#save me concert that i attended a month ago…….

[acaesic]

concert that i attended one (1) month ago save me…..

[loving-barnes]

LOGAN HOWLETT - DEFEND YOUR HONOUR

A/N: And another one-shot with my precious Logan. This has angst and some fluff. Enjoy!

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Mutant! female reader

Warning: angst, some fluff

Words: 3700+

Important note: Hugh Jackman!Wolverine (which means he's tall as fuck!)

FULL MASTERLIST | LOGAN HOWLETT MASTERLIST

LOGAN HOWLETT - DEFEND YOUR HONOUR

It was a wild, exhausting day. Well, more like five days. The last time I visited my parents was almost a year ago. They knew nothing about my new life, only the lies I told them.  That’s why I didn’t have time to see them as often as they wanted to. 

I missed them. That’s why I came back. I thought my short vacation with them in my home town would be without incidents and fights. Oh how wrong I was. 

It was eleven in the evening. I was sitting on the front porch, wrapped in a fluffy blanket. The night was cold. Autumn hit with full force. I wished I could return to the place where I felt more at home. Unfortunately, the school was over four hours drive away from my hometown. 

I had my phone in my hands, contemplating whether to call the person who could make me smile or not. My eyes were on the contact name, and I was not sure whether to press the button or forget about it and head back to bed. It was too late for a phone call even when I knew he’d be up. After a couple of deep breaths, I decided to tap the screen and call my boyfriend Logan. 

<< Hey baby. 

Hearing his voice made me smile. Logan picked up the call quickly. “Hi. I hope I didn’t wake you up.” 

<< No, of course not. I’m reading that book you got me before you left. Damn, good choice, baby. 

I laughed. “Yeah, it’s that good? Glad you like it. Maybe I’ll get you to read more. Even if they are historical memoirs or anything that has to do with history. We could start our own club, just the two of us.” I heard him laugh. Quickly, he changed the topic.

<< So, how’s the visit going? Everything good? 

I sighed, not knowing what to say to him. I didn’t want to complain. I already told him something about my parents - how they treat me even when they care about me. My relationship with my family was complicated. “It’s okay,” I said simply. “It’s okay. Really, okay.”

<< One more and I’ll believe ya.

“It is what it is. I always believe it’ll be better and it’s not,” I admitted. “Only two more days and I’ll head to the mansion. I have the bus tickets and everything planned to get back.” 

<< What happened, darlin’? You know you can talk to me.

“I know,” I kept shaking my head, nodding to no one. “I just don’t want to complain. I hate complaining. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” 

<< I get that you hate it. But maybe it’s time you did complain a little. I am here for you, darlin’. I’ll listen and we can talk about it. I don’t want you to feel miserable. Just… can’t believe you decided to visit them when they treat you like shit. 

He was right. They always treated me like shit. As an only child, I was the black sheep of the family. Or they saw me as one. My parents didn’t mind ridiculing me in front of our other relatives or their friends. Even as an adult, they continued to do this to me. I was dumb enough to let them. 

<< Tell me what happened, Y/N.

“We visited my relatives, my father’s sister, and they all ganged up on me,” I said. My voice was low. I whispered most of the time, not to wake anyone up. 

I didn’t trust anyone from my family. They didn’t know I was a mutant, where I was working or that I saved the day multiple times since becoming an X-man. They lost my trust the moment they decided to invade my privacy as a teen and snoop around my messages, diaries and stuff. It wasn’t just that. I was ridiculed for liking books, and for being too excited about the little things in life. My taste for music was weird and laughable. My lack of interest in boys was concerning. It was a whole story. 

“My friend and I wanted to go to a concert in a few months. I got excited someone wanted to attend with me - no, baby, you don’t listen to that kind of music -  and they decided to make me feel miserable for my excitement,” I explained. 

<< Darlin’, why do you always let them do this to you? 

“Because I am dumb,” I rolled my eyes. “Because I hate fights and any type of quarrels. I don’t like conflicts.” 

Logan knew I never mentioned to my family that I was seeing someone. I wasn’t ashamed of the relationship - the opposite, honestly. My family didn’t deserve to know anything about me. 

<< I think it’s time you cut contact with them. I know it sounds horrible when I say it. As If I tried to influence you in some way. Just, fuck, I hate when they make you miserable. Baby, to me, it seems like they don’t care and don’t give a shit about your well-being. 

I knew he was right. And yet, I was afraid to do that step. “They are my parents-”

<<Whom treat you like shit, Y/N. I am so fucking angry at them. I should have come with you. I’d be there to teach them a fucking lesson about respecting the woman I love. 

Those words made me smile. Never in my life have I had someone to defend me like Logan would. The grump, my grump, was there for me when no one was. He was mine for over a year now. 

“You love me, yay,” I said happily. 

<< Baby, you know damn well I love you. I should have been there tonight. I should have been there to let them know how shitty they are. 

I hummed. “That’s okay. I know you’d defend my honour. And I love you for that. I need to survive two more days before I head back to school. The bus drive will be the best thing from this trip.” 

<< The school is your home. So, come back home. Change the bus tickets and leave. I want you here with me, darlin’. 

“No,” I shook my head. “That would be rude. I need to toughen up and survive these last two days. Afterwards, I’m done. Besides, I don’t have a good emergency story.” 

<< You don’t need one. 

“Logan, come on,” I sighed. “I’ll be back in two days. I miss you. Can’t wait to be with you. I’m staying.”

<< Miss you too, darlin’. Two fucking days.

I had to laugh. He was cute and he didn’t know that. After that, we ended the call. I remained sitting on the porch swing, looking at the silent street. Everyone was asleep. The whole neighbourhood calmed down as their residents rested for the night. 

The air got colder, so I moved from the porch, back to my old room and headed to bed. What if I was exaggerating the problem with my parents? What if it was me creating conflict when there wasn’t any? With a heavy sigh, I went to bed. 

The next day was a chaos. Around lunch, my father’s aunt and her family came to the house. “Didn’t your mother tell you? We’ll have lunch together and we wanted to be with you some more before you leave again,” my aunt chuckled at her words. 

“Great,” I said, but I wasn’t thrilled at all.

Her kids were loud, spoilt brats. They’d let them do anything they wanted. It pissed me off. I knew they were my cousins. Unfortunately. As much as I wanted to teach them a lesson and tell them no, their mother would always allow everything. 

Both boys were running around the house, screaming and throwing toys around. To calm them down, they got tablets to do whatever they wanted -  a movie, a game? Why not both? 

Logan was right. I should have left. I didn’t want to spend the rest of the day with them. And with lunch approaching, I knew it would be a stressful one. All the yelling, the bitching and moaning…

We were about to head to the dining table when we heard the doorbell ring once the food was ready to be served. “I’ll get it,” I said. I was the closest to them. 

As I walked to the door, I put my hair in a messy bun, to keep them away when I’d eat. I expected to see a neighbour or another family member that I wasn’t interested in seeing. When I opened the door, I gasped.

“Hey, darlin’.” 

Logan was leaning against the doorframe. He had black sunglasses on his face, dressed in those damn jeans and a green-blue flannel shirt. A brown leather jacket was resting on his shoulders. Dressed to kill… me. Fuck. He looked hot.

“Holy shit, what are you doing here?” My eyes widened, lips twitched because they wanted to curl into a smile. I grabbed him by the leather jacket to pull myself closer to him. He smelled like cigars and nice minty body spray. 

“I came to rescue my princess from this hellhole,” he said, voice firm and serious. 

I coughed. “What? Baby, we’re having an unexpected family lunch,” I made a face. “Holy shit, I can’t believe you are here,” I hummed with a smile. “Wait, did you ask Charles to help you get here? You went through my file!” 

“I needed to get here somehow,” said Logan innocently. “And it seems I am on time for lunch. I am starving.”

My mouth dropped to the floor when I heard him say that. I wanted to say something, anything. Unluckily, my mother decided to make herself present by approaching us. “Oh, hello, is everything okay?” she asked us. 

Logan put down his glasses and grinned at my mother. “I came to see your daughter.” 

“Oh?” 

I looked up at the ceiling, cursing mentally. I felt stress crawl up my back. Not because Logan decided to show up. It was my mother’s subtle reactions. How her brows rose, how I could sense the tension in her body. Or was it thrill?

“This… is… Logan,” I lazily turned to my mother. “He’s my boyfriend.” 

“You have a boyfriend?!” she squealed. “And you didn’t tell us?” It seemed she was offended. “You never tell us anything! Ah! This is a big deal. Oh my god!”

Deep breath in and slow exhale. I did it multiple times. Immediately, Logan approached me as I tried to calm myself down. He rested his hand on my lower back. 

One last deep breath. “Uh, we’ll be right there. I need to talk to Logan for a moment, okay?” 

My mother nodded, grinning like a maniac. She clapped her hands and ran back to the dining room. I knew she would let her mouth run wild and comment on what she saw. Lunch was about to turn into a nightmare. 

“You okay, baby?” Logan asked me gently. 

I pushed him outside and closed the door behind us. I was panicking a little. “This day is crazy,” I mumbled. “Oh my god.” I panicked a little. 

As I got closer to Logan, he wrapped his arms around my body, pressing me to his chest. “Everything will be fine,” he assured me. “You angry at me?” 

“No,” I said. “Quite the opposite. I’m glad you are here,” I inhaled his scent which helped me calm down a bit. “Fuck, you are like a gift from heaven. I should have listened to you and headed back to school. I’ve been receiving shit since the very morning. And now, my aunt and her family are here and… I want to run away.” 

He pressed a kiss on top of my head. “So, let’s go. Fuck them,” he said. “I’ll get your stuff and we are out of here.” 

“It’s not that easy,” I sighed. 

He growled, thinking. “Okay, listen to me,” he pushed me enough to look into my face. “Here’s the deal. One shit, one stupid thing from them, we are out. I don’t give a shit they are your family. They will not disrespect you. I won’t allow that.” 

I didn’t have the chance to say something. Logan took my hand and led me back into the house. He trusted his instinct which led him to a room filled with my family members. The moment we stepped into the dining room, all eyes were on us. 

First came the introductions. My father tried to be intimidating. My uncle used his dumb intelligent humour to impress Logan. Neither of us found it funny. My aunt was too touchy. I wanted to step on her foot for that. My cousins didn’t give a shit. They were interested in their mobile games. 

“How long have you been together?” 

It was the first of many questions. Logan and I sat next to each other. My mother brought a plate for him. One of his hands found my thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. “It’s been over a year now,” he said, voice low and gruff. 

