#saw a picture of tk and carlos on top of the car and had Thoughts

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

wait hear me out. if the radiation caused something to happen visually (like the aurora borealis) and we get parallels to everyone looking up at it. hear me out

[loveisharderthanitlooks]

911 Lone Star rewatch - S01E10

TK breaks up with Carlos and the universe says Hell No.

Despite Michelle telling Carlos she never goes to the homeless encampment alone, she's at the homeless encampment alone.

Judd slaps his own face because he's surprised he's trying to make Owen talk about his feelings.

I really wish TK and Carlos had actually worked together in this rescue and it wasn't just TK with Carlos directing traffic. The whole 'we make a pretty good team' would have actually made sense then.

This show pretty much implies that everyone on the International Space Station dies and then just never mentions it again.

In this entire season, we learning nothing about Carlos. Not one thing.

My kingdom for the scene where TK and Carlos talk before Carlos shows up at the fire house.

Somebody I follow on Twitter tweeted a picture of TK and Carlos lying on top of Carlos's car at the end of the episode and when I saw it, I thought to myself, what show is this and where can I watch it? And that's how I came to 911 Lone Star.

The Iris Plothole: AKA I count all the times Carlos definitely wasn't married to Iris when they wrote this scene.

Michelle finds Iris, and she doesn't inform Carlos, he doesn't come see her at the hospital. There is a reference that Iris knows Carlos but nothing to indicate there's anything more than casual friendship. Not even that they're best friends.

Michelle telling Owen about finding Iris but not Carlos is bad enough anyway since he was the one helping her look for Iris, but it's a terrible writing decision if the writers thought Carlos and Iris were married.

Carlos's supposedly dead wife has just been found, Michelle watches him get together with TK and isn't like ' hey I need to tell you something real quick'.

Running total (24)

[child-of-of-the-sunshine]

Something Different

Chapter 9

Christmas ☃️🎄 chapter yeah I'm so excited for this. It's December and Christmas, snow 🌨️❄️ okay sorry I love winter

"So what are you guys doing for Christmas," Hen asked

"Hm going Texas might fight someone," I said

"No you are fighting anyone," Buck said

"Well then Billy shouldn't be a dick," I said

"Who's Billy?" Hen asked

"A not so not so nice that tried to get her dad fired," Buck said

"Why," Hen asked

"Because my dad didn't tell the department he had lung cancer," I said

"Oh," Hen said

"Yeah and then krama was bitch," I said

"How so?" She asked

"He was stuck by like lighting," I said

We got called out for a call after the call I started texting tk and Carlos in the group chat

2 days later me and Buck had finished packing for Texas and loaded up the truck the next morning we left and headed to Texas for Christmas we switched off on driving for last part I drove and we happened to get pulled over in Austin

"Even," I said

"What?" He asked waking up

"I'm getting pulled over," I said

I pulled over and messaged tk, I saw Carlos walking up to the truck, I rolled down my window and got the stuff he would need

"California," he said

"I know the drill," I said

"You sound little like my boyfriend s sister," he said

" I wonder why Carlos," I said

He looked at me

" And here I thought I would be pulling over someone that wasn't tk's sister," he said

"haha," I said

"You get warning this time," he said

My phone started ring it was tk, Carlos went back to his car and pulled away and answered tk

"How do you get pulled over," he asked

"Tk simple," I said

"Get to dad's," he said

"Tk your being bossy," Buck said

"I'm pissed billy won't re build the fire house," To said

"What," I said

"Wait Billy won't rebuild?" Buck asked

"Nope he say there not enough money," Tk said

"there has money going somewhere," I said

"Oh yeah there is," Tk said

I started to drive

"Tk I also do know how get people to," I said

"Yeah the Strand charm doesn't work on him," Tk said

"Oh I wasn't talking about that," I said

"Don't get arrested," Buck said

"What," Tk said

"it's a joke at the 118," I said

I hung up with Tk and drove to my dad's house when I got there I saw a few cars

"Damn is there house party?" Buck asked

"Nope," I said

"My dad's car, and Tk's," I said

We got out of the truck and got our stuff and Remy and walked into my dad's house

