl#see this is also why i hated gojo for so long and didnt write him until this summer#cause some of y'all hoes aint right in the head over this man and i was traumatized im ngl#like i didnt even have toji atp and didn't act like this and y'all know thats my nigga daddy who i would spill blood for 😭😭😭#mudae shows u who ppl really are istg jhdfkjshfjksd#the most ironic thing is i DM'd her on the side saying i had a fun game but was nervous to add it cause i didnt want ppl to fight#and she said “omg its just pixels who would do that?” HOE U APPARENTLY!!!! KFHSDLKFJHDKJ#someone say im lyin cause i have receipts kfjhdkjfhdkhjs#mudae war stories jkdhajhda#tw discourse
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Bitches will literally tell you a story that they were the villain of.
#rwde#''hey lets vent a little by listing all the ships we dont like for whatever reason'' someone get them help. they really think that's normal#y'all be talking about toxicity and then not even knowing what it looks like.#like iunno what you think toxic shipping behavior is SUPPOSED to look like but it looks like exactly this. that's not cute and normal.#like if just an ordinary group of friends did this? maybe. still sus.#but since you all self-indentified as fans of the same ship it just becomes a united front of haters circle-jerking themselves stupid.#not to mention the actual way this post reads like. girl? that's what you thought would make yourself look rational and other people petty?#like really? your go-to exaggerated example of something nasty or uncouth that someone would rabidly defend shipping is...that?#like obvious question 1) what exactly is wrong with gangbangs lol. sorry that you hate fun.#and obvious question 2) uhhh why when crafting a nominal objectioner did you specify 'black' like.......explain it.#tell me how that was supposed to come off because i don't know why you'd say that and not think 'this sounds really racist' unless.....#the whole wide world full of inc/st r/pe abu/se apologia on top of pe/do shit and the villain in your post is.....#someone shipping a pairing that contains a black man. okay.
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"my eyes are up here..."
#f1nn5ter#f1nn tweets#official f1nn pics#f1nn thighs#f1nn bodysuit#f1nn black#f1nn thigh highs#listen do I have to do everything around here??? posting all the new images etc?#bc his pics are about to give me a heart attack so y'all need to step up and be ready to fill in once his of comes out...#listen I couldn't even look at this photo all at once I had to scroll down bit by bit and I actually had to stop and pace#around my room like halfway down; you know we've never seen side cheek like this before????????#also I'm about to say something and yes it will probably become a recurring tag#slutty lil waist#im ace yall and this is still making me wanna have giant hands and be super strong just so I can grab him around that perfect dip#also also he really is just like a girl bc HIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING MESS GIRL CLEAN YOUR COUNTERTOPS BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR THIRSTPICS#and yet it still just looks aesthetic or like it's intentionally relatable#also I really and that braided blanket??? I think we'll keep seeing a lot of it; might even start a new meme like that couch???#llmmao I hope so...
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can I please stop having weird dreams? thanks
#ex highschool 'friend'/classmate making fun of me not graduating university yet and me reacting with violence#participated in big brother with some dude that supposedly was my boyfriend and got backstabbed by him then allied with another dude +#who looked like a certain actor and flirted until we got eliminated only for him to kiss another woman while we were saying our goodbyes +#and then tell me to call him and wink at me but i didn’t even have his number??#meeting some of the mutuals in switzerland but y'all's faces were your profile pictures and you had random bodies assigned#going to a very hidden coffee shop where i hit it off with a cute girl while we were buying tea leaves then realized we had already met +#before covid and we paid for our tea with pages from our sketchbooks and we realized we had a lil group of friends with another girl +#then i went to an art class in a building and had to leave early because it was 12pm and i called my ma through a ring projection device +#went to the same building the next day and joined a paranormal haunt investigation (it was alright) and the other girl was there too +#and i went to the building the next day because i forgot a pair of sheer black thighs and she was just leaving so we went back inside and +#got assigned a room that was haunted haunted so i protected her from the ghost that was yanking her hair and got offered a chance at being +#possesed by a ghost which i obviously took and it sent me flying through the air :) the room got recorded for psychological evaluation tho
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I'm all for people not owing you an explanation when they block you, but if you was a friend / close mutual to someone and you just up and block them without any type of explanation then... You're a piece of shit.