“Where did you meet?” my aunt asked. 

“At work,” I said quickly. “We work in the same building.” 

“Really?” My father didn’t believe that. “He doesn’t look like someone who would work in a big corporate company.”

“Dad!” I glared at him. 

No one knew what I was, what was my real job. I told them a story about my life in New York, working for a big company. For them, I was the daughter who moved to New York. I wasn’t the mutant, the whiny girl they used to call me. Of course, Logan knew it all.

My aunt eyed Logan once more. “They take you seriously with that hair?” she asked him. 

My eyes almost popped out of my head. I couldn’t believe she dared to say it. “Excuse me?” was all I got out of my mouth.

And it got worse. 

“We always believed our Y/N would move to Europe and live her life there. Empty promises how she’d become a writer, leave the country and live a better life,” my mother laughed. “We believed she would be the one to leave the county and do great things. And here we are.” 

“Still can’t believe she didn’t settle down. But what do you want from someone who’s not fond of kids? She always hated kids, so be prepared she wouldn’t want a family with you,” said my aunt. 

“She never went to college. She lied to us about applying, her interest in decusation.” 

“Always complaining and crying.” 

“She was a sensible child.”

“She suffered from depression and anxiety.”

Logan smashed a hand against the table. All the plates and cutlery rang. I closed my eyes, ready to release my last breath from all the humiliation. My family went rampage - saying shit that even they knew was not true. But here we were. 

“Everyone shut your goddamn mouths,” he snarled, slowly rising from the table. “She is your goddamn daughter and you’ve been treating her like shit the moment I sat behind this damn table. How the fuck do you think you make her feel?” 

“Language!” my aunt glared at him. “Children are present.”

“I don’t give a fuck about your two spoilt bastards,” Logan glared at her. “You can’t even make them put the damn tablets down while eating.”

“Who do you think you are?” my mother asked. She was offended by Logan’s behaviour. 

“I am the guy who needs to put you in your fucking place. You do not respect your daughter and you keep humiliating her in front of me. Instead of saying something nice, something positive, you’ve been running your mouth off with a lot of bullshit and I am sick of it.” 

Logan grabbed me by my arm and helped me get up. I barely listened to a word they all said. My mind was spiralling. I felt like the biggest loser, the black sheep of the family. Someone who shouldn’t be born.

“Don’t you fucking dare say one more word about her,” Logan spat at them. “Or I swear, I will make your lives miserable. She’s the most amazing woman in this godforsaken world. She means the world to me. She’s the definition of goodness, kindness and love. And fuck, I don’t deserve her. But I will defend her and show her how worthy of love she is because it seems you never loved her in the first place!” 

Silence. Everyone was glaring at Logan, shocked by the words he said. As if they all forget how to speak. 

“Y/N? How can you be with this rude man?” 

“Rude?” I raised a brow. “You’ve been rude to me the whole week I was here. Logan defended me when no one else did. Even I couldn’t stand up for myself and send you to hell and back! You are the rude here, not him.” 

“That’s not true,” my uncle chimed in.

I got up from the table. “I’m gonna go pack and we’ll be on our way.” 

“I’ll wait for you in the car,” said Logan, quickly pressing a kiss to my temple as I walked by him. 

The packing took me less than five minutes. I threw everything into my suitcase. I made sure I had my documents. The moment I got downstairs with my belongings, my mother was the first by my side. 

“You can’t be serious,” she said. 

“I am.”

“And with that man?”

I stopped and glared at her. My feelings were battling inside of me. I wanted to scream, shout nasty words and throw a tantrum like a child would. However, I would never do that. I hated conflicts. I hated this moment.

“Bye, Mother,” I said and left the house. 

Once I stepped out of the house I grew up in, I felt relief and grief. A chapter, that was supposed to end sooner, finally closed. It was not a happy ending, but it had to happen to move on. Without Logan’s help, I wouldn’t be able to do that. Thank god he came here so unexpectedly. He got my back.

Logan was leaning against the car, cigar in his mouth. When I approached him, he took my suitcase and put it inside the car. 

“Thanks,” I whispered. 

I ended up in his tight embrace. The cigar long forgotten. He had to put it off on his hand. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s get going.” 

“Take me home,” I said with a broken voice. 

“Home?” I knew he was smiling when he said that.

“Yes,” I nodded. “ Like you said - the X-mansion is my home. You are my home. Not this, not here.” 

Logan lifted my head by pressing a finger under my chin. Our eyes met. “I’m sorry they never treated you right. I’m sorry they saw you as something damaged, broken, now worthy of their time” He took a deep breath. “I’ll do everything to show you, that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You…” Logan sighed. “You are the love of my life.” 

“Logan,” I gasped. We told each other many times the three beautiful words. This was something new, deep. It was an undiscovered territory that didn’t feel intimidating. 

His lips found mine in a simple kiss. I tasted the cigars and the coke he had during unfinished lunch. It was perfect. Like a definition of our relationship. “Let’s get you home, darlin’.” 

[ticklishraspberries]

Ren Faire (Eddie/Steve)

Summary: Steve, Eddie, and Robin go to a Renaissance Fair and see some interesting demonstrations. (This fic is for my lovely friend @gigglyrambles!! I literally just pulled this whole plot out of my ass and wrote it in one sitting, so I really hope you like it, LOL. Also, shoutout to @wordstrings because I know she has written something similar for Our Flag Means Death, I hope you don't mind me taking inspiration!!)

Steve isn’t sure how he ended up being dragged along to a Renaissance Fair with none other than Robin and Eddie, but he found it hard to say no to either of their puppy dog eyes and incessant begging.

His outfit is simple, consisting of a white, long-sleeved shirt with laces at the neckline, tight brown pants, and brown boots. He feels only a little bit ridiculous, but after seeing what his friends are wearing, he supposes he isn’t the weirdest looking one.

Eddie is decked out in black, an intricately detailed top with ruffles and buttons. A fake sword sits in a holder on his waist. Robin has gone for a more masculine look, a cloak over her shoulders and a bow and arrow in her hand.

“Screw historical accuracy,” she’d said.

“The fact that you’re a girl isn’t the problem, it’s that you couldn’t hit a moving target with an arrow to save your life,” Eddie had teased, and Robin had elbowed him in the ribs, making Steve laugh.

Now that they’ve arrived, Steve has relaxed a bit. He used to feel out of place whenever he attended events that he wouldn’t have been caught dead at in high school. Corroded Coffin concerts, DnD campaigns, and that one time he drove Eddie and Robin to the nearest gay bar in Indiana. It had definitely been more awkward sober, and before he realized that he’s bisexual, and could have totally had more fun if he’d been aware of and okay with that information at the time.

He’s sort of glad he wasn’t, though, because kissing Eddie Munson during a childish game of truth or dare was a much funnier way to have your queer awakening, and dating Eddie Munson is way more fun than hooking up with random guys in a bar.

“They have really good beer here,” Eddie comments, to which Steve holds up his car keys and jingles them. No medieval mead is going to keep him from being the designated driver.

“I can drive us home,” Robin says, absolutely joking, but Steve still gives her a horrified look and makes a show of sliding his keys back into his pocket, patting the denim for safe keeping. She sticks her tongue out at him, and he flicks her cheek.

Eddie does end up getting some beer, and Steve allows himself a few sips. They’ll be here for at least a few hours, he’ll surely sober up by then. He also samples the gigantic turkey leg that Eddie gets, and Robin wrinkles her nose in disgust at the messy nature of the food.

As they walk around, Steve finds himself getting into the spirit more than he had expected. They eat, watch musical performances, and shop at the little stalls set up by various vendors. Eddie buys a few rings for himself, and buys a handmade mug for Uncle Wayne. Robin indulges in candles and soaps, and even dares to see a fortune teller.

“She said that I’ll meet my future husband soon,” she says, giggling. “Clearly she’s a fraud, or she’d know I’m not interested.”

When Robin runs off to find a bathroom, somehow, Eddie and Steve end up standing around a demonstration about medieval punishments and torture, which Steve expects to be gruesome, and quickly finds he would rather hear gritty, gorey details than stand her and watch this happen.

A pretty girl, probably around their age, is locked into a pair of wooden stocks, and—

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Steve mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Eddie looks absolutely delighted as he leans in close. “What’s wrong, Stevie? The demonstration isn’t bothering you, is it?” he asks. His cheeks are flushed, too. A few months ago, Eddie would probably be the one stuttering and staring at the ground right now, but ever since he introduced this little world to Steve, he’s gained a confidence about it that only comes out when he gets to tease Steve into oblivion.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up, I’m trying to watch. Maybe I can get some pointers from these guys.”

‘These guys’ refers to the two men who have started tickling the girl’s trapped feet, and frantic giggles fill the air and make Steve’s stomach flip.

“Oh, she’s handling this better than you would,” Eddie continues to tease. “I’d already be called every insult under the sun if you couldn’t kick me instead.”

“I will kick you right now,” Steve threatens. It’s a complete lie. He’s frozen to the spot on the grass, torn between watching and focusing on the grass. Everyone else in the crowd is behaving like this is so normal, no big deal, just a silly show.

One of the men has moved behind the girl to tickle her ribs, her arms secured above her head. Steve crosses his arms over his chest, subconsciously protecting his own sensitive spots, like just watching her could tickle him, too.

“You love that spot,” Eddie coos. “You make the cutest sounds when I tickle you there.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you,” Steve grits out.

“Sure you will, sweetheart. Can it wait ‘til after I’ve made you cry real pretty for me?”

Just then, Robin appears at his side. “This looks like my worst nightmare,” she says. “I hope this girl is getting paid well.”

Steve makes a noise of agreement, but can’t bring himself to look over. Eddie Munson is going to be the fucking death of him. Thankfully, Robin is immediately bored of the display and drags them off to explore. Eddie subtly gives Steve’s side a quick pinch as he walks past him, and Steve suddenly can’t wait to go home.

***

“You are a fucking menace,” Steve accuses the moment they’ve made it through the door.

His parents aren’t home, Robin was dropped off back at her house, and now, Steve is alone with Eddie for the first time all day, and he refuses to voice how excited he is for whatever Eddie’s got planned.

But Eddie just grins, tugging off the more elaborate pieces of his costume, leaving himself in socks, boxers, and a white t-shirt. He makes his way to the kitchen, comes back with two cans of beer, sits on the couch like he isn’t ignoring the clear tension in the room.

