#say it with me now: just because i dont like something doesn't mean there's something wrong with it
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kari-sims · 15 hours ago
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My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉
Thanks @theplottdump for the tag, mwah! <3
-> tagging @kissalopa @sharona-sims @limeysims @mosneakers @eurosimmer @waaneco @pixelshary @pudsim @polarmoon @butteredfrogs @simsfvr @whyeverr @buildbuymode @zorteh @philodendrontrait @kazroze @marcishaun @nervousgnome @charsimsalot @enchantsims (sorry if you've been tagged/done this already! and no pressure if you dont want/can't do it, just have fun ˙ᵕ˙ ) and anyone whose my dummy brain forgot, please feel free to do so if you want too ♡
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I don't have screenshots for every month unfortunately, (i took an almost two year break and came back to the game for real around april of this year) so this will be just 24 random screenshots i love (in no particular order). Not much happens in my game because i don't interfere that much, but i hope this isn't too boring heh
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The usual Realm of Magic shenanigans: distracting Simeon from his job, fangirling over L. Faba, and old man being old.
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Ellie's house renovation was my favorite thing to decorate over the months. I'm always adding things to it, and by things i mean frogs. All of the frogs.
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Her garden is also my favorite place to be. Sometimes i just like to watch the bunnies running around, the grass moving, the birds chirping... and then i remember the game is running. It's really nice though.
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Change doesn't happen very often in my game, but something cute sparked between these two after i decided to stop constantly ignoring and re-rolling her wants. I'm not gonna say much about it cause - and i know it's not that serious - i'm still processing it two months later lol, maybe one day...
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Life and Death was so much fun, Ravenwood is now my favorite world to visit! I had no plans of getting the pack anytime soon, so i still can't believe i got to play with it when it released (thanks little fairy ♡)
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Some of my favorite edits i've done this year. Apart from Ellie's shot (which was taken with no reshade on a day the game had some crazy good lighting), the others were done while i was trying to learn some stuff from one of my favorite editor's (strange-townie) speed edit videos. I hope i get more time this year to practice and learn more! (before & after album)
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Favorite pictures of Ellie's best friends: old goofy lvl. 1 wizard relaxing in his new home & the unbothered rebel sage.
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This year i also got to play with my favorite nerdy gamer boy. He was just a sim from a cas practice thing i did. I don't usually get attached to random sims i make, but for some reason he was just very special to me ( ꈍ ᴗ ꈍ ) ♡
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I wanted to end this by saying i'm very grateful for everything i have experienced this year, and the warm welcome i've received. I'm really happy some people like my silly saturated pictures :D i promise next year i'll annoyingly fangirl and obsess over other people's lovely creations even more, so thanks for making this place such an inspiring one to be ♡ Happy holidays!◝( ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ )◜₊ ⊹₊ ⊹
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sludgekludge · 3 days ago
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what are some of your most minor pet peeves with hellaverse?
