#saw someone else post about the pipeline & like... yes

[sunnysaystuff]

i feel like prongsfoot shippers travel a very clear pipeline it's the "they were like brothers🤢🤮!" to the "they were like brothers❌️🚫🚫 nah they weren't" to the "oh yeah they were like brothers...😏😏😏..."

[alpaca-clouds]

About Blowing Up Pipelines

A while ago I saw a post about fossil fuels, under which someone posted: "What are you waiting for? Let's blow up the pipelines!" Which is very fair. But someone else came to post under it: "No! Think of the environmental harm! You need to go vote!"

And, let's be honest here: It is very likely that neither of them have actually read the book that the "blow up a pipeline" wording comes from. How to Blow up a Pipeline by Andreas Malm. Which in its core argues that sabotage is good, because voting doesn't do shit.

Now, don't get me wrong. There is a ton of important elections coming up - especially in the US, but soon in Germany as well. And you need to go vote to prevent another Trump presedency! However: There is nobody you can vote for, who will actually stop pipelines from being build, who will actually limit the size of cars folks drive, and who will actually put pressure on natural gas, coal and what not. Heck, even in the best case that on a local level there might be some who want to build out bike lanes and public transport... Those changes often take too long to bring them through during one term and if someone else is in charge next term, chances are, the projects will be cancelled.

So, basically what Malm argues in his book: Voting will not change those things, partly because of lobbyism. Protests will be ignored, partly because politicians care more about the lobbyists. Same goes with petitions. So, the usual ways that technically a democracy will leave for people to engage and influence politics do not work.

But, so Malm says, sabotage does.

Now, he does actually not directly argue for literally blowing up pipelines. But he is arguing for sabotage. He notes: "If just a few people with their keys run through a city during the night and scratch up all the SUVs, a lot fewer people will on the long term use SUVs." He even talks about something like this that he participated in in Sweden and what effects it had.

And yes, he does give ideas of how to deal with pipelines in ways that will do a lot of financial damage, which makes pipelines and hence fossil fuels a lot less attractive to energy providers. Because they are going to need to pay for all that damage.

Even with smaller sabotage... yes, there will be some environmental damage. But try to think of it this way: If enough folks do this, if there is enough damage done on the pipelines (and other forms of creating and transporting fossil fuels), then less of them will be build, will be used. And given that those pipelines and other fossil fuels will leak into the environment either way, and over time will do a lot more damage than a few cases of sabotage will do.

And I really gotta say: Yeah, no, I do agree with Malm. On all the fronts.

So, please... The book is actually super short. Just go an read it, alright?

[sorcerous-caress]

I was the anon that sent the Meluidil ask early today :D Thank you for the content!! I literally read through all the posts, sent your blog to a friend to yap about it, then we proceeded to yap about it at Chili's tonight LMAO

I don't send requests often on tumblr (hence the anon, I am a f r a i d) because I always am afraid of coming off as pushy-but I can promise you if you ever ramble about stupid loser high elf boy myself and the homies will 👁️👁️

I am curious though, how is learning other languages perceived in this world? I know it was mentioned in another post viewers of their porn asking him to teach reader dirty words in Elvish--would he? How would an elf normally view a human learning Elvish? Would it be seen as like 'the whore humans are insulting our language' or endearing?

Is it on duolingo? Imagine she leaves her phone for a moment, he sees the little pop up of a language learning app reminding her to do her five minutes of Elvish to keep her streak up.

Maybe she'd try to learn it in secret, then out of nowhere say something absolutely WILD to him in Elvish during sex. I feel like it could either be the sexiest thing he's ever heard, or she butchers it so badly he finds it adorable.

also I saw other people sign of anon asks with an emoji and i thought that was wholesome, so in honor of discussing elf sex at chili's with a triple dipper ill do one of these

-��️

The combination of that emoji and the great Meluidil discussion taking places at a chili's couldn't be any more perfect considering elves' love for spicy food, especially Meluidil.

"Is it on duolingo?" When I tell you I completely lost it. Just for a second I was fully immersed and living in a modern dnd world where learning how to cuss someone out in ancient elvish was a mere phone tap away.

Sadly, no, I don't think it's on fantasy duolingo. Not from lack of effort, believe me the shareholders pulled every string, but elves remain stubborn and have it taken down—especially the high elves are the most vocal about their distaste for their beloved language to be butchered by humans and else.

They're too proud to let learning elvish be easy or accessible, other species must "prove their worth" first before the elves would share their knowledge, and of course, what better way to learn elvish than start with the thickest of books filled to the brim with poetry, prose, and complicated euphemisms.

It's just that... the "dislike/disgust" to "fetishisation" pipeline in some of those elves is far too real, their reclusion is a double-edged sword because now, in the perspective of those lucky few, humans seem to be made for breeding, designed to entice and seduce them, otherwise how would you explain this deep seated attraction and frustration they feel towards your kind? What do you mean it might stem from envy at the freedom humanity tends to overindulge in? What nonsense. They're definitely not jealous of something like that so much that fucking you is the closest thing to freedom they'll ever taste.

Haha...

ha...

Either way, it's a self-fullfilling prophecy. Elves make it harder for others to assimilate into them, whenever someone—elf, human, or else—attempts to bridge the culture gap, it mostly ends in failure, elves really don't like sharing their knowledge, habits, or even language.

The viewers on the forums are another case, they're deliberately requesting that Meluidil makes you say words in elvish because of how sacrilegious it feels, wrapping around to being insanely hot.

Your best bet when it comes to learning elvish is either knowing an elf and harrassing them into teaching you, or browsing sketchy websites full of seedy ads about single hot succubuses near you, and hoping this one doesn't get taken down before the end of the week like all the others.

But you know what you'll find on duolingo? Infernal, oh yes. And it's just 10 straight courses full of misinformation and deliberate mistranslations. Honestly, demons can't believe that they haven't thought of this sooner. The number of overconfident mortals signing binding contracts with them skyrocketing ever since, now they only need to litter the words "duck" and "pineapple" across a contract for your average human to misread them as some get-out-of-jail-free card.

Now, back to our beloved loser elf. If his human was attempting to learn some elvish in secret, it really depends on how you go about it.

Maybe you catch on to some of the words Meluidil has a habit of saying? Elvish is very melodic in nature. It's hard not to be drawn to it, leading you to unconsciously eavesdrop on some of Meluidil's phone calls. Not understanding what he's saying, but finding correlations between certain phrases and subtle changes in his tone and demeanour.

You pick up on the word he hisses under his breath after stubbing his toe against the table's leg.

Then there are the words spoken through breathy whispers against your neck, repeated like a prayer as your insides squeeze around him, making him stutter halfway through his sentences.

It's different from the latin-like words magic tends to adapt. It sounds like the whole language is based on poetry.

Maybe picking up words that way will help make them sound more natural, you still butcher the pronunciation, but his reaction is more giddy and surprised than anything else.

But if you do take the risk and dive in head first into these shady "Elvish 101" online booklets...

There's no guarantee Meluidil won't rush out the room because he's trying so hard not to burst out laughing at what you just said, and he feels so guilty because oh you must have went to such length to learn it, but by Corellon it's the funniest thing he's heard in the past decade.

It's unbelievably endearing. He's getting cuteness aggression and has to cross his arms to restrain himself from hugging you to death because. You shouldn't push a man past his first century into having a heart attack like that.

In the end, no matter which method you start with, both routes lead to the same result of Meluidil offering to teach you some Elvish if you're that curious.

It's definitely not an excuse to uh roleplay teacher student... or maybe private tutor and—Okay he needs to go back on track before his mind wanders further.

He doesn't make a good teacher at all, the man is distracted very easily and suddenly this regal put-together elf is a blushing mess because when you leaned down to read something in the book he's showing you, he glimpsed inside your shirt.

Full grown ass man btw, same one who has slept with you countless times, same one who posted these videos on online human kink forums which he admins at, losing his marbles and melting into a puddle at the accidental flash of a small patch of skin below your collar, like he's a repressed victorian maiden.

Yeah... there's no sugar coating it. He's a terrible teacher when it comes to you. You'd tease him for being a massive down-bad simp, wasn't it for the fact he'd wear that title with pride.

Like oh, he's a simp? What gave you that idea, human? Was it his previous massive collection of first-copy human porn magazines?

Don't be absurd, he's not that massive of a simp. He just... stays in the same bed as you while you sleep despite the fact elves don't need to sleep because... uh, he's just enthusiastic about sleep? Yes, it has always fascinated him as a phenomenon.

No other reason.

-

Thank you so much for your kind words <3 your request cheered me up a lot, I genuinely missed talking about this eccentric high elf.

Hell, I reopened my requests just in case you ever wanted to send a second ask, and here you are!

I reassure you that you're not being pushy, I understand that it can feel scary to just burst in gun-blazing with your request/concept idea, especially since you said you don't send often.

But you're very welcome to, even if you send a bunch at once, I'll reply to the ones I find most interesting! Sometimes, a request doesn't get answered not because the author found it offensive, but because we can be at a genuine loss of ideas or how to approach this—How all Shadowheart prompts got squeezed dry out of me.

Yet the Meluidil tank is still half full, so feel free to drop unannounced whenever you have new ideas you'd like to share with the class about him.

Sometimes, life just gets in the way, I meant to reply to your ask sooner, but December seems to be a cursed month where irl problems are never in shortage-

Either way, I got unimaginably happy when you told me that you and your friend have been discussing my writing! And about one of my favourite og characters! and at chili's one of my fav restaurant!!!

I hope life is good to you, anon, do take care of yourself.

[koolades-world]

DAMN SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A DU TO OBEY ME PIPELINE. that fandom made me worse and i think it made my life go downhill (/hj). i was so mean like we weren't all children with unrestricted internet access idk why i thought it was that serious </3 (sorry i was reading ur blog and saw a post responding to someone and i went "wait i minute" and had a few flashbacks)

OMG HEYYYY (more ex fandom ranting under the cut!)

first, welcome!! so glad you found a better fandom to migrate to and that you aren't stuck in the past like some people i knew. you are all good, no need to apologize. it's so crazy to me that i've encountered not one, but two ex du fans out in the wild! i thought there were about fifteen of us total lol. i know that war flashback feeling. was digging through old screenshots for something the other day and i found my stash and had to take a moment. sorry if some of this makes no sense or has odd flow. i'm word vomiting and i'm pretty tired rn (in the middle of drinking a matcha, coffee, and monster all at the same time). college has been sucking the life out of me, but i just had to answer this immediately

yeah it was absolutely wild man. i don't think anyone except like a few people liked me because to this day i'm still only friends with two of them. the way i was absolutely witched hunted i tell you :sob: i 100% made more enemies than friends. even my readers were mean, and i just took it all for some reason? i've been on tumblr for about a year and half now, and i haven't had a single mean fan, but back in the day, i think i had more than i can count. yes i was on wattpad for longer, but considering the ratio, that's crazy. i have about 2.2k followers here (love all of you guys mwa mwa) and i have zero mean fans. on wattpad i think i have like 260 something, and the fact that i cant count the amount of mean fans i had is insane. if i didn't have those friends, i would be convinced it was a fever dream. if you were on wattpad at the time, you'd understand how jarring the swap from that fandom to this one would be. fanfics are allowed? still kinda crazy to me actually. can't believe being an author is welcome here! im part of a zine now!!! i didn't think that was every going to happen. have no clue how the hell this pipeline happened, but hey! at least there's two examples lol. like i said before, i honestly cannot tell if it made me better or worse, but i can for sure think of all the ways it made me worse! haha.

yeah we were all kids with unrestricted internet access everyone was like 10 to 14. i was 13 or 14 when i entered the fandom and that was old LOL. can't believe i was the responsible adult in the room at 14! my now best friend was like 11 or so at the time. maybe its the trauma bonding or something, but we're basically siblings now. we are inseparable, package deal if you will. if you remember chev, i am exactly one day older than him lol <3 my favorite running joke but it also shows my age. the swap to this fandom was so odd, because now i'm a baby compared to everyone else lol. i can't believe i'm no longer a mediator or anything. this fandom is pretty unproblematic and it's so so refreshing to just be able to exist

if you knew who i was back in the day and didn't hate me, feel free to reach out! if you didn't still feel free to reach out haha. even if you didn't know me, you probably knew my best friend whether you liked it or not haha. i understand if you don't want to, but if you ever want to chat, i totally wouldn't mind! feel free to send me a dm and i can give you my discord. would be nice to get another outside perspective. if not, again, totally fine! have a wonderful day and hope you're recovering well. you're a fighter and deserve the best! hugs and kisses :)

[maripoorsa]

Within this context I want to ask anyone who sees this reblog to ask themselves what some things are that they feel Very Strongly about.

What are some things that you think are unacceptable no matter what. Make a small list of them.

They could be kinks, the way people should act at movies, it could be about manners, even job etiquette, or more in line with the post: something you thing is immoral with no excuse for the behavior/act.

Now consider that you're wrong.

Because the things fascists make you think and the way they make you think them are tied to your own principles as OP outlined above. Im sure there are many things that you believe you are right about because to think otherwise would be immoral. Right?

Like sex scenes, certain kinks, and dark romance.

So now ask yourself how open you would be to hearing out the other side in good faith. Would you even be willing to listen?

Your ability to learn and hear new ideas is what ultimately will separate you from the fascists.

So how much would your own passion and desire to do the right thing stop you from considering the other side?

And if you can't see yourself being open to that sort of thing, then the fascist propaganda has worked.

Because guess who else isn't open to being wrong? Guess who else would rather shut down an argument, silence their opponents, and even harm people who don't believe the same things they do? Guess who else thinks that anyone who disagrees with them is a moral failure? Guess who else thinks they know better than everyone else and wouldn't entertain the idea that what they believe could be wrong?

Fascists, yes.

And then they use that logic to say "well if you don't believe x is wrong like me then you deserve y."

And there have been many, many people throughout history who saw their fascist governments hurting people and enabled it by saying things like, "well, if Those People didn't x then they wouldny be treated like y. They should just stop x behavior."

And you know what that does? Places all blame of fascism onto its victims while at the same time enforcing fascist norms onto society.

Fascists are masters of turning people against groups they see as unwanted for that very reason. They get the public to do most of the finger wagging then, once they manufactured enough supoort using propaganda, they start passing fascist law.

They tie Black people to crime, Trans people to perverts, Jewish ppl to greed, migrants to job theft, gays to godlessness, the disabled to bad dna, etc. All of these groups are blamed for the inequality of the True Countrymen.

So if you

Struggle to accept being wrong

Struggle to accept new ideas of right/wrong

Struggle to change your own idea of right/wrong

Struggle to accept when you're (part of) the problem

Have a tendency to blame cruelty on victims rather than it's perpetrators or enablers

Have a group of people you are disgusted by and would struggle to see in another light

Think people who are, in your opinion, living incorrectly or immorally deserve bad things to happen to them

You are traveling down a dangerous pipeline.