Steve gapes at him for a minute before joining him on the couch, kicking off his boots and taking a beer as well. Maybe Eddie’s changed his mind…Maybe he just isn’t the mood, and Steve isn’t going to pressure him into anything.

But…Well, he has a sneaking suspicion that isn’t the case at all.

“If you’re waiting for me to ask, it’s not gonna happen,” he says.

“Ask for what?” Eddie tilts his head curiously, but there’s a glint in his eye that proves Steve’s theory.

“Nothing,” Steve replies, playing along. “All that talk back there just made me think you had a plan for when we got home. But if you’re not interested, that’s fine too.”

“Did you want me to have a plan?”

Steve huffs. “Maybe. But if you don’t, then let’s forget about it.”

“Oh, c’mon baby,” Eddie says, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulling him close. “All you’ve gotta do is ask if you want it so bad.”

His cheeks burn. Stubborn as ever, he shakes his head.

Eddie sighs with exaggerated disappointment. “If you insist. I guess I’ll just keep my hands to myself tonight…”

“Good,” Steve says, and turns the television on.

It takes two beers and a stupid scene in a film to break him. It’s a quick, barely there tickle, but the character’s laugh makes Steve perk up like a dog hearing a doorbell ring.

“Fine,” he says.

“What’s fine?” Eddie asks.

“Just fucking tickle me, you dick.”

Eddie grins and wastes no time, lunging across the couch and pinning Steve to the cushions.

“I knew you’d crack eventually, sweetheart,” he teases. “Sorry we don’t have quite the same set up, but I’ll hold you down real nice, okay?”

Steve is already grinning. He can’t help it, he’s so lovestruck by his boyfriend and desperate to laugh his head off. And laugh he does when Eddie goes straight for his ribs, scratching at the dips between each little bone.

“There’s that pretty sound,” he says, pressing a kiss to Steve’s jaw that is both sweet and ticklish under the current circumstance.

The stupid shirt with the laces is pulled over his head and discarded on the floor, and Eddie pins Steve’s wrists and tells him to stay still before exploring each ticklish spot on his torso, making him shriek and cackle and snort like a fool.

He doesn’t stay still for very long, arms shooting down to his sides when Eddie attacks his belly with blunt fingernails, and Eddie scolds him but doesn’t stop.

As he squirms on the couch, giggling like mad, he wonders if they sell some of those bondage contraptions there. He thinks that they should go back to the Ren Faire sometime. 

[yume-x-hanabi]

Life update

Posted on DW, but I figured I could update this blog as well now that I'm semi-getting back into social media...

I've sorta fallen off from the fandom and social media space, because life has been a lot these past few years. To sum up briefly:

- I made a couple of posts about it last year, but I bought an apartment in a new building (construction wasn't finished at the time). Running left and right to choose stuff such as flooring etc, getting things organized on the paperwork side (banks, notaries...), plus the move itself, took me a lot of time and energy. I've been living here full time for 10 months now though, and it's been great. Love the building (even tho it's not entirely finished orz), love the neighbourhood, and it's so great to have your own place. Missy seems at ease here, too, which is important. The balconies' guardrails are huge glass panes that go all the way to the floor with no gap, so that means I can let her out without supervision without fear of her falling/jumping off.

- Work, the main culprit for my withdrawal from fandom. I think I mentioned before that I took on more admin tasks a couple years ago, and while I enjoy the actual work when I get to it, it's a huge huge drain to my mental energy, esp when combined with everything else (class prep, exams, meetings etc). So it's pretty much killed my drive, and my already bad work-life balance just became worse and worse. Like, it's not that I don't have free time (perks of teaching = lots of holidays), but when I do I'm so mentally exhausted that I was pretty much only able to play mindless games like Solitaire or Civilization VI (which became like an addiction lol) or doomscroll on twitter or reddit. I pretty much lost my ability to engage with hobbies, except for the ones below, and I'm trying really really hard to come back and make it stick this time around.

- Speaking of hobbies though, I've gotten really into classical music and started attending concerts regularly. By perfect coincidence, my new place is at a 2-minute walk from my city's philharmonic hall, and I've been enjoying the heck out of that perk. My city's orchestra is really good, and their program so varied. When it was time to choose my subscription for next season, it was harder to choose which concerts not to attend (but a choice had to be made ;v;). Also I'm super stoked because they're playing my favorite symphony next year, I didn't expect to be able to hear it live so soon!

I think this really saved my mental health this year. Like, it's a bit hard to explain, but there's something really unique and relaxing about the atmosphere there. It's a bit intimidating at first, and I was really self-conscious about not making noise at the beginning, but I've gotten used to it now. Mostly, I think it helped me rediscover what it is to just sit down and enjoy the moment, without constantly looking for stimulation to my already overstimulated mind (silly aside, but before that I'd sorta lost the ability to binge a series without mindlessly checking my phone in the middle of episodes. Being "forced" to keep my phone away for the duration of a concert has really helped me recover my attention span). I think it helps my mind rest, if that makes sense? Also there's nothing comparable to listening to the music live in a hall with great acoustics x3

I followed the Queen Elisabeth Competition closely this year, live for a few finals performances when possible, the rest on TV, and it was really awesome. I think in four years I'll get the subscription for the whole finals week :p

- Relatedly, I've also started taking violin lessons. I'd always wanted to learn an instrument since I was a child (loved those mandatory recorder classes we had at school lol), but it never happened (partly because I was too passive as a child to actively ask for it, partly because my parents probably didn't want to have their eardrums massacred, so didn't offer it (wouldn't have said no if I'd asked, but as I said I wasn't good at asking back then)). It took me a while to actually make the jump, because I thought I'm too old now and there's no point, but I finally did with some encouragements from friends and colleagues and I'm really glad I did. Violin is... hard lol. I sound absolutely terrible. But it's also really fun? Like I feel like I'll never be good, but also I've made so much progress since I started. I don't have much time to practice (I aim at at least 10min a day these days, which isn't a lot, but it's better than nothing and it's more important to do it a little regularly than a lot once in a while). I'm really looking forward to the day I'll be able to attempt to play Xillia songs 😄 Also I really love my teacher<3

- Lastly, niece is 3 now and so fun to interact with. It's not always easy, she's very stubborn and willful, but she's also really sweet and funny. Love her ❤️ And she's just got a little sister! who's a very chill newborn, so different from niece#1 lol. I can't wait to see them play together when they're a little bit older.

Anyway, that's pretty much the main things that have been going on the past couple of years. Like I said I'm not sure I can be totally back, I think it's gonna take a lot of adjustment, but this time I really don't want to let another year pass by like that. I'm really gonna try hard to have better balance this time!

[lucy90712]

Gavi watching his s/o perfoming at her concert and him being so happy and proud of her.

WC: 2.2k Tonight is the night my dream finally comes true. I have always liked to sing and I've wondered if I could ever make it as a singer but for a long time that felt impossible. As it turns out it it's not impossible as I just released my first album and now I'm going to perform my first ever concert. 

A few years ago my dream still felt impossible but then I met Pablo. We started off as friends after a mutual friend introduced us but we were both attracted to each other so things quickly progressed into us dating. A few months after we met we made things official and once we did we were pretty much inseparable. One day I was over at his place waiting for him to get home from training as he wanted us to spend as much time together as possible as he had a busy time coming up. While I was waiting I was making the both of us lunch and like I always do I was singing as I work but I was so in my own world that I didn't hear the door open and Pablo come in. As soon as he heard me singing and we talked about it a bit Pablo insisted that I at least try and make it as a singer. 

Pablo did everything he could to support me as I started proper voice lessons and begin to write and record songs. I used some of the money I had saved to pay for all of that but Pablo also helped me out which I tried to tell him not to do but he insisted on helping me out. When things felt impossible and like a waste of time Pablo encouraged me by saying that he used to feel that way when he was younger but now he's achieved his dream because he kept working hard. He really wanted us both to be living our dreams and be that power couple who have both worked so hard to achieve their dreams all while supporting each other every step of the way. It was his positivity and belief in me that kept me going even when things were hard. 

After a lot of hard work behind the scenes I released my first song which a few people listened to but it wasn't a success at all. That didn't deter me though I kept going and trying to find my style which eventually I did and that was rewarded by the song somehow blowing up on tiktok which brought more attention to all of my other music. Once more people started to listen to my music I made sure that I kept them interested by putting out more music as quickly as I could. Eventually things became more stable and I had created a proper fan base which was doing nothing but growing. Once it got to this point Pablo used my song in his Instagram story and a few weeks later we went public with our relationship which helped me a lot too. He offered his help from the beginning but I wanted to make it on my own as that's the only way I'd feel like my success was my own. 

Since then I've been working hard every day and I even quit my job as I was starting to make money from my music and Pablo said he would help support me if I needed it. Last month I released my first full album and now I'm preparing for my first concert right where it all started in Barcelona. After this I have a small tour around Spain but I just had to start here in Barcelona so that Pablo and the rest of my friends could attend. 

I have been at the venue for a few hours already because I had to be here to do sound check as well as many other things but the main reason I got here so early is because I'm so nervous. I barely slept last night because I was so worried that no one would turn up even though I know exactly how many tickets have been sold. Also running through my mind was the thought that everyone might hate my voice as I know I'll sound different in real life even though I don't use auto tune. We had sound check first which took my mind off things for a bit but then I was back to sitting around until rehearsals which allowed me to go back to thinking about everything that could go wrong. After rehearsals I had a few hours until the start of the show which was supposed to be for me to get ready but I started it by sitting and having a panic attack. 

"Are you ok my love?" Pablo asked as he poked his head round the door 

"Yeah I'm fine what are you doing here so early" I said 

"I wanted to come and see you because I knew you'd be nervous and I can tell that you are not having a good time so its a good thing I'm here" he said 

"Now tell me what's going through your mind" he said 

"I just don't want everyone to hate me I mean what if I'm not as good as they thought I was" I said 

"If anyone thinks that then they're crazy because I know nothing about singing but you have always sounded like an angel to me even when you're not trying so everyone will love you don't stress yourself over that" he said 

"I'm definitely not that good but thank you" I laughed 

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?" He asked 

"Yeah I am" I replied 

"Then what are you waiting for you I know I love watching you get ready" he smiled 

He wasn't lying so I grabbed all of my makeup stuff and started to get myself ready while Pablo sat behind me watching in the mirror as his arms clung around my waist. While I was concentrating he just kept talking which was actually really helpful as it kept me distracted and made me laugh every now and then. Once my makeup was done it was time for hair and Pablo being the good boyfriend he is helped me section my hair and hold strands out the way while I did the style I had planned. He then helped me into my outfit while I put my earpieces in as there was only a few minutes until I was supposed to go on. 