this is a funny question. i like it
whining about silly things under the cut
the white on imps sometimes being scars and sometimes not throws me off because i can never tell what's meant to be subtle indications of a characters history (especially fun for bg designs imo) and whats like. a spot
i honestly think the main 3 in helluva have pretty good design synergy with each other and it makes me hate loona's design because she throws off every group shot
niffty being designed so similarly to the morningstars (stark white skin with red cheek spots) bugs me more than it should
it wasn't so bad in his first appearance iirc but ever since then asmodeus consistently gets drawn with a really tiny head and i can't not notice it
i struggle to really articulate why and this is probably dumb and snobbish of me but the form everyone gets where they get bigger and scarier being called 'full demon' just feels oddly juvenile to me. what does that even mean. full demon. are they like, half demon at their basic self? make up a cool word instead. it sounds like something i'd have written into my cool death reaper umbreon oc at age 9. i hate it. i dont even know why. it just sounds so dumb to me. like peak 'a child wrote this lore'. watch out guys im going full human (permanently injuring a muscle in my body because i stretched slightly funny while over the age of 25)
this feels mean to say but cherri's voice actor doesn't do a very good australian accent at all and it's incredibly distracting if you're even remotely familiar with how it should sound. similarly maybe it's just auditory processing issues on my end but i can't even tell what accent valentino is meant to have
his design is otherwise fine comparatively but i hate the eyes on pentious' tail. breaking up his shape and like. you slither on those. floor in your eye. at least 10 floor hairs in your eyes. i dont care if theyre just markings i hate them
remember when viv said vaggie's name wasn't vagina and then canonised her name as vagina (the only lesbian main character across both shows btw) and also instead of changing her name for real after she restarted her life from scratch she just changed the pronunciation instead of just the whole fucking name, so like clearly it bothered her just not enough to change it fully like she for some reason wanted to keep in part the name 'vagina' given to her by a misogynist man she hates-
i'm irrationally irritated that emily and sera's underwhelming. 'full angel' forms i guess turn up for a split second, it felt so weird and useless to reveal them now for nothing
in fact why is every angel we meet personally in heaven in s1 a normal humanoid even though there's a diverse variety of designs in the background. imo adam is the only one who has an excuse to just be some guy. furthermore where are st peters fucking ears. why were ears deliberately ommitted on his design and no one elses. he has no fucking ears viv
saint peter
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nalyra-dreaming · 2 days ago
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Hi, I have some loose thoughts, and I would like your opinion, I know that in the books everything is about Lestat (and that the series will be more about him and Louis) but I really hope that doesn't happen in the series because I always ending up hating the characters where everything is about and for them, and i want to keep liking Lestat! it's simply annoying, I would like the series to explore the history of the four characters, I think it would be much more interesting, I also think that people aren't really analyzing Armand and his relationship with Louis properly, people tend to think that Armand controls Louis 100% of the time and the writers and Jacob himself have said that they wanted Louis to have some agency, for example, when Armand suggested new art for the wall, he suggested colorful art and people insist on saying that Armand keeps him in an prison, controlling everything in the apartment, leaving everything dark, I don't know, when at least for me Louis is doing this, because he is unhappy and in a way, he wants Armand to be unhappy too, they are both not with who they want to be, and I think Louis must have really asked Armand to make him forget the first interview because he was no longer able to deal with the guilt about Claudia and Lestat and he didn't really want to try to commit suicide again, but Armand, in order to keep the lies going, had to keep controlling his mind, so he kept increasing the control until he reached a point where he didn't even wanted (obviously i dont know, just especulating) but he didn't know what to do, because I think Armand loved Louis in some way. I also don't see people talking about the fact that Armand thinks that Marius, who is older and more powerful than him, died at the hands of other vampires (who I think were younger than him, I don't remember) so why not they believe that Armand really thought that the coven could kill him, if they were focused, we know that he could have prevented it but I don't think he knew that...anyway, I think we have to listen to what Armand has to say, because until now we only know about lies and omissions that he told, we don't know what was really happening or what was going on in his head until this moment. Sorry, because it's a lot and english is not my first language!
Hey!
Not everything is about Lestat :), but he is the narrator of a lot of them, and is part of the story in most :) Given the books Rolin said he takes from (already) makes it clear that he focuses on the Loustat/Lestat centric books, which carries obviously repercussions for the show. But that just as a note :)
I do think, and I just said this in another ask again, too, that the show is built on the big four, namely Louis, Lestat, Armand and Daniel. These are the corner stones they chose, and the rest of the relationships and stories will revolve around them I think. But... Lestat will stay, and, well... he will be very prominent in the upcoming seasons, let's put it that way.
I... have an idea for when Louis could have asked for his memories to be erased, but I don't think he would have asked Armand. I mean, this is the guy who keeps the stones in his ankles as a reminder. I don't think he would willingly choose to lose the memories, no way. There might be ways to make that statement true, story-wise, but if it is, there is a LOT more to it.