"Yo," I yelled

"Yolo," Tk yelled back

"I have your four legged niece," I said

Soon tk was picking up Remy from the ground

"Wow," Buck said

"Hi Remy, your favorite uncle is here to cuddle and love you," Tk said

"Should I be offended," I asked

"Oh hi Ace," Tk said

"Wow no how the heck how are, how is wedding planning going, you have human niece or nephew for me yet, no damn," I said

"I already know the answer to t the third one, and first one," Buck said

"I'm good tk, no baby yet, wedding planning is great," I said

we heard the front door open

"babe," Carlos asked

" Carlos can arrest my brother for being more worried about the dog then me?" I asked

"Nope," Carlos said

Carlos grabbed a bottle of water and sat in the container top

"Now I have to the ring," Carlos said

"IT SO PRETTY," I yelled

I walked over to Carlos and showed him

"Oh fancy," He said

"And on shift I wear it on my dog tags," I said

"How the hell did he pick this out?" Carlos asked

"Help from Eddie no joke," Buck said

"Why Eddie?" Tk asked

"Well he has done the whole pick out the ring. Also her best friend and has all pictures of rings she has sent him no joke," Buck said

"True Evan would ask to many questions of why I was sending them," I said

"Oh you don't think I could have picked," Buck asked waking up to me

"Stop my brother and his boyfriend are here," I said

He lifted my chin up his finger

"uh huh," Buck said

"Stop," I said

"I will but know I know how to get to you," Buck whispered

"What did I just walk into?" Owen asked

"Teasing," Tk said

"Why?" Owen asked

"that is a long story," Carlos said

"Not that long," I said

There will be a part two

[howtosingit]

Fic: I Just Wanted You to Know (This is Me Trying)

“My words shoot to kill when I’m mad / I have a lot of regrets about that / and maybe I don’t quite know what to say / but I’m here in your doorway”

*

Carlos makes a nice dinner, TK leaves in a hurry. But then, he comes back. (Immediately follows the 1x02 disaster dinner, not canon compliant.)

2.4K | Also on AO3

A/N: Taylor Swift made me write this. Title from “This is Me Trying,” my favorite song from Folklore. 

------

Carlos is nearly elbow-deep in soapy water as he scrubs forcefully on the baking dish in the sink. He knows that he could easily let it soak overnight, or put it in the dishwasher, but the nearly-mindless task helps him to calm down, and refocus. Besides, it may be nearly one in the morning, but he’s not falling asleep anytime soon.

His steel blue shirt still hangs open from when TK tried to rip it off of him only an hour before, reminding him that he should try to find the buttons before he steps on one when he’s barefoot. His mind is suddenly assaulted with the phantom feeling of lips on his neck, and he takes a deep breath, dropping the sponge into the water to tightly grip the counter in front of him. That’s the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now. 

He’s upset. Yes, at TK, for walking out without telling him what the fuck he did wrong. For acting like it was such a big deal for them to know something about each other besides what they look like when they come. For throwing his dinner and his feelings back in his face without any regard for what that would do to him.

But more than all of that, he’s mad at himself. He’s mad for always trying so hard, for always pushing people further than they want to go. He’s mad for letting the overwhelming feeling of a  connection that followed his hookup with TK drive him to force something deeper between them. He’s an attractive guy with a good job and a nice apartment and a cool car; that’s all men seem to want from him, and he should probably stop expecting anything else. 

It hurts. He’s 26-years-old, he’s known who he is since high school, and it’s not getting any easier. Living in Texas was never going to make being gay a walk in the park, but he doesn’t understand why he can’t find someone who’s willing to put in a little bit of effort. He can’t keep doing this casual string of hookups that feels endless, not when it leaves him feeling more like a shell of a person each and every time.

It felt different with TK. Carlos met him at work, for one. Here, he thought, is another man who gets it. Someone else who runs into dangerous situations because he wants to protect people. There was a relief, almost, of not having to worry about whether TK was only interested in him for his uniform, and he let that relief cloud his judgment, turning their brief and flirty interactions into the beginnings of something that was never meant to be. 

Carlos clenches his jaw, reaching back into the soapy water for the sponge. He can feel a slight headache coming on, probably from a combination of the lateness of the hour and the lack of food in his stomach. With a sigh, he gives up on the dishes, quickly drying his hands off on a dish towel. He’ll clean the rest of them in the morning, once he’s had a few hours of sleep. He moves towards the dining room table to grab his phone, when a knock on his front door stops him in his tracks.

