#saveddie

[shrinkthisviolet]

Oooo I’d love some background info on i hate (what i’ve become) (or anything else you want to say about it) because I am OBSESSED with that fic (the ANGSTTTTTTT)

OOOOOH I will certainly try to give what background I can!

Admittedly that's one I wrote on a whim without a ton of context behind it, and it's not situated at a specific point in s3 because...for obvious reasons, it's very canon-divergent in many ways, and even I don't know the full details of how 😅 but what I can do is expand on the Saveddie/Thallen dynamic in this fic (and it turns out I have a lot to say about them lol so see below the cut for my rambling thoughts):

Eddie is revived from the dead! This isn't really a secret in the fic ofc—Eddie refers readily to his death as an event that did happen (“Is that why you didn't bother to remember me?” Eddie’s eyes flashed. “Why you were so fixated on Iris the moment I died—why you held back on moving on because she’s not Iris, I guess?”), and Savitar also references it as his own doing (“Didn’t you wonder who brought Eddie back, Barry? Surely you must’ve had your theories.” Savitar smirked. “Did you suspect for even one second that it was actually a version of you? A better version, who isn’t such a spineless coward?”)

Also, you may wonder, what's Savitar's deal? Does he really love Eddie? Is he just using him? The answer is...both! The framing for this fic is that if Eddie hadn't died, Barry might've been brave enough to confess to him, and Westhallen perhaps would've happened...but alas, he did die, and Barry's feelings remained unresolved and screaming in his heart. And ofc...when Savitar is born, he's Barry, so those feelings are screaming in his heart too. He has two goals: a) pretend to kill Iris and preserve his existence, but secretly steal her away/revive her for himself*...and b) revive Eddie so he can finally act on those feelings he never even confessed (oh Savitar...someone must've slept through reading Great Gatsby in English class, or you'd know better!). And since he hops back and forth in time, between the past and the future...he knows that Eddie has the potential for great power as Cobalt Blue, could've taken up the mantle if he hadn't died.

So he revives Eddie and begins seducing him, telling him all about Westallen and painting Barry in the worst possible light (he still has a soft spot for Iris, so he doesn't say as much bad about her—remember, he wants to force Westhallen into existence, wants both Eddie and Iris by his side, so he won't badmouth the love of his life. He will badmouth Barry plenty though—you know how in s9, Eddie's furious at Barry for "stealing" his fiancée? Here, that's something Savitar plants in his head.

Unlike s9 though, Eddie isn't corrupted by an external cosmic force, and he loves Barry and Iris, so he pushes back on this. But Savitar knows exactly how to play on his heartstrings...and pouring in some sympathy for himself gets Eddie on his side (a version of Barry who's thrown away/disregarded by the entire Team after Iris dies? Who's mistreated even by Barry himself? Eddie's furious at the thought). Savitar, also, is not nearly as shy as Barry was, confessing his feelings readily...and acting on them, much to Eddie's giddy delight (his own description) and Savitar's smugness.

Things sour after a while, though. Savitar's possessiveness is far removed from Barry's selfless love, and Eddie notices. He also, however, notices how ruthless Savitar is in defense of what he wants...and figures out very quickly that if he pushes too much, he pisses Savitar off—and Eddie's not so keen to piss off another evil speedster. Though Savitar also complicates this because when he picks up on Eddie's fear, he tones down the aggression and acts more like the sweet, gentle Barry Eddie loved. So on the one hand, Eddie wants to leave, find his way to Team Flash and beg for their help...but on the other, he doesn't want to piss off Savitar, he still has love and sympathy for Savitar due to his similarities to Barry...and he still remembers what Savitar told him about Team Flash mistreating him in the future (when Eddie's particularly doubtful, Savitar reminds him about this, playing up his sympathetic backstory...and ofc it works, keeping those doubts at bay)

Seeing Barry again, though? That opens a floodgate that Eddie is hard-pressed to close again. Seeing the real Barry, desperate and pleading and hopeful—Eddie wants to take his hand and ride into the sunset with him...and with Iris too, when Barry brings her up. But Savitar's ironclad grip on him (literal as well as figurative) presents an obstacle. Even if Eddie wanted to leave (which he does, he realizes as he looks into Barry's eyes, he really, really does), he fears what Savitar might do if Eddie shows too much willingness to leave—maybe not to him, but to Barry. Eddie's seen an evil speedster try to kill Barry before...and although Savitar can't kill Barry, he could still do plenty else. He's a man out of time, older than Barry by 7 years and centuries too...that's terrifying. Eddie doesn't even have a gun, let alone powers (after all, as Savitar told him, what would Eddie need a gun for, when his significant other is the most powerful being in the multiverse?)

