#saw this ask while i was out w my fam and had to contain the uncontrollable gigglesBDMVJCHD almost threw myself imto thr lake

[mintypsii]

HIIIII I JUST WANTED TO SAY YOUR SANUSO FANFIC WITH THE LATTE ART IS THE FIRST ONE PIECE FANFIC I’VE READ DESPITE BEING IN THE FANDOM FOR A YEAR AND I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH AND IT’S SO SO CUTE AND IT MAKES ME GIGGLE WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT

HHI OMG. YOU HABE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME AAAUHGHVJDJDJ THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! 💖💥💖🔥🙏💥🙏💖‼️💖💖💖💖AAAGHHHHH I WAS SO SCARED TO POST IT SINCE IM NOT VERY CONFIDENT IN MY WRITING BUT IM REAAALLLLYYY GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT WWNWNDHGF CUZ I DEF ENJOYED WRITING IT LOL!!! and woah no way it was your first op fic IM RELIEVED THAT I WASNT A BAD INTRODUCTION TO OP FANFICTION 😭😭😭💥💥💥 here's a lil concept doodle i did of em that i cleaned up for u 🫶🫶

[akitohsworld]

Disclaimer: I wrote this some time ago, when I was very sleepy. How they could've met before the exchange? I love stupid references don't@ me lol

Warning: slight NSFW at the end (under the cut)

Put a spell on me |Solomon X m!Reader

Saying Solomon was feeling under the weather was an understatement. He felt like absolute shit. His stomach was recoiling, giving him the impression he had to vomit, but couldn't. Resulting in him being wobbly on his feet. Although, he was currently trying to sober up. The lack of water caused his head to hurt, while he walked alongside the river to go back to his apartment. He was in no shape to teleport, not with the sense of orientation he had right now.

A frustrated groan escaped him as he grabbed onto the metal fence beside the river, letting gravity take over as he slouched down onto the floor.

It was a beautiful night, you could see the starry sky reflecting in the river. The silence only being disturbed by some outlandish music in the distance. Somewhere, there was another party raving besides the witches sabbath he had successfully escaped.

He knew he shouldn't have accepted that many drinks from the witches. But it had been a successful year, he was only going back to the Devildom next week... And, probably, going to meet that other exchange student by then.

"Hey fam, you okay?" A voice slurred above him, blocking the blinding streetlights before him.

"Yeah yeah, thank you for your concern-," Solomon looked up surprised. He thought he was the only one here-

"Here ," a handsome guy, probably not a sorcerer, held out a bottle of water to him, grinning friendly. "You gotta stay hydrated when drunk."

"Uhm.. thanks?" Solomon chuckled. "That's nice, but I hear I shouldn't accept drinks from kind strangers"

Their hair reflected in the warm light, along with unfocused eyes glistening in the dark, when he shot Solomon a kind smile.

Solomon suspected he was from where the music was coming from. Another rave or party or whatever, since he was wearing flashy attire and sweat was glistening on his smooth skin.

From dancing, maybe? It wasn't that warm. Rather fresh, if Solomon would say so himself.

"Hmmm", the stranger put a hand on his chin. "I guess, I'm feelin' a biiiiit brave tonight haha. Here, I'll take a sip from it first."

He chucked down a bit of water. "There."

Solomon just stared at him for a solid second. Maybe, probably, surely, this was the alcohol. But this stranger had something alluring about him. His glistening lips from the water made Solomon unable to do anything else but stare.

"You going to take it, or not?"

"Ah yes", Solomon grabbed the bottle and took a sip before putting it back down again.

"May I sit with you?" He put a hand on his neck and averted his gaze. "I- uhm came here to get away from all the noise for a bit- I don't wanna be creepy or anything-"

"Oh- Yes of course! Don't worry about it"

The grin returned to his face as he slouched down beside him. "Thank you."

Solomon took another chug of water. He didn't really have anywhere to be, nor did he have the strength to go home anyways. So he figured he might as well sober up, while making some new memories.

"Out of curiosity.. what do you mean by brave?" Solomon smirked at him.

"Well...", the stranger just smiled, a slight tint of colour dusting his cheeks. "You're pretty handsome. And I normally can't ask out guys for the heck of it.. so yeah. I'd say I'm being stupidly brave by talking to someone as hot as you."

The sorcerer laughed. "How very direct"

"Must be the alcohol", he chuckled. "I don't know anyone around here.. and I have a habit of drinking too much when I'm at social gatherings without friends.. What about you? Why are you here all alone?.. If it's okay to ask, at least."

"Ah it's okay~ I'm trying to sober up from drinking too", Solomon sighed. "It was an exhausting night.."

The stranger nodded sighing. "Tell me about it."

"So.. what are you celebrating?"

And so, they proceeded to talk about the reasons why they were here. Their conversation slowly but surely going of its original rails, from politics to religion to light-hearted shows and childhood memories.

Solomon, of course, didn't go into much detail about magic nor anything like that. They were simply trailing off into more and more different topics, running their tongues because of the alcohol.

"Wait, people avoid you when you invite them?" He asked in shock, "Even after you offer to cook for them?! Woah, that's rude after everything you've done..."

Solomon hung his head in disappointment. "I really don't know what the issue is, you know? It's not like they outright avoid me when we nee- want to hang out, but everytime I offer my hospitality they just.. you know?"

"Shiiiit bro... ," he thought for a bit, then joked, "Maybe your cooking sucks?"

Solomon sighed dramatically, proceeding to pout. "Can't blame the tasteless."

"Just kidding kidding!!" he smiled sympathetically, "Maybe it's best if you ask them directly about it. Honesty is always key, no matter where you're from."

Solomon remembered something.

"So, I'm guessing you're not from around here?"

The stranger looked him up and down, seeming to think for a bit and then smirking back at him.

"You tell me, wizard boy. Am I?"

"Oh? How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm", Solomon gesticulated dramatically, "a wizard."

He became serious and leaned closer to Solomon, putting a hand on his shoulder. Solomon's breath hitched ever so slightly as the stranger's intense gaze held him entranced.

"You're a wizard, Harry."

"Huh?"

The stranger wheezed at his reference, as Solomon finally understood and erupted into laughter himself.

He stopped himself to respond seriously:

"..A wizard?"

"Don't you feel it ," the stranger put their hand over Solomon's heart, making his heart pound a bit harder, which surprised him, "...,Mister Krabs?"

"Huh- What?-"

After a perplexed pause they looked at each other and wheezed and cackled in the cursed manner your friends laugh when someone tells a ridiculous, dumb joke.

As they sat there, next to a river enveloped by the light of street lamps in a park, their laughter erupted through the silent night. Nothing but very faint music could be heard in the distance. Solomon didn't even know why he was laughing so hard. It was a stupid reference. And this stranger was clearly out of it.

There was something about him... Solomon just couldn't put his finger to it.

"S-so haha you're a man of culture as well~", Solomon calmed down, "What's your name?"

" Of course~ (y/N)." The stranger responded smiling, wiping away a tear. "Yours?"

"Solomon.", he answered reciprocating the smile.

"Solomon the wise?"

"Yes." He shot him a knowing glance. "So you do know me~"

"Oh yes~" (y/N)'s fingers slid over Solomon's coat. "You dress like a wizard, you look like a wizard aaaaand your named after King Solomon the wise. Great literature surrounds you: like Ars Goëtia and the lesser keys of, well, you", their gaze turned to look into the sorcerer's grey eyes.

With that, Solomon understood.

This person didn't know him . He knew of his tales, the legends, basically fairy tales.

He was like most humans... Unaware of the magical world he lived in. The realisation stung a bit, but the sorcerer decided to play along anyways as he felt himself sobering up.

"Well, I can't disappoint a fan like yourself now, can I?" Solomon smirked.

"Ohh~ So are you going to show me any tricks?" (y/N) laughed, standing up challengingly. "Come at me with your best shot, wizard boy~"

Solomon didn't know why, but he felt the urge to impress the young man.

"Hmm", he stood up, although a bit wobbly. "Alright. But I'll need an assistant~"

"Oh my oh myyy" (y/N) excitedly clapped their hands together. "I'll sacrifice myself for the greater good then."

Solomon chuckled, shooting him a provocative glance through his lashes at which he thought he saw (y/N) blushing.

"So, (y/N), are you ready?"

"I'm was born ready"

Solomon offered him his hand. "Take my hand, my cute assistant~"

"Oh my, and he has a way with words", (y/N) overdramatically took his hand, "The ladies will die if you do that, you know?"

"Oh will they now?", Solomon pulled him towards himself, "What effect do you think Hecate's power will have on you?"

"I like your funny words, magic man", (y/N) smirked playfully. "Tell me more~"

Solomon scoffed. This guy is a walking reference book.

"Have you ever danced with a sorcerer in the pale moonlight?", he asked, putting another hand on (y/N)'s waist, said man's breath hitching.

"W-well, I'm pretty sure the proverb goes different, Solomon", he put a hand on his counterpart's shoulder as he let Solomon take the lead, "I thought you were going to show me a trick though~"

"Patience is a virtue", he simply said teasingly.

"-and a pain", (y/N) retorted, while taking the first step back.

"So you know how to waltz?", Solomon began to lead.

"School taught me many things", he imitated a rough old man voice, "You youngsters would never understand"

Solomon tried to contain his need to laugh.

"Aha~ Funny, enlighten me?"

"Well, I don't know what they teach in wizard boy-school", they turned, " But back in my day, they tried to teach me calculus"

Solomon quirked a brow. "Tried?" Then he spun (y/N) around.

"Well, I was busy drawing into my notes", his cold hand slipped to Solomon's neck, making the sorcerer tense up.

"And what kind of Mona Lisa-worth drawings were you working on? I bet only of the highest quality~", sarcasm dripped from his voice as he shot (y/N) a teasing smile.

"Oh you can't even imagine~", (y/N) rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner before shooting him a deadpan look, "Penises mostly"

A laugh escaped Solomon. "How refined"

"I am nothing but refined, sir~"

Solomon spun him around again, matching no pace in particular, as he pulled him closer to his chest this time. A small gasp left (y/N)'s mouth.

"H-hey now, be careful there. Or do you want me to fall?"

Solomon's lips pursed up in amusement, but quickly froze as he looked into the man's face.

(y/N)'s expression was contorted in utter joy, like he couldn't contain their grin. He looked stupidly adorable...