Once I was ready Pablo grabbed my hand and we walked backstage together. That's when I started to hear the crowd and things suddenly felt so much more real than they did earlier. All of those people are here for me which is such a crazy concept and slightly overwhelming to think about. Pablo must've been able to tell that I was getting nervous again as he spun me round to face him and placed his hands on my waist. He held me close to him and had me look directly into his eyes which made it feel like we were the only two people there which really calmed my anxiety. 

"You've got this cariño just go out there and give it your all I will be right there the whole time so just look at me if you feel anxious" he said 

"Thank you amor" I whispered back 

With that he let go of me and gave me one last kiss before running off to make it to his seat. I jumped up and down a bit and to hype myself up before finally walking out onto the stage. The noise was almost deafening as people in the crowd screamed and cheered for me. I couldn't help but smile knowing that there was this much excitement just to hear me sing I mean I'm not anything special I'm not like Taylor Swift but I sure felt like it walking out into that stage. To help settle myself I spoke to the crowd a bit and I looked for Pablo who was sat with some of the boys right in my eye line. 

When I finally started my set I begun to feel a whole lot more confident and I really got into it. I was completely in my own world feeling myself as I sung all of my songs and did all of the dances I had worked on with a choreographer. Every now and then I looked over to Pablo who was singing along every time I looked over without a care in the world which gave me even more confidence to do the same. All of the boys looked like they were having a good time but when I caught Pablo's eyes and saw him give me the biggest smile I could feel his proud he was. For a second I wondered if that's how he felt when I did the same for him whilst he was playing but I couldn't think about it for too long as the show had to go on. 

"I have one last song for you all I'm sure you can guess which one it is but before I start I want to thank a special someone who's actually here watching me today" I said 

"Pablo thank you for believing in me every step of the way if you hadn't of convinced me to give singing a try there is no way I'd be stood here today I owe all of this to you so thank you for helping me achieve my dream" I continued 

As I performed my last song I kept my eyes on Pablo who had tears in his eyes which were obvious even from a distance. This song was one of the first ones I ever wrote and it has always been his favourite of mine so it was only right to dedicate it to him and sing it as if we were the only people mind the room. The whole night had been magical but this moment made me feel like I was dreaming I could faintly hear the crowd in the background as I rounded up this amazing experience by sending a kiss to Pablo who sent one right back. Before leaving the stage I thanked everyone for coming and thanked the small team I had helping me as they deserve some of the recognition too. 

Once I got off stage and back to my dressing room all of the adrenaline left my body and suddenly I was exhausted but also all of the emotions caught up with me and nothing could wipe the smile off my face. The fact that I'd just done my first concert finally sunk in and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in myself this is such a big occasion and could mark the start of a whole new life for me especially as I leave tomorrow for my next show in Madrid. After a few minutes of alone time there was a knock on my dressing room door so I went to open it thinking it might be my manager coming to check on me but instead I was greeted by Pablo and everyone else who came holding bouquets of flowers. There was so many flowers that once they were handed to me I couldn't see anything so I had to put them all down in the small sofa in the room. I thanked all the guys for coming and for the flowers and they all congratulated me on my performance before they all left so that I could be with Pablo. It only took a matter of seconds before Pablo smashed his lips onto mine. 

"You were so amazing out there" he said giving me a kiss in between each word 

"Thank you it felt amazing I've never felt such a rush in my life" I said 

"I knew you'd have the best time" he smiled 

"Also you didn't have to say all that about me this is your success all I did was steer you in the right direction" he said 

"I know but you've supported me whenever I wanted to give up and you posting with my songs has helped me a lot I really do owe you a lot because I wouldn't be here without you" I said 

"Thats sweet of you to say but I think you were destined for this life I'm glad I get to be a part of it and see you live your dream" he said 

"You're going to make me cry" I laughed 

"Don't cry my love just be happy you achieved a big thing today you should be smiling and so proud of yourself" he said 

We stayed at the venue for a bit longer before Pablo drove me back to his place so we could spend the night together. Along the way he got me to order whatever food I wanted for dinner was I hadn't eaten since lunch and was starving. We spent the night watching movies together on the sofa eating a lot of food all of which Pablo shouldn't have but he told me it was fine as it was a special day which only made the smile on my face bigger if that was even possible. 

[misc-obeyme]

OKAY I'M WRITING THIS ON THE BUS TO WORK I'VE GOT 40 MINUTES AND PRAYING NO ONE LOOKS OVER MY SHOULDER.

Hello it's been over a month since the last part 😭 I've lost the groove. But uhh remember how I said Dia is a sponsor for the tour? He definitely ropes Belphie into attending some shows for promo pics. Belphie is going to attend the very first concert stop that night (there's maybe like four before the show in their city or something)

I'm thinking Lucifer is checking in on Mammon when I burst into the shop, running late but still making a stop for breakfast. Mammon slides my order towards me, waving his hand when I try to pay. Cue me glaring at him and stuffing a $20 bill in his tip jar BECAUSE HE CAN'T KEEP TRYING TO GIVE SOLOMON AND I FREE FOOD.

And he scoffs because I know I don't carry cash, BUT NOW I HAVE TO BC I GOTTA TO PAY HIM !! SIR !! YOU'LL GO OUT OF BUSINESS !! Lucifer is watching this all with a raised eyebrow. (He definitely makes his family pay. Luke is the only other one to get free stuff.)

anyway when I'm reaching for my drink he grabs my wrist impulsively because he notices I'm wearing new bracelets ??

"The hell are these?"

"I made them for my concert! Y'know, the one I keep talking about? Where I didn't come for a while because I had no money? It's in a couple days !!"

of course he knows about the concert. he knows about it, but Solomon and him kept forgetting the exact date. He also forgot to ask beg Lucifer to ask Dia for tickets.

"Why're ya making bracelets?" At the same time Lucifer asks "Concert? What concert?" because he did NOT know I was attending. He was actually planning to stop by after finishing checking on Mammon to present me with tickets.

"Fall Out Boy! My favorite band ever? The one I'm always playing in the shop? They're coming here! And I bought tickets so long ago and I'm so excited because it's my first concert and they're my favorite band ever and *wheezes for air* AND I GOT FLOOR SEATS TOO AND THEY'RE LIKE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE AND I CAN'T WAIT AND TO TRADE BRACELETS- ohmygod I'm even more late now okay bye guys!"

And Lucifer is kinda sitting there shocked. He doesn't know why he didn't expect me to buy tickets. Now he must recalculate.

"Hey Lucifer..." With the tone he used to use when he wanted to borrow money before starting the cafe. "I'm not bailing you out of bankruptcy for giving away food to your crushes." "C-CRUSHES? W-WHA? WHO SAID THAT, I AIN'T SAY NOTHIN LIKE THAT-" "Mammon." "Damn it, Lucifer, that ain't what I was gonna ask! I was gonna ask... Diavolo's sponsoring this thing, ain't he?" "And what of it if he is?" "...Ya think he has two extra tickets? I'll pay for 'em no problem. I just don't want her going alone, ya know?"

And Lucifer stares at him for a long time. So long Mammon is getting nervous, wringing a rag in his hands. And it clicks for Lucifer how he'll save this.

"Find out what seat she's purchased and let me know. I'll ask Diavolo and see what I can do. No promises, Mammon."

And Mammon practically beams while letting out a big breath. He nods enthusiastically and texts Solomon 'I need to find out what seat that ticket she bought is' to not forget, because he knows he'll be texting Solomon later anyway and will see the last message he sent, so he's sure to not forget. Foolproof plan.

"You need just two tickets, or three seats together?"

"...Three seats together. I said two tickets because she already has one, don't she? One for me, one for Solomon."

"Interesting. I'll let you know."

"Eh?! What is that supposed to mean?!"

okay uhh next part is gonna have beel and belphie i think at the cafe visiting mammon!! im happy to be writing this again. I did make bracelets when I attended this concert but I only made twenty the night before 😭 I had procrastinated so long and debated because I was too afraid of going up to people to hand them out. But I did get to trade !! I still have all the one's I got.

Um umm I had other things to say I'm forgetting. I looked up from my phone and panicked because I thought I missed my stop o(-( nah it was just construction making everything unrecognizable

have i named my mc before? i can't remember. i just keep avoiding using her name akwkwjd oops

OKAY BYE HAVE A GOOD DAY, MANAGED TO FINISH THIS BEFORE GETTING TO MY STOP

- ✨

MC NAME REVEAL, READY GO~

LOL but seriously, I have not heard her name and now I wish to know it! I know YOUR name of course, since I have stalked your blog a bit since you came off anon~ ah sorry if that's creepy~

But anyway!!

Lucifer to the rescue!!! What a guy, he's so nice in this story but still totally himself I love it~

Mammon giving away food to his crushes ;asldkfjdf and OF COURSE the only other one who gets free food is Luke that's so cuuuuuute!

I also LOVE the detail of Mammon texting Solomon something so that he'll remember it. It tells us so much about Mammon (ADHD lol), but it also speaks volumes about his relationship with Solomon at this point, too. Because if you know you're going to be texting someone that often, then they must be pretty important to you. And also you must feel comfortable with them if you're texting them little reminders for yourself. I just think this is a really cute detail~

Anyway, as always, I'm here for this sweet story!!

[kimmysurveyblog]

54

What do you want for your birthday? I have no idea. Staple clothing items are always appreciated, like socks or a sweater.

What’s your favorite flavor of tea? Mint with honey is all I ever drink (when sick).

What’s your favorite fall drink? Pumpkin cream cold brew!

What’re you going to be for Halloween? A tired mom. I truly don't care for this holiday at all. Counting the days until Nov 1st so I can go into CHRISTMAS MODE! :)

Do you think you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot in the past year? For sure. I've been the mom of a toddler which is difficult of course, but also my Mom died. I don't have any living parents. It's been quite the year. I'm very excited for a fresh start in 2 months!

Are you satisfied with how you’ve spent your year? Yes! I'm in the era of my life where I'm 100% focused on my young child and have little time or energy for much else. I'm proud of myself for getting into the habit of exercising while she naps. :)

Do you have a lot of friends? No.

Do you own a yellow scarf? No.

Do you own anything leopard print? Nope.

Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? Yes!