But ofc Eddie can't let on. So he keeps the mask up, he's cold to Barry...he convinces Barry he's a lost cause, even as his heart is screaming at him to go after Barry, screw the consequences. But he can't say "screw the consequences", he can't risk harm to Barry, so he keeps up the act and tries not to shed tears about it.

Savitar is delighted about this, of course...but Eddie still has doubts. Minor doubts, of course—Savitar can airbrush over those with more manipulation, and he does (“All Bivolo does,” Savitar said with a sigh, “is amplify feelings that already exist. Barry did love you—otherwise I wouldn’t—but more than that, he hated you all along. He only needed a little push to show you exactly how he felt.” He smiled. “Not unlike you and me...though I’d say that turned out much better for us.”)

And then...Savitar gives Eddie something as a reward (or rather, he promises to): a way to defend himself. The implication, ofc, being that he's going to turn Eddie into Cobalt Blue.

*this never comes up in the oneshot, but it's implicit in almost everything Savitar-related I write, and it's my headcanon for him

[ohellino]

Beautiful Grave

The light shone down from a sun aboveAnd every good person glowed with loveA settling quiet hit the earthAs everyone realized life’s worthA dream realized a good feeling savedDying in peace in a beautiful graveHigh above the trees echoing in the cloudsInto the atmosphere no plane is allowedAn emptiness empties and sucks up the worldAnd even a strapping lad whimpers like a girlRapture comes and…

[airsay58259]

Panalegs here, after this last episode to me Barry is Savitar. Really! And this is the only thing beside Caitlin/Tom Felton/Cisco's hair and Tom that is making me stick around. It will be great, especially if later we have a Killer Frost and a Barry redemption arcs. Barry is losing himself to much the only way for me is he/future him going completely bad and starting all over again. And they need to make Caitlin accept her powers. It's annoying how nobody thinks of that

Cisco’s hair lmao. No judgement, touching that hair is my favorite memory from Superheroes con last summer. *weirdo*

This season has really been a succession of bad, terrible decisions from Barry and most of the team really, but especially Barry. Circumstances count but what was the point of the S1 finale? what was the point of Flashpoint? He learns nothing. People can bitch about Arrow all they want -me first- but at least Ollie’s character development makes sense. We’ve seen him broken and with time, more tragedies and more failures, he became something else learnt his lesson. He keeps giving up everything he cares about for the greater good, his city, his friends. He gave up on himself in the latest episode. Barry’s not a superhero 98% of the time, he uses his powers to fix his own mistakes ever since he decided to erase the universe for the first time in S1. I loved the S2 finale when Barry sacrificed himself for everyone, time remnant or not it was him, but do we only get one truly heroic moment per year? I miss the S1 days when we’d see Barry stop random criminals, save random grandmas and people from killing themselves…

So yeah I see what you mean but for me Barry being Savitar isn’t the only way out of this evanescence AU starring Brooding Allen. He could also defeat Savitar in the finale and give up the Flash mantle because he feels like he doesn’t deserve it anymore (cue to a new Flash costume reveal at SDCC *fingers crossed*), he could “die” instead of Iris and Wally would be the Flash at the start of S4, etc. The writers have been clever enough to give hints for multiple theories with 3x15. I’ve seen convincing theories for Savibarry, Saviwally, Saveddie, Savijay… Whatever it is, I just want it to make sense and give us good final episodes, and not just one big reveal, some sciencing and fighting, and boom cliffhanger, see ya in 5 months.