Solomon felt his heart clench at the sight. But he quickly snapped out of it as he shot (y/N) another charming smile.

"So, about 'the ladies dying' at my charm.."

"You're still on about that?" (y/N) chuckled amused, "Give it a rest wizard boy. We get it, you're handsome-"

"What about you?" his cheeks burned as he felt himself getting... Nervous? That's new.

Solomon hoped the darkness wouldn't give him away, "How do you feel about my 'charm'?"

For a second everything stood still and they both came to a stop. Their eyes locked and silence engulfed them. Tension began to claw at both man's braveness, as realisation struck them. This encounter had progressively turned into something more. Not some random thing.

It felt like..

(y/N) averted his gaze, face flushing a bright red as he chuckled nervously. "It... It takes a bit more for me to die, Sol.."

Fate.

"Is that so?", Solomon's fingers interlaced with his as he slowly inched closer.

"I mean.. you could find out..." (y/N)'s eyes slowly closed when-

Strings of colourful magic sparked around them.

"Huh?!" His eyes shot wide open, grip tightening on Solomon's hands, "What-"

(y/N) looked around stunned and extremely surprised.

"So? How was that for a 'magic trick'?"

(y/N)'s gaze returned to face him. "Y-you.. How?"

The sorcerer just hummed. "Who knows?"

"This... Must be a dream then..", he sighed disappointed, a tinge of sadness in his voice, "That's a bummer.. I really like you."

Now it was Solomon's turn to blush.

"I- I understand the confusion, but- mph?!"

With that his lips pressed onto Solomon's.

The sorcerer froze, while (y/N)'s mouth opened a little, slipping his tongue through Solomon's mouth. He tasted like sweet liquor, further entrancing the sorcerer in a passionate kiss.

Solomon got over his shock quickly as his hands found the other's waist, pulling him towards himself. When (y/N) sighed into the kiss, hands burying into his white locks, excitement shot through his spine.

Solomon pressed him against a nearby tree. He grew hot as (y/N)'s soft, wet lips brushed against his, the passion growing with each passing second.

"Mnh hah", (y/N) parted for a second, a string of saliva connecting them, lips barely brushing against his, "This.. feels too real though.."

"Because it is- ", Solomon panted against his mouth, connecting their lips again with more of his own vigor this time. His tongue eagerly brushing over the other's.

God, what was he doing?

What was he doing??

But fuck it felt so good.

He couldn't resist the desire to touch (y/N) more and more. He wanted him closer and it showed.

As if on cue, (y/N)'s hand slid over Solomon's pants, suddenly palming his half hard erection and making him moan into the other's mouth longingly.

"Mnn- (y/N) wait.."

"Mnh? Oh sorry-!", he stopped abruptly.

"N-no I mean... Let's.. let's go to my place-"

"Oh~" (y/N) smiled and kissed him again, teeth pulling at his bottom lip as he parted panting.

"Alright then. Show me the way, wizard-boy~"

[lost-in-sokovia]

toxic - chapter 7

i thought this gif would be appropriate since it’s your time to shine with the fam. anyway, enjoy this really chaotic chapter because it is all over the place. (may contain spoilers to Knives Out)

You woke up the morning of Thanksgiving with a knot in your stomach.

You’re telling me you had to go back and deal with Ransom’s chaotic ass family? No thank you!

You decided on a pair of black leggings, a maroon long sleeved shirt, a gray cardigan, and brown low cut boots for this particular event. You didn’t exactly know how everyone there would be dressed, but if you were going to be uncomfortable you might as well be uncomfortable in comfortable clothing.

You sighed as you finished curling your hair and applying some neutral eyeshadow and mascara. You heard a knock at the door and hurried out of the bathroom.

“(Y/N), can’t hide in there forever,” Ransom called. You pulled on your boots before opening the door and blinking in surprise.

He wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a gray sweater with black converse. His hair was combed back and his blue eyes shined brightly.

“Converse, Mr. Drysdale?” You complimented and winked at him. He shrugged as the two of you began to walk downstairs.

“Eh, they were in the back of my closet and I thought ‘this seems like the holiday of trying new things,” he explained with dramatic hand motions. You giggled.

It was a day much like the rest, cloudy, damp, cold, and windy. You shivered as you climbed into the BMW and buckled up. Ransom climbed in next to you and started the engine.

As the two of you took off you began talking.

“So... what should I be expecting?” You asked with a small smile. Ransom smiled back as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Picture your first day with them but closer, more political, longer, and more awkward,” he explained. You scoffed and looked up.

“So it doesn’t get any better?” You said flatly. He chuckled.

“It just goes down hill sweetheart,” he replied with slight pity. Your heart jumped.

Sweetheart, goddammit.

~•~•~

When the two of you made it back to the gorgeous estate, your nerves worked up even more as Ransom parked. He unbuckled and turned to look at you. You were shaking slightly (from cold or nerves, neither of you could tell) and had a forced smile plastered on your face.

“You’re nervous,” he observed flatly.

“You’re crazy,” you shot bsck. He raised his eyebrows.

“(Y/N) I swear you’ll make it through. Look, Joni is going to get tipsy, my parents are going to gossip in the corner, Marta- well I don’t really pay attention to her, Jacob will be on his phone the whole time, Meg-“

“Okay I know you’re trying to help but I think we should just go in,” you cut him off quickly. He stared at you for a moment and saw the urgency in your eyes and shrugged.

“Suit yourself.” He climbed out and you followed. You walked faster to catch up with him and pulled your cardigan around you tighter. You took a deep inhale and exhale as you entered the warm house and smelled lots of different food you were surely excited to eat.

“Marta!” You exclaimed. The nurse caught your eye and smiled, waving. You looked next to you and Ransom had already left your side, making his way to the kitchen and breezing past his family. You frowned briefly but looked back at Marta. “How are you?” You asked. She glanced around the room.

“It’s another Thrombey holiday, one of the few days a year I have to put up with them all at once,” she retorted. You smiled and patted her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I’m here this year and I’m always willing to help a girl out.” You smiled. She nodded before being called in the other room and leaving to answer. You looked around at the castle house, as you liked to call it. The upside was that you got to spend all day in this beautiful home of a kind man. The downside was that you also had to deal with his all over the place family.

“(Y/N)!” A female voice exclaimed. Joni walked towards you smiling with a glass of champagne in her hand. “Here you are again, how are things with Ransom?” She asked as she surveyed your appearance. She made it seem like the two of you were close gal pals who hadn’t seen each other since college back in ‘87. Maybe this was just her persona... But it was weird.

“Oh, everything is nice,” you replied politely and nodded. She smiled and hummed a soft “mhm,” before regaining eye contact.

“Look, so I was reading your horoscope and-“

“How do you know when my birthday is?”

“Oh easy I found one of your article on Twitter and I just looked you up and-“

“(Y/N)!” Another voice said. You resisted the urge to groan in annoyance and roll your eyes. Is it possible to get tired of hearing your own name?

You looked over and shuddered when you saw Richard walking towards you and smiling. He walked up and put an arm around you and warnings were going off in your head.

“Joni leave the poor girl alone, go have a drink,” Richard shooed her away. Joni rolled her eyes and walked away as her high heels went click click on the wood floor. That left just you and Richard.

“How are ya kiddo?” He asked in a (little too) friendly tone. You smiled nervously and tried to inch a bit out of his grip.

“Oh, wonderfully,” you said through gritted teeth. You looked around for a possible outing but Ransom was nowhere in sight.

“Good, good, listen,” Richard cleared his throat and pointed a finger. “Linda and I were talking and we thought it would be nice for you and Ransom to maybe spend a night with us, you know? I mean we’d like to get to know you too,” He explained. Your head felt light and you were just trying to get away by this point, but his grip around you was too strong.

“Oh, I-I don’t know, Ransom and I seem to be doing just fine-“

“We would love to have you, sincerely! I-“

“Hey perv, let her go.” You heard a stern voice say. You looked up and Meg was standing right in front of you, glaring at her uncle. Richard furrowed his brows and huffed.

“Meg come on-“

“No get off you slimy perv!” She restated firmly and yanked you away from him. You stood trembling with your wrist grasped by her hand and watched Richard storm off. She turned to face you, her naturally-sad green eyes looking you up and down. “Are you alright?” She asked. You sighed and nodded.

“Y-Yeah, I am now. Thanks so much,” you breathed. She hugged you and held your hand.

“Look if he ever comes up to you again just mention something you’ve written at your job. I know you and your work and what you write about is an absolute way to piss him off.” She winked. You smiled and nodded. She gave you a smile before slowly walking off to find something to do.

You pulled yourself back together and started to slowly walk around, hoping you’d run into Ransom somewhere. While passing by a few chairs, Ransom’s cousin Jacob sat quietly on his phone.

“So why are you here?” He asked without skipping a beat. You halted in your tracks and looked down at him.

“Hm?” You replied in confusion.

“Why are you here? Nobody just visits Ransom to visit Ransom,” he said shortly without looking up. You scoffed in disbelief and crossed your arms.

“Uhm, Ransom and I used to be super close. This is just me revisiting an old friend,” you said curtly. Jacob rolled his eyes and put down his phone to actually look at you.

“Look, I don’t know if someone like you would understand,” he began. You did a double take. Someone like me? What the hell kid! “But Ransom always has a play. And since the two of you are so close, I would’ve expected you to-“

“Hey short stack,” Ransom suddenly appeared next to you, cutting Jacob off. “How about you stick to spewing crap through your phone, yeah?” Ransom retorted and drove you away from him. You blinked a couple times. What the hell was happening? You’d only been here for fifteen minutes and you were getting so many mixed signals.

“Ransom what the hell,” you said. He shook his head.

“Don’t mind him, he’s literally insane- Fran!” Ransom called and snapped his fingers above your head as the maid passed by. She stopped and glared at him. “She would like a drink.” Ransom pointed down at you. Fran chuckled and continued to walk away.

“Welcome to the family, kid,” she muttered.

~•~•~•~•~

Later that evening after getting to know Marta and having a quite pleasant conversation with Harlan, it was time for dinner. The family sat at a huge table with Harlan to your right and Ransom to your left. Harlan insisted you sit near the head of the table with him because of your “charm and pleasantness.” It made you blush whenever he said that.