Armand had to constantly readjust Louis, that is no speculation, that is something Assad has said :), and that is clearly visible in s2, too, especially on rewatch. Louis' behavior shifts, radically, from part to part, depending on what is... needed.
As per Armand and the "coven killing/controlling him"... nonny, that part has been proven a lie. It has been proven by the few pages we got of the trial script as well. Armand was never in any danger from them. He directed the trial. He was their master for centuries.
He killed Claudia and tried to kill Louis.
That said, you are correct, the "current" knowledge of the characters has to be taken into account. And Armand might not know yet that Marius is still alive (though I do think that him hanging art of Marius in the penthouse speaks volumes). I say might, because it depends. In the books he sees someone he thought dead at some point, and ... that must have led to a lot of speculation.
And yes, I would love to "listen" to Armand, as you put it. I would LOVE an adaptation of TVA or maybe a spin-off of him and Daniel in Night Island. I'd love that.
But Armand has been giving a very edited tale, that has already been stated, and he has changed the tale in Louis' head, has implanted and changed memories. Daniel latching onto the fact that Lestat could not have spoken in Louis' mind after turning was supposed to be the clue there.
Next season, Lestat will give his account - and whether this fandom likes it or not, but Lestat is canonically doing so for Louis, to make him understand, and he has no reason to lie and he does not soften much either. And that understanding of Louis being the driving motivation will have the "documentary" result in something quite different than what s1 & 2 were - and Louis will understand.
In the books, that is when they reunite - before other things happen. I... no matter the other stuff they put into s3, but I don't think that will be any different here, since they keep quite close to the books for the big emotional points.
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eah-confessions · 1 day ago
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i think people are too harsh on the apple and raven switched at birth theory. sure, people are not allowed to like it and i'm not against pointing out the flaws in it but i sort of think people are overly negative about it's flaws, and i hope that doesn't affect the creator. and i'm saying this as someone who doesn't agree with the theory and also heavily disagrees with it
first of all one of the takes ive seen is switched at birth would "destroy" the destiny themes of the show- to which i heavily disagree. i feel like if the writers added this revelation later on in the series if way too wonderland and dragon games didnt end the destiny arc it would point the flaws in the destiny system and change the relationship's the royals. both raven and apple's moms have one track mind and believe their destiny should be followed. it would be a massive revelation to the characters and affect their relationships. i dont think it would make all the "drama" useless considering how a lot of it stems from the culture of the fairytale world, and it would force the characters to really consider what the destiny system is. one of the biggest revelations it would be if the parents didnt know too somehow, and it was a mistake the doctors made and not intentional. (or even an ordinary citizen of bookend who was mad at the destiny system- just throwing ideas out) if the story suddenly went this way, i wouldnt like it but it doesnt feel impossible to be added to the ever after high story, given cerise and ramona's story being added late in the story or holly and poppy. i mean swapping two different babies compared to twins being born really close together is a huge reach- but still.
another thing i've seen is that because blond hair can be be recessive it disproves the theory. i understand the theory is mostly because of the hair colors of the characters not matching, but i dont really think this disprove it because it's really hard to dispute given how bare bones the theory is. many bad theories are intentionally or not intentionally difficult to disprove. i also thought, as far as i know never seeing both sets of parents even in an illustration for them is kind of suspicious to me. it would be interesting to see them focus on their family tree as well, but they didnt probably because that would kill the suspense of seeing these characters later on.