This is your sign to turn back.

Fascism rarely ever actually sneaks up on a government. As a few people above stated, they've been raising alarms for a while and were called every name in the book. I have too. So have a lot of people I know.

Think back to this last election, heated as it was. How often did you see people shut down criticisms of democrats? More specifically, how often did you see people justifying fascist acts and law in the name of their own security? How malicious did you see those people get? How often did they harass anyone who disagrees with them?

Do you know who else saw it? Do you know who else saw even the bluest of liberals justify genocide as long it kept them safe? Do you know who else saw them harass poc who wouldn't enthusiastically elect someone they saw as the Right choice?

Fascists.

it's true and you should say it.

[sokkascroptop]

Pls,,,,, the brother headcanons,,,,,,,, we crave your amazing writing -💜anon

ksajdfha;kdfj purple heart anon i haven't seen you in my ask box in so long my heart is racing

okay!!

- so three brothers, Ren (21), Haruki (18), and the unnamed little brothers from chapter two (5 or so).

and bc yes i'm this obsessive over my fic, i've created short descriptions of them as well:

- Ren is in the Fire Nation Army (per my Zuko drabble/prequel) and probably has been away from home since he was 18

- i think that he and Y/N probably frequently wrote letters to one another but haven't seen each other since he left home

- i hc that Y/N was closest with Ren, they just get on really well because he's very respectful of her as a person and treats her like the capable person that she is

- he's protective of her as well and i believe he was the only person to stand up for her when it came to her dad being mean

Ren is BIG, super tall, super built, would be absolutely terrifying if he was running at you even without firebending. He's a proficient firebender, relies on big moves/explosions, also know's how to use a sword, but not as well as Y/N

he's got a quiet and calm demeanor, but a big personality. very opposite to his outward appearance, and big himbo energy. He's really funny and you just can't not like him when you meet him.

definitely joined the Fire Nation army because he didn't know what else he could do in life, because he'd been raised like an American boy in public school, pipelined to the army.

someone one time, a long time ago, said that he dated one of Ty Lee's older sisters, and they break up but they get back together and he definitely marries her (ty lee loves the idea of being "sisters" with y/n)

- Haruki joined the Yuyan archers. He's a middle child and I hc him to be... very aggressive? with Y/N. he feels like he's constantly competing with her and Ren and he hates that they get along so well. he thinks that that is them ganging up on him or something

Haruki is like, a long, lithe, quiet looking dude. But he has the WORST temper out of the bunch. when he and Y/N are around each other–especially when they're younger–they WILL fight. I'm talking screaming matches that dissolve into physical beatdowns unless someone stops them. is this how Y/N learns to be a scrappy fighter? maybe ;)

like Y/N, he is ALSO on his dad's shit list because he joined the Yuyan archers instead of the Fire Nation army. He thought that by joining the Yuyan archers he'd be the favored son for once because they're an elite, special operations force of the Fire Nation but it did the complete opposite. basically, middle child? can't win. (also, i hc that the Yuyan archers are made up of nonbenders - or maybe that's canon i don't remember and so their dad thinks that is disgraceful for him to be one)

definitely is a great firebender, more precise than Ren but enjoyed learning archery, and that was definitely a factor in joining the Yuyan archers, while also trying to impress his dad

when he and Y/N get older though, i'm talking post war and after, he and Y/N have a better relationship because they now refuse to let their dad's influence fuel their petty rivalry. they still argue sometimes, but that's because they're both hot-heads

also lmao, idk why but he's definitely gay

- the unnamed little brother: i don't have much on him, tbh (i mean lmao he doesn't even have a name), mostly because Y/N didn't live with him for long and they only saw each other on important dates and holidays.

- like to think that he kind of has this obsession with Y/N though, like he hears stories about her from his mom and just finds her to be this mythical creature almost because "my sister is important enough to live at the palace?!!" and when she comes home from being with the gaang, he's like jumping in her arms (which probably freaks Y/N out a lot) and is all in her business trying to figure out where she was and what she did and overall is a really annoying little 5-year-old but honestly she finds it really endearing

- i also hc that he hangs out with her a lot more when she gets back and they become really close too, she's very over protective of him and when he's little she will give him piggyback rides all over the palace and take him to all the sweet shops in the city and buy him anything he wants

- he's like the sweetest little kid you'll ever meet because I fully believe that their dad wasn't around enough to corrupt him. plus their mom is more protective of him than she was of the others because he's the baby. so i don't think she would have let Y/N's dad be mean to him.

- edited to add: after the war, the three oldest siblings (and eventually Unnamed Brother joins them) establish an annual trip to their house on Ember Island, where they basically relive the best parts of their childhoods. They swim in the ocean and in hidden lagoons on the island in the morning before it gets too hot. they skimboard and do whatever the equivalent to surfing the atla universe has. they cut fruit for each other and gorge on it during the day as they doze on the porch. they train at dusk, playing the silly games they learned when they were really young (that taught them things like how to hone their firebending and sword training). every night for the week they’re there, they have a bonfire out on the beach where they sit around it and talk about their lives, they talk about stupid things they did as kids and they talk about their growing families and the frustrations of their jobs. they go to old spots they used to sneak away to when they were kids, places that haven’t been seen by a human in 12+ years. they play in tide pools and catch badgerfrogs and fireflies when it gets dark. basically they live their best years over again and again with no Father or Mother to reprimand them for wasting time or tracking mud in the house.

- of course during these week long trips, the gaang is always invited, and almost always they join for a few days or the whole week. and it’s fun for everyone, but all of them can tell that this is really for Y/N and her brothers. Unnamed Brother joins in the fun, but he can’t understand the lives the other three lived in the Before. He was born basically as they all left the nest and his life was vastly different. It’s really about them having the childhoods they missed out on for so many years.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

When a Grady Actor Confirmed TD and Other Reasons the Spoilers Don’t Spoil TD

Okay Everyone, I’m gonna cover a few of things today that I hope will help everyone to continue feeling at least somewhat better about the spoilers. 

***More spoilers below (same ones as yesterday, actually) but don’t read if you don’t want to know. You’ve been warned.***

1) Could the spoilers be fake?

I got plenty of messages and comments yesterday, too. Some of them claiming these spoilers aren’t even true and the person who spoiled them is a troll and unreliable. 

Now, before everyone starts messaging me and commenting about how you “know” these are true and the screeners are out, please note that I’m not making a claim either way. The account that spoiled this isn’t one who normally gets and reviews screeners, which means they could be false. That doesn’t mean that account didn’t get these from a reputable source, which means they could be true.

As I said yesterday, overall, I think they’re probably true. I think they were probably intentionally leaked to hype up the fandom and gauge our reactions. And I would rather you all make your peace with them being real rather than holding out hope that they’re totally false. But I think it��s worth reiterating that they haven’t been 100% confirmed, yet.

2) There’s a whole other person involved in this Leah arc that we don’t know about yet.

You know how yesterday I went on and on about how we don’t have anything near all the details of this arc? Well, someone pointed this out to me. Don’t feel bad if you totally missed it, because I did, too, and I haven’t seen anyone talking about it.

Look at the picture of Leah below carefully. Look at what’s behind her. If you look closely, there’s someone kneeling on the ground. They’ve got one knee resting on the floor, and the other one pointed toward the ceiling with their foot flat. You can see one shoulder to the left of Leah’s hip.

Spoilers make no mention of this person. We have no idea who they are or how they fit into the story.

This looks to me like it’s when she and Daryl first meet (hence, she doesn’t trust him and is holding him at gunpoint) and she seems to be protecting this person from him. Whoever it is, it probably has to do with why she’s out there to begin with, and will probably factor in how/why she disappears.

And I have no doubt that this shot is purposeful, guys. If they wanted us to know about this person directly, they would have given us a more obvious shot of them. And yet, they have put hints of the person in the shots they DID release. Isn’t that just like them?

But my point is, this is proof that there is a lot about this episode the spoilers are leaving out. So please keep that in mind.

3) When a Grady actor directly addressed TD.

So, for the past few days, as you can imagine I’ve been talking with and consoling people about these spoilers. I just keep going back to the stuff we KNOW. Like that there are missing scenes Emily was in from S5. Those have nothing to do with Leah and suggest Beth’s return. And if she’s returning, I promise you, Bethyl will be a thing.

The other thing I mentioned to people is when Jarod Thompson (guy that played one of the Grady cops) addressed TD directly. 

I quickly realized I needed to repost this because no one seemed to have any idea what I was talking about. Then it took me an hour to find it because I didn’t give it its own post when I first posted it. It was buried at the bottom of this Rick’s Fate post from S9 and not properly indexed. But I did finally locate it.

So, here’s the rundown. Right after the episode where Jadis took Rick away in the helicopter, Jarod Thompson tweeted this:

I’m pretty sure you can’t find this tweet anymore. It was taken down. But let me make a couple of points here. 

First, the obvious. TD has nothing to do with Leah. She wasn’t even on anyone’s radar back then. So what he’s telling us here has nothing to do with Leah. He’s basically telling us that Beth will return. 

Translation: Leah doesn’t matter. Beth is coming back. 

This is just one (of many) things that keeps me strong in TD. Because the actor actually confirmed this for us. And then it was quickly taken down, which is always suspicious to me. Why? Well, I’m sure some people will be quick to counter with the argument that maybe he was just trolling or making fun of us. But I don’t see that as a terribly logical argument. 

He’s never done it before or since. 

We have other evidence (HERE) of him working with Emily post-season 5, and possibly in the hospital setting. 

The timing is suspicious. This happened after Rick left. And I personally think that what he referred to here was the CRM. 9x05 was the first time they really came front and center, an active part of the story. So I think he was hinting that Beth is inside that organization as well and that now that the audience knows who they are, the stage is set and things are in motion for her return.

For the record, it was not long after this that we started getting the massing amount of Beth/Emily promotion on social media. 

Most importantly, his tweet was removed, probably by him at someone else’s request. Think about this really logically, guys. They don’t remove tweets about Caryl happening. They don’t remove teases about Daryl and Connie. They only remove suspicious posts that might tell us something about Beth’s return. There’s a reason for that. 

Furthermore, consider this. He’s kind of a small-time actor on the show. Of course I don’t mean that in a negative way. He’s fabulous. But I mean he’s not a main character on the show like Andy or Norman or Lauren. And HE knows all about TD, what we want, obviously what is going to happen, and which events in the show constitute room for us “to breathe.” 

So what does that tell you about other actors on the show, the writers, and any higher-ups connected to the show?

Yeah. Exactly.

Which leads me to my next order of business:

4) Kirkman’s Post/Poll

I think most people saw this last night, but if you didn’t , here it is. 

You can still vote HERE. I took the screenshot last night. I just checked again and the percentage has gone down a couple of points (still at 47%) with more than 9500 votes at this time. So the ‘bring Beth back’ option is still the runaway winner.

Here’s the thing. The timing on this is super-suspicious to me. When was the last time Kirkman tweeted something about Beth? I have no idea, and don’t care to go digging through his Twitter account to find out, but I promise you he hasn’t done it in a long time. He’s said things about her and Bethyl during interviews and such, of course, but he doesn’t just randomly tweet about her. Like...ever.

So you’re telling me that on day 2 after these spoilers leak, when the fandoms are loosing their collective minds, Kirkman just so happens to post this? No way. I don’t buy it.

Look, I know most of us don’t like Kirkman. And I’m not defending him. I don’t like him either. But after watching his interaction with tptb all these years, I have come to believe that they do use him. 

Gimple (and now Kang, I’m sure) are very careful about what they say. Guys, I’ve watched and analyzed this VERY closely over the years, which is why I always say that they never directly lie to us. Misdirection? Yes. Hyperbole? Of course. But they never look into the camera and tell us something blatantly untrue. 

I believe that’s because they don’t want the fans to be able to point at anything they say and accuse them of falsehood. That’s why they can’t ever say much, because it’s either give spoilers (which they won’t) or lie (which they also won’t). That’s why their answers are always so vague and general and very, very irritating. 

But Kirkman isn’t one of the showrunners. He’s connected to it, of course, and I think he knows a lot about what’s coming down the pipeline, but if he says something that’s untrue, tptb can simply shrug and say, “he’ doesn’t make executive story decisions.” Because of that, I believe they use him to sew discord and misdirection. 

And again, I’m not saying this isn’t troll-ish. I’m not saying I like this tactic or that it’s a good thing. I’m simply saying this is what they do. 

So when Kirkman says anything TD-related, I pay attention. Not because I think we should take it at face value, but because the timing, context, how he frames it, and what’s going on in the fandom at the time can tell us a lot about it and give us some clues. 

So, in this case, I think tptb are watching the fandom’s reactions to the spoilers and trying to do a little damage control. But here’s what really gets me: he only mentioned Beth, and specifically in the context of bringing her back. I mean, ALL the shipping fandoms are freaking out right now. All of them are hating these spoilers and losing their shit right now. But he ONLY mentions Beth.

I truly believe that this is tptb, through Kirkman, addressing TD specifically, and just kind of throwing us a bone. They’re not addressing the others because there isn’t any hope for those other ships. 

I know there will be people who disagree with him and think he’s just making fun of us. I understand why people think that. But guys, if that were the case, we’d see at least SOME comments about other characters or ships. There aren’t any. And hey, look through the comments on his tweet. There’s a ton of Beth support (which is why she won the poll) and a few haters, but there are also lots of people who are kind of mystified, saying things like, “How about bring back Glenn? Or Rick? Or Carl?”

See what I mean? 

5) The time Gimple Confirmed Something that was NOT Going to Happen on the Show

Okay, gonna end by reminding you of just one more thing. Just a couple of months ago, before the finale of The World Beyond, S1, one of the actors teased on TTD that we might see Rick in the finale. 

Now, that was totally false. The finale came and went with no Rick (obviously). The actor was just trolling and trying to get people riled up, which he succeeded at. A few days later, Gimple was giving an interview to a clickbait site and they asked him about it. Gimple started to give his run-of-the-mill, vague answer but stopped mid-sentence and said this:

ComicBook.com asked Gimple if World Beyond was working up to a Rick Grimes reveal. 

“You know what? I’m very happy to say… I’m not happy to say the answer,” he said, clearly aware he was about to disappoint people. “I’m happy to be definitive with people. It is not.”

That’s one, I don’t know if people are being cagey about that. But I feel that one’s important not to be cagey about…I think people could watch this show and learn a lot about the mythology that Rick Grimes is caught up in. And they might even see places where Rick Grimes has been. But yeah, he’s not swinging around the corner. And I don’t even know if I’m making people upset saying that, but I just don’t like people watching it, sort of expecting Rick.”

Full article HERE.

Guys, they’ve never done that with Beth and TD. EVER!!!

I’m just saying.

And I can already hear counter arguments about how they’ve never shut down other ships like C@ryl or Donnie either. You’re right, but those characters are still front and center on the show. If Beth is dead and not coming back, why wouldn’t they put her to rest for us the way he did with this Rick rumor? (And I’m also going to argue that they’ve given us very clear indications in the show about a few of these ships, and the shippers just don’t want to accept them. But that’s not entirely relevant here.)