After dinner was served and everyone was eating, Harlan took this as an opportunity for everyone to learn more about you.

“So tell me my darling (Y/N), what’s your life like back home?” He asked. You glanced around with wide eyes as everyone slowly turned their attention to you. You cleared your throat.

“W-Well, I live in an apartment in New York and I work at The New York Times,” you began slowly. Harlan nodded with an intrigued expression as you continued. “I-I have a best friend, Claire, and we normally work together on our articles...” You gestured to Marta. “Claire is Latina too, so I’m really blessed to-“

“Makes sense,” Jacob muttered. Richard cleared his throat and leaned forward and held his hands on the table.

“Ah, so an immigrant friend! What’s that like (Y/N)?” he asked. You couldn’t tell if he was trying to be racist or not, but you furrowed your eyebrows.

“What do you mean? She grew up in-“

“Oh please Richard leave the girl alone,” Linda scolded. All of a sudden the table was roaring with stern chatter. Ransom sat there and laughed, glancing at how idiotic his family looked. Harlan rubbed his temples and gently touched one of your hands, glancing at you with an “I’m sorry” expression. You slowly sat back down as you glanced around at everyone talking about immigration and politics. You took a sip of wine and sighed.

~•~•~•~•~

“I’m just saying that if women are working the same jobs as men how can they not be getting paid the same?!” Richard said from the couch. The conversation that night had shifted from immigration to feminism. Linda, Richard, Joni, Meg, and Jacob all sat in chairs or couches around the fireplace. Your head was resting on the doorframe as your eyes drooped with boredom and exhaustion. You gently swished around the dark red alcohol in your glass, occasionally taking a sip out of it.

“Oh my god Richard! Obviously if that was the case we wouldn’t need feminism!” Joni explained in annoyance.

“But Joni it would be unreasonable for something like that to happen! Studies show-“

“Richard not all jobs have the same ethics-“

“Shut it Meg you’re still in college,” Jacob said flatly. Meg glared at him and gave him a swift slap on the arm.

“Here, you know what, (Y/N)!” Richard called. You perked your head up and slowly walked into their conversation as Linda scolded her husband and Joni complained. “(Y/N), dear, how are you getting paid at your job?”

You took a sip of wine.

~•~•~

While you were getting quizzed on your job and beliefs, Harlan had called Ransom into his study to talk about you.

“Well my dear boy,” Harlan said. Ransom looked at him blankly.

“Hm?” He asked. Harlan tapped his finger against the desk.

“A fine young girl isn’t she?” Harlan asked. Ransom nodded. “She’s both intelligent and beautiful, how’d you manage to be friends with her in the first place?” Harlan teased. Ransom smiled and shook his head.

“Yeah, she’s really something.”

“What are you planning to do with the next few days you have with her left?” Harlan asked. Ransom looked up for a moment.

“Oh you know, just what we’ve done the last couple days,” Ransom replied casually. Harlan cocked an eyebrow.

“You know, I’d hate for you to lose her somehow,” Harlan replied. Ransom’s insides halted, but he played it cool on the outside. Harlan knew his grandson, he knew there was some sort of scheme he was up to.

“Grandfather what do you mean?” Ransom asked. Harlan leaned back in his chair and shrugged.

“I feel as though the two of you reconnected for a reason, and I just hope it was for something good. And I hope it stays,” Harlan told his grandson. Ransom stared at him blankly for a moment before Harlan chuckled and patted his hand. “Go out there my boy.” He laughed.

Ransom stood up slowly and walked out, shutting the door gently behind him. Somehow his grandfather had made it into his mind and flipped some sort of switch. Did Ransom have feelings for you?

“(Y/N)!” Ransom called. You turned around to see him walking up quickly towards you as you stood in the middle of Joni and Richard, whose tones and volumes were beginning to rise. You sighed in relief.

“Ransom I’m ready to go,” you muttered. He nodded and the two of you quickly walked towards the door.

“(Y/N) and I are leaving!” He yelled. You stood next to the door as Ransom pulled on his jacket quickly. He opened the door and gestured for you to walk out. You walked out into the brisk night air in a small hurry. You could hear confused chatter and people trying to say goodbye as Ransom and you quickly climbed into the BMW. You felt horrible for not saying goodbye to Meg, Marta, and Harlan, but you knew you’d make it up somehow. Ransom was tired of his family. He wanted to go home and spend as much time with you as he could, hoping to figure out some things of his own.

Harlan watched all this through a window in his office. He chuckled as he watched as you and his grandson left in such a hurry. Harlan wasn’t hurt you didn’t say goodbye, he knew you would be back at sometime. Marta looked up from the book she was reading.

“What?” She asked with a smile. Harlan turned to face her.

“She’ll be back,” he said. Marta shrugged and looked back down at her book.

~•~•~

“That was really something,” you sighed as the two of you drove home in the night.

“I was quite surprised how nicely you handled everyone there,” Ransom complimented.

“Yeah well I’m just a good actress I guess, because I was nervous and awkward the whole time,” you laughed. He smiled and was silent for a moment, thinking about everything Harlan had told him.

“You know Harlan really likes you,” Ransom said. You raised an eyebrow.

“Did you two boys talk about me?” You asked playfully. Ransom shrugged.

“He said he thought you and I reconnected for a reason,” he explained. You thought about it for a moment.

“I mean I guess,” you replied in agreeance.

The BMW pulled into the driveway and parked. The two of you got out and you shivered. You were tired and ready to go to bed. You walked into and the two of you took off your coats and shoes as you pulled your curls up into a bun.

You walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water to make sure you were hydrated since you felt just the tiniest bit tipsy. Ransom followed and turned on a few lights. You hopped up and sat on the counter as you drank your water and Ransom looked over at you. Sure you looked tired but still you managed to impress him.

You began to tell him about your take on the whole night. He laughed, agreed, and told you some crazy stories about his family. Neither of you noticed how close he came up to you. He was right in front of you, and the two of you locked eyes. His eyes roamed your face and body and you exhaled slowly, staring at his lips.

The two of you leaned in slowly as ever and you slightly hesitated right before connecting your lips to his. You closed your eyes and his hand reached up to caress your cheek. The kiss was gentle, not like anything you had expected from him.

When the two of you pulled away you smiled and giggled. He grinned and looked down.

“Shit, how do you do this to me?” He asked in astonishment with himself. You blushed and bit your lip.

“Oh come on,” you replied playfully. Without missing a beat his lips were back on yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

Ransom had fallen victim to his feelings; he loved you. How quickly he had realized that astounded him. All Ransom knew was Harlan somehow knew and pushed the stimulation. All you knew was the remainder of that night was a wonderful blur.

*cries in hormonal teenager* god i was fangirling just WRITING that! i really hope you enjoyed, chapter 8 will be out soon!🤍

taglist:

@heyiamthatbitch @mcuclintasha @captainsmallassrogers @fangirlinacoffeeshopweshare @anisiamoisa @awesomelittledemarco03 @aletteredaffair @castellandiangelo @theangrylizard @frencchfries @takemetooneverlanddd @sp2900 @smilexcaptainx @monpetitcoin21 @marymoon18 @mccunted @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @chuuulip @sweetlittlegingy @lookalivefrosty @brookebradford @patzammit @stucky-is-life-thank-you @bval-1 @need-more-time @blowfishevans @polarcrystall @little-dark-empress @rosalynshields @asianbuttcheek @dailythotdotcom @topstory21 @canny1902 @alexxcorona113 @what-inspirational-name @summer-may @abbyalee @littlefiercequeen @stardancerluv @oncemorewithfeelingg @sophiealiice @snowxbarryxendgame @lilwickedred

[tubbinary]

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

 ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada.  ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You are about to get spammed with 600 dank memes. Prepare all nukes and weapons for the Great Spam War. If you can contain the amount of spam I have, you will be granted with special powers that allow you to smoke weed 200 times harder. Not only that, but you will have a laggy as fuck laptop. You know how lucky you are?????? My laptop runs at 669FPS and it never lags or is slow. YOU LUCKY SON OF A GUN. You will pay the price by me giving you a link (Which shall contain a download) which will wipe all your memory off the face of this universe and overwrite it with my own software, Memesoftlocker2.0000.0. You are so damn lucky you know that? NOT EVEN I HAVE IT SLUT. But if you were able to read up to this point congratulations, you suck. But click this link www.mymom.;;;;;;/eeeeeeee.crash; and you will be taken to a memory erase phrase. You lucky slut, but you will get the best computer software ever that makes your computer lag so bad that you can't even use it. LIKE HOW AMAZING??? Yes, I promise you this is 420% legit. But if you spread this abusive software you have EARNED I will suck you off this living universe so be careful buddy. Now, Please stop reading this message as it ends now...

Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life.  It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit.  You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay.  Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

ifuckinglovecock2@hotmail.net

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ　ＲＴＺ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＥＧ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＹ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＭＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＥＧ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＹＯＵ　７０％　ＯＦ　ＴＨＥ　ＴＩＭＥ，　ＯＲ　ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ　ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ　ＳＯ　Ｉ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

                         ▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄

░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌

░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█

░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌

░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄

░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄

░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄

░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄

░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄

░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄

░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง 

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

 (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

 (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

 (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽   

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ 

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง 

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) 

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽   

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง   

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

 ☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ  

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง   

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ 

 █▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out  

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽  

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ 

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ 

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ 

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ> 

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ  

 ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽  

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °) 

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ 

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)   

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them 

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN 

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/

─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ  

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ 

ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨

 ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ

 †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ  

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] 

༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ  

Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・ ｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!! 

 ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ɪᴛs ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜�� ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

  Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl 👭 , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick 💕💯, && if i dont get this back 🕙 , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. 💯 I love you , I love you forever !! 💯 Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! 💯💯💯 Ready, set, GO !!!! in

  Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯

  ! ! ! ATTENTION 2003 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️��TH GRADE)

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #145: Don't Anger the Witch Part 3(Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

Bayonetta: (Sighed before opening the door) I'm honestly glad that my match ended quickly today. I could finally get a long awaited- WHAT IN THE FUCKING BLAZE!!!

Upon Bayonetta's surprise, she saw the living as a complete mess. So much so that she almost confused it as an actual jungle....a messy, unorganized jungle. But what truly upsets her....is the fact that Bowser is sleeping on the couch yet again while wearing shades under his eyes. Now before the Umbra Witch could call out the King Koopa's name in justified rage, she sudden saw one of her babies, Lucas, pop up from a pile of crumbled paper.