He has no idea who would show up at his apartment at nearly one in the morning. For a moment, he hesitates, wondering how he should handle this. He lives in a nice neighborhood, and he’s not afraid of anybody who could be on his doorstep; on the other hand, an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night can only mean bad news, and Carlos feels his heart start to race as his adrenaline kicks in.  

He jumps a bit when his phone vibrates on the table next to him. Glancing down, he sees a text from the last person he ever expected to hear from again.

It’s me

Carlos swallows, his heart continuing to pound in his chest as he quickly moves towards the door. He pulls it open, his brows furrowing in complete confusion at the sight of the man before him.

TK stands against a background of darkness, his yellow hoodie bright in the light pouring through the open door. Carlos takes him in, searching for any sign of injury or some other explanation for what’s going on. He notices TK’s hands tucked away inside the front pocket of his sweatshirt, the way he bites down on his bottom lip, and the puffiness around his red eyes.

“TK,” Carlos starts, his voice oddly blank. “What are you doing here?”

The man just stares back at him, his body clearly tense as his eyes shift to look everywhere but directly at him. He feels his own face harden, his frustration mounting at the way that this man makes him feel so damn much, and he’s just about to tell TK to go home when the other man breaks the silence, his voice thin.

“I was in the area and I saw that your light was still on.”

Carlos stares back at him, confusion clear on his face. “You left an hour ago, TK,” he reminds him, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he plants his feet in the doorway. 

“Yeah,” TK admits, and Carlos watches as his green eyes shift down towards his chest; unlike before, he does not let the feeling of TK’s gaze on him affect him. At least not too much. “I, um, I took a walk around, to cool off a bit,” he explains, gesturing towards something in the distance that Carlos can’t see. “You have a really nice park at the end of your street.”

“You mean the park that closed at 10?” Carlos asks, raising an eyebrow. “What is this, are you trying to get arrested or something?”

TK visibly swallows, ducking his head down at Carlos’s chastisement. The act of uncertainty softens the edge he’s feeling, and he takes a deep breath, letting go of some of the tension in his shoulders. 

“Do you want to come inside?” he asks, watching as TK’s head shoots up at the unexpected question. Carlos can’t help the slight smile that pulls at his lips; as much as he wishes it wasn’t the case, he finds TK to be incredibly endearing.

“No, no, that’s okay,” TK hurries to assure him, shaking his head. “It’s late, and I don’t want to keep bothering you. I just,” he huffs, tipping his head back to look up at the clear night sky, “I just really hated the idea of you going to bed angry.”

It’s a statement that doesn’t really make sense to Carlos. Why would TK care if he’s mad or not? But it also makes his stomach twist in a knot, the idea that maybe his initial impression of the firefighter wasn’t entirely incorrect sparking his curiosity. He can’t help but want to know more about this contradiction of a person. 

With a nod, Carlos steps forward onto his front walk, pulling the door closed behind him. The unexpected action causes TK to jump back, giving Carlos space to sit down on his front step. He brings his knees up to his chest, folding his arms on top of them, and stares straight ahead at TK’s shoes.

“I’m more upset than angry,” he admits, rubbing at his brow as he works out what he wants to say, “and most of what I’m feeling isn’t even about you. I mean, there’s a lot of confusion, which is definitely your fault, but the anger is more at myself.”

He sees TK shift in front of him, rocking from side-to-side, before he moves forward to take a seat next to Carlos. A sudden warmth flares up on Carlos’s right side at his proximity, but he tries his best to ignore it. 

“Why would you be angry at yourself?” TK asks gently, and Carlos can picture his face: his brown eyebrows furrowed in confusion above those soft, twinkling green eyes. He wants more than anything to look over at him, drink him in, but he knows he’s just asking for trouble if he does. So, instead, he continues to stare straight ahead.

“Most guys that I meet, they’re kind of just in it for sex,” he replies, bringing his hand up to run through the hair at the back of his head. “Like, I’m not a stranger to casual hookups, even if I really would like something more for myself. But those guys, I usually meet on an app, or at a club, and I try not to have too many expectations.

“I guess just because of the way we first met, the fact that it was different from those others, I made some assumptions about us and what this might mean,” he continues. “I’m sorry that I acted on them and put you in a weird place.”