Thoughts?

[themandadlorianbod]

60. Wear slippers?61. Wear a bath robe?62. What do you wear to bed?63. First concert?64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?65. Nike or Adidas?66. Cheetos Or Fritos?67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?69. Ever take dance lessons?70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

60. Wear slippers?

Sometimes, yes - definitely have been this week!

61. Wear a bath robe?

Not often. I used to occasionally, but then I started buying (lmao I posted without finish this initially...) really large bath towels so I was good haha.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Depends on when I take my shower...if it’s riiight before bed and it’s not super cold, nothing. Sometimes a little nightgown or sundress than has become a nightgown haha.

63. First concert?

Hilary Duff in Santa Cruz when I was like 12. I was kind of a hater, I thought Lizzie McGuire was annoying (I think I was just jealous of her cool hair. Mine was all limp and super dark brown so I couldn’t do fun colors lol). But it was a blast and we were at the very front, I touched her best friend’s hair 🤷🏻‍♀️ lol

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target for sure!! I go there regularly. I go to Walmart maybe once a year?? And they still have Kmarts?! 🤨

65. Nike or Adidas?

Umm Nike I guess?? I think I’ve had Nike shoes idk about Adidas.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

I like both but Flamin’ Hot Limón Cheetos are everything, still my #1 go-to party snack.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Sunflower seeds are fine but def peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Haunted. Brings me back to my dorm room 9 years ago, crying over my first bf who I was in the process of breaking up with (who happens to now be my current bf lol cuz that’s life).

And maybe Style and All You Had To Do Was Stay because like I said...on/off relationship for a decade so those are personal to me lol.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Only once, ballroom as an elective my last year of college. I am SO uncoordinated it’s ridiculous. I am really THAT bad. Funny story, but for our final we were graded on how well we performed and I was a bit nervous! The instructor wrote down all of our grades in one sheet of paper. I looked at my scores - 93s, 94s - and thought ‘yay! I’m not as bad as I thought!’......until I saw that every else had like 98 and I was literally the lowest scorer hahaha. But an A is an A 🤷🏻‍♀️

Other than that, I’ve done one-off lessons with my best friend who has dragged me along to her classes.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Besides my current bf, I only dated engineers or graphic artists in school and my early 20s haha. Now my bf is training to be a physical therapist. Whether I marry/end up him or not, it would possibly be someone in the engineering or medical fields? Just based on my track record and personality. But hey I’ve dated/hooked up with a couple actors even now that I think about it so who knows lmao.

Thanks so much for all the Qs, anon! I have a few more asks in the pipeline but keep them coming! (Planning on an extra 🍷 or two tonight...)

[rapeculturerealities]

The #MeToo movement has been a cultural reckoning across industries, from Hollywood to restaurants — but one of the oldest that's been affected is classical music. In March, James Levine, a longtime conductor of the Metropolitan Opera in New York City, was fired for allegations of sexual misconduct. And now, centuries-old works from Carmen to Don Giovanni are being challenged for misogynistic plots and themes.

NPR's Lulu Garcia-Navarro spoke with three women — opera singers Leah Hawkins and Aleks Romano, as well as Kim Witman, vice president of opera and classical programming at Wolf Trap Opera in Virginia — about their experiences and reaction to the #MeToo movement in the opera world. Hear the full conversation at the audio link and read an edited transcript below.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: I want to start with your personal reactions to the movement. Where is it at in the opera world? What has surprised you and impressed you? Are these conversations that you're having amongst yourselves?

Aleks Romano: I think for a lot of us it's underscored individual thoughts that we've had internally or privately in a rehearsal room. It's really made us more aware of some of the shortcomings of our art form and how we can adjust our perspective as role models.

Leah Hawkins: I would agree that people are more aware and people are asking questions and checking comfort levels. And I feel that it's been that way for me my entire career, even though I'm in the beginning of it.

Kim Witman: Also, it's been accompanied by an increased focus on gender parity and diversity. I think it's all leading to a much healthier environment in our industry and everywhere else.

Garcia-Navarro: I have friends who are opera singers and I saw really interesting Facebook threads when the whole #MeToo movement blew up — about their own personal experiences and how difficult it had been when they were starting out. They're a bit older and a lot of these discussions were long overdue in this world, because even though, obviously, female artists are very important to the genre, it is often men who still preside over these spaces. Is that something you have felt?

Romano: I think that it's really come down to a power discussion in opera. That was the discussion I found most interesting on social media: It came down to who was in the position of power and who was sort of subservient.

Witman: I think one of the things that makes us unique is that we are embedded with a centuries-old Western European tradition that was led by men, and it formed our industry — the classical music industry and opera in particular — maybe a bit more aggressively than others. So I think this conversation is very much needed.

Garcia-Navarro: It's interesting that you bring that up: Earlier this year, an Italian production of Carmen changed the ending so that the title character kills her admirer and abuser, Don José, rather than being killed herself. How do you produce and handle the themes of these works that are mostly written and composed by, as you say, white men?

Witman: It's my favorite question to answer! Thank you very much for that [laughs]. I think there are a number of different ways you can go with these things. One is that you can produce them what we call traditionally, and then develop a series of conversations around the fact that these are cautionary tales from our history. And of course, the other extreme is to take the actual vehicle itself and change it in some way. This was a very aggressive way of doing that by changing the ending, but there are other less aggressive ways of pointing out allegories and things like that. So it's fascinating to see things happening along that whole spectrum.

Garcia-Navarro: Aleks, you have performed Carmen at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C.

Romano: It's a role that I hope to continue to encounter over and over again.

Garcia-Navarro: It's one of the great roles.

Romano: Especially for mezzos! We don't get a lot of leading ladies, so we've really got to make it count. But the greatest thing about Carmen is that it does open this conversation for how we treat gender, and what feminism looks like onstage in the world, and who really has the power in that piece. You know, I think we typically come to Carmen as a sort of feminist manifesto of opera, and I'm not always convinced that that's the case. She has to fight tooth and nail for every minute that she has "power." And she still gets stabbed at the end by the man that she basically just said "I don't want to date you anymore" to. So it always is a conversation with the director, with the conductor, with my castmates. And I'm very glad that opera is such a collaborative art form with so many open minded people in it.

Garcia-Navarro: When you have these conversations with men, what is that like? Are they thinking about these things in the same way as you are?

Hawkins: Certainly men in my generation are, but when you have conversations with older men, they don't always understand. They sort of make fun of the movement and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, am I allowed to say that to you?" So you're fighting with those kinds of attitudes. But I would say my colleagues are absolutely open to it, and I'm actually very inspired by their understanding and wanting to make us comfortable.

Garcia-Navarro: Part of the thing that any performance-based career has is the message that, "Hey, there are a million people who would love to be where you are, so count yourself lucky. You should just accept whatever comes your way, because there are a lot of other people who'll do whatever it takes to get where you are."

Romano: I'll tell you, this whole experience being part of a production of Carmenand being able to have these conversations is equal parts empowering and absolutely terrifying. Will I ever sing in another production of Carmen again if people know that I take issue with the fact that she is abused and murdered? It's a huge risk to speak your mind as an artist in some ways. But I also think that it's being bolstered and people really care to know my thoughts about the character, speaking from my own personal experience.

Garcia-Navarro: I'm going to ask you because you are, Kim, a woman in power, a woman in authority: Where do you see your role in this?

Witman: My role in this — and thank you very much, power and authority are not two things that I think of — but my role ... is to keep the conversations going and keep them public. And I think I'm also responsible for helping to identify women to put, as we say, in the pipeline: to make sure that if I see someone whose work deserves to have a light shone on it, that I can participate in doing that.

Garcia-Navarro: I'm going to give the last word to you, Leah.

Hawkins: I take comfort in knowing that, yes, I'm very lucky to be in the position I'm in, but also I work really hard. So I feel like my voice should be heard, and my opinion should be valued. And I feel very lucky in this position that I'm in at the time that I'm entering the business. I'm allowed, in many ways, to do that because of women who came before me and because of the conversations that were had and are being had.

[elfnerdherder]

Where the Wicked Walk: Ch. 32

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A lovely, genuine thanks to my patrons: @jenacar @evertonem @frostyleegraham @starlit-catastrophe @sylarana @frostylicker Duhaunt6, Mendacious Bean, Laura G, Superlurk, and Cecily! <3 You’ve been here for this entire ride and I can’t thank you enough!

Chapter 32: The Masque of the Red Death

           He was allowed to see Abigail after he gave an official statement detailing the events within the house. He was allowed to see Wally, too, but when he asked about Beverly and Molly, even Jack turned him down.

           “As of right now, everyone is being detained here in respective cells or rooms until further notice,” he’d explained. “Your statement correlates with what Abigail Hobbs said, as well as what we were able to get out of Wally, but even I have to draw the line somewhere, Will.”

           “I’m going to work more with Wally and see what I can do, but I’m going to urge you, Jack, to remember that he is a traumatized child. We don’t know what he went through in that house,” Alana said. The look she gave Jack said quite clearly how many times she’s repeated that same sentiment in one way or another.

           Jack looked as though he had a profound thought to that, but Will clearing his throat took the wind from his sails.

           “They’re victims,” Will had said, staring out of the room he was to be contained within. So long as he behaved and his deadened connection didn’t cause anything ‘untoward’ to happen, the door would remain unlocked for him to come and go as he chose. “I had to get them out.”

           “You’re a victim, too, Will,” Alana had reminded him, standing beside Jack.

           “No I’m not,” Will retorted, and he’d turned to look at them sharply. “I overcame.”

           That was how, much later that afternoon, he found himself seated within the garden that the FBI had dedicated for those battling the all-consuming agony of what soulmate-severance truly was, alongside Abigail Hobbs while Wally tracked a few arachnids trundling through the winter flora and fauna.

           “It’s December,” Abigail said when he sat down. “I thought you’d want to know.”

           Will watched Wally poke at a particularly terrified spider. “I wonder how regulated this garden is. Spiders shouldn’t be out and about like that if it’s December.”

           She looked at him for a long time, then followed his gaze and watched Wally, too. “I heard heaters kick on. You can see the openings up top to even cover this whole place, need be.”

           “That’s a lot of money for an FBI headquarters to use.”

           “Soulmate severance is no joke,” Abigail replied, then immediately caught herself. Will noted her quick movements out of the corner of his eye, how she fumbled for something else to say.

           He still felt hollow, carved out like spaghetti squash. Something was missing, and along his skin there was the burn like the aftermath of shading done on a particularly large and vicious tattoo. A cat scratch that kept getting fussed over, only it was all over his skin and even his eyes hurt sometimes. Blinking hurt. He wondered if it was the fire that finally took Hannibal, or if Dolarhyde had gone back to finish the job after all.

           “What happened at that house?” Will asked raggedly, when words finally came.

           “Agent Crawford asked me not to tell you.”

           “I told him that I killed Garrett Jacob Hobbs because he attacked you.”

           “I said the same thing.”

           Silence again. Wally lost the spider within the cracks of the walls, and he began his next search intently.

           “I only know what happened because I was informed about certain things that were to occur once Jack Crawford managed to find the house,” Abigail said at last. Her voice shook, and Will nudged around the particular use of the word ‘once’ Jack found the house, not ‘if’. “Most of the house…they thought that Dr. Lecter was going to free them. Through embracing death, they conquered it.”

           “I read The Masque of the Red Death,” said Will, and his plucking hands found some grass below their bench. Fingers twitched and fussed over the crunchy and dry texture. “Death is disguised and finds his way to Prince Prospero in the end. He takes him from the palace where he’d locked himself away because in the end, the red death reaches all.”

           “Yes.”

           “Jack Crawford is still alive, though.”

           He looked at Abigail, and her hands fussed with the buttons on her mittens, her eyes trained fixedly on Wally. He tasted the smoke from that night, and he coughed to lessen the pressure in his chest.

           “Unless Jack Crawford was representative of death, not Prince Prospero,” he realized after a moment.

           “Dr. Lecter’s words were poetry,” she whispered, “and he promised all of those fools safety within that castle, knowing full well that one day death would come to tear it down. That was the plan.”

           “What’d he do, Abigail?” Will asked, and even though he could feel the emptiness that told him yes, yes, Hannibal Lecter was dead, he felt his presence then, looming over them with his wicked and careful planning.

           “If the perimeter alarms were to sound, then everyone was to reach into their pocket and withdraw a small capsule with a pill,” she said slowly. “That pill gave them approximately ten to twenty minutes to destroy any evidence within the house that hadn’t already been burned in the fire, then if they were captured they’d already be dead. Secrets couldn’t be pried from them. He wanted Jack Crawford to have to live with that.”

           Will let those words sit in the air between them, heavy with its realities. That didn’t entirely sound like Hannibal, although it did sound like a contingency plan concocted by Dolarhyde. Hannibal wanted a show, and Dolarhyde didn’t want witnesses.

           “Did they find Agent Dolarhyde?” he rasped.

           Abigail didn’t answer, and that was enough of an answer for him.

           “They didn’t find Hannibal’s body, or they wouldn’t have needed my confirmation,” he added slowly.

           “They’re waiting for the place to be stable enough post-fire so that they can round up any bodies missed. I think Jack said agents had the place under control to keep reporters out. The entire house had been installed with an additional pipeline holding gasoline, so when it went—”

           “It went quick,” Will agreed. “I was there.”

           The center of his chest was hollow and ached when his arm brushed it to adjust the hat on his head. He wondered if someone cracked his ribs open, if they’d find dust and cobwebs inside, or if he’d spill out the secrets of the house onto the garden walk for them to collect.

           “I never thanked you for killing my dad,” Abigail said as Wally triumphantly held a bug aloft, the sunlight glinting off of its exoskeleton.

           “He would have died anyway the moment Jack arrived,” said Will bitterly. “Maybe I shouldn’t have notched my belt.”

           A lie, in truth. Garrett Jacob Hobbs would have never let Abigail leave that house alive.

           There was a hesitance to her silence that made him look over at her, her face in profile sharper and far more the manipulative predator that he knew she could be, the same as he knew himself to be. His ribs ached when he breathed. He needed to go see Hannibal.

           Only there was no Hannibal to see.

           “Tell me, Abigail,” he prompted when she didn’t speak.

           “A small selection of us,” she said after a prolonged hesitation, “were to exit through the basement to a rendezvous point in the woods. There was transport waiting, as well as papers that would have gotten us anywhere around the world that Hannibal wanted us to go.”

           “Who?”

           “Dr. Lecter, Francis, Chiyoh, Beverly, Saul, me, and you.”

           Will thought of Beverly and Saul, and suddenly he didn’t feel like talking anymore. Spit turned to rust in his mouth.

           “Then I heard what Beverly did to Saul after she helped us escape, and I wasn’t sure what the plan was anymore,” she continued.