Lucas: (Panting) That.....was something....

Bayonetta: Lucas!! (Rushes over to Lucas and gave him a big hug and kisses on his cheeks) Oh honey!! I am so glad that you're okay!! Why on Earth were you down there?! You could've gotten yourself seriously hurt!

Lucas: (Starts feeling a little guilty) Sorry for worrying you, Ms. Bayonetta. I was actually trying to help Bowser clean up here. (Rubbing his head back and forth while chuckling nervously) Buuuut....the mess was so big that I may have accidentally got myself sunk down. It actually took me an hour to get back up there.

Bayonetta: ('Sigh') While I'm happy that you wanted to help clean up here, you shouldn't have to do all of this work for a lazy Koopa who knows full well that's his job to do so. Why did he even asked for your help to begin with?

Lucas: Well, he told me that he was tired from yesterday. So he asked for me to do him a solid and do all the cleaning for him.

Bayonetta: (Facepalms) I thought so.... Could you cover your ears for a second Lucas dear?

Lucas: (Pulls out an headphones and place them on his ears without question)

Bayonetta: (Smiles at Lucas before turning to Bowser) Thank you, sweetie....BOWSERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Bowser: (Yelp in awake while falling down from the couch and getting up) I'm up! I'm....up.....

Bayonetta: (Gave Bowser a venomous glare) Hello...Bowser.....

Bowser: (Scared Shitless once he lead eyes on Bayonetta) (Oh....shit....) Okay....I know this may seem bad now...but..... uhh...... I'm sorry?.....

Bayonetta: (Took deep breaths) You know what? I'm not going to do it.

Bowser/Lucas: (Confused) What?

Bayonetta: Yes. You heard me. I'm not going to yell at you this time. I had a long day and I am not going waste all on this energy on you for the third time.

Bowser: (Confused) Oh. Uh...okay?

Bayonetta: (Smirks While she points at a shocked Palutena who just walked in) But I do believe she has a lot to say about all of this.

Palutena: (Shocked after looking around a messy room) What in the names of Hades happened here?!!!!

Hades: (Pops out if portal) You rang?......(Saw the mess and a scared Bowser) Ohohoho! Oh you've done fucked up now, Koopa!

Ashley: (Sprint inside and gave Lucas a hug) Lucas! I got your text and everything. I am so glad that you're okay.

Lucas: (Hugs Ashley back) Thanks, Ashley.

Palutena: Bowser...........

Bowser: (Slowly turns to an angry Goddess in fear) Y-Y-Yes?.....

Palutena: (Livid while walking slowly to the Koopa) What. Happened. Here?!!! EXPLAIN?!!!

Hades: (Walk back into the portal with a satisfied smile) I'm out, fam!

Lucas: Ashley, we need to get out here.

Ashley: (Hold Lucas' hand before teleporting both of them out of the mansion) Don't worry. I'll teleport us out.

Bowser: (Starts walking back in fear) C-Come on! W-W-We can just talk about this like adults!! Right?....

Bayonetta: (Looks at Palutena and gave her approval nod) Let him have it, dear.

Palutena: (Fire in her eyes) Right....

WARNING

The following scene contains language of a frank and explicit nature. Viewer direction is advised.

....Hey. Third time's the charm am I right?

Palutena: (Livid) Who do you think you are?!!! Making a huge mess like this!! And now you're making our baby do ALL of the work?!! (CRASH) WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!! (CRASH) You have kids too, don't ya?!! What would they think if they saw their father being a lazy FUCK who makes people do his work for them!!! (CRASH)

Twenty Minutes Later.....

A few citizen from Smash Town has stand in front of the Mansion while hearing Palutena yells at Bowser from the inside.

Palutena: And another thing, I don't give a RAT ASS (CRASH) if you are the King!!! I do not and will not tolerate with this UTTER BULLSHIT!!! (CRASH) Now you get that broom and clean all of this up RIGHT NOW!!!!! (LOUD CRASH)

Everyone of those few citizens starts running away after hearing the last crash. Only leaving two familiar couple left standing.

Makoto: (Eyes Widened) ......Was that...really Lady Palutena?

Ren: Yep.

Makoto: Is this is because of Bowser again?

Ren: Pretty much.

Makoto: No offense, but...your moms are pretty scary sometimes, Ren.

Ren: (Smiles a little) Yeah...but I still love them either way.

Makoto: (Lay her head on Ren's shoulder with a smile while walking away from the mansion) I'm so glad you do.

After cleaning all of the miss he made that day, Bowser never worked or make any deals with Bayonetta or Palutena again..... mainly because he's now terrified of both of them and that he was already giving the lovely couple enough migraine as it is.

@keyenuta

@ink-correctsmashbrosbloo

@gengar-sans

@mariah2014

@26shann

@ma-lemons

[subasekabang]

Long Dream –Live Remix– (B Side)

Title: Long Dream –Live Remix– (B Side)

Rating: T

Word Count: 7598 total, 3840 this chapter

Characters: Coco, Joshua, Neku, Beat, OMC, OFC

Warnings: Major character death

Summary: Her Magnum Opus nears completion, and as her audience approaches, she hurriedly arranges one final rehearsal.  Elaboration on a pet theory of mine, built out of Final Remix spoilers.

Feel the people, hear the voices

They are reaching out to catch you

Feel the rhythms, hear the noises

You are beating all the visions

***

Shinjuku’s Room of Reckoning, the seat of power for its reigning Composer, was the only place in the entire city that Coco absolutely hated.  Despite being a space set aside specifically for her, she was required to keep the room exactly the way it had always been: a throwback to the Shinto roots of the city, with a gate of red wood over the entrance, two fox statues standing guard just beyond that, braided ropes and paper charms decorating every wall, and a large patch of white sand centered around a single flat stone under a narrow skylight.  Coco sat cross-legged on a cushion on that stone, rapidly tapping her fingers as she regarded her surroundings.

“This place and I have, like, the exact opposite energy.”

It wasn’t much longer until she heard footsteps.  Through the gate walked a woman who looked to be in her thirties, with slightly pale skin and straight black hair tied into a bun, wearing a simple shrine maiden uniform.  She knelt at the edge of the sand and bowed.  Coco fought back an urge to grimace, and was mostly successful.

“Sit up, Atsuko Watanabe,” Coco said in a half-assed formal tone.  “We have, like, much to discuss.”

Straightening her back, Watanabe said, “You honor me with your presence, Composer.  How may your humble servant carry out your will?”

Coco shifted in her seat.  Even now, she still wasn’t entirely sure how to begin.  “Well, uh…we got a thing we need to do…and this thing is, like, about Shinjuku’s future and stuff, so, um…”

A smile slowly crossed Watanabe’s face.  Her eyes twinkled as she asked, “Do you mean a Game?  Are we finally going to hold another Game?”

“Uuuuuh that was the plan, but—“

Watanabe brought her hands together.  “Wonderful!  It’s been so long since we’ve held a Game, we’ve built up such a stable of Players we need to test!”

“H-Hey, hold up gurl…” Coco said, reaching out reluctantly.

“I have already selected a Game Master I believe would be ideal, they need only your approval and we can begin immediately.  Of course, this is but a humble suggestion, my lady: we shall proceed in whatever way you deem best.  Oh, this is so exciting!  I can hardly wait!”  Watanabe closed her eyes and giggled, trying to sit still but bouncing just a bit.  Coco scratched her head as a wave of intense guilt washed over her.

“Big yikes…” she said.  “Um, Watanabe—“

“Yes, my lady?”

“I was saying, like, I was going to hold a Game, but…unfortunately, um, planz have changed.”

Coco could see the enthusiasm drain out of Watanabe.  In mere seconds, her cheery demeanor was entirely gone, leaving her with nothing but a hollow, dejected expression that made her look ten years older.  “…Oh.  I see.”

“Listen, I’m sorry it be like that.  Like, I know you really want a Game, and we’ll have one soon, I totez promise!  v soon.  But first, we got something else super urgent we need to deal with—it literally can’t wait, which is the only reason why I’m putting off the Game.”

Watanabe just stared down at the sand in silence.

Hesitantly, Coco asked, “…Um, Watanabe?  u good?”

“Composer…” Watanabe said quietly.  “Forgive me, but…I believe my patience has reached its limit.”

“Watanabe, listen up, this—“

“Years.  It has been years since the last time a Game was held in Shinjuku!  The Reapers need points to survive, my lady, and several of the rank and file are nearly out!  They are in very real danger of fading away forever!  And as if that weren’t bad enough, this…this entire situation could have so easily been avoided!”

Feeling just a little annoyed, Coco leaned forward and said, “I already told you, like, we’ll have one soon, nbd.”

“It’s a very big deal!” Watanabe shouted.  “At this point your men are so desperate that when we do hold a Game, the competition amongst them will be atrocious!  They won’t know when to expect another chance to earn points, so they’ll collect as many as they possibly can, hoarding them all for themselves, leaving few to none for the inexperienced to survive on!  We may have garnered an exorbitant amount of Players, but at this point I fear it still won’t be enough to go around!  And now you’re saying we need to wait even longer?!”

“Chill, fam!  You’re totez getting WAY ahead of yourself!”

“I have to think that far ahead, because you won’t spare so much as a single thought for your duties!”

Coco’s eyes widened, her veins freezing over.  “W…what did you just say about me?”

Watanabe stood up, aiming a sad glare at Coco.  “I’ve been running the UG on my own this entire time, because you won’t take your duties seriously.  You are meant to judge the worth of humanity, to learn what is necessary to guide them and us to a better future.  Does that simply not matter to you, Composer?”

Coco could hardly believe what she was hearing.  Standing, she said, “Like, of course it matters to me?  I heckin love Shinjuku!  Everything that I do is for the benefit of this city!  You sayin you for realz don’t know that, Watanabe?”

“It is hard for me to believe that, my lady.  You’ve excused yourself from your work for ages, and during all this time I’ve barely heard even a word from you!  Frankly…I feel I have no evidence to suggest that you truly care for this city, nor that you will ever behave responsibly in regards to your duty regarding it.”

“That’s a hot load of…”  Coco stopped, putting a hand to her forehead with a short huff.  “…Whatevs.  You don’t know what I’ve been doing, I never told you, so I guess I can’t totally blame you for thinking that.  But like, the reason I asked you here was cuz I’m gonna tell you what I’ve been doing, and what comes next in my keikaku.”