#maya thoughts#my post#my opinion#not aimed at anyone in particular#fandoms#yugioh gx#pinterest girl#coquette girl#black girlblogger#girlblogger#blocking me and i have no idea what i even did is crazy asf especially when we used to talk a lot.#i struggle with abandonment issues because of my father and that shit gets triggering#like there is NOTHING i could say/do that y'all can't talk to me about that's soooo fucked.
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i recently got some skincare goodies from sephora, target, and ulta and i can’t wait to give them a proper review in two weeks
#tp#topicals faded serum#laneige cream toner#which doubles as a moisturizer#reupped on the naturium salicylic acid body wash and got the oil to gel one that actually might get me to stop using body oil like wow#also got the naturium bio lipid body lotion#it's very thick i can say that#the black girl sunscreen for kids bc it's oily skin friendly#the first aid beauty kp body scrub#i wanna get that snail mucin essence from ulta but it's always sold out at my nearest ulta like y'all don't need it more than me!!#i have oily acne prone skin and minimizing my pores is one of my priorities#thank you for coming to my ted talk#edit: also got the good molecules wake up eye gel#atp i'mma have to be a girly with an am and pm routine and i'm not mad tbh
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Sometimes I have to bite my tongue so I don't show everyone what an asshole I am about cosplay. But. I just want to say like.... 90% of the fun of cosplay for me is trying to match an actual outfit as much as possible. Like. Making most of it myself, and having things I just purchase outright look as close as possible to what a character is wearing. And then of course, you know, spending hundreds of dollars and hours of labor on putting something together only to have someone who slopped some shit out of their closet is. A little frustrating. Just vaguely matching a character's aesthetic isn't cosplay to me.
#i mean my costumes aren't perfect but when people put no effort in it's like.... ok#yeah sorry i am absolutely a complete asshole about this#i mean go out and have fun etc but#this is about a specific character but i see it in every fandom#oh my god remember when girls were slapping long blonde wigs and khaki colored skirts on and calling it femme az*raphale?#like not only are you being lazy but you're also saying no homo lmao#um anyway now y'all know#I'm debating what to do on the costume I'm making#like the shirt looks like it'll be hard to make myself#but I'll have to dye a shirt if i buy it and the cut won't be exactly right#and dyeing fabric is not... super convenient at my apartment lol#anyway just cause this character is goth or whatever doesn't mean just throwing on black clothes is a cosplay that's all I'm saying#also if you're going to wear period skirts GET THE PROPER UNDEROOS#petticoats people#ok I'm done being salty
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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.
#luly talks#my dreams#I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird#bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred#i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia#it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in#pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap#i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts#it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and#forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best#uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like#in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way#very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING#you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it#to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman#(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That#this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and#shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought#looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie#something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever#uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect#high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed#a little.before napping#also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck#me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭
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if it doesn't sound fetishistic to say you're attracted to people with long hair or freckles or wide hips or dark brown eyes that look almost black, then it shouldn't sound fetishistic to say you're attracted to fat people. If it's not inherently a fetish to say you like people with sculpted backs or toned arms or six packs or small breasts or a coke bottle figure, then why would it be fetishistic to like a soft face with a double chin, or a round stomach, or big legs rippling with cellulite or stretch marks on rolls. you can find a fat person attractive. you can love the way their cheeks press up to meet the corners of their eyes, or the way their arms look, or the way their love handles spill out of their clothes. you can just. like fat people. you can say you like fat people. do you ever think how strange it is? how someone may think you're some sort of "perverse" weirdo for just...liking a body? how strange it is to put these precursory disclaimers of "not to be weird, but", "I don't mean it in that way, but", "I'm not a chubby chaser, but", or "I know it's kind of problematic, but..." could you imagine if it was any other body?