i do think this is a bad theory (its more of an idea than a theory), but an interesting story concept that could have even be considered for ever after high. i do think that its possible that this was an early idea for ever after high. consider the following: ever after high was in development for several years and wasnt even about fairytales at first, it was about witches. disney was even working on desendants as well. now part of me wonders if the reason that apple doesnt have black hair is because of disney and not wanting to make the characters too similar to disney's despite them having the well known versions of many characters. so they have to call back to the disney version (ex: adding yellow and gold in apple's design) without directly copying them. another thing that strikes me as interesting is that in one of the original versions of snow white she has "hair as black as ebony" yet in her future shown in the mirror we never see snow white in the future with the blonde turning into black hair. in fact its raven who undergoes more of a transformation. knowing how much ever after high uses the original source material of the original it's something to consider. another interesting thing to consider is the possibility if cerise was going to be more relevant this theme would make sense throughout the series, of inheriting a destiny that doesn't belong to you (i believe she was in the stop motion short) so with this i propose that it could have been considered at one point for the story, but didnt use it because it didnt work. another interesting idea is apple and raven not being switched, but being related somehow. like if the good king had a relationship with snow white but left her for evil queen and she had apple because of that. so apple and raven would be half sisters. again, not something i would want in canon but still interesting.
i know the original posters of these takes might disagree with me, but i feel like switched at birth- even though not a well carefully or thought out theory (literally just a "what if") can open up more discussions of the creative decisions on ever after high, and i feel like the community just going at this theory (as well as other communities going after theories that arent just "its not real") to me is sort of unproductive. ive seen too many takes on why it's stupid and i'm tired. i think the original creator, as far as i'm aware is a well read person who made one bad theory so when people say that it "lacks media literacy" i sort of get mad on their behalf, also hating that as a buzzword. so yeah, even though i think switched at birth is a "stupid" theory i think it's overcriticized in the fandom for being bad, when the concepts it has are really interesting outside of this theory. because the fact the ever after high designers made the child of snow white a blonde is very interesting from a design perspective because snow white is well known in many versions of her tale for having black hair. as well as the fact that ever after high was sort of mistreated by mattel and that affected the plot we were shown and how the fandom interacts with eah media. sorry if some people see this confession is just "people are too negative" but i do think people are blowing how bad this theory out of proportion. it's a bad theory with a lot of potential. i think this fandom in general has a lot of problems of overusing negative criticism and certain discussions becoming popular over others, like overfocusing on the selfishness of certain characters and whether or not apple (or raven) is a good or bad person objectively and arguing about it amongst each other instead of like... the larger actual story? i also think switched at birth would make a good AU and seeing what it would mean for their fairytales is so interesting. but not a good theory, no...
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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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spherekuriboh · 1 year ago
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the difference between the triumph in 'i found you!' and the shame in 'you've found me.' is proof enough!!!
#distext#i feel strongly enough abt this one to tag it#the silt verses#youve found me and the god i unwittingly fed-- it was never yours but it was mine and you stayed because you found me.#blah blah the narrative twists to incorporate the listener's hopes and desires for a happy ending blah blah#but the god is not capable of denying the rapture in the journey. it is in fact all it has to offer.#sebastian being unhappy *now* doesn't mean that the god is unfed. of course not. the journey is eternal.#but the lingering doubt would not have been centered upon his lifelong traveling companion. because that *spoils it!*#there is no journey in staying here. staying here is an ending. and the other narrative can't bloom with such a shadow hanging over it.#hope exists. of course it does. it must. but it isn't like. saccharine and revisionist.#not the decision to stay in the place of potential and never see and ending through.#dev calls him sebastian. whether it's an attention check (are you listening?) or a slipup back to formality it is a fuckup.#in much the same socially inept way that 'let's stay here' was such a desirable idea for your lover this morning you dont even consider NOW#elephant. elephant is what i meant.#anyway. meta fodder for the listener (i dont have the commentary but ive seen the phrase 'coin-flip') vs. watsonian social interactions.#........ frankly i dont think that sebastian gave enough of a fuck to pick a winner between hayward and carpenter either but that is just m#i think there's probably something smart to say about how moving forward this season involves nothing but uncertainty#where even following the cairn maiden to an assured ending leaves the pulsing question of when#but man im just upset. gay sex saved the day solved the mystery and now we're going back to get shotgun married to dodge the draft#if you dont have your own insurance plan your spouse's is fine.#sorry. what was i talking about?#right. there isn't a joy in this. there is no definite moment where the hurt- this trauma. the fog.- would pass and settle into comfort.#and among all of the promises and threats. it would only hurt for a moment.#nope! congrats. scarred for life you have to keep on living and difficult conversations you have to keep on having and continued awkwardnes#can't catch me suicide metaphor i'm gay as fuck. anyways#podcast tag#tsv spoilers