I am not sure what I personally believe. I want Eddie but to quote @supercanaries “I keep eddiebaiting myself”. Barry could make for a great storyline, especially like you said with an acceptance/redemption arc later on for present Barry who realizes how he’s been acting not-just recently and knows what his future self could become. Wally would be so sad, lil’ ball of joy deserves better. Jay lol no thank you, next. HR apparently has the same scar above his eye like Savitar… we’ve had the “new mysterious guy we decide to trust and welcome in the team is actually our big bad” plot already, same for Julian except on top of that he’s Cait’s LI like Hunter AND was already used for Alchemy so come on… Idk, Future Barry makes sense. I don’t see the writers doing it though. If I had to bet (and that’s not what I would want), I’d say Wally. :( “I created myself”

“And they need to make Caitlin accept her powers. It’s annoying how nobody thinks of that” seriously. I don’t care if it fails or is brushed off by someone in ten seconds, at least suggest iiit. It’s too late for this now, she’ll just “let it go” before the season ends and we’ll have “Killer Frost still at large”. Some BTS and #fandomCSI with @politeandnotgay make us think it’s happening in 3x20, maybe the ending of Directom’s 3x19. (example, they’ve been using snow a couple of times, here in the woods. Who else lived in the woods you ask? E2 Caitlin… Their big fraturday last week was completely shut to papz and fans which is pretty rare and happened for the KF episodes last year. Danielle was definitely around this set (she snapped “vancouver night shoots”) but zero photo of her while we saw team Boyz and no guest villain as far as we know, plus Tom went to meet the fans waiting anyway and Danielle usually does too… dundundun

[shrinkthisviolet]

'i hate what i’ve become' for Thallen please?

Gladly! It took me a little while to land on an idea but this is what came out, and I’m pretty happy with it (and a little obsessed with the concept ngl 😅). Takes place during s3, though I couldn’t tell you during which episodes since it’s very canon-divergent.

Oh and also, since this is another long one, feel free to read the AO3 version instead if you prefer 💞

“It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“Of course it does,” Eddie snapped.

“Why? Because he said so?” Eddie heard the tears in Barry’s voice and faltered. “Come on, Eddie. This isn’t our first rodeo with speedster villains. Don’t—”

“Our?” Eddie scoffed. “Please. There was never an our, and you know it.”

Barry’s voice broke as he said, “What...?”, and it almost made Eddie regret what he’d said.

But he knew better.

“Is that why you didn't bother to remember me?” Eddie’s eyes flashed. “Why you were so fixated on Iris the moment I died—why you held back on moving on because she’s not Iris, I guess?”

Barry’s eyes widened. “Is that what he told you?”

“Is he wrong?”

He’d looked at Eddie with such regret in his eyes upon telling him everything, his eyes soft the way Barry’s were. How could that be a lie?

Three people in this relationship...wasn’t there a reason I said it like th—?

“—not that simple.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not!” Barry pleaded. “Eddie—”

“You never liked me, did you?” Tears burned Eddie’s eyes too. “Always an obstacle in the way of you and Iris—was our whole friendship just a lie to you?”

“No,” he had whispered when Eddie had asked the same question of him. “Well, yes. But also no. I liked you, that was no lie, but...your friend? No…I’m not one to settle, Eddie.”

“Of course not! Eddie, I...I...”

Barry faltered. Why did he falter?

He hadn’t faltered. He hadn't hesitated one second to show Eddie exactly how he felt about him.

That kiss had left him dizzy and euphoric. Savitar had grinned at the sight.

Eddie had returned the favor.

“You what?” He prompted, crossing his arms.

“I love you,” Barry finished hoarsely.

Eddie nodded tightly, swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth. “I know.”

“You...you know? What does that m—”

“It means,” Savitar interrupted, coming up behind Eddie and standing beside him, “that I told him. Showed him, really.”

Barry's eyes widened as he looked between them, paling. “Y-you...?”

“Didn’t you wonder who brought Eddie back, Barry? Surely you must’ve had your theories.” Savitar smirked. “Did you suspect for even one second that it was actually a version of you? A better version, who isn’t such a spineless coward?”

(Eddie bit his tongue.)

Barry scowled. “You get away from him!”

Savitar chuckled, wrapping an arm around Eddie. “If he wants me to, then certainly.” He turned to Eddie expectantly, his eyes soft again.

Eddie glanced between him and Barry, who’d come so close now that Eddie could see the tears sparkling in his eyes. “Please,” he begged. “We can help you, I swear. He might’ve brought you back, but we can keep you alive somehow while still defeating him. I promise.”

Eddie hesitated. “You...you can’t promise that.”

Savitar’s grip tightened.

But maybe I should accept anyway.

“Yes I can,” Barry insisted, ever the reckless hero. “You saved us once. You saved me. Let me save you too.”