Watanabe waited expectantly.  Coco took a deep breath, hoping she would be able to find the words she needed.

“So tbh…I’ve been working on a Noise.  A super duper powerful Noise called a ‘Magnum Opus’, which contains, like, its own plane of existence inside of it.  I gotta strengthen it, and because it’s so complex, it’s taken a long time to get that done.  Like, a loooong time.  But it’s totez gonna be worth it!”

Watanabe furrowed her brow.  “This whole time, you’ve been making a Noise?  A single Noise?  What made you think such a thing was necessary?”

“Well…I had a vision,” Coco said.

“A vision?”

“Yeah!  I saw Shinjuku get entirely wiped out, so like, obv I had to do everything I could to stop that from happening!”

“…I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“Well the…the way it happened…”  Coco’s words ground to a halt.  She couldn’t explain an Inversion without explaining the Inferno, and she couldn’t explain the Inferno without explaining the Higher Plane, and that was something she had been strictly forbidden from revealing to her subordinates.  “Um…see, the guyz who did Teh Thing were, like, suuuuper powerful.  I knew I was totez gonna need a heavy hitter to take ‘em down!  So, Magnum Opus Noise!”

Watanabe took a few seconds to reflect on this explanation, finally saying, “I suppose that makes some sense.”

“Great!  Glad we’re, like, on the same page!”

“Wait a moment, my lady, I still have questions.  I have never heard of this Magnum Opus Noise—where did you learn of it?”

“It’s, uh, top secret Composer stuff.  Sorry, can’t share those deetz.”

“Alright then.  In that case, did your vision also come from your Composer powers?”

Coco shook her head.  “Nah…my Composer-ness does give me sum omniscience and stuff, but this was different.  Normal Composer Vision is, like, whambalam, and KABAM, yeah, that seems right, I can feel it in my kokoro.  But this vision was totez creepy af, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Watanabe paused a moment.  “My lady…if you’ve never seen anything like this vision, then why are you so sure it is reliable?”

Coco blinked.  “…Um…”

Watanabe stepped forward.  “If this has nothing to do with your Composer abilities, then what guarantee is there that these events will come to pass?  Why would you be so certain of it that you would give up everything else just to prepare for something that may never occur?”

“It…well…”  Coco looked down, her cheeks starting to burn as she fumbled for a response.  She raised her fist towards her chin and turned slightly.  “Something about it, just…terrified me, Watanabe.  I’ve never felt horror like that, so…I mean, I had to do something.”

Watanabe took another step.  “And merely because it scared you, you abandoned all of us?!”

Coco backed up to the edge of her stone.  Watanabe lowered her gaze, realizing that her foot had landed on the sand.  Turning abruptly, she covered her face with her hand and sighed, while Coco just stared at her back.

“…Watanabe…please,” she said.  “I need your help to keep Shinjuku safe.  Can I count on you?”

Watanabe looked over her shoulder.  “…I am sorry, Composer.  But I do not believe in this cause of yours.  Go and do what you must…but in the meantime, I am going to see to my duties and conduct a Game.  Shinjuku cannot be asked to wait for us any longer.”

Coco lowered her arm.  Trying as hard as she could to smile, she said, “Understandable, have a nice day.”

Watanabe walked out.  Coco dropped down and pulled her hood over her eyes, shutting them tight to keep her tears from falling.  When she eventually opened them again, the room was much darker—something had covered up the skylight, she realized.  It was then she noticed Rōjin standing at the edge of the sand.

“…Like, I knew she was gonna be annoyed,” Coco said, “but I didn’t think she’d get so pissed off.  tbh I wasn’t prepared to see her like that.  I’m…kinda shook.”

She let out a ragged sigh.

“I legit wanted her help.  If I can’t count on Watanabe, then like, none of my Officers are gonna help.  Now Tapez and I are probs gonna have to fight the Inferno on our own.”

Hopefully, she glanced up at Rōjin.  He shook his head.

“…Right.  Your hands are still tied, I guess.  The Higher Plane won’t do anything until it’s already too late.  But damn Kiryu and his Producer get off totally clean after trying to sink their city…but, that’s none of my business.”

She got to her feet and looked her Producer in the eye.

“Rōjin…I totez appreciate all you’ve done for me.  You’ve been a real bro, taking me srsly and helping out however you can.  I know I sorta take you for granted, but like, I really am gr8ful for everything.  Just wanna let u know.”

Rōjin nodded.  Coco glanced at the sand hesitantly, and then shrugged, walking right across it.

“Guess I’ll just go back to what I was doing.  If you can, plz keep an eye out while Watanabe runs her Game—I don’t know fo sho how much time we got until the Inferno makes a move.”

As she approached, Rōjin held on arm out to stop her.  She faced him with a confused expression.

“I will advocate for you,” the Producer said.

“…wat?” Coco said.  “Wait, you mean right now, you’re going up?”

Rōjin nodded.

“I…I mean thnx, that’s really generous, but u sure?  They’re getting the Game they asked 4, that should make them happy, yeah?”

“A Game run by the Conductor.  They will demand an explanation.  Anticipating this will look better, and allow me a chance to sway them.”

Coco stepped towards him.  “Rōjin, don’t put a target on your back!  The Higher Plane has, like, already been clear about how they want to deal with the Inferno, there’s no way we’re gonna be able to change that.  Even if we tell em Shinjuku will be wiped out if they don’t do sumthin, they’re totez just gonna say ‘then perish’.  I can handle this!  I mean, I know I was just lowkey freaking out, but real talk, I can—“

Rōjin turned and began to leave.

“Hey, hold up!”

He paused.  Coco fidgeted.

“…I just…I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.  Like, I know I’m a crappy Composer, and I’ve already caused you nothing but grief with the crew upstairs.  If you push em any further…”

Rōjin faced her, and to Coco’s surprise, he was smiling.  “Don’t be afraid.”

Coco couldn’t think of a reply.  Rōjin turned back around and went through the gate, leaving Coco alone.  It took some time, but eventually she was able to calm down.

Tapez’s next meal might be the last one he gets before the baddle beginz.  I need to, like, figure out how to make his power maximum with just one more boost.

Slowly, she turned her head.

…The OG strat was that, at the last second, I’d go for that pair.  And like, they’d totez gimme dat boost.  But now that Kiryu’s onto me, and it’s obv just how, uh, strained my relationship with the Higher Plane is…not convinced that’s the best play I can make rn.

Coco paced across the room as she weighed her options.  As she did, she began to feel a sharp pain in her head, and her entire body tensed.

A…again?

The pain began to spread.

No, no not another one, not already, not now!

Her vision went out all at once.  When it returned, she was looking through that same unsettling filter, only now she saw not Shinjuku, but Shibuya.  She saw Neku, the boy slowly falling over as his body went limp and lifeless.  And in front of him, she saw Joshua, pointing a gun at him with a look of malice as an unfamiliar voice echoed in her mind.

“Hello?  Is anybody there?”

The Room of Reckoning came back, and it was perhaps the only time in her life Coco had ever been glad to see it.  She clutched her head tightly in both hands, staring wide-eyed at the floor, and worked to decipher what she had just seen.

“This one…was different…Kiryu shot him?  Why would he do that?  I mean, he did it before…is this from the past?  Or is he going to do it again?”

Coco thought back to her last conversation with Shibuya’s Composer.  She remembered his parting threat.

“…Would he really…kill Neku…just to stop me from using him?”

She couldn’t know for sure.  But, it wasn’t something she would put past him.  And assuming this latest vision wasn’t a look back into the past, that meant the Neku of the world she lived in might only be around for a limited time.

“If I dun act now, I might miss my chance.”

She weighed her options again, but this information was more than enough to tilt the scales.  Clenching her fists, Coco glared in the direction of Shibuya.

“I gotta do it to ‘em.  I ain’t afraid of Kiryu!  He can try whatev he wants, but I’m totez gonna come out on top!  After this, Tapez will be unbeatable!”

***

In this long dream, can you find me?

Want you to call my name

In this hazard, chance of survival?

I need to be with you

***

Coco stood alone on the empty streets of Shinjuku.  One hand was pressed firmly against her bleeding shoulder, and the other was clamped tight around a pin emblazoned with a symbol resembling the Dissonance Tapir’s eye.  She stood there, shaking, trying her best to cling onto her composure, but it was too much for her.  Coco threw her head back and wailed into the sky.

She had sought out Neku and Beat, drawn them into the pseudo-parallel world contained within the tapir, and done her best to coax them into making their way to the outskirts of “Shibuya”.  She was almost successful.  However, Shibuya’s Producer had interfered, using some unknown technique to take control of the replica of himself within her illusion and informing the Players of where they really were.  With the easy way no longer an option, Coco had ordered the tapir to attack, but somehow, they had found a way to erase it.

Dropping to her knees, Coco cradled the pin in both hands, barely able to see it through the tears pouring from her eyes.  As she was, she didn’t even have the strength to summon the tapir from it.  Her Magnum Opus was in there, she could sense its consciousness, but it was incredibly faint.

“Dammit…damn you, Kiryu…”

In her panic upon losing the tapir, Coco had ended up shooting Neku, but Joshua had appeared and wounded her as she retreated.  She had been just on the border of Shinjuku when the Inversion occurred.  And despite all her preparations, all her determination, Coco could do nothing but watch as her entire city vanished right before her eyes.

“Why Shinjuku?  Of all the UGs, why mine?!  Why…why…”

Not a single person remained on the once-bustling roads.  The tapir was out of commission, Watanabe was likely erased, and Rōjin wasn’t returning her calls.  Coco was alone with nothing to fight for, much less anything to fight with.

“…No…”

She punched the pavement.  With teeth clenched, she glared upward.

“If Shinjuku’s gone…then I’m gonna make the Inferno pay for taking it!  I’ll play their stupid Game, and I’ll win—whatever it takes!”

Taking one last look at the pin, she carefully placed it in her pocket.  She ripped off the end of her sleeve and wrapped it around her wound, and after making sure it was tight enough, she got to her feet and wiped her tears.

“Guess that puts me at square one.  Tapez can still make some contributions, but I’m not gonna have time to beef him up like I did before.  So I’mma need a new heavy hitter…”

Coco gazed at Shibuya once more.