There’s silence after he finishes speaking, the two of them just sitting side-by-side on his front step at one in the morning. It’s completely bizarre, and Carlos doesn’t really know what’s happening, but he’s not uncomfortable with it. There’s just something about TK beside him that lessens his concerns a little bit.

He’s a little shocked when he feels a weight on his arm, and he looks down to see TK’s fingers curled gently around his bicep. He turns to look at him, unsurprised to find the exact face that he was expecting, furrowed eyebrows and twinkling eyes. It steals his breath from his lungs, the absolute beauty of this man.

“I’m sorry, too,” TK says, his voice quiet. “For not being clear about what I wanted, and then for being an asshole when you couldn’t read my mind.” 

They hold the look for a moment before Carlos nods, staring ahead again as he twists his fingers together in front of him. “Apology accepted.”

“I’m also sorry about the shirt,” TK adds, and Carlos can hear humor behind the words. “I can buy you a new one.”

The image of TK pressed up against him, forcibly tearing his shirt open, flashes through his mind, and Carlos feels his heart rate quicken at the memory. “Don’t worry about it,” he assures him, his voice coming out a little shaky. “My mom taught me how to sew buttons back on.”

From next to him, TK lets out a sudden loud laugh, the sound shooting straight through his chest. He turns to look at him, a smile forming at the look of absolute joy that has taken over TK’s face. “What?” he asks, trying not to laugh, too. It’s a truly weird night.

“Don’t tell me she got so tired of men tearing your clothes off that she forced you to learn how to sew them back together,” TK cries, an odd light dancing in his eyes. 

“Of course not, you jerk,” Carlos says, leaning over to nudge TK in annoyance. “She just wanted me to learn how to do things on my own. Don’t you make fun of my mama, TK Strand.” 

“I would never,” TK says, his grin sliding into a look of intense seriousness. Carlos raises an eyebrow at him, questioning his honesty. TK simply stares back, his eyes still dancing, before shaking his head and lowering his gaze down to his lap. “My god, who are you?” he questions suddenly, his voice rising in what sounds like disbelief. “You cook, you sew, your apartment is fully-furnished, you have a job, you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met, you’re so fucking nice. Just, like, how are you even real?”

He ends with a loud groan, his body collapsing against Carlos as he rests his head against his shoulder. Carlos can feel a heat rising up the back of his neck as he stares down at him in shock, having now idea how to answer the man.

“You know, for the record,” TK says after a quiet moment, his head still pressed against Carlos, “I like you for more than just sex.

“I know it probably doesn’t seem like it,” he continues, his voice low, “but it’s true. I know I freaked out on you, it was all just really intense and unexpected and it took me to some bad places that still feel really raw. I thought I could handle just the physical stuff and deal with the emotional baggage later, but it kind of blew up in my face. And yours.”

Carlos listens carefully, trying to fill in the gaps with everything that TK’s not telling him. It’s obvious that TK has some skeletons in his closet, maybe recently gathered, that will help to explain his behavior this evening, but he doesn’t know if he should ask about them. Except, his heart can’t help but cling to TK’s initial declaration, about how he likes Carlos for more than just his body, and that pushes him to take a chance.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he hedges gently, trying not to spook the other man. TK lets out a sigh, shifting against him to prop his chin on top of Carlos’s shoulder, looking up at him. Carlos looks back, their faces close as they study one another. Those green eyes are absolutely stunning.  

“I think I do,” TK admits, bringing his hand up to drag his fingers along Carlos’s jaw. “But it’s a long story, so maybe not tonight. Is that okay?”

Carlos nods before he even has a chance to consider it, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. “Yeah, TK, that’s okay. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

He finds that he means that.

Before he can overthink it, he leans up to press a soft kiss at TK’s hairline, hearing the way the action draws a heavy breath from the other man. Slowly, Carlos relaxes back against his front door, wrapping an arm around TK’s waist to pull him closer. The firefighter goes willingly, folding himself against Carlos’s side as his hand comes up to rest against his exposed chest. 

They stay there in the stillness of the Texas night, letting time move on without them. Carlos closes his eyes for a moment as he relishes the opportunity to finally be more for someone, just this once. Just like he’s always wanted.

It’s even better than he expected.