           Will stood, and his hands shook. He stuffed them into the pockets of the standard-edition FBI coat that he’d been loaned, and the breaths that huffed from his mouth curled about his head like the smoke of a great, red dragon.

           “I killed your dad because I wanted to kill your dad,” he said, staring at Wally releasing one bug to go and stalk another. “I think, given the chance, I’d do it all over again.”

           He left her with that, and he headed back to his room with a hand pressed to his chest as though he could find the place where bone and sinew ended and that wretched emptiness began.

-

           Jack was working on paperwork.

           Cases like these were like that, this he knew. The paperwork is what finally let it all sink beneath his suitcoat. He blinked, and he saw firelight. He blinked again, and he saw that he’d scribbled out the words suspect first began in a scrawling, messy script. He’d have to redo it. Maybe not. Maybe he just needed a damn nap.

           Hannibal Lecter was dead.

           Jack wasn’t sure how to express the feelings in regards to that thought, coupled with the hair-raising noise of Will screaming. When he first saw Will emerge from the dark, grasping claws of the forest trees, his heart had stopped. Surely these men were holding him hostage, waiting to pull the trigger in the final moment to show Jack once and for all who was in charge?

           But then Will shouted his name, and everything else wasn’t important anymore.

           He wasn’t sure which noise pervaded his mind more: the gasping sounds he’d made as he tried to staunch the blood flow from Jack’s stab wound, or the sound of his screaming as he dropped to the ground and began to writhe. That scream made his blood cold, made him want to turn tail and run and run and run until he could see that Bella was safe because he knew that noise better than anything else in the entire god damn world.

           Soulmate severance.

           “God dammit,” he murmured, and he grabbed the next file to update. Suspects were being questioned. Suspects were being identified. Bodies were being confirmed.

           Most of the fucking suspects had committed suicide on the lawn of their burning horror house.

           One had survived, though. At the sight of his accomplices dropping, one boy had turned whiter than a sheet and started backing away until he’d backed right into an agent that frisked him and dumped him into the first car that they could have en route to HQ. Don’t fucking lose that one, Jack had said to the agent. You hear me? He dies, your job is mine.

           And Will Graham had become a soulmate to Hannibal-fucking-Lecter.

           A noise just outside of his door made his stomach lurch. The lack of a body was an itch he couldn’t reach, but he just had to be patient. When the place was a little more stable, they’d run DNA scans on anything they could get their god damn hands on. Will’s pain, his screaming, was the best of indications, but at hearing that Will had been the one to kill him?

           There was no wonder to the trauma he’d subject himself to just to save people.

           There was no body yet, though. No body meant no rest for Jack Crawford, no respite from ragged moments of sleep where he woke to Hannibal gutting him again and again and again.

           Will Graham had gutted him too, though. It felt good knowing that Lecter would know just what that felt like.

           He wanted you to lose, Will had said, staring out of the window in his room. That was the trap, Jack. He wanted you to find him, and he wanted to ensure that all of the many ways in which you could find closure would be destroyed, too. Dead witnesses, dead house, dead end. Only now, he’s dead, too.

           Another noise, this time a creak of a shoe on a faulty floor. Jack was standing and striding across his office sooner than he’d have liked to admit, hand tapping at his holster where his gun was. Hannibal Lecter was dead. Will Graham’s agony confirmed it.

           They hadn’t found Dolarhyde, though.

           They hadn’t yet found Molly Foster, either.

           He wasn’t sure what Will would do when he found out that information, but he was tabling it for the time being. Will Graham’s opinion be damned, he was a victim in the circumstances they were dealing with –whether of ‘sound mind’ or not meant nothing in regards to dumping information on him that could potentially impede investigation. He’d been in that house for a couple of months, not a day.

           Who knew what all had happened? What all he’d endured but couldn’t say?

           Enough that his eyes had changed. Enough that Jack hadn’t made it in time.

           The details of the investigation were, therefore, not Will Graham’s concern at this time.

           The hallway was empty, though, bright lights burning on weary eyes. Jack stared at the walls in a muted taupe color, something just off enough from white that it didn’t feel as oppressive –according to studies. Jack didn’t much give a damn about white walls or taupe walls, but maybe this was an indication he should get some sleep, put his head down long enough to quiet the wicked thoughts of –

           “Getting paranoid, Jack?”

           Jack turned around and stared into the eyes of Lloyd Bowman.

           He’d have immediately supposed it was a dream, if Lloyd didn’t look like utter shit. His skin was sallow, and there were lines along his neck that suggested he’d had to sleep at an odd angle for some time. Days, in fact. Weeks. A couple of months.

           With a wound like his, Jack could figure he’d had to sleep at just the sort of angle to keep pressure off of his abdominal walls, away from the muscle and tissue that’d been torn apart by one of Lecter’s followers.

           Lloyd’s smile was wan, and he leaned heavily on a cane. “You didn’t send my wife flowers.”

           “I did,” Jack replied.

           “No, Price did. I asked, and he said he put your name on them, too, but he was the one to pick them out. A nice assortment of lilies ranging from Callas to Stargazers.” After a thought, “Those are her favorite.”

           “She mad at you?”

           “Mostly crying,” Lloyd assured him. “Then relief. A nice, home cooked meal.”

           Silence in the hall. Jack considered Lloyd, and he tried to reassure himself that his heart pounding was because he was angry that this meant that Lloyd had faked his death, disappeared rather than died.

           After everything else, though, Jack wasn’t quite so sure that he could fake anger. Not now. Maybe he was something like his wife, where the anger could set in after he had time to feel relief.

           “You look like shit,” Jack said at last. The words weren’t right; they turned sour in his mouth and made his tongue curl. They weren’t what he wanted to say, but they were all he could say.

           Maybe he could bring himself to be angry, after all.

           Lloyd, bless him, laughed. “You too, if you don’t mind me saying.”

           “I don’t mind.”

           “It was a safe house,” he said when Jack didn’t press for anything. Jack figured he needed to take his time rather than bulldoze into a barrage of questions. It was tempting to, especially since Zeller’s health was touch and go. He couldn’t bully Zeller into living, but he could damn sure talk Lloyd in circles around himself as he all but interrogated him. The lack of a body made him aggressive, fidgety. They needed to get into that house soon.

           “I’m not sorry,” Lloyd continued. “I heard about Zeller, and my only regret is –”

           Jack knew not to hug him, seeing how he leaned on the cane. Instead, he reached over and grasped him by his shoulders tightly, squeezing. He wasn’t sure if he could convey the relief that doused him with a quick bucket of water overhead, but he was trying. Things had become far too emotional, far too muddled for Jack, a person who knew how to categorize and make boxes for people rather than let their lives and his bleed together.

           Something had changed, though, that moment that Will Graham had saved his life. Then later, when –rather than Jack save him –Will had had to save himself the only way that he knew how.

           Lloyd’s secretive smile warmed, and he grabbed Jack by the shoulder and squeezed just as tightly.

           “You’re so sly, but so am I,” he said, and despite everything, Jack had it in himself to laugh, rasping and ugly.

           “Get your ass in here,” he replied, and it wasn’t quite a demand.

           It wasn’t quite a request, either.

           Lloyd followed him into his office, and maybe things were going to turn out alright after all.

-

           Nick Bowman sat across one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen.

           Alright, potentially not.

           It was pretty damn close, though.

           “You play on Roll 20, too?”

           “Yeah, logged maybe a couple thousand hours. It’s one of my passions,” Emma gushed, and she stirred sugar into her tea. They were at a quiet coffee shop near the edge of town, everything draped in taupe and coffee bean décor. They showed migrant workers on canvas paintings sorting beans and carrying large, wicker-baskets of blatant consumerism, but the music overhead was nice and their dark roast really was exceptional.

           It was a good first date, in reality.

           “Awesome,” said Nick sincerely. “That’s just…wow. We’ll have to play together some time.”

           “That’d be fun. I warn you, though: I play rogues, and my sneak attacks are almost always on a nat. 20.”

           “That’s why your character is on my side, not fighting me,” he laughed.

           “Fair enough.”

           Her smile was just on the edge of coy, and her pixie cut framed apple cheeks and a button nose. He wasn’t one to think about details like that, but if this was going to actually be his soulmate, Nick figured that he owed it to her to try and see her as maybe the love of her life would see her. Slight yet sturdy. Capable yet quiet. She seemed, to Nick, a mix of paradox and that American-girl aesthetic that companies looked for in their models for advertising.

           “So, why did you sign up for that site?” she asked curiously. She tilted her head just-so, in order to better analyze his words, and Nick couldn’t help but admit that the scrutiny was kind of alluring. Maybe there was something to Uncle Lloyd’s words, that he didn’t get out of the house enough. Now that there was someone interesting staring across the table at him, he’d have to reconsider the advantages of socializing with people that didn’t live in their own decrepit apartments while they shouted intermittently in their mics about whether or not they were using homebrew, 3.5 rules, or 5e.

           Rules lawyers, the lot of them.

           “I was curious at first, since they claimed they’d find a soulmate for me in a week,” he confessed. “I like to poke holes in things like that. Dunno why.”

           “Sounds like you like to be right about most things.”

           “Maybe.” She laughed, and it bolstered him to continue, “I don’t regret being wrong right now, though.”

           “You think they got your number?”

           “Dunno about them, but I’d like to give you mine, if you’re alright with that. It’s faster than e-mail.”

           “We’re not soulmates yet.”

           Yet. He considered the use of its word and her confidence in saying it. He wondered if Lloyd had gone back to the FBI yet, or if he was still laying low. According to the reports on the news and the interwebs, there was no body accounted for, but it looked like that poor abductee had made a soulmate connection while a prisoner there.

           Then Nick’s own digging revealed that it was Hannibal Lecter of all people he’d connected to.

           It made soulmates sound sticky in his ears, but he understood her feelings on the matter. She’d signed up for a dating site, after all.

           He wrote his number on a napkin for her, since he was feeling rather cliché and that’s what some people did in coffee shops on dates. She accepted it with a smile, and they walked out of the small coffee shop boasting half off specials for soulmates on Sundays. Maybe, just maybe if this worked out, they’d come back on Sundays and bask in the slowly-laid foundation of memories.

           Maybe she’d game with him, and his group would finally have that assassin they were looking for.

           She walked him to his car, oddly enough. It was a piece of shit Camry from the 90’s that, on a good day, turned over the first time. After getting booted from training in Quantico, Nick hadn’t had the best of luck, but at least that car had stuck through his ups and downs, his work and lack thereof. It was a thankless job being someone like Nick, but as he turned around and looked into Emma’s eyes, one hand poised on the roof of the car and the other on the door, he wondered if maybe he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

           She leaned up and pressed a kiss to the spot just at the edge of his lips, gentle.

           Then drove a knife into his gut and twisted, hard.

           “Francis Dolarhyde wanted me to inform you that, while your skills are exemplary, he is not currently in the market for a hacker that couldn’t exhibit enough self-control to make it out of FBI training and into the real world,” she whispered into his ear. “But for what it’s worth, I thought you were doing rather well up until this moment.”

           Nick opened his mouth to expel the rush of sound that filled his head with screaming, but nothing came. He felt suddenly cold, then hot, then numb; something wet was gathering along his stomach, his legs, his shoes, but he couldn’t quite reconcile his shock with what that meant.

           Dying, you fucking idiot. You’re dying.

           She pulled the knife from him and wiped it on a clean rag before depositing it into a large envelope. He saw her put the envelope into her purse, but the rest was dizzying to track, his blinks slow and lethargic. A voice, rough and panicked in the back of his mind warned him that by pulling the knife out, she was dooming him to die, but that wasn’t quite grasped onto either. Everything was sliding, sliding, sliding away, and he was eased into the driver’s seat of his car gently, he feet tucked up by the pedals.

           He blinked again, and his vision swam. It was difficult to describe it as pain, seeing as how everything was muted and distorted to the touch, too far away to really grasp onto. His head lolled and bobbed, and somehow he found it pressed against the window, staring at the back of Emma’s head as she strode across the parking lot and climbed into a waiting car.

           As it peeled away, Nick closed his eyes and fell into deep, fading sleep. He kept time with his death based off of the wheezing from his weakening breath.

-

           Zeller’s first words upon waking at the hospital were, “Where’s Jack,” followed closely by, “Where’s Hannibal?”

           Within twenty minutes –twenty only because of traffic –Jack was there, closely accompanied by a harried Price and a Bowman that the nurse insisted on helping into a wheelchair.

           Jack wasn’t sure how to take looking at him, bruised and battered and missing fingers. The head surgeon had informed them that the fresh surgery wound had been to remove his kidney, but it had been done with utmost skill and precision. He was alive, but only just. He was awake, but only just. When Jack saw his blue eyes flickering lazily along the lights and tiles of the ceiling, he crossed the room in two strides and took care to miss the tubes and wires as he put a hand on his shoulder.

           “Hey, Jack,” Zeller managed hoarsely. “Sorry I missed work.”

           “Son-of-a-bitch,” Price muttered, and he circled to the other side. “You’re chipper.”

           “Takes…more to kill me than that,” Zeller managed, and he coughed roughly. It sounded like sand on glass, that noise, but Jack bore it well. He stared at Zeller, committing to memory every nick and scratch that’d occurred at the hands of Lecter and Dolarhyde.

           God, how sometimes he wished Lecter had lived so that he could have killed him himself.

           “How are you feeling?” Bowman asked. “Do you need medication?”

           Zeller shook his head, and he looked back to Jack. “I didn’t…I didn’t tell them, Jack. Bella’s okay, right? I didn’t –I didn’t –tell them where she was.”

           “Hell, I know,” Jack assured him, and god dammit his eyes were stinging and hot. “I know you didn’t, Zeller. Know how I know?”

           “How?”

           “Since we didn’t move her, and nothing happened. She stayed right where you knew she was, and nothing happened.”

           Zeller’s eyes fluttered closed, and his exhale took the weight of his fears with it. “Where’s…Lecter?”

           “Dead,” Price replied savagely. “Graham took him out.”

           “Graham?” Bowman asked, surprised.

           “Heard them talkin’…downstairs. Graham didn’t take shit, there.” Zeller fell into a coughing fit, eyes crushed tight with the pain of it. “Killed the Shrike, killed the guy pretending to be a sheriff…killed Randall Tier. Made others think he was gonna kill them, too.”

           “He’d have done it, given the chance,” Jack agreed.

           “Did you see him?” Price asked.

           “They kept three locked doors between me and the rest of the house. I only saw Dolarhyde and…and Lecter.”

           Thinking of Lecter seemed to take the wind out of his sails. Zeller’s ashen face paled, and he sunk into the pillows as a tremor worked its way over his skin.

           “That sick son-of-a-bitch,” he murmured, and his heartrate spiked. “That s-sick, sadistic, son-of-a –”

           “We got him in the end,” Jack cut in, and he pulled up a chair to get comfortable. “You hear me, Zeller? We got him in the end, dental records pulled from the ashes of what appeared to be an office. That sick son-of-a-bitch is gone.”