“He’s totez not gonna want to help me…but like, he’s not getting a choice!”

***

Feel the people, hear the voices

They are reaching out to catch you

Feel the rhythms, hear the noises

You are beating all the visions

***

“…How fortunate she managed to escape erasure.”

Coco kept her eyes down as she walked.  She adjusted her hood, keeping the pin hooked to the inside of it next to her ear.

“Clearly she’s something special,” she heard Hanekoma say.  “And let’s not forget our little Reaper friend.  We’ve got some crazy cats headed our way.”

“Which makes this the calm before the storm.”  Coco scowled at Joshua’s voice.  “There’s no telling what will become of Shibuya…but I suppose that’s THEIR problem now, not ours.”

She rolled her eyes, mumbling, “That’s, like, exactly what I’d expect from you.”

“What about Neku?”

Coco stopped mid-step.

“He served his purpose,” Joshua said, “but I don’t need him anymore.”

She pulled out the pin, saying, “Hmph.  Speak for yourself, nerd.  The Game, like, literally can’t go on without Neku…like, maybe you don’t need him, but I totez do!”

At this point, he was her best bet.  If Neku, with help, was able to defeat the Dissonance Tapir after all the work she had put into it, then that made him the deadliest weapon available to her.  She had hoped Joshua would put him into play, but that was a problem she could easily circumvent.  However, that wasn’t the only problem this new plan faced.  Coco eyed the alleyway just ahead.

“If he’s, like, even gonna stand a chance…he’s totez gonna need a zetta strong partner!”

She entered the alleyway to find an elaborate pattern painted onto the sidewalk.  Immediately, she recognized it as a Taboo Noise refinery sigil.  For just a moment, Coco hesitated, wondering if this was really the person she wanted to recruit.  She couldn’t help but be curious about the girl from the vision—the one who supposedly escaped the Inversion unharmed—but she wasn’t sure exactly where she was, or if she could fight.  Coco had to make the most of what was available to her.  She had accepted that.

“If those goons are so thirsty for a fight…” Coco said, reaching out with both hands.  “Then they can, like, come here and get rekt like the noobs they are!”

She activated the sigil.  It lit up with bright light, but only for a few seconds before going out in a brilliant flash.  Coco waved away the smell of smoke as she gazed upon the man who now sat at the center of the design.

He had a mess of medium dark hair, and brown skin that turned to the pitch black shade of Taboo Noise over his hands and forearms, with an intricate emblem decorating his torso.  The black shirt and jeans he wore were badly torn, but the silver on his necklace and belt buckle gleamed as if brand new.  Slowly, he rose to his feet.  He looked down at himself and smirked in approval.

“Seems somebody forgot to carry the one,” he said.  “Not that I’m complaining!  They say the third time’s the charm, and I’ve always had a soft spot for cubic roots!”

Coco watched as he just threw his arms apart and laughed.  The power he possessed was incredible, nearly overwhelming her senses as she tried to gauge it.  Finally, he turned to her, and she snapped out of her trance.

“So tell me…how exactly do you factor into this equation?”

“…I just, like, need to know one (1) thing,” Coco asked.  “How’d you like to take down someone even stronger than a Composer?”

The man leaned in close.  “Hm…easier in theory than in practice.”

“Tru…but I have a plan that will totez make it possible tho.”

“Hah!  And what proof validates that operation?”

Pointing down, Coco said, “Like, I brought you back, yeah?  How many people can do that?  Doesn’t that get your attention?”

He looked at the sigil, then back to Coco.  Backing up a bit, he said, “Huh…you did this all with a single variable?  That’s worth adjusting an estimation for…”

“So like, whaddaya say, bro Minamimoto?  Come hear me out.  I totez promise you won’t be disappointed.”

Minamimoto thought for a moment.  Then, with a chuckle, he said, “It’d be zetta dumb to cancel out a set like that.  Tell you want, decimal point: I’ll see where this line you’ve plotted goes.  Just make sure the solution is as good as you’ve promised!”

Coco grinned.  Turning aside for the moment, she rubbed the Tapir pin in her pocket, and said to herself, “There’s, like, no way we’re gonna lose!”

***

Is it angels?  Is it devils?

Whispering in my ears

Is it emotions?  Is it illusions?

I need to be with you

[asexual--junpei]

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada. ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You are about to get spammed with 600 dank memes. Prepare all nukes and weapons for the Great Spam War. If you can contain the amount of spam I have, you will be granted with special powers that allow you to smoke weed 200 times harder. Not only that, but you will have a laggy as fuck laptop. You know how lucky you are?????? My laptop runs at 669FPS and it never lags or is slow. YOU LUCKY SON OF A GUN. You will pay the price by me giving you a link (Which shall contain a download) which will wipe all your memory off the face of this universe and overwrite it with my own software, Memesoftlocker2.0000.0. You are so damn lucky you know that? NOT EVEN I HAVE IT SLUT. But if you were able to read up to this point congratulations, you suck. But click this link www.mymom.;;;;;;/eeeeeeee.crash; and you will be taken to a memory erase phrase. You lucky slut, but you will get the best computer software ever that makes your computer lag so bad that you can't even use it. LIKE HOW AMAZING??? Yes, I promise you this is 420% legit. But if you spread this abusive software you have EARNED I will suck you off this living universe so be careful buddy. Now, Please stop reading this message as it ends now...

Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life. It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit. You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay. Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

ifuckinglovecock2@hotmail.net

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ ＲＴＺ， Ｉ’Ｍ ＴＲＹＩＮＧ ＴＯ ＬＥＡＲＮ ＴＯ ＰＬＡＹ ＲＩＫＩ． Ｉ ＪＵＳＴ ＨＡＶＥ Ａ ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ ＡＢＯＵＴ ＴＨＥ ＳＫＩＬＬ ＢＵＩＬＤ： ＳＨＯＵＬＤ Ｉ ＭＡＸ ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ ＥＧ， ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ ＳＯ ＴＨＥＹ ＭＩＳＳ ＭＥ ＬＩＫＥ ＥＧ ＭＩＳＳ ＹＯＵ ７０％ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＴＩＭＥ， ＯＲ ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ ＳＯ Ｉ ＣＯＵＬＤ ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ ＦＲＯＭ ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄

░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌

░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█

░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌

░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄

░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄

░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄

░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄

░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄

░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄

░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Thats so cool! You should write a book or do a screen play

- mod santa

[lincolnbrendt]

self para || mad world

Day 1:

“It’s only the first day, Linc, it’s totally normal for her to stay out.” Daisy’s voice was always so well controlled that he didn’t know if she believed the words she was saying. She probably didn’t, he told himself. “You know she’s been through a lot. She just needs a break.”

Lincoln nodded silently as he watched the redheads fingers move nimbly through Mallory’s blonde hair, twirling them into two plaits. He must have zoned out when they’d cleaned the blood out of it. That made it easier for him to breathe every time he looked at her.

Daisy left, not trying to say anything further to Lincoln. A gesture he appreciated because he didn’t know if he remembered how to speak anymore. Lucy came out from behind the curtain as Adam’s mother’s voice was heard in the distance. His sister might have said something to him, but he couldn’t tell. The woman he’d come to know as Nicole held out a black coffee from the machine for Lincoln.

“You seem to need it,” she spoke in a gentle voice, smiling at Lucy who thanked her on Lincoln’s behalf. Lincoln wondered wryly how much the woman would smile if she knew she was in the same room as her future grandchild with absolutely no clue. “And Ms. Brendt, dear, I do hope you and your baby are doing well. I can’t imagine what you went through.”

If he’d had any energy, he would have nearly scoffed.

The woman and her husband disappeared to talk to their son and his jaw tightened as he heard Adam’s voice. It was a selfish thought of him to have, but he thought he might have swapped Mallory’s place with his in a heartbeat. After the idea passed his mind he began tugging at his own hair, hating himself for being so selfish but he couldn’t help it he couldn’t help it he didn’t mean to think that.

“Hey, Lincoln, hey come on stop, hey stop doing that.” It was Lucy’s voice that broke through the waves of guilt he felt, bringing him back to reality.

“No no no no I thought something bad I thought a bad thing.”

“What bad thing Lincoln? Lincoln what bad thing?”

And just like that, he snapped out of it, making himself take a deep breath.

“Never mind. I just… I d-do-d-don’t r-r-rem-member.” A lie, but one that was for the best. The concern on Lucy’s face became more prevalent than before, and Lincoln forced a smile. “I-I’m go-g-gonna go get s-some foo-f-food. I’ll be back soon.”

Day 3:

It had been far too long since Lincoln had shaved or showered or done anything to take care of himself. He couldn’t do anything but sit there, wasting away in the chair as he watched the line on Mallory’s heart monitor go up and down. Empty coffee cups sat on the desk behind him, broken poems scribbled on the side as he’d always done for Mallory before.

It was only day 3.

People were still telling him to hold onto hope. That this was nothing out of the ordinary.

He wondered if they understood that the only reason he survived the weeks without her before was by knowing she was a phone call away and knowing that once he was brave enough to face her and his mistake they would be fine.

He wondered if they understood that the labyrinth his mind had become over the years was unnavigable without the light she provided with her heartbeat.

He wondered if they understood that every day she stayed asleep, his sanity fled deeper and deeper into that labyrinth.

Day 5:

Sleep was no longer a concept Lincoln really remembered. He was downing a large coffee at least four times a day and even if he hadn’t been chugging so much espresso his mind wouldn’t have shut off long enough to allow him a rest more than the occasional hour long naps when he found himself bogged down by a vivid nightmare over and over again. Mallory, bloody and dead in his arms.

His knees were tucked up against his chest as he sat near her bed now. He was trying to read aloud from the book of his poetry he’d roughly constructed but the words and letters were floating around on the page as he tried.

In the distance - or perhaps right next to him he no longer cared enough to tell - he heard a nurse discussing his own health with someone who sounded like Logan. Then again it could have been Lucy or Daisy or anyone who wasn’t Mallory because Mallory couldn’t speak.

“We’re concerned that his lack of sleep combined with his autism and OCD could lead to… some sort of mental episode. What we can do is provide him with some sleeping medicine if you would authorize that, to just get him to rest. If he continues this way I… just don’t know.”

“It’s fine. I’ll sign off on it, but good luck selling him on it.”