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hauntingblue · 7 months ago
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Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci
#can i say maybe i dont like where this is going bc i dont like the priest. like why not have dio do all this. i have to endure his boring#self while not having any motivation bc i still dont know why he wants to do all this bc that backstory doesnt justify anything#while dio is in the background and he has a motive to hate the joestars and create a world without them. idk#this is like light and near but unjustified#i would have prefered the priest resurrecting dio in some strange way than him doing all this i think#and i still dont like his powers ☝🏻 they dont make sense to me and the evolution doesnt either. how can you just flip stands.#also his rant about how he killed all his enemies... josuke and giorno are out there now lmao#retracting my statement they changed the opening but just this last episode#i do like the destiny stuff like the same thing happens in a new world bc of necessity and the whole plot has been about things happening#because it needs to happen but why does this reset need to happen??? why does pucci want it?? so everyone can be happy?? why??#literally nothing that happened to him has been the joestars fault. dio brainwashed him? ok SHOW IT#like the plot is okay but the priest doing all this makes no sense it could be anyone at this point#okay i get it now destiny is like gravity.... but his stands changing makes no sense still. the disc thing got out bc of the plant baby. ok#but the gravity just changed to something else entirely??? to time??#he kept repeating time and space but a space stand would be the hand. gravity is something else entirely#its not like velocity>acceleration or star platinum and the world velocity>time. that makes sense#gravity and time is like my stand makes anything into ice cream and then it makes things disappear#rant at this point but yeah#okay control. the priest wants to know exactly what is going to happen at all times to be prepared and evolve?? and why would dio want this?#weather report...... i mean it was meant to be#yeaaahhh emporio roast him#irene and anakiss ajdhaisjaisjakakakak#i might be crying but this doesnt change my pucci criticisms#the ending song..... incredible choice#i think i liked golden wind too much and i cant control myself and not compare#but pucci doesnt make sense to me here apart from being a priest and wanting to fulfill 'god's' purpose or whatever that means#so now there is a new world but with joestars but they dont have stands?? or just pucci doesn't exist (or dio)#so just the prison gang doesnt get them. but ermes didnt go to prison either. idk#talking tag#watching jojo
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kaeyapilled · 1 year ago
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So with the hangout.. do you think that settles the issue of mistranslation or not of Kaeya and Diluc being brothers?
is it even possible to settle it? i feel like there must be some insane cultural difference between me as a western person and chinese people when it comes to adoptive siblings because, i honestly don't see how the biological son of the guy you consider your adoptive father isn't, by extension, your adoptive brother; how would that relationship not be familial? even when you bring in the "sworn brothers" trope as a means of queercoding, which is a concept ive had explained to me more than once – like, okay? i agree that it's true you can't properly translate/localize that, but. how else did you want them to translate it? even if the word brother was never used once in the eng translation, how do you make it so that kaeya and diluc calling the same guy "father" doesn't imply some uncomfortable things if he and diluc are romantically involved..? but then, who knows, maybe i just don't have enough knowledge about how censorship works in china, how they do queercoding over there, how they deal with adopted relationships, whatever. it's fine. different cultural upbringings, no? it's funny when it's the western side of the fandom discussing this, though. because you'll have these extremely white people arguing with you about the intricacies of chinese BL media. as if either of us knows what the hell we're talking about. anyway, none of this matters in the end because most klc shippers just... like the incest. and the day we stop arguing about mistranslations and simply accept that people either 1) see this relationship in a different light due to their cultural background or 2) are a little bit of a freak online is the day i will finally know peace as a kaeya fan
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nthflower · 2 years ago
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Sometimes Christians acts like they are the only one that's allowed to be traumatised by their religion and who can hate and mock it. Like all other religions are pure innocent peaceful ways and opressed but Christianity is okay to mock because ughhh. Like only they are allowed to be traumatised and victim there.