           His heartrate calmed, but only just. As lungs battered and bruised from breathing smoke and fire struggled to give oxygen, Bowman wheeled up close to his leg and Price took his other side. The investigation could wait a damn second, Jack figured.

           “I didn’t tell him anything,” Zeller managed, and he closed his eyes tightly. “I didn’t say a word.”

           “I know,” Jack replied, and he clasped what little was left of Zeller’s right hand. “I know.”

-

           Beverly Katz found Will in the same garden that he’d sat in with Abigail Hobbs. It wasn’t necessarily that Will liked the garden, nor was it something particular in the way the evergreen shrubs were trimmed with utmost care; he supposed it was because it was outside, enough of an outside that it wasn’t that room that he was both locked in and yet not locked in.

           He stared at her as she made her way along the narrow gravel path. She looked like he felt.

           “You have something to tell me,” he said.

           Winston lay at his feet, nose snuffing lazily towards Beverly. He’d recognize her scent, although Will didn’t feel as though he should. Too much had changed, and surely her actions had changed her scent, left her a new person altogether that was unrecognizable?

           “Do you want me to say it, or do you already know?”

           She was dressed in a sensible pantsuit with a one-inch heel and a low bun at the nape of her neck. He studied the delicate crease where someone had ironed the perfect, crisp line for her slacks, and he shrugged.

           “You’re not FBI.”

           “CIA.”

           “They sanctioned the shit you did?” he asked, and despite everything he could almost claim the tone incredulous.

           “Some of it.” At his nod, she sat down beside him, a polite distance away. “I’m on a leave of absence while paperwork gets sorted out. May have to be suspended, too.”

           “You’re on national television.”

           “You, too.”

           They stared off at the distance, seeing but not quite seeing.

           “How pissed was Jack when he realized that the woman he’d been dragging through the mud was actually an undercover agent working to take down a slew of serial killers in one fell swoop?” Will asked wryly.

           “Probably about as pissed as my boss was when I debriefed him on removing Wally and Abigail from the premises without also acquiring you,” she replied.

           “I wouldn’t let you.”

           “Our friendship wouldn’t let me,” she corrected. “I could have easily subdued you, but I let you go back. That wasn’t the order.”

           “Orders,” Will scoffed. “Just how many people have been giving you orders, Beverly? Hannibal, Francis, your boss at the CIA –must have gotten confusing to keep it all together.”

           Silence broken only by a crackling loudspeaker just within the door of HQ. Then, “My name is actually Laura.”

           Beverly’s name was Laura. Will chewed a few curse words around in his mouth, but there was a struggle in bringing weight to them. He’d woken empty again, a vessel that sat unfilled.

           “Do you wake up with his name in your mouth?” he asked weakly. “Or do you just wake up hating yourself for what you’ve done?”

           “Will, I set him up,” she said, and she trembled as though a great gust of wind had chilled her. “I put belladonna in his tea so that he’d fall asleep at the perimeter so that we had a clean getaway. That’s how I knew that it was safe to leave in the direction that I took you. That’s why he was so confused when he was accused.”

           He wasn’t sure what to think of that revelation, if it endeared her to him or condemned her. He thought of their friendship, how she knew his quirks and habits without judging him for it, how she was torn between doing right by him and doing right by her country. Maybe the two of them were more alike than Will had supposed; that they were both willing to take the life of their soulmate in order to protect others was a raw sort of commonality, but there they were.

           There they fucking were.

           “Is it true that Freddie Lounds was the one to find the house?” Will asked. At her pointedly confused stare, he added, “Abigail told me, but Jack won’t talk about it. They’re keeping me in the dark.”

           “The rendezvous was at Freddie Lounds’ car, yes,” she agreed.

           “Lounds,” Will swore, and suddenly Earl asking about a Ms. Lounds at the house made so much more sense.

           “She was a pain in the ass, but I wasn’t going to let her go to waste. Not if it got you guys out of there alright.”

           Silence once more. Will tracked clouds listing across the sky and huddled deeper into his coat. Beside him, Beverly –Laura –swung a leg and made idle designs in the frozen dirt.

           “What now?” he asked. He coughed to release the pressure in his throat. “Are you released, or are you detained while under leave until the pissing contest between the FBI and the CIA cools down?”

           “It’s a paid leave due to Saul,” she said off-handedly. “Despite my finding him while undercover, he was still my soulmate. Not even the FBI can get in the way of soulmate grievance laws.”

           Her voice cracked on the word ‘soulmate’. Will’s spit tasted like rust.

           “I don’t know if they told you, but I murdered Hannibal,” Will said.

           What have you done, Will? What have you done?

           “They told me, yeah.”

           “I feel hollowed inside, Beverly,” Will revealed, and his voice cracked. “Like someone scooped out my organs and there’s nothing left.”

           “We did what we had to do,” Beverly replied, and the fierceness in her voice was iron and steel and all manner of repetition until maybe she could believe it herself. “I won’t apologize for it. Neither should you.”

           Will wouldn’t apologize for it, but as he laid down to sleep that night, he wondered at the feeling of his skin along concrete and pull of his ribs against his skin, as though there were something inside of him strung up and tugging him along from a great distance.

-

           There was a break-in that night in a non-descript hotel where Wally Foster and two agents were staying. The agents couldn’t account for how the woman had gotten into the room, but by the time the chaos ended, Wally was gone and hotel video surveillance showed Molly in a grubby baseball cap, jeans, and a ratty hoodie tucking her son into the passenger seat of a beat-up Bronco and driving away into the night with stolen license plates.

           Footage later recovered from the drive of one of Dolarhyde’s surveillance cameras also showed Molly Foster deliberately tripping one of the perimeter wires as she escaped, setting off the chaos that later ensued and led to the willful death of nineteen of Hannibal Lecter’s followers.

           And Darkness and Decay, and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

[fanfics-for-you-too-blog]

I’ll Protect You part 3

Don’t be shy to request things! if you request please request in my asks, it will be much easier for me to keep up with them thank you!

Part 1, Part 2

Jughead x Andrews!reader

Word count: 1944

Warnings: Mentions of blood, Spoilers for season 2 episode 3

Y/N: Your Name

A/N: I should have posted this sooner but here's part 3!  (Not my photo, credit to whoever made it! Text picture is mine ^_^)

“It was full on Carrie. Midge covered in Moose’s blood, screaming like a banshee. It was insane.” Kevin told us as we all sat in the lounge. “Kev, what were you even doing there? You could’ve been shot too.” Archie said walking in. “I was night-jogging, you know, as one does, and suddenly I hear gunshots.” I knew that Kevin was hiding something. “Can we just agree there’s a killer on the loose?” My brother asked. “With terrible aim.” Jug mumbled. “Jughead, he killed Ms. Grundy.” “We don’t know these crimes are related.” Betty said and even though she’s right that we don’t know for sure they’re related, there’s a pretty good chance that they are. “Guys, can we focus on what matters here? Midge and Moose are alive. Archie and Y/N’s dad survived. The Matchlerette starts tonight. You’re all coming over to watch.” “There’s a shooter terrorizing the town.” Jug said. “You really want us to watch a gross dating show?” I asked causing jug to smile at me. “What I want is for you guys to meet my dad officially. Back in New York, my dad was always in his study, doing bad things, as it turns out. I’m tired of closed doors.” Veronica sighed. “I need to know my dad’s life and he needs to know mine.” “Well, we’ll be there V. Can’t wait.” Betty said with a smile. I looked at Jughead and we both shared a look of annoyance knowing we had to go and watch a stupid dating show. “Thank you.” Veronica said with a smile. “Hey, Andrews, we’re going to the hospital to see Moose. You coming?” Reggie asked my brother. “Yeah, for sure. I’ll see you tonight Ronnie. Y/N I’ll see you at home later?” He asked. “Probably, tell Moose I hope he gets better soon for me ok?” “You got it.” Then he left with the team to go see poor Moose. “I better go too, I was supposed to meet my peer mentor at Southside High half an hour ago.” Jug said getting up and walking to the door. “Wait, are? Are you sure you can’t keep going here?” I asked. “I’ll be fine.” He said and kissed me to reassure me. Jug left and I turned around to see B and V left and Kevin was just walking out, I grabbed my things and caught up with him. “Okay, it’s just us now. Night-jogging?” I asked. “Yeah. I’m trying to get in shape for wrestling.” I gave him a look that said ‘bullshit’. “Okay, fine, I was cruising Fox Forest. But I’m going out for wrestling. I had to tell my dad I was jogging.” “He believed you?” “Yeah, he wants to believe me.” Kevin answered stopping at his locker. “Better not let Betty find out you know she hates that, but in this case I think she’s right. Moose and Midge were shot literally 300 yards from Fox Forest, and the person that did it is probably the one that shot my dad, they’re still out there. Please don’t go back out there till he’s caught?” “Okay, fine. Scout’s honor.” I didn’t believe him so I was going to have to tell Betty since I know she’ll make sure he doesn’t, I don’t want to tell her but I can’t keep an eye on him with that guy still out there. The bell rang and we went to our class.

I was sitting in the kitchen with dad and Archie, he was talking about what happened with Moose and Midge. “Moose and Midge described him. Same guy that shot you and knocked Y/N out, same hood, same eyes. Dad, it’s him.” I shuddered a bit when Archie mentioned when happened. “If Sheriff Keller’s not gonna take that seriously, I think we should be ready. Like, maybe we should buy a gun, just to be armed in case.” I choked on my drink when he said gun. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, okay? Ease up on that. We’re gonna let the cops do their job.” “ “Armed?” What the hell are you talking about Arch?” I asked, is my brother crazy? “We don’t keep guns in this house okay? So, just cool it.” I get Archie is scared but a gun? We don’t need that!

After that happened we went up to our rooms to get ready for V’s little get together. When we got there Archie was still in his own world. He was sitting in a chair while me Juggie and V were on the couch, B was sitting in the other chair closest to us. “Why don’t you sit down next to me, loverboy?” Veronica said. “Archie?” I asked when he didn’t respond to her. “I’m sorry, this thing with Moose it’s like nobody cares! Dad keeps saying, “Leave it to Sheriff Keller.” I’m like yeah, he did such a great job of catching Jason’s murderer. Oh wait, I’m sorry that was us.” “Inside voices please.” V whispered. “No, don’t stop him. Archie going Travis Bickle is my favorite Archie yet.” Jug said mouth full of popcorn. “Doesn’t it feel like he’s targeting us? I mean specifically? I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.” Archie looked at me saying that last part. “When we had a getaway on the Cape, all of us got together and hired private security to keep out the riffraff, as an added layer of protection.” Veronica said, yeah like we can just hire a bodyguard. I rolled my eyes a bit. “I loved that house.” “Daddy.” We all looked at Veronica’s parents. “We’re on our way to dinner at the club.” Mrs. Lodge said. “I wanted to meet your friends first.” Mr. Lodge smiled at us. “Great, thank you. This is Betty Cooper.” “Hi” Betty waved. “Nice to meet you.” “And this is Jughead Jones.” “Hi.” Jug shook his hand. “You know my dad.” “I do. Good man, he values family. I hope his return come sooner rather than later.” “Yeah so do we.” Jug said. “And Daddy this is Y/N Andrews and her older brother-” “Archie Andrews. The boy who’s captured my daughter’s heart.” “Daddy.” “Uh, it’s nice to meet you, sir.” Archie shook his hand, I smiled at how nervous my brother was. “Ah, please call me Hiram. Nice to meet you as well Y/N.” He said smiling at me. “You as well.” I smiled back. “I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion and I, um I understand your frustration with Sheriff Keller. As for someone who’s had his own share of run-ins with the law, I can say that the police aren’t always the solution. Sometimes we need to take matters into our own hands. We need to protect ourselves.” Oh no, this is definitely going to give Archie some bad ideas. “We’re going to lose our table.” Mrs. Lodge points out. “Oh, yes, of course. Hey, it was nice meeting all of you.” He smiles. “Oh, and Archie?” “Yes?” “Why don’t you come over for dinner this week? I look forward to seeing what you come up with to save Riverdale.”

The next day school went as normal as it could with my brother starting a ‘watch club’ as Weatherbee liked to call it. But that night Archie was hanging out with Reggie doing who knows what and I grabbed a teapot and a few other thing to take to Juggie at the Red and Black. “Oh.” I said as I opened the door smiling at my boyfriend, walking in a closing it. “Y/N?” He said getting up. “So this is the Red and Black.” “You cannot be here at night unless you are armed.” “Well I am.” I giggled as I picked up the teapot. “Okay, honestly? I hit dirt. Do you remember how no one could explain the local component of Clifford Blossom’s drug pipeline? That jingle-jangle, the stuff Moose and Midge were on?” “Mmhmm.” I nodded. “It’s coming from here. My dad said the Serpents never deal in hard drugs, but the Ghoulies do.” “Well then do you think it’s a good idea writing about them while you’re going to school here?” “Are you worried about me?” “of course I am jug!” “I thought you liked me reckless.” He smirked and kissed me. The kiss got a little too heated too fast. The door creaked open causing us to pull apart quickly but not before the person saw us making out. “Oh sorry guy, I didn’t see the sock on the door.” I turned. “Toni?” “Y/N? Hey how are you?” She asked putting her box down. “You two know each other?” “Yeah, we’ve been friends for a while now.” “Haven’t seen you since summer.” She said. “So what are you two doing in here?” She asked with a smirk. “Believe it or not Y/N is actually my girlfriend.” “No way, since when?” “Since a few weeks ago.” “Hey, look what Y/N got us.” Jug said pick up the teapot. Toni picked up one from the box she brought in. “Great minds.” We all talked for a bit more till me and Toni decided to leave Jug alone since I knew he was going to stay late anyway. “So Jug doesn’t know that you hung out with the Serpents huh?” I sighed. “No, if he found out he’d tell my brother who’d tell my dad and I’d be dead.” “Well I won’t tell him and I’ll make sure Sweet Pea won’t either but you know he’ll find out eventually, can’t hide it forever Y/N.” “I know but I can try, I hid the jacket from my family for this long even though I told FP I couldn’t keep it he made me just in case I changed my mind.” “Will you?” “I don’t know Toni, even if I did it’d be so much harder to hide it. I know you guys helped me when my mom left and you guys are awesome to be around, nothing like everyone says you guys are but god I can’t imagine how pissed my dad would be.” “Hey, I get it. We all know you’re there for us if we ever need help, nothing big of course, and the same for you. We’ve got your back.” “Thanks, well I should go before my dad wonders where I am, text me sometime, you have my number use it for something other than Serpent business.”  “You got it, see ya around.” She smiled and we went our separate ways.