[221bsunsettowers]

TK/Carlos: Please Don’t Go Where I Can’t Follow

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Pairing: TK/Carlos

Prompt: Dissociation

Carlos is missing, kidnapped by a criminal he brought down during an undercover operation, and TK is frantic. When they do find Carlos, they realize he's been shown a faked photograph of a murdered TK, and has completely disassociated.

I promise that everything does end up okay at the end! I always have to have my hurt/comfort angst with a happy ending. I can’t whump these boys permanently.

I did research on dissociation before and while writing this piece, but I can't promise my writing is medically accurate. Please know I tried, and I apologize for any inaccuracies.

CW: dissociation, some blood and bruising, faked photograph of a character having been murdered, one use of the f word

Can also be read on Ao3 here

It had taken three hours and fourteen minutes to find Carlos.

It had taken three hours and fourteen minutes after TK's phone rang, after he was told Carlos had answered what should have been a simple domestic dispute call, and never came back. That the house he had been called to was deserted and had been for years. That the only sign anyone had been there was blood soaked into the rug.

Three hours and fourteen minutes and the scent was fading off of Carlos' hoodie, the one TK had plucked from the closet just that morning, smirking at his boyfriend before Carlos had walked over with a laugh and kissed the smirk right off TK's lips.

Any members of the 126 that were off shift had immediately joined the search, paired up with any police officers that weren't already running down leads. TK had wanted to be everywhere at once, out there finding Carlos, at the police station listening to the tips and reports, at their home in case Carlos managed to make it there.

In the end, it was decided for him, his father and Carlos' captain finding a nearby hallway at the police station where TK could pace up and down its length, ringing Carlos' cell phone over and over, closing his eyes and soaking in the sound of his boyfriend through the words of his voicemail.

TK didn't eat, didn't rest, didn't stop moving, the absence of the love of his life like molten lava under his skin, burning and stinging and bringing tears to his eyes, wearing out his strength and hope with every minute it settled and hardened in his veins. The hood of Carlos' sweatshirt was pulled over TK's head, and when it all got to be too much he would turn his face and breathe in, trying to let the rememnants of his boyfriend's scent bring him any sort of comfort.

When the call finally came, it was an officer reporting that he and his partner had spotted Carlos through the window of an abandoned warehouse. From what they could tell, he was tied to a chair, three guys guarding him. And Carlos had looked limp, unmoving, head hanging low, and there was definitely blood.

Backup was already running out of the station and to their squad cars, but TK had collapsed to the floor, weeping into Owen's shirt, clutching at him with clenched fists. "We know where he is," Owen murmured soothingly into TK's ear, arms wrapped around his son. "And we're going to go to him, and we'll take it from there, okay?"

TK nodded, sniffled, rising from the floor and tucking his trembling hands into the sleeves of Carlos' hoodie. Owen kept an arm around his waist as he led him to the car.

When they reached the warehouse, TK leapt from the car as soon as it had slowed down enough. He had spent the ride running through every world-ending possible scenario in his mind, unable to turn off the terrifying thought that Carlos was dead or dying and their forever had already ended. Owen had had to pull off the road for a moment so TK could fall to his knees in the dirt and retch next to the car, his dad's hand rubbing circles on his back.

Now that he was this close to Carlos, TK couldn't stop himself, body magnetized to his boyfriend's orbit, and he was sprinting through the door and dropping to his knees next to the chair, hands fumbling to grab the wrists an officer had just released from the zip ties.

Feeling a pulse, too slow but still steady, TK gave himself one shaky exhale of relief before forcing his gaze up to sweep the rest of the scene before him. Carlos' face was bruised, his shirt slashed front and back with what were clearly shallow knife strokes, leaving narrow cuts still trickling blood.

But what was most heartstopping was the look in Carlos' eyes.

It was like there was no one there. Like Carlos' body was an empty shell. TK had seen so many expressions in those beautiful eyes, but never a complete lack of anything.

"Carlos, baby, it's me," TK murmured, gingerly cupping Carlos' face between his trembling hands. "Can you answer me, sweetheart? Let me know what's going on?"

Michelle had appeared, but Carlos did not react when she carefully cut off the remaining fabric of his shirt, his arms limp and dropping back to their previous place the minute her hold was released. TK knew Michelle was fighting back tears as she started cleaning and bandaging Carlos' wounds. TK had no power to resist his own sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he continued calling to Carlos.