"not to sound like a muscle gain fetishist, but I love women with athletic bodies. It might sound weird, but I love short kings. I don't mean it in a weird way, but I love girls with hip dips."
It would seem strange. unnecessary. one may even assume there is some sort of guilt or fear you're hiding because it's normal to have things you like. it's normal to find certain things cute, hot, sexy.
you can sexually desire fat people and enjoy that they are fat. you can do that.
also, if you genuinely have a fetish (or deep sexual attraction if u for whatever reason are uncomfortable with the word fetish) for something that is found on larger bodies (bellies, fupas, thighs, underarms with fat/breast tissue in them, sagging breasts, big arms with skin that wobbles, cankles), or for a bigger body in and of itself (because I know some of y'all still want to sever yourselves from this), there is nothing wrong with that. people have fetishes for hands and teeth and earlobes and kneecaps and butts and shoulders and calves. what makes their thing any more acceptable than yours? there is nothing wrong with being aroused by bigger bodies.
please do not add tags and reblog this with "except when such and such is involved". I am not bringing those situations up for a reason. do not attempt to pivot this post into a thinkpiece on the objectification and/or abuse of fat bodies, ESPECIALLY if you yourself are not fat.
this is coming from the perspective of a Black person. Namely, a Black Nigerian-American person. Where I come from, there is a cultural, pre-colonial practice of gaining weight (and yes, particularly getting fat) to accentuate beauty. my body was handed down to me lovingly by my ancestors. i love my fat.
and if you love it too, that's okay. ♡
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i hate the discussion of the 4B movement because like. yeah sure don't sleep with men who voted for trump absolutely. don't sleep with women who voted for trump! or anyone! i don't think the concept of a sex strike is inherently bad. there are women who are already in relationships with shitty men and if a sex strike is empowering to them they should absolutely engage in it.
but "half of men voted for trump, so don't date men" is like. what. were you planning on dating trump supporters if Harris won? do you not have any personal relationships with men you don't hate? like yes it the gender difference between parties is real but this has like always been true. not to mention how it ignores factors of race and queerness. a higher % of Black men voted for Harris than white women did. are y'all gonna stop dating white women? do you always fuck people based around who they are statistically likely to have supported instead of by just asking them?
a sex strike, like any strike, works when it is TARGETED and PURPOSEFUL with a specific end. like not that you, personally, need any justification to not fuck men. but when talking in terms of a movement... what is being accomplished here other than female separatism? and then people saying "that includes trans men!" like girl 86% of LGBT people who voted, voted for Harris. trans men are directly impacted by abortion rights be taken, AND loss of gender affirming care. at that point when you are genuinely making that argument you have no motivation other than taking out all your anger on The Idea Of Men instead of actual productive feminism.
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“ baby steps ” || tokyo rev.
continuation of this post.
pairing: bonten x fem!reader [ mikey, ran, sanzu ]
warnings: mature content ahead. MDI. mature language, crude humor, ANGST w/ comfort (mostly in mikey's), deadbeat!bonten (unintentionally), not proof-read so there may be A LOT of errors :// mikey's is LONG, ran + sanzu's are silly goofy, mikey + sanzu's are a lil unhinged lol and i think that’s it :))
notes: can i just say thank y'all so much for showing "accidents happen" the love that i didn't think it would get, it was made on a whim so i'm so so so happy y'all enjoyed! i tagged as many as i could (or that tumblr would allow) sorry if i missed some of you :( thank you for your patience and let me know how you feel about this continuation format :) !! notes ii: also also, pt. 2 for "accidents happen" coming soon! notes iii: MY COMPUTER CRASHED AND I THOUGHT I LOST EVERYTHING BUT IT'S OKAY IT'S OKAY :'))))
tagged: @fantasycantasy , @illegalspacecow , @captaincyberqueen , @cherryblossiren , @niragiswhore , @awkwardaardvarkforever , @valentsoup , @lovely212 , @miffysoo , @yandere-kouhai , @i-am-just-a-girl-ur-honor , @wisteriarose214 , @kindadolly , @yuwaimo , @sweetbella1221 , @simpingfor-wakasa , @sirachano0dles , @yutahg , @slowlikehonee , @blurpleuni-squid , @haruchiyoreen , @istanstraykidss , @loyard176 , @msluccapotato , @luv444lay , @backgroundcharactera , @jegelskeranime
Ever since you picked up your daughter, there’s been a hovering presence that wouldn’t go away no matter where you went. From the park, to the grocery store, all the way home it clung to you like a bad itch. Despite looking over your shoulder and being met without any sort of threat, that didn’t stop the uneasy feeling. And it only intensified when you received a knock on your front door.