It was the next morning and I woke up to text from Juggie saying he was in a motorcycle accident. I got up and rushed over to his house with my school supplies. “Can’t you take a day off?” I asked while cleaning its cuts up. “It’s not that bad. Just some cuts and bruises.” “Were you wearing your helmet or being a rebel?” “It was just around the block. Don’t blame me, blame the pothole.” “Well, I thought you were going to say you got jumped by the Ghoulies.” “The Serpents won’t allow that. They’ve got Jugs back, even though he’s not a member. It’s just family loyalty.” I nodded at Toni, knowing what she was getting at. “Great, well I’ve got school so Toni, will you keep an eye on him?” I asked grabbing my bag. “All over it.” “Thanks, I’ll see you later Juggie.” After I left I texted Toni, I knew something was up with Jug. 

I can’t believe Jughead got jumped and didn’t tell me! I just hope he’ll at least sit with them now that he knows how dangerous those assholes are.

[flowing-paint]

GeeDubs fatigue?

Lately, GeeDubs behaves like a leaking wargaming faucet... that's always dripping new stuff. AoS, WH4k, Specialized games: no matter what the products are about, they are (generally) awesome. Personally, all this continuous tickling my shiny-syndrome-spot is starting to be a little annoying. What about you? If you feel the same, keep reading ‘cause I’ll throw some motivational stuff in the post as well!

I know how this works: the act of continuously teasing buyers with new stuff dramatically rises sales and, being GW a for-profit institution, that is probably the way to go for them to make money. Gamers are happy! Collectors are happy! Producers are happy! Everybody is happy! I mean, really?

Well, I'm not super-sure if I'm really happy or not. It's probably just me being grumpy but I don't see how buyers can be (really) happy with this sales scheme. Let me argument.

Let's imagine a parallel universe where you can afford all the models you want: would you be buying them? If you still have the same life you have in this universe we are now (same number of friends/time) I couldn't imagine the amount of time required to build, paint and play all that stuff! I dare to say that even having all the time you want and hundreds of people to play with, the hobby would easily fill up your entire life. So, that would look more or less like hell to me... or, you know... a job.

Well, these days I am starting to feel a similar sort of pressure coming from the hobby side: I just bought something and there they come again with a new thing I would really like to buy. And then another, and another... it just never ends. Bear in mind that I’m not making this a money-related issue: when I’m staring down the barrel of a thousand minis from various ranges I still have to paint, the last thing I want to hear is how awesome the new boxed set is (yes, I’m talking to YOU Forgebane!). I think I will unsubscribe from the GW mailing list for a while even though reality will still hit me in the face through social media. My situation now is well represented by this old Futurama clip. Just bigger and more subtle.

What’s this rant about?

Sort-of-rant, really.

It is about me starting to think a Warhammer / Star Wars analogy here: I used to be always super-excited when SW stuff was involved but after Disney made its debut in that “galaxy far far away” the merchandise went nuts. You have SW mugs, SW chocolate eggs, SW slippers, SW cereals and a plethora of useless stuff with BB-8 or C3PO or ..... (insert each and every character’s name here). As a consequence, I feel bloated every time I hear something Star Wars related. It doesn’t surprise me the fact I still have to watch the last movie... by the way, I first saw “The force awakens” on the plane back from a business trip. So, nay, not super-excited anymore.

Now I am starting to fear the same thing may happen in my brain with GW products, leading to a nuclear chain reaction that may bring me to the point of no return: hating the hobby. I don’t want this to happen. And I definitely don’t want to feel sick and tired of those miniature worlds I was so eager to bring to life through painting and modeling. The point here is that I feel like I am really bringing my miniatures to life by painting them the best I can and making a small diorama of every single base I make. I write backstories for almost all my characters and I make them come true in battle (in my games). Again, I came to the conclusion that all this “new release” stuff is getting my hobby vector in a direction I don’t like.

Get some damn focus

What to do to run away from the never-ending ads, unboxings, WIPs etc? Well, as I said I have a thousand(s) unpainted minis, various game systems, board games and all this sort of jazz. I also have this blog/website! I will try to combine them and do something to help me focus more. I will try to distract myself from the distraction. It would be really nice if I could manage to do some of the following things. I decided to share them because I think they may be good to motivate you guys too so, let me know if they do or if you have any other good idea!

Close my eBay account - Ok, this is a joke but, seriously, eBay is killing my wallet. Damn!

Blacklist GW newsletter - This is not a joke. I will try to get rid of the daily emails so I can focus on something else then dreaming of buying more grey plastic.

Make an inventory - I’m not entirely sure I would be able to tell you exactly how many minis I have around the house(es) now if you asked. I’ll get this sorted!

Keep a backlog - At the beginning of 2018, I’ve seen a lot of people on the internet talking about paint logs. That’s useful to measure your “progress” but what I need is a way to keep track of my “warehouse stock”. Maybe I’ll separate the miniatures by genre or game or whatever and then try to dig through the pile. I’ll see what I come up with.

Come up with a background for my minis - Short stories, episodes, whatever is needed to make a miniature more alive. When I come up with an idea, I write it on my blog (as a Sunday post but not necessarily).

Play, play, play - And then play more! What got me motivated to paint all those Death Guard models was the need I had to reach 1000 pts to play. If this is true then hitting the goal, playing and setting a new goal will probably help me out painting increasingly more miniatures.

Get some terrain done - This really should come before the play one. You cannot play if you don’t have enough terrain on the table. Getting to build your terrain from scratch is a good way to keep the hobby going while actually doing something else. I want to try my hand at sculpting my stuff from scratch.

Try to bring new people into the hobby - This is tricky... but for what I have seen, trying to teach something to someone will always help you learning and getting new motivation. Now, a suggestion: there are not enough people approaching this ultra-niche hobby so if you find somebody, nurture him/her!

Get more content on the site - The “one tutorial a month” scheme is not super-good because I have many ideas in the pipeline that I am not writing. It is a fail-safe plan, indeed, ‘cause I will never run short of ideas but at the same time it doesn’t motivate me to do more. I will try to post tutorials on Sunday together with other content and figure out where I go from there. Lately, I’ve been thinking about “poster tutorials”: some large size PDFs summarizing the technique useful for offline use. I could write them for the most useful tutorials. For the time being, I still have zero readers so it still sounds like overdoing it. We’ll see.

So, in the end, do you really think this was a completely useless rant? I prefer to see it as a tool for self-motivation and this is ultimately the reason why I decided to write it: maybe other people out there may find it useful.

Now, let’s see if I can do some hobby!

Game on!

Support me if you like what you see.

[womenofcolor15]

‘Love is Blind’ Star Lauren Speed Wants Brown Girls To Know THIS About Finding Your Soul Mate (Exclusive)

TheYBF.com caught up with “Love Is Blind” stars Lauren Speed and Cameron Hamilton and - after binging this mostly foolywang material of a show - we love them even more. Find out the message Lauren has for brown girls about finding their soul mate and more inside…

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t watched “Love Is Blind” yet, this post contains spoilers.

Is Love really Blind? Ask Mrs. Hamilton!

Lauren Speed and Cameron Hamilton (above, spreading their love all over NYC while doing press) quickly became fan favorites on everyone’s newest Netflix obsession, “Love Is Blind.” And y'all, we had to suffer through A LOT of foolishness from their castmates to watch their love story blossom. Still recovering from Jessica and Amber and everyone in between.

The series picked a group of men and women, put them in a house and let them go on “blind dates” to see if anyone could find true love based on an emotional connection. That’s right, they couldn’t see each other while “dating.” They would go into these cozy pods and build connections with one another by conversing through a wall. They never saw each other. Before the time was up, they had to decide if they wanted to get engaged with someone they connected with and then they would walk down the aisle weeks later to say, “I Do.”

We were on hand to watch the Weddings (the final episodes) with the cast in Atlanta, so we got to ask the pressing questions we needed to know after damn near throwing our wine and phone at the TV every other episode.

Yup, The Hamiltons (adorbs!) are still living happily ever after.  And thank God at least one couple made sense on this show.

While most of the couples didn’t last, there were two couples who actually tied the knot: Lauren Speed married Cameron Hamilton and Amber Pike married Matt Barnett (that last couple was and still is a DOOZY).

We can't lie, we were shocked to see Sex & Sephora Amber & Barnett tie the knot and still be together chile.

During the show, Lauren shared how Cameron was the first white man she had ever been with. Meanwhile, Cameron shared he was in a serious relationship for years with a black woman before Lauren, so he was well aware of the struggles an interracial couple would face.

On the show, Lauren said she wanted to be as authentic as possible – even down to her wearing her bonnet in the bed with him at night – because she really wanted to see if this “experiment” would work.

Well, it did for her (also because she's a WHOLE catch, and so is he). And now she’s dropping gems, specifically to brown girls like her, about finding your soul mate.

YBF correspondent Erena caught up with Mr. & Mrs. Hamilton during the series finale screening in Atlanta and here’s what she told us:

Take notes ladies.

        View this post on Instagram

                  Right before this experience, I was just at the point where I had given up on the fairytale. Feeling like we sell little girls these dreams of a Prince Charming that doesn’t really exist. Clearly God had the last laugh. I was open minded entering this experience honestly never expecting to fall in love and become the happiest I’ve ever been all while being recorded for the world to see. When I said Cameron looked like a Prince I meant it... he to me embodied everything I had dreamed of in my fairytale... Kind, smart, loving, selfless, brave could make me laugh and cry all in one conversation... but most importantly made me feel valued and loved. Of course like anything in life we are humans and not without struggle. But as you mature you learn that the struggles are what strengthen you and help you realize what needs more care. Im excited to continue this next chapter with you Mr. Hamilton. Us against the world. Bonnie and Clyde (minus the shoot up) #LoveIsBlind currently streaming on @Netflix @lajoyphotographyllc

A post shared by Lauren Speed (@need4lspeed) on Mar 2, 2020 at 3:30pm PST

  By the way, the Hamiltons have a YouTube Page coming down the pipeline soon:

        View this post on Instagram

                  Ummmm so we did a thing! @cameronreidhamilton and @need4lspeed got with me to take some amazing photos for their brand new YouTube Page! Yes you heard me right! They have a new YouTube page all about them! Subscribe to their new page and my page for updated videos and photos! Full video link in bio! . . Link in bio for the full video! . . . Photo: @lajoyphotographyllc Video: @iamteko Graphics: @thechloebrand . . . #lajoyphotography #loveisblind #loveisblindnetflix #laurenandcameron #atlphotographer #lifestylephotographer #lifestylephotoshoot #atlentrepreneurs #youtubers #girlceo #photography #netflix #weddingphotography #weddinginspiration #americascouple #laurenandcameron

A post shared by LAJOY COX | Photographer (@lajoyphotographyllc) on Mar 2, 2020 at 1:01pm PST

  "Love Is Blind" star Carlton Morton was also in the mix. He became a breakout star of the show after he waited until AFTER he proposed to Diamond to tell her he was a bisexual man. The timing was extrmeely off and his excuses about why he waited to tell the woman he claimed to wanted to spend his life with were, to put it mildly, trash. THEN, he had the audacity to demean and degrade her as she was explaining to him why she was upset that he waited to reveal something that's a huge part of who he is and being her potential partner. Needless to say, she dipped on his a** - while quoting Beyonce's "Don't Hurt Yourself" - and never looked back.

Now, he claims he's no longer doing press because no one has been supporting him:

        View this post on Instagram

                  Thanks for the 3 of y’all who supported me in this. I feel alone and don’t want any of this life anymore. I’m fighting ALONE. And it HURTS.

A post shared by Carlton Morton (@carltonmorton) on Mar 3, 2020 at 1:55pm PST

  Hmph.

During the screening, TheYBF.com also spoke with married couple Amber & Barnett and how they felt right before the wedding - especially when Amber thought Barnett didn't want to marry her. Formerly engaged couple Damian Powers & Giannina Gibelli (he called it off at the alter!) were also in attendance and they shared how they're moving forward.

Peep all the clips below:

The Internet is ALL IN for the show and has been reacting to scenes from the episodes on social media.  And by reacting, we mean gagging.  Below are some reactions: 

  when Cameron looked in Lauren's eyes and said "I promise i will take care of you baby" #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/RO5gxb4sRD

— Bimbzy Jay (@ladybimbzey) February 28, 2020

Lauren swearing and then apologising to the pastor #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/jZQdCg6fZd

— alot of people will be scared (@its_minnie3) February 28, 2020

Just finished the love is blind finale. Thanks Cameron and Lauren for carrying THEE season on your necks #loveisblind pic.twitter.com/zwjEhQIFuN

— zamzam (@itszamzam_) February 28, 2020

When Giannina comes back from running away and stares at Damian. #LoveIsBlind #loveisblindnetflix #loveisblindfinale pic.twitter.com/CgYpSnM2Ww

— BECK - Queen of Tron (@I_Dream_Data) February 28, 2020

Me watching all the couples break up, but Lauren and Cameron staying together #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/5QedMwuNQ6

— Mara (@marasantanaaa) February 28, 2020

When Cameron told Lauren “I promise I’m going to take care of you baby” #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/bBtZiOgR7u

— mamba forever (@dioruadore) February 28, 2020

Mark’s mom when Jessica was coming down the aisle #loveisblindfinale #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/1Vhtsnw2P5

— Laige Pindsey (@iironicaa) February 28, 2020

Me watching the wedding episode of #loveisblind after all the other times I’ve been shooketh in the past hour. #laurenandcameron I ship them so hard I can’t pic.twitter.com/aNXpPm2bb4

— jbrooksie27 (@jbrooksie271) February 28, 2020

Ok this what I be waiting on #laurenandcameron pic.twitter.com/tiFoGiXUFq

— Whitty (@WhitneyLeola) February 28, 2020

Me yesterday: I'd never be the white man's whore!