"Please, Carlos, please, please come back to me, please," TK begged through his tears, and at the lack of response again, whipped his head around to the nearest police officer. "What the hell happened? Do you know what's going on?"

"We found him like this," the man responded, expressed pained as he took in the unresponsive form of his fellow officer. "I don't know, but this guy," he jerked his head at the wide-eyed, terrified, and handcuffed teenager next to him, "says he'll tell us what happened if we put in a good word for him at the station."

"Absolutely, anything, please, just tell me what happened, tell me what's going on." TK barely registered he was begging again, this time at a complete and utter stranger.

"My boss knew he'd been involved in an undercover op ," the teenager gestured towards Carlos, "and he wanted to know where exactly in the station his drugs had ended up. The cop wouldn't tell him, even after he beat him up some, got the knife." TK's body flinched involuntarily, tense with anger and heartbreak, and the teen spoke even faster. "Then he showed the cop that photo, and instead of spilling the details he just totally shut down. Then you guys came in."

Bending down, the officer picked up the indicated photo from the ground, and let out an involuntary "Fuck". Eyeing TK uneasily, he sighed, handing over the picture.

"Oh god," TK choked out, the picture shaking violently in his hands. He knew it was a photoshop, a damn good one but still fake, of course he did, he was here alive wasn't he, but Carlos couldn't have known. All Carlos would have seen was TK's dead body, bullet hole in his forehead, bullet hole to the heart, blood soaking through that yellow hoodie they both knew so well (and TK couldn't believe they had gone to that level of detail, didn't want to think about how they had found that out, but of course that was the kind of thing that would have immediately convinced Carlos).

"Ok, ok I know what's going on," Michelle's shaky voice came from over TK's shoulder."He's having a dissociative episode. He couldn't handle what he was seeing and he...he deconnected. Loss of feelings, depersonalisation, derealisation..." She trailed off, and TK turned his gaze on her, eyes pleading.

"How do I fix this, Michelle? How do I get him back?" TK wasn't even sure his words were understandable at this point, he was crying so hard, but Michelle squared her shoulders, biting her lip.

"Ok, you should try engaging his senses. Give him something familar to feel, really ground him with your touch, anything that smells like you, talk to him, but TK, I can't...I can't promise, I don't know..." She choked back a sob.

TK immediately pulled off the hoodie he was wearing, knowing it now smelled like a mixture of him and Carlos, and threaded Carlos' arms through the sleeves, zipping it up to the very top and pulling the hood up around his boyfriend's face.

"Carlos, baby, it's me, it's TK, I'm right here, I love you so much, so so much baby," TK kept up an unending stream of endearments, gaze glued on Carlos' face, and he thought for a second he saw a flash of familarity in his eyes. Grabbing Carlos' hand, TK slid it up under his shirt, pressing his boyfriend's palm skin against skin right over TK's frantically beating heart, then used his other hand to gently cup the back of Carlos' neck, brushing their lips against each other.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then TK heard a soft "Ty?" breathed against his lips, and he dared to open his eyes. He gasped as he saw Carlos start to cry, eyes full and familiar, and TK caught him as he collapsed off the chair and onto the floor.

"It's me, baby, I promise, it's me, I'm okay, I'm fine, it's all going to be alright," TK chanted into the crook of Carlos' neck, pressing his promises into his boyfriend's sweat-soaked skin. He clutched Carlos to him as their bodies shook and they sobbed, not even registering the warehouse clearing around them, Michelle pressing a hand to her heart as she tearfully moved outside with her kit at the ready.

"That photo," Carlos choked out, and TK shook his head, pulling back just enough so Carlos' could see his face.

"They faked it, I'm not hurt, not a scratch, I've just been a wreck over you, sweetheart," TK assured him, and Carlos shot forward, pressing their lips together hard enough that their teeth clinked together, and TK poured every ounce of love inside him into the bruising kiss. With a oh so grateful gasp, Carlos softened, and the kiss did too, mouths meeting again and again, Carlos seeming to settle more and more into his body as TK gently kissed his way across the bruises scattered across Carlos' face.

"Hey there Tiger," Carlos finally said, voice stronger, and TK laughed in sheer relief, resting their foreheads together.