Lincoln did not go down without a fight.

“Wake me up if she does,” he said weakly as his eyes fought off the darkness that encompassed him, only having been swayed after being told he could end up hurting himself or someone else if he kept on acting like this.

Day 6:

When he woke up he was in a stranger’s room, it was empty, dark and quiet. Looking down at his arm in the dimly lit room he saw wires and tubes connected to it and couldn’t contain the gag working its way up his throat.

“N-Nu-Nurse! Nurse!” He began yelling and not long after, a short man dressed in scrubs entered the room.

“Mr. Brendt, how are you fee-“

“Unho-Unhook m-me from th-this machi-m-machine,” Lincoln spoke impatiently.

“Oh I’ll have to make sure you’re well enough to-“

“If y-you don’t I w-will,” he threatened, holding his hand over the tubes which caused the nurse to come over quickly and begin unhooking him, bandaging the small patch where his incision was. With shaky legs, he stood up and left the room. He sighed in relief realizing he was just across the hall from Mallory, walking the short distance with legs that seemed to forget how to move.

Regardless, he found his seat left exactly where it had been when he left, and his coffee cups untouched in their stacks of five because five was a good number five made good things happen. Tapping his finger against his knee repeatedly he counted them out.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Day 9:

Lincoln was laying in a bed, prepped for surgery after having kissed all of his sisters on the top of the head and waving a goodbye before he walked into the prep room.

“You’ll have to lay down for at least two days. And then for about four weeks, maybe six, you’ll need to take all physical activity to a minimum, no lifting more than 10 to 15 pounds, we don’t suggest intercourse during the recovery time, all around you’ll have to be careful standing long periods of time and take care of yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Abs-Absolutely.”

“I know there aren’t a lot of other options but I don’t want you to do this and regr-“

“Just take me back.”

“There’s a chance we may still lose h-“

“TAKE ME BACK!” Lincoln shouted. He was uninterested in hearing anyone talk about possibly losing Mallory.

“Okay…” The doctor still sounded hesitant, but the nurse who was pushing his bed had been there when Mallory’s kidneys began to fail. So had Lincoln. Within hours and a few tests that showed he was, remarkably, a match, the boy was in a hospital bed being rolled into surgery.

As he was pushed into the sterile, cold procedure room, he rolled his head to the side to see Mallory’s pretty blonde hair.

“Abou-out t-time I paid you back f-for saving me,” he whispered before they turned his head back upwards and placed a mask over his face.

“Okay dear, just count back from 10,” said a nice woman just behind his head.

He didn’t even make it to 8.

Day 11:

Lincoln could walk again, but instead he sat next to Mallory’s bed right where he always did. He thought he remembered Jean and Eddie thanking him over and over for what he did. He also thought it was silly for anyone to think he wouldn’t have given up both of his lungs and heart and liver and everything he had to give if it meant she would be brought back into the world.

He didn’t remember what being a person felt like anymore. He didn’t remember any sensations other than fear and panic and anger and exhaustion. He didn’t remember having any intentions other than to keep fighting while the love of his life did the same.

His sleep came in waves that day, brought on by the pain meds he still took every few hours. Between the periods of darkness when his mind finally escaped reality, Lincoln wrote poems upon poems upon poems. Desperate for the right words that might bring her back.

“Y-You just keep… k-ke-keep r-resting, L-Lov-Love. B-But pl-please come b-bac-back… I-I-I n-nee-need you…”

Sleep took him away again, unwanted but still appreciated, and in his dreams that night there was nothing. Emptiness, surrounded by nothing but pitch black. It was a welcome escape from the fear and sadness that had wracked his body every waking minute.

Day 12:

A man came in holding a bible.

Lincoln to the side, slightly numb to the whole experience but he was aware of what was happening. They were blessing Mallory, so if she did die, she would go to heaven. It caused his stomach to lurch, the idea that people were making preparations in the case of her death.

Lincoln had arrangements of his own, but he didn’t want to share those plans with anyone else.

“F-Father?” Lincoln has found himself following the man out of the room, limping slightly. “C-Can I as-ask you s-someth-something?”

The man turned around and faced Lincoln with a smile.

“Of course, how can I help you?”

“W-Well I-I um… so-s-so I’m n-not a v-ver-very re-r-relig-ligious p-perso-person, I don’t kn-know how it w-work-works ex-exactly but cou-c-could you t-tell G-Go-G-God s-someth-something for m-me?”

The man’s expression was patient as he nodded.

”What is it, Son?”

”I-I w-wan-wanted… I’ve w-wanted a f-fam-famil-mily my… who-whole l-life… b-but if…if-if Mal-M-Mallory c-c-co-comes-s b-back I will gi-g-give up my dr-drea-dream. He’ll n-nev-never h-hear me wi-w-wish for my own s-son or dau-d-daughter again. C-Coul-d y-you te-t-ell h-him that?”

The man’s face went from patient to devastated as Lincoln finished speaking.

”Oh, Dear boy, you poor thing…”

”I-I don’t want-t-t y-your pit-ty… Pl-Plea-ease j-just tell h-him?”

The man nodded, reaching out his hands to take Lincoln’s. Lincoln barely enjoyed physical contact from a stranger under normal circumstances and these circumstances were far from normal. So he flinched away, curling his hands into his chest. 

“I’ll tell him,” the man said, taking his own hands back. 

With a satisfied nod, Lincoln disappeared to return to Mallory’s bedside.

Day 14: 

Lincoln had to fight for the first time to keep Mallory on for just a couple more days. At that point, the only thing keeping her alive was the machine she was relying on for a heartbeat. 

 “P-Pl-Please-Please I-I’ll p-p-pa-pay f-fo-f-for-r it plea-p-p-p-pl-please ju-j-j-jus-j-just a c-cou-c-c-couple m-mo-m-more d-da-d-days!” 

His frantic voice swayed Mallory’s grandparents, agreeing to just a couple more days. Lincoln knew that in a couple more days if Mallory wasn’t awake he’d fight again and again until he had no fight left in him. Lincoln was stitching together the many loose pages on which he’d written countless poems during his time there. 

He figured that when she woke up she’d want to read them. It was a rare day for Lincoln, meaning it was one in which he was actually aware of the world beyond the four walls that boxed him into that room or beyond the line of vision between he and Mallory. 

Meaning when Mason Safaatauemana walked in with a pitiful look on his face, Lincoln had already lost patience for the boy who had found such disgusting delight in charming Mallory into a date ages ago. 

“Hey, man,” he started as he took a few steps towards Lincoln who, had he had even a drop less of self control in his body, may have growled at him. “I just wanted to swing by and say I was sorry, you know. For everything.” 

“L-Li-L-Like?” 

“Like... I wish I’d been able to do something to save her, or to stop it all, you know? I’m just-“ 

Rage bubbled in Lincoln’s head, boiling so loudly he was deaf to any other words Mason was saying. 

“A-Are you ki-k-Kidd-kidding?!” 

“What-“ 

“Are you KIDDING?!” Lincoln stood up now, putting a hand over his side with a groan. “You’re going to take this moment right here, this moment in which the love of my life is laying in bed because a deranged madman shot her and you’re going to turn it into a situation in which you could have been the hero of the cards had fallen right?!” 

“I’m sorry I-“ 

“You don’t get to be the hero in everyone’s story, Mason!! If anyone could have saved her it would have been ME!! There was nothing YOU of all people could do!” 

The sleepless nights that made days blend together like wet paint left him exhausted and had caught up to him, making this seem catastrophic. 

“I mean you, you just... you just run into people’s life and expect them to bend into whatever they need to be for you to fit with them. You never change to fit anyone! I changed to be your friend, to live with you, to get your stupid approval I change for EVERYONE I didn’t have to change for Mallory and you’re going to come in here saying you wish you’d been able to save her?!?” 

Lincoln shoved Mason’s shoulders, all of the anger he’d ever felt towards the redhead coming out as he continued shouting. 

“I mean seriously?! You ask her on a date just to try to fuck her and then you keep treating her and I like shit like we’re lesser than you because she didn’t want to fuck you and because I stutter and wasn’t one of your original friends!” Lincoln shoved him again and this time Mason held him back, keeping his hand on his shoulders to stop Lincoln from getting any closer. This only made Lincoln feel attacked and he swung, connecting his fist with Mason’s face. 

“Lincoln, Lincoln stop,” Mason pleaded, trying to keep him away while also trying to calm him down. “You don’t want to do this. You don’t want to start this right now.” 

“Stop telling me what I want to do! Nobody but me knows what I want to do!!!” 

By then Mason had gotten them out into the hallway, away from the medical equipment and away from Mallory. 

“I know what I want to do! You don’t and Lucy doesn’t and the nurses don’t! I don’t want to be here without Mallory don’t tell me what I want!” 

Another swing, another fist slamming into Mason’s face. The redhead clenched his jaw, clinging onto reality so he wouldn’t blackout. 

“Lincoln please, please I don’t want to blackout I could hurt you I could kill you!” 

At the thought of Mason killing him, Lincoln punched him again, harder than before and this time in the gut. 

“Then kill me! KILL ME!!!” Lincoln was screaming now, his voice shrill and drawing the attention of the other patients and some of the nurses. “Please, Mason if I’m your friend at all - if I’ve ever been your friend then kill me I don’t want to live without her I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t be me without her I would rather DIE!” 

Another punch, this time in the side and Mason finally shoved him away, backwards and into the arms of Hunter, who sighed and lined a syringe up against Lincoln’s neck. 

“Somebody please just kill me I don’t want to live without her please Mason, please please just do it promise me you’ll do it!” Even as he was stuck in the neck with medicine meant to sedate him, it took a few moments to work its way through his large body. “Mason I thought you were my friend please I just wanted you to kill me!” His words were sobs as his legs grew weak and Hunter enlisted Mason’s help in carrying him back into Mallory’s room. 

Adam was long gone by then, and they lifted him into the bed right next to Mallory. 

“Please,” his voice was a whimper as his eyes fought to remain open. “Someone just kill me...” 

Day 15 - Evening: 

Lincoln’s sanity was slipping again. After the breakdown the night before, it seemed to fall between his fingers like sand in a widespread hand. Slipping quickly, falling back towards the ground with nothing but gravity to stop it. He was sat in his chair when a nurse he didn’t recognize entered the room. She must have been new. That was okay, he told himself, Daisy wouldn’t let anyone but the best near his girl. He knew that much was true. 