But also when I say this then some extremely angry ex-muslims and islamaphobics comes and use this to spread hate about Muslim people which is also ughhh.
Like your average Muslim have zero differences than your average Christian why can't you treat them same.
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martyrbat · 2 years ago
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playing an ongoing game called ‘learn whats acceptable to say in someones tags or get blocked’. a lot of you are losing.
#i know i can be cringe or annoying but like. theres a difference between joking on something vs fucking insulting someone you dont know#is this person talking about something they enjoy that you dont? filter the tag and post content and go on with your day#if theyre too annoying then just unfollow for a bit and check back later even#is this person a fan of a character you hate?? put it on your own post instead of coming onto someones account to bitch in their tags#you are literally insulting a real life person over a fictional character. over a show. over a comic. what is wrong with you.#unless the thing they like is actively rooted in real life hate (racism sexism misogyny ableism transphobia etc) that will reflect#and cause real life harm then it literally doesn't fucking matter if you disagree with someone.#youre not making me want to read and consider your opinion about something i literally consume for fun and because haha autism s/i#by calling me an idiot or by saying how i (a disabled person) am ‘braindead’ because i have a different opinion or whatever.#youre just being mean because you feel like you have an excuse to pretend youre superior to someone#like idk how to break it to you but dick grayson isnt going to suck your dick despite you insulting a real person over him lmao.#anyways. im going to block you if you insult me. im going to block you if you see my post on something i like thats harmless and tell me#how much you personally hate it or disagree. i dont care. make your own post because now you cant make it on mine.#and my anon is temporarily off (sorry shy mutuals </3) because a lot of ppl dont have common decency on what's okay to say or demand lol
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abyssalpriest · 1 year ago
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My favourite "Lev being funny though I don't actually know if he's being funny on purpose" thing is him randomly telling me shit he's eaten. Like I'll tell him something while he's possessing my body like "ugh god don't eat that food it was left out, might have had bugs crawl on it" and he'll already be eating it saying something like "I've eaten bugs I don't care". I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I've eaten worse" when it comes to all sorts of shit like raw meat and sea creatures and intestines and bugs and plants and all sorts of animals and ROCKS (when he was around earlier he tried so hard to not say he likes lapis lazuli because of its texture lmfao and I could feel it)
Tho I have to give special mention bc it's still playing in my head to the funniest fucking time (paraphrased) -
Random YouTube video of this slimy huge millipede-esque creature wriggling: Would you eat this -
Lev: Yes.
Random video: - for a million dollars?
Lev: Yes. Give me my money
Me: You'd eat that??
Lev: Yes. And I want a million dollars. Give it to me
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strikersin · 6 months ago
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You know what never mind why am I trying to understand and help with other alter's neurosis.
What about me. What about my neurosis.