Are you excited for something currently? Halloween, I guess. My daughter will be excited.

If you could change just one thing about your life right now, what would it be? I have this dark cloud hanging over me lately and I'd like it to go away.

What’s your favorite color? Purple.

Are you artistic? Nope.

When was that last time you drew a picture in a sketchbook? Years ago. That used to be one of my hobbies.

Is there a tree right outside your bedroom window? No.

Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? Probably.

Have you ever been to a masquerade? No.

Do you eat vegetables? Rarely. It's one thing I struggle with.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? Several.

Did anything bad happen to you in August? I don't think so.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Boyfriend.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No.

Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? Maybe.

Have you done anything sexual today? No.

Do you have a second mom? There was an older woman I met online who I considered my second mom and she really stepped up when my dad died + my mom basically abandoned me. She passed away about 10 years ago now. I miss her so much.

Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? Mommy.

If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? No idea.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? Man.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Yes.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair.

Have you ever eaten something other people might think is gross? Nah.

When was the last time you colored with crayons? Yesterday. I have a toddler lol.

When you were a kid, who was your best pal? I had many throughout the years.

Have you ever been to a nursing home? Visited people, and worked in one.

Do you own any board games? Maybe.

Were you born in the state you live in? Province and yes.

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into? No.

Who do you know that watches the most sports? My boyfriend's mom and stepdad.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? No.

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? I just got a save the date in the mail today! Next September.

Do you live anywhere near the woods? Yes.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Mine & my boyfriend's, and my parents.

What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? Monster.

Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? I had a few zits during puberty (and pregnancy lol) but not much else fortunately.

What will be the next concert you attend? Nooo idea.

Can you rap? No.

What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Two big mac combos and a happy meal.

Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? No.

Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? Yes.

Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. I had Norovirus as an adult and it fucking sucked.

Any important birthdays coming up? Nope.

Fireworks: yay or nay? I hate them. Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? No idea. I haven't done a long car trip in years.

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? No.

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! No.

Do you like people watching and is it something you do often? If so, where are your favorite locations to do so? No.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? Pizza.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest? ACNH inspo.

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more? Ohhh no idea. Both equally maybe.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? Candy probably.

What was the last song you listened to? A song from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack probably. My toddler is OBSESSED right now.

Have you discovered any new hobbies in the past couple months? Exercise maybe? I've been doing this since the beginning of June.

What's the wildest animal you've ever come in contact with? No idea.

Do you ever question if your mother loves you? No.

What is your favorite type of Lunchables? The pizza one.

Are any of your siblings' friends like family to you? Yes, one of them.

Do you have any friends who you exchange memes with? Of course.

Are you in any Discord servers? How often do you use them? I'm in several but I only actively use one related to parenting and the "couple" Discord I have with my boyfriend. Highly recommend!! It's so freaking useful, especially now that we have a kid.

Have you ever had to see an emergency vet after hours? Yes. My ex stepped on my dog accidentally. She was fine thankfully.

When was the last time you sat under a blanket on a couch? No idea.

Can you bite into ice cream or are your teeth too sensitive? No idea.

Do you know anyone who's been bitten by a snake? No.

Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? Strawberries.

Biggest insecurity? My stomach. It's always been my biggest insecurity but that's obviously worse since having a child.

Describe your mom with one word. Missed.

Do you like fast food or does it disgust you? I enjoy it. We usually get it once a week.

Who was the last person you kissed? Bf.

What’s your favourite alcoholic drink? Craft beer.

Do you like the smell of BBQs? Yes!

Do wasps scare you? No.

Have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? Yesss all the time in the Winter to take out the garbage or get/take out the dog. I should really just buy a pair of slip on shoes.

Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? No.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No.

Have you ever lost your voice? Last time I got sick.

Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Yup.

Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? We have one child. :)

Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? Ex bf.

Do you know anyone who is engaged? Cousin.

What are you listening to? Cars going by.

What was the last thing you looked up on Google? Sugar cookie recipe.

Ever been kissed on the leg? Maybe?

Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Yes of course.

Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? Yes.

Have you ever had a Big Mac? Yes!

[angelic-eros]

I’m doing much better today. I’m feeling more alive than I was a while ago.

A man walked into work today who I hadn’t seen in months. One who told me I remind him of his home and who I planned to paint my room with. He had one drink and then left to pack for his flight to Scotland.

A friends cat climbed onto my lap and reached to place her paw on my neck the way my cat who passed earlier this year did. I started to tear up in my friends living room while we talked about concerts and clothes.

I fought to remember a store me and an old fling used to pass when we would walk to the park we’d sit and drink in until midnight but never went in. Instead we’d walk past and buy cheap alcohol and talk about sex and drug parties I’d never plan on attending, if just to make the time go quicker.

I made a white dress for an event next week that makes me feel beautiful. On Sunday I will have a day off work and a regular told me I should go to church. Instead I will spend it making the outfit for a concert in the city I travelled to to lose my virginity with a man I haven’t spoken to since I came out as a lesbian.

Today I will go to a museum and look at the artists that came before me and I will be with the partner who I confessed to after time in a rose garden and a blossom tucked behind my ear that still is saved in my phone case.

All this happened today and all these events first happened in the first few months of this year. I feel exhausted but I feel alive and I feel loved. And that’s better than I felt a few months ago.

[purplesurveys]

1716

What TV shows are you watching at the moment? Nothing. I prefer vlogs these days.

Do you enjoy having deep, philosophical conversations? No they're my least favorite conversations to have haha. I'm not cut out for philosophy and I always zone out when a convo starts to steer towards that direction. Deep talks are fun, it's just philosophical ones I find boring.

Have you ever studied human anatomy? Kind of? We took up human body systems in grade school, but a couple of years ago I also had a phase where I got hooked to this anatomy channel on YouTube and watched many of their videos. I personally find biology and anatomy interesting so I'll learn it on my own sometimes.

Do you plan to do much or go anywhere tomorrow? I unfortunately do have work the whole day tomorrow, a Sunday. I have shoots to monitor at 10 AM and around 7 PM; I also have an event to help manage in the afternoon.

The thing is it'll be Yoongi's final final FINAL concert tomorrow so I imagine I'll have earphones on so I don't miss out. I'm just sad because I already planned to watch weeks in advance, and both those ^ work things came up super last-minute.

What was your favourite fairytale when you were growing up? Does the Barbie Rapunzel count as a fairytale? I watched that movie all the time.

Did you feel bored before you started this survey? No I'm actually extremely anxious right now so I've been needing to take surveys to distract myself and shake off the restlessness.

Have you applied for a job recently? I haven't.

Do you have vivid dreams? They can be, but I also forget them very easily. 

Would you have more word documents or images saved on your computer? Images. I mean there's Google Workspace, so that's reduced the need to download all my word documents and slides every time.

Have you ever experienced severe health anxiety? Nope.

Do you have a drink with you right now and if so, what is it? If not, what would you like to be drinking right now? I have a cup of coffee with me now, yes.

Are you home alone right now? Nope, my family's downstairs.

What do you use - haha, lmao, lol, rofl? Something else entirely? Haha, lol, lmao.

What noises can't you stand to hear? When the spoon or fork hits the plate at a certain angle and it makes this horrible grating sound. Also, doors being slammed.

What's your favourite pasta shape?  Fettuccine.

What state, territory or province do you live in? It's like one cartwheel away from Metro Manila, which is super convenient because I'm away from the traffic but can easily go to the city for whatever it is I need.

Would you rather be sleeping right now? Not really sleeping, but I'd rather not be actively worrying right now. It's like, I'm highly aware that I'm taking this survey as an escape and as a distraction, but I wish I was taking it just because. And knowing that I'm taking this as a distraction just makes me feel bad somehow.

Are you still in touch with anyone you went to high school with? Yes quite a number of people. I'm close with a few and remain social media friends with a lot.

Do you use the Notes app on your phone much? If so, what for? Yes, it's very reliable for work. If there's something I need to take note of or I get grabbed in an impromptu meeting, it gets the job done.

Who did you last have a deep conversation with? Jo.

Do you prefer floral or fruity scents? Fruity. Floral makes me dizzy.

What's your favourite non-dairy milk? Oat.

Do you have any tattoos? If so, tell me about one. I don't have any.

Where are your siblings right now? Downstairs.

Which sibling are you closest to, both physically (distance) and emotionally? My sister. 

Did you attend pre-school as a kid? Yes.

What's something you need to buy soon? New nipple covers.

Have you ever been evicted from your home? If so, did you think it was fair? I haven't.

If you could learn any language, what would it be? Korean.

Do you go to cemeteries regularly? Who do you visit? I don't. I do visit my grandpa once every few months, but he's in a columbarium.

[ajoytobeheld]

UK Tour notes

October 23rd, 2009

It’s rather bizarre to think that we have not played UK centric shows in a year, the last two gigs have made it seem like we have never been away. We have quickly settled back into the routine of sitting in a splitter driving along the M roads talking utter rubbish whilst ��longing for  M & S themed service stations.

Those of you who attended the concert last night in Southampton can adhere to the fact it was a heat pit akin to the ninth circle of hell and the stage was littered with sprinkles of sweat. I would like to give a special shout out to the guy who informed me he braved the humidity despite the fact it made his hair frizzy. Well done.

The Juno Keyboard did not have such a good time and stopped making a noise that was pleasing to the ears. It was kind of like this “duhhhrrrhhr” noise….BUT Rob “Sparky” Taylor saved the day by distracting the audience with a long winded joke about a child on a death bed whose dying wish is for a golf ball,  if you missed out it was bloody funny and will be remembered as a golden gig moment for generations to come.

Coventry was also rather great, with the venue having a particularly fetching outdoor area with Palm trees straight out a LA beach party (I would imagine, I have attended none but I have watched The Hills.)  We also got to meet the lovely Copy Haho for the first time who made a few of us jagermesiter cocktail things, which had an elaborate name but in essence were said spirit and red bulls. I think they are meant to stimulate you before leaving you twitchy with a itching sense of your own mortality. Myself and Kim also got invited to go and dance with four drunk guys dressed like security guards who were attending the club night afterwards but the haunting sounds of a Lady GaGa remix did not tempt us (it was not even paparazzi, thats a tune.)

But all this waffle is leading up to a favour I have to ask…

I had a unfortunate incident a month ago where my camera met some water and they didn’t get on, so I borrowed my mums camera but she lost the connecter wire thing so….. I cant upload pictures.