Still, as she acknowledged his presence with a nod and wave before going about refilling Mallory’s IV, Lincoln couldn’t do anything but rock back and forth in his still chair. His arms hugging his own chest like that could keep him together as he rocked. 

“C-C-C’m-C’mon M-Ma-M-Mal-Mal... y-y-you don’t ha-h-have m-much time-ti-time l-lef-l-left... You nee-n-need to c-come ba-b-back to me...” He murmured over and over again as he stared at Mallory. The nurse looked at him with sadness in her eyes. 

“You been waiting a while for her?,” she asked kindly. Lincoln didn’t respond. “Well you know, Darling, she can feel your stress. You can’t put too much pressure on her.” 

It was as if someone had pressed the pause button on Lincoln’s life as the nurse spoke. He stopped rocking, stopped muttering things below his breath, stopped existing (at least it felt as if he had). He sat there unmoving as the nurse finished up. She bid him a good night that fell on deaf ears, as he held himself together desperately with his long arms. 

As soon as he heard the door shut with a click, Lincoln began pounding his fist against his head, punching himself in the forehead repeatedly until the pain became a dull reminder of how much he had fucked up. By the time a bruise had started blossoming on Lincoln’s face, he was screaming. No words came out exactly, he was screaming in fury and anger and hatred, angry at himself, furious at himself, hating himself. 

His screams reached frantic levels, the top of his lungs as he now began using both fists against himself. 

“It’s my fault it’s my fault it’s my fault!!!” He screamed, even as he heard the door be thrown open and Harley stood there with sadness in her eyes. “IT’S MY FAULT TOO MUCH PRESSURE TOO MUCH PRESSURE IT’S MY FAULT SHES GOING TO DIE TOO MUCH PRESSURE!” 

Blood began trickling out of his forehead now and Harley frantically begged Declan to come pull him away and make him stop. 

“OH MY GOD I KILLED HER ITS MY FAULT TOO MUCH PRESSURE TOO MUCH PRESSURE ITS MY FAULT!!!!” 

He was screaming so loudly now that his voice cracked and Declan entered the room, wrapping his large arms around Lincoln’s and prying his hands away from his head. 

“IT’S MY FAULT MY FAULT MY FAULT!!!!!!!” He was sobbing through his shouts now as Declan pulled him out of the room and Lincoln spotted the nurse who had said that. “SHE SAID IT WAS MY FAULT SHE SAID THERES TOO MUCH PRESSURE I JUST WANTED HER TO KNOW I BELIEVED IN HER BUT ITS MY FAULT ITS MY FAULT SHE WON’T WAKE UP AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!” 

The nurse looked devastated as blood continued spilling down Lincoln’s face. She couldn’t have known such a reaction would come out of such a mild mannered man. 

“I’m sorry I-“ She started.

“MY FAULT MY FAULT MY FAULT!!!!!” 

Eventually, Declan had wrestled him far enough away and locked him into a position which only exhausted Lincoln’s body if he tried to continue fighting. Instead of thrashing around anymore he became limp in the much bigger man’s arms and sobbed. 

“I just wanted her to know I believed she would come back she’s running out of time it’s all my fault...” 

Harley tried comforting him, using any words she thought may help but nothing changed how hard he cried. Not until he cried himself out in Harley’s arms (who had taken over once he’d stopped throwing his arms around). 

“I-I-I-I c-ca-c-can-can’t b-be ar-a-arou-a-around her anym-m-more.” 

“No Lincoln that’s not-“ 

“It’s m-my-my f-fau-f-fault I have t-to s-sta-s-stay away.” 

Nobody said anything else, letting him sit there and cry himself dry until he eventually decided he’d sleep in the waiting room. “I ha-h-have to stay aw-a-away...” 

Day 19: 

It was the end. No amount of fighting from Lincoln would change her grandparents minds anymore. Something about wanting to end the suffering she was going through and making sure she got into God’s Kingdom. It wasn’t an answer he was willing to accept but nothing was when it came to ending the life of the one person he had no intention on living without. They delivered the news as soon as he’d woken up that morning, wrapped in a bundle of blankets outside of Mallory’s room so his presence hold risk her recovery. 

All he remembered of his reaction was a scream so loud he no longer had a voice, only enough to croak out responses to people who spoke to him. He sat with his knees curled to his chest, tugging on his hair for hours as the world moved around him without him being present in it. People went in and out of Mallory’s room and Lincoln couldn’t do anything but watch their feet move past him.

Lily came up to him and sat beside him on the dirty ground. 

“Big brother, what’s wrong? Why is everyone crying?” 

Lincoln didn’t know if he was crying or not, his mind was desperate to shut down in order to protect itself. 

“Mallory’s going away, Lil,” Lincoln barely got out past the scratches in his throat. 

“Oh... Forever?” 

Lincoln nodded, letting out a sob into his fist as he did. Lily threw her arms around him.

“Hey, Mallory always said that when something sad happened, something good would come right after, right?” 

Another nod and another sob into his fist as he wrapped one arm around Lily. He didn’t want to give her up, he didn’t want to say goodbye to any of his sisters - in fact if anyone in the world would keep him there it would be them, but when he thought of a world without Mallory all he could see was himself wrapped up in a blanket on his mattress until he died of starvation or exposure or whatever it was people died from when they lay there unmoving for an endless amount of time, becoming nothing more than a vegetable, a burden on an already burdened family.

They sat there embracing until Eddie came over.

“Lincoln... If you... wanted to say goodbye.”

Goodbye.

The word washed over him like a tidal wave, pinning his body to the ground with some combination of horror and dread. Still, he stood up.

“H-He-Hey, go s-sit w-wi-with y-your si-s-sisters, L-Li-Lily, I’ll b-be out s-soo-s-soon.”

The young girl nodded, squeezing his waist before running off to sit with the other Brendt siblings. 

“Take as long as you need,” Eddie said, squeezing Lincoln’s hand. Lincoln nodded, going into the room and shutting it behind him. He took his spot in the chair that, at that point, had become molded to his shape. 

“I tried so hard, Baby,” he choked out through stutters and a hoarse voice, holding his hand tightly in his own. “I really tried so so so hard, I fought so hard to keep you here. I’m so sorry.” He was bawling almost immediately, barely able to get the words past his lips. “I just want you to be back here with me. I just want to hold you. I just want to kiss you and tell you how much I love you.”

His hands shook as he took the ring box out once more. “I know it’s probably selfish of me, to ask that you die with this on, but I don’t plan on being apart for long once you do, and I want you to have it in wherever there is after all of this.” 

He slid the ring on her finger and cried as he held it to his lips, pressing kisses against her cold skin, perfect even as she neared death. 

“Mallory I have so many things to thank you for and not enough time to say them all. Thank you for opening the door into my coffee shop that morning so long ago and walking into my life, thank you for changing the person I am, for making me a better - no the best version of myself. Thank you for holding my hand when it shakes and for finishing a game of mini golf with me when no one else ever has before. Thank you for sitting patiently with me as I try to spit out my order and for never being embarrassed by the person I am even though I’m embarrassed by the person I am. Thank you for being the one person in my life who knew how to fix all of the broken pieces of me, and thank you for not just knowing how to do it but for doing it. Thank you for loving a man who didn’t think of himself as worthy to be loved and thank you for kissing me even on the darkest days my mind had. Thank you for always seeing what was best for me and for doing it but mostly thank you for being the other part of me who I’ve been searching for for 22 years. For fitting every crooked edge and every shattered side I had. Thank you for completing me in a way I’ve never known.”

Tears were pouring down his cheeks as he pressed his lips against her forehead.

Once.

Twice.

A third, fourth and finally...

A fifth time.

“Please, Mallory, forgive me for what I am going to do when I leave this room. Find it in that beautiful soul to love me again even in death and to forgive me for being such a coward that I can’t live without you.” He was gripping her hand tightly now, sobbing into her hair. 

“Forgive me for not loving you for every moment I could have, and for taking for granted the love you gave me. I never will again. Forgive me for breaking your heart in a way I’ll never forgive myself for. Please, Mallory, when I see you again open your arms to me so that we can be together again.” 

As he squeezed her hand, he could swear she squeezed back but he knew that wasn’t possible - that such things only happened in dreams or movies or books. 

“This is not my goodbye, it isn’t,” he said adamantly. Tears fell onto Mallory’s porcelain face, dripping off of his cheeks. “I will see you again but in the meantime I love you I love you I love you.” He repeated the words over and over again, sobbing them out as he held her hand to his lips. 

He felt another squeeze, this time a bit more real. Maybe even a real one. 

“I love you I love you I love you,” he continued, his eyes trained on her face now, looking for any signs of movement. Her cheek twitched, as if she wanted to brush away one of the tears there on the skin. “Mallory?!” He reached out, wiping her face clear of his tears. Her lip moved now. He must be dreaming or dead already. There was no way this could be happening. “Mallory, Baby, Baby if you’re there I need you to do something baby, Mallory are you there?!” He watched as her eyelashes fluttered, as if they wanted to open. He let out a desperate sob, punched himself in the leg to see if he was awake. He was. “Mallory, Baby that’s it, that’s it please, Mal, please I just need to see your eyes.” 

He gripped her hand with nearly white knuckles, whispering please over and over to herself. Then, there they were. Her blue eyes blinking against the light of the room. Lincoln fell backwards, tripping over the chair and landing with a THUMP on his butt, he scrambled back up. 

“You did it, oh my god you did it you came back, Baby I knew you’d come back oh my god you’re so strong you’re so strong!” Lincoln was sobbing, kissing Mallory’s hand once more before rushing towards the hallway. Before he ran out, he took one last glance at Mallory. “I’ve missed your eyes,” he whispered before disappearing into the hall.

“Do-D-Doctors-s-s! Nur-N-Nu-Nurses! G-Go-G-God-d-d!!! Whoe-Wh-Whoever will li-l-liste-l-listen!!!” A crowd of people, most of them his friends and a few others were nurses and a doctor who’d run to see the commotion. “Sh-She’s ali-a-alive.” 

With those words, so much relief flooded through his body that he fell limp to the floor as cheers erupted around him and the doctor, along with the nurses, ran past him into Mallory’s room. He slipped into unconsciousness with the first genuine smile he’d had in 19 days.