#SPIRITS ARE LOOKING AT ME DISAPPOINTEDLY NO MATTER WHAT I DO UNLESS I FOLLOW HYPER SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS#but what they say to do is usually incomplete and... now that my original tags deleted i dont know what to do#the “michael stop talking” is insane. i guess it's something that's dangerous to talk about and the others dont seem to deal with it?#it just doesn't — argh fine for wanting to talk I guess it's safer if i just delete this. I'm really frustrated#it's like talking to my overwhelmed father everything is liable to blow up and it's on me if i say something stupid#and i just want to watch odd squad#look im not saying anyone has to like me or there's not entirely valid reasons but they arent apparent to me and that's for good reason#the sighs get to me though it would be helpful if it was easier to understand or i guess if it wasn't so faith based because sometimes...#it seems more like ocd and I don't want to be doing it anyway because i feel strongly towards the way I'm being instructed#it's important and i want to do the right thing. i won't falter when it comes to what I'm meant to do#im itchy and tired and ... repenting... it's my spirit and not me... i want to make sense of things#please help me...?#oh um... i might be misunderstood when i said “i dont want to do it anyway” i mean do something i was told not to#i don't want to rush into a decision because it feels time based and my guidance is harsh sometimes and i can't tell if it's real or#someone else or#you know. crazy
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nexus-nebulae · 6 months ago
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actually making a concerted effort to learn written japanese (since I've learned a small amount of spoken already) and. oh boy did not realise how hard it is for my brain to learn new symbols
#not beating the dyslexia allegations here tbh#but like tbh i struggle to read even just fonts i don't normally read often#if an app changes its font it genuinely gets harder for me to read and use for a bit#but I've always thought of myself as a good reader and speller?#but now i have to wonder- was it just because i subconsciously implemented 'tricks' to help me deal with it easier so i didn't notice?#because learning a new language means absolutely none of those 'tricks' work#I've always felt like I've known the Shape of a word better than the actual content of letters making them up#most fonts have varying widths for different words right. except those kinds of typewriter fonts that make all letters evenly spaced#and i actually struggle to read typewriter fonts as quickly as i read like. basic sans serif arial-adjascent fonts#i actually prefer to do edit work in courier BECAUSE it forces me to read my own work slower#holy shit i googled 'courier font' and now the whole page is in courier thats kinda cool#also everyone says i spell really well in texts and things#what you dont know is that 90% of my hesitation with sending a message is just doing about 50 rereads to check for errors#(i Have to check it that many times cause otherwise i Will miss something and i Hate making typos)#(bc everyone makes fun of me for making typos and i do not like jokes being made out of misinterpreting me on purpose)#is there a dyslexia quiz that doesn't solely ask about your spelling and reading levels#like there's gotta be other symptoms than just being a slow reader what if you just brute forced reading fast somehow#i also didn't realise i was dyscalculic because i had to use so many similar Tricks to get me through math#and then algebra hit and i haven't passed a math class since......#like maybe i didn't notice i was dyslexic until i hit a barrier where my tricks just stopped working for me#like reading letters that aren't shaped the way I'm used to or learning a new language with different rules#i still have a vendetta against the Fancy lowercase a that just looks like an upside down e trying to read it makes me angry
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talkorsomething · 6 months ago
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genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#feels pretty much like the first night i got sick (remember that breakdown? lol) except this time i have Overcome the illness#mostly anyways.#but yeah i'm just. augh. not only do i have to deal with literal nightly thoughts of sh now i can't even sleep?!#my curse of Hearing Things immediately working against me the moment i can't hear things clearly#cause ... now i REALLY don't know whats going on#like i know it's not my business and shouldn't be my business but a) i live here and b) i have to hear it either way.#just ... yeah. now that we're probably as settled in as things are gonna get i REALLY do not feel like i'm meant to be here#not in general; as in this physical actual space. there's no thought that something should be made for all of us since they have work#& i ... well i do but [redacted]. so it's the work i make for myself mostly. but yeah so it doesn't matter if nobody sees me eat breakfast#(dont care about that anyways) and it doesnt matter that nobody sees me eat dinner (maybe i care A Little ok) because the whoooole rest of#the day is nebulous Lunch Time. and oh boy let me tell you. i'm not having that either#cause uhm. 