I thought maybe YOU would like to send me some pictures of the gigs for documentation/making the blog posting look sexier/sexy photos of us for me to pleasure myself over! However only send one image which you think really summed up the gig experience for yourself, and the ones I like the most will get used. Remember my criteria is vague, and my judgement is awful. Send your pictures to tourphotojoy@live.com

Thanks

Ellen x

[andiska]

KTY_309 4EVA, GG4EVA

This tumblr post entry is 3 years 1 month after my last one, and this is about an event I attended 3 months ago. An event that made me go way back to the first time I liked this girl-group, and especially this one small cute little person. She's 2 years older than me, but I do want to put her in my pocket.

It all started around May-June 2023 when I saw information on Twittter (yes, I'm never going to call it 'X' though) that my bb is going on tour, which my half-ass country got listed in. There was rumor on dates and venue capacity, when it was officially announced turns out different date and venue capacity from the rumor. I was very worried if I didn't get ticket for Jakarta Taengcon, I even determined to save money to go to Bangkok to catch the tour.

And on June 30th, my sister helped me to war on the tickets. And I got the ticket! I got a lot of consideration but because I reaaaaally want to go, so I went. And it was the best decision I've ever made, and to think I will very regret it if I didn't go. The concert was very very very good. We can see that, even after few months I'm still thinking and talking about the concert and even cried myself out everytime I see KTY on social media.

Their last activity as a group was on August 2022 which they released a full album on their 15th anniversary, for the sake of the fans. It was truly my only ups in 2022, so I enjoyed it very much. Other than being fatherless, which I didn't enjoyed it that much.

And before 2022, it was 2017. Their last year being active, and which 3 from 8 was out from SM, between 2017 to 2022 it was just normal fangirling mood because fans were kind of both pessimist and optimist to see another group activity. That is until I went to Taengcon...

Yup, that's me. 10 years apart. Wearing my own designed t-shirt for the concert 😅

I mean, look at her 😳🥵

The concert was very emotional for both KTY and all fans, from the first time she come up on stage we can really see and feel how she's very nervous. And went along the way until the end we can see her very playful, flirty 😳, and happy to interacts with the fans. And we had our fan events which one of them is a banner said

"태연 마음 = 소원 마음"

meaning Taeyeon's Heart = Sone's Heart.

Which KTY herself agreed on it 👍🏼

And now all my feelings from before adult life has come to the surface once again, and we're both #YATEAM so here we are.

I was so happy to see her happy at the concert, doing the best thing that she love very much. And with the deadly wavy black hair, just O M G it feels like my birthday that day.

I'm going to meet her again soon, I know I will, I know I am.

[aci32]

OBITUARY AND IMMOLATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey folks, sorry for running two weeks late but better late than never, here is my 3rd review of 2023, Obituary and Immolation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 5th time seeing Obituary as I hadn’t seen them in almost 4 years, not since 3 days after I turned 30 at the time and when I saw them they also played at The Phoenix on October 17th, 2019, much like they did two weeks ago. They always get better with each performance and they’re always a treat to see live. I will also add this would’ve been my 6th time seeing them had I not missed them with Amon Amarth last December.

Let’s begin the festivities!

I missed Ingrown because I was busy buying merch and had to get more dough since I noticed I was short, but thankfully I got that sorted out.

After I got done with merch shopping it was time for Blood Incantation. This was my 2nd time seeing them as I last saw them funnily enough as direct support for Immolation and I’ll be honest they were nothing special this time around, in fact I found them boring, so all the more reason for me to save my headbanging energy for Immolation and Obituary.

After Blood Incantation it was time for IMMOLATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 8th time seeing them as I saw them 6 months ago as direct support for Cannibal Corpse. I’ll also highlight this was my 2nd time seeing Immolation at the Phoenix as last I saw them at the Phoenix was a decade ago on the 2nd annual Decibel tour with Beyond Creation, Napalm Death, and Cannibal Corpse. I’ll also point out in between songs, fans in the pit area randomly chanted “Fuck Trudeau” and I”m thinking “Uhh.. okay that was random as I’d expect to hear that chant at a Ted Nugent concert if he were to come up to Canada” then Ross Dolan got on the mic and said “I don’t need to hear anything about politics as we’re here to escape from that bullshit” which he’s right since concerts are a way of escaping the real world for a night. Also Immolation get better with each performance especially with Bob Vigna’s guitar swinging. Here’s their setlist:

AbandonedPlay Video

An Act of GodPlay Video

The Age of No LightPlay Video

Harnessing RuinPlay Video

Despondent SoulsPlay Video

BloodedPlay Video

World AgonyPlay Video

Destructive CurrentsPlay Video

ProvidencePlay Video

Under the Supreme(Dan Lilker from Nuclear Assault comes out on stage before the song starts)Play Video

Let the Darkness In

After Immolation it was time for OBITUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 5th time seeing them and my 2nd time seeing them play at the Phoenix as I last saw them at the Phoenix almost 4 years ago, 3 days after I turned 30, which was also the last time I saw Obituary overall. This would’ve been my 6th time seeing them had I not missed them with Amon Amarth last December due to me being sick and as well not wanting to infect the overwhelming majority of patrons who were going to attend Walter Froebrich’s viewing and funeral. I will also highlight the last time I saw Obituary they played as a 4 piece because Trevor Peres couldn’t get in I think due to a past DUI charge or something like that, so this time Trevor was in the band. I’ll also highlight that I prefer seeing Obituary on their own since they got a longer set whereas with Amon Amarth, their set was too short and they omitted Slowly We Rot, but on their headlining set they closed it out with Slowly We Rot as per tradition. Here’s their setlist:

Snortin' Whiskey(Pat Travers Band song)Play Video

Redneck StompPlay Video

Sentence DayPlay Video

A Lesson in VengeancePlay Video

Visions in My HeadPlay Video

The Wrong TimePlay Video

Barely AlivePlay Video

Slow DeathPlay Video

Find the ArisePlay Video

Weaponize the HatePlay Video

My Will to LivePlay Video

Chopped in Half / Turned Inside OutPlay Video

Encore:

WarPlay Video

Dying of EverythingPlay Video

I'm in PainPlay Video

Slowly We RotPlay Video

Cat Scratch Fever(Ted Nugent song)

Overall a great show and I will say unless a show is on a Sunday during the long weekend or I’m on vacation, awesome, but if it’s the day before I got to work, they can suck my hairy dick, lick my hairy scrotum, and eat my hairy ass since they exhaust me and diminish my motivation to write reviews a day or two after. Thankfully the next Sunday show won’t be until I’m out of the country.

HEAVY METAL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gloryridereview]

Review — Glory Ride — Charing Cross Theatre, London

Glory Ride — Charing Cross Theatre, London

Having seen this show 6 months ago in a staged concert form I was very excited to attend this press night and see the full production this story deserves.

This is not a well known story in England, but in Italy Gino Bartali is a renowned Tour De France cyclist and Hero. In this show written by father-daughter team Todd and Victoria Bucholz we learn of the incredible work Gino (Josh St.Clair) did; using his cycling career as a cover, Gino cycled 1000s of miles across Italy with falsified ID cards hidden in the frame of his bike, to help persecuted Jews escape Mussolini’s fascist regime. Gino never spoke about what he did, he didn’t want the glory so we only know this story thanks to the people he saved.

Though it sounds like a story that would make for a dreary, depressing musical, this show is actually a story of joy and humanity. It’s a heart-warming tale with love and community at its heart.

This truly is an ensemble show, every member of the cast is strong and they carry each other through to the end. Josh St. Clair is an outstanding leading man as Gino, played with a perfect mix of celebrity ego moving into wonderful humility later in the piece.

Fed Zanni as Major Mario Carita is incredible, playing a character who just wants to belong and finds themselves on the wrong side of history. Fed has a big challenge here, one which he succeeds at greatly.

There is some comedy relief in this story, mainly coming in the character of Nico (Daniel Robinson) who is a bumbling accountant and master document forger. Daniel has such a delightful warm quality that you can’t help but fall in love with Nico. The song ‘They Call Me Silent’ is beautifully delivered.

Our leading lady is fantastically brought to life by Amy Di Bartolomeo, who’s talent is breath-taking, with a voice that brings goose bumps, you can’t help but be blown away by her performance. Amy has no trouble playing the headstrong Adriana who knows what she wants and is willing to take big risks to help the resistance.

A special mention must be given to Ruairidh McDonald as Felix who’s rendition of ‘A Minor Thing, a War’ is showstopping, receiving the biggest applause of the night it’s a performance that brings tears to your eyes.

The design of this show is very well thought out from designer PJ McEvoy, with the main design being of Florence town square, then the addition of church benches or office desks easily transform the space.

This story is one which everyone should hear, it’s a beautifully told tale of just how strong the human spirit can be in the face of adversity. With delightful songs and powerful performances from all involved.

This show was reviewed on the 28th April 2023. Glory Ride runs at The Charing Cross Theatre until the 29th July 2023. Tickets available here: www.Gloryridemusical.com

[senditcolton]

If #13 is still free please write it with Nico 😘 All of your fics are amazing ❤️

and with this, the birthday blurbs have finally concluded! i had to save this one for last simply because it's based off of my favorite song from the new Motionless record. i hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

No hope, no time, can't go back, can't rewind; I still belong to you.

You had completely forgotten about the concert until the day before, when you received an email telling you ‘everything you needed to know about your event tomorrow’.

You and Nico had bought these tickets one evening when you were sitting next to each other at his kitchen table, your forearms touching as you scrolled through the website, trying to find the best seating option. When the tickets were purchased, you had thrown your arms around his shoulders in excitement before Nico had pulled you back and placed a loving kiss on your lips.

That was six months ago. There was a lot that had changed.

Namely the fact that Nico and you had broken up.

And now, you had an extra ticket sitting in your account, ready to be scanned at the entrance to the venue tomorrow night. A ticket that rightfully belonged to your ex-boyfriend.

You sigh again, your thumb scrolling up and down the phone screen as you fight with yourself over what to do. It didn’t feel right trying to sell the additional ticket, nor did it feel right giving the ticket away to a friend. It did rightfully belong to Nico. But the idea of standing next to him in a darkened room for three hours was still a frightening prospect. There was always the very real possibility that Nico forgot all about the concert too and you could just attend it without him. But that didn’t feel fair either.

Another sigh escapes you, your thumbs twiddling against the screen as you continue to have this internal debate.

Finally, you exit out of your email, pulling up your contacts and scrolling until you found Nico’s name, hitting the little text bubble icon before composing a quick text message.