You made a confused hum, checking the time on the microwave to confirm that it was indeed past the reasonable hour for potential visitors. Not to mention, you weren’t expecting anyone.
The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, instincts telling you that something wasn’t right, that your best option was to pretend you weren’t home. However, the person on the other side knew otherwise as they knocked on the door again, this time with more fervor. You inhaled sharply, taking hesitant steps towards the door until you were mere feet away from it. Eventually, you worked up the courage to look through the peephole, your brows furrowing in distress when all you could see was black—They were covering it. All the more reason not to open the door…
What if it’s a robber? Ridiculous, they don’t knock.
What if it’s just the neighbor? Why cover the peephole?
More and more did your mind swirl with endless possibilities, each one becoming less and less believable. Taking a long, deep breath, you doubled-checked the door-chain was on before slowly cracking it open. And as you attempted to peek through the sliver, nothing could’ve prepared you for the arm that forced its way through, startling you as you yelped, stumbling back as it made a grab at you.
Before you had the thought of shoving the door closed on the offender’s arm they grabbed the little chain, then yanked it clean out of the wall. To your terror, a dark hooded figure entered your home, head hung low, concealing their identity.
You began to hyperventilate, backing up to keep distance as they staggered further into your home before kicking the door closed behind them, effectively blocking you from the exit. Surely, someone heard your scream and would check in, or call the police. But, how long did you have before the intruder decided to make a move? Not to mention, your sleeping child just down the hall…
With that last thought in mind, you immediately steeled your nerves.
Even if you had to use your bare hands, you were going to do whatever it took to keep your baby out of harms way.
You reached for the closest weapon without taking your eyes off the figure, hands clasping onto a discarded umbrella that was leaned up against a closet door. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. Taking a defensive stance, you prepared for what you assumed to be the inevitable.
“I-I don’t know who you are, or what you want…b-but if you don’t leave…my..my boyfriend will be home any minute! H-He knows how to fight, and he’ll fuck you up if you try anything!”
Your means of intimation fall on deaf ears. It were as if you hadn’t spoken at all. They just…stood there. Watching you from the darkness. That feeling, that hovering presence you’d been weary about all evening…there was no doubt in your mind it was because of this individual. Suddenly, they gave a watery chuckle, hand coming up to rub the lower half of their face as the chilling noise dissipated into soft snickers.
You sweatdropped. “I mean it! He’ll be here real soon, so you better get out of here before-”
“[_____]…” the figure finally rasped, voice heavy with an emotion you couldn’t decipher in the moment. You froze, eyes widening.
“…How the hell do you know my name?”
Without much urgency, they stepped forward into the light. Beneath the warm glow, it took you mere seconds to recognize the person standing before you. You gasped, trembling hands dropping the umbrella, it landing with a harsh clatter. Soft, mortified hitches in your breath echoed through the small space, memories flashing before your eyes as you covered your gaping mouth.
“M.. Ma..” you whimpered, throat tightening. A shell of a man, who gazed upon you with stormy eyes flooded with tears at the mere sight of you.