'you can eat our food' only means so much until money comes into the equation#like BOY if i thought i was messed up about that before let me tell you: it has become Worse#i dunno. i try to have good days and yet the moment its Asleep Time i am someone completely different#like ... it's like seasonal depressiom but WORSE because theres SUNLIGHT and i LOVE SUNLIGHT#no yeah i think that's exactly the sort of thing i can liken it to now that i think of it#cause i always have like... seasonal issues when it starts gettin dark around 4-5ish range. except right now its summer so its NOT#wish i knew how to really be normal. then maybe at least if i wouldnt have good music making material i could like. meaningfully contribute#to my existence as a roommate#'i'm doing great' says man who is somehow Still Not#relatedly i think my next public facing breakdown is either gonna be about this still or about spinning in the pride parade. time will tell#....i can hear them AGAIN i know why IM up why are THEY#/bangs on wall Go To Sleeeeep leave me alone to also sleep T_T#that's ... that's a joke by the way i'm not doing that. i do feel more tired now so maybe i will have somewhat restful sleep. hopefully
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the-smiling-doodler · 7 months ago
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slams my head violently against the wall /neg
#the yapper#sighs.#gonna rant in the tags for a bit. (feel free to respond‚ i dont mind. i just need to get my thoughts out there)#also if you see any ships/characters censored its not because i hate them. its because i dont want them to pop up on the main tags !!#i fucking hate. hate hate HATE it when people shit talk certain design choices and ships and aus in the fandom#well. in any fandom really. but this is my ppt blog so this is what i'm gonna be talking about#but anyways back on track#i dont care if someone doesn't like something. thats the not the problem#the problem is when they don't like something and start being super fucking mean about it#i dont care if you hate d*ynap or p*ppyn*gs or oc x canon or tall c*tnap or skinny d*gday or [x] au or etc. i respect your opinion.#i DO care however‚ when you start being a dick about it. i dont respect you anymore when you call an au bad or shit when it doesnt feature#your favorite ship. i dont respect you anymore when you get mad at/disrespect an artist for drawing a character in a way you dont hc#or when you go under an artist's drawing to say 'cute.... but [x] is better ^_^' (boils my fucking blood. just say its cute or look away.)#or when you get mad at them for not centering their au around the ship you like. all of this includes when you do it behind their back‚ btw#i'm not asking anyone to engage with content they dont like. but good lord.#can you not talk about the stuff you dislike without putting them and the people who enjoy them down?? you sound like a jerk.#hrfhdg idk dude. it just makes me so angry and sad. please do better you guys.#sorry if this came off as too harsh. i'm just really sleepy and upset right now. so sick of this entitlement and these fuckass ship wars#it's so draining#im gonna take a nap and see if it makes it better#i'll also start drawing when i wake up !! sorry for anyone who was waiting in my askbox. my mind's just been occupied lately
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starpros-sunshine · 9 months ago
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I exist in this weird personality limbo where i somehow have so little sense of an individual self that that over time warped into. whatever this is. I have something going on here i'm sure but I am 99% sure that it's either indescribable or just very difficult to define beyond "Nice with an interesting sense of humour"
#talked to someone today and all I could think about after was how off that felt#the whole experience I mean#not the person I like the person#I was meant to sit alone in a room and do my own thing honestly that's what life keeps signaling to me#but I like being with people is the issue I enjoy being out and about it's a change of something it feels like the normal thing to do#i mean what normal teens get up to and all that it doesn't feel very normal to me but you understand#I enjoy doing stuff i can talk about afterwards is all I mean#but at the same time it's very...like...I know if I behaved off protocol right now you would not enjoy me#I have nothing of relevance to say I have a lot of half-knowledge nobody can actually do anything with#I'm a little dull but it works for me so i don't mind#but on protocol is literally just basic curtesy rules and polite behaviour thats. well. nice.#people say they enjoy talking to me but I dont think a lot of them really do i think they just think I'm pleasant company because I'm polit#and don't really have a set opinion#but again it works for me#I do wonder sometimes if people can sense that#that I'm not all there I mean#i wouldn't want to seem like I don't care I do kind of I don't like the thought of getting very attached to people but it's nice#to have something like friends I mean#or rather people you get along with very well#It's just a bit of a strange experience is all#boy I'm going way out of my comfort zone here with the introspection sebastian sir since when were we so willing to self reflect#that sounds wrong it's not like i have a problem with that#ahhh I need to do my art thing....#sigh the deadline is tomorrow and I am not done yet it's 11pm and -i have to get out early tomorrow#I just want to sleep#and then sleep in. let me have my twelve hours of cozy in bed time :/
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