Hey, Nico, I just got this message about the concert tickets that we bought like six months ago. Well, the concert’s tomorrow and I still have your ticket.

Your fingers pause on the keyboard as you think. Really, what was the harm in having Nico come along with you? Things between the two of you settled amicably, you still hung out with mutual friends, and any heightened emotions from the breakup were most likely long gone after having three months to settle down. Besides, you both were grown ass adults that could handle this even if things went awkward.

You shake your head to dispel any lingering anxieties before continuing to type.

I don’t know if you forgot about it (because I sure did until now) and made other plans but I would really like it if you would still come with me tomorrow night. If not, just let me know what you want me to do with your ticket.

Hitting send, you place your phone back down on your desk and return your attention to the work in front of you. It isn’t until your phone buzzes a few minutes later to you look back and see a reply from Nico lighting up the screen.

No plans here! I would love to still come with you, if that’s okay.

Perfectly fine with me. Do you want to meet at the venue?

How about I pick you up? That way it’s less hassle.

That works for me. Pick me up at 5?

Perfect. I’ll see you then.

~

To your surprise, the evening had gone smoothly so far. To be honest, you weren’t sure why you were so concerned when you first received the email. It felt like you and Nico were just two friends that were attending a concert together. Yeah, there were a few moments when some of the ushers commented on what a lovely couple the two of you made but besides those few incidents, it was perfect.

Nico was amazing. Respectful, easy-going, and fun to be around. The two of you danced and laughed, singing the lyrics at the top of your lungs and cheering louder than you ever had before. It was about halfway though the concert when you realized that you couldn’t imagine anyone else being by your side tonight. It was truly perfect.

He was perfect.

And soon the night made you wonder why the two of you ever broke up in the first place. Looking back, it all seemed so inconsequential, as if the little issues had been blown to epic proportions, making them seem like oceans that you can he could never cross instead of what they truly were.

Occasionally, you found yourself looking over to Nico, looking at his warm brown eyes and wondering if he felt the same. It was a tough question to broach, one that you didn’t want to try and tackle now in a crowded room with music blasting through the speakers, making it impossible to have a genuine conversation.

You find yourself pushing your feelings down, keeping them underneath the surface until you can figure out a time later to talk to him, to ask him all the questions now buzzing around in your head. That is where you intend for them to stay until you hear the gentle piano echo around the arena, the chords all too familiar and all too painful with Nico standing right next to you.

It was your song. Yours and his.

Gone was the easy-going energy between the two of you, suddenly shifted into a tension that you hadn’t felt in a long time. You didn’t look at each other, didn’t even outwardly react. The two of you just stood next to each other like statues, uncertain what to do, how to approach this moment.

You were content to stand there for the next four minutes until the song concluded. That was exactly what you thought was going to happen until you feel the whispers of Nico’s knuckles brushing against the back of your hand. You don’t glance down, your own hand jumping at the contact before your own fingers reactively flex, your body betraying you and revealing the emotions that you had wanted to keep hidden.

It is tentative, just your fingers brushing together until finally, finally, they intertwine and you feel the warmth of Nico’s palm seeping into your skin. It is only then do you look up and see his eyes already attached to yours; the look within them was one you recognized instantly, one that you hadn’t seen cast in your direction for months.

And when you registered the emotions dancing behind his eyes, a sense of certainty washed over you.

He still felt the same way about you.

There was no way you could go back and change the past, make a different decision all those months ago. But that didn’t mean that it was too late for the two of you. The bridges that you had built between the two of you were closed but not burned. The casket had not been buried; the storybook hadn’t been closed. There was still a chance for you to find your way back to each other.

And right now, with your hand incased within his, you realized that you never wanted to let him go again. A part of you would always belong to him, now as it was back then, in this life and every other.

So tell me your secrets and join me in pieces to fall and rewrite the bitter end… eternally yours. 

[tennessoui]

hello 👋 I was catching up on your tumblr like it's my weekly newspaper of choice and, um, if you ever fancied writing a snippet of obi wan getting the call after a concert about fire fighter anakin getting hurt it would be much appreciated 🥺

alright yes of course!!! i always try to give my asks whatever they want 🥺🥺🥺 here's a snippet of singer!obi-wan getting an 'anakin is hurt' call

(1.8k)

When Obi-Wan gets offstage, the first thing he does is check his phone. That’s what he’s been doing for months now, ever since he and Anakin started dating. It’s not like he can look at his phone onstage in front of all the people who paid to see Obi-Wan Kenobi, rock star. He has to wait, to not carry his phone with him at all up to the stage in order to triumph over the temptation of seeing what Anakin is doing right now, what silly thing he wants Obi-Wan to see.

It’s almost better like this. He gets offstage and he gets little presents from his boyfriend: horrifically cooked meals at the station, complaints about one of his coworkers’ new taste in music, awful jokes his sister has told him.

Tonight, there’s nothing.

He doesn’t think much about it though, not when he doesn’t have his boyfriend’s work schedule memorized. Sometimes the firefighters’ schedules shift on random days; someone calling out sick, someone available to cover a shift they weren’t assigned….It’s a big city, but a small firehouse. Obi-Wan isn’t worried.

Disappointed, maybe, that he doesn’t get to see Anakin’s twisted, disgusted face at Jesse’s attempt at dinner. Or his string of laughing text emojis to accompany a joke from Ahsoka. Disappointed, but not worried.

He chats with Kit and Quinlan the entire time back to his dressing room. The drummer thinks the opening song could use a little more rehearsal. The guitarist thinks it’s fine. Obi-Wan hadn’t heard anything definitively out of place, but he’s always alright with more rehearsal. He wants to give the best performance he can to the fans. It’s that simple.

He’s alone for a few minutes when he changes from his performance outfit into his normal clothes. It’s just after ten p.m.

He thinks about calling Anakin, as it’s only 8 in the evening in his city. Surely that’s too early to go to bed, even for a night off-shit. He thinks about it the entire time he’s changing into jeans and a t-shirt, the entire time he’s wiping off his stage make-up--nothing drastic of course, but just enough to be visible in the stage lights, just enough to look a little ghoulish in the warmer lights of the dressing room.

It doesn’t take much to break him, he’ll admit. He really, really likes Anakin. They’ve been dating for eight months now. He’s almost completely comfortable saying that he loves Anakin, but he doesn’t want to scare the other man off. Sometimes he thinks that everything he feels is too big and too dramatic for everyday life, that being in the spotlight from such a young age ruined him for anything private and selfish ever again.

But loving Anakin feels private, feels selfish. It feels right, amazing, like he’s a bandit robbing a small bank and just hopping on the train leaving town. It feels like he’s getting away with something he never should have even expected to have.

Anakin doesn’t pick up.

This too is excusable, as Obi-Wan hardly expects his boyfriend to wait by the phone, anticipating his call. Anakin’s messages during his concerts are gifts for a reason. They’re not mandatory, they’re unexpected.

Going into a serious relationship like this, they’d both understood the importance of their already established lives. Obi-Wan could no more give up a concert in favor of a call with Anakin as Anakin could go off shift and call Obi-Wan.

He packs the necessities he’d carried with him into the dressing room and looks around, if only to make sure he has everything and he’s not leaving too big of a mess.

Ahsoka calls him on his cell, when he’s halfway between his dressing room and the bus. He almost doesn’t pick up because he doesn’t have Ahsoka’s number saved into his contacts. But her city area code is the same as Anakin’s, and he picks up the call.

“Obi-Wan?” Ahsoka sounds like she’s half on the call and half not. “I couldn’t unlock Anakin’s phone, but I saw you were trying to call him.”

Obi-Wan pauses and leans against the wall. “Yes, I was,” he says slowly, his gut trembling with a bad feeling. “Why are you calling me, Ahsoka?” He hates sounding so abrupt, but he can’t help it. He needs to know. Perhaps Anakin is asleep, and Ahsoka is trying to ward off any further calls in order to let her brother sleep.

“Anakin’s in the hospital,” she says grimly and straightforwardly. Faintly, Obi-Wan thinks he can appreciate her no-nonsense attitude. She gets directly to the point, even though the point iis dangerously sharp.

“No,” Obi-Wan shakes his head, even as he slowly slides down the wall he’s against until he’s sitting on the floor. “No, he can’t be. I talked to him a few hours ago.”

“There was a call,” Ahsoka sounds so close to crying. No, Obi-Wan thinks. Impossible.

“But I just talked to him,” he says, clearing his throat. “I just….”

“There was a fire out on Temple Street,” she says thickly. “He’s in the hospital because a pillar fell on him. Trapped him in...in a burning house.”

Obi-Wan inhales sharply. If he hadn’t been sitting down already, he would have fallen to the ground. “But I--” I just talked to him, he thinks. As if it matters.

“He’s not critical anymore,” Ahsoka tells him. “But he’s still in surgery. Invasive, but. Not overly risky is what they told me.” She sniffles.

“I’m twenty hours away,” he says faintly.

“I know,” Ahsoka says into the phone. “I know. You’re almost on the other side of the country. But...they didn’t know to call you and I thought you needed to know.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible,” Obi-Wan hears himself say. He needs to move. He needs to catch a plane. No matter expensive. He needs to get to the airport, get to Anakin.

Anakin’s hurt. Anakin needs surgery.

It’s Quinlan that finds him in the hallway, guitar slung over his back.

“Obi-Wan?” he asks, offering a hand out without explanation.

“Anakin’s in the hospital,” he says blankly, staring straight forward at the other wall. “He got hurt in a fire.”

“Then let’s get you there,” Quinlan replies instantly, pulling Obi-Wan up. “Come on. We’ll get you straight to the airport. I’ll tell the fans of the next concert.”

“We need to give them a refund,” Obi-Wan says distantly as he lets himself be led out to the tour bus. There are screams of fans, but it’s like he can’t even hear them. He’s underwater. Nothing matters as much. Nothing matters at all. Anakin needs surgery. Anakin’s in the hospital. Anakin’s hurt. He’s in the hospital. He needs surgery.

“We will,” Quinlan reassures him, leading him onto the bus. He tells the driver something harshly, quickly, and then not even a minute later, the wheels are in motion.

Anakin is in the hospital. Anakin had been hurt. He’d been in a building when it’d collapsed. How had Obi-Wan never even thought to worry about this? He worries about everything, but he’d never even thought of Anakin, of what Anakin’s career means. Sometimes he doesn’t get out. Sometimes Anakin doesn’t save the day. Who saves him?