"Hey there love," TK answered, and he saw a smile begin to turn up the edges of Carlos' lips. "There you are."

@bikingthroughhawkins​ @officereyes​ @i-had-bucky​, @highqualitykhakis​ @meloingly​

If you want to be added to my Tarlos tag list just let me know!

@badthingshappenbingo​

[louuieferrignojr]

in your eyes

chapter 2/2 (ao3 link) (chapter 1)

When Owen saw Judd’s name come across his phone, he went on high alert. He knew TK had left early for the fire station for his shift, but Judd rarely called him out of the blue like this. He slid his phone open and put the phone to his ear before speaking.

“Judd?” He heard someone let out a breath on the other side of the line and he tensed with worry.

“Owen,” Judd’s voice came through the phone and he sounded out of breath, “It’s TK.”

“Tell me my son is okay Judd,” Owen asked, grabbing the last of his things before leaving the house and going towards his car.

“He took pills Cap,” he replied, watching as Michelle continually gave the younger man oxygen. “I don’t know where he got them from. He took them in the locker room after I walked out. We’re in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Michelle got him back, but he’s not out of the woods yet.”

Judd looked at TK and felt a fire in his chest. Why did this kid have to warm his way into his heart? TK was cocky and bullheaded, but he also wore his heart on his sleeve and seeing him struggle with his addiction was painful for the entire house.

“Judd, are you there?” Owen’s voice came from his cell and he was immediately taken out of his thoughts and back to his conversation.

“Sorry, yeah I’m still here. We are almost at the hospital. I’ll meet you in the waiting area,” he replied, looking between Michelle and TK, “He’s gonna be okay Cap.”

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, before he spoke again.

“He has to be.”

--

One Month Later

“So TK,” Dr. Anne Wells started the discussion, looking at her patient. “How are you feeling today?”

“Fine,” the young firefighter responded, looking anywhere but at the psychiatrist. She took notice that he was holding a pillow to his chest, as if he needed protection and she sighed.

“You’ve been doing so much better since your first day here,” she reminded him, taking his mind back to when his dad and Judd helped him settle in at the inpatient center. He knew he needed to get better. His suicide attempt was a wake up call.

He wanted to go back to his dad. The firehouse. He wanted to feel the adrenaline of running into a building to save someone, but just the thought of that made him feel like an elephant was sitting on his chest. He was brought back to the first day he came here, feeling like he was going to fall apart and never get better.

“Just breathe, TK. You’re going to get the help you need to kick this addiction in the ass and then you’ll be back with me,” his father said, pulling him into his arms. TK gripped his dad, not wanting to let go. His dad had always protected him. From when he almost broke his arm after falling out of a tree when he was 5 and catching him, from when his mother didn’t accept him and his father accepted him with open arms, and from when he first got addicted to drugs and his dad got him the help he needed before suggesting he apply at the fire academy after he got himself better. And now, when old wounds were opened from his mom’s texts and he thought his only option was out, his dad was there.

But he also now had a whole team behind him.

“You’ll be back with us kid,” Judd had stated gruffly, before pulling TK into his arms.

“Are we hugging right now?”

“You tell anyone…”

“Who can I tell?” TK reminded him, gesturing to his new home for the next 3 months.

“You get the help you need okay? I need your annoying ass back at the firehouse,” Judd’s words may have been humorous, but his tone was full of brotherly concern.

TK could only nod at both of them, before watching as they both left his room.

He could do this.

“TK?” A female voice brought him out of his thoughts and he looked to see Dr. Wells staring at him with concern.

“Sorry, you just reminded me of why I wanted to get better,” he let himself smile, before looking back at her to finish their session.

--

Four Months Later

After three months of inpatient treatment and a month of outpatient treatment, TK was back at the firehouse.

On light duty of course.

Months ago, he would have been annoyed at the limited work he would be doing, but now he was just grateful he was here. Alive.

His father had informed him shortly after he was in treatment that he contacted his mother. After one heated conversation with the woman, Owen informed him that his mother would never speak to either of them again. He had bought TK a new phone as well, one that his mother wouldn’t be able to find the number of. Whatever his dad said to his mom, he was grateful. She was in the past. She couldn’t hurt him.

He had his dad, he had his firehouse and he had Carlos.