Me today: *watching #laurenandcameron getting married*#loveisblindnetflix #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/IAnXroTsOv

— Wakanda fresh h*ll is this? (@DaWakandaTarget) February 27, 2020

Lauren and Cameron’s wedding is out.... I’m ready to cry on the tube #LoveIsBlind #laurenandcameron pic.twitter.com/tX5h2wu4Mw

— spam account (@GRAYVSGREY) February 27, 2020

Cameron and Lauren watching their Instagram followers go up and people asking for a spin off. Awww yeah #LoveIsBlind #loveisblindnetflix #laurenandcameron pic.twitter.com/UqNpPTsRMa

— LBoogie (@lplockkk) February 27, 2020

PUT ON YOUR GOWNS, SLIPPERS, PEARLS, JAMMIES, TUXEDOS OR WHATEVER AND HEAD TO THE LIVING ROOM. The ceremonies BEGIN IN 50 MINUTES!!! #LaurenAndCameron #LoveIsBlindNetfix pic.twitter.com/g7lyq6QJAB

— Kels (@zaynlove2016) February 27, 2020

Me talking to everyone about #LoveIsBlind even though they don’t watch the show pic.twitter.com/WQH5ReWlXm

— J. (@j_goic) February 22, 2020

Me trying to figure out who are these other people on the Cameron and Lauren show?? #LoveIsBlind #netflix pic.twitter.com/oy52BSbpiL

— Jasmyn Alexis (@itsjasmynalexis) February 20, 2020

Fast forwarding through everyone else on #loveisblind so I can just watch Lauren and Cameron! The best connection on any TV dating show I’ve seen in awhile!!! #LoveIsBlind #LoveIsBlindNetflix #Netflix #LaurenandCameron pic.twitter.com/JLN7KSYbbn

— Housewife Hoe (@brav_hoequeen) February 17, 2020

me, before watching love is blind: i want a black ass husband black ass kids black ass family me, after watching #loveisblind: pic.twitter.com/FF4czO1kNI

— jess (@tv_jessica_) February 22, 2020

me welcoming people as they slowly trickle into the Love is Blind fandom pic.twitter.com/OMq9yWoC7G

— Nick Morrow (@NRMorrow) February 25, 2020

When Cameron tells Lauren he’s gonna take care of her #LoveIsBlind pic.twitter.com/0dLlHRluyi

— Knock off Meg the Stallion  (@moniemeetsworld) February 28, 2020

The "Love Is Blind" reunion begins streaming on Netflix this Thursday, March 5th. Catch the spicy sneak peek below: 

  *Pours wine in preparation*

Photos: Splash/Getty Images for Netflix

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/03/03/%E2%80%98love-is-blind%E2%80%99-star-lauren-speed-wants-brown-girls-to-know-this-about-finding-your-soul-

[simplemlmsponsoring]

New Post has been published on https://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/copywriting/are-your-free-trial-emails-making-you-look-desperate-heres-how-to-fix-that/

Are Your Free Trial Emails Making You Look Desperate? Here’s How to Fix That

A SaaS free trial starts like any relationship – full of hope, dreams and possibilities.

Your prospect starts a trial and gladly opens your welcome email.

She wonders what marvellous, mind-reading revelations she’ll find in your onboarding sequence. (“Please let this be the product that gets me!”)

But then… she takes a moment or two away from you. Other commitments take priority. Although she likes your product, she’s forgetting about you – she’s not sure you’re The One. Plus, her friend just started seeing this other SaaS product, and she’s all “It’s sooooo beautiful” and why should she get a beautiful UI? Suddenly your “rich with utility” app isn’t quite so appealing. I mean, it’s a nice product, but it doesn’t make her eyes all

.

She’s losing interest in you.

She hopes you’ll just kinda go away. In a week or two, communication will cease. It’ll be like you never even met.

But you’re not gonna let her go so easily. After all, she was into you, like, two weeks ago. Maybe she just needs to hear from you more. So you start:

Internet-stalking her with retargeting ads Pushing messages at her friends and social network followers Sending her passive-aggressive don’t-leave-me emails like this:

Desperate, right?

The two of you only saw each other briefly. What’s all this “fall in love” talk?

The 2 Act-of-Desperation Mistakes SaaS Teams Are Making with Free Trial Emails

SaaS teams believe a trial signup equals a storybook romance.

They want to solve your problems and encourage you to date them take the right step to grow your business. SaaS businesses aim to win your love and affection by giving giving giving giving. Because giving is good, right? Users like it. They keep saying they like it.

Nobody stays with you because you’re a big ol’ giver. Yet SaaS teams do all this giving. And 90% of their trial users dump them.

Without a word of explanation. Just… dumped. 

After working with dozens of startups on their email copy, here’s what I’ve identified as the core of what SaaS marketers are getting wrong.

1. Interest ≠ Infatuation

For some reason, SaaS teams are counting on the idea that a new user went into a sealed room with their free trial for 15, 30 or 60 days, and in that time they fell madly in love with the product. 

If The Bachelor taught us anything, it’s that even a sealed room can’t create love.

Except real life is not a sealed room.

The reality is your free-trial user signs up for a trial… and then heads back into a massive, endlessly explorable digital and physical world, filled with rock-climbing classes and sangria-on-patios and deadlines and Facebook and existing processes and people and shiny distractions and shitty distractions. Within minutes of signing up for a free trial, everyone but the most insanely passionate trial users (who require almost no work to convert anyway) will go off and do something else. That’s a problem.

2. And the solution isn’t in your data

Startups look to the data! Growth-stage businesses look to the data! Everyone looks to the data!

But when you do, you don’t find answers. You find that your funnel is, depressingly, more of an inverted pyramid than a wide-mouthed funnel. Your cohort analyses are… sad. All the data sliced all the ways leaves SaaS marketers like you scratching ye olde head, wondering what’s wrong and how to fix what’s wrong.

Because here’s the thing: your trial users are interested.

But here’s the problem: SaaS companies have yet to crack the nut on how to convert interest into 1) activation, 2) revenue and 3) retention.

And while you could try other things, emails are your least expensive and most reliable option. I’ve seen them in action. And the fixes are simple enough that you should address your emails immediately.

So here’s how to make your free trial emails turn interest into infatuation into income.

First: Accept that your free trial emails, as they are today, are almost certainly chasing away money

When I first started consulting, I considered using a CRM to keep track of my leads. So I signed up for a free trial of Pipedrive to see what it could offer me vs. using email.

And the welcome email wasn’t the best I’ve ever received, but I was hopeful Pipedrive could help me organize who was in my client pipeline.

(Sidenote: Pipedrive is just an example. Nothing but love for their team!)

Check out the welcome email they sent me:

The webinar sounded good.

Was it actually good? I dunno – I didn’t end up going to it.

Life got in the way. Plus, I couldn’t get Pipedrive to work with my inbox without upgrading to a paid plan. So before I knew it, I hadn’t learned a thing about Pipedrive, I hadn’t started using it, and my free trial was ending. As my free trial came to a close, they sent me the email I mentioned above. Here it is again:

Let me pause for a moment to scratch the surface of the problems with that email:

Can we get a name in there? You know my name. I used it to create my account. You should use it to talk with me. That’s your opening line? Really? “This is just to remind you.” Ugh. Q: “Want to continue with Pipedrive?” A: Nope. Only using voice at the bitter end of the email…

So, sure, something like 50,000 people are in love with Pipedrive. Those folks converted in spite of that email. Congrats to Pipedrive.

But because you and I care a great deal about converting more trial users, let’s work on writing a better email.

And let’s start by stepping back a bit…

Behind the scenes of selling software (before the cloud)

Before the Internet, you had 2 ways to buy software.

If you were a consumer, it came in an unwieldy box from an electronics superstore like Circuit City (RIP!). Not much salesmanship there. If you were a corporation, you had a designated sales person who got you to sign a multi-year contract. Meaning an individual could assess a company’s particular situation and use various tactics to get the sale.

Then web-hosted apps became a thing. And companies realized they could make more money if they charged customers on a subscription basis. Now users could access apps anywhere, as long as there was a browser and an Internet connection. Meaning companies could cut down on the costs associated with packaging and commissions to retail stores. And take home at least 60% of the gross margins. The venture capitalists showed up in droves.

But even before the cloud and free trials, the practice of giving away software for free has always been very popular. The only difference is the delivery mechanism. Remember the days of AOL CDs in your mailbox?

Seriously, how much did AOL spend on direct mail?

The marketing strategy for software has stayed constant, unfortunately. And here it is:

Hook users with a free sample, with the hope they like it so much they buy the full version.

Drug dealers have a similar marketing strategy. There’s just one difference. Drug dealers don’t hope you’ll like their product. They know.

The SaaS marketer’s strategy is filled with hope.

Hope is what you defer to when you can’t science the shit out of something. Hope is what you defer to when you don’t know what you’re doing. Hope kills businesses, ends sales, frustrates marketers – and frustrates prospects. Hope isn’t for closers. Yet it’s at the core of your acquisition strategy.

SaaS marketing isn’t hope marketing – those free trial emails have gotta close the sale

Consultant Alan Weiss describes four reasons someone might NOT buy your product:

No need – “It’s a neat tool, but it’s not necessary for what I’m trying to accomplish.” No money – “I can’t afford it because I’m a startup” or “I have too many other financial commitments more pressing than yours.” No urgency – “This problem you’re solving for me is necessary, but it’s not my top priority right now.” No trust – “I don’t believe you have my best interests in mind.”

No need, no money, no urgency – what’s the 4th reason people don’t buy? via @copyhackersClick To Tweet

Weiss is talking about winning six-figure management consulting contracts, but he claims it works for any product or service you’re selling. And he admits to flying halfway across the world to close a deal if it means overcoming one of these objections. Few SaaS startups are in a place to fly eight time zones over just to close a deal. I mean, you’re selling an app for $25/month.

Instead of frequent flyer miles to solve your conversion problems, you’ve got basically 2 things: a name and an email address. You’ve gotta work with those 2 resources – and not much more.

So here’s a killer opportunity you may not be leveraging as much as you could.

It’s the Trial Ending email, and here’s how you can make it rock.

Here are 3 easy steps to close better with your free-trial-ending emails

To persuade trial users to pay for your SaaS product, you should use the trial-ending emails to:

Emphasize what the user will miss out on by not upgrading to paid. Contrast the outcomes of upgrading vs. not upgrading. Provide a single call-to-action.

Here’s what I mean…

1: Emphasize what the user will miss out on by not upgrading to paid

There’s nothing that motivates people more than telling someone what they’ll miss out on. In psychology, it’s called loss aversion.

So ask yourself:

What will users miss out on if they don’t upgrade to a paid plan?

To give you a few ideas, think of the key features in your product. But instead of naming them off in the email, turn them into benefits that change the way the user was doing something before.

The benefits of the feature should outweigh the cost of the product. And be painful enough that a user has to stop and think, “Will I miss out if I don’t grab my credit card?”

To demonstrate, let’s look at this email promoting Sumo Pro. Although a cart abandonment email, Sumo does a good job of telling me what I’ll lose if I don’t buy Sumo Pro soon.

Notice how Sumo stacks the benefits of upgrading to the Pro plan. They could have just said I’ll miss out on the heat map features. Instead, they point out that without Pro, I won’t know how engaged visitors are on my website.

And if a prospect is using their website as a way to capture leads…they’re likely to believe Sumo is THE solution to their conversion problems.

Plus, there’s nothing like a 10% discount to entice on-the-fence users to sign up in the next 24 hours. Not necessary, but it’s something extra for the user to lose out on.

2: Contrast the outcomes of upgrading vs not upgrading

Mid-century ad executive Rosser Reeves (creator of the value prop!) was finishing up lunch in Central Park with a friend. They came across a homeless man sitting on a bench with a sign. The sign read:

“I am blind.”

Reeves bet his friend that he could make the homeless fellow more money by changing the words on his sign. With his revisions, the sign now read:

“It is springtime, and I am blind.”

The result? The homeless man’s panhandling success increased and Reeves won his bet.

But why?

Sometimes missing out on benefits isn’t enough. It might be a proven fact that your product’s feature has helped others. But sometimes it’s not enough to persuade the skeptical trial user. So you need to change their mindset. You need to illustrate what would happen to the user if they choose to pay for your product… and how life would be if they didn’t.

It wasn’t enough for prospects to know that the homeless man was blind. After all, only a few of them dropped coins into his bowl.

But because Reeves mentioned springtime, prospects suddenly realized the homeless man couldn’t see the blue skies, the sunshine and blooming flowers in Central Park. And for that reason, they were compelled to give him money when they would have ignored him.

Here’s how to use contrast in your trial-ending email

To apply this in your trial ending email, consider how your product can transform your user’s outlook on business… or how terrible their life would be without your product.

Or in the words of Aaron Orendorff, ask yourself one of the following questions:

What heaven will this email deliver my subscriber unto?

OR

What hell will this email save my subscriber from?

For example, here’s a trial ending email from Honeybadger, an error monitoring service for Ruby apps.

It’s cool that Honeybadger logged 220 error notices. But think about why engineering teams bother with error monitoring in the first place.

Plus, reminding the user that they now have to pay to track bugs? Come on. There’s so much hell this app could save a user from! Though the majority of software errors are a nuisance, there are ones that are downright catastrophic.

 Let’s look at the version I rewrote below.

Any software developer worth a damn would do their best to avoid writing buggy software. Plus, an unscheduled meeting with high-level managers to discuss how your work caused weekend profits to plummet? If that’s not your idea of hell, I don’t know what is.

3: Provide a single call-to-action to upgrade

What’s the next step a user needs to take to upgrade from trial to paid?

Dan Pink calls this an off-ramp. You may recall Pink’s study of a college food drive: explicit directions prompted more donations from groups of individuals who had never donated to a food drive than groups of people who had a history of giving.

Translation? You can convince the most resistant people to do something if you make it clear what it is that you want them to do.

You can convince the most resistant people to do X if you make it clear HOW to do X, via…Click To Tweet

Mulesoft’s trial-ending email doesn’t make it clear what I should do next. Take a look:

Problems:

My trial is over. If I wanted to watch a webinar, I should have seen it before this email. Now you want me to read a case study? I have to talk to a human being to extend my free trial? Pass…

Compare this with DocuSign’s email, where it’s obvious what they want me to do: Upgrade my account.

And they do an excellent job of reminding the user what they’ll miss out on, which is making it easy for others to do business with them.

Think about the number of steps your prospect has to go through to convert / actually pay for your SaaS. If you add six links to your email asking the user to do different things, they’re going to get confused. And maybe start to wonder if paying for the product is the right thing to do. And while gaining Likes on Facebook or Follows on Twitter might be a nice-to-have… your goal is to move that trial user into a paying customer – so don’t lose sight of that.

Two Ways To Get a Response From Passive Trial Users

What about those trial users who don’t convert even after you’ve optimized your trial-ending email copy?

Keep in mind that these non-converters have already spent time interacting with your app in some way. They have an opinion. If you’ve written the most persuasive trial ending email and they STILL haven’t converted, send them a trial expired email.

Here are two ways to go about it:

Ask for advice. Get them to do something (that doesn’t require money)

Lemme show you now.

1: Ask for advice

If you never ask, you’ll never know what keeps your prospect from buying, and you’ll never figure out their level of interest.

According to Robert Cialdini, if you ask a person for advice on what you could do better, it puts them in:

“A merging state of mind, stimulating a linking of one’s own identity with another party.”

Translation: If you can get a person to think about the ways they would improve their business, it creates a bond. The bond may not result in becoming a paying customer, but you could possibly win them over by other means.

When free trial users finish up with Autopilot, Autopilot initiates a customer feedback survey that is explicit about how long it takes to complete: 60 seconds.

Thanks to this study, Autopilot found out:

“27% of our expired trialists don’t buy because they’re still evaluating their options. Us asking both nudges them back into the product and gives us insight into conversion barriers. It’s a win-win.”

A 60-second survey might not solve your business problems, but it can give you the motivation to undertake more in-depth customer research. If you want a technique for that, take a look at the Jobs-to-Be-Done framework.

2: Get them to do something (that doesn’t require money)

So what if they didn’t buy right now? It doesn’t mean they will never buy it. There are plenty of no-cost ways for them to engage with you, too. Neil Patel suggests other forms of action, like reading a blog post or replying to an email.