Obi-Wan only realizes he’s making a weird noise with his throat when Quinlan clasps his hand. “We’re going to the airport,” he says with absolute surety. “We’ll get you to him, alright?”

Obi-Wan nods. What else is he supposed to do? He just talked to Anakin. He was fine then. How can someone go from fine to needing surgery in less than three hours?

He calls Ahsoka within the next fifteen minutes, as soon as it sinks in that this is happening. It doesn’t make sense, he can’t wrap his head around it, but it’s happening anyway. He’s ten minutes from the closest airport. Quinlan’s already got him a ticket. He’s coming. He’s almost there. He just...he needs to know Anakin is….that Anakin is……

“He’s still in surgery,” Ahsoka tells him softly. She sounds so small, so unsure. He’s only met her a handful of times, but he knows this tone does not belong anywhere close to her. “I don’t know, Obi-Wan. Please get here.”

Around the sixth hour after his concert ends, Obi-Wan cries. He leaves the official announcement to Quinlan, because he’s a coward. But he loves Anakin enough to type out a tweet anyway. It’s nothing too dramatic, nothing too honest either. There’s been an emergency. He’s sorry. He’s not sorry enough to not go, but he’s sorry enough to talk to fans. There’ll be a refund, maybe a rescheduling.

His entire life feels up in ends, but he talks about rescheduling. He doesn’t know what else to do. When the flight attendant tells him to turn his phone off, he puts it down until she’s passed by.

He looks out the window of the airplane and he can feel his tears soaking into his beard. Anakin is alright, he keeps telling himself. Anakin has to be okay. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Anakin isn’t okay.

It’s suddenly so amazingly clear to him that if Anakin were to--to not be alright--Obi-Wan’s life would never, ever be the same. Never. They’re intrinsically linked together. Why wasn’t he contacted when Anakin was first brought to the hospital? He needs to know this. He needs to know as soon as Anakin is hurt. He can’t stand the idea that Anakin had been injured halfway through his set, maybe at the end, maybe before it even started.

He needs to know as soon as it happens, if it ever happens again.

He never wants it to happen again. He never wants Anakin to be hurt, to be unresponsive, to be so far from him that Anakin’s sister has to let him know what’s going on.

He needs to be something different, something more. Something that makes everyone understand that he needs to be informed immediately when anything happens to Anakin, his Anakin. His….

Husband. Husband would work. If Anakin were to marry him, Obi-Wan would get preference to every medical incident experienced. Obi-Wan could be there. Yes. Husband

Husband.

Obi-Wan wipes the tears from his eyes slowly as he stares at the backside of the seat in front of him. Husband. If he were to be Anakin’s husband, he’d never be third in the information chain. He’d know immediately when something happens to his...to his husband.

Anakin could be his husband. Obi-Wan would ask him. It would make everything easier. It would mean Obi-Wan would know anything wrong as soon as it happened. He’d be the first in the chain of information.

He wants that, he decides as he cries into his airplane food napkin somewhere over the Great Plains. He wants to be the first. He wants to know. He wants to be there everytime Anakin wakes up from an injury. He wants to hold his hand.

Nothing else will ever make him feel any better. He needs it.

[deadprocess]

Hide Away Part 2 (The Trickster x Male!Reader)

//Hi there! A lot of you requested more Male!Reader and I had some Inspo. Enjoy!

T.W: NSFW, Violence towards Reader, mention of alcohol//

Your mouth hung open, fists gripping soft lilac locks as the popstar bobbed his head. Ji-Woon's eyes were closed, cheeks flushed and hallowed with every upward movement, gagging softly when you pushed your hips forward to force more of yourself into his mouth. God, he was beautiful sucking your cock on his knees in some elaborate black harness getup, makeup smudged and hidden away behind a clothing rack back stage.

It started six months ago when he first shoved you into the wall, kissing you with such vigor and desperation that you were instantly hooked. You understood the secretiveness. The hiding in the shadows, a quick rendezvous in your dressing room, the private meetings in a tinted limousine with the driver being bought into silence. You were very much so his dirty secret and you really did feel some ounce of sadness deep down, but it never managed to surface.  You couldn't find it in you to care too much when he fucked himself on your dick or had your legs high on his shoulders.

It was the thrill, the passion and the pleasure. The whirlwind that is Ji-Woon and his lifestyle.

xx

"Do you love me?" The question knocked the wind out of you as your thrusts came to a stuttering halt, balls deep with the Korean man nearly bent in half under you. Your face stayed buried in his neck as you caught your breath, trying to decipher if what you heard was correct.

"What?" The popstar pried your face away from his neck, forcing you to look into his eyes. Today's colored contacts were an icy blue.

"I said do you love me?"

Your face must have been a mess of emotions as you thought about the question. Panic, shock, confusion...you hadn't really thought about the relationship between you two. Neither of you had even brought up the subject of dating, but you did have feelings for the other man. With a few months of constant touching and flirtatious behavior, who wouldn't? You two spoke nearly everyday either in person or on the phone except for the few times he would inexplicably disappear just to come back, apologizing for the lack of response before cheerily announcing he has a new song in the works.

"I...yes. I love you." you said dumbly, unable to place the emotions inside your heart which quickly began hammering in your chest as a grin broke out on the popstars face.

"Of course you do, how could you not!" his cocky laugh rang out and you shoved him hard into the mattress and scolding him for springing that on you, his laughing turning into a high pitch moan when you rolled your hips. You set a brutal pace, burying your face in his neck once again to hide the disappointment and shame evident in your expressions. He didn't say it back.

xx

He wanted it rough most days. His requests went from mild to hardcore within the following month. He wanted to scratch your back hard enough to draw blood, hear your screams, be choked till he passed out, chain you up and whip you...It was manageable for awhile before the the final straw came.

"No," your eyes narrowed and focused on the blade in his hand, "you're not coming near me with that."

"Come on, I promise you won't even feel it! You'll be too busy feeling me bounce on your dick to notice!" you closed shut your eyes, releasing a shaky breath. You could imagine that feeling.

"I said no."

When you opened your eyes again you were face to face with the other man, clear anger splayed across his face as his pink contacts seemed to glow brighter with said displeasure. You'd seen him mad before, of course. The long hours in the studio, the plummeting sales, the meddling executives weighing in on his creative freedom...but you had never seen that anger directed at you before.

"You can't say no to me, you stupid boy," his hand fisted the front of your shirt into a ball, the knife glinting in your peripheral vision, and for once a genuine feeling of fear struck you, "you love me, remember?"

Ji-Woon was dangerous.

"Of course, sweetheart," you kept your tone level, loving and gentle, bringing your hand to cup his face. You brought the k-pop star close, beginning to rock side to side, "I do love you. How could I ever say no to you?"

A sweet kiss was enough to temporarily disarm Ji-Woon and the minute his grip loosened around the knife, you ducked out.

You sprinted out of the unlocked front door, scrambling to make it down the stairway, the sounds of furious screaming and clattering behind you as the other man gave chase. You barely managed to disappear within the crowds once you stepped out of the building. Your saving grace was the flood of paparazzi that swarmed your pursuer, blocking his path.

You would see a disheveled Ji-Woon on the front page of Seoul's popular tabloid within the next few days, questioning headlines about why the popstar was half undressed in the front of his apartment building and cursing at the top of his lungs. Most popular speculation was drugs.

You would claim it was an unofficial breakup after that day. You resigned from your position as a dancer for The Trickster, sold your apartment and moved to the states. You never told your folks or friends what happened, not that they would have believed you anyways. You left it all behind and never spoke to the hurricane of a man again.

Well...you at least never answered back. Ji-Woon messaged you at least twice a day. From simple "hey, how are you doing?" to short snippets of his cock deep in some girl's pussy.

Other messages were aggressive. Telling you that he could easily find where you ran off to and it would be nothing to drag you back to Korea by the hair. But the ones that truly dug into your skin were the audio messages. Most were of similar nature: conversational, lewd, abusive...then there came the desperation. He would audibly sob into the phone, pleading with you to come back or at least answer him once. Listening to his wailing almost broke your resolve.

You deleted the past chats and every new one that arrived from then on. The only message that made you pause before erasing was a virtual invite to his performance for the Mightee One committee; a VIP spot and a first class round-trip plane ticket scheduled for next month.

You obviously didn't go and when the news broke that a mass murder had taken place at said concert, you could only feel a pit sickness forming deep inside you.

It was reportedly a slaughter, all victims in attendance were confirmed dead. However, the bodies Yun-Jin Lee and Ji-Woon Hak were not amongst  the confirmed dead. They were nowhere to be found.

You did manage to move past those terrible events within the following year. Hell, it was somewhat easy to now that Ji-Woon wasn't ringing your phone everyday. Part of you had always wondered if he was acting the entire time, only messaging you so he could be sure that you wouldn't forget him. Another part of you thought about his disappearance.

Was he alive? Was he okay?

You swirled your drink, sinking deeper into your couch. The tv played some old show but you couldn't be bothered to pay attention. Your mind replayed some old memories that crushed you with a peculiar emotion you couldn't place. Allowing yourself to drop your head back against the top of the cushions, you tried to relax and move past those painful times.

Flashes of Ji-Woon interrupted your peace. Your body entangled with his, hands delicately tracing patterns in your skin and noses touching from the close proximity. The city's colorful lights peaked through the window blinds, illuminating his figure to you. Yellow contacts piercing in the dark as you held each other, mumbling sweet nothings.

Your eyes closed, bleary with the drunken reminiscing of the past.

You didn't see the fog rolling through your room.

xx

"Did you love me?" you gurgled out.

The Trickster kneeled to your level as you sat crumpled against the rotting wooden palette.

Your body seized slightly as the trauma to your head began to override adrenaline, your eyes trained on him to the best of their abilities but the darkness began to seep through. A hand reached out to tilt your head back up. The killer (your killer) held your stare, admiring the horrific beauty of your broken iris caused by the harsh strike to the side of your temple.

"Of course, you stupid boy." The Trickster chortled, thumb softly tracing circles into your cheek. You were fading fast, but there would be no relief or solace in your fast coming death, "I still do."

You closed your eyes as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You didn't want to see him. You didn't want to see those yellow eyes.

"If I didn't, you wouldn't be here. I loved you so much that it brought you to hell for me."

The abyss took you and all you could do was accept the momentary peace of transition before you were thrown back into his hands.

There was no more hiding. No more prying eyes nor spotlight. Just him and you, interlocked permanently in this game that even death could not do you part.