He gave another strained laugh, muttering to himself as he soaked you all in. “Needed to know.. Needed to know it was really you…”
Mikey eyed you up, intensely, eerily silent as he did so. Then, he took in the surroundings, the warmth, the interior, the smell of dinner—It truly felt like a home. A bitter pill to swallow once he reminded himself that you built it without him.
His sharp gaze returned to your stunned expression. He sneered.
“Must’ve been easy for you. To forget me and move on, just like that. Like I was nothing.”
You blinked, taken aback. All you could do was remain speechless, cemented to the ground with thoughts and questions racing in your head. Now matter how many times you opened your mouth, no sound would come out aside from choked whimpers.
“Do you know…how long I’d been searching for you? Been mourning for you?” He hissed through clenched teeth. “When you left, I thought… I thought someone had taken you. That I lost you all because I was too stubborn to say I’m sorry…”
As he spoke, Mikey slowly closed the space between you. The more he came into the light, the more you could see how the years had treated him. His cheekbones were more pronounced, the dark circles under his eyes as well. His lips were dry, cracked, his fair skin now ghoulishly pale. If not for the black hoodie you would’ve mistaken him as such; ghost of your past.
Your shoulders shook, hands hovering over your face as you gaped in disbelief. He’d been looking for you?
That night, that stupid fight you could barely remember…he made it crystal clear that he wanted nothing to do with you. He pushed you away. Pushed so hard that you almost believed he really wouldn’t have cared if you dropped dead. You knew he didn’t mean it, knew it was just another dark impulse…but none of that mattered when all your pregnancy tests came back positive just hours prior.
That night, you made the decision for the sake of your daughter. And also, for his sake. At the time, you were certain he wasn’t ready to be a father. He was quick to rage, merciless, losing himself to the darkness you tried to protect him from. If you had stayed, you were certain Mikey would’ve never forgiven himself if he lost control in front of his own flesh and blood, if the child grew to resent him for something he struggled to control.
You thought you were doing him a favor…but it appears to have done the opposite.
“And this whole time…you’ve been here, alive. Playing fucking house with someone else.”
You stiffened. Someone else? Your visible confusion only irritated him further.
He scoffed. “Don’t play dumb. You said it yourself. Too bad he won’t be coming home anytime soon. I’ve already got Sanzu and the Haitanis looking around for the bastard. And when they find him, I’ll make him regret sticking his filthy dick inside you.”
Confusion morphed into realization. You did threaten him with said hypothetical boyfriend…But, that was before you knew it was him!
“Oh, Manjiro…” you whispered. He glared, scorned.
“Don’t you dare pity me. I mean, you got the family you always wanted, right? So who cares who it was with, right? Congratu-fucking-lations.”
You shook your head, exhaling deeply as you held your face in your hands. For years, he thought you dead. Then, when he received word of your appearance, he finds you with child. And not once did he consider that child to be his? It’s like…he couldn’t fathom the thought.
If only he had looked just a little bit closer, he would’ve seen that she had his eyes. How they resembled those pools of ink that used to shine with so much hope back in his youth, so playful and full of love…those same eyes that now gazed upon you with contempt.
It stung.
He thought so low, not only of himself, but of you as well.
Taking a deep breath to reel in your emotions, tears began to well up in your eyes. He assumed they were tears for your doomed lover, further breaking his heart as Mikey clenched his fists to the point of nearly drawing blood. Luckily, even though you struggled to find the right words, someone else happily found them for you.
“Papa..?”
Both of you instantly drew your attention on the toddler standing near the kitchen, one fist clutching her blanket while the other rubbed the sleep from her eye. You glanced at Mikey, and he was stiller than stone. His once dead-stare had morphed into what could only be described as incredulous. Surely, he heard her incorrectly…
With a sniffle, you crouched down to address her, offering a soft grin as you nodded earnestly. “That’s right, sweetheart. Papa’s finally come home.”