The call-to-action doesn’t always need to be Upgrade Now. But it’s important to get the prospect to commit to taking smaller steps that could lead to an eventual purchase.

Ruben from Bidsketch does this by sending blog content to his free trial users who don’t end up converting:

Bidsketch might not be the proposal software solution for you right now, but they want you to become a better entrepreneur. So go on, read their blog post on emotional intelligence. The more you read from them, the more you might grow to like them – and people ultimately do business with people (and businesses) they like.

How to fix your 90% free trial failure rate

You could have all the ad money in the world and still trying to figure out your trial-to-paying conversion rate – when all you may need to do is rewrite your trial ending emails.

It’s a no-brainer task that you can knock out within a few hours of reading this. To recap, here’s what to add to your writing to-do list…

In your trial-ending email, be sure to:

Emphasize the benefits the user would miss out on. Contrast the outcomes. Provide a single call-to-action.

For your trial-expired email, you can:

Ask them for advice. Get them to do something else (that doesn’t require money).

And keep this in mind: If users sign up for your trial, there is a little part of them that wants to make your product work.

So choose your (email) words wisely. Because it could be the thing keeping your SaaS product from turning interest to infatuation to income.

~Sophia

The post Are Your Free Trial Emails Making You Look Desperate? Here’s How to Fix That appeared first on Copywriting for startups and marketers.

Read more: copyhackers.com

[airsay58259]

A Flash fanfic: Mockingbird

Context: post Flash 3x16 and 17, the musical. It didn’t air but well, I only need to reference the singing and use the certainty that Barry will get his ass kicked a bit.

Happy birthday Ruth, aka frostyregal aka lobstromonos aka @roastytoastyprincesss (stop changing URLs??), my first friend in the Flash fandom, the immensely talented writer I one day harassed after she ended a chapter on a terrible, rude cliffhanger on ff.net and still became my friend more than two years ago. You always get the stories I never finish and only complain every now and then, so there you go. Started and finished this one for you. Love you :)

--

The Music Meister had been stopped and with this win, team Supergirl had gone home. Team Flash didn’t celebrate like they would have before. There was nothing to celebrate. Jay was trapped in a prison without walls, forced to relive his worst nightmares over and over again, paying for their mistakes.

The Wests left together, relieved Barry was safe and sound, but having their own wounds to heal now. From the hospital bed Caitlin had ordered him to spend the night in, Barry watched his friends leave one after the other, his brain not failing to remind him of the very same scene happening just a few days ago after he had lost Wally.

Caitlin hadn't left him then and Barry was happy to see her return after hugging Cisco goodnight.

“What a day”, Caitlin started as she entered the med bay again.

“Tell me about it”, the speedster whispered while instinctively touching his sore chest. “The Music Meister wasn’t lying, what happens in his dream world does not stay there.”

“Don’t you mean… sing me about it?” Caitlin asked with a straight face.

The teasing tone in her voice didn’t escape Barry. He shook his head with an amused smile, her laughter warming up the entire room. He couldn’t help but laugh as well. She always managed to make him laugh, no matter how terrible he felt.

“We both know it’s best if you stick to talking”, Barry shot back.

“Barry Allen!” Caitlin yelled offended and -gently- hitting his arm but leaving her hand there. “Let’s see how well you sing after I freeze you from head to toes”.

Barry raised both his hands in defeat, a smile on his face. It felt good to have fun. His smile turned into a grin as he recalled their karaoke together. Alcohol didn’t help her that night. He was curious to hear her singing sober one day.

His grin disappeared as fast as it had appeared. He had heard sing again. The dreadful memory of his recent time in the speed force took over his mind. Caitlin must have noticed his sudden distress as she quickly removed her hand from his arm and took a step back.

“I am so sorry Barry, I shouldn’t have joked about my powers and hurting you.” Caitlin started, clenching her fists at her own stupidity, but was quickly interrupted.

“No, no it wasn’t you. That was funny, I swear.” Barry reassured her. “I just remembered something and… and nevermind, I am fine. I promise. Thank you for making me feel better, even for a few seconds.” He punctuated his words with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Caitlin stared at him, her concern growing.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Barry…”

The speedster sighed. He didn’t want to tell her about what he saw while in the speed force. She knew about Ronnie, that was more than enough.

“Barry, I know when you’re not telling me something.” Caitlin poked his shoulder. “Come on.”

“Cait,” he looked up to her, “you don’t… you don’t want to know, trust me.”

“I can see whatever it is, it’s eating you. And it’s about me. So how about we skip the battle we both know I’ll win and you tell me now?”

Barry shouldn’t have reacted the way he did, he should be better at hiding his emotions by now. This was on him. Now he could either lie and come up with a half-baked story or tell her about the speed force's vision and break her heart even more than it already is.

“Look,” Barry started, his voice shaken, “when the speed force was speaking to me through Ronnie… you were there. And you were singing.” Caitlin raised her eyebrows, encouraging him to continue after such an odd statement. He paused, pondering what his next words would be. “That’s it,” Barry lied, “and obviously you weren’t drunk so that’s where my mind went earlier.”

“Okay…” Caitlin wasn’t sure what to make of this revelation. “The speed force works in mysterious ways I guess. What was I singing?”

“Mockingbird song.” Barry’s mouth answered before his brain could do anything about it. Damn it, he thought.

“The lullaby…?” Caitlin asked, now utterly confused.

Barry considered speeding out of the room right there and then. Maybe running back in time to thirty seconds ago.

“Yes,” he admitted, defeated. “I didn’t… I didn’t want to tell you, Cait.” Barry stared into her eyes, begging her to back out but he realized she already understood. Of course she did, I wasn’t exactly subtle, Barry thought. He waited for her to say something, anything. She didn’t. He wasn’t sure if she was waiting for him to speak or if she was just lost in her thoughts. “Caitlin?” the speedster asked tentatively, raising a bit so he wasn’t lying on his back anymore. He winced at the pain but he didn’t care.

“You saw Ronnie and I was there too...” Barry had to lean in even more to hear Caitlin’s small voice, “with a baby?” she asked, her eyes finally meeting his. She wasn’t crying but Barry could see a single tear form in the corner of her eyes.

“Yes,” he stated, his heart heavy. He didn’t want to let the silence take over. “I don’t even understand why”, he started quickly, “every single person I saw in the speed force existed. Eddie, Snart, Ronnie, Joe and Iris, you…” Barry wanted her to say something. She didn’t. “The visions were just meant to mess with my mind, Cait. It doesn’t mean anything more.”

Caitlin suddenly took a couple of steps back from the bed, turned around and hurried out of the room, her hand covering her mouth. Barry stared at the door for a few seconds, debating following her or giving her space. Once again he caused her pain. It seemed like the only thing he knew how to do at this point.

Barry lied back on the bed and closed his eyes. He managed to drive away the one person who stayed by his side lately. Clenching his fists and gritting his teeth at the pain, he rolled himself out of bed and landed on his sore feet. Music Meister did a real number on him. However Barry didn’t care. Caitlin didn’t left him alone when he was at his worst, he wasn’t about to let her alone with the image of the family she could’ve had, if not for him. He started walking toward the one place he knew he’d find his friend.

Sure enough Caitlin was in the pipeline, her eyes red, tears rolling down her cheeks and her knees close to her chest, rocking herself. Barry’s heart broke a little more. He sat next to her in silence, his arms enveloping her. They stayed like for a little while, Barry wasn’t sure how long. Caitlin broke the silence.

“It wasn’t a trick to mess with your head,” she started without looking up to him.

“What?” Barry asked, confused.

“You said you didn’t understand the vision. Everyone you saw was alive at some point, right?”

“Yeah…”

Caitlin used her hand to wipe off the tears clouding her eyes and moved away from her friend’s embrace, just far enough so she could look at him in the eyes but not enough for Barry to remove the hand he had on her back. She opened her mouth to speak a few times but couldn’t get the words out. Barry didn’t understand but wasn’t about to rush her.

“The day we lost Ronnie and Eddie,” Caitlin started with a resolution she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep for long, “I lost someone else.”

Barry’s heart skipped a beat. His eyes went from staring into hers to her body. He quickly looked back up again, reading her unspoken words in her eyes.

“Cait…” his voice was deep. He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay,” she told him, her hand taking his. A little voice in Barry’s mind told him it should have been the other way around. “No one knew except Iris. We were together when it happened, I didn’t…” Caitlin paused, remembering the day both women had to choose coffins that'd remain empty. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant when the doctor told me why I was bleeding.”

“I’m so sorry, Cait.” Barry was crying. He knew he should say more but his mind was spinning, trying to remember the days that had followed his friends’ death. He had refused to see anyone, didn’t even attend Eddie’s public funeral or the one the group held secretly for Ronnie, a man already dead to the world.

“Don’t be.” Caitlin ordered more than she suggested. “I blamed myself and didn’t want anyone else to know. I barely allowed myself to think about it. It didn’t feel real, you know? I shoved that memory down so deep, gosh.”

Caitlin buried her face in Barry’s neck. He immediately wrapped his arms around her again. He wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay but they both knew it was a lie. All they could do was keep going, hoping things wouldn't don’t get worse. And so they silently wept together, thinking about the persons they lost and the ones they never got to know.

“She was beautiful.” Barry said after a while.

“What?” Caitlin asked, her voice broken. “She?”

“Yes. Beautiful like her mother.”

Caitlin smiled.

--

La fin.

Sorry for any typos I left. Will update when I post it to AO3/FF.net maybe. Joyeux anniversaire Ruth ! It’s still the 19th in France. #itcounts

[therealdragonnerdagain]

Unfortunately for the author of this blog post, I did cringe while I was reading this. As a black person and a avid writer, I cringed hard (sorry).

I cringed because white people are so removed from this issue, they are baffled by it. I cringed because the writer of this blog post questions whether or not black writers even exist (sigh). I cringed because the fact that so many people are baffled by this issue means things will likely never change for me. If there is ever real progression toward anti-blackness, I doubt I will live to see it.

And no. Fucking Obama doesn't count. He's not proof of a post-racial society; he's proof of a racist society. You lost the ability to use him as "proof" when Trump got in office.  

I think it's sad that publishing has a race issue but 1) doesn't know it and 2) doesn't know how to fix it.

The problem was immediately obvious to me.

It's not that writers of color don't exist. It's that white literary agents and publishers don't think such books can make money, so they don't sign writers of color and they don't publish them.

And if they DO sign writers of color, they only sign one or two tokens, while completely comfortable signing several white authors because “white authors sell!”

And it's like this because of institutional racism. Because we live in a society where white children are groomed to not see people of color as PEOPLE. They see us as angry, ghetto two dimensional caricatures. (white people reading this right now are probably imagining some ghetto neck rolling woman is typing this) And because white people can not see us as human beings, they can not relate to stories about dragons and wizards where a person of color is -- gasp! -- the central character instead of a white person.

If you need to see firsthand evidence, google "Roswell race controversy" "Hunger Games race controversy" or "Earthsea race controversy" OR "Harry Potter Cho Chang race controversy" OR "Star Wars race controversy"

Time and AGAIN, white readers have shown that they are too racist to imagine people of color in genre fiction and are too racist to even relate to characters of color. They can't do it because -- thanks to institutional racism -- they've been taught not to see us as people but as subhuman inferiors.

White people have been taught this lesson well. Google the racist reaction of many whites to The Wiz. They instantly deemed The Wiz as a "pc disaster" because things with people of color in it must be inferior. (Except, not. The Wiz with Diana Ross and Micheal Jackson was a fucking classic) And then, of course, they bitch about something being all black and how it's "racist" when the existence of something all black can not oppress white people. Not when white people can look literally anywhere else and see themselves in fiction. Also, we already had an all white Wiz. It's called The Wizard of Oz. And no. People of color don't see it as "racist."  

If there aren't a lot of black authors, well, once again, we have institutional racism to thank. It's not that people of color can't dream and imagine. It's that we're oppressed and don't have the same opportunities as white people. Growing up, I didn't have my own computer. I wrote all my stories longhand on sheets of line paper. I didn't even get access to a computer until I was nineteen, when I finally had my own money. And the only reason I had my own money? Because I joined the military. The reason I joined the military? Because I was a black person on the highschool-to-prison pipeline. I lived in a place that was so intensely racist, white people would not hire black people for jobs. My options were to become a criminal or join the military (not options really) so like most black people, I joined the service.

Racism isn't exclusive to one aspect of life. It spreads its nasty fingers into every aspect of life. It's the reason why white people are where the money's at -- because white people hire each other for all the jobs, white people give each other all the opportunities, white people have all the social and economic power. Every literary agency I go to is full of white agents with Harvard degrees who've had every opportunity in the world, from trips to Paris to internships I could never land while at my first college. There's a reason for that. You got it yet?

A lack of authors of color is not the root of the problem, it's the symptom of a bigger problem.

Now comes the question: what can you do to help?

Fight for people of color. Push back against the institutionalized hatreds that actually benefit you and make life beneficial for someone else. Actually teach other white people, because lord knows white people don’t listen to people of color.

Teach your children that people of color are human beings, not stereotypes and caricatures with bad and bizarre hair. Yes, something as simple as that will change future generations, so that black people can actually get jobs based on personal merit and not how well they assimilate into white culture. So that black people can wear their hair the way it grows out of their fucking head without losing a job, being treated like something behind glass, or being sent home from school.

You don't have to go out of your way to hire writers of color just because they are of color, but it would be nice if you didn't assume their stories would be worthless and unmarketable just for having brown people in them.

Stop labeling everything written by black authors as "black fiction." Toni Morrison didn't write her stories for black people. She wrote stories about black people for ANYONE to enjoy. You saw it the other way because you're so racist, you can't even relate to her characters.

I write stories about people of color for EVERYONE to enjoy. The same way everyone enjoys fucking LOTR, Harry Potter, and other popular crap about white characters. So why is my story being sequestered away to black fiction? It shouldn't be. It isn't "ethnic fiction." It's just fucking fiction.

Stop whitewaashing our characters. Stop turning our talent away because you already have that token black author. Stop being afraid to lose money.

Stop being afraid.

At the end of The Wiz, there's a very beautiful ballet sequence. The slaves of the Wicked Witch are all big-butted, nappy-headed stereotypes. When the Wicked Witch dies, the slaves shed their skin, discarding the offensive caricatures they've been made into and embracing their beauty as human beings of worth.

The slaves in The Wiz are celebrating their sudden freedom to be completely valued as HUMAN BEINGS. They no longer have to hear that they are ugly and inferior. They no longer have to toil away in the darkness, hidden behind racist stereotypes and caricatures of the white idea of blackness.

The slaves in The Wiz are finally free. Because freedom is being treated like an equal, like a human being.

There is a difference between saying a people is equal and TREATING them like equals (this is what I was talking about in regards to the Constitution, Hancock fans).

Treat us like human beings. You know, the same way you treat white writers.