Or at least, he hoped so.

Carlos had visited him once in the treatment center, just to see how he was doing with his own eyes. He told TK that he didn’t want to be one of the reasons he didn’t get better. He didn’t want to hold him back.

“I just wanted to feel something.”

The words echoed back at him from his memory, explaining to Carlos how he took to fighting in a bar so he could feel pain. Back then, it was a relief to feel the punches come at him.

Now, he didn’t want to even step foot inside another bar. Carlos told him that he didn't want TK to just use sex as another outlet for the pain he was feeling. He wouldn't deter TK from getting better, no matter how he was feeling about the younger man.

He had texted Carlos when he came in for his shift and was waiting for his response, impatiently of course. Judd chuckled at him when he noticed he looked at his phone a dozen times in a span of 10 minutes.

“TK, maybe he has work,” he suggested lightly, smirking as TK glared at him and sighed.

He got up from his chair and went to his dad’s office, searching for the gum he knew his dad always hid in his top drawer before pulling out a small bottle with pills in it instead.

His hands shook as he took in the pill bottle. He wasn’t even tempted to take the pills at this point. He just wanted to know why his dad had them in the first place. Suddenly he heard footsteps come closer to the office, but he was frozen in place.

“Hey, TK there you -” Owen stopped greeting his son, as he saw the picture before him.

His son with his pill bottle.

Before Owen could fear the worst, TK looked at him with tears in his eyes, “Why do you have these pills dad?”

The room was quiet and it was like all the air got sucked out of it as father and son stared at each other.

“They’re for my nausea,” he started to explain. His son just looked at him in confusion.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” His tone worried as he dropped the bottle on his desk and walked towards the older man.

“It’s for the nausea I get after chemo.”

TK looked stricken, his eyes going wide. “Wait, what? You have cancer?”

“It’s lung cancer, TK. It’s in the early stages. They caught it early.”

TK could only scoff, “It’s cancer dad.”

“I know,” Owen could only respond, staring at his son.

“You must think I’m so weak,” TK whispered, looking down at the floor. The pattern on the floor would be a nice distraction right now from this news.

“No. You are not weak Tyler Kennedy. You are one of the strongest people I know,” he stated firmly, putting his hand on his son’s shoulder. “I didn’t tell you because I was the weak one. I’m your dad. I’m supposed to always be there for you. I didn’t want to see the grief in your eyes the day I would finally get the courage to tell you.”

TK wiped at his eyes, before letting out a breath, “Dad, you’re still my hero,” he let himself smile before continuing, “You’re going to kick the crap out of this cancer, especially from now on because I’ve got your back.”

“I’ve got your back Dad,” he repeated, before wrapping his arms around the older man.

“Thanks son,” Owen responded, letting himself for once be comforted by TK.

As they broke out of the hug, Owen looked at his son and smirked.

“So, I heard your waiting to hear back from Carlos.”

TK looked affronted at the statement, before glaring at his dad.

“Michelle may have told me that he gets off this afternoon,” Owen stated, smiling as his son perked up at the fact, before frowning.

“Wait, why would she tell you that?” He questioned, before Owen let out a chuckle.

“She was going to meet him for lunch after his shift ended, but she wouldn’t mind if you took her place instead. I’m sure Carlos wouldn’t mind either.”

With that, Owen walked away to the locker room whistling.

“Wait, dad...where was she meeting him?” He asked, but his father was already too far away and he grumbled to himself.

“Guess I’ll just have to ask Michelle. This won’t be embarrassing or anything,” he mumbled.

--

“TK?” Carlos asked, surprised to see the younger man and not Michelle at their usual lunch table near the food trucks.

“Hi,” the young firefighter replied, standing up. Before he could react, Carlos grabbed him into a bone crushing hug.

“How are you? Are you okay?” The taller man asked him, before they pulled out of the hug.

“I’m better,” a small smile spread across his face as Carlos could only stare at him awe.

From how he was months ago to now, Carlos definitely saw a change in TK. There was a certain glow about him. He seemed happier and he was grateful that TK got the help he needed.

Before he could say a word, the firefighter looked up at him.

“So how about that date?”

“You sure?” He asked, biting his lip wanting to make sure that TK himself was ready.

“Yes, I’m sure” TK grinned, “you’re buying.”