The little girl blinked sleepily, taking a second to reboot. But, as soon as the words registered, a bright smile stretched across her face as she excitedly rushed towards Mikey, throwing herself onto his legs and hugging them like a koala as she chirped, “Papa, home!”
Said man hobbled a bit at the force, arms windmilling as he caught himself to keep from falling backwards. He didn’t know what to do with himself, especially when those big, round pools of ink opened and stared right up into his soul. Mikey’s heart nearly stopped. With a hitch in his breath, the gangster did everything he could to hold his composure, looking between you and the child as you both gazed at him with so much warmth…it was suffocating.
Sensing he was overwhelmed, you reached down to scoop up the bubbly bundle, holding her close as you eyed Mikey, apprehensively.
He resembled a cornered animal—Muscles stiff, jaw tight, eyes wild. After a moment, Mikey began to slowly back away into the shadows of your home, conflicted, devastated. It wasn’t until his back hit the door did he eventually fall to his ass, of which caused your child to giggle at how silly he was being. However, all you could do was hold back tears, watching as the reality started to weigh down on a man who just discovered he was a father.
Nervous, you gently explained. “I didn’t leave you because of our spat, Jiro…and I never moved on. I just…thought that I’d be doing more harm than good sticking around when I found out I was pregnant…I didn’t want to add any more stress on your plate, so I…”
Mikey didn’t respond. He sat there, stare vast and unfocused. But, you knew he hung on to every word. So you continued. “I wanted to tell you. But…I wasn’t sure how. At the time, I believed you had stopped caring about me altogether. And to hear you’d been looking for me, I-I’m…I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you harbored all that guilt. I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”
Your daughter wiggled around in your hold, making small grunts in complaint. Her eyes were trained on his figure huddled in the dark, wanting to be acknowledged, wanting his attention. “Papa!”
Mikey flinched. He focused his gaze on the two you, haloed by the light emitting from the living room. You both were like salvation, reaching down to a broken sinner…How could she want anything to do with him? When he had missed so much already…
To keep from accidentally dropping her, you placed your daughter back on the ground, watching wearily as she wobbled all the way to Mikey, blanket in tow. You weren’t worried about him hurting her, far from it…if anything, he appeared to be the fragile one.
Eventually, she made it to her destination, standing before him with a curious, but eager expression as she rested a hand on his knee. Mikey watched her, took in all of her features, every last detail as he engraved it to memory. She was beautiful, just like her mother. One would think his genes didn’t stand a chance. But the eyes. That was all him. From his mother to his older brother to himself, there was no doubt in his mind that those were Sano eyes.
His lower lip quivered, reaching out hesitantly to caress her cheek. She didn’t cower away, merely babbled as she began patting his knee, allowing his thumb to rub over her chubby cheek. You clasped your hands over your mouth, growing even more emotional at the delicate moment. Mikey looked enamored already, eyes subtly sparkling from what you could see as they interacted.
“I-I told her stories, about you. And I made sure to show her photos, too. Old ones, but still you nonetheless. I wanted her to know who her father truly was. Despite everything else…”
Your daughter cooed, then placed her blanket in Mikey’s lap before climbing into it. Mikey didn’t dare move, rigid as she made herself comfortable. He looked up at you, looking for guidance, for reassurance. Your encouraging smile was enough for him to hesitantly place his hands on her small back for support, carefully adjusting so that she was stable. She laid her head on his chest and stuck her thumb in her mouth, sighing contentedly.
And, for the first time in years, he smiled.
When you hadn’t seen her familiar pigtails bobbing around, or heard any of her excited chatter with the receptionist up front, worry couldn’t even begin to describe what you felt the moment you realize…your daughter wasn’t here.
As soon as the meeting looked like it was wrapping up, you politely excused yourself from the room. Masking your worry wasn't too difficult, but there's no doubt a couple people might've noticed the spring in your step as you exited. One of them being Rindou Haitani. He watched you speed down the hall with mild interest, corner of his mouth ticking up ever so slightly as he thumbed around on his phone beneath the table. Having been updating his older brother during the meeting while he was on his smoke break, he was more than eager to inform him of the storm that was no doubt heading his way.