“Eddie,” Savitar warned, his voice low. “You can’t trust him, remember?”

But Eddie barely heard him, his eyes fixed on Barry. “I hate what I’ve become,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Half-alive, like some kind of zombie.”

Barry’s eyes widened. “Eddie—”

Savitar was surprised too, Eddie could see it, but he kept his gaze fixed on Barry as he spoke.

“I’m a dead man walking, Barr—or at least, I feel like it. Like I'm a step removed from reality, like I'm a piece that doesn't fit.” His tears spilled over. “You can't fix that. No one can. Not unless you have the kind of power he does."

“He can’t fix you any more than we can!” Barry cried. “And he doesn’t want to—Eddie, don’t you see—?” He gasped as Savitar shot forward and caught hold of him by the throat.

“You always did have a problem of talking too much,” Savitar sneered, “and assuming. Remind me, how did that work out with Iris?”

Barry flinched.

Eddie winced, unable to suppress his sympathy...but regretting it for the hope that flickered in Barry’s eyes.

Give it up, Barr. I’m begging you.

“Eddie,” Savitar said slowly, almost crooning, “who are you going to trust? Barry, who has lied to you so many times and who forgot about you after you died to save him...or me, who brought you back to atone for my mistakes?”

Eddie’s eyes locked on Barry, who mouthed, “Please,” with tears gushing from his eyes.

“When I was kidnapped by your mortal enemy.” Eddie said slowly, “you didn’t exactly try to help. I saved myself—and then, with my last breath, I saved you. And you repaid me by forgetting about me.”

Barry’s tears spilled over. “Eddie—”

“It’s over, Barry. You’ve chosen, and so have I.”

Savitar smirked, dropping Barry, who coughed and spluttered and shook his head.

“No,” he gasped. “No, I won’t accept that.”

“Ooh,” Savitar teased, “and you say I’m the control freak.”

“I’m gonna help you,” Barry continued, “and save you from him, I swear.”

Can you, Barry? Can you really?

“Stop wasting your time,” Eddie retorted, wrapping his arm around Savitar’s shoulders. “If you really care about me as much as you claim, put that energy towards Iris. She deserves that from you, and more.”

“Don’t you remember what you said?” Barry pleaded. “About three people in our relationsh—?”

“I was wrong!” Eddie snapped, the lie burning his throat. “It was always you and Iris, even back then. I was just the idiot who thought I had a chance.”

“Eddie—”

“Goodbye, Barry.”

And Savitar, the master of dramatic timing, swept Eddie up in his arms and carried him away in a flash of gold lightning.

“You did the right thing,” Savitar reassured him, hours later, when it was just the two of them and Eddie kept glancing out the window.

“Did I?” Eddie replied distantly, Barry's tearful face still flashing in his mind.

“Are you having doubts?” Savitar’s voice dropped an octave, and Eddie would never admit to the chill that swept down his spine.

“No,” he said, hoping he hadn’t said it too quickly. “Of course not. You brought me back to life...you cared about me when no one else did.”

“Indeed I did,” Savitar agreed, and Eddie watched in the glass’s reflection as Savitar grinned, very determinedly not thinking of how fast his heart was beating. Savitar slid an arm around him. “And you know, Eddie...Barry can be quite persistent when it comes to things he wants. You’ll need some way to defend yourself.”

Defend himself...from Barry? “He’d never hurt me,” Eddie protested. “He doesn’t have that in him.”

Not Barry. Not the kindhearted, brave man I fell in love with.

“Oh?” Savitar tilted his head. “But hasn’t he before?”

“I...he...he was whammied. That's not...”

“All Bivolo does,” Savitar said with a sigh, “is amplify feelings that already exist. Barry did love you—otherwise I wouldn’t—but more than that, he hated you all along. He only needed a little push to show you exactly how he felt.” He smiled. “Not unlike you and me...though I’d say that turned out much better for us.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, lost for anything else to say.

Savitar nodded. “It’s settled, then. Tomorrow...I’ll give you a way to defend yourself from anyone. I even have a codename in mind, if you’re amenable.” He smiled wryly, his cheeks reddening. “No pressure, of course. Just...force of habit.”

He sounded a little like Barry, enough that some of Eddie's fear dissipated. Not all, but...enough. “What did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking...Cobalt Blue.”

prompt list!