Little did the younger Haitani know, he was already dealing with one.
"And then, Haruka-kun tries to take Momo-kun's bento box because she had cuter animal shapes, but Momo-kun already said no, and so Haruka-kun pushes Momo-kun, and then tries to take it! But I pushed him and hit him with my fist, like this," she clenched up her tiny fist and held it up to Ran before striking down on his forearm with all her might. It didn't even pitch. "Like that."
The lavender-eyed man merely gazed upon her with mirth. "Did you now?"
"Mmhm! And teacher got so mad, and said that she would tell Ma about me fighting, but she's stupid because Ma didn't pick me up today, and I told Haruka-kun if he snitches, I'll beat 'em up!"
Ran lowly whistled. "Quite the little menace, ain'tcha?"
She pumped her fists. "Yeah!" Then, she paused, holding a finger to her chin in thought. "Wait...what's a menace?"
"Ah, something you inherited from your old man." He ruffled her hair, much to her displeasure. Though her innocent jab earlier regarding his age still hit a sore spot, he was starting to like the sound of it. She, on the other hand, wasn't convinced.
"I already told you; Ma was on her happy juice when she said that. She said not to believe anything she says when she's on happy juice. It makes her do silly things."
Ran chuckled. He knew that all too well. The little girl wouldn't be in this world if not for your inability to hold your liquor. But judging based on how you've raised her so far, clearly you made the right decision keeping him in the dark.
He'll admit, he wasn't the best in terms of commitment. Throughout his day to day, Ran just didn't have the energy. With being in Bonten, keeping an eye out for his younger brother, handling business, dealing with numbskulls and disposing of their bodies, there was never a time to even consider settling down. One-night stands and on and off flings were the easiest choice. At least, until he stumbled upon you.
You were the whole package and more. Classy, independent, witty, and a looker to top it all off. When Bonten started collaborating with the organization you worked in, he couldn't help but to be drawn to you—Like a moth to a flame. It started out as the occasional bantering, trying to one-up the other, catch them off guard. Ran was smooth with his words but could never quite beat your sharp tongue. Thus, things escalated to something more flirtatious. Harmless, but it didn't take long before the months of tension between the both of you began boiling over...and throwing alcohol into the mix, it was the first time Ran finally felt like he had the upper hand. Seeing how poorly you handled just a few glasses of wine, it endeared him. Seeing a piece of you that no one else had the privilege to witness. Your sloppy side, the clumsy, whiny, touchy side. After that long, passionate night beneath the sheets, the one time you and Ran allowed yourselves the space to be vulnerable with one another...you found yourself pregnant. And Ran found himself being nonethewiser.
He wonders, if he hadn't left the next morning and completely ghosted you...would you have kept him in the picture?
Suddenly, his phone dings. Reaching back to pull it from his back pocket, Ran half expected it to just be another update on the meeting or Rindou cursing at him to hurry his ass back inside. But, it wasn't that at all. And at the sound of your kitten heels rushing out of the building and halting at the top of the steps, Ran didn't even need to look up to know who was glowering down from them.
"Hey, Ma! Guess what, the purple man isn't such a meanie after all!"
Ran snorted, finally looking up from his phone to greet the woman who not only still had his heart, but evidently his first child. You, on the other hand, weren't so thrilled to see him.
"Rika. Wait inside. Ma's got some words for the purple man."
He smirked. "Wanna say 'em over a glass of wine?"
"You son of a-!"
"Bad word!" Your daughter covered her ears. You flushed, your composure nearly slipping just by being in his prescence. Ran, immediately seeing the opportunity, teasingly pouts at you whilst covering her tiny hands with his larger ones, shielding her.
"Honey, please, not in front of the child. Can't have her repeating those dirty words at school, can we?"
You fumed, speaking through clenched teeth. "Haitani, as soon as I get her in this building, away from you, I swear to God, I'm gonna wring your neck."
He hummed, amused. "Well. Guess she didn't get her violent side from me after all. Speaking of which, did you know at school today-"
"Hey! No snitching!"
“...What did you say?”
You were hoping you heard the teacher wrong. Surely it was just your exhaustion taking the wheel. But, when her kind smile didn’t falter, nor did her gushes for the supposed “adorable display”, you immediately grew suspicious.
While heading home from work, you went to pick up your children from daycare. And when you arrived, the teacher merely informed you that it was already taken care of by your very handsome and very devoted husband.
“I-I think you’re mistaken. My boyfriend and I aren’t married…”
The teacher, finally coming back down to earth, tilted her head in confusion. “Eh? You aren’t?”
“Did he…say we were?”
“Well, no. I just assumed since it was easy to tell who he was here for. Hikaru and Kaoru look so much like their daddy.”
You choked on your spit. Hikaru and Kaoru look so much like their daddy. Hikaru and Kaoru look so much like their daddy.
You did everything in your power to keep from strangling the poor woman. Sure, she didn’t do anything wrong per say…but she sure did make a grave error. And your struggle to restrain your intrusive thoughts must’ve shown on your face from the way she placed a concerned hand on your arm. “Are you alright, miss? You look like you’re about to faint.”
“M-Mhm, yep, great, just peachy.” You squeaked through clenched teeth, sweatdrop on your forehead. “Could you um…confirm something for me?”
“Uh.? Er, sure. I’ll try my best.”
With tense shoulders and a tight smile, you asked, “Their…father…did his mouth have two scars in the corners?”
The teacher blinked, confused. Shouldn’t you already know that answer yourself?, she was probably thinking. And she would be right; you did know. But her simple, hesitant nod was the final nail in the coffin that was your delusion—Haruchiyo Sanzu had found you. And to make matters worse, he had the children.
Your smile faltered, twitching ever so slightly. Covering it with a forced chuckle, you cried, “Oh, that’s..wonderful! He’s always been self conscious about them, and I’m j-just.. beaming with joy that he’s embracing them more. Have a nice evening, Ms. Yuki.”
The teacher didn’t get a chance to respond as you quickly turned on your heel and began speed walking home. You’d apologize for your abrupt exit another day…right now there were more important matters to worry about. For instance—How on earth did Sanzu find you? How did he know about the twins and where they were? Oh, God…did he know about Satoru?
Dialing him up a few times only for the calls to go straight to voicemail weren’t reassuring in the slightest, having you rush across oncoming traffic just so you could avoid any further delays for your fraying nerves. You could see your apartment complex up ahead, heart thumping in your throat at the familiar, black SUV parked a couple blocks down. Had it not been for the heavily tinted windows and no license plates, you probably would’ve overlooked it. He knew where you lived. Stomach in knots, muscles stiff, nerves shot. You didn’t know whether to feel relieved or devastated. Your kids were safe at home, but at what cost? You stood in front of the building, rooted to the ground. Despite mentally preparing for this exact scenario for years, it all went down the drain the second you went to that daycare and discovered your children were missing.
It wasn’t until your phone vibrated did you snap out of your thoughts, shakily pulling the device out of your back pocket to check the notification.
from : unknown 1:06 pm “ hi, mama.~ ”
Your stomach twisted. Attached to the message were two photos.
The first photo was of your kids eating McDonald's in the kitchen, happily cheesing and waving at the camera. You couldn't hold your choked gasp, hand coming up to hold your quivering lower lip—They were safe.
The second photo...was of Satoru. Tied to a chair, gagged, and beaten senseless. And standing behind him, holding him by his hair so that he could pose for the camera, grinning like a cheshire cat...
Another message pops up. Your grip tightened around your phone.
from : unknown 1:09 pm " daddy's home.~ "
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